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#so I tend to keep everything for myself
erabu-san · 1 month
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Wait you ship Albedou with Tighnari!? Not to sound rude btw
Hmmm I don't really ship them ?? Like, yeah I clearly don't mind the ship and lol i drew them for fun because it is my main and the one fictional character I'm simping for more than 4yrs now but
I can't see it as a romantic relationship (i am convinced abt tighnari aromantic rep and bisexual sorry) 😔
And my mind was like "what if albedo flirtly provoking tighnari during science session and--- oh." the second I regained my consciousness, my hand already slipped and drew a comic.
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puppyeared · 9 months
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#UAUHGG im havung oc thoughts. plaguing myBRAIN. i can feel my heartrate spiking holy shit#ok so. i rly wanna touch up presto and shuffles story without scaring myself out of it by overthinking it. esp the implications of#them having animal features and what they would eat. as well as worldbuilding character dynamics setting background characters ugghh.#constantly have to tell myself its just for fun. basically theyre rival magicians who keep their identities secret and fuck it up in#the funniest way possible LMAO. they rent the same apartment and the landlady accidentally gives it to both of them without them knowing#so they end up walking in on each other out of costume and have this weird tension around not revealing each others identities despite thei#borderline malicious rivalry. blackmail may or may not be involved i havent decided yet#they DO consider backing out of tenancy but they decide not to so they can make sure they dont reveal each others identities#thats the idea but its really abstract bc i dont have a direction or writing in mind. they just rattle in my head like spare change#other stuff i have rn is. they both consider each other a copycat and they have the same skill level of magic#but they have different styles and techniques theyre just too focused on outperforming each other to notice#presto likes to make people laugh so they probably include gags and impossible feats. shuffle is more elegant and focuses on#smooth movements and dangerous stunts. i want to make that reflect in their costumes but its hard bc stage magician costumes tend to stick#to suits and capes.. so idk. then maybe side characters like the landlady and other tenants but i havent given em much thought orz#i really should practice with concepts because i have a bad habit of making everything similar to the first try so its frustrating#and i suck at writing characters. but im doing this for fun so im trying not to get hung up on whether its generic or not#yapping#stares at the floor. maybe i should make a carrd for my ocs#oc talk#presto#shuffle
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girlfictions · 1 year
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does anyone else have that odd. guilt about feeling homesick. like you’ve moved away from your parents you’re independent and there’s nothing wrong with where you are but there’s still that part of you that will never stop longing for your old bedroom / the smell of your mother’s perfume / the way your dad always made you fried eggs on sundays and you can’t help but feel as though you shouldn’t because there’s such an awful childish vulnerability in wanting to go home; the terrible admittance that you crave unfettered, easy love.
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Me, when Sebastian joins my party for the first time: Okay, this time I'm not going to forget about you, Sebastian. I'm going to make an effort to use you a lot this playthrough so I can better understand you.
Also me, immediately forgetting about Sebastian while finishing Act 2 and making it halfway through Act 3 before I finally notice his Faith quest: ......................Oh. Right. My bad.
#da2#dragon age 2#sebastian vael#listen in my defense..........i don't like bringing sebastian anywhere sksksks#okay look i seriously tried but every time i bring him somewhere i always think man i wish i had brought someone else#and also i do just forget about him! i finally added him to my party at one point and he had 24 points to spend...#that's how long i neglected him after i promised myself i was gonna use him more and then i didn't#it's not that i don't like sebastian as a character though i do tend to side eye him A LOT... it's just that i like everyone else more#even aveline like i'd take aveline over sebastian any day and that's saying something... or is it? i have a lot of feelings about aveline#whereas my feelings about sebastian could maybe fill a thimble...it doesn't help that in my canon run as a mage hawke#i romance anders and well... sebastian wants me to kill anders and my hawke is like 'do i approve of blowing up the chantry? complicated.'#'am i breaking up with anders for this? absolutely. do i still love him? mmhmmm. am i going to kill him sebby? i'd sooner set varric aflame#then sebastian threatens to bring an army to kirkwall and leaves so i can't say i have the greatest opinion on him#even the time where i did kill anders and he stayed in my party he was just... there#and then he glitched out and started t posing while asking if ed ever found out what anders wanted to do in the chantry so..... yeah#but even this playthrough where i'm playing as a lady warrior with a different personality and everything... i'd just rather use anyone els#also keep him away from bethany i do not approve sksksks she's too good for him#i want to understand and see the different angles of him like with the other companions but i've yet to convince myself to do it#also sebastian romancers out there can you like... explain? genuinely can you explain the appeal? i'm curious#because of all the love interests in da2 i look at sebastian and you'd think i'd maybe be more interested? but it's like...#i know about the chaste marriage and everything like that's fine i don't need sex to be a thing in the relationship but it feels less like#an asexual romance and more like... y'know... being with a priest and i guess that's just not one of my kinks? sksksks#i guess there's also the prince angle but i romanced alistair in dao and kept him a grey warden i don't really care about royalty power#and i don't have issues with him being a part of the chantry [well i do but yknow what i mean] since i romanced cullen in dai#and his whole deal with the chantry and magic and shit makes his romance interesting to me but sebastian is just.... a bit too much i think#i don't know i'd like to understand because i really don't but i also keep forgetting about him
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mattodore · 7 months
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i’ve been pretty quiet on here and avoiding my activity and dms these last few weeks because october was easily one of the worst months i’ve had in a very long time and i lost my family dog of seventeen years and had a medical scare for not only myself but my cat and just all these things happened at once that felt incredibly hard to bounce back from mentally… but aside from being sick atm things are starting to get better for me and my family so hopefully i can actually start being. normal. again soon 🧎
#river dipping#i don’t think i get personal on here very often just bc. the pd. um#but i figured i should say something bc my avoidant personality disorder is uhhhhhhhh#certainly Avoiding.#i’m so sorry if you’ve messaged me or @ed me or just tried interacting in any way#ik i wrote in my pinned navigation that yea i take breaks and avoid my activity and it’s nothing personal#but i still just wanted to reiterate it#i tend to keep notifications off for tumblr and my activity and everything like i only ever check when i’m mentally prepared for the State#my brain goes into when interacting with people#it’s not that i’m ignoring you!! my brain is just. very bad.#and i have a lot of trouble actually replying#especially in private messages#i’m much more comfortable talking publically which is why discord is so not for me 😭#i really have been pushing myself out of my comfort zone a lot this past year and it’s certainly helped a ton#but still. it’s a disorder i’ve had my whole life so 🤷 it’s still sticking around ykwim#so i’m sorry 😔 but i’m also incredibly thankful toward everyone who’s taken the time to talk to me and interact with me and just thought of#me in general even when i’ve been so isolated recently#ummmm but on the bright side i moved out finally and am at a place that isn’t gonna poison my brain anymore so ‼️#it took a few horrible days for my pets to get used to the house but things are fine now and i’ve set up my room and am :) doing better#surprisingly my panic disorder has been absent since the move… which is very weird for me#i fr think my previous place might actually have been poisoning me like i’m serious#……..i might delete this post in a bit if i start feeling too crazy abt being vulnerable lmao. um.#but for the people that’re online rn! my beloved friends and lovers yk#there’s my little update
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nakaharaswife · 8 months
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missing clefdraki hours.... silly little fucked up fellas....
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urlocallesbiab · 8 months
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sorry to everyone who's been missing me/waiting for something from me, i've been slipping in and out of depressive fog for a week or two (and in general have experienced significantly worse depression than normal for a couple years, but that’s another story)
i long to get back, too; a lot of things to read and ideas to write and people to talk to. love y'all, take care
#signed: vika's ghost#also i've caught a cold so there's that too#terribly sorry for being overdramatic i'm just... tired of being tired and i wanted to talk about it a little bit#it's very important for me to talk about everything that's wrong with me. i tend to avoid that but now i'm trying to learn and to make peace#creative drive and ability to hold thought-out conversations keep slipping out of my graps and it kinda hurts more#— in a good cathartic sort of way but painful nonetheless — to remember what they felt like at all#i miss wanting to work on my wip and i miss having the attention span to write out headcanon and i miss having headcanons#and i miss talking to my fandom friends#(i did it just last week but i already miss it. it's one of the things i'd like to be able to do every day)#and i miss the ability to connect with art and i miss the ability to focus on written word and i miss commenting#and i miss discussing ideas and i miss interacting and i miss having fun. god i just miss having fun.#kp my apologies for not making much progress on bb&b; myself my apologies for not writing any of my other wips or outlines or posts;#da gc gang my apologies for not following up on any of the things; every fic writer whose work ended up in my to-read pile IM SORRY#jack & kp specifically i love your stuff#also jack my apologies for taking a While; & the rd gc apologies for never writing out any of the cool au thoughts i'd had after some point#really,i've been meaning to. everything requires way too much effort. everyone is so fun and i miss having fun#take care,remember me fondly,i'll be back,please stand by#if tomorrow morning i find this embarrassing i'll chalk it up to a fever or something.#idc i'm allowed to have it. world won't blow up if i'm embarrassing on the internet once or twice or honestly even forever#vikarambles#vent
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skyeateyourdonuts · 9 months
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weeoo
#this is gonna be me talking in tags today#ive been rather sleep deprived lately trying to keep up with everything around me#and its been taking a toll on my health like#if i go too long like this i tend to feel more lethargic and my allergies kick in#i got a sore throat bc my room has been Freezing and then i get headaches way way easier#often times my face will flush but its just my nose and idk why#well anyways lmao i just aint feelin great due to lack of sleep#so i emailed my teachers and stayed home and others might say this wasnt it#but i can barely get to sleep at all these days and just bed ridding myself#seemed like the only way for my body to be like#'fine 🙄 u can sleep' lmao#thats actually one of the worst symptoms is im restless i just Cant grt to sleep no matter how hard i try#ive had a couple days where i was running on 2-3 hours bc i spent even longer Laying there#anyways i hope this makes a difference im tired of feeling tired and shitty#luckily my mood has weirdly been high#its just my sleep and health that are low#i think when the sleepiest soldiers are unable to get sleep thats when u know smths wrong#i think also so much is happening and me trying to keep up is taking more outta me than i expected#im a gal who gets overwhelmed easily even if im happy w whats happening lmao#tho im not Happy im more In a Good Mood lmao#side tangent but i HATE being an adult who doesnt have like idk Help lmao#like my dad was so nice to me sometimes and helped me sometimes#i could go a whole day sleeping bc id be fucking exhausted#and hed qake me up and ask me when i last ate and if i couldnt decide but itd been too long#hed make smth for the both pf us or hed make it For me and id just be able to like recover lmao#ah adulthood is hard lmao#alright im done#gata#no need to read <3 yall
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summoner-of-mist · 3 months
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man im having a wanting to die kinda night again :(((((((((
im trying so fucking hard to make friends but i guess i just cant and just gotta die instead
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I have this tea cup I made in highschool (it’s really cute and was designed more like those Japanese ones without a handle than it was those fancy English style with even more elements to them) but I never actually asked if the glaze we used was food safe (we all used the same glaze on those cups specifically because the teacher glazed those ones in particular and I don’t remember checking. I glazed and painted every other project but only one of them was something you would use for food and that thing broke a few years ago and was honestly more decorative) and this has haunted me ever since. It’s a super cute cup and I adore it, but I have no idea if I can use it for its intended purpose and while I could buy a lead testing kit I’m not sure how I would check for anything else that might have been in that glaze. I know the color used but not the brand, so that’s not really a help either. The teacher I had left the district after that year because our school district paid art teachers a shit wage and we rotated through them like elementary school kids needing new shoes every year. I’m not entirely sure how I would contact her, but even if I did track her down (something not entirely impossible from what I know about her life outside of teaching us for a year, I would feel slightly weird about it though, even though she was my favorite art teacher) but I highly doubt she would remember something like the glaze she used on one project her students made at a school she taught at for one year. I’m not sure what other testing kits I would need besides lead to confidently say it’s safe enough for my personal use, and it’s annoyed me for several years now.
#emma posts#it was peacock. peacock green I believe#and do you have any idea how many brands produce a peacock named glaze?#I could maybe narrow it down by looking for one that tended to be more forest green to dark blue#but that’s not really a great way to get a definitive answer#I also wish i could make more ceramic stuff right now! I’ve been hooked ever since yhat class#polymer clay sculpting isn’t quite the same (though better than nothing) and air dry clay often feels crumbly#neither of those could be used for cups and stuff#but even just making clay sculptures (my favorite) hits different with clay#I miss the smell and the feel and the way it worked#the closest I’ve gotten to the experience was digging up clay near my parents house and trying to fire it in the bonfire#it was only a half success#I tried to learn how ancient people made stone wear with raw clay and other materials added#but i just can’t seem to fire it the same way and it ends up slightly ashy on the surface from the soot#it’s also a bit more prone to cracking and I know I can’t expect the same as what it’s like working with the good stuff#and I know the clay on the farm is at least decent but not modern quality#also it doesn’t get fired all the way so if I get water on it it starts to dissolve a bit again#I should try to study ancient clay methods#it would be really fun to try to recreate some stuff in the area behind the lilacs#but it isn’t as good as modern clay#I’m getting really side tracked though#art problems#I wish I had an actual studio. I don’t see that happening any time soon though#my dream is to live on one of those houses in the woods north of town and have an art studio and room for more pets and gardens#i don’t think that’s ever gonna happen though#right now I’m just trying to figure out the local buses and stay in government housing#I can’t drive. I dropped out of college because of health problems. I’m living on disability and foodstamps. my health inssues make my#schedule and availability unreliable for a regular schedule#keeping up with the dishes is my worst enemy (aside from everything else)#i just don’t see myself doing much outside of my desk in the corner of my small living room any time soon
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running-in-the-dark · 3 months
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the thing is. I've said many times that it'd probably be better if I didn't post on here so much, especially when I'm not doing so great. it does not feel good. but. when I don't, it just all stays inside my head and it feels so much worse for far longer, so I really just don't know how I would cope without this.
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there is something inherently tragic yet freeing about knowing that, even though you didn't get what you needed when you were younger, it's still possible to build that life for yourself as an adult.
you're not trapped or destined for loneliness. you can always build. again and again and again, as many times as you need to. the love and the freedom and the kindness and the connection, it's all waiting for you. you'll get there.
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mgs3dickeater · 7 months
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ohh
#i very rarely talk about stuff like this because i tend to be a very personal person on social media but#ive only really just realized that i guess its true most people will let things fade away on purpose if they dont deem the friend important#and that theyre not like me and will be happy to jump right back into conversation after not speaking for years#ill do anything to keep a friendship and im starting to think thats a problem? that its abnormal?#i dont know. ive always been the one reaching out to try to rekindle something. and after so many turn downs and no effort to hold#conversation i really dont have much of an option to assume that its being done on purpose#believe me im really not the type to immediately assume negative intention in fact quite the opposite#which again... i cant really ever tell when im unwanted versus just feeling unwanted#i think the worst thing is that looking back on conversation i wasnt always the best friend. not the best conversation partner#so then naturally ive got to be like... well... youve made your bed‚ i suppose#its really funny how many times in my life ive found myself thinking 'i really wish i had the insight back then that i do now'#unfortunately it was hardly ever a conscious decision i ever made to act like that. but saying i didnt know any better feels like a cop out#i really did try to know better‚ though. growing up felt like violently clawing my way into trying to understand anyone and everything#i dont know. a lot to think about
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allylikethecat · 9 months
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I haven’t said it yet but I’m honestly so in love with your writing I don’t know many people who write Gatty anymore and you honestly being me so much joy when i see you’ve posted a new chapter or started a new fix because I know everytime I’m going to love it
As well as your prompts and stuff like that I literally love everything you write 🥰🥰
Oh my gosh, thank you so much! This is so absolutely kind of you to say! I'm so flattered and happy to hear that you are enjoying my fics! I have a lot of fun working on them, even if I do sometimes over think it and then panic that I'm just shouting into the abyss. (Which even if I am, it is still okay because I write because I enjoy it... even if I forget that part sometimes haha)
I know that Matty/Ross is having a bit of a moment, which is fun, but it's always going to be Gatty for me! I selfishly wish more people were writing it still because I really enjoy reading it, but I am so thankful that there still are authors, and it's so special because everyone who is still writing the pairing is so talented! I really enjoy reading all of the different takes on their relationship!
I'm happy to hear that you are enjoying the prompts as well- I have a whole bunch more of those in my inbox I'm hoping to get to soon as well! I apologize that it's taken me so long to get through them, and that my updates have been slow for a lot of my fics - I've been all over the place lately and haven't had the time I would like to write. Hopefully things will calm down soon (unlikely but I can dream lol)
Thank you so much again for reading and for this ask! My Inbox and my DMs are always open if you would like to chat! I hope you continue to enjoy my various project updates and prompt fills! Thank you!
❤️Ally
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sleepyhomosexual · 7 months
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jagerstian · 8 months
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I had a realization earlier while reminiscing on past traumatic events that those events did in fact change me as a person and I only just now connected those very obvious dots and now I'm pissed off because do you realize how cool and carefree and extroverted I could've been? This is so bogus, I used to be the popular kid and then BAM. Trauma. Now I'm a hermit who sometimes goes days without hearing myself talk without realizing it. People used to greet me by name, complete strangers i had never seen before in my LIFE, but they knew me because word got around. What the FUCK. I WAS SO COOL AND BELOVED? Now I'm basically if a potato was sentient. AND MY REPUTATION STILL PRECEEDS ME? THERE ARE KIDS FROM YEARS AGO WHO STILL THINK ABOUT ME AND STILL WANT ME TO LIKE THEM? THERE ARE GUYS WHO STILL LIKE ME SO MUCH THAT THEY ARE STILL ASKING ME OUT AFTER ALL THESE YEARS? What a downgrade I became. Today I had to work up the courage to cheer for my cousins soccer game out loud. I used to be EVERYONES hype man, effortlessly. It was like a switch, the way I changed. How do I reset to my default settings? Thanks brain, for protecting me, you did a good job, now please retire so I can be fun again, thanks
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