Tumgik
#they’re so tactile your honor
wolfythewitch · 12 days
Text
Tumblr media
Married people !
5K notes · View notes
butraura · 9 months
Text
I was thinking about what Buck and Eddie’s love languages are and very quickly was like, “wait, it’s most of them.”
Acts of service: Buck introducing Eddie to Carla, cooking for each other, Eddie being there for Buck when Maddie is missing and when his parents are in town, Buck taking care of Christopher, Buck bringing Eddie to Chris after the earthquake, Buck going against his own trauma to rescue Eddie after he was shot and keeping him alive in the fire truck, Buck rushing to Eddie’s place after his breakdown to check on Chris and see if Eddie was okay, talking him through his issues, Eddie getting Buck ice after he was punched, Eddie trying to get Buck out of his head to “save him” from himself, going the extra mile to save each other during calls and risking their lives, Eddie risking another lightning strike by rushing up the ladder to get Buck down and then forcibly taking over his care after they arrive at the hospital and then shouting at the doctors to “do more”, Eddie letting Buck over just to fall asleep on the couch, respecting his boundaries despite his own need to check on him, getting him water after his nap, talking him through his own issues and trauma, Eddie planning the poker outing to get Buck smiling again, Buck driving Eddie and Chris to the airport, them understand each other implicitly, etc.
Quality time: Buck driving Eddie to get Chris after the earthquake, Buck going with Eddie to the hospital after his abuela broke her hip, hanging out to play video games, hanging out to talk about their struggles and fears and feelings, hanging out to cook for each other + Christopher, building Christopher’s modified skateboard together, Buck and Eddie taking Chris to see Santa together, going to the bar together (+ the rest of the 118), both of them there for each other during recovery, “this is Eddie’s house, I’m not really a guest”, going to the grave of a deceased woman they met on a call, being each other’s partners at work, going to El Paso to visit his family after their work in Austin (+Hen), etc. (bonus: Buck taking Chris on trips together all the time, like the zoo)
Physical touch: please, when are these two NOT touching? That’s a shorter list. Shoulders, hands, knees, hugs, they are the most tactile duo on the show, even more than the established relationships I’d argue. They’re always in each others space. (Bonus: the way they are so gentle with Chris and pick him up and bury their face in his neck and spin him around and kiss his head. So special to me)
Words of affirmation: “there is no one in this world I trust with my son more than you”, “because, Evan, you act like you’re expendable, but you’re wrong”, “I’m sorry I wasn’t there, Eddie”, “he’s a really great dad”, “you’re badass under pressure, brother… hell yeah, you can have my back any day”, “or you can have mine”, “no one will ever fight for my son as hard as you, that’s what I want for him”, “the truth is, you haven’t been the same since the accident. But how could you be?”, etc.
We don’t see a lot of examples of gift-giving (EDIT TO ADD: the Hildy coffee maker and, of course, Eddie giving Buck his SON) (though I’m sure it’s happened lol). But it’s so beautiful to me how these two and their trauma-heavy upbringings shower each other with love and affection so unapologetically. I just love them your honor
150 notes · View notes
rongasm · 5 months
Note
Never in my wildest dreams would I imagine that you’d still be here, making stydia fans suffer!!! No, Rachel, you already ruined me for good and yes I’m on my way to reread rainflower because you still loving stydia this much makes me want to sit down and cry and what better way to do that if not my nemesis of a fic and a weekend.
p.s. i just want to ask you to tell me what are your thoughts about how lydia ruined stiles prior to that movie because i need some theories, this was all too crappy for me. (in all fairness, i did check your ao3 before lurking in here and asking you this and that one shot was hot, you did good saving Stydia as best as you could…)
I’m so honored you still remember my writing! I will always love Stydia the MOST, they’re so gorgeous and so fleshed out in my head.
Rainflower was written at a different time in my life and I’m not interested in revisiting the story. BUT! I’ve told people how it ends over the years, so if you’d like to know the ending, you can come off anon and I’ll tell you when I have time.
And if you miss my writing, I encourage you to watch The Artful Dodger on Hulu because a.) I’m working on a fic for that fandom and b.) I bet the main ship on that show will scratch the itch of “two smart people who are in love with each other’s brains and ridiculously tactile with each other and are working together on a caper.”
Re: Stydia in the movie, I remain strong on the idea that she had to lie to him and tell him she didn’t love him anymore in order for him to let her leave him. And that destroys me on a personal level. I have attacked myself.
7 notes · View notes
reasoningdaily · 10 months
Text
Tumblr media
From Braids: Fingerwave Saint, based on halos in Renaissance paintings.Courtesy of Crowe
Forget Pinterest inspiration boards—there are some hairstyles that are so inventive, the Louvre would be lucky to have them. Exhibit A: the intricate, braid-centric masterpieces crafted by fine artist Shani Crowe. After receiving a grant from Chicago-based nonprofit 3Arts, Crowe launched Braids, a series of photographs capturing real women adorned with her elaborate hairstyles. Though she’s been commissioned by celebrities such as Solange to create custom works (you might have seen one on SNL), Crowe happily considers new models—who don’t pay for the service.
You’re trained in film, photography, painting, and pottery. Why choose braids as your medium?
I’m a very tactile person—I’m good with my hands. And I’ve been thinking of doing a project like this since I was a kid. I come from a large family, and we often did each other’s hair. I always saw having my hair braided as a privilege, and I wanted to share that.
Tumblr media
From Above All.Courtesy of Crowe
The pieces you make are so ornate.
Oh, man. They take hours and hours and hours. The crown I made for Solange took me fiftysomething because of all the individual Swarovski crystal beads and armature—and that’s just for the separate hairpiece attached to her braids. Usually, my looks average five or six hours. You really get to know someone.
How long do people wear them?
Typically, the styles are taken down right after I shoot, because they’re not really wearable. People have to go to work. But if you want a style to last, you should tie a satin scarf flat to your hair at night to keep the braids lying down, or wear a silk bonnet—it helps. Avoid cotton, because it takes moisture away from your hair.
Tumblr media
Crowe and Solange backstage at SNL.Courtesy of Crowe
How do you keep styles sharp and eliminate frizz?
I like braids to be very crisp and neat; it’s about the finish for me. You’ve got to pay special attention to the part. If your scalp is dry and an oil isn’t working, try witch hazel on a cotton pad, and gently rub—that’ll help with flakes without drying out the hair.
What’s your view on nonblack women wearing cornrows or dreadlocks?
American culture, in general, doesn’t do a good job of honoring indigenous art. There’s never a moment where it’s like, These braids are from.… People will just do it and say it’s just a hairstyle. Personally, I’m not here to tell people what they can and cannot do. I know what I’m going to do: I’m going to continue to create.
Tumblr media
To prep dry hair for styling, Crowe spritzes Vernon François Pure~Fro Moisture Spray (2) before a blow-dry: “It makes hair feel very soft, and it’s a way to help hair receive product a little better.” Harry Josh Pro Tools Pro Styling Clips (1) keep hair in controlled sections for manipulation over long periods of time. To create a perfect design with razor-sharp lines, Crowe saturates hair with Ampro Pro Styl Shine ’n Jam Conditioning Gel (4) before parting it with a heatproof Fromm Diane Ionic Anti-Static Comb (3). “This holds hair together on one side of the part, making it easier to keep flyaways in their position because they’re gelled down.”
Tumblr media
3 notes · View notes
writing-protocol · 2 years
Text
Princess
"What’s off limits?” Shiro asks one afternoon.
It’s a mild, winter day, and they’re seated at a hole-in-the-wall cafe near Kairi’s school, waiting for kindergarten to let out for the afternoon. It’s Friday; earlier that day, Shiro introduced Keith to Kairi’s teacher and the school administrator. Now he has permission to pick her up from class if Shiro can’t make it. 
According to the feisty child, he was bestowed a high honor and should be pleased. With Shiro’s help, Keith picked out a stuffed plushie for her and plans to hand it to the kiddo this afternoon. 
For now, they have thirty minutes to spend and Shiro is asking questions that no one has bothered to ask before, about Keith’s needs. 
The mechanic has a pretty good idea of what his companion likes — Shiro’s a tactile person for whom touch matters a great deal. With permission, he’s hugged Keith dozens of times, and he occasionally messes up the younger man’s already-unruly hair. He’s also been an absolute gentleman about Keith’s limits.
So, really, at this point it’s in Keith’s court. “I don’t know, exactly.”
“Is there anything you could share? That might help. You don’t have to, obviously.” Shiro hesitates, staring down his drink like it might wander off otherwise.
Keith searches for words for a full minute, composing himself. He’s not afraid of disappointment, but this is a gray area he’s walking into blindly. Softly, he says, “It’s not so much off limits as I don’t respond like a normal person might. I have preferences, but they don’t involve other people.”
“You definitely weren't comfortable when I kissed you,” Shiro points out.
“Most people I’ve been with don’t stop at kisses. Haven’t stopped, before. I shouldn’t have included you in that statistic, but I didn’t know.” Keith frowns into his coffee. “I’m sorry about that.”
Shiro reaches out and puts a large hand over Keith’s. They sit together like this for another minute. “Don’t be. I know a thing or two about unwanted expectations. I’d like to kiss you again sometime, if you don’t mind.”
“I could be OK with that,” Keith murmurs. “I don’t know.”
“We can always find out, on your terms. I don’t want to push you, and I don’t want to assume anything, but it’s on the table. Whatever you want.”
The mechanic nods, resolves to open up about his needs someday soon. “All right.”
“Good. Now, how about we go grab the princess and then get started on this weekend adventure?”
---
A week later, Pidge gets ahold of Keith.
It’s snowing again after a few days of mild weather, and Kolivan’s closed early to avoid rush hour traffic. So, he’s at home on his computer, pondering birthday presents for Shiro. He’s excited about the prospect of spending time with the man and getting him something nice.
“Hey,” she says a little too seriously when Keith picks up the phone.
“What’s up?”
“Trouble, maybe. Remember that guy you asked about?”
Keith hums in answer. “Curtis, yeah. What about him?”
“According to some recently submitted legal docs, he’s trying to file for custody of a little kid named Kairi. I don’t have all the deets, but you told me to monitor him and this came up today. I thought I’d pass it along. Also, the boss wants to know if you’re up for doing a run in the near future.”
The news about Curtis makes Keith unreasonably angry, and he doesn’t have an opinion about the latter. “Tell the boss I don’t know, and they can kiss my ass.”
Pidge rolls her eyes. “It’s a package delivery, completely legal and legit and fucking insured. It’s safe even by your exacting standards, except obviously it needs added security.”
“Anyone can do those.”
“Not this one.” Keith hears Pidge typing away in the background. “They’re pulling in Hunk and Lance for it. Me, too, in a coordination capacity.”
“Huh.” Keith looks over at his computer. He could use a distraction. “Send me the details, and we’ll see if we can make a good presentation for the boss.”
“Thanks, Akira. I always feel better when you’re there.” Pidge sounds genuine, and that scares Keith more than anything.
“Bye, Pidge.”
He stands up and stretches the kinks in his neck. A wave of excitement settles in his gut at the prospect of real work, the kind that leaves him high with adrenaline. It’s been a few months since the last engagement, and while money isn’t a problem, Keith loves the rush that comes from what he does. 
He doesn’t have to lie to Shiro about it, either — deliveries constitute a large chunk of the agency’s business and they’re easy enough to explain. Delivering precious goods makes sense to most people.
The bit about Curtis warrants a conversation with Shiro, so he grabs his keys and heads downstairs. He can pick the older man up after work and discuss logistics on their way home.
If you're interested in reading more, click on the Professional tag.
2 notes · View notes
zenruption · 7 months
Text
Revitalizing Classic Marketing Strategies With A Digital Twist
The age of classic marketing, where flyers, billboards, and radio spots ruled the show, has certainly fallen by the wayside for most businesses! Of course, there are still players who use traditional marketing strategies. However, most businesses these days use a blend of traditional and digital marketing. The important thing to remember is that the fundamentals of marketing haven’t changed, but the way we do it has. So today, we’ll look into some classic marketing strategies and consider ways in which those strategies can be revitalized through digital marketing tools and tactics. 
Via Pexels
Mailing Meets Emailing
Do you remember the age of snail mail marketing, where promotional postcards found a home in every mailbox? Now with a more modern touch, email marketing can still be an incredible tool to generate leads and sales for your business. So take that old school postcard and convert your designs into visually striking emails. Even better. Make sure that your email marketing designs embed buttons that make the emails interactive, leading readers to your pages where sales can be made by the click of a button. Remember, convenience is the name of the game.
Signage To Stories: Light Up Those Pixels
There is a certain nostalgia for classic, charming sidewalk signs that lure passersby into a shop. While they can still do the job for out and about customers, there is way more reach online. So, think about creating “Stories” on social platforms from pictures of your sidewalk signs. It’s the sidewalk experience, reimagined for screens, blending tangible locality with virtuality.
Coupons To Codes: A Deal Is A Deal
There’s just something exciting about a freshly clipped coupon, promising deals and delights. The digital world yearns for that palpable excitement. So why not try digital coupons, complete with scannable QR codes. Share them on all your digital platforms, ensuring they’re enticingly clickable. Suddenly, the humble coupon transcends paper, becoming a sharable, interactive online experience that can trigger virality and traceable customer engagement.
Local Newspapers To Local SEO: Target, Engage, Enchant
The tactile joy of a fresh newspaper, its pages whispering stories of local businesses and their offerings. What an experience. To caress and kindle that essence digitally, why not entwine it with the precision of local SEO. Craft keyword-rich content that highlights your locality and offerings, ensuring that your business stands out when locals search online. Contribute to local online forums, groups, and websites, keeping your brand voice alive, genuine, and ever-present in the local digital community. SEO has become one of the MVPs among the digital marketing tips available today. 
Experience the thrill of seeing your traditional marketing strategies flourish in the digital space, connecting with both past and present customers in a genuine, heartfelt way. As the digital age continues to show its endless potential, your small business doesn’t just move forward; it leaps. It remains current. Here, your classical marketing roots remain firmly anchored, consistently nurturing the interchange between past and future. Revitalize and reconnect as your timeless strategies are now infused with a digital pulse, driving into the future. So why not honor legacy, embrace the present, and craft a bright future?
0 notes
akaraboonline · 1 year
Text
Why Taurus Are Such Good In Bed: 9 reasons
Tumblr media
tTaurus, ah. Did you know that in addition to being loyal, gentle, and trustworthy, they are also renowned for being excellent in bed? Why Taurus Are Such Good In Bed: 9 reasons Yes, Taurus is regarded as one of the signs of the zodiac that makes the finest partners. But why are Taurus signs so desirable in bed? You won't ever lament spending time with them in the bedroom because of their unmatched commitment to making an enjoyable experience. Look no further than Taurus if you want an unforgettable encounter in the bedroom! Let's get into the juicy specifics of why we make such excellent partners and why we are such good in bed!
Why Are Taurus So Good In Bed?
Tumblr media
You've probably heard all the rumors about why Taurus people are so darn excellent in the bedroom if you're here, so it's probably for that reason. So sit back and enjoy the inside scoop on why Taurus individuals are the zodiac's consummate partners. So get set, and let's start the conversation! 1. They’re sensual and passionate Taureans have a unique talent for hitting all the right spots, which makes them the best in bed. What gives, though? Well, due to their ardent and sensual personalities! Some astrological signs simply have it from birth. Because they are extremely tactile and adore being touched and held, Tauruses are known for having an intense bond with the physical world. They are the perfect bed partner because of all of these factors and the fact that Venus rules Taurus! Be ready for a great sex relationship if you're dating a Taurus, then! 2. They’re extremely romantic Being excellent in bed is frequently related to how romantic you are because many people find it difficult to fully enjoy the experience if their partner only views sex as an animal instinct. But fortunately for you, Taurus is one of the loveliest indications of the zodiac. Since they are aware of how crucial that is for the entire game, they will first attempt to put you at ease. Every Taurus wants to make their companion feel desired and wanted, and they want the sexual activity to have more significance than just a simple hookup. In bed, they enjoy relying on love and confidence. Because Capricorn also enjoys a loving and dependable environment, Taurus and Capricorn are very compatible. 3. They won’t stop until you’re satisfied
Tumblr media
Taurus men are also particularly persistent and won't give up until you're completely pleased. They believe that they and their partner should both appreciate having sex. They actually bear a striking resemblance to Aries and Sagittarius in this regard, both of whom, because of their fervor and enthusiasm, won't move on to the next job if they perceive that you aren't satisfied. Unpredictability and spontaneity are key components of excellent sex. By utilizing these two factors, Taurus raises the bar on contentment! To make you wholly satisfied is their final objective. It's always about the trip, not the destination, in the end. Right? 4. They’re physically strong The two zodiac signs with the strongest physical attributes are Taurus and Scorpio, and many people find this power to be very attractive. There is no sexual position that Taurus cannot accomplish with this strength. So, you can be confident that you and your Taurus partner will experiment with a variety of sexual positions, depths, and rhythms. One of the many advantages of strength is the ease with which your Taurus can exert dominance in your partnership. So, if you enjoy being submissive in love, a Taurus is your ideal partner! 5. They’re patient Okay, being physically fit is definitely a benefit in the realm of sex, but so is patience! Because of this, Virgo, Libra, and Taurus triumph in this area, but let's concentrate on Taurus for the time being. You can count on your Taurus partner to take the time necessary to make you feel loved and unique. They will therefore pay close attention to your requirements and be very receptive to new ideas. They will honor your boundaries and only have fun once they are certain you are happy. have the unique capacity to recognize and decipher your body language...It seems as though they can read your thoughts. So, sure, they will be aware of when to stop and what to do. 6. They never skip foreplay
Tumblr media
Our Taurus partners are truly aware of the value of foreplay, so may God reward them. They'll do whatever it takes to prepare the mood for your sexual meeting, whether it's in person or on social media. What can you thus anticipate? Providing erotic massages, chewing on the neck and ears, or focusing on any other erogenous area Another great way to establish a solid connection before the real deal is through kissing. If you are a Gemini, you enjoy foreplay that involves dirty conversation. Additionally, despite the fact that your Taurus enjoys physical contact and caresses, they'll still seek a compromise between these two foreplays. Never skipping foreplay is the secret to a fulfilling orgasm! 7. They know how to seduce You can infer from what you've read so far that Taurus intercourse is an amazing experience. But how and why? Like Aquarius and Pisces, they know how to get the most out of a passionate night. lighting, enjoyable music, a cozy setting...They will do many other things in addition to these to create the proper ambiance. But after foreplay, the actual sexual experience begins. They have a natural ability to manipulate touch and when to press buttons thanks to this. They're one of the best zodiac signs for sex because they can read your body language like a novel, which makes them one of the best signs overall. 8. They can go over and over again Why is Taurus a great love partner? Well, if you've ever been with a Taurus sun sign lover, you're undoubtedly already aware of their propensity for returning. You should trust me when I say that this sign of the bull won't stop until it feels right because they are renowned for their tenacity and perseverance...or up until you're both happy with everything. And you had best behave similarly in bed if you want to win over a Taurus man! Be ready for the journey of your life, filled with plenty of rooted, grounded, and sensual orgasms, just like their sign. 9. They are good kissers
Tumblr media
Because this Earth sign is unquestionably one of the best kissers in the zodiac, a Taurus guy appreciates it when his partner is a good kisser. Being a Taurus is all about enjoying life, and embracing is undoubtedly one way to do that. They toy around with the kisses you receive, tease you with them, and manipulate you in order to make you feel good. As a result, they also value a good kisser, so if you want to attract a Taurus lady, practice your kissing skills.
FAQs
Tumblr media
How freaky is a Taurus in bed? Tauruses take their time and make sure their partner is happy before going on to the fun stuff. However, once they begin to move, they can become very erratic! They know how to use their powerful bodies and hands to ensure that their partner is completely satisfied. Tauruses are known for their passionate and sexual temperaments, making them the perfect partner for a night of wild, sweaty, and memorable enjoyment. They appreciate taking the initiative and experimenting with various positions and methods to maximize pleasure for both partners. Additionally, their endurance guarantees that you can indulge in hours of sexual pleasure without fretting about running out of steam with either of them. What do you need to do to satisfy a Taurus in bed? When it comes to the boudoir, Taurus is one of the most challenging signs of the zodiac. However, one thing is certain: they take pleasure in sensuality, luxury, and ease. Therefore, put ease first. Try to establish a relaxed and comfortable environment for your Taurus. You already know the drill: excellent lighting, enticing music, and a cozy bed. Afterward, be careful to inspect each other's bodies. Touch them and give them a sense of value and exclusivity. The mood will be certainly set by this! You can add some opulence to the boudoir if you want to spice things up a bit.
In Conclusion
Why then are Tauruses so desirable in bed? After reading just the first few sentences of this piece, I'm confident that you were able to determine the solution. One of the finest zodiac signs in bed is without a doubt this sensual sign. In the bedroom, they have a lot to offer, from their sensual touch and foreplay that is specifically tailored to your needs to the innovative portion that follows foreplay. So Taurus is your perfect match if you're searching for someone who will fulfill your sexual fantasies. It's not just a forecast after all; it's a way of life!Description meta-data: Why then are Tauruses so desirable in bed? Discover why these sensual lovers will offer you a night by reading on. Read the full article
0 notes
cowboylikedean · 2 years
Text
Folklermore Spn Finale: august
In honor of it being August, I thought I’d revive this
I mean it should be obvious, what place this song has had in my journey, in my healing and my hurt.... 
‘Cause it was never mine
This show happened to come into my life at a time where life was all in front of me. I might be getting ahead of myself, but the context of the bridge is important before I start with the beginning. 
Back when we were still changing for the better And wanting was enough For me, it was enough To live for the hope of it all Cancel plans just in case you’d call And say meet me behind the mall So much for summer love and saying “us” ‘Cause you weren’t mine to lose
In early 2012, I had so much growing to do.. That year I grew up SO much. April 2012 was one of the greatest months of my life. It was so full of warmth, even in the cool nights of spring. I started watching Supernatural in January and I got caught up in February/March (I started watching live with The Born Again Identity but I watched Repo Man and Out With the Old the week they aired). Back then I had so many dreams and ideas of who I would be and how my life would go... I remember screaming at my mother’s husband that it was so unbelievably rude and uncalled for to tell a 20 year old that their dreams of being a TV writer were unrealistic because I had my whole life in front of me so he didn’t know! If I wanted to, I bet I could find the post I wrote about that fight in my personal tag. There was just so much magic in that time... 
In the time spn was my main fandom, I broke up with the only person I ever romantically dated, I made new friends that I actually spent time with for the first time since high school, I started defining my relationship with Sledge as life partners, I discovered I was not a lesbian and was bi/pan/queer, I realized you could label with more than one label, I decided that I was actually creative, I moved out of my parents’ houses, I discovered I was trans, I changed my career goals about a billion times, I dropped out of school, I went back to school, I finished my associates degree, I got into a 4 year school, I found a home environment that felt safe and healthy to be out in the public areas for the first time...
The only fandom to see me through more growth is the Taylor fandom. 
Everything about the Supernatural fandom was intoxicating to me back then. 
Salt air, and the rust on your door I never needed anything more
There’s something heavy and tactile about that first line and it informs the second and 100% that’s how it felt   The show was all I needed, the fandom was all I needed. It was heavy and tactile and it was all I’d ever needed.
Whispers of “Are you sure?” “Never have I ever before”
These lines are about a teenager having their sexual debut, but to me they’re all that growth I mentioned above. I literally never before did SO much stuff and I turned to the show for comfort in the lack of control of the newness. And it was. Comfort, I mean. It was comfort.
But I can see us lost in the memory August slipped away into a moment in time ‘Cause it was never mine
I started this with ‘Cause it was never mine bolded and large. That time slipped away into a moment in time and the show itself slipped away from me. I tried to hold onto it far after it had gone and it took me a lot to realize it was never mine. But I can go back, and I can not only see, but feel how real it felt, the love between me and this show. 
And I can see us twisted in bedsheets August slipped away like a bottle of wine ‘Cause you were never mine
Remember I said the show was intoxicating? It really did slip away like a bottle of wine. And the ecstasy of sex has that intoxication and also a sense of being blind to the rest of the world. Nothing outside the bed really matters, and that’s what it felt like. I’ve spoken in many places and occasions about how Supernatural was relatable beyond belief to every type of trauma with 0 healing.. And getting that wrapped up in validation, it was blinding. And also the fandom was such a club. I felt like I was with the cool kids.... But the show was never mine. 
Your back, beneath the sun Wishing I could write my name on it
This couplet is so innocent, so sweet.. Independently from the couplet that follows it, it’s such a fond memory and the imagery of the sun, you can feel the warmth. “Wishing I could write my name on it” is wanting to claim it as yours, Dean, the show, the fandom.... were Mine... Or so I wished. I wanted to CLAIM them. I wanted to PROTECT them. I wanted to have a say, some control over what happened, a stake. And the imagery of “Your back,” The warmth here, the wanting, the wishing, the needing... was not seen by the subject. I’ve struggled this whole time.. Even now... With the fact that I left. I talked about this a bit in cardigan but it has really been difficult for me that I left and feeling like I wasn’t there to protect Dean, to fight for him when he needed me. Inn that respect, I almost feel like none of it was seen. It also didn’t matter because the show was never mine, it was gonna do what it was gonna do without me... 
“Will you call when you’re back at school?” I remember thinking I had you.
This part just... So I mentioned with the symbolism of “your back” and feeling bad about leaving... And this part... I always here it four ways... The show talking to me and asking if I’ll still care when I have more of a life. I got into the show when I had literally failed out of school. And then I also see myself talking to the show asking it to still care about me as it progressed through the seasons. It got harder and harder to watch and it felt like, the show moved on without me... And the last ways I hear it breaks my heart the most and they’re that... but Dean, not the show. I never felt like I lost him, even when I lost the show. And when he died... I didn’t know where all that fit. I didn’t feel like I lost him, but I didn’t feel like I had him and I felt completely alone. And everyone was writing fanfic about him being happy in heaven with Cas and/or Sam and I was like FUCK THIS FUCK EVERYTHING because it felt like.... like he didn’t call, back at school. Which brings me to Dean to me... I have felt so much guilt for a almost lack of faith, a lack of trust... A lack of strength... We’ll get to “I never had the courage of my convictions when danger is near” but I just have felt so GUILTY.... Of course he’d call when he’s back at school, but only if I would too. When I left, was that me dropping the ball? Dean is fictional, he doesn’t know that I left or have opinions about it... But I worry about it nonetheless.
And then the chorus sets in... And none of it matters.. I can see us lost in the memory, and I can see us twisted in bedsheets... But it slipped away into a moment in time, like a bottle of wine... Cause it was never mine. 
And by that, I don’t just mean.... That I had no control, I mean the show wasn’t mine, Dean wasn’t mine. He was ours. It was ours. There’s a power in reclaiming that that only nostalgia knows....
Which is when we come back to the bridge. That hopefulness, that spirit of adventure, being willing to throw it all away for some time with the person (or thing) you love... Even for just a moment.... That’s the point, right? 
august is a deeply sad and heartbreaking song, but it’s also loving and sweet, and... even happy. We’ll get to it BUT “there was happiness because of you, too.” It ended because we weren’t each other’s to lose.... But that time... “Back when we were still changing for the better” fills me with this warm feeling... I remember sitting on the swingset by my dad’s house in the middle of the night in April 2012 and while I did that with a partner who very much is still my partner, the spirit of that growth cannot be divorced from SPN to me. “When wanting was enough, for me it was enough” refers to that time in the s7/s8 hiatus when all the possibilities were in front of us. I had a purgatory fanfic idea that if I had written it would have SHOOK the fandom and I just... Had SO MANy ideas  Everyone did. There was so much to do storywise... before Jeremy Carver fucked it up. “To live for the hope of it all” I had hopes for what the show would do and I had hopes for what I would do and I didn’t see a world in which we wouldn’t do them together.
And so much for that. The show wasn’t mine, it was a moment in my life. A moment I’ve come to be very grateful for. A moment I’ve cursed to the ends of the earth. But it was just a moment. And that’s the point.
1 note · View note
swordheld · 2 years
Note
i have a query for u! i love reading and writing but i’ve always read and written dreary, morbid, horror-y things. i want to change that but everything else is so unfamiliar to me! do u have any recs for more optimistic, grounded writings - and maybe some thoughts on learning to write that way myself?
oooooh, what a question, what a concept! i do believe that i should start with how i feel stunningly honored that you’ve come to my humble inbox to ask me of my opinion; as well as how i can’t give you only my own opinions and not also give you the works of those that have inspired me in my own odyssey to mix the two (note that not all of these are directly related to horror/optimism, but are all ideas that i think might benefit your learning process!): an essay discussing ursula k. le guin’s “the carrier bag theory of fiction”, an interview with simon stålenhag on building a world that reflects the emotional quality of the story, weird studies podcast on art is a haunting spirit, the marginalian’s the banality of evil: hannah arendt on the normalization of human wickedness and our only effective antidote to it and annie dillard on how to live with mystery, the two ways of looking, and the secret of seeing.
i’m going to continue gently in reverse order so that my recommendations make a little more sense, i do hope that you find it a bit easier to read that way! 
starting this out like a thesis statement: my main grounding point is that personally, i find the most tactile of optimism in stories that focus on humanity. they hold this sense of unrelenting selflessness, this aching for optimism and equity and taking care of everyone that we can.
and yet; this does not mean they are always happy stories.
this is the most interesting part of it, this dichotomy of parallels? dreary sunlight, gentle horror; how we mix the two and get something sometimes even scarier than what we started with. what a challenge, what a satisfying complex thing! a literary puzzle box that shifts each time you pick it up.
i really do love a good horror-edge of a story? pieces that aren’t afraid to hold onto their tragedies with both hands, to really pull that tactile fear to the surface and make you call it by name. whether it’s something psychological, emotional, or supernatural  –  much of the time, they circle around back to their human origins: death, betrayal, grief, memory, revenge, honor, etc.
to take your story and have it not only focus on that humanistic urge/dream/motivation  –  but teeter. look at it as a teeter-totter analogy, if you will; where that singular action/feeling/idea/etc. is the main point of connection of everything within the story, the precipice it holds itself on. call it or see it any way you like: the center of the labyrinth, the point at which the oroborus eats itself, the circular idea that holds itself as the crux of the story.
whether it’s love, family (found or otherwise), or some kind of goal for the bettering of something  -  place, person, thing. the biggest piece of grounded optimism is within making the tragedy worth it, or at least something to live through and past, where all that weight to bear something matches the consequences of the actions, the balance of cause and effect.
to take what you already know and are comfortable with and slowly implement different and brighter ideas gradually as you go may be an easier thing to begin your learning with. starting with palpable arcs of optimism you find yourself drawn to: ideas of safety, connection, moments of warmth and comfort, etc., where you’re taking those dreary and morbid story settings and centering it on that; finding the light and hope that ties it all together. 
a good place to start may be with inspiration from the toast’s children’s stories made horrific series (the curious george one is my favourite), but they’re all good! if you want more essay-like interpretations/commentary, horror comes home: essays on hauntings, possessions and other domestic terrors in cinema is similar to this idea and i have really been enjoying it!
having your stories be character-focused rather than plot-focused could help this method as well; giving you a grounded base of interacting with the story and its world through a perspective both you and your readers can relate to, mistakes and grief and joy and all.
for recommendations of works with optimism  –  many of the works that balance that line or somewhere close enough to its echo for me, always seem to feature those small star-like pinpricks of blinding optimism. in that context, some works that may give you a few sparks of ideas: upstream by mary oliver, extratransmission by andrea abi-karam, eartheater by dolores reyes, as well as no one is talking about this by patricia lockwood.
other than written works, i find that podcasts these days have such a lock on horror tinged with some of the most poetic and bright ideas of love and family i’ve come across? works like mabel, i am in eskew, the tower, king falls am, visitations w/ elijah wood and daniel noah, here be monsters, among so many others have such a wonderful symmetry between human storytelling and that cusp of the unknown  –  while not straying too far into the dark.
there are a lot of ideas and theories you could gravitate towards and see where they take you!! how exciting!! whether you start on the outskirts or tackle optimism head-on, extrapolate on idea or mind-map your way to a whole different area, i hope this range of ideas helps you find a good starting point! i wish you all the best in your lovely exploration !   ❤️
118 notes · View notes
mcytagere · 3 years
Note
gimme dem smol techno and wilbur hc’s pretty pls good sir
Your phrasing was a little ambiguous, but I’m pretty sure that you meant regressor!techno and regressor!wilbur (as opposed to r!t and cg!w), so that’s what I did! 
Regressor!Technoblade 
Usually regresses to 3-5.
His age regression is 100% involuntary and traumagenic, and he has some resentment towards it, at least until he finds a stable and loving environment in which he can work on some of his baggage.
His trust issues and angst from when he’s big usually carry over to when he’s little, at least to some extent. He’s very aware that his age regression is a vulnerability, and he makes a great effort to hide it from others.
SBI is canon in my heart, and they’re the ones that managed to A) find out about Techno’s regression, and B) help him accept and normalize it.
The people who DO manage to break down his walls a bit and get him to trust them with his little self need to be prepared for some very clingy baby.
He’s a really needy little. He’s very anxious and needs frequent praise/reassurance/expressions of affection from the people he loves in order to not have a headspace crash. 
His favorite activities are being read to, playing with play-doh or kinetic sand or other tactile things like that, and cuddles while watching a show or a movie.
He really likes having Wilbur around no matter what headspace Wilbur is in, because he’s always really nice and comforting to him and helps him feel less alone and scared.
His favorite regression buddies are George and Tubbo, but George especially. Wilbur doesn’t count because they’re brothers your honor.
Really likes bath time!
Regressor!Wilbur
Usually regresses to 6-8.
His regression is involuntary, but he doesn’t mind it.
He’s usually pretty cheerful/content when he’s little, but still mellow at baseline. 
He’s a very social little, and can usually match the energy of whoever he’s playing with, at least for a little while. He’ll go with the flow as long as there’s no outstanding factors to his mood and ‘the flow’ isn’t taking him somewhere that’s too far out of his comfort zone. 
Like I said, regressed Wilbur and regressed Techno have a very nice and mutually beneficial dynamic. Wil’s presence and upbeat-yet-calm energy help Tech feel safe, and knowing that he’s helping makes Wil happy. 
He likes hanging out with other littles, but he also likes hanging out with grown-ups! He’s like one of those kids who’s perfectly content hanging out with the adults and having a nice conversation while the other kids play with each other. 
His favorite regression activity is coloring/drawing, preferably while talking to someone else.
He’s adored by literally everyone in the SMP.
He doesn’t get upset very often, but when he does, he’s usually very quiet about it. If other people are being mean to him he’ll just let them, and if someone hurts his feelings he’ll isolate instead of getting mad. 
The only time when he really gets mad/lashes out is when someone is hurting someone who he feels protective over, usually Techno. The only time he’s ever called anyone a mean name is when Skeppy made Tech cry. 
131 notes · View notes
shortkingkirk · 3 years
Note
got any interesting Spirk headcanons?
Yes!! Well I have a couple.
1. James T Kirk is an alcoholic. Mainly cause I'm an alcoholic but. I like to do a lil movie fusion here with Georgie boy dying in the Kelvin but with the extra additional spice of Tarsus IV happening. Also, good ole jimbo is from the midwest, an area of the USA notorious for booze and alcoholism. But part of him joining starfleet was pike saying "dude, cmon. Your liver is begging you for mercy and you are so smart. Be smart." Anyway as an alcoholic I struggle with being sober, so finding a soulmate in a guy who doesnt drink but understands why people drink is so important!!! so i like to imagine when kirk starts having bad nights, when chekov's locker is lookin a lil too interesting, spock gently takes his bf and asks kirk to tell him stories about Iowa. These stories range from the villisca axe murders, to why Iowa corn is better for livestock feed than illinois corn is, that one time he drove Frank's 400 (I cant count it might only be 300) year old vintage car into a quarry bc he hadnt seen his mom in months, to sam helping him get into his first barfight, to him testing out of his grade because being born in the black truly gave this clown a galaxy brain. It's the reminder of the intricacies of life that help spock hold jim accountable and healthy :')
2. Spock and kirk are the godparents to Bones' daughter, Joanna. It was like a retroactive thing, but those two are the fun uncles that swoop in and take the kiddo for a weekend whenever bones cant bc of a medical emergency.
3. The Kirk Farm is still a working farm, where kirk gets to show spock how they test the soil, and spock immediately breaks it down into the most minute science that Kirk just basically puts the farm in Spock's name. People accuse Kirk of letting Vulcans Take Over Earth. Kirk just holds up his yields and goes "weve never had yields this massive before, I'm honoring IDIC and yall can suck my Enterprise Sized Dick" (he gets yelled at for said statement, and threatened with demotion until the United Federation of Planets learns their crops are resilient to the strain of fungus that causes the Tarsus incident)
4.) Spock is SUPER tactile when they're alone. Like. Think cat who's convinced if they dont get chin scratches They Will Die. So Jim has to learn how to do his morning and evening routines with this leech of a vulcan hanging off him. Spock could be slouched over his shoulders, maybe some fingers gripping the inside of his elbow, jim is laying in bed and getting headbutted until he runs his fingers through spock's hair, etc. This also applies to melds, which spock will sometimes initiate while Jim's dreaming (and Jim's dreams are just making out with spock on various places on the enterprise and on planets theyve visited together)
39 notes · View notes
lol-jackles · 3 years
Note
Very interested in your take on Tarantino's take (love story?) and Harvey Keitel's intent regarding Mr White and Mr Orange in Reservoir Dogs. Your posts abt Jensen improvizing Dean's super tactile touches (brushing hair etc) with Sam made me wonder. Keitel is famously method & also fond of improvizing & asking amenable costars to improvize. All the touches (carding through Orange's hair and stroking his ear before the Mexican standoff, keeping a hand on Orange after Brown dies). Was that Keitel?
I think it’s 65% Keitel and 35% Tarantino.  It’s not QT’s style to have his male characters to be physically affectionate with each other and he originally wanted a younger James Wood to play White, therefore making the two men closer in age.  So the pseudo-father-son relationship explaination by QT doesn’t fly.
Tumblr media
It’s been many years since I’ve seen this film so I’m going by memory -  the film started out with a fatally wounded Orange and going by White’s reaction I immediately assumed they’re old friends.  Turns out they’ve only known eachother for a few weeks.  Flashbacks showed us that White didn’t meet Orange until Joe started planning the diamond heist.  White knew Joe and Eddie for a long time, yet he was willing to shoot and kill both of them in defense of Orange when Joe (correctly) guessed Orange is an undercover cop.
On the surface, White believes there is honor among thieves and when Orange got shot, he was defending the defenseless and believed he was doing the right thing.  He believed anybody but Orange in the group had set them up and yet Orange was suffering the worse of it.  Now I have difficulty believing someone of White’s age and experience truely thinks there is honor among thieves.  He is way too emotionally attached to Orange for it to be a burgeoning father-son mentor relationship especially when QT had to explain their relationship in that context off-screen.  Remember kids, general audience don’t follow director’s interviews or commentaries, they go with what is on screen.
SPN fans joke that Dean Winchester has one rule for Sam and a different set of rules for the world.   Same here, White seems to have one set of rules when it comes to Orange and another set of rules for the rest of the world.
My guess Is Keitel took it upon himself (with QT’s blessing) to sell it as an unspoken love story otherwise the audience isn’t going to believe White would kill others so easily to try to save Orange whom he only knew for a few weeks. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
22 notes · View notes
hexapress · 3 years
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
The Devil’s Furnace by @hangmansradio, for @rylescoe 
Where do I even start? Oof. I am just so ecstatic that I got to bind one of my favorite fics ever, and for it to turn out so well?! Granted - hehe, get it? If not, you should head over and read this fic to find out - I technically bound this fic three times! But, I still count it as my first “book”, in all of its forms.
I read fics as I bind them. As I was constantly changing something about the typesetting in this fic, I kept reading and re-reading it, and I loved every minute of it. Hangmansradio’s incredible characterization and (teasingly) suspenseful narration is just... chef’s kiss. Every chapter’s packed with so much, and the whole story’s got something for everyone. And honestly, I think I was maybe one chapter into the story when I found myself hurriedly googling where I could get a taste of a real erotic haunted house! My search was somewhat fruitful, but that’s besides the point right now. The point is that... the Devil’s Furnace is one hot, steamy story, and I am extremely honored to have it living on my shelf now. <3 
For some binding process musings...
Typesetting this fic was so fun, especially because the premise of the book allowed me to use a really fun font (Zing Rust) I’ve been eyeing for YEARS. I also got to make a sleeve out of translucent paper! Right now, I do not have access to the tools needed to emboss or decorate my book cover papers. I am also a fan of these no-text hardcovers. But I still find that missing the title on the spine is annoying, so the next best thing? Paper spines! And paper sleeves! They’re both removable so it’s great so disguising a particularly steamy title on your shelf when needed, LOL. And it’s a fun way of using easily accessible material for elevating a book’s appearance and tactile experience. 
Fan spaces have always been intimidating for me. They still are. For a really long time, I only watched from the sidelines and not even regularly, but I finally decided to start participating. And this is my first act of participation.
35 notes · View notes
wu-sisyphus-gang · 3 years
Text
Motion Sickness Chapter 80
pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq
"How are you feeling today, Cloud?" Dr. Caulbaugh asked me. We were alone in a padded office. She had a plant in the corner that looked malnourished.
"I'm alright. Can't really complain." I responded. I stared at the tall plant.
"Oh I'm sure you could. How are you really doing? It's important."
"Fine. I suppose. Been getting into some missions lately. There are these two girls who have been taking care of me recently. Looking after me. They want to help but they're not sure how."
"Two other huntresses?"
I nodded. "Yeah."
"Two other friends?"
"We might be a bit more than friends. The three of us."
"I see. Aren't you a lucky man."
"Am I though?" I laughed a little. She looked away, a touch embarrassed.
"Yes I suppose it's maybe something to help balance out what all happened to you. Something good to come at me with rather than have everything bad." She worried the corner of her lip with her pen. "And everything is working out between the three of you."
"I think so. Except…" I gestured at the side of my head in a circular fashion to indicate my insanity.
"You're not crazy, Mr. Strife."
"Well then I'm right next to crazy, one rung above it on the ladder of sanity."
"You're too cognizant for it to be traditional psychosis. When a patient exhibits that they have no idea that they are showing symptoms of it. You're self aware of what is happening to you."
"Maybe…"
"But this relationship is working out well?" She asked.
"We had some stuff to iron out at first and get the air clear. We still are occasionally. But for the most part yeah." So far my relationship with Weiss and Ruby had been, well, it had been easy. The pieces falling together once Weiss and I talked a little about freshman year.
"Have you been able to have sex? Many patients report problems performing while on the sorts of medications we have you on."
I blushed a little. "So far it's been just fine."
"That's good news. That sort of endorphin rush can only help with depression. It can sort of clear your brain chemistry for a new wave of neurotransmitters."
I'd been kind of able to feel that. Like I was wiping away an old slate with the release. "I thought I had PTSD?" I asked.
She waggled a hand. "They often go together. Sort of a buy one get one free deal."
"But with my brain."
"It's a complex organ."
"I see…"
I looked over at her plant and thought of something else to talk about. We'd only just begun this meeting and I was already running low on topics.
"I've been thinking about getting a plant. You know? Something to take care of. It was Ruby's idea. One of those two girls. Something small and easy to take care of. Weiss, the other, was all onboard with it. I think they both think it'll be good for me."
"Been eyeing at my plant have you? I can never seem to keep any of them alive. What kind of therapist am I if I can't even keep a plant going and my patients need me for their brain?"
I laughed a little. A low chuckle. "That's how I figure mine would go. I can't even take care of myself and then I'm supposed to add something more to that. No way. Nah."
"Those are their names? Weiss and Ruby?"
I nodded. "I worry about them. I'm scared about the things that come through when I'm not paying attention while Mother assaults my subconscious. I feel like she's a shark, just waiting underneath the surface of my thoughts. And she'll spring out at some point I'll have no control over."
"Salem is constantly at your door then, so to speak. You keep calling her mother. Is that on purpose?"
"No. That keeps slipping through. No matter how hard I try that one comes through. It makes me worried about what else is slipping through the cracks on me," I said. "It's an accident. But one that I keep making."
"She is your mother though, in a way."
"Yeah but I hate her and I don't mean to call her that."
"Do you think of her as your mother?"
"At times. But for the most part I think of her as this foreign, nearly all powerful thing that has her hooks in my mind. She's no more my mother than the incubator I was grown in was."
"So she is kind of your mother."
"Kinda," I returned. "She called me her son, her child, that is. I think she thinks of me that way and it influences me."
"Do you think she loves you?" Tanya Caulbaugh asked.
I inhaled a shuddering breath. "Maybe? I have no idea. I've never really thought about that. I mostly just think about how much I hate her. And my father too."
"Merlot? Was it?"
"It was. I think I'm going to kill him if I ever meet him. Is that fucked up of me?"
"The desire to kill one's parents is not unheard of."
"Yeah but in my situation. With how I was made. Is that messed up for me to think about?" I cornered her.
"Probably less than it might otherwise be. If you grew up in a loving home then it would be different. How you were born matters to this. The things that happened to you are awful and unforgivable."
"That's what I thought…"
"Though I'd prefer it if you harbored fewer murderous thoughts. I know killing people comes up on the job but you shouldn't seek it out."
"I think about killing more than just him. There's this woman, Cinder Fall who killed my partner, Pyrrha Nikos. I want her to die too."
"Are you often consumed by thoughts of revenge like this? Between your father and this other woman it seems to be on your mind a great deal. There's this revenge piece that we're only just tapping into."
"Maybe… My friends want me to give it up. But the fact is that I'm one of the only people on the planet that can stop Cinder Fall before she strikes again. I won't say I'm doing it for a purely altruistic purpose but I am doing it for that at least in part. She'll kill people if I don't stop her and I'm one of the few that can."
"Who else could fight her? Instead of you?" She asked.
"I'm really not sure. Almost no one by themselves apart from me. I'm a menace now. I had to surrender myself to Atlas custody. They couldn't bring me in unless I wanted to. She's in a similar boat. She's very powerful. Very dangerous."
"I'm glad you decided to come in. The path you were on with the Marijuana was self-destructive."
"I miss it."
"You do? The Marijuana?"
"Yeah, I doubt the girls would appreciate it if I took it up again but I do miss it. I might not get kissed as much if that was the case."
"You're not going to use on me, are you?"
I shook my head. "Nah. They took my paraphernalia. The girls did. Besides, my word of honor is good. You've got nothing to worry about."
"That's good. I'll warn you right now that THC doesn't play well with some of the other drugs you're on. It can make things so, so much worse," she said.
"Hard to imagine worse than this," I pointed out.
"How have your hallucinations been?" She wondered.
"About the same. Maybe better. It's hard to say."
"Any auditory command hallucinations?"
"Yes."
"Any visual hallucinations?" She scribbled into her notes.
"Yep," I returned.
"And tactile?"
"You bet."
"How have the nightmares been, Cloud. I know that they were worse on the Asenapine but how about on this Vraylar?"
"They've been at my normal level."
"Your normal level is pretty bad." She tapped the corner of her lips with the pen.
"Yeah. Yeah it is," I confessed. I brushed a hand back through my hair. I scratched at my scalp a little. I hated my own weakness. In many ways I was just as weak as I'd been when I first showed up at Beacon.
"We'll corner that eventually. You have my word that it does get better. I've worked with a lot of PTSD cases and I've seen a lot of ones that were worse than yours. We can get you through this."
"We'll see, Doc."
"I think that's all the time we have for today, too. I want you to think about whether it's true that only you can bring the Cinder Fall to justice or if that's a complex you've come up with to justify it to yourself."
"Very well. I will."
pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq
It didn't take me much thought about Cinder Fall to see whether I was one of the only people that can bring her down. I was. Dr. Caulbaugh didn't know about the maidens. She didn't need to know about them and since it was something on a need to know basis I hadn't shared it.
"How did therapy go, Cloud?" Ruby asked me.
"It went good. Even though I didn't have time to practice my lines for it."
Weiss did that thing where she hit me disapprovingly but her fingers lingered at my chest. I loved that. I loved when she did that. It just made me want to say more things she'd disapprove with. "You're not supposed to 'practice your lines.' You're supposed to share just whatever with them."
"Would you be able to? Just go in raw like that?"
"Well…" Weiss trailed. "Your phrasing is a little… I could maybe…"
"See that's what I thought," I said. I took a bite out of an apple at that.
My stomach felt small but my doctors were insisting that I at least eat something like three meals a day so I was snacking a little rather than have a full meal. Hey, it was the thought that counted.
I reclined back on my bunk in Atlas Academy. My point proven.
Ruby plopped down on my legs in the bunk. She rubbed a hand up and down on my leg contentedly. "Are you coming with us to dinner?"
"I got my dinner right here." I twisted the apple at her.
"The doctors say-" Weiss started.
"-the doctors say a lot of things. I'm fuckin' tryin' here." I twisted the apple at her next and took another bite to prove my new point. "I figure I'll leave you to Yang and Blake. I'm tired of coming between your team. I'll give this evening over to them."
"Hey, you don't come between our team," Ruby said softly, still rubbing at my leg in a comforting fashion.
"It's not that I don't believe you Ruby. It's that I can't believe you," I returned. "'Sides I should spend some time trying to turn this needle into a feather."
"Is that what you're doing with that?" Weiss asked.
"Yeah. Why?" I asked.
"I just thought you liked to stare at it," Ruby muttered. She was adorable. I reached out and brushed some hair behind her ear and she leaned into my touch like a kitten. She fluttered her eyes closed and let out a little sigh. I leaned all the way up and gave her a quick kiss.
"Please just come to dinner. Let us worry about how Blake and Yang feel," Weiss said.
I looked away from her eyes. She was disarming me. Trying to pen me in. If I looked at her too hard I'd have to give in.
"Please." Ruby begged, her eyes still closed. "Please."
"You two could literally ask me to jump off a bridge like that and I'd have to."
"So you'll come?" Ruby wondered.
"Got no choice now, do I." I tapped Ruby twice on the leg to tell her to get up off of me and I pulled myself up and out of the bunk. "But if I fall behind and never transfigure the needle that's on you two."
"Pssh. Yeah. Okay." Weiss hit me with the sass.
My feet hit the ground and I gestured for them to lead the way. They did, holding hands while I walked behind them and cored out my apple.
It was a short walk to team RWBY'S room. Literally one door down, was all. It brought back some memories of my team JNPR, when there was a team JNPR, being right down the hall from team RWBY. It was a painful memory. It had its ups and downs to it but really it was just painful as well.
"Yang, Blake?" Ruby opened the door and popped her head in, swinging the door wide open. "We're headed to dinner. You wanna come with us?"
"Sure. Will-uh-Cloud be there?" Yang asked.
"Right here." I stepped into view and waved at Yang.
"How's it hanging, Cloud?" Yang politely followed up.
"Oh you know. The usual."
"For you that could be anything," Yang returned.
"It's a bit of everything to be honest," I said. Weiss bumped me with her elbow. "Mostly good at the moment though."
"Reminds me a bit of getting dinner with team JNPR, you know? We'll be right there," she said getting up and helping Blake up too. Blake looked less enthused but she was coming.
"Yeah, those were… good times…" I trailed and rubbed the back of my head.
"Cloud…" Weiss hissed.
"I'm literally doing my best." I whispered back.
I let them all march in front of me and I took up the distant rear. "Remember when Nora would demand that Ren make pancakes for her, she wouldn't eat the stuff they made for us on pancake mornings," Yang said. "Oh no. She had to have it Ren style."
I didn't much like to think about Ren and Nora. Maybe even less than I liked to think about Pyrrha and what could have been there. When she had kissed me she had meant it. My fault. All my fault.
Not that I was unhappy with my current situation. I walked behind my two girlfriends and their teammates and listened to them reminisce about times past with another team long dead.
"She always just liked him in that outfit, I thought," Weiss said as we made our way up to the dinning hall.
"I didn't think it was about the pancakes. Just Ren's attention," Ruby murmured. "She liked having his attention."
"And they never got the chance to… well you know. Figure the other person out fully," Blake said. "I'd like to say it was obvious what they felt, but it never came from their lips."
"We'll never know, now." I cut in. I realized my mistake when they all turned to look at me. "I mean Nora was asking me for advice on how to get with him. And he was asking me for the same thing. They just…" I killed them. "Ran out of time," I finished.  I tried to shake it off and come up with something less depressing to say.
Yang read me though.
"What about Pyrrha? We all knew that she liked you," Yang said. "You're quite the lucky guy looking at things like that."
"I never knew. Not until it was too late," I told her.
"Is there a story to that too?" Blake asked a touch sardonic.
We lined up and got our dinners. I tried to shake my somber mood off but couldn't quite manage it.
"She kissed me before she went and fought Cinder. Then she died."
"Cloud… your life sucks," Yang said as we sat at the table. It felt like there were three missing spots where I sat off to one side of the other four.
I looked at her in shock. "Um…"
"I'm not trying to make you feel bad or anything but you have to admit that your life does suck," Yang said quickly.
"I'm not sure whether to be offended or…"
"Not offended. You have to agree that your life so far has been a series of unfortunate events," Yang pointed out. "You got born, stuck at Beacon where you sucked, Pyrrha died, then Nora and Ren died."
"And it keeps coming," I agreed at last. "Doesn't seem like there's much I can do to get away from it sometimes. I mean I've had the occasional bright spot, all of Beacon was good, I think, but for the most part…" I trailed and shook my head. "What about you girls. It couldn't have all been easy for you either. Yang, you lost your arm for crying out loud."
"Yeah but I didn't kill my friends."
"Yang!" Weiss hissed.
"No, no. Weiss she's right. I fucked up."
"It wasn't your fault," Ruby said tenderly. She reached over to me but I rejected her touch for a moment. I didn't want the things she felt for me at that second. The purity burned me.
"Disagree. But that's not the point. It still happened to me. Is this really the first time we've all spent time together since Beacon fell? At least of those of us that remain?" I asked. At least of those of us I didn't let die, more like.
"Happy reunion," Blake muttered over her dinner.
"I'll cheers to that." Yang held out her glass. I clanked it with mine.
"So much has happened," Weiss said. "Even since that time Ren told us we had all grown so much. And of course you weren't there for that, Blake. I'm sure he would have told you that you had grown too."
"We've all changed. Some of us even changed our names," Blake murmured.
"Hard to imagine things will stay the same as they are now. I mean, I can't imagine working for Ironwood forever," I said. "Things are just going to keep changing."
"Hey, maybe you'll get some good changes out of this one," Yang cheered optimistically.
"Hey, I doubt it." I chuckled. "All things serious though I got Ruby and Weiss. How much better can I expect things to get for me? This is probably the high point of my life."
"You think something bad is going to happen?" Ruby asked.
"I know it will. That's how my life goes, up for a bit then down. Probably run into my sisters or something else awful and then caput."
"Well, family is just like that," Weiss said. I nodded but everybody else at the table shook their heads.
"Your two families are like that," Blake returned. "You leave my family out of this. My family is fantastic."
"Samesies," Yang threw in. "Yeah it's complicated but it's not hostile, well maybe not."
"I suppose we wouldn't know," Weiss murmured. "My father, well, don't even get me started."
"Same but for my momma." I held my glass to my lips. "She's such a bitch. You ever feel like literally every problem on the planet is your mom's fucking fault?" I took a long drink.
Yang laughed at that. "You're in my club on that one."
And Weiss gave a small giggle behind her hand. Blake smiled at me but Ruby just gave me that old worried look.
She reached out and put her palm on my thigh. A small comfort in a big world.
"Well not everyone has the mommy issues that you do. Some of us have our very own mom issues," Yang said.
I nearly spat out my drink. "What? What is it?" Ruby asked.
"I forgot to tell you all. I ran into Raven fucking Branwen when I was on the lamb with Neo checking out Merlot's laboratory in Anima."
"Well did you get her?" Yang asked her tone low and sarcastic.
"She teleported away before I could kill her. Sorry? Or not sorry. Whichever is best."
"Eh that's fine," Yang waved a hand. "She's bound to be slippery. Not sure if anyone will be able to catch her and put her down. She's a coward. She'd probably just run from you the next time you meet. If you run into her again, that is."
"I was sure to cut her nice and good for you, Yang."
"Oh is that why you did it?"
"Not really. I was sort of just pissed off at what I'd found in the lab. Needed a good target and she was just kinda there, I guess."
"Now that I get," Yang pointed at me with her glass hand. "Trust me on that one."
"Fair cop," I returned. Ruby was rubbing my thigh in a little circle and looking up at my face.
It felt good. Talking felt good. I was glad they dragged me out into this. I sighed and reclined. If only life could stay like this forever…
pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq
-WG
9 notes · View notes
singofsolace · 3 years
Note
My heart!!!! 💔💔💔 Uggghhhh!!! Zelda being hurt and the description of her bruising marks are making me crrrryyyy (you know why)!!!! Her terror of waking up injured and not knowing what happened to her hit so hard! And as the medicine began to fade and she felt more and more pain. I like that Lilith was empathetic and caring without being soft. It suits her role as an FBI agent that she isn’t soft, but it’s clear that she does care because she risked her job to save Zelda and then lied to stay the night so that she wouldn’t wake up alone. Not to mention, she obviously feels horrible guilt for not helping sooner. She’s so torn between wanting to help a woman in danger and also not wanting to compromise an investigation that might help get the whole gang sent to prison. Thank goodness she did step in and stop them, but I’m sure the guilt of allowing the attack to go on for so long will continue to weigh on her.
I also like that she brings just enough humour with her banter to break up the intensity, but it doesn’t change the tone. I don’t know how you always manage such a good balance even in such a dark fic.
When Zelda couldn’t form the words to ask if she had been raped, I was actually crying!! She changed the question to something she could manage and never really got her answer! The horrible weight of not knowing the details of what happened to her is still there and it’s just so heartbreaking! And then the realisation that Faustus, her own husband, was the one to order the attack!!! It’s all too much for her traumatised brain to process! It suits Zelda’s character so much that instead of thinking about Faustus being responsible her attack or accepting Lilith’s pity, she started sharply questioning Lilith and put the focus back on her. The anger and betrayal she felt at a stranger FBI agent who didn’t stop the attack earlier is easier to deal with for her than the anger and betrayal of her husband doing something so evil to her.
Zelda fearing that Lilith will leave her alone and then reaching for her hand are both such great moments that show how much comfort she receives from Lilith. And it makes so much sense that Zelda bonded to Lilith quickly! She is the one who is there for Zelda in a moment of crisis and the one who saved her in the first place. And I love that Lilith isn’t the one to start the touch, letting Zelda be the one to reach for her. She seems to clearly sense that after being so brutally attacked Zelda needs to have control over her body and who is touching it. It was a great contrast to how Zelda reacts to Marie’s more physical way of showing care. Even a gentle, kind touch meant to comfort her feels uncomfortable.
And when Lilith defended Zelda to Marie even though she was thinking the same thing about Zelda being in that area alone, it shows once again that Lilith does care. You manage to show how different Marie and Lilith are and how Lilith suits Zelda’s needs better, but without making Marie wrong. It’s a nuance that so many people miss and I always appreciate seeing how you write them!
And really, I’m just so glad that she has two strong women to protect and care for her! Especially when Faustus arrives at the hospital!!!! It’s terrifying that he knows where they took her and followed her there! But when Zelda reaches for Lilith’s hand and both Lilith and Marie promise to protect her from him, I had chills!!!! I hope you will continue this one even though I know you’re so busy! It’s just so good and I can’t wait to see this relationship develop and I really need to see the little bitch put in prison!!!
Ahhh thank you so much for this thoughtful review of by any other name! I am continuously grateful and honored to hear your thoughts on my stories.
I'm so glad you felt the banter/snarky comments never changed the tone of the piece. That's something I struggle with so much when I'm writing, and I put a lot of effort into trying to balance the light with the dark without the comedic moments seeming entirely out of place.
Portraying the differences between Marie and Lilith, while not saying either of them are "wrong," is also very important to me! Marie is a very tactile person, and so it makes sense that her "love language," if you want to call it that, is physical touch and actions, rather than words. But when you've just been through a traumatic experience, like Zelda has, it can be a bit off-putting to have a stranger touching you, even when you know it's meant to be a comforting touch. Marie isn't wrong for wanting to comfort her, it's just not the "way" of comforting that Zelda needs in that moment, from a complete stranger. It isn't until Lilith has explained what happened and Zelda realizes her husband either ordered a hit on her, or purposefully sent her to a dangerous place hoping she'd be attacked, that Zelda is ready for and now actually wants a physical touch to ground her.
(But it also has to do with the charade of pretending to be engaged. I wanted that moment to also read as Zelda finally actively participating in the "fake engagement" story, and silently thanking Lilith for it, because she unintentionally set up a plausible reason for Zelda to deny her husband access to the hospital room.)
And I'm so glad you liked the ending, with both Marie and Lilith joining forces to keep Zelda safe from Faustus. I'm a sucker for storylines where women band together to help each other, even when they don't really know each other. There's just this intrinsic sense of duty to help other women when they're in danger, you know? And Marie openly looking at Lilith like she might be con-woman was important to me, too, because at the end of the day, Lilith did lie and violate Zelda's rights by pretending to be her fiancé, even though it was coming from a place of "goodness."
Thank you again for always supporting my stories and helping me grow as a writer with your lovely reviews!
12 notes · View notes
silver-wield · 4 years
Note
‪For real Cloud and Tifa’s skinship is so unexpected yet unsurprising (for us who accept canon)! Him being forward in that way and her being welcoming of it is so telling. Coming from a Japanese perspective, it speaks to the true nature of their relationship. They are in love, your honor! ❤️ (Even if they can’t fully grasp it yet lol) I’m so excited to see how their relationship develops, including the rough parts, in the next discs! ❤️‬
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
They're so damn cute together and I love how they balance each other out, like one falls and the other is there to catch them. Cloud’s having a tough time and Tifa's right there with the support and concern, even if he tries to act like he's okay. After the platefall, Cloud wanted to comfort her and then did. He's always right on time to save her ❤️
I'm actually surprised how tactile they are with each other, especially Cloud. My sister was like "Pour me a drink whenever he touches Tifa, I'll die of alcohol poisoning." 🤣🤣🤣
I wasn't actually expecting that much touchy feely from them cause I know the devs have different cultural views on that, so I think it's a huge hint they went that far to show Cloti by having Cloud initiate touch between them so often.
I'm excited for deepening Cloti relationship in part two and sending my sister to have her stomach pumped lol
88 notes · View notes