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jounosparticles · 5 months

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the colors reminded me it's port mafia time

about all of the port mafia has black in their palletes, it is very clear to see BUT there are three exceptions

kouyou has black in her character design BUT also pinks and reds. she probably doesn't count but still! you notice the pinks/reds before you notice the black. I think this is to connect her to kyouka but I could be absolutely wrong. small little extra detail: she has spider lillies at the bottom of her kimono(?) which repersent danger and death and abandonment! (they can also represent rebirth but death is the most common meaning for them)

kaji also barely has any black in his pallet. but he's kaji. absolute unhinged creature

and finally tachihara! he has black pants but also green jacket and white shirt. obviously in the beginning he wasn't actually a port mafia member but a hunting dog (that changes but also we don't see him after he gets turned so does he get new mafia swag? the world may never know.) the green of his jacket could repersent his connection to the hunting dogs (green jacket -> green uniforms) but that might be a HUGE stretch so eerrhhree take it with salt.

mori also applies to this halfway since he has two outfits (port mafia boss + his physician outfit) BUT with his physician outfit he wears a purple button down with his white (lab? doctor?) coat over it. purple is associated with corruption and royalty and I think that applies to his position as the mafia boss BUT! BUT the lab coat covers it so ITS LIKE HIM CONCEALING IT!!!! HIDING!!!! GRR DHER I hate mori but I love putting him under a microscope sometimes dude.

anyway!!!!!!! colors!!!!!!!! fun.

ohhhh I LOVE THIS!! lots of little details i didn’t think too far into.

thinking into kouyou, the black in her design is under the pink/red mostly. as if she’s keeping the more extravagant (maybe the wrong word) or passionate part of her external while the darkness she tries to not let out. she’s talked before about how you can’t go back if you thrive in the darkness, so i assume her design reflects that a lot. she expresses beauty despite being in the darkness. pink is also associated with love and care, and she seemed to take on a role in protecting kyouka and likely loved her or deeply cared about her. (i am so here for kyouka and kouyou found family older sibling or mother-like role).

kajii has a couple black stripes on his outfit. not much, but enough to symbolize that he’s with the mafia. what’s interesting though is that they cover his eyes as well. you’d think they’d put more emphasis on his eyes to show that he is corrupted as well but they stay shielded a lot. harukawa said at one point that his eyes are pitch black even if you cannot see them. this is probably a combination of him being a scientist and keeping his face shielded and maybe adding some uncertainty for his character. i also assume the white clothes is to go with the scientist-y look. we don’t know much about him yet but i hope we do soon.

and for tachihara hmmm. i wonder if asagiri had him planned out from the start? or if he decided to add that in to give tachi some depth since he didn’t have much beforehand? either way i love that he has such a cool design, it’s one of my favourite mafia looks actually! i like your idea of the jacket connection a lot, that makes sense! i noted that tachihara also wears black wristbands, tying into the colour theme of the mafia as well. i’m going into heavy speculation here, but maybe the white on his shirt could somehow represent his purity (combined with the green jacket to show his status as an officer)? and the black of his pants could represent the effect the mafia has had on him? as in he is both good and evil. or maybe they just thought the colour contrasts looks cool and i’m looking to deep into things idc tho ily tachihara

i don’t have anything to add to mori’s designs i just really like what you said with that. really cool ideas !!

i always love seeing your ideas on stuff!!

#sorry for taking a few days to respond. i am the ceo of forgetfulness #but i love talking ab colours and design symbolism and everything graahhhhhh this is so fun!!#asks #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd port mafia #the port mafia #port mafia #bsd kouyou #bsd kajii #bsd tachihara #ozaki kouyou #tachihara michizou #motojirou kajii

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lilietsblog · 3 years

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so whenever Russian characters crop up in American/English-speaking media theres a very noticable thing where writers v often dont understand patronymics and full names.

Now, there’s two gradations of “full name” that are in use here. There is the “FIO” full name, or SGP perhaps (surname, given name, patronymic), and there is the full given name.

As an example, let’s take Ivanov Ivan Ivanovich.

Ivanov is the surname. You can tell bc of hte -ov suffix at the end. (Not the only one possible but a pretty decent indication something is a surname when it is there)

Ivan is the given name. You can tell bc Russian has a set (an expansive one) of given names and this is one of them, one of the most historically popular at that.

Ivanovich is the patronymic, it can be translated as “son of Ivan”. You can tell bc of the “ovich” suffix. There is also “evich” and for at least one name just “ich”. Colloquially they will also get shortened into just “ych” making the variation “Ivanych”. (”Y” is the letter used for transliteration of a sound that doesn’t exist in English but is considered fairly close to “i’)

To be clear, “Ivanov Ivan Ivanych” is the exact same person as “Ivanov Ivan Ivanovich”, this is hte exact same name, the only thing that changes is how formal the speaker is being about it.

Female suffixes are “evna” and “ovna”. Anna Petrovna, Anna Fadeevna. There is also “ichna” for at least one name and an antiquated “ishna” which is the colloquial alternative in some cases. Anna Fadeevna = Anna Fadeishna. This IS antiquated tho.

Coming back to our Ivanov Ivan Ivanovich, this is the “FIO” form of his name, the way it will be put on formal documents that require one’s full name. The “Ivan Ivanovich Ivanov” form is also acceptable, its just not the order you write on documents in. The patronymic (Ivanovich) always comes after the full given name (Ivan), the surname can be stuck on either side of that.

The traditional respectful address to someone you know is the full given name + patronymic. Ivan Ivanovich! Could you come over here? It’s used with plural/formal “you”. This form is also becoming obsolete in recent years but if you’re writing mid-20th-century or characters of middle age+ Ivan Ivanovich is the name to go.

(Note the difference from the address + surname form in English: Dr. Smith or Mr Smith etc. In Russian this form does not exist except several centuries back or in very very impersonal century back “citizen Ivanov” that like a policeman would use to address you. Not anyone you actually know personally. Schoolchildren will often not know their teachers’ surnames because they are all Ivan Ivanovich to them.)

Now I keep saying “Ivan” is the FULL given name. The short given name from “Ivan” is “Vanya”. This is a set linguistic fact - the set of given names in Russian is factually two linked sets, a set of full given names and a set of short given names. Some short given names can be short from several full given names, some full given names can have several short names (a person will usually pick one to use). A short given name doesn’t go anywhere on formal documents. It just follows from your full given name naturally, like conjugation. Some full given names (Gleb, Oleg, Diana, Vera) are short enough to be used as short given names too and so don’t realy have assigned short counterparts. In fact Vera can be both a full name on its own - Ivanova Vera Ivanovna - and short for Veronica - Ivanova Veronica Ivanovna.

Short names are formed through a variety of rules. There are basic requirements for the form they take as a result though. Full given names can have “complicated” consonant pairs together: Dmitriy, Aleksandr, Pavla, Anna. Short names are “simple” will almost always go consonant-vowel. Dmitriy -> Dima, Aleksandr -> Sasha, Alik or Shura (don’t ask how that last one happened, it’s a miracle of absurdity, but it’s one of the traditional shortenings), Pavla -> Pasha (well, Pavla is a rare name, you hear Pasha and you usually assume Pavel, the male name), Anna -> Anya. (”y” is not a consonant here, “ya” is a vowel sound English doesnt really have)

(As an exception to the consonant-vowel rule, when there’s a consonant pair the second of which is “l” it’s usually kept together in the short name - it’s just very simple to the Russian ear / tongue. Vladislav - Vlad or Slava, for example)

Often a name will be formed fully from the syllables / consonants of the full name, give or take changing the last vowel to the gender neutral “a”/”ya” (It will either be “a”/”ya” or a consonant). Vladimir -> Vlad, Ruslana -> Lana, Tatiana -> Tanya, Anna -> Anya, Katerina -> Katya, Dmitriy -> Dima or Mitya, Ivan -> Vanya. And then there’s the “sha” suffix tacked on as the second syllable: Pavel -> Pasha, Natalia -> Natasha or Tasha, Daria -> Dasha, Aleksandr -> Sasha, etc.

So long as they conform to these rules, you can kind of make them up. Though considering the whole of history, you’re not super likely to make up something that hasn’t been made up before you. Anna historically speaking turns into Anya, Nyura, Nyusha... -shudders-

So how are short names actually used?

As an implication of familiarity/subordination, that’s how. For the weebs in the audience, you know the ‘-chan’ suffix in Japanese? Kind of exactly like that. Japanese has more nuances, but generally if you wouldn’t call someone -chan, you shouldn’t call them by their short name. (Unless they specifically asked you to, but I think that’s a thing in Japanese too)

Short names are never paired with patronymics. The steps of formality in address are basically “Ivan Ivanovich” => “Ivan” => “Vanya”.

(There’s also formal you, so to be completely clear: “Ivan Ivanovich” (formal you) => “Ivan” (formal you) => “Vanya” (formal you) => “Vanya” (informal you). If someone is getting called their full given name + informal you, it’s either implying antiquity - pre 20th century - or they’re using their full given name as their short given name.)

You call your children and siblings by short names. You call your friends by short names. You MIGHT call your employees, especially if they are sufficiently young, or if you’ve known them for a long time and the “familiarity” part applies, by short names.

SHORT NAMES ARE NOT FORMAL. This is important. Nobody has “Natasha” written in their passport (unless I guess they were making new documents in America or something from scratch and didn’t use any old ones as basis of establishing idenity so could make up whatever. It’s still weird! It’s like having “Johnny-boy” written in your passport!)

SHORT NAMES ARE OFTEN GENDERED BUT YOU CANNOT TELL HOW WITHOUT KNOWING THE CORRESPONDING FULL NAME. “Pasha” and “Misha” are both male names becaus they are short from “Pavel” and “Mikhail”. Of course you could have a Pavla or a Mikhaila, but the former is very rare and the latter is probably a foreign Mykaila Russianified or something. In these cases it’s usually considered normal to assume gender, even if there’s a tiny chance you could be wrong.

PATRONYMICS ARE NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES INTERCHANGEABLE WITH SURNAMES. You have the same surname as your family members, but if you have the same patronymic, either you’re siblings or there are multiple people with the same given name in your immediate family, which is slightly odd. A patronymic is formed from your father’s name by unambiguous and definite rules. Foreign names can be turned into patronymics easily. (Though kids of foreign citizens can get whatever their parents want on their birth certificate - patronymic by the rules of one of the parents’ home country, no patronymic at all, whatever) Surnames are surnames and work the same way they work anywhere else.

PATRONYMICS AND SURNAMES ARE NOT CONNECTED IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER. Any surname goes with any patronymic same as it goes with any given name. Except for the obvoius “statistically likely to be from the same culture” part. (Your “Russian” character could have Georgian, Ukrainian, Armenian, Lithuanian, Bielorussian, Kazakh, Tatar descent, descent from any number of indigenous cultures on the territory of Russia that I personally never heard about until I started translating documents in high amounts and stumbling upon them. Russia is an empire!) But even that’s just statistics - you could have a Tsukino Farha Bogdanovna and I’d just go “that’s a fascinating family history right there”.

GOOGLE RUSSIAN GIVEN NAMES, DON’T MAKE THEM UP. And pay attention if something is marked as “diminutive” - that means it’s a short name, and it will not be used on formal documents or in conjunction with a patronymic. Go for the name it’s diminutive for and just have the character ask everyone to use their short name if you want - it’s trendy these days.

There’s all kinds of fuckery going on with name use on the margins - some old people will call their close friends the “patronymic + informal you” construction. (Actually it’s a “Russian babushka” stereotype that actually exists within the culture. And if anyone ever uses the “short name + patronymic” form irl it’s this category of people, though I’d imagine only in third person) Some bosses or even teachers will invite their students to call them by their short name (I am so deeply uncomfortable with this). Age is often the difference between a Vanya and an Ivan Ivanovich in the same situation.

All patronymics and a good share of surnames conjugate by gender! “Ivanov” and “Ivanova” are the exact same surname, but a guy will have the former writen in their documents and a gal would have the latter. If you legally change your gender that letter changes too. (No, there’s no gender neutral form. Some surnames, like those ending in -enko, just don’t do this, but those that do are at all times one or the other) I guess expatriates a couple of generations down could have whatever going on, but if you have an actually-born-in-Russia “Ivanova Ivan Ivanovna” that means “Ivan” is a girl with a male name for some fucking reason. Name gendering is just tradition, patronymic gendering is grammar. (And if you have an “Ivanova Ivan Ivanovich” that’s just someone making a typo) (Maybe our hypothetical Ivanova Ivan Ivanovna transitioned and liked her birth name so much, she decided to not even go for Ivanna or something else plausible, Ivan or bust. Officials would probably just shrug and go with it lmao)

Oh, and in less formal lists and situations, surname + short given name is a classical combination. When I call my grandboss, surname + short given name is how I introduce myself, because I’m much younger and much subordinate so short name it is, but she’s under no obligation to identify me from my given name so surname it is. (To people who I expect to remember my name but who weren’t expecting me to call, just surname is good, but to people who can connect my surname with my identity but probably don’t remember my given name immediately & exactly from that, giving also the form of given name they address me by is the reasonable person thing to do)

If I were introducing myself in the “Hi! I’m Tsukino Usagi!” anime intro format, I’d go for “Short given name + surname”. Short name is usually the one people think of as their personal identity as it’s whatt their close circle will have been calling them for their entire life, and ACTUALLY it’s normal for the surname to come after the given name. In a book citation of “famous doctor X did Y” they will probably be “famous doctor fullgivenname-patronymic-surname”. For a Russian speaker, switching between Japanese name order and English name order is not a difficulty, but we WILL be distressed by not being able to tell which is which and therefore which it is on sight )=

MARVEL COMICS WALL OF SHAME

- Natasha Alianovna Romanova. First, “Romanov” is not a common surname, it’s the surname of the royal family, it’s like a random English guy being called “Tudor”. Well, it’s plausible, it IS formed by the classic “common given name + -ov” rule, but Roman isn’t even that common a name (and not exactly Russian), and... well. It’s just weird. I don’t think there’s good chances for it to have come into existence as such historically WHEN IT WAS THE RULING FAMILY SURNAME. Second! Natasha is a short name! She should be Natalia/Natalya! Third... I mean I will not say Alian is not an existing male name, and I won’t even say it’s not used in any cultures that exist within Russia, but if they were aiming for “common Russian male name” they missed 180 degrees.

- Ilyana Rasputin. First, -in is a suffix that makes this surname adjective-ish, meaning it conjugates by gender, meaning she is RASPUTINA. Her brother is Rasputin. She is Rasputina. Second, again, I have heard of exactly one (1) guy with this surname, and it’s the same guy you’re thinking of right now. It is in no way, shape or form common, or reasonable to give to a character without making it a plot point. Third, Ilyana is not a Russian name that exists. Ilya is a male name, but there’s no female form. FOURTH, I distinctly remember reading a comic where she was calling her brothers “Piotr” and “Mikhail”. That’s their full names! I mean bonus points for actually finding the full names this time, but it’s extremely weird for their LITTLE SIBLING to use them! They should be Petya and Misha as far as her own speech is concerned!

P.S. “All Night Laundry” is a fantastic webcomic, but “Grandimir” is not a real name, “Grand” is not a Russian word root and will not be used in a name this way, you’re looking for “Velimir” or somethng (though that’s, like, a thousand years antiquated). Also while both the uncle and the nephew having the “Petrovich” patronymic is not that odd, Petr is not THAT rare a name and maybe their brother/father was Petr Petrovich... considering we never learn their surname, I seriously suspect the writer just confused a patronymic with a surname. Also, naming their dog the same name crosses the line into slightly weird. Who names a dog after their father? This is actually what prompted this...

#languages #russian #might not be the first rant i write on this topic #might not be the last

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bangchanswolfpelt · 3 years

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Aight I'm a good 6 years older then Yeonjun, and I don't stan any 4th gen groups, but fucking Yeonjun and Taehyun dragged me kicking and screaming into TXT when they passed their cutie concept phase and I can't get out. I couldn't find anything for Taehyun on your blog, maybe I didn't know what to search for, but how do you see him? Soft dom, hard dom? Switch? Sub? He gives me a really, really interesting vibe. Very intense, as if he's not afraid of anything when it comes down to it and would try anything, but also reserved?

ahahahaha, i feel you—i'm right around your same age i think and i was lured in by Soobin being an adorable Jin stan, only to find out that once i was in the door, Yeonjun was waiting there to ambush me with his face and his voice and his stupid sweats that say "run up" right on his dick. 💀

you were probably searching just fine, it's just that there was nothing to find! this blog's only a month old and most of the asks i've been getting are about Soobin. so nearly all of what i've been writing is about. Soobin… 😂 (this is NOT me telling anybody to stop btw, i love it, i just also think it's deeply hilarious when the point of this blog was to stop yelling at my roommate about petplay and just write about getting railed by Bang Chan in a fursuit😂😂😂) re: searching my blog, tho, the most consistent set of tags i have is [group name/abbreviation][emoji]; for txt it's txt👾. if you're in the browser, you can find them all to the right of the page under 'Trending Tags'; i also have a link in my pinned navi post, but i'll add them all as actual tags to that post too, just so they're easier to get to.

i wasn't actually planning on writing for Tae or Hyuka, even though they've hit age of majority they're still very much cutie babies to me. (watching Hyuka in Lovesong felt too much like watching a babby cousin try to relive my high school days on tiktok 🥺) i DO know that the latest teasers have been fucking people up, tho, so like. check back in a bit and i might be singing a different song. 👀 (also if anyone wants to send anything my way that might make me change my mind... 👀👀👀)

looking at your question from my currently extremely clinical, well-hydrated perspective, tho—

i think you actually have a really good read on Taehyun! especially in regards to him being kind of reserved—when it comes to romantic/sexual relationships, he’d be very cautious with his feelings up until a certain point, but if you DO manage to get that far with him, then it’s all or nothing—like, following you out of the shire all the way to mt. doom kinda all or nothing. 🥺 and he's definitely the type to only get into d/s stuff with someone he really trusts (honestly, i don't think he'd even get too far along with vanilla physical intimacy without that level of trust, unless something had him really caught up in the moment). once you’re that person, though, buckle the fuck up cause you weren’t wrong about intensity. 😅

he'd take any kind of power play really seriously, even if you’re not interested in doing anything hardcore at first. he does a lot of research and wants to have serious, sit-down talks about what you both want and need, even if he has a hard time looking you in the eye for the first few conversations. it’s actually probably very sweet, because he tries really hard to make sure that you’re comfortable, even as you can see he’s clearly struggling.

Taehyun definitely starts things out sitting across from you at a table because that’s how Serious Grown-Up Converations happen, right? reach over and hold his hand, or better yet, make him move over to the couch with you to cuddle. he’s the type to get into his own head about this kind of thing, i think, so a reminder from you that this is something you’re both in together will go a long way towards him chilling the fuck out. especially if you’re older/more experienced than him—he won’t admit it, but he’s probably looking to the way you behave for cues and feeling like he’s got to try and keep up with you.

i think his personality would have him be slightly more inclined to dom, but inexperience might make subbing a little easier on him to start with; a lot of it would also depend on his partner. so basically, he’s switchy but distinctly dom-leaning. either way, he’ll want to go hard—while for some of the boys, i feel like d/s dynamics with them are more of a natural extension of your regular relationship dynamics, Taehyun would want them to be something distinctly different from your day-to-day. this isn’t a boy who goes halfway with things; whether he’s domming or subbing, he wants it to be exciting and intense and boundary-pushing. by the time the night is over, aftercare will involve putting one of you back together again.

once he’s confident he knows what he’s doing and (most importantly) knows how to read you, he’d honestly be a dream of a dom. he’s observant and careful, learns all your little nonverbal tells, so he knows what you’re feeling maybe even before you do, and uses that to play you like an instrument.

he’d be a really great partner for experimenting with, too, i think. unless it’s something that really squicks him out, Taehyun’s willing to try pretty much anything you’re interest in at least once. going to him with new ideas might be a little intimidating, because he’s more serious and measured, and not the type to immediately jump onboard enthusiastically like some people would *cough*Yeonjun*cough*, but he’ll always hear you out and never judge or shame you for what you want. even if it’s something he’s not that into at first, he’ll read up on it and look up videos; he’s the type of person whose response to “weird” kinks isn’t ‘what the fuck?’, but ‘what’s the appeal there?’, so he ends up rationalizing himself into a lot of new kinks, including most (if not all) of yours.

the only thing i would worry about is honestly him not letting you know where his limits are—he feels like the kind of person who would have trouble safewording when you hit a point that's uncomfortable for him in a scene, just because it's not something he brought up while you were establishing boundaries and rules. he’s the type to be very concerned about safewords and hard limits and aftercare for you, but forget that those things apply to him as well. if the way you two play gets really intense, you’re probably going to hit a point where you need to talk to him about being upfront and honest about what he needs.

tagging: @jensdior

#taehyun smut #?#txt smut #not sure this actually belongs in the smut tags #but it's literally over seven hundred words about d/s dynamics so 🥴#forreals tho let me know i'm not used to trying to be courteous in the tags #mail corner 📬#txt👾

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butwhatifidothis · 3 years

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I know it takes a backseat to El's well-deserved criticism, but I greatly appreciate the love you've shown Rhea on this blog. She's one of my favorites and the fandom's treatment of her is nothing short of heartbreaking. Going into 3H mostly blind I expected her to basically be a sociopathic, overzealous Tomas de Torquemada stand-in, but she was really likable and understandable. Probably helps that I started with the Deer tho 'cause CF Rhea feels like a completely different character.

Thank you!

Ngl, when I was first playing 3H I hated Rhea because WC genuinely does a good job at making it seem like Rhea is suspicious to a first time player who likely isn't looking too deeply into the events going on. But as I was playing through more and more of the story I was like "whoa, wait, Rhea's A DRAGON?! And she's savin' the little chickadees? Oh shit she got 'NAPPED?" and so even with the narrative trying to continue to bonk me with "wait Rhea still bad" I wasn't buying it as hard anymore, I wanted to give her a chance... and then the info dump happened (since I played GD first too)!

And ngl, even for a first time player I was like "wow that's a lot to take in wish they coulda sprinkled this over a bit more naturally" BUT I DID take it in. And I really appreciated Rhea so much more now that I got to finally hear her story and got to hear what motivated her to do everything she did. I don't think she was completely in the right in her actions, but there's also... no real right answer? Like what was she supposed to do? Reveal herself as a Nabatean from the get go a thousand years ago and risk being fuckin' harvested for her parts like an abandoned car in an apocalypse by scrappers that outnumber her incalculable number-to-1 (maybe 4 if she dragged Seteth Macuil and Indech along for the ride - can't drag Flayn cuz she's too busy sleeping off death that was caused by humans!)? Actually rule over Fodlan and force the humans to progress how she wanted them to? Let humans have access to the shit that caused Ailiel to stay ass for a thousand years because of humans? Getting to know that context really opened me up to her, to the point where I can see the parallels she has with all the lords and actively wish she could build some kind of genuine rapport with all of them (yes, even Edelgard somewhat, though that'd have to be for an AU fic than actual canon. I really wanted her to bond more with Claude tho!! Dimitri's route tho could at least harbor the chance of that happening post-credits so I take solace in that lol).

And. Like. Seeing the fandom's reaction to her? Bruh. You have no idea how fucking disappointed I was. Like, I plan on making a post on how my experience with the 3H's fandom eerily mirrors my experience with the Bleach fandom (in all the worse ways), but a part of that is how fucking slammed a character I happen to personally like gets by their respective media. And like?? You hear the ass-backwards arguments from people that don't like them and your head fucking spins because my guy my buddy my good pal o' mine what in the fuck are you actually saying. Shit that never happened, shit the character grows out of, shit other characters are just as guilty of doing but are beloved by the fanbase, all to come together to form a hate mob for a character that exists almost exclusively on shit that either doesn't apply to the character (whether ever or by the end of their development) or should apply to others, that makes the fans of said hated character genuinely uncomfortable with coming out and saying they like that character? Yeah, no, the exact same shit. Like. Literally. Even down to the ableism! The victim-blaming! The excusing of a perpetrator's - who happens to be the main antagonist for the majority of the series' runtime/playtime - horrid actions because "oh they're just misunderstood and lonely" and they were only doing what they did to rule over the land the right way! THEY LITERALLY BOTH USE THE "THEY WERE LONELY" EXCUSE! THE "JUST RULER" EXCUSE!

Like. I get it. CF!Rhea and the rest of the routes!Rhea are two totally different depictions of her. You come in from CF, where the narrative never lets go of the Rhea Bad red herring due to Edelgard's own biases, and you see this crazy lady calling you trash and garbage and that your ass stank and you're doo doo and all that, and she's cackling like a Crazy Person™, and you think "wow. Rhea bad." But, like. The entire game is all about subversion. Dimitri isn't quite the pure hearted fairytale prince. Claude isn't a cold, devious schemer. Edelgard isn't the honest and forward person who cares for her people, just coldly. These are the first impressions you get from the lords, and they're all wrong. But nah, Rhea should be treated like the Agarthans and there's nothing subversive about her. She's Just Evil, because the beginning of the game says so just ignore all the shit that makes her not evil, and thus should be treated as such. Imma be mean for a hot second... you have to genuinely lack reading comprehension to believe the overall narrative of 3H makes Rhea to be a morally black bad guy. You can't hide behind the "only played one route" excuse... ever, really? The fuck are you doing contributing to discussions of the game when you... haven't finished it?

But, like, anyway lol got a bit sidetracked. Rhea deserves so much more love in this fandom than she gets, and I might not be able to really change that much... but I can wait for my Rhea zine to finally come in at least lmao

#ask #anon #Rhea (fire emblem)#like this will always be a Rhea-loving space never you worry nonnie #sorry if I got a tad mean but oh my god this fandom can be exhausting lmao

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sleepymccoy · 4 years

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sleepy’s fic masterlist

Doing this cos I wanted to! And I can’t find the short things I’ve written on tumblr half the time, so i wanted a place to go to find them. I’ll edit this whenever I post something new and give it a quick reblog when I do <3

Tumblr shorts

Inventions and Ice-cream

A chererful conversation between Crowley and Aziraphale about their favourite invention humans have come up with. Also read for hand holding, ice-cream, and macking out against the Bentley door. Goes hard on the hand holding stuff

1600-ish words

What kind of lover are you?

Filled a prompt, wing grooming by South Downs. It turned into something very soft, very loving, with some acknowledgement of the aftereffects of trauma and constant threat and the anxiety that would be on you from that. Also, some nice massaging and snark from the main two. I feel like I’m getting a hug when I read this, thb

1200-ish words

Chamomille

Aziraphale notices Crowley getting tired and swings into action with a prepared bedtime routine. Crowley is not consulted. Very short and sweet

350-ish words

Monsieur and Difficult Topics

Crowley and Aziraphale are having a meal together after the apocalypse. Crowley says they're not friends and a very challenging conversation follows as Aziraphale tries to correct this. This is a pre romance thing, so they finish having had a worthwhile conversation, not leaping into dating

2000-ish words

Burnt Coffee and Crosswords

Crowley stumbles out of bed and finds that Aziraphale has, yet again, snuck into his flat while he was asleep. Fluff and fondness ensue

1000-ish words

Absolutely Adorably Nauseating

Outsider POV of Aziraphale and Crowley having very dramatic public fights. Three different stories. Mainly meant to be funny, but has some nice fluff in it

2000-ish words

How can someone as clever as you be so handsome?

Aziraphale remembers Crowley calling him clever in an angry moment and fondly teases him for it. Very fluffy.

1000-ish words

Gifts

Through the years Crowley has been giving Aziraphale gifts that are, overwhelmingly, in poor taste. Fluffy and silly, has pictures

2000-ish words

An Unpleasant Suprise

A butteromens effort. The similar fics were Aziraphale saving Crowley from Gabriel, I wanted to do a twist that had Crowley more engaged in the fight. Turns into an awful lot of flirting and the like at the end, it’s a fun read. Quick warning for a brief decrip of gore from being burnt, but I move on pretty fast

3500-ish words

A New Eden

Filled a prompt; “I’m going to need you to put some underwear on before you say anything else.” It’s not sexy, but by the virtue of the prompt there is dick. Mostly speechless Crowley, though.

1200-ish words

Entirely Unapologetic

Filled a prompt; “so why did I have to punch that guy?” Features protective Crowley and blustering Aziraphale

500-ish words

Be Unashamed With Me

Crowley’s waiting for Aziraphale to leave a church and as he waits he gets a bit sad about his demon-hood and remembers how hopeless he was before he and Aziraphale got together. When Aziraphale joins him a lot of fluff and compliments follow to cheer Crowley up. Which works. Gets a bit flirty.

1500-ish words

Climb Every Mountain

In the biblical narrative, God tells Abraham to sacrifice his son, Isaac, on Moriah. Abraham begins to comply, when a messenger from God interrupts him. Abraham then sees a ram and sacrifices it instead. In the me narrative, Crowley does a favour for Aziraphale then swiftly changes his mind and doesn’t let the kid be killed.

1200-ish words

How Many Ways Can I Say...

A very short form fic, more a casual tumblr post, but it has some cute descriptions of different ways Aziraphale can sat I love you to Crowley

500-ish words

AO3 links

If You Like

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link to some relevant art

a take on the few days between apocalypse and the body switch, cos Aziraphale goes from surprised at Crowley offering to let him crash at his apartment, to swapping bodies and letting Crowley risk himself. So it’s following Aziraphale’s trauma and consideration. Lots of bed sharing and a very fluffy body-positivity ending with Aziraphale’s golden stretch marks.

10,000-ish words

Nothing’s Changed

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A week into July and Crowley has finished sleeping in. He gives Aziraphale a ring and receives a very frosty reception. Although Aziraphale insists nothing has changed, Crowley suspects otherwise. Fic includes Aziraphale pinching Crowley to prove he’s not dreaming

2000-ish words

Slipped My Mind

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Crowley and Aziraphale are so used to not being in a relationship that its quite easy to slip into old habits and forget that they’re allowed to touch now. A bit of angst, but mostly fluffy as they get used to this new normal.

6000-ish words

Requisite Lockdown Fic

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This was actually a tumblr short fic I wrote, but it got crazy out of hand and the format is much easier on ao3 so I’m linking it here. Told entirely through phone calls in the same format as the lockdown youtube special. Crowley is setting boundaries for the first time and Aziraphale is struggling to adjust to these new rules. But it goes well

4000-ish words

To Seduce, Beguile, and Entice

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Crowley isn’t any good at seduction temptations. This comes up one night and Aziraphale is concerned because he’s seduced in Crowley’s name before. All part of the Arrangement. So, of course, the only solution is for Aziraphale to teach Crowley how to seduce. It gets out of hand quickly. The last chapter is post apocalypse and Crowley tries his hand at seducing Aziraphale in a very intentionally referential way, as a kind of method to express that he’s actually interested in a relationship.

10,000-ish words

Still Waking Up

link to some relevant art

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Follows the pair for about two years after the apocalypse as Crowley is behaving oddly and Aziraphale is figuring everything out. This is your trauma recovery fic! Crowley has nightmares and a fear of fire and some abandonment. Aziraphale is lonely and feels deeply incompetent and lost, as well as having not fully resolved some of his issues with Heaven. They learn how to be on their own side together rather than keeping it all separate and protective. Also, bed sharing.

30,000-ish words

Not Quite Human

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Omnipotent POV (but not god) that sorta swaps between them. It’s just a simple 18 hours or so in the shop on afternoon as they’ve begun to get more physically affectionate. This is a decent mutual pining fic. I tried to lean into the real not-human stuff they’ve both got going on. It’s your classic admission of love fic with plenty of panicking Crowley. Features some smut with a sex-positive, asexual Aziraphale and a sex-neutral, demisexual Crowley.

10,000-ish words

the kind of thing one says easily

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This is my silly take on an au. Everything is exactly the same but they actually communicate honestly occasionally. Wild, I know. We follow Crowley and Aziraphale through moments of time in their history (some canon friendly, like follow ons from scenes in the tv show, some made up) as Crowley quite simply tells Aziraphale that he loves him. And Aziraphale gets used to it and learns to be honest in return. Things really come to a head as the apocalypse approaches. The last chapter is a sex scene, but it’s very very loving rather than smutty.

15,000-ish words

Soft.

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This is a very fluffy fic. Crowley tells Aziraphale he has a nice body and it dredges up Aziraphale’s residual concerns over what Gabriel said and in the panic-fueled conversation that follows as Crowley tries to right his wrong they slowly step in sync into discussing their feelings and wants. This fic is the big three, communication, consent, and soft. (gets a bit sexy too, but it’s pretty tame)

10,000-ish words

Is It Worth It Yet

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Around abouts the 1000AD mark, in what would become Turkey a few hundred years later, Crowley sat down, took a breath, and told Aziraphale how he feels in a total trainwreck of a conversation. Chapter 1, that conversation. Of course, Aziraphale would then expect Crowley to bring it all up again after the apocalypse, and when he doesn't he decides to take matters into his own hands and broach the topic himself. It doesn't go as well as he'd hoped. Good ending tho, don't worry guys. If you need an overload of angst then a big old hug to pull you up again, this is a good one.

10,000-ish words

Summoned

link to relevant (lemon) art

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Post apocalypse, timeline unspecified. Heaven and Hell refangle the way humans summonings work so it only applies to Aziraphale and Crowley. This means Crowley finds himself summoned an awful lot more than usual. We see their relationship readjust after the apocalypse in snippets of moments as Crowley’s been summoned. It’s mostly fairly light hearted, but there’s a couple chapters of pretty good angst and one very sexy chapter at the end! Just straight up smut, of the light d/s variety

13,000-ish words

Try Some Pride On For A Day

link to some relevant art

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Shortly after the apocalypse, Aziraphale set a challenge down. Sin vs virtue. Each chapter shows an attempt from Crowley to get Aziraphale to succumb to sin, and Aziraphale tricking Crowley into performing a virtue. Some attempts are easier than others, some are impossible. They learn a lot about each other and slip into some unexpectedly honest moments. This one gets sexy but not out of hand. Aziraphale is pretty explicitly asexual.

20,000-ish words

Needed a break, gone to France x

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A few weeks after the apocalypse and Crowley goes to visit Aziraphale to find a note taped to his door. Panic, anxiety, and general sadness over being so broken up with ensue. This is a miscommunication fic with a writing style that leans toward humour rather than angst and has a nice fluffy ending with good asexual overtones

9000-ish words

Heresy

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Set 3000 years after the apocalypse. Crowley and Aziraphale live together and are romantic. They have been left not entirely alone by their old colleagues, but they are unthreatened so it’s all okay. Until one day Beelzebub and Gabriel drop by to visit in the most surprising way. This fic is my first and was written before the discussion of Beelzebubs pronouns kicked off, so I used the actresses pronouns (she/her) instead of they/them which I’ve used since when referring to Beelzebub

2500-ish words

#sleepy writes #good omens fic #good omens fic rec #ineffable husbands #i enjoyed going over some old fics!#imma read summoned tonight i like that one a lot #and maybe is it worth it #that still upsets me #altho i have an angsty wip im theoretically working on #so maybe ill dive into that #we'll see #edit #ive added links to tumblr posts #i cant believe i found them all #that was some trawling through old posts

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studium-stardust · 3 years

Note

First of all, congratulations on 100 followers! 🎉🥳 That is such a milestone.

I love that this particular side blog of yours is for original studyblr content, that's why I follow it, because you only want to see the same reblogged post so many times. 😆

Anywho, my question is, since you're in India - what would you like to see the western studyblrs incorporate more regarding Indian culture? Like, do you have music, films, or books you could recommend that we try so that we know a bit more about India, its people, and its culture?

My own personal knowledge is sporadic history, food, and some hits from various Bollywood films...and Bahubali since it's on Netflix in my country, so I'm slowly watching it. And that y'all have snakes like we have ants/spiders.

And then for a less broad question that is geared more towards you specifically, what is it about math and physics that you love so much? Like what about them drew you towards them?

thank you so much!!!

yeah i understand what you're talking about XD. i made this blog to document my journey in the next two years, and maybe even later on!

my answer kinda turned into an essay, so the people who want to, can read it under the cut :D.

wow. that's such an interesting question!!

a preface that i want to give is: india is a very vast country with a mix of so many different cultures, that one person cannot possibly know about all the little nuances of each other's cultures. so whatever answer i give, it is from my personal experience, and it is not meant to invalidate the experiences/opinions of others!!

i think india is perceived to be an extremely conservative and traditional country, where people are extremely religious. and though that is true for certain people and families (as is true in all other countries as well), it does not apply to everyone. there are many people who don't really fit into the stereotype of being "indian". so i think the first thing for anyone is to familiarise themselves with any culture that they want to engage with, try to be open minded, and try to learn. (i think this applies to every culture/social group in the world).

another thing that i really don't like about the representation of india in hollywood movies is that it is always portrayed as an extremely poor nation (see: slumdog millionare), which is really, really not true. there are a lot more dimensions to india than being a poor country. there are a lot of places in india which look like a western country, but they're not shown in movies for some reason.

bollywood movies are thought to be all about dancing and music and illogical plots, and that misconception sticks, though there are many movies with pretty illogical plots in hollywood as well. a lot of the movies which are propagated as the best movies are really not the best. some of my favourite bollywood movies are:

anand (1971) : it's the story of a man with terminal cancer, and how he lives his last few months. really heartfelt, touching, and please get ready to cry a lot.

masoom (1983) : it's about a young boy who is the illegitimate child of a really rich man, who doesn't know that he has a boy. it's about how he adjusts to his father's life and family after his mother passes away. a very unique story.

taare zameen par (2007): this is maybe the first movie which talked about dyslexia in kids, and about the faults in our education system. another touching movie. i think it was called "like stars on earth" outside of india.

3 idiots (2009): i think this is one of the most famous bollywood movies of all time. it's about the pressure present on the students in engineering colleges in india. it talks about the undue stress put on students and subsequently, the rising rates of suicide. i'd call it a dramedy.

bajrangi bhaijaan (2015): this is another dramedy. really heartfelt, it is about a mute child who is separated from her mother when visiting india from pakistan.

some other movies which are considered classics, but i haven't watched them yet are:

pyaasa (1957)

mother india (1957)

kaagaz ke phool (1959) - or any guru dutt movie really.

guide (1965)

andhadhun (2018)

some other mentions of the top of my mind are:

hera pheri (2000)

golmaal (1979)

golmaal 3 (2010)

chak de india (2007)

sholay (1975) - this is one of the cult classics in india. extremely loved an famous.

drishyam (2015) (i've only watched the reamke, which was in hindi... the original is in malayalam)

jo jeeta wo sikandar (1992)

chichhore (2019) is cool as well.

the problem is, much of the humour of these movies might be lost in translation :(. also, you might come across a certain amount of misogyny, so please proceed accordingly!!!

i gave you an entire movie rec because i think that while we watch a movie from our own region, we don’t really see how our culture is embedded into it. but if someone, who is experiencing it for the first time, sees those movies, they can point out a lot of different things that we take for granted.

i think more than wanting other people to incorporate elements of the indian culture into their posts, what matters is trying to understand how different, yet similar a culture can be millions of miles away from you.

Also, about Bahubali!! I think Bahubali was made by absorbing a lot of the Indian (especially Hindu) epics. It has a lot of elements of Mahabharata (which is an epic I strongly recommend, not as a religious text, but because all the characters in it are deeply flawed. hence, i think it's a very realistic story.) i enjoyed Bahubali as well XD

food is a very big part of indian culture, and the variety in it is extreme. so many varying tastes that tasting a new dish feels like an experience.

we do have snakes, but not in urban areas. if you live near a forest/in an area with a lot of trees, yes, there can be snakes, but usually, the insects that cause the most nuisance are ants, lizards, cockroaches and spiders.

i think i really like math and physics because i find them interesting. there's just something about explaining the phenomena of the world with just these two tools that intrigues me. i love all sciences, and i do take avid interest in history, philosophy and political science (tho i don't express my opinions online), but i think what made me choose physics and math was the wonder i feel while studying them (i know, very cheesy). but, frankly speaking, i think it also depends on the environment you are brought up in. my family is pretty maths-y and science-y and i grew up in that environment, hence i think i developed an inclination to it.

also: if you find anything that i said wrong, please tell me and i’ll correct it!!

#i was kinda anxious to post this #but i think i will #also #sorry for the rant #i kinda let myself go with this one #it's REALLY long #but thank you so much for the ask!#asks #i think i left out some parts that i was going to talk about because of the length of this post

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dreamsmp-megaritz · 3 years

Text

chill out with debating character morals?

I like Dream SMP character analysis. That’s a big part of why I'm here. But I have some problems with how a lot of it seems to go. Many people are being way too hard on each other, raising the stakes artificially high, moralizing the discussion needlessly. It’d be good to chill out a bit.

I’ll explain what I mean, and why. In writing this, I risk coming across like I’m doing the very thing I dislike-- morally scolding other people. I hope it is clear enough that my message is not meant to scold anyone, but is meant as more of a more lighthearted exhortation to examine the discourse and see whether you can help improve it so as to make things better for everyone. My term “chill out” is meant more as a suggestion (if applicable), not as a finger-wagging.

As always, everything I say here is open to criticism and revision. Think for yourself, think about your own observations, and see how fair or unfair my analysis seems to be in light of your own experience. Let me know if you have comments, objections, rebuttals, and so on!

Character morality debates aren’t everything For one thing, a disproportionately large amount of the character analysis takes the form of disputing questions like (1) who is bad and who is good, (2) which characters are worse than which other characters, (3) who had good excuses for their bad actions (and who didn’t), and so on.

This is all fine. It’s not my favorite kind of discourse, but it’s totally fair game to argue about the morality of the characters and their actions. However, it seems like it often drowns out other kinds of character analysis. It’s worth remembering that morality debate is only one kind of character analysis, among many others. Still, this is the least of my concerns.

Reasons to avoid overconfidence Some people are VERY confident in their views, and are kind of harsh to each other on that basis.

It’s worth remembering the sheer size of the lore (hours upon hours of material), and it’s worth remembering how loose the canon is in this block-game role-play story. This there’s often a lot of plausible evidence on both sides of a debate. And this means that many conflicting interpretations of a character are often equally defensible, or at least are approximately equally reasonable. So this is often worth considering.

First, consider DSMP’s size: Unless you’re a super-expert (or even if you are!), there’s a good chance you’re unfamiliar with-- or you’ve simply forgotten-- at least some of the evidence relevant to your own analysis. Just because there’s so much of it! Moreover, even if you’re a super-expert, remember that lots of other people are not, and so they’ll make more errors than you, and sometimes that’s just kind of okay.

Second, consider DSMP’s looseness of canon: There will often be contradictory or deeply ambiguous evidence that can be interpreted in multiple ways, and there might not always be a deep fact about which interpretation is more objectively correct.

Moral scolding? But why tho?? Most distressingly, the debates often take the form of these weird moral allegations, like insinuations of hypocrisy and slander.

Here’s what I mean by insinuations of hypocrisy: In response to someone saying “Character-A is bad,” a lot of other people will reply “You shouldn’t say Character-A is bad-- because Character-B did something just as bad, and you sure aren’t complaining about Character-B!”

And by insinuations of slander, I mean the way people take the argument seriously to the point of acting like it’s immoral to wrongly criticize a character, as if this were similar to wrongly criticizing a real person.

Each side tends to engage in moral scolding against the other side. As if having the wrong view about a DSMP character is some kind of serious character flaw, indicating a like of moral fiber.

If I might help myself to some psychoanalyzing (against my better judgment, and against my own advice-- the hypocrite I am): I suspect this could be a manifestation of an unhealthy sort of attachment to the characters, such that an insult of the character feels like an insult of one’s own friends or something. (To be clear, I think there are also healthy forms of attachment to the characters, although this isn’t one of them.)

Even if someone gets their interpretation of a DSMP character objectively and blatantly wrong (though I suspect this is relatively rare), or even if they really are being hypocritical & guilty of double standards between different characters, or even if they forget or misunderstand some crucial evidence and perpetuate factual misconceptions... it’s not as if they’re slandering a real person! These are generally quite innocent mistakes.

So please, chill out a bit.

I’m not sure how many people intend to “moralize” the character-analysis disagreements in these ways, but I think it’s worth trying harder to avoid.

(Side-note: I actually think people are too hard on each other in debating the content-creators’ actions as well. However, I will not insist on this here, because the CCs are real people, so the exact same arguments will not apply.)

Caveat: Criticizing analysis vs. criticizing false presuppositions about other issues A big caveat to my argument: I concede there are sometimes real justifications for treating the matter seriously-- such as when someone’s character analysis rests on a misconception about mental illness. Some people have criticized each other’s analyses of c!Wilbur on such grounds, for instance.

But even here, it’s important to avoid confidently attributing problematic assumptions to people when there isn’t strong evidence that they’re making such assumptions. Often a misconception can be addressed and refuted in many ways without accusing someone of actually believing it. Finally, even when such criticism is legitimate, it’s important to clearly separate the actual target of criticism (the misconception) from the character analysis, and avoid conflating them together. This is a little shaky, so I can try to pry apart the distinction in more detail if people are interested.

Conclusion As I said at the start, I hope this comes across as a call to examine and improve things, and not as yet another moral scolding (and a hypocritical one at that). I’m not entirely certain how accurate my assessment of the discourse is. I encourage you to see whether it fits patterns that you have seen, at least to some interesting degree.

If it does, then see if you can improve it.

If not, then let me know what aspects of my analysis you disagree with.

#dream smp #character analysis

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monstaxdirtywonk · 4 years

Text

Love of the Moonlight

You still remember that night. You were wondering around, scared of your own shadow, trying to reach home as soon as possible. You thought you heard something, but you were too focused on walking, secretly afraid of turning your head to face whatever or whoever that might be. Your heart was beating fast, tinting your cheeks red, heat rising all over you, despite the cold night. You had to run as fast as possible, maybe, you thought, you were overreacting for no reason. You couldn’t hear footsteps approaching, but you were sure, all of a sudden, there were footsteps right behind you. You checked for a shadow next to you, there was none. Your blood ran cold as you slowly turned your head, and took the glimpse of a man. The moment he realized, he grabbed you by the neck in an almost paranormal speed and pinned you against the nearby wall. Your eyes grew wide, that was it, you thought. The man, placed his hand around your neck and applied pressure, one that danced against your pulse. He seemed to enjoy this as his delicate finger tracked the vein. His grin grew wider and he formed teeth longer than those of the average human. You thought you were seeing things. How is that possible, you wondered. Who is this man and what does he want? He hadn’t kill you yet, so why did he attack you all of a sudden. He hissed and went straight to your neck. You closed your eyes, frightened, wishing this was just a nightmare. When you opened them, your neck still in tact, you couldn’t believe he was gone. In fact, he was beaten up and laid on the street, approximately 2 meters away from you. Another man was in front of you this time. You flinched and he noticed. “Easy” he said. “I don’t want to hurt you” You didn’t know if you could trust him, saving you wasn’t enough. Despite looking mysterious however, he seemed friendly and gentle. He had black longish hair and a very intense gaze. His eyes were apparent even in this ebony colored night. “Thank you” you said carefully, trying to appear collected. You were far from that. “Ah my name’s Seonghwa” he raised his hand, proposing a handshake. You gave your hand too, making contact with his cold hand. It was the weather, you guessed. “Y/N” you replied. “I gotta go now. Thank you for that tho. You’ll call the police right?” “Yes I’ll do it myself” he said, proposing to get you home too. This was a very creepy idea, you didn’t want a random stranger to know where you live. “No thank you. I’ll be fine.” you exhaled deeply. He warned you to be more careful and you left after thanking him again.

“How many times do I have to tell you fucker to not feed out of random people?” Seonghwa nagged while grabbing the other man’s shirt. “We were almost caught. Do you want humans to know we exist? They’re gonna impale us like in the Middle Ages. That’s why, you and your thirsty ass has to keep a distance from people.Understood?” The man nodded. He was inferior to Seonghwa and didn’t want to mess up even more. “Home.Now.” Seonghwa ordered and the man complied as if he was a trained dog. Seonghwa looked towards your side, you were far gone, but he was able to hear your heartbeat. One of the many superpowers his kind has. He didn’t want attacks from his clan. But maybe in your case, it was more than that. How can it be though? He saw you for a couple of seconds. Probably never to be seen again. He was wrong. Unable to keep the distance he so hightlighted before, he stayed hidden within the shadows, keeping an eye on you every time you were coming home late at night. Seonghwa knew that was much more than a friendly concern, but couldn’t control it. How can a creature of the night approach her? He’d seem terrifying in her eyes. Her savior, turned to a thread. Seonghwa let go. It was the only thing he had to do. There was no point in this. You belonged to different worlds and colors. The moment you were living, he was hiding and vice versa. But fate had other plans.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seonghwa was sitting in his office. The clan had a separate motel of terror, in which the members were living. It was comfortable but old, like them. There were some servants, abducted by the vampires and feeders. Those were the people that were doing the dirty work. Very few and faithful, they guaranteed their silence. He had a separate home as well, but spent much of his time there. He didn’t want to admit it, but he felt lonely often. There was no point in being at home, it was a cold and inhospitable place. As he was deep in thought, he heard shouting outside and Jared, a member of the Clan, came in running and panting. “What is it?” Seonghwa asked. “They bought humans. As if feeders weren’t enough…” Seonghwa was a gentle and mature vampire. He had been ‘alive’ since the 19th century after all. However, he had some rare moments of anger, rare but filled with terror. His eyes turned red and he stepped outside, ready to fight and yell, even attack the fellow vampires. “How many times-” his voice was caught short when he saw you. He couldn’t believe in his eyes. He forgot everything and just stared, time stopped around him. “I’m sorry master but the feeders aren’t enough for us, our needs grow” the vampire said. “This..isn’t .. a reply.” he brushed his hair nervously and collected himself. “If any of you do this again, I’ll kick you out of the clan. Understood?” he yelled, making everyone flinch. Seonghwa wasn’t bad. Not at all. Actually, he got so mad out of his care for the others. Vampires were a myth of popular culture, they had to stay like that. Things were dangerous out there. Your breathing was irregular, panic taking over you. You were tied up, next to another man. He was tied up also, abducted, not a vampire it seemed. The vampire that just yelled, seemed all too familiar, but you couldn’t put your finger on it. This was complete nonsense. As a sceptic, you’d swear vampires are fictional characters created by gothic writers. But no, they exist and they are right in front of your eyes. Seonghwa moved his hand, nodding for Jared to come closer. He whispered instructions in his ear, ones that had you in tense already. Jared came back, he untied the man’s rope and looked at him deep in the eyes. “If you tell anyone, we’ll come for your ass.” he threatened. The man nodded scared, but relieved he was free to leave. You spoke up, hesitantly. “What…abou-t me?” Seonghwa didn’t want to frighten you. You were scared enough. But he couldn’t let you go either. It was fate in his eyes. It meant something. He commanded everyone to leave and so they did. You were even more scared now.

“I’m sorry for that.” he said, coming closer. You flinched again. “Don’t be scared. I’m only untieing you” You extended your hands for him. When he moved closer, you remembered… “You’re the man…from the attack, right?” He didn’t expect you to remember him. “Yes” he replied, somehow excited you did so.

“That’s why you saved me then” you put things together, it made sense now. “Yes. I’ll do everything to keep us a secret.” “A secret I won’t reveal.“ you said "Just let me go.” He wanted to. He hated seeing you distressed but he couldn’t let you slip off his hand just like that. You stood up and went towards the wooden table. Your bag was placed there and that movement made his non existent heart to sink. “Please don’t leave” he muttered. Your bag opened too wide and a book fell off on the floor. “You read?” he asked, finding the opportunity for small talk. “Occasionally”. you responded. “ Will you read for me?” he asked softly while searching for the cover. It was an anthology of poems. “I’ll choose a random page.” Seonghwa said “47.” You opened the book and went through the pages in an aggressive pattern. Maybe even anxious, he thought. Seonghwa gave you some space, but you still felt threatened by him. He didn’t realize he seemed like such a monster in your eyes. Little did he know, it was the other way around. Seonghwa was too alluring for your senses. You tried so hard to keep your distance, but there was no clear line at this point. As you went through the pages, your finger got caught in a sheet’s corner and a whine left your lips. The white of the page, got tinted in red. You were truly scared by now. Seonghwa, like a shark, couldn’t help himself this time. He grabbed your hand and moved it closer to his mouth. Your heart was beating so fast, his extraordinary sense of hearing noticed this. He placed his tongue against your fingertip, cleaning you up with a simple swipe. “I’ve told you. You shouldn’t be scared” “How? I mean, they say that vampires get greedy with blood. I didnt know if you were real till yesterday, all I know is based on movies and I don’t even know if they are accurate.” “It’s kind of accurate actually. But it depends on age. I’ve been around for almost 3 centuries now, so I’ve learned how to pull back.” You admired his self control. He was scared he wouldn’t be able to maintain it around you. Seonghwa was wrong. Little by little you grew closer. You enjoyed his company and vast experience in life. He enjoyed your presence and cheerfulness. He felt alive again, you painted his world in pink. One night, while walking along towards your home, he found the courage to asked you out. “Will you be mine?” His question, awfully cheesy, but sweet and sincere, made you say yes. His signature bright smile, lit up his face. He wished goodnight and left, never crossing boundaries physically, but mentally, those had been destroyed by now. A gentleman of the old times. A wise soul, that made you see things in a frightened way. Even a monster after all, can better than most humans, you thought.

#ateez #ateez seonghwa #seonghwa #ateez imagine #ateez smut #ateez fluff #ateez vampire au #ateez vampire #kpop vampire au #seonghwa vampire

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imaginary-ghoulfriend · 4 years

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Everything that is WRONG in "The Kissing Booth" movie series PART 1

This is the first post of a series that I’m thinking about doing here, where I go around the l aspect of movies, series,... (mostly rom/coms since they are better for social dicussions) and give my personal opinion on them. If you guys like this idea please let me know, and as always feel free to give your own thoughts on the comment section/ask box (and just remembering that, giving your thoughts and sending hate are two different things).

Let’s Start!

Before jumping to the topics of discusion, let me start with a quick summary of the story. Elle (our brunnet female lead) and Lee (the sweetheart, yet dumb, supporting character) are best friends since, well... ever. And to maintain this so called friendship, both of them stabilshed a series of rules (don’t worry I’m gonna talk more about them eventually in the post). One rule in specific, is actually what gets the plot of the first movie going and that is: No dating Lee’s brother (aka Noah, aka the womanizer popular white guy that every girl in the school seems to have a crush on for no apparent reason beside his looks and the fact that he has a motocycle). Anyways, long story short, Elle has a crush on him even tho this is against the rules and from that on the story is bult.

Of course that it has more into it, but I will be talking about in the corse of this post and the following parts. I just want yall to know the very basic thing that’s going on here before going more deep on everything. Now, buckle up and let’s start this shit!

LONG POST WARNING

Part 1: THE MAIN TRIO

ELLE EVANS, THE BRUNNET FEMALE LEAD

Let me begin by saying that I do aprecciate the fact that they are trying to make a female character that embraces her feminine side while also maintaining a masculine side, but... lets put some emphasis in the word “TRYING”, shall we? Cause even tho Elle is a very loving, funny, clumsy, and gentle girl, she is also very very very generic.

Like, I did not start watching this movie expecting anything less than that, but god, was I wishing to be surprised for once. And don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate her character at all, she is indeed very fun to watch most of the movie, principally when she puts herself into strange situations. My concern with her persona is in reality related to another thing, because let me tell you something, just cause she plays video games and has a boy best friend, that doesn’t make her this so called “cool” girl or the “not like the others” girl.

I feel like by now that should have already been known, and I also feel like a broken record having to repeat this over and over again, but being friends with a boy doesn’t make you better than any other girl, or different than girls that have mostly girl friends. Actually the Red flag 1# in this movie is that Elle has no female friends what so ever, and worse than that, the movie is constatly comparing her to other generic girls ( the poplular/only care about apparence girls, the goth with a attitude, the girls that are constatly frowning over boys,...) by puting them around her to make her apear more “cool” to the eyes of those watching:

“She is cool because she doens’t care about aperence like those other girls”;

“she is cool because she’s social, she talks with everyone” (this everyone being mostly boys);

“she doens’t get shy when talking to atractive boys, she is so different”

What they seem to be unawear (or maybe not so much) is that by doing this, they’re not only promiting a very machist point of view around girls, but also trying to imply that a girl can’t have any of those other features, because if they do they will not appel to the eyes of man. They show us the “wrong options” by enfassising bad behaviors that those girls have, to the bennefit of the one in the lead role, while also promoting female rivality in the process.

And maybe in the first watch you will not notice all those things, but after analyzing it more deeply, you will see that the movie constatly try to build Elle’s character surounded by a LOT of sexist innuendos, masking it by putting up jokes to break this image (which is not very effective). They want us to believe that they are showing us this amazing and different girl, with dreams and ambisions, but in the end her hole personality is based on her relationship with two boys. And let me tell you something, things do not get ANY better in the second movie.

LEE FLYNN, THE GOOFY BEST FRIEND

I should ask this first before we start: why does your friendship need so many rules? and why breaking them is like the end of the world?

Before anwsering those questions lets talk a little about Lee, the supporting goofy, kinda cute, clumsy character.

Through out both movies my thoughts on Lee were very strong tbh. Like, I don’t hate him completly, I actually had fun with his character a lot of times, but I also can’t find myself liking him the amount that I should, given the fact that he is supposed to be the likable best friend who only wishes what is best for his bestie. And thats exactly where the problem lives: Red flag 2# is that what he think is the best most times isn’t, and whenever things go out of his way he gets an attitude about it.

Most of my dislike for this boy and this friendship, is because of those stupid rules that shouldn’t exist in the first place. I understand that every relationship has a set of unspoken agreements, and I also understand that when you are kids you have those fun (very dumb) ideas like “lets make rules so our relationship stays strong”. But as you grow older, you should know what “rules” you should keep, and what rules you should burn down in the dumpster, principaly because your priorities as you grow change.

You and Your best friend shouldn’t be making your life long desicions based on a set of rules that you two put out together when you were infants, and that’s what pissed me the most about this movie to be honest.

Elle shouldn’t be restricted about who she should date based on Lee’s dislike for her partiner, she shouldn’t have to go to a college just because her best friend wants her to go to the institute that he is going,... She is a grown person, she shouldn’t feel the need to ask for permision of her friend before choosing to do something, and she shouldn’t feel the need to keep things in secret because he might over react about it.

At the same time, it also feels like Elle is using this as an excuse to not have to come over and make decisions for herself. And you can see this more clearly on the second movie, where her only two options for a collage is the one her best friend wants or the one her boyfriend is at. Like, she is 18 y/o and she didn’t even thought about a plan B? what if she wasn’t accepted by those two colleges in the first place? She didn’t think any of this through, before jumping full on board on things. She has all this time to train for a dance competition she never took part on before, but doesn’t have time to think about what she actually wants for her future, beside dating this guy that she doesn’t even know if he’s cheating on her or not??????? And you really want me to believe that she is this person who thinks everything before hand? No, I don’t think so.

And before you say I’m going too strong on Elle, let me tell you that all of this also applys for the opposite situation as well. Neither of them should feel presured by not breaking those STUPID rules, because if they really are best friends, they should know that the most important thing is seeing the other happy. Being friends with someone shouldn’t give you this much anxiety, you shouldn’t feel the need to constantly be together or to have to do everything with the other, because if you aren’t around one another 24/7 you might lose eachother. Real bestfriends shouldn’t even be affraid to lose the friendship they have in the first place!!!!

Overall the only thing about this two that I can thank for, is their boy/girl relationship with no second intentions, because besides that, all the rest needs to FREAKING STOP!! Maybe a little time away from one another might be good for this two after all.

NOAH FLYNN, THE MAJOR ASSHOLE

I’m not even gonna try to sugar coat this one, cause to be honest I don’t want too. Noah Flynn is a butthole, and beside his looks (that can be totally dicussed since beauty is relative) he has no good or redeemed qualities.

I can’t find words to express how tired I am to find characters like him in most rom/coms. The popular bad boy with no consideration for anyones sentiments and with a hole bunch of attachment problems and anger issues. He goes around playing with girls, acting like he is king of everything and that he can get whatever he wants by simply smiling and blinking his eyes. And yet, even with all this PROBLEMATIC behaviors, he still has the hole school fangirling over him like he is the last piece of man in the edge of this world (which is another sexist thought, to think that girls would only fall for this kind of dickhead guys).

And once again, it’s given to the lead female the job to “fix” this piece of shit of a person, but let me tell you something: IT IS NOT HER JOB!!!

It’s no girl’s job to try to change a boy for the better, his issues should be discussed with a terapist or a psycologist and that’s it. I’m so tired of this “a good girl can change a bad boy” narrative, like is their mission in life to get a really fucked up guy and make them turn good. No, it’s not, FULL STOP!!

I’m so tired of this stupid and toxic idea, this is disgusting (and I mean it). The amount of girls that end up getting in a abusive realtionships because of this disturbed idea that “he can change” or “he is not like this all the time”. You are his girlfriend!!! He shouldn’t be like that at any time!!!!

Masking his temperament problems and abusive behiviours with small moments of compasion, small moments where he seem gentle and loving, only to moments later having him going around like a dickweed again. Saying things like: “oh, they where arguing and he just got carried away”, or “he wouldn’t act like that if the other hadn’t provoked him”. HE IS NOT AN ANIMAL, FOR GOD’S SAKE!!!! He is a human being, and if he can’t control himself around others, then he probably shouldn’t be allow to date someone in the first place! It’s not Elle’s, or any other girl, job to go around controling and fixing his shitty atitudes.

And the worse part of it all, is that when shit happens everything is put onto the girl’s shoulders, like he is her responsability after all. “He got into a fight because she wasn’t there”; “he sheatted on her because she fought with him”; ”he acted violent because she provoked”; “he wouldn’t feel jealous, if she weren’t wearing those clothes”,...

It’s so absurd to see that when Elle is wrong everyone is so quick on their feet to say how wrong she was, how slutty she was, “because this wouldn’t happen if she trusted him” (and I’m not saying I agree with every single attitude of her, because I don’t). But when he is doing something wrong, everyone is changing the focus of the subject, or even worse, DEFFENDING HIM!

HE IS JUST A CUTE FACE WITH A HOT BODY AND THAT’S IT!!!! To think so many girls that watched this movie want a boyfriend like him, trully is infuriating!! I keep asking myself “what if he wasn’t hot?” or “what if he wasn’t so high up in our society beauty standards?”, I’m sure if he had a different apparence our view and reactions over his persona wouldn’t be so passive.

Noah’s Red flags scoore: +10,000

I feel exausted after writing all this tbh, I’ll be trying to post part 2 soon, because if you think this is over, let me tell you: IT IS NOT! I will try to go less hard on this movie in part two, I feel like I got a little carried away at the end but I needed to make my point clear. In the second part, I will be talking more about the kissing booth 2 and the rest of the characters, and since I liked the second one way more there will be less specific criticism and more a overall point of view of the plot, for now that’s all I have to say.

Thanks for reading :)

#the kissing booth #elle #elle evans #noah #lee #noah flynn #lee flynn #the kissing booth netflix #netflix #rom com #the kissing booth 2 #rachel #chloe #marco peña #movie critic #netflix original #the kissing booth movie series #movie series

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astrologysvt · 4 years

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MTL to Keep a Secret 🤫

Anonymous said: scorp anon ✨ yep, I'm a '95 baby 🥺✊🏼 I graduated uni and dream about buying pans which means I'm an adult 😔 but! for humoring me so much I'll leave a token of gratitude in a svt q: let's say all members were entrusted a secret (individually), just a regular secret that's nothing groundbreaking. who is the most likely to want to share it? who would keep it best? or who would forget it - up to you how to analyze it! it can be a MTL type of post or you can skip this if it doesn't interest you ✨

this one was so fun thanks for the q~ and just a bit of context, i’m doing this with the assumption that these secrets aren’t morally questionable (like crime, ill-willed, cheating etc. etc) and are being disclosed between friends

MOST

Will Definitely Keep it:

Minghao: super trustworthy. if you’re out there trading secrets with him, you can trust he sees no value or gain in sharing it. the scorpio influences make him incredibly loyal and will respect your privacy, then his sag mars means he’s guided by a high moral standard. he probs likes feeling like he’s close enough to someone to be told such things and wont take that for granted (tho if ur not THAT close with him?? that may be another story).

Joshua: with that solid mix of cap and taurus he’s both incredibly loyal and very level-headed about these things. he’s not going to do anything that’ll jeopardize your trust in him. for the sake of honesty, but also cause NOT keeping the secret goes against his general conduct. he sees no point in stirring up trouble for the sake of some hot gossip, and would probably never find it relevant. may tease you! but at the end of the day his lips are sealed.

Vernon: this guy is just out here observing. tho there is a risk cuz his moon is really great at taking the more extreme things in stride, and so he may not even react and thus not register it as a secret and THEN bring it up. but really i imagine he’s chilling more than anything. any information he collects he’s probably happily keeping to himself and sees no need to air out someone else’s dirty laundry. his mercury is also trine jupiter which makes him pretty trustworthy.

Jun: it may be surprising to see him so high up. he’s def a reactive and talkative guy with that aries/gemini. he’s got such an active mind and will pick and prod at everything, but his taurus means he doesn’t really need to do anything with that info. you tell him it’s a secret, he’ll keep it. tho he may short circuit if you tell him to a keep a secret but he’s concerned for your wellbeing.

Will Probably Keep it:

Woozi: very similar to hao, though his aries moon puts him here just because there is a potential in him getting caught in the heat of the moment and blurting things out. generally good at keeping a secret, but (and this applies to hao) his sag is also guided by honesty as much as it is in fairness. he’ll probably draw the line if he has to lie for your sake. there is also a sense that he may not like being ultra-secretive, especially if it affects his routine/normal friend dynamics.

Mingyu: so i feel like aries have a bad rep for not keeping secrets, like if they get interesting info it’s hard for them not to want to share it. with mingyu tho, his virgo and taurus really off-set that initial aries reaction. i feel like the mix of taurus and virgo (and honestly also that aries want to be told they did good) means he really wants to please the people close to him, and telling people their secrets isn’t how you do that!

Jeonghan: it depends. his well aspected jupiter loves poking fun and laughing so if it’s not a big deal and more funny, he may push to have you tell but will respect your wishes as his libra really doesn’t want any bad feelings. his scorpio mars also loves feeling like he’s being trusted. tho his libra is going to be more focused on maintaining group harmony and his scorpio is very loyal to his priorities and ruthless to everything else. if your secret threatens that, it’s better you don’t tell him (lol libras are the first to rat someone out if it deals with one of their friends)

Wonwoo: he loves talking and discussing things and his leo means that the more dramatic things are def still on the table. he likes being in the know, and then that cancer sun may not handle secrets very well. the secret may make him uneasy and can gnaw at him, making him want to talk it out. with that in mind, his well aspected saturn is probably a great censor for him. he may feel those things, but i’d trust his ability to catch himself before he does anything.

Be Careful:

Seungkwan: this guy moved around a lot in this. generally, i think he is very trustworthy but he’s SUPER TALKATIVE. he loves a great story and he loves making people laugh, and with his moon opposite jupiter he may struggle to catch himself if he gets caught up in the moment. but with more serious situations, his virgo moon makes him very drawn to help and is a very reliable person to turn to.

Seungcheol: although leos are known for being super loyal, they also love talking and they love the excitement of a secret. while he has his cap and libra telling him what’s right and wrong, keep in mind he may bend a few rules by telling one or two trusted people just to get it out of his system. also, similar to jeonghan, if it is negative and deals with his friends there’s A HIGH probability he’ll tell them due to his loyalty to them. tho if it’s a serious personal situation, he will do his best to keep it to himself.

Dino: he’s very inquisitive, communicative, and emotionally sensitive. if the secret is interesting, he wants to talk about it. if it’s emotionally taxing, he wants to talk about it. and he’s a very philosophical and moral guy with that sag moon very similar to hao and woozi, but there is less of a barrier in his chart that makes them more stoic and controlled where as he’s excitable and a bit more impulsive. he may struggle to see a difference between what can and cannot be discussed.

Seokmin: you have to be careful with him! even if he does his best to keep a secret, there is a threshold for how long and how many secrets he can keep or else he’ll explode. that’s mainly because of his cancer moon, and his moon square mars. he doesn’t contain those emotions well and is incredibly sensitive to these things. he may end up telling someone just to take that weight off himself.

Be REALLY Careful:

Hoshi: this guy really means well, but all of those gemini placements means he likes having everything out on the table, no holds barred. not being able to talk about something would frustrate him so much. if it’s an important enough secret and he cares deeply for you, he will do his absolute best. but always account for the possibility he forgets it was even a secret in the first place and just starts talking about it SUPER CASUALLY because he’s not used to having that strict a filter.

LEAST

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normal-thoughts-official · 4 years

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ok not to be That Magnus Stan but seeing your last ask... how do you think adhd/sensory issues might intersect with kink for Magnus? (You don't have to answer jkjljljljkllljlk)

i mean pls be That Magnus Stan tbh, and id be more than happy to answer it 👀👀👀

also the ask you’re referring to is no longer my last ask because it took me a while to finish this up, but anyway

ok so there's plenty of things that apply the same way to the both of them - like hyperfixating on their characters when planning roleplay, definitely the whole thing about how domspace (well, subspace for magnus, but u get it) feels a bit like hyperfocus? like his senses are just honed in and particularly for an adhd person that's just great news. like usually his head is all over the place but when he's in subspace he gets that quiet and he's just focusing on his own pleasure and everything else quiets down for a bit

in that sense i feel like it's the opposite of what anon said about being overwhelmed, like, i feel like the enhanced sensations are good for magnus because again adhd = brain desperately looking for stimuli at all times, so when he's engaging in like, orgasm delay/denial, gangbang and the like, he has a clear thing to focus on, sometimes even more than he can really process, and that kind of satisfies his brain?

udhdudndid that sounds stupid but i hope you understand what i mean, like, of course sensory issues could become bad and he might need to safeword but when he's in the proper headspace and he just allows himself to be washed over by the pleasure and let go, it feels like finally his mind is clear. i don't know if i have adhd, but it definitely feels that way for me. also, he might actually need the overstimulation in order to focus and feel pleasure, sometimes. like anything less he just.... wanders away jdhdudjdi i also feel that way

also, warning again just in case! im not saying "wow ppl with adhd are subs". im just conjecturing about how a person who happens to have adhd and be into subbing (and like, specifically the kind of adhd and kinks i hc for magnus) would feel in regards to how those things overlap and change their experience with their pleasure. or well, magnus specifically, not just any person with adhd. but anyway

also that thing i said about following orders and just letting go, like- usually his mind is going a mile a minute, and as a political leader and someone who's been on his own most of his life etc he just worries all the time. how to present, gesticulate, speak, what to say, what to do, he's always hyperaware of his own movements (because he has to) and worrying about others and their pleasure and comfort and shit, so to get to just lie back, not move - be unable to move, even - follow orders and be a good boy? that's some A+ shit right there

you know? he doesnt have to be anxious about anything or try to keep his thoughts and movements in check and guess ppl's reactions or even worry if he's just following orders - orders he knows he'll enjoy, that he's agreed to, planned for, with someone that he trusts - and feeling the pleasure that comes from that. a huge part of his usual thoughts is finally muted and that helps him feel relaxed and mellow and get into subspace. which again, he craves, because usually adhd brain is just aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA and so subspace is a very welcome and even needed break

even from a neurological standpoint, like... adhd is basically lack of norepinephrine in the brain, and orgasms, especially intense ones, release a lot of that, but I'll try not to nerd out too hard here. tho i might have to go back to that in a minute

isnt it performance art that i had a genius thought that i loved and halfway through finishing the last sentence i just forgot it

oh yeah! thinking specifically about rsd and how this comes into play for someone who's into humiliation kink. there are several psychological analyses that postulate that one of the things attractive about bdsm is that it allows you to explore fears and generally bad situations in a controlled environment. kinda like reading fiction or doing extreme sports. so in that sense bdsm is attractive because it allows you to act on those fears and turn them into something 1- safe, 2- under their control, instead of the other way around, and 3- pleasurable

and like... dont get me wrong it's not that magnus is into being told "ur ugly and no one loves you" or something lmao but in a way humiliation kink is enacting a fantasy of rejection/belittling, except turned inside out? like "you're my good little fucktoy, you were made to be fucked like this, you slut" is degrading and belittling and on the verge of calling someone worthless... except positive. because that's what makes them so great to fuck? so in a way this kind of play flips the tables on many concepts because being a "slut" or a "toy" feels like a compliment. and in this process of degradation you are taking the fear of being worthless and making a scenario where that being true is exactly what makes the person worthwhile

idk i might be reaching a bit here cuz i think im into humiliation that's way more hardcore than i think magnus would be like i straight up enjoy being called worthless lmao but i feel like that makes sense, the way that humiliation/degradation play takes your fear of rejection or shortcoming and is like "but if that were true.... that would make you good" like o shit can't argue with that

and again like.... obviously that's all a very careful line as you're dealing with some sensitive stuff, which is why doms need to go through training to be able to deal with the physical and mental implications of what they're doing. and none of this is conscious of course, i don't think magnus is out there thinking this through deeply or anything, im just saying it's a part of what makes bdsm subconsciously appealing to some ppl. but my point is, rsd might play a part in why magnus is into that mix of praise and humiliation. like i think he needs the praise for reassurance even during play, which alec is more than happy to provide ("you're so beautiful, look at you, so perfect like this, i love you,"), and that kind of play where rejection, praise, and pleasure are all kind of one and the same is appealing because it just makes it all the more overwhelming without actually being negative and your mind is just lost in the almost contradictory stimuli but the pleasure and the positive wins out and you just feel so relaxed and good? yeah

but there's also like, the way that impacts the negative possible outcomes of bdsm. namely, rsd and subdrop

rsd is kind of obvious so i'll try to be brief: it's a sensitive issue and if he's not in the proper headspace for it, it can have the opposite effect and go very wrong very fast, because his reaction to rejection is hyperamplified by it. so if it has the opposite of the desired effect - rejection overpowering praise and pleasure - it might go south so fast he doesnt have the time to yellow. like he can't prevent it before it happens, you know? which is also why i think he wouldn't go Super Deep into humiliation and why the mix with praise is key - which is another way in which they are compatible because alec sure does love praising him

as for subdrop: if you don't know what that is, basically BDSM play is very intense and releases a fuckton of endorphins all at once very fast, so, sometimes, the sub doesn't come down from their orgasm as much as falls facefirst back to earth. meaning, their brain empties itself of endorphins, which leaves them feeling hollow and depressed, sometimes also moody, hypersensitive/prone to crying, fatigued, and just generally bad

which is one of the many reasons aftercare is important! and also proper dom training! with proper aftercare, you can prevent that drop from happening, by keeping the sub feeling positively. reassurance, touch, and other forms to bring physical and/or psychological relief and/or pleasure helps keep their brain from just crashing once the rush of endorphins is over, so it lasts a little longer and they can come down from the high gently. work those neurotransmitters yall! keep them up and running!

so anyway i feel like subdrop is not only a bigger deal for ppl with adhd (because adhd is already a lack of neurotransmitters so fucking up your balance even further is Very Bad), but also more likely to happen if you're not careful, because the "regular" adhd brain already has a lack of neurotransmitters, which keep those endorphins running. so adhd ppl might "run out" of them even easier

NOTE: i'm not affirming that, this is a shot in the dark. i have no data or research to back that up and im nowhere near an expert in neuroscience, i just know the basics. so don't take this part too seriously and definitely don't quote me on it

but anyWAY yeah. my point is, subdrop can be a problem so it’s something that he tries to be prepared for, have some snacks before and after, do proper aftercare, etc. like i said, it’s mostly preventable, although sometimes stuff like this happens even if you do your best. but anyway

and there’s another thing too, which is that one possible sympton of subdrop is feeling rejected and alone. which is super fun when you have rsd! so yeah. subdrop can be very bad for magnus. and like, don’t get me wrong, i’m not saying it happens every time or super frequently or something, but it IS something he has to watch out for possibly more than others haha man thinking about how camille didn’t care about this at ALL. he knows it can be bad, but he’s also learnt how to prevent it for him, and as the healthy bastards that they are, magnus and alec talk about that in length. during alec’s Research™ he comes across that concept and he brings it up with magnus and makes sure that he knows everything there is to know about how and when magnus experiences subdrop and how to deal with that. he also makes magnus promise to let him know if he ever has it, because alec WILL drop everything to go and give him extra care. and it’s sweet

on a better note! BDSM has been shown to be associated with lower levels of rejection sensitivity among practitioners. so that’s nice? like obviously magnus won’t find the cure for his rsd with BDSM or anything, but i like the idea of magnus opening his eyes one day and realizing that hey, ever since alec and i have been doing play more often, i’ve been feeling a little less affected by rejection?

also like, BDSM as a whole helps enhance trust and communication in a relationship (obviously it needs to already be there for the BDSM activities to take place and like please everyone everything i’m saying here is on people who enjoy it. how you perceive these actions is heavily influenced by whether or not you enjoyed them so i’m not saying that BDSM is great for everyone, i’m saying that it’s great for people who are into it. so don’t go thinking BDSM will do your relationship good or something, k? k) for obvious reasons, so that also helps magnus feel more secure you know. so that’s a positive way that these things interact too

and okay, i think that’s all i have? not that this isn’t gigantic but like you know. i don’t know how to end this other than uh i had fun answering that ask! also, again, i’m not a psychologist or a neuroscientist and there is actually pretty little research on the psychological effects of BDSM as most of the discussion seems to be centered on “is kink a disease?” due to stigmatization, so like, please, i’m doing this for fun, alright? i tried to make it as accurate as possible and also i get Into It and dive deep into research sometimes so while this is a somewhat educated guess, don’t take everything i say here as face value

in short, thanks for asking!

#ask #anonymous #hooo boy this is long and i've been at it for a while but it's here at least #sh #shadowhunters #magnus bane #sub magnus bane #adhd magnus bane #malec #meta #magnus bane meta #dirty mention #long post #also this is officially my 41.000th post #yay!"

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queenofthefaces · 4 years

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kyle for the character thing!!!!

Buckle up bc I’m extra af and love talking abt characters. Be aware this is like, entirely personal opinion and personal interpretation and also it’s almost 2am so LETS GO

1) sexuality hc: I’ve always really liked bi Kyle ahsjdkfk and tbh I’ve always found the idea of his attraction to other ppl really interesting

The way I characterize him is that he’s someone who’s like, typically very passive with his attraction. He’ll kind of glance at someone and think they’re attractive but he doesn’t necessarily have any strong feelings towards them or desire/drive to want to pursue anything with them. If he does want to pursue them it’s usually out of a sense of obligation or expectation—like a “well I might as well” or “this is what I’m supposed to do” kinda thing

Except Kyle DOES have exceptions—when he finds someone he feels passionately about, someone he’s emotionally and mentally invested in, it’s like 0-100 in terms of difference, bc suddenly he can’t stop thinking abt that person, how much he wants to be with them, etc. and a lot of that characterization, for me, falls in line w the specific ship I have for Kyle (which is obvious if you’ve followed me for a few but I’ll get Into That in the next section)

2) OTP: KYMAN by far my fave Kyle ship and one of my all time fave sp ships overall. I’ve always LOVED rivals/enemies to lovers ships that specifically have 1) characters who are equals 2) characters who are incredibly intimate and close w one another even if (or because of) it’s in the context of the rivalry 3) the characters have either some level of co-dependence or a need for the dynamic or one another in some way bc the relationship is fulfilling to them and bonus if 4) they’re the only ones that really understand each other

And I jus. Love that. Esp w kyman it’s so much fun taking that dynamic, the codependency and obsession, and just. Playing with it, on a storytelling/character analysis level. And then making it healthy, having them work through issues, bc the idea that “we’re both in way too deep with each other, we can either destroy each other or learn to get along” is jus 👌👌👌

And w kyman I love having Eric be Kyle’s exception. Kyle feels basically nothing towards his other s/o’s in contrast to how deeply he feels about Eric, and for Eric to have just as much depth of emotion in return. It’s fascinating and really fun esp when written from a kind of duo-redemptive story—they both start out toxic towards each other, and their relationship is toxic to other people, but they can’t bring themselves to put an end to it so they finally make it to that middle ground and come out as better peoole, together

This applies to a lot of my rivals/enemies to lovers ships but w kyman in particular there’s the added Funkiness of the childhood friends dynamic which is TASTEY like some nice sprinkles to jus add that extra Flavour. I love the concept of Kyle and Eric forming parts of their entire identities around each other from the time they were in diapers and everyone accepts that they’re always gonna he crazy for each other bc no one has the bond they do it’s so much fun

4) brotp: I should think more abt Kyle friendships tbh I don’t give those as much attention ahsjdkfkfk—tho I definitely have a soft spot for the super best friends kyle + Stan, I just have to work some development into it.

I love exploring their friendship as smth that deteriorates bc they grow apart as people, but then they realize they don’t WANT to grow apart and have to work to stay friends bc being friends isn’t as easy as it was when you were 8. It brings this really cool development that confronts Stan’s passivity towards his friends/his nihilism and Kyle’s entitlement and lack of emotional sensitivity and how they both need to make some compromises (but esp Kyle, bc I can see Stan as someone who tries very hard to not get much feedback).

In terms of Kyle being friends w other people I’m thinking it would be pretty situational. I can see Kyle getting some really eye opening perspectives from other ppl if he opens himself up to their views but that requires knocking Kyle down a few pegs lol, it’s fun to have him learn to recognize his own assumptions abt ppl and learning to value them as individuals yanno?

3) notp: honestly? Any other kyle ship. I can personally only see Kyle w Eric ahsjdkfk kyman endgame all the way. For me, a lot of other Kyle ships like, don’t make any sense, a lot in part bc I see Kyle as someone who has a lot of issues w socialization, entitlement, and selfishness along with his UNENDING OBSESSION w Eric Cartman (which also somewhat stems from those issues bc of Kyle’s sense of self identity vis a vis the rivalry)

Like, I can’t see Kyle sitting down and forming a meaningful romantic relationship w anyone else bc like, no one can provide the fulfillment, engagement, drive, and push/pull of Kyle’s relationship w Eric. Kyle would leave at the drop of a hat to confront smth Eric was doing and I don’t think he’d ever compromise with that. And someone who does compromise on that probably isn’t someone Kyle would want to be with in the long run.

I think the only ship I can see would be like, poly m4 bc that draws on pre-existing dynamics and doesn’t break or try to divy up Kyle’s attention. (Even tho like I said I don’t like Kyle w anyone else romantically)

5) 1st hc that pops in my head: my Kyle is autistic as fuck. Characterizing him as autistic gives a lot of insight into how his mind works and why he acts the way he does—a lot of his thought processes are just. What makes the most logical sense to him. It’s just that those trains of thought are on KYLES logic and that’s when he struggles to realize when he’s crossed a line or overstepped a boundary. Or how his brain is usually always “self-centered”—not in a morally negative way, just in that it’s not a natural reflect for him to remember other people.

And a ton of other things as well( including a fun hc of Kyle trying to use his autism as an excuse for being a dick, until Also Autistic Craig steps up like, no dude you’re just an asshole bc you’re not trying to do better). And bc as an autistic person, I really relate hard to Kyle to the point where if he were real I’d probably hate him bc we’d be too similar lmao; I think esp when I was a kid I acted a lot like Kyle—the self righteousness, the bossiness, the belief that my way was the only way that made sense and everyone else was just Wrong, the anger issues, etc.

It’s why I’m tough on Kyle a lot of the time, but it’s also why I love thinking abt his development, bc I know firsthand that he can mellow out, change, become a better, more wellrounded and emotionally aware person, and how he can make an effort into doing so

6) oh shit I didn’t even mean for this but obviously one way I relate to Kyle is the Above autistic hc and how I characterize him. Like I said, I acted a LOT like Kyle when I was a kid, so I know he’s an irritating little shit, but also brilliant and too thoughtful for his own good sometimes.

But another thing: I characterize Kyle as someone who is a natural leader, but hates being in official leadership positions. And this is also smth I’ve kinda written due to personal experience. But also from the way kyles often portrayed in canon—in the games, he’s always a support role, always a healer, ranged fighter, or someone who boosts and buffs allies

I see Kyle as the type of person who can easily take control in, for example, a group project situation, or when he’s hanging out with Stan and they’re only doing what Kyle wants to do bc Kyle comes up with all the ideas and Stan just goes along with them

But I can’t see Kyle as someone who’d want to be, like, student counsel president. (That’s more Wendy’s wheelhouse) Mostly bc there’s too much responsibility that it’s just exhausting, and more than that, those official positions are STIFLING. They run on someone else’s schedule and they’re creatively constructive. You can’t fully do your own thing bc you have to be constantly aware of how the group works and what the group wants. I can’t see Kyle as being happy in that position bc he’d get sick of having to conform his ideas to what other ppl want—he just wants to do his own thing.

So instead, Kyle would be more comfortable in a supporting role. Bc in a position like, for example, secretary or VP, he can still have a lot of influence, power, and knowledge, but he’s free from those restrictions that come from being the face of a group. And he’s also free from the social obligations of being a leader, esp in having to deal w other groups in like a business sort of way. AND if the group falls, Kyle won’t take as much of the blame, bc it’s probably not his fault anyways so why should everyone point fingers at him. It’s much less pressure.

(And it’s also kinda inspired by his role in the CBAA??—Cartman’s perfect in the CEO/face of the company position bc Cartman is comfortable with and relishes in the attention and social aspect of being the face/leader of a company, and Kyle can reap all the benefits of being a part of that company, including being an integral pillar of the company, w/o the deficits. If Eric and Kyle ran a company they’d work together, sure, but Eric would crumble without Kyle’s support, and Kyle would hate the stifling pressure of the head position, which makes them a perfect pair.)

(And again this is based on personal experience—I’m a natural leader. People listen to me, I can organize groups, and I’m a good mediator, but I hate when it becomes Official bc I can’t just. Do my own thing as I want to and it’s far too much to keep track of and most of it doesn’t interest me. It always irritated me when my parents tried to push me into like running for student president bc I just kept thinking abt all the work I’d have to do that I wouldn’t care abt)

7) what gives me secondhand embarrassment about Kyle? Well. Just......how much he reminds me of when I was a stupid kid. He’s such a little shit oh my god Kyle shut the fuck up YOURE NOT GHANDI. When Kyle’s being entitled and stuck up, when he thinks he’s better than other ppl, and when his own big mouth and pride are what fucks him over I’m just oh my god. Oh my GODDDDDD SHUT UPPPPP.

Mostly it’s secondhand embarrassment bc I’m jus oh my god ur an idiot—but again bc I know he has the ability to grow out of that and look back on himself with a grimace at how dumb he was ahsjdkfkfk

8) cinnamon roll or problematic fave? Definitely the latter, I love Kyle and I love when he’s happy and contented but him as a cinnamon roll kinda character feels so flat to me. I love him as a problematic fave he’s so much fun as a disaster. He’s complex—he’s tough and caring and angry and compassionate and an absolute fireball of EMOTIONS but he tries to act like he’s a logical rational person and I jus? He’s so much more fun and dynamic when he’s allowed to be messy

(Of course this is long why wouldn’t it be AHSJDKDKKFKGLGLH)

#long post #kyman #south park #kyle broflovski #fl5k #creo talks

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sobdasha · 4 years

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"I definitely updated my list of books I was reading on tumblr so it's all good" -me, a lying liar, right before spending several months finishing my reread of All The Discworld Books I Own But In Chronological Order For The First Time Ever Which In Fact Makes A Difference.

(and then I did it again after the libraries closed)

The Left Hand of Darkness, Ursula K. Le Guin Hm, so. I definitely read this. At some point. It was not really for me, not bad, but not really for me. This particular edition had various notes before and after the text, all of which I read, which made it an experience I got more out of. It's important for me to know that the author is aware that the protagonist is a raging misogynist who's stupid, and yes this was on purpose so you'd realize how really incredibly stupid he is and thus maybe be tricked into changing your mind yourself. It is a legit tactic, but one I tend not to enjoy, so if I hadn't been forewarned I'd have been UUUUGGGGGHHHH MAKE HIM SHUT UP ALREADY and probably rage-quit. As it was, I was able to better appreciate what Le Guin was doing here, even if this book didn't win a place in my heart and I probably won't reread. I definitely preferred Ancillary Justice's take, with the feminine pronouns. For my brain, masculine pronouns = they might as well all be men = business as usual = I didn't really get any gender queering from it. I can't really remember much else now. Oh, it was also part "survival in the wilderness" story, which they're big on making you read in school (which I find very suspicious), and which I tolerated and read a few classic ones on my own until they kept assigning these kinds of stories for us to read and now I get nothing from them and mindlessly hate them. Anyway, as I said, not bad at all but not really for me.

Lavinia, Ursula K. Le Guin This one's a reread--I picked it up from the library during college because we were doing Titus Andronicus in class and it didn't occur to me that there might be more than one Lavinia???? But hey it worked out because later in college we did the Aeneid and then I had Background for rereading Lavinia. This is the book that is lyrical and beautiful and pulls me in and makes me care deeply about the world and the characters. This is the book of Le Guin's that makes me feel the way everyone else feels about Earthsea and The Left Hand of Darkness and etc. I would like to find more of Le Guin's work that makes me feel the same way, because as I've said you can really tell from her other stuff that she's a solid writer who knows her stuff. I just…don't enjoy any of the other things. Anyway I recommend. I always forget about this book, and then when I reread I'm like "wow why don't I read this more often?????"

How Long 'Til Black Future Month?, N. K. Jemisin I liked every story in this short story collection. I should just reread it and try writing this up again tbh but also tbh I'll probably do the rereading and then just not write anything up again. Just read Jemisin's stuff I love her writing so much okay. ETA: that’s exactly what I did, I reread this during my covid rereads and said “I should do a proper write-up this time” and lo and behold where is it

Tehanu, Ursula K. Le Guin Okay, this last Earthsea book treated me much better than the others. It's probably not for everyone else, which might be why it's for me. It's much more domestic, much less "plot" happening, full of introspection, and centered on women rather than men. This novel acknowledges and confronts the rampant internalized misogyny in the previous three books, engages it in a way that the misandrist in me finds satisfying even though it never comes to a good solution for the problem. This book is more like a reflection. Earthsea has never been about "light is always good, dark is always bad; be a hero, fight evil" etc. But this one I think shifts the tone a little farther; it's less about balance, and more...I guess I'd put it as, "actions have consequences." It's not concerned with right or wrong, it's concerned with people getting hurt. It's pretty somber and serious, without any humor to balance it out, tons of bad things happen to people, lots of PTSD...but this time I really cared about the characters, and I feel like it was all handled really well? In addition to critiquing internalized misogyny, it also critiqued victim blaming. Seemed like it handled disability pretty well too--was honest about how people are jerks about it in reality, while still being optimistic and treating Therru as valuable; made occasional mentions of considering work-arounds for having only one fully-functional hand, while mostly just having Therru go about living and doing chores and being capable and assuming she did find those work-arounds without having to draw attention to it; and Therru's terrible scars didn't get magically healed at the end, the whole book makes a point all the way through that her physical scars will always be with her the same way her emotional scars will be, and she's simply learned how to go on living with them. Tehanu: a book full of trauma happening to people, where what would normally be the plot in a fantasy novel ended up not even getting started to be resolved, but Le Guin's writing and handling of the subject matter helped heal my jaded soul.

Ninefox Gambit, Yoon Ha Lee A quick summary of my experience: Chapter 1 - ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh what is going on what even Chapter 2 - no, no this is just, this is what sci fi is like, right? Just give it a few chapters and then by the end of the book everything will probably make sense. I'm sure that's how it works. Remember how even in Ancillary Justice I ended up with two separate Battles of Valskay, but now everything is fine??? It's. Fine. Chapter 4 - (ohhhhhhh I still don't know what's going on) Several Chapters Later - still no clue what's going on, but hit my stride with the terminology, my foreign language instinct kicked in where words stopped sounding weird and while I could not for the life of me define any terms for you, I had a vague comprehension of how the words operated In Context. Sort of. And by then I had, without realizing it, begun page-turning and binging, so I guess I liked the book lol! Another serious-but-not-funny one, but with an extra dose of War Memoir and all the gruesomeness that entails (but probably, like any good War Memoir, probably not actually gratuitous and actually in fact the necessary amount of gruesome). Jedao was turned into a woobie at the last minute and, well, damn, guy knows the way to my heart. The novel apparently gripped me enough that I don't even mind that it only came into play at the very end of the game. And hey, there's two more novels to deal with that revelation, which I have picked up from the library to read immediately! Yay! Current personal theory: based on the heavy math references that made me want to cry at the start, but the almost entire absence of actual numbers, and a reference to "there's no way actual physics works like that, it was obviously a calendrical effect" or something…I'm going to throw out a wild guess that the calendar stuff (and all the social structuring that goes with it) is so that they can break and reinvent math. So they can effect a universe where 2+2=5 and therefore a bunch of people standing in this exact position makes a force field or bullets of rose thorns or whatever and some other dude can make himself immortal. This sounded like a pretty terrible theory already and it sounds even worse now I've typed it up but oh well.

Raven Stratagems, Yoon Ha Lee Guess who didn't write this up back when she read it!!! Also, I returned Ninefox Gambit to the library right before the libraries shut down for covid. So, I had Raven and Revenant on hand for months but I didn't have Ninefox on hand to do an immediate reread to see if that made the sci fi make more sense. (It probably wouldn't have, but I would have liked to do a rereading while the ending was still fresh.) By this time there is a lesser degree of visceral viscera. Lee is brutal, however, about continuing to be honest about what war costs and whether war is worth that cost (which depends, really, on whose lives you think matter. Very relevant for these times. Very much prepared me to shut up and not whine about the inconveniences of protests and their fallout. There is no pretty and clean way to have a revolution, since it involves destroying a particular [terrible] way of life, so we're all just gonna have to sacrifice together). Also I think by this point all the character development from the first novel paid off in the form of character dynamics being hilarious now despite, y’know, the gruesome shadow of war.

Revenant Gun, Yoon Ha Lee Continues to discuss the honest price of war and the messiness of fallout. Shuos "The risks I took were calculated, but boy am I bad at math" Jedao. Oh I think this is also the one where every so often one of the characters thinks, "Okay so this person is a tyrannical murderous dictator but he is ensuring that there will never again be food shortages and no one in the space empire ever goes hungry." And then Lee turns around and is like, "Haha but don't forget this same person invented a form of vital infrastructural technology (and also immortality) that is optionally based off ritual human torture sacrifice. Like he didn't have to do that to make it work. He just decided to anyway. And that's always bad :) " (Also useful in our current climate of "Okay but we should consider the other person's circumstances and point of view" and also "Yeah but that doesn't apply if they're literally Nazis tho.")

Hexarchate Stories, Yoon Ha Lee A collection of short stories set in the universe of those three books. There's one story at the end that does satisfy the "But I wanted another sequel!!!" urge. And there's a bit of backstory for Jedao and Cheris. But by and large what you should be in the mood to read is flash fiction snippets that simply happen to be set in the same universe but have no bearing on the plot. Which is pretty cool and interesting if you are in the proper mindset! Even better, Lee includes author's notes at the end of each story to talk about the story, or the influences, or the context of his life at the time, etc etc. That is always my absolute favorite part of a short story collection. Also these notes told me everything I needed to know about why I liked certain things about his writing. "I wanted to write my own AUs," "If I get stuck I go on TV Tropes," "My only regret is that I had to cut the scene where Jedao goes to ~Halloween~ dressed as himself and trolls people" ahhhh that's also a regret I share.

Dragon Pearl, Yoon Ha Lee This one is YA! There is a lot less gore although I guess there was still genocide! Read this when you are in the mood for something that doesn't attempt to hide the fact that the plot is completely, conveniently contrived to give you fast-paced action and fun. Min sure has a lot of coincidental meetings that should stretch my disbelief but I don't care. Also, I am enjoying reading books with girls as protagonists that do what I'm tired of being told to love about boy protagonists--just keep barreling along with complete self-assurance that you are right and, if you run into trouble, you can egotistically figure your way out.

The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, N. K. Jemisin Gods and mortal ruling family's messy soap opera sexcapades is not exactly my favorite genre, but luckily it is handled by Jemisin so it's all good. Lots of Souma Family Values. I'm really appreciating how Jemisin considers choice of narrator very carefully and uses it to brilliant effect in this trilogy. Stories are things told by a narrator to an audience; why should we rely on the artifice of an "impartial" "reliable" "omniscient" 3rd person narrator writing into the void? This trilogy was Jemisin's first, I believe, so it's a little awkward coming back to them now, only because Jemisin is such a powerful writer that the themes she's begun working with here have only gotten stronger with each successive work.

The Broken Kingdoms, N. K. Jemisin This one I rated as I read for Protagonist Is Blind based on the scale of a sighted person going "but some of my best friends are blind!" In that regard, I think the book does really well! Blindness doesn't define Oree's life and value; Oree doesn't get magical powers that make her a blind person who isn't really blind; Oree moves away from home and gets a job and lives on her own which seems very accurate to me based on my knowledge of one (1) person who is blind; instead of being ~cured~, Oree actually gets more blind at the end of the story and this is considered a Good Ending. Also personal bonus points are awarded for references to her stick being handy for hitting people with. Some stuff was stereotypical, but Jemisin's intent was not. A+, will read again, please support including way more characters who are blind in media. Anyway I enjoyed this one.

The Kingdom of Gods, N. K. Jemisin First off, Jemisin directly up front critiques the narration choices she made in the first two books and then pays it off like a boss at the end. Like holy crap. I admit by now I was getting a bit bored of the genre, but the book was still very engaging because Jemisin is a master. It may also have been affected by how much increasing pain I've been in lately.

The Awakened Kingdom, N. K. Jemisin I'm dead. This one was way more my speed and you need the other three books to understand this novella but ohhhh my god it's perfect. I read a lot of choice passages of this aloud to my roommate because how could you resist. It's still heavy but it's hilarious. Bless Shill.

#sobdasha booking

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yoongisgoawaydoormat · 6 years

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Is yoongi your fave in bts? I just today stumbled over a video of bts and watched and now 100 videos later i really think i kinda like them and especially Yoongi. He is such a sweetheart. so as a fellow 1d stan now into bts i wanted to know if louis was your fave and if yoongi is in bts? Cause i find it quite interesting to know^^'

ok so i have some esoteric ramblings that go far beyond the yes or no question you asked me here lmao... i guess im just feeling very “in this essay i will-” rn because of how much i truly adore both of them. also this basically turned into a personal diary entry but also simultaneously a cultural studies essay on how we make meaning in celebrities so like..... 🤷🏼‍♀️

@gettingaphdinmomo can u believe this anon let me merge 1d and bts? im indebted to them tbh

so yeah yoongi is my bias in bts and louis was always my fave in 1d! (well zayn too but z isn’t a member of 1d - tho i think he relates to some of the points im going to make here as well) and coincidentally i’ve actually been doing like... some self-psychoanalysis recently just reflecting on what my affection for louis and yoongi says about me, says about them, etc... just been thinkin’ ya know?

and i just feel like yoongi and louis are 2 sides of the same coin and it’s a coin that i distinctly Relate to and i’ll explain why. both yoongi and louis have very distinct caricature-type reputations on the surface. both vis-a-vis their role in their respective groups and in relation to the personalities that we see/they show us.

and what i mean by that is that louis is known as loud, brash, exuberant (formerly camp and flamboyant as well, though im not even gonna try to get Into A Discussion of That rn); to most people that do not take the time to go far beyond the surface, that’s kind of louis’ whole deal, right? (again this isn’t a discussion of public opinion of louis and doesn’t account for how his various stories/stunts/‘relationships’ would impact people’s view of him)... yoongi is sort of in the same boat but on the opposite end of the spectrum if that makes sense? he’s the tsundere member. he’s seen as cold, distant, has dry humor, doesn’t like to show affection, etc. that’s what the caricature of min yoongi is.

but everyone who is a fan of either of them knows that neither of those caricatures are wholly accurate and that the caricatures belie an emotional depth and intelligence that both of them very clearly possess.

we can never know even a fraction of public figures’ personalities, but to the small extent that we do get glimpses, yoongi and louis are both individuals who clearly care very deeply about others. they are attentive to the emotions of those around them and they are supportive and nurturing in their own ways. but at the same time neither of them are overtly touchy-feely about it if that makes sense? their empathy is exhibited subtly but it runs deep. their demonstrations of caring and compassion are nuanced behind layers of something else.

for louis, i think there’s always a bit of humor layered on top of his emotional displays (i.e. giving liam a hard time about being a ‘lad’). and i see myself in that. i use humor as a defense mechanism and couch everything serious in my life in a joke, for better or worse. again, im not saying that that’s what louis is or does in real life, i’ll never know nor would i presume to, but i am saying that i see something of myself reflected in Louis Tomlinson™ and among a million other reasons to love him i think that is one of the reasons i’ve always been drawn to him. he’s so compassionate and caring but you have to make sure you’re not distracted by his bright loudness to miss it. in addition to seeing myself reflected in louis, i also admire so much about him that i am not but aspire to be more like. i wish i could be more extroverted like him and i wish i could be a bright presence for the people around me like i know he is. so with louis i see myself and i see traits that inspire me to go outside my comfort zone and push my own boundaries.

for yoongi, the soft sweet infp that he is, i think his emotional displays are equally as subtle and layered behind a bit of stoicism and a bit of introversion and a bit of being very carefully selective about who he lets in. his displays of affection and caring are alway there but are not done to be viewed and given great attention (i.e. his hand holding). i don’t think yoongi much likes being the center of attention and would much rather have his members be that (lol @ jimin) but at the same time he has moments where his energy just bursts forth. these are moments where he’s clearly so comfortable with his surroundings and the people he’s with that he feels no need to be measured or restrained. again, this is all my interpretation of what i see and is thus filtered and distilled so many times that i’d never presume to state all of this as some factual evaluation of yoongi’s personality, but also again, i see myself in these observations and interpretations of yoongi. i find it very difficult to express my emotions (see the above point about couching everything in humor) but they are there and they are felt deeply and they show themselves in subtler ways. i find it difficult to display affection with even my closest friends and family but am also just a touch-starved bitch looking to hold someone’s hand like yoongi is always doing. i too sometimes begin to feel comfortable enough with those around me that my passion and excitement just bursts forth all at once, but only sometimes, otherwise im hyper conscious of myself and tend to self-police if i have not reached such a comfort level. i see a lot of that in Min Yoongi™. but like with louis i also see a lot in yoongi that i strive to be more like. i struggle with the weight of my own expectations for myself and i internalize A Lot, as yoongi seems to, but yoongi also demonstrates such a clarity of self when it comes to these things. i think he Knows himself quite well, which is something i’d like to be better at. i think his self awareness (something i think namjoon also has in spades) and his work ethic are admirable and inspire me greatly. he just seems so Lucid Perceptive and Insightful about his situation, and that encourages me to be more honest with myself about my own situation.

and like maybe this is all just a diatribe that could be applied by anyone to their fave celeb? there’s levels to abstraction to every celebrity and there’s always interpolation/projection our own traits, neuroses, insecurities, desires, etc. onto how we view our favorite celebs... but idk there seems to be something slightly different with celebs like yoongi and louis (and zayn and namjoon actually now that i think about it).

like let’s contrast it with other 1d and bts members: jin and hobi have carefully constructed the way they want to be seen and they don’t let people see much beyond that (and they’re So Valid for that). i actually think niall is quite a lot like this as well. the caricature is the whole picture that we get if that makes sense (though of course not even a fraction of the whole person which we are not nor should we be privy to) but its still a human picture, its still rooted in a sense and a feeling of authenticity; it just has its boundaries and is clear about those boundaries. thus the consumer public gets a discrete, self-contained persona whose likeability isn’t necessarily dependent on the consumer’s ability to relate or see themselves in the persona but rather is simply likeable!

then you have liam and jungkook who i see as quite similar in some ways for some reason (which im sure is gonna get me yelled at lmao). i dont mean that i think they’re similar people just that i think both of them are quite earnest and what you see is what you get with them. i don’t think either of them have it in them to pull a jin/hobi/harry (see below) and construct/be viligent about the boundaries of their persona. i think tae and jimin are mostly like this as well. they’re all just kind of unapologetically themselves (liam particularly after 1d ended, tho i know that, ironically, many feel he’s a bit of a poser nowadays)? i see these types of figures as similar to the type above just with less stable boundaries/less concern for those boundaries.

then you have harry whose caricature is constructed to be larger than life, to be almost non-human in its Celeb-ification. Harry Styles™ is not meant to allow for reflection of yourself in it. the consumer is not supposed to find parts of themselves relating to Harry Styles™, that defeats the purposes of the larger than lifeness of Harry Styles™. (i know this sounds bad and don’t get me wrong i do hate harry lol but i also don’t think this is an inherently Bad way to be a celebrity. it’s the david bowie, lady gaga [pre-joanne] school of celebrity and its fine, i just think it should be recognized for what it is and i think its very different from how bts and the other members of 1d operate [though i recognize that some people would view zayn in this light]).

personally i think yoongi and louis (and zayn and namjoon, to account for everyone in this analysis here) don’t fit into the above categories. clearly i dont think any of these four are in the Harry Styles™-type camp (duh). but i also don’t think they fit into the authentic-but-carefully-boundaried jin/hobi/niall camp nor the what-you-see-is-what-you-get liam/maknae line camp. i think these 4 occupy a limbo space between the two ‘categories.’

anyways, the long and the short of it is that we all make our own meaning in celebrities. for me, i find myself drawn to yoongi and louis because i see traits of my own reflected back at the same time and in the same person that i see aspirational traits. im inspired and im comforted by this duality that yoongi and louis provide for me. i love all the members of 1d and bts (except harry lolz) but yoongi and louis (and zayn and namjoon, who i’d say is my 2nd bias in bts if that wasn’t already clear) hold special places in my heart because of how they occupy my sort of nebulous fourth category of celebhood.

anyways, i’m pretty sure no one is still reading this, which i do Not blame you for, but that’s my two cents! i love min yoongi and louis tomlinson, whats new!!!!!!!!!

#bts #1d #louis #yoongi #zayn #namjoon #Anonymous

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scoundrels-in-love · 6 years

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For the OC ask game: 3, 10, 11, 18, 21, 36, 42 and 45. You can answer about any OC, but you know I love my boy Awan.

This only took me like a week or more. I’m so sorry. I am going to answer this for your boy Awan + Another OC in shorter way, if I have someone that this question applies to vividly.

Under cut cause long af.

Ask me OC asks 1 or 2? (But specify which one, if you do? :D)

3. What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?Awan has no complaints, really. His parents were busy and out of house, even village, for most of the time, providing for him and his siblings, but when they were home, they’d always listen to him and find time for him, the best they could. Even if they couldn’t quite believe his incredulous stories of things he has seen or experienced on his small adventures. But no adult really did. His father taught him a lot about fishing, the ocean, general survival and encouraged him to pursue what he wanted, sensibly. Even after Awan left with the lions, he’d return from time to time, always to be greeted warmly and sent off with loving, encouraging worry. His father is long gone now and Awan holds nostalgic warmth for him and his childhood, for the most part.

Leila adored and idolized her parents, really. With all her child’s heart. Losing them really did a number on her, psychologically. Over time, she grew to temporarily resent them, father in particular, and in some ways she still has not made up with him in her mind. She might, she might not. Even if she does, she realizes he was far from flawless and eternally wise (or kind) as she pictured in her early years.

10. Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?Awan used to love to run around part undressed, playing on the ocean shore. Even when he would have to dress more warmly due to weather or little expeditions into the woods or the mountains, he’d love to stay barefoot. That is one thing that hasn’t changed - he really loves walking barefooted in nature, to dig his toes in the sand and feel little waves lap at his feet. But overall, he is definitely more on the ‘let’s bundle up’ type now. Good part because being around the lions is constant drain on his energy and he is more prone to feeling cold.

I8a feels fine either way. She does not feel cold or hot easily, regulating her body temperature and the fabrics of her clothes work similarly as well. She is more about how things look and feel. Patterns, design, fabrics. She could go all out in huge dress or skintight bodysuit with cleavage for days. Or bikini. The concept of more skin/showing off curves = sexy does not register with her, because ‘sexiness’ does not mean anything to her, other than a criteria that humans use. This has sent the wrong signals and gotten the wrong attention and later on, she knows how to ‘control’ her appearance to suit missions, but it’s just a purposely learned behavior.

11. In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

This is a good question for Awan. I’ve actually not considered this. I feel like his biggest fear moment is yet to come, but in the past? Possibly ending up in a small rockslide when he was 7 or 8 in the mountains. He got really lucky then, getting only broken ankle and whole lot of bruises and scratches, but the fear was great, so was impact of his parents’ worries and he has become a lot more observant/cautious about his surroundings since then. Even known ones, because you never know what small change has transpired to change everything.

For Ryan, I think it was the moment he realized he’s probably going to legit lose his arm and eventually life. He was stuck in apathy and depression loop for a long time, he’s still not out of it (in some ways it has even worsened), but the pain was getting way too much and survival instincts kicked in... Except there wasn’t much of anywhere to turn to help. So he went to some place that turned him into a test bunny in ways that weren’t comforting or fear-soothing in itself. He was rightfully afraid for his life, also at their hands. And in some ways, that fear and hate hasn’t gone away and he’s always internally snarling and baring teeth at them like a dog backed in corner. Looking for a way out that would hopefully also give him a way to tear a chunk out of their shins.

18. Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

Awan would definitely pick wisdom. Ambition without wisdom can be borderline greed - because if you don’t pick what you want wisely, it can be quite dangerous. And so can be the ways you go for it. Ambition is good, but it can’t be the sole thing driving you, it can’t ride on itself alone.

Awkward moment when all characters I’ve spoken more about would more or less agree with this viewpoint. I mean, both Leila and Elinor would strongly be like, sometimes you gotta just drive forward and Elinor might appreciate wisely guided ambition but she is definitely impulsive as heck. So, yes, this was sort of meta question for me, lol.

21. If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

Awan definitely feels like he has caused it in some way. With great power comes great responsibility and feeling like you could’ve prevented it. You had to foresee. In fact, he may end up feeling guilty for things that weren’t even connected to him at times, especially in the initial period of living with the lions. Time has dulled this, he can outweigh what was in his control, what was his responsibility, and what was not. But the mindset is there.

Elinor is a mix of two. Honestly, deep down she’s definitely ‘I’m guilty for everything’ type, but it’s not in her nature to reveal that to many people, if any at all. Not to the very bitter dredges, anyway. So, she can and will blame other people, often rightfully, call them out on their bullshit and what they did wrong. She can be petty and bitter and downright cruel and then deal with original guilt + guilt that stems from issues she caused with this reaction via drink (tho this is more of her pirate!self method) or putting herself in harm’s way, starting bar fight’s etc. Being generally reckless, bordering physically abusive to her own body.

36. How does your character behave around people they dislike?

Awan... is reserved with his emotions. For the most part. But just as you will know that he is warming up to you, you will probably feel the cold shoulder, the stare that goes deep into you, trying to sort you out, the absence of laughter sparkle or smile. Serious Awan to the max, not inclined to do any favors to you/help you specifically. Not going to get a card reading from him, for sure.

And, well, if Awan doesn’t like you, you will probably have one very grumpy black lion showing his dislike in every way, from petty things like tripping you to downright slowly tearing down you as a person and all that you love. Though, unless you’re truly a villain (and even then), Awan will try to rein that in.

If Elinor doesn’t like you, you’ll know. She’s snarky, argumentative and at times, down right rude to people as is, and if you have earned her dislike from her, she will not be afraid to fight you, physically even. Especially if you’re forced to interact. Otherwise, she might resort to just ignoring you and rebuking you with some snark. Now, there’s the fact that some people that she does treasure get pretty similar treatment, since they do irritate her as well... But they can tell the difference. Or so they say and she just rolls her eyes.

42. Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

I would say the lions, but it is more a sibling dynamic with Awan, especially with Achan. Meira can be sort of kind but overbearing mother, but she also listens to him deeply, so, again perhaps more of older sister that wants to mother him, but understand he’s an adult with important insight. Other important familial figures also fall into the vein of sibling, instead of parents.

Leila did have someone, but she was abusive and cruel (while having best intentions for Leila) and died at the girl’s hands. It was the natural order of things, though, just the ‘madame’ did not expect the day to come so soon. Leila bears many physical and mental scars that still ache, given by this person. And lives in mild fear that if she was ever in position of being parental figure to anyone, she would hand this side of her experience down more than the fading memory of her biological parent’s love. (Mostly groundless fear, but that is what I know.)

45. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

Awan knows with certainty that you do not cease to exist when your physical body dies, that there is spirit and soul and the concept of heaven and hell the Outside World has is very tilted and not true. He knows some come back and cycle through lives, but also that not all do or wish to. He is at peace with what will happen to him after he dies. He is, however, not at peace with thought of the chaos his death will bring to the world, or idea of leaving something or someone hurt/unaccomplished.

In fact, most characters I’ve spoken of, again, fall in this same vein. No matter if they believe in something after they die or not, they’re okay with the concept of it and their bigger fear is failing to do something in their lives. Such as Elek. I8a knows she will join a higher consciousness, essentially. Ryan doesn’t think there’s anything and that’s essentially sort of relief just as much shitty feeling as this entire existence is. Genie believes death is just transformation, an inevitable part of nature. A change. And so on.

Now, Elinor.... Is an outlier, because she is someone from religious background, but was also forced to act out against the very basis of it, from early childhood and has grown to feel both like sinner and beast that somehow god has permitted to be. This has steeped her in resentment, for god, for herself. Over the years, she’s learned of great many other religions and basically goes like ‘Oh, so there’s all these conflicting concepts? Well then who can fucking knows which one is true and I guess I will find out after. Don’t plan on dying soon anyway.’ But, deep down, a certain unease remains, for sure. She does feel like she will be judged, for who she is and what she has done, just as she is in this life, just tells herself she won’t give a damn, just as she does not now. (She does, though, but shhh.)

#ask games answered #FINALLY #my ocs #awan #leila #ryan #elinor #i8a #ended up favoring some but for others the answers were.... a bit too much alike to Awan's #gffgthjh #overall they're ofc different but #bienchanter #sent on a cloud

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