Life Goes On [6]
CEO Namjoon x Au Pair YN
Namjoon has been married for years. He has twins, a happy life, a beautiful wife, a wonderful home. But, why, after nearly a decade of building, is his seemingly perfect life crumbling around him?
Masterlist / i don’t have a tag list / find me on twitter / word count: 2.9k
AN: sorry it’s been so long my loves hh! but i’m back!
(angst / smut / fluff)
tw: ableism, nosey grandparents
Chapter 6 ‘Sore’
The expectation of failure was tangible.
Namjoon could smell it, even over the strong smell of coffee that he didn’t think he would be able to stomach. Areum’s parents stare at him from across their neat living room set, an impenetrable bubble of silence enveloping the three adults while the twins were visible through the bay windows leading to their expansive yard, screaming and laughing with their toys and the family butler.
The butler that Namjoon’s company was able to provide them with.
After hearing about the affair, Namjoon had presumed that Areum’s parents would expect him to turn up at their door, trembling under the weight of suddenly having two expectant, needy children pressing down on his shoulders.
He almost wonders if they were hoping he would be panicking, that he would be crazy out of his mind with grief and pain, so that he would be more than happy to hand his kids over to them. Something that he would rather die than do.
They had always been the nosey type, in the way most well-off parents were, but it had never been enough for him to complain. At least, never aloud.
He didn’t think he could complain, truthfully. Areum was very clear on how much her parents meant to her, how important their approval was for her, and even if she didn’t mention it outright, the tightness in her jaw or the tension in her shoulders would tell him that something he did in front of them had edged a touch too close to unbecoming. Uncouth. Slovenly.
Namjoon didn’t come from money, not like Areum had, even though some bad business decisions had left her side of the family in a bit of a financial pickle some years ago. They had relied a lot of Namjoon at that time, when his company had finally started making big money and he was able to hoist them into a life of actual luxury.
And the thing that bothered him the most was that her parents weren’t totally incorrect.
He was struggling, but he learned quickly that that was part of being a single-parent.
Single-parent, he repeats in his head. How was he supposed to get used to the way that sounded in his head?
Areum’s mother, a delicate-looking woman in her early fifties, with lightly permed hair and elegant age-lines framing her familiar, almond-shaped eyes looks out at the twins with a wistful uptick of her lips and she says, to the point, “We just feel as though taking the twins for a couple of months might ease the load while things… settle down.”
Namjoon tenses up for a moment, his grip on the handle of the cup tightening until his skin whitens.
Areum’s father clears his throat, awkwardly, before he adjusts his glasses on the tip of his nose. “We don’t mean to imply you can’t take care of them. We just feel this might be a better environment for them right now.”
His wife continues, “You understand our position, right, Namjoon? As their grandparents, we only want what’s best for them and their safety.”
His blood runs cold and he turns his head towards the couple, fire burning in his eyes as he repeats, his voice low but the warning clear as day, “Safety?”
She jolts back, as if she didn’t realize the implication of what she just said. “N-Not that you are a danger to them. It’s more about their emotional well-being.”
He echoes, brow raising, “Emotional well-being?”
She nods, taking another sip of green tea, as if that were going to soothe the combination of blows she had just delivered to his shattering ego and sense of self.
Namjoon puts the cup on the coaster and glances away, biting down on his lower lip in anger. He knows he shouldn’t - he knows it will only make the situation worse, and he should just nod and let them vent their frustrations in their passive-aggressive way so he can leave as soon as possible and get the sticky feeling of their judgement off his body, but he couldn’t hold his tongue any longer.
He spits, angrily, “And, whose fault might that be?”
Areum’s father splutters, surprise coloring his tone, “What do you mean?”
Namjoon cocks his head to the side and asks, barely holding back his sneer of disgust, “If Areum hadn’t slept with whatever shmuck she found herself in bed with for all those months, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
His mother-in-law coughs, shocked, and exclaims, “Namjoon!”
“Don’t use that language in our home.”
Namjoon scoffs, chest tight. “It’s the truth though, isn’t it? Areum cheated on me and left her children to go prance around, living out a fantasy of happiness, avoiding her real responsibilities and the people who needed her. Leaving me would have been fine. Leaving them is unforgivable.”
He slams his hand down on the table and jabs a finger in their direction. “And if you think for even a moment I was going to hand my kids over to you, you have another thing coming. For the sake of our future relationship, I’m going to forget what was said today. But if I hear anything like this again, please understand me when I say this: I will ruin you both.”
His father-in-law asks, voice trembling, “Is that a threat?”
Namjoon scoffs. “A threat would be me pulling financial support out from underneath you and leaving you ass-out without a penny to your name. You do remember that you signed over majority ownership of your little yachting business to me and my company, don’t you? If I pull support, you might have three, maybe four months, in this big, fancy house before you might have to… down-size.”
He stands up, adjusting the lapel of his suit-jacket and says, “I hope we understand each other.”
Namjoon leaves the room, a ball of fire raging in his chest, and the need to see and touch his kids overwhelming his sense. “Minjae, Minseo. We’re going home.”
“Oh but daddy, we just started playing,” the twins complain in unison.
Namjoon feels his frustration tick. “Now.”
“Daddy.”
“Now.”
The two jerk in surprise, not used to their dad using such a stern tone with them, before they hurriedly rush off back into the house to say goodbye to their grandparents.
Namjoon exhales, his shoulders dropping in anguish. “Fuck…”
The twins are hugging their grandfather’s legs when Namjoon walks back into the delicately-decorated foyer, and Minseo is sniffing. He had teared up a little, which only serves to make Namjoon feel worse. He ushers the two into the backseat of the car, clipping them into their car-seats. Both of his children seem to be occupying themselves with their hands so as to avoid looking at him as he does so, which makes him sigh.
“MJ, Mimi, look at me,” he says, extra soft.
They twitch, hearing him, but their feelings were still hurt so they ignore him.
“Look at daddy,” he says, once more, reaching for their hands.
The twins look up at him, Minseo, defiant as usual huffs and turns her face away, but Minjae, poor, gentle Minjae, blinks up at him with tear-stained lashes, and Namjoon takes a moment to press kisses to their foreheads.
“Daddy’s sorry for yelling,” he says, honestly. He looks between them and murmurs, quietly, “It won’t happen again, okay?”
Minseo sniffs, still not believing his words. She says, “Daddy’s been a big meanie.”
He nods, understanding, and he agrees, “The biggest meanie.”
Minjae retorts. “I don’t like it.”
“Neither do I,” Namjoon agrees. “I’m sorry.”
Minjae reaches for his dad’s face, tentatively. “You promise?”
He nods, throat thick with emotion. He looks up, trying to blink back the tears, and he feels another hand briefly caress his cheek. He looks down to see Minseo struggling to reach for him. “Don’t cry, Daddy.”
Namjoon feels the urge to do just that well up even stronger than before. He uses his sleeve to wipe his eyes before he nods. “I won’t. Shall we go get ice-cream and visit Uncle Jin? Daddy doesn’t want to go to work today.”
The twins shriek in unison, happiness replacing the sadness that had befallen them moments ago, in the way that only children could, and he moves to the front seat.
Determinedly, he avoids looking back at the house as he pulls out of the driveway, the weight on his chest easing the further he moves from the house.
He turns on the CD player, allowing ‘PinkFong’s Top 40 Hits’ to play through his expensive speaker system and the twins lose their minds, jigging and dancing in the backseat. He shoots them a couple of fond glances in the rear-view mirror, watching their feet kick up as the repetitive, childish music sets a funky groove through their toddler bodies.
He gets them the ice-cream he promised them, of course. A scoop and a half of strawberry for Minseo and caramel cookie dough scoop for Minjae, and he took a couple of bites of both, much to their annoyance. He cleans them up with wipes in the baby bag in the trunk of his car, and they drive off to Jin’s place, where he spends the next few hours ranting and raving until he is red in the face while his babies sleep off their food-induced coma.
“And then, and then they had the nerve to suggest I couldn’t care for them, because it wasn’t safe. Safe, Jin. Can you believe that? Do they think I would hurt my kids?”
Jin stays quiet for most of his monologue, his expression pinching at points in barely restrained anger and disgust over their behavior. The two men were sitting in Jin’s den - a private area filled with all his favorite things like scotch, a wall of aged books in foreign languages and a pool table, where he hosted his friends a few times a month.
His wife had her own little cubby-area on the other side of the bottom floor of their luxury apartment. Namjoon had always thought of building a den in his home but he had never wanted to make his wife feel as if he wanted there to be a distinction between them, as if he were trying to make space where there didn’t need to be.
He bites his bottom lip and explains, “I know they know about my bipolar disorder. A- She had to disclose a bunch about me when we started dating, and they didn’t like it back then. They said I was… damaged goods. Her dad made it clear that he wasn’t happy about his grandkids potentially taking my batch of crazy.”
Jin glares out of the window to the left of them, taking a big swig of whiskey to try and ease the fire in his chest.
Namjoon moves to sit on the edge of the couch, exhaling heavily and putting his head in his hands. “But, A- She said she smoothed it over. She gave them all these stats about genetic transmission of bipolar and other mental health things. I didn’t like it, because there wasn’t anything wrong with being like me, you know? But I got it - I wouldn’t change me, but maybe if I got the choice, I wouldn’t have chosen to be this way… I made excuses at the time, but now… I know they never accepted me.”
Jin comments, slyly, “They sure accepted your money, though.”
Namjoon glances at him and explains, awkwardly, “It was the best thing for the family at the time.”
Jin prompts, “And now?”
“With the divorce, I don’t know what responsibilities I’m supposed to maintain with her side of the family,” Namjoon says. “But I have to do what’s best for the kids. If they spend time with their grandparents, I don’t want them to be living in shit.”
“That isn’t your problem,” Jin reasons. “If they haven’t been monitoring their finances well, that’s on them. And if they can’t maintain their living situation without leeching your money, then they’ll have to deal. It isn’t like they live with their grandparents. They live with you, Joonie.”
Namjoon looks at his oldest friend and feels a swell of happiness in his chest. He feels heard and listened to and supported. “Thank you, hyung.”
Jin shrugs. “It’s nothing, kid. Did you want to spend the night?”
He shakes his head. “No, I need to get them home and keep up a routine.”
Namjoon moves to leave the room, but Jin stops him with a hand to his shoulder. “Did you have a chance to look at the list of help I sent over?”
He shakes his head. “I’ve been kind of swamped with Agust D and trying to get JK’s world-tour budget organized with the foreign media management team. Why? Did anybody jump out at you?”
Jin shrugs. “A couple. You wanted them to speak English more, right?”
He nods. “Even though everything is going on, I still want to adhere to the plans we had for our kids. Learning English was just one of the things we wanted for them.”
“I put in a few foreigners who specialize in childcare or have had experience with nannying and being a live-in au-pair.”
Namjoon nods. “I’ll look tonight. But I really should get going.”
Once he gets the sleepy twins in their car-seats with a little fuss, Minjae gripping his collar tightly as if he were afraid of his father leaving.
Getting his babies in bed was always a trouble when he was by himself, but with Ms Park, it was a breeze. He dressed them in their pajamas and got them into Minseok’s bed, not wanting them to spend the night apart.
Areum was sure that having them be independent was best - letting them express their personal tastes and habits in the privacy of their own rooms was best, but he felt it was too early.
He wanted to them to sleep together, to wake up together, to grow up with having each other as a support system, to never get used to being alone. All of that independence stuff could come later.
But, he conceded, as he always did, and now, looking at his kids, he regret that choice deeply.
He sits on the soft floor, carding his fingers through the fluffy carpet as he watches his babies sleep. Namjoon watches the rise and fall of their chests, as their little bodies twitch and shudder in their sleep, as they reach for each other and knit their fingers together even in their sleep.
They were so fucking beautiful.
Namjoon couldn’t leave them - never, not even for a second.
He shouldn’t consider her anymore, he shouldn’t put more energy into Areum, but he can’t see how she couldn’t stick around for them.
Namjoon thought they were the most precious things in the whole world. He puts his hand on Minjae’s chest to feel his lightly pounding heart and feels overwhelmed all over again, like the day they were born. He closes the door behind him, leaving a crack of space just in case anything happened and moves to the kitchen area where Ms Park was getting ready to leave for the night.
“Thank you, Ms Park,” he says. “For staying a little later. I didn’t realize how hard it would be to get them into the car.”
The older woman smiles, all warm and gentle. “It’s no problem. You know you can call me for anything and I’ll be here.”
He puts his hands on the island, resting his weight there and exhales. “I know things are somewhat unconventional right now, so I want to thank you for being so available for me to rely on.”
Ms Park stops packing her purse and looks at him, her gaze edging close to pity. She puts a hand on the side of his face and says, “That woman really doesn’t know how good she had it here.”
He smiles, but it feels forced. “She wanted to find something different, I suppose.”
Ms Park tuts. “A flimsy excuse. And it will soon turn to regret, I can promise you that.”
Namjoon doesn’t dare hope her to be correct. “I was thinking of hiring some help for you and the kids. A live-in care assistant.”
Ms Park’s eyes brighten at his words. “I do find it a little tricky to manage twins at my age, so some help would be wonderful.”
He smiles, ruefully. “I’ll hold interviews over the next few weekends and hopefully I’ll find someone to start by the end of next month.”
Ms Park nods.
Namjoon asks, “Do you have any advice for me? A- My- She hired you from the recommendation of a friend, correct?”
She gracefully ignores his stuttering and replies, “Yes. I worked for a friend of Ms Kim for some time before I became employed here. My only recommendation would be to find someone who truly likes children. Neither of your kids are badly behaved, and they have only a few health worries but that’s what I’m here for. So, the most important thing is to find someone honest and someone who enjoys the idiosyncrasies that comes with having spontaneous and lively children. You’ll be able to tell who does and doesn’t fit those requirements very easily.”
He stares at the empty space on the island, eyes tracking the grooves and whorls of the black and white marble, hoping to make sense out the nonsense that is his life.
- end -
(1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6)
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Your assignment was to initiate a snowball fight in the square, not attempt first degree murder…"
The warmind pointed out cooly as Felwinter examined the ingloriously hard chunk of snow coverd ice, with intent optics.
"What? You think I'd throw this at someone? I've no interest in harming civilians…how resilient are titans you say?" The exo inquired darkly as he stared at the Vzdokhnut's store front.
"Felwinter, if you cannot initiate your assigned objective, I will not hesitate to-"
"Im on it..I'm just working out how to do this…" Felwinter grit out as the Exo awkwarldy grabbed a fistful of snow, the cold white material was wet and squishy, it weighed noticably more then earth's snow, yet much more easily merged together…
For a long moment he stared at the snow melting slowly in his hands, and as he studied the pristine frail microscopic crystals for some incredulously inane reason, Felwinter was griped by the sudden urge to taste the fluffy white substance, however Rasputin put a stop to the Exo's reckless train of thought as if he was still linked to the Felwinter's mind..
"Eroupa is comprised of 84% ice, and 16% organic matter, of that 84% at least 22% of that is comprised of nonindigenous bacterial pathogens, while 19% of the remaining 62% is contaminated by naturally occuring radiation…I am confident your inorganic organs may no doubt flush the poisoning easily from your system, however, there could be possible harm inflected on your lesser organs before any potentially harmful contaminants are efficiently purged, It would be unfortunate to have to replace them Siddhartha."
While the snow did look tantalizingly pure, the Exo dropped the scandalous melting snowball, he wouldn't test Resputin's readiness to replace his organics with superior upgrades, almost constantly he wondered why they colonize such a hell hole, the sheer idiocy was beyond Felwinter..
"Spring won't like this, she loves the damn snow, now all we have is this crap.." The Exo sneered as he envisioned Spring's dismay at not being able to play in the snow.
"I have scheduled an appointment, to have the two of you inoculated, however it has been post poned, until further notice you are not to let her engage with the snow of Europa"
"You dont have to tell me that, ill keep her safe."
"I dont doubt you would, now if you would, pick up the snow ball and hurl it at the closest target, think of it as…target practice, these are intruders and they are on my lawn, erradicate them" the warmimd commands way too comfortable with the malice that radiates from his reverse russian words.
Felwinter's optics nerrowed in on a group of innocent bystanders, two babbling warlocks refilling the festive sidewalk urns with solar energy as they bicker back and fourth with a hunter, who was warming their hands beside them.
Their public generosity did little to spare them, they were figuratively on his lawn and that wouldn't do…not at all.
"Rodger.." The Exo breathed as he grabbed a fist full of snow to form a renewed snowball, he wielded it as if it were a void garnade, and for a while his victims were none the wiser, at least not until the hunter perceptive as ever, took note of his approach and visably stiffened, not that it mattered because by the time his hand raised, they did a very hunter thing, dodging out of the way and to safety, leaving behind the two confused warlocks as oblivious sitting ducks.
Felwinter's artificial heart would have bled for them and the betrayal they faced, he would have considered sparing them if only he gave a damn.
Unfortunately they were not spring, Elsie or Osiris.
So no, he didn't give a single damn about hurling the snowy garnade into the face of one of his victims, they screeched on their way down as if shot by a double barrel shot gun…with really good range…their anguish..it felt liberating…
the other warlock had fallen over in the alarm, staring in horror at their obliterated fallen comrade, the terror in there eyes did not move the Exo as he slowly advanced on them, they scrabbled back begging for mercy but for all it was worth, it was pointless after he grabbed another handful.
But just as he was about to land the killing blow on his prey, Felwinter felt a impact followed closely by a shock of cold against his neck, his scarlet eyes slid to the side to fix the sly coward of a hunter with a leer that would scare the gun ammo off a cabal.
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could i please request something of evie’s universe where evie gets upset because she doesn’t understand why quinn has to leave so much :(
DON’T LEAVE — family is family au
“No!”
Quinn took a deep breath in as Evie’s yells bounced across the apartment walls. He made the mistake of glancing backwards, catching sight of Evie trying to claw her way out of your grip, as you held her in your arms.
Quinn had another series of away games, meaning he had to leave you and Evie in Vancouver.
“Dad, don’t leave!” The four-year-old girl wailed. Evie wasn’t typically this upset when Quinn had to leave but when you’re four and you haven’t gotten much sleep the night before, when someone close to you is leaving, chaos is the only option.
Quinn knelt down, dropping his bags at his feet. "Hey, Evie," he said softly, his voice calm and steady. "Come here, Bug."
She hesitated for a moment, her little fists clenching and unclenching, before she wriggled free and rushed into Quinn's open arms. He scooped her up, holding her close, feeling her tiny body tremble with soft sobs.
"Don’t want you to go," she whispered, burying her face in his shoulder.
Quinn glanced over to you with broken eyes as he gently stroked her back.
“I know, Bug, I know. But I have to play with the team, remember? We’ve talked about this." He softly reminded her.
"But why can't you stay? With me and Mom?" Evie sniffled, her big eyes searching his for answers, the red tinge causing Quinn’s heart to crack.
"It's my job, sweetheart. Just like how you go to preschool and Mom goes to work.” Quinn explained, his thumb brushing away some of Evie’s stray tears. “But guess what? I'll be back before you know it and we'll have lots of fun when I return.”
“Like what?”
“We can go to the park, and I'll even teach you some new hockey moves. How does that sound?" He listed, his eyes trained on your little girl.
"Promise?" Evie pouted slightly, her grip on his shirt loosening just a bit.
"I promise, Bug," Quinn swore, giving her a reassuring smile as she leaned fully into him. "And while I'm gone, you can draw me lots of pictures, okay? So when I get back, you can show me all the amazing things you've made."
"Okay,” She managed a small smile through her tears. “I like drawing.”
"That's my girl." Quinn kissed her forehead and set her back down gently. "Now, be good for Mom, alright?"
"Okay." Evie nodded, wiping her eyes with the collar of her T-shirt.
Quinn stood up, grabbing his bags once more. He gave you another quick kiss, brushing your hair behind your ear.
"I'll call every day,” he whispered into your ear as you briefly wrapped your hands around his middle.
"You better," you replied with a soft smile, squeezing his hand as he pulled away.
As Quinn walked out the door, he turned back for one last wave. "See you guys soon, love you!" He called, balancing his bags.
"Love you too!" Evie called out, her voice stronger now.
The door closed, and Quinn's footsteps echoed down the hallway. You looked down at Evie, her face still streaked with tears but her eyes filled with determination.
"Come on, sweetheart," you said, taking her hand. "How about we make some signs for Dad’s upcoming games, hm?"
The night was spent with you both sitting down at the kitchen table, Evie with her crayons and you with a warm cup of tea.
As promised, Quinn called every single day and once he returned he was bombarded with hundreds of pictures Evie had drawn just for him.
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