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deadsetobsessions · 5 months

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Damian Wayne was like a duckling. A violent, stab-happy, danger-prone duckling, yes, but a duckling all the same. Which means when Danny almost got stabbed by a sleepy, instinct driven Damian, he was able to wave it off with a laugh. Damian, on the other hand, stared in horror at the butter knife firmly lodged in Danny’s arm.

“PENNYWORTH!” Danny jerked back at Damian’s scream. “RICHARD! FATHER!”

God damn, the kid had a pair of lungs on him. Danny’s wince was interpreted as pain to Damian, who gently grabbed his injured arm and started to pull him towards the kitchen’s marble island.

Danny blinked, non plussed as his hearing picked up a thundering of feet as the present family members scrambled towards Damian’s distress call.

“Wait, Damian, I’m fine. It’s-”

“You have been impaled, you imbecile! Had it been any of the other simpletons, they would have-!”

“Ouch.” Danny put his other hand in mock hurt over his slow-beating heart. He literally doesn’t care about the butter knife. He’s just impressed there was enough force in there to impale him. “Are you calling me names now? After- gasp- stabbing me?”

Before Damian could reply, the beginnings of regret, remorse, and guilt on his face, Alfred, Dick, and Bruce burst into the kitchen.

“What happened?!”

“My word, master Danny!”

“What is it?!”

“I’m fine. It’s like a small stab. Not even a big stab. I’m good.”

Dick paled, seeing Danny’s arm clutched in Damian’s hand.

“That’s- that’s a knife. In your arm. How is that ‘fine’?!”

“What happened.” Bruce asked Damian, gently removing Danny’s arm from Damian’s death clutch.

“I- I did not mean to,” Damian starts, guilt coloring his voice.

“He didn’t,” Danny cuts in. “I startled him and got stabbed for being dumb. I won’t fault him for having a defense mechanism like that, ancient knows what I might do if you guys startled me.”

The awkward silence that settled at his words made Danny twitch awkwardly.

“Uh, so, can I add this knife to my collection? Even if I didn’t get mugged?”

“Danny.”

“Bruce.” Danny stared stubbornly back. With his uninsured hand, he patted Damian on the head. He was going to enjoy the fluffiness before Damian’s guilt was no longer enough to hold him back from snapping at Danny’s hand like a grumpy alligator. Bruce loses, obviously. He’s a teenager who was also an ex-vigilante. Batman’s got nothing on a determined halfa.

“Master Danny, I must insist you refrain from getting stabbed. There is only so much gauze and antiseptic cream in the house.” Alfred returned- huh, when did he leave?- with a med kit.

Danny called bullshit because he knows there’s a whole ass medical bay beneath the manor.

“Sorry.”

“No need to apologize.” Alfred said, promptly beginning the extraction of the butter knife.

“Are you okay?” Dick asked, hovering worriedly. “He- are you…?”

Damian was allowing Danny to ruffle his hair, so…

“Yep, I’m good. This isn’t even on my top thirty most painful stabbings,” and it really wasn’t. That honor was given to the GIW and that one time Jazz accidentally stabbed him with her earrings. “That was pretty impressive, actually. It’s like, a butter knife. The other ones had pointy ends.”

“Do not clump me with those pathetic wastes of spaces. I am naturally superior and would… would never harm you on purpose.” Damian said, getting quiet at the end like he was trying to plead to Danny to believe him.

“Of course not. But- if you want help me keep the knife, you can hit me with a mug, it would technically be a mugging.”

The pun got the desired effect. Damian leaned away with a disgruntled look and Dick stopped hovering as close in order to let out a small cackle.

“Done.”

“You should go get changed, kiddo. We’re going to see Tim’s photography at the Gotham Gallery today.”

“Oh, for real?” Danny patted Damian’s fluffy hair one last time, pushing away from the counter. “Oh, I’ll clean up here first and-”

“That will not be necessary,” Alfred scolded, a mop somehow already in his hands. “Please see to it you are prepared for the day.”

“Thanks, Alfred. Can I keep the knife.”

“Very well.”

“Sweet. See you guys later?” Danny pranced off after seeing the nods.

——

“He’s… he got stabbed a lot. Before us, I mean.” Dick tapped a furious rhythm onto the counter. “Not that we’ve stabbed him until now but even once is concerning for a civilian.”

“He was used to it.” Bruce replied.

“Perhaps we should join Todd in his endeavor and ensure that his worthless tormentors are permanently out of the picture.”

“God, he said top thirty. He was counting.”

Damian silently withdrew a kitchen knife.

“No murder with my quality chef’s knives, Master Damian.”

“Tt.”

“Master Jason follows the same rules. Now, out of the kitchen. I may be old, but I remember the last time master Bruce and master Dick stepped foot in here and I will not have a repeat.”

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nerdpoe · 5 months

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Alfred is getting up there in age. It's time for him to go see the Ghost King, and uphold his end of their deal.

He tells Bruce that he needs to return to England for a bit, to meet up with some old friends.

Gets the Manor prepared for life without him.

And as he's standing in his room, luggage packed and ready to go, Bruce knocks on the door.

"You don't have any plane tickets purchased," Bruce starts, looking concerned.

"Indeed, I have not."

"There's no correspondence between you or your friends to indicate a visitation."

"I suppose I should have expected your insatiable curiosity would lead to that breach of privacy," Alfred sighs, resting a hand on his luggage.

"...Where are you really going?"

Alfred doesn't answer. Bruce has dug enough, and perhaps he deserves a little confusion.

What Alfred does do is snap a small, glowing crystal. One that looked like Kryptonite, but was not.

A portal opens before him, and before Bruce can reach him, Alfred calmly steps through.

The portal shuts behind him.

He turns to face the Ghost King.

"Ã̵͙̤̚͜r̶͓̓ȇ̵̢͝ ̸̝͂͠ẙ̶̘̳̿o̷͈̎͋̽u̵͈̔ ̸̖͉̔ṛ̸̅̀͆e̸͉̓̂͒a̴̻̓͝d̵̬̉̏̉ỳ̶̬͂̕?̴̼̈́͗̀"

Alfred nods.

The Ghost King's face breaks out into a wide smile.

"I believe I have put together a menu that will satisfy you, My King."

~~~~~~

Two months later sees Alfred being given another crystal, and a portal opened for him back to the Manor.

Alfred steps through, a bounce in his step and not a speck of grey in his hair, looking for all the world like he's twenty again.

Now, how is he going to explain this to the very sleep-deprived looking Master Tim sitting on his bedroom floor, staring at him with unfocused eyes?

Or: Alfred made a deal with the Ghost King when he was twenty and dying in the remains of his ship, just after the Battle of Trafalgar in 1805. If he can cook food the King has never tasted before, and keep it up for two months, the King will put forward his case to the God of Time and rewind him to the point in his life three days before he was grievously wounded. Basically, he gets to go back to being a 20 year old. He staves it off for as long as he can, often getting quite elderly, before breaking that crystal and serving two months of full courses to the King of the Dead. He hasn't told anyone this.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #story prompt #phanfic #danny and clockwork routinely keep alfred alive and young in exchange for food #danny cuz he loves human food and rarely gets to eat it anymore #clockwork because he has a wee bit of a crush on alfred but is too embarrassed to actually talk to the guy #the observants hate it

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lav-ghost · 12 days

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Danny was Bruce's Nanny

Danny used to be Bruce Wayne's nanny. He was looking for a job and found that Alfred needed somebody to look after Bruce while he did other things (Cleaning, cooking, getting groceries, etc.) He decided to take up the job, even though everyone had quit. But here's the thing, Bruce nor Alfred knows he's half-dead (Alfred would find out later, he's Alfred after all)

Later on, when Bruce grows up and adopts all his kids, non knowing that he had a nanny and was a troublemaker, he makes a comment about having one when he was younger. He was trying to convince his children that it wouldn't hurt to have one.

"Alfred can't always look after you. Dick and Jason are in their 20's and don't need a nanny and besides, Nannies aren't bad or weak, I had one myself after all." Bruce didn't know that this would lead to questions about who they were, what they were like, and where they lived(Tim and the others wanted to do a background check, even though they weren't there when he did have one.)

Alfred cuts in to say that his nanny was a miracle worker and always had Bruce asleep by the time he needed to be. "He always made breakfast and had Bruce up when he needed to go to school. He even helped around the manor."

On the other side of Gotham. Danny was visiting since he hadn't been around in a few years and wanted to see how things were going. Color him surprised when he finds out the little boy he nannied when he was younger is a grown man with children! Well, it had been a while since he had last seen Bruce and Alfred.

#dc x dp #dcxdp #Nanny Danny Phantom #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #Nannys

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voidlesscreator · 27 days

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Alfred has a relative???

Recently, Alfred had received a letter from a 'relative' of his for reasons unknown to the batfam. Alfred seemed happy about it so none of them minded too much, even when the butler said that said relative would be visiting since they hadn't been able to see each other in many years.

A few days later there is a knock on the manor's door and one of the batkids opens it to see this young adult dressed in modern yet formal attire asking if Alfred lives there.

They assume that the man is a cousin or something similar of Alfred's, until the man all but squeals like a banshee at the sight of the butler and beelines for him before doting on him.

None of them were prepared for the young adult- if he even is one at this point- to call Alfred "his boy" and for Alfred to refer to him as "father/papa".

-----

*knock on the door*

Tim: *opens door* hello?

Danny: Hi, does Alfred Pennyworth live/work here?

Tim: Yes??? Why do you ask?

Danny: Well you see-

Alfred: Young master Tim, who might be at the door?

Danny: *Squeals* My little Alfie!!

Tim, watching Danny rush over to Alfred and start pinching his cheeks: what the-

#dc x dp #danny phantom #danny phantom x dc #dc comics #alfred pennyworth #alfred is Danny's son #the batfam are very confused #this young man is gushing over Bruce as his grandkid and the rest of them as his greatgrandkids #tim is confused as to what Lazarus pit this guy has been using to look like that and be alfreds dad #danny just stopped aging once he reached his mid 20s #he moved dimension before alfred

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glow-in-the-dark-death · 4 months

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Cujo

"Cujo where in the world do you keep finding all these things?"

Danny looked down at a very proud looking Cujo who had recently returned from his trip.

On each trip he brought back things that he liked, lately Cujo was bringing back the most curious things.

From pillows and toys to weapons and weird clothing.

One time even bringing a golden lasso.

This time it seemed to be a sword and a jar filled with liquid with what he was pretty sure was a human organ.

"Cujo please don't take peoples organs, I don't want to get in trouble"

A sentence he never thought he would be saying,

What a day.

Alfred: "I seem to be missing my favourite pair of socks?"

Wonder Woman is questioning who was brave/stupid enough to steal her lasso from practically under her nose.

Damian: Father! Who took my weapons away, I haven't even been grounded!"

Lex Luthor: "Where's all the kryptonite I just bought?!"

Ra's: *squinting* "Something just happened."

Sorry this one is shorter than usual I'm in the middle of class.

Bye!

Just an Idea

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dcxdpdabbles · 2 months

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Danny: Hello, I'm here for my job interview-

Alfred: You're hired.

Danny: But I didn't even say what position I was-

Alfred: You are Danny Fenton, nineteen years old, blood type AB, Libra. You are here to apply for the personal assistant position under Timothy Drake. You have five years of experience as a receptionist and a personal planner and have been unofficially bookkeeper for your parent's company since you were twelve. You dabble in fanfiction, go clubbing at Vortex- the gay club downtown, and have been one of the few people who yelled at people online for "Countdown to Legal Age" of both Master Dick and Master Tim.

Danny: .....I'm a little scared right now.

Alfred: That's to be expected. You will fit right in. Master Tim enjoys the smell of fear on his employees.

Danny: You were in the army, weren't you?

Alfred grinning: I read that your mother's family are also veterans. Your mother grew up in bases; did she not?

Danny nods: Yes, they are. This is like visiting family.

Alfred: With the proper attitude, you may become family in due time!

Danny mentally: Is he....trying to get me to marry Mr. Drake???

#dcxdpdabbles #dc x dp crossover #From a fic I never wrote #Danny is going to follow Tim around and help him #Alfred usually scares off people at the door #Danny is used to it though so he here to stay #No Alfred is not trying to mary Tim off #He just intense and Danny is stupid

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jaybirbie · 25 days

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DP x DC idea ( feel free to add on)

Alfred Pennyworth was a dangerous man.

He was also a wise one.

He knew when he was bested when his time would finally come.

Alfred was living on borrowed time, decades past from when he should have pasted.

Instead, he was pulled from deaths grip by a man like being, whose form kept shifting. But Alfred would never forget that face, those eyes, and that scar.

How he woke up from wounds that had disappeared as if they were never there.

One would think it was a dream, made up from a near death experience.

But not Alfred Pennyworth. He awoke, and he knew that a deal of sorts had been struck. For what, Alfred had no recollection, just that the Man-being would be back one day and that he wouldn't be able to do anything about that.

So when one night a familiar shiver crawled up Alfreds spine, he placed down his knife on the cutting board.

Taking a second to mourn, he looked to the unfinished post-patrol snack his family wouldn't eat once they returned, and found the butler was no longer there.

Alfred knew they tear apart the city looking, but he hoped for their safety, this deal ended with him.

He arrived in the entraceway just as a single light knock sounded at the door.

Taking a breath, Alfred smoothed his suit out and straightened his tie before, as he has done hundreds of times, opening the door and welcoming the guest to Wayne Manor.

But there was no Man-being awaiting him.

Instead, a bright pair of green eyes looked up at him through a small head of white hair.

The small tot held out a letter with his name on the front. Unfolding the letter, Alfred read carefully.

Alfred Pennyworth

I am collecting on our deal.

This is Danny. Makes sure he makes it to adulthood.

I know your the best person for the job.

After all, you've raised the Batman.

Good luck

CW.

Or basically, Alfred gets saved by Clockwork, who strikes a deal with him.

Or Clockwork really needed to have someone raise Danny, and this boy is way too chaotic for most to handle. But this Pennyworth just might be his best option.

#dpxdc #dc x dp #danny phantom #dp x dc prompt #batfam #alfred pennyworth #clockwork #baby danny

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mikami1992 · 13 days

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Jason is about to have a panic attack…

He knew that he had to finish researching and confirm those 48 hours of lost memory from last year…

but nooo… I thought I put together everything that happened during that time and left a few hours here and there with only assumptions about what happened…

and now he has the consequences in front of him… on a pair of baby seats in the middle of his living room next to a pair of diaper bags with a note…

"Emergency, take care of them for time, I'll be back

Sincerely, Danny"

and there, in those pair of seats, are 2 babies, a girl and a boy, one with blue eyes and the other reddish brown, the two children had black hair… with a white strand of hair on their heads. …

Jason isn't an idiot, he did the math…and the dates fit…so now he has to face his impending fatherhood…it's time to call Alfred….

While all this is happening Danny flies through the Infinite Realms, he now has to face the idiots who think they can challenge him for the throne.

He just hopes Ellie and Dan are okay…. Well there shouldn't be any problem, he left them with one of the strongest avenging/protecting spirits on the side of the living, plus Red Hood is known for being good with children…

He only regrets not being able to explain more in the note…

#dp x dc #dp x batman #jason todd #red hood #danny phantom #Jazz #Tucker and Sam are involved in the court of the Infinite Realms.#Ellie and Dan had to become babies to stabilize themselves #How #it's your decision #Alfred will meet his great-grandchildren?#Danny is the father of Ellie and Dan #Jason is also a father?#Paternity confusion?

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the-b1ah · 12 days

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Part 8 last one!! of You can’t bench me!

Whoop! Another one bites the dust, you can’t bench me if officially done!

Context:

Phantom kicked all the ass and took all the names. The crew then shuffled back to the cave to get fixed up.

Alfred has patched up Steph and Tim, and has moved on to Jason. Getting helmet shards taken out of your face is not fun 2/10 stars at least it’s not a crowbar.

————————————

Henchmen: time to die Red Hood

Red Hood: k let me ask my son

Henchmen: wha-

Red hood: he said nuh uh

Henchmen: the fuck you mean nuh uh

Phantom with a steel chair: yippee ki yay Mfers

————————————

Masterlist| Origin | part 7 | part 1 | bonus!!

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emacrow · 24 days

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Alfred gains an unique apprentice after his arm got fractured.

Most of the batfam has been causing a ruckus in the Wayne Manor for the past 4 months that even Alfred was feeling a bit worn out.

To the point that his personal favorite market friends suggest getting a trainee, or a ward to help him out epecially because Alfred isn't getting any younger, no matter how well he took care of his own health.

Helda got herself a ward herself, a sweet little girl, name Ellen who help her keep the lil Duckling candles shop in order especially after her hip surgery went through, and will be taking over for her considering helda had no descendents, but Ellen make her feel young again.

Alfred merely delined, but ended up getting the card still by persistented friends. A card with a purple GrandFather clock symbol and a number on it. He left it in his draw as he was not rude enough to throw away.

Then came the prank war 13 on June 15th in the Wayne Manor that Alfred accidentally ended up being targeted by pure coincidence which ended with him with a fractured arm..

Both Bruce and Alfred was majorly disappointed with how far escalated the prank war went that got immediately stop when the batfam saw Alfred gotten injured during it.

Except now Alfred is stuck for 6-10 weeks without using his right arm until his personal doctor said it ok to take the cast off then have a arm sling..

Alfred was immensely stubborn for 3 days, 3 days of trying to do all his duties.. before he gave in..

And called the number on the card, and received a lovely blue letter with a couple of oddly specific paperwork on a type of help he need, what is your age, your job occupied, have any illness or arthritis, needs in case of meta or superpower sudden surprises appear, how dangerous is your and your family lifestyle, etc

By the time he finished the paperwork and hand it sent back in the return blue letter. It was by day 5 on a Friday when he received a letter back, stating that that a ward been selected and will be coming from Amity Park to help him.

Alfred was expected a teenager, but a 7 year old boy with blaring light blue eyes, starlight like freckles, black hair with a medium space designed suitcase and a very old and worn out bearbert plush on top of it.

"Good morning, You must be Mr. Pennyworth, and I'm Danny." Danny beamed a soft smile with the eyes of wisdom and understanding. Alfred pause for a mere second before a soft smile bloomed and open the door wide for him.

"Hello there Danny, do come in. Alfred said softly as he watch danny a bit with curiosity.

Would you like a snack before we start the day?" Alfred ask as he escorted danny to the kitchen to help him with today breakfast along with a list of the breakfast dishes with ingredients.

"That ok, what would you like to help you do, cut the vegetables, stir the pot, help lift the food into the oven, or clean the dishes, because you aren't going to try and do that all with a broken arm, right?" Danny said as he look at today breakfast list, going to the sink and cleaning his hand thoroughly first before touching any fresh ingredients already put out while Alfred pick the frying pans, cups, dishes and utensils for the batfam.

Alfred notice right away that danny was floating a bit to pick the heavy large pot full of marinated food from the fridge that was supposed to be on the stove for slow brothing for later today dinner, considering alfred couldn't well take it out himself since his arm was broken..

Smiling softly to himself that it was a good idea to have a ward of his own as he teaches danny the best techniques to make a Benedict.

New post here

#dp x dc crossover #dpxdc #dc x dp #danny phantom #dp x dc #dc x dp prompt #danny is the ghost king #dcxdp #de aged danny #alfred pennyworth #Alfred get an apprentice #bruce developed the adoption gene by Alfred influence #elle phantom work for Helda in gotham #danny is well prepared for EVERYTHING #Jazz give danny BearBert for comfort since this is technically his first job out of Ghost duty

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hailsatanacab · 7 months

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A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

#dpxdc #batpham #i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e #immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner?#and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot #after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section'#danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along #my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom #and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan #(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's)#so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets #dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.'#tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!'#dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again'#tim: scandalised gasp #they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny #duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints?#tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone #everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him #damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills?#how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!'#damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but #2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers #(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager)#on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!!#uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha #spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha #anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun #i wanna make these slides so bad

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deadsetobsessions · 5 months

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A scene that’s been buzzing in my head but I can’t seem to find the words for:

Danny: we should do some sibling bonding activities guys

Tim, a tired Robin: *points towards the fifth exploding building they’ve evacuated this week alone* two-face and riddler are helping

Dick, in a burnt smelling Nightwing suit: That’s not- okay, that’s not like an activity we do with the intention of bonding though

Jason, holding his helmet out hopefully: We can beat up the joker?

Danny, always ready for clown beat downs: and set his shit on fire?

Tim, who was raised by Danny and hates the guy who killed his favorite Robin: and fuck up his taxes and send the IRS after him?

Dick, who’s a protective, vindictive, and the og shit stirrer of big brother: toss him off a building or two?

Jason, holding back tears: I don’t fucking hate you losers too much, I guess.

Batman, on the comms: No-

Agent “I don’t have a ‘No-Kill’ Rule so fuck around and Find Out” A, running the comms: Oracle, cut Batman off from the planning session

#alfred pennyworth #danny phantom #Danny raised Tim #danny is a bat #Robin dc #they’re on patrol #nightwing #dick grayson #jason todd #red hood #dc x dp #dp x dc #batman #bruce wayne #Alfred ‘selective hearing’ Pennyworth #sibling bonding #is sometimes planning the misery of the asshole that killed one of your brothers #Batman being a wet blanket #jason todd and dick grayson

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ghostbsuter · 9 months

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There was a teen in the cave.

A teen no one knows and looks like he could be a wayne, stands in the cave.

"Actually, I'm a wayne." He says with a shrug.

Bruce, Batman, carefully thinks of the implication.

"Not yet," The teen, Danny, doesn't say anything. Simple smiles. "You're not a wayne, yet. You will be. But not yet."

Then Bruce sighs, dropping the batman mask in order to take in the teen.

"Does future me know of the time travel?"

Dannys smile grows into a grin, deciding to take pity on the man. "You, grandbat, have..." He makes a vague gesture. "Theories, which none of your children ever confirmed."

The bat's mind short-circuits at the choice of words

Dick is sputtering incomprehensibly, there are Baffled expression all around.

Because.

Because that child isn't Bruce's, but one of theirs.

"Who is it?" Jason demands, hand clenching his gun uselessly.

Danny continues to smile, a hint of mischief now peeking out.

The cave is filled with theories, some yell, some sob, yet all eyes leave danny.

All but one pair.

She had known the moment his body language switched just enough for her to read.

She had known the moment he disappeared before the clan.

Had known when his hand found hers, shoulders bumping.

Her heart clenches, throat dry and memories of her childhood flooding to mind.

So she asks, voice soft and hesitant.

"Am I a good mother?"

And danny looks up at cass, adoration and pride laid out plain for her to see and accept.

"You're the best."

And so they both watch the clan together, silent and comfortable.

(Cass doesn't question when she finds him, how and why. All she knows is that she's more attentive when out on patrol, looking and waiting.)

(This is how Cassandra Cain-Wayne returns one night from patrol, a child, barely out of toddler stage and clinging to her form.)

(This is how the Batclan officially meets one Daniel James Cain-Wayne, freshly washed and clothed, a cookie in hand and hiding shyly behind Cass.)

(When they meet, all they say is "Welcome home, danny," and "Good to see you again.", Danny doesn't necessarily get it, but that's okay. Maybe his new mom will explain it one day when he's bigger.)

#dcxdp #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc #fic prompt #writing prompt #dc x dp prompt #cassandra cain is dannys mom #time travel shenanigans lead to conspiracy theories #half of the batclan think jason is the dad #or dick #damian and tim are outruled just bc age and tim denying it with no one protesting #alfred knows #danny moves like cass #he gave them both a cookie in the shadows #danny won him over by calling him great grand bat #he tells him of all the mischief they got up to bc no one would believe the baby had alfie wrapped around his finger like that #theyre just in denial #theyre all wrapped around the finger #danny “i mastered how to wrpaonize my cuteness” cain-wayne

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evilminji · 22 days

Text

Okay, so maybe it's just me? Projecting my new Tea Phase?

Cause for med reasons, no more energy drinks, only Teeeeeeaaaaa~☆

But honestly? Now that I am an adult and ACTUALLY KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT? Really digging it! Am enjoying the Teas. Mmmmmmm~ leaf broth. I like the fruity ones.

So! IMAGINE~☆ If you will:

Danny. 14 and his parents are LOUD AS FUCK (CRASH BANG SMASH BANG WHIIII-) dispite it being, once again, a school night. This has been going one For Years. That STUPID fucking machine. All God damned hours. Crashes and bangs and powertools. Explosions.

When will it ever end!

He's... he's honestly used it.

Unknowingly? This is is a skill that will come in handy later. Living and functioning while sleep deprived. Healthy? Fuck no. But it's USEFUL. He IS the ten year old downing Monster drinks in the parking lot before school.

It makes him a jittery weirdo. Twitchy. Too much caffeine, not enough sleep, his parents either blew up or TOOK APART the washing machine AGAIN. He... he never stood a chance. It's a miracle the indoor plumbing hasn't been compromised yet... AGAIN.

His blood is more sugar, caffeine, and guarana or whatever those other things in the can are, then actual human blood. He doesn't CARE. He just needs too get decent grades, graduate, and become an astronaut. It's... it's FINE. This is normal. They're FINE.

(If they weren't... someone would have noticed, right? Would have DONE something. Cared. So it HAS to be fine. His family's just weird. It's FINE.)

But THEN...

The Accident.

And his biology CHANGES. Green goo, wrapped vicious and loving, around his very DNA. Like Kintsugi of the body and soul. In green, Green, GREEN. It... it's a lot. Everything changing all at once. Maybe that's why it takes him so long to notice.

Why he thinks "oh, I'm just tired cause I'm running more then usual. Fighting and flying. Doing ghost stuff."

When... when honestly? Some part of him always kinda KNEW. From the very moment he stumbled out of the portal. The aftershocks. The pain. Sam and Tucker crying, scrambling to help him up the stairs. Sam tearing her bag apart looking for her cramps medicine. Because... because pain medication is pain medication.

"It's gonna be okay, Danny. Please. Please god, just take it! I promise it's gonna be okay!"

How do you look your panicked, crying, strongest-person-you-know best friend in the eyes and tell her... you can FEEL it dissolving in your throat. Like the pills were dumped in a human shaped pot of acid. That... that the pain isn't changing... and you... you don't think it's going too.

When you're scared. Might be dying. And you can already tell they think it's their fault. W... when you're all just KIDS. And all you can think is... you can let them know how bad... how bad it hurts...

They'd never be able to live with that knowledge.

Yeah. Yeah, Sam. Thanks. T... The pills helped a lot. He feels better. You really saved the day. He lo... loves you guys so much.

...

.....

He thinks about that moment A LOT. About how much he realized and knew, before the denial kicked in. Before he got so... Tired. Fresh of all that energy. And? You'd think he realize. The mood swings. The irritability. The headaches that disappear the SECOND he goes ghost. That he's in caffeine withdrawal. But? Nope.

He kinda blames the constant ghost attacks for distracting him.

But see... Sam? Doesn't drink tea. Goes against her diet. Tucker was where he GOT his illicit borderline illegal energy drinks. And his sister? Big on flavored sparkling waters. Which are gross to him.

His PARENTS drink a thick tar they insist is coffee. It might be liquid fudge. Zone knows its nearly the same consistency. It's horrifying. No thanks, he wants to LIVE.

It's? Ironically? Mr. Lancer and his constant detentions, that help Danny realize somethings up. Because Mr. Lancer shares. If he makes a cup for himself, he'll make one for you. It's how he was raised. And, yeah, the after school detentions? Those were herbal blends. No caffeine.

But...

But they tasted nice. Were warm. The classroom was quiet and as frustrating as it was? The tea itself? Was always... the one exception to how shit the situation was. So Danny finally broke down and asked about it. Learned Mr. Lancer knew a? Surprisingly LOT about tea. Huh.

Then one day he gets SATURDAY detention. Oh joy!

Bright and early. One of the few times he could be trying, desperately, to be sleeping through his parents cacophony. Catching up on his desperately needed Zzz's. Here he is... getting a handed a new cup of different tea?

Breakfast blend? And a bagel..

N...none hostile breakfast? A quiet space to catch up on his homework? No Dash? Just... just a quiet classroom, some tea, and the sounds on a peaceful morning outside?

......oh.

It's the best time he's had in school in... God, in YEARS. He gets so MUCH done. For once can concentrate. And? Actually, now that he thinks about it? Feels... awake? Or at the very least, not as sleepy. And being a Fenton, whom to the LAST are a genius if eccentric family, it's pretty damn easy to put two and two together.

Tea.

He felt more awake after having Lancer's breakfast blend tea.

He obviously asks about it. Then, after detention is done. Calm packs up. Goes home. Drops his back in his room. Goes ghost. And SHOOTS for the Far Frozen with his phone and an energy drink. Because clearly he's missing something and it's time to ask.

The good doctors of the Frozen are... gently horrified. Clawed hands steeples infront of their mouths as they try to tactfully figure out how to word "Great One, WHAT THE FUCK!?!? Why would you DO THIS TO YOURSELF!?" Because that... is not professional. Breathe. In, out, in, out. We can do this.

They get the most patient and restrained of their elders to... CALMLY, very VERY Calmly, ask some medical questions. Listen. Without judgements! Because they are medical professionals. Who do NOT want to scream, forever, into the void. Certainly not. So Calm! (They are going to BURN THAT CAN IN-)

Which! Huh. Yeah, that explains the constant exhaustion. He was poisoning himself. Kinda. Not so much the GHOST but the human half. Putting to much strain and too much trace chemicals, minerals, and buckets of sugar. General "mmmm :/ Don't Like THAT ™" energy from the Goo causing it too try and constantly burning it all out of existence. Endlessly.

The more he put in, the more there was to burn. The more there was to burn, the more tired he became. The more tired he became... well, the more he put in. It was a slowly lethal starvation cycle. Big Yikes.

The TEA on the other hand? Those are leaves. The good recognizes leaves and water. Other various plants, dried or otherwise. It ignores them as "fine" until they reach a "problematic" threshold, apparently? So... *blank look at the doctor*

*sighs in medical professional*

Tea? Good. Satan Can of Halfa Poison? Bad. Please drink tea.

👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

And it's like MAGIC. He's suddenly BACK, baby! Ha ha ha! Skulker you fuckin THOUGHT?! Oh it's 2am? Well SUPRISE bitch! He's bright eyed and bushy tailed! His grades are up AND he's beating you like a drum! He has ice breakers for old people discussions now!! The local Tea Shops have NEVER been so well protected.

He actually manages to graduate with not just decent grades? But GOOD ones.

And the second. The INSTANT. He is legally his own man? Has his important paperwork squirrelled away and the go bags safely WELL outside of Amity. It's time. He meets OUTSIDE the house, because he's not an idiot. He's been practicing his Clones and has them ready to grab his parents so he can get out of there alive. Jazz is on video call from Star city.

His parents... suspected. Not at first, but as goofy as they are? They aren't ACTUALLY idiots. They've been watching, going over old research. Trying, failing, to get in touch with the League to have THEIR team test their research. Peer review is critical after all. They... they had been so certain. Are still somewhat certain.

But their research doesn't exactly ACCOUNT for this "halfa" phenomenon. So, there is a very real chance they are missing something. The one thing the DO know? Danny is their son. Stuck in some eternal mortally wounded state or not, he is a hero. And they weren't there for him.

They can't change their beliefs on a dime. But they've clearly missed a great deal. And refuse to fall to academic bias. The very thing that got them LAUGHED AT for decades. Mocked and belittled. This is their life's work. By God they WILL find out the truth.

It's? Better then he could have hoped. Not perfect. But better.

He helps set up safeties and a security check point at the portal. Both sides. He's kinda a big deal these days, mom, dad. Ghost scientists eager to work with them. A whole TEAM under their command. It certain endears ghosts to them a whole lot more. Then?

Copy of the blue prints, go bag turned into normal bags, Danny's off to college.

Bounces from major to major. Nothing really capturing his interest. As he aged, he's need less sleep. Gotten stronger. Grown into his father's height and grandfathers build. Tucker keeps calling him a dorito. Danny retaliates with Ancient Egyptian Cyber/Pharoah Twink allegations. According to SAM they are both dumbasses.

She's not WRONG... but hey D:<

Eventually? A really niche botany seminar run by Pamela Isely catches the attention of Tucker, who forwards it to him n Sam. Nice ™. It's being held in her Murder Park! Cool! Obviously they have to go. So off to Gotham they go. And? When they get there? Sam is APPALLED.

She may HATE landlords as much as the next activist.... but LOOK at all these run down, foreclosed, rotting buildings! Beautiful gothic infrastructure! Those could be businesses or homes! Danny, busy with signing them up, makes the mistake of tuning her out as she rants in fury. She does this some times. Needs to vent. Uh huh, you're very right. You should contact somebody. I agree. Mmmhmmm.

Hey, Sam, Ms. Isely needs your-....

Sam?

Oh FUCK ™.

By the time the Seminar come around? Sam has violently kicked in the door of more then a feel reality offices. Owns QUITE a few buildings. Danny is sweating. She... she's doing the THING again. The "gimme your Ghost Crew, I KNOW you have a highly specific Ghost Crew, don't you DARE lie to me or I take your knee caps, Danny" stare.

>.> Sam you can't keep doin- *stare intensifies* Yes Ma'am. *Pulls out Fenton phone* and so? Here come the renovation crew. The ONLY honest building Crew in all of Gotham. They cut no corners. Can't be threatened. Gangs, villians, and even local government office try to arrange... accidents on the build sites.

Nothing. Nada. In fact, it turns out more dangerous for THEM then this crew of outsiders!

Wtf!

Then? After these two College age weirdos finish Poison Fuckin Ivys HIGHLY SUSPECT biology seminar? Manson fucks off to who knows where! Leaving what HAS to be "the muscle" behind. Cause I mean? Look, at the guy! He's huge! And what does he do?

Goes building to building. Rents them out to low income families. Honest, hard working shop keepers. And? Eventually decides to settle smack dab in the middle of Gotham, in the shadow of Wayne fuckin tower, spitting distance from the Space museum..... and open? A tea shop? The FUCK?

"The Zone".

In a weird shade of green. With little ghosts, wearing crowns, because and I quote "it's funny"? Certainly crazy enough for Gotham. But like, it's loud as FUCK here. Crowded. There are gas attacks and shit. It'll never las-....

It stays untouched for MONTHS.

Sometimes being the ONLY building near it to be untouched. Gas NEVER getting in. The damn place a BUNKER. And? Despite looking like it's two floors? It's three. You enter and your actually on the second floor. No one's even sure where the fuck the guy LIVES, since he never seems to leave.

Not only THAT. But it... it's like one of those old school apothecaries. Big ol bank of drawers. Guy'll mix up your blend for you right as you watch. Tea nuts are actually risking COMING to Gotham to try his stuff. Writing articles. Apparently he has some pretty rare shit in those drawers.

Some UNKNOWN shit, according to one guy on ViewTube.

There's this whole debate on if it's Ultra Super Rare or that means it's just super cheap knock off crap. Some of them he won't make for people, even if they ask. There's a rumor it's for Meta's with specific diets. Or alien blends. But no one can verify that. Cause like?

Anyone who tries to cause trouble?

Can't fucking FIND the place. And if you're already inside? You just... drop. Stone cold unconscious. It's definitely magic but no one knows if it's HIS or Manson's? You know? He won't talk. Gets annoyed when harrased.

Which off course!

Leaves Only ONE gentleman for the job. An elite special forces trained expert. Polite, dignified, enjoyer of fine Teas. Alfred "Why do you chucklefucks keep forgetting I was in the Queens Service and a Registered Badass" Pennyworth.

After all! He DOES have the days shopping to do.

@babbling-babull @the-witchhunter @hdgnj @legitimatesatanspawn @lolottes

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #dcxdp #dc x dp prompt #danny phantom #Tea Shop of Mysteries AU #alfred pennyworth

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voidlesscreator · 18 days

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Alfred's Relative??

It had been three days since the letter addressed to Alfred had come through the mail. From what Alfred had told them, it was a letter from his father saying that he would be stopping by the manor to visit him.

Tim had wanted to run checks on the letter since it was ‘suspicious’ that Alfred’s father was only writing to him now and was planning on visiting, but the old butler shut it down fairly quickly by telling him about how his father was busy and unable to send any letters or call for years.

Since neither Tim nor anyone else in the batfam had any reason to doubt Alfred’s words on the matter it was quickly dropped, though they were all waiting for the day the butler’s father turned up to see who raised the man who kept them all- in his best ability- alive.

— — — —

The day was like most others, Damian was busy tending to his pets early that morning, Tim was awake for the whole night and had crashed with his laptop still running his research despite him being out cold. Jason was staying the night due to Alfred’s insistence and was getting ready to leave when the doorbell of the manor rang out.

Since Jason was closer to the door than Alfred, who was busy in the kitchen prepping food for the rest of the manor’s residents, Jason went to open the door. He had heard from Dick about Alfred’s father coming to visit, so the doorbell ringing was most likely him.

From how old Alfred was, he was honestly expecting some frail old man, that would be a more likely choice then dead- which is obviously not the case if he is supposed to be visiting.

…

Jason was wrong apparently, because there was no way that this young man with a build similar to Bruce’s but more lean was Alfred’s father- there was no way.

“Can I help you?” Jason quirked an eyebrow as the man looked at him in surprise(was that concern mixed in there?) before snapping out of that look.

“Ah! Sorry, I sent a letter to my son a few days ago that I would be visiting- Is Alfred here?” The man gave Jason a smile -with clearly too-sharp teeth. This was a record scratch to Jason, quite literally since the man looked like he was Dick’s age, maybe a bit older but still.

“Wait what-”

“Master Jason, who may be at the door this early in the morning?” Alfred’s voice sounded out behind him, and there was a brief moment when Jason was turning to look at the butler where there was a sudden gust of wind before he saw the man at the door now hugging Alfred who was halfway across the foyer.

“Oh my Ancients! You’ve grown so much since I last saw you little Alf!” The man squealed as he began looking Alfred over. It was… an odd sight to see, especially when the man in question was his apparent father but looked half his age.

“Ah- yes father. It has been a few years” Alfred was still as collected as he usually was when he spoke, but it was clear that he was comfortable despite the man pinching his cheeks and cooing with an almost inhuman trill to his voice.

What in the Lazarus pits is this guy’s deal?

#dc x dp #danny phantom #alfred pennyworth #danny phantom x dc #dc comics #alfred is danny's son #jason todd #danny is a himbo but ancient #danny could rival bruce's brucie himbo persona

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