#using that brush to make it look more “anime” was hell btw
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IM BACK WITH MORE WHITE LOTUS BINGHE JAPAN EDITION BC I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 💕🪷💚
and some other bunhe sketches to warm up and draw some more
The prettiest boy that ever existed, I want to bite him until he squeaks
#svsss#人渣反派自救系统#bingqiu#luo binghe#svsss fanart#shen qingqiu#mxtx#heeey im alive sorry i was just busy and depressed#and broke but im working on all that#anyways enjoy the binghes pls i love him so much im using my brainrot about him ti fight my artblock#because he is everything to me#my baby my princess my shoujo girlie trapped in a stallion novel#using that brush to make it look more “anime” was hell btw#but i kinda want to make fake screenshots now#to cope
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'NIKES' - C.S
synopsis - “we’re not in love, but i’ll make love to you.”
warnings! - profanity, angst, angst, and more angst, not a lick of happiness i swear, slight jealousy, crying.
A/N - oh my fucking god, only took me a fucking month to write this, smh. but, totally worth it. get your tissues ready! btw, i hurt my own heart w this. also, vera, chris' girlfriend is an oc i just came up w on the spot. another thing, i tried to refrain from using y/n in just about all of these to make it seem like you were in there instead of like using y/n or a name, but i hate writing from 2nd pov (you, your, yours).
!3rd POV!
Chris holds the stuffed animal in front of his face and speaks in his funny voice.
“Ooh! Bed time!” The girl laughs at his antics and grabs the stuffed animal from his hands, placing her hand on his face and pushing him back.
“Hey!” Chris giggles.
“You know the drill, no grabbing Mr. fuzzy wrinkles.”
“That’s his name?!” He shakes his head in a joking manner.
“That’s goofy as hell.”
“You were the one who named him!” The girl laughs at the memory of Chris naming the unicorn back in 4th grade.
“I- ! No I didn't!” Chris denies it completely and laughs with his best friend.
“Yes! Yes you did! Ask matt!” She flings her head back as she laughs even more at Chris’ face and his denial.“I am not asking shit! I did NOT name that!” He laughs in disbelief before snatching the unicorn out of her hand.
“Hey!” She shouts at Chris as gets off her bed and walks around the room, taunting his best friend by holding the stuffed animal above his head.
“Get back here!” She gets off her bed and chases after him, eventually tackling him down onto her bed.
“Bitch.”
----
-Present day-
!Reader’s POV!
I sigh as I hear the triplets’ front door close and the voices of Chris and Vera giggling as they walk up the stairs.
Matt turns his head to me with a sympathetic look. I just shake my head.
“How’d date night go?” Matt speaks as he gets up from the couch and walks into the kitchen, grabbing a soda.
“Great! We went to the beach after dinner.” Chris laughs out.
“Why are you two wet?!” Nick comes down the stairs with his headphones and his glasses on, carrying the plate he brought up earlier when me and Matt made dinner.
“Are you deaf? He just said they went to the beach.”
“Well, I had my headphones on fucknuts.” Nick argues back with Matt as he sets his plate in the sink and grabs his 5th Dr.Pepper from the fridge.
“Whatever.” Matt rolls his eyes and walks back to the living room, sitting in his spot next to me, draping his arm over my shoulder.
I steal a glance at Chris and Vera one last time as they walk to Chris’s room, me and Chris meeting eyes for a split second before he disappears down the stairs.
“It’ll be alright. I know it kills you to see them together.” Matt rubs my shoulder in sympathy.
I shake my head softly and look down at my lap.
“It’s fine.”
----
-5 months ago-
!3rd POV!
“This is Vera!” Chris grins widely as he introduces his girlfriend to his brothers and best friend.
He feels bad for Vera, mainly because he’s basically using her to get over his massive crush on his best friend.
“Nice to meet you all. Chris is always talking about the three of you.” Vera chuckles and reaches her hand out to shake, but Matt and Nick just hug her instead, surprising her slightly. She brushes off the surprise as the triplets best friend reaches her own hand out, her face expressionless other than the obviously fake smile on her lips, one only Matt knows is fake, and shakes Vera’s.
Matt senses the awkwardness and tension rising so he speaks up.
“How long have you known Chris?” Matt moves to stand in front of his best friend, knowing she’s a little distraught by the sight of Chris with his girlfriend.
“About 5 months. We started talking in May and it just went from there.” Vera chuckles and grabs Chris’s hand, squeezing affectionately.
The triplet’s best friend clears her throat and speaks.
“Well, it was nice to meet you Vera, but I have to go. My mom.. She uh…she… wants me home, I’ve been over here for a week.” She said the first excuse that came to mind, hoping it sounded believable.
Chris’ face drops slightly, upset that his best friend, and long time crush, is leaving, not even 5 minutes after meeting his girlfriend.
“Oh, uh.. Okay.” Chris tries to mask his sadness with the love he has for Vera, which isn’t real, but should be.
“You sure?” Nick turns to her as she walks down the hall to Matt’s room to grab her bag.
She just nods as she opens the door to his room; “Yeah, I don’t want to be in your guys’ hair for too long.” That was the last thing the guys heard before she disappeared behind the walls of Matt’s room.
In truth, she was heartbroken. She’s always had a crush on Chris, for as long as she could remember.
She shuts Matt’s door behind her and sinks down to the floor, covering her face as she tries to fight back the tears stinging her eyes.
She hears her phone, which is on Matt’s bed, go off.Standing up, she walks to it and sniffles before sitting on the bed and grabbing it.
Ratty matty: are you ok?
Me: idk matt, am i?
Ratty matty: sorry
She locks her phone and tosses it on the bed before standing up and shoving her clothes in her bag, whilst wiping whatever tears fell from her eyes.
Outside in the kitchen, she can hear them all talking, occasionally laughing.
Why can’t I just be happy for him?
----
-Present day-
!3rd POV!
Chris kisses his girlfriend once more before she’s out the door.
Oddly enough, his best friend had stuck around, and wasn’t glued to Matt’s side.
He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t jealous with how much she hangs out with Matt, but he can’t worry about that, he has a girlfriend.
Granted his girlfriend is basically a rebound to get his crush off his mind, but it’s failing. Miserably.
“You alright?” He cocks a brow at his best friend as he plops on the couch next to her.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” He’s known her long enough to know that’s bullshit. She’s not fine.
His face softens slightly, “You sure?”
“Yeah, just leave it alone.” She shakes her head, never tearing her eyes from her phone, playing some game on it.
“If you insist.” He shrugs and gets up from the couch, walking into the kitchen, and opening the fridge.
“Soda?” He looks over his shoulder to her, meeting her eyes for a second before she looks away, nodding.
“Yeah, please and thank you.” He nods and grabs two pepsi’s before walking back to the living room, placing the other pepsi in her open hand.
She sets her phone in her lap to open her pepsi.
They sit in silence, other than the sound of their phones, for as long as it takes for Chris to finish a pepsi. Even after that, it’s silent.
The house dimly lit and Matt and Nick either in their rooms or just somewhere, but they couldn’t care.
And at this moment, things felt normal.
Just sitting there, in silence. With each other. Like they used to do.
They might be destined as lovers in another universe, but not this one.
And that’s the worst part, for both of them.
Tags ! ♡
@dwntwn-strnlo @ssturniolo @strniolo @20nugs @prettysturniolo @mxqdii @thetriplets3 @slaysturniolo @gwenlore @opheliaofficial07 @gabbylovesreading @luvsturniolo @itsaaliyah2 @strniolosworld
If you want to be added to the list, all you have to do is ask ! ♡
I love you all !
And I hope you all have a good day and / or night ♡
#l writes!#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo x reader#𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙙𝙚
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hxh thots as of ep 51 (it's very good) i liked the hunter exam part well enough but this is truly excellent, the extreme violence and heightened stakes w the bodies piling up is way more my speed. now i'm fully watching it for real because i like it, and not like learning abt the genre and doing podcast homework
1. speaking of the podcast: so apparently Janine's reaction to Kurapika's specialist ability was "oh this is bullshit!" and i agree. however i am not as upset by the bullshit that it is as i thought i might be. him getting explicit OP rage powers made me less🙄 at him being the archetype that he is.
maybe bc it fits so well into the show's previous explanations of how nen works and how it applies to his circumstances (bc like. the guy who wrote the circumstances for him made the nen wheel lmao) also the death pact really works for me bc it is so very literal. like the pointing out and making explicit of him saying "i am a honor-bound rage-powered avenger and i will do a magic spell to supercharge my revenge powers by keeping a solemn vow limiting their use under penalty of death; the chains i use to tie my enemies into hell also bind my life" - i think that moves us away from unreflected cliche into sth deliberate
i got spoiled on Kurapika mastering all forms when i was looking up the nen user types, but i assumed he got there by like training bc he is the discipline guy. and for a minute i was like, aw he just got it by magic :c but like no, it's actually good that he got it by narrative symbolism magic. also i think bc Gon and Killua are the most special little boys in the world, i don't begrudge Kurapika being like an acknowledged in-universe rarity, and i like that he's older than them and a secondary protagonist at that as well.
final Kurapika thought, i don't like his character design unfortunately. the yellow hair grey eyes combo is unattractive and he has the textbook shitty anime haircut. basically everyone on the show looks a little goofy and characterful - in a way that makes Killua (and maybe some others) stand out as angelic btw, but sth abt Kurapika grates, i think bc it's just kinda ugly but very plain. no points of interest, except maybe his gay little earring that is rarely visible.
2. love the balancing and rebalancing of power. the mechanics and layers of what happened with Uvogin, how threatened Gon and Killua were by the troupe, Killua's skinned ankles
3. love the machinations, the interweaving, Killua figuring out who the chain bastard is, the assassins being hired by the mob
4. love the emotional machinations as well. Gon and Killua's puppy love (it's real and gay to me), and especially - as pointed out by Keith on the podcast, Killua doing mild bullying behaviors the way kids will with their friends that Gon is just not susceptible to. Killua's emotional struggles in general, the different types of jealousy (are you better than me? do you like someone else?), the controlling impulse, it's all very real and resonant lmao. Killua is the least interesting when he's freaking out abt being turned into a killer with no internal life by his family, and the best when trying to brush off Gon paying attention to another kid. i'm an adult, so im not negging my crush by drawing a power chart in the sand with a stick but like. i get it lmao.
love the horrible gay clown as well, it is homophobic but i like his sexual menace, him living fully for his violence fetish, faggot death wish and then some
love the glimpses into what's up with the troupe and their relationships in general. Franklin the fucked up big guy has some pretty insightful things to say about people's relationships. there might be something to Chrollo, until now he was just like a generic boss man (though very beautiful, and i was kinda surprised and thrilled to see him get in on the action himself and not just give orders from the lair) but he weeps for Uvogin?
5. Indoor Fish 😻
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I'm about to go on a little rant here (there may be some minor anime spoilers ahead), so bear with me but it's another thing that's been bothering me, and I figured I'd post it here cause why not *shrugs* XD
Here lately one of my brother's have been ranting and raving about how anime especially is extremely kid-like, stupid to be into, ridiculous, and how much he hates it and so on; and that's perfectly fine he's entitled to his viewpoint, but at the same time I wanna show him all the evidence that he's wrong about anime being "kid-like" and I point you to the example shown above.
Ya'll know Full Metal don't ya? XD and if you don't here's a little brief explanation as to what the anime is about, (minor spoilers ahead so be warned, it's nothing to big) in a world where Alchemy exists and is used to extremes brother's Ed (yellow-haired character) and his brother Al attempt to bring back the mother they lost some amount of years prior to the series, and that is a big NO NO for the world, the end result? wellllll not to spoil it to much, but things get pretty graphic for the brothers, and in turn it changes their lives forever, so right off the bat-- we've kind of treated to an extremely graphical attempt at the brother's trying to bring back their dead mom, Full Metal also includes "child soldiers" "abuse" "genocide of thousands" "murderers" and that's some of the minor plot points to the anime, my word does it get so much more insane (those of you who are into anime I'd certainly recommend it)
Now allow me to show a little more of what would be considered a "sillier" anime
Here we have bungou stray dogs, again it's a pretty basic premise-- in a world where people have certain abilities, a group of individuals form their own agency to try to stop evil around the world, and many of the character's are pretty goofy, and eccentric in their own ways (some of them like moaning and groaning about the most childish things) and or playing off stuff as comedic effect, but I ask you turn your attention to the character of the far left in the brown coat "Dazai" as he's known. (MILD SPOLIER ALERT, but this happens within like the first five minutes of the anime, so take it as you want XD)
Right off the bat, we meet Dazai in the anime when he's trying to drown himself, and we learn just as quickly he is a suicidal character, seeing no point and or reason to continue to live in a world to the point that many of the man character's just kind of brush it off as this point, he is a MAIN CHARACTER in the anime and thus is thrown in the audience's faces time and time again, the show itself has an overall more "cheerful" tone at times, but delves into topics such as the underground city, mob hits, kills, abuse, and so on-- AGAIN I SAY anime is meant for kids? I think not!~ (again I'd recommend this anime to other anime lovers btw!)
Need I say anything about this anime? XD
EVEN this one!
Looks all happy cheery joy joy right? haha, WRONG!
YES, it's a little more "kid-friendly" then others, but at the same time it still holds elements meant for OLDER AUDIENCES, the basic premise being Iruma (the blue-haired character in the center) is SOLD I repeat (not kidnapped er...not really at least?) SOLD by his parents to a DEMON LORD and forced away from his human life into a world filled with demons, now thankfully, said Demon Lord is very sweet with him, loves and or adores him; BUUUT
If any of the demons discovered that he is a human they will DEVOUR him alive, so he has to live out his new life in basically HELL under the guise of being a demon all because mom and dad were like "ehh fuck it let's sell him to a demon" not only that, but Iruma struggles with trying to fit into the new school he is forced to attend, and yes he makes friends along the way and does better himself with some classmates, but at the same time he finds himself on the business end of some nasty character's.
And take a look at this anime.
(SPOILERS AHEAD)
Teenager loner kid is transported to the world of his dreams in a fantastical wonderful world filled with hot elf girls, maids, dragon people, basically think gamer teen finds himself in a game-- overall he's pretty excited, given that his previous life, he was a shut-in loner, who didn't have any sort of friends and felt like a disappointment, his joy only increases when he meets the lovely elf girl on his right, all happy and cheerful, bright sunshine and rainbows! how is this an anime not suited for kids you may ask?
MAJOR SPOILER TERRITORY AHEAD *but you could always also read this info if you read the premise of the show*
well... cute elf girl is looking for something, and she asks the teen for help to find it; together they go on a search, and long story short; both find themselves brutally murdered by an unforeseen force, and just as the boy is dying, he holds the elf girl's hands, and
poof
he's back, he's standing at the marketplace he had found himself earlier, with everyone not having any sort of memory of what had happened, although he remembers it, he remembers the shear agonizing pain of getting his stomach slashed open, and the assailant playing with his innards as he slowly bled to death, he REMEMBERS each time he dies, and time and time again it begins to happen to him as he tries to make the lives of others around him better. SOME OF THEM IN EXTREMELY GRAPHICAL WAYS (again though one of my fave animes XD)
so I'll say it again
ANIME IS FOR KIDS? um...no.
Thanks for coming to my ted talk XD
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Sammy- An Intro
By: J
aka “wait j has ocs?”
this uh actually was more of a test to see if i could sit down and write tbh, it isnt really all that intresting. at all.
i uh, you guys will never guess what the name sammy/samuel is to me! like actually probably never 💀
if you cant tell, im taking the “project onto ur ocs” very literally rn.
gen info at the end.
———————
sitting at a desk, there is a man, not short, not tall, not dull- but not bright.
‘sammy’ he assumes his name to be, its whats wrote on everything.
The weak pink and purple glow of the lava lamp- certainly not befitting of such a man- illuminating some of his desk.
1 in the morning, staring at his laptop, messages between him and ‘someone special’
(red is sammy)
“would it be ok then?”
“sure, if thats what you want dear”
“alr then”
“when do i start working on it?”
“uhuhhhh ill send u the stuff when its time”
“alr alr”
he knew he was no animator- barely an artist, if you could even call him that.
he still didnt understand just how he got tangled up with such a person, he hadnt talked to anyone in years.
—————————
sammy opened his eyes, firstly noticing the cold sweat on his body.
it has been 6 years since then, and yet he still has nightmares about it.
15:00. the clock on the far wall read 3 pm, washed in blue light.
sighing, he shoved himself from his bed and threw on a t-shirt, gray, heavy. he thought of checking his phone but, he didnt want to be bothered with anyone today.
October 15. in a way, he dreaded it. the day everything went wrong.
The day he was born.
for all of his life, it had been ignored, in a way, he knew he /wanted/ to celebrate it, but found it to be, in his own words, useless.
He stared in the mirror, semi brushing his hair with his right hand, looking at his own reflection, something he loathed with a passion. sighing once again, he grabbed a lighter and cigarette box and headed out side.
he put the fag between his lips and lit it, shoving the lighter back into his pocket and taking a drag off of the stick. he knew he should stop, hes known since he was a kid, and yet, hes still smoked for 12 years.
he stood in solace, only shaking slightly, only truly moving to take another hit off the cigarette.
around 6 minutes he crumbled up the cig, before putting it back into the box, he would dispose of it properly later, for now, he had to work on things.
—————————
sitting down at that same desk- now washed over with blue light instead of pink- he picked up a tablet, before propping it up (LOOK IDK I USE FUCKING GLUE BOTTLE LEAVE ME ALONEEEEE), that project for his so called ‘dearest’, they stopped talking so long ago, and yet, he wouldnt stop working on it, sammy wasn’t superstitious per se, nor religous, but, it hadnt left his mind for years, haunting him constantly. he was never given any direction, it was supposed to be a group project, hell he didnt even know if the project had /ever/ been finished. he didnt even know what part he was supposed to make.
so he did the only logical (to him) thing,
animate all of it.
he had never planned on becoming an animator, not even an artist, but it drove him mad.
for two years, constantly redoing scenes, redrawing frames, everything, he swore to himself that hed never stop until it was good enough, and that, he made sure of.
——————-
gen info/ ref for myself bc man ill never remember this shit!
Samuel/Sammy, male, 22, born 15 oct 1987 (present day 2009), ‘right hand dominate’, black hair, pale ass motherfucker doesnt get any sunlight besides smoking sometimes basically fucking pale as shit.
idk abt height and shit yet, have fun with this ig??? btw didnt look over this in the slighest, sorry for any typos.
#j writes badly#YOULL NEVER GUESS WHO THIS IS REFRENCING!#(its the author. its the fucking author.)#jhhbdndjdbenf i have alot of things to do#hooooo boy i wonder jf ill actually ever use my ocs tbh!#uggbhhdndn pls ignore this#“then why dont you post it pribately” SHUT THE FUCK UP#bc i cannot go insane alone 🥰 hope this helps#uhggg ill shut up now i gotta do shit
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SAGAU with a God reader who controls the Light? 🤔 I love this AU btw and I LOVE your writing!!! Thank you!!!
❝SAGAU w/ who controls light ❞
‣ Note! I made it so reader had only gained their light controlling abilities after they got in Teyvat and the characters help them control it! Hope you don't mind! And I'm sorry for the two month delay... Btw @mikachuchu HERE
✎...Includes: A lot x Gender neutral reader!
❬Information: A bit of crack, slight manipulation, yandere themes, cult ❭
Intro: Being considered as a god in a world of a game you once played was surely unexpected. As far as you were concerned you weren't someone special. You lived a pretty tame and normal life. But not in this world you aren't.
Of course not only did you become a god in a blink of an eye, it seems that you've gained an ability for yourself as well! How neat.
But the question is... how do you control it?
Ah well, fear not for your beloved acolytes are more than happy to help you!
More under the cut!
Your ability came as a surprise, only gaining it after a few months of being transported in Teyvat.
The ability to control light wasn't the power you expected. Out of all 7 elements in Teyvat, light certainly wasn't part of it.
You expected gaining a power or two considering you are a God. And logically that ability would have something to do with one or all of the seven elements in Teyvat. But hey, beggars can't be choosers.
You may have not gained any ability connected to the 7 elements— much to the Archon's dismay (the chance of gaining some bragging rights was swiped lol) but light did however make you unique.
Which only further proves who you truly were.
And gaining an ability was cool and all. BUT How in the hell do you control it???
You didn't expect having powers would be hard. Well to be fair you didn't expect it to be easy either but you didn't expect it either to be this hard. Those shit you see in anime and manwhas lied to you.
But fret not for your dear acolytes are more than happy to help you! After all, they'd swipe any chance they can get just to spend some time with you. Ei mostly gets the most time since she's practically the only one closest to light and maybe Albedo too but the others might try and butt in. (and by others I mean everyone)
But even with their help you still can't seem to quite grasp it, you can't even count how many times you've almost accidentally blinded your acolytes (Childe and Kaeya mostly) whenever you try and do some little tricks with you light ability.
Of course they'd usually just brush it off so that you won't worry, playing it cool and using excuses. And most of those excuses are extremely stupid.
"Oh my god, Kaeya are you okay?!" "it's alright your grace my eye needed some light anyways"
Like,,, what??? His...eye needed light? Huh??
Or it could go like this
"Childe? Oh my god I'm so sorry" "Haha, your grace! No need to be so worried! I'll take this as training for my eyes!" he says trying to ignore the pain
Like Childe no, sweetheart your eyes are already dead looking as it is. Well on the bright side maybe the light in his eyes will come back if you continue doing that 💀
You have to refrain from using your powers for some time since you were scared that you might hurt Kaeya's non eye patched eye lmao.
Despite them saying that it's alright and you don't need to feel guilty. You still do. So in order to compensate for your mistakes you usually just coddle them up, spoiling them with your attention, and spending some time with them!
This usually starts a lot of jealousy from the rest of the harem. Some of them might even purposely try and get themselves hit with your light in order to be pampered by you.
It hurts as hell and they feel guilty for tricking you but it's all worth it when they finally have you all to themselves.
Some of them might even try and gaslight / guilt trip you into giving them more attention (Kazuha and Ayato ). Going as far as whining about how their eyes reaaaaaalllyyyyy hurt and how you should definitely pamper them (Venti)
"Your grace my eyes reaaaaaally hurt, can I get a kiss to ease the pain?"
It worked.
On the other hand there are other character that could or might manipulate/ guil trip you into pampering them too albeit unintentionally (Thoma or Diluc). You might only overhear them talking about how their eyes hurt. And how they're having a hard time seeing. And because of that you would feel inclined to pamper them in order to compensate for your stupidity mistake.
And well if these incidents continue any further (purposely or not) then you're pretty sure a lot of people in Teyvat would be wearing eye patches at this point.
Well it's not like they'll care anyways. They'd be more than willing to sacrifice their eyes—or eye in some cases if it means being able to spend a day or two with you. Masochists
It takes quite some time for you to perfectly grasp the way of the light (lol) but when you do, it calls for a celebration!
The Archons might even suggest having your own vision spread amongst the people of Teyvat! Or maybe delusions like what the Tsaritsa did. Of course that depends on you, whatever you do they'd support it.
And if you chose the latter and only gave a few of the acolytes your vision then you'd better expect a whole lot of jealousy coming your way
#SAGAU#sagau x reader#Genshin sagau#Genshin impact#yandere genshin impact x reader#self aware genshin#Genshin impact x reader#yandere Genshin impact#yandere genshin#Genshin self aware#ei#Albedo#childe#thoma#venti#ayato#ei x reader#albedo kreideprinz#albedo x reader#kaeya alberich#kaeya alberich x reader#venti x reader#diluc ragvindr#diluc ragvindr x reader#thoma x reader#ayato x reader#genshin cult au#genshin headcannons#god! reader#Genshin cult
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Hi first of all I’m in love with your gifs and your coloring 💖 , may I ask how you did the typography on your Peter Parker set with the red coloring? Thank you so much in advance! 🧡
hiiiiiiii you've made my entire week, just so you know 🥺🥺❤️ and yes! bear with me because it's my first ever walk-through/tutorial/whatever you wanna call it lmao SO pardon the screenshots if they're wack 💀 i'll put it all under the cut, hope it makes sense & if it doesn't don't hesitate to send me an ask like tf was that you rambled and made zero sense, i'd probably agree with you lol i’m basing this off of these two gifs i’ve done where the text is “revealed” by movement of a subject in the foreground.
text reveal in a gif!
so first off, i use video timeline in PS as opposed to frame animation timeline; hence, if you use frame animation to make your gifs i'm not sure if this will translate over exactly the same and i do apologize if that's the case!
i've done this twice now & love it because it's actually way easier than i ever imagined it to be 😂 what it boils down to is creating a layer mask that is not locked to your text layer & changing said position of that mask at various time points/keyframes of your gif!
first, create your text layer with whatever font, drop shadow, gradient overlay, blending setting, etc. that you prefer. it should be your top layer of the psd & you'll start with something like the image on the left. then you'll add a layer mask while selecting your text layer (the white rectangle with a cut-out circle in the middle at the bottom), your layer panel should now look like the image on the right.
now it's time to paint your layer mask! depending on the intricacy of the mask, i'll mess with the diameter/size of the brush but otherwise i typically use around 70% hardness as my settings. using the black brush (while selecting the layer mask as shown above) you'll want to "erase" aka mask the part of the text that is on top of peter's face since we're having his head movement "reveal" the text. if you need to see what you're painting the shortcut to make the layer mask visible to you is "shift+\" (for mac at least lmao). i included my mask settings as well - granted this is just for text layers. i use ~30px for the feathering when i’m masking for any kind of overlays/coloring/etc.
once you've got your layer mask painted & primed you're ready to get to the fun (read: more time-intensive) part. the next step will be crucial to the process, if you don't do it or forget to, it'll quite literally never work & instead just frustrate the hell out of you. you've got to unlock the layer mask from the layer itself. as in, see that little chain link in between T and the layer mask box? yeah? click it!!! unlock that bitch!!! hit the jackpot!!! discover things you've always dreamed of!!! (this works for any layer mask on any layer btw, it is my secret weapon i'm obsessed i will forever unlock that bitch anyways moving on). so now you should have a painted layer mask (i chose to make it visible for the screenshot) & an unlocked layer mask (i chose to show a before & after for this), in the end your layer panel (not your timeline panel) should look like the following.
the next thing is to make that mask move with purpose. we’re going to essentially tell it where we want it to be at specific time points. when you mark those keyframes, the mask will move itself as fast or as slow as it needs to in order to get from its previous location at whatever keyframe to its new location at the next keyframe. so now we’ll be working in the timeline panel - like i said, i use video timeline, not frame animation, it’s what i taught myself ps with so outside of very very specific things, i always stick to video timeline.
you’ll want to scroll to your text layer and hit the down carrot on the far left in order to bring up a dropdown list of customizations (you’ll notice there’s a lot of others things you can make text do - like change the warp aka wiggle or change the style aka seamlessly morph to a different color). we’re focusing on the “layer mask position” (which folks if you’re following along, is also how you you can make your coloring stay in the background even if your subject moves significantly in the foreground!). i typically start at the beginning of my timeline and work my way through the gif. i’ll want the layer mask to be “visible” so i can see where it’s moving as i go.
since everything should be prepped correctly and in the right spot, you’ll start by hitting that little diamond to the left of “layer mask position” and a new point should pop up on your timeline to the right - that indicates where the layer mask is on the overall canvas. now, take your time cursor bar thing and move it along the timeline to see your gif (and peter’s head position) progress. depending on the amount of movement you may only have a few keyframe points needed or you may have a lot (similar to this particular gif). anytime there is significant movement, you will need to move your layer mask which will automatically create a new keyframe. this means you need to have your move tool (shift+v) on and layer mask square selected. placing of keyframes does take some practice, you’ll get the hang of how fast it takes the mask to move to a certain place & not necessarily need a keyframe at every. single. frame. that would be exhausting. sometimes for jerkier movements you’ll need to be more exact, and other times you can let the gif do the work and have the mask glide into position in time with peter’s head (or whatever is revealing/hiding your text layer).
essentially the point is this: scroll to the next pertinent position on your gif. ensure your layer mask is selected & you’re using the move tool. move just the layer mask to where it needs to go. a new diamond point should appear on the timeline signaling a new keyframe for the layer mask’s position. rinse, repeat until you’ve made it through the entire gif. then you get to “hide” the layer mask again with shift+\ and play your gif through to see how you did lol. see if the text reveal is smooth or if there’s parts that go too fast, too slow, or are off in terms of what it hides where.
you can click and drag your diamond points if need be as well! they aren’t set in stone if it’s easiest to adjust that way. typically ps will also “show” how the mask is moving if you slowly drag your timeline cursor along and have the mask visible, sometimes that can be helpful when fine-tuning your mask position.
i think that’s that! hopefully this made enough sense & wasn’t too rambly or like just plain nonsense. i wasn’t sure your ps level anon so i tried to explain every step, please do not take offense if you knew half of this already!! feel free to send follow-up questions, or if you see something else you’re curious about (not that i think i’m like. the shit at ps & gif-making lmao. i’m not. but i’m happy to help if i can!)
#ask#anonymous#ps asks#this was actually kinda fun???#and maybe way more in depth than the anon meant but listen#i went all in#can't stop me now#photoshop tutorial
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𝒍𝒐𝒇𝒕 𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒄
summary ─ “let’s go back to fucking,” he whispered, licking a fat line on your neck, nipping on the flesh. “miss your body, baby, lemme make it sing under me again.”
pairing ─ fuckboy!bucky barnes x reader
warnings ─ smut, +18, angst, asshole bucky, dirty talk, rough sex, wall sex, biting/marking, pet names, bucky tasting from his own medicine (a little), language, bucky is a manipulative pos btw, reader calls herself “stupid”
a/n ─ i didn’t wanna promise anything just in case if i didn’t write, but here i am with the second part. thank you so much for all the comments you left on the part one, i hope you like this one, too! please leave comments again if you do! thank youuu <333 it’s a long one y’all just a heads up!
p.s.: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 4K FOLLOWERS. I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU SO MUCH. YOU MEAN A LOT TO ME. 💘💘💘💘
the (after) party [part one]
It’s been a month since that night at the party, and you didn’t have a time to focus on yourself because of all the college work you suddenly had. All the exams and deadlines had hit you almost at the same time, so you were swept with papers and notes.
Today was the first night you absolutely had nothing do. Your roommate was out because she was celebrating… something. You had no plans, so you decided to just have an off day where you lay on your couch and watch some stupid movies.
Three hours later had found you on your couch, sprawling comfortably with snacks in your hands. You were watching Tangled, the movie reminding you why you loved animations. The colors were vibrant, it was easy to follow and it didn’t have any of those very deep meaning messages. You knew you couldn’t take one right now if there was any.
You sighed deeply as you paused the movie. Standing up, you gathered the empty snack packs and takeout boxes. Just as you threw them into the trashcan, you heard a strong knock on your door. You frowned, it was almost 1AM in the morning. You slowly made your way towards the door and looked outside from the peep hole.
Bucky was right outside your door.
“I know you’re home,” he said, “Open the door.” You didn’t budge instead you continued to watch him. “Please.”
“What do you want?” You asked him without opening the door. His face was the last face you’ve wanted to see, and to think he was standing right outside your door was making all the hair on your body to rise.
“To talk,” he replied, voice muffled.
“We don’t have anything to talk about,” you said and walked away. You weren’t ready to face with him, yet. These past weeks you’ve kept yourself busy with school, didn’t have enough time to digest the facts that he cheated on you and used your body for his own pleasure, so if you were to open the door, you were going to do something stupid.
“C’mon,” he grunted. You heard him knock again. “Please, just a talk and I’m gonna leave, I swear.” You didn’t say anything. You decided to wash the dishes that have been piling up in the sink in order to ignore him better. “I’ll start singing if you don’t let me in, I mean it, Y/N.” You exhaled angrily.
How dare he to come to your door at 1AM and demand you to open your door? Seething, you grabbed the sponge and started scrubbing at the plate in your hand with your all might.
“Y/N…” You heard him calling out to you but didn’t care. “Open the fucking door, Y/N.”
You couldn’t believe that he still had the balls to show up on your doorstep after what he did to you. Catching him with one of the girls from your class, all naked and moaning mess in the bed you frequently shared, had hurt you badly. Your friends had always told you not to fall in love with him, but it was easier said than done. You knew that he was getting around even before you started dating, you knew it. After hanging out longer than you assumed you would, you thought he might have changed and maybe you had a little bit of a part in the change he went through. So, you started dating and fell in love with him.
A big fucking mistake was what you did.
Assuming that he saw you as his girlfriend was one of the many little mistakes you’ve done. Apparently, you were just hanging out to him, there weren’t any dating in the middle, so he had been fucking girls all around.
Come to think of it, you shouldn’t have felt this hurt; you weren’t dating, you weren’t anything explicit. Yeah, you were fucking frequently, were always together at some place, let it be a bar or the cafeteria. Wherever he was, you were there, and wherever you were, he was there.
Bucky said that you weren’t dating, just fucking, but everyone except him thought that you were.
Then, there was this falling in love with him part. You were blinded, you ignored when he said you were just fucking and not dating. You knew it meant that he had been seeing other girls, but you ignored it because you loved him. You continued to ignore it until you caught him with one of them.
“Y/N, come on,” he said. You dropped the plates and sponge in your hand and went to your door. “I wanna talk, come on, plea─” You yanked the door open.
“What the fuck you possibly might wanna talk about?” You sneered. “You said we weren’t dating, that we were just fucking, so what is it that you wanna talk so fucking badly?” Bucky narrowed his eyes. His steel blue eyes were assessing your anger contorted face with large pupils. He faintly smelled like cigarettes and beer. “I’m waiting.” You heard him growl lightly and then, you were grabbed by throat and dragged inside with him. He slammed the door close.
“That is exactly what I wanna talk about,” he hissed. He bodily plastered you against the wall and caged you under his big body. You tried not to react, but it was hard when your body had been missing the hell out of him. Your heart was beating fast and your lungs had stopped working.
You always forgot how sexy and dangerous he looked when he was angry and turned on.
“Let’s go back to fucking,” he whispered, licking a fat line on your neck, nipping on the flesh. “Miss your body, baby, lemme make it sing under me again.” You tried to swallow, his hand around your throat making a bit harder, but you were loving it.
“You fucked every girl in the campus already?” You spit out. His hand increased its pressure, and you made a gurgling sound. Chuckling as black spots slowly appearing in your sight, you looked at him, ignoring the pounding in your head. “You c-came… back… w-with y’r… tail betw’n y’r legs.” Bucky snarled, leaning in dangerously close. His nose was touching cheek, you could see his eyelashes and feel his lips moving against your neck.
“You seem to love it whenever I came back, love,” he whispered. There was no blue to be seen in his eyes, it was all black. His voice had dropped low and became a little hoarse. You shivered. The black spots in your vision were getting a bit much, you could hear the warning alarms in your brain going off. Bucky kept the eye contact for five more seconds and then, he let go off your throat.
You gasped. Knees buckling, you fell on the ground. The oxygen quickly filling your burning lungs, you coughed and wheezed through them. You blinked the tears away as you tried to stand up. Bucky grabbed your arm and pulled you upright, holding you tight against his solid body.
Your eyes found each other, and you cursed at your heart for starting to beat faster than before. You were also cursing at yourself for liking the way he grabbed your throat. You could now see why people were saying ‘love is a dangerous thing’.
Bucky pushed you against the wall gently, surprising you a little. You could see that he was battling with himself about something, but you couldn’t put a finger on what exactly it was. You took a deep, shaky breath when you calmed down a bit. Bucky stepped forward. His body was touching yours, but it didn’t feel as dangerous and angry as it did few minutes ago. He lifted his hand to brush your hair back. Your heart did a flip.
“I came back to you because you’re the only one who accepts me without judgment,” he whispered. His eyes were roaming on your face with a weirdly soft look in them. “I came back because you don’t have high expectations from me. You know me, know what I’m capable of.” He leaned in slightly to have his lips brush against yours as he spoke. “You get me, love.” You whimpered so softly, tears making your eyes sting. Bucky’s hand in your hair moved to your cheek to brush one of the tears away. Why he was being so gentle, you have no idea, but this was the guy who made you fell in love with him, this you knew.
He leaned in to capture your lips this time. Those soft lips onto yours felt like heaven. It was like all your troubles, all those stressful and painful times had been washed away by his lips and you had nothing to worry and stress about. You felt like you were standing on the clouds when his lips were pressed onto yours like this. You let out a soft moan into the kiss. He swallowed it just like he did with the whimper following your moan. He pressed you against the wall fully, once again caging you between his body and wall. This time, you went willingly.
Bucky bent his knees to grab your thighs so that he could lift you up. As soon as your thighs are in his hands, you jumped and wrapped your legs around him while holding onto his neck with your arms. Bucky hummed approvingly and deepened the kiss. His tongue was licking and teeth nipping on your bottom lip, you moaned.
Without a need to ask, he made his way to your room. He knew which door was yours since he had been here many times. He stepped inside and with two large steps, you were dumped on the bed.
Bucky crawled on top of you. His body was radiating a warmth that you had missed so dearly, so you immediately grasped at him, pulling him in. He chuckled, going along, he positioned himself between your legs. His jeans were brushing against your bare legs; the rough fabric causing goosebumps all over your body. You felt his Bucky’s nose poking your jaw playfully, and then trailing down, he stopped when he came across to the collar of your oversize t-shirt. Mumbling non-sense to himself, Bucky ripped the t-shirt off. He ignored all the cries you let out because he just ripped your t-shirt.
“You owe me one,” you panted when he took a nipple in his mouth. Bucky kissed his way to your stomach, biting and sucking every available skin he could reach. You were a moaning, trembling mess under him. You clawed his sweatshirt. You wanted to feel his skin against yours; all smooth and scorching hot skin under your hands. He pulled back for a second to ditch the sweatshirt and his undershirt. He was wearing his dog tags today, you noticed and looped your fingers to it.
Pulling him into a filth kiss with the help of his necklace was easy, Bucky was ready to kiss you yesterday. His tongue slipped in your mouth, licking your lips before that. You moaned. Your hands were framing his face, feeling his knife-sharp jawline and scruff in your palms was a delicious thing.
You heard him fumbling with his sweatpants and then, they were lowered to his mid-thighs. He grabbed your knees, hooked them on his elbows and walked towards you on his knees. His thighs were pushing against yours, and your knees on the crook of his elbows meant that you were almost bent in half.
“Fuck, c’mon,” you groaned. Bucky grunted as he grabbed his cock and lined it up.
“Shit, pull your panties aside,” he growled. You scrambled to comply. Finding the soft fabric that was covering your pussy, you pulled it aside to give him way. He took it immediately. As soon as you uncovered your core, Bucky thrusted forward and slid into you with one move.
You cried out. The sudden intrusion was a bit unexpected, but you loved the burn and sting. Bucky knew that. Humming to himself, Bucky leaned over your body, effectively bending you in half, and started to thrust.
God, you thought. You fucking hated this son of a bitch for what he did you, but you also fucking loved him because his cock felt so good in your pussy whenever you had sex. It felt like his cock was made for only you, and pleasuring you properly was only reserved to him. It was a sad fact, but no one other than him made your body rang with pleasure like this before.
“Yeah,” you breathed when he hit your sweet spot. The stars went off behind your eyelids. “Fuck, James, yeah, right there!” His hips were constantly moving in and out, slamming his pelvis against yours, making his balls kiss your other hole with each pistoning movement; you were in fucking pleasure heaven.
“Oh, fuck, shit,” he hissed through his teeth when you clenched around him unintentionally. You cried out as he bit down your shoulder hard.
“Shit, harder,” you moaned. You were digging and dragging your nails in and down his back, giving him angry red lines, marking him up in your own way while he made you feel so damn good. “Harder, James, holy fuck!” You screamed when his hips started to slam against yours even harder. The sound of slick skin slapping each other got louder, the sound echoing in your room along with your moans and whimpers and gasps. “’m close!” You whined. Bucky stayed quiet although you could hear his soft, guttural moans and occasional grunts.
“Can feel it,” he said, voice rough and deep with lust dripping from it. “You’re clenchin’ around me like mad. Fuck, honey─” He moaned loudly this time and sneaked a hand to your pussy, immediately starting to play with your clit. You gasped, choked on a moan and almost bit your tongue off. His thumb was putting pressure on your abused clit while playing with it. Not even three seconds later, your legs started to tremble from their places on Bucky’s elbows violently and three more seconds later, you were coming on Bucky’s cock with a scream trapped in your throat.
You vaguely heard Bucky cursing, swearing, moaning and hissing through his teeth and felt his hips stop. When you managed to peek through your heavy lidded eyes, you saw him squeezing the base of his cock to stop himself from coming.
“Not done with you,” he grunted when he caught you peeking. You chuckled breathlessly. You felt your legs tingling pleasantly. You wiggled on the bed, feeling satisfied and happy. “C’mere,” you heard Bucky grunt again and before you could understand what was happening, you were hauled off the bed.
“What─” You got cut off with a gasp when your back made contact with the wall. Your legs were still quivering, pussy still clenching around nothing and was sensitive, you felt Bucky pushing back in. “MmmMM, fuck!” You cried out, head banging against the wall. Bucky growled.
“Yeah, baby,” he said. The look in his eyes was hungry, lust filled and predatory. You shivered. “You got what you need, ‘s my turn.” He rearranged you against the wall and in his arms before taking a better position and then, he was fucking off.
His hips started slamming, cock hitting all the sweet spots you had in your pussy but didn’t know about before. His balls were caressing and hitting against your other hole; you could feel the hair at the base of his cock against your pussy. Bucky was thrusting in and out of you at a mad pace. His biceps were bulging, abs clenching and pecs moving up and down, you couldn’t decide whether he looked like a fuck machine or a sex god.
“Ohh, shit, oh!” You whined as his pelvis rubbed against your clit. It was still sensitive, still throbbing lightly and you already felt like close to coming. Bucky, probably felt the rhythmic clenching around his hard cock, snarled and hoisted your legs up on his shoulders and crowded you against the wall even more.
“God, you have no idea how your pussy milkin’ my cock,” he whispered. He slightly changed his position and slowed his thrusts a bit so that he could hit deeper with long strokes, and your eyes rolled back with the intensity of this new position. “Lookit at you, fuck, you look so good on my cock.” His teeth latched onto your neck, right under your jaw, and he sucked and bit the skin there, leaving a mark which was going to be a bitch to cover. You didn’t care.
“James,” you breathed. “James…”
“Yeah, love?” Bucky panted. The sweat was beading on his forehead, his thigh muscles were twitching and his abs were clenching even more than before.
He was close.
“Hard,” you whispered and whimpered loud and long when his cock touched something in you. “Fuck me harder, give it to me harder, come on.” He smirked, briefly leaning into give you a filthy kiss.
“Your wish is command,” he whispered against your lips and picked up the pace.
It didn’t take long for you to become a whimpering mess in his arms yet again nor it didn’t take you long to come on his cock for a second time. Bucky swore as he buried his face in your neck, groaning and grunting as he chased his own orgasm. You slid your hand in his hair, your orgasm still ringing through your body, and pulled on them hard.
“Fuck!” Bucky exclaimed and his body collapsed on you, plastering you fully on the wall. You could feel every twitch, every weak spurt of come in your pussy. You hummed. Bucky was cursing with a weak voice. His legs were trembling as he lowered you on the ground with himself. You played with his hair for a couple seconds before getting off of him carefully. You could feel his come leaking, your legs tingling and satisfaction making your body hum happily. You grabbed another t-shirt from your closet and pulled it on you, padding back to the kitchen and leaving Bucky on the floor of your bedroom.
As you were sipping your water, he walked in. Sweatpants hanging low on his hips, chest bare and hair a mess, he looked thoroughly debauched. You smiled lightly.
“Damn, I could use a long nap,” he said, chuckling. You hummed. You poured him a glass of water, too, before you marched back into your room and grabbed his sweatshirt and shoes. When you returned, he was putting the empty glass back. You threw his sweatshirt to him, dropping his shoes by the door. Bucky caught the clothing on the air and looked at you all confused. You opened the door.
“Goodnight, Bucky,” you said with a cold voice. He blinked.
“What?”
“It’s late. Goodnight,” you repeated, showing the door with your head. His confused expression went and an unreadable one took its place before he straightened. He put his sweatshirt on and laughed coldly.
“Revenge,” he said, laughing again. He looked at you for a couple seconds before he grabbed his shoes and pulling them on quickly. He turned to you, looked like he was going to say something, but then he decided against it and walked out of your apartment.
You closed the door after him. Suddenly, the apartment felt cold without his warm body around you, and you shivered. Sighing sadly, you went to your room and stripped your t-shirt off to take a shower.
If it wasn’t for the ripped t-shirt on the floor of your bedroom and his come leaking, you wouldn’t believe what just happened.
You gave into him. Again. You knew that as long as you kept loving him, you were going to give in to him whenever he came around.
“Stupid,” you murmured to yourself as you stepped under the warm water. “You’re fucking stupid.”
It didn’t stop you from crying under the warm spray of your shower head while washing his come away.
#bucky barnes x reader#fuckboy!bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes imagines#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x you#fuckboy!bucky#loft music
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How will the bros react to MC self-doubting themselves? Like saying bad things about them or can't be serious someone give them compliment.
Supportive demon bois coming right up! Sorry I took so long to write this anon! Thank you so much for the ask! (Also, thank you all for the love on my previous posts!)
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The Brothers with an MC who self doubts themselves:
Lucifer:
-As the embodiment of pride itself, Lucifer has an overwhelming amount of confidence, almost all the damn time
-So, he was flabbergasted to learn that you weren’t the same
-He always insisted that you aren’t anything but perfect, yet you always seemed to brush the compliments off with a shrug and an awkward smile
-Well, shit, we can’t have that
-Lucifer just got 10x more serious about the matter
-He pulls a really stupid concerned face whenever you insult yourself and he looks more and more like a 48 year old man/dad each time it happens
-He, as of late, increased the number of pet names he has for you and the amount of compliments he gives you each day
-He refuses to let you talk badly about yourself anywhere, at any point in time and encourages every little step you take towards bettering yourself like crazy
- Lucifer wants to prove to you that you are an absolute ray of sunshine and he will go to any lengths to do just that (do not ask)
-He’s even more affectionate than usual which confuses just about everyone in the House of Lamentation, yourself included
-His brothers are feeling a disturbance in the force and they don’t know how to feel about it
-You are possibly the best thing that’s happened to him since he fell as angel and Lucifer is ready to do whatever he can to help you realise that
Mammon:
-“You’re an idiot!”
-“*Sigh*, I know.”
-“Wha-Wait! Y-you can’t say thAT!”
-The Great Mammon is seriously worried about his human
-Being the dense motherfucker he is (i still love him tho) it took him weeks to realise you’re not all that confident in yourself
-At some point in your relationship, he jokingly called you annoying and you just went “Yeah I’ve been told. Sorry.”
-His jaw literally dropped and he almost cried
-He would have choked if he was drinking something
-Tsundere Mammon has gone bye bye and here comes the cuddling teddy bear that is your boyfriend
-He also doesn’t have as much self love for himself as he sometimes pretends to have so he’s kinda in the same boat
-Which means your boat is leaking and you’re perfectly fine with it while he’s panicking and trying to throw water overboard with his hands
-His brothers call him an idiot a lot but he’s a very sociable guy with people skills that he uses all the time in order to coax you out of your self pitiying shell
-Will whine every time you call yourself ‘useless’ or disagree with his compliments because what the hell, you’re literally the most gorgeous being ever let me love youuuu
-When it comes to you and your happiness, he ain’t fucking around. He will snarl at anyone that even looks at you in the wrong way
-Did that to Lucifer once, guess a what happened
-You’ve definitely helped him come to terms with the fact that he is loveable and not a good for nothing scum
-So now it’s your turn!
-Let him kiss your insecurities away please
-Your presence makes him feel wanted so he wants the same for you!
Levi:
-Well then
-It takes two to tango ya know?
-He is the KING of self loathing and no confidence whatsoever in anything he does so every time you put yourself down, he counters it with a self deprecating insult as well
-“I suck.”
-“Nah, you’re pretty awesome normie. I’m the shut in, disgusting otaku who can barely set foot outside his bedroom without having an anxiety attack.”
-It’s like you’re trying to outdo the other on who is worse
-Truth is, he really admires you, especially knowing you chose to date him; an anime nerd with no social life and no communication skills whatsoever
-It hurts a bit, every time he builds up the courage to actually compliment you and you not taking it seriously
-That’s because he recognises that he’s the same and just as harsh on himself as you are
-Levi knows self hatred is something that takes time to demolish
-But you are his Henry after all (also his partner but whatevs)
-He’s not gonna leave you hanging when you need him the most
-He also gradually stops calling you a normie as your relationship progresses, though it still slips through every now and again
-Basically, the first time he realised that you think negatively of yourself, his immediate reaction was: Haha lmao relatable
-But now, every time it happens, he gets all serious
-Puts his controller down and everything, it’s like witnessing a very rare phenomenon and it’s creepy as shit
-He’s also made an effort to be more physically affection though he is kinda shy about it because damn it he just wants to hug you every time you speak badly of yourself
-Probably writes a list at some point stating all the reasons why you are better than him and Ruri chan combined, it’s rlly sweet
Satan:
-He’s a bit curious as to where that mentality has come from
-What triggered you to be so self doubtful?
-He’s basically your psychotherapist and asks you a lot of questions trying to find different causes and solutions for your issues
-Honestly, he puts so much effort into trying to understand, reading books about it from the human realm and whatever he can find in order to help you
-He scrunches up his nose every time you call yourself an idiot or anything of the sort
-Satan knows that insisting you’re wonderful won’t exactly help you overcome this problem of yours
-But that doesn’t stop him from doing it
-It’s not like you can ignore his comments because he will keep complimenting you until you accept them
-He also repeats a lot of pick up lines but that’s just part of being his partner
-What do you mean you’re worthless?!! He would literally give away all of his books and his hatred for Lucifer in exchange for your well being!
-Satan is possibly the smartest out of all of his brothers, so he uses a tactical approach on this one
-Direct affectionate gestures don’t work on you so he’s gonna be more subtle
-Would slightly hint that you are amazing every time you do something for him, like fetching him a book or something
-“Ah thank you. I don’t know what I would do without you love.”
-He’s a lot smoother than he gives himself credit for
-He just appreciates your existence and that there’s someone out there that he doesn’t need to be act hostile or fake toward
-Satan is ready to sit down and listen to you talk about your insecurities for hours on end
-You would quietly say something bad about yourself and he would run through the House of Lamentation before bursting into the room you are in, shouting ‘No! That’s wrong!’ (going Danganronpa on your asses)
-“Welp, I fucked up again. I can’t do anything right.”
-And then, in the distance you hear boss music starting
Asmo:
-*Shocked Gasp*
-How could you say such things about yourself???? Is that even leGAl?
-Of course, the literally prince of Lust, with all of his narcissism, has never experienced things like ‘self doubt’ of ‘bad self esteem’
-Pfft, the fuck is that?
-He only uses the most positive of words when he describes himself
-So obviously he almost falls off the bed when he hears you insulting yourself for the first time
-But ya know, that would leave bruises on his beautiful skin
-“Oh darling, you’re not annoying or a moron! You’re not anything like Mammon!”
-That was a below belt fatal hit, press f in the chat for the second eldest
-At some point, he just genuinely believes you’ve been spending too much time with Levi and that his negativity started rubbing off on you
-But then you tell him you’ve always been like this and he almost has a crisIS
-He’s like ‘Haha, no, we’re going to get a spa day out tomorrow and a few shopping sprees so I can prove to you that you are magnificent in every way imaginable.’
-Asmo loves pampering you in general but on the days he sees you feeling extra sorry for yourself, he goes above and beyond
-Gets very hurt when you brush off his compliments because he just wants you to accept the fact that you’re beautiful
-He’s like a supportive mom lmao, whenever you’re feeling self doubtful, he goes “You’re doing great sweetie, keep it up I’m really proud of you.”
-It’s up to you to decide whether that helps or not
-He’s such a sweetheart in reality, it’s hard to remember that he’s supposed to be horny all the time
-Well he is but that’s not the point, you’re way more important
-Asmo is so much fun to write cuz I can make him so dramatic it’s hilarious
Beel:
-Oh no :(
-He gets very sad everytime you self deprecate yourself
-You can’t do it with him in the room because he’s going to start crying and give you this kicked puppy stare, it will break your heart
-Beel kinda comes over and goes “If I give you some of my food will you please stop saying bad things about yourself? Because it’s not true.”
-Well you can’t say no to that face
-He feels like it’s his fault you’re this self doubtful even though you’ve tried to explain to him you’ve always been like this
-He goes crying to his twin half the time because he doesn’t know what to do
-“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to drop it! Fucking hell, I’m such a fucking klutz.”
-“Sniffle no you’re not.”
-He’s like, giving you large portions of his food now
-Because food makes him happy so he wants you to be happy too
-🙂
-His brothers go in shock every time because the only other person Beel has ever shared his food with before was Belphie
-Physical affection goes through the roof with this guy
-Bone crushing hugs btw
-Your self worth is so immeasurable with him, you can’t even measure it
-W h o a
-I’m being serious, don’t talk badly about yourself in front of him unless you want to be hugged into next week
-You are a literal angel in his eyes, of course he thinks highly of you
-He’s just hoping his presence isn’t making your self esteem worse, that’s the thing that keeps him up at night
-Idk why but he does think that he is a bad influence on your mental well being since he’s a demon
-Beel gives you compliments all the time and it confuses him when you laugh them off uncertainly because he wasn’t joking or lying??
-He’s always supportive of your choices and encourages you to be more confident
-The same way you show your support everytime you come to his games to cheer him on
-Overall, he just wants you to feel special and appreciated
-Because you deserve it
-IneedmyselfaBeel
Belphie:
-He feels like absolute shit
-Becuase he’s well aware he‘s called you a few...not so nice words in the past
-Back then, he only thought he meant everything he said but now that he’s hearing you accept his insults and actually repeating them yourself?
-It hurts his brain and he wants to smash his head against all four walls of the room for being such a cretin
-You do tell him it’s not exactly his fault you think so badly of yourself
-But he still believes he fueled it
-So now he needs to fix it
-He’s tried everything and I mean everything
-It’s kinda working, slow progress is made which he’s really happy about but you know, it’s gonna take a while
-He finally settles on physical affection as the best way to communicate his gratefulness for you being youself
-Oh, he wasn’t hugging you before? He is now, get your ass next to him and let him cuddle you
-Handholding has increased by 69% in the last month, sorry for the loss of your right hand with how much he squeezes it
-Sometimes, he can’t help but a throw an insult at you in a playful manner, because he’s an asshole
-But he always makes sure you understand that he was just joking
-He’s such a little shit, you would be having a chat with him and you would subtly drop a insult at yourself hoping he wouldn’t notice
-But then he stops dead in his tracks, kisses you, says “Shut up, you’re stunning” and then he goes right back to the previous conversation like nothing happened
-Accept his compliments damn it otherwise he will continue to bug you about it for the rest of the day
-He’s an eboy and he’s a dickhead a times, but he just goes soft for you tbh
-If you’re feeling really bad about yourself, he won’t even say anything
-He will just big spoon you for the next 24 hours, good luck going to the bathroom or any meals during that time
-Because once you’re in his grip, you’re not getting out that easily
-He gets so pissy if anyone says something even slightly negative about you to your face
-One time, a random demon called you stupid in one of the classes at RAD and he was like ‘bïtch excuse me what?’
-Snapped his head around at him and everything
-He would have done something worse but he was lazy and feeling really petty
-So Belphie kicked him in the privates from under his desk like a damn spoiled brat
-And then he turned his head back to you, all smiles and rainbows and puppies
-I’m simping so hard for a fictional character wtf
-I had to write more protective Belphie cuz I can’t find anything of the sort anymore and I need flUFF
(Haha, I don’t know what this post is, my writing has officially taken a shit lmao. Sorry this took so long to finish, I kept going back to edit all of them)
Al~
#obey me#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me imagines#obey me leviathan#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me satan#⭐️ requests#🌸 comfort#☂️ demon brothers
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Kenma Kozume X Male Reader | “Fighter” | ☁️
I wrote this out of boredom at like, 3AM.
Word count: 2,345
Trigger Warning: Fighting, cursing, blood.
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Such bullshit, you thought as a group of violent alphas glared up at you. You clicked your tongue, swinging your prized metal bat off your shoulders, slapping it loudly against your palm.
"You're such a nuisance," you grumbled.
"Us?! You're the one spreading their pheromones like a whore!" The self-proclaimed 'leader' spat, venom lacing his words. You rolled your eyes, moving your body into a fighting stance.
"Yeah? But aren't you the shitbag who touched that omega chick without consent?" You lowly growled. The alpha faltered, giving you your answer, before snapping back to reality. "She asked for it! Practically begged! Her scent-!"
"Her scent, what?" You took menacing steps forward, pushing your bat under his chin aggressively. You were relatively tall which made you intimidating along with your mean features but you weren't feared enough to be spared violence due to your second gender, and Omega. You could easily be mistaken for a powerful Alpha from afar.
You were born with slanted, glaring eyes and a harsh resting bitch face, so you could understand why people tended to avoid you at first glance.
Your eyes glared with pent up rage as you lifted your bat above your head and brought it down on the shitty alphas shoulder.
A sickening crack echoed through the empty alleyway, the alpha gasping in pain before another blow from your knee slammed into his chin. He stumbled back onto his ass, gripping his shoulder pathetically.
"Your scent is disgusting," You grimaced, waving your hand in front of your nose.
"Get them, idiots!" He whined loudly. His goons charged you a second later. Swiftly, you dunked under one's metal pipe, kicking his gut and pushing him off his feet. You dropped to the concrete and quickly knocked another's ankles from under him, swinging your bat over your head (hitting someone's chin in the process), and bounced it hard against his soft belly.
You rolled over but was forced back by a shoe to your cheek. You hissed, looking up before having your silky locks fisted and your face smashed into a hard kneecap. You gasped as blood oozed from your nose.
You forcefully shook off the pain and grabbed your offender's wrist and with a burst of short-lived power, swung him over your head and knocking him out cold against the hard floor.
You laid there for a hot second, staring up at the baby blue sky. There weren't any clouds, you noticed sadly.
You were tempted to fall asleep but you were sure when the sad excuses of alphas woke it wouldn't be pleasant for you.
You knew the scene looked horrible to an unknowing eye, but you couldn't bring yourself to give a single shit.
You sighed and picked your slightly bloodied weapon up to lazily toss it over your shoulders, walking to the entrance of the alleyway.
Though, surprisingly, you had bumped into someone. It wasn't your fault you couldn't see him, you had the worst vision. You furrowed your brows internally, you needed to see an eye doctor soon.
The guy you bumped into bristled like a startled cat, taking a short step back as he clutched his Nintendo DS close to his chest. You glared down at him.
"Ah... Sorry," He muttered, lowering his eyes to the ground. He glanced down the alley at the sound of a pained moan.
You scowled at the noise, releasing a loud sigh through your nose.
"No, sorry. I wasn't paying attention." You quietly said. Kenma nodded slowly, looking back to his gaming device, not caring too much about the very obvious fight that had just ensued.
"You play Animal Crossing?" You asked, recognizing the soft music instantly.
Though shocked a guy like you knew the game, Kenma nodded again.
"Cool, me too. Give me your name," You said smoothly, though internally you were ecstatic someone else played the game.
That's how you met the pudding haired boy. After exchanging your contact information, you went your separate ways.
You texted Kenma first.
To: Kenma
From: (Y/n)
I want to play COD. Do you have it?"
To: (Y/n)
From: Kenma
yeah. whats your gamertag?
To: Kenma
From: (Y/n)
DyNaMiTe.
Don't ask.
To: (Y/n)
From: Kenma
I won't.
Let's play.
To: Kenma
From: (Y/n)
Oh, btw, do you have a mic?
After adding your new friend on the Playstation, you connected to a call and played several rounds of COD before you got bored of slaughtering random enemies.
"Let's play Mario Kart," You stated.
"Okay," Came Kenma's short answer.
You ended up playing until sunrise. You had to admit, the bloodshot eyes and sore muscles were worth it. Kenma was a surprisingly good player and you could say with confidence he was now a gamer buddy.
More time passed since you met the setter, but he knew deep down it was only a matter of time before he was forced to introduce you to his childhood friend. As of now, he was thankful he told him very little about his newfound friend.
The more you hung out with Kenma at school the more open he became, giving you longer answers rather than his short, to the point ones. Sometimes he'd call you randomly at night requesting you play Animal Crossing with him and everyone else had gone to sleep.
It was a lie. Kenma didn't have any other friends, but he wouldn't admit that anytime soon. He had to go when a loud voice called for him to get his ass to bed, though you weren't sure who it was. Maybe his dad? But he sounded young. You shrugged it off, it wasn't your business anyway.
A week later you and Kenma sat on the roof of the school. You took a large bite out of a thick sandwich layered with meat and cheese. Kenma favored a neat bento his mother made him the night before. Occasionally, you'd glance at his teriyaki and whine. It took a while but the blonde finally gave in, holding a ball of meat in between his chopsticks towards you.
"You wanted one, right?" He muttered, avoiding eye contact. You grinned and sloppily took it from him, thanking him as you chewed. Kenma grimaced and wiped at the corner of your mouth with a napkin.
"Don't talk with your mouth full, idiot.." He whispered.
Aw, look! He's being nice~ Your inner Omega swooned. You pushed down a blush, though Kenma could've sworn he saw a thin layer of pink dusting your cheeks, though he couldn't tell due to a large bruise. He brushed it off.
More time passe. As the days increased so did the bruises, cuts, and even a few stitches. Kenma had noticed you being pulled out of class through the window of his classroom but never really questioned it, assuming you were skipping with your friends.
He couldn't have been more wrong.
"You're fucking joking," You muttered, staring at that shitty alpha from a few months ago standing in front of your classroom. He had innocently claimed his teacher needed to talk to you, something about your grandma's passing or some bullshit excuse. Your grandmother had been dead for three years.
"Come along now, (Y/n)," He whimpered sadly, patting your shoulder. "You wouldn't want anything bad happening to your little blonde pal, would you?" He whispered dangerously in your ear. You allowed him to lead you out of the classroom.
You glared, growling. "You're bluffing," You accused, crossing your arms across your chest.
He raised a brow. "Am I? I have a buddy in his classroom, all I have to do is get him to bring your pal out. He doesn't look like a very strong alpha..." he trailed off, a sick grin pulling at his cheeks.
You cursed under your breath, an image of Kenma's small, shy smile crossing your mind. No way in hell would you let this dickbag of an alpha touch what's yours.
Mine. Your Omega growled loudly.
Ours, You thought back.
You would protect him all you could.
After school Kenma went to volleyball practice, per normal, but you weren't waiting for him when he left his classroom. Normally you would pick him up and walk him to the gym then wait on the side of the gates where Kenma would make up an excuse to walk home with you instead of Kuroo.
He furrowed his brows, confused. He checked the bathrooms on his way to the gym, not seeing you. Did you get sick? He made a quick stop at the nurse's office, asking if you had gone home. She shook her head, claiming nobody had gone home today.
As nervous as he was, he made his way to the volleyball court, changing into his proper shoes. As little as he normally played, he couldn't get his mind off you. He had a sinking feeling something was very wrong.
As much as he didn't want to admit it, he had started to develop feelings for the taller Omega. He had denied it for a while, but he had soon come to terms with it. What was the point in acting like they weren't there? It would be there anyway. He couldn't act like his heart didn't start to pound in his chest every time he saw you or how worried and protective he felt when he saw a new bruise or cut on your body. He felt butterflies when you laughed at your victories in first-person shooter games or that childish grin you got when he caved and let you have his teriyaki at lunch.
"Kenma!" Kuroo called, jogging over. Kenma hummed, looking up at the raven.
"Are you alright? You're more out of it than usual," Kuroo asked, his brows knitting together worriedly. The blonde bit his lip, looking down, to the left and right before meeting his gaze again.
"You.. Know that guy I told you about?" He muttered.
Kuroo raised his eyebrows. "The one you're madly in love-" Kenma yelped, slapping his hands over his mouth quickly, his face exploding into a red blush. "Sh!" he hissed.
Kuroo smirked behind his friend's hands, giving them a wet lick. Kenma gagged, jerking his hands away and wiping them violently on the rooster haired male's black shirt. "Gross..." He whined.
Kruoo laughed, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I know the guy. What bout him?"
The setter sighed, voicing his concern. "He wasn't here today to get me," He started. "He didn't text me he was leaving and it looks like he's getting.. hurt more often." His voice dipped into a whisper as worries and anxieties flooded his brain. Something wasn't right, he just knew it.
Kuroo hummed, tapping his finger on his chin. "Have you asked him?" Kenma shook his head. "You should," Kuroo gave him a long stare. "I don't see why you haven't."
Kenma opened his mouth, then closed it. "I don't know." He said. "Somethings wrong," He looked down, shuffling his feet. "Really wrong. With him."
An overbearing scent caught his attention. Faintly he smelt the omega's natural scent, pine, and fresh campfire.
"Find him," Kuroo smiled. "I think there's something between you two, more than a bro-bro relationship." He teased. Kenma blushed, wasting no time in changing into his outdoor shoes and Volleyball jacket before he bolted out the door. He zipped the red jacket up to his chin and smelt the cold air, searching for his crush's scent.
He ran to the gates of the school and made his way to the empty park. It was concealed by the thick forest and thicket, but the unmistakable smell of him.
He pushed through the thorns and sniffed the air. His smell was strong, he was close. A heavy feeling of anxiety and excitement settled in the pit of his stomach as he broke through the bushes.
Kenma's golden eyes caught sight of a figure hunched over in a swing and he jogged over.
"(Y/n)?" He asked. You flinched at his voice, as comforting as it may have been to you, you lowered your head, your hair blocking your face.
Kenma's nose picked up on a dreadful, and disgusting scent. Blood.
"(Y/n), what happened?" He lowered himself to the dirt, looking under your bangs. "Please, look at me.." he muttered, reaching up to brush the hair away from your face.
You sniffed and looked up, tears brimming your narrowed eyes as blood dribbled down your face from a large cut across your temple, your nose, and busted lip. Your knuckles were a bright red, dotting with blood. A tear slid down your cheek and you hurriedly wiped it away, jerking your head aside.
"It's nothing," You growled. Kenma narrowed his eyes, standing up.
"It's not." He said.
"It's nothing, Kenma." You whispered, smearing the blood across your face when you rubbed your sore nose. "Just a stupid fight."
"(Y/n), talk to me," Kenma muttered, glaring down at your hunched form. "I can't help if you don't fucking talk to me, you know." You winced at the harsh curse. The shorter one didn't cuss often, only at games when he lost a hard round or when he was pissed.
"I said it's nothing, drop it." You hissed, your (e/c) orbs piercing into his honey eyes. He held your stare sternly.
You caved.
"Someone threatened to hurt you if they didn't get revenge. They wanted a punching bag for a while. In exchange, they'd leave you alone. Satisfied?" You huffed childishly.
Kenma gaped at you.
Had you really gone and got yourself beat to a pathetic lump all so he was spared a little pushing around?
When he didn't answer you took a breath.
"I'd rather be a human punching bag than allow the guy I love to get hurt," You grumbled, holding your breath. Yeah, fuck you, you knew what you were saying. You were low enough and if the setter didn't return your feelings the internally bruising would heal with your external cuts.
"The guy you love?" Kenma whispered. "You... Love me?" he stared at you, slightly wide-eyed. You nodded stiffly.
"Me too."
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#kenma x you#kenma x reader#hq kenma#male reader#x male reader#haikyuu!!#nekoma#romance#bxb#kenma kozume#kenma kozume x reader#kenma kozume x male reader
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She was my best friend, my hero, my mom.
SATURDAY JULY 24th exactly two weeks ago from today. I wake up to a hot southern sunny day like any other day I call my mother like every morning to tell her I'm stopping by before arriving to work later that evening she tells me okay and that she loved me she was going to lay down for a short nap I'm sitting with my wife while lacing my boots my for work getting ready to head out I get a phone call from my aunt (moms sister) she's frantic screams yours moms not breathing my heart took a nose dive straight to the pit of my stomach I scream to call 911 and don’t stop CPR boots still half way laced me and wife hop in our she only lives bout 3 mins up the road from me so I high tail over there the ambulance was pulling her out while continuing cpr they say headed to the hospital follow us and side note the cop that pulled me off to the side to mention “its a good sign they are taking her to the hospital” I mean sure he meant well but fuck false hope right now I got to get to my mom. So me the wife and my aunt arrive at the hospital in record time we mask up rush in and get the info from them we are told to wait outside we comply. No more than two minutes later a lady comes out no in uniform just a hospital staff badge I knew it wasn’t long she was back there for them to have news already I knew the news was going to be bad. I grabbed my aunt's hand and ushered our way thru the doors. I tell her to say it just say it tell me to my surprise the lady started tearing up before I could react the doctors now come out to tell me Hes sorry for my lose and that they did everything they could in the tiny what 5 mins they had her whatever sure thank you anyways he confirms and what seems like a bad dream everything's falling away from me all around I lose all feeling in my legs brace my back against the cold hospital wall and slowly collapse. My wife lets out a noise of heartbreak and my aunt is I think in shock? They tell me to come tell her goodbye or do our last goodbye whatever I couldn’t physically walk into the room the confusion the questions the agony why is this happening I was coming to see u mom what happen? I went into the room I found the strength somewhere God only knows I sit there with her with my back turned I couldn’t bare to look at her my heart was completely broken. People say heartbreak sometimes hurts physically and I never could relate but they day I understood I got it that day it hurt like hell. Meanwhile my aunt gets a phone call. I'm the youngest (29) out of moms two girls my sister (34) calls and the worse time possible on speaker I head the operator say the usual automated voice recording “ you have a collect call from an inmate at the correctionally blah blah blah my siters been in prison for the past few years old fines recovering addict she's turned her life around me and mom were so proud of all she has accomplished and the changes she had made thus far release date was august 16th so close, eh? It angered me to my soul my mom had been looking forward to that day for a while she was so close I just was anger I was anger at god I was anger at the doctors I was anger at the world anyways my aunt tells her what's happening and she falls silent for what seem like forever and replied with you're lying and messing me stop don’t I cried for her I knew it was going to break my sister she had always feared something would happen while she was away putting her past behind her I just never really thought it would happen anyways she talks to my aunt my wife comes to my side tells me to kiss my mom bye and tell her that I loved her I sit there staring into what seem like nothing then I thought back to just a day ago me and mom had a conversation on her front porch swing and every time I was stressed or just needing advice my mom would reassure me I was okay the best advice I could ever receive and she ended that convo that day like always a hug and I saying she always said to me “you got this” with a smile so back to the hospital room I stood up gave my wife a half grin put my shoulders back and stood tall kissed my mom's forehead and whisper near her “i got this” and left. That was the worse day of my life I lost my dad back in 2015 I took it pretty hard but this felt different my mom taught me everything I know how to brush my hair how to tuck my baby dolls in as a child I felt emptiness and confusion. She was just fine I never would have thought I would've been there that day going thru the suddenness of everything happening. Honestly the death of my mom and how sudden it was without no warning no nothing has been the hardest part for me emotionally and mental. My dad always taught his two girls work hard for what you got and appreciate it especially the small things don’t take shit from no one and make a good life for self. I work a trucking job my wife works for a nonprofit animal clinic for helping animals. We’ve moved back to my hometown state Mississippi from her home state California talk about a culture shock for her moving here btw lol she's amazing shout out to Tumblr btw for giving us that chance of our paths meeting and finding a love in one another. Okay back to the story I've always worked hard it hasn’t been easy it hasn't been good day after good I've seen some real bad days and vice versa I've never used a GoFundMe hell I didn’t even really know what it was until my wife explained it to me. I live pay check to pay check but I got everything I could ever ask for and a lovely home to come home to. I was just completely blown away when the funeral home gave me a final price I cried and I cried some more I didn't know what I was going to do my sister wasn’t exactly in a big way to help until the 16th when she was released. So I'm taking my time out of today to tell the story of the worst day of my life my best friend my mother my hero and the day I lost her forever. If you still have your parents believe let them hug you even longer than they already, do I'm lost and I'm asking for just the smallest donation of whatever anything will help at the point and I'm already up about $800 out of $4000 for the total cost of putting my mother to rest she wanted to cremated so on the day my sisters get out Aug. 16th is the day I have arranged for her funeral and all services that I got the quote for because I'll be damned, I was letting her miss that. Thank you. I will link my GoFundMe and even if I don’t get anything thank you for taking the time to read and allowing me to open up and talk about it. God knows it's going to be a long hard journey, but hey I GOT THIS.
.https://gofund.me/3f0a19e5 <--- link for donations. thank you.
#gofundme#mother#fundraising#funeral#memorial#mom#daughter#sister#please consider donating#thankful#count your blessings#mamasgirl#you are my best friend#good deeds#rip#rip mom#I love you#forever#tumblr is my diary#story time#story#worst day of my life#lonely#peacewithin#prayers#thanks anon!#thank you#look to the future#i appreciate it#gods plan
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I would love to hear your thoughts on YJS3
sure! fair warning, though, I'm a ranty person by nature so this might end up being a bit long. sorry in advance ♡
anyway! things I liked:
the humor: s3 was pretty funny lmao, theres that whole collection of outta pocket scenes from throughout the season that I find hilarious each time + the humor was a little more dirty which is nice bc the audience has also grown up from the kids they might've been when they watched it on CN
dickbabs!: I'm not a huge fan of dickbabs, I prefer dickkory (no hate to dickbabs stans btw I just vibe more with dickkory) but this dynamic between the two of them was so sweet and well-balanced I couldnt help but squeal everytime they were on-screen
Clark and Conner getting along: them calling each other brothers was so CUTE I canttt
FORAGER: an absolute legend 10/10 freaking love him
That Episode With The Hallucination: mmmmmmm I miss wally. SO MUCH. and the og 6 I was Super Mad about the first timeskip so it was nice to see them all together again🥰
yeah that's about it for things I liked lmao. now time for the Much Longer list of Things I Hated:
HALO: young justice the bar was so fucking low how are you still successfully doing the limbo what the fuck. you take a muslim immigrant in what is VERY CLEARLY a hijab and 1. infantilize her to an exceptionally uncomfortable degree (I KNOW SHE WAS THE MOTHERBOX, I DONT CARE) to the point where she resembles a five-year-old with every sentence she speaks or action she takes 2. you made a visibly muslim girl claim that she's actually no longer muslim, she's just wearing the hijab as some kind of security blanket???? I'm sorry??? what the fuck were you aiming for here exactly 3. why did you have to name her violet harper. what. 4. really?? the immediate romance with brion? What the shit was up with that...you make her Muslim in some aspects like victor not seeing her hair when she brushes it but her LITERALLY making out with brion like I'm sorry what the fuck are you doing??? you had one muslim character and you fucked up so bad holy shit...like...it could've been simple as hell, man, but no...Big Yikes.
M'gann: I've said this before but I really feel like once they introduced artemis m'gann immediately became a side character whose only job is to be villainised again and again even though it doesn't really vibe with her character. Secret teams?? Lying to Conner??? This isn't s3 but that whole thing with their breakup in s2...what the shit are they doing to M'gann, man. I loved her so much in s1, she's literally trying her best after having gone through so much and it's never fully explored...like we get half explanations every season but we're never shown half the shit that we were given for artemis. And by making her the Uncool Girlfriend at points it just looks like they're trying make her easy to hate like what the fuck. no. stop it
The Plot: too overcomplicated, too many characters. It's only season three, why are you introducing Apokolips already. Why are there so many characters?? what's with all the subplots yall were switching location cards every five minutes. And it's so convoluted...like...what was going on with Beast Boy and the monkey-god-doom-patrol-exposition stuff? I can't even remember if there were two granny goodnesses or just the one. All of those meta kids left over from the last season are a cute cast but like...I was so bored??? we know you can do well-written self-contained storylines a la s1, so hop to it, yeah?
THE ANIMATION: ok ok ok so. season 1 and two (one especially) had a very distinct feeling to them and that feeling was very late-2000s Cartoon Network Action Show - the base model for the males and females is the same (like Ben 10 Alien Force) the colors were not dynamic (stayed the same no matter the lighting, lots of cel shading, and generally were realistically colored in the sense that suspension of disbelief was not entirely necessary) CHEEKBONES, gritty textures and purple skies (Batman the Brave and the Bold). overall theres a certain Tone to the earlier seasons that spoke a lot to the animation capabilities of the studios at the time, as well as the general feel of the show. however, season three was a MAJOR downgrade in terms of animation. they made it both simpler and more complicated - they started using their DCAMU animation style which while it does give muscles to the women, adds too many unneeded shadows and a strange stiffness and dullness to every character. There are now extra lines and uncessesary shadows on the face of every character, and their eyes and facial features are almost identical. There's also less highlights, and the hairstyles are way too overcomplicated now to be appealing (see mgann and dick) - the hair is unspeakably dull and and the skin tones and hair colors are painful on the eyes. This isn't even taking into account the shitty backgrounds they've started using (AHEM AHEM ARTEMIS'S KITCHEN) because while the earlier seasons may have had unappealing, mostly empty settings, the characters still fit in to the scene, unlike now.
the lack of sisterhood????: apparently, only artemis goes to see zatanna for her Dr. Fate appointments. Apparently, M'gann barely talks to Artemis after the very tragic apparent death of Wally. the two of them, dare I say even the THREE of them, should be close as hell considering they spent their early years super-heroing together on a team full of boys. M'gann LITERALLY called Artemis her sister in the SAME EPISODE she was introduced, and neither of them had any real girlfriends other than each other at this point. M'gann who fell apart so hard Artemis died in her head that she almost killed them all in her grief. Like. You're telling me, you're SHOWING me that these two aren't each other's support system? Where is the sisterhood, bitch????
Lastly: the costume design. I understand that they're constrained by the need to make it simple enough to animate, but COME ON. if you're going to borrow Diana's DCAMU/JL: War costume, at least keep the metal silver. What the fuck is that green-gold. And Tigress? god DAMN that mask is ugly. Cassie looks like she robbed a goddamn supermarket discount clothing aisle for her outfit. Why is bart's outfit Like That it's so ugly it makes me want to cry. @ young justice costume designers Please Rethink Your Decisions
that's about all I can think of right now. it got REALLY negative whoops, but theres just so much I didn't like about this season :/ hopefully the next one will better ;-;
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Disney Romance - Tangled in the Stars - 200 followers special
Hiii ! Thanks a lot for letting me choose 💕 I would like Tangled with female reader and my Sabo boy 🎂 - @pure-kirarin
A/N : Hey Kirarin chan!! Thanks for the brilliant idea of the 200 followers event. I hope you like this cringe story of mine. Please don’t have any high expectations on it, I may not reach them. I enjoyed writing this story a lot. Please forgive me for any mistakes.
Pairing : Sabo X Fem! Reader
Word count : 2.3 K
Warnings : Angst, fluff, happy ending
Your team were given a mission to infiltrate the base of a well-known Merchant, who was also a kidnapper. To set free all the people who were kidnapped and to hand him over to the revolutionary was your work. But… it felt like, it was already an assigned mission. Brushing the feeling aside, you took on the mission without asking anything else.
Luckily you people achieved success because of your planning. It felt like… it was the first time, your plan was actually implemented, without any ruckus or chaos. But why? Thinking about this, you felt your heart clench and your eyes started to well up.
“Y/N! What happened”, asked Koala as she came towards you. You wiped your tears with your shirt sleeve and gave her a smile. “I feel happy because we completed the mission without any… havoc”, you said trying to brush off the topic.
She kissed your cheek and said, “Aww you are so cute. Btw, we have a break for 3 days before we set sail”.
“Oh that’s great. Do you think there is any-”
“LIBRARY AROUND”, she completed your sentence before you could, making you chuckle. “There is one beside the railway station but, what are you going to read about? The Cursed castle?”, she asked you gaining your complete interest.
“Cursed castle? What is it?”, you asked curiously. Koala raised her eye brow and asked you, “What? You don’t know about that castle? There are so many rumours about that castle”.
“No, can you tell me about it?”, you tugged at her shirt and she closed her eyes and started to think.
“Actually, I’ve heard that there is a place in the forest, where there is a one tower castle. Everyone said that the castle is absolutely beautiful but it is cursed. If an individual steps into the castle, they get cursed”.
“Where is the castle and What is the curse?”, you asked her but she shook her head no and continued, “Sadly, I know nothing more about it”
“Oh… Now I have a even more interesting reason to take a tour of the Library, Thanks Koala”, you said getting up from your place.
“But, what about our shopping, HEY Y/N!!”, she wined
“Rain check”, you said closing the door behind you earning a sigh from her.
You walked quickly towards the library as your heart started to beat faster with each step you took. It was as if you needed to know about it or… like your life depended on it. Reaching the library, you walked quietly into the section of myths of the place. Looking around the shelves about the cursed castle, you found nothing about it. You tried to read and search for anything similar to it, but you found nothing.
“Excuse me, it’s the closing time”, an old woman, who was apparently the librarian, said to you. You looked at the clock and it was 11 pm. Getting up from the place you bowed to the lady and started to walk. Then a closed section of the library caught your eye.
“Sorry mam but, why is this place closed?”, you asked the librarian. She looked at the section and said, “From the time I started working here, it has been closed and no one is allowed in there”.
“Oh… Okay, I’ll leave now. Thanks”, you said and exited the place. After 15 minutes the old lady came out of the library and closed the door. As soon as she left the place and making sure no one was there, you made your way towards the door and opened the lock. Oh c’mon, this lock was a child’s play in front of all the locks that you opened before. Looking back and closing the door silently, you turned the lamp which you held and proceeded towards the closed section. ‘No Trespassing, closed for now’, was written on the door. You raised an eye brow and opened the door as you smirked.
‘The door would be broken by now, if this was read by-’, your thoughts stopped. ‘By whom?’, you thought as you felt the same pain in your heart. You clenched your fist and started to look at the books. They were mostly about the place’s history on the dark side and also the war plans used in the past.
‘Should I give up?’, you thought but again you felt a sting in your heart, as if you were supposed to search for it. You looked at all the books but couldn’t find even a similar book regarding it. You placed the books as they were and turned to leave the place even though your heart felt like it was crying with pain. Just as when you were about to leave, a painting caught your attention.
You went towards it and lifted your lamp to see it clearly. You saw that, it was a painting of a castle. ‘A one tower castle’, you thought as you saw the painting even more carefully. There was a full moon in the sky, the waterfall in the background. The sky was filled with so many stars and when observed carefully, there you saw a guy, with blond hair staring at the stars. For some reason, your heart started to beat faster than usual looking at the man in the painting. Suddenly the man moved and went inside the castle. ‘What the hell? Did he just move?’, freaking out, you took a chair and climbed on it, to touch the painting.
As your hand came in contact with the painting, you got dragged into it. You screamed as you hit the hard surface.
“Ouch! What the…”, you said as you placed your hand on your back and looked around you. It was a beautiful room, coloured with royal gold and had red carpet on the floor.
“WHO ARE YOU?”, you turned towards the voice of the person. Your (eye colour) orbs met with black orbs of a man with blond hair. He was lean and tall, also had a scar on his left eye. Your heart started to beat faster as you looked at him as if you already knew him.
He gulped as he clenched his fists and asked again, “How did you come here? Who are you?”, you blinked your eyes and got up quickly. “I have no idea how I got here. I was in a library looking at a painting one moment and then suddenly I got here”, you said and looked around.
“What happened? Why are you crying?”, he asked you. You didn’t even notice that you were crying till he mentioned, wiping your tears, you said, “It’s.. It’s nothing, I just felt like, you were familiar”.
He exhaled and nodded. “I feel the same, as if we met before, but I don’t know you”
“Is that so… What are you doing here in this castle?”
“I… I think I am the owner of this place. I can’t go out”, he said looking down.
“Oh… Can you show me the exit?”, you asked him hoping to just leave the castle.
“Exit? This place has no exit. I searched but couldn’t find”, he said to your surprise. ‘What the hell is this new problem’, you thought as you looked around.
He walked towards the window and leaned his elbows on the window sill. Looking at the stars he said, “You can’t find it. You won’t be able to. I also want to leave”
“Didn’t you ever think about escaping?”, you asked him as he continued to stare at the sky. “I don’t know. When ever I think about it, I get the question of, why I should even leave?”
‘I don’t know what is happening with this guy but… I guess if I involve, I’ll definitely be in a big problem’, you thought
“That’s pretty lonely stuff right there. What is your name? I’m Y/N by the way”
“I…”, he turned towards you and continued, “Sabo… yeah, Sabo is my name”.
“Oh okay then Sabo, even if you don’t wanna go, I intend to leave. My friends are waiting for me”, you said, ignoring the fact that your heart was beating faster because of him, as if he was the answer, but… to what?
“Friends?”, he asked
“Yeah, So, Sabo… wanna escape if you have a chance?”, you asked him. Why do you want him to come with you? What is this blond man having this effect on you?
“Can I? Are you sure that I can?”, he asked clearly wanting to know the answer.
“Yeah, how about jumping from here for starters sake?”, you ask him but he shakes his head no.
“I tried. I got back here again”, he sighed and continued, “I even tried to destroy the castle but nothing happened to it. It feels like, its mocking me for being the strongest”
He again looked out the window and said, “I don’t know if it’s a riddle that needs to be solved but, I feel like the stars are trying to say something. But I can’t understand what”. You look at the stars and then you see that, some stars are in the shape of the letter ‘J’. You walked towards the window and stood beside him. You remember teaching someone about constellations before. But… who was it?
“You… you are correct. The stars… It’s a constellation”, you replied to him and he perked up with curiosity. You observed the constellation and your hunch was correct. Pointing towards the stars, you said, “See, its looking like a letter ‘J’ if you observe”, he keenly observed and yes it was a visible to him.
“Yes, so what does it mean?”, he asked you and you continued, “Its Scorpius, according to the Greek mythology, it represents the deadly scorpion that kills Orion, the hunter, who was really proud of himself for his hunting abilities. Once there was a hunter, Orion, bragged to kill the animals of the world, but Apollo, sky god, didn’t like his attitude, so he sent a scorpion, who would end the hunter, Orion”, he placed his hand on his head and closed his eyes tightly.
“What happened?”, you questioned him.
“It… it just feels like… someone used to talk with me about constellations before. But I can’t seem to remember”, he admitted and then enquired, “So, why do you think the stars were trying to convey it?”
“I may be wrong but… I feel like, the castle is like the hunter. You said that, it was mocking you. But I feel like, it can be destroyed”, you ended as you took Sabo’s hand in yours and walked towards the centre of the castle. If you weren’t so concentrated to destroy the castle, you could’ve heard how loud Sabo’s heart beat was getting.
You observed that, the celling indeed had designs of Scorpius and Orion on it, with a star between them. Pointing towards it, you said, “Lets aim the star between Orion and the Scorpius”. Without hesitating, Sabo nodded and you both aimed at it and placed a single hit. Suddenly, the castle started to shake and cracks were forming quickly.
“I think we did it”, you said and then gasp suddenly, you felt Sabo pick you up like a princess and run towards the window. “We don’t have all day, Lets jump”, he said before jumping. You hugged him tight and he also did the same.
After you two tightly held each other, you didn’t feel any ground hit you. You both opened your eyes and you both were in the dimly lit, library room, where you were searching for the book and found the painting.
You looked up and saw that, you were still holding Sabo… Sabo, your boyfriend, whom you forgot about.
“Sabo? Why did I forget you?”, you asked him tears threatening to fall from your eyes, as he looks at you. He exhales and looks around the place and then at you again.
“Y/N! Its you. Its you!”, he exclaimed as you hugged you tightly. Pulling back he kissed the tears on your cheeks.
“Why did I forget you? It felt like no one remembered you? You were the one who was assigned this mission. How did this happen?”, you wine and sob at the same time.
“When I reached this place, the merchant wasn’t in town, so we decided to wait to catch him and free the new kidnapped people he would bring with him. But I got to know about this cursed castle and infiltrated this library to find book, that you’d like to read about it. Then I broke this door open and tried to bring the painting to you. Then got stuck in it”, he wiped the tears again from your cheeks and continued, “I didn’t remember anyone from this world, but I swear, I missed you. Thankyou for coming here and saving me, Y/N”, he said as he leaned his forehead to yours.
“I… I missed you too. I felt like there was something missing always. I used to cry without any reason”, you sobbed as he nodded and apologised for making you cry. You both exited the library after a while and headed towards the room you were given, still holding hands.
“You know, we found the merchant and freed the people who were kidnapped. For the first time no one messed up my plan”, you said to him only to receive a chuckle in return.
“Is that so. I hope its enough for this life. Get ready now because, your plans will be disturbed again”, he said making you laugh.
After reaching the room, you and Sabo cuddled next to each other as you both tried to sleep. You both kissed goodnight and slept. The next day, everyone were shocked to see and also remember Sabo. They were so confused at the incident and couldn’t figure out why they forgot about Sabo. You both never mentioned about the incident and the cursed castle painting was destroyed thanks to you two. He was the answer that you were looking for.
XOXOXOXO
I hope you liked it! Thankyou for reading. I am no expert in all the constellations. I just did some research on it. Nothing more. Sorry if I made any mistakes.
Like and comment your feelings.
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#one piece sabo#sabo one piece#revolutionary sabo#op sabo#sabo x reader#one piece#one piece x reader#one piece x you#one piece x y/n#SABO#One Piece Fanfiction#one piece fluff#x reader
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Hazbin Hotel's Double Plot: Charlie and Angel Dust - Or - Why Charlie and Angel Dust are Both Main Characters (And I love one more than the other)
By: Peggy Sue Wood | @peggyseditorial
Welcome to Storytelling Class, everyone. Now, who remembered to brush up on their Shakespeare? No one? Not to worry, Prof. Peggy (not official... yet) is going to explain it all anyway with a bunch of unnecessary questions she plans to answer for you. Ready?
Here's a question: What is a double plot?
It's a more common occurrence in storytelling than you may think and is sometimes mistaken for subplot though the two are not the same. Shakespeare used double plots in several of his works, though King Lear is the most common example. We generally call a double plot structure that which takes two stories with combined plotlines. The two stories could stand alone but are purposefully combined to depict complex situations mirroring each other, often to comment upon or reinterpret events that transpire in other dramatic situations. "Often this takes the form of relatively minor characters and plotlines doubling events and situations from the 'main' dramatic narrative" (Reinke 1, LINK). The main characters of the "second" plot are often supporting characters in the "main" story and vice-versa, meaning that the main characters in the "main" story may act as supporting characters in the "second" plot.
Subplots have entirely different focuses that ultimately guide the main plot, such as on a hero's quest, the hero's party must split into groups to find different items for a magical spell. Following the group that went away from the party in different chapters is an example of a subplot, as this is a subordinate "plots" that serve the progression of the main one. A good indicator of a double plot instead of a subplot is figuring out whether or not the two plots could stand alone.
John Lithgow, far left, with Clarke Peters in the Shakespeare in the Park production of "King Lear" at the Delacorte Theater. Credit: Sara Krulwich/The New York Times
Using King Lear as an example, our "main" plot features King Lear as the main character of his tragedy, and the "second" plot features Lord Gloucester in a tragedy mirroring King Lear's story. In both plots, the main characters suffer from their past choices. A more modern example would be that of Netflix's Russian Doll, in which we follow two distinctive main characters suffering from, and traversing, a similar path. We can define them as double plots because splitting the two stories in each work to create separate works with connected characters would still work. (Essentially, the two stories of each work can stand alone--we don't need to know what is happening to Lord Gloucester to get what is going on in King Lear's story. It helps to know that Lord Gloucester's story, but it is not required to understand Lear's story since what will be important to Lear’s plot will be revealed to Lear’s character later on.)
Another example of a double plot structure in a modern work would be that of Hazbin Hotel--let's discuss.
We often define a plot by three things. First, the main character; second, the question that said character needs to answer; and, third, the problem(s) that led them to seek an answer to the asked question. In a double plot, you have to answer the first and third questions twice, which we can easily do with Hazbin Hotel.
Let's start with Question 1. Who is/are the main character(s)? I've stated that it is Charlie and Angel Dust, but why? Two reasons. The first is how each character is introduced, and the second is that they are both asking the same question, though with different reasons behind it.
In the Prologue/Chapter 1 of the Hazbin Hotel comic, the first character we are introduced to is Angel Dust. He is our introduction into this fictional world, and his story follows the hero's journey narrative making him one of the main characters and defining his story as at least one, if not the main, plot in our double plot structure. Charlie is one of the two main characters for the same reasons. She also appears in that first chapter near the end (just like King Lear, who comes in after Lord Gloucester's introduction), and is beginning a hero's journey of her own. Both their stories ask the same question but have different reasons for seeking the answer.
Beginning with Angel Dust, we see that his story starts in a comfort zone--that zone being a criminal lifestyle shown with him trying to make a deal with some demonic mafioso-looking dudes. We soon find out that he's actually acting out despite appearing comfortable in this kind of situation because he what? Wants something, that's right (I knew you were a smart cookie).
When the deal with the mafia-demons doesn't go so well, we see him thrown into a familiar though much worse situation with his abuser and pimp, Valentino. This is our introduction to the main problems in Angel's current life, the issues that are making him want something outside of his comfort zone. To get what he wants, Angel must enter an unfamiliar, perhaps dangerous, territory and adapt to it until he achieves the goal or fails trying, and the person that provides the opportunity for entering the unfamiliar world, the Hazbin Hotel, is Charlie.
With Charlie's introduction at the end of chapter one, we begin seeing her hero's journey unfold. At present (her meeting Angel Dust), she is seen in her comfort zone. She's in a chauffeured limo with her bodyguard girlfriend, comfortably giving money to Angel Dust and acting as a somewhat naive and rather hopeful princess you might find in any fairytale story. She wants something but has yet to enter the unfamiliar situation (at least until episode 1, where Alistar steps in but that's not important right now). This closes the comic, but perfectly sets up the double plot narrative moving forward, thus helping to identify our two main characters.
What fully defines them as the main characters, my second reason for claiming both Angel Dust and Charlie to be one, is that second question we have for defining plot (the question that the main character needs to answer).
Charlie says that the goal, or question she seeks to answer, is whether or not a sinner can be redeemed once they find themselves in Hell; however, I would argue that the real question is whether or not salvation (preservation or deliverance from harm, ruin, or loss) is possible for Hell's population. Charlie's "redemption" is instead a method to seek the answer to the question rather than the question itself.
I argue this because that seems to be the end-goal Charlie is seeking for the citizens of Hell--salvation from being slaughtered on an annual basis. It is also the goal of Angel Dust, who seeks to be saved from his current life through his own hands or by someone else (though he doesn't seem to believe that someone else would help him without costing him something in return). For those of you wondering, Angel seems to be seeking an escape from many things, such as needing to trade sexual favors to his landlord because Valentino doesn't pay him well, an escape from hunger, and potentially other physical dangers.
The two are both seeking answers to this question but going about it in somewhat different ways.
In a recent video by Diregentleman, Why Angel Dust Should Be The Protagonist In Hazbin Hotel (it's brilliant, btw--a highly recommended watch if you have the time because most all his points are great), he argues that because Angel's story is more compelling and interesting, he should be the main character and while I agree that Angel's story is more compelling to myself as a viewer (just as I felt Lord Gloucester's story was far better than King Lear's parts), I still think Charlie's story worth the focus it is given in tandem with Angel Dust's.
WITH THAT CONCLUDED, I want to talk about my favorite character, Angel Dust! The lesson is over--let's nerd out.
I have been thinking about this A LOT since Episode 1 came out, and when "Addict" dropped, I was pumped. In October of last year, I uploaded the first draft for the review into the Google file our team shares but had been writing said draft for a long while already, and watching Diregentleman's video pushed me over the edge to scrap the planned post that should have gone up at 7 AM this morning and instead re-write and post this. Because as much as I loath spiders--I LOVE Angel Dust.
Gosh, where do I begin….
Angel has been beaten down to the point that his character is a tad bit all over the place. Is he the villain? Sort of? At least, he comes off as one since he's not working very hard to fulfill his end of the bargain with Charlie and since he is a demon--but he also has qualities that are very much fitting the "redemption" Charlie is aiming for without any prompting. In fact, it's what made him so likable to me before the music video release of "Addict"--which just made me love him more. What do I mean?
Well, in the first episode, we see him just coming back from prostituting himself--a job he appears to be forced to do by Valentino (one of the big-bads of Viziepop's Hell):
Valentino: Did you get my money, Angie Baby?
Angle: I'm wittha John now [sic]. I don't get why this needed to happen so soon after the extermination tho, Boss
Valentino: Just do it. No sass k sugar.
Angle: yes Val
He then buys drugs, which get stolen only to see a large piece of a building fall onto the would-be thief. Is he worried about the thief? No. Angel is only concerned with the drugs. Immediately after that, he joins a turf war with a friend of his, Cherri Bomb, and participates in wrecking what remains of the city from the previous night's purging (when Angels descend upon Hell and kill off a bunch of Hell's populous).
Cherri is his friend, and it is at this moment, we see his first redeeming quality in the animated pilot--a self-sacrificing protective nature for a friend. How? You may ask, well, Angel is shown saving Cherri. It happens when Angel sees a weapon pointed at them, something that Cherri doesn't notice. He pushes her out of the way, unsure of what may happen, thereby allowing himself to be captured (or potentially injured) instead of her.
That's self-sacrificing and is generally considered a "righteous" quality.
It's not like she could be killed--they're already dead and, from what we've learned, the already dead demons of Hell can only be killed by weapons the angels use or that which is made of the material angels use during the culling period that just ended the night before. The egg creature is not using one of these weapons at this moment, meaning that Cherri is not in danger of death, only injury.
Despite knowing that Cherri would ultimately be fine, Angel pushes her out of the way and takes the injury risk. (If he suspected that the weapon might kill her, then even more kudos to him here as that means he threw his life before his friend's.) This moment shows that Angel does value life outside of himself, which doesn't immediately come across when we meet him given the crushed thief moment we had prior.
This act of self-sacrificing, which is generally considered a virtue, shows that he has potential to change.
Expanding from this, we see him empathizing with Charlie and expressing a moment of guilt. The scene happens after Angel, Charlie, and Vaggy return to the hotel. Angel is presented with the opportunity to "change" (offer an apology to Charlie that he actually means), an opportunity he doesn't take, but the fact that he's considering it when he previously felt no guilt for his actions shows that he is capable of it.
Once Alistar comes into play, we see more of Angel's potential to change. For example, Angel is shown holding Vaggy back from attacking Alistar, which could be read in two ways. Either he holds her back because he doesn't want Alistar to leave (unlikely that Alistar would leave over Vaggy's attack), or Angel is preventing Vaggy from running at Alistar and potentially getting hurt, a very strong possibility that we learn through Vaggy's comment about how powerful the Radio Demon is and how he's grappled bigger demons on a larger scale to take over parts of the underworld.
If we're to believe the story elements pictured in the music video of "Addict," then Angel is in a horrible spot. He's being abused and treated like a working slave to Valentino with little hope of escape on his own and few options to reach out to for help (if one can even ask for help openly in Hell given the place and the people).
While Charlie is nice, shown by her giving Angel money and helping him avoid having to sell himself on the street that night for Valentino in the Prologue/Chapter 1 of the comic, she too has expectations for him or does it with an ulterior motive in mind. He's a big name in Hell, and she wants him for her program. While it may not be intentional, Charlie asking him to try the program in exchange for money sends the same message Angel points out during the offer: Nothing is free--even kindness, particularly from the Princess of Hell. No matter how cute and lovable she appears...
Charlie's story is less compelling, and it's not simply because she comes from a place of privilege, as I've heard some say. I mean, I love lots of stories with the rich and powerful, and if the many seasons of Dynasty can stand as an example--so do a lot of over people. Charlie's story is less compelling because we can't relate to her choices given the situation we see her in or the problems she's facing. For example, she has great political power that goes completely unused. She's a princess of hell, obviously not struggling too much since she's chauffeured around and seen atop a tall--safe--tower overlooking the purged city below in Episode 1. She isn't in a bad situation, from what we can tell, not the same way Angel Dust is, at least. Her problems are more like a passion project from what we've seen so far, and we don't know why she is motivated to make this redemption program work outside of wanting to help her people. But if she wants to help people, why the hotel?
She has power as a princess that she could use to help correct injustices in her kingdom, such as attempting to put an end to the turf-wards since it seems that the demons fighting for territory still follow and respect the royals and nobility to some degree. But, instead, she's created a program to change people into what she thinks is Heaven's ideal--a thing that may stop the culling by allowing demons to transition out into what? Angels? Spirits? Who knows. Regardless, it's a small-scale venture that doesn't attempt to use the influence she's been given to make sincere changes in the kingdom. Instead, she uses it to get publicity on a news station, and even that is a weak attempt. I mean, if she was doing this right, that new-caster shouldn't have been able to make a single nasty comment towards her during the whole process. I mean, I doubt the newscast would have said a thing had her parents been up there, which shows that she's walked all over and that she's let it happen.
My point is that Charlie's story doesn't yet make sense. It's harder for us, the audience, to put ourselves in her shoes than it is with Angel Dust, and that's why I love him more than other characters, and certainly more than his double plot counterpart, Charlie.
I look forward to seeing more of this series going forward and hope that Episode 2 comes out soon!
#angel dust#charlie#hazbin hotel#king lear#lord gloucester#shakespeare#double plot#hero journey#hero's journey#hero#protagonist#lit#literature lesson#literature#storytelling#angel#analysis
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As Time Passes Prologue : My Brother, part 1
AO3 link ; Prologue 1 (The Estate)
A collection of scenes from Vinnie’s early life. From his younger years as a toddler to his last years as a teen. From a life of fear to a life of uncertainty. From an abused child relying on the only good people in his life to a young adult determined to make things right for them.
TRIGGER WARNING : child abuse, violence, depression, mentions of drug and alcohol, infidelity. Basically anything that goes with messed up abusive parents. And to that regard, this fic is NOT made to romanticize abuse or mental illness ! There’s also a moment in part 2 mentioning a dystopic future with the urbanization of the world and its consequences on every species (it’s only one part and you see it coming). This also means mentions of animal abuse and LITERAL animal genocide !!
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Notes : Well, this took 8 months longer than expected…
Seriously. I started working on this chapter BEFORE “The Estate”, only deciding later to start with Cav’s backstory because it makes more sense given what I intend to write for chapters 3 and 4.
Though, that chapter is very, VERY long so that also explains the delay. And even despite the size, I feel like I tried to cram in too much elements and underdeveloped some stuff as a result. Like, that whole thing could be a fic in itself if I had enough ideas to fill the holes there and there.
On a lighter note, during that “hiatus”, I read the book “Wanderers” by Chuck Wending and one interlude gave me the idea of putting dates at the beginning of each new part of the story, which is going to come in VERY HANDY for the story (also the fact that the fic is called “As Time Passes” makes it even better).
As for the chapter itself, let’s just say that, after giving an idea of what Cavendish’s life used to be, now it’s time to show Dakota’s. Though, this chapter will be much longer and goes onto basically his entire life before B.O.T.T.. There are also a lot of dark stuff (as said in the trigger warning) because apparently my brain still hasn’t gotten past that teenager need to make anything as messed up as possible.
Regarding the sibling OCs, fun fact : the idea of Dakota having older siblings came partly from Tumblr and partly from my wish to have Dakota be an uncle due to how much the guy seems to love kids (but I don’t see him have his own, for reason that will be talked about in the main fic). Then, while listening to random songs and coming up with Dakavendish animations in my head (yeah I’m THAT kind of weirdo), I ended up listening to “A Guy Like You” from Disney Hunchback and suddenly Dakota had three siblings. Then all that needed to be done was give them a personality and choose which one would have a kid. And then make them all queer because I spend too much time on the internet.
Another thing about them, to make it easier at the beginning : there are four. And for the age-gap, as an example, the fic starts with the ages being 13 (Enzo “Enzie”), 9 (Bettina “Bettie”), 5 (Donatello “Donnie”) and 3 (Viviana “Vivie”/Vincenzo “Vinnie”).
(side-note about the writing at the beginning : using the wrong pronouns for a character is MUCH harder than I thought it would be)
Btw I don’t know how to draw so instead, if you want to see how the siblings look like, I made them in Miitopia (don’t ask). Here’s the link for it (just ignore my ramblings in this...).
Also, while the idea of him having siblings comes partly from my brain, the idea of Dakota being Italian is 100% from Tumblr and AO3 with like half the Dakavendish fandom who seems to follow this headcanon. Hell, I even have an irl friend who told me Dakota gives them a European vibe while I was telling them that one of the reasons people saw him as trans was his height.
(and I guess you could say the same thing about him having heterochromia and being colorblind ; all the credit for these two ideas goes to the fandom)
Btw, despite them being Italians, the dialogue is in english. In future chapters tho, depending on the character’s POV, some dialogue will either be in Italian or in English in italics.
And fun fact : while googling Italian names to help me name these characters, I discovered that there’s an Italian name that’s “Baldassare” and this is 100% how Dakota’s siblings and nephew/nieces would call Cavendish.
And one last “””fun””” fact : the character of Enzo is partly inspired by a guy I know who, by the age of 6, was the one to wake up, dress, feed, bring to school and overall raise his 4 younger siblings. And if you’re wondering, the guy is 23 now and is doing pretty fine (much, MUCH better than the shit I plan for my OC here). And no, the name of the OC isn’t inspired by this guy. I looked up random Italian names for each sibling + Vinnie’s dead name.
Anyways, onto the fic now. Enjoy !
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January 10, 2134
The morning started with their usual routine.
Vivie was sleeping soundly, her brother Donnie by her side, until their oldest brother Enzie came to wake them up. Vivie could hear her sister Bettie grumble, not helped by Enzie urging her to get up. He would always claim that, unlike the other two, she needed to be ready early. They didn’t go to school at the same hours. First it was Bettie, then Donnie, and finally Vivie was brought to the nursery.
Enzie also went to school. Bettie once said that Enzie always turned out late because his school started before them. But Enzie always insisted to take care of them first. The older brother didn’t like letting them alone with Mamma. And, truth be told, Vivie didn’t like it either.
Once Enzie reached their bed, Donnie pretended to still be sleeping and made snoring noises. Sometimes, Vivie would do the same. Today though, she just giggled, listening to her brothers argue.
She couldn’t open her eyes. The light hurt her. So she waited for her brothers to be done, for Enzie to focus his attention to her and give her her sunglasses.
Then, the four kids sat on the beds to have their breakfast, taking out the bags hiding under their beds. Years ago, way before Vivie was born, Enzie had decided that they should all hide their fruits and snacks in the bedroom instead of in the kitchen where Mamma could take them, and the others obeyed.
Enzie was always worried about food. Even though Mamma brought enough for them to eat everyday if they shared in small portions, Enzie insisted that it was never enough, that kids like them needed more than that. He always told them that, if they found something to eat, they should eat until they were full and share if some was left. As a result, Bettie and Donnie often brought food back from their lunch at school.
As for Enzie, how he always found something for the three of them was a mystery. Vivie had heard Bettie get angry at her brother more than once, accusing him of stealing food and talking about how he was going to end up in prison. But then Enzie would show what he got her, and she would stop yelling. But Vivie could see that she was still angry, and it made her sad too. Vivie heard that prison was bad, that the people who went left for a long time.
Vivie didn’t want Enzie to go to prison.
Who would take care of her, if Enzie was not here ?
…
…
Despite her young age, Vivie would sometimes feel bad for Enzie. He was very nice and always helped her when she was upset. But was anybody helping him ? Enzie slept on the scratchy couch in the living-room to let Bettie have her own bed. He refused to eat until his siblings ate enough. He helped Bettie with her homework before doing his. He never slept if one of them wasn’t, willing to tell as many songs and story as needed. He always went outside with them to watch over them. If one of them needed something from Mamma, he would talk to her for them.
Vivie couldn’t talk that well yet. While she knew a few words, she was said to be behind on language. But while she couldn’t communicate, she could observe.
When she was at the nursery, Vivie would see the other children, the other families. She was told about how a family worked.
The parents took care of the children. The parents fed the children, helped them with their homework, told them bedtime stories, watched over them, cared for them, have a bed for each one of them.
Mamma didn’t do any of this. She never did.
Mamma was just there, in the house, with them. Enzie told them not to talk to her. She could be dangerous when she was bothered.
And yet, she would go to them sometimes. She would go outside with them, just walking ahead as she brought Donnie and Vivie to the closest playground. She would mention them on the phone. Vivie even saw her go to Bettie’s school play once.
But the rest of the time, she would be lying down somewhere in “her side” of the house, glaring when any of her children would come close all the while holding one of those bottles Enzie completely forbid them to touch. Or she would be out of the house, especially at night, going to what Vivie supposed was her job.
So, since she was never there, Enzie took care of them.
It wasn’t normal. It wasn’t how the other children lived. Enzie was not an adult, at least Vivie didn’t think so. Bettie said he was as much of a child as she was.
But Vivie couldn’t do anything about it. As of right now, all she could do was finish her morning snack, brush her teeth, let Enzie dress her up and follow her older siblings as they packed for school, listening to the same instructions Enzie gave them each day : “Don’t go with any strangers.”, “Listen to your teachers.”, “Don’t get in trouble.”
Maybe it wasn’t normal, but it was all that Vivie knew. And at the very least, she supposed it was better than nothing.
---------------
October 30, 2134
Vivie didn’t understand how she ended up here, on the examination table of the nearest doctor. She had been in the bedroom, getting yelled at by Donnie for taking his clothes. She always liked his clothes more than her own. But when Enzie arrived to investigate the noise, a confusion happened.
Donnie complained that Vivie took his yellow shirt and his red pants. And while Vivie couldn’t lie about that, she insisted that everything she was wearing was of the same color and that Donnie was using two words that meant the same thing. While Donnie and Vivie went back and forth about colors, Enzie went to pick up a few clothes. He then quickly interrupted his younger siblings, sat Vivie down and asked her to tell him the color of each outfit.
The four years-old was confused but decided to comply. Describing blue shirts, purple costumes and pink underwear. But then, there was the color of the clothes she was wearing, a color Vivie had heard being called by three different names : yellow, red and green.
Each time the clothes would have this color, she would use one of those words randomly, getting several huffs from Donnie, making her feel like she was doing something wrong.
After a few more, the thirteen years-old asked Donnie to close the blinds and turn off every light, which the six years-old quickly did. Then, Enzie requested that his sister remove her sunglasses.
They tried his game again, leading to the same results. The girl started sniffing while twirling one temple of her sunglasses. Was there something wrong with her ? Were her eyes wrong again ? Enzie was quick to hold her and calm her down, singing her her favorite lullaby.
Next thing Vivie knew, she was walked to the hospital by her brother. There, a doctor tried to look at her eyes with a light, leading to a lot of struggling from the young child. He then followed with a guessing game with numbers hidden inside colored circles. It was only then that the doctor explained what was wrong with her.
He called it “color-blindness”. It meant that she didn’t see colors the same way other people did, the same way her siblings did. In his explanation, the doctor mentioned how it was incredibly rare for a girl to be colorblind without any sibling or parent being colorblind as well. Enzie replied that he never questioned his parents about it. And while Mamma seemed able to see colors just fine, the teen had no idea if Papà was the same as her.
But, in any case, there was a way to partially fix this.
The doctor excused himself for a minute, letting the anxious teen and the fidgety child alone. Enzie went to sit next to his sister, who was quick to jump on his lap. He ran a finger through the toddler’s curly hair and she pressed her head against his chest. She smiled, feeling peaceful and safe in his arms.
When the doctor came back, he was holding a small pair of glasses with orange lens, along with two identical balls. Enzie stood back up and the doctor gave the plastic balls to the toddler, telling her to raise her head so that he could put the new glasses.
Once Vivie opened her eyes with the new glasses in place, she found herself squeal in surprise.
The balls in her hands, they weren’t the same color at all ! And those colors…had she even seen them before ?!
While the doctor was talking to her brother, Vivie kept putting the glasses on and off, noticing the immediate difference in colors. How could this even be ?!
But before she could ask any question, Enzie gave her the other pair of sunglasses, took her in his arms, thanked the doctor and left the office.
Vivie seated herself in her brother’s arms, the movement from his walking slowly rocking her to sleep.
“Vivie ?”, the teen’s voice took away the fog in her mind.
“huh ?”
“Did you like seeing those colors with the new glasses ?”
“uh-huh.”, the toddler nodded.
“Do you want to have glasses like that all the time.”
“Yes !”, she replied, her head snapping away from Enzie’s shoulder.
“Then this Saturday we’ll got get you a pair. Okay ?”
“Okay !”
“Good. Now let’s go back home before Donnie or Bettie get on mamma’s nerves.”
As the teenager walked at a fast pace, a new question arose in his sister’s mind.
“Enzie ?”
“Yes ?”
“Do you…you will fall down for my new glasses ?”, the toddler asked full of worry. Bettie had told her the story of how she got her sunglasses. Apparently, she had refused to open her eyes as a baby and, everytime Enzie asked mamma to go see a doctor, she refused. She “didn’t care enough”, Bettie said. So Enzie decided to give her a reason to go, and jumped from a window, forcing mamma to bring him to the hospital, where the then-child was able to convince the doctor to help Vivie.
“Will I…oh ! Oh no, don’t worry !”, the teenager’s laugh didn’t do anything to ease Vivie’s worry. She pouted.
“Do not get hurt !”, she insisted.
“I promise you Vivie, we’re just going to go to a store. I…”, he looked away. “I can get the money for it…I mean…I’m sure mamma wouldn’t mind losing a few euros…”
“Mamma will help ? With no you falling ?”
“She will.”, Enzie assured. “And I won’t fall. Don’t worry about it, piccolina. Everything’s going to be alright.”
---------------
July 4, 2136
Vivie was hiding in a closet. She had done it again. She had taken Donnie’s clothes.
It was something she did a lot, something she had done for a long time now.
It wasn’t that she found it fun to annoy Donnie ! She just didn’t like her clothes. Bettie had tried to get her “good-looking girl clothes” with the little money they had for it, but Vivie couldn’t care less. She only wore the same few outfits, the ones that Bettie never called “girly”. The only “girly” thing she continuously wore was a heart-shaped pink hairclip, but only because it made her sister very happy.
She didn’t want “pretty girl clothes”, she liked Donnie’s clothes more, even if they were too big for her. She actually liked the size of these clothes, as she could flap her hands with the too-long sleeves of his winter shirts.
Sometimes, when Vivie wore his clothes, Donnie would just let it go and they’ll keep playing together. But other times, like today, Donnie got upset by it. And now, the seven years-old had gone to fetch their older brother.
So Vivie stayed hidden, not wanting to face Enzie’s anger. Las time she saw him, the fifteen years-old had been with Bettie, busy doing homework. And Enzie didn’t like being interrupted by their “small and stupid arguments”, as he once put it. Especially for homework. For the last year, he had been complaining more and more about how he never had the time to just sit down and work with three noisy kids running around and needing him left and right.
Still, it didn’t take long for the child to hear the sound of his footsteps getting louder and louder as he approached.
“Vivie !”, the older brother called.
“I’m not here !”, the five years-old replied. She heard her brother sigh.
“Vivie, come out there. We need to have a talk.”
“I don’t want to !”, another sigh.
“Vivie, I’m not mad at you. Just come out. I’m not going to yell.”
“...Promise ?”
“Promise.”
Tentatively, Vivie opened the closet’s door and caught sign of her brother. He was sitting on her and Donnie’s bed. As she opened the door a little more, he patted the space next to him.
She left the closet and went to sit on the bed. Enzie watched as the child scooted over towards him, looked at his face, scooted a little more, looked at him again and finally moved to sit on his knees.
“You want to talk ?”, Vivie asked.
The teen nodded.
“You’re not angry ?”
He shook his head. Vivie looked in front of her as she considered it. If Enzie wasn’t angry about the clothes, then why did he want to talk to her ? But her thoughts were interrupted by the fifteen years-old putting a hand in her hair, prompting his sister to snuggle against his chest.
“Polpetta ?”
“Yeah ?”
“Why do you keep stealing Donnie’s clothes ?”
“I don’t steal them.”, Vivie protested. “I wear them.”
“And why don’t you wear your clothes ? You don’t like them ?”, Enzie’s voice was calm and soft, though Vivie could still hear the sternness and tiredness his voice often carried.
The child shook her head as a reply.
“But you like Donnie’s clothes ?”
“Yes.”
“Why do you like them more than yours ?”
Vivie had to pause to think for a moment. With her worry from earlier and the drowsiness form feeling a hand play with her hair, she found it hard to think.
“Is it because of the colors ?”, Enzie continued. “Or the size ? Or is it because you have girl clothes ?”
“Yes ! That !”, she suddenly jerked.
“You don’t like girl clothes ?”
“Nuh-uh.”, she replied.
“Why not ?”
Vivie was back to thinking. Why didn’t she like girl clothes ? She knew she didn’t like it when Bettie called them girl clothes, but why ?
“Do you want me to tell you what I think ?”, Enzie asked with a smile. Vivie looked up at his face and the teen chuckled. “I think you don’t like girl clothes because you don’t like being a girl. Do you like being a girl ?”
Yet again, Vivie looked away with a frown as she tried to concentrate. Was it true ? Did she not like being a girl ?
Vivie didn’t like her girl clothes. She didn’t like people pointing at her and saying she was a girl. And everytime Bettie wanted to play with her, Vivie would refuse. She didn’t like playing dress-up with Bettie. She preferred to play marbles or yoyo with Donnie. Even at school, she tried and liked spending time with boys more than girls, even though the largest group of boys always rejected her.
But were all these feelings because she wasn’t a girl ?
“I dunno.”, she finally replied, looking at Enzie with a pleading look, as if her brother held all the answers.
“Let me put it that way.”, the teenager continued. “If you were a boy, would you be happy about it ? Just imagine yourself as a boy. With boy clothes. A boy’s voice. A boy’s name.”
Vivie did. She could picture herself among the other boys of kindergarten. She looked like them, talked like them, belonged with them. The thought made her smile. When she opened her eyes, she bounced, looking at her brother with a smile.
“I want to be a boy !”, she exclaimed.
“Are you sure ?”
Vivie nodded excitedly.
“Alright then.”, the teen shrugged. “Polpetta-to, since you’re so eager at the thought of being a boy, how about we got get the tablet downstair to find you an actual boy’s name ? And see if you like it ?”
Vivie jumped off of Enzie’s laps and ran downstairs, leaving the room before the teenager even had the time to stand up.
Half an hour later and the two siblings were still at the coffee table, Enzie reading through a list of names starting with the letter “v”. Vivie wanted a new name that sounded like her current one.
“Vittore ?”
“ummm. No.”
“What about Vladimir ?”
“…Maybe ?”
“We could call you Vladdie. Or Vaddie.”
“no.”
“Are you even sure you want a new name ? Maybe I was wrong earlier when I said you were a boy.”
“No ! You’re not wrong ! I’m a boy ! I want a boy’s name ! Just like you and Donnie !”
“Alright then.”, the teen sighed. He mumbled something.
“huh ?”
“Nevermind. How abou-“
“What are you two doing ?”, Vivie’s head perked up at the sound of Bettie’s voice. The eleven years-old was on top of the stairs, trying to look at the tablet over Enzie’s shoulder.
“Looking for a name for our little brother over here.”, the teen replied. “Where’s Donnie ?”
“In the bedroom.”, Bettie walked down the stairs. “You know Enzie, when I complained that Vivie acts like she wants to be a boy instead of being stuck as a girl, I was joking.”
“Maybe you were but he wasn’t. At least I think.”
he…their brother… Vivie liked being called that.
“Then…it looks like I don’t have a little sister after all.”, Bettie commented with a hint of sadness in her voice. This made Vivie frown. Sh-…He didn’t want to make his sister sad.
“Maybe not,”, the oldest brother defended. “but instead, you have a great little brother.”
“I guess…”, she went to stand near Vivie, her younger brother. “So,”, she continued. “you’re looking for a boy’s name ?”
“Uh-huh !”, the child replied.
“Found anything you like yet ?”
“We’re trying.”, Enzie replied, putting his head back onto the list.
With the teen’s attention away, Bettie turned back to Vivie.
“Say, once you’re done with that, how about we go return your clothes and buy you better ones ?”
“Yes !”, Vivie jumped in his seat. That’s when he remembered the hairclip he was still wearing. He took it off and presented it to Bettie. “For you.”, he explained. “I won’t wear it now. But you like it. So you should wear it.”
Bettie smiled. “Alright. Whatever you say, patatino.”, she looked at Enzie. “Found other names ?”
“You have Vivaldo, Vidone, Vezio, Vincenzo or Vincent in English,-”
“Vincenzo ?”, for some reason, the name stuck with him. Vincenzo…
“Do you like it ?”, Bettie asked. Vivie nodded. “You want to be called Vincenzo ?”
“I think so…yeah…yes ! I want to be Vincenzo !”
“Finally !”, Enzie sighed, dropping the tablet on the table. The two younger siblings just stared at him, until he glanced back and smirked. Bettie laughed.
“Let’s go return your old clothes, Vincenzo.”, the sister said, already on the move.
“Coming !”, the youngest sibling jumped to follow but was interrupted by a hand on his shoulder. Enzie ruffled his hair with a smile.
“Hope you’re going to enjoy being a boy, Vinnie.”
When the evening came, there was one last thing to do.
Vincenzo…Vinnie was standing in the doorway, his fingers tapping the wall as he anxiously watched Enzie walking towards Mamma. The woman was in the kitchen, making herself one of those drink Enzie prevented them to touch.
“…Claudia ?”, the teen asked.
“You know better than to bother me, Enzo.”, Mamma replied in a sharp tone without looking up from her bottle. She took a sip while Enzie seemed to gather his courage.
“It’s about-“
“Enzo.”, Mamma warned. Vinnie didn’t miss how her hand moved to the top of the bottle and he shivered, grabbing the wall. He knew exactly what mamma could do when she was angry.
“Vinnie is a boy, not a girl !”, the fifteen years-old blurted out before taking a few steps back.
Mamma turned around and glared at her son, but she didn’t make a move to hit him. Still, this didn’t make Vinnie feel any less tense.
“Vivie…Viviana. His name is Vincenzo now. He’s a boy.”, Enzie continued with a firmer voice.
Mamma’s gaze seemed to lose some of its anger, though she still gave the teen a dirty look. After a few seconds, she glanced at the child at the door and Vinnie froze. She started to make her way towards him, almost instantly followed by Enzie who ran to his little brother, holding him protectively against his chest.
Mamma ignored him, her gaze on her youngest child. Vinnie looked down, gripping Enzie’s shirt in fear.
“Very well, Vincenzo. And please make your brother understand not to bother me when I’m busy or he’ll deeply regret this.”, and with that, she went to her bedroom, bottle in hand.
Once she was out of view, Enzie let out a deep sigh of relief and let go of his brother. Vinnie continued to cling on his shirt for a moment. He started crying and buried his head in Enzie’s chest, trying to cover his sobs. The older brother ran his fingers in Vinnie’s hair in a soothing motion.
“Shhh, let it all out. It’s okay to cry.”, Vinnie kept his head where it was, though his sobs became louder. “There you go. It’s alright. Everything’s alright.”, Enzie was right, and Vinnie knew it.
Vinnie had a new name. He had new clothes.
His siblings supported him.
Enzie told him that, if he did continue to feel like a boy, there could be a few changes for him to do once he’s older, at least if he wished to. Enzie promised he would do anything to make sure these changes happen.
But for now, they did everything that could be done.
They talked to mamma.
Mamma had accepted him.
…
He was going to be alright.
As long as he stayed away from mamma, as long as he kept listening to Enzie, everything was going to be fine.
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March 22, 2137
Vinnie didn’t know what to make of Papà.
As far as the six years-old could remember, which wasn’t a lot, papà would show up from time to time starting in January. He would spend the afternoon talking to mamma, or going to her bedroom, and then he would leave.
Papà never stayed the entire night. He never showed up two days in a row.
And once spring was coming to an end, during the first days of July, he would leave and not come back for the rest of the year.
Vinnie was curious about the man. He was his papà after all ! But he never got to interact with him, never got to sit down and talk to him. He wanted to learn who he was, what he liked, why he was only here from time to time and why it was only during winter and spring…
Vinnie had tried asking his siblings about papà, but none of them gave him a satisfying answer.
Donnie was as lost as he was. He never had an opportunity to talk to papà, always afraid to run into mamma or to have Enzie yell at him for it.
Bettie looked at Vinnie with sad eyes, told him not to go see papà, that he was dangerous. When the brother asked why, the twelve years-old refused to answer.
As for Enzie…
Enzie didn’t like papà. He said papà was very dangerous, that he didn’t care about them, that the four kids shouldn’t waste their time with him.
Everytime the kids would stumble across him while walking through the house, papà would stop in his tracks to gaze at them with an indecipherable expression. Enzie would immediately shush his younger siblings away, all while glaring at the man. Sometimes, Vinnie would look at his papà and see him glare back at the teen.
While Vinnie didn’t know much about his papà, since he never got to interact with him, there was at least one thing he was sure of.
Enzie hated papà.
Papà hated Enzie.
And because of that, Enzie would never let his siblings approach him.
But one day, Vinnie got an occasion to talk to him.
Enzie was doing homework upstairs with Bettie. Now that the teenager was in high-school, and with the other siblings old enough to be unsupervised for a while, Enzie decided to spend more time working on his future. In the meantime, Bettie has chosen to step up and help him, looking after her younger siblings if needed.
But right now, neither of them was downstairs. Same thing for Donnie.
That was how Vinnie found himself peeking inside the living-room where his parents were. His papà was sitting on the couch with his arms and legs stretched out, while mamma seemed to be “making herself a drink” as Bettie called it. The child crouched down at the entrance and listened as his papà talked.
“-shouldn’t be there anyways.”
“You say the same thing every single year, Pietro. And yet, you always come crawling back to me. It’s been more than ten years. Just admit you can’t help it.”
“Just like you can’t help having your load of kids ? Do you have any idea how much they cost me ?!”
“You can stop sending me money any time you want.”, Vinnie could almost hear the laugh in her voice. “But I don’t think your little family will take it very well once I go to ask them for my money.”
Papà grumbled and looked away from her. “You’re the shittiest human being I ever met, Claudia. I hope you know that.”
“You’re no better yourself. Lying and cheating at any given chance. Honestly it’s a miracle she still doesn’t suspect a thing. You two really found each other. So naïve and in denial of the truth about the world. ~ ”
As mamma kept smirking and teasing papà, the man was getting more and more angry. Vinnie could see his hands gripping on the sofa, as if trying to rip it off. This made the child tense up at the prospect of his parents fighting.
“What now ?”, mamma suddenly spat in annoyance. The two adults glanced at Vinnie, and that’s when he realized that he had been anxiously tapping on the doorway’s wall, giving himself away with his noise.
“Umm…hi…”, Vinnie said in a quiet voice, waving awkwardly. Now that he had been caught spying, he might as well show himself more. Who knew, maybe this would be his only occasion ever to talk to papà !
Mamma just huffed and went back to pour her glass, while papà kept his eyes on the child.
“This is the youngest one, right ?”, papà asked. “Viviana ?”
“Vincenzo.”, mamma corrected before Vinnie could. “Turns out your daughter was a son this whole time.”
“And you changed her-his name, without my permission ?!”
“If you have a problem with that, you can talk to Enzo about it.”
Papà looked down, teeth gritted. “This child should learn a little respect.”, he spat.
“Have fun telling him that.”, mamma replied, completely impassive.
“Why don’t you at least try to teach that boy anything ?!”
“I don’t know. Why do you suddenly care about these children ?”, she shrugged. “Besides, Enzo’s almost an adult. He’s not my problem anymore.”
“You’re going to throw him out ?”
“He intends to throw himself out.”, mamma explained. “But maybe if you give us more financial support, he would have half a mind to stay.”, she joked. Papà was not amused at all.
The man punched the couch and fell silent, looking away from the mother and son. For a few moments, Vinnie just stood there, observing the man with hesitation. He knew he should be leaving, now. If Enzie saw him there, his older brother would kill him. But right now, as he felt so close to having a moment with the older man, his curiosity to meet his father was stronger than his fear of consequences.
Eventually, Vinnie saw papà’s fists unclench. This prompted the child to try and make a move. With hope to finally have a conversation with the man, Vinnie tentatively walked to the couch. When the man didn’t move, Vinnie put a hand on his knee.
Still no reaction.
Getting more and more hopeful, the six years-old hopped on his knees. Papà still didn’t move.
Well, it seemed like Vinnie had to start the conversation.
“I…um…”, Vinnie had his hands on his own knees, opening and closing his legs awkwardly as he thought of what to say. “I’m…I’m not Vivie anymore. I’m Vinnie now.”
No response.
After a few seconds, Vinnie started wondering if maybe his siblings were right. If maybe it would be better to just let it go and leave, especially seeing the dirty look mamma was giving him. But before the child could move, something he didn’t expect happened.
Papà put a hand on his back.
Vinnie froze and looked up. The man still wasn’t looking at him.
Without much thinking, Vinnie pressed his face against papà’s chest. Suddenly, the hand on his back start moving, reaching his shoulder and slowly rubbing it.
Vinnie looked up as papà looked down at his face. The child smiled but his gesture wasn’t reciprocated. The older man just seemed to study his face, keeping the same neutral expression.
Vinnie had no idea how much time wet by before papà decided to open his mouth.
“Why are you wearing those ?”, he asked, tapping the corner of Vinnie’s sunglasses.
Vinnie felt himself ready to jump in happiness. Papà was talking to him ! They were having an actual conversation ! He could learn more about him !
But instead, Vinnie did his best to stay calm, letting his only sign of excitement be the rapid movement of his legs. He really didn’t want to ruin the moment.
Besides, thinking of how papà had acted earlier made the child feel intimidated by the man.
“It’s..for my eyes.”, he explained. “The light is bad for my eyes. So I need to wear those. I also can’t see every color without them.”
“How did you get the money for that ?”, the man asked, glancing at mamma. “Why wasn’t I told about this ?”
“You would have known already if you spent more time here taking care of your children, since you suddenly seem to love them so much.”, she replied in a sharp tone. “Or would it be too suspicious for your dearest missus ? ~ ”
Papà didn’t replied, instead looking back at the child still in his lap. Vinnie didn’t really know what the adults were talking about, and he had a feeling it wasn’t something he was supposed to understand. If anybody were to take care of it, it would be Enzie.
Vinnie was still in his thoughts when papà lifted his head with a finger, taking a better look at his eyes. Remembering his experience at school, Vinnie instinctively grabbed the sides of his glasses in case papà tried to remove them.
“Your eyes…”, the man commented. “They’re different colors ?”
“Uh ? Oh ! Oh yes they are !”, Vinnie was quick to reply. He smiled again, seriously wondering why Enzie was so against them talking to papà. Sure, the man was a bit scary when talking with mamma, but at least he seemed to care about his son. More than mamma at least…Or, well, when he was around at least…
“Vincenzo ?”, papà was moving a hand in front of Vinnie’s face.
“Uh ? Oh ! right ! My eyes !”, Vinnie quickly pointed to his left eye, tapping the glass. “This one is blue. And this one-“, he pointed to his right eye. “is brown. Just like yours !”, he commented with a smile.
“…Sure.”
The man fell silent again and Vinnie looked down, trying to find another thing to say.
“…Sa-“
“VINNIE !”
Vinnie froze at the familiar and booming sound of his oldest brother’s voice.
Uh oh…
“Enz-“, papà tried.
“YOU GET AWAY FROM HIM !”
Enzie ran into the room, snatched the six years-old away and walked out, all while looking at the older man with a murderous stare. Vinnie was able to give one last glance at his parents before the door closed, seeing papà stare in confusion and anger at Enzie while mamma walked towards the man with the same impassive expression, as if she had expected something like that to happen.
With the door now closed, Enzie put his attention onto the scared child.
“WHAT WHERE YOU THINKING BEING WITH THEM ?!”
“I…I just wanted to talk to papà…”, Vinnie sheepishly replied, his head down.
“THAT MAN IS DANGEROUS, VINNIE !”
“But we were just talkin-“
“VINNIE !”
Vinnie fell quiet, finding himself unable to meet his brother’s gaze. He instead focused on the underside of the shirt he was gripping on.
After a few moments, Enzie managed to regain his composure. He sighed.
“Listen, Vinnie. I know you just want to talk to papà, but that man is a bad person. I’ve seen him hurt mamma before, he’s as dangerous as she is, if not more.”, Enzie lifted Vinnie’s head. “I just want you to be safe, polpetto, alright ?”, Vinnie nodded, still avoiding Enzie’s eyes. “Good.”, Enzie kissed his forehead. “Now let’s get back upstairs, alright ? I think I can already hear Donnie calling for you. ~ ”, the teen said in a way that Vinnie knew was an attempt to light up the mood.
“…Alright.”
Enzie held Vinnie’s hand as he led him to his bedroom. Vinnie just followed in silence, stuck into his own mind.
Enzie was a good person. He took care of Bettie, Donnie and him.
Enzie hated papà, and papà hated Enzie.
But did that really mean that papà was a bad person ?
Was there really no way he could prove that papà was better than Enzie thought ?
…
…Will Vinnie ever get the occasion to talk to him again ?
---------------
April 10, 2137
Enzie and Bettie talked a lot when they were doing homework. Sometimes, Vinnie would hide behind the office’s door to listen to them.
They talked about all kinds of topics. From school to the girls Bettie liked to even Donnie and Vinnie and how annoying the brothers could be at times, making the older duo feel exhausted.
But other times, they would talk about their parents, about how they felt about them.
It was obvious that Enzie hated those kinds of talks. But at the same time, he always seemed to use Bettie’s curiosity as an occasion to tell her to avoid being around them.
Bettie mostly asked questions about the relationship between her parents and why they acted the way they did. Enzie answered as best as he could, but even he barely knew about them.
However, among the flow of questions Vinnie heard Bettie ask, one in particular stood out to him.
Does mamma have other men in her life ? Does the four of us come from the same papà ?
When she asked this, Bettie was mostly talking about Donnie and how different the eight years-old looked compared to his siblings.
Curious, Vinnie started to pay attention to the facial features of his family and, soon enough, the six years-old understood what his sister meant :
Out of all of them, Donnie was the only one who didn’t look like papà at all.
Enzie was almost a perfect replica of papà. He had the man’s square chin and nose, his thick eyebrows that were more than often furrowed, along with papà’s curly hair that, in Enzie’s case, was slowly growing past his shoulders. Vinnie wondered how much the sixteen years-old hated looking so much like the man he despised more than anyone else. The only real difference between the men was color, with Enzie having mamma’s black hair and blue eyes where papà had brown eyes and light brown hair.
Vinnie was the second closest to papà. Just like Enzie, he had his old man’s chin, nose and curly hair, though his chin wasn’t as pronounced as his oldest brother. Vinnie even had a brown eye and brown hair, even if his hair was darker than papà’s. Aside from that, the child had one blue eye, like mamma’s, and his eyebrows were not as thick as papà’s or Enzie’s.
Bettie, on the other hand, was more of a mix of her parents. While she had a square chin, it was less pronounced, like for Vinnie. She also had mamma’s smaller nose and eyebrows. For the rest, it was all papà’s. She had his brown eyes and curly hair, which she almost always tied into a bun.
Finally, there was Donnie, who couldn’t be more alike to mamma. He had her rounder head, smaller nose, thin eyebrows and her long straight raven hair that he kept in a ponytail. The only thing that made him different from her, aside from height, voice and personality, was his brown eyes that deferred from her ocean blue ones. Though, as Bettie had pointed it out, a lot of people had brown eyes. From her point of view, any man with brown eyes could be Donnie’s father.
Vinnie never talked about it to Donnie. He didn’t feel the need to.
Even if he did wonder sometimes if they had the same father, it didn’t change the fact that Donnie was his big brother. That Donnie was his best friend and favorite playmate.
Papà or not, Vinnie loved Donnie as much as he loved Bettie and Enzie. If not more.
---------------
November 15, 2138
Today was the day.
It was Enzie’s 18th birthday. The day everything was going to get better. The day they were finally getting away from mamma and papà !
The oldest brother had been talking about it to his siblings for months. Now that he was an adult, he could “have custody of you three instead of losing you to the system”, as he said. Vinnie wasn’t sure if he fully understood what Enzie meant. At least there was one thing he was sure of.
Enzie was trying to protect them no matter the cost. He was willing to do anything for them.
That’s what led the four of them into a lawyer’s office.
Mamma was there with them. As far as Vinnie knew, she hadn’t shown any objections to her son’s decision and even wanted to help his case, claiming that the fastest the trial would go, the less money she would have to waste.
Mamma was sitting in one of the two chairs of the small office. Vinnie and Donnie were sharing the second one, the two oldest siblings standing between them and their mother. Vinnie was bouncing his legs, squirming a bit in his chair. Several times, Bettie gently nudged him, telling him to stand still, but he simply couldn’t do it.
He was bored.
Enzie and the lawyer were talking things Vinnie didn’t understand. And when he understood, his mind would quickly end up zoning out. He mostly thought about how papà was supposed to be here, wondering what was taking the man so long.
He wished he had his toys with him right now. Or anything else that could distract him.
It was during a short moment of focus that Vinnie heard the footsteps coming from the hall, getting louder and louder.
The door busted open, revealing a woman the eight years-old had never met before. She had long frizzy brown hair that was slowly falling back on her shoulders after her running. As she entered the room, she pushed her glasses back onto her nose and looked around until her emerald eyes landed on mamma. She glared at the black-haired lady.
“I had to see it with my own eyes to believe it !”, the new woman said.
“Missus Dakota, I presume ?”, mamma replied. She was sitting cross-legged, her arms folded and her eyes closed, seemingly completely unfazed by what was happening. This confused Vinnie. How could she be so calm when some stranger was yelling at her ?
The child, on the other hand, was glancing in fear at the new lady. When the door had opened, he instinctively took hold of Donnie’s shirt. The ten years-old had been quick to return the gesture. Meanwhile, Bettie had gotten closer to the chair while Enzie stood between the three of them and the door, arms stretched protectively.
“To think this all went under my nose for EIGHTEEN YEARS !”, the lady continued. Vinnie’s grip on his brother’s shirt tightened. The lady was taller than mamma, somehow making her even more intimidating in the moment.
Before mamma could reply, new footsteps could be heard outside. Despite the commotion in the room, all eyes turned towards the door. Two children peeked inside the room. They looked around the same ages as Donnie and Vinnie. But more importantly, their features looked awfully familiar to Vinnie.
Enzie was the first to react.
“Who the hell are you ?!”, he yelled, pointing at the two children. “Who are all of you and what are you doing here ?!”
Before the lady could answer, papà finally arrived, looking at her with an uncertain gaze.
“Serena, you shouldn-“, he tried gently.
“DON’T YOU TRY FINDING EXCUSES !”, the lady replied, her anger now directed towards papà. “HOW DARE YOU HIDE ME ALL THIS ?!”, she continued to yell, cutting papà everytime he was opening his mouth.
Vinnie started feeling tears form at the corner of his eyes. He was scared. Overwhelmed. He had no idea what was happening aside from “the adults are all fighting”. So naturally, the eight years-old turned his attention towards the one new adult that was always there when he was feeling upset. He moved to sit with his chest against the chair’s back, gripping it tightly. From here, he had a good view of his eldest brother.
Surely Enzie had the solution to all this. Surely he could make it all better.
At least, that was what Vinnie hoped.
The oldest brother was looking between the different adults in disbelief. Suddenly, he froze with a look of horror, as if he had just understood something really, really bad.
“YOU HAD A WIFE THIS WHOLE TIME ?!”
Somehow, Enzie’s booming voice managed to quiet the fighting. The lady -Serena- looked at him in confusion for a second, until her face bared the same shocked expression as the oldest brother.
“You didn’t know…?”, her whisper was barely audible. She glanced at the rest of the siblings. “None of you did…?”, while Vinnie believed she was still angry and could blow at any instant, he felt like there was a hint of sadness in her voice. Was she feeling pity for them ? Why for ? What did Enzie meant ? With everything happening, Vinnie found himself unable to follow.
“Bettina.”, mamma suddenly interrupted. Serena’s expression immediately darkened, as if she had just remembered the other woman was in the room. “Why don’t you take your younger siblings outside ? The adults are talking, and there’s already enough shouting as it stands.”
“I…um”, Bettie glanced at Enzie. The older brother put a hand on her shoulder and Vinnie could hear him whisper “go”. “Alright. Yeah.”, she turned to the boys still on the chair. “Come on, ometti. Let’s go to that playground we saw on the way in.”
Donnie and Vinnie shared a confused look before getting down the chair. The room was deadly silent as Bettie took their hands and led them out, under the adults’ gazes.
Right before the door closed behind them, Vinnie turned around one last time, seeing the adults ready to go at it again under the confused and concerned look of the lawyer.
He hoped Enzie would be alright…
--------------
December 3, 2138
The case had been taken into court. There had been a trial already, during which each sibling had been asked to testify about their living conditions. The younger trio spent their entire time talking about how their oldest brother had been taking care of them for as long as they could remember.
Vinnie didn’t know how to feel about all this. He had a hard time understanding everything. But most importantly, he was getting impatient.
It was obvious that mamma was bad at taking care of them. Why couldn’t the judge see it already ? They should already be on the road by now ! The eight years-old and his brother Donnie had already started to pack. Somehow, they hoped it could make things go faster.
The whole situation had also taken a toll on Vinnie’s grades. He already had trouble at school, between barely finding the motivation to do any homework unless someone was helping him and being seen by his teachers as agitated, more so than the other kids. And now that he had to worry about where he will end up soon, Vinnie simply couldn’t help zoning out in class to think about it.
And after the first trial, it only grew worse.
His teachers had gotten angry and started punishing him for it.
Vinnie couldn’t wait for Enzie to take them away.
…
…Enzie…
These last weeks, the older brother had been…distant. He spent all of his free-time in the office, working on his case. He only helped his siblings with basic things. Mostly food.
But more than that, the eighteen years-old had gotten more aggressive towards his parents since that day in the lawyer’s office. He couldn’t stand being downstairs if mamma was around. He was insulting them at any given chance, including during the trial they had had.
Enzie was also trying to get things to go as fast as possible. He absolutely wanted to leave before spring, before papà was around again.
Or so Vinnie thought he did.
According to Bettie, papà wasn’t going to ever come back home. At first, when the youngest brothers asked why, she refused to answer.
It had been like this ever since the day they met the lawyer. When they came back home that day, Enzie locked himself in a room, eventually letting Bettie in to tell her everything. The two then refused to explain the situation to their brothers.
That was, until one day.
Enzie had come back home, looking more stressed than usual. When Bettie went to ask if everything was alright, he snapped at her -something about their parents being the absolute worst-, and went to lock himself in the office. After that, Bettie had gone back to the bedroom, clearly upset by it all. And when Donnie and Vinnie asked her what Enzie meant, she told them the truth that forever changed Vinnie’s perception of his father :
Their parents never loved them. They never wanted them. At least, not the way they were meant to be wanted.
Their mother was a drug dealer, a criminal. There wasn’t a single penny she earned honestly. Her whole life revolved around getting money through schemes.
As it turned out, having children had been one of those schemes.
Mamma and papà met in an alley, in the middle of the night. Mamma had been out to sell illegal substances. Papà had gotten bored being home alone. His wife, Serena Dakota, had a job that led her to leave the country between January and July. They hadn’t been married for long when mamma and papà met. Bettie said it might have been a reason for his actions.
Papà “wanted a good time”, as Bettie said. He was out to meet a few women, doing things the older sister refused to explain to her brothers.
It was while looking for those women that papà ran into mamma. And when she heard what he wanted, she decided to use the situation to her advantage.
“She held him at gunpoint.”, Bettie explained to them. “The first night, Mamma had looked to steal his phone while he was sleeping and found the wedding ring he had been hiding in his jacket. She used that to blackmail him once Enzie was on the way.”
At first, papà had been happy to spend time with mamma. But then, his wife came home and they had to stop seeing each other. A month later, mamma called him out of nowhere.
She was pregnant.
According to Bettie, this had never been papà’s plan. Mamma had promised him that she was being careful. But, as per usual, mamma lied.
Knowing the child was his, she had been able to get money from him, threatening to reveal his secret to his wife. In exchange, papà only asked for two things : being the one to name them, and being able to visit them whenever.
The money had been the reason why mamma would sometimes go out with them or make sure they had good enough clothes or even prevent any of them from dying. She had to pretend like she liked her children. She needed people to believe they were one happy family, or else someone could call child services and “take away her safest source of income”. And while papà visiting them wasn’t part of her plan, it still at least helped her hiding the reality of her parenting.
Bettie believed that papà felt bad for them. The reason why he visited wasn’t because mamma forced him to be there. Sometimes, he just wanted to see his children, make sure they were still alive and well.
This was no excuse.
Even with Enzie’s warryness, he had had dozens of chances to talk to them, to be there for them.
At any moment, he could have said the truth to his wife. Instead, he lied to her. He kept her in the dark and made sure she still loved him. He had children with her, children he took care of. Children he loved.
Children he had chosen the name of years before they were born. Names he made sure none of his “other kids” had.
As he was hearing the truth, Vinnie felt like his parents had just thrown one of their bottles on his body, the glass piercing through his chest. For the following hour after Bettie finished explaining, Vinnie had felt empty. He ended up lying in Bettie’s arms, completely frozen, completely unfazed by the world around him.
Enzie was right.
Enzie had always been right.
Their parents were dangerous. Their parents never loved them. Their parents couldn’t care any less about them.
There was no point trying to get their attention, trying to get their affection. They were heartless. They never had the space in their hearts for him.
Vinnie was an unwanted child. They all were.
They were children born from an affair. Used by their monstrous mother to get money from their unconcerned father.
Enzie had been right all along.
…
…
From now on, Vinnie would listen to Enzie. He would listen to everything his older brother says.
Unlike his parents, Enzie loved him. Enzie wanted what was best for him.
Enzie was the only parent he needed.
---------------
March 22, 2139
“It had been clear for a long time now that Ms. Claudia Drowssap and Mr. Pietro Dakota are not fit to take care of their biological children. However, the question of whether or not Mr. Enzo Dakota could take care of said children had yet to be answered. Today, we have chosen an answer to this question.
While we still remain uncertain of his abilities to provide for them, this court had been told that Mr. Dakota found job opportunities along with possible apartments in Napoli. Furthermore, it is painfully obvious that Mr. Dakota is incredibly attached to his siblings and had been their only anchor for most of their life. For their own well-being as well as his, we believe that separating the four of them is out of the question.
Thus, this court is ready to give its judgment. The custody of the present Bettina, Donatello and Vincenzo Dakota will be granted to their brother Mr. Enzo Dakota. Their parents, Ms. Claudia Drowssap and Mr. Pietro Dakota, will have to repair their inaptitude by paying child support for the next five years. Furthermore, Ms. Drowssap and Mr. Dakota Sr are not to be allowed to visit their children. Finally, they will not be able to keep any other child they may have in the future.
If Mr. Dakota Jr decides to file a claim for child abuse, more consequences might come their way.
This court is adjourned.”
Vinnie couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
They did it.
They really did it !
The banging of the gavel resonated across the room, announcing the end of this session. The end of their last session. Vinnie jumped out of his seat, seeing from the corner of his eyes that he wasn’t the only one. As soon as the way was cleared enough, Bettie and Donnie ran towards Enzie. The youngest sibling immediately followed suit.
They jumped into his arms, all smiles and laughs. Even after they pulled away, the happy chatter remained. Bettie congratulated Enzie excitedly while Donnie was holding onto her, pushing her back and forth. Vinnie himself was jumping in place, his fists shaking left and right in excitement.
They were finally free ! They could finally get away from mamma and papà !
After a few more moments of celebration, Enzie led the group outside. They had to go home and pack up. The oldest brother told them they would leave as soon as possible.
“ENZO !”
The siblings had barely finished walking down the stairs when they saw papà walking towards them. The man was walking fast, teeth gritted and fists clenched, looking at his oldest son with a murderous glare.
Enzie stood in front of his younger siblings, shielding them with his arms. Afraid, Vinnie went to hug Donnie. When papà was only a few steps away, the eight years-old closed his eyes. He heard the footsteps stop, followed by ruffling and a short grunt. Vinnie felt Donnie tense.
“Are you happy with yourself ?! Are you proud of what you did ?!”
Vinnie dared opening his eyes and almost gasped. Papà had grabbed Enzie by the collar.
“Because of you, I lost my wife ! I lost my home ! I might even lose my job ! All because YOU decided to get involved in MY business !”
“All I did was trying to survive !”, Enzie replied, returning papà’s glare. “I’ll never apologize for that.”
“YOU RUINED MY LIFE !”
“YOU RUINED YOUR OWN LIFE !”, Enzie pushed papà away from him. The older man raised a fist but didn’t hit his son. Instead, he looked as the younger trio protectively put their hands on Enzie.
“Go.”, Bettie spoke up with a shaking voice. “Leave us alone.”
“…”, papà’s glare was now directed at the four of them. “You are all nothing but a bunch of ungrateful bastards.”, he growled.
“What should we be grateful for ?”, Vinnie surprised himself by deciding to speak. He knew he shouldn’t. Papà was dangerous, he could clearly see it right now. Enzie had been right about that, just like for anything else. And Enzie had told him never to talk to papà again.
And yet, the child couldn’t stop the words from flowing out of his mouth.
“Have you ever done anything to us ?! Have you ever cared for us ?! DO YOU EVEN LOVE US ?!”
Vinnie felt tears stream down his cheeks. He started sobbing.
“Vinnie…”, Donnie murmured. The ten years-old held his younger sibling. “shhh. It’s okay.”, he soothed. “It’s okay to cry.”, Donnie let a hand gently run into Vinnie’s hair, copying the way their oldest brother comforted them. The youngest sibling leaned into the embrace, crying into Donnie’s shirt. When he tried opening his eyes, he noticed that papà was looking away, seemingly more upset than angry after what his son said.
Enzie was the one to break the silence.
“You’re dead to us.”, he spat. “Don’t ever try to see us again, or they’ll be consequences. And if you don’t keep paying for support, I’ll sue for the child neglect.”, he threatened. “If you think your life is already ruined, you’re not ready for the hell I’m ready to put you through if you ever DARE try anything against us.”
The two men glared at each other for what felt like forever. Enzie’s last words kept replaying in Vinnie’s head. He wondered with dread how serious his older brother was, how far he was willing to go for them.
Finally, after a painfully long silence, papà started to back away. He walked a certain distance, glared at his chil- at them one last time, and turned away.
Enzie snorted. “Come on.”, he told his siblings. “Let’s go home. We have a lot to do if we want to leave.”
The oldest brother started to walk away, soon followed by his sister. Donnie and Vinnie looked at each other as they pulled away from their hug, before finally following the older duo.
As he followed the group, Vinnie couldn’t help but look around him, look back at the older man.
From afar, the eight years-old noticed mamma. She was looking at the man as well.
Despite everything that had happened, she was smiling.
-------------------------
Note : Regarding Vinnie being trans, I’m well-aware that someone doesn’t “become” a boy, they’ve always been one. But since Vinnie is 5 when he realizes that he’s a man, the characters simplify it to “becoming a boy” so that Vinnie can understand easily.
Italian translations :
Mamma : mom
Papà : dad
Piccolina : little one (female)
Polpetto : meatball (apparently it’s a nickname for young kids/siblings)
Patatino : little potato (for some reason I love this nickname)
Ometto : little man (ometti is plural)
Piccino : tiny one
#Milo Murphy's Law#Vinnie Dakota#trans Vinnie Dakota#heterochromia Vinnie Dakota#colorblind Vinnie Dakota#ADHD Dakota#As Time Passes#As Time Passes Prologue#my fanfics#tw#cw#tw abuse#tw child abuse#tw abusive parents#cw abuse#cw drug mention#tw drug mention#tw drugs#tw infidelity#cw infidelity#tw alcohol#cw alcohol#IT'S FINALLY HERE#FIRST PART OUT OF THREE#9K WORDS OUT OF 32K#funnily enough seeing the fic posted on AO3 is making me immediately want to work on part 2#despite the fact that 2 mins ago I felt 100% done with this prologue#anyways I hope it's good !#tomorrow I'll edit Prologue 1 a little
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Daily Blog #15: August 22, 2021
Dollar Tree is honestly pretty fucking awesome 👌👌👌
I set my alarm for like 6:25 this morning, but it took 6 minutes for the "Horsin' Around" theme song instrumental to wake me up. I was pretty tired lol. I just dismissed it and went back to sleep.
I only went back to sleep because I knew I had another alarm set for 7:00. That got me up.
I should mention that this was still in the RV over an hour away from the house.
After I got up, I went to go get a shower, and did so successfully.
Unfortunately, I had forgotten my brush this time and had to do it afterwards after my hair had a bit of time to dry, which did make it a little more difficult lol.
I got dressed and grabbed my stuff, putting it into my car.
I made it a point to see and say "see you later" to my grandparents before I left for the flea market.
My dad insisted that I stayed to say goodbye to my mom, so I left.
I did NOT have cell service up there, as was mentioned in my previous 2 blogs of which I could only post today, so finding my way was a tiny bit difficult until I got some service to ask Google to take me to "...".
It worked and I got there.
On my drive, I listened to 1 by Simple Kid, a CD I had previously purchased at a Dollar Tree location.
I got a call from the guy at the flea market saying that I had some people there waiting for me. He asked how far away I was, to which I said "about 10 minutes." Ironically, that call made me miss my exit, as Google couldn't talk during the call, and added about 3 minutes to my arrival time lmao.
I did sell the Xbox that he said someone was interested in. I got $40 for it. I spent 27¢ on it. Pretty good return if you ask me.
I couldn't sell it with anything other than a power cord because the controller and AV cables I had been using to play it there were for my personal console. I'm just glad I can actually hook my Xbox up and stop having to drag them to the flea market along with a small library of games.
Not too long after I sold the Xbox, someone came in and asked if I wanted to see some electronics he had in his car. I went out with him. It was a pair of 3ft speakers and a Pioneer audio system with dual cassette decks (although neither of them works) and a 25 Disc CD-changer, as well as the standard AM/FM tuner. Additionally, there was a Fisher amplifier and AM/FM tuner as well as a Fisher Direct Drive turntable. He said he wanted $60 for em, but before that he casually, and probably accidentally, dropped that he was just gonna take em to the thrift store.
Big mistake.
I got em for $35 lmao. THERE GOES MOST OF MY PROFIT.
Oh well.
I tested everything. As I mentioned, the cassette decks don't work, but everything else does apart from the turntable needing a new stylus.
I posted some new photos of the shop to Facebook, and someone soon DMed me about a stereo system.
I priced everything, and it turns out I have about $300 worth of equipment from that deal, the Fisher amp and tuner being worth about $150.
The buyer will hopefully show up next weekend, for he wants to buy the Fisher stuff ($185 with the turntable), the 3ft speakers, an 8-track deck, and a Kenwood deck we've had for a week or two.
The speakers are listed for $50 (and are worth around $100-150), the Kenwood Deck for $50 as well, and the 8-track for $35. That makes it about $320 in equipment. Since he's buying so much, I'll knock it down to $270 and essentially give him the speakers or cassette deck for free lol.
Apart from that stuff, not much happened at the flea market. I sold some records, cassettes, CDs and I think 2 DVDs. One person bought a VHS tape? That money was the other guy's though. Oh well xD.
I can't say that I didn't miss my wonderful partner while on the trip. I actually brought along the stuffed animal they gave me (who's name is Greg) and snuggled with him both nights.
I was very happy to hear from them UwU.
They let me rant and I let them rant.
I honestly give them too much responsibility over me xD. I'm like, "Okay, I'm gonna do this. HOLD ME TO IT."
I know I can't hold myself to anything I personally say (this blog being the only exception apparently), but I listen to them pretty well I think 🤔. If they tell me, "No, you don't need that VCR," so long as it's not some weird specialty thing, like a worldwide VCR 🥵, I'll be like "Yeah, you rite bro."
I love you man xD. You control my craziness pretty well. I'm so thankful for you UwU.
#relationshipgoals
So part way through the flea market day, I went over to Dollar Tree to buy some snack, but ended up looking through the CDs to see if there was anything good. I took photos of about 18 CDs and flipped through them online for the remainder of the flea market day.
I deleted the photos of the ones I didn't want and kept those that I liked. Surprisingly, I ended up buying 13 CDs there, but not before dropping them on the floor like the dumbass I am.
Also, sorry for all the nerd shit I spilled on your lap earlier. No one cares about amps and tuners xD.
I'M LISTENING TO ONE OF THE DOLLAR TREE CDS RIGHT NOW THO.
I already transferred over to my online library on iBroadcast and put the disc into my CD changer, which is now holding 164 CDs.
Its max capacity is 300 discs 🥵
WHY AM I NERD
Oh well
I like being a nerd gurl
Also maybe a technosexual 👀
I get really excited over some electronics. Like. REALLY excited.
Some editing VCRs are like "Holy shit that is SEXY. Look at those goddamn VU meters 🥵. And hhhh there are like 7 inputs on this thing and individual controls for left and right audio gain, not to mention Hi-Fi S-VHS recording. Hhhhhhhhhhh please gimme 😭. Why are you so expensive?"
I uh, mean, uh, *cough* look, pretty lights.
Oh yeah, I was gonna say the album I was listening to xD. MAN I GOT SIDETRACKED.
It's 37 Everywhere by Punchline. Def give it a listen; it's pretty heccin good.
Another notable album I picked up was Page One by Steven Page. I very much like the first track, "A New Shore." It's quite catchy and he has a great voice imo.
Also at dollar tree, I bought a regular bag of Fieras and 2 bags of Fieras Sticks, which were marked down to 75¢/bag because they're expiring soon.
I honestly like the generic Dollar Tree version of Takis more than actual Takis. They're a lot more flavorful when it comes to the lime, but also hotter at the same time.
Don't get the hot nacho ones tho. Hot nacho? More like hot pile of shit.
HAH
Goteem.
They're not that good xD.
THE REGULAR ONES ARE FIRE THO
"How do you do fellow kids?"
I got home and started working on putting the CDs onto my computer, and then onto iBroadcast, but not without first adding The Music Man to my digital library, something I had neglected for a month or two. The CD had just been sitting there lol.
I also switched my digital file for "The Black Parade" to that of the uncensored CD, which I had purchased before I event started working over 2 months ago.
MAN I'M LAZY
I eventually get around to shit tho lol. I guess it's just a matter of priority.
What usually takes priority is digging through everything to find something that I forgot about but then remembered, making a mess in the process that I would then have to clean up, at least partially.
I think the album just ended. I've been writing for a while xD. I'ma start "I Made You Something" by The Island of the Misfit Toys.
I'll tell you where that album came from in a minute.
In the meantime, where was I?
I kinda lost my train of thought despite reading up to see where I was. Oh well. On I go.
I ate dinner and kept working on those CDs, eventually putting my clothes from the week into the washer.
I FORGOT TO PUT MY SHAPING UNDERWEAR IN. FUCKING HELL MAN.
I wanted to wash em for this week 😭
No tight pants for Leonna I guess qwq.
Meanwhile, the box of my CD album cases is overflowing. I need another box.
I keep all of the album artworks in a big CD folder. That's almost full.
I wanna fill my entire CD changer. That's one of my big goals in life. Idk why, but I just wanna legitimately fill the entire thing.
My clothes are in the dryer now. I don't think I have the time (or energy) to fold them tonight. I'll leave that for tomorrow morning before work.
And God. Fucking. Damnit. I start school again on Wednesday. NOT looking forward to that, and neither are my 2 coworkers. We already have low enough staff, but only the two of them working is gonna be a pain in the ass.
I'll still work Saturdays.
I need to contact my guidance counselor to get out of the gym class I signed up for. I scheduled this shit before I found out I was trans, and I don't wanna deal with the fucking locker room situation 🙄 I have far more important matters.
Okay so anyway, the album I'm listening to came from a cassette. I bought this cassette a few months ago at the flea market along with a few others. The reason I bought them? They were all newer cassette releases from the 2010's, and they're all actually pretty good music from very indie bands.
Currently getting mad at iBroadcast's compression algorithm. It's unnaturally fucking anything over -10db up. Oh well, there's not really anything I can do about it.
I have like 13GB of music on my phone btw. That's about 3.5k songs on 268 albums.
I'm kind of an audiophile, but I'm too cheap to pay for a lossless service. Oh well.
They do actually have a lossless service on iBroadcast, but once again, too cheap.
Someone just sent me a friend request who legitimately posted that BLM and the democratic party are hate groups.
BLOCK.
Goodbye ho.
I don't get that. They call the democratic party a hate group when they hate people like me, and I, being more of a democrat although not fully because the 2-party system is fucked, think nothing more of them than they're very wrong about certain things, especially, as shown, that black people, as well as asian, Indian, native, and people of all ethnicities and backgrounds, are not equal to white people.
Yeh.
Totally.
You go buddy.
Anyway, yeah, I can, and do, convert music and video from analog formats to digital files in order for me to archive and listen to whenever and wherever I please. I've actually made a bit of a business out of it, but I don't get too much work from it. At least I'm not overloading myself xD.
I honestly have so much more to say, but I should probably go to sleep soon.
A few final shoutouts to the following people and companies:
-Dollar Tree
-Steven Page
-Broken World Media
-The Island of Misfit Toys
-Simple Kid
-Punchline
-My incredible partner QwQ I love you so much. Thanks for being the best all the time. I hope I can give you the best life ever.
Anyway I suppose this is goodnight. Lmk if you want a full list of the CDs I bought today! I'll link that song by Steven Page here.
And here's a good song from Simple Kid
I really like music lol. Enjoy these pieces.
Anyway, goodnight lol.
Lots of love,
-Leonna.
#Trans#Lgbtq#blog#daily blog#Dollar Tree#Dollar CD#Dollar Tree Cd#receiver#pioneer#fisher#audio#music#CD#cassette#iBroadcast#nerd gurl#nerdy girl#ramble#rant#please read this to figure out what my life is like even though it quite honestly doesn't matter at all but might still be kinda interesting#Spotify
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