#and when i say slowburn i mean 30+ years before they get together
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DP x DC Prompt #60
Alfred does not fear death. He knows what awaits on the other side, so why should he fear it? After all, he's been married to a being of death for a long time.
#finemeal prompt#dp x dc#alfred pennyworth#danny fenton#danny fenton/alfred pennyworth#danny/alfred#i think they'd be cute together#what you disagree?#that's fine#just know i have been plotting a slowburn danny/alfred for a long time#and i'm still plotting it#and when i say slowburn i mean 30+ years before they get together#y'all won't be ready for that#anyway#here's a prompt in the meantime#just for them <3
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Ahhhh so I have to admit I have been working on something, it's a very big project for me.
It's 30 000 words long as of now, and I estimate to be about 1/2 - 2/3 of the way through the story. I'm super excited about it, however I don't want to get to a point where I'm almost done and don't finish, which is why I am writing it so much.
I want everyone in the kyalin Fandom to be right there with me when it's ready. So I'm going to do my best to finish it before I start posting.
How would I describe it???
A Kyalin mystery slowburn
Here's a snippet from Chapter 3 (spoilers ahead)
“Here,” Tenzin said, passing Lin a notice.
“So secretive,” Kya joked, pretending to lean over.
“It's not that secret,” Tenzin said, “two more came forward getting letters, bringing the total to-”
“Forty-nine.” Lin finished. The names added to the list weren't familiar to her. An Earth Republic mayor, and a fire nation general. “Something tells me there's one more out there,” Lin said.
“You think? An even 50?”
“Stopping at forty-nine would be good thinking on their end,” Kya said, “I mean, it would have everyone worried over the 50th letter, which doesn't exist.” She elaborated.
Lin raised an eyebrow, shrugging it off.
“What are the odds they get out anyway?” Kya asked.
“You mean the dirt?” Lin clarified.
“Yeah. Are the threats… real? Do you think they actually know something, or is it… broad enough to make yo- people think they did something.”
“Well we've bounced around that idea for a while,” Lin said, “but I think the general consensus was that… they were a little too close for comfort.” She looked to Tenzin, whose harrowing eyes reflected the anxieties of her own.
Her own letter bounced around in the back of brain, waiting to be unpacked. She had divulged so much into dealing with the case, and worrying about Suyin, she hadn't put much thought into how she would deal with the information revealed by her letter.
What she would do.
What she would say.
She didn't inherently think she had anything to be ashamed of, but there were plenty others who wouldn't see it that way.
It would be career ending, perhaps enough to chase her out of town in search of a fresh start.
If Suyin was still alive, Zaofu could make for a nice retirement place.
“Excuse me for a moment,” she said, getting up. She made for the bathroom down the hall, but instead opened the window at the end of the hall.
Delicately, and with precision, even in her wine-induced stupor, she climbed outside, hanging onto the ledge.
She'd done it a thousand times in her teen years. Scaling the air temple had been a right of passage, and a necessity, when she was with Tenzin.
It was second nature to her as she hauled herself to the upper floor.
Luckily, the window wasn't locked and she got back inside with ease.
She walked quietly down the hall, praying she didn't wake the kids. It was as she remembered. Almost nothing had changed, and a strange wave of deja vu overcame her.
It ended when she entered the left door, and not the right.
Kya's room was one she hadn't been in much, especially as she got older. It looked as she had envisioned. It was tasteful and colorful. Lin envied her ability to pick out pictures and tapestries of varied colors, still managing to make them go together.
First she checked the nightstand, which had a lot of interesting things, but nothing she was looking for.
She checked the duffle bag on the chair, nothing but clothes and towels.
She sighed, looking around.
She noticed the bed was lifted slightly off the floor. Tenzin used to keep… stuff under his bed.
Perhaps these airhead all thought alike.
She got on her knees before laying herself gently onto her stomach.
She outstretched an arm under the bed, feeling around until her palm landed on a box.
She pulled it out, and allowed herself to stand up before setting it on the bed and opening it.
The unmistakable waxy green seal.
The inky handwriting on the back with a clear name designation.
The clear indication that it had been open and removed multiple times.
She held it in her hand, her fingers frozen.
Fifty
#legend of korra#kyalin#korrasami#atla#lok#lin x kya#tenzin#pema#korra#asami#mako and lin#bolin x opal#post cannon#kuvira#should i hide a secret in the tags#mystery
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SUGAR SUGAR | LF
Teamed up for the annual Bake-Offs, your ex-boyfriend Felix and you have to work together to win while rediscovering your past love for each other.
PAIRING: Felix x Reader, slight Chan x reader (do i even know how to not add some sort of love triangle for skz lmao)
CONTENT/WARNING(S): angst, fluff, slowburn, baker!exboyfriend!manager!Felix, baker!reader, lowkey mean felix, conest!au, bakery!au (cameos of baker!Minho, baker!Han, baker!Jeongin, baker!Changbin, announcers!Hyunjin, announcer!Chan, announcer!Yeji, storage-manager!Seungmin)
WORD COUNT: 23.7k+
RATING: pg13
A/N: here it is! my longest fic ever 😩 thank you to my betas @heejojo, @masterninjacow and @dreamwrld(@xgrhee) for helping me out with this so much, im literally so thankful to you guys 🥺💜 anywho, i hope you all enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it! please leave rbs/comments of your thoughts, they make my day! i hope you have a great day, night, month, year, and life! stay safe, happy, and healthy <3
DAMN IT I POSTED IT 1 HR AND 30 MIN LATE--
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“We should break up, he said, no hard feelings, he said,” you mumble, sweeping under yet another table. “We'll still get along great…! That lying son of a gun.”
You dust off your hands, propping the broom in its corner and quickly vacuuming the collected dust and trash. Cracking your back, you groan and straighten up. Maybe now you could catch a break…
“Oh, you're done. I need you to mix three medium-sized bowls of batter for red velvet cake,” the freckled boy instructs, catching you off guard. He doesn't look at you and turns away when you give him a tired look. “Hurry up, you have to whip some cream for Mina after.”
With a roll of your eyes, you silently trudge past him, purposely bumping against his shoulder.
You loved baking, it was your favorite hobby, and lucky for you, your job too. Much to your dismay, your ex-boyfriend was also your boss, which wouldn't have been a problem had he not been on a power trip—you as his target.
You two had a great three years, the two of you sharing countless memories, the good ones outweighed the bad. Some would even say your relationship was too good to be true, two bakers who fell in love during school, worked together, and had a pleasantly smooth ride.
But during the last couple of months, the two of you had been drifting apart. There wasn't a particular reason you could pinpoint, besides simply being too busy for each other and too tired once there was time. Not to mention the rumors floating around the bakery, some about Felix and the recruit, others about you two breaking things off. It was all too stressful.
It was the first day off the two of you had in weeks, you cuddled up to his side as you drifted off slowly to the quiet humming of your TV in front of the couch in your shared apartment. You were filled with peace and comfort.
Until he said it, “[Y/N], I think we should break up.”
It'd been shocking, and you couldn't count on your fingers and toes how many times you'd cried after coming to a (not so) mutual decision that it wasn't working out anymore. You'd wanted him to stay and hold you, say it was all a joke; instead, he began packing immediately, giving you a final kiss on your forehead before disappearing out your door.
Cursing yourself for having ever fallen for and crying over Felix, you growl at the memory. Since that day seven months ago, he'd denied your overtime pay, made you work double shifts, and given you the crappiest jobs in the bakery a chef could do. You couldn't even understand why, considering he'd been the one to break up with you.
Feeling dampness sprinkle your face, you realize you were mixing much too aggressively, moving to the last bowl of ingredients and trying your best not to glare at his honey brown hair. How could he treat you like this after loving you for so long? Unless it hadn't been love at all, and you'd been utterly blinded by your feelings—
You cut off your thoughts, huffing. Placing the stirred bowls on the counter for Felix, you shuffle to Mina. She was the recruit that had been involved with the early rumors surrounding Felix, his supposed “secret girlfriend” on the side. The rumors hadn't been true—you knew that much—but he still had you run errands for her, just to mess with you.
“How much do you want me to make?” You glare, gesturing to the whipping cream beside the pretty (pretty annoying) barista. If she had a nicer personality, she'd be a great catch.
She rolls her eyes. “Enough for me to make two dozen cups with freshly whipped cream… Like usual.” She scoffs quietly at your growl. The worst part was that she didn’t even like Felix, the two of them just enjoyed taunting you.
Biting your lip, you resist the urge to growl, and begin the whipping, muttering to yourself angrily. You couldn't care less who Felix favored or dated, however, hand-whipping cream was just embarrassing. You take a deep breath, deciding your health was more important than being angry at an annoying coworker and your ex.
After all, it wasn't like this behavior was going to stop anytime soon.
Felix hurriedly steals the cream from you, handing them over to Mina, then pointing you in the direction of the overflowing sink. You wish you could rip his hair out, because you already washed the dishes today, and you were not up for the second round of eggshells and flour stuck to plates.
Glaring at the baker, you shake your head. “No.”
Surprised at your sudden defiance, Felix raises his eyebrows at you. He knew he was being unfair, and you didn't want to do any of these jobs, except he was your boss, and you weren't one to disobey authority, “No?”
“I'm not doing the dishes a second time today. Get someone else to do it. Mina’s been on her phone for the past forty minutes, why can't she?” You barely stop yourself from sticking your tongue out at her when she smirks at you, continuing to click away on her new phone, which she bought with overtime pay you deserved.
“You are doing the dishes, because it's your job, and you don't want to lose it, right?” He crosses his arms as if to challenge you.
Your eyes widen in shock. Did he just threaten to fire you? He'd never done that before, and that was because you were a valuable baker and barista, but the look in his eyes let you know he wasn't joking. He was dead serious.
Slumping your shoulders, you bite back tears. This wasn't fair. You didn't deserve this kind of treatment because you two broke up. Everyone knew it wasn't your idea, and you clearly remembered Felix suggesting it in the first place. What happened?
You sniffle quietly, turning on the faucet and grabbing the sponge, scrubbing down the first dish.
——
Propping his feet up on his desk, Felix sighs. He knew deep down that he was being unreasonable to you, and he knew he couldn't continue this kind of behavior for much longer, or someone would end up turning in a complaint or two.
Still, he was the highest-ranking person at the bakery, and he doubted anyone other than yourself paid any attention to how much work he gave you. He peeks through his blinds, watching you scrub the dishes angrily, leaning against the counter in anger. Rolling his eyes, he knocks on his window, your confused eyes meeting his tired, annoyed ones and quickly hardening.
It isn’t until he hears a crash from the kitchen that he leaves his quarters, strutting out to find you and Mina face to face and a broken mug between the two of you. He takes in your appearance, shirt slightly damp with what he assumes is coffee from the strong smell and sepia color staining your clothes and the floor. Then he looks at Mina, her shirt drenched in the liquid and a deadly look in her eyes as she glared at you.
He feels his stress rise, crossing his arms tightly, his deep voice rumbling out angrily, “What…” he steps closer, “Did…” his voice dropping an octave, “You…” his face hovering over yours intimidatingly, “Do?”
Eyes wide, your jaw drops. He just got here, and he thought this was your fault? Just when you thought Lee Felix couldn’t get any more unreasonable, you’re proven wrong. “You think I did this? She ran into me with her cup—”
“Y’know what? I don’t care for an explanation. Get Mina another shirt and clean the floor now, okay?” sighing tiredly, ready to walk away from the situation when he hears you growl.
Clenching your fists, you glower at him. “No, she made the mess, she should get me a change of clothes and clean the floor,” your voice stern and face hard. You were not going to keep putting up with his crap.
The entire room goes silent, the surrounding employees drooping their heads and staying so incredibly still and quiet you can hear everyone's breath. Your hands are sweating and you can feel your knees struggling to stay straight against his steely gaze.
“Y’know what? Don't clean it.” He smiles menacingly, leaning down to your eye level. “From now on, we're no longer on the same team. You're not a baker or barista anymore, no, now you'll be under Seungmin’s managing.”
Seungmin was the strict but kind head of ordering for the bakery, and while the two of you got along, ordering the baking supplies was not what you wanted to be doing. You wanted to be a baker, even a barista, but not a supply worker. You needed to be in the kitchen—it was the reason you had started this job in the first place. “You’re not serious.”
He pulls a stern expression, “Yes, I am.” His once bright and playful eyes now dark and intimidating. He lifts his head, a stressed sigh leaving his lips before he continues, “Shows over, back to work.” and clapping everyone back into their positions. He points to you. “Give me your apron and go see Seungmin.”
Your eyes tear up a bit, untying your black apron and shoving it aggressively in his awaiting hand. Gritting your teeth, you scowl at him through your blurry vision, and stomp off. Seungmin was confused to see you in his department, crying and all, but he gave you enough simple work to keep your thoughts busy for the time being.
Felix was so sweet and kind when you were dating, what had happened?
——
“What were you thinking, Felix?” Seungmin scolds the chestnut-head, pinching his nose. “[Y/N] is one of our best bakers, you can’t transfer her. We’ve literally had people specifically ask for her to bake for them. I’m sorry, but she has to compete in the Bake-Offs, and she has to work in this department.”
Felix rolls his eyes, “We can manage without her. We have Minho, I’m still the best baker in the establishment, and the others do well enough,” a growl in his deep voice at the thought of Seungmin picking your side over his. “And she’s been incompetent lately anyway.”
Seungmin shakes his head. “Firstly, we can’t train anyone else to her level by tomorrow. And secondly, you’ve been unreasonable ever since the two of you broke up. Which, if I recall correctly, was your idea,” he stops for a second, “Why did you two break up anyway? You were the perfect couple.”
Felix shuts his eyes, breathing in deeply through his nose. “It might’ve seemed that way, but things weren’t as smooth as they used to be,” his voice growing thick in his throat.
“So things got hard and you ran away?” the younger presses on, arms crossed and lips pursed.
The baker glares. “Shut up Seungmin, you don’t get to judge my decisions.” He grits his teeth. When put like that, Felix feels like the bad guy—but Seungmin knows nothing of your relationship outside of work. He didn’t know how you functioned alone. “I’ll let her compete with us, but she’s not transferring back here.”
“Fine.”
“[Y/N]!” a voice booms the moment you enter the Cafékery, Jeongin racing to you happily, “Thank goodness you’re here! Mina’s sick and Sungjoon’s running late!” You stare quizzically at him, confused as to what that had to do with you. Jeongin’s head tilts. “Don’t you know what today is?”
You scratch your head, puckering your lips and shaking your head. “No…?”
The young baker sighs, “It’s the first day of the Bake-Offs. Y’know, like it is every year?”
Your eyes widen in realization, because you had been planning for this a week prior, and somehow you managed to completely forget about it. Smacking your head, you snap your gaze to Jeongin. “Wait, what does that have to do with me? I’m not even a baker anymore…” you trail off, your eyes saddening at the reminder.
Jeongin cocks his head to the side, “What do you mean? Your name’s on the list and they've been waiting for you for thirty minutes. Even Felix is waiting for you.”
Your ears perk at that, confusion and excitement flooding your veins at the same time. You were going to participate in the Bake-Offs, your favorite event of the year—not counting holidays—and you may have kept your position as a baker. The thought brings a small smile to your lips, and you quickly make your way over to the small crowd of bakers.
Minho greets you, “You made it! Thank goodness, please tell Cookie Crumbs over there to chill out,” jabbing his thumb in the direction of Felix.
You chuckle at the nickname, pulling Felix’s attention from Seungmin and directing it to you, a scowl on his lips that almost makes you want to shrink. You see Seungmin whisper something to him, making him roll his eyes as he approaches you. “So, we need you to fill in for some bakers today. Are you in?”
His words are casual and had they been said by someone who wasn't currently out to get you, they would've come across as calm. But since this is Felix, he growls them at you, a slight mumble in his words from his grit teeth. Put off by his still negative attitude—seriously, what could you have possibly done—you decide to irk him. “I don't know, you don't seem to want me up here…”
He glares at you, putting on his sickly fake calm expression, “[Y/N], would you forgive me for yesterday's events and help us with the Bake-offs?” His tone drips with passive aggression, and you're almost surprised how fake it sounds.
You agree, sighing because he didn't look in the mood for your antics, and you weren't up for his anger or outbursts. “Yeah, fine.”
He smiles dangerously at you. “Thank you.” The words somehow manage to sound mean, sarcastic, and even a bit genuine all at the same time. It’s startling to know that this stranger was once your “one and only”. You wish you could smack young you and convince her to never allow Lee Felix and his perfect freckled cheeks, beautiful smile, and round, big eyes into her heart.
You all hop into the Cafékery’s food macaroon yellow truck—or as the side read, “Yellow Wood on Wheels!”—and your delivery Priuses, packed in with baking supplies (not including ingredients), attire, and whatever else you might need, driving off to the park that held the annual event. The perfectly trimmed bushes surround the park in a maze fashion. The tables get set up in a uniform fashion, all facing the stage, with an outdoor oven, sink, fridge and freezer about six feet behind it. The sun’s not too hot, but you’d be lying if you said it was enjoyably hot.
Seeing the lineup, your favorite competitors smiling from their booths, you felt the nostalgia of when you and Felix were together. Quickly, you shake it off, not wanting to feed into the feeling and give it power. You couldn’t fall back in love with Felix—not that you ever really fell out.
And within ten more minutes of preparation, the competition was on.
“Nice to see you all here today! We’ve got some fresh meat—or, batter, I guess—including Knead to Know Bread, Flour Bakery & Café, and Hole in One Doughnuts, along with some past champions! I’m looking at you Yellow Wood and Sweet Revenge!” From the stage, the announcer, Hyunjin, smiles at you with a friendly glint, his voice animated perfectly for his job, just the right amount of theatrics and humor, “To kick off the event, we’re starting today with “Signature Dishes”! In other words, you may bake anything from your bakery’s “Signature” or Specialty” menu to wow the judges, one of which will be me!”
“You all have an hour and a half to bake something that’ll knock our socks off! Begin with the buzzer in three… two… one! Go!” The buzzer sounds and everyone is running towards the shelves stocked with the most popular baking necessities and the rarest finds in this field.
You try to avoid bumping into anyone—especially Felix—as you dart between your baking table and the ingredients racks, taking generous amounts of whatever you can get your hands on. A pound of flour, a half-pound of sugar, a bag of baking powder, a small bowl of baking salt, unsalted and softened butter, cocoa powder, vanilla extract, brown sugar, a dozen eggs, a cup of chocolate chips, and tartar. Your eyes light up at the sight, the perfect three dishes popping into your mind as you get to planning. One Minho-original sponge cake, a tray of Felix’s signature brownies, and your famous chocolate chip cookies. Oh, you had this round in the bag!
Notepad in hand, you rush over to Felix, hurriedly trying to cut into his conversation, “Hey Captain! I’ve got a plan,” the words draw his attention immediately, and he has no argument against your brilliant baking skills. All the ingredients were there, and you had just enough time to get everything done, make it look gorgeous, and maybe even throw in a little extra if you wanted. “Perfect, right? If I could just get Jeongin’s assistance, I’ll be good to go!”
Felix hums in agreement, the competition bringing out his more reasonable side as he sends the boy over to you, trying to fight the happiness that bubbles in his heart when you gleam at his positive reaction. He calls Minho over quickly, his lips moving miles per second, nodding with the older when they come to an understanding, “Han, I need you to assist Minho. Changbin, you’re with me.”
They all give him some variation of a salute, following his orders confidently without question. Felix may have been a pain since your breakup, but if there was one thing he didn’t allow his emotions to affect, it was winning this competition… or baking. One of the two.
Making your cookies was one of the things you loved most. Something about mixing your original dough, baking it to perfection, and being able to call it yours made you feel beyond important. You could practically feel the dopamine dripping, your hands whisking the eggs violently, only to realize you forgot the mixing technique Felix had taught you back when you first started working at Yellow Wood. Letting out a stressed breath, you decide it’s best to get it over with and head over to ask him.
He’s sweaty, honey skin glistening under the sun as he awaits his melting butter patiently. You assume it’s all the whisking he’s done, both he and Changbin shiny while they hover around the outdoor oven and stove.
Heart beating rapidly, you almost feel nervous to approach him, your cheeks flushing lightly when his head turns to you. “Hey, I forgot that mixing technique you showed me, mind giving me a refresher?” your voice strained and somewhere between giddy and irritated.
He rolls his eyes, coming behind you to re-teach you the technique you’d mastered after seeing it done twice originally. His lean arms encase your own, his chest to your back, while he takes your hands and guides one to mix aggressively, and holds the other in place sturdily. It’s nostalgic, the way he holds you, firm yet gentle, just like he used to. Your heart jumps into your throat, and you try your best to ignore his breathing against your cheek, reminding you of mornings when the two of you would bake gourmet breakfasts together just for the fun of it.
“Okay, I think I’ve got it…” your voice fades away, catching in your throat the moment you turn, coming face to face with Felix, your noses almost touching. His hands stop guiding yours, and you can feel his breath hitch, eyes trained between your eyes and too-close-for-comfort lips. You seal your ajar lips, breaking eye contact and clearing your dry throat, “Um...”
He steps back abruptly, keeping his semi-aggressive stare beside you, careful not to look at you. Quietly, he apologizes, stepping away and continuing his own baking project. He has to calm his own heart as he turns his back to you, an uncomfortable flit settling in his stomach.
Ninety minutes later, you’ve all managed to complete your deserts, plating them to perfection and ready to present. “So, what do you have for us, Mr. Lee Felix of Yellow Wood Cafékery?” Hyunjin interrogates, a wide, handsome smile on his features as he observes the three platters in front of him.
Happy to present three of the Bakery’s best-selling items, Felix grins, his smile genuine and warm. “Today we’ve baked three signature dishes, one from each of our top three bakers. I present you with my signature brownies, Minho’s locally famous sponge cake, and [Y/N]’s delightful chocolate chip cookies!” Finishing with an expectant smile when Hyunjin takes a cut of his brownies, a slice of Minho’s cake, and sticks one of your chewy chocolate chip cookies into his mouth. “We hope you enjoy every bite.”
“Mph!” Another judge, Chan, exclaims as he takes another bite from Minho’s cake. “This is a winner!”
You nudge Minho in congratulations, him flashing you a sheepish grin in return.
Hyunjin agrees, humming in delight at your cookie, “First place, hands down!” Moving onto the third bakery’s dishes, downing yours happily.
You watch the other judges taste your work and their reactions, high-fiving each other when another judge leans over to whisper to you three that you “had her vote”. All three of you turn to each other with content looks, confident with this round’s results.
“Success is assured,” you all laugh at Minho’s robotic impression.
It’s only when Felix’s happy stare finds your own that your mood drops, both of your smiles faltering as you high-five, your palms lingering a little longer than necessary. You chuckle awkwardly as you pull your hand back, his warmth engraved into your hand where it had touched. He coughs awkwardly, bringing his fist to his restless heart, willing it to relax whilst glaring at you. It was just a memory of the love he’d once held for you.
“First place, Yellow Wood!” You all cheer, Jisung “whooping” and Jeongin doing his famous “dolphin scream” loudly.
“Second place, Hole in One Doughnuts!”
“In third, Sweet Revenge!”
“In fourth, we have Knead to Know Bread!”
“And in fifth, Flour Bakery & Café!” The judges announce one by one, Hyunjin keeping his mic at his mouth while the other four drop theirs to their sides, “Our last two places will participate in a face-off elimination match, where they will each chose a signature dish from the other bakery’s specialty menu to the best of their abilities and hope they either pleasantly surprise our judges, or that the other bakery underperforms!”
You’re even more grateful for being in the top spot when you hear the elimination challenge. Yeah, you may have been an outstanding baker, but you were no Gordon Ramsey and you took time to learn other’s recipes.
“Those who managed to place in the top three may pack it up for the day and return tomorrow!” Chan grins, his Aussie accent peeking through his Korean pronunciation. The slight slip up makes you bite your lip, eyes downcast, when you remember how Felix would do the same when you two had dated. These days, you were almost sure he never messed up—though you didn’t have much to go on due to your lack of communication.
Clearing his throat, Felix’s deep voice cutting through the air, “All right, great job everyone! Let’s pack it up and do it all over tomorrow,” He said, hiding his chuckle when the staff groans.
Assuming the bakers were off the hook for their hard work, Minho invites you to relax with Han and himself. You’re about to accept when a small hand grasps your shoulder, and you’re met with an icy glare you’re sure you don’t deserve. “Yes, Felix?”
“Where do you think you’re going?” He lifts his right brow, eyes dark and stern as they bore into yours. “You have to clean up with the rest of the crew,” his tone dripping with that malice reserved for you. Seriously, you wondered how he managed to stay so angry at you for absolutely nothing.
Your jaw drops and you search his face for any sign that he’s joking. Sadly, he’s entirely serious. You frown. “But I was a baker today… I even came up with a plan—a plan that made us win first place!” you argue, unwilling to give up without a fight.
“You did, but I’m still pissed at you for yesterday. Get out of your apron and get to cleaning,” he orders, leaving no room for debate. Something in him is pissed about how you’d made him revisit those old, mushy feelings he’d shoved down when he broke up with you.
As he turns away, you growl, mumbling a curse at him, and untie your apron. No matter how unfair Felix was, he was your superior, meaning you didn’t have a say—at least not one as important as his—and you were obligated to obey his orders as long as you were on the clock. “Damn you, Felix.”
You finish packing away the last of the supplies, thankful for Changbin and his strong arms, who’d decided to hang back and help you out. All that’s left is for you to load it into the truck, which would’ve been easy, had Felix not chased your muscle away after he’d caught him helping you. You groan, straining your free arm and leg muscles to carry the heavy box into the truck’s trunk, almost collapsing before you’ve even made it halfway there, spilling the plates and whisks over the park’s brick-patterned pavement. “Damn Felix, always giving me more work than I should have. He doesn’t even have a reason to be mad! He broke up with me!” Scowling as you recollect the supplies grumpily.
Your loud complaining draws a chortle or two from beside you, Chan holding his fist to his mouth to cover his amused smile.
Flustered, you drop your box—the same box—accidentally in embarrassment. “Can I help you?” Your voice unconfident and your face aflame. You’d just argued about your ex, out loud and imaginary, unaware of the judge who’d heard it all. “Chan, right?”
The ginger nods, his prominent dimples showing in his big smile, “Yep! And you’re [Y/N], right?” his smile widens impossibly when you nod, “I was wondering if you’d like me to help you finish up around here?” Of course, you tell him yes, thanking him over and over and complimenting his strength repeatedly.
“Thank you so much! I don’t know what I would’ve done without you and all your buff-ness.” You were partly joking but mostly serious because everyone knew you did not wield that type of strength in either your upper or lower body. “Seriously, you’re a lifesaver!”
He laughs, loading the last box into the truck and rolling down the door. “So, what’re you doing packing all this up on your own? I mean, the elimination round is already over and almost all of your team has left already, and you’re a baker. I would’ve thought you’d be home by now,” he finishes, curiosity in his slight accent.
You sigh, visibly deflating. “So you know Felix, right?” You wait for him to nod, urging you to continue. “He’s my annoying, jerk boss… and my ex-boyfriend.”
“Oh…” Chan cringes, understanding immediately.
“You know what the worst part is? I didn’t even break up with him! He broke up with me!” your hands flailing in the air to add to your dramatics. Chan’s eyes show confusion, and you nod as to say, “I know right?” making him laugh, “Don’t laugh at my misery! He never lets me relax. He never even told me why he wanted to break up.” An angry pout forms on your plush lips.
“Yikes,” the ginger winces, trying to hide his smile. You get it, if the roles were reversed you’d probably find it oddly amusing too. You shove him lightly anyway, shaking your head when he breaks into a fit of laughter, “Hey, sorry! It’s just weirdly funny. I mean, he’s a complete jerk for doing all that, but it’s still kind of ridiculous.”
You nod, agreeing. You two sit like that, leaned against the truck for a solid ten minutes, playfully arguing about trivial matters and laughing at Chan’s enormous collection of pick-up lines until it’s disturbed by no one other than the bane of your existence. Felix strolls up to the two of you, putting on that same smile he gave to customers just after he’d ordered you to clean the bathroom floors—despite the fact that the café had its own designated janitor.
“Hi, Chan! [Y/N].” He gives you a curt nod that makes you roll your eyes. How fake could he be? “I was coming to check if you were done yet, since the last of us are going back to the bakery, and I was wondering if you could work the afternoon shift today?”
Your jaw drops, already imagining the pile of dishes you had used to bake today, and those the bakers who’d stayed behind had probably sullied. You hang your head, agreeing because you know that he’d get you to do it somehow, be it through a cut paycheck or a job transfer. “Yeah, sure.”
Chan frowns. “But she’s been working all day? Don’t you have other staff that can cover for her?” Felix’s fairy-like eyes darken imperceptibly, and you urge Chan to let it go. Seeing the look of tiredness in your orbs, he sighs, “I guess if she’s up for it, I can’t stop her.” A feigned smile appears on his lips.
“Yep, that’s [Y/N]! I can always rely on her to be ready to work,” flashing a much too forced smile your way, the crinkles beside his eye phony and almost seeming sarcastic. Of course, Felix didn’t want anyone outside the bakery to know how cruel he was. He had no power over anyone who didn’t work for him, and you were sure he didn’t want to get reported and fired. “Nice seeing you, Chan! Maybe we can get something to eat sometime!”
Chan smiles at you, “Bye [Y/N], see you tomorrow, I hope!” ignoring Felix’s offer entirely and giving your hand a chaste peck, a flirty yet friendly grin on his thick lips when you flush.
“Haha… Bye Chan! I hope to see you too,” You giggle slightly as you pull your hand from his, only to groan as Felix tugs you towards the truck door.
Surprisingly, the freckled boy manages to have some gentlemanly qualities left in him, opening your door for you and helping you climb in before shutting it. It almost gives you whiplash how quickly his attitude has changed from overly happy to completely done once he closes his door, “I need you to wash the dishes and mop the floors when we get back. Any arguments and I’ll cut you from the rest of the event.”
You give him a dirty look, leaning over to rest your head on your palm to stare out the window for the rest of the ride.
Tomorrow comes faster than you’d expected, and before you know it, you’re already unpacked at the park, preheating the outdoor ovens. Mina’s returned, and even so she’s not a very good baker (dare you to say, a bad barista too), and Sungjoon’s absent over some familial matters, so you’re still on the roster.
“Alright, everyone! Welcome back yesterday’s winners, Yellow Wood Cafékery, and the remaining contestants, Hole in One Doughnuts, Sweet Revenge, and Flour Bakery and Café!” Chan cheers, starting the day off strong. He sends a wink at you after calling your team’s name, inducing a red hue to take over your cheeks that evokes an annoyed groan from Felix. “Today we will be judging your best pastries! You have half an hour to make something that’ll blow our minds!”
“So I was thinking we could do some nice strawberry roll cakes, and then something new,” Minho suggests, earning a nod of approval from Felix. “I was looking up some new stuff for the bakery and I found this thing called a Franzbrötchen. It's German, so it’ll most likely be something new for the judges, and the others shouldn’t see it coming.”
You tap your chin. “Alright, I’ll take the two roll cakes, and since you know the recipe, you can take the Frankenstein or whatever you said.”
“I’ll help [Y/N] with the roll cakes. We all know she can’t roll one for the life of her,” Felix provokes, his face neutral as the gears in his head turn.
“Alright, go!”
The three of you rush to the ingredients tables, bumping into a minimal yet still significant number of bakers from other teams. It seems that after yesterday, nobody cares about chivalry or manners, roughly shoving each other out of the way to get to their desired ingredient.
You’re reaching for the strawberries when someone thrusts you out of the way, throwing you into an unsuspecting brown you just can’t seem to avoid getting in trouble with, “Hey! Watch it!” he growls, catching you. You scoff, freeing yourself from his hold on your waist, ready to retort when you notice he isn’t glaring at you, but the older girl who’d so rudely thrown you. She ignores his warning, rushing off to find whatever she was looking for, leaving Felix holding you salsa-dip style. “Are you okay?”
The sincerity of his concern almost scares you, but you don’t say anything about it and assure him you're fine with an awkward smile. Felix hadn’t shown that kind of emotion to you in a while, something other than hostility and feigned positivity, since your still confusing fallout. “Yeah…”
You turn and grab the last box of strawberries, running off to look for whipping cream and steady your frantic heartbeat. When was the last time Felix had you feeling like this? Well, yesterday, but before that, you couldn’t even recall it had been so long.
The three of you regroup, Minho summoning Changbin and Jisung to be his helpers and Jeongin volunteering to whip your cream for you. You and Felix dance around each other the entire time, a thick awkwardness filling the air around you two and your baking. Within a good twenty-eight minutes, you were the first team done, stacking your cakes and German sugar buns creatively on a cupcake stand.
The female judge from yesterday, Yeji, is the first to try your Franzbrötchen, staring at it quizzically before taking a bite. “It’s so good! Hyunjin get over here and try this…”
“Franzbrötchen,” Minho interjects, smiling politely at the younger brown.
“Franzbrötchen! Thank you,” she smiles back, eagerly beckoning the other brown-haired judge over to have a taste of the lesser-known pastry, “I’ve never had this before! Points for creativity!”
Hyunjin agrees with her, as does Chan, who makes sure to take an extra-large piece of the roll cake you’d made. Felix hates to admit that the scene of you two eye-flirting makes him feel things he’d lost the right to experience when he… Well, you know, silently hoping another team finishes up soon and cuts the interaction as short as possible. Geez, maybe it was a bit more than a mere “memory of the love he’d once held for you” as he assumed before.
Soon enough, this year’s top rookie finishes, giving your long-time rivals Sweet Revenge a run for their money by taking one of their famous classics and revamping it, creating the best version of their crème brûlées and macaroons ever tasted before. Then, Sweet Revenge follows two simple and unimpressive rice cakes, and Flour Bakery and Café not far behind with a much more notable parfait and a pastry.
“Tied for first, for taking an unforeseen approach, Hole in One Doughnuts!” You all cheer, impressed with the inexperienced team of fresh-faced bakers who jump in excitement, “And yesterday’s number one, Yellow Wood, for their pleasant surprise!” Chan finishes.
Yeji picks up her mic next, confidently smiling at the medium-sized crowd, “And our two who will be participating in a face-off elimination, Flour Bakery and Café, and Sweet Revenge! Stay tuned to see who will be moving on to the next round and who will be going home!”
You hear Hyunjin’s voice begin to explain the elimination round, although you can’t focus on the details as you march over to your tables and begin packing everything away like yesterday, guessing Felix was going to tell you to do it soon anyway. Once all the boxes are ready, you notice almost all the teams have gone home, and the results are out, Sweet Revenge moving onto the next round—though you’re sure they only made it due to experience with working the time in their favor.
Lifting the heaviest box first, you groan and wobble towards the open truck, only to have the weight removed by none other than Bang Chan. “Whoa there, you’ll throw out your back if you keep trying to carry things you don’t have the muscle for.”
“Are you trying to say I’m scrawny?” you gasp in mock offense, a dramatic hand on your heart to add to the scene. “I’ll have you know these biceps are toned to perfection!”
“I’m sure mixing all that batter has certainly built quite a bit of muscle, but allow me to do the really heavy lifting for your sake,” he smiles, the warm apples of his cheeks squishing his eyes.
“Fine, but only because I’m already tired.”
“Of course.”
The same as yesterday, you two sit on the truck’s back, laughing hysterically at a bad baking experience Chan was telling you about, “And the cookies, oh my gosh, they were absolutely horrible!”
“Y-you mean to tell me that you—one of my esteemed judges—can’t bake?” A hand grasps your ribs so that they don’t burst, “That’s gold!”
“Anyway,” he chuckles one last time, still infected with laughter. “Why’re you here again? Isn’t there someone else to pick up the slack?”
You suspire, shaking your head. “There probably is, Felix just likes to pick on me these days. He’s always overworking me, trying to get rid of me. Honestly, I’m not even sure he ever loved me.” You frown, and then cuss quietly when your eyes start to water. “It’s like he’s my bully, and I’ve gotta do his, and whoever he wants homework all the time.”
Chan nods, patting your back gently, “I’m sorry, you don’t deserve that.”
“And what’s worse is that after all this time, all the bad blood and everything… I still love him,” you say, squishing your brows as you try your best not to cry. You recover soon enough though, wiping the wetness of your eyes and putting on your best smile. “Wow, it feels good to get that off my chest,” laughing to lighten the mood.
“I see you’re here… again.” A few minutes later, a familiar, rich voice interrupts, Felix’s unamused face appearing before you and Chan. “I’m not feeling up for any conversation, so if you two could quickly wrap this up, please? I’ll be waiting in the car,” a poorly faked smile on his perfect pink lips as he gives a brief hand motion and enters the large automobile.
Chan smiles nervously at you, “He doesn’t look too happy to see us together…”
“It’s not like that, he’s just unhappy to see me.” You don’t catch how Chan shakes his head at your explanation. “Welp, I’ve gotta go. See you tomorrow, Chan!” You hop off the back of the truck and wave goodbye. Immediately as you enter the truck, you sense the downcast mood, wiping your smile off your face and sighing, “To the bakery?”
He’s thinking about your parting words to Chan, “You read my mind.”
“Great,” you scowl, crossing your arms and sinking lower into the stiff seat material. Felix seemed to have a way of killing your mood, always bringing you down from cloud nine to misery.
The two of you sit in silence for a good ten minutes, before Felix speaks up. “I don’t want you alone with Chan anymore,” his tone is stern, though he’s saying it quieter than usual, almost as if he’s unsure of what he’s saying. “He’s being too… friendly.”
The comment that follows the already absurd order makes you furrow your brows, confusion painting your face. “So? We’re both single, and I like hanging out with him. What makes you think you get to dictate who I get to be friendly with, hm? ‘Cus I’m pretty sure you relinquished that sort of say when we broke up.” You’re angrier than you want to be.
He stays silent, eyes trained on the road, mixed emotions swirling in his stomach. He resorts to glaring, his knuckles turning white as he grips the wheel, “Whatever.”
“Yesterday, one of our rookies came out on top, let’s give a big hand to Hole in One Doughnuts!” Yeji cheers, standing confidently. Maybe confidence was the key to looking great…
“In second place, Yellow Wood!” Hyunjin smiles, “And our elimination round winner was Sweet Revenge!”
“Today, we will be holding a technical challenge. Those of you familiar with our Bake Offs should know that means we will have three dishes for the contestants to choose from. Whoever succeeds in not only baking the dish, as well as plating it and making it presentable within the time limit will move onto the next round unscathed. The other two teams will face off in an elimination round,” Chan explains, discreetly reading the cards between his hands. He sends a wink your way, and grins when you flush, just like yesterday. It’s repetitive, you admit, but it felt nice to be getting positive attention from a guy.
Felix crosses his arms, clicking his tongue at the noticeable exchange. Chan’s far too flirtatious for his taste, and he hates how your blush has him feeling butterflies.
“Alright, the choices are Angel Slices, Fig Rolls, and Miniature Pineapple Upside Down Cakes. Since Hole in One Doughnuts won first place yesterday, they get to pick first, then Yellow Wood, and lastly Sweet Revenge.”
The rookies pick Fig Rolls, leaving you with the choice between Angel Slices and the Upside Down Cakes, and you choose the latter. Your team pretends not to notice the death glares from Sweet Revenge, knowing they didn’t know the first thing about making Angel Slices and Felix happened to be one of the best Upside Down Cake bakers in town.
The three of you decide to make three separate cakes, opting for three different styles and three chances for the top spot.
“Alright, now that we’ve gotten the recipes sorted, you may start your dishes! Go!”
There’s somehow even more pushing and shoving than yesterday, even with the dwindling number of bakers present. You crash into someone, and you can’t believe your luck when it’s Felix you crash into again, except this time he holds you to his chest. “Are you okay?”
You can feel his voice reverberate through his chest, and it’s something you didn’t think you’d hear from him ever again. Worry. “Yeah, I’m good…” you say, dizzy with confusion.
He nods, still holding you to his chest. “Be careful,” his tone softer than what you were used to hearing him use with you. His eyes are soft and averted, and they hold something tender in them. With one more deep inhale, he releases you, almost hesitantly.
When you walk off to find your ingredients, heeding his words and avoiding any more contestants, he misses your warmth. He misses holding you, and keeping you safe. Then he gets distracted, remembering the conversation you’d had with Bang Chan, oblivious that he was listening.
“He’s always overworking me… I’m not even sure he ever loved me…”
“And what’s worse is that after all this time, all the bad blood and everything… I still love him.”
Felix may not have been the type to eavesdrop, but when he’d heard you and Chan’s voices, he couldn’t help himself. He’d heard the whole thing, but something about these phrases had stuck. He didn’t make you do that much, just a little extra here and there when he felt like it. And of course, he loved you! You two had dated for years, how could you think that he never loved you? Heck, he still—
And that last sentence, even after he admittedly acted like a complete jerk to you—and a lot of others post-dating your breakup—you still had all the same feelings for him. He doesn’t like how the thought brings him happiness, or how it has him questioning his feelings about you. He was over you, right? Done with your relationship—that was one of the reasons he’d ended it.
So then, why did one quick glance from you make his heart stutter as though he was the same eighteen-year-old you’d caught the attention of three years ago?
“… lix? Felix, hey! Are you with me?” Minho snaps his fingers in front of his face, concern in the older man’s eyes. “You zoned out for a bit. Don’t worry, we got all the ingredients, and we didn’t lose much time.”
The competition. Right, he was competing, not debating his thoughts of (read: love for) you! “Yeah, I’m here. Sorry, I got distracted.” Minho nods, dragging him back to your station to start.
You’re used to Felix criticizing your baking techniques, but what you aren’t used to is him trying to help you. He’s got his hands over yours again—this time of his own accord—and he’s guiding you in placing your pineapple slices. You know perfectly well how to do this on your own, but he insists on showing you. “Alright, I’ve got it now.”
Hearing the tone of your voice, he sighs, releasing your arms, so you can continue to place your slices in your pan. You space them less than you had in Felix’s, and stack them a bit to give a bit of variety. Once you’re done, you call for Minho, “Hey, can you get me some pineapple juice-water mix?”
Before the oldest has time to respond to your request, Felix pushes a small pitcher towards you. “Here, use some of mine,” a bright pink on his cheeks that you luckily miss, taking the mixture and pouring it onto your pan.
“… Thanks.”
You almost swear he’s smiling, quickly beginning the next step of the process, “No problem.” For once, his tone lacks all hostility. The table goes quiet for the majority of the round, an awkward and fairly uncomfortable silence between you two, which Felix decides he’s not too fond of. Trying to ease the tension as your cakes bake, he leans towards you. “Want a brownie?”
You quirk your brow at him, utterly confused, “What?”
He looks at you this time, gesturing towards a box under his table, “A brownie, do you want one?”
“Um, sure.” As long as they aren’t poisoned. He hands you a larger one, and somehow it’s still warm. Getting a whiff of it, you sigh, biting into the delicious treat. You almost don’t care why you’ve been gifted this delicious piece of unhealthiness, but your curiosity gets the best of you. “Why are you being so nice to me today?”
He stiffens slightly, unsure of how to answer. “I can stop if you want—” he says, reaching over to take your brownie.
You snatch your hand away, hugging the delicacy to your chest protectively. “No, no… It’s just odd…” you reply hastily, quickly becoming attached to your brownie. You won’t acknowledge how you like the sweeter behavior, because if you do, you won’t just be swimming in love for Felix, you’ll be drowning. “Thanks, these are just like I remember them.”
“Yeah…” he murmurs, smiling gently as you reach for another brownie. He had made them in the morning before leaving the bakery after mulling over your interactions the day before. “I actually made them for you—to say sorry for being a jerk, of course!” He adds that last bit a little too quickly to sound natural.
You nod awkwardly, finishing your brownie just as the oven timer goes off. Checking your work—like the fantastic baker you are—you poke a toothpick through the middle, a satisfied hum when it comes out perfectly clean. When you unstick the sides, you’re surprised to see Felix has already unstuck one and is working on unsticking yours.
Minho stares at the younger just as confused, before shrugging. As long as the work’s getting done, you suppose, standing to the side with nothing to do. You decide to make yourself useful, grabbing three decorated plates and placing them neatly in front of the three of you, ready to flip the cakes. Felix rushes to hand you oven mitts in an out-of-character way, but you think it’s sweet nonetheless.
“Three, two, one!” All three of you flip your cakes, watching as they slide out perfectly, and you’re sure you’ll win again this year. They didn’t call Yellow Wood the “Best Baker in Town” for nothing. “Alright, great job guys! Let’s call the judges over.”
Each cake had a slightly different tint, yours is more orange and bright than the others due to the higher concentration of oranges, while Minho’s is closer to a caramel color--you assume he added brown sugar to the mix. The caramel has faded, the bubbles that once resided inside now pooped, leaving the cakes with a transparent olive look. All in all, they’re absolutely gorgeous.
Yeji bounces over first, ready to taste the amazingness you’ve baked up for her. She squeals in delight, beckoning Hyunjin over before shoving a bite in his mouth. He doesn’t care to get upset, too enamored by the sweet and tangy flavors dancing harmoniously in his mouth. “Oh man, unless the other teams are cheating, you’ve got our votes,” he mumbles out, muffled by his stuffed cheeks as he continues to try the other cakes. He marvels at how you all managed to bake the same dish in such different ways and end up with three amazing and unique tastes. “Seriously, like, I might have to swing by the bakery later!”
You all laugh at his commentary, bowing thankfully as Chan approaches, eyes bright and trained on you. “Ah, what have I done to deserve a job where I get to see you and eat your fantastic baking for a week in a row?” His grin stretches ear to ear, and it only widens after he takes a spoonful to his mouth and savors the taste, “[Y/N], I love your baking too much to live without, I just might have to marry you.”
The joke makes Felix freeze for a moment, thinking of a time when you two were seriously thinking of getting married and spending your lives together. How you used to cuddle into his side talking about your future as husband and wife, both of you so sure nothing would ever break you two up.
He used to always imagine buying your first house with you, picking your ring out. It was always the biggest predicament whether he wanted to help you choose a dress or if he wanted to see it for the first time at the wedding.
“Hm, do we want a big, extravagant wedding or a small one?” You hummed, twirling his sweater drawstring in your fingers, eyes staring at Felix’s with nothing but love.
He looks up, scrunching his face up in deep thought, before leaning down to peck your nose, “We’ll do whatever you want. How does that sound?” his cheeks squishing up to his eyes in happiness when you lightly push him, then hug his arms to his sides.
“Are you sure about that? What if I want dancing worms to perform?”
He bursts out in laughter. “Then so be it.”
He comes back to his senses in time to see you flush. He laughs unnaturally, “Get in line, mate,” an almost intimidating drip in his voice as he urges Chan to try the others. Get it line? What line was there for Chan to get in? You give Felix a suspicious look, not too happy with how he seemed to be unpredictable today. Chan shoots Felix a look when you’re not looking, then heads off to judge Sweet Revenge, who’d just finished. The younger boy rolls his eyes, turning to you with a glint in his eye. “That Chan seems friendlier than friendly…”
You stare at him, baffled. “What’s wrong with that? You might find this hard to believe, Felix, but some people still like me.” And with that, you turn away from him, leaving the surprised baker kicking himself.
About twenty minutes later, this year’s newbies finally finish up, and a few more after that, the results are in. Chan stands with Yeji to announce them, both of them sending bright smiles your way, “Once again, Yellow Wood has won first place for their outstanding work! Three unique and dazzling cakes of the same type, congratulations on moving onto the finals!”
Yeji pipes in, “And in second, we’d like to congratulate this year’s fresh-dough, Hole in One Doughnuts!”
The small crowd cheers, along with your teams, as Sweet Revenge bows, and thanks everyone for another great competition. Felix doesn’t get as excited as the rest of you, still focused on your earlier words that were stinging him more than he’d like. You thought he didn’t like you? How absurd—
There he was again, forgetting that all these new opinions you had of him were with very good reason. He hadn’t been particularly nice or caring after breaking your heart, and now he was getting upset that someone was showing you some interest, how rude of him.
He remembers when he was sweet, always bringing you flowers, gifts, and reassurances of love, all the sweetness. Not only that, but he remembers the day all the sugar dissolved into the bitter coffee, and he was no longer staring at you with dark, deep admiration and love. He remembers taking your heart in his hand and crushing it between his fingers, watching your love ooze out like batter to an unfinished, half-raw cake.
And, like a bad chef, he never cleaned up the mess he made. He watched you come into work, heartbroken and tear-stained, every day and did nothing. No comfort, nor space.
Sniffing, you waddled into the bakery, catching the eyes of your coworkers and friends. Minho was the first to check on you, confused and slowly becoming more pissed as he realized those were breakup tears. “Did he do this?”
You'd waved him off, barely holding in your tears. “It's not his fault. It just wasn't working out for him anymore,” biting your lips, they tried to console your tears.
Felix had walked in a few moments later, confused as to why everyone seemed to be crowded together—except him and Mina who'd happened to walk in at the same time. “What's going on?”
Then he'd caught a glimpse of your crying figure, feeling the guilt start to eat at him until Changbin spoke up. “How could you break [Y/N]’s heart? You jerk!” Angry with the brunet the moment he sees him.
Felix’s face hardens, and suddenly he doesn't feel so bad. “I did what was best for me. We agreed on it, she's just making a scene,” venom drips from his voice, and that was the first time anyone had witnessed the new, cold-hearted Felix.
He saw how you shrank at his words, pushing everyone away to run to the bathroom. When you came out, you didn't look at him. When he called you, you didn't make eye contact, but you tried to talk to him, and all he did was send you off to clean angrily. What had happened to him?
He sees you talking to Chan, and notices you haven't started cleaning yet. In other words, he sees an opening, a chance, to be nice to you again. Even if you two weren't together and madly in love like you once were, he at least wanted to be on good terms with you again.
He speedily begins putting away all the supplies, pretending to ignore your shocked expression, when in reality that was exactly what he was hoping for. If he wanted you to know he was genuine, he couldn't be openly looking for your validation. When he's done, he packs the boxes neatly into the truck and waits patiently for you to finish your conversation and enter, all the while wearing a small smile.
“Sorry for not picking up, I got distracted. It won't happen again though,” you apologize robotically, allowing Felix to realize how practiced your apologies to him must be.
He waves it off, giving you an understanding look as he starts the ignition. “Don't worry about it. I'm sorry I've been making you take care of all that alone.” he frowns to himself, guilty. “I'm going to drop you off at the café, okay? Don't worry about the evening shift today, just go home.”
What's he up to? You wonder, subtly eyeing him with a nod, confused by his extremely understanding and—dare you say, nice—behavior today. Hadn't he hated your guts just yesterday?
Not enjoying the awkward silence, Felix turns up the radio, an all too familiar song filling the truck's low-quality speakers. It's your song, the one you two had first kissed to, back when you won your first Bake-Offs together.
He's about to switch the station when he hears you humming the melody, and a small smile takes over his freckled cheeks. He begins the chorus, voice low and smooth, the deepness reverberating through your ears down your spine in nostalgia and comfort. You try to contain the way your face flushes and contorts into a happy expression, but something about how he sounds just like he used tickles your heart. It feels like when times were simpler, your boyfriend and you singing your hearts out to your “song”—
Your smile slowly falls, and you stop your quiet singing, feeling tears well up.
Felix doesn't notice at first until he realizes his voice and the singer's are the only ones he hears. His chest stutters in the worst ways when he sees you, downcast and frowning at your lap, and he remembers that your current relationship is not okay. He switches the station, and mumbles out a quiet apology.
“Alright, today's the big day! To spice things up a bit, we'll be having pair competitions! That's right, two bakers from each establishment will be chosen to represent their team against the other team's pair,” Hyunjin announces brightly, and you wonder if he was born with the ability to have all eyes on him the moment he entered an area. “They will be creating a pastry of their choice that represents our theme, which in today's case, is love! Each team will have two hours to perfect their creation.”
Chan steps forward. “The time starts in three… Two… One!”
“Okay, we're all fantastic bakers, but we have to pick our best,” Minho reasons, huddled around a table with the rest of you. “I think [Y/N] and Felix are our best bets. I know you two aren't on the best terms or anything, but I've seen you two recently, and I think you guys can pull it together long enough to win.”
You wave your hands in front of your face. You were almost sure that if you and Felix were alone in a high-pressure situation, one of you would end up in the hospital and you'd lose the competition. “I don't think that's a good idea—”
“I agree with Minho. Mina got back yesterday, and she might get along better with Lix, but we all know she can't bake to save her life. Plus, you two have worked together and won before,” Changbin cuts you off, which is surprising because Changbin isn't one to agree with Minho easily.
Felix turns to you, “If you're okay with it, so am I.” Curse his starry eyes and freckles akin to the constellations.
You sigh, giving in. “Fine, but if he starts acting like a jerk and we lose, don't blame me.”
You both run to the ingredients, and you can't help but notice that Felix is hovering around you, blocking other contestants from bumping into you. Chivalrous, really, but you still haven't forgiven him for his behavior for the last seven months.
You bite your cheek, eyeing the shelves as you think of a plan. “I think we should go with a Persian Love Cake. Nothing says romance like a cake with love in the name, right?”
Felix nods. “But I don't know how to make that—I've only had one that one time when—,” we were together, he stops himself from saying it, but with the way your face contorts, he knows you already knew what he was going to say. “You're going to have to teach me as we go.”
“That's fine, it's not too difficult. Preheat the oven for me, one-sixty degrees Celsius fan-forced, I'm gonna start greasing a cake pan,” you direct, not noticing the glint of happiness in Felix’s eyes. He thought you were cute when you took the lead, one of the reasons he had asked you out all those years ago.
After you've prepared that, you push him towards the electric mixer. “Now, I need you to beat butter, sugar, vanilla, cinnamon, ginger, cardamom, and rosewater until it's pale and creamy, okay? I have to mix some almond meal and flour.”
He does as he's told, though he does waste a bit of time looking over at you with soft eyes when he sees you've covered most of your apron and your face with the powders. He wasn't going to lie to himself, he really missed baking with you, side by side, just the two of you. It was one of the things he missed most after the breakup—but he couldn't admit that. Not after what he'd done.
As he finishes up, he sees you already ready to take the bowl from him, cracking eggs and beating them into the mixture one at a time before slowly folding it into the powder cocktail, then spooning it into a bowl. Felix wonders when you got so efficient at working alone in silence, recalling how you used to waste so much time cooing at him and chit-chatting when you two had dated. Then he remembers everything had changed since then.
It was a truly odd sensation, the way his heart shrivels as he realizes he had broken you and left you to pick up the pieces, except now it seemed all the little ones were missing from the puzzle of you. You used to socialize all the time, until he started having you take shifts with people you didn't know, and you got used to being alone. You'd stopped talking as much when he'd told you to stop being so loud. He hadn't heard you laugh freely around him since he decided to be a complete jerk.
Man, he really messed up.
Now that he thinks about it, he didn't even have a good reason to have broken up with you. The bakery was having you both work overtime and more than usual, but you two were still in love. You were trying, he should’ve been trying; you two would have made it work.
But just like Seungmin said, things started getting difficult and Felix ran away.
There were rumors, you two were both tired, and things were becoming a bit distant between you two, and Felix thought that meant your time was up. That your relationship had run its course, and this was the end of the line before it got rougher. Now he wishes he could punch his slightly younger self, tell him to man up and just work through it all with you instead of being a pissy jerk who lost the best thing he ever had.
You quickly begin preparing more cakes, figuring that it would look better if you had more than the other team done in the allotted time. Besides, more cakes meant cuter plating possibilities.
You fail to notice how Felix stares at you, until his warm, slightly calloused palms come to wipe your cheeks gently. He keeps his eyes focused on yours as he performs the affectionate act, successfully making your heart skip a beat (or two).
With a shy lump in your throat, you find yourself unconsciously leaning into his touch as he brushes the flour off your cheeks benevolently. Your eyes glance from his chocolate ones to his heart-shaped lips, and you wonder what could possibly be holding you back from kissing those perfect lips like you had so many times before?
And with a jolt, you remember where you are, who you were, and who he is. You’re in a serious, high-stakes baking competition as a finalist, with your mean, unfair, ridiculous ex-boyfriend, who is also your boss. Pull it together, [Y/N]! You needed to keep your head in the game.
You push Felix away, muttering a quiet and sharp “Excuse me,” and continue kneading your batter into the powdery concoction. If you had been any less determined, you would’ve noticed how the hearts in the brunet’s irises shatter. Oh, to go back to the time when things were easy…
Felix’s arms brush over yours as he kneads another ball of batter beside you, his gaze directed on your pursed lips whilst his hands do the work. He’d been so close to your face—how could he possibly forget how damn gorgeous you were? Now, all he wanted was to kiss your lips like he once did, soft, gentle, sweet. “I’m sorry.”
“What?” You raise your brow, turning to face him—maybe your vision darts down to his plush lips for a second before refocusing on his face. Was he apologizing for a moment ago? That would mean the odd tension wasn’t just in your head, and he felt it too. Still, you didn’t want to let your heart lead the way—it’s what had made you date Sir Angel Dust in the first place—and would rather forget about the encounter. “Don’t dwell on it, just keep kneading.”
He sighs, his nerves building up slightly as he has to explain himself. Gosh, he felt eighteen again, nervous to ask you out and get rejected. “I meant for breaking up with you, then acting like your enemy. I told you we’d stay friends, and I never explained myself. I’m sorry for all of that.”
Even if hearing the genuine apology from his deep voice made your stomach do flips, you weren’t ready for this or the feelings that came with it. Right now, you need to focus. “Whatever, it’s in the past now. C’mon, spoon it into this pan then put it to bake,” you direct, voice wavering slightly with every syllable that leaves your throat.
He does as he’s told—making sure to help you as well, so he can score points and speed up the process—and then he resumes his earlier speech. “Seriously, I’ve been horrible to you, and I’m sorry. Can we please talk about this?”
You clench your fist, breathing deeply as you move to step away from him, except you can’t. He has a careful and firm grip on your wrist, almost as if he was holding a fragile glass he was afraid to drop, and he holds you in front of him, gaze boring into your own. “What’s there to talk about, Felix? You’ve said it all.”
He shakes his head. “No, I don’t want us to be left like this, as enemies. I want to make it right, please don’t walk away.” You shouldn’t still fall for the pleads in his voice, but it’s always been your weakness. You sigh, nodding and leaning against the fold-out table beside him. He nods, thankful. “Thank you.”
“Just say what you need to say, so I can go.”
He frowns. “Did I really ruin everything to this extent?” You nod. “Then why are you still here—at the bakery, I mean?”
“Because I loved my job—which I’m not even sure I still have anymore. I know you’ve been nicer, more reasonable these past couple of days, but that doesn’t change the fact that you hurt me, really badly.” You feel the tears begin to well up. “You even started making me do stuff for Mina, knowing about the rumors and how they made me feel. It was as if you never loved me…”
Don't say that. His throat tightens at both your tears and your words, I've always loved you. “I'm sorry, [Y/N].”
Padding your face with your fingertips and fanning yourself, you shake your head. “Sorry doesn't fix everything that you did, Felix.” You stand straight, breathing in and out deeply, “I can't do this right now with you.”
Keep your head in the game, you tell yourself, ignoring the emotions stirring in the pit of your stomach. Felix didn't deserve your tears—and he definitely didn't deserve your time and thoughts. Screw being hung up on Lee Felix, and screw him.
“Alright, we know everyone was expecting this to be the big finale,” Chan starts off, looking less enthusiastic than usual, somewhere between tired, annoyed, and even amused. “But we've decided to mix it up a little. The two pairs that were picked today will be competing tomorrow in a series of challenges, and a winner will be declared overmorrow. Courtesy of the anonymous suggestions last year who thought our event was too predictable.”
You freeze, unsure if you can bear being alone with Felix in a competition any longer. You didn’t care if he was “different”—technically back to normal—he’d hurt you too much.
“This round along with the next two will add up to points, which will determine the final elimination!” Yeji booms, explaining the competition's new twist, “Whoever has the most out of three points wins this year’s Bake-Offs! Now, without further ado, let’s judge this round! These cakes look amazing!”
You and Felix present your cakes, plated to perfection, with every crumb, petal, and nuts placed with precision to make it as appealing as possible. You, to be quite honest, outdid yourself. Your cakes were absolutely ethereal with their white milky white glaze, glittered with crushed pistachios, rose petals, and candied ginger that let the cake be anything but boring. You almost wanted to keep one framed—especially the silver edible glitter, absolutely breathtaking.
Chan comes over first, taking a bite into his mouth to get the judging portion over with to talk to you, since Hole in One Doughnuts was still busy baking their mystery romance cake. “As always, I don’t think I’ll be able to live without your baking after this,” he flirts, his words implying something a little more than platonic. “Maybe you can bake for me outside this competition sometime?”
Your cheeks pinken, and you reply with the same coquettish tone, “Maybe. If we get first place,” you joke, laughing softly at his faux disapproving handshake.
“Speaking of your “we” situation, how are you doing?” he nods in Felix’s direction, eyeing the baker as he talks with Minho about something on the other side freshly pruned hedge that separates you. “I’m sure it hasn’t been the smoothest between you two.”
You scrunch your brows, a weird and confused look. “Oddly enough, he’s been really… pleasant these past two days. I think he’s either realized he’s been a jerk, or someone threatened him,” you say that last part as a joke, and thankfully Chan shares your lighthearted humor.
“Or he’s realized he should’ve never broken up with you,” he shrugs, and you have the feeling that he’s not joking—not for the most part. He waves his hands, “Just speculation, of course. Although, if I were him, that’s what I’d feel like right now.”
“You are such a flirt,” you snort, pushing his chest—maybe you feel how toned his chest is, but that’s not important. “Anyway, how long until the next round?”
He senses you want to change the subject, so he allows it, and answers you honestly, “About thirty minutes after this round. The same goes for the last round. Oh, and we won't be announcing winners today, but tomorrow after we sit with the other judges and come to an agreement.”
You nod, feeling anxious. How long could you two actually last in this situation? What if Felix suddenly decides he hates you again and you rip each other's throats out? Why that's what you thought of, you didn't know, but it was unpleasant at the least.
You and Chan chat for a bit longer, before the other team finishes and Felix is back at your side wearing a look that almost seems nervous. “… So you and Chan?”
You shrug. “I don't think it's like that. I think we're definitely flirting, but I don't think it's going further than that. I wouldn't want to be the ex of not only my boss, but also my competition judge.” You laugh at your own joke, Felix giving an awkward chuckle at the joke.
He never wanted to be in the same category as Chan in your eyes.
“So, since we have some time… can we talk now?” He asks, his voice deep and quiet, like if he was mumbling, except he pronounced every syllable clearly. You sigh, nodding, and he proceeds. “I never meant for things to get like… this. I just saw you crying the day after, and I panicked. I didn't want everyone knowing we had broken up, but they did know, and I snapped—at you. I shouldn't have ever done that.”
“Damn right,” you mutter. “The thing I never got was… why did you break up with me? Was it something I did? Or did you get tired of me?” Pain, both new and old, seeps into your voice in the form of tone cracks and soft speaking. “I think I deserve an explanation.”
He sweats. Even with his earlier conclusion, he didn't feel confident in telling you he was “just scared your relationship would only go downhill”. He knits his brows, the shadow they cast over his eyes making the light brown reflections of light even more prominent. “I thought… I just thought it was time to end it…” His sentences drag out oddly, as if he has more to say.
You nod, deciding that maybe that was a good enough reason for you. You light up with another question soon after, tapping the table absentmindedly as you continue your interrogation. “What made you want to make amends?”
His heart aches because he doesn’t know. It wasn’t like he had just started missing you out of nowhere, right? He didn’t even realize he was being a jerk until you pointed it out. His eyes trail over to the other team, and he sees Chan, which makes him feel sick. Maybe Chan wasn’t the entire reason he wanted to get you back, but he was certainly part of it. If you started liking, maybe even dating him, Felix couldn’t pretend like he was okay without you. He’d have to let you go completely.
But hadn’t he already done that?
Felix’s mind darts back to the first day, when he’d been reteaching you his mixing technique—how he’d held you and how close you two had been, how it made him feel. It was just like when you two would bake together as a couple.
No, he’d been holding onto you by a thread this entire time.
He needed to win you back before you were done with him for good—if you weren’t already. He needed to fix all his mistakes and, maybe, he’d get the chance to love you again.
He tries not to smile at the resolution, and it becomes easier after a second when he remembers you still thought he hated you, and you hated him. He had dug himself a six-foot deep hole, and now he had to climb out of it. Fantastic.
He notices your confused staring, which baffles him for a moment. Oh, right, you asked him a question. “I… I just realized how much of a jerk I’ve been, and I felt bad…” He lies through his teeth, scratching his neck nervously as he hopes you’ll believe him. “Again, I’m so sorry about all that.”
“Yeah… okay,” you mutter the last word, looking down as if you were thinking. Was he being genuine? Or was this so that you wouldn’t bail on him for the competition? If that was the case, he could stop, because you loved baking too much to throw in the towel this early in your life.
He frowns. You didn’t believe him, did you?
Your conversation is put on hold when Chan steps on stage, holding a small card in his hands to read off of. “I just want to say, you’ve both impressed me with your outstanding baking. But, we can’t choose a winner based on the one round, so we’ll be starting round two in fifteen minutes. To give you time to prepare, we’ve decided to tell you the next challenge.”
“The next round will be… different,” Yeji starts, a slight difference in her voice when she utters the last word. “You will be tied to your partner with one hand and will have to bake a summer theme pastry of your choice. Exciting, right?”
Hyunjin nods beside her. “You will be able to choose what side you’re tied on, but you will have to be tied at the wrists, no higher. Anyone caught slipping out of the binds will be disqualified immediately.”
You all nod, and you turn to Felix, less than excited to be attached at the wrists with him. “So, what side do you want?”
He almost does a double-take at your tone, upset at how it had gone from the slightly personal and almost casual timbre to the harsh and distant one you used now. He deserved it, he supposed, but it was still disappointing. “I want to be on your right, I’m awful with my left hand,” he chuckles, trying to lighten the mood.
You nod, “I know,” and the words make his heart flutter. At least you still remembered some little things about him, he muses. “So, I was thinking of making a strawberry tart, with toffee strawberries.”
Felix’s eyes launch to yours in recollection, “Like the one you made for our anniversary?” He says before he can stop himself, the words spilling from his lips naturally. He feels his stomach twist when your face drops, and curses himself for blurting that out. Why was he so awkward now? This wasn’t what he meant when he wanted to be a teenager again.
“Yeah, one of those. I think Mina attempted one with you last week, right?” you furrow your brows, irritated. You were contemplating forgiving him, and he just had to hit a sensitive spot, didn’t he?
You note how his face contorts into something you can’t quite put your finger on. Felix still baffled you, as he had for the past several months. This competition has only confused you further. What baffled you more was the prospect that perhaps, he had wanted you back, and maybe you wanted him too.
No, Felix can’t happen again, you reason with yourself, biting your cheek. As much as your heart yearned for him, it could never beat with him again. He’d hurt you too much, and even if you did decide to forgive him, you could never fall back into his hold. The risk of getting hurt again was too high. Never again…
Fifteen minutes fly by before you know it. Chan stands at the head of the park grounds again, broad-shouldered and beautiful, and you won’t lie, you may have stared a little longer than you should’ve. “The round starts now! Someone from your team will come to tie your hands together with a silk rope—so no excuses to get out of it.”
Minho comes over, smiling mischievously, “Ah, the lovebirds tied together by the red string of faith once more,” he jokes, waving the red silk rope before tying your wrists together. You shoot him a half-hearted glare and he brings his hands up in surrender. “I'm kidding, I'm kidding.”
And from then on it's just the two of you again.
The past three days had their fair shares of strange encounters with Felix, but today was taking the cake. Within the first five minutes, you and Felix had accidentally gotten into the famous “kabedon” pose, him gently hovering over you with his hands on either side of your face because you'd pulled him too hard towards the flour shelf. Now, five minutes later, you were half leaning on Felix, chin just above his forearm, as he cut the strawberries into slightly thick slices.
It wasn't a very compromising or affectionate position, but it had been a while since you were practically hanging off of Felix like that. You thought it was a good idea, so he'd have more room to move his arm, but after feeling the effects of being in such proximity with Felix, you decided it was a dumb thought in general. Damn him for being so beautiful up close.
Soon enough, he starts the next step, and you begin your own work, which proves much more difficult than you originally anticipated. The both of you are tugging in different directions, yanking each other away from their task as you both try to complete your own.
You decide to pull a little harder than either of you had before, pulling his wrist to your side of the table, happy with the result. Felix's face hardens, and no matter how many adorable freckles he has, he still manages to look threatening. Not that you can tell, though, because you're too busy working with flour to receive that dandy texture you're going for.
You’re so preoccupied, you don't notice that he's about to tug his arm and yours back to his side until he's done it. The movement startles you and causes you to drop your ball of dough into a bowl of sugar, and you glare at him. He shrugs and continues molding his own, hiding his playful smirk.
You remove the sugar–which wasn’t too hard since the dough was relatively dry and not sticky—and continue kneading your ball into the shape you want, then just as you finish, you bump your hip into him. He drops his, and you shrug, trying to suppress your giggles. “Hey, I’m just getting you back since you dropped mine.”
He pokes his cheek with his tongue, unable to help his smile as his eyes turn to crescents happily. He hasn’t seen you genuinely smile at him in what feels like years, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t miss it, or that it didn’t make his heart palpitate three times faster. “Fair enough,” he watches you for an extra second, taking in the moment. His ball is finally in the shape of a disk too now, and you help each other wrap them in saran wrap and plop them into the fridge.
You start on the filling, and Felix takes to sitting beside you, doing absolutely nothing, so you can pretend your wrists aren’t currently conjoined. He decides now is a good time to observe you, leaning on his free hand to watch your features adoringly. If anyone were to look at you two, they’d probably think you two were the sweetest couple ever–except you’re not a couple anymore, and nobody was watching you two for anything other than keeping an eye out for cheaters.
Felix gazes at you so lovingly, he can’t even believe there was a time when he looked at you with spite—even if it was only a few days ago. He starts softly, nervously, “You look good, y’know… I’m sorry I wasn’t a good boyfriend towards the end of it. You were amazing to me, and I just… wasn’t.”
You try to stay focused, only nodding at him and quickly muttering something along the lines of, “The past is the past,” trying to convince both yourself and him of the line. You two happened, and now it was over—that was just the way it was. Now, you just needed to get to a place where you didn’t wish it wasn’t over.
“Yeah…” but what if I don’t want it to be? The words linger on his tongue, but he doesn’t say them. No, what does come out of his mouth is, “but I feel bad. I shouldn’t have treated you like that, or been a complete a-hole after breaking your heart, it wasn’t fair to you.”
You sigh, dropping your whisk and staring straight into his sparkly, rich brown eyes–a mistake on your part. With a deep breath, you say, “Felix, it happened, and I’m over it. Let’s just be friends, and forget about it, yeah?” Not that you’d be forgetting any of it, really—you just didn’t want to keep talking about this with him. “Please stop bringing it up, so we can move on from it.”
He nods hesitantly, frowning a bit. He wanted you to forgive him, and to forgive him, you needed closure, right?
You start to boil the custard filling and forget Felix’s hand is stuck to yours, despite the weight, and fail to warn him when you turn on the flame. Luckily, Felix’s skin is semi-sensitive, and he jumps away from the heat before it can do any real damage–besides the ghostly-burning feeling that hangs around his knuckles.
Unluckily for you—Felix could argue this was pretty good luck for himself—he accidentally yanks you back to, your weight tumbling back into a bag of flour and towards the ground. Just before you can fall to the floor, your body freezes midair, and you dare to peek out of your screwed shut eyes.
Felix hovers over you, lips just above yours and eyes boring into your [E/C] ones, and you’re breathless. He glances from your eyes to your lips, and thinks about what it would be like to kiss them again, to kiss you again. He searches your features for something—you don’t know what, but you know his face when he’s looking for something—and blinks, breaking the long, far too romantic stare for ex-lovers. “Are you okay?” His voice is low, and despite the words, he doesn’t sound extra worried. He sounds like he’s got a heavy heart, or he’s contemplating something.
His gaze makes you feel a way you never thought you’d feel because of Felix ever again, and you find yourself breathless. “… I-I’m fine,” you barely get out, your eyes still stuck on his, and you hate that you have the urge to kiss him. To be held by him, loved by him, to be his again. You almost want to curse with how hard your heart is beating.
You stay like that until you accidentally inhale some flour and burst into a coughing fit. Felix stands you up, wiping the flour you accidentally dropped on him off his face. His heart beats hard and fast, and he’s sure that if you quieted down enough, you’d hear how it thumped in his chest, for you.
Neither of you realize you’ve locked hands until you finally regain your composure, going back to boil the custard when you make sure he’s not close to the flame or the pot. It’s quiet until the mixture is finally ready five minutes later, and you ask Felix to whip some egg yolk for you as you carefully spoon one cup of the filling into the yolk-filled bowl with one hand, mixing them thoroughly before moving them to a saucepan.
It simmers for a bit while Felix whisks it constantly to thicken it up a bit more. Then, like the true baker he is, he wipes a bit off the whisk and tries it, marveling at the flavor. “Damn, this is pretty good!” He grins at you, gesturing for you to try the mixture as well.
You nod, picking up a bit from the whisk and trying it, humming proudly in response. He smiles at you, and adds the butter and vanilla, and stir until the butter melts entirely. He pours it into a perfectly sized bowl, covers it in plastic wrap—to stop a skin from forming—and places it in the refrigerator.
“And now we wait,” you sigh, leaning against the sink with Felix at your side.
He takes his chance to admire you once again, “You have flour all over you,” he laughs. Wetting a rag, he brings it to your face, wiping your cheeks and forehead, before quickly running it down your face. He bursts out into chuckles at your faux angry pout, “There you go, all clean!”
“You’re a menace, Lee Felix,” you mutter, wiping your face off gently and throwing the towel onto his face. He catches it, laughing heartily, and throws it beside him, enjoying this moment with you.
You catch yourself grinning, your heart racing in the most enjoyable way possible until you will it to calm down. Felix didn’t feel that way anyway, and you couldn’t break your resolve. Still, you can’t help but enjoy the feeling of being at peace with Felix, smiling and laughing.
“So… I was wondering–” A loud ding interrupts him, which he decides is for the better, considering the idiotic question he almost asks. Do you think we could get coffee together, sometime? Yeah. That hadn't been a good idea.
You two pull out the cake trays, allowing them to cool in the cooling rack for a few minutes before placing them on your table. With a smile, you roll off the cling wrap and hand Felix the custard. “Time for the fun part. Here, take this and spread it over the crusts, while I cut some fresh strawberries.”
“I cut some earlier, though, why are you cutting more?” He quirks his brow, wondering if you had just forgotten.
You give him a look, one that’s almost mischievous, and he knows you have some sort of baker-trick up your sleeve. “You did, and by the time the judges get to them, they’ll be super sweet. But, we want to blow their minds, so I’m also going to have some fresh ones mixed in. It’ll give it variety in both taste and texture!” You cheer, slicing through the strawberries.
Felix smiles, his eyes unable to look away from your grinning lips and determined eyes as he glosses the crusts with the filling. It had been so long—too long—since he’d been able to bake with you peacefully. How could he ever think to break up with you?
You both carefully line the strawberries up in a spiral motion on each tart, being sure to mix between the room temperature and fresh berries throughout the process. Then, you pull out a small jar, filled with an almost clear yet foggy liquid with a slight brown tint.
At first, your ex-boyfriend is beyond confused, and not just because it looked like piss. Then, a lightbulb goes off in his head and he understands the mystery liquid. Sugar-water syrup, made of both ordinary white sugar and brown sugar that had been mixed with water to form a syrup of the sort. “You baking genius,” he remarks, wide-eyed. He never would’ve thought of that.
You drizzle it artistically over your tart, then hand it to Felix. “I really am, huh?” you laugh, sprinkling the tiniest bit of salt to counter the natural bitterness in the crust while amplifying the best flavors. Then, like the professional you are, you dip your finger into the now useless bowl of custard, humming in delight as you sprinkle crushed pistachios over the delicacy. “And we’re done!”
You call over Hyunjin, urging him to try your tart, and he groans at the flavor. “You are quite possibly the most wife-material person I’ve ever met. I might have to slide you my number after this,” he jokes lightheartedly, and you laugh because no part of your little friendship was romantic at all.
“With that face and that attitude, I might have to slip you mine,” you laugh back, and he gives you an eye smile before happily trying Felix’s. Then Chan comes along, dimples and all, as he beams at you. “If it isn’t my favorite judge.”
Hyunjin throws an offended “Hey!” over his shoulder, which makes Chan shake softly in laughter. “And my favorite baker. Tell me, what do we have here?”
“Strawberry tarts, perfect for summer because of its cool temperature, and sweet flavor. Plus, I gave it a bit of a kick,” you boast your baking, proud of the response you’ve given and the one you received from Hyunjin earlier. “Tell me how you like it.”
Chan takes a large slice and bites nearly half of the slice off in one go. “Wow, this somehow tastes exactly like summer. Chan wants more.”
You cut another slice, and giggle at him, “So Chan speaks in the third person when he’s hungry, hm? Cute.”
He nods, taking another monstrous bite as he hops over to Felix, taking note of the slight glare the younger boy gives him. Yeji comes to your stand next, loving your food as she whispers that she’ll definitely vote for your victory. Oh, you have this competition in the bag.
Your competitors finish quickly after with a blueberry pie, which you’re sure is less than refreshing for a summer recipe.
Yeji gets up on stage, reading from a card as she gives that bright, show-biz beam. “Both teams have impressed us greatly, and it’s going to be a tough decision. Thankfully, we have one more round to decide the two bakery’s fates.”
“Like one of the first rounds, you will be making a signature dish,” Hyunjin stands beside her, tall and confident, “but, you will be recreating the signature dish your opponent made that round instead of picking your own.”
Chan is the last to step up. “Since you will be recreating these dishes, we are giving you the same amount of time the original bakers had in the first round. In other words, you have an hour and a half. Your teammates will bring you a card with the dish, plus the standard recipe, in a few minutes. When the buzzer goes off, the round begins.”
A few minutes was an overstatement, because Jisung and Jeongin rush over to you in what feels like seconds, shoving the recipe cards into your hands and running off. You glance at them, a carrot cake and a tuxedo cream dessert. Simple enough, you hope.
The buzzer rings loudly, and the final round begins.
“Okay, you take the tuxedo thing, and I’ll handle the carrot cake. Got it?” Felix orders, already pulling you towards the ingredients, sounding both stern and pumped. You don’t mean to, but your mind thinks about how attractive Felix is, covered in flour and all concentrated–probably because this was how you usually saw him while you were dating, and it was just messing with your heart again. He waves his hand in front of your eyes, waking you up to confirm the plan. “Are you cool with that plan?”
“Uh—yeah, totally!” You reply stiffly, rushing to hastily grab the ingredients, and you don’t notice how nobody dares to get too close to you. Felix was a great bodyguard, it seems.
You rush back to the table, your mini hand-held cart stocked with your ingredients, Felix trailing not far behind. You both unpack the carts and don’t dare to waste your baking time—mostly because you’re not too great at carrot cakes, and Felix had barely even heard of a tuxedo cream dessert.
Before you know it (aka fifteen minutes later), you've finished the cake part, and you slide the pan into the oven to bake for the next 40 minutes. As you start on the icing, you mix cream, butter, and cream cheese into a blender, then drop in the perfect amount of powdered sugar and blend it.
It would be delicious, sure, but would it win you the competition? After all, you were just making a simple carrot cake at this point–nothing special to guarantee that top spot. Naturally, you turn to the nearest person for their opinion, except that person is usually Minho or Changbin, and right now it’s Felix.
You tap him nervously, and blurt your question before you have the chance to back out of it, “How do you think I can make the cake special? I don’t want to be the reason we lose,” flushing red when you finish because you’ve become so vulnerable you actually care for Felix’s opinion.
He taps his cheek, then smiles. “I ate at their bakery once, and I remember they had some brown sugar in everything. So try that,” he thinks for a moment more, before raising his finger, “Drained pineapple and cinnamon are part of some recipes too!”
You bow slightly in gratitude, thanking him and moving to turn around when his hand comes to your hair. “Besides, there’s no way we’d ever lose because of you. You’re the best baker around, right?”
You flush, because Felix hasn’t complimented you like that since you started dating, and the sparkle in his eye makes your heart stop most amazingly. You nod, saying something like, “Duh!” in response, before you focus on your project.
Felix has never made a tuxedo cream dessert, and right now he wishes he were at home in his bed, clean and in fresh pajamas instead of sweating flour in a sticky apron. Still, even with his discomfort, being with you in a happy environment is enough to keep him persevering–he wanted first prize too, of course.
His boring wait is finally over after twenty minutes of allowing his gelatin creation to refrigerate. In a small saucepan, he brings one cup of cream and sugar to a simmer in the gelatin mixture, stirring it to help it dissolve nicely. When it does, he adds vanilla and some cream he prepared earlier in the round, mixing them beautifully before spooning in a chocolate layer.
Then it’s back to the refrigerator for the majority of the round as he works on blending purée strawberries with sugar and brown sugar, using the tip he gave you to spice up his work a bit. He’ll also be adding whip cream later, so he’s confident in your team.
With the spare time, he thinks about how he wants to change your current relationship. It was cool that you two were friends again, but he’s rapidly learning that he doesn’t want to be just friends with you again. He had already gone down this road back in his shy days of avoiding asking you out, and he wasn’t getting stuck in the friendzone because of his cowardice.
But, is he ready to move forward with you again?
And more importantly, are you?
What if you didn’t really love him anymore, and you just said that to Chan because of the moment? What if you just rejected him for the jerk he’d been? What if–
He stops his thoughts, because this was exactly how he used to coax himself out of confessing. He’d give all the (bad) outcomes, and decide he had no chance, and your love was once again postponed. If he asked for another chance, and you said no, he didn’t have much to lose other than his pride and dignity—though, after his behavior, he didn’t have much of either left.
It’s almost jarring how quickly the last round seems to go by because you recall the first had felt at least a good thirty minutes longer, but a perfect hour and a half after the first blaring, the buzzer goes off once more.
You and Felix manage to finish just in time, but you two aren’t nervous because Hole in One Doughnuts seems to have barely finished your three recipes.
They judge the rookies first, building up your anticipation and nerves when you see the team smile. Then, the judges come your way, asking about the recipe, and how you both managed to get such a killer flavor when cooking the other team’s dishes and adding your own flair.
Chan leans towards your face, rubbing your cheek. “Seriously, I think I’ll have to marry you if it means I get to eat this good,” he flirts, then backs off, hands raised in surrender at Felix’s glare. “Don’t worry, Sprinkles, I’m not trying to steal your partner.”
You snicker at the nickname to hide your flusteredness, but you can’t help but feel a sense of pride wash over you at the thought of Felix still caring for you as you did him. It didn’t matter if he did—obviously… right? You were just… curious. Note the uncertainty in your inner statements. Please.
“As we announced earlier, we will be giving the final verdicts tomorrow. For now, please feel free to pack up and head home for the day! Thank you all for coming, and remember, you may interact with the bakers, but you are not allowed to crowd them, or you’ll be escorted off the premises. Have a great day,” Chan states sternly, before switching to English and using his thick Australian accent to translate for himself.
He hops off the stage not long after, heading to you with his buff arms and charming smiles. You grin too, cleaning hurriedly. “Hey Chan, how’s the best judge ever doing?” You say, using a tone that lets him know what you’re getting at.
“It almost hurts that you’re buttering me up, just to win,” he chuckles, lifting one of the heavy boxes as you two fall into conversation as if Felix isn’t even there. This must’ve been what it was like to be stuck in a room with him and Mina. “Anyway, we don’t know yet either. We have to discuss it, so you’ll just have to wait like everyone else.”
You pout at him, handing him another heavy box to put in the truck. “Eh, it was worth a shot.”
Before you can put another box into Chan’s beautifully toned arms, Felix appears in front of you, taking the heavy container and putting it into the truck with faux ease. He wanted to appear as if he could do what Chan could effortlessly, even if it took a lot of effort in reality. “I’m sure we’ll win, [Y/N].”
You shudder at how rich and smooth his voice is, and you’re reminded of how it was so easy to fall in love with. Recovering quickly, you nod, stuffing another box closed and placing it in Felix’s arms—he practically lifted it off the table—and smiles. “Yeah, I mean, the bakery had a great run this year.”
The younger boy tries to hide his disappointment—he meant that you two would win because you were a great pair, not because the bakery just had talented bakers—and thankfully, he succeeds. With a nod, his eyes become sideways moons. “Yep, so it doesn’t matter how much you bribe Mr. Bang over here.”
Chan rolls his eyes and gives you a look that says, “Is he serious right now?” as you two watch Felix use all his mighty strength to just barely get the last box into the truck. You nod, barely concealing your giggles when he turns around. Chan stares at you for a moment, before he finally decides, “Hey, can I talk to you privately for a moment?”
You nod, opening your mouth to say yes, when Felix suddenly revs the truck, “Hey, we really have to get going.”
You sigh, hugging Chan and giving him an apologetic smile as to say, “Next time”, though he knows that was his shot and he failed to shoot it. “See you tomorrow, Chan!” you throw over your shoulder as you jog to the passenger side, climbing in.
Felix sits there awkwardly, chewing his cheek as he contemplates his words. With a deep, scared breath, he starts, “He was going to ask you out.”
You stare at him, “No he wasn’t, Chan and I are just friends,” you argue, eyebrows furrowed. Chan wasn’t into you that way, right? Besides, why was Felix so concerned?
Felix nods his head, “He was. I know when a guy’s going to ask a girl out. It was obvious with how he looked at you,” like I used to, he finishes his sentence in his head, sighing audibly. “He likes you.”
You shake your head. “No, he doesn’t.”
Felix shrugs, then turns to meet your eyes. “If he did ask you out, would you have said yes?”
The mood you two had going on earlier, light and fluffy–like a cloud–had disappeared, instead replaced with this fog of seriousness that made both of you feel unsettled.
You search Felix’s face, as he does yours, and you wonder how you forgot how his freckles looked like stars on his cheeks with imaginary constellations. Looking from one of his eyes to the other, you shake your head. “No.”
Felix can’t help the smile that ghosts over his face, and his eyes are so much brighter and filled with that emotion you hadn’t felt from him in so long.
“Why?” Now it’s your turn to ask the questions, except the air around you isn’t as suffocating anymore. “Why don’t you want me to go out with Chan?”
He holds in his breath, eyes slowly dropping from yours to your nose, chin, then his lap–his head falling a bit as well. He obviously knows why, it’s so blatant that he’s almost completely sure you know why too, the innocent and curious look in your optics the only thing telling him otherwise. “Because I-I…” He doesn’t get the words out and changes his answer. Maybe he wasn’t as ready as he thought. “I just don’t think he’s a good fit for you.”
You scoff. “You don’t get to have an opinion on that, Felix,” you remind him. What was up with him thinking he had any sort of authority over your relationship?
He starts the car, turning up the radio to a low pop song. He wants to ease the mood, make you laugh, or smile. He wants to say he still loves you. So he cracks a joke, “What does the baking soda say when he gets sad?” He waits for your confused shrug. “I'm sodapressed.”
You can’t help the snort you let out from suppressing your laughter. Felix feels thankful for the cheesy joke website he stumbled across a few days ago, because it allowed him to make you glow. “Jeez, that was so corny.”
“I’m just trying my best to make you loaf,” he says so smoothly that you don’t realize he’s made yet another pun until you think about his words, covering your mouth to hide your giggling fit. You weren’t one for cheesy jokes, but they were funny sometimes. “Hey, don’t cover your mouth, you’re pretty when you smile.”
He doesn’t realize what he said, focused too much on driving, but you do. It’s not the first time he’d told you those words, and you get the same fluttery feeling in your heart.
“Hey, don’t cover your mouth, you’re pretty when you smile.” He moved your palm down from your face. You were in your senior year of high school, and he had yet to ask you out.
You had flushed, giggling girlishly at his action. You had gotten used to covering your mouth because you were self-conscious about your smile, but Felix made that all melt away.
“There’s that beautiful smile!”
He asked you out later that day.
You had arrived at the bakery earlier than usual, taking the orders of the regulars. It had been a while since you’d worked an early shift–you weren’t even completely sure you were allowed to, but you’d missed it.
Minho arrives a quarter of an hour after you, pleased to see you, you assume from how he grins at you. “Nice to see you here early. Unless you’re working extra because of that polka-dotted ex of yours.” You can tell he’s still joking, so you laugh.
“Nope, I’m here of my own free will!” You grin, before thinking, “Actually, I don’t think he’s here yet.”
Minho nods as if that explains the bakery’s peace.
Not long after, Felix arrives, confused at the sight of you in your apron. You immediately freeze—forgetting about your mended relationship, your fight, or flight response activating because of the environment. It's almost as if you thought he'd just snap the moment he was in the bakery with you—but then again, that was the only way you'd seen him at the bakery for months now.
Felix notices your stiff behavior and drooping head, trying to make your hair cover your face as you continue working. So he does the most logical thing in his opinion—walking up to you to say hi.
“Hey [Y/N], good morning!” He smiles, hand on your head, gently petting your hair. He senses your uncertainty, and frowns, “I'm not mad, and you're not in trouble… I'm not like that anymore.” Read: I'm not a jerk who tries to deny his love for you anymore.
Your shoulders relax a bit, and you girl your head up to meet his eyes, your nerves disappearing when he smiles genuinely at you. “Yeah… right,” you chuckle, letting out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.
Usually, Felix would just head to his office, work on some paperwork or bake in the back, but today he decides to mix it up. Today, he decides to change into his apron, and join you at the front, placing out cupcakes and muffins in the displays. He stays beside you, helping you take orders and giving you those shy, blushing smiles you hadn’t seen since before he asked you out.
Calm down, heart!
Of course, it doesn’t listen to you, continuing to palpitate double-time every time Felix looks at you.
You two keep that positive attitude, up until there are less than ten minutes before you all have to leave for the park, and Jeongin’s nowhere to be seen. Still, you know he’ll be there on time, so you don’t worry too much, at least not about that. Instead, you worry about after this competition. Would Felix go back to being a jerk once it was over? Would he hate you if you lost?
You’re stressing, hanging around, waiting for Jeongin to hurry up and arrive. Of course, you’re calmer than Felix, who’s yelling into his phone, enraged. His freckles are almost red with how furious he is.
“You have five minutes, or I swear, I don’t care how much our friendship means, I’m firing you!” He growls, and if it wasn’t so threatening and downright terrifying, it would be so damn attractive. “Don’t you dare disappoint me, Jeongin.”
He roughly clicks off the phone, slamming it down onto the truck hood. He runs his hand through his soft locks, tugging at them in hopes to relieve some stress—to no avail. When his eyes droop closed, only then do you realize how the circles under his eyes are darker than usual, and the color in his cheeks isn’t as golden as it usually is. Was he sick? Sleep-deprived?
You can’t help it when you shuffle over to him, “Hey, he’ll be here, don’t worry,” your soft, quiet voice trying to give him the reassurance you knew he needed.
He stares down at you in awe, and he hopes you can’t hear his heart pummeling in his chest. His eyebrows relax, their harsh arch disappearing under your gaze, and his scowl fades, instead replaced with wide eyes and barely parted lips. You’re so close to him, looking at him with those big, sparkly eyes of yours, and he thinks maybe Jeongin running late and getting pissed to the point his ears had turned red, might’ve been good luck in disguise.
He releases the breath he didn’t know he was holding, he nods, holding back his smile at the way you look concerned for him. How was he ever able to let you go? “Yeah, I know… Thanks.” He grins softly, flushing under your gaze.
You pat his shoulder gently, nodding. “Relax then,” you laugh, sensing his stiffness. He chuckles, and releases his tense shoulders, “There we go.”
He thinks, maybe now is a good time to pop the question. You’re both in good moods, and you seem to be giving him positive attention, those were good signs, right? He goes for it, taking a deep, shy breath before starting, “Hey, [Y/N]—” but starting is all he’s able to do, before he’s interrupted.
“I’m here! I’m on time!” The fox-like boy yells, out of breath and sweaty as he arrives. Ironically, the freckled baker thinks his timing is horrible, despite being there in two minutes out of the allotted five.
The shorter brunet nods disappointedly, “Fantastic. Everyone on board, we have less than twenty minutes to arrive on time. Otherwise, we lose by default.”
At that, everyone gets into their respective vehicles (trucks, cars, Han’s bike), and heads to the park. The ride is faster, Felix driving as fast as possible within legal limits, and you can’t help but think about how adorable he looks, concentrated seriously and dressed in a soft off-white apron with “Yellow Wood Cafékery” printed on it in yellow-brown vinyl. You’d never seen someone look both intimidating and sweet at the same time.
You two come to a red light, and Felix builds up his courage once more, pink cheeks and shaky voice in all, “So I was wonde—”
You slap his shoulder rapidly, “Hey, green light! Drive!” unaware of what he was about to ask you. Maybe that bit of luck he had earlier with you was the last of his supply. He sighs, stepping on the pedal and refocusing on the road, deciding his confession could wait.
It’s not more than five minutes when you two arrive, the others trailing behind you. There’s no time to waste as you rush up to the crickety, old stage, standing side by side with Felix, Han, Changbin, Jeongin, and Minho, the other bakery across from you. This was it, you’d finally know who won this year’s competition.
Hands interlocked, you all stand side-by-side, and you try not to think about how Felix’s fingers are almost interlocked with yours. Instead, you focus your attention on Chan and his beautiful bare face that you’re seeing for the first time. How could someone look so stunning without makeup on?
Chan feels your gaze and turns back to wink at you—a gesture that you’re accustomed to by now with how often he does it—-and smiles. He waits for you to give him one back, and once you do, he faces the front of the stage once more, taking his microphone simultaneously as the other two judges.
“Welcome back Bakers and our esteemed audience! Our annual competition has finally come to the end of this year’s season. We started with five bakeries, and cut it down to our two finalists. Give it up for Hole in One Doughnuts—this year’s extra-talented rookies—and Yellow Wood—our always surprising returning competitors,” Yeji announces animatedly, her smile radiating off the stage so brightly the front row can barely see.
Chan lifts his mic to his lips next, “After hours of comparison, contemplation, and decision-making, we’ve finally come to an agreement. But,” he pauses, “Before we get to that, we’d like to give a few observations we made throughout this past week.”
He turns to the other team first, greeting them quickly before starting his evaluation, “I don’t think any of us were expecting rookies in the top two, but you all surprised us. We’re glad to see how far you’ve come, and wish you the best of luck after this competition, with the hopes that we helped get your names out there a little more.”
They all nod, and you honestly hope they win for a few seconds. Then they all bow to Chan, thanking him for his kind words, and it’s Yellow Wood’s turn.
You feel a slight pressure on your hand, and you realize Felix is trying to reassure you, and that you had started to fidget with his fingers subconsciously out of nervousness. You squeeze him back, signaling something between “I’m fine” and “thank you”.
Chan steps in front of you, giving you his perfect eye smile that makes you wish you could fall in love with him. Unfortunately, he’s just too good to be true, and your heart seems to know that, as you don’t feel anything more than a slight crush for him. “Yellow Wood Cafékery has always been regarded as unique for its food and concepts, and it’s proved itself worthy of the good words once again. We hope we get to see you for a long time, inside and out of the competition.”
You all bow in thanks, and watch as Yeji passes Hyunjin the “Letter of Truth”. He opens it gracefully, staring happily at the words, “We are happy to announce that Yellow Wood has won once again, and will be receiving this year’s check of twenty-thousand dollars, as well as complimentary kitchenware, and an article about their win in the newspaper. As our second-place winners, Hole in One Doughnuts…”
You don’t hear the rest over the cheering crowd and your overjoyed teammates as you all jump around, hugging each other in glee. Say goodbye to the creaky bathroom floorboards and hello to the check bonus you always get after a win. You’re so caught up in the moment that it's only after he spins you around twice and hugs you to his chest that you realize Felix has separated from your group slightly.
His chest heaves from the exertion of spinning you in the air, and he’s too happy to care. “We won! If it weren’t for you, we couldn’t have done this. I’m so happy I could kiss you!” He beams, unable to hold in his pure feelings of love and happiness.
You freeze up in his arms, suddenly noticing how close you two truly are and how Felix seems to be leaning in. Closer and closer…
… Until he’s stopped for what feels like the millionth time today by your coworkers, who run to tackle you two in a tight bear-hug.
You can’t get how his lips were practically centimeters from each other out of your head, though. You had promised yourself that you wouldn’t go back down this road with Felix, but you wanted to, so, so badly. You wanted to push Han’s shoulders out of your way and pull those freckled cheeks to yours and just love Felix again.
But you don’t. You just watch him laugh and smile in accomplishment with expressions you know you’re making as well. You’d all worked so hard, and what better reward than it all paying off in the end?
Changbin whoops chaotically, barely catching his breath as he struggles to get his words out, “Do… D’you guys… wanna… eat out tonight…? I’m paying…!” all of you laughing at his lack of air in unison. Of course, none of you are about to turn down free food, especially because you all knew that Changbin was practically loaded.
——
Two hours later, you’ve all changed into more comfortable and presentable clothes. You all decide to carpool into two cars, Changbin with Minho and Jeongin, and Han driving you and Felix.
Felix feels his heart leap out his chest when he pulls up to your apartment complex, the familiar setting giving him butterflies. It gets even worse for him as you descend the stairs, jogging to the curb, dressed in your almost skinny jeans and a cropped t-shirt that fit you perfectly.
“Hi…” He flushes, breathless. You're not in anything fancy, but it had been so long since he'd seen you dressed casually with your hair and makeup done that he's completely enamored at the sight of you.
Jisung snickers in the back at Felix's pink cheeks, “Wow Felix, I haven't seen you look so flustered in a long time!” The boy's faux innocent tone eliciting a hearty giggle from you and a glare from Felix. “Hi [Y/N]!”
“Hey guys,” you smile, sliding into the passenger seat comfortably. You mentally thank Jeongin for giving it up, so you could sit in it. You may or may not check Felix out as well, wondering when he decided to get so toned that you could almost see his abs through his t-shirt.
Felix smiles as he notices you looking him up and down, deciding that if nothing else, you at least had some appreciation for his looks. “You ready to go?” and with a nod from you, Han revs the engine, taking off toward the restaurant,
Although everything is so different right now, he can’t help but remember your first date—before he had a car and his mom drove you both around. Your first date had been nothing extravagant; just a simple diner and worn-out jeans, but as two broke high school students, you thought it was the best. He remembers how you were too shy to hold his hand during the free screening of “Grease” at the park. If he could only turn back time…
Clearing the thoughts from his mind, he shakes his head. He can’t turn back time, so there’s no use in thinking like that. What he can do, however, is ask you for a second chance. He just hopes you’ll say yes.
You never really realized how loaded Changbin must be until you pull up to a Michelin-star rated restaurant and the men at the front are valet drivers. Why was he working at a bakery when he could afford this without breaking a sweat? “Wow, this place is… flashy. But, like, in all the right ways. I feel like I’m in a palace or something,” you gush, eyes sparkling at the intricately designed white walls and live classical orchestra.
Felix nods beside you, “Yeah, I think I’m underdressed,” he jokes, running a hand through his hair. A receptionist approaches you shortly, and he gives her the name of the hour, “Seo Changbin, party of six,” his voice smooth and deep, but you can hear the slight discomfort you associate with feeling almost out of place in this luxurious place. The lady nods, checking her list and guiding you all to an empty table by the windows, but not before sending Felix a more than friendly wink.
You shake your head at her not-so-subtle flirting, but seat yourself anyway. You were not going to get worked up over Felix, and you were not going to let the waitress’s flirting ruin your night.
The table has a gold chain chandelier you’re sure costs no less than four-thousand dollars on its own. The table itself is decorated from the legs up with intricate wood carvings and subtle marks of a metallic sheen, giving it a unique look of both metal and dark sepia wood. While the table-top is glazed in resin, an enhanced wooden pattern showing through the clear substance.
You look through one of the menus, gulping at the prices, before remembering that this won’t even dent Changbin’s wallet and ordering what your heart desires. You’d baked so much, it felt way too good for someone else to be cooking for you for a change. It’s only when you hear a familiar “Hey, [Y/N]!” that you tear your eyes from the pricey and absolutely gorgeous gourmet food.
“Chan? Hey! What’re you doing here?” Missing the way Felix’s expression drops at the other Australian’s arrival, you jump out of your seat. Of course, Chan just had to be here too, he thinks. You’re rather excited to see him, though, tugging him to sit with you.
The male chuckles and takes a seat beside you, waving at both Felix and Jeongin before answering, “The other judges and I always eat here after the competition. They’re just taking a while to get out of the car. Something about needing a better hair part or something,” and that makes you snort in utter amusement. “I didn’t expect to see you guys here, though. I mean, this place is super expensive.”
You nod, “We know. Luckily, we have a pretty rich friend treating us all to dinner tonight.”
Chan nods in understanding, about to leave when you stop him, “Do you guys want to join us? We have a few extra seats with your names on them.”
Please say no, please say no, please say no… The younger man’s thoughts yell. He had a foolproof plan, and now that Chan was here, he might as well toss it down the drain. Now Chan had the chance to ask you out, and Felix couldn’t stop him.
Despite his desperate pleas, the judge shrugs, and nods while muttering something along the lines of, “Sure, why not?”
Because I don’t want you flirting with the love of my life right beside me, Felix growls mentally. He backtracks for a second and scowls at the slightly shorter Australian when he realizes just how much he still loved you. If only he had better timing and had never left you, you’d be kissing him lovingly or holding his hand right in front of Chan’s annoyingly handsome face.
Regardless of his mental begging, Chan stays seated beside you, falling into conversation with you so easily that Felix is almost jealous. But, he wants to show you only his positive sides and tries to ignore it, playing a game on his phone instead to distract him. He doesn’t even notice Changbin’s arrival until they’re sitting in front of him and ordering. “Oh, I didn’t see you guys come in. Are you sure this is where we want to eat?”
They nod, your less than rich friends sending him silent death stares—they didn’t want to miss out on the chance to eat food they were otherwise unable to afford. “Yeah, I’m sure. Why? Do you not like it here?”
It’s only when Felix realizes that Yeji and Hyunjin are there too that he knows he’s not getting out of this situation—the situation being you stuck in a conversation with Chan that would likely last the entire night. He sighs, “No, this place looks great. I was just making sure.”
A Michelin-star restaurant was quite the experience, to say the least. Your drinks were constantly filled, and your plates were made to perfection in both taste and presentation. You were almost positive they had robot chefs at this point. “Wow, this is amazing!” You cheer, mouth stuffed full of naengmyeon, humming at the taste.
Felix beams at your happy expression, and for once, he doesn’t feel threatened or insecure around you, or anyone else for that matter. He doesn’t care that Chan stares at you the same way he does, or that you’re laughing with the others. All he feels is complete euphoria with just being around you—and he looks down at his lap, still grinning to himself.
And the dinner continues like that, light-hearted and friendly… until Hyunjin gets the bright idea to play truth or dare.
Now, you’d originally said no because who wants to play that childish game, right? Unfortunately, your entire table was curious about everyone’s darkest secrets and how far each other would go to complete a dumb dare. Who knew all your friends were fifth graders?
“… I dare Changbin to throw this dinner roll into that woman’s purse,” Jeongin snickers, pointing to a random, unsuspecting old woman’s fancy purse.
Changbin shrugs his shoulders, picking up a roll, aiming, and tossing it into her bag perfectly. With a proud smirk, he turns to you, “[Y/N], truth or dare?”
You freeze up, not only surprised he chose you, but startled because you were hoping to stay out of the game for longer than three rounds. preferring not to get kicked out of the restaurant, you settle with truth. “Truth.”
His eyes dart to Minho’s for a split second, but you catch it and quirk your brow, about to interrogate him when he stops you. “Are you in love with anyone?” The table erupts in a chorus of oohs, and you flush. So that’s why he looked at Minho—that punk. You shake your head no, but nobody believes your low-effort lie. “Ah ah ah, you chose truth, don’t lie to us.”
You glare at the second eldests, and sigh, nodding, “I am.”
Jisung pipes up, and you’re almost sure that your coworkers were born solely to be the banes of your existence, “With who?”
Your eyes instinctively glance at Felix, and you curse them for that when you hear Han and Changbin make sounds of realization, while the rest of your table stares at you expectantly. You shift uncomfortably, stammering, not ready to reveal your feelings, “Uh… um…”
“C’mon [Y/N], it’s not like we’ll make fun of you,” Minho pushes, his sly smirk making you wish you were anywhere else because you just know he knows. “Is it—”
“You already asked her a question,” Felix blurts, but his deep voice masks the awkward tone it carries. He clears his throat, “Changbin already asked her a question, she answered. It’s her turn to ask now.”
You secretly thank him, because you didn’t know what you would do had Minho finished. You could practically hear him taunting you with Felix’s name. Even if now was a good time to get revenge on one of your annoying, pain-in-the-behind friends, you’re tired of their childish antics and you’d be damned if you weren’t beginning to miss your bed. “Actually guys, I think I’m gonna head out. I’ll see you all at the baker tomorrow.”
They all frown, hugging you goodbye—save for Chan, Felix, Hyunjin, and Jeongin—and wishing you a safe trip. Felix can’t help but think it’s his fault you're leaving as his eyes trail after your figure. He doesn’t even notice Han’s curious voice talking to him until they wave a hand in front of his face, “Truth or dare?”
He barely mumbles truth, his vision still trained on your slowly fading shadow around the corner, and doesn’t hear the question as he grabs his jacket, throws down a few bills, and heads out after you. He does, however, hear the table’s wolf whistles that make him flush.
He jogs after you, sighing in relief when he sees that you’re okay, and offers his jacket to you. You jump, startled, a hand on your chest and the other in a fist, ready to square up with whoever wanted to try you. “Felix! You scared the crap out of me!”
His resonant laugh fills the cool air around you, and he motions the jacket towards you once more. “Aren’t you cold? Your sleeves are pretty short,” he urges, unfolding the article and placing it gently over your shoulders.
You pick at your nails, nodding, hoping your cheeks aren’t as red as they are warm, “Thanks, but what are you doing out here? Why aren’t you in the restaurant?” confusion overtaking your tone as you stroll beside him. You almost forgot how tall Felix looked beside you.
He shrugs his shoulders, lacing his arms behind his head in a carefree way, unintentionally flexing his gorgeous arms you had yet the pleasure of staring at. “I wanted to walk you home,” he says honestly, his eyes sparkling in the moonlight. “It’s fine if I do, right?”
Arms crossing to hold his jacket tighter on your shoulders as you enjoy the warmth and shyly bask in his scent, you nod a bit too quickly. It was almost like you two were together again. You let out a gusty bit of air, loosening your hold a bit, your gentle smile waning at the recollection that you two aren’t close friends, lovers, or anything besides exes who came to a recent truce, and you remind yourself of your “No More Felix” resolution—meaning no more Felix romantically, of course.
You stare at the concrete under your shoes, kicking rocks as you walk atop it. “Hey Felix, what did you pick in there?”
“Hm?”
“I heard Han ask you truth or dare, what did you pick?” you clarify, biting the inside of your cheek as you peer up at him, scanning his face for something.
He thinks for a moment and snaps his fingers when he remembers his half-conscious response, “Truth. Why?”
“What did they ask you?”
“I don’t know,” he studies your expression, puzzled by your sudden interest in the game he recalled you saying was “immature and dramatic” once while you two were dating in college. “Do you want to ask me something?”
You nod. “Why did we break up? I know you answered this before but… that was a lie, right?” Is that genuine hope in your voice, in your eyes? What are you hoping for? He wonders if his answer will let him know.
He sighs, smacking his throat with his palm whilst clearing it. “I…” he trails off, eyes directed at the sky as his mind turns up empty because, in truth, he had no idea. He’d never thoroughly thought about why before, always giving half-baked answers and chalking it up to the most common reasons, but none of them were true.
Despite the bumps and difficulties, everything was still just as good as it was when you two started dating. So then, why had he done it?
He sucks in a breath, searching every inch of his brain until the rumors come back up. He never paid them too much attention because he knew they weren’t true, but something about them tugged at his chest in an extremely uncomfortable way.
Most of them had surrounded him and Mina, some bakers suggesting that he had either left you for her, or that he was going behind your back. And while they were untrue, they always made him question your relationship—or more accurately, question whether you were still confident in him. He always had the nagging feeling that you believed part of the rumors, that you had less trust in him than when they first arose, and one day he snapped when he heard a new one.
Someone had been whispering about you and one of the baristas being into each other, and that you were only holding back because you were loyal to Felix, and he couldn’t take it anymore.
No matter how hard he tried to forget, not to think about it and told himself it was just gossip, he couldn’t get any of it out of his mind. This… insecurity of his was deeply rooted in him from the start, and he concluded that ending your relationship would be better than being surrounded by tidbits and scandals.
You sigh loudly, kicking a stone into the storm drain beside you, “You don’t have to answer. I mean, you saved me from answering back there, so you have no obligations to.”
He pulls himself out of his thoughts, watching the ground with shiny eyes—the guilt and anxiety from his assessment bringing up bottled and buried emotions. He swallows deeply, “Let’s make a deal. If I answer your question, I get to ask you something. Deal?”
You stop walking, still in your spot a few steps ahead of where his feet were grounded firmly on the sidewalk, hands tucked in his pockets and eyes fixed on you. You nod slowly, your curiosity outweighing whatever he may ask, “Deal.”
“I broke up with you because of the rumors,” he starts, fingers pulling at the loose threads inside his jeans. “I thought that maybe you didn’t trust me anymore because of them—or that you wouldn’t eventually. And there was one about you and some guy, and I just broke. I knew none of them were true, but I thought that maybe it would be easier to end it all by ending us… Long story short, I was insecure about where we stood with each other.” He finally finishes, sounding almost mournful. He wipes his eyes, drying them before a tear has a chance to slip out, and breathes in a calming way.
You nod, knowing that it was no longer a mystery to you why your first love broke your heart. You take a small step towards him, rubbing your hands over your arms from the chilly breeze that gushes over you. “You know I never doubted you or us for a second, right? The rumors bugged me too, but I knew they were just lies someone made up.”
He nods, smiling bitter-sweetly because he’s both enthralled by the way you stare at him and humiliated to admit why he ruined the best thing he ever had. With a sniffle, he starts again, “I know, thanks.”
“So, what did you want to ask me?” you wonder out loud, restarting your relaxed trek to your not too far apartment.
He prepares himself and opens his mouth to ask when a car skirts by, honking loudly as to warn you that he may accidentally steer off the road—and considering his pace, you both jump back, Felix shielding your body beneath his without a second thought. When the engine’s loud roaring finally fades out, you two separate, chests thumping from exhilaration.
You hold your hands to your chest, right above your heart, and let out a loud breath, laughing, “Sorry, I didn’t catch that. Can you repeat your question?” adrenaline still pumping through your veins as you grin and huff, all but excited from your close encounter. Call yourself crazy, but hearing someone speed by you with their music blasting was one way to get your heart pumping.
Felix shakes his head, “I’ll ask you later. For now, let’s get away from this street,” chuckling and running down the street with you next to him, real smiles on both your faces.
You two throw short stories and odd memories with each other the entire way to your building, not even batting an eye as you trod up the stairwell to your apartment in the corner of the hall until you see the large, bold numbers above your door.
“So…” you sway back and forth on the balls of your feet, “I guess this is the end of our little walk, huh?”
Felix nods, his cheeks in pain from smiling so much in the fifteen minutes you two took to walk you home, “Yeah… I guess it is.”
“Well, I had a lot of fun hanging out with you. I’m really happy we’re on good terms with each other now,” you muse, unlocking your door and standing in the doorway. “Oh, we almost forgot. You still have your question.”
He gives you a soft look, and steps closer to you, hands retracting from their denim confines and twiddling each other’s thumbs as his lips part in an awkward laugh. “This is kind of a weird question… but do you think we’d work out if we gave it another shot?”
Your eyes widen more than Felix believed humanly possible, and he’s about to take back his question when you respond, “I don’t know… but I’d like to think we would,” cheeks rosy as you look into his dark, cocoa-colored irises. To heck with your “No More Felix” resolution. Your heart didn’t want to listen to you anyway.
He closes the gap between you two, looming over you like he had so many times while angry—except this time he’s nervous and giddy like a teenager. Licking his lips and releasing one more nervous giggle, he finally pushes out, “Would you go out on a date with me? I promise I won’t mess it up again, if you give me one more chance.” His eyes are big and begging.
You nod, and he hesitantly places his hands on your biceps, checking your face for any looks of disapproval. When he doesn’t find any, he leans in, finally taking your lips in his for the first kiss he’d had since you broke up.
It’s sweet, innocent even, yet slow and full of emotions—mostly positive ones that give Felix the confidence to wrap his arms around your back and hold you close, smiling into the kiss. Eventually, you two pull apart—courtesy of Felix’s uncontrollable giggles and grins.
Instinctively, your finger comes up to graze your bottom lip, and you pinch yourself to make sure this isn’t a dream you’d wake up from in the morning. The tiny sensation of pain tells you it’s real, and you silently squeal in happiness. Maybe you didn’t mind being hung up on Felix anymore.
His hands are still on yours, where they’d found warmth sometime within your kiss, and he gradually releases them, sighing in content. “Well, I’ll pick you up at five tomorrow… See you then!” he kisses your forehead one last time before he turns to leave, covering that spot that used to remind you of painful memories, ready to replace them with new ones.
You wave to him girlishly, the same feelings from your high school years of crushing on him taking over your personality as you nod cheerily, “Okay! Goodnight!” waiting for his jovial response of “Goodnight [Y/N]!” before shutting your door and sliding down the back like in all those rom-coms.
At the sound of your shut door, he allows himself to jump and punch the air in victory, his eyes squishing into sideways parentheses in bliss.
He’d have to thank Seungmin for knocking some sense into him.
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The Night Shift Part 1 (F!Reader x Frankie Morales)
Summary: Frankie has taken the job as the overnight cook at Lou’s Diner, where you work as the overnight waitress. Attraction slowly grows between you, despite both your best efforts. (18+ series)
Warnings: None for this part
Tags: Slowburn, diner romance, age gap (7 years)
Word count: 1.1k
Part 2
It was a slow night at Lou's Diner. But then again, Tuesday’s were usually pretty slow. There was only one customer, a night construction worker who had been coming in for the past three weeks for a bacon and egg sandwich. You watched at the clock ticked past 3:34AM, contemplating if it would be a good idea to have another cup of coffee. Your shift finished at 5:30, when the day crew came and the breakfast rush was just getting started. Can’t hurt, you reasoned with yourself, grabbing your favourite mug. The employees of the diner had their own mugs separate from the customers - most of them were old and had stains that couldn’t be washed out.
“Hey, Manny, wanna coffee?” you called into the kitchen to the night cook. Manny was your only co-worker after 9, when everyone else left for the night. But it was his last night, and you hadn’t met his replacement yet.
“You know how I like it, lover!” he called back. The nickname had become his favourite for you after a rumour swirled saying you and him were fucking in the chiller. Manny put that right to rest after introducing everyone to his husband.
You made up a mug for each of you, adding five spoons of sugar for his. You had asked him once why he didn’t just have a soda if he wanted that much sugar, and Manny had told you that soda made him gassy in an unsatisfying way. You decided not to prod any further.
“Have you met the new guy?” Manny asked through the window as you set the steaming cup down upon it. You shook your head.
“Have you?”
“Yeah, I had to show him some night procedures last week. He’s not too bad, a quick learner. Easy on the eyes. Not as good as me, so don’t get any ideas about replacing me as number one diner cook in your heart.” Manny winked.
“Number one diner cook and now number one history teacher.” You grinned at him, swelling with pride that his hard work had paid off and now he was going off to his dream job. Many nights working together, quizzing him on various aspects of whatever he was studying. “What’s the newbie’s name?”
“Francisco,” Manny said, “but he said to call him Frankie.”
You nodded, filing the information for later. You didn’t think too much about Manny’s other comment - easy on the eyes. Honestly, with Manny that could mean anything.
You spent the rest of your shift the way you usually did, cleaning and dealing with friendly old men who sometimes felt a little too friendly. You mostly let it slide, they tipped better when you flirted back, but sometimes the men felt a little too slimy.
The first rays of grey pre-dawn light started to peek through the windows and the breakfast rush began. You didn’t think of much beyond making it through the next half hour, and making sure you didn’t fuck any orders up.
Your saving grace was Marissa tapping you gently on your shoulder.
“Time to head out, kiddo,” the older woman said. Marissa was your second favourite person at the diner, and you felt it had a lot to do with the fact she was the person to end your shift. That, and she reminded you of your grandmother. You didn’t waste a second, giving Marissa a quick kiss on her cheek and taking your nametag off.
Manny was waiting for you outside in the back alley, cigarette in one hand and car keys in the other.
“Come on, lover, let’s get you home.” He linked his arm through yours and you walked to his car together. He had affectionately dubbed it Carrie, after Carrie Fisher and Carrie the movie.
You spent the car ride imagining movies Michael Cera could have been in to exponentially improve the quality of the movie.
“Okay,” Manny said, “instead of Timmy Chateu in Call Me By Your Name.”
You snorted at the image and at Manny’s ever ridiculous names for celebrities. “Perfect! Oh, replace Brad Pitt in Fight Club!”
“Michael Cera could do Tyler Durden, but Bradley could never do Scott Pilgrim.” Manny nodded seriously as he spoke. “God, I should be a casting director.”
All too soon, he was pulling up outside your apartment complex and against your will tears were pricking at your eyes.
“Jesus, are you crying?” Manny leant over to get a better look at you. “I’m not dying!”
“I’m gonna miss you,” a sob caught in your throat.
“We’re seeing each other on Sunday! Get a hold of yourself!”
“It’s not gonna be the same!”
“Of course it’s not, but you’ve got to calm down. Take a deep breath with me, okay? In and out, just like that. Now look at me, we’re seeing each other on Sunday, and this new guy can’t be too bad otherwise Lou wouldn’t have hired him.”
You nodded, drying your tears on the sleeve of your shirt. “You’re right, you’re right. Okay, I love you, I’ll see you Sunday.”
Manny gave your hand one last squeeze and you decided it was finally time to go to bed.
~*~
Frankie didn’t know what drew him to the diner job. Since his army days, he had jumped from job to job, never staying more than a couple years. He liked working with his hands, never wanted too much responsibility, and wanted something that would leave him tired enough that we wouldn’t dream when he went to sleep.
The owner of the diner had asked if he’d had any experience as a cook, and when Frankie said that he was left in charge of the barbeque at all functions he went to, Lou shrugged and said “good enough.”
After shaking his hand, Lou had told him there were only three rules he cared about. Number one was do not harass the female staff, sexually or otherwise. Simple enough to follow, Frankie figured, for any decent human. The second rule was not to steal from the registers. Staff got food and coffee for free, within reason. And the third, was to try to avoid fighting with customers, but Lou would understand if it was necessary.
There wasn’t a uniform, so Frankie wore what he would’ve on any other night - jeans and a flannel over a plain tee, and of course his cap.
Frankie arrived ten minutes before his shift started, looking at the clock on the dash of his truck. He was a little nervous, but that always came with the first day of a new job. The nerves mainly related to whether or not the person he was supposed to work with would be at the very least, nice. He was only thirty-three, but already he felt too old to be part of any workplace pettiness.
Finally, the clock ticked to five minutes before his shift started. The sun was low in the sky and the truck had become chilly with the impending night. Straightening his cap, Frankie stepped into the warmth of the diner.
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PORTWELL LONG GAME OR RINA SLOWBURN.
You can only choose one poison.🍷
Listen up my Wildcats.🐱
We all ship each character with happiness. No matter how much you love to hate them, a majority of us simply adores the characters and want the best for them. Then comes relationships and it's okay to ship our favorites.⛴
I'm a diehard Rina shipper and I know in my heart that they are series endgame. The set up, the natural chemistry, their mutual understanding, the surprises and angst literally put me on chokehold. So I'm 100% a Rina shipper till the end. I'm here for the slowburn and their development rather than one shots. They are worth the pain. 😭❤
Let me start with Ricky Bowen now.
Ricky shouldn't to be with Gina because he's hurting her mentality. He's not insensitive on purpose. Like when he tried to stop Big Red from telling her his message to Nina because he KNOWS it'll hurt her.
If you think, that Ricky didn't understand clearly when Gina confessed, think again. He shushed her. Kept their thing a secret from everyone. He knows he feels some type of way and she feels something too. But this boy is so used to safeguarding his childhood norms and has very little adaptability. Hence, he pretended to ignore everything between them because his home stability was falling apart and he clinged on to Nina, his constant childhood love.
He's a traumatised 16-17 year old boy that needs to heal and grow. This episode was heartbreaking because he had to accept that he had to let Nina go because their once upon a time fairytale had become toxic.
People change. I'm not the same person I was when I was 16 lmao. Being together as childhood lovers means growing together and accepting each other's growth. Which Ricky couldn't. He clutched to the idea of Nini. Even his love confession. It was sooo sweet but all he did was focus on their history.
This boy needs time to heal and maybe seek professional therapy. It would be so DAMN HISTORIC if Disney decides to take psychological issues seriously and show how he's dealing with his anxiety, pills and psychotherapy. He needs to breathe before he can be with any girl for that matter. He's hurting and isn't trying to hurt anyone on purpose. Including Gina.
Him asking her for advice on Nini was a dumb, insensitive move. But he's trying to find a way to build some supportive friendship that they shared in early season one.
As for now, this boy needs to get his own grip on life and heal.
As for our Queen Gina
In Gina's confession, she focuses on their future. She basically said, "I wouldn't quit on a possible future of us being together despite obstacles. Because I never quit. But moving away isn't in my control." Ricky deep down knows this, encouraged her to say it, teary eyed, despite right after getting back together with Nini. Gina is his future. She went to his new house. And I also have this feeling that when she was given a chance to stay, she stayed partly because of Ricky. She left a chance to be with her mom because she prioritised their relationship. Because she never quits. 💪🏼
But she came back and found out Ricky has gotten back together with Nini.😭 What she doesn't know is Ricky got together with Nina before her confession, and after Gina kept dodging his messages. She's hurt and questions why she returned because she isn't particularly close to anyone. Hence, she was so silent at the after party. She thinks it'll be fine, "she'll live", and finds other reasons to find permanence. Her arc this season has been settling down in East High, despite the pain of losing and being 'betrayed' by Ricky, she finds other reasons to stay. 🏡
This kind of contrasts her with Nina. Nina left her dream school and came to Salt Lake because she missed her established home, and not just because of Ricky. Nina returned and was loved and embraced by Ricky Bowen.💕 Gina came back to a semi new place called Salt Lake because of her promise of a future to Ricky. But she got stabbed and she bled. 💔🗡
Think about her situation. She feels confused, alone, heartbroken, out of place and seperated from her mom. She's broken and hurting too. And she doesn't need more from Ricky's accidental or intentional 'sick burns'. That's the one line where he was such a jerk and I can't defend him here. 😠
Here comes the Caswells.
Her second family. A place of healthy stability. A home that accepted her. Ashlyn, her roomie and her confidante. EJ, the misunderstood boy who saw her value and bought her plane ticket.
Let's get to EJ.
At first, I wasn't too keen on seeing Portwell's development. But then that video chat where they talk about the possibility of her staying and him convincing her. Had me sold for a solid brother-sister relationship. Few episodes later, when Gina's pain seemed to be oblivious to everyone, he was the only one who asked her how she was, and saw her glow. The comfort she must've felt.
Not that she needs a man's validation, but she must be feeling like a second choice and feeling a little insecure because of Ricky. But EJ lifts her up and I genuinely saw her smile. This boy has her back whenever. The man she can lean on and truly sees how special she is. She no longer feels alone now that she has his entire fam and other friends. She genuinely feels a place of belonging and happiness when she's the apple of his eye. Notice how happy she is? How happy this boy is? She's going through her own issues and she has found ground with EJ.
I was very doubtful when they started hinting at a romantic direction. Because EJ would be used as plot device again for a girl to get to Ricky.😤 This man doesn't deserve to be second best to anyone, just like Gina.😑 That's why I'm still hesitant on shipping them at least temporarily. EJ needs to be something even more special to Gina. They need to show each other how special and treasured they are to each other despite feeling like rejects. They are each other's source of comfort.
I'm sure they can keep EJ at East High for the next season. Whether it's the drama club, or the AV club or going to a local college. So he will be there for Gina. I don't know how they can work out a relationship with much distance as Rini's fell out when she moved away. So, if EJ leaves again, it'll again shake up Gina. Her being worried whether he'll date college girls, second thoughts, etc. I don't want them to go through that. And if they do move on to romantic Portwell, make sure it's not plot device for Rina. So you can either have Portwell endgame or Rina Endgame.
Basically I want Gina to be treated so right that she understands she doesn't need Ricky. And when he does ask her out, and he makes her feel like a second choice or a rebound, she says NO. Because EJ has helped regain her self assurance. Eventually I want Gina to confide in EJ about her and Ricky. EJ is jealous but also angry about how Ricky has been hurting her. And becomes damn protective of his 'babe'. Ricky gets jealous of their relationship, restarting Ricky and EJ's old rivalry. But this time, it's not because Gina is his girlfriend, but because she's EJ's best friend who he has a crush on and wants what's best for her.
If it's meant to be Rina endgame
EJ- RICKY, YOU IDIOT! You have no clue how to treat her right. You don't put her first. You mislead her. Get the hell away from her! She's too powerful and beautiful, she doesn't deserve your scraps. I know how she feels for you. I wish I were you. I would treat her like a queen. I don't mind even waiting years till she's ready. She deserves that. You're so lucky you have even a small chance that I may never have. So get your act together, prove you're worth it to win her over. All I want is for her to be happy. Even if it's with someone else. And maybe then I'll stop threatening you to stay away from her.😠
Ricky- .....I don't know what I'm more scared of. Change, or losing the girl I fell for or YOU. Okay, losing her but you're a close second.😬
If it's Portwell endgame.
Ricky- I messed up. Make sure you don't mess up with her. You'll regret it forever.
EJ- I'd rather get hit by thousand basketballs than ever hurt her. I'll be her plus one and her best friend until she's ready to be with me. I know she's ready now too. But I want her to know I'm willing to wait till she graduates before we make it official. I'm in it for the long game.
As for their age gap. I'm 100% sure Portwell won't kiss this season. If they do, it'll be next when Sofia turns 18. They are professional actors who are cast because they are the perfect fit for the role and are expected to carry out the storyline. But I suppose fearing some outbursts, they might delay Sofia kissing anyone till next season. It's so weird because Olivia was maybe 17 when Matt was 21-22 when they kissed in season one. But no one had a problem with that. But for this, they do. Remember, they are professional actors. They are acting! Sometimes, actors are over 10 years apart (but above 18) and act as romantic partners.
As for their characters, they are only two years apart. That's hardly any difference once you're over the age of 18. Age of consent is 16. But adults above 18 are only allowed to have sex with adults above 18. So, age isn't a problem here because EJ is a gentleman and is genuinely interested in her and isn't trying to get in her pants. So age isn't the issue when it comes to dating. It's the maturity. Gina is very mature and gives very sound advice. But I can see EJ being patient enough till she turns 18 just to kiss her because he loves her. 😚
As for the Ashlyn remark, "You look like a kid to me rn". He was JOKING.😂 Don't take things out of context. I tell my cousin sister that all the time. But she's three years younger than me and a grown adult. I don't see her as a kid but it's just a cousin teasing her younger cousin that's she's a little immature. I'm Matt's age and I'm very mature for my age and since I was a teenager, I always matched up with boys a little older than me. Now that I'm in my early 20s, I've dated boys even close to 30. So age is just a number.
EJ dating Gina and giving her quick kisses is fine. But to have a strong sexual element in their relationship (including making out), he'll have to wait till she's 18+. And I'm sure for that he'll wait till she's ready even past her early 20s. Age is really just a number and we can't help who we fall in love with. Trust me, I've been there.😂 So I can see EJ feeling conflicted about his feelings that are clear at this point.
They might not be a perfect fit, but they make each other sooo happy. They deserve a lot more than a short lived fling.😟 They are either endgame or Rina is. You can't have both as a Rina unless you're an EJ hater who wants him to exist as plot device. Nope! He's sooo much more precious than that.
But Jack on the other hand....I'm okay if he's the one to make Ricky or EJ jealous. Because he's just been introduced and it's okay if a character is used, but only once, for someone else to realize their feelings. 💁🏽♀️
In short.
Ricky needs help and needs to be on his own. No girlfriends allowed.🙅🏽♀️🚫
Needs to give both Gina and Nina space for them to grow on their own too.🌳
Ricky needs to understand the core of his problems and become more adaptable via therapy. Maybe the psychologist will point out his unresolved feelings for Gina, or he will conclude it himself. And in comes Ricky-pining-for-Gina season three.
Ricky needs to fully get over Nina before he moves on to anyone. Same for Gina if Portwell were to happen. No one deserves to be second choice.
Gina isn't Ricky's cushion. She's a living person with strong feelings for him and shouldn't be subjected to share his pain. She already struggles with her own issues.
Ricky needs to stay single till he wins back Gina and prove he's worth it. He needs to show even if another girl wants him, he'll never quit on Gina ever again. Even if he has to watch her be with someone else. *cough parallels*.
It's either romantic Rina then Portwell endgame OR Portwell flirty besties but Rina endgame. You and I can choose only one because my boy EJ shouldn't be used as plot device for a girl to leave for Ricky ever again.
Portwell's age difference can be practically solved and isn't much of an issue unless they get hot and heavy before Gina turns 18 which is impossible considering this is Disney. 🤣🤣
Jack and Gina will be plot device material and purely so sentimental to us OG Andi Mack fans. More than any ship, this is what I'm looking for. Sort of an Andi Mack crack ship for season 3a. It's gonna be soooo funny. 😍😂
I respect everyone's ship. I see what you're seeing. And I'm not going to invalidate your ship. But unless it's done right, I won't jump from the Rina ship. I liked Rini. I like Portwell. I like AU Juffy crackship haha.😂 But as for me, I'm still holding on to Rina slowburn.
Preparing myself for the pain. 😭🔥
(But if I had to pair two characters without Disney getting in the way, it would be Gini. The power duo. Undeniable chemistry. They can be written so well because of their layered relationship and contrasting personalities.🤩 The classic rivals to friends to lovers. But that's a talk for another day lmao.)
Thanks for reading my opinion, Wildcat!🐱❤
#hsmtmts#gina x ricky#rina#ricky bowen#gina porter#ricky x gina#portwell#ej caswell#jack hsmtmts#juffy#jonah beck#andi mack
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Aot crush and relationship hcs
Tw as I talk about suicide for reiners bit
- liking you makes him guilty (if you’re a soldier that is) and he doesn’t completely know what to even do about the situation
- as stares at you quite a bit and is self aware it’s obvious and tries not to too much
- you’re special to him
- probably tries to bring you along home with him and bertholdt before he even confesses he likes you but it probably works in his favor
- he honestly wants to marry you, a thought in his head before he even confesses his feelings
- not a blushy boy all the time but whos to say he can’t? You can totally make him blush
- when he finally decides to confess, he’s quite nervous about it but hey.. he’s lost a lot that was important you guys don’t have much time left
- a part of him wished he never became the armored titan so he’d have a longer time with you but at the same time if it weren’t for that he wouldn’t have met you (again if you’re a soldier but ok)
- if not hey it’s fine, he got to know you growing up and had a bigass crush on you that was so obvious that porco would purposelessly flirt with you to piss him off
- in a relationship, hugs and cuddles are quite often from Reiner you make him all soft and he’s such a cuddly man look at them big arms
- he’s the best hugger and cuddler tbh
- even if it looks weird, he likes to be the small spoon sometimes, just to be held and feel safe and protected for once
- he’s just so used to protecting you, which he loves and insists on doing but sometimes just wants to feel safe and protected by you
- likes patting your head
- gabi adores you so much, you guys are besties at this point
- gabis just really happy Reiner could find somebody to care and love for, it’s about damn time
- does not like you fighting, but if you have to then you have to
- will spoil you and buy you whatever you want, he does it cause he wants to spoil you though...
- when gabi finds this out you know she’s coming along for your dates more often to just get something
- dates are as often as you and Reiner can have them, which is more than most of the characters I’ve written for already
- you being with Reiner comes with a lot of emotional baggage that he doesn’t wanna put on you, he’s put it on a lot of people and he’s gotten a lot of people killed (who died in order to protect him such as bertholdt and ymir and etc)
- just be there for him, he doesn’t need you to understand he just needs somebody to not see him as a complete piece of shit so he can feel less guilty about it
- he has so much guilt :(
- so much to the point he doesn’t wanna live in this life anymore, but you being there makes it easier for him to have a will to live, for you
- at this point in his life he goes along with whatever you want
- he hates the idea of being separated from you at all
- yeah he’s a clingy boy in his adult years because he knows his time is coming up
- when he dies he says he wants you to look after gabi
- while the idea of dying sooner makes him feel better, can’t say he likes the idea of leaving you though he is constantly at a conflict between whether he’s happy to be the armored titan because he gets to protect you, die sooner etc or if he hates it cuz he can’t live longer to be with you and actually grow old with you
- even with his short life span, he wants to marry you
- it’s his final wish
- deep down Reiner wishes you could’ve started a family ;(
- he tells you to forget about him when he dies and start a family though tbh
- he loves you so much
(S4 eren does not exist, the reason for that is the whole reason he became a shit head, I won’t spoil for the non manga readers or those that aren’t caught up with the manga, but yeah)
- this blushy boy can’t help the nervousness he feels around you and doesn’t always know what to say around you
- you make him at a loss for words honestly which isn’t like him
- he thinks about approaching you often, but he gets so tongue tied
- mikasa usually has to do the talking and we all know she isn’t the most talkative gal ever
- he might try to impress you, even in his titan form he tries to impress you
- especially if it’s early on and it’s a new development he’s gonna wanna show it off
- doesn’t like being babied (as shown with mikasa) so he might wanna be the one to protect you and do things for you
- would die at being complimented or touched in anyway by you
- people don’t give him enough credit, he’s lost his mother, he has lost other people he grew to care for, he’s a protective boy and is scared to lose you or fail you
- he is oblivious to any feelings that might be returned
- he is usually one to cling around often as well
- he feels comfortable being vulnerable and crying in front of you
- but he still wants to seem like he at least knows what to do and he can protect you and whatnot but truth is he’s really scared he’ll fail you like he did with his mother and hannes
- this will be a slowburn for a longtime unless you say something eren is a loser with this shit
- even with armin and mikasas encouragements he is scared to tell you
- so he simply asks you questions to see if he can get any indication that you love him back, or at the very least like him
- it takes awhile since he’s dumb but when he gets an answer he wants, he asks you out
- being in a relationship with eren means him constantly being at your side and attached to you at the hip
- if not soulmates why always together ??
- FR though
- he likes having an arm around you if you’re shorter, let’s not forget as an adult he’s 6’0
- kisses your cheek often
- jealousy is also often, he has a lack of confidence compared to others sometimes but it’s nothing that’s an issue or anything
- you teach him what freedom really is, the freedom to love somebody in full, unconditionally, the freedom to have that feeling and it being the most amazing feeling
- play with his hair, he loves it
- not so much when it starts to get really long just cuz it gets knots sometimes but brushing his hair and putting it up it always nice and he appreciates it
- can we all agree he looks better with his hair up
- forehead kisses if he’s taller, it’s likely to be a newer development since he was quite shorter/average height back then
- while he hates being babied, he will let you take care of him if he really needed it
- but mainly likes taking care of you
- neck kisses don’t have to be a sexual giving hickeys thing and eren is living proof since he loves giving cute neck kisses
- likes to grab your hands and just kiss em
- first of all, keep in mind this man is like in his early/mid 30s and now like almost 40
- he’s not gonna have this schoolboy crush, he thinks it’s childish
- at least that’s what he says
- he can be caught staring at you often, very often
- like he’s so obvious damn, but it looks like he’s glaring at you
- only hange and Erwin can tell that he likes you with his stares gonna be real!
- finds excuses for you to be around him, maybe that’s having you in his squad now, maybe it’s helping him clean, whatever it is he’s getting you
- so maybe in his own way clingy
- he often talks to you in a similar fashion that he does with Erwin and hange, somewhat more “casual” in Levi’s terms, or kinda “teasing” as teasing as a levi can be and it not sounding like teasing
- deep down worries for you often and is protective, eren is already protective enough because of who he has lost just think about Levi he literally loses everyone
- tries not to be overwhelmingly protective, it can be annoying and would make him obvious
- also if you think it’s impossible to make him blush think again all you gotta do is hug him, he doesn’t even hug back but still!
- eventually decides you could die at any moment, life is short, especially in this world
- so he just asks you out and gets it over with
- so now you date!
- it’s hard not to worry for Levi with the constant bullshit he goes through, but it does feel nice to have somebody worry about him so he takes it
- he just doesn’t like the idea of you worrying about him too much since he’s supposed to be humanity’s strongest, he wants you to have some hope/faith
- likes patting your head, doesn’t matter how tall you are compared to him
- nobody would have the balls to call him short except for you
- we all know he isn’t good at his emotions but he will allow himself to be soft and vulnerable when y’all are alone
- doesn’t tolerate pda
- he also keeps the relationship mainly secretive because you could become a target, he doesn’t care if eren and the others know though
- likes kissing your hand a lot, or your neck/collarbone
- totally into pressing your foreheads together he finds it nice
- he at least can hug back now but that takes a long time lol
- Yes. you can squish his cheeks. Will he be extremely annoyed? Yes. Will he do anything about it? No.
- he’s so soft for you? God
- has nightmares about losing you often, so you share the same room so he feels better knowing you’re alive next to him
- or you comforting him back to sleep works
- will buy you things if he can, likes spoiling you when he can but not toooo much
- if you suggest turning into a titan he says no
- while a part of him is like yeah a guaranteed 13 yrs he also is like no he wanna spend the rest of his days with you he cannot allow it
- yeahhhh so maybe he’s got some naive hopes, but this time he thinks he can achieve them and finish this shit ... he can only hope
- not enough people write for my best boy, sad day ;(
- him with a crush though? Let’s be real he blushes quite a bit it annoys him though especially if you ever comment on it
- you just make him all mushy and god he loves you so much
- hand on his smushed cheek with a goofy smile and just stares at you, this happens all the time
- Sasha loves to remind him of that like everytime he does it
- very defensive of you, if anyone disrespects you they are catching these hands
- so it is likely fights with Jean bc he disrespected you (even if he was joking) are often
- he always tries to make you laugh, especially when you’re going through a rough time. He wants to see you smile and laugh and hates seeing you sad at all
- probably flirts with you, but he makes it sound like a joke so it’s hard to take him seriously
- he’s protective if he has to be, he’s not as strong as others but he can hold his own very well. (He’s canonly the fastest or at least one of the fastest, so he can get you out of situations fast)
- is overall even more goofy around you than he normally is because he just wants you laughing
- he can be clingy even while just being friends, often finds excuses to hang around you
- gets teased a lot by Sasha and Jean about his rather obvious crush
- sometimes he just daydreams about you so if anyone hears him sigh dreamily or zone out they know it’s cuz he’s thinking about you
- like seriously daydreams about you so much, the only time he isn’t is when he’s around you (which even then it still happens sometimes) or during like fights where he could die at any moment
- would die at being touched physically, or being complimented
- he will be like “yeah ofc I am haha ;D” in a joking way, but he is dying on the inside
- gonna be real confessing takes a longer time than anyone on this list like even eren and Reiner because he is so scared of rejection and losing the friendship you have he holds it so close to him
- it’s extremely important since it’s not often he ever likes somebody? Plus you make him feel the happiest he’s ever felt like? Honestly he cannot do without you man
- when he finally does (thanks to Jean and Sasha pushing him to do so) he’s a blushing mess
- dating him though is wonderful, he’s attached to you at the hip, you guys are always together he hates being separated
- it’s annoying for everyone else though
- if you’re not around for some reason he doesn’t stfu about you
- he gets sad when you guys are apart ;(
- cheek kisses are often since they’re easy to give (it’s likely he’s shorter than you so just... easy cheek kiss... or because of the huge burst of height he gets as he ages he’s extremely taller and again cheek kisses are easy)
- loves hugging you, or just having his arms engulfed around you in some way
- terrible pickup lines? Absolutely. He’s mainly joking but sometimes he’s being serious
- before he’d do anything to make you laugh it’s even moreso now that you’re dating
- hand holding is often
- he is good at comforting you if need it
- would like to just be held after a tough day
- likes to hug you from behind
- loves kissing your hands <3
- my god if anyone is blushy it is Jean but I think we know this based off his interaction with mikasa
- cannot stop staring at you, at least Connie has some control and is just not aware of it. Jean is aware of his staring but has no self control.
- unlike Connie who has the confidence to jokingly flirt Jean doesn’t have that confidence. Acts like a cocky bastard but actually isn’t.
- probably says he made a move, or that he’s going to but hasnt and everyone knows it
- gets extremely nervous around you, palms sweaty, knees weak (arms are heavy)
- if you ever got hurt, protective mode (especially if it was to protect him cuz Christ he will lose it)
- scared to lose you, he lost Marco he doesn’t wanna lose you too
- he loves you so much, its come to the point where he can’t live without you. If you died he wouldn’t know what to do and he would probably go crazy without you around
- he’s always worried about you and watching out for you
- probably really jealous even before dating you, he’s constantly worried other people will have a better chance with you (if he noticed somebody else likes you he is all on that, he knows)
- he will try to impress you, also because of his jealousy but still. He wants to prove he can be good for you romantically
- so he’s constantly playing up how strong he is until you kick his ass in a fight
- however despite how nervous he gets around you, after some time he eventually is kinda himself. He doesn’t wanna seem like a dick around you so he acts overly nice but eventually you get close enough to where he can be himself
- likes to tease you sometimes
- probably calls you an idiot, especially if you are one or act like one at all. He don’t mean it but you know that.
- eventually will confess, because he’s sick of Sasha and connies teasing and lame attempts to be wingmen
- they’re so obvious abt it btw Sasha will just be there like “hey Jean y/n looks very cute today don’t you think so?” And Connie just nudges him, “yeah tell them how cute they are today, I think they look adoraaable” and he’s like “yes you’re very cute today” and then they just leave and make it awkward for you both
- when he tells you how he feels he’s stuttering so much, it’s painful
- dating Jean is still awkward, he’s still nervous but moreso that he might fuck up somehow and you’ll break it off with him
- eventually yeah, cuddlebug
- loves hugs
- clingy af
- mans can cook, you already know he cooking you something as much as he can
- loves giving you forehead kisses if you’re shorter, if not then cheek kisses are cool too
- before you dated he’d probably try to nervously compliment you and just stutter and die inside, in fact there was a time he didn’t talk to you at all because he never knew what to say
- he tries not to impress you as much but still does and is a jealous boy but less jealous cuz you’re dating him
- he needs constant reassurance
- he’s such a sweetheart deep down he is willing to do so much for you
- still calls you an idiot or any other nickname but more comfortable with it now that you’re dating and likes teasing you
- also eventually tells you how much he loves and cares for you, and tells you the extents of his love
- he loves always being around you and gets annoyed when Sasha and Connie tag along but you probably don’t mind
- he loves you though so he’s like . Ok
- he’ll follow you wherever you go tbh
- he’s also a blushy boy at times, especially if you’re in close proximity in some way
- complimenting him? Do you want him to pass out?
- I feel like people act like he’s overly mean to his crush but I don’t think he’d be mean. He’d try really hard to get along with them to the point where he might act like he likes the same stuff they do
- he’s clingy in general w/ you. Honestly not being around you for even a little feels like forever. Sometimes it’s just months before he can see you again, that hurts him ;(
- he’s such a softie deep down I can’t
- super protective as well (again I think everyone in aot is but mannn porco is so protective)
- he has seen some shit he knows what happens to people and he doesn’t want it happening to you
- very loyal to you tbh
- will find any excuse to touch you physically even if it puts a blush on his face, the first time he did he died but still... he liked the feeling and doesn’t ever wanna miss that feeling
- wraps an arm around you “casually” and “friendly” like all the time
- since him and pieck are pretty much always together, now it’s the three of you that are always together
- pieck finds it sweet though, and loves that he has somebody he could care for as much as he does
- ofc she tries to wingman, whenever he’s not around she asks you what you think of him. If you think of him as something more or what
- it’s because of one of your talks with pieck about porco does she finally encourage porco to tell you how he feels
- it takes awhile, he’s mainly worried of rejection or that he’ll lose you while you’re dating
- when you’re dating though, an arm around you at all times. If not holding your hand. (Ofc if you’re not currently discussing important matters)
- but yeah doesn’t mind pda, just not too much
- holds your hand if he is not having an arm around you
- kisses you like a lot, ofc when nobody else is around (or just pieck is around) but yknow
- he’s clingy, likes spending alone time w/ you but again wouldn’t mind if pieck was there
- gabi loves aww’ing at you guys and tbh so does pieck
- it does embarrass him sometimes but he loves you so he deals with it
- speaking of love he loves to remind you how much you mean to him and how much he loves you, he is not making the mistake of not letting you know how much he adores you
- teases tf outta you, like Jean would call you nicknames like idiot or something but he adores you too much for mean nicknames
- to make up for it he has pet names
- he’s also pretty jealous too btw
- make him feel better with lots of smooches
- he likes squishing your cheeks, surprisingly doesn’t mind if you do the same to him =)
- when cuddling he puts his face in either your chest or neck and peppers little kisses there
- pickup lines .. yeah they’re so bad he doesn’t care as long as they make you either blush or laugh
- low key just ... gently holds you, he loves u so much he’s so soft
#aot#aot x reader#attack on Titan#attack on Titan x reader#snk#snk x reader#porco galliard#porco x reader#porco galliard x reader#jean kirschstein#jean kirschtein headcanons#jean kirschtein x reader#connie springer#Connie x reader#Reiner x reader#levi ackerman#Levi x reader#eren yeager#Eren x reader
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Honeytea PT 2
Kyoya x fem reader and Hikaru x fem reader, Kyoya angst, Hikaru slowburn.
Warnings: none
word count: 1.7k
songs to listen to while reading:
What Am I by Why Dont We
Greek God by Conan Gray
hikaru’s outfit:
Reader’s outfit (your outfit can be whatever you want this is just what I had in mind while writing <3):
Cafe Hikaru and reader are at:
you woke up with the sun shining on your eyes, reaching out to feel the spot where your husband had been sleeping cold and empty, he had already left for work. Last night was emotionally exhausting, you had a fight with Kyoya and called Hikaru while your emotions were running high, even though you woke up feeling calmer it would still be nice to see him. You decided to get up and check your phone to see if you were still on for today, there were 6 unread messages from Hikaru.
“checking if ur okay”
“meet me tomorrow at 12pm for lunch at that cafe near my house, the one Honey got banned from”
“btw how the fuck do you manage to get banned from a restaurant for eating too much cake”
*picture of a single spoon inside a sink* “lol me”
“I should probably go to bed now goodnight”
He hasn’t changed a bit since high school, that’s what was so comforting to you about Hikaru. He took you back to a time where everything was much more simpler, lazy afternoons on the grass with the host club, drinking tea by the window in music room 3 with Kyoya, study sessions with Mori and Honey, getting into all sorts of mischief with Hikaru and Kauro, quietly reading with Haruhi, piano lessons from Tamaki…
All those memories started playing back in your mind and you started to feel all warm inside, you really didn’t know how good you had it. It’s not that you weren’t happy, you were married to the man you loved, you were one of the most respected and powerful women in society, what else could you ask for? But sometimes it felt like you were missing out on something, like your world could be so much more. When you mentioned this to Kyoya a couple months ago he suggested you try for children but you quickly shot down the idea, you were 23 and he was 24, having kids right now would be too big of a responsibility.
Shaking those thoughts from your head you checked the time on your phone, 10am. You still had 2hours before you had to meet Hikaru so going back to sleep was a tempting offer, but considering the cafe was almost 30 minutes away and you got easily distracted while getting ready it would be wiser to start picking out some clothes and getting in the shower. There was about 45 minutes before a maid was supposed to come in and clean your room so you figured that should be enough time to take a quick shower, you could just ask them to wait till you were done but you always felt awkward doing so.
After zoning out for a minute you headed for the shower, got undressed, put your hair up and turned on the hot water, you already washed your hair yesterday so there was no point in washing it again. You had always loved showers, the feeling of the warm water on your skin, the sound of the water dripping on the floor and the smell of all your products were enough to wash all your problems away. After about 25 minutes in the shower you turned the water off and stepped out, already missing the warmth of the water. After quickly drying yourself off with a towel you started massaging some lotion into your skin, first your arms and then your legs, this was your favorite part of your routine. When you felt that you had enough lotion on already you put on a robe, walked out of the bathroom and towards your walk in closet. It was september so the weather was still warm, today would be a simple dress day, or as simple as you could. Downside of being married to Kyoya Ootori: having to keep up appearances ALWAYS. After picking out a dress it was time for shoes, you gravitated towards a gorgeous pair of open toed gold heels that would’ve gone really well with your dress, but your legs were still slightly sore from last night so sandals it is.
After scrutinizing every part of your outfit and make up, which in the end you decided to go with a simple eyeliner, mascara and gloss, it was already 11:15. You grabbed your purse and asked someone to bring the car around. You hurriedly walked down the large staircase, excitement clear in your step, you got inside the car and gave a quick hello to the driver.
“Good morning Mrs Ootori, where to?”
“Morning Ryuzaki, Honeytea Cafe.”
“Understood ma’am.”
After giving your instructions you pressed the button to lift the divider between the driver and the backseat, needing to be alone. You hadn’t seen Hikaru in person since your wedding reception, you talked on the phone occasionally but always for less than 2 minutes, this was the first time in months you would be in the same room again. Was it gonna be awkward? I mean you did call him yesterday late at night crying so what if he thought you were weird? No, no, this was Hikaru, your best friend since your first year of high school, everything was gonna be fine.
The 30 minute ride felt like it went by in less than 15, After getting to the cafe you told Ryuzaki to go back home and that you would call when you were done, since you didn’t know how long you would take. 11: 52pm, 8 minutes till you were supposed to meet Hikaru, meaning you had 8 minutes to get your act together.
You stepped into the cafe and scanned the place, 6 years and nothing had changed. Still the same old tall bookshelves lined the walls. The same paintings on the walls, and just like you remembered, peace and quiet. Since the cafe was a bit old fashioned it tended to attract an older crowd, old people just trying to enjoy their coffee and adults in their 30s that wanted a quiet place to work. While you continued to examine the room, lost in your own world, you felt a pair of slender hands on your shoulders and heard a familiar voice coming from behind you.
“Taking a trip down memory lane while blocking the way huh? Honestly y/n I thought commoners taught their children better manners.”
At first you were startled but then you quickly turned around to face the voice and there he was. Tall, mischievous smile and wild hair, Hikaru Hitachiin in the flesh. “Hikaru I-” you hugged him before you could even finish your sentence. You stood there with your arms wrapped around his neck in silence for a couple more seconds.
“y/n?”
“Yeah?”
“We’re still blocking the way.”
Oh right.
Behind you 2 old ladies stood with unpleasant expressions on their faces, you both moved out of the way to let the ladies through, they walked past you and muttered something about today’s youth having no respect for their elders. You stood there slightly embarrassed, heat rising to your cheeks while Hikaru looked like he might burst out laughing.
You decide to grab a table at the very back of the cafe, away from everyone else. After you sit down Hikaru strikes a conversation. “Haven’t seen you in a year y/n, how’s married life been treating you?” He propped up his elbow and leaned his head on his hand, keeping his eyes focused on you.
Damn so we’re already on that topic.
“We’ve had our ups and downs, what about you? How are you and Kaoru doing?” Hopefully he won't bring up your phone call from yesterday. “We’re doing pretty good, Kaoru actually started seeing someone a couple months ago. Cute boy he met at an art gallery.” You could hear the tiniest hint of jealousy in the last part, but overall Hikaru sounded happy for his brother. “Oh he did? That’s cool” you stay silent for a couple seconds before proceeding with what you were saying. “And how do you feel about Kaoru seeing someone?” Hikaru’s eyes shifted from you to the table and kept them focused there. “In the beginning it was weird, I hated the idea of having to share him with someone else but now, I see how happy he is with Evan and that’s all that matters to me.” He looked up from the table to look at you and smile, then he spoke again but this time in a more playful tone. “So are we eating or what? Man were you seriously gonna let me starve? Typical Ootori.” That comment made you laugh, you really did miss him.
You both ordered and paid separately, since you knew you would argue over who would pay the bill. After you both received your food you sat down to eat, while you ate you reminisced about the past and talked about all the trouble you used to get into back in the day.
“No no, you were the one that tricked Tamaki into dressing up as Haruhi to fool the doctors during the physical exam that one time.” He laughed and pointed at you with a piece of bread. “Whaaaaat? Me? I would never, I was just an innocent bystander” you defended yourself while also laughing, then you remembered something. “No but for real that one wasn’t my idea, actually Kyoya came up with it.” Hikaru stopped laughing but still had a smile on his face, he then asked you a question.
“So Kyoya…” There was a pause before he spoke again.
“You mentioned you have your ups and downs, I’m guessing yesterday was a down?”
The food that was in your throat had trouble going down, you tried to quickly swallow and answer Hikaru’s question. “Yesterday was definitely not one of our best days” You let out a nervous laugh. Before you could elaborate a middle aged man came up to your table and asked if he could borrow one of your chairs for his daughter, seeing that you were both already finished with your food you told him he could have the chairs and got up to leave.
As you were walking out of the coffee shop Hikaru tapped your shoulder.
“Hey my house is just a 5 minute drive from here, we could go there if you wanna talk more in private.”
#kyoya ootori#ouran high school host#ouran high school host club headcannons#kyoya senpai#ohshc#hikaru x reader#hikaru hitachiin#ohshc hikaru#ouran kyoya#kyoya x reader#ohshc kyoya
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Hi! I’m sorry you’re getting shitty anons about this and you’re probably sick of it so I apologise for asking this but I’m genuinely curious what made you start actively disliking zutara? Like, considering how much excellent and insightful content/meta you yourself used to make/write? I get that interests change over time and you’re totally valid!! the anons sending you hate over it are really dumb, but if you’d be ok with sharing, I’d be really interested in hearing why you’ve done almost a complete 180 on the ship? Was is just burnout/end of a hyper-obsession? Or was it some of us in the rest of the fandom that turned you off? Or was it even something about the ship/characters themselves that you changed your mind about? xx
In short, it was a combination of burnout, dissatisfaction with fandom, and disappointment in myself that caused my disinterest for Zvtara.
I got asks similar to this one a couple of times before, but I never gave a comprehensive answer, mainly because I didn't know how to articulate my reasons why I don't like it anymore. But now that I've been out of ZK fandom for a month and have had some time to reflect, I think I can give a much more thorough response. Beware, this is long and I heavily critique the Zvtara fandom, so if you're a ZK shipper, keep reading at your own risk.
My first minor annoyance with Zvtara is that the fandom has a tendency to idolize certain fics and creators. And while there’s certainly nothing inherently wrong about that, I feel like the Zvtara fandom does it to such an extent that it influences the type of content that content creators make in order to get recognition. And to illustrate my point, I’m going to talk about one of the most famous Zvtara fics of all time: Once Around The Sun by eleventy7.
Don’t get me wrong, I love OATS. I think it’s a great fanfic and I think the author devoted a lot of time and effort to make it such an excellent fic. The plot, the development of the characters and their relationships to one other, and the messages about family and love were all brilliantly written. I mean, there is a reason why it’s regarded as the “Zvtara Bible”. This one fanfic had such a profound impact upon the ZK fandom, and I think the biggest impact that came from it is the dramatic influx of post-war Zvtara AU fanfiction.
Because so many people kept reading OATS and recommending it to others, I think there was an overall interest in ZK fics that take place in a post-war setting. And I think that all of the high praise towards OATS made more fic writers start to write post-war fanfics because of this demand for post-war AU.* I normally wouldn't complain about it because more content is more content, but in my opinion, 99% of ZK post-war fics are the same fic but in different fonts.
Like, there's at least 3 of these elements in every ZK post-war fanfic:
Ambassador Katara
An assassination attempt (usually on Zuko's life)
A healing scene between Zuko and Katara (usually Katara heals Zuko)
Aang and/or Mai is pushed to the side or vilified to some extent in order to make ZK happen
A private journey between Zuko and Katara to facilitate #6
S L O W B U R N (that's not really slowburn and more like "I love you and I very much want to be vocal about my feelings but #7 is in this fic" but the love story takes up like 30 chapters so I guess it's a slowburn?)
Zuko's advisers don't want him to get married to Katara because ✨racism✨
Ursa is found
Azula is in the fic because a) she's going to get a healing arc ft. Zuko and Katara and thereby helps them get together or b) she's the villain and thereby helps them get together
ZK wedding happens in the FN
After reading multiple post-war fics back to back, I could tell that the format was pretty much the same across the board, which isn't very interesting for me to read. My only other fic options in the Zvtara tag on AO3 are canon divergence fics which almost always take place during The Crossroads of Destiny or after The Southern Raiders. And to some extent, those stories are pretty much the same too. There's nothing really new or creative going on in the ZK fandom fic-wise, and because of that, my interest in ZK fandom started to dwindle.
My second issue with Zvtara is that it's a very old ship from a very old show. Because there's been 10+ years since the end of A:TLA, every nuanced point about shipping and the show itself have been talked to death.** There's just nothing new to say. It's the same arguments being rehashed over and over again in the tag because there's no other interpretation one can come up with.
For example, there's so many people who talk about why Zvtara as depicted in The Southern Raiders is not toxic and that's great and all, but I (and most likely many others) have read those same points about five times already. And for some reason, each time this happens, people act like someone just discovered the lost city of Atlantis when they bring up their new-but-not-new argument in defense of Zvtara. Honestly, I'm ashamed to say that I'm not exempt from being part of the group of people that reiterate old arguments. I've done it with one of my posts about The Southern Raiders and I've done it again with my Zutara/Omashu parallels post.
There's no new content to really dissect and analyze (especially considering Zuko and Katara are rarely in the same panel in any of the post-war comics), and because of this, people are just restating points that someone else made several years ago.*** And even if someone did have a different interpretation of an episode, their ideas would most likely be shut down because for the past several years, the same interpretation has been recycled through the fandom repeatedly and people are resistant to new perspectives.
This brings me to the third thing that I dislike about Zvtara: the insistence that there can only be one way to interpret The Southern Raiders. For the longest time, I've read take after take that said if Katara decided to kill Yon Rha, it would be ok because that's her grief to deal with and if she thinks that's the best way to mete out justice, then good for her. And again, I'm ashamed to say that I perpetuated that idea in a few of my own posts. I have always thought that "Katara killing Yon Rha is ok" is just a bad take in general, but I didn't want to vocalize that opinion when so many people—so many of the nice mutuals that I made—all shared that same opinion. Taking down a popular opinion of your own ship is completely different from taking down a popular opinion of a ship that you dislike. The Zvtara fandom is the first fandom that I was actually active in and I wanted to fit in so badly with everyone else that I just parroted whatever other people said, even if I didn't agree with those sentiments.
This leads me to my final reason why I don't want to be a part of ZK fandom anymore. I think I established myself as a "meta" person pretty early on and because of that, I constantly felt pressured to come up with new takes on the ship. And when people started flooding my ask box with stuff like "Can you write a meta about your thoughts on the idea that 'Zuko only took Katara on that field trip in TSR because he wanted her to forgive him'?" and "What are your thoughts about antis saying Zuko and Katara are toxic because of TSR?", I realized that I don't need to come up with new takes. People just want me to paraphrase something that 10 other people said about the same exact topic, because if I said what I actually thought about the subject (i.e. there is some truth in what antis say about TSR and it's not as much of a "Zvtara episode" that most people make it out to be), I'd probably get ZK shippers in the replies telling me that I'm wrong because x, y, and z or "you shouldn't tag this as Zvtara".
And that was pretty much how my love for ZK turned into disinterest. I was and still am disappointed that I didn't stick to my personal opinions. For as much as I talk about herd mentality on Twitter, I certainly don't practice what I preach. In all honesty, the only reason why I held on so long to ZK fandom was because I had so many nice mutuals there and we all shared this collective distaste for antis. I think I started to become more anti-Zvkka and anti-Kataang than pro-Zvtara, which isn't what I wanted to do when I made this Tumblr blog.
The thing that made me joke about becoming anti-Zvtara was the fact that some ZK shippers just like to send shitty anons to people whom they've reblogged countless different metas from. Sending shitty anons to people in the first place is wrong, but sending them to people who tagged their posts correctly and did nothing wrong is just disgusting.
*I'm not a fic writer and can't speak for fic writers, but it definitely feels like a lot of ZK fic authors are pushing themselves to write the next OATS, and by doing so, they are proliferating the tag with post-war fics that have very similar aspects to OATS.
**I think that as more people point out the same nuanced points about Zvtara, it diminishes the actual significance of those points. Like, it's hard to explain but the more people talk about the subtleties of the ship, the more those parts become glaringly obvious and I become numb to their actual impact on the characters and the show.
***At this point, if someone wanted to make a new argument about Zvtara, I think they would have to look very closely at every little detail in every single one of their scenes together to find a crumb of new meta material. And speaking from experience, it's not very fun trying to make a mountain out of a molehill. Whenever I post a "meta" like that, I feel like I'm reaching to make a point that doesn't exist.
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Empathetic Ch. 3
Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x Reader
Summary: After your mom, the number 1 hero in America, gets offered a teaching position at U.A., you two pack up your things and head to Musutafu, Japan to start a new life. Pressure for you in America was at an all-time high, and now you're in Japan, where almost no one knows you, or your family's past.
This tale starts on your first day of class where your new teacher decides the best way for you to fit in is to fight against the strongest person in your class: Bakugou Katsuki.
Warnings/Genre: This piece will feature some angst and reference to an abusive parent, if you are ever worried about other tw’s feel free to send me an ask and I will let you know. There will also be fluff, slight angst, pining, and slowburn
A/N: This is also posted on ao3 under @allie_win. I’m transferring it over here, pls let me know if you like it! I love your comments! Just a note that any italics means thoughts.
(series masterlist)
~~
As someone who could manipulate emotions, it was hard not to be an emotional person. Everything you felt was tenfold what another person could feel.
It could be great! Like when you were happy or serene. But it could also be bad, like when you were anxious or depressed.
It took you quite some time for you to be able to control your emotions. You had to make sure you didn’t get too excited in front of others because it could freak people out. It was even worse when you were dealing with more negative emotions. You also had to make sure you had coping mechanisms for when you were stressed, in order to function like others. The hardest to fight against was your anger.
You worked hard throughout the years to keep your fury and rage down.
You still remembered sparring with your brother when he was 15 and you were 11. He had beat you time and time again and eventually you were so angry that you let yourself slip and charged straight at him. He easily blasted you back with his flames and scarred your midriff with a burn that was still healing.
You had felt crazy, like you couldn’t control anything. Your emotions swept you up like ocean waves and tumbled you through a sea of hatred. Finally, you got a better hold of concealing and coping with such emotions, and anger was one you thought you mastered.
And yet, here you were. Up in your room at 2 in the morning, reliving your conversation with Bakugou from an hour ago, comparing your anger from a few hours ago to the anger you felt when you were 11.
You felt like such an idiot, and you had no one to blame but yourself. You were one who got angry first. Not Bakugou. You can’t say that Bakgou’s anger made you angry because he simply asked you a question. You wished you could take it back. You wished you could have just told Bakugou that it’s sad and a bit personal, but that maybe one day you would tell him. Then you could have thanked him for the food and cleaned the dishes.
But no. Your loud mouth just had to get mad. How dare he ask you a question that was obviously personal?
You sighed and rotated in your bed, pushing your face into your pillow and groaning. You felt like such an idiot and you knew you should apologize, but apologizing to Bakugou was more than difficult. Why would he, in the first place, wanna talk to you? And on top of that, when you apologized, he would probably just laugh in your face, call you a moron, and walk away.
Fuck.
You grabbed your phone and turned on a playlist that helped you fall asleep. You let the music take you away, hoping that your next day was better, seeing as it was only the second school day of the week.
~~
Tuesday started quickly.
You had forgotten to set an alarm and was woken up 30 minutes before you had to leave for class. You jumped out of bed and thanked Ashido for waking you before throwing on your school uniform and making sure your earbuds were still in.
You knew you had enough time to get ready but were disappointed in not being able to go on your morning run. You had washed your face last night and decided to skip doing it again because you were low on time and not very sweaty without your morning run.
You grabbed a select amount of toiletries as well as your school bag and rushed downstairs. You brushed your teeth, fixed your hair, and applied minimal makeup in the communal bathroom. You opted for leaving everything in the bathroom because you were out of time. Once ready, you grabbed one of the many protein bars in the kitchen and followed Ashido and Toru outside.
From there, the day slowed down drastically.
With no morning run to wake you up, your brain was running on nothing and the lectures you had throughout the day dragged on. It especially didn’t help that your whole body ached from your argument. Your mind clouded itself with thoughts of what you could have done better. Your stomach churned at the thought of how much Bakugou must hate you now. And your heart begged to go back in time and answer Bakugou no matter how personal.
Dumb.
People are not supposed to listen to their hearts all the time for a good reason. Telling Bakugou would have been a bigger mistake than how you actually reacted.
At one point, you decided to get up and take a walk to the bathroom, hoping it would wake you up. However, you quickly realized that you still had no idea where anything was and so after wandering for a couple of minutes, you decided to give up and just go back to class.
When you came back in, the sound of the door caused a few people to look towards you, Bakugou being one of them. You couldn’t read his face, but he watched you go back to your desk while everyone else was already looking back up at Aizawa-sensei.
You felt your face flush. You were too prideful and anxious to actually apologize to Bakugou. But you were disappointed in yourself for reacting the way you did. You spared a glance back to the blonde boy who was now writing down something in his notebook. His eyebrows furrowed together and he was biting his bottom lip.
What is he so focused on?
You thought about taking out your earbuds, but decided against invading his privacy. Sometimes it’s better to just leave someone alone.
By lunch, you felt like you were about to fall asleep. However, the sweet and savory aroma of Lunch Rush’s food quickly woke you up. You grabbed a caffeinated drink as well as a hearty meal that would help balance your lack of nutritious food that day. You also knew you were going to have to work out after class and grabbed some fruits and another protein bar for later.
You didn’t contribute much to the conversation during lunch because you were busy eating, but Ashido and Hagakure were talking enough for the three of you. This time you sat at a bigger table with Momo Yaoyorozu and Kyoko Jirou. Neither girl talked as much as Ashido and they could tell you were too tired to answer any questions they may have for you.
During the latter end of lunch, Momo did ask you a few questions about your quirk and your fighting style considering how well you did against Bakugou.
“Oh, honestly, I’m just lucky he didn’t know my quirk. I’m sure that if he knew my quirk then he would be able to get the upper hand,” You replied as Toru complimented you on the fight.
“That may be true, but you also waited to put him asleep. If you battled him again, the second you touched him, he would be done for,” Jirou retorted, playing with her aux as if it was hair.
“I guess so,” You started, “But some people are better at fighting against my quirk. For example, if someone needs help to sleep, I can help them with no friction. But for people who don’t want to, I have to be touching them for them to stay asleep and I have to concentrate more. In fact, if I battled Bakugou again, he might see that move coming and be so resistant that it could drain me enough for him to send an explosion my way and push me back.”
Momo gasped at your analysis. “You know your quirk so well!”
"Yeah, I’m trying to understand it and make it stronger every day,” You replied.
“Ooh, ooh!” Ashido interjected, way too excited for how drained you still felt. “Try and make me sleep, I’ll try my hardest to stay awake.”
You laughed, closed your eyes, and grabbed her hand. The process starts with you calming her down. Slowly and slowly you eased her of all her stresses and worries. When you change people’s emotions, you can sometimes see the colors. Red and purples vanished, being replaced by cool tones of blue. Ashido’s breathing slowed down and you knew her heart rate was slowing down as well. She was trying her best to resist, but it was fruitless. It was like a light switch appeared, brighter than everything else. If you flipped the switch, she would fall asleep. You used your powers to flip the switch, she fell asleep, and the blues turned darker to show you she was no longer conscious.
The rest of the table erupted into giggles as Ashido started snoring.
You let go of her hand and Ashido woke up suddenly. She blinked a couple of times and looked around the table as if she had no memory of falling asleep. The table erupted into laughter again. “
Sorry,” You said between laughs.
“It’s okay,” Ashido replied cheerfully before she grabbed her drink.
"It’s amazing to see it happen up close, and so slowly too!” Momo commented, smiling brightly at you.
You bashfully accepted the compliment before Ashido grabbed everyone’s attention with a long story about something that happened at the mall the other day.
~~
After class, you asked Ashido to show you to the training grounds seeing as you left your map of the school at home. She happily obliged and took you to the locker rooms where you grabbed your clothes from her locker and changed. You really had to ask someone where your locker was.
While you changed, she grabbed you a map of the school from the main office, and pointed out the multiple training areas. You thanked her and asked if she wanted to work out with you, but she replied that she prefers working out at night. You nodded and waved goodbye to her as you made your way to a facility with treadmills and other gym equipment.
You spent your afternoon doing a simple workout of running and muscle building. You still were too nervous to explore more into the other facilities. You also had to unpack your room so more intense training would have to wait.
By dinnertime, you were finally back in the dorms. You quickly made your way to the showers with a pair of fresh clothes to put on once clean. After showering, you washed your face and made your way back to your room.
The messy room stared back at you as you opened your door.
You groaned, knowing it would take forever to finish decorating. You put away your toiletries and dirty clothes before deciding that you needed a post workout snack.
~~
By the time you did get around to cleaning up your room, the sky was dark and the sun was replaced by a glowing moon.
You frowned at the boxes of your belongings. You grabbed a small, white bookcase you owned and made slow work of nailing it to the wall. You started placing your books and some decorative trinkets inside. Your clothes were put away into your drawers and the closet so you spent most of your time unpacking smaller items.
After a solid two hours of work, your room looked much nicer.
Your bed was made with sheets that were gold and your duvet was white. On top of the bed was a knitted, pastel pink blanket that helped tie in the black bed frame to the bright white blanket. Your desk was right next to your bed and was quite plain with no drawers. You had textbooks on the table as well as a small, gold organizing drawer that held almost nothing. It was supposed to help with containing paperwork and old assignments, but you didn’t have any yet.
Your bookcase was on the opposite wall and was surrounded by a few old photos and posters. By your door was a shelf that you kept all your toiletries on. They were organized into small baskets so you could easily grab them. One held skincare items and your toothbrush while the other had everything you needed for showering.
You smiled at your work and decided it was enough for the day considering there were only a couple boxes left of things you just needed to shove into the empty drawer in your bed frame.
You sighed and sat on your bed, grabbing your water and taking big swigs. The clock in your room read 11:00 pm.
You still had a math assignment to finish before class tomorrow. Stupid hero school, still making us learn general education. At least it was only small assignments and no major essays or anything. Or at least you hoped there were no essays.
You grabbed your bag and pulled out a pencil and some graphing paper. You sat at your desk and opened up your textbook, slowly solving each equation. You weren’t one to stay up late, even though 11 wasn’t actually too late. You opted for working out in the morning usually so by this time you were almost always tired. The workout you did today tired you out more than woke you up, and the energy drink you had with dinner was finally wearing off.
Finally, you finished your homework and slid into bed. You were wearing comfy clothes and was too exhausted to wash your face and brush your teeth before sleep finally took you.
~~
You woke up to your alarm the next day and made quick work of changing into your workout clothes. Your body ached slightly from the muscle-building yesterday, but you ignored the pain as you grabbed your phone and made your way downstairs.
You stepped out into the cool air and started stretching your body, hearing the cracks of bones and reveling in the feeling of your healing muscles. Once done, you looked around into the open area. You were still on the school grounds, but your building was so far away from everyone else that it felt as if you weren’t even in school.
You turned on some music and began your run. You stayed in the area, only going around the building and the nearby area. During your run, you were able to let go of any of your thoughts and worries, only focusing on your breathing and the music playing in your ears.
That was until you rounded the corner of the dorm building to come face to face with the fiery redhead in your class known as Kirishima Eijirou.
“Oh, oh! I’m so sorry!” You practically shouted as you stumbled back to prevent yourself from bumping into your stretching classmate.
Kirishima stood up and scratched the back of his head, “It’s no problem!”
However, with your music, his words were muffled and you quickly paused your music. “Sorry?”
“I just said it was no problem,” He responded, waving you off sheepishly. “Ah” You nodded.
“Thanks. I must not have been paying much attention. I don’t really know the campus yet so I was just running around here.”
“Oh, well, we do have a gym with treadmills or you could go down to the track if that’s what you are looking for,” Kirishima commented. His posture relaxed and he leaned his body weight to one side.
“Hmm, I’ll have to check out the track. I went to the gym yesterday although I prefer running outside,” You responded. “Thanks!”
“Anything to help possibly the strongest girl in our class!” Kirishima smiled brightly at you, his sharp teeth grabbing your attention.
You laughed a little too loud at that. “Jeez, that’s a big claim considering you’ve only ever seen me fight once!”
“Well, it was against Bakugou. He is first in our class technically. Although that’s probably because Todoroki and Midoriya hold back during fights,” He mumbled the last part, but you made a note to ask him more about that later.
“That doesn’t mean I am the strongest. All of us have our strengths and weaknesses,” You responded, blushing a little. It seemed like everyone here thought you were so strong. You weren’t so sure though.
“Wow, and so humble too. How honorable!” He commented.
“Stop! Seriously!” You were blushing pretty hard at this point. You weren’t complimented this heavily back home. Since more people knew your mom in America, you were usually expected to be the best, especially because your siblings were all up and coming or already succeeding heroes. Your oldest sibling was 14 years older than you and had made her debut over 10 years ago.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you,” Kirishima responded.
“It’s okay,” You waved him off, before using your cold hands to cool down your face. “I should get back inside anyway, I still need to get ready for the day.” Kirishima nodded, waving goodbye to you as you jogged past him and up to the front steps of the dorm.
Once inside, you grabbed a glass of water and rode the elevator to the top floor. You finished the glass as you arrived in your room and set it down on the desk. You took out your earbuds before grabbing your school uniform. You placed it on top of your toiletries baskets and made your way to the bathroom.
The bathrooms were arranged quite weirdly, but you tried not to pay too much attention to it. When you entered, the bathroom was plain with 6 stalls to your left and 3 sinks to your right. There were two hand dryers as well.
Opposite to the entrance were 4 doors, each leading to a different shower. There weren’t any signs differing gender, but Ashido mentioned that almost all the girls exclusively used to one on the far left.
Besides this unusual set-up, there were also a few differences purely based on American vs. Japanese culture. For one, the stalls had no gaps between doors and walls. They looked much cleaner and modern than the bathrooms in America. On top of that, each toilet was equipped with a bidet. Before, you never had time to think about the differences, but now that you were able to casually get ready, you couldn’t stop noticing the subtle and major differences.
You showered, making sure to keep your still fairly clean hair dry, and washed your face before changing unto your uniform and stepping out into the communal area. You used the mirror in front of the sink to fix your hair and put on some makeup. You cherished how slowly you were able to get ready. The peaceful morning was something you came to love. Your house was always hectic so having your own time in the morning was your favorite.
The door to your right clicked and Uraraka proceeded to walk into the bathroom as you pinned your hair out of your face. She was still in her pajamas and smiled at you before yawning and walking into the far left shower. You waved back and then turned to face the mirror again.
Even with the wall dividing you two, you could still tell she had been thinking about her dream last night. When she turned on the shower, the sound and wall were able to cover up her thoughts enough for you to easily ignore them. You started putting on your makeup as Uraraka showered, the steam emitting from her shower slowly creeped out of the small cracks in the door. Luckily, the bathroom was too big to fog up the mirrors.
You were almost done with your makeup when the shower turned off. Through your mirror, you saw her emerge, much more awake than when she entered.
You smiled at her, “Good morning,” You spoke quietly as you sprayed your face with setting spray.
“Good morning, L/N-san,” She replied, stepping in front of the mirror to your right and brushing out her hair.
“How did you sleep?” You asked her as you stared into the mirror, making sure your makeup was perfect.
Ugh, even with eight hours, I am so tired. “Good, and you?” She responded.
You refrained from commenting on her thoughts, thinking it was best to ignore it. “I slept well, I’ve been pretty tired lately with all the changes though,” You said. You placed your clothes on top of your toiletries.
Uraraka hummed in understanding. “I’m sure you’ll be more accustomed soon.”
Just then, Bakugou walked into the bathroom and your heart began beating faster. You didn’t know if it was out of fear for the argument the other night or because his bed head was just that adorable.
Stop thinking that way! You idiot! You thought, looking away from him to focus on your makeup again.
He grumbled to himself as he walked to the sink to your left. He looked at you with a scowl on his face before looking away and turning on the hot water. You took a moment to admire his sweatpants that settled low on his hips and the old band t-shirt he wore.
What is she looking at? Bakugou thought to himself when your eyes lingered on him longer than ideal.
Fuck. Hearing people’s thoughts can be so embarrassing. Maybe I should have the support group here make me some water-proof ones, you thought as Bakugou’s thoughts meddled and surpassed Uraraka’s more peaceful and quiet ones.
Stupid morning. I hate this! I need a nap and it’s only 8:00 in the morning! It’s too early for this! Bakugou thought as he splashed his face with hot water.
You giggled to yourself. Maybe it isn’t too bad hearing people’s thoughts. When Bakugou heard you, he made quick work of glaring at you. He noticed you weren’t wearing your earbuds because your hair was pinned back.
His eyes formed slits as he stared at you. Do you like reading my thoughts, shit face? You better stop before I hit you.
You laughed again.
As he spoke to you through his thoughts, his subconscious thoughts and feelings also poked through, letting you know he really wouldn’t hit you if it came down to it. Honestly, it felt pretty good knowing that.
“Bakugou, you can talk to me through your thoughts, but I can still hear your subconscious thoughts. I know you wouldn’t really hit me in front of people.” You replied.
Uraraka looked at you confused before she remembered you could hear thoughts.You heard her thoughts panic for a moment over whether or not you were listening to her thoughts. Uraraka still didn’t know you very well and was worried if you would use this against her, which didn’t settle very well with you.
However, before you could become too concerned with Uraraka, Bakugou spoke again.
“Whatever,” He mumbled before starting to brush his teeth rather violently. However, his thoughts were much more upset over the idea that you were able to beat him in his own game.
Although nervous, you felt better about being able to get through your conversation with Bakugou. His thoughts didn’t make him seem that angry and he wasn’t thinking about that night so maybe he didn’t care. Or maybe he was too tired to be thinking properly.
You grabbed your items and made your way to the door. “Bye,” You spoke as you opened the door even with full hands and made your way back to your dorm room. Once inside, you placed your things back on the shelf and put your clothes into your hamper. You had left your towel in the bathroom to dry.
You packed up your bag for the day and made your way downstairs with your backpack and the water glass. You still had 20 minutes to make breakfast so you started whipping up something quick. You thought about whether or not you should make food for other people, but decided against it when you only saw Aoyama and Tokoyami on this floor. You never even talked to them before. And who knew who was already at school or already ate?
You finished the savory meal and quickly cleaned the pan and spatula before the food had a chance to stick to it and cool down. You grabbed chopsticks from the drawer and filled your water glass before digging in. You finished just in time to clean the bowl and chopsticks. You grabbed your bag and rushed out the door. You didn’t see Ashido or Toru so you just walked by yourself and put on some music.
Within a couple of minutes, you were in the classroom and met the faces of almost everyone in the class. You quickly took your seat and pulled out your notebook and pen before turning off your music.
You took a deep breath and looked around the sea of people. Midoriya and Iida were at Uraraka’s desk, talking about this and that. Ojirou was quietly talking with Toru while Ashido animatedly talking to Kirishima. Momo was quietly reading a book while Kaminari and Jirou shared music together through earbuds.
Once Aizawa entered the class, everyone sat back down in their respective seats and quieted down. His dry eyes stared back at the class. “So,” He began, “Elemental has been going to all the other classes for the last couple days, but today she is visiting our class. So, here she is,” His voice was gravely, as if he just woke up.
In walked your mom with a bright smile. “Hello everyone,” She waved her hand. Her posture was similar to All Might’s. She commanded the room and everyone looked at her.
You quickly took off your earbuds, unable to resist hearing people’s thoughts at first seeing your mom.
Wow, she looks even stronger in person! You looked at Midoriya’s glowing eyes as he gushed over her.
Dang, she looks cool, Jirou thought.
Ugh, I still don’t get what all the hype is about, Bakugou thought as he stared at your mom. He felt your eyes on him and looked at you, glaring because he could see you weren’t wearing your earbuds. What are you looking at, huh? You mad I don’t love your mom?
You glared back at him, wishing your quirk went both ways so you could retaliate.
Bakugou smirked, realizing she couldn’t respond to him. Huh? It’s kind of nice not being able to hear your retorts. This is pretty godda-
You angrily put your earbuds back in. Fuck you, you thought harshly. Maybe if you thought hard enough, you would get the thought across him.
You looked back at your mom who was in the middle of a speech.
“So, to summarize, I am here to help with people whose quirks revolve around elements. Like, Todoroki-san or Kaminari-san.” She finished.
Aizawa stepped up from the background. “The students in this class who will be attending meetings with Elemental will be Todoroki, Bakugou, Kaminari, Asui, and Uraraka. Some of you for more obvious reasons than others. These practices will be taking place after lunch starting this Friday. You will spend three hours working with her every Monday and Friday. Now, thank you for coming, Elemental. Everyone say ‘thank you.’”
“Thank you,” A chorus of students spoke.
“Of course! I’ll see some of you soon,” She replied before looking at you. In English, she spoke. “You better come see me soon, sweetheart. I miss you and want to hear all about your fight against that boy.” You blushed as everyone looked at you.
“Okay,” You mumbled, covering your red cheeks and looking down at your desk.
“Good,” Your mom replied before leaving the room.
God, it’s so like her to embarrass me whenever she can!
“Okay, let’s get to business,” Aizawa spoke, slurring his words. “Today is hero course day. Go ahead and change into your training uniforms and then meet All Might at Cityscape 2.”
The class got up and started making their way out to the changing rooms. You got up quickly and made your way to your teacher.
“Aizawa-sensei. I haven’t gotten a locker yet in the changing rooms. I was wondering if you knew which one was mine?” You timidly asked.
“Huh? Oh, let me check.” Aizawa grabbed some papers from his bag and looked through them as the class left the room. “Hmm, uhhh, here it is. Okay, you are assigned to locker 27. The lock code is 15397.”
You grabbed a pen off Aizawa’s desk and wrote the number on your hand, too afraid you would forget. “Perfect, thank you, Aizawa-sensei.”
“No problem,” He responded quietly, as if already almost asleep.
You left the room, trailing a little far behind the class. You were lucky that you remembered where the changing room was at this point so you could catch up easily. You were the last person to enter the changing room and you went over to Ashido to grab your clothes.
“I found out what locker I have,” You said to her as you grabbed your clothes from her locker.
“Nice!” She replied. “Which one is it?”
“27,” You responded. You looked up to see Ashido was locker 176. “I guess I should go find it.” You wandered away, turning the corner to find your locker. When you found it, you realized you were right by Jirou and Tsu. You smiled at the two girls before unlocking the locker and changing into your clothes.
They didn’t smell too bad, but you knew you were going to need to wash them sooner than later. Maybe you would even sweat enough today that you would need to wash them today. Where do I even go to wash clothes? You wondered as you tied up your shoes. You made a mental note to ask someone where the laundry room was.
Just then, Ashido and Toru turned the corner to greet you. “Ready to go to Cityscape, Y/N-chan?” Toru asked you.
“Yeah,” You responded as you stood up.
“Perfect, let’s go!” Ashido spoke as she turned on her heel and led you and Toru out of the lockers.
Jirou and Momo were ahead of you as well as a few guys from the class that you hadn’t really talked to yet. Toru was telling Ashido and you a story about Ojirou. Ironically, he was one of the guys ahead of you. You couldn’t see her, but you were sure that if you could, she would be blushing.
Eventually, you exited the building and walked just a bit longer to the training ground. More students were already there. It seemed like the class was only waiting on Kaminari and Sero. Everyone stood in front of All Might, talking quietly as they waited for the last two students. Soon enough, they came running towards the group, mumbling something about forgetting Aizawa said Cityscape 2 and not Cityscape 1.
“Ha Ha Ha!” A loud and deep voice laughs. You look over to see All Might in his flexed form. He was standing tall, his chest was pushed forward, and his hands were on his hips.
You ‘awed’ at the sight. You had never seen him in this form in person and you knew it must hurt him to do it. Even just his body was captivating and loud, demanding everyone’s eyes. He was smiling so brightly one second and then the next-
Poof.
All Might was now back to his regular self. His uniform swallowed him up and his lanky body now stood in front of the class. Even though it was only for a minute, you were more than ecstatic to be able to see his flexed form. You looked at the class around you, their faces hardly changed as they saw him go between forms. They must have been so used to it by now, considering it had been almost a year since his fight with All for One.
“Let’s get started today, young students!” All Might spoke, grabbing everyone’s attention. “Today, we are utilizing your quirks in a classic game of capture the flag.”
#boku no hero academia#boku no hero headcanons#my hero academia#my hero academy#bakugo#bakugou#bakugo katsuki#bakugou katsuki#katsuki#bakugo x reader#bakugou x reader#bakugo katsuki x reader#bakugou katsuki x reader#katsuki x reader#bnha bakugou#bnha fanfiction
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ACOFAS REVIEW -INC SPOILERS
4.5 stars.
Okay, so! This was the first book I was able to finish in 2021. I've kinda been in a reading slump, and struggling to get past the 30-50% of books. I think its because I took essentially 3 months off my normal (daily) reading schedule and have been prioritising other things (health, fitness, job applications etc) - I think it's a testament to how addicted I was to this that I finished and consumed this at the rate I did!
I recently went back and added some things to my ACOWAR review. To briefly summarise, I feel that, at the time I read it, it kind of gave me what I needed, but it definitely isn't getting a re read - my love for feysand has definitely lessened over time, but honestly i'm not that mad at sarah for this, as I find that whenever I've passed the sexual tension part of relationships in books, I tend to get bored of the domestic bliss. Like, leave that shit for an epilogue and keep it at that? As someone generally averse to relationships, but there is definitely a grace period for how long I can actively be smitten with a couple... before it becomes sickly. Taking all this into account, I honestly was nervous for this book, its release date totally took me by surprise, and I read it on a whim.
As a Nessian shipper (I mean we didn't really have a choice after acomaf but to delve into the world of fanfic to keep us going) - this book gave me most of what I wanted and needed from them! I think,(some) kudos to SJM, for not disappointing in their relationship. This was definitely a character > plot driven story.
In terms of the plot, I wasn't really invested until around the 38% mark? I'm not sure if I was adjusting to the writing style (lots of dramatic. sentences. that. are. so. abrupt. Nesta Archeron. Death etc) - or if it was bc I hadn't read an SJM book since the novella, which I basically skimmed. I was obviously reading for Nessian, but I didn't really feel intrigued by the wider plot (death gods, the human queens? Given I had lost my previous obsession with the world/ have outgrown 'fandom' culture, that made me actively update my knowledge, I couldn't remember a lot!) I think its clear that SJM excels character driven stories, but I think her worldbuilding and execution is significantly better in the throne of glass franchise.
Now, I did say this was a character driven story. This is mostly regarding Nesta, Cassian and Azriel. I loved pretty much any interaction they had! I love a good training montage. Ngl though, I think, unless you possess an ardent love for Nessian, you're not going to be particularly wowed by this, if you've read heir of fire, or even acomaf. I obviously am never going to be able to be objective, because I've loved nessian so much from 2017-now, but I loved the dynamic those two (and three - friendship wise between nes/cass/az). One of the highlights of ACOWAR for me was the snippets of Az, showing tenderness, and opening up to the newer members of the inner circle (and i'm excluding any hint of an Elriel ship because FUCK THAT LOL)
For me, the tip with SJM books is: once you outgrow them/the particular mode of narrative style, is to not anticipate anything other than a character driven story, albeit one riddled with smut. I personally am a romance heavy reader, so I'm honestly deconditioned to it at this point, (like, when I see reviewers scandalised I'm like... wow, the amount of trash I have consumed in the last five years loool.) While I disagree with the fact SJM marketed this series as y/a (or maybe it wasn't her per se, but the key booksellers definitely did this for her) - I think its clear enough now she's descended into the adult/borderline erotica genre.(very mild imo). I personally like to adopt a policy of skimming sex scenes when I find the dialogue cringy (most the time it is lets be honest any talking is v second hand embarrassment). Cassian and Nesta were definitely better than Rhys and Feyre post chapter 55 though! I was so glad there weren't a million moments of Cass/Nesta betraying their arousal with their scents, in front of everyone (like feysand, the voyeuristic pda pricks they are). I found the slowburn ish nature of their relationship great, and I actually think if you're a virgo/emotionally stunted reader, you will be happy with their relationship dynamic. It contrasts with the daemati sexual snark of acomaf, but it felt right, and authentic.
This book was a journey of personal growth, for Nesta. It is clear SJM loves books about strong women, and maybe thats what makes me love this book so much. I think, out of all the archeron sisters, I love Nesta the most. This is for my Rose Calloway fans, my misunderstood, somewhat cold/left out girls, who are less receptive to being vulnerable. If you're a slowburn fan, it's not Mariana Zapata levels of slowburn, imo it's the perfect combo. Addictive enough that I don't want to put it down, but not so fast moving that I couldn't believe it. I loved the sex without emotion relationship they had!! This is honestly never done in mainstream n/a fantasy, unless its a caricature of a 'slut' that normally rivals the main character, lmao. Even if their inner conflict was p transparent, this gave me everything I needed! I know this is vapid lol but I also love the physical dynamic between the two, they just look so good together, the amount of fanart I'm going to reacquaint myself with after this review!! I adored seeing Nesta grow, (even if towards the end I kind of resented her sudden acceptance into the inner circle, i get SJM loves her and just wanted a fluffy ending, but, as a Nesta like character, it's awkward and stilted on her end to adjust to the inner circle like this - i mean, hugging rhys, really??)
I think, if I had to compare this to any other SJM book, I would say Chaols book (though I obviously preferred this). That being said, I felt less attached to new characters in this book than I was in even Chaols book (and even then ngl I remember nothing?) Obviously I loved what it represented, as a trio of traumatised women. I just, didn't love this the way I loved other inner circle members! I get that they gave Nesta exactly what they needed, a family that doesn't hold the history of her sisters, who she doesn't have to worry about holding preconceived notions of disappointment. I loved this for her! Even then.. I just wasn't attached to either of them. I found their interactions cute - but boring. Towards the end, when their stories/pasts are revealed, I couldn't help but cringe slightly, I can't put my finger on why, but I just didn't buy it. Maybe it's the brit in me but I couldn't be moved by this slightly forced bonding moment.. which was so anticlimactic. My 'aww how cute' tolerance is defo deserved for characters whose tropes I love. Maybe they just didn't fit into this list. Maybe I'm just being a cow here?
Now, let's speak about the real star of the show.... A FUCKING MAGICAL HOUSE FRIEND??? YESSSSSSS. IF YOU ARE AN ILONA ANDREWS INNKEEPERS CHRONICLES FAN, U WILL LOVE! How was the animation of this somehow more touching than all of nesta's other friendships combined? Exactly what I ordered, thank you. This trope somehow touches more than any material bonding!! The cute witch x house dynamic (also maybe howls moving castle vibes?) I loved the trying to reach the target of 10,000 steps (a little Celaena HOF). I think this, heir of fire and acomaf are my favourite SJM books for this reason.
Gripes: I definitely had some personal gripes with how other members of the inner circle treated Nesta (rhys i'm looking at you. Disappointed doesn't even cover it.) I inherently take offence to any elain scene, as i'm so over bland characters whose existence is reduced to wanting to fucking plant flowers?? like?? really? To go from moriel to that is such a downgrade, even if I fell out of love with Mor due to the way she snubbed Nesta (you're a 500 year old being and you can't see someone is clearly traumatised?). I adore Az so much, but if it aint polyamorous, I cannot see any pairing with Elain making me happy. (wouldn’t mind gwyn though) I think the whole mating bond that I do not want is a good dynamic, but I really hate that everyone has to be mates in this world. I don't think we were that surprised, but it would've been nice if the somehow, idk, developed a strong bond over time, without it being preordained? Like, even if they do not all actively stay with their mate, given how disproportionate mates are among the general population, what's the likelihood 6 members of the inner circle (including lucien) have mates?
My advice? Read this book if you love nessian and the acotar world in general, but don't expect the world building to be consistent with greater fantasy series'. This style of story is obviously what to expect. She writes what she likes, and if her fantasy is this - then who are we, as readers, to expect otherwise?
Final rating: 4.5 (no, i'm not objective, but objectivity does not exist if you are a real, human being, lol)
Original Characters: 5/5 (nessian/az/house wise) 1/5 (feysand - really over how they essentially take over the very end of the book - ugh, I wanted nesta's arc to be wholly separate from them)
Writing style: 3.5
Cringe Scale: Low, with the exception of some dialogue.
New Characters: 2
Plot: I went into it with a 2 and came out with a 4. Not in terms of complexity, but in terms of how addictive and enjoyable this reading experience was! (less)
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A Soul to Mend His Own | Ch. 29
Warning, if it hasn’t been obvious in the movies there is Nazi symbolism within the First Order. I will expand on this much more throughout the story. If this is something that bothers you, please just exit the story. The author does not condone any Nazi ideals, this is just for fictional uses only.
A Kylo Ren x Modern! Reader in a soulmate au with some canon divergence. —————————————SLOWBURN————————————–
He is already the Supreme leader, searching the universe to find you, his Empress. Your name on his wrist has been the only constant in his life, while you have doubts about his existence and his acceptance of you. He isn’t in the database and why did the name Kylo Ren cover Ben Solo?
MASTERLIST
Chapter 29: Blackout
You felt groggy. Blinking. You heard a familiar voice that wasn’t Kylo’s, but you also heard his. They were speaking to each other. You heard your name. You tried to focus. You were now lying down and not on the couch--when did you lie down? You were in his bed, Kylo’s bed. Your sense of smell was still working if only your eyes would focus.
Blinking a few more times you could tell it was bright. Until a large object was in your vision. You started to focus. You recognized the face of Dr. Dabrini. Hw was saying something but your hearing wasn’t fully back yet. You could pick up only some of what he was saying. You could tell that he was trying to get you to talk. You tried, your mouth felt like a field of cotton in late august. Nothing came out but you could see a large shape move behind the doctor. A glass of water came to your lips, you were able to recognize Kylo’s gloved hand.
The water helped immensely. “What happened,” you ask but your voice sounded foreign to your own ears. You sounded like you had been smoking 3 packs a day for 30 years.
“You passed out Lady Ren. Your heart rate was highly elevated, too high. Let us wait a few more moments until you are fully awake,” said Dr. Dabrini.
You mentally did a full body check. Other than feeling like you were hit by a truck you felt ok. Everything seemed to move. You moved to sit up. You felt a pair of hands helping guide you. It took a lot of effort to look over at who it was but you did and of course, it was Kylo.
You made a note that you needed to memorize those strong hands of his. You could feel him put pillows behind you assisting you upright.
You definitely needed to memorize those hands.
You took a moment to regain yourself as sitting up felt like you ran a marathon. “I’m ready.”
“Well, Lady Ren there isn’t much that I can tell you. I know the subject of your relationship with the Supreme Leader can be a touchy one,” he said looking over at Kylo who was now standing rigid at the other side of the bed.
“But as your physician at the moment it is my duty to inform you such things. The Supreme Leader informed me of the nature of your passing out and I have come to a conclusion that correlates with your current condition. There is a very small portion of the population has your condition. I can assume that because of your reaction that you and the Supreme Leader have yet to consummate your match. I suggest you refrain from such an act until you do. You have no judgment from me.”
“All he did was kiss my wrist.”
“Yes, my lady. But the condition that you have is currently unnamed but does not last long as most matches consummate soon or they refrain from such intimacy until they do.”
“Intimacy? All he did was kiss my wrist,” you repeat.
“Yes, your condition involves added nerve endings on your wrist, under his name. This act, this kissing stimulated the nerve endings too much. After you consummate things these nerve endings become less sensitive. They are most sensitive when you are in direct contact with your match, the lips being one of the most stimulating body parts to the wrist. Although you may have touched each other’s wrists before I suspect you may have only felt small jolts of electricity or goosebumps. I believe the Supreme Leader would rather not test this but I have a feeling that he may have a very similar reaction if you were to reciprocate the action.”
You looked at Kylo who looked guilty, like a small child who got caught stealing from the cookie jar. His head was downturned and his shoulders slouched.
You turned back to the doctor, “Is that everything?”
“Yes, It is doctor’s orders that you rest for the rest of the evening. You will be fine tomorrow, but you should refrain from anything too strenuous or stressful tonight,” he said pointedly as he looked at Kylo who half turned away. “I also will tell you to refrain from doing so again, unless you desire the same result, which once won’t be detrimental to your health but multiple times it may.”
“Thank you, doctor,” you said. With that, he left.
You and Kylo were now alone. He looked ashamed of himself, you could tell. You patted the bed next to you, inviting him to sit. He did. Neither of you spoke for a moment, but you hesitantly reach for his hand. And you hold hands for a while until you spoke up.
“We can move at our own pace. We don’t have to rush into things.”
His eyes which were previously focused on a spot on the mattress between you now shifted to your face. His brows twitched together for a moment before he shifted his gaze to the wall behind you.
Hurt, “I’m sorry. I hurt you again.” You could see a tear fall from his face, his breath hazardous.
You pull on his hand, tying and failing to bring him closer to you. “But you didn’t mean to. You wanted to make me happy, and believe me, I was.”
“I didn’t mean to but when you were unresponsive I looked into your mind. I needed to know you were all right.”
You were startled.”What did you see?”
He pulled his hand from yours and stood. His back was to you now. “Your discovery last night.” His voice was a mix of hurt, disgust, and anger.
“It’s not like I went looking for it,” you felt hurt by his reaction--his accusation.
He turned to you, his chest now puffed with anger lurking in his eyes. “No, but you found out.”
You were confused. This man just minutes ago, or was it hours, was kissing you, making your heart soar, but now it felt like it shattered into a million pieces. Your eyes drifted to your lap before you pulled your knees up to your chest and hugged them. “I’m sorry. It was a mistake.” you wanted to shrink, to shrink down so small that you could get lost between the threads of the sheets beneath you, between the threads of reality.
But Kylo’s reaction changed, you were expecting anger, but you were met with a hand on your cheek pulling up your face from where you had it buried between your knees. The hand you swore to memorize caressed your face, gone was the anger that he was just feeling. He crawled up to you, pulling you to his wide chest tucking your head into his neck. “I know.” His voice was now soft and quiet. It felt like a different person was speaking.
You stayed like that for a long time, until a weird beeping sound made him loosen his grip on you. He pulled out a small device from his pocket. General Hux’s voice came through, “Supreme Leader, I have yet to receive word from Lieutenant Mitaka on whether or not Lady Ren will be joining me for her tutoring session.”
You groaned and felt for your phone to find the time, it was 1:55 PM, your tutoring sessions usually started at 2 PM. You had yet to have lunch, and you suspected that Kylo hadn’t eaten either, because of recent events.
“She will not be joining you, tell the lieutenant to get a debriefing from the medical ward to keep in his file,” said Kylo into the device that he then put on the side table.
Your stomach growled signifying your lack of sustenance. There was a small smirk of amusement on Kylo’s face his eyes filled with mirth.
“Can we order food?”
You heard a small chuckle escape him that was enough to rock his broad chest. His hand shot out in front of you and his data pad appeared in his hand, or more like flew into his hand. He handed it to you and shift your positions on the bed. He was now the one laying back on the pillows by the headboard. Your back against his chest with tangled legs. His large hands splayed across your stomach.
You scrolled through the food options, although you were hungry you were taking your time. You settled on some sort of rice dish, that by the description reminded you of Chinese or Thai food. You asked Kylo what he wanted to eat. This time you were able to keep the data pad in your hands as he scrolled through the list of food choices. You took that moment to admire his long fingers, they were almost comically large and long. When he was finished he hit order and returned his hand to your stomach which promptly growled. He chuckled again.
His nose buried itself in your hair. You could feel his lips brush your scalp and a shiver went down your spine. He let out an amused hum. One of his index fingers started tracing a circle into you. His breathing had slowed, had calmed. You glanced up at him, his eyes were closed and he had a pleasant look on his face. This put a smile on your face.
A droid came in with your food. Kylo insisted that you do not move from the bed and you ate there. You did as he wished. Eating lunch in a pleasant silence. When the droid left with your trash you shifted in your position.
Your ear was now to his chest listening to his heartbeat, your hand joining you. Kylo’s hand was on your hip. His other hand was now moving back and forth across your shoulders.
That hand after a while shifted to stroke up and down your back. His hand started to drift lower and lower, skimming the top of the back of your pants. Shifting your shirt up to graze the small strip of free skin there. You felt hot once more with jolts of electricity shooting up your spine.
You shifted your head to look up at him. “We can’t.”
“I know.” His hand then moved to hold your ribcage. He shifted his face once more to your hair. His thumb now rubbing circles into your ribs. The hand that was on your hip moved to caress your cheek. His long fingers wrapping themselves in your hair. He tilts your face up to meet his.
He glances at your lips and back to your eyes. You were just an inch apart from your lips meeting. His eyes were staring deep into your soul. Just when you think he’s going in to kiss you he shifts, his lips landing on your forehead. Your heart speeds up.
Out of breath, because you didn’t realize you were holding it until now, “We can’t.”
He whispers, “I know.” His lips shift up to your hair once more. His cheek now resting against your crown.
“I want to wait. I want the moment to be just right. I want to know you, to really know you. And then to forget where you end and I begin. I don’t want to rush.” As you said this you traced and imaginary line down his sternum.
You felt him shift, for his lips to be in your hair again and then for his forehead to the top of your head. He let out a sigh, “I know.” The hand that was on your face shifted he hooked a finger under your chin pulling your face up once more. This time his thumb ran over your lips as his eyes shifted back and forth from your lips to your eyes. He was asking permission.
You gulp, your breath hitched, you but your lip and slowly nodded. He leaned in stopping only an inch from your lips. He asked, “may I?” He was asking permission again.
You closed your eyes and whispered, “Yes.”
#kylo ren#kylo ren x reader#kylo ren imagine#kylo x reader#kylo x you#star wars#first order#star wars imagine#Star wars soulmate au#sw first order imagine#star wars first order#a soul to mend his own
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We Are A Family-Part 32
Title: We Are A Family.
Pairings: Steve x tony, Peter x Wade, Nat x Clint, Sam x Bucky.
Part: 32/?
Warnings: swearing, fluff, angst, eventual smut, slowburn.
Summary: When Nat comes into the avengers tower with baby Peter Parker, the avengers didn’t know what they were getting themselves into. But now that Peter is here,Steve and Tony both feel protective over him. It doesn’t help that Peter hates everyone other than Steve and tony. But as Steve and tony raise Peter, they start to fall for one another. Will this superfamily work out or will it all turn to hell?
A/N: sorry for the angst lol
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29, Part 30, Part 31
Tony went to therapy and most days had to drag Steve to come with him. They were both struggling with coming to terms with the loss of their son. They were both struggling for different reasons. Tony because his son had died in his arms, Steve because he thought he should have been able to do something to prevent this.
“but how is the relationship between the two of you?” the therapist asked and Tony glanced over to Steve.
“It’s been good, but hard.” Steve said and Tony nodded.
“Why hard?” Steve glanced to Tony who gave Steve a gentle smile.
“Well, before Peter,” Steve swallowed and Tony took Steve’s hand. “We hated each other, and then we adopted him and uh, fell in love.” Tony nodded along, the therapist took note of something on her stupid clipboard. A part of Tony hated therapy, but he knew the benefit of going was worth sitting through these sessions. Even on the days where he felt like no progress had been made, like they weren’t getting anywhere. But the nightmares were becoming less frequent and his panic attacks weren’t lasting as long, so maybe things were improving.
“so without Peter…” she trailed off and Tony glanced out the window, wishing for this session to be over. at first all they talked about with their therapist was Peter, mourning and grieving, and they still were. But Tony hated talking about Pete, it was too painful on days like today.
“There’s no routine for us to fall back into, our old routine involved our son and now we don’t-“ Steve cut himself off and took a deep and calming breath and Tony squeezed Steve’s hand. A lump formed in his throat and he didn’t trust himself to speak without crying.
“have you considered adopting another child? There were plenty of children who lost their parents in the snap as it’s called.” Tony’s head snapped towards her, she smiled sympathetically and this time it was Steve’s turn to squeeze Tony’s hand.
“I’m not sure that we’re in the right place to take on a child.” Steve said and Tony nodded in agreement. He wouldn’t replace Peter, no fucking way.
“well I think it would be worth consideration.” Tony nodded politely, but had no intention with following through with it.
-
Steve was worried about Tony who was looking at the therapist like she’d grown a three extra heads.
“Thank you, we’ll think about it. another thing is, I don’t know what to call Tony.” Steve admitted and now Tony looked at Steve like he’d grown three extra heads.
“Huh?” Tony asked and Steve took a deep breath, he did that a lot nowadays. Took deep breaths to calm himself down so he didn’t say or do anything stupid or rash. Every day he and Natasha worked on their plan, determined to bring everyone back. Nat had employed several people to help, people who could look over the universe and throughout space for another solution, but they hadn’t found anything. And with each therapy session, Steve grew more frustrated.
“Well, when we meet new people…” Steve trailed off and Tony’s brows furrowed. He was so adorable when he looked like that. With wide eyes and brows drawn together that formed a little crease in his forehead. Not to mention the little pout he made.
“I still don’t get it Steve.” Tony said and Steve bit his lip, carefully choosing his next words.
“Well what are we doing exactly? We got divorced and-“
“You were brainwashed Steve.”
“But we still signed a legal document. So do I call you my boyfriend, ex-husband, husband, fiancé?” Tony leaned back into the seat and his face rearranged to his deep thinking face. The therapist took notes.
“So you want a label Steve?” The therapist asked and Steve shrugged.
“Yeah, I guess so. I just want to know where we stand and what this is exactly.” Tony bit his lip and Steve’s stomach flipped. If he could, he’d go back to being Tony’s husband in a heartbeat. But that may not be an option anymore, Tony might not be ready to make that commitment again. Yes they had said they were sorry and all was supposedly forgiven and understood and they both had said I love you, but that didn’t necessarily mean Tony wanted to get married again.
“Tones?” Steve asked after a long silence had filled the room. Tony’s eyes met Steve’s and his face softened, Steve wasn’t sure if that was a good sign. God, how was it after everything they’d been through-how could Tony still make Steve so nervous?
“I just wasn’t expecting that, I don’t know.” Steve nodded, unsure what that meant exactly.
“Would you like to get married again?” the therapist asked and Steve looked down at their hands. He wished he’d brought this up in private rather than in therapy.
-
Tony felt like he was a deer caught in headlights. What did he say? He didn’t know what was the right response here. Steve was looking at their hands and his breaths were deep and even. But Tony could practically feel the anxiety rolling off of him. If he took too long to answer, it would look like a no. but Tony didn’t want to say no, but he didn’t want to say yes either.
“Umm…” he trailed off as he searched for the words to explain himself.
“You know what, we don’t have to do this now, I have to meet Nat.” Steve pulled his hand free and practically ran from the room, Tony’s mouth fell open. Seriously? Did he really think that Tony was about to reject him?
“Tony?” the therapist asked and Tony turned back to her.
“I want to do it, I just always pictured Peter there if we did get married again. I guess it’s just another adjustment I need to make. It’s fine, I’ll talk to him.” Then Tony stood up and also left, they only had five minutes left of their appointment anyway. But by the time Tony got outside, Steve was long gone.
“Dammit Steven.” Tony grumbled but there was no one other than the secretary in the hallway to hear him.
-
The meeting with Natasha was as unsuccessful as all the other meetings had been. Steve walked around New York for an extra two hours before his feet carried him back home. He was nervous, and knew he’d upset Tony. He shouldn’t have walked out like that. But god, he was making a fool of himself. He was expecting too much, asking too much and he hadn’t been able to handle Tony’s rejection. But then again, Tony hadn’t said no. he hadn’t said anything really, just umm. Steve hadn’t given him the opportunity to say anything else. He hadn’t wanted to be rejected, but he had caught Tony off guard. When he let himself into the avengers compound it was quiet, empty. The lights were all off.
“Hello?” he called out just on the off chance that someone was hiding out in their room. But no one answered. He made his way to the kitchen and found a note waiting for him. It was Tony’s handwriting, and there was just an address. But Steve recognised it instantly, their old apartment. He pulled out his phone and called Tony.
“Steven.” Tony said and Steve’s stomach dropped.
“I know I shouldn’t have bailed, I’m sorry, but why do you want me to go to the apartment?” Steve asked and grabbed his keys.
“just get your ass over there, alright?”
“Are you mad at me?”
“ill see you soon.” And then Tony hung up. Dammit. Steve moved to the garage, each step he took made his stomach twist and churn in a new and different way. Tony was going to kill him. God, he was an idiot, he’d gotten a second chance and he’d ruined it. there was nothing else he could do now, he’d lost Tony.
-
Tony was nervous as he stood in the candlelit room. He anxiously waited for Steve to show up and his heart pounded in his chest, what if Steve didn’t come? What if Steve rejected him? How was he still so uncertain about their relationship, even after all these years?
“Tony?” he heard after a knock at the door. Tony took a deep and steadying breath and then Steve opened the door.
“Hey Stevie.” Tony said as Steve took in the scene before him; the empty apartment filled with lit candles, Tony in a suit in the middle of it all, on one knee and heart in his throat.
“Tones?” he asked and Tony smiled gently as Steve shut the door behind him.
“When someone asks you who I am, I don’t want their to be any uncertainty. I want you to be able to say I’m your husband, I want you to look at me and know that we are married, I don’t want their to be any confusion here. I don’t want it to be easy for one of us to ever walk away. I want us to be married again.” There it was, Tony’s heart out on the line. Yet again, and Steve could break it once again if he wanted. But Steve’s face just softened and he dropped to his knees, pulling Tony into a tight hug.
“I love you.” Steve whispered and Tony relaxed in Steve’s arms.
“Thank god.” He mumbled against Steve’s chest.
-
“I thought you were calling me over to dump me.” Steve admitted and Tony laughed.
“As if I could dump you.”
“After everything I’ve done?”
“We’ve been over that Steve, it wasn’t your fault.”
“it was still me, even if it was him, it was still me.”
“Do you understand how stupid you sound when you say that?” Tony asked and Steve snorted. But even though they’d agreed to get remarried, there was a heaviness in Steve’s chest.
“I have to tell you something.” Steve admitted and Tony quirked a brow.
“What?” but Steve couldn’t meet Tony’s eyes. He’d be angry, for Steve lying. For keeping a secret so huge. But Steve didn’t want to lie to Tony if they were getting remarried, he couldn’t keep this a secret.
“Nat and I, we’ve been working on bringing everyone back.” At that, Tony pulled out of Steve’s arms.
“What?”
“just because thanos destroyed the stones doesn’t mean they’re gone. their energy still exists, we just have to find it and learn how to harness it.”
“And then what?” Tony snapped and Steve suddenly felt defensive. He hadn’t expected Tony to be happy, but he also hadn’t expected so much anger.
“And then we’d bring everyone back. We’d bring Peter back.” Steve just wanted Tony to understand, wanted Tony to stop looking at him with so much anger.
“And what if it doesn’t work? What if it’s just one wild goose chase huh?” Tony asked and Steve shook his head.
“it’s not.”
“then what leads do you have. What proof?” tony was near hysterical and Steve winced, this had been a mistake but there was no going back now.
“none so far, but we’re working on it.”
“No, you’re not.” Tony shook his head and Steve frowned.
“what?”
“I can’t let you spend the rest of your life searching for him. You can’t chase a ghost for the rest of your life.”
“Don’t you want Peter back?”
“Of course I do! There’s nothing more that I could ever possibly want other than for Peter to be alive. But just because I want it doesn’t mean it’s something I can have. And I can’t let you chase this for the rest of your life. I won’t watch you lose yourself in this.” Steve was taken aback by that. Tony was furious but Steve couldn’t back down. He couldn’t let this go.
“I can’t just go on knowing that I should have been there.”
“is that what this is about?” Tony asked and Steve looked away, clenched his jaw.
“I should have been there.”
“But you weren’t. we lost and a lot of people died, including our son. But you can’t just bring him back, that option died when Thanos destroyed the stones.” Steve shook his head.
“That might be something you’re willing to accept, but not me. I have to keep fighting for our son.” Steve’s eyes met Tony’s and the scene that had originally seemed romantic now seemed like a nightmare.
“Steve we have to learn to let him go, we can’t just pretend like he’s going to walk through the door and come home from school at any moment. He’s gone and I miss him every fucking day, but I can’t let you do this.”
“You can’t stop me from doing this.” Steve said and the room fell silent. Steve hated this but he knew where this argument was going. He’d have to choose between saving Peter and losing Tony. How the hell was he supposed to choose between the two people that he loved the most in this world? Between his husband and his son?
“So that’s it then?” Tony asked, not voicing the ultimatum that he was giving Steve.
“I don’t want to lose you.” Steve whispered and Tony squeezed his eyes shut.
“Then give this up, let it go and we can learn to move on.” Tony pleaded but Steve shook his head.
“I can’t do that.” And so they stood there, taking one another in, like it was the last time they ever would.
#superfamily#superhero#super husbands#stony#stony fic#Avengers#The Avengers#avengers fic#avengers fluff#avengers angst#tony stark#tony stark rogers#Steve Rogers#steve stark rogers#peterparker#Iron Man#captain america#we are a family fic#wade wilson#deadpool#spiderman#spideypool
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I found this on twitter and wanted (try) to answer them here instead. :B Great questions! thanks. @LM_Nocass twitter.com/LM_Nocass/ status/1292935841258647553
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𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐲𝐥/𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐥/𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐲𝐥 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐝 (𝐩𝐥𝐬 𝐪𝐮𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲);
2:28 PM · Aug 10, 2020 --------------@LM_Nocass
1. Which part of herself does Carol see in Daryl? ||um same brokenness past and seeing that there’s good parts in him. He’s not like Merle and Ed.
2. Which part of himself does Daryl see in Carol? ||They both know what it’s like to be abused and have an understanding. He sees strength in her. /...I think they slowly start to think they’re not alone on feeling like the odd one out or fighting to live before Apoc. They eventually think they’re a lot alike and connected right away. s1-s2. I guess they both started to grow at the same time and look after each other’s back ever since.
3. If there was no za and they met each other, would they be so close? Why? ||Yeah I think so. But not so close or “early” on. Probably lil glimpse of like oh they’re alike and good people. But other things in the way...like Carol or Daryl be stuck in bad situations and die or something. Y’kno Daryl would’ve been like “mini Merle” or like.... dead from stopping a fight or prison. Carol could just be dead or lost herself from being with Ed. ...Unless they got away from their abusers :) I can see there’s a chance of them getting close. *”mini Merle” I think I got this phrase wrong. Mini Merle is Merle’s hand weapon thing. I meant that Daryl would have become more damaged,lost, and be similar to Merle then. ..like a younger Merle.
4. How do you think, Alexandria's ppl ship them or they don’t care? Why? ||
BTW, I think of what the writers want or had in mind.. Anyway, when Rlchonne happened or Abe and Sasha went canon, it just seems like very neutral whatever way. Well I guess the show isn’t that .. charactery and romantic. -_- Anyway, I think they care and are supportive and of all Team family but mind their business. I think practically everyone knows about Caryl and their close relationship. I guess they’re like in the same boat as us or general fans. We would be happy if they get together but if not then like ....hmm you guys are so together~ Um..I guess people would be going WTF if Caryl grew apart.
5. AU: real life. Which one of them is more attractive to believe in supernatural stuff? Why? || they both seem to be into that. erm I’ll say Daryl.
6. AU: real life. Which one of them is more attractive to send a lot of Red heartFace throwing a kissSmiling face with heart-shaped eyes and etc? Why? || Carol is more open to display of affection. But Daryl got his heart on his sleeves. He’s straightforward tells/show you how he feels and means it.
13. What would do today's Carol if she met someone like Ed? ||Probably she be able to stand up to him when he starts to be controlling and she speak out and say it’s not right. Idk..maybe them talking it out will make Ed change himself if he wants to. And she walks away from him early on.
14. If today's Carol met past Carol, what would she say to her? ||You’re stronger than you think you are. You are enough. These hard times made her wiser in Apoc./life. She’s always a mother..when they’re gone, they’re still with her.
15. If today's Daryl met past Daryl, what would he say to him? ||This doesn’t always have to be this way/Merle-life. You’re not alone. Good people will stick with you. Trust them. Your goodness matters. You don’t need to depend on Merle. If Merle wouldn’t change now then he won’t later on. Idk... Daryl is so loyal and to his brother. So it’s just he gotta let Merle/his past go.
16. Why does Daryl prefer the crossbow, not a bow? ||I guess that’s what hunters like to use most often. Idk.
17. AU: real life. Which one of them is most likely to surfing in the Internet for hours? Why? ||Carol because she mentioned internet in s4. lol Okay um yeah Carol I guess. I think she likes to research on things. Daryl is more outdoorsy kind of person.
18. AU: real life. Which one of them will have a private acc on social medias and who won’t care? ||I think both would be private...or heck Daryl not private but barely any content. lol Just hunting, nature stuff and games.
19. AU: real life. Which one of them will send memes? ||Carol because she like goofy or sassy jokes.
20. AU: real life. What profession is suitable for Carol? Why? ||hmm housewife, teacher, nurse, or something to look after the community.. She likes to cook but Idk if she likes to do it often. Some job to care about the people and place.
21. AU: real life. What profession is suitable for Daryl? Why? ||A hunter, mechanic, or construction worker. Something like hands-on job.
22. Which of them has a black sense of humor? ||I think Carol have a dark/black sense of humor. Daryl is ..more less humor-y. more sarcastic. idk what im saying.
23. Had Daryl ever thought about having children? If he did, he would prefer boy or daughter? ||I think he never really thought of it till he’s away from Merle/past life. But Idk I think he doesn’t really think on it. He just wants to protect all kids. He’s Uncle Daryl. I don’t think he has a preference.
24. Is Daryl asexual or demisexual? Or other? Why? ||Read ? #10. I say so far it seems like he’s demisexual from what Kang said and from what people/fandom been always questioning him from the show and from that 6 years in woods plot. (Also the show isn’t that showy on romance and relationships so I didn’t think they would bother to address his romance/sexuality but they did so ok.) I guess I always think of him as demisexual...or someone who would be friends to lovers kind of person. He’s the closest with Carol so..slowburn to canon, yeah? /// This makes me think of Carol’s relationships and how she is fine having sex anytime ..no emotions involved way...She doesn’t really have or know a good emotional canon relationship except almost with Zeke, I guess.
25. Carol’s fav movie genre(s)? ||Romcoms <3
26. Daryl’s fav movie genre(s)? ||action / horror :O
27. When the show ends, what kind of ending do you want for them? ||I want good writing and that flows right. Caryl be Caryl. I guess them riding off to the sunset to New Mexico. Or..looking after team family in ASZ or TF working together to find/help Rick and living their best lives in a community. A happy ending pls.
28. Which one of them is good at math? ||hmm Carol. Daryl would be good at reading..science.
29. If there was Caryl movie, what song(s) would you add to it? || hmm a song to add, I would pick ..”You and Me” by Pink I think. Or, “X and Y” by Coldplay. Or, “Cosmic Love” by Florence Machine.
30. Did Daryl help you? ||I really appreciate the writers and the acting did with Daryl and Carol. They’re really unique, interesting and relatable characters. Daryl helped me to keep being myself and do what’s right even when you feel odd ball out. Idk I also like that we see characters like Daryl and Carol what we stereotypical think they may be like in s1 but then we see they’re relatable and we can be more open minded to other people. I liked that we see him getting a chance to grow and see how loyal he is.
31. Did Carol help you? ||Yeah. I really like how she’s like I guess most people in s1, quiet, timid, not quite fit into the Apoc. world, but learns to trust herself, get braver and open up. She’s like so strong and brave now but it’s not surprising to see that in a way because we see her character development and I like how writers and acting, made it so relatable and realistic to me. We all can be like Carol. //I think she’s a great character to watch for mothers who lost kids or was a abused wife/person. Same with Daryl as a abused child/brother in that Merle’s lifestyle.
32. What did Caryl give you? Hope? Strength? ||I really like what became Caryl in the show for years. They became one of my fave ships. They’re unique and I love that we see their strong bond and connection. They’re soulmatey and angsty. Idk I feel like they gave hope that there are people that will get you and have your back. And strength, they grown so much and made me think about myself to keep facing my fears and be in a healthy relationship.
33. Carol’s fav music genre(s)? ||Country pop. Idk.. I think McReedus are into Rock music so.
34. Daryl’s fav music genre(s)? ||Country rock. ...Idk Metal music.
35. Describe Carol in one word. ||Brave
36. Describe Daryl in one word. ||Loyal or uh a word that means does what he think is the right thing to do...and caring. Uncle.
37. What do you expect from them in season 11? ||Idk I’m really clueless. TWD right now is really not by the comics anymore and it’s hard to speculate now. I’m kinda hoping they have something a plot that relates to taking care of the Grimes kids and a plot/s that relates to Rick’s journey/TWD show. Idk well I guess they be figuring it out what to do with Maggie and politics with the ..spoiler- new communities.
I hope for good writing and if they go canon, I hope they write good relationship/romance writing. As in they don’t separate them and break up a bunch of times or be boring. eek. I hope it’s like they still be like the subtle canon ship..like RIchonne as there is something else they have to do together. Like they be canon but they talk about the new plots/problems/family in s11 and their relationship grows.
38. Your favorite Caryl season(s)? Why? ||It’s season 2 or s10. I feel it’s the most Caryl interaction and them deepening their relationship.
39. When do you think Daryl was ready to start a relationship? Or do you still think he isn't ready? Or he is ready rn? ||Whenever the writers are ready. :\ I think as a character he’s ready...yeah especially s10. He’s not hiding and being emo in the woods in s9. He’s not the (Rick’s)sidekick character anymore. He’s I think grown a lot by being with people and opening up being a leader-like now, domestic?,leading character, and I think he’s now more ready to have romantic relationship if he wants to. And for Carol ..rn is like does she feel worthy or ok to have love again. ooh angst.
40. Which of them is owl, and which of them is lark? Why? || I think Daryl is a lark/early bird because he likes the quietness and time to hunt, and Carol is a night owl because she likes to know what else is going on when it’s the dark.
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Give & Take | Chapter 8
pairing: kacchako
genre: slowburn/fluff
words: 3.5k
summary: Ochako's grades are slipping. Bakugo is dangerously nearing suspension, or worse, expulsion. A certain twist of fate pairs them together for tutoring sessions. He teaches her math. She keeps him from getting suspended. A simple exchange, but what if this only brings them closer than necessary?
header credits: @alexbenedetto
[READ ON AO3]
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight: Blackmail is Fun
“This you?”
Kirishima’s phone screen might just be well over the size of his palm, but the glowing image was as clear as day. Bakugo was leaning over their table, a very annoyed expression hanging on his face, wiping something off of the dumbfounded expression on hers with his thumb. The fact that it was only the two of them hanging around at the cafeteria eating together already boosted the suggestiveness of the photo through the roof, Bakugo invading her personal space was another thing that will send it skyrocketing through the stratosphere.
Ochako had already buried that memory away in her mind, but that photo took it upon itself to make like a shovel and dig it back up again in all its glory. She feels the heat creep up to the corner of her lip and it takes a conscious effort not to bring her hand up to her face to touch the same place Bakugo’s thumb had grazed just hours ago.
“You got three seconds to delete that, shitty hair.” Bakugo bites, taking a step closer towards Kirishima. Ochako was taken by surprise with this kind of reaction from him since it wasn’t exactly like him to care about something like that, he had said so himself back at the cafeteria when she explained why she didn’t want their pictures spreading. He didn’t seem the least bit concerned about it until the very last minute when he decided to back her up against those two first years.
The look on Bakugo’s face must have been a serious one for fear to flash over Kirishima’s eyes. He attempts to back away from the hot-headed blonde menacingly pacing towards him, but since he was sitting on the couch, all he could do was bury himself further within the soft cushion, “Woah, woah, now wait just a second, Bakubro.”
“I knew it!” Mina interrupts before Bakugo could take another step towards him, “You two are dating!” She holds up her own phone displaying the same image, practically jumping off her seat with excitement as she bounds towards Ochako.
“It’s not what it looks like,” She tries to explain, taking a few steps back from the practically buzzing Mina. Ochako had already learned her lesson with not speaking up and shutting down rumors before it gets the chance to metastasize and spread like the plague, she’s not about to shy away and make the same mistake twice, “We were just studying.”
Mina tilts her head, shooting Ochako a confused look. There might as well be a floating question mark above her head so it would seem like Ochako needed to do better than that to explain herself, “We had some unfinished items after our tutoring session, and I got hungry so we headed to Lunch Rush to continue studying there.” She continues.
“Then some dipshits decided to not mind their own fucking business.” Bakugo hisses, adding onto the narrative with his own colorful choice of words.
“Two first years,” Ochako immediately corrects him, “tried to sneak a photo of us and I told them to stop, but they wouldn’t listen so--.”
“I told them to piss off.” Bakugo finishes for her. She glanced at him and noticed that he had already backed away from Kirishima. A scowl looms over his face, eyes narrowed with both hands shoved inside his pockets as he assumed a domineering stance over his friends.
“I thought that they’d delete it after that,” Ochako continues, her gaze landing on Kirishima’s phone, “but I guess I stand corrected.”
Mina pauses for a moment, her hand resting on her mouth as a look of concentration paints over her features. She seemed to be deep in thought before sitting back down, tapping away at her phone, “We’ll take care of it.” She says, “Kaminari, get your butt over here, you too Kirishima.”
“I’m already sitting next to you,” Kaminari points out as he scoots nearer towards her, “What the hell are you up to, raccoon eyes?” Bakugo snarls as he walks over to the couch, Ochako follows suit and tries to take a peek at Mina’s phone.
Mina relays a string of instructions to both Kirishima and Kaminari before the three direct their focus onto their phones, “Gushing over both of you in class is one thing,” Mina begins, golden eyes lighting up as a satisfied smile forms on her lips. It looked like she had found something she was looking for. “But taking and spreading photos without consent is another.” She finishes, setting her phone down beside her.
“What did you do?” This question came from both Ochako and Bakugo.
Mina crosses both arms over her chest, a familiar grin lifts the corner of her mouth, “Let’s just say that you won’t have to worry about that photo spreading any further.”
Ochako’s eyes dart to Kirishima for more information, “She just asked me to trace who sent the photo around, I don’t know what she did.” He explains.
“Same here.” Kaminari adds. He turns to Mina, one eyebrow raised, “What’s going on?”
“Oh nothing,” She reassures with a dismissive wave of her hand, “I just talked to one of them and said that if they don’t get the photo off every single phone it spread to, I’d have to send out some information of my own.”
“Information?” Kirishima asked.
“Blackmail?” Kaminari also asks excitedly.
“I know this kid,” She began, “He’s a new first-year recruit from the agency I intern for and you’d be surprised with all the embarrassing stuff I had to witness him do on the job.” Mina shudders at the memory before continuing, “He’s already agreed to talk to everyone he’s sent the photo to and for a little extra spice he’ll also be sending both of you written apologies tomorrow.”
She smiles before turning to Ochako, “I gotchu, girl.”
Ochako beams at her, eyes brimming with gratitude, “Thanks, Mina.”
“And before you pounce at me,” Kirishima turns to Bakugo, shooting him a playful grin, “I already deleted it. It’s not like we don’t have front seat access to exclusive Kacchako content anyways.” He shrugs.
“What the fuck is a Kacchako?” Bakugo barks. Ochako already had the same question in her mind, but he beat her to it.
“It’s a pairing name, duh.” Mina answers.
“Katsuki and Ochako!” Kaminari adds enthusiastically, holding up two fingers and bringing them together, “Kacchako!”
“Wait, I thought we agreed on Bakuraka.” Sero approaches the couch from the kitchens carrying a bowl of freshly cooked popcorn.
He hands the bowl to Mina as she rolled her eyes jokingly, “Bakuraka was so 30 minutes ago, get with the times, Sero.” A chorus of laughter erupts from the four as Sero squeezed himself in between Mina and Kirishima.
“This is stupid.” Bakugo deadpans, “All of you are stupid.”
“But you guys do understand that we’re not dating, right?” Ochako asks.
Kirishima plucks a singular popcorn and tosses it towards Kaminari before answering her, “Oh, we know.” Kaminari catches it with his mouth and grins at both of them, “Doesn’t mean we can’t ship you guys still.”
“I don’t have time for you morons,” Bakugo grumbles, starting to move past the couches, “I’m outta here.”
Kirishima springs up and catches Bakugo just in time, “Aw c'mon, Bakugo, you just got back!” He hooks an arm around him and leads him back to the couch, “We missed youuuu, didn’t you miss us too?” He pouts.
“Shut the fuck up.” Bakugo returns the affection, eyebrows furrowed as he folded his arms over his chest. Despite this, he didn’t show any intention of getting away from Kirishima as he sat him down on the couch, squeezing them both in between the rest of their friends.
“That wasn’t a no.” Kaminari teases in a sing-song voice.
Mina laughs before turning to Ochako once again, “But seriously, you guys don’t feel the slightest hint of attraction towards each other?”
“No!” Both her and Bakugo answer a tad bit too quickly.
“Ochako!” She hears a voice call out from the kitchens, she looks over to see Asui raising her hand to get her attention, “Over here!”
She excuses herself before things could escalate once again, making her way towards the kitchens where Asui, Iida, Todoroki, Momo, and Jirou seem to be busy refilling bowls with different assortments of chips and finger food. The first thing she noticed was that Deku was nowhere to be seen.
“Where’s Deku?” She asks Asui. Iida approaches the countertop, “Midoriya has training with All Might.” He says, setting down two bowls filled with more popcorn and chips. This doesn’t affect Ochako as much as it used to since Deku’s absence was no different from his presence if he were actually here.
“What happened with Bakugo?” Asui asks, “There was a photo of you two going around.”
Ochako repeats the same story she had mentioned just a few minutes ago, but this time she adds that it had been resolved now thanks to Mina’s help.
Momo approaches them, carrying a tray harboring cups of freshly brewed tea. A troubled expression painted her face, “I should have known better than to partake in such gossip, I’m no better than those students who violated your privacy.” Momo looks over to her apologetically as she sets the tray on the counter, “I’m sorry, Uraraka.”
Jirou walks over to place a comforting hand on Momo’s shoulder, she turns to Ochako, “Same here.”
“It’s fine, guys.” Ochako takes a cup from Momo’s tray and offers her a smile as warm as the tea in her hands. Hearing her classmate’s sentiments over the ordeal made her feel at peace after all the misunderstandings and rumors spreading like wildfire a few days ago.
Todoroki also takes a cup of tea from the tray, blue and grey eyes downcast, “Yaoyorozu shouldn’t have heard it from me in the first place, I am as much to blame.”
“It’s okay, Todoroki, I know none of you meant any harm.”
Todoroki nods at this before taking a sip of his tea, “This is very good, Yaoyorozu. Golden Imperial Tips?”
“Correct! You know your tea very well, Todoroki.” Momo beams.
He takes another long sip before turning to Momo, “That is because you favor this brand most often.” He sets his empty cup down and heads over to the tea maker, “I shall help you make some more.”
“How did you and Bakugo end up being study partners?” Asui asks. This catches her off guard, not having enough time to think of a reasonable excuse, she says the first thing she could think of, “Well, I--um, asked him to.”
Ochako swiftly glances at Iida, seeing as to how only he, including Todoroki and Deku, knew about how her tutoring sessions with Bakugo was a prearranged thing by Mr. Aizawa rather than something they chose to voluntarily take part in. Iida nods and offers her a reassuring look, letting her know that he has not forgotten about what she had asked of him before.
“And he agreed?” Asui adds. This was something Ochako wasn’t surprised to hear since Bakugo wasn’t exactly the type who would instantly agree to a favor someone asks of him, especially when that someone is the Ochako Uraraka who barely knows him.
“Uh, yeah.” A nervous chuckle escapes her which doesn’t help much with her credibility.
“Must’ve been wild being tutored by Bakugo, huh?” Jirou commented, “I’ve heard enough stories from Kiri to know that he does not go easy on you.”
“Oh, I can agree with that one.” She laughs softly recalling the times Bakugo and her would spend bickering over the littlest, most nonsensical details and arguing over the smallest of mistakes. Not to mention the fact that he had stayed with her today just to make sure that she didn’t give up on herself.
“Are you having a hard time?” Asui asks, a fair amount of concern coating her question.
“At times, yes, we do end up arguing a lot.” She can’t gloss over the fact that studying under Bakugo wasn’t the smoothest experience in the world, neither was it something that tested her patience every now and then, but she knew that this wasn’t all there was to the sessions she had shared with him. Nothing really ever is as it seems when it comes to Bakugo.
“But he helps me a lot, you know?” She looks down at her cup of tea, its warmth spreading through her palms. It reminded her of his quirk, Is this what he feels whenever he uses it? And as powerful and flashy his power may be, this was not what led him to excel above others. His quirk was strong, but it was him that made it stronger. His attitude, mentality, and drive to be better and to do better was the real reason for his success, and this is what Ochako had been learning from him too.
“He’s a great teacher.” She smiles to herself, summing up all her thoughts into this short sentence.
“Bakugo! Don’t get Sero’s tape on the couch!” Iida calls out, “It’ll damage the material!”. Ochako looks over to the couches to see that Mina, Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero were tied to the couch, their bodies and mouths bound by Sero’s very own tapes. Muffled protests could be heard from the struggling students as Bakugo made his way towards the staircase, a satisfactory grin plastered on his face, “ That should shut you up, good fucking night, idiots.”
Jirou had already doubled over in laughter as Iida rushed over to his restrained classmates. Ochako turns to Asui, “I’ll be back in a sec.”
She catches up to him within the hallway leading to the boy’s section of the floor, “Wait!”
He whips his head towards her, a chilling scowl clouding his features, “What now?”
She stops, a good few feet in front of him, “I, uh, just wanted to say that if the teasing is getting to you, you can request for a different partner to tutor.”
“What makes you think it’s getting to me?” He asks pointedly, eyes squinting in suspicion. She should have known better than to tell Bakugo what he can and can’t handle.
“Well, one, 4 of our classmates are currently tied up down there,” she explains, holding one finger up in the air, “and two, it looked like you stormed off because of something they might have said.”
“I only went up here because it’s almost 8:30 and I’m not going to stay up late for some stupid movie like you maniacs.” He points out, “And if I did ask for another person, what makes you think that they won’t tease me about them, dumbass?”
Ochako’s thoughts wander to an image of Bakugo and another student getting teased the same way they were being teased a while ago and it leaves an unsettling feeling in her gut. It had made her uncomfortable because she wouldn’t want another person to be subjected to that kind of situation. Or at least that’s what she tells herself.
“Also, if there’s anyone who’s bothered by it so much, it’s you not me.” He concludes, folding his arms over his chest.
Ochako props both hands on her hips in retaliation, “Well, how else am I supposed to feel when everyone thinks I have a thing for you when I don’t?” She quips.
Bakugo rolls his eyes and groans in frustration, “God dammit, this is the last fucking time I’m gonna tell you this,” his eyes lock on hers, “Do you like me?”
Her face instantly flushed at the sudden question as she quickly replied, “No.”
His stare doesn’t leave hers, “Now ask me if I like you.”
Ochako’s eyebrows knit together with the odd request, but she complies, “Do you like me?”
He didn't answer her as fast as she did with his question, the few seconds in between had made her more aware of his stare and the heart hammering in her chest. “No.” He answers flatly.
“You don’t like me and I don’t like you,” He explains, “so I don’t see what the fucking problem is.”
“That’s not--”
“That’s not what they think?” He interrupts, “Who the hell cares what they think? What do you think?” He presses.
Ochako breathes in, biting her lip under deep thought, before finally arriving at an answer, “...That there’s nothing going on between us.” She breathes out.
“And?”
“And it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks if I myself know what the truth is.” She mutters, eyes downcast. He was right.
“Good, now quit whining about it.” Bakugo finalizes.
They both stand there for a few more seconds before Ochako remembers another thing she had been meaning to tell him, “Thank you.”
A questioning eyebrow lifts from Bakugo’s face, “For what?”
“Well for starters, staying with me today until I get one question right.” She elaborates.
“And the rest?” He asks.
Another look of confusion finds its way back to Ochako’s face, “What do you mean?”
“You said for starters, so where’s the rest?” He grumbles.
She rolls her eyes and sighs, “I’m getting there, Mr. Impatient.” Ochako snaps, “Thank you for helping me deal with those first years back at the cafeteria.”
“Dipshits.” He corrects her.
“First years.” She corrects him.
“And thank you for tutoring me.” She finishes. This one was a long time coming since she didn’t get the chance to thank him after their previous sessions. You can’t exactly show your gratitude to someone who bolts it out the door the second your time together comes to an end.
“I didn't really have a choice, round face.” He retorts, leaning against the wall.
Ochako didn’t have the time to stop herself from losing her cool, “Will you just accept the damn thanks, Bakugo?”
His eyes slightly widen at the loss of her composure, but she quickly shakes her head and continues, “I’ve been improving a lot and I can feel myself getting better thanks to you.” Her eyes rose to meet his to fully demonstrate the sincerity behind her words.
Bakugo’s eyes dart away as his hand makes its way to the back of his neck, “You’re welcome.” He mumbles under his breath. Still looking away, he follows up, “What the hell was up with you today, anyways?”
“Oh, that.” She mutters, “I’ve just been putting too much pressure on myself for that Ectoplasm exam, I really have to ace it if I want to get that rematch you promised.”
His eyebrows furrow, “I don’t remember making any promises like that.”
Ochako’s face contorts into a look of confusion and shock, “You promised!” She internally winces at her words because she sounded like a toddler being denied a trip to Disneyland.
“I said I’d consider it.” Bakugo fires back.
“Oh, come on!” She persists, not even caring anymore if she sounded like a child begging for a happy meal. Ochako did not work her ass off only for her to be denied the rematch she had been aiming for.
Bakugo frowns, “You really don’t know when to quit, don’t you?”
She knew the perfect reply, “I was told that giving up doesn’t suit me.” Ochako counters proudly.
Instead of a deeper scowl, Bakugo had an amused look on his face, “They were right.” He says, almost as proudly as she had retorted him.
“I’m beginning to think that they always are.” She admits with a playful smile.
Bakugo scoffs, “Damn right, I am.” Ochako laughs at the expression he made, earning her another dirty look from him.
Her laughter trails off as she noticed that he was staring at her again. She stares back and they stand there in the quiet hallway, neither of their gazes wavering. Both unsure of what to say next, but at the same time refusing the need to leave. Ochako didn’t know how many seconds had gone by before Bakugo decided to break the silence, “So are you just gonna stand there and stare at me all night?”
“I don’t know, are you?” She asks.
“Tch, whatever.” He punctuates his sentence with a swift turn as he proceeds to make his way towards his room.
A small laugh escapes her behind Bakugo’s retreating figure, he had been noticeably fond of that phrase ever since their paths first crossed all those weeks ago. She went back downstairs to see that most of her classmates had settled themselves on the couches, focused on the movie playing on the television. Thankfully, Iida had gotten those four out of their restraints.
She takes a seat between Asui and Mina on one of the couches, resting her head on Asui’s shoulder. They were watching a romantic comedy so it seems.
“He’s got quite a soft spot for you, Uraraka.” She hears Mina whisper beside her as she yawns, also resting her head on Ochako’s shoulder.
Ochako’s yawns as well, “Hm?”
“He told us to tone it down with the teasing because, and I quote, Just because you’re okay with it, doesn’t mean she is.” She mumbles, the sleepiness in her voice becoming more noticeable with every word.
Ochako grunts in response, slowly slipping into the comfort of much awaited sleep. “He’d never admit it though,” Mina snuggles closer as she giggled softly, “He tied us to a damn couch after we teased him about it.”
“I don’t know what he’s been teaching you, but he sure did learn a thing or two from you, that’s for sure.” She hums to herself.
Ochako was already fast asleep.
#kacchako#kacchako fic#kacchako fanfiction#kacchako fluff#kacchako slowburn#kacchako week#kacchako week 2020#ao3 kacchako#ao3#bakuraka#bakuraka week#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugo#bakugo x uraraka#urakara ochako#mha ochako#bnha#bnha fanfiction#mha
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This Is Us Q&A
Thanks @madsdefencesquad for tagging me. :)
1. The first character I first fell in love with:
Dr. Nathan Katowski. He just seemed to be such a charismatic, generous, wise and kind person and the way he comforted those two nervous young people (Jack and Rebecca) who were entering parenthood for the very first time was simply beautiful. Specially because nowadays some doctors are so arrogant and cold that make you feel so bad to the point of almost apologizing for needing their care (not most though, we have real life heroes out there on the front line of the COVID-19 pandemic and I’m forever thankful for them!). Anyway, it was pleasant to see a character with so much heart. Now the first regular character I fell in love with was Randall. He was just so relatable and Sterling and the writers really managed to show all the affliction he kept inside from early on. All the things he had accumulated through the years, with the questions about his biological parents, his identity, finding out that William was dying the same day he met him and everything... Even before we got to dive into that story, you could see it in his eyes. And I empathized with him immediately.
2. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now:
Kevin. I used to find him very annoying and self-centered and now I’m eating my words, but I guess that’s always been the writers intention: to show a character that came off as really shallow and immature and slowly change our minds about him. It definitely worked. My opinion about him started to change on the ‘Number One’ episode. It broke my heart to see what he was going through, specially when he lost the only thing he had left from Jack. That was hard to watch. And now that I’m rewatching the show, I can get his actions a lot better now and see that a lot of the stuff I used to hate came from his insecurities. So I’ve changed my mind about his behavior on the first episodes and I’m enjoying seeing him back then as well. I can see the bigger picture now.
3. The character everyone else loves that I don’t:
Cassidy. I don’t really believe there’s a consensus about her, it looks like the opinions are pretty balanced, but I’m not a fan of her. I wouldn’t say I hate Cassidy, but I don’t really like her. Like, the other characters can get me to laugh and cry so easily, but she doesn’t make me feel anything? She looks kind of cold to me, which I can understand it probably has something to with being in the military and the things she had to experience and do, but even with the whole drama with her son and husband... It's just never given me the same emotion I use to get from the other characters. Also, I really wanted the first half of the season to be only about Kevin and his uncle, but they threw a stranger in it and played with the idea of putting Kevin and Cassidy together the whole time. I just wanted to see their dynamic without anybody’s interference, specially because I haven’t got the point of her presence yet. I believe Kevin and Nicky would’ve done just fine in their journey to sobriety without her and I don’t really think the woman will marry any of them. I hope there’s something bigger planned for her that will explain her addition to the show, because I don’t really get it. So far it just looks like she’s there to mislead us with the whole “who is Kevin’s wife?” mystery.
4. The character I love that everyone else hates:
Madison. I wouldn’t say everybody hates her, for me the public has mixed opinions about her? I’ve seen people who hate her, who are indifferent, who like her and think she’s funny and people who love her. However, I do believe she deserves more praise. I think she’s kind of in the same situation Kevin used to be a few years ago. A lot of people have a pre-fabricated idea of Madison and see her as someone shallow and immature. Madison has always been there for Kate, even when she was nothing but rude to her. When Kate hit her car (I know it was accidentally, but still), Madison got over it the second she learned Kate was pregnant. She immediately forgot about her car and was filled with nothing but joy after hearing the news. Madison also helped Kate to enjoy the process of finding her wedding dress, staying positive with her second pregnancy after the previous miscarriage... She’s been there through thick and thin. And she is so loving, selfless and strong that was willing to raise her twins and go through all of that by herself to avoid getting in the way of Kevin finding his great love story. How can somebody not admire that? Even if you don’t like her, because that’s understandable and sometimes a character just doesn’t resonate with us, there’s absolutely no reason to hate or criticize her personality and actions. Madison is very underrated, but she is an amazing person. I just don’t understand why people have changed their minds about Kevin after seeing his struggles and evolution, but won’t do the same with her. The only difference here is the amount of screentime they have and the gender, because they’re both great people. I really don’t get it.
5. The character I used to love but don’t any longer:
One of the great things about this show is that I’ve never stopped loving any of the characters. There are characters I don’t really like, there are characters that have grown on me, but the opposite has never happen. However, I am a little angry with Randall and Kevin after that fight. I won’t defend any of them. They were both terrible to each other.
I get where they’re both coming from when it comes to how they deal with Rebecca’s health. It’s understandable wanting to save your mother. It’s understandable wanting her to enjoy the time she has left. There is no right or wrong decision in these situations. And a lot of how they deal with it comes from their personalities and traumas. They both have this hole in their lives because of losing Jack. Randall blames himself and thinks about what life would’ve been if he hadn’t died every single day. His anxiety also plays a role in how he process everything. It’s consuming. On the other hand, Kevin regrets not having spent as much time with his father as he could’ve had. He’s also already gone through therapy, is a year sober and attending the AA meetings regularly... He can see things more clearly than Randall right now. So I don’t judge either of them for how they approach to the situation. Still, Randall should’ve respected Rebecca’s decision. Period. He was selfish and I can’t defend what he did. I can understand why he did it and I didn’t really see it as him manipulating his mother, for me it was more of a desperate moment, when he was telling Rebecca he cannot handle losing her. Not that Kevin and Kate can handle losing their mother, but he’s clearly overwhelmed with the whole situation, while Kevin and Kate are at a better mental state and looking at things with more serenity.
However, regarding their fight, Kevin’s got some fault too. I’m sure they didn’t mean anything they said to one another, they just happened to know each other’s deepest wounds and wanted to rub them. It was painful to watch. Kevin knows Randall feels guilty for letting Jack walk back into the house. Randall knows Kevin feels guilty for not being there. Kevin knows Randall have never felt liked he completely fitted in, because he was abandoned by his biological father and adopted only after Rebecca and Jack lost a child. He’s always felt a little lost or as a replacement to Kyle. And Randall knows Kevin is self-conscious and feels like people don’t take him seriously or believe he can be responsible. It was heartbreaking and cruel. And I’m rewatching season 1 and recently saw the episode where they finally begin to grow closer and there is this scene where Randall says:
“[Mom] showered me with attention. Took my side more often than not. And I ate every bit of her love up. Ate it up like Pac-Man. You know why? Because the one person I wanted it from the mo..
[...]
You know, back there with those people, it's the first time in 36 years you've said the words, ‘he's my brother’, [as] claiming me.”
I’ve also just finished the episode where it shows young Randall having a nervous breakdown and Kevin ignoring him. Kevin and Randall did have some good moments growing up, but for most of it they weren’t close and Randall was the one who tried the harder to change that. It took them over 30 years to get to a place where they finally acted like brothers on a regular basis and now they have both ruined all of that progress. So I can’t really pick sides and blame one of them when it comes to that fight. They were both terrible. However, I’m just a little more disappointed with Randall because he interfered in Rebecca’s decision.
6. The character I would totally smooch:
Kevin. Justin Hartley just happens to be on my Male Celebrity Crush Top 2, so...
7. The character I’d want to be like:
Beth. She’s smart, successful, funny, wise and beautiful, I’d like to have at least 30% of that awesomeness.
8. The character I’d slap:
Marc.
9. A pairing that I love:
Jack and Rebecca. Their love story, even with its ups and downs, remains epic. One for the ages, indeed.
Still, I really miss a slowburn ship. We’ve had Jack and Rebecca, Kate and Toby, Randall and Beth since the very beginning. They were all love at first sight. They got together pretty quickly. I miss a ship that I can see go through all of those basic stages, like meeting, becoming friends and falling in love. I miss seeing a character pining for another and being a little bit jealous of them. I miss watching the scenes with the lingering looks, deep breaths, both staring at each other when the other isn’t noticing... All this tension building up until the moment it just explodes. Like, give me angst scenes! Give me a scene where they are hugging so tight and not wanting to let go and Character A can’t resist it anymore and kisses character B as if their his/her depended on it. Give me rain kisses. Give me character A pining for character B, but doubting that B feels the same way. Give me B being just as insanely in love as A and feeling frustrated whenever they’re around someone else. Give me character B being unconsciously jealous and fighting with character A. Give me A blurting out that he/she is in love with B and a passionate kiss. I know it’s cliché, but there is a reason why everyone loves scenes like these: they work. And This Is Us needs stuff like that. Hopefully Kevin and Madison can fill this gap, since I’m already in love with their potential. ;)
10. A pairing that I despise:
Kevin and Sophie. I genuinely have nothing against Sophie, she is a good person and she deserves happiness. If anything, Kevin was the one who wronged her. However, I can’t help sighing and rolling my eyes whenever she shows up or her name is mentioned on the show. I’m just tired at this point. I’ve never saw the appeal of it. I’m usually a slowburn kind of shipper, but I still have my ‘love at first sight’ otps. This one, however, never really convinced me. First, I don’t see the chemistry at all (in any timeline). Second, he’s cheated on her twice. Plus, the second time they were together, Kevin had fallen back into drinking and she didn’t even realize the seriousness of the situation. I’m not saying it was her fault or responsibility, because that’s a real problem and what Kevin needed was professional help. Also, he lied to her and broke Sophie’s heart again in the process, so I can empathize with her. Still, the fact that Sophie couldn’t see what was going on and they were never able to go through it together, whether it was his treatment, or the long distance or any real obstacle just proves to me they don’t work. They simply couldn’t work together. And Kevin has moved on. He moved on from her and genuinely fell in love with Zoe. They broke up because they wanted different things, but their relationship was real. So, the way I see it, the fact that he suddenly wants another ‘crack at it’ with Sophie, it’s just a result of his frustration. Kevin is so desperate to have his own great love story and children, that he is trying to get it from strangers on coffee shops or any ex-girlfriend that will reach out to him. He’s not thinking things through, but hopefully he will let life takes it course and find find them naturally, without forcing anything or insisting on relationships that have proved multiple times that weren’t the right fit for him. I also don’t really like when characters appear with the solely purpose to be someone’s love interest, I like seeing them in their own element and their dynamic with other characters. Like, even though each Pearson has their immediate family, we’ve seen bits of Beth and Rebecca, Toby and Kevin, Beth and Zoe, Kate and Madison (who at this point I’m pretty sure is Kevin’s fiancée)... Sophie wasn’t fully integrated into the family during their second attempt at a relationship, so that’s another reason for me not to like this ship.
I don’t wanna tag anyone specifically because I’m afraid I might forget someone, so anyone who wants to do this thing, just go for it. I’d love to see your answers. :)
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September 18: 1x15 Shore Leave
Shore Leave tonight! Because I need it. I had a lot of thoughts on this because it’s so ridiculous and wonderful.
That planet looks like a giant green screen. Which is appropriate.
I could watch this back rub scene on a loop all day. Fellas, is it gay to want your First Officer to really dig it in there?
Captain going to his quarters to work from home today.
Oh-ho, what is this, the little seen Sulu & McCoy dynamic.
Plant nerd Sulu wants information on all the greenery.
That rabbit is so great. Fun fact I had an LJ icon with that rabbit back in the day.
Honestly this is such a great concept for an episode. Like I don’t have any really deep notes or feelings about it but both as a sci fi idea (a very high-tech ‘amusement planet’ that uses unseen machines that can read your thoughts to manufacture delightful things for you) and an entertaining yarn, it’s so good. I also think the characters are really on point.
It’s so good that Theodore Sturgeon could put that back rub scene in there and no one even noticed.
“Stardate.... something.....uh, point three.” I laughed, I really did. Stardates do not and never have made sense and I like that even Kirk is so tired at this point he’s like “yeah whatever.” Mood, Sir.
Kirk is canonically a workaholic. He’s the kind of guy who checks his email on vacation. Who answers emails at 11pm. With his husband next to him like to rest is to rest jim!!!
“On my planet, to rest is to rest.”
Kirk thinks he’s so cute. He’s looking really handsome today himself, but Kirk always looks at his best when he’s got his heart eyes face on.
“A crewman’s rights end where the ship’s safety begins.” We need that on a poster today in 2020 for Reasons.
Love how unamused Kirk is and how amused Spock is. Ya got played, son!
Oh, look, it’s a random gun. Too bad Chekov’s not here to claim it. (He’d love this planet btw.)
YFIP: Captain Kirk. Cancels shore leave mere minutes before it’s supposed to start.
Gunshots!! Sulu found the gun! And he’s so excited! And then Kirk takes it away like the Mean Dad he is.
One thing I wonder about this planet is at what point do the objects, people, etc. cease to exist. Do they just eventually wander back to the trapdoors and.... get recycled? Do they have this built in? Is that not... weird? Rosencrantz and Guildenstern: Shore Leave. And do the inanimate objects have to be returned?
I love this Kirk Academy back story and we were robbed--ROBBED--of it in AOS, fight me on this. “I was downright grim.” Bullied by an upperclassman?? Who liked playing dumbass pranks?? Sounds like enemies to lovers, slowburn, 20k, to me.
Love how absolutely deranged Finnegan is though.
Yeoman Barrows’ rape fantasy.
Kirk stops to a pick a flower! To romantic music!! He is so soft and I love him byeeeeeeeee.
And then the flower reminds him of his Academy girlfriend Ruth. Who is uh obviously played by a woman in her 30s and yet hasn’t aged a day in 15 years so 19 year old Kirk with an older lady y/y?
Love his confused face while she’s kissing him though.
He’s so dazed as he calls McCoy and then just kinda... gives up lol.
Bones, too busy flirting to remember the white rabbit he’s supposed to be chasing. Don’t say “a whole army of Don Juans”!!!
His eyeshadow is also on point today. He’s so shameless, trying to not-quite-watch her as she changes into the Princess Costume. No one ever remembers how flirty McCoy is but he IS.
Oh look, a big kitty!!! Very beautiful and nice.
Sulu lol, just casually thinking of samurai. Bet he wishes he still had that gun now.
Spock having a hard time beaming down reminds me of that meme “Now I will always be a child of two worlds.”
Spock’s thought process is hilarious. “Our transporters were about to stop working so I thought, hey, how about I strand myself too--just to be with you, Jim.”
McCoy and Barrows holding hands.
They’re supposed to spread out but Kirk and Spock go together obviously.
Oh no, the knight! I’m sure Kirk told Spock not to shoot bc he knew his phaser didn’t work but it still looks like ‘I got this baby.’
There’s no one to say “He’s dead Jim.” :(
Barrows shouldn’t feel guilty; it was Bones’s fault for conjuring the knight in the first place by saying the word “knight.”
Lol can’t Sulu run the tricorder? Like the obviousness with which they switch out Sulu and Spock so K and S can have their moment is... Something.
“Are you saying that this is a plant, Mr. Spock?”
Lol just poking the dummy in the face.
“Funny air vehicles.” Don’t have planes in the 24th century I guess?
Don’t say strafing run!!
When Kirk thinks of the Academy, he thinks of Finnegan first apparently. And now begins an incredibly long fight sequence. I actually like the TOS fights in general quite a bit because they’re SO choreographed. So for me they are more fun than fights now, which are such a mess I don’t even know what I’m looking at. But even so--this one is VERY long.
And VERY homoerotic.
“Jim baby.” “Sweet Jimmy boy.” Resting on top of that cliff in a ‘draw me like one of your French girls’ pose. Kirk’s shirt just like.... REALLY randomly ripping right the hell off.
“You couldn’t find your head with both hands.” ???
I love this Irish tune. Apparently this was the first ep this composer worked for and I think he did a really good job all around! I rarely notice music but I did in this one and always in a good way.
Spock’s makeup is great as usual. He and Kirk are on the same expository wavelength.
Spock, don’t say the word “tiger”! You can clearly see it is on a leash lol. Lots of gratuitous touching as Kirk and Spock run away. My mom and I agree that Spock liked the tiger, though. He does like cats and big animals like iChaya.
All the crewman line up except for Angela. Really dropping the ball there.
Love how the amusement park manager shows up just after Kirk told everyone not to think about anything. “Okay, who imagined the man in green robes?”
Spock’s posture and expression.... so good. He clearly loves the idea of an amusement park, and, given that he describes it as a place with “many fascinating things” to do/see, I think he would, canonically, love it.
“The more complex the mind, the greater need for the simplicity of play.”
THE MUSIC WHEN MCCOY SHOWS UP WITH THE GIRLS OMG.
He’s such a slut. One whole love interest plus TWO imaginary showgirls? Tone it down Mister.
I can’t believe one of the girls goes to Spock. He’s like “What do I do with this?” Then hands her off to Sulu because Rodriguez is already helping Angela move on from her dead husband. So now Sulu gets two ladies.
Spock doesn’t need any more shore leave, because he got to spend some time with Kirk, solve a mystery, and see a tiger. That’s all the fun he needs!
The last scene was pretty unnecessary (except that I guess without it, it kinda looks like Kirk is just...leaving the Enterprise for his old girlfriend lol) but at least we get the awkward implication that Kirk, McCoy, and Sulu had a lot of sex, and some random fake laughter.
(Sulu absolutely canonically had a threesome.)
Next up is the Galileo Seven, a Classic TM Spock (and Spock & McCoy) episode.
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