#I’d go run screaming down the street but I’m at work
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Aaaaannnnnnnd Dogstar tickets secured 💀
#I AM COMING OLD MAN#vip because I have zero chill#can’t wait to die#I’d go run screaming down the street but I’m at work#it’s a 3 hour drive but I don’t even care
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Hey!!
Could you write one where r is a awfc player and dating Leah, they fight before training and Leah leaves first, and r gets in a car accident
Also please a happy ending
Thnx :)
Why you? | Leah Williamson
Warning injury, hospitals
“Baby, I’ve got a surprise for you.” Leah told you, wrapping her arms around you whilst you made you and Leah breakfast.
“What?” You asked, excitedly, looking at leah with a grin.
“I’ve booked us a table at our favourite for tonight. Just you and me.” Leah revealed and your smile turned to a frown.
“Le, I promised Less I’d show her around London after training. She’s new. She doesn’t know anything about London. She wanted me to show her around and I couldn’t say no.” You explained to Leah resting your hands on Leah’s hips, rubbing your thumbs over them.
“You never spend time with me anymore. This is so unfair, Y/N. I feel like our relationship is only one sided at the minute. Do you even still love me?” Leah asked and your heart raced at the thought of Leah thinking you didn’t love her.
“Le, of course I love you. Please don’t think I don’t.”
“Well it doesn’t feel like it. I just… I love you so much, Y/N but you’re spending more time with Alessia then you are me.”
“Because she’s new. She doesn’t even know how to get to her house, Leah. I promise we’ll go out tomorrow night.” You repeated your reasons but Leah shook her head at you.
“Tell her to get someone else to do it. Im going to training. I’ll see you there.” Leah said, and grabbed her keys before heading out the house.
You felt terrible. That’s the only word you could think of to describe how you felt.
Leah thought you didn’t love her anymore. And that thought killed you.
You loved Leah more than anything in the world, and she didn’t know that.
Later on that morning, you jumped into your own car, that you barely ever drove because you’d go in Leah’s car, and set off to training by yourself.
“Alessia, hi.” You said as she picked up her phone.
“Hi, Y/N. I’m just driving into training. You okay?” She asked, as you continued to travel through the busy streets of London.
“Yeah, all good. I’m so sorry but can I cancel tonight? Leah surprised me with a table at our favourite restaurant and I’ve barely had anytime to spend with her and I just feel so bad. I’m so sorry.” You justified and you heard Alessia laugh.
“Why are you saying sorry? You’re allowed to spend time with girlfriend. We can organise for another day. Maybe Leah can come with us next time.” Alessia suggested and you hummed in agreement.
“Yeah, maybe. Anyway, thanks less. Oh, and if you see Leah at training before I get there can you please tell her that I love—” You started to say but finished it with a scream as you saw a car speeding at you head first.
Alessia didn’t know what had happened.
One minute you were talking to her, before a deafening crashing sound appeared in her ear, and then silence.
“Y/N? Y/N, are you okay? Fuck.” Alessia panicked, thoughts racing round in her mind.
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“Where’s your missus, Leah?” Katie asked, her thick Irish accent being able to be heard from a mile away.
“We had an argument this morning. I was jealous of how much time she was spending with Alessia. I booked us a table at a restaurant and it turns out she’s taking Alessia round London to show her the best spots. She’s just being kind and caring and I got fucking jealous. I’m the worst girlfriend.” Leah’s hands flew to her face, covering it as she mentally screamed at her childishness, feeling guilty for how she treated you.
“Leah!” Alessia ran into the gym, out of breath as if she’d just ran a marathon, tears running down her face. “It’s Y/N. I was on the phone to her and she cancelled because she said she felt bad for not spending time with you but she screamed and a loud crashing sound was heard and then the phone went silent. I think…I think.” She couldn’t finish her sentence, all worked up and her breathing uneven.
And within just seconds, Leah’s phone rang.
Unable to process what Alessia had just told her, Leah hesitantly picked up her phone and answered it.
“Hi, is this Miss Williamson?” A voice on the other end asked.
“Yes. Is everything okay?”
“Hi, you’re the first point of contact for Miss Y/L/N in case of an emergency. Y/N was involved in a car accident. She’s on the way to the hospital now.” The woman explained and Leah’s hand covered her mouth to stop a scream from escaping.
“Which hospital?” Leah managed to get out, her voice cracking.
“St Albans City hospital.”
With that information, Leah put the phone down, immediately running to the car leaving everyone confused.
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“My love, I’m so sorry.” Leah sobbed as she sat down in the chair next to your bed.
The doctors had put you in a medically induced coma because the pain would have been too much for you.
You had a cast on your left leg, stitches on your face, a neck brace around your neck and wires all over your body.
“Why you? Why did this have to be you? If only I hadn’t of been jealous. I’m so sorry I did this to you.” Leah continued to cry, her tears dropping onto your bed.
Leah grabbed your hand cautiously, rubbing it.
“I’m so sorry I got angry at you. You were just being a good friend to Alessia. I’m so sorry I made you think that you didn’t love me. I’m so sorry I got jealous. I thought I was losing you Y/N, yet it’s brought me here where I could lose you forever. Please don’t leave me. I can’t live without you, baby.”
After hours of just looking at you, constantly apologising for you being in this situation, Leah was told that she had to go home.
At first she refused, she refused to leave your side, but after being assured that you were in good hands, she left.
She got no sleep that night, stressed and worried that she’d get a phone call saying that you’d passed.
At some point though, she drifted off to sleep, her mind taking her to a place where she could relax.
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The following morning, Leah walked through the hospital room doors, expecting to see you fast asleep in a coma.
What she didn’t expect was to find you sitting up eating breakfast.
“Baby, hi!” You exclaimed, you voice hoarse and quiet.
“Y/N.” Leah breathed out, tears finding her cheeks once again as she walked towards your side, her arms gently wrapping round your body.
“Hi, le. I’m sorry about yesterday. I should’ve spent more time with you. I canceled with Alessia but then I couldn’t make it either way.” You apologised and Leah shook her head at you whispering light no’s at you.
“No, no, don’t say sorry. It’s not your fault. It’s mine. I was jealous of Alessia. I’m so stupid. I was being a child. I made you end up in here. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m so so sorry.” Leah cried and you brought her in for a hug.
“Le, please don’t cry. I’m okay. Look, I’m okay. I know my face is all fucked up and my leg is in a cast but I’m okay. It wasn’t your fault.”
“I love you so much, Y/N. I couldn’t lose you.” Leah stated as you cradled her head.
“I love you too, Le. I love you so much. Oh and Le, before I forget, I booked us a takeout slot for dinner tonight at the restaurant. I want to spend time with my girl.” You told her and a giggle escaped her lips.
“You get woken up from a coma and the first thing you do is book an order?” Leah asked, not believing your story.
“It’s true.” The doctors said, coming in to check you were okay.
“At least this time I know I’m definitely free.” You joked, lightening your the room even more.
“I love you, Y/N.”
“I love you too, Le. So so much.”
#woso community#woso x reader#woso#woso imagine#womens football#woso fanfics#leah williamson#leah williamson x reader
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Part I
High Infidelity | Joel Miller X Female Reader
Rating: Mature/Explicit
Summary: Tommy gets himself into more trouble than he can get out of.
Tags: Tommy x Reader, Joel x Reader, Tommy's Wife Reader, infidelity, emotional affair, slow burn (as much as you can get for 5 chapters), Tommy goes to jail, Reader has had a child
Warnings: US justice system (it don't work, probably bad understanding of how it operates), mention of drugs & weapons, alcohol consumption, let me know if I missed anything
Notes: when I planned this out, I didn’t realize I’d scheduled the first chapter to drop on Pedro’s birthday! So happy birthday to him!
Shout out to @janaispunkfor beta reading and @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin for letting me scream about this endlessly and shaping this world. Finally, @saradika-graphics for sustaining our fic writers with an endless supply of dividers!
Words: 4396
Series Masterlist | Author Masterlist | Daily Clicks for Palestine & Other resources
You’re asleep, or at least you should be except the phone is ringing and the bed is cold next to you. That’s a bad sign. It always is.
A small grunt echoes from your gut as bare feet hit the cool hardwood floor. You can’t find the phone before it stops, buried under clothes you haven’t folded, scribbled crayon drawings, and bleary eyes. It starts back almost immediately.
“Tommy?”
“He called me.” Joel’s voice echoes through the line. “It’s bad this time.”
“How bad?”
“He asked for a lawyer.”
You press your palm to your forehead. “Shit!”
“The sitter is on her way to yours. I’m getting Sarah up now. We’ll be there in 10.”
“Thank you, Joel.”
“Of course. See you soon.” Joel hangs up.
You roam through the laundry basket for a clean pair of jeans and an acceptable t-shirt. You run a toothbrush through your mouth to freshen your breath. You do your best to push back all the possibilities running through your brain.
You crack open the door to Nathaniel’s room. Your two-year-old son sleeps tightly, his mop of black curls spread out on the pillow. You want to run your hand through his curls and kiss his cheek, but he’s the world’s lightest sleeper, just like his daddy.
The sitter is there 5 minutes later, all too familiar with this routine for your liking. Joel ushers in a bleary-eyed minutes later. He tucks her into the spare room bed. Sarah doesn’t ask questions. She’s asleep before he can kiss her head.
You move like the well-oiled machine that you are. He grabs your purse, ensuring the checkbook is there while you say a few words to the sitter. Joel hands you the small black bag and a light jacket.
Doors open before you and close without you touching them. You and Joel are riding down the highway. The windows are cracked, the breeze playing through your hair as street lights play off the windows, growing bigger and brighter as your eyes fill with tears. You chew on your thumb as the thoughts finally begin to take over.
You’ve felt Tommy slipping these past few months. You’ve tried to ignore it, excuse it. He’s had a hard time adjusting. This is hardly the first time he’s been in jail. It feels like a weekly occurrence at this point, but he’s never needed a lawyer. He’s never been held longer than overnight.
“Did he say what they got him for?”
“No… he asked me to come alone.”
“Fucking hell.” You run a hand over your face. Tommy’s antics are aging you prematurely.
“He’s going to be okay.”
“Says who?” You snap. “We’ve been doing this dance for months, Joel! I know he’s having a hard time adjusting, but maybe we’ve been giving him too much room.”
Joel sighs, letting silence fall over the truck cabin. His blinker clicks as you turn into the familiar station. You wonder if the night shift is actually going to fulfill their punch card offer this time.
Joel has barely pushed the truck into park before you’re out of the vehicle, flying through the front doors. Joel is hot on your heels, not bothering to lock his beat-up pickup.
Your ID is already on the desk, you don’t even have to say a name. The officer at the front desk doesn’t need your license. He barely looks at it. It’s all a raging formality. They escort you to a room, not a holding cell as you’re used to.
Tommy sits at a table talking to a tired-looking public defender. His head snaps up, eyes jumping from your face to Joel’s behind you. “I told you to come alone.”
“The fuck you did Thomas James Miller!” You say before Joel can defend himself.
Tommy stands to his feet, the chair skidding back. “You’re not supposed to be here for this!”
“I’m your wife! You call me!”
“Or maybe you should be home with your child!”
“Oh, I should be home with our son? And what about you?”
“I’m not having this fight with you right now.” Tommy throws his hands in the air moving his attention to Joel who leans against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. “You were supposed to come alone!”
“What’re you in for?” You ask, not giving Joel a chance to answer. Not that he was going to. He knows not to let Tommy deflect to him when you are around.
Tommy sighs falling into the chair like a rag dog. Stress lines engrave themselves deep into his forehead.
“Tommy…” A pit drops in your stomach. “What did they get you with?”
“A gun-“
“Without a permit.” The Lawyer speaks for the first time. There’s a roll to Tommy’s eyes.
“And?”
Tommy can’t meet your eyes. He shuffles in his seat.
“Tommy,” Joel says, voice low and gruff. It’s automatic, parental even.
“A couple grams of coke.”
“Fucking hell, Tommy.” Joel hits his head against the wall.
“I didn’t- I never took it. I promise.”
You take a shaking breath, trying to calm your worn nerves. “So what are we looking at here?” You ask, eyes trained on the lawyer.
You see Tommy out of your peripheral vision using his pleading puppy dog eyes on you. You square your shoulders determined not to fall for it. They’re the reason you’re in this boat in the first place.
“Babe-“
You hold up a hand cutting him off, eyes trained on the lawyer. “What are we looking at?”
“Probably Jail time. DA’s office has been cracking down on these kinds of cases the past few months.”
“Is he getting out tonight?”
The lawyer shakes his head. “We have to wait until tomorrow for arraignment and bail.”
“Then, I’ll see you two tomorrow.” You give them a firm nod, exiting the room in a flash.
The Texas air wraps around you as you exit the stale police station. Joel’s pick-up is cool under your fingers, anchoring you to something.
This can’t be happening. You’ve felt him slipping through your fingertips for months, but you wonder if this is it if this is the moment you lose Tommy for good.
Firm arms wrap around your waist. It’s a warmth you’ve become way too familiar with over the last couple of years. You turn around, letting your tears soak Joel’s shirt as they have so many times before. You twist his shirt in your fists as he cradles your head against his chest. There’s a slight sway in his movements, soothing your wrenching soul.
“We’re going to get through this.”
“He had cocaine!”
Joel sighs. “I know.”
“I can’t keep doing this. It’s going to kill me.”
“Let’s get you home. Get some sleep.” Joel squeezes you and then guides you into the passenger side seat. “We have a long day tomorrow.”
“What time is-“
“Lawyer said about 11. Wants us to meet them at the courthouse at 10.”
You nod, clearing the tears. “Okay.”
The drive home is quiet. You’re used to Tommy throwing out every excuse in the book, promising he’s going to change. The silence makes you want to scream. How do you go forward? How do you explain to Nathaniel that Daddy won’t be home for a long time? Jail Time. It bounces off the walls of your brain like a gong over and over.
You’ve done this before. Raise your son alone. Tommy was overseas when Nathaniel was born. You did the first 3 months on your own- or sort of alone. Joel and Sarah spent many nights at your and Tommy’s home those first few months helping you through the learning curve of being a new parent. If you’re completely honest, you’re still doing it alone, but now with a shell of a man to look after as well.
Joel hands the sitter cash and she’s gone without a word. Your purse and jacket are forgotten on the chair as you collapse onto the couch, holding your head in your hands. The weight of the night threatens to finally break you.
“Here.” The cool weight of a bottle presses against your jeans.
“Thank you.” You take it, tipping the bottle back in unison with Joel in a quiet ritual.
“I think I’m just gonna crash on the couch tonight.”
You nod, a humorless huff leaving your chest. “Just like the good ole days, I guess.”
Joel looks over your profile, catches the wear in your frame, the silent tears slipping from your eyes. The rattle in your chest changes from sarcastic to sorrow and then a sob slips from your lips.
Joel sets his beer on the coffee table, arm slipping around your shoulders. He pulls your loose body into his side. For the second time that night, your face burrows into his chest.
“Shhh, I’ve got you, Darlin’. We’ll get through this.” His voice is soft and soothing. His fingers brush softly over your head down to the back of your neck. You fall asleep like that, lulled by the steady beat of his heart.
You wake up to the morning sun, your body stiff from sleeping on the couch against Joel. He’s up, the smell of coffee wafting toward you. You hear him talking to Sarah and Nathaniel in the kitchen.
You stand, stretching out your sore muscles in wrinkled clothing following the promise of caffeine. Sarah and Nathaniel sit at the kitchen table with syrupy smiles.
“Mommy!” Nathaniel yells.
You force a sleepy smile, kissing his sticky cheek. “Morning, sweet cheeks.” You dip your finger in the syrup on his plate, licking it off your fingertip making him and Sarah laugh. “Morning, Sarah Bear.”
“Morning, Auntie,” She says. “Your clothes are wrinkled.”
Joel’s hand lands on your back and a cup of coffee lands in your hands, sending warmth through your body. The hum in your body is automatic. “Thank you.”
Joel only nods, returning his attention to the pancakes sizzling on the stovetop. You sip on the hot coffee. Joel prepared it exactly how you like it, just like he always does.
“You hate pancakes.”
“Yeah, but the gremlins love them.”
“That they do.” You grin, sipping on the coffee again. “Ugh, it’s infuriating the way you come into my home and make better coffee than I do.”
Joel chuckles, flipping two fluffy pancakes onto a plate. He tops them with cut-up strawberries and whipped cream handing them to you with the biggest shit-eating grin. “And pancakes.”
For a minute you forget it all, the impending arraignment, your husband in jail for unregistered weapons and drug possession, the two children sitting mere feet away. It’s just you and Joel and a stack of whipped cream-covered pancakes. Joel who held your hand through labor and helped you with midnight feedings. The man who got you through Tommy’s deployment. The one who always calls the sitter and drives you to the police station when Tommy gets himself in trouble. You and your rock.
The shattering of glass echoes through the kitchen. “Uh-oh!”
You spin around, taking in the broken glass on the floor. Orange juice leaks over the table, dripping over the edge. You and Joel spring into action, pancakes forgotten. “Both of you stay in your seats,” You say.
Joel grabs the broom before you, sweeping up the shards, his feet already protected in his boots. You turn off the stove, keeping an eye on both children to ensure you don’t add bloodied feet to your morning agenda.
“Sorry, Daddy,” Sarah says, keeping her feet crisscrossed beneath her. She looked up at you. “Sorry about your glass, Aunt Bonnie.”
You smile at her, handing Joel a towel to soak up the spilled juice. “It’s okay, Sarah bear. I just want you to be okay.”
She nods back, curls bouncing around her face. “I’m okay.”
You sigh, staring at the pancakes on the counter. The whipped cream has melted into a lopsided mound, half of it turned back into cream that soaks through the pancakes. You take a bite, the flavors settling nicely over your tongue even if the texture of the pancakes is slightly off. For a man who claims not to like them, Joel Miller sure knows how to make a mean pancake.
Your mind plays back to the nickname. Not many people call you Bonnie anymore. Just a few years ago, it had been a constant. Stemming from Tommy’s group of army buddies, they declared you Bonnie for always stealing Tommy away from their group cookouts and whatnot, and Tommy was Clyde due to his propensity for getting into trouble. For whatever reason, probably just to annoy you, Tommy had introduced you to Sarah as “His Bonnie.” So that’s what she calls you.
Joel empties the remaining shards into the trash can. Several high-pitched clinks sound off until the shards settle. Your fork stirs the whipped cream and syrup together.
“Pancakes are usually best eaten, not played with.” Joel teases, picking his coffee up to take a sip. His fingers graze your arm as he sets it back down, returning the broom back to its rightful place.
”You don’t even like pancakes.” You furrowed your brow, taking another bite. Whipped cream marks your upper lip. You take another bite. “God, one day you have to tell me your secret.”
Joel chuckles. He leans across the counter, elbows resting against the granite much like yours. He sips on his coffee, eyes watching as you stuff another bite into your mouth. “I’ve got many secrets, Darlin.”
You laugh, mouth full of fruit and cream. “You’re an open fucking book, Miller.”
”I think I could surprise you several times over.” He chuckles. Something sparks behind his eyes like he’s actually keeping something from you. You’ll figure it out. You always do.
“These are delicious, Joel, but if I take another bite, I’m gonna be sick.”
Joel frowns. “You feeling okay? You don’t have a fever do you?” He presses his fingers to your forehead before you can roll your eyes.
“Anxiety.”
Joel nods. “You’ve got a little-“ He motions to his mouth.
You cock your head to the side brain not picking up on the obvious signals. He sighs in mock exasperation. Reaching forward, he wipes the whipped cream from your lip with his thumb, pressing the excess to his mouth. The moment catches you off guard, something stirring in the back of your mind as you zero in on the thumb pressed to his lips.
“You should go get ready.” He says as if nothing happened, taking your plate. “We need to leave in an hour.”
You nod, pushing back from the counter. The weight of the day at hand keeps that moment from playing over and over again on a loop.
”Daddy,” Sarah says. “Isn’t it time for school?”
”You’re going to stay here with Nathaniel and Miss Lacy today. Your aunt and I have some things we have to do.”
”Oh,” Sarah nodded. “Uncle Tommy things?”
You stop, sharing a look with Joel. You’ve tried your best to keep Tommy’s troubles from the kids, but it’s inevitable. Sarah is almost 6 after all. She’s always been incredibly perceptive and observant.
“Daddy?” Nathaniel asks, looking around. Your heart breaks a little bit.
Your mind wanders. When will he get to see Tommy again?
Joel takes the lead when you arrive at the courthouse for which you’re grateful. You’re both dressed in nice clothing. High heels clack beneath you. A tie reaches around Joel’s neck. You hold Tommy’s suit in a garment bag as a guard leads you to an office-like room. Tommy sits at a table with his layer from last night and another man you don’t recognize. They seem to be deep in a serious conversation.
All three men turn as you enter, making you feel like you’re in the wrong place. You can’t tell if Tommy is relieved to see you or not. A pit forms in your stomach, like you’re not going to like the outcome of this meeting.
“What’s going on?” You ask.
The door clicks shut behind you as Joel’s scent creeps around you.
”We’re talking.” Tommy says.
“About?” You press.
Tommy sighs, unable to meet your eyes. “A plea deal.”
You bite your lip, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. This is easier. It’s probably better in the long run, but you’re not ready to face the music. You prepared for court, not a plea deal. Not for Tommy to admit guilt with a stroke of a pen, not a judge in sight.
“What’s in it?”
”Baby…” Tommy pleads like he wants to make amends right now.
“What are you signing us up for, Tommy?”
“Two years and a half years. Probation after that.”
You inhale sharply.
“It’s a good deal,” The man you’ve never seen says. “He’s looking at at least twice that if this goes to court, and he will be convicted if this goes to court.”
You look to Tommy’s lawyer for confirmation. He doesn’t make it obvious but gives you a solid nod.
“You were about to sign it.” You look at your husband. It’s not a question.
“Yeah.”
”I’d have appreciated it if you had talked to me first,” you say.
“You’d have told me to sign it.”
You nod, barely keeping the tears at bay. “Yeah.”
The DA holds a pen out to Tommy. Tommy looks back at you for final permission. You give it, watching that expensive ass pen glides across the paper with Tommy’s chicken scratch of a signature. Your heart breaks with each stroke, crumbling a little more as he dots the I and crosses the T.
Joel places a hand on your shoulder. The heat spreads, anchoring you to the moment, keeping you afloat as you stare down the barrel of being a single mother yet again.
Tommy slides the paper back to the DA. He looks them over, tapping them against the table with a satisfied nod as if a family hadn’t been torn apart.
“You have about 30 minutes before they come to get him.”
”That’s it?” You ask. “We can’t even take him ourselves?”
The DA shrugs like he’s being generous, igniting a deep hatred of him inside you. You don’t even know his name. He holds up the papers before sliding them into his briefcase. “Terms of the plea deal.”
You clutch your fists as he walks out of the room. Tommy’s lawyer slips out with him, and then Joel, leaving just you and Tommy.
He stands and you finally realize it’s all happening again. You’ll be alone, worrying about your husband though this time for different reasons.
“Baby, I-” He steps towards you. You don’t move offering zero indication that you register Tommy’s movements.
He reaches for your hands, but you pull them back. “You weren’t supposed to take the Bonnie and Clyde thing seriously.”
You fight back tears, turning so he can’t see them. “Pretty sure they both died.”
A humorless laugh leaves your body as you collapse onto a couch, holding your head in your hands.
Tommy kneels in front of you, slowly peeling your hands from your face, taking them into his. Despite it all, you feel yourself melting into his familiar touch. It only confirms what you are beginning to fear. It doesn’t matter what Tommy does, you’ll always be here waiting for him. He is the love of your life and you would burn the world down to look into his sweet brown eyes and feel his skin against yours.
You look at him through blurry eyes, sniffing back the congestion gathering in your sinuses. He gives you that crooked smile you love so much, and you feel better despite the weight bearing on your shoulders. The past three years have aged him ten. You suppose time has done the same to you.
Slowly, he presses his lips to your hands. “I know I fucked up. If-” He pauses, swallowing. His thumb plays with the thin gold band on your left hand. “If you’re not waiting for me when I get out I understand.”
You squeeze his hand. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”
Tommy snorts. “Easily? Just last week you were yelling at me for putting you through hell.”
“Yeah, well…” You run your fingers through his black curls as you sniff back your tears. “You kinda hold my heart in your hands, Tommy Miller. I don’t think I could get it back if I tried.”
He smiles at you. You lean forward, pressing your lips to his. His hands creep up your thighs as he rises to his feet. Your back collides with the plush back of the couch as your fingers tangle in his long hair. Tommy presses his tongue into your mouth, a smile growing across your face. This is the first taste of your Tommy you’ve had in months, the one you fell in love with.
The door opens, and before Tommy can pull away, Joel’s gruff voice echoes through the room. “Prospect of going to jail really puts you two in the mood, huh?”
Heat surges to your cheeks. You’re not sure why. You and Tommy had been caught in much more compromising positions throughout your relationship.
“Gotta get what I can while I’m still a free man.” Tommy grins at his big brother, pressing another exaggerated kiss to your lips. Joel’s eyes move to the corner of the room. Your smile feels a little more forced after that.
Your thirty minutes fly at lightning speed. They take Tommy before you’re ready. Any energy you gain from Tommy’s affection is drained the moment he’s led out of sight. You barely catch the look he gives Joel.
”Take care of them.”
Joel nods, gripping his brother’s shoulder. There’s a silent exchange between them. “Take care of yourself.”
A clerk goes over everything with you and Joel. You’re given a strict list of items you can drop off for Tommy at the prison. You don’t process a word, the weight of it all falling on top of you. You came to the courthouse today expecting an arraignment and bail, not to be kissing your husband goodbye for the next year and change. It feels unfair like something was taken from you.
Joel is the one who keeps it together. He always keeps it together. He asks the questions and makes note of the important things. He secures the horde of important documents held limply in your hands.
When the clerk says your name for a second time, or maybe a third, you’re not sure, it snaps you out of the fog. Joel’s eyes are sympathetic as he holds out a pen. His single nod tells you he has all the information in his head. You can sign. You don’t have to think. You sign as flashes of Tommy doing the same filter through your vision.
The pen drops to the table as you push back headed straight for the nearest exit. You feel like you’re in a dream. Joel catches up, tucking everything you forgot under his arm. He grabs your elbow, steering your aimless body in the right direction. He doesn’t ask if you’re okay. He knows the answer.
You feel like a toddler, wandering and lost, relying on Joel’s firm grip to get anywhere. He opens doors and boots you into his pickup, patting the door once it’s closed. The car is warm from the sun. You fumble with the seat belt, but Joel’s calloused hands are there, guiding your weary bones.
The ride is silent. You basket in the warm sun, head pressed to the window with your eyes closed. The world feels so far away, but you’re extremely tuned into the heat of the sun, the rumble of the truck on the shitty roads, the blinking indicator light, and Joel’s listless tapping on the steering wheel when the vehicle draws to a stop from time to time, toeing the line between consciousness.
This is just a dream, right? You’ll wake up soon and Tommy will be behind you, drawing random patterns around your stomach hip, or thigh. The past year of your life and the past 12 hours have just been the world’s longest nightmare. That’s all.
The truck lurches to a stop. The engine turns off with a distinct click. Your eyes blink open slowly. Your stretch out, toes curling in your dress shoes. Joel’s tie lays haphazardly on the dash. His cuffs are unbuttoned, pushed to his elbows, and the top couple of buttons of his dress shirt are undone. He still looks out of place in his dress attire, but a little more like himself. He hadn’t dressed this nicely for your and Tommy’s courthouse wedding.
Your eyes drift out the windshield. A neon light reflects off your irises. This isn’t home. You look at Joel. “Why are we here?”
His seat belt comes undone with a click, snapping back. “We’re going to go in there and get drunk off our asses.”
”It’s the middle of the day.”
Joel raises an eyebrow at you.
”Can we just go home?”
”No.”
”Why the fuck not?”
“Because we have a sitter all day, and you deserve a night before the weight of the world falls back on your shoulders.”
”Joel.” You want to go home and crawl in bed.
”This is three times longer than his deployment.” The statement hits you square in the chest. “You need this. Give yourself today. If you don’t do it now, you never will.”
You sigh, staring down the flickering neon in front of you. He’s right. You know he is. You might be exhausted, but it’s tempting. When was the last time you let go? Maybe that one good month you had after Tommy got back? When it was all making up for lost time and shit.
“We’ve got a sitter for the whole day,” Joel says. “My treat.”
You inhale deeply, allowing the memories of drunken nights past to fill your brain. You can feel the thrum of alcohol already. You haven’t cut loose in a long time unless you count the nights spent at home alone drowning away the world after you’d tucked your son in for the night.
Your fingers press the red release button of your seat belt. The metal buckle hits the window. “Fuck it. Let’s go.”
Joel smiles, dragging you inside.
Taglist: @pamasaur @alltheotps @rizzraa @moel-jiller @misstokyo7love @justagalwhowrites @pedritosgfreal
#the last of us#joel miller#tommy miller#tlou hbo#tlou#tlou fanfiction#tommy miller x reader#joel miller x reader#pedro boys#ppcu fanfiction#pedrostories#pedro stories#high infidelity (joel miller)
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Emapthy Verse
Part 7
Story Summary: Jazz is struggling as the only liminal in Gotham. Interactions with regular humans just feel so hollow when she's used to the dual sense of language and projected empathy from ghosts and liminals.
But everything changes when she literally runs into another liminal on the way to the library. Maybe she can make this work after all.
Jason just has so many questions.
Parts 1-6
Word Count: 1k
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Jason exited the bus at Jazz’s side in Elmerton; it looked like your average small Midwest town. Across the street from the bus station was a cafe and Jazz grinned at him as she took his hand and pulled him over to it.
“I can’t believe we’re almost home! I can’t wait for you to meet everyone.” <excited, happy>
Jason pulled on her hand to bring her closer so he could kiss her cheek. He sent back his own <happy, curious>. “You sure I’m gonna make a good impression?”
Jazz rolled her eyes. “Danny will give you a hard time. But that’s just because I’ve dated some real jerks in the past so he automatically doesn’t trust anyone I bring home. His behavior will be a reflection on me, not you.” Her <exacerbation> filled every word.
<concern, righteous anger> “Is there anyone I have to beat up? You know I’m good for it.”
She laughed and projected her <gratitude, amusement, don’t you dare>. “If you even try, I’ll kick you out to spend Thanksgiving at Wayne Manor.”
Jason shuddered. <horror> “Right, no searching out your exes.”
He felt a <delight, good to see you> that felt so different from Jazz that he stopped in his tracks. But Jazz kept hold of his hand and was waving widely with her free hand as she dragged Jason into the cafe. “Angela, Trisha! You’re here!”
Two girls—one with dark brown hair, the other with light brown hair—were waving back just as exuberantly. Both were dressed for the November chill and had rolling suitcases sitting by the corner table they’d taken.
Jason set down their bags against the wall as Jazz ran over to hug them. The strong emotions of <hello, happiness> filled the space. Jason was content to hang back and watch them, a small smile on his face.
Suddenly the lighter haired one broke the hug and spun to face him. “Woah! You just projected? Jazz, where’d you find this guy?”
Jazz grinned and settled back at Jason’s side, sliding an arm around his waist. “Gotham, can you believe it? I was so homesick and needing some good death-talk. I was maybe two weeks away from transferring somewhere that had at least two other Amity Parkers when I literally ran into him outside the public library. Instead I got to stay and got a boyfriend out of it.”
“How could you!” screamed the dark-haired one. But she was projecting <relief, happy-for-you>. “You haven’t talked to us for months! We’ve been worried about you all by yourself. And here you are, just waltzing back with a boyfriend you never bothered to mention.”As she finished, a thread of <frustration> did work itself into her emotions.
Jazz frowned and sent back <I’m sorry>. “Honestly, I wanted to. But Jason here didn’t know anything about liminality. So I didn’t want to talk about him until he got used to that. And my courses have been hell. I’ve so many projects constantly.”
<annoyance, forgiven> “Just don’t forget us again, okay? Hello, Jason. I’m Angela and this is Trisha. We’re both studying at Ohio State. We’re high school friends of Jazz’s.”
Jason shook both their hands. “I’m Jason. Not in school at the moment, but I work odd jobs around Gotham.”
“You should think about enrolling,” commented Jazz. “You’ve mentioned how you wanted to study literature when you were younger.”
Jason grimaced and knew he was failing to hold back his <uncertainty, dread>. “I’d need to finish a GED first. And my jobs are keeping me real busy. Not sure I’d be able to spare the time to go to class.”
Trisha cut through the awkwardness with a laugh and <tired>. “Well, classes are killer. I’m almost regretting going to college right now.”
Jason laughed as well <thanks>. “Honestly, seeing this one”—he nudged Jazz—“and her workload is making me reconsider my former college aspirations.”
“Mr. Baxter isn’t going to be here for another hour,” said Angela. “Get yourselves a drink and something to eat and join us.”
“Has anyone else arrived?” asked Jazz.
“Oh yeah. With your arrival, there’s a good dozen of us in Elmerton right now. No one else from our grade, though.”
Jason kissed Jazz’s temple. “Take a seat; catch up with your friends. I’ll go order us drinks. Any requests?”
Jazz sent him a wave of <gratitude>. “Tea and a scone.”
The barista’s smile was strained when he went up to place their order. But she was professional and only asked what he wanted. Behind him, he could feel the excitement between Jazz and her friends as they began debating Thanksgiving day traditions.
While waiting for their order, he heard the employee whisper to her coworker, “More Amity Parkers.” She used the same tone someone from Metropolis might say “Gothamite” and Jason bristled.
He must’ve let something leak, because Jazz, without turning to look, sent a forceful <don’t>.
Jason rolled his eyes and huffed. <fine>
She reiterated the silent order. Through their silent communication, her conversation with her friends didn’t so much as pause. But the <amusement> from the other two women was quite clear.
The barista who handed him his orders squeaked as she called out his name.
It took all of Jason’s willpower to keep from raising his eyebrow at her and give a simple, “Thanks.” If the muffled laugh from Jazz was anything to go by, though, he wasn’t as successful at holding back the <really?> that he was feeling.
Jazz had told him about Bruce’s visit. Maybe he could learn how to hold back his feelings, too.
But he pushed the thought to the side. For now, he wanted to focus on the upcoming meeting with Jazz’s family. And what better way to practice than by meeting her friends?
He sat down next to his girlfriend and flashed the other girls a smile. “So, do you have any good stories about Jazz from high school?”
They burst out laughing while Jazz feigned offense. Jazz’s friends were more than happy to tell him about the things Jazz and her brother had gotten up to during their high school years.
Jason, in turn, told them about her time in Gotham. Including the time Batman and Nightwing paid her a visit in her dorm room and freaked out her roommate. They thought it was hysterical that Jazz was now in a single because housing had no idea what else to do with her.
The hour wait for their transport passed so much more quickly than Jason had expected.
-----
Hope you guys enjoy this glimpse into Jazz's life beyond just Danny.
Updates will be sporadic, but please check out the Subscription Post if you want to be notified when I do!
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And that kids is, how I met your mother Chapter 5 - Cornelia Street
We were in the backseat
Drunk on something stronger than the drinks in the bar
"I rent a place on Cornelia Street"
I say casually in the car
We were a fresh page on the desk
Filling in the blanks as we go
As if the street lights pointed in an arrowhead
Leading us home
And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends
I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend
I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name
And baby, I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away
I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
Summary: While you are beginning again in Ravka, Kaz Brekker contemplates and reminisces about how you were the one who quietly made a home in his cold heart and is addicted to the terrible ache in his heart that he feels keenly at your absence in his life.
Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x Reader, Nikolai Lantsov x Six of Crows Reader, Kaz Brekker x Reader, Zoya Nazyalensky x Reader (Platonic), Nina Zenik x Reader (Platonic), Genya Safin x Reader (Platonic), Six of Crows x Reader (Platonic).
Warnings: Pure sweet fluff, humor, lots of angst, unrequited love that might be requited, denial, pining, mentions of death and violence, Dregs being legends, Kaz Brekker being an absolute emotionally constipated asshole in denial.
A/N: Hi everyone! I’m very grateful for your kindness, love and support that encourages me to keep going! I apologize for the delay but here is the long awaited Chapter 5 to this work, you have all been waiting for patiently so thank you for your patience and understanding! I’ve written this chapter from Kaz’ POV explaining his feelings and thoughts because I’ve been wanting to do it for a long time and it was a challenge but I finally did it!
I hope you all like it and I’m excited! Let me know your thoughts and comments on my work because I really struggled through writer’s block on this one.
I love you all! Happy reading!
Chapter 1 - Until I Found Her
Chapter 2 - Labyrinth
Chapter 3 - Call it what you want
Chapter 4 - Someone to Stay
Ketterdam was dark and dismal full of hidden secrets and monsters in the shadows. The city was built on blood and secrets and no one knew that better than the man who now ruled it, Kaz Brekker.
As Kaz Brekker strode through the crowded streets of Ketterdam filled with gullible pigeons and hungry monsters, he felt empty and alone. It was a feeling now he knew all too well though he tried to ignore it. The feeling ached and hurt him in places he didn’t know he had for the last few weeks. Kaz felt terrible these days, his mood completely sour and ill - tempered than usual frightening the Dregs, hurting his enemies and concerning his friends. Kaz couldn’t sleep the last few weeks as he tossed and turned restlessly in his empty and cold bed and in the rare moments he sunk into a fitful slumber, he was dreamt of you and woke up with sweat running down his forehead and gasps.
In the moments of sleep, he dreamt of you. The dreams always started the same way... there you were smiling at him as he reached for you, as he pressed a hungry kiss onto your sweet lips devouring you eagerly as both of you indulged in happiness and love that was only yours. But it would all fall down when the thick darkness began to envelope their surroundings and though they tried to escape it, you both would be caught in it, trapped within a dark and deserted place where nothing grew. Kaz remembered feeling your hand brush against his in the darkness. It wouldn’t make sense but suddenly the darkness would thin out slightly and they were both alone in a ship that had been wrecked as a storm poured down on them. In his dream, Kaz and you were trying to find a way out of the ship wreck but out of the blue, a shadowy figure shoots at Kaz but the bullet never reaches Kaz. Kaz wonders why he is unharmed as he realizes that in the cold of the stormy night, you had wrapped yourself around him and taken the bullet for him. Kaz watches you bleed as the life drained away from your eyes and the storm drowns you and he loses you.
He hates this feeling of helplessness and fear he feels when he wakes up and realizes it isn’t real, it was just a nightmare but it hurts more when it hits him that you aren’t around to quiet his fears with the gentleness in your eyes and the touch of your hand.
Since you left Ketterdam, the days dragged on and time seemed to pass by completely slowly infuriating Kaz who was haunted by you and took out his anger on everyone else. Everyone in Ketterdam feared him more than ever, and the Crows were praying for your swift return.
Kaz remembered the first time he had seen you. It was a moment he would never forget.
The cold season was oncoming and the Crows had heard of stories of the number of children increased in Ketterdam who were shivering in the cold, starving and had no shelter. As they made their way to the Slat that provided them warmth as they talked and laughed, Jesper’s eyes had landed on a girl dressed in a shabby and raggedy dress standing on the dirty and wet street with baskets in her arms as she stared at him hungrily.
Jesper was used to people staring at him. Everyone stared at him in admiration, fear, awe and lust and Jesper loved it. But Jesper had never felt anyone stare at him hungrily with a wistful look. It made him feel sad as he met your hungry and starved eyes that stared at him greedily and thought that you were one of those poor beggar children who had nothing to eat and no one to go to. It never occurred to him that you had been staring at him hungrily because you were greedy and starving for the warm and happy life he led with his friends, the laughter and mischievousness that glittered in his kind eyes and that you just wanted to go back to the better days where you had your brother by your side, and everything was just perfect and unspoiled. Jesper only saw your ragged clothes, hungry eyes, skinny figure that shivered in the cold.
And that’s why Jesper thrust his hand into his pocket and took the money he had been meaning to gamble and took off his coat as well as he walked toward you with kindness “Here you go, dear. Take this money and my coat. It’ll keep you warm.”
You had been startled and alarmed as you realized the boy with a warm and sunny disposition you had been staring at had mistaken you for a beggar girl and you realized you looked like one of the shabby and skinny poor children, the ones you had always been generous to back at home. The realization hit you like a hurricane with humiliation as you grew red and then deathly white in embarrassment as you thought of how far you had fallen down from grace.
And that’s why you broke into a laugh because you were close to crying as you exclaimed your heart touched at the boy’s kindness because all your time spent in Ketterdam, kindness had been very rare to you “Oh no! Oh no, thank you! I must refuse!”
The Crows who had been watching the scene unfold, waiting for Jesper patiently looked in intrigue and interest at you. Kaz raised his head to truly look at you because it was your voice that had interested all of them especially him as he took a few steps forward to listen to you. You did not speak in a manner of an ordinary street child but your manners belonged to a girl who was well bred and raised in a good household. A manner of a princess, mused Kaz as he looked at you intently.
But Jesper was not to be moved away as he placed his coat over you and put the money in the palm of your hand with kindness etched on his face “You mustn’t refuse! Don’t worry, I have plenty of coats and trust me, this one will keep you really warm. And you must use this money to buy food. If there’s anything you need from me, just ask for Jesper at the Crow Club.”
You saw something so kind and generous in his face that you knew to refuse would break his heart and you didn’t want to disappoint him. So you tightened the very warm coat around you and gratefully accepted the kruge from Jesper who grinned happily though your pride felt stung and your cheeks burned bitterly. You had known that you looked weary and shabby but until now you didn’t know you looked like a beggar girl.
His grin reminded you so much of your brother and his kindness was such a beautiful thing that you choked on a sob of humiliation and pain, reminiscence and happiness as you flung your arms around him “Thank you! Thank you so much! You are such a kind, sweet and generous darling boy!”
And with those words, you let go of Jesper who smiled happily and you left feeling warm. Kaz’ eyes widened at your response as Jesper skipped back towards them with a happy grin and Kaz reprimanded Jesper “Jesper! Why did you do that? That girl is not a beggar! She didn’t speak like a beggar or look like a beggar!”
“And she didn’t beg. I thought she would be angry with you. Sometimes, it makes people angry to be taken for beggars when they are not.” said Inej who felt sympathetic for you but she agreed with Kaz because there had been something very different about her.
“She wasn’t angry.” replied Jesper dismayed at his friends reactions but firm in what he had done and happy because he had made a difference in your life as he smiled widely “She was very happy. She laughed and hugged me and said I was a kind, sweet and generous darling boy! And I was!”
Kaz and Inej exchanged thoughtful glances as Kaz felt mystified by you and said “An ordinary beggar girl would have never said that. They would have just accepted the money and thanked you quickly or even respectfully bobbed a curtesy.”
From that moment on, Kaz Brekker was profoundly interested in you. Not just Kaz Brekker but the Crows and nearly all of the Dregs. You knew nothing of this new interest in you and never appeared at the Crow Club seeking Jesper Fahey but whenever you passed the Slat in your broken shoes and worn out clothes, your hair tucked with a ribbon, faces would appear at the window to take a good look at you, many discussions concerning you were held and you were nicknamed at the girl who is not a beggar. It was hilarious when the Dregs said it in a hurry.
Inej who had followed you and found information about you, told Kaz and Jesper about you “She is alone in Ketterdam. She doesn’t have anybody - she’s an orphan. She’s kind of a servant at the Van Eck mansion. She runs errands, carries parcels and does anything they tell her to.”
Inej’s anger was evident as she spoke fiercely, her hands clenched “They work her to the bone - sending her on long and tiresome errands without any proper clothing. And they punish her, hit her and deprive her of food and starve her and she doesn’t even have a proper place to sleep.”
Jesper looked like he was one second away from marching to the Van Eck mansion and getting you out of there but Inej wasn’t done as she continued “But she’s really strong. She’s friends with a crow that comes to her window and a rat in her room that she tamed.”
Jesper started laughing in amusement and wonder as his eyes gleamed in fondness “Oh! She’s odd that one but I believe I am beginning to like her!”
Kaz hid the little smile that threatened to burst at the thought of you taming and being friends with animals as he listened to Inej “And as for people who are nice to her... the Van Eck boy and her are friends. He’s the only one who is nice to her in that house.”
“What? You mean, Van Eck’s son is friends with the girl who isn’t a beggar?” asked Jesper in interest and intrigue as he snorted in amusement while Kaz sat up in interest “What? Does his daddy know?”
“No. The visits are secret and very rare. The Van Eck boy comes to her room at night whenever it’s safe, with food and books. And she reads to him and tells him stories and they talk and pretend that the attic she lives in is somewhere nicer. But she’s not a beggar.”
Kaz listened to this in rapt attention as he thought of you braving your unbearable life with a vivid imagination and determination. Perhaps that’s when Kaz had begun to like her unbeknownst to him.
The next time Kaz saw you was when he was on his way to the Slat after a negotiation and he spotted your dark mane of hair tied with a narrow ribbon as you slipped through the crowd and something in him ignited fiercely as he followed you quietly in interest. This day was a wretched one. His leg ached bitterly but he followed you nevertheless as he observed you were dressed in a dark blue dress that had grown shabbier and worn out, your shoes were downtrodden and wet with water that filled it, the coat around your shoulders was Jesper’s, your face pinched and starved and cold with blue and your heavy thick mane of dark hair was tied in a narrow ribbon.
That day was wretchedly freezing and dreary, the street wet and sloppy and Kaz observed how the wind tried to drag the coat Jesper had given you as you waded through the mud, the water filling your broken shoes. Although Kaz knew of your position in the Van Eck household, he truly did not know the extent to which the ill tempered and depressed staff treated you as a slave driving you on errands on the worst days. Kaz didn’t know that today of all days, you were trying to keep away the thoughts of your ravenous hunger by thinking of more pleasant and lovelier thoughts of being in dry and beautiful clothes, eating the most delicious food in the company of those whom you loved the best. He did not know for you, your imagination and making up stories and pretending was your way of coping and being strong in the hell of this city.
Kaz observed you stop at a bakery as you stared hungrily at the pastries, buns and cakes on display when your attention seemed to shift to a little beggar boy with untamable wild curly hair, a pale face with big hungry eyes and dirty clothes as he wrapped himself with rags to keep warm from the freezing cold. The boy was younger than Kaz himself and Kaz observed you talk softly and kindly to the boy for a few moments, your lips nearly blue from the cold. Kaz waited in the shadows as he saw you finish the conversation with the little hungry boy and look at him with an odd look in your eyes.
Kaz watched keenly as you entered the bakery where you were greeted by a friendly and kind boy with unruly brown hair and watched you point for three waffles. The nice and warm ones that had just been made. Kaz quietly watched the baker boy throw in five waffles in the bag for you and you seemed to point his mistake to Kaz’ surprise. Kaz wondered why you wouldn’t just take it and leave when you were so hungry. But the baker boy just smiled kindly and gave the bag to you as you stumbled out of the bakery and look at the little boy who seemed to be crying in suffering and starvation.
Kaz urged you to leave. You had what you wanted, there was no time for you to think about others.
But to his great shock, you knelt down before the boy as you gently smiled at him and handed him one waffle. The boy looked at you in amazement as if you had performed a miracle and began to eat it up wildly as if he was afraid that the waffle would vanish any time if he didn’t devour it up soon. Kaz was frozen in shock as he watched you place the rest of the waffles in the little beggar boy’s hands as you said something kind to the boy and ruffled his hair. The savage beggar boy was too hungry to give thanks as you left him to eat knowing that he was starving and the beggar boy looked up to see the vanishing figure of you at the end of the street.
Kaz didn’t know why but he knew that you could have eaten up all five waffles without hesitation. He had seen it in your eyes. And yet, you had sacrificed it for this poor child you barely knew. As he reflected on his thoughts, curiosity got the better of him as he strode toward the boy.
“Who gave you those waffles?”
The boy nodded toward your vanishing figure and Kaz queried curiously “What did she say to you?”
The boy looked at Kaz distrustfully but answered “Asked me if I was ‘ungry.”
“What did you say?”
“Said I had nothin to eat.”
“And then she bought the waffles and gave it to you?”
The boy nodded and although Kaz knew the answer, he had to hear it from the boy’s mouth “How many?”
“Five.”
Something in Kaz’ seemed to ignite at the answer. He had seen it was five but he couldn’t quite believe that the girl would be so stupid, self - sacrificing and kind to give the food she could have sustained herself with to a complete stranger who she didn’t know. It was absolutely an act of stupidity to Kaz and yet it moved and touched Kaz in a way it had not before. Ketterdam was a city known for cruelty and exploitation with darkness of the hearts spreading through it like a disease but this girl had proven that her heart was a ray of sunshine, the kindness and goodness in her soul was still not snatched by this city even though she faced the worst trials of adversity.
Kaz felt himself transported to his childhood where Jordie and him were completely poor and hungry. How different would their lives have been if there had been someone like her, someone who had been willing to share and listen to their woes and someone who had been completely good and kind to them without expectations and conditions.
Kaz thought of your hungry eyes and cold figure. He knew you had wanted those waffles. He knew that you could have eaten all of those waffles and even more but instead you chose to give it to a little boy who was hungrier and colder than you were.
Perhaps your act of goodness stirred something in his cold heart because Kaz inquired “Are you still hungry?”
“I’m always ‘ungry. But it ain’t half that bad now.”
Kaz was inspired by your little act of goodness that was enormous in his eyes as the next few words slipped his mouth “Go to the Crow Club and tell them Kaz Brekker sent you to be looked after by Inej Ghafa. She’ll help you get yourself warm and give you something to eat.”
The little urchin got up and obeyed because he didn’t care what was happening or what happened next as long as he was given a place where warmth and food was supplied. As Kaz looked at the little urchin leaving, he realized that he had done this for your sake and he decided to follow you because now he had started to see you, he couldn’t stop.
Kaz found himself at the Van Eck household where he saw you entering it with baskets and parcels in your hands, completely exhausted.
Kaz hid among the bushes having a good vantage point to see everything going on as he saw Van Eck accompanied by his son, both of them dressed in warm clothing as they sat at a table full of warm food with books scattered on it as Van Eck who was in a foul temper scolded the quiet son.
When you entered the garden, you ran into Van Eck who was already in a savage temper as he snapped “Where were you? You have been wasting time, lingering out and about for hours.”
Kaz noticed how tired you looked but you still managed to reply faintly and politely “It was wet and muddy. It was hard to walk because my shoes were so bad and slippery.”
“Do not lie. You shall go without dinner tonight.” stated Van Eck savagely while his son turned quite pale.
“I have had nothing to eat since this week.” Kaz heard you reply in a faint and low voice and felt himself tremble in savage anger.
“Then all the better! You shall have no breakfast, lunch or dinner tomorrow either! That will teach you how to behave like a proper servant!”
Kaz was certain you were trembling in hunger and cold as you grew pale and on the verge of breaking down when the son spoke up softly yet boldly “Father, please! She’s just a girl. You cannot starve -”
Van Eck slapped his son so hard that the boy nearly stumbled back and you gasped in horror and fear while Kaz watched in curiosity “You will speak when you are spoken to! Have you no pride? She is not a girl, she is a servant and she will be treated as so! Truly, Wylan, you disappoint me with that soft heart of yours. Go to your room and think about yourself. Have you never thought of what I think of you and try to become someone that I can be proud of?”
Wylan’s eyes were misty but it was your face that caught Van Eck’s attention. It had caught Kaz’ attention too for your face was serious and solemn, quiet and sad as you fixed your eyes on Van Eck who glared at you fiercely.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
Kaz’ eyes were on you as you stood steadfast and fearless in front of Van Eck as you answered quietly “I was thinking.”
By the expression on Van Eck’s face, Kaz realized that he had dealt with situations like this with you before as he demanded “Thinking of what? Beg my pardon for thinking.”
“I shall not beg your pardon for thinking.” you replied honestly as Kaz’ looked at you, your expression serious and sad as you replied quietly “I was thinking of what my father would think and do if he knew where I was today.”
Kaz’ saw Van Eck go red and then a dangerous purple as he flew at you and shook you violently, slapping your cheek and boxing your ears as you gasped in pain from the endless blows you received as Van Eck ignored Wylan’s protests as he snapped “You insolent child! How dare you be so impolite to your employer!”
There was a fire of fury that ignited in Kaz as he watched you take the blows in agony and pain as you hid back your tears. When Van Eck was finished with you, your cheeks were red and smarting and there was a slight wound from the blows you received but Kaz’ felt curious and awed as he saw your eyes were bright as stars as you let out a little amused laugh that shocked Van Eck who saw that you were not frightened by him.
Kaz felt curiosity stir as he watched you in amazement as you laughed and then bobbed a mocking curtesy “Excuse me for laughing if it is impolite but I cannot help it when there is a clown in front of me.”
Kaz couldn’t help but grin at her daring sassiness as she ran away leaving Van Eck struggling with his rage and Wylan hiding a small smile as his eyes lingered on her vanishing figure.
That day, as Kaz sat in his office in the Slat, he thought of your tight and pinched face, your starved and hungry eyes that held determination and thoughtfulness in them and your quiet polite manners and daring bravery. Kaz was fascinated by you from the moment he had seen you. You reminded him of a girl in his childhood. You were vastly different from this girl but yet there was something about you that reminded him of the girl back in his village Lij.
Everyone called her the Little Empress. She was the daughter of a rich and respected man who was a businessman in Ketterdam. Her father kept her in the grand mansion and there were many stories and rumors about her and her dangerous father that Jordie used to tell Kaz to pass the time because Kaz was fascinated by the fairytale life they lived. Kaz remembers the times he did catch rare glimpses of her and believed that the name Little Empress fitted her.
Kaz had seen her traveling in a carriage with her father as she held onto his arm. Kaz had seen her hand in hand with her father, surrounded by elegant governesses and intimidating men and women as they walked through the village commanding respect. Kaz’ eyes widened in awe and wonder every time he glimpsed her, for she looked very pretty and beautiful in her velvet dresses trimmed with furs, lace and satin dresses with puffed sleeves, lovely hats, ermine coats and muffs and tiny gloves that fitted her little hands, handkerchiefs and silk stockings that Kaz heard the villagers whisper that the little girl had a wardrobe that was much too grand for a child of seven. Kaz had learned the father was a gangster from his father but fond of his little girl and wanted his child to have everything he admired and everything he admired himself. Jordie murmured that though she had everything, the little girl was not spoiled because once Jordie had bumped into her on an errand and when she had seen Jordie cold and shivering, she had offered her silk scarf and her cloak and insisted on buying him a hot meal and food for his family as well. Kaz had never spoken to the Little Empress but all he knew of her is that she lived grandly with a gangster father who spoiled her, governesses who taught her everything she needed to know and people who protected her.
Though Kaz barely remembers much of his life in his village, one of the memories he does remember is meeting the gangster, the father of the Little Empress who visited their farm to buy a horse for his daughter. Kaz’ father knew the gangster through casual acquaintance for both men had fondness and affection for horses and greeted the gangster excited about finding a horse for his daughter. They both walked around as Kaz’ father talked about the special qualities of each horse but the gangster was waiting for the right horse.
Kaz and Jordie left their village after their father’s death and a week after that, they heard that the gangster’s house was burned to ashes with everyone in it and there was no possibility of any survivors. Kaz had thought of the Little Empress burning in the fire and had felt a pit of sadness grow at the thought of the gangster and the pretty Little Empress dying in the fire. Their faces were now blurry to him but he still remembered the excitement and amazement he felt every time he caught a glimpse of her.
You were not like the Little Empress at all. You were dirty, shabby, poor and worn out. But there was something in your manner that reminded him of the Little Empress. Something bold and kind, smart and resilient that impressed Kaz who was lost in thoughts of you.
Kaz kept an eye out for you but after a while, you stopped passing by the Slat and Crow Club with parcels and baskets in your arms. Kaz waited for you to pass by the Slat and Crow Club but as days went by, your presence did not grace them and the Dregs felt worried about the girl who was not a beggar. Kaz hid all the worry as he sent Inej to look out for you but you had disappeared from Ketterdam. Kaz felt something in him sink in dark pain when Inej bought back the news that she couldn’t find you anywhere as he realized that you had not survived the cruelty and mercilessness of Ketterdam. After your disappearance, the Van Eck boy mysteriously disappeared as well. Though Kaz, Inej and Jesper searched valiantly for you, their efforts were in vain because you were nowhere to be found and no one knew of where you were.
After many months after your disappearance, Kaz Brekker who was working on a heist regarding taking down one of the prominent gangs that abducted young children heard stories and rumors of an infamous spy and an intelligent detective who could find anyone no matter how far they ran and how hard they tried to hide away from the rest of the world. This spy was a shadow, an enigma and a mystery that had no name but many people in Ketterdam owed their lives to this spy because this spy would take any job given to them and do it successfully with style. This was a unique spy different from the ones who dominated Ketterdam. This spy took on cases of murder, missing children, abusive households, exposing corruption and helped people with their skillset. The stories and rumors boasted of a spy who was dangerous, uncatchable, intelligent and always one step ahead of those who thought they had the spy in a trap.
Kaz searched for this ruthless and smart spy endlessly because it was rumored they were working on the same case as him and secondly their skillset could be valuable to him. Finally, you got into a fight with one of the Dregs leaving him seriously injured. Kaz who had seen the injuries on his Dreg decided to find you once and for all as he send Inej, Jesper and Nina to inquire and found out that you occasionally hung out at a particular pub where people knew your identity but protected you. He learned that you went by name Pandora Silvertongue in the profession.
Kaz remembered stepping into the bar that belonged to the boy with unruly hair that had been kind to you that day. The boy had now upgraded his bar to a dining and drinking pub where the patrons were drinking and eating, laughing and singing like strangled cats while the boy smiled as he poured them more drinks.
When the boy with unruly hair saw Kaz, Inej and Jesper enter, his eyes widened in recognition and fear and Kaz announced in a steely voice that was not to be challenged “Is there anyone named Pandora Silvertongue?”
Everyone was quiet in fear and fright as no one dared to breath and Jesper took one of his revolvers and shot it to the air startling the patrons who screamed in fear as Kaz announced once again with authority “I said is there anyone named Pandora Silvertongue?”
The private room of the bar opened up as a girl with a spring in her step, color in her cheeks stepped out calmly as her eyes glinted with understanding and fearlessness. Kaz’, Inej’ and Jesper’s eyes widened in shock and amazement as they recognized you, the girl who was not a beggar who they had thought disappeared from Ketterdam but here you were alive and well.
Kaz could feel his breath quicken as his eyes never left you who was dressed in a fine dark blue dress as you looked at the Crows and then at the bartender with authority that you commanded naturally “Steve, get them a drink. Everyone else go home.”
Everyone obeyed your command as they immediately stumbled out of the bar. You seated yourself at a table carelessly and elegantly without extending an invitation to the Crows to join you because you showed no signs of fearing them while Steve poured fine whisky for all of them as you had ordered.
When Steve finished pouring the drinks, you looked at the bartender with a quiet gleam in your eyes “You go home.”
“But -”
“I said go home.” you said in a calm and quiet voice but everyone understood you shouldn’t be challenged as Steve cast a good protective and concerned look at you and scuttled to the back.
You lit a cigarette airily and carelessly as you looked at Kaz Brekker as if he was nothing special who was still recovering from his shock and Jesper broke the silence with a grin “The girl who is not a beggar! It’s you! We were so worried about you! We thought you had died - or disappeared but you look so awesome!”
You smiled slightly but before you could reply, Kaz spoke sharply in a hard tone “So I suppose you are the infamous Pandora Silvertongue because you are looking up and down at me like you aren’t afraid of me.”
You merely smiled as you replied calmly and quietly taking a puff of your cigarette “I want to know what you want, Mr. Brekker.”
But before Kaz could say anything, Jesper jumped in “We’re so glad you are alright. We were worried about you, you know? I mean, we used to make up stories and theories about who you were. You probably don’t remember me -”
“Jesper Fahey from the Crow Club.” you said with a genuine smile as you nodded at him “I never forget anyone who has been kind to me. Thank you for being warm and kind on one of the many dark days I had.”
“Oh... it was nothing.”
“No, it was something. It was something extraordinary.” you replied with a genuinely warm and grateful smile as Jesper felt appreciated and happy.
“I want to know what you want, Mr. Brekker.” you replied calmly and quietly as you took a puff of your cigarette. “What are you doing here?”
“Your name is Pandora Silvertongue. In the past few months, you have earned a reputation for being a dangerous spy and an intelligent detective who no one can hide anything from. You also tutor Ketterdam students. You’ve made yourself more enemies than friends. You’re in danger.” informed Kaz calmly with a deadpanned expression as he gazed at you skeptically and perceptively.
“You’ve done your research but you are still not answering my question.” you replied in amusement as you dabbed your cigarette into the ashtray
Kaz saw you raise your eyebrows at him and intrigue spark in your eyes as he began “A few weeks ago, someone started to capture Dregs. Not just any Dregs, female Dregs were targeted, lured into isolated areas, tortured and killed. Their eyes were gouged and hearts were ripped out and after three murders, a note was left at the fourth murder.”
You listened to Kaz who handed you the information on the murders as you looked through the papers “This is all the information we have on the killer. We’ve tried to follow and keep tabs on each Dreg but there is little progress. We need to know who the killer is so we can take him down.”
“I need to examine the bodies of the victims and visit the location of each murder to determine the behavioral patterns of the victims and murderers, preferably with one of you so I can role play and get inside their minds.” you replied thoughtfully as you flipped through each page quickly while Kaz nodded “Was the murder weapon left at the scene?”
“No. Who would be stupid enough to do that?” laughed Jesper rolling his eyes at you.
“Killers who enjoy the thrill of the chase. To them, killing isn’t just a crime, it’s an emotional release and enjoyment.” you replied as you ran your hand through your hair, your face full of concentration and focus making you oddly attractive to Kaz “Was anything taken away from the victims when they were found?”
“Their weapons.” answered Kaz curtly
“Well, I’ll look into everything about these girls. From their family backgrounds, traumas, how they were recruited, special skills, who they were close to and their daily routines. I also look into their autopsy reports.” you stated firmly as you closed the file and looked at an unreadable Kaz, a hopeful Inej and amazed Jesper who listened attentively to you and you were silent for a few moments as you read the note “But I can tell you this about the killer from the note.”
Kaz leaned slightly forward in interest as he waited in anticipation “Did you ever wonder why there was a note left on the fourth murder? It’s because the first three killings didn’t get the attention he wanted it to. So, to get the glory and revel in it, the killer left the note. What he doesn’t know is... he also left clues as to how to find him.”
Kaz raised his eyebrows because he couldn’t quite believe you had found clues regarding the killer so soon but he nodded at you to continue.
“From what you told me about the killer, he is not confident enough to initiate social contact so he lures them into isolation. Look at the letters, the style of writing - not confident enough but charming enough to be trustworthy. Emotional indicators are analyzed through slants. The writer’s handwriting shows signs of emotional repression and violence. And the pressure if you look closely is excessively heavy which shows that he is uptight hiding trauma and can easily overreact with excessive violence.” you stated in one breath as you gestured to the handwriting in the letter while Kaz looked at you in hidden wonder and admiration, impressed by your intelligence.
Jesper was the first one to find his tongue “You got all that from his handwriting?”
“Handwriting is an indicator of personality and behavior. It symbolizes your emotions at the given time just like your facial expressions parallel the way you are feeling and speaking.” you replied smartly while Kaz processed this new information “But the interesting thing about this note is - it’s a line from a Kaelish poem. It says ‘Mirror mirror on the wall, tell no more lies about who you are.’”
Inej looked at Kaz and Jesper and then at you thoughtfully as she offered “So then, we are looking for someone Kaelish, well versed in literature, educated, narcistic and organized?”
You looked at Kaz confidently and smartly, with a grim glint in your eyes “I would cut off Kaelish. This person wants you to narrow it down to Kaelish people. Right now, you are looking for someone who knows the language of Kaelish, who is well - versed in literature, violent when provoked, smart and organized and charming and trustworthy and someone who needs to be in control. This was a person all these three girls knew and trusted... and maybe, it’s someone you know too. Someone who knows the procedures of the Dregs and how things work in there. This was someone who stalked each girl, observed the times she did everything, places she went to, people she talked to and organized the crime accordingly.”
“So we cannot eliminate the possibility that it might be one of the Dregs.” replied Kaz calmly as he thought of the possible suspects and the people who the three girls had in common.
“No. In fact, I believe you might have even met the killer, perhaps offering condolences for the deaths of the girls or trying to help in any way they can to find them. Keep a sharp eye and trust no one.” you replied sharply and grimly and then after a long moment of silence, your lips curved into a smile “How do you feel about the violin?”
Kaz, Jesper and Inej exchanged surprised glances because that was the last question they expected “What?”
“Well, I play the violin when I’m thinking. Will that be a problem? I also need a large space to pace about, I’m a coffee addict and I don’t talk for days on end and sometimes I talk to myself because I’m the only one in the room who makes sense. Will that bother you? Potential colleagues should know the worst about each other.” you stated easily and calmly with a charming and sweet smile as you finished the last of your whisky.
Jesper and Inej exchanged amused glances at how Kaz looked surprised at you taking charge and twisting the conversation to surprise him as he replied “Colleagues? Who said anything about becoming a Dreg?”
“I did. Told Nina Zenik day before yesterday over waffles that I must be a difficult and dangerous woman to work with because Pekka Rollins’ has his eye on me because I just took down one of the slavers. Now here her employer is... Kaz Brekker, the Lieutenant of the Dregs, the owner of the Crow Club, clearly wanting to get to me before Rollins does by testing me to see if I am worthy of his time and investment and lives up to Zenik’s word.” you said casually and nonchalantly as if the answer had been simple enough for anyone to understand and Kaz wondered if you had set this up on purpose as he watched you stand up and put your coat on “It isn’t really a difficult conclusion.”
Jesper grinned “I really like her.”
Inej grinned wider as she nodded “Yeah, I really like her too.”
“I’ll be in contact. I need to establish my investigation so I’ll be moving in as a bar girl and Brekker’s secretary tomorrow. That way, I can discreetly find out about what happened to the girls and who they associated with and perhaps even lure out the killer.” you replied briskly in a composed and matter - of - fact voice that Kaz did not like because he was the boss as you moved across the room swiftly “I don’t need a room, I have my own place so I won’t be around for that. I’ll meet you in the evening around at five to go check the victims and locations. Sorry, got to dash... have important things to do.”
Kaz was surprised at the nonchalance and fearlessness you held toward him and the way you treated him as your equal as he called out “Is that it?”
“Is that what?” you inquired politely as you stopped mid - step to look at Kaz in curiosity.
“Well, we just met and now you are part of the Dregs without my permission?” replied Kaz smartly in a deadly and dangerous voice as he looked at you coldly while Inej and Jesper exchanged amused looks because Kaz seemed to have met his match.
You didn’t seem fazed at all, in fact you seemed surprised and amused “Problem?”
“We don’t know a thing about each other. I don’t know where we are meeting this evening and I suspect Pandora Silvertongue isn’t your real name.” replied Kaz smoothly and smartly as he raised his eyebrows at her with a smirk because he had to admit she had the nerve and daring combined with her intelligence and curiosity which felt oddly attractive to Kaz.
“I know you are the Lieutenant of the Dregs, Kaz Brekker. I know you sent the Wraith to follow me yesterday. I know that Per Haskell is a puppet and you are the puppet master who one day hopes to be the leader of the Dregs but is waiting for the opportune moment. I know that you are an orphaned farm boy who was raised outside of Ketterdam in a village judging by the hint of the rural accent that is audible under your Kerch. I know you came to Ketterdam with someone you loved dearly - the last of your family members - perhaps an older sibling. Since you are standing here alone, I know that your older sibling must have died in the firepox plague that overwhelmed Ketterdam but somehow you managed to survive and climb up the ladder in the streets, developing an aversion to touch, trust issues, avoidance of friendships, hyper vigilance, protectiveness toward Jesper who possibly reminds of your sibling by the way you look at him and reprimand him and hunger for revenge. You think the world is out to get you and you are distrustful of every single person you come into contact with because you were let down by someone you cared about. You like to think you are detached from weakness but you do care... and the reason I know that is you permanently marked yourself with that tattoo on your wrist... R... it stands for something personal... perhaps a name of someone you care about with love or hate... a reminder to you. I know that you like to pretend you are different from the rest of the criminals in the Barrel by dressing up in black like a mercher and distinguishing yourself away from them but the gloves - they hide something - perhaps your touch aversion? I know your limp is psychosomatic. And just one mention of Pekka Rollins, your face is filled with hatred but you are not competing with him for power - no, your eyes are filled with revenge. It’s personal and you intend to be the last man standing.”
Kaz’ eyes widened as you began your explanation and analysis of him and he felt completely exposed and slightly frightened when you deducted and observed his weaknesses and shames that the world did not see because he hid it so well from them. Kaz couldn’t breath as he listened to you cleverly and calmly rattle out facts about him that no one else knew but seemed completely transparent and obvious to you and when you finished, Kaz’ knees were slightly wobbly and his grip on his cane was tight as he looked at you with something akin to fear and reverence in his heart.
Inej and Jesper exchanged slightly anxious looks as they looked at Kaz who had gone completely pale and you grinned and winked at the three of them “That’s enough to be going on, don’t you think? The name’s Pandora Silvertongue until you’ve earned my real name and meet me in front of the Church of Ghezen!”
Kaz had been shaken to the core and had wondered how you knew about these personal things. The next time he had met you to help you with your investigate, he had been completely cold and threatening as he demanded how you found out his secrets but you simply explained your observations that had led you to conclude your deductions about him. Those observations were sharp and clever, things that the rest of the world were stupid enough to ignore and it had shocked Kaz you were clever and sharp enough to pick up on those little things.
Though Kaz hadn’t liked how you had first approached him, he understood your value as a person and a member of the Dregs immediately. He knew that he could not let you go because there were a dozen more powerful and cruel men who were willing to get their hands on you and use you unkindly to their advantage. Kaz had enough information on the city to know that Pekka Rollins had a keen eye on your talents and wanted you all to himself. And Kaz was not going to let a dangerous and talented girl like you be Pekka’s property.
“That’s enough to be going on, don’t you think? The name’s Pandora Silvertongue until you've earned my real name and meet me in front of the Church of Ghezen!”
You worked undercover as a bargirl and Kaz’ secretary for two weeks in the Crow Club and the Slat. Kaz noticed that you wasted no time in charming everyone and making friends with people who warmed up to you and opened their hearts, confiding their deepest and darkest secrets to you. You were an efficient and effective hard worker who never gave anyone reason to doubt that you were a spy as you observed and worked on the case. There were times you would drive Kaz crazy with your endless playing of the violin at midnight when you needed to think, your coffee addiction that was worse than his and you muttering under your breath, spouting completely random but interesting facts that surprised everyone out of nowhere and sometimes completely zoning out lost in thought ignoring his presence. Kaz found it truly annoying and exasperating but Inej, Nina and Jesper who were slightly patient with you found it amusing that Kaz had found someone worse than him.
Through his time with you, Kaz couldn’t believe you were real. Whenever you presented developments in the investigation, there were somethings such an elegant intelligence and raw thought that he had never seen in anyone else. He always would be surprised by your findings because you would up with observations that no one else would think of and was surprisingly accurate. Kaz never showed it but he was in awe of your intelligence and wondered where you had trained your mind to be like this and learned all these things.
You had found the killer soon enough and suspected that Anika would be the next target. What you hadn’t expected the killer to do was twist his plan and take Inej hostage. Kaz and Jesper had set out to find the killer with the Dregs with your help and you were ordered to stay out of the line of fighting. But the killer had been too smart for Kaz and Jesper planning own traps for them forcing them to watch when he tried to torture Inej under the impression that Inej was Pandora Silvertongue.
Jesper was full on panicking “PLEASE! LET HER GO! SHE’S NOT PANDORA SILVERTONGUE!”
The killer laughed as he looked at Jesper who was trying to break free “I don’t believe you.”
“You should you know. Pandora Silvertongue is nothing like her.” came a cocky and confident voice out of the dark shadows alarming everyone and getting the attention of the killer.
Inej let out a gasp, Jesper looked around in amazement and shock at your voice that had echoed out of the darkness and Kaz swore his heart jumped out of his chest in alarm and relief with overwhelming emotion that he could not describe.
“How would you describe her, Mr. Brekker? Beautiful? Intelligent? Resourceful?” your voice asked from the distinct darkness as Kaz had tried to look around trying to search where you possibly might be hiding.
Kaz had muttered “Disobedient.”
The killer who was one of the new Dregs grinned maniacally “Then you know what I want, don’t you, Silvertongue?”
You had answered as you had taken down one man through the darkness “I believe I do.”
The killer was maniacal at this point as he called out for you as he flashed his knife with a grin when you had appeared out of nowhere and hit the killer with a large brick on his head making the killer fall onto the floor in an unconscious heap as you had rolled your eyes at the killer “Moron.”
You had saved Inej, Jesper and Kaz in time much to their relief. Kaz had seen enough proof that you were worthy of being in the Dregs and offered you a position of the spy in part of the Dregs. You had accepted and from then on, the Crow Club and the Slat had become your home. You had become a loyal ally, a talented spy who was excellent at your job and a close friend to Kaz. Soon Kaz trusted you with the most important missions that you completed brilliantly, valued you as an important part of the Crows and began to see you as a close friend who he liked.
Kaz prided himself on being someone who had a control over his emotions. After all, he was the most feared man in Ketterdam and his stoic and cold nature required a certain level of control. But when Kaz was with you, he felt something warm flood within him whenever you smiled at him reassuringly and teasingly, he found himself becoming a boy who craved to feel the flutter of his heart whenever you laughed at his dark and dry sense of humor, the reassurance he felt when you stayed up late with him planning heists and cleaning messes after parties. He found his eyes searching for you in the crowded Crow Club and lingering on you for a moment too long as he gazed at your charming and charismatic demeanor that enchanted him. He found your company enjoyable as both of you walked the streets of Ketterdam from the harbor to the marketplace to the Slat and you chatted enthusiastically about anything on your mind as he found himself listening in fondness as he memorized the expressions of your face. He looked forward to the nights where both of you would sit on the roof together gazing at the view of Ketterdam and looking up at the stars as you both shared bottles of whisky and laughed and confided your insecurities, wildest dreams, deepest secrets and untold thoughts to each other as he felt a connection of understanding and trust he had never felt with anyone else.
Kaz remembered when one day Jesper had dragged him to one of his games where they had to disguise themselves and fool as many Dregs as possible. Kaz and you had been friendly competitive rivals as Kaz promised to beat you in the game. But he had been destroyed when he had only managed to fool two Dregs and you had managed to fool around ten Dregs with your disguise and cover story.
Kaz walked toward you who was drinking as he scowled “I blew it. I only got through two Dregs.”
“Woah! I got to ten.” you had replied with a playful and sympathetic grin as you looked at him.
“I can’t believe I lost this stupid game! I was so excited for this. What happened?” exclaimed Kaz as he sat next to you wearing a scowl as he looked completely frustrated.
“Well, maybe you being excited is what happened. Like every time we’re planning heists, you’re always super intelligent, you take your time, you stay calm and examine every possibility. But every time we do dumb games like this, you get excited and act like a crazy idiot. My advice... don’t act like a crazy idiot.” you replied with an insightful and thoughtful smile as you looked at Kaz with a soft glimmer in your eyes.
Kaz was surprised at your answer that made him think because it made sense at how perceptive and true it was “Thanks. That was surprisingly wise.”
“Yeah well, motherhood really opens a woman’s eyes. I finally feel as if I’m finally part of something bigger than myself.” you had dramatically said as you touched your fake pregnant belly that was part of your disguise in the game while Kaz rolled his eyes at you and slapped the fake belly in exasperation.
You placed a protective hand on your fake belly as you gasped dramatically “Hey don’t you dare touch Kazper Jr! That’s right! It’s your baby!”
Kaz had to stop himself from laughing outright as he played along “Are you saying I knocked you up?”
“You sure did!”
Kaz liked it when you were with him. With the rest of the world, he knew you were a gold rush. Everybody wanted to have a taste of you and wanted to know what it would be like to love you. Kaz couldn’t keep his eyes off you because you were an inviting temptation as you flirted and talked with the people with such charismatic and charming sweetness that he felt a flicker of twisted jealousy that crushed him. But when you were with Kaz, though you still teased him with that charming twinkle in your eyes, you displayed a soft sense of vulnerability you never showed to the rest of the world. There was a softness and sweet sincerity in you that you gave Kaz that you never showed the rest of the world and before he could stop himself, Kaz had opened himself and showed his deepest and darkest parts baring himself vulnerable and you had accepted and loved him unconditionally.
Kaz knew he felt something special for you, something that he never felt for anyone else and something that he couldn’t afford to feel for you in this world. In this world, sentiment was the greatest weakness and it would be used against him by the countless number of enemies who he had made on his way to greatness. So he tried to keep a distance from you as much as he could but there were times he was just drawn to you and he couldn’t stop himself from indulging in your company and worrying about you.
Before the Ice Court, Kaz had promised Nina that he’d keep an eye on Matthias. So as he searched for Dregs who could infiltrate Hellgate, befriend Matthias and protect him, you had volunteered eagerly. But Kaz had turned down your suggestion feeling something akin to terror of losing you to the darkness and cruelty of Hellgate but when he realized that there was no one else he could truly trust and that you were not backing down from this assignment, he had reluctantly sent you into Hellgate to spy on Matthias. Your absence had been absolutely maddening as the Slat felt cold and empty without you and he worried about your wellbeing in Hellgate. When the chance to break into the Ice Court had arrived, he had seized the opportunity to break you out along with Matthias.
Kaz remembered when he had reunited with you after your year in Hellgate. You looked completely different, grown up as if you had lived through darkness and survived to tell the tale. But the kind twinkle in your pained eyes was still there as Kaz finally caught up with you and found himself smiling genuinely in relief as he had said “Can I get a free woman a drink?”
The grin you had given him reassured his heavy heart that despite the pain you had endured, you were still completely in sync with him as you said the words he had wanted to say “I missed you, Kaz Brekker.”
You had been by his side through the Ice Court Heist and watched him take down Pekka Rollins as he enjoyed his vengeance on the man who had destroyed his life.
Kaz remembered the aftermath of celebrations when they had overthrown Pekka Rollins and taken Ketterdam to themselves. He had stood with bruises that didn’t seem to hurt but felt victorious and triumphant as he heard Nina, Inej, Wylan, Matthias and you celebrate with Jesper who announced loudly to the Dregs.
“Alright everyone! Pekka Rollins is history, we are absolute legends and we can finally walk freely around Ketterdam!” exclaimed Jesper in an absolutely celebratory mood, feeling blissful as he looked at the Crows who were grinning madly “Who wants waffles?”
You had grinned at Jesper’s infectious mood but had approached Kaz who was staring out of the window at the view of Ketterdam as you looked at Kaz “Hey, you alright? You did it. You finally got your vengeance on Pekka Rollins.
Kaz’ lips twitched into a small smile as relief and victory blossomed in his chest at his accomplishment and looked at you curiously because he knew if you didn’t have such faith and optimism, he couldn’t have done it “How do you do it Y/N? Keep hoping. Hope is dangerous and it clouds your judgement. And yet after everything you’ve gone through, after everything that happened, everything I did... how did you still manage to hope that it could all work out?”
You smiled gently as your eyes gleamed knowingly and sincerely as you looked at him softly “Because of you. You don’t realize it, Kaz... but you’re actually the most hopeful person I’ve ever met.”
Kaz’ eyes widened as his breath hitched at her unexpected words that he was completely taken aback by as he stared at you in disbelief and surprise seeing only the truth and kindness etched on your face as you said honestly “From the day you crawled out of that harbor having lost everything you ever loved, everyone assumed your place in the world was in the bottom as the weak and lonely, a boy who was defined by loss. But you wished for more. You dared to dream and hope as you worked to climb your way up and gain the power. You dared to hope to succeed in the craziest heists and became someone who everyone feared. You dared to hope to bring down the man who was responsible for your brother’s death.”
Kaz felt breathless at how you saw him and you smiled at him brightly “Now it’s all over. You have your whole life ahead of you.”
Kaz’ lips curled into a soft smile as he looked at you hopefully “I guess in the end, there really is no end. Just new beginnings.”
You had tended to his injuries patiently with tenderness and kindness he did not deserve. You had saved his life countless times from taking your first gunshot that was meant for him and committing your first murder as you killed a man in cold blood to protect him.
You had stood by his side through every questionable decision and defended him when you disagreed with him. You had been loyal to him even when he had pushed you away and lashed out at you in a cruel manner. You weren’t afraid to pushing and telling him when he was wrong and cruel with the stubborn and fiery look in your eyes. You had seen his lawless demons and dangerous ghosts that haunted him but had understood him and helped him work through it. You had seen him as the darkest demon who was dangerous and cruel and yet loved the monster within him. You knew about how he struggled with touch from the very beginning but never questioned or mocked it but simply allowed Kaz to take it slow as he started it with simple fleeting brushing of shoulders to soft fingers interlocking with each other and holding hands to the feeling of being close to you without drowning in the waters.
You were unlike any other woman he had ever met.
Kaz sighed as he buried his head in his hands as he remembered when it all went wrong. He had an important mission that required him to retrieve information and steal a valuable documents from the vault hidden in a highly guarded mansion of one of the merchers in Ketterdam. The mercher had a reputation for throwing lavish parties to make connections and relationships so Kaz had decided to ask you to be his pretend wife so they could disguise themselves as guests and get into the vault.
Kaz’s eyes had flickered toward you when you had entered into his office. He had pretended to be busy but the truth was you had a way of making him painfully aware of every breath you took and every smile you flashed as you brought a warm light into his cold life and he informed you of what he needed. You had grown completely silent and your smile had vanished slightly concerning Kaz who raised his eyebrows at you waiting for your answer.
“No.” you had replied curtly and crisply as you had looked away from Kaz. “Ask Inej or Nina. Or -”
“Y/N... I want you.” Kaz had replied softly as he had slipped out of his seat and stood in front of you “You and I work well together. We make a good team together. And you are the only one I trust for this.”
His gloved fingers had brushed against yours as he looked deeply at you waiting for your answer and you had surprised him as you smiled at him warmly as red dust scattered on your cheeks and you replied “Ask me properly and I might say yes.”
Kaz had smiled genuinely as he watched you walk away. Later, you were working late into the night with him as both of you were looking through information on a mercher that Kaz wanted to rob. Both of you dug into boxes of information that you had found of books, letters, documents, and photographs of the mercher’s life. As Kaz and you sat side by side enjoying the comforting silence of the moment, and Kaz found a photograph of two lovers laughing on the porch of their old house. It felt hard to explain but in that photograph, he saw himself and you living that life.
You had looked over at him with a small smile as your eyes flickered at the photograph “They look very happy. They must have loved each other very much.”
Kaz looked at you and he felt time stand still as he couldn’t find the right words to describe how he felt in that moment with you as he felt breathless staring into your enchanting and warm eyes and finally broke the silence as he asked “Y/N, do you want to dance with me?”
You had blushed but your smile was answer enough as you had accepted his gloved hand. Kaz’ lips twitched into a smile as he felt your hand rest upon his gently and your other arm holding onto his shoulder gently as he ran his hand softly along your waist and placed it on the small of your back. His breath hitched as he looked at your tender and sweet eyes that twinkled brilliantly as both of you began to dance around the room to the slow and romantic music echoing from downstairs as the rain splattered outside.
At first, Kaz hated that he was nervous and clumsy tripping over himself and stepping on your toes. He was the Bastard of the Barrel who had humiliated and overthrown Pekka Rollins and now ruled Ketterdam inspiring fear with intimidation and violence and yet he couldn’t properly dance with the girl he possibly liked.
You had grinned brightly much to Kaz’ mortification at his mistakes as he stepped on your toes once again and you offered “Hey, do you want me to teach you how to do this so you don’t hurt me or possibly yourself?”
Kaz had flushed a bright red in mortification as he had nodded “Yes.”
“Hold your back straight. Now you will lead and I will follow. And now one, two, three...” you began softly with a tender and encouraging smile as you let Kaz guide you across the floor and much to his surprise as Kaz followed the gentle hum of your words, Kaz found himself dancing without causing you any grievous injuries.
Kaz felt his breath hitch and his heart race as he danced with you smoothly and his eyes flickered down to ensure his feet were not going to hurt you when you instructed him gently “Look into my eyes. Dancing is seeing one another for who they really are, understanding and trusting each other. That’s why I love it.”
Kaz had looked into your eyes and had seen you who had always been there for him through thick and thin and had changed him in the most unimaginable ways as he murmured softly “I see you.”
You had sucked in a breath as your eyes had grown wide but you had smiled softly and joyfully “You dance incredibly.”
“All because I have a talented teacher.” replied Kaz smoothly with a soft smile as he spun you around as you chuckled.
Kaz had never felt so light-hearted and happy as he spun you around and held you in his arms as both of danced perfectly together in harmony. Kaz knew it felt foolish to give in so easily to how he was feeling but in this moment, he didn’t care as light and humor danced in his eyes feeling weightless, all the burdens and worries he carried washed away as he held you in his arms as you glowed in happiness and laughter.
Kaz felt free and weightless laughing in delight as you spun him around as you laughed in amusement, breaking rules of dancing but he didn’t care because he knew this moment with you was right and wanted this forever. He couldn’t let go of this perfect moment where the stars had aligned and everything felt just good to be true as Kaz spun you around and dipped you down, his hand supporting your back, stopping you from falling. You held onto his shoulder trusting him to hold you and never let you fall and break. Kaz pulled you up once as you held onto his gloved hand and his nose brushed against your forehead swaying to the soft and romantic song echoing through the Slat as both of you stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity.
“Y/N...” murmured Kaz as his eyes fluttered open, memorizing every inch of your face and committing you to memory afraid you would vanish if he let you go “Will you marry me and make me the happiest man on earth?”
Your heart rate escalated through the roof and your eyes had widened in surprise as you stared at him in speechless amazement as he took out a ring that had a crow with a R engraved on it as he held your hand tightly in his “Marry me, Y/N and be my partner in crime for life.”
Kaz saw you chuckle and smile at him as you nodded “Yes. I’ll be your partner in crime for life, Kaz Brekker.”
“Kaz Rietvald.” confessed Kaz softly, his voice barely a whisper as he looked at you vulnerably “Kaz Rietvald is my real name. The name of the boy who came to Ketterdam with hopes of making it with his brother. The name of the boy who died in the harbor that day.”
You had looked at him with understanding and sincerity as he swallowed a lump of emotion and confessed “But when I’m with you... I feel like Kaz Rietvald once again. The boy who believed in magic and beauty of the world.”
“Kaz...” you had murmured as you looked at the ring that held great meaning for you now and then at Kaz with so much you wanted to say to him but he shook his head as he placed a soft and fleeting kiss on your hand.
“Y/N...” he whispered as he slipped the ring onto your hand with his own trembling hands and then placed a sweet and tender kiss on your forehead “You are the reason.”
The reason that he was alive. The reason that he still felt alive. The reason that he looked forward to waking up every day. The reason that he paid attention to all the magical little things you did. The reason he felt worry whenever you were hurt and wounded. The reason that he dared to dream once again.
From there on, Kaz had felt connected to you in a way that he hadn’t before. He had wanted to practice perfecting the image of pretending to be an engaged couple so he encouraged both of you to do little things that couples do. But it was easy to forget that Kaz was pretending when he hid sincere love notes inside your room, replaced the wilting flowers in your room with your favorite flowers and left little gifts for you. It was easy for Kaz to forget that you were not his to lose when he found little notes filled with jokes and small affirmations inside his files, his favorite books annotated with your thoughts and sentences highlighted that reminded you of him, flowers pressed to the pages.
It was easy to get lost in the act of being your husband when he exchanged knowing and lingering glances with you in secret, whenever he would feel the twisted dark feeling of jealousy when he saw any man look at you in the wrong way, when you bought coffee made exactly how he liked it in the mornings and when he was working late. It was easy to forget that you weren’t his lover when both of you worked late until night, your head resting on his lap as he ran his hand through your hair smiling down at you as you read your books, when he listened to you play the violin, when he shared meals with you and cuddled with you relishing the comfortable silence and teasing each other and confiding his secrets in you.
It was easy to forget that you were not his wife when he had seen you laughing in amusement, your eyes gleaming brightly and his lips had met yours passionately and tenderly as time stood still and his heart beat violently out of his ribcage when you had kissed him back with equal tenderness and desire. It was easy to forget that this was all just an act when he would indulge in the pleasure of nipping your earlobe and placing a trail of kisses from your cheek to your neck and collarbone taking his time to taste you and feel your body tremble underneath his touch.
It was easy to forget it all because you were easy to fall in love with deeply and madly until it was too late for him to back out.
When the day came for the party, he had dressed up and you appeared in front of him making him speechless as his eyes widened because you were a breathtaking sight to behold. You were wearing an off the shoulder satin long emerald green dress that hugged your curves perfectly. You were wearing simple pearl earrings, your hair braided into loose waves and your cheeks pink and your lips ruby red as you smiled at Kaz.
Kaz had placed his hand on the small of your back as he guided you away and whispered into your ear “You look beautiful.”
You had blushed when you felt his lips brush against the nape of your neck as you squeezed his hand gently “You don’t look so bad yourself”
At the party, everyone was full of admiration for Kaz and you as a couple. Kaz and you socialized with the crowd of aristocrats, merchers and businessmen as you charmed them with your signature charisma that got enough information for Kaz. Though Kaz was not much of a social creature, he observed you morphing into the form that you needed to take in order to charm and lure your target into giving you what you wanted.
As the time drew near for them to rob the vault, Kaz and you were talking with a few ladies and gentlemen who were very impressed with the both of you, the affectionate and loving couple and one woman had asked Kaz how he knew you were the one for him.
Kaz had frozen at the question but his panic had disappeared as soon as it had come as he tightened his arm around your waist as he replied to his surprise with the truth of his heart “She makes me laugh. She’s smart, kind and funny and accepting of who I am. She’s truly the kind of woman who comes once in a lifetime. She’s beautiful and impossible. The way we got here was unexpected. But no matter how I think about it... we were meant to be. And the more time I spend with her, I know that I don’t want to lose her.”
Everyone cooed over the answer but you had frozen at Kaz’ answer as you looked at him in amazement and surprise but Kaz didn’t meet your eyes. The lady was insistent on knowing what you liked so much about Kaz that you knew you had to marry him. You wanted to hit that woman with the tray of champagne because she was putting you in a very awkward position at the moment.
“He is... well, one night we were just gazing at the stars and talking when I looked over at him and it struck me that he is my closest friend. He’s awesome, intelligent, strong, brave and protects those who he cares about. How could I not want to be with him?” you had replied easily and sincerely with a tender and sweet smile shocking Kaz who had not expected such an answer that sounded terrifyingly real.
Both of you had escaped the crowd and made it to the vault in time. You had distracted the guards while Kaz broke into the vault and took what he needed. Both of you were on the verge of an escape when both of you heard footsteps heading your way. Kaz had looked at you with desperation and desire as he had pushed you against the wall but before you could say anything, his lips were moving against yours passionately and fiercely, roughly and hungrily devouring you as his hands explored your body and sparks flew within him as you kissed him back with fierce passion and overwhelming emotion as you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him closer toward you.
Kaz couldn’t stop. He knew what he felt for you was a weakness. And if anything, you felt the same way about him too. And Kaz was secretly ecstatic that you felt the same way toward him. But Kaz had realized as he broke into the vault, he was a criminal. He was Kaz Brekker, the King of Ketterdam, the Bastard of the Barrel who had no weakness and who could not afford to love anyone. Kaz had realized the true harsh reality that he could never love you the way you deserve to be loved. He was not a man made for love. He was a monster created for chaos and cruelty. And you were weakening him, bringing his softer and vulnerable side that he had hidden from the world for so long. He couldn’t let it happen. As Kaz kissed you, he kissed you goodbye as he held you in his arms trying to keep you with him for a bit longer but he knew he had to end it before the world ended him.
The guards who had been patrolling cleared their throats when they had seen you and Kaz and you had narrowly escaped their scrutiny and attention as a very handsy couple. When both of you had left the party, Kaz hardened his heart ignoring your pleasant conversation and then your inquiring questions. It didn’t take you long to notice this sudden change in Kaz who had grown cold and distant from you.
“Kaz!” you had snapped as you shoved him getting his attention “What is wrong with you? What’s going on?”
“Y/N... I’m not your fucking husband, so stop nagging me!” snarled Kaz harshly, the softness in his eyes completely gone as he looked at you coldly “It’s over. We completed our mission. I got what I needed.”
Kaz started walking away because he didn’t want to see your fallen face when he heard your trembling voice speak up “Is that it?”
“Is that what? Did you think this was real? It was just a game... part of a mission.” replied Kaz coldly, his eyes flashing with harshness as he began to break the one thing he was falling in love with.
“Don’t. Don’t you dare. I don’t believe you. I know you feel the same way I do, Kaz.” you had replied with a trembling and shaky voice that you tried to keep strong as you looked at him with a pained expression “You - please don’t do this. You can’t just do this to us and then run away from all these feelings because you are scared.”
“Scared? Y/N, I don’t love you. You are an investment to me.” replied Kaz cruelly and harshly shoving down the voice screaming that he was lying as he glared at you. “You are nothing to me!”
You remembered how safe you felt with Kaz and how he had always assured you that you belonged and had a home with him as you felt everything you thought you knew burn once again into ashes as your heart shattered into pieces at the words carelessly and brutally uttered by Kaz and you sucked a breath as you looked at him in disbelief and heartbreak “You don’t love me?”
Kaz answered with cold silence that rang loudly among both of you and he could hear your heart shattering into pieces and had to hold onto looking at how your once bright and happy face now fell into an expression of shocked disbelief and pained suffering as you tried to understand how your world could quickly fall apart. Kaz couldn’t bear to look at your pained expression any longer so he decided to walk away from you, to leave you alone and save himself from the pain.
“I don’t believe you. Two hours ago, at that party, you wanted me. You were in love with me, Kaz. All these months, you made me believe we could share something special.” you called out, your voice shattered and hurt but there was a sliver of spite and anger in it that stopped him within his tracks as he closed his eyes and stiffened because he was losing you because this had to end “But we can never be that because you put yourself above everyone and within you is -”
“Is what? A cold monstrous dark dead heart?” snapped Kaz clenching his jaw as he turned around to look at you with a dark and cold look in his eyes as he thought of how everything they had built up on a shaky ground was now falling apart “I thought you knew better by now. I don’t have a heart, Y/N.”
“Who knows? Because you never show anyone who you are!” you had spat out with tears in your eyes as you looked at Kaz with hurt and pain. “You aren’t letting me in, Kaz!”
“Nothing good comes from loving people! Everyone leaves in the end. I intend to live my life knowing that I have no weakness that my enemies will not exploit against me and knowing that I have no one who loves me mourning for me when I’m gone wishing every single moment that I would come back for them!” yelled Kaz fiercely, his eyes flashing with powerless reminiscence of a destroyed childhood and suffering that had made him monstrous as he looked at you knowing that he couldn’t afford to love you, not when he was weakened with you, not when he could never give you peace.
“Well then, I love you! Isn’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?” you had screamed at him hysterically, tears rolling down your eyes as you felt nothing but piercing heartbreak and completely broken at how casually cruel and brutal he was being breaking you into pieces.
Kaz’ breath hitched as he froze at your confession, his heart skipping a beat traitorously with hope and happiness but he collected himself reminding himself that both of you could never have a shot in the dark because he was too damaged to be loved by you as his lips curled into a cruel sneer “You disgust me! It’s too bad for you that I don’t love you. That you didn’t make the cut into my heart. Why would you do that to yourself?”
“You - you shouldn’t have let me in! You shouldn’t have made me feel safe with you! You shouldn’t have made me feel like I belong with you and the Dregs are my home!” you had snapped in unbearable pain that burned every inch of you as you gasped through a broken sob and looked at Kaz who looked so pretty like the devil through the tears as you slapped him “Because now it’s far too late!”
Kaz felt the sting of the slap but your words lashed across his heart more than the pain of the slap. He clenched his jaw as he felt his heart bleed in unbearable pain as he looked at you in hurt and wistfulness. He wanted to take back all his cruel words that broke you and crumpled you but he knew he couldn’t do that.
And as Kaz looked at you, he wanted you more than anything in the world. More than all the kruge and the most beautiful paintings and precious jewels that he spent his life chasing to steal. Kaz was painfully aware of the aching desire he had to call you only his and to come home to your bright smile and tender heart every single day. Kaz wanted more than anything to hold your hand through life and death and to love you with all your scars and bruises and protect you from the rest of the world. Kaz had never felt this kind of powerful love and aching desire for anyone in his life, the kind that made him want to live each moment and love fearlessly. He wanted you so much that he was afraid that what he shared with you could bring him back to life as Kaz Rietvald or break him down.
Kaz loved you. Kaz had so much love inside him that he wanted to give you but he was terrified of how much you meant to him and what he would do to the world if you ever were hurt. As Kaz looked at the moonlight shining upon you, Kaz believed in Saints who had created the most perfect punishment fitting for him. For he was a monster, and it was only fitting for a monster never to hold and have what he loved the most in this world.
Kaz felt you sense his reluctance and desire for you as you took his hand in yours and caressed his cheek gently as he was hypnotized by your tender eyes as he stared at the one that he loved and dreamed of as you softly and earnestly confessed “Kaz...I know you are scared. I’m terrified too. But I want you. I love you with all your flaws and scars, Kaz. Don’t give up on us. So let’s stop pretending and do this for real.”
Kaz’ breath hitched as he leaned toward you, drawn in like a moth to a flame. He could feel your breath fanning against his cheek as he inhaled in your intoxicating perfume and felt your hot skin against his lips that longed to kiss you. His eyes fluttered shut and his heart was racing inhumanely as his mind forgot to remind him that you were a bad idea. You were an addiction he couldn’t yet give up on and wanted more and more until he was completely satisfied. Kaz had an inkling he would always be wanting more of you as his hand held the nape of your neck wondering how something that was so rationally wrong could feel so perfectly right.
He did not ask for this. He did not ask for you in his life. You were beautiful, intelligent, dynamic, wonderful and brighter than fireworks in the night sky. Kaz did not ask to be plagued by these feelings for you, to be driven to distraction every time you entered a room.
“Say you want me like I want you maddeningly.” your voice whispered as your breath fanned his cheek, and Kaz couldn’t breath or think as he was lost in his storm of feelings for you as his lips lingered close enough toward yours eager to taste you.
But your words jolted him from this madness as he took a deep breath and stumbled back from you, realizing that he had been giving into his weaknesses and he breathed heavily trying to compose himself. What had he been thinking? What was he doing? This wasn’t fair and - this wasn’t right. Kaz ran his hand through his hair as he convinced himself that this wasn’t love, this was a distraction, a fleeting infatuation that would pass with time. You were not going to be his destruction. Kaz felt a bitter taste in his mouth as he convinced himself that he was not the one for you. You deserved someone better, someone who was not broken and damaged who would only bring you down.
“I don’t love you. You were a pleasant distraction from my work.” replied Kaz firmly and coldly as his heart cried out at the lie but he knew it had to be done as he looked you in the eye “This isn’t a fairytale, Y/N. I am your employer and you are my Dreg. So stop being delusional and be what I need you to be and do what I need you to do.”
Then it had taken everything in Kaz to walk away leaving you alone in the dark, the masterpiece of what they had torn apart as you felt alone, tears of heartbreak and pain running down your cheeks.
It hadn’t taken long for everyone else to notice what had gone wrong between you and Kaz. Both of you had been inseparable, never one without another and now both of you were distant and apart. Kaz kept his distance coldly and cruelly from you refusing to listen and talk to you as you tried to fight for them again and again and the brightness in your eyes began to fade away slowly as you wondered where you had gone wrong as you sat in the dark choking on your sobs dying inside of pain and heartbreak.
Kaz didn’t know that you were trying to hold onto him as you stayed in your room. After a while, you stopped coming to see Kaz but your presence lingered with him as he heard you play the violin, vulnerable, soft and sad, melancholy heart tugging and heart breaking melodies that would float through the Slat down to the streets. The melodies you played were piercingly agonizing, beautifully emotional and reminded Kaz every single moment of the memories he had shared with you, the unconditional joy he had felt in your presence and now the sorrow that ached within him at your absence as tears sprung into his eyes. He wasn’t the only one affected by your emotional performances. One of the most toughest Dregs who was violent had burst into tears when he had heard you performing a heartbreaking farewell song.
One day, Kaz couldn’t bear it any longer as he quietly walked toward your room as his eyes fell on you facing the window playing an achingly sad and sweet melody that touched Kaz’ cold heart feeling that your melody was a breathtaking story that never got a happy ending.
“Is it a sad song?” asked Kaz softly as he lingered at the door, his eyes full of sadness and curiosity when you had finished playing and he noted that you didn’t look surprised at his presence.
“Nothing is sad until its over. Then everything is.” you replied quietly and contemplatively, your eyes full of grief and heartbreak as you looked at him with a sliver of hope in your heart.
Kaz had felt a lump of emotion swell up in his throat as he tried to speak but he was too lost in your eyes that mirrored how he felt and you took a step toward him “Kaz... I just wanted to say -”
“Y/N - I just came to say it’s enough.” said Kaz clearing his throat and taking hold of himself as he took on the coldness and harshness against you who looked slightly confused “Enough of your melancholy whining and playing the violin! It’s a headache and distracting all of us from doing important things.”
Kaz had watched you freeze in shock at his order, your eyes burning bright in disbelief and hurt and Kaz knew it that you loved playing on your violin. Your violin was the most precious possession in the world to you and you would never give up your violin to save yourself. You loved playing music on your violin more than anything in the world and to hear Kaz order you to stop playing the violin was an equivalent to ordering you drown yourself and kill yourself.
The despair and grief in your eyes flashed into cold anger as you gripped your violin protectively “You once looked me in the eyes and told me that you would be by my side until the end. But it’s wonderful to see that you are okay being a liar who wants everything to revolve around you. I guess my pain - the pain you caused is such an imposition to you.”
“Y/N... I’m sick of you! So please stop playing the violin! If you so much as play a note on that stupid thing, I will burn it!” exclaimed Kaz who had felt anger that derived out of guilt and self - loathing as he glared at you with lightning in his eyes.
Kaz saw you were paralyzed with shock at his cruel words that he suddenly regretted as he looked at your grief-stricken expression but he didn’t want to stay and dwell on it as he turned away but as he took a few steps away from you, he heard you say in disappointment and sadness “I thought you might be different than the rest of the monsters in this world. But I guess you are all the same.”
Kaz had frozen but before his anger could get the best of him, he had marched to his office. You had looked down at the streets of Ketterdam that were haunted by your father who had come before you, your brother who you had lost to the cruelty of this city and the one person you had always felt like you belonged in this godforsaken city had abandoned you making you feel unspeakably lonely and terrified, unbearably heartbroken and hurt. You had been the phoenix in this city rising from the ashes every single time they burned you but you were getting tired of rising and fighting like it was nothing. Kaz had dealt the final blow.
When Nina had offered to take you with her, you had not hesitated. Kaz had been surprised that you had accepted and something in him wanted to stop you from leaving to Ravka. But he stayed silent as you packed your bags and left for Ravka with Nina without saying goodbye to him as he had the deadly sinking feeling that he was losing you.
Kaz had expected that he wouldn’t miss you at all. After all, it was good that you were far away from him as possible and it would give him time to move from this disaster. But the air was thick with loss and indecision as he realized the truth of the saying that you never knew what you had until it was gone. Kaz had thought your absence would only satisfy him and give him the satisfaction that he was right all along.
But Kaz had been completely, utterly, tragically wrong.
Because after you had left, everything seemed empty and wrong to Kaz. Your absence could be felt in every single vein in Kaz’ body and your absence taunted him as he felt the little things about your presence in his life. His office that had once been full of light and warmth, a place of shelter from the cruelty of the world where he shared sacred moments of sincere smiles and easy conversations with you had now become cold and dark, empty of your vivid intelligence and easy laughter that lit it up as Kaz stared frozen at the blueprints, maps, documents, contracts that didn’t make any sense to him any longer. Your scent of sharp jasmine and comforting pages of books lingered on his pillow that he buried his head into every night trying to hold onto you as he missed you terribly. Kaz missed your incredible intelligence and imagination that saw the world through different eyes and observed things that everyone else missed. Kaz felt your absence ache terribly at the lack of beautiful, magical and lovely music that you would play on your violin during the most random and inconvenient times of the day when you needed to think. Kaz missed the little things from the little soft and knowing smile you had reserved only for him, the midnight conversations that made them smile and cry, the afternoons you would come back from your favorite café to share coffee and pastries with him, your furrowed brow when you were focused on sketching, and the playfulness and childlike innocence you exuded brightening his life.
Kaz couldn’t bear your absence that echoed in this godforsaken city of Ketterdam. Ketterdam, the city that used to be a reminder of Jordie was now driving Kaz mad by screaming your name everywhere Kaz went. Kaz couldn’t walk past and live in this city of blood that was now haunted by you as he was reminded of you in each place from your room that used to be scattered with papers, books and boards that were marked with ongoing investigations but now was empty of activity, the marketplace you frequented bargaining with the vendors driving them to despair, the bookshops in the University District you lingered in for long hours, the Crow Club where you laughed and drank with the Crows sharing intimate and secret glances with Kaz, the library where you loved to read losing track of time, the waffle house where you and Nina loved to eat waffles, the hot chocolate stand where you and Kaz would always buy and drink hot chocolate after a heist or a job or whenever they passed it by, the crowded canals where you liked to sit and sketch landscapes of Ketterdam, the harbor shore where you liked to run into the sea and jump around in the waves childishly and freely and the bar your friend Steve owned where Kaz had first met you.
Your seat at the table was empty and no one in the Dregs dared to sit on it. Everyone in the Dregs missed you too. Jesper didn’t frequent the Slat often and when he did was restless and anxious, Wylan was quiet and thoughtful as he worked on his bombs but when something went wrong, he would be frustrated and once snapped in anger at one of the innocent newly recruited Dregs because no one else except you understood him and his love for inventions. Inej prayed daily to her Saints to keep you and Nina safe, posted letters all the Crows and the Dregs wrote to you, sent you little trinkets, and tidied your room replacing the wilted flowers and arranging it. Matthias would try to raise everyone’s spirits as he reminisced of good times with you making everyone smile and laugh and encouraging the Dregs to keep going but inside he was worried for your wellbeing since you were the first friend he had from Hellgate until now.
Kaz also was subjected to high sass levels of incredibly frustrated and angry intelligent, skilled and protective teenagers and your friends in the Dregs who were first seen by you and touched by your kindness to them in the streets and were forever in your debt for giving them a home and a purpose. This was the worst punishment yet for hurting you and he wished that he had never done anything to you because the revenge from the kids and friends in the Dregs who loved you was worse than any humiliation he had been subjected to.
He had once come down in the morning to get coffee but the last of the coffee was taken by the dark haired, sassy kid called Hari who had marched into the kitchen completely covered in blood as he held an axe and glared at Kaz as he marched away with the jug of coffee, never letting Kaz get coffee at any given moment. The red head named Betty who was completely mad at Kaz had arranged to deliver the most distasteful cakes that tasted horrible to him every single day with the most hurtful and imaginative sayings on the top ranging from ‘IT’S GARBAGE DAY. CAN’T BELIEVE THEY HAVE A WHOLE DAY DEDICATED TO YOU’, ‘SORRY YOU ARE SUCH A HATEFUL BITCH’, ‘YOUR WHOLE LIFE IS A JOKE’, and a cake with a middle finger on it that said ‘YOUR LOSS’. There were three kids named Tony, Sabrina and James who helped you with your investigations and whenever Kaz ordered them to do anything, they would defy him sassily by shrugging him off and not taking him seriously. There were two twins named Rob and Hal who pranked Kaz every single day after he had broken your heart, nearly driving Kaz crazy but Kaz could never trace the prank back to them but Kaz knew it was them when they smirked in amusement whenever they saw Kaz covered with glitter and pink confetti or Kaz’ hair completely blonde and purple. The curly haired boy named Joe who you had given all your waffles to on that terribly hungry day would replace Kaz’ gloves with brightly colored, crazily patterned leather gloves, hide Kaz’ documents in places where Kaz couldn’t find them, replace Kaz’ coats with bright and colorful coats, redecorate Kaz’ cane into silly shapes and replaced Kaz’ perfume with a spray that made Kaz smell like rotten eggs for days. A medik you trusted and had taken into the Dregs named Hungyun would sharpen his blades and recite facts about surgeries and how to dispose of a body whenever Kaz passed him by so Kaz avoided him all together.
Matthias who had noticed Jesper’s restlessness, Wylan’s frustration, Inej’s worry and the Dregs’ sass had gathered them for a project to cheer you up by making an album about how much you meant to them and soon all of them enthusiastically joined in the creative venture. The only thing that calmed all the Dregs and Crows from starting a revolution was your letters to them that kept them happy that you were doing fine.
Kaz received your letters and he read them the moment he received them. You wrote so beautifully about Ravka and how it was so different to Ketterdam. Every letter was a piece of you that he clung onto as he read it over and over again, tracing your elegant yet messy handwriting full of enthusiasm and sadness as you described everything in vivid detail, put down your own thoughts and confessed how much you missed him and couldn’t forget him no matter how hard you tried. Kaz tried to write back but every time he tried to write, words failed him as emotions overwhelmed him because he didn’t know where to start and he knew if he wrote back and really confronted how he felt, he would be giving into weakness. He couldn’t afford to be weak. So he wrote the letters he wanted to write to you secretly and locked it away and read your letters over and over again never sending you a response hoping that in time you would forget him.
But the thought of losing you terrified him. Because that was kind of heartbreak time could never mend. Kaz could never feel this kind of love for anyone again and though he was adamant in holding onto strength of not giving into his weakness, he never wanted you to leave him for another because it petrified and terrified him. He could never walk the streets of Ketterdam again if you were not by his side.
Kaz knew he had to do something when he dreamed of you and started seeing visions of you in broad daylight. The first time Kaz had seen you in broad daylight was when he was supervising the Crow Club and he had seen you laughing in the Crow Club and you winked at him with that charming and knowing manner that always made him blush and his eyes widened in wonder and disbelief because he couldn’t believe you had come back so soon but then you vanished. Kaz had blinked in confusion realizing that he had hallucinated you but that was just the beginning. When Kaz had been walking down the street, he had heard you call out his name cheerfully and his heart had soared in traitorous hope as he swerved to look in the direction where he heard your voice and saw that it was you with your sweet disposition and bright eyes running toward him with wind in your hair and his knees had almost given out but then the vision of you disappeared as a girl ran past him to hug her lover behind him. Kaz tried to shut you out but you were impossible. You were in his head and you didn’t leave. He saw you sitting in his office looking at him in disappointment and anger, tears of sadness rolling down your cheeks as you begged him to love you.
Kaz couldn’t bear it any longer. Kaz didn’t care how long Nina had said she would be gone with you. Kaz needed you with him. Kaz wanted you with him because he couldn’t live without you since this was hell. Kaz pulled out a new paper and wrote a letter to you ordering you to come back home to him because he couldn’t live like this any longer. He hoped that once you got the letter, you would not hesitate to come back.
After all Ketterdam was your home. Ketterdam was where you belonged. Ketterdam was where he was. There was nothing special tying you to Ravka.
As Kaz sent the letter, he looked at the sun setting down on the horizon and muttered with all the sincerity and piercing agony in his heart as he remembered the rare masterpiece he shared with you, remembered you all too well “I miss you, Y/N. Come back to me.”
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#six of crows#shadow and bone#six of crows x reader#six of crows x y/n#six of crows x you#shadow and bone x reader#nikolai lantsov x reader#nikolai lantsov#nikolai lantsov x you#nikolai lantsov x yn#kaz brekker#kaz brekker x reader#kaz brekker x you#kaz brekker x y/n#kaz brekker x fem!reader#nina zenik#matthias helvar#inej ghafa#jesper fahey#wylan van eck#wylan van sunshine#zoya nazyalensky#genya safin#david kostyk#tolya and tamar#soc#six of crows fic#nikolai lantsov fic#kaz brekker fic#Grishaverse
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Hello! I absolutely loved going through your page, you have such wonderful writing and your color-coding of the pronouns adds such perfect emphasis! I would love to possibly colaborate some day, if not, I'm happy to just read your works!
If you wouldn't mind, I would like to request what would happen if Worshipper and Self-indulgant had the same innocent darling? It just seems like such an interesting fire and ice dynamic!
No Longer Yours
TW: Stabbing, implied murder,
Pronouns: Gender Neutral
AN: Oml, you’re so sweet <3, I’d love to collaborate with you ^^. Feel free to send a message! :) + sorry I took so long, I’ve been working on the flower folk individual posts T^T.
Yan! Ex boyfriend (Jay) x Reader x Yan! Ex’s Rival (Ezrah)
Yandere types: Worshipper, Self-Indulgent
Darling type: Innocent
💔🤍🩷💔🤍🩷💔🩷💔🤍🩷💔🤍🩷
You were so sweet and kind, always seeing the best in people. Especially those you love.
You had so much love in your heart, even for your boyfriend. Even when you thought he was cheating, you pushed it away.
He wouldn’t do that to me was a common thought. You thought he loved you as much as you loved him.
Oh how you were wrong :(
💔🤍🩷💔🤍🩷💔🩷💔🤍🩷💔🤍🩷
“Why? Was I not good enough?!” You whisper-shout.
You learned long ago that if you dare raise your voice at your boyfriend, you would be punished.
“You know what? No, you weren’t good enough. You are the most annoyingly boring person,” your boyfriend spat back.
Tears spilled down your cheeks, silently shaking you looked down.
“And now you’re crying, you know I hate when you cry,” your boyfriend reached out.
Slap
You smacked his hand away. Both of you looked at your action in disbelief.
Your boyfriend was the first to come to his senses. He was angry. Beyond angry actually.
“If you think I’m going to let you forget this, you’re sorely mistaken bitch.”
You looked at him in horror and shock. Backing away, not knowing what was to come, tears started flowing again.
He reached out and was about to grab you when your hand found the door knob and flung the door open.
Darting out, you ran as far as you could. You only had one thing on your mind.
I can’t let him get me.
You continued to run, run down the streets of your city.
You didn’t care your feet were being cut with the broken glass bottles from the bars, you didn’t care your body was screaming for air, you didn’t care that people were looking at you.
You just wanted to be safe.
💔🤍🩷💔🤍🩷💔🩷💔🤍🩷💔🤍🩷
A man looked to the night sky, not bothering to look at where he was going.
I wonder if it’ll rain tonight.
He was still wasn’t looking when he ran into a cold body, a small oomph coming from him as their body collided with his.
The person fell back.
At first he was upset. He wanted to go off on them, but then he saw who they were.
His rival’s partner.
His crush.
“Hey, are you ok?” He asked, offering his hand to them. To you.
When he saw how you flinched, his heart broke.
Were you being mistreated by that asshole?
“Hey, I’m not going to hurt you,” he said, soothingly.
You looked at him with so much fear that it confirmed his suspicions.
Still shaking, you pushed yourself to stand. The more you tried and failed, the more panicked you became.
“Do you need help up?” He asked with such loving kindness, you almost wanted to cry.
You shakily took his hand, and let him walk you to his house.
💔🤍🩷💔🤍🩷💔🩷💔🤍🩷💔🤍🩷
You were sitting in his bathroom as he was dressing your wounds. From what little you had seen of his apartment, it was nicer and cozier than your own.
You hissed in pain when he applied a disinfectant.
“It’s ok, I know it hurts, I’m sorry,” he spoke softly. He had been nothing but kind to you, cracking jokes to make you smile.
You recognized him. He was Ezrah, the man your boyfriend (well, now ex boyfriend) demonized often.
You didn’t understand why, he had been nothing but lovely to you. Much kinder than your ex.
“There, all done,” he smiled at you.
“Thank you,” you murmured.
He cleared his throat and opened his mouth. He looked like he was going to ask you something, but couldn’t find the words.
“Why were you running so fast? Was someone chasing you?” He finally decided.
You looked down and began to cry.
“Shit, I’m sorry,” he apologized.
He never wanted to make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable
He just wanted to love you.
💔🤍🩷💔🤍🩷💔🩷💔🤍🩷💔🤍🩷
You had fallen asleep long ago, passing out from exhaustion.
Ezrah had placed you into his bed, something he dreamed of for so long. He just wished it could have happened under better circumstances…
He wanted to touch you, play with your hair, caress your cheek, kiss you, make love.
He restrained himself. He couldn’t possibly do that without you telling him you wanted that.
He didn’t know what you’d been through, and he didn’t want you to relive trauma.
He didn’t want to scare you.
💔🤍🩷💔🤍🩷💔🩷💔🤍🩷💔🤍🩷
Jay, your ex boyfriend, was walking through the city.
“You couldn’t have gone far,” he mumbled.
He wasn’t worried, you’d be back soon and he was pissed. You were his. His his his. You couldn’t do anything without him. You needed him.
As soon as he felt a rain drop land in his head, he swore that when you turned up you’d be in so much trouble.
He ran home, rain soaking his clothes.
When you get back, you’re dead.
💔🤍🩷💔🤍🩷💔🩷💔🤍🩷💔🤍🩷
Three days passed. Three days of bliss.
You had been treated kindly, you felt safe. You felt loved. You felt like you.
Ezrah had waited on you hand and foot. Anything you wanted (which wasn’t much) you got.
💔🤍🩷💔🤍🩷💔🩷💔🤍🩷💔🤍🩷
Three days passed. Three days of agony.
Jay was losing patience.
He would have blown up your phone, but you left it behind.
He had destroyed your apartment, called all your family (he didn’t allow you to have friends).
None of your family members knew where you were.
💔🤍🩷💔🤍🩷💔🩷💔🤍🩷💔🤍🩷
Summer break was coming to an end. You started freaking out.
Jay had forced you to pick the same classes as him, and you were going to get your class list.
You would be separated from Ezrah.
Ezrah noticed your mood. He understood you so well, your nervous habits shown clear as day to him.
“What’s on you mind?” He asked as he poured you a cup of tea.
“I applied for the same classes as…” you trailed off.
“I see,” He replied.
As soon as he set the cup down, he walked out the room.
“I need to make a quick phone call.” He smiled at you.
💔🤍🩷💔🤍🩷💔🩷💔🤍🩷💔🤍🩷
Knock Knock
A light knock came at Jay’s door and a feeling of anger bubbled in his chest.
It had to be you.
He opened the door, expecting to see your teary face and hear pitiful apologies, but instead was met by a stab to the wrist and a gloved hand over his mouth.
He tried to scream and struggled, but the weight and weapon made it hard to move.
Jay’s eyes pricked with tears as the blade was ripped violently out of his joint.
The door was closed with a swift kick.
💔🤍🩷💔🤍🩷💔🩷💔🤍🩷💔🤍🩷
The day after you confided in Ezrah, you saw Jay, or what blurry thing was named Jay shown on the news broadcast.
You covered your mouth in horror. He must’ve died a horrible, gruesome death for the news to have to blur out so much.
Ezrah walked into the room, and seeing your distressed expression made his heart hurt.
He did the right thing, but to have you look so frightened was awful.
Ezrah pulled you into a hug, offering comfort as you cried into his shoulder, you not noticing the slight smirk in his voice.
Just as it should be.
#yandere#darling#oc stuff#maybe limerence#yandere types#yandere x reader#yandere x you#innocent darling#worshipper yandere#self indulgent yandere
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so you're the a (alastor x reader) ch 5
summary: I just wanted him to tell me we were okay. Was it over? Just like that? Would I ever get to hear from him again?
word count: 1211
warnings: none
masterlist
(a/n this is all i have for now but ill post another chapter soon)
Chapter Five: out of breath
It has been three days since I talked to Alastor. Every day I’ve tried to contact him and he won’t answer. I didn’t even do anything wrong, he was the one who decided to confess his feelings, and now he’s ignoring me? That’s fucking unfair. He makes me fall for him and he runs away. I grabbed the radio for the second time today. “Alastor, please…” I just wanted him to tell me we were okay. Was it over? Just like that? Would I ever get to hear from him again? I had never been upset at him before, but at this moment I wanted to strangle him. I waited for a few minutes to see if he would come, but he didn’t.
I knew that I needed to do something to get my mind off of Alastor and whatever he was doing. I decided to get changed into outside clothes and take a walk to the Dunkin’ Donuts near my apartment to get a drink. I grab my headphones and my coat before I make my way out of the door. It was still chilly here in Chicago and the wind was blowing my scarf away from my neck. I was trying to fix it as I crossed the intersection. I didn’t even see the car coming, but I definitely felt the impact.
The car ran a stop sign. I had barely left my house. When it hit me it was the most painful thing I’d ever experienced, but now as I’m lying on the street looking up at the sky I can’t feel any of that pain anymore. I’m sure that I’m dying, and all I can think about is that I never made a deal with Alastor. What was going to happen to me now? Am I going to end up in hell? Would I ever be able to find him? A group of pedestrians surrounded my soon-to-be lifeless body, several of them were on the phone, and I could only assume they were calling 911. I knew that I wasn’t going to survive this, breathing was too hard, I could feel the coolness of my blood beneath me, and I knew in my bones that my life was over. It was finally setting in as tears welled in my eyes, I had so much I wanted to do. I had plans to go to graduate school, move to New York and work in publishing. Now, I’m dying and I get to do none of that. All my friends here are going to lose me and I’m going to lose them. What about my parents? They live so far away, and they’re about to find out that I’m dead. My poor mother. I remember hearing the sirens, but they weren’t very close before I was gone.
It was quiet for a few moments, and dark, like I was floating in a vacuum. Then it felt like I was awaking from a deep sleep, I began to feel the ground beneath me. It wasn’t the rough pavement I was on before, but now it felt more like dirt. I slowly opened my eyes and started to look around, everything was covered in some sort of maroon haze. I looked down at my hands and they’re pointer than they used to be. My skin is now a light greyish, but I still have the same hair. I run my tongue over my teeth and they’re sharper as well. The city surrounding me didn’t look much different than most cities I had seen in my life, but I could hear screams echoing all around me. I gathered myself and gently stood up. This definitely wasn’t heaven, which could only mean that I had ended up in hell. Once I had gotten to my feet I started stumbling around trying to find my balance, and when I did I started walking. I found my way to the side of a building so I could lean on it. I was trying to keep my cool because if I didn’t I’m sure I would join the chorus of screams around me. I took a deep breath and found the street in front of the building, and I’m sure everyone around me could see the visible confusion painted all over my face. There were shops and restaurants lining the streets and the people that lived here seemed like they were happily living their lives. I looked over the roofs towards the skyline where there was a large clock in the center of the city. It was too far away for me to be able to read what it said.
Once I got a grasp on my bearings there was only one thing I could think about, how was I going to find Alastor. Looking over the buildings once again and I see a shabby looking shack with an unlight sign but I can see that and it says ‘on air’. If Alastor was going to be anywhere it would be there. I slowly but surely make my way to the tower, and before I walk my ass up to the door and knock on it I take another deep breath. I had never seen Alastor before, the only thing I knew about him physically was what his voice sounded like and it was enough for me to feel the way I do, so I’m not sure what he looks like will affect how I feel about him. Forcing my legs one after another to make my way to the door, and knock on it. I wait for a beat before knocking again, making sure whoever is in there definitely heard me. My hands were shaking and I was beginning to lose my courage, but I heard footsteps making their way towards the door. This was it, the last moments before I (hopefully) came face to face with Alastor. The footsteps were getting close. What if I just walked away? He had done it to me. I saw the door knob turn. I’m about to shit my pants, I’ve never been this anxious before. The door swung open, and I saw a tall man with large red ears atop his head accompanied by shoulder length cherry red hair. The blazer he was wearing was well tailored, but it had tears and holes in it. He carried with him a staff that looked like some sort of microphone. The demon spoke, “Hello!~ Alastor…” I know he continued to speak because I could see his mouth moving but once I heard that name my ears started ringing so loudly that was the only thing I could hear, I was hyperventilating and just couldn’t seem to catch my breath. He seemed to recognize what was happening with me and snapped his fingers in front of my face, “Dear, I don’t enjoy being interrupted or ignored. I asked what you are doing at my front door?” My first thought was how upset I was that I wasn’t the only person he uses pet names with. Whatever, that's a different conversation.
“Alastor, it’s me!” I couldn’t think of another way to make him realize who I was.
“I do not know yo-” he cut himself off a moment after he started speaking, “Sweetheart?”
#alastor#alastor the radio demon#hazbin hotel#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor x reader#alastor x you#alastor imagine#hazbin imagine#hazbin x reader#hazbin fic#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel imagine#hazbin hotel fic
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Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose as she pushed Ruby’s scroll back to her. “People arent turning into grimm.”
“Then explain this picture,” Ruby said as she took her scroll back. “I know exactly what I saw and I think that woman I was chasing has something to do with it.”
“The same person you said that got away from you?” Penny asked.
Weiss sighed and took a bite of her scone. “Ruby, we’re not saying you were seeing things but… think about what you’re saying. A thief ended up with paws like a beowolf. Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds?”
“I know how it sounds, but I know what I saw.” Ruby sighed and took a sip of her coffee. “Think about the grimm we fought today, screaming when we defeated them. Even Penny suggested that they might’ve been people too.”
Penny shrugged, “I just think we should look at all the possibilities.”
“I really wish you both would listen to yourselves.” Weiss took another sip of her own coffee and carefully placed the mug down. “If people could become grimm, dont you think criminals or bandits would exploit that? Besides, its only that: a rumor.”
Ruby grumbled a bit and looked back to the picture she took on her scroll. The rumors had to be true, why else would the thief have grimm-like claws for hands? Still, she put her scroll into sleep mode and stashed it back into her pocket. “Fine, I’ll drop it.”
“Thank you,” Weiss said with a smile. “Besides, we did agree this would be an outing to relax, not talk about missions or work. And I intend to do just that.”
Ruby nodded and took a bite of her cake as she absentmindedly listened to Weiss and Penny talk about Atlas and going back to visit Winter. And while she did agree with the idea, her mind was still too focused on everything she saw earlier. The thief that had started to turn into a grimm, the woman on the rooftops, the rumors of people turning into grimm… there had to be something to it all. Though, she was never going to find out if she sat here all day.
“What do you think, Ruby?” Weiss asked.
Ruby looked up at Weiss. “Think about what?”
“You werent paying attention, were you?”
“I am sure she has a lot on her mind,” Penny suggested. “Right Ruby?”
“I was listening!” Ruby quickly answered. “I just didnt hear you is all.”
Weiss sighed and shook her head. “I wanted to know what you thought about coming back to Atlas with me to attend a gala that Whitley is putting on.”
“And your father? WIll he be there?”
“Yes, and Winter.”
“Then I’m not going-”
“You need to go,” Penny interrupted. “Weiss is our girlfriend and we should support her.”
“I know, but, I cant.” Ruby stood up and pushed her chair in. “You both can go, but I need to stick around here.”
“Ruby-”
“Let her go,” Weiss said. “She’s still upset about what father did to her.”
Ruby walked out of the cafe and started down the street, eyes on the rooftops. As much as she’d like to support Weiss, she had other things to worry about. First, there were the rumors of people turning into grimm, then the woman she saw running along the rooftops. And to top it all off, the thief who had grimm paws. None of it made sense and she needed answers.
She sighed and stopped as she came across the dust shop she liked to frequent, From Dust till Dawn. The same shop that managed to get her into Beacon early. Without it being robbed, she never would’ve met Weiss or Penny. And yet, ever since graduating, she never felt so far away from them. Maybe it was the difference in why they became huntresses or the pressures that came with defending humanity.
“What do we have here? A huntress all alone without her team to back her up. Never thought I’d see the day.”
Ruby turned around to see the woman she had chased earlier standing on a rooftop across the street. “What do you want?”
“To give you a choice,” the woman said with a smirk. “Or to see if you have what it takes to really be a huntress.”
“What do you mean-” Ruby’s words stopped as she watched the woman’s eyes burn with flames as she casually threw a fireball at a nearby building, engulfing it in flames. She pulled her scythe off her back, the end of the rifle pointed towards the woman.
The woman let the flames in her eyes die down as her smile faded. “So, what’s it going to be? Chase me, or let a building burn and the White Fang take advantage of the situation?”
All Ruby could do was watch the woman’s red dress as she started to walk off, frozen in place as she no longer knew what to do. Stop that woman from hurting others, or help put out the fire before it spread too far. And yet, she couldnt move as if she was stuck to the pavement, arms shaking as she lowered her rifle.
Finally, she heard the sounds of sirens from down the road. Her feet allowed for her to move as she picked herself up with her semblance and made her way to the rooftop… only to see smoke where the woman had been and a single glass chess piece.
Prev
#rwby#ruby rose#rwby ruby rose#weiss schnee#penny polendina#drabbles#frosen steel#ruby x weiss x penny#darkened soul au
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Wraith Radio Pt. 2
Part 1
“You’re listening to Wraith Radio, your number one link to the living realm. I’m your host, the wandering ghost, Ellie Phantom. It’s day two of my adventure in Gotham City, and I gotta say, today was… wild. Bit of context for those who missed the start of yesterday’s show, long story short, I publicly told the Red Hood that I would wait for him at this place called Park Row so I could take him to a doctor in the ghost zone because his body is bad.
After I ended the show, I got this call from my cousin, Danny. He and his friends back in Amity had been listening, and they think that, because I never showed off any of my powers or anything, and cause I look like any other human, he might not have actually believed I was a ghost. Which, fair, I guess.
So now I’m thinking, ‘well, no big deal, I can just show him my ghost form.’ Buuuuut then I remember the stupid amount of curses and stuff all around this city, and as part of the ghost population who technically never experienced death— no, that time I melted does not count— I’d like to prolong that experience for as long as possible if you don’t mind. Where was I? Oh right, so now I’m thinking, ‘well, no problem, I can just open up a portal, bring him to the zone, and transform there.’ Quick, simple, no problem.
So we come to today. I’m at the meeting spot, it’s five minutes to the meeting time, and I’m sitting on the edge of this rooftop, keeping an eye out for the arrival of the Red Hood.
And then a building blows up.
Right across the street, the top floor of this sketchy run down place I had been staring at, just. Boom! And then I hear all these gunshots, and screaming, and I look down at my watch, and I have about four minutes before noon, so I turn invisible, float over, and poke my head through the wall. Right there, center of the room, I see Batman, Robin, Red Robin, and Red Hood fighting this… I dunno, skinny twink with like a burlap sack over his head? Look, it took me a week to memorize the Gotham vigilante’s names and costumes alone, I wasn’t going out of my way to look up their entire rogues gallery. But anyway, they’re fighting this guy and a bunch of people who I assume are working for this guy, and I see some people tied up in the corner screaming their heads off for no clear reason. I mean, yes, I know it’s scary being tied up by an evil scarecrow of a man, but when I say screaming, I don’t mean ‘please, save me, I’m in distress’ screaming, I mean ‘the soulshredder just sliced through me and now I’m seeing my worst fears manifested in front of my eyes’ screaming.
So I get a little closer, I land on the floor, and just, to go off on a bit of a tangent for a second, the Gotham vigilantes are just. So much taller than me. I felt so incredibly tiny being in the same room as them. Like, yeah, I know I’m short, but I had hoped that I would at least be the same height as Robin, but no. I swear, every time I stand next to someone who’s supposed to be close to my ‘physical’ age, I become more and more convinced that the billionaire who made me had absolutely no idea what he was doing. He brought me to life and was like ‘you’re a twelve year old!’ and I was like ‘you’re right!’ because I had no frame of reference because I was born that morning. Anyway, so I get closer to the screeching humans being held against their will, and I feel this scratchy, almost burning feeling in the back of my throat. I try to brush it off, but then I look down, and I see my body fucking melting.
Now this isn’t be my first time melting, so my first thought isn’t ‘oh god I’m gonna go from half to full ghost,’ or even ‘ugh this shit again,’ but rather ‘why the fuck doesn’t this hurt?’ Because I know exactly what melting is supposed to feel like, and it isn’t a feeling you can just ignore. Like, I can’t really describe it to someone who’s never had every muscle in their body suddenly coalesce into one, with every attached nerve ending screaming louder than a heavy metal band, but trust me when I say that the “pain” I was feeling was barely anything compared to actually melting, like it felt more like my skin was itchy than anything. So, I try poking one of the places where my body is melting— don’t ask me why, I don’t really know why I did it— and instead of feeling ectoplasm drip over my hands, I just feel… my arm. And I realize, ‘oh, not only is this just an illusion, it’s a shitty one.’ Or, y’know, at the very least one that doesn’t work too well on a halfa.
So I shake that off, cause yeah, I don’t like seeing myself melt again, but as long as it’s not actually happening again, I’m good. Plus, if it does start again, I do still have my extra ecto dejectos in my bag, and yes, Danny, I will call you if it actually happens, sorry if I almost gave you a heart attack a few minutes ago. Anyway, I turn back to all the tied up screaming people, and I notice these, like, fog-machine-looking-thing next to all of them, and I get closer to one, and the scratchy feeling at the back of my throat gets worse, so now I’m thinking ‘oh, this must be what’s causing everyone to see things.’ So I turn my arm intangible, stick it into this machine, and I pull out this bottle of just… the worst smelling chemicals I’ve ever been near, which is saying a lot for someone born and raised in a basement lab. But, it stops the fog machine, so I plug it with some stuff from my bag, and pocket it so I can’t smell it anymore. I keep doing this to each of the nearby machines, and eventually the front pocket of my bag is just completely stuffed with gross chemicals.
So that’s over with, and I look over to see if the fight’s done, but no, they’re all still going at it, which means I still can’t talk to Red Hood and get him to the Zone, so I figure I have some time to kill. And I remember that there’s, like, ten or so people tied up against their will, so I start freeing all of them. Obviously, the ropes themselves are really easy, all I really need to do is phase them off. The people, on the other hand, are crazy hard to get to actually do anything other than scream. Like, I try pushing people towards the exit, I try dragging them across the floor, anything to get them to leave the building which is— in case you forgot— on fire. I mean it’s just the top floor, but I’ve heard from Ember that a fire anywhere in the house could be the cause of a human’s death, especially if no one’s watching it, and I doubt that anyone is actually watching that fire.
So now I’m kinda panicking, cause I was hoping the fight would be over by now and all these people would have been brought outside, but not only is the fight not over, I look over and see the bad guy throw these cans over at the people, and I realize that they’re giving off the exact same poison-fog as the machines from earlier. And I’m just. So pissed off. Like, I just took care of that!! For all I knew, that illusion stuff could’ve worn off in a few minutes, and I wouldn’t have to worry about keeping all these people alive!!
Side note— Danny. I get it now. I get the whole ‘desperate need to protect any and all humans’ feeling you were talking about.
They are just… so easy to put into danger.
Holy shit.
Anyway, I’m feeling that whole ‘selfless anger on behalf of strangers’ thing for the first time, and I think it turns my brain off, cause I just pick up the cans and throw them at the bad guys head while yelling ‘FUCK YOU, DIPSHIT!’
And my invisibility drops.
So.
Not my best decision.
But not my worst, because my aim was perfect.
I’m pretty sure I knocked him unconscious, but I’ll be honest I wasn’t really paying attention to that guy anymore because I had just revealed one of my abilities— not to mention I think my eyes were glowing— in front of the fucking Batman. Now, I don’t know if the rumors about him hating metas are true, but I do know that most humans fucking hate ghosts, that I definitely don’t know what he thinks I am, and that I’m not risking my ass to find out. So, invisibility goes back up, and I start to book it before I remember that the whole fucking reason I showed up was to help out Red Hood. So I take a flyer, write “sorry, try again tomorrow?” on the back, and then I get the fuck out.
I wind up flying so fast back to this little hideout I’m staying at that I guess I wound up jostling some things in my bag? Yeah, by the time I get back, I feel this… leaking through my bag. And I take it off, so I can check out the damage, and uh…
Ok, so remember how I mentioned those ecto dejectos I keep on me? Well, I tend to keep them in the front pocket. And the scary-illusion-liquid-stuff was also put in the front pocket. And one of the bottles and an ecto-dejecto hit each other just a bit too hard. And apparently. When these two things are combined. You get… a blob ghost. Who only knows how to melt.
I’ve named him Goop, and he’s the most pathetic creature I’ve seen in my life. He just melts until all of his body is liquid, then it all just blorps back together. He’s solid for like a second, then he starts to melt again. Also he keeps trying to drink the scary-illusion-liquid. I’ve been holding him in my lap this entire time, and while he’s not hard to stop, I do still need to sleep, so if anyone has any advice on how to handle a mutant blob ghost, I’m all ears. Also, if theres any specific way to get rid of mysterious chemicals that honestly shouldn’t exist, please tell me, otherwise I’m just gonna find a sink and dump it.
Anyway, that’s enough about my day, onto things I’ve heard about the city…”
————————
The batfam stared silently at the glowing radio that Jason had brought.
And an unspoken agreement was reached.
Meta, ghost, whatever— this was a child with absolutely no adult supervision, severe trauma, an unknown set of powers, and a ridiculous amount of fear toxin. Not to mention something that she described to be a “mutant blob ghost.”
It was time to do a bit of research into the kid.
Or, it would, were it not for the fact that “Wraith Radio” didn’t seem to exist online, nor did “Ellie Phantom.” It was also likely she used a fake name for her show, since there didn’t seem to be any records of an “Ellie Phantom” anywhere.
Of course, that wasn’t enough to deter them. After all, she herself had mentioned her family.
And so, they began looking into Amity and her cousin, Danny.
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Friday Nights
This took me way too long to write but I made it longer to compensate. The anonymous prompt that was inspiration for this wanted some jealous Nancy which is the beginning of the story and ronance endgame which is the end. I hope you all like it and I hope to finish more prompts soon.
You can read my previous prompts or send me some new ones. Although it might take a while for me to finish them.
Something was wrong with Nancy. It almost felt like there was a bug creeping under her skin. Although… It wasn’t always like that. In fact, most of the time she was fine, normal. But then there were times where her blood was boiling and she felt on edge. Like right now, as she was seated across from Robin who was talking animatedly about her date with Vickie. It’s like she couldn’t even help her fingers from tightening their hold on her cold glass. And the worst part was that she couldn’t understand why she felt this way.
She loved spending time with Robin. She loved listening to Robin ramble on and on about whatever was on her mind. Unless it was her girlfriend. And it didn’t make sense because Nancy had had no problem when Robin came out.
“And then she drove me home,” Robin said with a smile. Her lips sucked on the straw of her drink and for a second Nancy forgot about the bug under her skin or the way her blood was supposed to be boiling. For a second Nancy’s mind went blank and she just stared.
“That’s great, Robin.” Nancy kept looking at Robin’s lips as they curved back into that beautiful smile.
“I know, right! I never thought I’d find anyone who would actually want to go on a date with me.”
“Oh, c’mon. Anyone would be lucky to date you.”
Robin shrugged. “It’s not like there are a bunch of gay girls in Hawkins Indiana. But anyway, it’s not that it matters. I found one and I’m not gonna let her go.”
Nancy could feel her shoulders tense. “Great,” she mumbled, her eyes cast down.
“Yeah, we’re going out again on Friday.”
Something inside of Nancy snapped. “Friday?”
“Yeah, Friday.”
Fridays were sacred for Nancy. Those were the few moments she had where she could sit on a couch in an overheated room with her thigh pressed against Robin’s. It was only then that she could turn off her mind.
“We had plans on Friday.” She kept her voice as even as she could but her hands were shaking.
“Yeah, but we do the same thing every Friday and I have to work all weekend.”
“If you didn’t like what we were doing on Fridays you could have just said so.” She was losing her composure, could feel it bubbling up in her throat.
“No, that’s not it. Nancy, you know I love our little movie nights but I just— I want to spend some time with my girlfriend.”
“Good to know I’m no longer good enough.” Nancy pushed her chair back, fumbled with some money she had in her pocket and walked out of the diner. It was petty and it was stupid and Nancy knew that in the back of her mind. But her heart lay in shambles in her chest and she couldn’t care about what she might have just destroyed.
She walked home. Her eyes tearing up, her chest aching and her mind running a mile per minute. The streets of Hawkins had lost their comfort many years ago but tonight the stabbing cold felt even worse than it usually did. The empty roads and dark houses pulled at her heartstrings, deepening the hurt. Once upon a time this town felt like home. Now nothing did. Nothing except maybe the few people that understand.
Nothing except maybe Robin.
A raindrop fell on her nose. Quickly followed by a second and a third. Nancy quickened her pace. She had never liked the cold that the rain brings. It was worse after everything. Now that she knew he liked the cold, she despised it even more.
Which is why she was rushing home. It was also exactly why she didn’t watch out enough, why she misplaced her foot and twisted her ankle. One pained scream broke through the silence and then…
“Nancy? Nancy, are you okay?”
Nancy turned her head to watch as Robin ran up to her. The girl nearly fell on her ass as she halted next to Nancy.
“Are you alright?” she repeated.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just hurt my ankle.” To make her point clear Nancy pointed at her right foot that was lifted slightly into the air to keep the weight off of it.
“Okay, okay.” Robin kept nodding her head, something she often did when she was thinking. Nancy couldn’t keep the smile off her face. “Okay, you can put your arm around me and I’ll support you.”
“What? No, Robin, I’m fine.” Nancy put her foot down to demonstrate only to wince as the pain clawed up her leg.
“You are not fine. Just let me help you.”
“What are you even doing here?” Nancy tried her best to keep that edge to her voice, the one she had had earlier, but somehow seeing Robin in the dim street lights had faded away that anger.
“Walking home, we take the same way for the most part, only I have to go—”
“Yes, I know where you live.”
“Are you mad at me?” Robin’s fingers were messing with her rings, a nervous habit. “Because I know that what I said may have come off wrong. I didn’t mean to imply that you are not good enough because you are great and— and I love our Friday nights together. Look, I’ll call Vickie tonight and I’ll tell her that something came up and then we can watch a movie together and we can just forget any of this ever happened.”
Nancy wanted to kiss Robin. She took a step back as the thought popped into her head. It hadn’t crossed her mind before. She wasn’t even supposed to want to kiss Robin because Robin had a girlfriend. And because Nancy was straight, of course. Why hadn’t that come to mind?
“Oh fuck.”
“What?” Robin asked, her eyes wide.
“I have to— I have to go.” Nancy started walking back, wincing with every step she took. Whether it was because of her injured ankle or because Robin was shouting her name behind her, she wasn’t sure.
—
Nancy punched her ice cream with her spoon. She had never understood why broken hearted girls always wanted ice cream. But being one of those broken hearted girls changed her perspective. Not that it was really mending anything. In fact whenever she looked at the tub filled with frozen sweetness she could only think of Robin standing there in the lighting of the Starcourt mall in that stupidly cute sailor outfit.
She felt truly pathetic when a lonesome tear mixed in with her ice cream as she pushed the spoon in her mouth. When did she get so hung up on her own love life? She hadn’t cried after her break up with Steve. Hadn’t even shed a tear for Jonathan when he told her they couldn’t go on like this.
But apparently just knowing that Robin was out with some other girl was enough to open the floodgates that had been bolted shut before.
She hated herself for feeling like this and she hated herself for hating Vickie. Robin deserved happiness and if Vickie made her happy that should be enough for Nancy. But it wasn’t and it never would be. Because Nancy was selfish and Nancy was envious. She had always been like this. She had always wanted what she couldn’t have and then she’d fight her way to have it anyway.
She wondered if she could get what she wanted. If maybe she could get Robin to break Vickie’s heart and choose her instead. But even if she could, she wasn’t that cruel.
“Nancy! There is someone at the door!” Mike yelled from across the hall.
“Why don’t you get it?”
“I’m busy!”
“So am I!”
“Well I’m not going to get it.”
Nancy sighed. Her bare feet sunk in the carpeted floor. She was still holding the ice cream as she descended the stairs and walked up to the front door. If this was another one of those pamphlet assholes who were trying to get her to go back to church she would throw the door back in their face.
But it wasn’t.
“Hi, Nance. I was beginning to worry you weren’t going to open this door. I mean Steve told me to climb up to your window but we both know I’m too clumsy for that. I wouldn’t want to fall down and break my spine or anything. Anyway, it’s Friday night and I thought we could watch a movie together, like we usually do. I brought popcorn.” Robin held up a plastic bag.
“I— Uhm, I thought you were going out with Vickie?”
“Things between me and Vickie aren’t going to work out actually.”
“Why not? What happened?” Finally, Nancy moved out of the way to let Robin inside.
“I just—” Robin walked past Nancy. “I was telling her about the fight we had the other day and how I was worried that I had ruined our friendship or something and she— She just said some stuff that changed my opinion of her.”
“What did she say?” Nancy followed the other girl into the living room.
“She said I shouldn’t care too much about your opinion because you were a priss.”
Nancy bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from smiling. “According to Steve, you called me a priss once upon a time.”
“That was— I— it was different. This is a very different context.”
Nancy hummed and nodded. She wanted to come up with a comeback, to tease her friend even more, but her heart was swelling in her chest and that was enough to quiet her.
“So, movie?” Robin asked with a hesitant smile. Maybe she was scared that Nancy was upset with her or maybe she was hiding something.
“Yes, of course. I’ll make the popcorn and you can go to the basement and pick a movie. We don’t have a lot to offer but some of Mike’s are still down there.” Nancy grabbed the popcorn out of Robin’s hands and walked into the kitchen.
She disposed of the ice cream by pushing it back into the freezer and went to work on the microwave. Her fingers were shaking as she grabbed a bowl. Her whole body was buzzing with the need to be near Robin again. Now that she was able to give a meaning to the feeling, it made her feel like a young school girl again. It made her feel like the version of herself from before Upside Down monsters. It felt nice.
Robin was sitting on the couch with her hands in her lap when Nancy reached her. “What did you pick?” Nancy asked, placing the bowl on the table in front of them and taking a seat next to Robin.
“Your brother doesn’t own a lot of movies but I found a copy of Little Shop of Horrors and that seemed to be the best option. Is that okay?”
“Of course.”
A silence fell over them. Nancy waiting patiently for Robin to turn on the movie, as she always did, while Robin just tapped her thigh.
“Should I?” Nancy pointed at the TV.
“Uhm, yeah, sure.”
“Are you okay?”
Robin nodded her head.
“Are you sure?”
“I guess I’m just worried you’re upset with me.”
“Why would you think I’m upset with you?”
Robin’s face contorted in a pained expression. “It’s stupid really but usually you— uhm. Usually you sit closer.”
“Would you like for me to sit closer?”
“Yes,” Robin replied, sounding slightly breathless.
Nancy shuffled closer, pressing her thigh against Robin’s like she usually did. A habit that first formed when Steve and Jonathan still joined in on their movie nights.
“Uhm— maybe a little bit closer?” Robin whispered.
Nancy’s heart rate sped up as she pushed her body even closer to Robin’s. The touch points heating up Nancy’s skin.
“Like this?” Nancy asked, her voice breaking on the second word.
“Yeah but uhm— could you get a tiny bit closer?”
“Robin, if I get any closer I’ll be sitting on top of you.” Nancy laughed it off as best as she could. She noticed how Robin was holding her breath.
“Yeah.” The girl nodded her head.
“Robin, do you like me?” The question slipped out.
“Of course I like you. We’re friends,” Robin laughed.
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Nance, I wouldn’t ruin—“
“Because I like you. You know, like that.” It was terrifying to speak those words. All of the possibilities laying right there in the open.
“You do?” Robin’s head turned so fast Nancy worried the girl got whiplash.
“I do.”
“I do too.”
“You do?” It was too good to be true. It was way too good to be true. Robin liked her back.
“I do,” Robin admitted.
Nancy had wanted to do this right. She had wanted to take her time, perhaps even ask for permission before she went for it. But her heart was beating heavily and her mind was clouded, conjuring up nothing beside that one word. That one name. Robin. Robin. Robin.
She dove in, connecting her lips with those of the girl she was falling for. It was hard and passionate and clumsy. But Robin kissed back. And Robin placed her hands carefully on Nancy’s waist. And Robin pulled her closer, on top of her.
All of Nancy’s senses were filled with Robin as they kissed and kissed and kissed. The movie long forgotten.
They’d have time to watch the movie later. They’d have time to sit on that couch with their thighs pressed together, eating popcorn and continuously sliding their hands together with sneaky smiles on their faces.
But for now Nancy wanted to lose herself in the girl that had brought her back to life.
#prompts#ronance#nancy wheeler#robin buckley#my work#stranger things#fanfic#robin x nancy#ronance fic#nancy x robin#ficlet
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Triple Black
Chapter One: Life A New
Many in the mafia believe that the highest of the mafia’s rankings is the boss, Ougai’s ranking, but that assumption would be incorrect. I hold the most elevated position of power in the mafia, the mafia’s underboss, but Ougai seems to favor the term “little princess”. He may be the boss but I’m the real strength behind the mafia.
Walking along the railings of the mafia headquarters is always calming, at one point it was my only escape from Ougai and his ways. The wind blew through my long hair tossing it around along with the fabric of my long red dress. The sound of the bustling streets of Yokohama rings in my ears despite it being late night or early morning, I can't keep track anymore. The days just run by, hours blending together, waiting for a call from Ougai, him needing me for my power or something else. Basking in the moonlight is my only solace until I feel my phone vibrating in my bag. He needs me. I hop off the railing and reach for my bag and the device inside, answering it.
"Hello." I greeted simply,
"Why hello, my darling! I require you in my office immediately!" he quickly responds his usual cheery voice sounding the slightest bit off,
"Yes sir." then the buzzing of an ending phone call rang through the night.
Our phone conversations are always short but never sweet, they hold a bitter taste on my tongue, holding fear for what's to come. Nonetheless, I take a fast pace down the stairs toward his office. Arriving within a minute I take my usual perch above his bookshelves, a spot he carved out to be seen by no one but himself, being able to keep me close without the other's knowledge. I take a quick look at his face, gauging his mood behind that lying smile.
“X, I require your services…” Ougai voiced out loud, seemingly more to the room than to me.
I see what’s going on.
"A mission has been quite troublesome and I require your expertise, it seems as though no one is competent here but you X…" he continues.
Who's there? He just lets a sigh out through his mouth, disappointed in my lack of an answer. Ushering for two men to come out from their hiding places. They were both.. on the ceiling? What is going on here? I was almost surprised that they still seemed confused, they still couldn’t see me even when they were on the ceiling Ougai really thought of everything with this hiding place, but I remained unmoving. I can’t move until he makes the order. I can’t do anything without his order. Without him…
"This is X. X meet Chuuya and Dazai, I'm sure you've heard about them by now." He pointed at each of them as he said their names. He continued to say "While they're strong and I'm sure could take care of this task alone, I fear that you have become rusty. So I will be pairing the three of you up for this mission at least."
‘Rusty’. God’s no, I’m not rusty, I can’t be rusty, he’ll dispose of me. I can’t go back there. Never. No matter what.
Ougai wasn’t able to continue speaking before he was cut off by the two’s bickering. Yelling something about not wanting to work with the other, throwing insults left and right. The brunette mainly insulted the ginger's height, which while slightly funny I didn't dare voice a laugh, I continued to stare at Ougai. Once the two were done with their screaming match Chuuya turned away, opting to look towards Ougai instead.
"Who is this X anyways? How can they do better than me alone? Is their ability really that great? I don't need him or them to complete any mission! The coward hasn’t even shown their face to us!" Chuuya voiced loudly.
Ougai smiled, the smile he had when he was ready to play his trump card. “X, you may come out now.” he looked at me from my quarter nodding, and I jumped down to meet him at his side.
Chuuya quickly shut up, I couldn’t make out the expression on his face. It was like nothing I’d seen aimed toward me before, it was soft, a face of pity perhaps, kindness maybe? I had no idea but it made me feel something I couldn’t put into words. Dazai interjected with a scoff, adding to Chuuya’s previous disdain.
"I think she's beautiful but surely she can't do the job better than me! And such lovely hands, perhaps she could strangle me with those pretty nails digging into my neck" Dazai fantasized while I had to hold back a jolt at his words.
"She can do anything you can do five times faster and more efficiently I promise you." Ougai snapped harshly. I almost let out a scoff, he never liked it when someone mistreated me. Not because he cared about me though, after all, he does the same. He just didn't like when people insulted his possessions. He calmed and said "She will be an asset to your team trust me. Your mission will be explained to you soon, arrive on time, and complete this at all costs." They both nodded, Chuuya more angrily, and walked out.
As soon as I was sure the door had shut I looked to Ougai silently asking permission to speak, with his nod of approval I spoke, "What's assignment is so difficult you need me and two other people to complete it?" I asked. He smiled at me, the smile I loathed, "I have no doubt that you could do this alone, however, I worry for you, you know?" I shot him a confused look, he has never shown any care for my well-being, "I fear you will become rusty without the proper use… You seem to just soak in solitude when you aren’t on a job, I think this will be good for you." I wanted to laugh, he just wanted to show me off huh, scare some other organization out of messing with the Port Mafia again. He doesn't care. Not that I’d want him to care, like when I was younger.
"Very well is that all?" he sighs at my lack of excitement about this arrangement and the prospect of his care. "Yes that will be all, go to your room and prepare for the assignment, a car will arrive early tomorrow to drive you and the executives to your mission." I nod in recognition and walk out, heading toward my small room, at least it's not his room like it was when I was younger. Walking in I discard my dress and get into my combat uniform, I prefer it over the dress Ougai makes me wear, just a simple black turtleneck and black pants accompanied by Ougai’s coat and exchange the long elegant white gloves with the short black ones he gave me when he took me in. Then I sat in wait letting the hours ooze between my gloved fingers until it was time.
When the clock struck two, I got up off the bed heading toward the area with the car that would be taking us to our mission, the car was already there as expected, but there were the two executives despite me being thirty minutes early. Much to my dismay, this was not one of the usual cars nor the limo Ougai likes to drive around in, so I assume we are trying to be more inconspicuous. However, this also meant there were only three seats in the back seat, and because the two boys were already seated a space away from each other I was forced to sit between them.
It was odd, instead of feeling uncomfortable squished between the two men, it almost felt peaceful. Chuuya was warm and comforting against me, while Dazai was cold but just as comforting. Never before have I felt like this, but, I guess that's to be expected considering how little interaction I've had with anyone outside of Ougai, who is far from comforting. It was a pleasant ride, silent and oddly without tension between the two men, which I had come to expect from them, I can only imagine why. However, I couldn't be comforted by their presence for long, I know they would surely despise me after using my ability, but I suppose that is my fate, an eternity of loneliness.
Though I felt comforted by their presence I could still feel that they were sizing me up. Their burning gazes didn’t cease until we arrived at our destination, a warehouse of sorts, who would’ve thought? If he called on me surely it means that there is more to this than a small exchange of goods. We all exited the car and headed toward the large doors pushing past them and being met with nothing but the usual worn-down walls and crumbling ceiling that usually was present in these types of exchanges.
The confused silence didn’t last long though it was quickly replaced with gunfire, nothing new. I swept past the bullets, heading toward the area where the gunfire was coming from. While I was doing so the two executives didn’t take too much longer than me to regain their composure and begin to use their weapons and abilities. Chuuya activated his ability and began to fight back against the bullets sending them back toward the attackers with a swift kick. Dazai seemed to not have much going for him in this situation though he just seemed to be scraping by, using his gun instead of his ability. While he is a nice shot, surely he can’t make it far with that alone?
Never mind that I need to focus at least a little on my own safety and part in this mission. It won’t take much longer with my ability anyway. I made it to the outside of the building within seconds, still hearing the gunfire, I deduced that they were somewhere outside the building. They were easy to spot though wearing way too much armor out in the open, clearly a sign of fear. With urgency, I made my way up the side of the building toward the platforms where the men were shooting from and strolled towards them. They were too wrapped up in their own mission to even notice that I was approaching until it was too late. I had already taken off my leather gloves and placed my left hand on each of them with an uttered “I order you, die now…” with that they immediately fell to the floor with no sign of distress or wounds, the perfect murder. The two below me finally noticed both that I was gone and that the gunfire ceased.
I jumped through the window on the ceiling that the men were shooting from to the floor a few feet in front of the two men. I walked slowly up to the red-headed executive placed my right hand on his arm and muttered quietly “I order you, live now…” And then placed my gloves back on looked the two in the eye without another word and walked out to the car waiting. This time I got to pick the seat I was in, and based on the little interaction I’d seen between the two, I was expecting a long and loud car ride. The car ride back to headquarters was silent unlike what I expected, though it was not unpredictable per se. As is my curse, the curse of war.
They followed close behind me towards Ougai’s office, in silence still, Dazai only running ahead of me once we were within a few feet of the door. He knocked earning a quick ‘come in’ from Ougai before pushing the double doors open. Ougai was facing us, holding his head in his hands with his usual smile.
“Did you complete the mission?” he asked, he already knew the answer, but I suspect he wanted to know their impression of me and my ability.
Dazai paused, looking down, I was preparing myself for an onslaught of disgust and insults, instead, Dazai looked up with a chipper smile.
“She was amazing! I’ve never seen such amazing power! She even looked good while doing it! She could kill me so easily and painlessly! If only this troublesome ability wasn’t in the way!” he swooned, racing towards me and getting on his knees below me, caressing my hand through my gloves before intertwining his hand with mine “Either way, Belladonna would you please grant me an elegant death with your exquisite hands?”
Of all the things I was expecting to happen, this never qualified. This man really did have a death wish, his intense gaze was making me somewhat uncomfortable. Just then Chuuya placed his hand on my shoulder making me jump slightly.
“I hate to agree with the mackerel but he’s right her power was… helpful. The mission went smoothly.” Chuuya grumbled.
Ougai laughed, “Yes she’s a spectacle isn’t she!”
I whipped my head up looking at Ougai, a pitiful look on my face a look of confusion, fear, and discomfort. What was going on? I’m not prepared to handle this.
Ougai laughed again at the look on my face, “I’m glad the three of you are getting along so well, based on this experimental mission I’ve come to a decision!”
The three of us directed our attention back at him waiting for his next words.
He continued, “From this point to the foreseeable future, the three of you will be working together” he smiled as if we were all supposed to be delighted by this news.
I was not, I snatched my hand away from Dazai and shrugged Chuuya’s hand off of me shifting left of them, enough for me to calm down but not enough to the point that Ougai could be upset. They just stared at me confused, then Dazai got up off of his knees below me heading toward where I was standing, getting closer than I’d liked him to be.
“I for one think it’s a great idea boss! It’s sure an upgrade from the slug! A stunning and powerful asset!” he complimented as Chuuya grumbled in the same spot. Why was this happening? Was I not useful on my own anymore? Has he grown tired of me? Is it just a matter of time before he sends me back there? I was dwelling in my own thoughts, the darkness having its’ grip on me once again, the war stirring in me. Chuuya just nodded in agreement at Dazai’s statement and with everyone’s content but mine Ougai smiled.
“Effective immediately I would like the three of you to move into a room at headquarters so that your progress can be monitored and your teamwork can improve” Ougai finished.
This time the two seemed less enthralled by the news, I’m glad I’m not the only one objecting now. They were now yelling about each other’s bad habits and how annoyed they would be having to share a living space with each other. It was odd for them to hate each other so much but know so much about each other laughable even. So against my better judgment, I let out a little snicker. I thought it wouldn’t even be audible over their yelling but apparently, it was because both of them turned to look at me, both of their stern gazes softening the smallest bit at my laugh. Once I realized it was silent and everyone was staring at me I retreated to behind Ougai’s desk and away from the two allowing a stern look to return to my face.
Ougai looked from me and then back at the two before speaking to us again, “I expect the three of you to train together tomorrow, I will send some men to clear out your respective rooms and move them into your new home!” he exclaimed. The two of them nodded before taking the hint and leaving the room, I stayed silent until they left. It finally dawned on me how serious he was, this was actually happening.
Turning to Ougai I looked at him with a face of fear, he smiled at me as he usually did. “Come now this is good for you! I have no doubt you’ll make a great team!” he waited for my answer. “I have no doubt of that either… However, you know very well I can take any mission on my own so why pair me up with two executives?” I asked. “You know very well why. Or would you prefer to go back there?” he threatened with a dead look in his eyes, a sinister look he only held when he wanted to instill fear, to make it known that he was serious. “No sir” and with that, his usual cheery smile was back. “Good girl!” he beamed “It appears double black is now triple black..”
Slight A/N: Sorry that the reader is portrayed with feminine characteristics and she/her pronouns! This will change after the first few chapters! I'm not sure how often I'll update this but I will be uploading other content as well! I have two other chapters written so far and will post those within a few days! I hope you enjoyed this! Also, this is a very self-indulgent series btw so it will probably not be for everyone </3 Also if anyone is curious this takes place when Dazai, Chuuya, and the reader are all 18!
#chuuya x reader#dazai x reader#dazai osamu#chuuya nakahara#bungou stray dogs#chuuya x reader x dazai#tw mori#ftm reader
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Your takes reek of white privilege and I'm not surprised, given that you haven't posted much information about what's going on in Gaza at all. Your reality is one in which you can go to work and talk to friends and listen to Taylor and have a roof over your head and a Palestinian's reality is one in which they have to get limbs amputated without anaesthesia and leave the bodies of the ones they've loved most in the world rotting under rubble. A reality in which they lose 20 kg in 2 months because of starvation, they sleep on the street while rockets rain down on the buildings around them, knowing that they might not wake up, or they might wake up with tonnes of rubble on top of them, pain tearing through their body from their broken limbs and damaged organs, in which case they might start screaming and screaming and even if someone hears them, no one will be able to pull them out. The machines they used to use for this in the beginning can't run anymore.
These are not exaggerations. They are first hand accounts from Gazans. And you sit over there and say that white rich celebrities have no responsibilities to help these people. When Israel is a colony whose existence relies very heavily on propaganda. Everyone's words matter. And here is white indifference to brown pain, being excused- nay, rewarded, over and over again.
The fact that you bring up starving children in Africa goes to show that you view suffering in the global south as something you have the right to close your eyes and pretend doesn't exist. Shame on you. I pray that you never have to endure even an ounce of what these people have to endure. I know it would break you.
I’m sorry but this is so fucking insane lmao - it’s not white privilege to say I know nothing about this, and I am a regular ass uninvolved person and not a confident source of political information. Im not interested in doing any kind of internet performance about it, and I’d rather listen to friends - and relatives, actually! - I have whom it affects, and learn. Imo, and I think in a lot of theirs, it’s on a good day absurd and on a bad one fucking racist to make my voice so loud I’m talking over the people it actually affects, and spreading TONS of misinfo (some of it in good faith, but I’ve seen SO many things that turn out to be incorrect I’m just not interested in spreading that when I can just listen to people I know instead). Im a Taylor Swift blog, and a random Twitter user, and a random girl on instagram.
I am not your deep rooted international conflict news source and neither is Taylor Swift. If you expect everyone alive to be that you’re going to be deeply disappointed.
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Pinky Promises
Saga Anderson & Alex Casey
Long before they go to Bright Falls, Saga confronts Alex about his poorly-disguised mental state during a stakeout.
Read it on ao3
“Are you doing okay?”
The silence in the car was suddenly stifling. It stuck to Casey like cling wrap. A brief moment of regret pressed into his mind at the fact that they had opted for no music on this stakeout. He was sure that even the rookie agent’s music taste would’ve been better than the silence that hung between them now.
“I’m fine,” he replied gruffly without sparing Anderson a look. He couldn’t stand any more pity.
Sure, the last few months had been hard. Maybe he wasn’t eating quite enough and maybe he was drinking more coffee than he should. Maybe he had been hitting the bottle a bit too hard. But those problems were for him to deal with, not his new partner..
Outside of the car, the street was dead. No cars passing by and bumping loud music or hooligans screaming at each other from across the road. There was no sound to distract from the thumping in Casey’s chest in his ears. He was never someone to be put off by silence, but this one was hanging particularly heavy.
Saga Anderson was many things, but a pushover was not one of them. She had noticed the change in Casey’s demeanor long before she had overheard that his wife wanted a divorce. It wasn’t that he was getting slow or sloppy, quite the opposite in fact. He was always jittery - over-caffeinated, if she had to guess - and on edge. But, underneath the facade he had begun to put up, she could see the light fading. He wasn’t the most affectionate or personable partner that she had ever had, but he always had a spark when it came to intense investigations, like the one they were currently on.
Normally, Casey would be collected and focused on a long stakeout like this, especially when the outcome could lead to busting one of the largest drug trafficking rings in the area. Instead, his fingers drummed on the steering wheel and he wore a thousand-yard stare.
Anderson frowned. “You don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to, but you’ve gotta talk to someone, Casey,” she sighed. “Because whatever you’re going through is obviously not getting any better.”
That caught Casey’s attention. He knew the young agent had a habit of not sugar-coating her words, but it caught him off guard to be on the other side of one of her remarks. “I’m not ‘going through’ anything, Anderson,” he spat back, with a slightly mocking lilt. He reached down for the climate control of the car and turned the heat up. He wasn’t cold, but he needed something, anything, to fill the silence between them.
Anderson was quick to follow, turning the heat back down to force him to listen to her. “Bullshit. I’m not blind, Alex.” She crossed her arms and he was forced to turn and look at her.
It was clear to him now: he wasn’t getting out of this conversation.
“And even if I were blind, and I couldn’t see the unholy amount of coffee that you’ve been drinking or the bags beneath your eyes, you can bet your ass that I’d still be able to smell the alcohol on your breath when you come into work.” Her eyes bore into his soul, sparing no expense to make him understand what she was saying.
Casey softened immediately. Maybe things were getting out of hand on his end.
“Saga, I-” he said softly, but she didn’t stop to give him space to say anything further.
“I feel like you’re forgetting that we’re supposed to have each other’s backs out here. We’re a team, damnit, how am I supposed to trust you to have my six when I can’t trust you to have your own?”
That thick, impenetrable silence fell over them again. Anderson was breathing heavily as if she had just run a marathon.
On the other hand, Casey’s lungs refused to work. He was stunned by her directness and ashamed that he had let it get this far.
“You’re right,” he admitted softly. “You can’t trust me to have your back, I’m sorry. I’ll put in to get you transferred to another partner when we’re done with this assignment.” He looked back out into the street, feigning to look for their subject, but really he couldn’t stand to see the hurt in her eyes anymore
Saga sighed again and furrowed her brow. “Stop that,” she said, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. “I don’t want another partner. I just want you to talk to me.” She paused before continuing, as if debating whether or not she wanted to in the first place. In the end, she did. “You’re the best mentor I could ask for. You’ve always treated me as an equal and you’ve always stood up for me in the bullpen. I’ve learned more working with you in the last six months than I did my entire time in the academy and on FTO. You’re an inspiration to me, Alex, and more than that, you’re my friend and I just wish you would see me like that too.”
A moment passed as Casey let her words sink in. And just like that, the cold, hardboiled federal agent cracked.
“Jesus, Anderson,” he coughed, trying to cover up the fact that he was choking up, “I-” He shook his head and wiped the wetness that he refused to acknowledge from his eyes. “I see you as a friend, too, Saga.” he admitted, finally taking a deep breath in. “And well, I guess… no. I’m not doing okay.”
Her face lifted slightly and she smiled softly at him. “Let’s talk about it.”
Casey sighed. “I’m sure you’ve heard about the divorce.”
Saga nodded, giving him space to continue.
“Well, Miranda and her lawyer are going for my throat with the settlement. She wants the house and both of the cars and-”
Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as a shadow darted across the street and into the apartment building they were staking out.
“Shit, that’s him.” Casey cursed, immediately going to unlock the door and chase. Anderson grabbed his arm and pulled him back into the seat. He turned to her with an incredulous look on his face to see that she was holding out her other hand with a pinky outstretched.
“We’re going to come back to this, promise?”
Casey huffed. Rolling his eyes, he locked his pinky with hers and responded under his breath: “Pinky promise.”
Saga smiled triumphantly. “Good. Now let’s go bust these sons of bitches.”
#alex casey needs a hug#emotions are hard#opening up about them is harder#alex casey#saga anderson#alan wake 2#remedy entertainment#fanfiction#fanfic#buddy cops#stakeout#pre-canon#Saga Anderson & Alex Casey#partners#blurb#coffee breaks series
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Abandoned Buildings
Koro Sensei [Ryushi Korogane] x Assassin!Experimented!Reader
Had this idea for a while, just rewatched Ass.Class and thought I’d write it. 100% SFW don’t worry lol (I don’t write a lot of NSFW)
Synopsis: You met the infamous Reaper on an assassination job. Things…happened from there.
—
This was his apartment. The infamous “Reaper”.
He’d taken out your client’s son, and his grandson had since gone missing.
Personally, you didn’t care much. So what? The snot-nosed kid probably saw his dad get taken out. He was either running and hiding or the Reaper had taken him out too.
What the Reaper did wasn’t really your business. He was an assassin. A professional. Your were the same. Money is Money, though. And with the amount this guy was paying you, there wasn’t really room to refuse.
No one really knew anything about the Reaper. But to you, that only made this job more exciting.
You were a pretty techy girl. A city’s security cameras and a few quick firewalls broken through and his info was yours. He wasn’t very tech savvy, not the way you were.
You were now the only individual in all of Japan who knew where he holed up between jobs. The place was rundown. People in the other rooms dealing and doing drugs had no effect on you. You’d seen worse, seen much more sketchy.
His apartment was on the 3rd floor. You were perched up on the building adjacent, across the street. His black out curtains were drawn, but that did little to hide the small boy peeking through. Probably the grandson, you thought. Your client had paid a decent amount of money, and had an extra couple thousand waiting if you brought him back safe and sound.
Something clicked behind you. The roof access door. Shit.
You swing around, reaching for the knife in your thigh holster. But he was quicker. In seconds your front side was pinned against the wall near your spot, your sniper was abandoned and your knife clattered against the floor. The right side of your face burned against the rough material of the wall, and your neck was tense from the harshness of the impact. You could see his face.
He held your hands behind your back, knee between your legs and his right hand holding a gun to your back.
“And who might you be, sweet cheeks?”
You gritted your teeth. Damn it.
The man chuckled.
“Y/N.” You responded. “And who in the hell are you?”
He smiled. “I have a feeling you know exactly who I am.”
…fuck. The Reaper.
“Listen, hon. You’re good. Nobody’s ever been able to find me out the way you did. Place is under an old targets name and… well, you probably know the rest.”
You did. His money was dirty, and he likely was using the boy inside as either a decoy. He was good.
“Who sent you?”
He dug the gun harder into your back, his index finger firm against the trigger.
You stayed silent.
“Fine, then.” He smile turned to a dark smirk. “I have no trouble turning to torture tactics. This area is pretty sketchy, so no one will question this.”
He moved the gun down, shooting you through the thigh. You groaned, stifling a scream. The gun was moved up to your back again.
“Tell me who sent you, and I won’t have to waste your pretty face.”
You sighed. “You killed my targets son. Took his grandkid. He didn’t tell me his name, paid me a fuckton to bring him your body.”
“Huh. Shoulda figured.”
He stepped back, letting go of you and scratching his head with the barrel of his gun. You moved quickly, snatching up your knife and shoving him to the ground. His gun clattered to the right and you held the knife against his throat.
“Listen. Personally, I don’t give a crap what you do or who your targets do. Honestly, you did some pretty good work with that guy. But this is a lot of money, and I need it.”
He didn’t even struggle. Just laughed.
“Oh, I like you, sweet cheeks. Listen, how’s about you come work for me instead? I’m no good with all that technology crap and I can do a whole lot more for you than that old rich guy can. Just fine me his info.”
You clenched your teeth again. “What’s in it for me?”
“Warm food on the table. Companionship. Better compensation from clients when word gets out you’re workin’ with the Reaper.”
You pulled the knife away after a moment. Fine. You’d play his game.
“L/N. Y/N L/N.”
You helped him up.
“Ryushi Korogane.”
—
You banged your fist against the glass. Damn it. This was supposed to be a quick job. In and out. You should’ve known. The compensation was suspiciously high, the target to insignificant. Ryushi knew it was fishy but you’d insisted. And now here you were. Rooms away from him and stuck in some glass holding space. An Experiment, you’d been told.
That’s all you were now. A test subject.
From what you could find out, Ryushi was undergoing the same “treatments” you were. Tentacle Serum injected into the back of your neck. It had been months now. Assholes.
You hadn’t seen him. After months you’d learned to love the goofy pervert, and you’d gotten engaged shortly before the little shit you’d learned to love betrayed you. They’d taken your ring, the necklace Ryushi had stood for you, and all your clothes. A white sweater and sweatpants adorned your now frail body. They gave you the bare minimum in the form of nutrients, and it did little to keep you steady these days.
Yukimura walked through the door.
“Y/N. Good to see you.” You didn’t quite trust her. The way she talked about Ryushi rubbed you the wrong way. You’d lived your whole life reading people and you could tell. She liked him.
“Yukimura. My food, please?”
“Listen.” She started, pushing the button to get you your stale food and bottled water. “They’re transferring you. A new facility. They need to separate you and the Korogane. The two of you are due to combust March 13.”
You dropped the water, head spinning. Spiked.
When you collapsed, alarms started ringing. A message came over the over-com. Ryushi was out.
That’s all you heard before the world went black.
—
You fast as you could up the mountain. He was here, you knew it. You’d found him. Class 3-E, Yukimura’s old class.
You’d escaped your facility days after the one you’d formerly been held captive was destroyed by Ryushi. After months, eight to be exact, you’d finally found him. The government officials weren’t hard to beat answers out of.
Your tentacles sprouted from your neck, pulling you faster.
All the color had been sucked from your body. You were an ugly gray color, your hair a lighter color of pale white. Your body hadn’t changed much physically, other than color and tentacles. You briefly wondered what had happened to him.
You stopped short. The class building.
It was Wednesday. Almost 10pm. Abandoned, except for him.
You panted. You didn’t have supersonic speed like he apparently had. You couldn’t smell like he could or see. But that was hardly an issue for you.
Something snapped behind you.
“Hey there, sweet cheeks.”
You spun around. It was him
“Ryushi.”
—
Might make a part two is someone asks for it. But for now, this is all :)
#koro sensei#assassination classroom#assassination classroom x reader#koro sensei x reader#assassination
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Unhallowed Heart - Chapter 3: 'An Alliance Beckons'
Dark Urge/Enver Gortash
Third chapter and we get a glimpse of Bhaal's Ecstasy of Murder as Durge Villi experiences it. So, time for some warnings: blood, violence, murder, implied sexual gratification, addiction, etc.
Word count: 1657
Full fic on AO3
___
One hour later.
The Bhaalspawn stalked through the dark streets, each footstep carrying him blessedly further away from Enver Gortash’s mansion. Villi’s shoulders were hunched beneath his cloak, tension radiating from him in palpable waves.
Ah. He spied a fat slug making its ponderous, slimy way across the damp cobbles in front of him. He diverted his path to crush it underfoot. Even gave his heel an extra half-twist to ensure it was smeared into paste.
More. He craved blood. He craved what would come after the blood.
Gods damn that man.
Gortash was clever. He was shrewd. He had played the part of simpering admirer with patience and skill and Villi had underestimated him completely.
This was all Sceleritas’s fault. It would be a bath of boiling oil for the Butler this time.
But later. Later.
For now, the Lower City called.
In its twisting rabbit warren of tight alleyways and switchback streets, Villi found his quarry soon enough.
A young woman was huddled in a doorway, dressed in rags, her face prematurely lined by hardship and worry. On her lap rested the head of a young boy no more than eight summers old, gently sleeping. The woman hummed a lullaby while brushing her calloused fingers through the child’s curls.
How sweet. How touching.
How tragic it would be, if either one lost the other.
The woman looked up when Villi stopped and tapped his cane in front of her. Her expression was wary.
‘I’m not offering anything you’re wanting,’ she said quietly. ‘Please sir, let us be.’
‘I’d like you to hold this for a moment for me,’ he said, tipping the cane towards her.
The wariness never left her eyes, but the woman did as she was bid. Her hand left the child’s hair and wrapped around the ebony shaft. Villi wondered if she thought she could use it as a weapon against him.
Like a striking snake, his hand darted forwards, grabbing the boy by the front of his shirt and tearing him out of his mother’s grasp.
She shrieked. ‘No! STOP! Let him go!’
The boy awoke with a shudder, eyes wide, legs kicking while Villi held him aloft. The woman, now standing, froze when Villi placed the edge of his dagger against the child’s cheek.
‘I’m begging you. I’M BEGGING YOU!’
Villi pressed harder. Soft skin split. The boy and his mother both screamed as his blood began to run.
‘I’ll do anything!’ The woman’s voice was raw, as if her throat was filled with splinters. She still held onto the cane, knuckles white, but she made no move to use it. The difference between prey and predator, Villi thought.
‘Would you take his place?’ he asked.
‘Yes, yes! Let him go, please let him go! Please, PLEASE!’
‘Did you hear that, child? Look at me.’ He gave the trembling wretch a sharp shake. ‘Your mother is going to die tonight, and it’s all your fault.’
The woman moaned and sobbed. The boy cried so hard that he retched.
It was horrible.
It was beautiful.
Villi set the child down, turned, and pulled the woman close. ‘Bhaal awaits thee, Bhaal embraces thee, none escape Bhaal,’ he whispered tenderly in her ear before burying his blade in the yielding expanse of her abdomen. She dropped the cane the third time he stabbed her. She died around the eighth or ninth.
When his arm began to grow tired, Villi stopped and let the body fall. Then, using her blood as paint, he daubed his Father’s symbol on the ground around it. He stepped back to admire his work, and noticed that the boy was still there, still staring at the lifeless ruined thing that was his mother only a short time ago. Good. Let the memory burn itself deep. Let the boy hate Villi every time he saw the scar on his face in his reflection. Let him fear the day Villi would come for him too.
Bhaal smiled on the scene. Villi’s breath hitched. He felt the veil of invisibility slip over his form, prickling his skin as he disappeared from view. He left the boy in the alleyway as he headed north, seeking a place where he could be alone.
A delicious warmth had started to pool low in his belly. Villi rounded a corner and gave thanks when he found himself in a small abandoned yard. While he might currently be invisible, he couldn’t always stay silent when his Father’s gift flooded his veins.
The murder had been well received. Villi pressed his shoulderblades against a wall and tipped his head back, sighing breathlessly as every nerve sparked alight. The steel cables of tension that wrapped his neck tight started to unwind, his cares and worries slipping away one-by-one.
It didn’t happen every time he made a kill. The secret ingredient was love. If he could shatter someone’s heart, break someone’s mind and spirit, bereave an entire community because he had chosen to end a beloved person’s life, then he got a little treat. It had to be deliberate, too. Harrowing. Depraved. Cutting down an enemy on the battlefield didn’t count, regardless of how many orphans he made that way.
His body thrummed in pleasure.
‘Oh, fuck.’ His back arched, swept up in a climax of mind-numbing bliss. An escape, a release.
And Villi was addicted.
Afterwards he felt hollow and sluggish, but at least his mind was now calm. He could consider the alliance Gortash had offered over dinner.
Essentially, Gortash had figured out that the Bhaalists in Baldur’s Gate were rapidly running out of gold. Their influence was dwindling. They were at risk of becoming nothing more than stories parents used to scare their naughty offspring.
Villi knew his followers were feral. There was the sense that his arrival in the temple heralded the end times. He was the armageddon-watcher, made by Bhaal to be the last soul alive. Which meant that no-one seemed to be too concerned with keeping the books balanced. They simply murdered everyone in sight.
Over a main course of venison served with crushed swede flavoured with caraway, Gortash made this point; if they couldn’t source enough gold to raise the army needed to bring about the end times, how would it ever come about?
Villi felt seen. He had argued the same point at the pulpit countless times, but it always seemed to fall on deaf ears. Or worse, scheming ears. There were whispers that the Son of Bhaal cared more about coin than bringing death to the world.
‘But we need it!’
‘But you need it!’
Villi and Gortash had made the exclamation at the same time. As if they were in sync.
Just as Villi was starting to feel the stirrings of what could be a real connection for the first time in his existence, Gortash went and ruined it all by revealing that he was a devotee of Bane, the God of Tyranny. Bhaal’s sworn enemy.
Villi had stormed out before dessert had arrived.
The invisibility enchantment shivered away.
‘Hells,’ he muttered. He had just realised that he’d left his cane in the alley with the boy and his dead mother. If he went back to get it and the child was still there, he’d ruin the scene.
There was a ‘pop’. The stink of burned eggs. Sceleritas.
‘I believe you dropped this, Master,’ Sceleritas said, handing him the missing cane. The fiend took in the blood that covered Villi from his hair to his shoes. ‘I take it you’ve had a good night?’
‘Not really,’ Villi said. ‘I left dinner early. I was going to boil you for suggesting that I go in the first place.’
‘A wonderful idea! I shall get the fires stoked–’
‘I don’t have the energy. Did you know that Gortash is a Banite?’
‘You don’t say.’
‘Sceleritas. Did you know?’
‘Who is to say what is known and what is not…?’
‘So you knew.’
‘Yes.’
‘K’roklig.’ Villi groaned. ‘I don’t know what to do. Gortash knows we’re up to our tits in shit and he–’
Sceleritas cleared his throat. ‘Ahem.’
‘He can help us. With enough funding we could raise an army of Deathdealers and Unholy Assassins, but Gortash asks for an alliance in return. A sworn pact that we will do him no harm. If I decline the temple could collapse, literally and figuratively. I’ll fail my Father and we’ll fade into history. If I accept, am I betraying Him? Will He forsake me?’
‘Your Father sees what is in your dear, puckered heart. You don’t seek this alliance to defy Bhaal, you seek it to glorify Him. He will see. He will know,’ Sceleritas said, patting Villi’s bloodsoaked arm. ‘Trust your Butler. The plan hasn’t changed. It’s true, the Banite knows more about our current challenges than we would like, and the terms are steeper than we thought before. I still see no reason why you can’t go along with it - for now.’
After a few moments of thought, Villi nodded. ‘You’re right. I pray my Father will understand. When we’ve amassed enough power I’ll end Gortash myself. No pact can hold me forever.’
‘Exactly, my Liege. Your destiny dictates that no soul can be left alive. This alliance will be worth less than the rags I use to clean the brain matter from your boots. You’ll just have to play the part, for a while. Your suffering will bring glory to us all.’
‘Then it’s settled. I’ll send word to Gortash on the ‘morrow,’ Villi said. ‘Come, let’s head back to the temple. I’ve got a deep gnome’s forearm in the beetle tank, it should be clean by now. Would you like to assist me with the wiring? I was envisioning a new book holder for my study.’
Sceleritas looked up at him in rapture. ‘Oh, Master!’
‘I’ll boil you afterwards.’
‘You are too kind to old Sceleritas, Master. Too kind!’
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 fanfic#bg3 fanfiction#durgetash#durge#custom durge#the dark urge#sceleritas fel
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𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐞
❝Not a side or a main, I’m the only bitch he entertains. ❞
❝All my battles have been won but the war has just begun. ❞
❝The city looks so pretty, do you wanna burn it with me? ❞
❝As in heaven as on earth, we’ve been dead since our birth. ❞
❝Thank God I ain’t have to smack a bitch today. ❞
❝If I see you in the street, bitch, your ass is done. ❞
❝I don’t need your opinion, I do what I fuckin’ want. ❞
❝If he don’t eat it, he a d-bag. ❞
❝I’m killing myself when bitches would kill to be me. ❞
❝He keep calling, I ignore it. he says I’m crazy. Don’t I know it? ❞
❝I’d rather just do it then I’ll think about it later. ❞
❝I never learn my lesson, so I always do it twice. ❞
❝Say something once, why say it again? ❞
❝Cut deep and I’m still alive, I’ll talk my shit ‘til the day I die. ❞
❝They won’t fix it, they ain’t with ya. They won’t muzzle the mouth that just bit ya. ❞
❝Might show up to the party with a blunt — might get stoned, might get drunk. ❞
❝Walking passed the mirror like, ooh, damn, I’m fine. ❞
❝Haunted house, I make him scream. ❞
❝Bonafide hustler making my name. ❞
❝No one on the corner has swagger like us. ❞
❝We pack and deliver like UPS trucks. ❞
❝I got a basket full of lemons and they all taste the same. ❞
❝You can spend your whole life working for something just to have it taken away.❞
❝I don’t know why I say the things that I say, but I say them anyway. ❞
❝Keep on building prisons, gonna fill them all. Keep on building bombs, gonna drop them all. ❞
❝Chaos and commotion wherever I go. ❞
❝Tonight, I’m gonna let the Devil in. ❞
❝It’s my party, and I’ll fuck who I want. ❞
❝Who are you to change this world, silly boy? ❞
❝I’m a gangster, but I’m such a fuckin’ lady. ❞
❝First to watch my story but don’t like me? Weird. ❞
❝Never mind what I had to do to get these diamonds. ❞
❝These bitches wanna judge me but I don’t care. ❞
❝Only want a love where the card never declines. ❞
❝My baby is my employer. ❞
❝No, I don’t want your number. No, I don’t want to give you mine. ❞
❝Sun goes down, another dreamless night… you’re right by my side. ❞
❝You say go fast, I say hold on tight. ❞
❝Got you so obsessed, it’s sickening. ❞
❝You know I might break your heart, just let it slide. ❞
❝Could hurt you really bad, take everything. ❞
❝I let you try it, now you want to buy it, but you know my price is going up. ❞
❝So what if I’m toxic? ❞
❝Yes, sir, I’m’a do it again. I’m fucking him, her, probably they and them. ❞
❝I know you’re wondering what I’m gonna say, I do, too. ❞
❝My mind always wonders what will I say? I wish I knew… ❞
❝I love myself, I wanna see it. ❞
❝I’ma do just what I like on the regular. ❞
❝It’s really not my fault if you’re scared of a sweet little unforgettable thing. ❞
❝No, I’m not sorry. I’m just loving my body. ❞
❝You know I don’t give a motherfuck about your last name. ❞
❝Has someone like me ever existed? ❞
❝I can’t help it, I just woke up like this. ❞
❝Nightmare dream girl, I am what your type is. ❞
❝When I go into that ground, I won’t go quietly. ❞
❝I got troubles, they won’t let me be. ❞
❝I’ve been on the run since I was a boy. ❞
❝I’ve got troubles of more than one kind. ❞
❝If I had a dick, you’d probably lick it like a lollipop. ❞
❝Bitches say they fuckin’ with me, chances are they’re probably not. ❞
❝If he had a twin, I would let them run a train. ❞
❝I swear I feel like a toilet bowl shitting on everything I’ve said or I’ve done. ❞
❝Thanks for the talk, are we done? ❞
❝I’m over wasting time in life trying to be something I’m not. ❞
❝Do you ever feel like you’re underwater, drowning inside? ❞
❝I’m not gonna hang my head and be another accident. ❞
❝I’ve given up our romance. I have nothing left for love. ❞
❝I’m not sick, but I’m not well. ❞
❝Fingertips like memories, I can’t forget the curves of your body. ❞
❝Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding. ❞
❝I don’t even have a TV. ❞
❝Put me in the hospital for nerves and then they had to commit me. ❞
❝It’s a sin to live so well. ❞
❝I’d like to turn off time and kill my mind. ❞
❝Hear the voices in my head, I swear to god it sounds like they’re snoring. ❞
❝If you’re bored then you’re boring. ❞
❝The agony and irony, they’re killing me. ❞
❝She says she loves me at dusk, but at dawn I pack up my things and I’m gone. ❞
❝Never been a perfect soul but I will not apologize. ❞
❝I did a lot wrong that I can’t make right. ❞
❝That face, baby, it ain’t fair. ❞
❝I eat boys like you for breakfast. ❞
❝I never said it’s right, but I’m gonna keep doing it. ❞
❝I’m sick and, honestly? I’m getting high off it. ❞
❝We don’t deal with outsiders very well. ❞
❝They can smell the intention on you. ❞
❝They call me an American horror show. ❞
❝What I gotta do to find a sub or a dom to choke me? ❞
❝I could be your little monster. ❞
❝I like when you piss me off, it usually means the sex is rough. ❞
❝I am the big idea. ❞
❝If you got a problem, better speak up. ❞
❝My generation’s had enough, and you should be afraid. ❞
❝I like my coffee black just like my metal. ❞
❝I can’t wait for you to shut me up. ❞
❝I’m friends with all my demons. ❞
❝I’m the definition of the worst kind of mean. ❞
❝I will not die in the night but in the light of the sun with the ashes of this world in my lungs. ❞
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