#and yeah i'm always a fan of making relationships more fucked up and complicated and even codependent/abusive for fun
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i kinda think that any portrayal of don giovanni and leporello’s relationship is incomplete if it doesn’t acknowledge that there is both genuine friendship/affection between them AS WELL AS abuse and hatred. they contain fucked up multitudes
#especially if you're taking it out of the fundamental/essential context of like.#16-18th century servitude and class dynamics#like esp if you're 'modernizing' it (which i do think is fine if you Do Something with that concept)#there's like. gotta be a reason they do all this shit together#ESPECIALLY if you're moving away from the literal patron/servant roles of the time period in which it was written#if leporello isn't like. legally and financially Required to do everything the don says then i think it's kind of lazy if you don't#acknowledge another facet of the relationship that makes it plausible#that could be gay love. if that's you bag. whatever#but personally i think there's both an element of leporello looking up to the don as an impossibly charismatic figure#and actual genuine friendship. like if they spend that much time together they have to enjoy each other's presence A Little right.#why wouldn't the don just fire him and get a new servant then if not right#(i also think leporello gay but i don't think that plays as much of a role as some fics out there seem to)#and i think the don has some real affection for leporello. that's his little buddy that's his partner in crime that's his roomie#but they are not equals. there is not mutual respect there#and yeah i'm always a fan of making relationships more fucked up and complicated and even codependent/abusive for fun#(see again whatever the hell is going on between curly and jud in dan fish oklahoma. my beloved)#but in the case of don giovanni i think it's not just making shit up for fanfic fun but like. there's textual basis here#and i think productions and fics and analyses and whatever else tend to swing in one direction or the other#but i think both elements are present in their relationship and both are important#sasha speaks
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seeing nightheart arguments again as with every asc release so once again, a reminder that when people say "nightheart's arc (or that of any other warrior cats character for that matter) is sexist", 99% of the time they are not calling the character, themselves, within the universe, a misogynist. nightheart in the books does not hate women. liking nightheart is not misogyny. what IS sexist there is the choices the authors make when they are writing a character. because at the end of the day, the characters themselves are not real.
in nightheart's case, at the start of his story almost every female character in his life (sparkpelt, finchlight, squirrelflight, lilyheart, myrtlebloom, etc) was written as being needlessly cruel to him, in spite of their own characters, and the male characters in his life (bramblestar, alderheart, bayshine) were written as far kinder or more reasonable towards him. the issue was not the FACT people were being mean to him, but the blatant trend and malicious gendered stereotypes going on with how it was handled.
"but they've been redeemed by Thunder! they're all being nicer to him now!" yeah, but isn't it super fucking weird that it was written like that in the first place? that finchlight changed personality like the weather when she should have been a prominent enough character to have an established one, that sparkpelt needs to redeem herself for absences in squirrelflight's hope and tbc that were unfairly out of her control and were not even considered an issue until now it's convienent to make her son sad, that squirrelflight was treated as antagonistic and cruel over asking her adult grandson to do some chores or whatever?
"but that's the author's fault, not the character's!" the character is not real though. he doesn't have feelings that can be hurt, what is there are the words on the page, and a lot of people will look at a character's arc rather than imagining them as a real person or making up headcanons to fill in gaps. there is also nothing wrong with people disliking a character you like. that is always going to happen forever.
"so are you saying i'm sexist because i like or relate to nightheart?" no, nobody is saying this. nightheart is an insecure angsty young adult protagonist in a tonally silly book series who has a complicated relationship with his family and gets into relationship drama, of course a bunch of people are going to latch on to him, and there's nothing wrong with that. i know a ton of nightheart fans. people criticising him is not a personal attack on you or anyone.
"you're looking into this too deeply" man this is warrior cats tumblr, what are any of us doing here. sometimes engaging critically with a text is fun. sometimes, texts have genuine flaws and harmful biases within their writing and it's useful to learn to identify and analyse them. warrior cats is not and never will be peak literature and i don't think anybody expects it to be but that doesn't mean people aren't allowed to take critical approaches to it on anything more than a surface level.
#long post#asc#this is not an attack on anybody this is an invitation to understand where critical perspectives are coming from#you can enjoy a character while acknowledging flaws in their writing. it's okay.
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𓆩♡𓆪 jock!jungkook—a much needed thread.
⇢ ☆ ˚₊ Jeon Jungkook, third year
Football player and part time fuck-boy (< Jimin said that). He's apart of many different clubs cause he likes the extra activities and the bonus points he gets as credits. A lot of people know him, he's got a snapchat score of more than one-hundred thousand (red flag!1!).
Jungkook's a cool guy, he's messed with a lot of girls but he doesn't take them seriously. Probably only had like one serious girlfriend out of all of them but he ended that real quick cause she wasn't it. Always at the frat parties cause his fraternity throws them lmao. Beer ping-pong enthusiast here!
Drives a black Mercedes Benz, likes to light it up and make thirst traps for his Instagram. His insta is literally only one pic, posts a bit more on stories when he feels like it (rarely). Gym rat with Namjoon. He don't do much outside of school if he's free, often stays at home playing different video games.
Nice "fuckboy".
⇢ ☆ ˚₊ y/n l/n, second year
In the nursing program but mainly majors in accounting/business. Talks to a lot of people but isn't friends with many. Really nice, too sweet for your own good. Lots of people like you, but they also take advantage of you cause you're a little too slow.
Airhead here! Really clueless half the time and is really slow. The nicest way possible you're a dumb bimbo. Likes to wear low cut tops a lot and cute miniskirts with tennis shoes but forgets to wear safety shorts a lot. Carries a big heart underneath those big tits—
Half the male population wants a piece. You have a lot of followers but you don't follow them cause you're busy following cat accounts. Major Animal Crossing and Sailor Moon fan right here. Posts a lot of thirst traps unknowingly. Owns a bunny. Said bunny sleeps on tits.
Hates clothes when at home <<<
⇢ ☆ ˚₊ Are you two dating?? Yes-No.
You act like it. Nothing is official and people are like what the fuck? Especially Jimin. No one is more confused than Jimin. Like what the fuck you mean you're not dating? But you're hitting it?!
It's complicated, you both beat around the bush around that topic but are extremely loyal. Like Jungkook still messes around with other girls but doesn't fuck them? You're too dense to notice any other guy flirting so sex is off the table for you.
Carries your bag around cause you complain it's heavy. Has bought a Nintendo switch just to play Animal Crossing with you. His mom loves you and your mom loves him. Lap is your permanent chair, face is your gaming chair—
Hand? On tits. Always.
⇢ ☆ ˚₊ But you fuck? Yes. Just yes.
Only happened cause he helped you out and you kissed his cheek in return which somehow turned into you giving his dick a kiss and then yeah. Titty galore. This man loves your tits, always leaves a mark and never misses a chance to squeeze. Ass is amazing too but titties..
"Maybe you shouldn't wear any panties when we hang out." "Hm. Okay. I don't like clothes anyways. ^^"
Creampies to the max. Jungkook likes watching your dewy folds stick to his cock whenever he slides out and then pushes back in. He'll fill your pussy and then watch as your pussy gapes around nothing and strings of creamy cum slips from your cunt. Challenges himself to make you cum more then three times in one go.
Got the chubbiest and softest pussy ever. You're a creamer. It's Jungkook's most favorite thing in the world. He'll fuck you slowly just to hear the soft noises your cunt makes. He'll have you on all fours with your chest flat on the bed and ass high in the air. Your hands will come back to grip your ass cheeks and hold it apart to show off your pretty holes.
Jungkook's a huge fan of taking photos of you naked and filled with cum. He'll even video tape you two fucking either from a first person pov or just set the phone up on the nightstand.
⇢ ☆ ˚₊ Ummmmm but the relationship status?? Very much giving "mine and I'm not sharing".
hiiiii this is a small series i’m considering writing! might turn it into a fic hehe with lots and lots of dirty smut. though, i’m willing to write your ideas based on this thread!
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HELLO !! it's me again~ (⌒▽⌒)☆
eeeh, sooo...maybe you could write some reverse comfort for kyle, butters and kenny?? i literally have no ideas for plot and all this stuff but i really ENJOY reverse comfort stuff. i mean it makes me happy when i make feel better other people, that's it! (＠＾◡＾) so i would be so happy if you could write something like this !!
so yeah it could be some kind of one shots or something??! just a lot of comfort, a lot of fluff ☆ ～('▽^人)
(oh gosh i LOVE kaomoji so much. no one can blame me for using it wahaha!)
hi my love! i tried my best! i hope you like it <33
Comforting Kyle, Kenny and Butters.
Kyle
"Hi Mrs Broflovski, is Kyle home?"
"Oh hi, Y/N! Yes, he's home but he's not feeling well. He's in his room." Sheila opened the door wider for you as you walked in.
"Thank you, I won't be too long." You gave her a smile and made your way to Kyle's room.
He hadn't been at class that day, which was rare for Kyle. Something had to be up. You knew that him and Stan weren't on great terms after asking Stan if he'd seen Kyle and he'd seemed almost offended that you'd asked him about Kyle.
Knocking on his door softly, you entered to see Kyle, red-eyed, sitting on his bed, staring at his phone. He quickly looked up and made eye contact with you. It took less than five seconds before his eyes filled with tears again and he turned away.
"Kyle, what happened? Are you sick?" No response.
You sat down next to him and waited for a moment. You knew he'd start talking once he had a moment to compose himself.
"Stans an asshole." He wiped his eyes quickly, "I keep trying to help but he'd rather wallow in self-pity and drink than actually listen to his best friend." His voice broke slightly when he referred to Stan as his 'best friend'. You softly placed your hand on his.
"He'll come around. He always does. You know he's weird about stuff with Wendy." You could only guess that was why Stan was in a bad spot. They were so on-and-off you could barely keep up with when they were together and when they weren't.
"But why am I always there for him and he always chooses the alcohol?" He leaned his head closer to your shoulder.
Your relationship with Kyle was somewhat undefined. In moments like these, you felt too close to just be friends but most of the time, he just treated you like any of the guys. In some selfish part of your mind, you always hoped that these moments would finally shatter that glass wall between the friendship and something more.
"And when I'm upset, everyone just expects me to deal with it alone."
"Well, you're not alone right now. I'm here, I'll always be here." He looked at you with glossy eyes. You could see how exhausted he was, "You know that you can talk to me, and you know that Stan will work himself out. He's complicated. This is just how he is with the Wendy stuff. He'll probably grow out of it. Boys are dumb, y'know." He laughed a bit at the last part. He continued to watch you carefully before seemingly making a choice. He abruptly threw his arms around you and just started sobbing.
You were a bit shocked, he'd never full-on hugged you before, let alone really, properly cried in front of you. You hugged him back, tightly and resolved to stay that way until he was ok.
Almost ten minutes later, his sobs had subsided into soft whimpers. Your fingers traced light patterns into his shoulders and back as you sat silently with him.
"Thank you, Y/N. What the fuck would I do without you?"
"Probably still be lame." You joked. He sat back slowly. Something in his eyes had changed. He suddenly didn't seem so tired. Arms still around each other, you could feel his breath on your cheeks, gently fanning you. You couldn't help but lean closer. Closer, until your lips were barely brushing. You were paralyzed, waiting for his decision.
It took him just a moment to close the gap. When the two of you connected, it felt magical. How long had you been waiting for this? You could taste the tears on his lips but you didn't care. When you finally pulled apart, his cheeks were almost as red as his hair.
"Feel better?" You smirked a bit and he pushed you away in a joking way. Despite the joke, you could see that the life in his eyes had returned and he was smiling.
Butters
"Screw you, Eric! And screw the rest of you, too. You all sit there and let him be as mean as he wants!" You looked up from the table you were sat at with Red and Bebe. Butters was standing up and yelling at his friend group. His face was red and he was just barely holding back tears. You watched him storm off.
"I'll be right back." You stood and rushed off after him, ignoring the questions from your friends.
You burst through the doors of the canteen, frantically looking around for Butters. You caught his gaze as he was slumped against the wall, tears now falling freely.
"What happened?" You quickly moved to him and grabbed his hands.
"Nothing, Eric is just a terrible person."
"No news there then. Why do you even hang out with him? He's awful to you!" He seemed a bit taken aback but that quickly changed.
"He's my friend! I don't have your luxury of choosing whoever I want to hang out with! I'm not good at making friends... I never have been."
"Leo, I'm your partner? Why don't you hang out with me and my friends?" You pleaded with him, reaching to wipe his tears with your sweater sleeves.
"People will think I'm weird if I'm hanging around a bunch of girls all the time." You snorted a bit.
"First of all, that's not the worst thing for people to think. Secondly, it doesn't matter what they think. The only opinions that matter are from people who actually care. Like me... shouldn't my opinion matter?"
"Of course, Y/N. Your opinion matters to me more than anyone else." He seemed to have resigned himself to understanding you. You knew he would go back to hanging around Eric but for the moment, you could enjoy having your boyfriend to yourself.
You pulled him off to walk around the block and cool him off. When you finally returned to your original spot, you kissed him softly and ran your fingers through his hair. He smiled, still embarrassed at the affection being so public, but he didn't care. You were a true angel and if he was seen with you, nobody could say anything that would hurt him.
Kenny
Hearing yelling and glass crashing wasn't the most abnormal thing in South Park. However, hearing Kenny's voice was a bit of a shock.
You checked the time. 11:37pm. What the hell is Kenny doing out on the street, yelling?
Looking out your window, you could see him stumbling, with a broken bottle of whiskey in his hand. You were so confused, but you rushed downstairs anyways and out into the street.
"What the fuck are you doing? Come inside!" You grabbed his arm with one hand and twisted the bottle out of his hand with the other, tossing it into the grass as you pulled him back towards your house.
Once inside with the lights on, you could tell he'd been crying earlier but now he was angry.
"What is going on with you? This area is too sketchy for you to be wandering around... drunk." He gripped your hand as you let go of his arm.
"Y/N I'm gonna kill my parents."
"Uhm, no. But also, why?" You guided him to sit on the couch. He fell clumsily into the cushions, pulling you with him.
"My dad hit Karen again. So, I hit him. And then he started throwing shit at me. And my mom was just screaming at all of us. I hate them so much. My dad pushed me outside and locked me out."
Struggling to find a comfortable position to sit without completely untangling yourself from Kenny appeared to be impossible, so you sucked it up and stayed with your legs draped over him and your back arched forward to keep holding his hand.
"Okay, I kind of get it, but in terms of murdering someone, we're gonna have to sleep on it." He was still breathing heavily, eyes lit up with rage you'd never seen from your normally laid-back friend. You squeezed his hand, desperately trying to pull him back to reality. He squeezed back and his eyes softened slightly, meeting yours. Suddenly his hands were on your face and his lips on yours. You could feel him almost squishing your cheeks together in his drunken state. You kissed back, trying to be gentle. It didn't take too long for him to pull away, now looking somewhat scared.
"Oh god, Y/N. I'm so sorry. I'm just... I'm tired but you're so perfect and I can't even think properly. I've wanted to do that for so long but not like this. You should've had a choice-"
"Ken, it's ok. I liked it. I'm just sorry you're upset while this finally happened." You pulled his hood fully off his head and stroked his hair, smiling reassuringly. His eyes spilled tears and he hugged you so hard, your breath seemed to be pushed out of your lungs. "Hey... Ken? I... I can't breathe." He loosened his grip just enough to allow you to breathe again. You moved to sit fully on his lap and hold his head while he silently released all his emotions into your shirt.
"I fucking love you. How are you so perfect?" You laughed a bit and felt him finally relax into your arms.
It didn't take too long for you two to pass out on the couch, still tangled together in a comforting embrace.
I hope u enjoyed! ive never really written comfort before so i did my best! idk whether yall like the longer oneshots that i accidentally write, so if shorter is better, please tell me!
#south park#south park oneshots#south park drabble#south park x reader#kenny x reader#kyle x reader#butters x reader#kenny mccormick x reader#kenny mccormick#kyle broflovski x reader#kyle broflovski#butters stotch x reader#butters stotch
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Your post about that dialogue from Gotham Knights (the game) made me think back on how much I miss Bruce and Dick's relationship tbh. Like obv it was never the healthiest thing ever, and Bruce was always emotionally constipated, but it always felt a little more... equal? Recently it's just felt so toxic, like Bruce will be an asshole, and Dick will be hurt by it but will still come back to him and will remove the burden of Bruce apologizing for anything from him. Like the scene between them in Nightwing 100, where Bruce is rightfully apologizing for his crap and Dick says he doesn't have to. I do like that scene (even if it was over the top), but that's not right. Like, no sir, he has a lot to apologize for lmao. But that's literally been their dynamic for so long. Whenever Bruce should be called out, Dick just forgives him and Bruce goes back to doing the same old shit again, and Dick forgives him again, and rinse and repeat.
Honestly, it feels like whoever wrote those scenes took a look at that one meme of Batman slapping Robin and said "hey, they like that, let's do that!" Like, you can't go a long time without Bruce hitting Dick. Because they think fans eat that shit up ig. They are so attached to their shock value Bruce and Dick fights and their image of brooding Bruce that they won't address their fucked-up relationship and won't change the status quo. We have gotten many scenes of them being great together and having sweet moments, but those all feel tainted by the rest of it. It's as recent as the amnesia arc where Bruce re-traumatized Dick and then didn't help him when he was living in his car and then pretty much emotionally manipulated him to become Nightwing again. Recent comics really have forgotten what Batman is about.
And it sucks, because Dick is my fave of all faves, but I also love the hell out of Bruce Wayne, and it's so sad to see him be reduced to this... only brooding, borderline abusive asshole. They won't let him grow or develop. I don't mind conflict, and I like that they have a complicated relationship. I didn't even mind Bruce punching Dick, because it's interesting. Once was fine, twice was fine, the same thing happening all the time without addressing it and with no change across years is kind of a problem. I'm only keeping up with the Nightwing run out of loyalty to my boy, but from what I've heard of the events that are happening outside of that, it seems that they are having issues again, and I'm waiting for the next Batman issue that features Nightwing to also feature another punch or something. It's always Bruce being coddled by the story and never being asked to make the step forward, it's always Dick that has to give in and make Bruce feels better about his flaws and free him of any responsibility for his actions even when it's time for Bruce to step up and grow up.
It's why I prefer the animated adaptations or the retellings. I think world's finest did a good job with their relationship, I feel like Robin: Year 1 from back in the day did too, and Young Justice animated for its many flaws has a solid dynamic between them. They still have a complicated relationship, but it isn't so dramatically awful. It allows for a more balanced and well-rounded portrayal of the character when you aren't pandering to some people by flanderizing the character ig. Anyway, sorry for ranting, you're like my fave Dick Grayson blog so I just wanted to share. Hope this wasn't a bother.
No yeah I hated that aspect of Nightwing #100. If TT wanted to do a scene like that, he should’ve built up a conflict between Dick and Bruce to give us some context as to some type of thing Bruce actually needed to apologize for. Then he could’ve had Bruce apologize, Dick accept the apology, and end it with that reconciliation.
Instead, he just had Bruce apologize like, “I’m sorry I failed you, I’m sorry I pushed you away, I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like I wasn’t proud of you,” which would’ve hit much harder if, again, they had shown some kind of recent conflict between Bruce and Dick to warrant that sudden apology. And for Dick to then express his own hurt and such over said conflict. And then for them to come to some reconciliation. But yeah it’s very unsatisfying for Bruce to just list things he’s sorry for, and for Dick to hug him and just reassure Bruce. Like nooo let Bruce feel bad. Let Dick feel bad because of what Bruce did to him. Let Dick be angry. Let them both hurt. Then let them heal.
As for the amnesia arc, I feel like they really did a disservice to Bruce by not focusing enough on his trauma from the sniper incident. If they really stressed how much it traumatized him and then showed how his actions were effected by that (like giving him a dire need to have Dick return to normal bc otherwise it’s like Dick just died in his arms on that rooftop) then that is much more sad and compelling, and we can at least kind of see where Bruce is coming from by showing Dick the sniper video (though it would’ve been better if they just… hadn’t done that all).
If I had been writing that issue, I would’ve had it from Bruce’s POV where he would’ve constantly been in a state of flashbacks. Like seeing his parents getting killed and then comparing it to Dick getting shot. And then having flashbacks of Dick when he was younger but then Bruce imagining that Dick keeps getting shot in the head in each of those memories. And all of that literally just like… pushing Bruce over the edge. And then of course when Dick wakes up and asks Bruce “Who are you?” Bruce spirals even further. And we see his descent to this very isolated and dark place where he just wants his son back at all costs. That would’ve been waaaaay more interesting. Extremely dark ofc. But interesting.
Yeah the comic Dick and Bruce relationship can definitely be toxic (and I’m not totally opposed to that bc I think it makes things interesting between them), and there are animated shows that show them in a more balanced light. The Batman (2004) is one of those shows as well. Dick was Robin then ofc, and Bruce wasn’t so dark at that point in life. But when you watch shows like that, it reminds you of the character Bruce is supposed to be, and it reminds you of what you like the most about him. So definitely nice to watch shows like that sometimes to remind yourself of the Bruce Wayne that exists outside of modern comics.
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Me just giving my honest opinions.
Ok so I've been working a story about p03 and the challenger (because good lord most of the fans of inscryption are only there for that smug sassy android asshole!)
Since I'm still working on that story but I feel like contributing at least three more post about this masterpiece of a game I'm just going to give my opinions on the scrybes (be ready for magnificus slander because I'm about to drop a doo- no, no. Not gonna let that out yet.)
Regardless I'll be doing this in order of the scrybes stones (1st grimora, 2nd leshy, 3rd the smug android, 4th the living moss pile)
Grimora. Oh boy, I'll be honest I have.. complicated emotions about this old scrybe. One I love her character and her motivation but for the love of GOD does she also makes me infuriated. This is the card lover in me but like.. I wanna play more. Let me have my final fight with leshy that doesn't involve DELETION! Regardless, I like her character.
Leshy. If it wasn't obvious by nickname I give this grampa of the forest. I enjoy leshy. All this Man is wanting to do is play cards. Yeah he sealed his fellow scrybes into cards but ah it's water under the bridge. 2/3rds of them deserved it anyway. So yeah if I could befriend any scrybe. It be leshy.
P03. I... I have a love/hate relationship with this smug sassy android. I want to punt him into the stratos but also enjoy when hes a smug little shit. I'll either being laughing at his death or laughing at how well he plays the Uberbots. This smug sassy ass android will always have me rolling.
Magnificus. So I've had a positive reaction to almost all of the scrybes. This isnt one of them. Pardon me as I'm about to take a FAT SHIT all over this MF. Those who haven't caught on, I hate this pile of LIVING MOSS! One he's a horrible, HORRIBLE! Teacher. Like yeah he taught his students magic but may I remind you whats happening to them RIGHT NOW. Ones head is impaled on a PIKE! A FUCKING PIKE! The other one is just straight jello at this point Aside from his eyes and brain. Oh yeah and the last one just straight up hates the pile of moss during act 3! I have a deep hatred for magnificus and even deeper hate for his boss fight. I'm sorry I don't care if the games already random MY CARDS EFFECT SHOULDN'T BE!
Ok... I'm done. Sorry I probably subjected you all to brain rot but I just wanted to get this out.
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The Bumbleby scene feels too random at this point. It’s like they literally picked the scene out of a hat to “confirm” it. As you mentioned, the don’t even hold hands. You’re telling me that’s more intimate than the freaking cheek holding head touched in V8? Wait a minute, didn’t everyone think BB started back in V6 after they killed Adam? What the fuck is even going on anymore?!
People have always shipped it, but yeah, 'canonizing' them started post-Volume 3 and ramped up into 'Oh damn I think they're really gonna do it!' territory in Volume 6. We've got:
Yang grappling with Blake leaving post-Beacon. (She's not, for example, similarly concerned that Weiss 'abandoned' her too. Yang shouldn't have any idea that Weiss was essentially kidnapped by her dad)
Tender and then rejected hand-holding in the shed at the farm
Agreed upon hand-holding while fighting Adam which, yeah, a lot of people read as the moment they 'solved' their relationship troubles, seguing into something new. Hand-holding is often used in RWBY to indicate a romantic relationship, the only problem with using this as a confirmation is that all our other examples also have something more overt: Saphron and Terra are married, Nora kisses Ren/he says "I love you," etc.
Adam's "What do you see in her?" line. Although, this one is severely complicated by a contradiction in the fandom. Many fans claim this implies that Adam recognizes Blake's interest in Yang precisely because she was once interested in him - how can you like her over me? That's compounded by his motivations changing from being politically focused to what feels like stalking and hunting down an ex. However, these fans don't want to admit to the other implications that Blake and Adam were an item due to a lot of anti-men sentiments, biphobia, gold star lesbian nonsense, and the like. Basically, some fans want to use Adam's potential relationship with Blake as proof that she's in a relationship with Yang now, but not actually admit that they ever had that relationship because ew, how could perfect Blake like a male villain? There's also some of that with Sun: fans using Blake's interactions with him to support an interest in Yang ('She has a type!'), but simultaneously denying that blacksun was ever a possibility because that supposedly (not actually) threatens the sanctity of her One True Sapphic Love.
Forehead touch after Adam dies + a promise to never leave
More hand-holding in the airship
Blushing over Yang complimenting her haircut
Having fun pre-outing in Atlas that kinda implies it might be a date, but no one actually establishes it as a date and everyone is going out together, so...
Taking silly pictures together when they get their licenses
Nora's comments to Ren about how they're likely more than friends
Yang being worried about Blake even though she fought with Ruby
Yang tenderly cupping Blake's cheek when they're reunited
Blake loosing it when Yang "dies"
Tackle-hug when everyone else gets...uh, a knee touch?
Blake being flirty, leaning in, finger brush
Weiss' "It's about time" comment
I've probably missed some stuff, but the point is that it's been four years (or even six years depending on how far back you're willing to go) and we're still in this flirty, teasing, ambiguous stage where, as demonstrated above, reading a romantic relationship often requires making a lot of assumptions that rely on having a lot of trust in your writers. I don't know if I'd call all this random, but it is a holding pattern. They blush, hold hands, and others vaguely comment on what they might be. But unlike our straight couples, we're not given anything solid to canonize them with.
I mean, even if you're a fan who believes that these little breadcrumbs are enough to prove the love between them (and here I'm addressing the fandom at large, not you specifically, Happygaynoises2) we get how the queer couples aren't given equal treatment, right? Pyrrha kissed Jaune. Nora kissed Ren. Ren said "I love you." Jaune asked Weiss to the dance. Weiss blatantly chases after Neptune. Ozpin marries and has kids with Salem. Everyone but Adrian has married, straight parents.
Compare that to our queer rep (with May being an exception due to her gender) and it's pretty obvious that this glacial "slow burn" has less to do with the needs of the story and more about RT hesitating to make two of the main girls unambiguously queer. After all, if most of your fans are happy with those breadcrumbs and a canonical relationship would drive away the homophobes... why not just toe the line to keep both groups around, giving you more money?
That's a form of queerbaiting and it's why so many of us remain nervous. I seriously hope given what we've seen so far that this will FINALLY be the Volume when we can set the 'Will they, won't they?' to rest. But who can actually say.
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Why I'm not watching the owl house series finale:
The Owl House, as a series, is just kind of disappointing. Like the writing is just bad. And it's frustrating, because it has so much potential, and then just does almost absolutely nothing with it. I watched the first season and thought it was ok, with the beginning of season 2 especially drawing me in. It kept hinting at bigger world building reveals and plot points and then... Never did anything with them. Things that could have been interesting are brought up but then never elaborated on. And I kept watching, hoping for them to expand on it. But it just never happened. I realized with one episode left, I wouldn't get what I wanted. And it wasn't just because the show got cancelled; the writing was just... Bad.
Some smaller examples include Darius and his relationship to the past Golden Guard, which could have helped explain his motives and build on his character and relationships with other characters. He was one of my faves too lol so maybe I'm salty about that, but the pieces were there, they just never did anything with them.
And the frustrating thing is this wasn't just with one of their million characters they had and never actually expanded on, this shit happened with major plot points and world building aspects, like idk, your main villain?? And like, the literal giant organism everyone lives on???
Speaking of which... The Titan :))). The TITAN. THE THING THE WORLD IS LITERALLY BUILT UP ON. KING'S DAD. Is never properly expanded on. I've seen people talk about the finale and I think they elaborate more in it? But to wait until the finale it just feels like there could have been so much more done. What about all the murals on the walls, the mysterious circumstances, the fact that everyone is literally living on what appears to be a giant corpse? That's fucking cool as hell. And they hint that there is more. But they never really do anything with it. It's just touched on shallowly and we never get any real answers. Its disappointing.
Second example oh boy here we go.... The main villain of the show, the bastard himself, Belos. The fact that his backstory with Caleb was explained through blurry portraits that most people wouldn't even notice (Hollow Mind) is just like, what? And a few words from Masha. But that's it. The most enjoyable part of the second special for me was when Belos was having fucked up hallucinations and literally digging up more corpses and destroying another grimwalker and shit, because he's fucked up and complicated and has potential to be an awesome villain. And showing that is like fuck yeah! This is interesting! But they don't expand on it enough, they always seem to cut away before they really actually explain anything. If half your story has to be told through tweets and podcasts to make any sense, then... You simply aren't writing your story well. I need actual content. That's why I love the fan content for this show so much, because they expand on all the things the show never actually does.
There are so many characters, so many plot threads they just do nothing with, and it's frustrating. I know it's just a kids show and I'm probably putting too much energy into this and need to touch some grass or whatever. This isn't even all that articulate and I could go on about how willow and gus get sidelined, etc. But it's been said before. It's just frustrating seeing people say there is nothing wrong with the show at all/blaming it all on getting cancelled when really it could've been so good. But they just... Dropped the ball.
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Cw: Fatphobia, body shaming, disordered eating, suicidal ideation
We talking about that “””banter””” in Marvel’s Avengers when the team bullied Tony about his weight and he talks about being on a juice cleanse?? Because I hate that so, so much. Like. Tony was depressed! and isolated for 5 years!!! And like, Not Doing Ok!
@blossomsinthemist was talking about it and like :(((((( https://www.tumblr.com/blossomsinthemist/721606463816105984/nat-may-claim-she-never-broke-cover-to-help
Plus the fact that it’s heavily implied Nat, that takes part in the bullying, KNOWS Tony was depressed and suicidal https://www.tumblr.com/blossomsinthemist/721588267817025536/i-need-more-fics-out-squareenixs-steve-coming-to
And like you said, he is still thin in the game, but like, so what if he wasn’t? Tony can be any shape and he wouldn’t deserve that! He could still be any shape and still kick ass in a literal power suit. Like. :(
(I kinda liked how I’m the game Tony seemed to have a bit of a hunch to him, man’s a workaholic that is either typing or leaned over a work table and I liked seeing that in a character design (tho it might just be a bad rig and all the characters have it, it’s just hidden under their costumes), but -11000099999 points for the ““banter””. EG Thor all over again)
yeah! that is what i was referring to in this post. as i'm watching playthroughs to make MA content for STG, i found this scene so off-putting and it reminded me of a lot of other ones i've seen in comics. & feeling just the general vibe reading a comic that i am never gonna get to see fat people be heroic. especially not at least, without emphasizing that they're a fat person sure, but they are still heroic, don't worry!
fat heroes' heroism always comes as a caveat to their body shape and weight.
nasty!!!!
but yes blossoms' point here abt tony and perception of self and internalizing a lot of judgement values about his appearance and how fun it is to explore that are so apt!
blossoms always handles tony's relationship with his own body in such compelling and intricate ways that are very tender and vulnerable. and i agree! i also like exploring these themes and playing with how tony relates to being a public figure, as well as how he relates to himself and the ways in which he feels pleasure or contentment or beauty or pride.
to blossoms+anons second point, abt nat knowing, yeah. if you read it just in-text, it can be really complicated by their own individual and combined relationships to trauma and processing and how much info they are sharing between them. that's always very interesting to eke out of interactions w the two of them -- two people who can guard their hearts and heads so intensely.
but taking a meta-textual approach to it, i flat out think when people ascribe their own -isms to characters, they are not thinking about how it fits a character's personality or interpersonal relationships.
we, as the fans, do the labor of asking how it can be internally consistent for a character that grew up without bodily autonomy, that knows intimately how loss and trauma affect your bodily functions, who knows exactly how tony fights and what it takes to do that, who knows that bodies are only one tool in a whole box -- makes fun of someone who trusts her, on her team, for potentially gaining weight. we hypothesis and convolute the relationship and infer from the absences of a canon text. the writers don't have to do any of that work. and that more than anything generally proves to me how shoehorned in all the -isms people apply to characters are.
they're not thinking three levels deep. and to be honest, i like our collective 3 level thoughts better than there, so ! phooey on them!! they don't get a seat at our table.
it literally doesn't matter what your body looks like if you're designing a metal suit to go around it that is based on non-physical input to function. and tony's found family should abso-fucking-lutely not be (even jokingly) shaming him for disordered eating and suicidal ideation, esp not during a battle lol. but yes, tony should have a hunch and neck problems and whine and use a heating pad and tiger balm too much <3 beloved greasemonkey sun.
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12, 13, 16
the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them: I feel like a solid percentage of my fandom experience is pretty much me picking a if not unpopular then probably controversial character and then proceeding to talk loudly and ad nauseam about why I think people should like them.
but if I gotta pick just one, and thinking about characters who I feel like are actively unpopular (as opposed to controversial, which is a different category; like, I'd put Xue Yang in the latter but not really the former, since he's got a middling strength group of core fans)...
since I mentioned Black Jewels Trilogy I'll throw one out for Jaenelle Angelline who I recall people really not liking back in the day, at least (I'm not actively in the fandom now so maybe this isn't the case anymore), or at least didn't find interesting as a character. and I get that because on the one hand sure, she's a classic "all the good guys love her, all the bad guys hate her, all-powerful chosen figure" character, but I've always been deeply fond of her because like. she's weird. she starts out weird and continues to be weird, she's really fucked up psychologically actually, she's kind of socially awkward and this combination of shy and insecure and exuberant confidence. she's sweet and compassionate and also vindictive and capable of horrific cruelty.
I think I have kind of a thing for characters who are extremely fucking powerful and also a complete mess as human beings and that's how I always felt about Jaenelle? yeah, she can decimate a planet and makes friends with unicorns but also doesn't really know how to be a normal human person. I don't know. I don't actually expect other people to be with me on this but I am.
but also, a while back I went looking for Wang Lingjiao fic because I was like "there's interesting material there about this woman from a nobody family who ends up in a relationship with the son of a major sect leader, and, like, what was she thinking? did she try to catch Wen Chao or did he notice her and she either (a) made the best of a bad situation by turning it to her advantage or (b) actively decided that she was going to improve her own life via this guy? like, yeah, she's petty and mean and vindictive and I want to know what's going on in her head. in a story that has a lot of people who come from low station and suffer for it, and sometimes even more for trying to get out of it, I'm prodding at her version of that and going "there's something here, give it to me."
sometimes think about that half idea I had where Wang Lingjiao notices Wen Chao coming onto her, doesn't like the idea, and basically tries to escape by glomming onto Wen Qing instead. Wen Qing/Wang Lingjiao rights, is what I'm saying.
worst blorboficiation: my first reaction to this was "oh no, are we going to make "blorbofication" the new "woobification", I was glad when we left that word behind and I don't want to see it replaced, I really don't."
but also. in my heart I immediately knew my answer and it's perfect good boy Wei Wuxian. singlehandedly turned me around on my feelings for a character and I don't really know how to get the good ones back at this point and I would really like the good ones back. I got into this fucking fandom because of him as basically an antagonist-as-protagonist model (i.e. a character who could be an antagonist in most stories but narrative positioning complicates things) - in CQL, even, so this isn't just adaptation decay or whatever - and now...augh.
idk man it makes me sad to think about too much. going back to thinking about Wen Qing/Wang Lingjiao rights instead.
you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc): so many and I feel like a lot of them have come up in answers to other questions...going to throw this one out though to the people who insist that Xue Yang never had any squishy feelings for Xiao Xingchen and all his motives were bad and evil forever, not just because hey that's my baby but also because it is, as I've said before, both an incredibly shallow read of the story as a whole that strips it of part of what makes it so painful and good and also makes that whole dynamic so much less interesting.
it just makes me feel kind of crazy, also, the way I look at that arc and see the reiteration of themes across MDZS and across MXTX's other works and feel like I'm just going "LOOK AT IT. LOOK AT IT, YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIKE IT BUT AT LEAST SEE WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT" and meanwhile there's another post in the tag throwing "no empathy" around as a shortcut to indicate "bad and evil."
anyway. I'm tired. every month or so I have to block another one.
#conversating#stripedroseandsketchpads#lise memes#lise's aggressively bitchy opinions about irrelevant and unimportant matters
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I’ll get a lot of hate for this but..colby seems like a player (fuck boy) to me..i don’t know..the things he do to shea (makes her feel some type of way) then he push her away..the same happened with stas, he was so touchy with her and then pushed her away..i know she was in love with him 100% but that’s not a reason to push every girl from him away when this happens and he wonders why he is always alone? and there’s alot of girls he did that to. Yeah i know, not everyone wants a relationship but that guy cry that he doesn’t have a gf or something like that but fucks around with others. I like sam better in this perspective..tbh.. sometimes i don’t really understand colby..also their content and everyone is only for money rn..that’s how i see it. I remember in like 2016-2019 they were responding to alot of fans on ig etc etc..i feel like everyone is about money right now..
Btw thanks for reading that. Also it doesn’t mean hate on anyone but yk..
you are not the only person to have sent in an ask like this to me over the years. so, you're not the only one that feels this way.
that being said, i do not agree with you.
now, did colby in the past maybe fuck around with some girls? sure. he definitely had a bit of a player history. but, you also then have to believe that every girl he was around was someone he was hooking up with/had a relationship with in some way. and that's just not true. reality is, we don't know reality. what we are going off of is our assumptions. not every girl he was around at one point or another was a girl he was hooking up with. it's honestly kinda strange to assume that this man can't have a friendship with a woman without there being some weird connotation of "oh he actually wants her" or "she wants to get with him" or "he clearly wants to fuck her". not saying you're implying that, i'm just stating generally.
shea and him have a complicated thing that i don't think we will ever know the real, full story to. but at the end of the day, regardless of what you believe, they are both grown adults. if they wanted to have a relationship, they would have had one by now. shea is almost 30. she's is too grown to blame colby (if she really does that at all) for stringing her along. if he's promising you the world, but going out with other girls, he's a liar. you should have left a long time ago. but clearly either a) that's not happening or b) you are forcing yourself to believe something that isn't real. and that's your own fault, not his. that doesn't excuse his possible stringing along-ness, but he can't do that to you if you already left 🤷🏻♀️
and as for stas… he never treated her more than in a friendly way. sorry if you disagree, but i saw not one single thing that pointed to them having anything more than maybe a slightly flirty/touchy friendship. the reason why she got so hurt over it was bc she had feelings for him, he didn't reciprocate, and bc she thought she could make him like her, she stuck around in her fantasy too long. that man literally brought along a date to hang out with her and other friends. what about that screams "oh he's into me, he just doesn't know how to express it"????? that man made it clear as day what his feelings were, she just didn't listen.
none of this even takes into account that both girls have used colby for YEARS to gain followers, clout, and to make money off of his fans that become theirs. like…. that's it's own can of worms.
and he has EVERY. RIGHT. to reject girls that love him too much bc if he's not into them, why should he pretend to be??? you literally are saying he's a fuckboy for stringing them along, but then complain that he shouldn't say he's lonely bc "he pushes them away". so… is he supposed to pretend to like them and string them along, or cut them loose but still get blamed for being lonely?? which one is it?
he's allowed to have standards or not just settle with the first girl that shows emotional attachment to him. that's not how love works. and on top of that, he's allowed to complain about wanting someone to love but not having someone even tho he has plenty of suitors. reality is, colby has outwardly said for a very long time that he hasn't met someone he wants to spend the rest of his life with. he has made that clear as day for YEARS now. and also for years he has said he hasn't been in a serious relationship since 2016. if this is what he says publicly to fans, i can only imagine he lays it out thicker privately. that would also mean that any girl he has been with was never serious in the first place. aka, there were no feelings attached. so when things ended, it's not a breakup. it's just two ppl who were casually seeing each other leaving and finding someone else. that doesn't negate that he probably had used a girl from time to time for emotional support or whatever. i'm not saying that's not true. but the fact of the matter is, there has been ONE GIRL that i can name that has outright had an issue with colby after "breaking up" with him. and collectively, out of the many everyone assumes he's been with, that kinda shows that maybe he is telling the truth to these girls about what he wants. bc if he was burning bridges left and right, he would have been up in flames by now.
and sam literally just got out of a relationship where he strung kat along for years, mentioning talks of getting married, how his last name sounds good with her first, only to turn around and get cold feet when the ultimatum came. not to mention the vampire situation (him purposefully keeping her out of the editing room while he was working and all she wanted to do was hang out), him not even giving her a key to his house in la even tho she was over every single day, him now currently mentioning how he didn't really hang out with her all that much the last year of their relationship and how he could have been better, him not sharing his calendar with her so she would never know when he was leaving or going, him literally telling fans in emails how so much better he's doing now that he's not in a relationship with her anymore, her literally getting death threats by HIS FANS and he says literally nothing about it…. need i go on? he's not exactly star bf of the year either.
and as for the whole thing of "they only do things for money now"…. that's kinda always been the case. this is their job. they need to do things for money to survive. not to mention, they have grown exponentially since that time period of 2016-19. just based on subs alone, and nothing else, they have the combined population of nyc and philly. that's how many eyes are on them at any given point. obviously there is some overlap between different social media sites, but they have 10 mil+ eyes on them, which means 10 mil+ ppl trying to get their attention at any given point. they can't talk to everyone like they used to. when they were at one mil or two, sure. talking to ppl wasn't too hard, but now it's basically impossible. and on top of that they are busy so they don't have time to interact like they once did. it sucks, but that's just the truth.
i get why you felt the need to say all of this, and even tho i don't agree with you, i'm not trying to be hateful or mean. i'm just stating how i feel to your ask. please don't take any of this personally. i don't think you're dumb for the opinion you have, even if it's different from mine. we are allowed to have differing opinions, and we can just agree to disagree.
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how's it feel to a be a lesbian on mcr tumblr? I know a lot of trans ppl are fans and have those kinds of connections to their music. is it any different for you?
This is a real interesting question thank you for asking!!!
Hm. okay, so I'm not going to pretend being a white gay person in the mcr community is difficult, but i feel like the best way i could sum up any form of negative i might experience is "isolating"? It's been a journey, I guess. There's also positive.
Positive first: When it comes to their music, honestly i've never really had trouble relating to a perspective Gerard has taken in terms of identity. Gerard has mainly written about relationships with women, but also i never feel like i need to relate to a song 1 to 1 when it comes to singing about love and heartbreak if the song is good. plus i have always enjoyed using music as a means to empathize with different experiences rather than having it describe my own experience perfectly.
When it comes to being online -> as a teen i more or less identified as bisexual but even then i felt like i was missing something when i saw how people talked about the mcr members. I feel like i was just thinking "i'm not like other girls, I don't like mcr because i want to sleep with them". I would receive asks like "who would you rather fuck - gerard or frank" and i remember thinking "wait do people actually want to sleep with them..."
Nowadays it feels a little different. I don't know. It's complicated to explain my emotions towards this. Like, that confusion i feel when people seriously talk about wanting to fuck any of them is still there. But then there's Gerard. [full stop]. I am not saying I view Gerard as a woman or transfem (a label i feel like Gerard should give us before i feel comfortable seriously using it), but recently i've felt more of a connection to him and his identity. Personally, I have always kinda vibed with the idea that 'lesbian' is both a sexuality and a gender. I consider myself attracted to women and whatever fellow lesbians identify as, and have always kinda leaned towards more neutral-presenting people. Gerard is someone i have never met and probably never will meet in any meaningful capacity. To me, when looking at photos he is more or less an outer shell (which sounds insulting and dehumanizing but trust me it's not). I feel like any form of attraction i may feel towards him is with 25 different layers of mental filters and imaginary-versions-that-live-in-my-head. If I was in the room with him and was given the serious option to sleep with him, the answer would probably be no lol. BASICALLY I explained all that to say -> i feel almost like I have to watch what i say when making posts about how I think he looks hot or else i'm going to be accused of 'bad lesbian rep' or misgendering, and, idk. maybe it is breaking some kind of lesbian code. it's such an imaginary scenario that i don't really care.
But yeah, idk if any of that made sense. to be honest i don't really read a whole lot of theory or whatever surrounding the nuances of sexuality. I should also say all of this has been very theoretical LMFAO. I only really started going on dates last year and had my first kiss at 22. Was never really interested in hookups or anything like that. I am in a relationship now, but in general I have just not lived what people might consider the typical lesbian experience.
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Correct me if I'm wrong. In order for Godhand to form in the form in which it exists now, 5 Eclipses had to occur. 5 new angels: Void, Ubik, Konrad, Slan and Femto, with Void appearing after the fall of Gaiseric's empire, approximately 1000 years ago. Between 5 Eclipses 4 time intervals of 216 years. It turns out that 216 * 4 = 864 years should have passed from Void to Femto. But it is said that about 1000 years have passed (and the empire fell 1000 years ago). We add another interval of 216 years and get 1080 years. But then, it turns out, since the showdown between Void and Gaiseric, 5 time intervals between 6 Eclipses should have passed? I hope I expressed myself clearly. Thank you in advance! <3
Hmm, I see what you mean. lol I've never really thought about the math before. But honestly I've always theorized that Gaiseric was an incarnated godhand given the direct comparisons to Griffith and NGriff resurrecting his empire, and this fits that theory, since incarnated Godhands happen once every thousand years. So you'd get Gaiseric in year 0, who then incarnates at some point and builds a skull-themed empire, then Void in year 216, then (imo) Conrad in 432, then Ubik in 648, then Slan in 864, then Femto in 1080, which is close enough to a thousand.
My theory is basically that Gaiseric becomes godhand with the previous four, incarnates back to earth like Griffith did, builds his empire, then Void sacrifices it to ascend, Gaiseric turns on the Godhand, destroys or imprisons the other 4 but Void survives, and this is how the cycles go according to fate. Something has to get rid of the previous set, and I like the idea of the incarnate fifth doing it, with the noob surviving to start the process over.
GRANTED the flashback we saw throws a wrench into that theory, in the form of Gaiseric fucking a fairy queen, but a) It's strongly implied that the godhand are also the elemental spirits Schierke calls on (because Schierke states that those spirits are the same as the Holy See's 4 archangels, which are said by Mozgus to be the Godhand) so it makes sense to me that their relationship to Elfhelm is more complicated than just 'enemies,' and/or that this was the event that made them enemies, and b) Griffith also has emotions lol lbr so there's no actual reason Gaiseric couldn't have been in love with Danann's mom or whatever.
Also I've seen Miura mention the 216 years thing once, and it wasn't particularly enlightening:
Interviewer: I see. I have a few more questions on Berserk's mysteries, now. What was the "216 years" thing for the Eclipse about?
Miura: Ah, that's just when solar eclipses happen at the same place.
Interviewer: Oh, so that's what it means.
Miura: Yeah, and if you divide it by a thousand years you get exactly five people. Just happened to work out.
Interviewer: Interesting.
Given the pretty cavalier answer, it's also possible that we're just meant to round up to a thousand from 864, or it's a plot hole because Miura didn't think the math completely through. But I'm a fan of my theory lol so I've got my fingers crossed for that explanation.
And I mean even if Gaiseric isn't the incarnated godhand from a thousand years ago, there's no indication it's Void either, so the math could still work out, and the previous incarnated Godhand just isn't a big enough deal in the story to be an interesting foreshadowed reveal.
Thanks for the ask, hope this answer makes sense. I'm never quite sure when it comes to math lol.
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the trials and tribulations of learning to love
by: snarkymuch
Word Count: 6906
Buck/Eddie, kink exploration, getting together, first times, daddy kink, Dom/sub undertones, Eddie is very much the dom type, minor injuries, awkward first times, two previously straight boys figuring out they are gay for each other, blow jobs, fluff and humor, smut, soft idiots in love
Read on AO3
Summary:
Eddie had doubted many things through the years, from his ability to be a parent to providing for his family and being a good husband—but his sexuality? He'd never had a reason to doubt that.
Of course, that was before he met one Evan "Buck" Buckley.
From the very start, something about that goofy shit had a weird feeling stirring in him—that took him far too long to recognize as attraction, all things considered.
But, again, Eddie wasn't gay—or he hadn't considered himself bi-sexual or anything else—so he hadn't pieced the clues together. Not until fate intervened and dropped a ceiling on them, which gave him some up close and personal time with his best friend, and a few hours to consider things—like the thing that being pressed against Buck had caused in his pants.
—Or—
The awkward first times of two idiots in love. Blood is involved far more often than it should be, but they figure it out—eventually.
Eddie had doubted many things through the years, from his ability to be a parent to providing for his family and being a good husband—but his sexuality? He'd never had a reason to doubt that.
Of course, that was before he met one Evan "Buck" Buckley.
From the very start, something about that goofy shit had a weird feeling stirring in him—that took him far too long to recognize as attraction, all things considered.
But, again, Eddie wasn't gay—or he hadn't considered himself bi-sexual or anything else—so he hadn't pieced the clues together. Not until fate intervened and dropped a ceiling on them, which gave him some up close and personal time with his best friend, and a few hours to consider things—like the thing that being pressed against Buck caused in his pants.
Thank god the turnout gear was thick and able to hide his problem—as they'd ended up tangled in the rubble, Eddie lying over the top of Buck. He swore Buck had somehow realized something, like a sexual Jedi, noticing something off in the force.
So the ride back to the station had been a little weird, especially with Buck tipping his head and squinting at him, wrinkling his nose—thinking something.
Eddie had just dipped his chin in a nod, gave a tight smile, then quickly redirected his attention to the window for the rest of the ride, chastising himself for complicating the one relationship that had always been perfect.
Though, as they pulled into the station, and he'd glanced at Buck as he hopped out with a wink and quick, "I'm hitting the shower," something occurred to Eddie that maybe complicated wasn't bad—because possibly Buck might not be as straight as he seemed?
And deep down, Eddie could admit he was selfish. So yeah, he'd followed him with a silent prayer that all this shit wouldn't hit the fan.
Buck had mostly stripped by the time he reached him, and fuck, if that sight hadn't had him already getting hard. The crazy part was that Eddie had seen many naked and half-naked men, but Buck was the only one to pull this reaction from him.
He had nearly snorted when the term Buck-sexual entered his mind.
And Buck had stood there, pants slipping off his hips, head tilted just a hair, squinting those stupidly blue eyes and smiling with just one corner of his mouth. "Hey, Eds—need something?"
A harsh swallow, the drag of his teeth over his lower lip, then, "Uh—" He'd choked as Buck slipped off the rest of his clothes, and Eddie had not meant to look, but his eyes still briefly flicked to his dick—which wasn't hard, but also not completely soft. Though the FireHose Buck thing had suddenly started to make more sense.
Not a complete pervert, he'd managed to look away—charming tiles—then cleared his throat. "So, uh." A quick glance to make sure that no one else had been around. "Can I ask you a personal question?"
"Uh, yeah, sure. Ask away."
"Have you—uh—would you ever… I mean, never mind. I just… We already hang out all the time, Christopher loves you, and, um, would you like to take things a little more—I mean, not just friends, more, uh, like partners? Boyfriends?" He'd winced then dared to check Buck's reaction.
Buck's mouth had fallen open, head tilting to the side, then finally, a smile slid into place before he pursed his lips. "You're serious?"
"Um, yeah."
"Then, okay—yeah, alright. Boyfriends, huh? So we'd"—then he had motioned from his dick to Eddie and back—"be doing things—together?" Then he wrinkled his nose before adding, "I haven't, uh, been with a guy before, so… I mean, if we do this, I might be off my game. I mean, if you're used to dating guys who know how to do all the things."
"Oh, I've not been with any, uh, other men before. This is purely a Buck-sexual thing—I think."
A grin had spread over Buck's face. "Well, in that case—we can figure this shit out together. And for the record. This is a purely Eddie-sexual thing for me, too."
And that had been the start, and now because luck had been in their favor, they had secured over a week off together pretty soon after that conversation.
<hr>
They stepped onto the sidewalk, the door to the candle shop chiming as it closed behind them.
Candles weren't something he'd expected Buck to like, but the man had informed him about the benefits of certain scents and their calming effects—along with hinting at the ambiance they could supply.
Buck was such a unique mix of absolute disaster and self-care specialist.
And pretty things—nice smelling things—seemed to go hand in hand with him.
All in all, dating Buck hadn't been as shocking as he'd thought, considering neither of them had ever dated a guy before—and really, it wasn't too different than being with a woman.
Except for, you know, where it wasn't similar at all.
He'd never blended the concepts of masculinity and intimacy quite like this before—or had to reconcile being with someone who had the strength to Dutch oven him in bed like an asshole who'd just eaten too many burritos with someone he also wanted to fuck.
And it wasn't a bad thing—just different.
But they still had a lot to figure out. Like the sex—as somehow this had both of them reliving their teen years. False starts happened right and left—along with many missteps in between.
They had plenty of enthusiasm and desire—it was more about figuring out the approach. They'd get there, though. Or he really hoped.
Thankfully, blue balls weren't deadly.
Because so far, all they'd managed had been some hot and heavy kissing—which had been everything and nothing like he'd imagined.
Like how soft and plump his lips had felt on the first hesitant press—and fuck, the immediate, needy noises the nip to his lower one had dragged from his throat after.
The sounds had nearly kicked Eddie's knees out from under him—and damn, he'd never expected to be so turned on by something in his life. There was just something about the roughness, the rasp, and the tone that only a man could have—and knowing he'd caused it.
The feeling had been heady and had his dick painfully hard.
Though it had yet to be a complete success. It had ended in blood and Buck sporting a decidedly fat lip for two days.
"Fuck," Buck had sworn, pulling back with his hand over his mouth. "That's—" Then he checked his fingers. "Shit, that's blood."
And, of course, by that time, his dick had already begun to flag, as he had no interest in anything but checking on Buck, mortified that he'd somehow bashed his lip. It hadn't occurred to him that they were both used to taking charge and probably hadn't to Buck either, so neither had backed off.
After catching Buck's chin, he'd turned it into the dim light of the kitchen. "That's gonna swell. It needs ice."
And Buck had just given him a dopey grin, fingertips dabbing at the blood on his lip. "Well, a first for me—but practice makes perfect, right? So we'll just have to try again."
He'd huffed, though with a smile. "Let's wait until the bleeding stops first."
And after that, things had been better—but still clumsy.
If Eddie were honest, thinking of how things could go wrong terrified him. Because he happened to like his dick, and the idea of something—not fun—painful—happening to it made him cringe.
They just needed to be careful—give and take—and hopefully, they'd make this work, as both seemed accustomed to taking the lead in everything.
And a perfect example of that had already started playing out again as they walked back to Eddie's truck, the heavy glass jarred candles clunking together in the bag next to Buck's leg, heading toward a narrowing in the sidewalk, where a construction barrier had a section blocked off.
He listened to Buck tell him facts about some rare bird that lived in Guatemala, loving how excited he always got to share little things like that. And if anyone had anything to say about the dopey smile on Eddie's face—well, they could fuck all the way off.
So lost in Buck's animated descriptions, he hadn't noticed they'd reached the construction, or that he'd automatically begun to shift his partner away from the street side and danger—or that Buck had also instinctively started to do the same.
Of course, until the moment they'd become a tangle of limbs, trying to keep the other from hitting the concrete.
Eddie wrinkled his nose, squinting at the hazy sun behind Buck as he straightened. "Uh, sorry, years of putting my girlfriends on the inside."
Buck ducked his head with a breathy huff, the corner of his mouth tugging upward as he shrugged. "Yeah, a bit of a learning curve, huh?" And then, with his free hand, he ruffled his short hair, blushing. "So, uh, you want the street side—because I'm cool with that. It's fine—like, I get it, and, um, don't actually mind?" A wince, then a twist of his mouth.
"You sure? I don't want to step on your toes—figuratively or otherwise."
Buck did a far too cute nose scrunch, then shook his head. "Nah, I don't mind—it's cool."
"Okay, good."
"Great."
But neither moved for a second until someone trying to squeeze by shouted over their shoulder, "Get a fucking room."
And instantly, he moved to go after the guy, but Buck grabbed him.
"Chill, it's not worth it," Buck said. "Come on, I'm hungry and don't really want to bail you out."
Eddie pursed his lips, frowned, then nodded. He ruffled his hair, frustrated. "Yeah, you're right. Let's get out of here."
<hr>
Buck had started dinner, banning him from the room, wanting to surprise him. Christopher was at a friend's house, so Eddie settled in the living room.
So double checking that no one could sneak up on him, even though he was alone, he punched some shit into Google—because research could mean the difference between things ending in more blood and pain or a very happy ending instead.
And it wasn't like this was all new to him. A few of the women he'd been with had enjoyed anal—and he'd definitely liked it, too.
Though when it came to receiving it… he wasn't opposed, just unsure.
Because, of course, like any other curious person, he'd felt around down there before, pushed a dry finger in just a bit, cringed at the burn, but not really exploring beyond his first knuckle. From what he'd read, he'd missed out on some things, so maybe it might be worth exploring more someday.
Though for him, being on top felt more appealing at the moment, he was willing to give bottoming a shot if Buck wasn't interested in being one—or they could maybe just do other things?
And all this just emphasized how more research—aka porn watching—would help.
That way, he could iron out some of the wrinkles in his plans—get some visuals on shit like the placement of another set of dick and balls during activities. Not the type of logistics he'd needed to consider before with women.
The last thing either needed was to catch a knee to the sack.
So he'd made it his mission to watch as much gay porn as possible, hoping to prove that an old dog could still learn new tricks.
And all the possibilities were exciting and nerve-wracking—and sometimes overwhelming—reminding him how much he didn't know.
He felt like a teenager again, fumbling to reach second base, even though he didn't even know what that would be with a guy.
It didn't seem like they would be the same, though with a wrinkle of his nose, he wondered if fingering an asshole counted the same as fingering a chick? He didn't think so, but maybe it was? Just seemed more personal, somehow, though he didn't know why.
Focusing his thoughts back on the videos, Eddie double-checked the volume, making sure it was all the way down, then played the video he'd found.
He quickly grabbed one of the throw pillows to hide his crotch, just in case someone walked in, as his dick was already getting hard.
Because on the screen, the camera had begun to pan up the length of a muscular man, similar to Buck in build, who had red garters connected to matching lace panties that snuggly held his junk.
Not something he'd ever thought he'd find attractive, though it wasn't so much the man on the screen he found that way. It was imagining that it was Buck wearing those things instead.
It felt like he'd been waiting a lifetime to understand, but now he got it. The shape of his sexuality had always taken the form of Buck—and it had just taken meeting him and overcoming his fears to realize it.
He ground his hips into the pillow, mouth dry, as he imagined doing the things in the video with Buck, licking over the lace against his straining cock, how soft and damp the fabric would get.
The noises he could get Buck to make…
And god, dragging the panties down, freeing him, and tasting a dick for the first time—Buck gasping and knotting his fingers in his hair.
Or Buck on his knees for him…
Then maybe sliding a finger into the space behind his balls, rubbing the soft skin there, then pressing over his hole—
Eddie bowed, pressing the hand with his phone to his mouth to stifle his cries as he came—like a fucking teenager—in his pants. His other hand pressed the pillow to his crotch for a moment longer.
Panting, he tried to collect himself, closing the video that still played on the screen. Shit. He hadn't done something like that since he was sixteen.
Then, startling him, a worried-sounding Buck said, "Hey, you good?"
He could feel himself blushing to his ears as he adjusted the pillow on his lap, patting it a few times. "Yeah, yeah, um, great—totally fine."
Buck narrowed his eyes. "You sure? You're acting weird."
He shook his head. "Nope, nothing weird. Just, uh, watching some TV—Jeopardy is on."
"You hate that show." Then Buck glanced at it. "The TV isn't on, Eds."
He pursed his lips and crinkled his nose. "Uh, um, huh?"
Buck hummed—not able to hide all the hurt. "So, are we lying to each other or something now? I mean, I thought it might happen, but I kinda hoped we'd last longer."
Instinctively, Eddie got to his feet, pillow falling to the floor as he approached. "It wasn't anything like you might be thinking. I was—"
Buck's eyes suddenly widened, head tilting a bit like a puppy, an open smile spreading on his lips. "Oh-ho-ho… you were—" Then proceeded to gesture like he was jerking off.
Eddie sucked in a breath, held it, then, probably resembling a tomato at this point, just winced and said, "Uh, sorta—not quite, though."
Buck raised a brow. "How do you sorta end up with come on your pants when you're sitting alone unless you're jerking yourself off?" And at the duck of Eddie's head, the vague wave at his pants, something must have clicked for him. "Oh shit, dude. Did you fucking come in your pants?" And then he busted out laughing, which eventually tapered off into something more like giggles as he came to peck a kiss on Eddie's lips. "Don't look so upset—it happens."
He scowled. "To you?"
Another laugh. "Uh, no, but it could—totally could. No judgment, babe." Then Buck tried to give another peck to his nose, but he swatted him off. "Ah, come on. You don't need to be embarrassed—but I'm curious what had you so worked up."
He shook his head, waggling a finger. "Uh, nope."
"Don't be like that—you know I wouldn't kink shame. Come on, tell me. Were you thinking about me—us? You know, I've been thinking about some things, too."
Lifting his chin, he challenged. "Okay, okay, yeah, tit-for-tat, I tell you, but you need to tell me something, too."
Buck shrugged. "Alright, sounds fair. I'll even go first."
Eddie tipped his head, raising a brow in challenge when he remained silent.
"Fine," Buck said, then cleared his throat. "So, uh, I kinda like the idea of you—you know, being all caveman or just all—I don't know—masculine with me?"
"Caveman?"
"Hey, don't kink shame, man, but yeah. I've always, uh, been the guy, and I…." He ducked his head, rubbing the back of his neck, before daring to look up again. "I guess I sorta like the idea of not being in charge for a change—letting you push me around a little—maybe getting to be a bit, uh, girly, or maybe soft?"
And now Buck's cheeks had turned the prettiest shade of pink, and it was Eddie's new favorite color.
Feeling more confident, he licked his lips, dragged his teeth over the bottom one, considering, then said, "Well, that, uh, makes things a bit easier—I think. Because, um, I was picturing you in a pair of pretty little panties, being all soft and girly for me."
Buck looked up through his lashes. "Huh, so, panties… that could be good, I think. Yeah, that's something I'd be interested in trying, if you are."
"Wow, look at us, communicating—okay, so, that's a thing." Then he stepped closer, hooking his index finger under Buck's chin. "I think I could enjoy bossing you around."
Buck smirked. "I might not behave."
"Oh, I'm both patient and creative—I'll get you to listen."
"Challenge accepted," Buck said, then grabbed him by the front of his jeans, yanking him forward so their faces nearly collided. Then like a fucking deviant, licked his cheek before cackling and bolting from the room.
<hr>
They'd ended up in a heap on the bed, out of breath—insane for as in shape as they were—and it had been going well. Sucking marks onto Buck's neck, just beneath his ear, getting him squirming and whining in need.
Then Eddie had pressed his wrists to the headboard as he pulled Buck's lower lip into his mouth, dragging his teeth over it before releasing it.
"Stay or else," he'd warned, then let go to ruck up his shirt.
And any awkwardness he'd imagined at sucking at a man's tit melted when Buck arched and whined even louder, making it impossible not to take his nipple between his teeth and roll it some more.
So perfect—or so he'd thought—until he'd gone to get Buck's dick free, terrified and vibrating at the prospect of touching it, only for the zipper to get stuck, forcing him to yank it up and back down a few times—only to be stopped by a sudden howl of pain.
He immediately stopped, hands hovering and unsure as Buck made some very un-sexy noises, curling forward and covering his crotch as he did.
"Shit, shit—fuck!" Buck had his hand on his zipper, neck corded, and his head thrown back. "Ow—fuck—fuck—fuck!"
Eddie turned another light on, boner forgotten and tried to calm him down and get a look at whatever had just happened, though he already suspected.
"Just let me see."
Buck's eyes snapped to him. "What—fuck that! No, nope, no more touching."
Eddie winced sympathetically as Buck got the zipper down, eyes tearing a bit. It looked painful, and he itched to do something. And even though this wasn't how he envisioned touching Buck's dick for the first time, he couldn't shake his worry until he checked him over.
Placing a hand on Buck's knee, he ducked into the man's line of vision, who still had his hands covering his crotch. "Hey, I know this isn't ideal, but, uh, would you please let me take a look?"
With a shake of the head, mouth tightening at the corners, Buck sighed, a hand moving to drag over his mouth. "Eds, seriously, man—this isn't fucking weird to you? Wouldn't it—I don't know—like ruin things? I sorta pictured the first time you played with my dick being a hell of a lot sexier."
He huffed, eyebrows lifting, then tipped his head toward Buck, motioning to his junk. "Eh, I think that ship has sailed—and it's not weird. I mean, I don't think? Even if we were only friends still, I'd be willing to take a look."
Buck snorted, then hissed when he tried to shimmy higher against the headboard. "Oh my god. That is some of the gayest shit I've ever heard you say—and that's coming from the guy who's been swimming in De'Nile with you."
After a bit of blushing, Buck groaned something about regrets and needing a beer, then hooked his thumbs under the waistband of his pants and boxer briefs, dragging them down to mid-thigh.
He'd blame it on nerves, but he just stared and blinked for a moment.
"Well, are you gonna just sit there drooling or—?"
That snapped him out of his stupor. So with an eye roll and shove to Buck's knee, he scooted closer, swallowing at the sight of him.
The speckled blood blisters on Buck's shaft kept any indecent thoughts out of his mind.
"Shit, that's gotta hurt."
The look on Buck's face screamed "no shit," loud enough to make Eddie wince.
"Sorry, yeah, stating the obvious probably isn't helping." He ducked to take a better look, thankful the skin hadn't broken, though no doubt it would be irritated for a few days. A squirm from Buck had him glancing up, and he'd be a liar if he said the embarrassed fluster coloring his face didn't have him chubbing up like a kid with his first Playboy.
He cleared his throat. "Uh, so, the skin doesn't look broken, but there's not much to do about it—other than not letting me get too close. Seems I have a tendency for maiming you."
"Eh, learning curve, right?" And at that, Buck glanced down, taking his dick in hand and looking for himself. Then, a little disgruntled noise later, he dropped his hands awkwardly at his sides. "Can't say this has happened since I was like in single digits—nothing like getting to be embarrassed in new ways."
"Eh, I yanked it, and I should've known—I've got a dick, too."
Buck still had a pretty intense dusting of pink to his cheeks, obviously not over this, though Eddie did notice his tongue when it peeked out, then swept over his lower lip. "So, uh, do you want to, uh, try again? Maybe just stick with some less dangerous activities—uh, handjobs or something?"
"You can't be serious."
"Actually, I mean, yeah?" Then he motioned to Eddie's pants. "Come on—I can't be the only half-naked one. It's totally unfair."
Fuck—his skin prickled, heating up at the thought. His dick had apparently decided its agreement because he had to suddenly adjust himself. "Buck—it's not gonna feel great. It's gonna hurt—probably like a bitch—if I, uh, do that—I mean, jerk you off."
A little twitching wrinkle of his nose, then Buck took himself in hand, seeming to prove a point. And unsurprisingly, he hissed at first before continuing to pump his fist, teeth sinking into his lower lip as his dick got back into the game. "Little pain isn't so bad."
"Buck." It came out like a warning, possibly a challenge. A bit exasperated. "You might regret it later when it's chafed to fuck over those blisters."
Buck shrugged. "That's for Later-me to deal with. Present-me wants you to hurry up and touch me." Then the corner of his mouth tugged up. "Come on, Daddy. We both know you want to—isn't that right, Daddy?”
And the mischievous glint in Buck's eye, the way he dragged out calling him daddy, something he'd jokingly done before when he'd been trying to rile him up in front of everyone, had Eddie wanting to pin him to the bed.
He watched Buck's hand work over his cock, just barely coming up to the head with a slight twist on the upstroke, and he tried to commit the little movements to memory, as he wanted to make this good if they were doing this.
It felt like standing on the edge of a cliff—or the rush before running into a fire. His nerves were live wires as he curled his hand around Buck's, fixated in every way on each movement, drinking in every sensation.
And already, just from this, Buck's breaths had started to turn into throaty groans—the occasional plea.
Each little sound made him hungry.
And when he saw the swelling bead of pre-come in his slit, the only thing on his mind was tasting it, wondering what other noises he could pull from Buck—how much more would it take to tip him over the edge?
So pressing a hand against the trail of hair below Buck's navel to hold him in place, Eddie swallowed, then grabbed Buck's hand by the wrist, pulling it off his dick and letting it fall neglected toward his belly.
"Wha—Eds, what the fuck?"
He just shushed him. "Just—easy, okay? Daddy's got you—that's what you wanted, right? So just be good for me, okay? My good boy. Just stay still—I want to try something. I want a taste."
"Okay, yeah, fuck—fuck. You're gonna kill me," Buck whined, fingers twisting in the comforter.
He swallowed, licked his dry lips, then curled his hand around Buck's cock again, mindful of the injury but not entirely avoiding it.
The other man hissed a plea, begging for him not to stop as he tried to fuck into his fist, but Eddie just tightened his grip in a warning, knowing it had to hurt. "Uh-uh, that's not being very good. I know you can behave better than that."
A whine, then Buck nodded quickly, teeth digging into his lip. A fine sheen of sweat covered him. "Fuck, yes—I'm sorry, Eds."
"Sorry, what—who?"
Confused, dazed eyes met his. "Um, uh, sir?"
Eddie let his thumb press into the sore spot a bit, earning a throaty whine and his hips lifting off the bed. "Close—come on. You know what I want." And then he stilled his hand, making him squirm.
“Eddie…”
He chuckled. "Not so funny now, huh? Come on, you started this game. I'm just following through."
"Fine! Fuck, yeah—okay, okay, Daddy. Shit, just please—I'm not gonna last here. This is a lot, Ed—Daddy—shit, please."
And fuck, he'd never considered things going this way, but he wasn't about to start kink-shaming himself.
It felt different than when a woman called him daddy, the few times they had, which hadn't done much for him, but Buck saying it? Not even close to the same feeling—hearing it from Buck had him willing to do anything to get him to repeat it.
Eddie couldn't decide what part he liked watching best, his hand as he worked over Buck's cock or the expression on the man's face as he did.
"Shit, Buck—fuck, just look at you," he breathed. "This isn't—I don't even know what we're doing—what I'm doing—but I don't want to stop, ever. You're fucking beautiful like this."
An obscene noise escaped Buck, then his voice trembled as he said, "Flattery will get you everywhere, and uh, no complaints from me." Then he sucked a harsh breath when Eddie twisted his hand before continuing in broken pants, "Fuck, that—uh, I like that—definitely okay with some pain. I think we can safely check that box."
"Yeah?" Eddie asked, pressing into the reddened sore spot. "Is that so?"
Buck just hummed, his head thrown back. "Yep, new kink unlocked—lots of new kinks, actually. But, um, if you keep doing that, I'm really not gonna last—it's just too fucking good. Even just your hand—fuck! Never had better."
"Hang in there, just a little longer. Daddy wants to try something." The epithet still felt a little strange on his tongue, but the way it made Buck lose it more and more each time made it worth getting used to.
So heart racing, muscles trembling, he ducked his head slowly, getting close enough to flick his tongue over the head of his cock but avoiding the slit.
And from how Buck tensed and bowed, it wondered if he'd snap right then and there while Eddie wasn't far behind, and his dick still hadn't been touched.
The growing bead of come bubbling from his slit tempted him—and sure, he'd accidentally tasted a bit of his own come in the past; he'd kissed partners who'd just swallowed his load—so he had some idea what it might taste like—but this seemed different.
And it was—for the first time, he was up close and personal with a dick that wasn't his own.
And everything about that felt so intimate and erotic in a way nothing ever had before—it felt like achieving some new level of arousal he hadn't known existed.
Holding a dick in his hand, tasting it, challenged things inside him—it made him feel heady with power, having control over someone that physically could challenge him in every way.
And the trust Buck seemed to instinctively have in him felt terrifying and humbling and thrilling all at the same time.
Stroking Buck a few more times, a little lotion or lube would smooth things out, take the bite out of it, but again, he thought Buck might be getting off on the way his dry hand dragged and rubbed the tender skin. He'd already confirmed the pain felt good.
And the possibility of Buck being a bit of a masochist—complimented the fantasies he'd started to have involving the man. Things he'd never dared mention to previous partners—maybe that had some profound reason he couldn’t quite grasp, something to do with them being women and him not feeling uncomfortable seeing them cry or beg.
Part of the allure for him was dominating an already dominant or imposing person, not that a woman couldn't be those things, but there was something about it being a man—and not just any man—but Buck—that really did it for him.
He liked to imagine him trussed up, squirming as he kept dragging things out and denying him—bending him over a bench and warming his ass until it was hot and swollen, blossoming deep reds and purples. Maybe he'd be wearing thin lace panties, too.
All that strength and muscle bending to his will—gifting him with submission.
And damn, he'd bet anything that Buck would cry so pretty.
He shifted just a bit so his jeans pressed and squeezed him enough to relieve some of his need, even if a bit painful. Of course, it wasn't enough, but he wanted to take care of Buck right now. He could wait, though he knew it would be over embarrassingly fast when the time came.
He just hoped not to come in his pants again.
Slowing his strokes to concentrate, he pressed the flat of his tongue over his slit, the foreign fluid tingling his tongue, bitter and tangy but not exactly bad. Not when it belonged to Buck—his lips twitched toward a smile when his mind whispered about this being his gay communion.
He dragged his tongue over it, aware of Buck's not-so-subtle tumble into desperation, the pre-come smearing over his taste buds, then lifting away after, glancing over to catch a glimpse of Buck breaking apart. And damn, it was so pretty.
His skin had become flushed and sweaty, and his eyes consumed by need, so little blue even showing, and he had to have been chewing and biting his lips because they were so swollen and red, so fucking plump. He panted through his mouth, tongue just visible near his bottom teeth.
Jesus, that mouth—those lips stretched around his cock would look so pretty. Undoubtedly, he'd watch through those ridiculous lashes, the embodiment of soft and submissive.
Then a whined, "Please, Daddy," pulled him from his thoughts.
And Buck sounded so fucking desperate that it had Eddie taking pity on him in a heartbeat, calling him so, so good for waiting, then lapping over the head of his dick again, the flavor of his come so much fainter and missing the intensity of his first taste.
So ignoring his own aching needs, he doubled down on pumping Buck's cock, making messy work of sucking him off—wanting to watch his seams tear and fray and needing to be the one who did it.
His hand got wet with spit, and he no longer tried to hold Buck from fucking into his fist. The boy was just too far gone.
His gaze flicked to where he could see one of Buck's hands twisting the blanket in a white-knuckled grip. Then, making him pop off momentarily, his other hand had snaked beside him and begun clawing at his forearm.
"I got you," he said, threading his fingers with Buck's, giving him something to hold onto. "Don't hold back—come for me, okay?"
He assumed the chin dip had been some form of a nod.
So with one hand holding his and the other still stroking him, he went back to exploring the feel and taste of his cock with his mouth, adding and subtracting little things to see what made him react the most—doing the things he'd enjoyed himself.
Eternity might have been perfect—though, to be realistic, he could see how this could wear you out—but he didn't get very long, as Buck had started making short, tight gasps and gulps for air, the noises coming less often as if concentrating.
But really clueing him in that Buck was about to snap was the near pulse he could feel in the man's dick that had suddenly turned to steel.
So wanting just a little more—curious, too—he took a couple inches in his mouth and suckled as he pumped his fist while applying a tiny bit of pressure to that sore spot from the zipper.
And that did it.
He didn't get more warning than Buck digging his fingers into his arm, his body arching off the bed, a guttural noise leaving his throat before hot, thick fluid shot into his mouth, deeper than he'd anticipated it would. It nearly hit the back of his throat.
And the flavor was a lot—even though it was Buck—and it felt strange, pooled on his tongue where he held it, unsure he could swallow as more continued to leak in weakening spurts from his softening dick.
He knew that spitting was an option, but that felt weird, like taking the easy way out—and there was something he couldn't name about doing it. Felt like backing down from a challenge, and his mama didn't raise no quitter.
So he pulled off with a wet sound, the overstimulation causing Buck to startle, then swallowed the majority, leaving a little in his mouth, allowing the primal feeling to spread and sink into his bones.
He swallowed again, but before it could disappear entirely, he crawled up to Buck, gripped him beneath the chin, tilted his head, then kissed him—near brutal with the force—rutting against any part of him he could.
And it only made him harder to know that Buck was tasting himself right now.
Buck clawed at his shoulders, seeming just as hungry as him, then he pulled back just enough to pant, "Eddie—Eds—just let me—"
Too hungry, Eddie interrupted with another assault to his mouth, rough nips over his jaw, down to his ear. Again, it had Buck going wild under him.
But then, a hand shoved against his chest, making him growl in protest, only to finally pull back after another bite to the sandpaper stubble right under his jaw.
"Buck," he groaned, dropping his forehead to rest on his jawline before lifting to search his face for why they’d stopped.
Buck's lips were so fucking cherry red and plump, wet with spit. His pupils were blown, looking so hungry as he rasped, "I wanna suck you off—please." Then a sweep of his tongue over his lips. "Please, Daddy."
And that dragged some primal noise from his chest, his dick straining to be free now. "Fuck, yeah, you'd like that." He sat back on his heels and shifted so that he knelt near Buck's head. He didn't hesitate to pull himself out, giving his dick a stroke. And with his other hand, he swept his thumb over those soft lips again. "That fucking mouth."
Buck smirked, then adjusted his position, so he had a better angle, and to help, Eddie grabbed the headboard and helped guide his head closer, teeth digging into his lower lip as he did.
And then, after the tiniest consideration, a little pause, and gnawing on his lip, Buck lapped the head of his dick, made an adorable face, nose wrinkling at the taste of his pre-come, then dove straight into it like he did everything else in life.
Because Buck never backed down from a challenge—and thank Jesus, God, and all the saints for that—as the boy might be gagging a bit, drooling and slurping, catching teeth against tender skin on the downstrokes, but fuck, if it wasn't the best thing Eddie had ever felt.
Those lips looked so pretty stretched around him, and shit, when Bucky's teary eyes looked up through his lashes? Well, Eddie would have to apologize later for how his hips jerked, and he caused Buck to sputter and choke a bit.
Buck pulled off, looking like the prettiest mess he'd ever seen—fucking wrecked. "I can see you worrying—but don't, okay? I mean, as long as it's good for you—just use me. I like it rough."
Eddie wiped his thumb over the wet tear tracks, cursing. "Fuck, yeah—then you know what to do."
And then Buck was sucking him again, and Eddie didn't restrain himself as much, gripping his head and holding it so he could fuck carefully toward his throat a bit, feeling the give as he reached it. Each time, Buck gagged a little, more drool pouring down his chin, fresh tears on his cheeks.
Buck had so much strength coiled in him, but he gave this to Eddie. And even though Buck said he liked it rough, he already knew that worshipping Buck would be his new act of service.
Though right now, Buck was doing a great job at breaking him apart—despite all appearances to the contrary.
And Buck must have noticed he was close and started to double down. Every muscle in Eddie's body felt like it seized, everything building inside him suddenly reaching a razor's edge before it split him open.
He cried out as he came, not words—just some animalistic noise. And Buck took him as deep as he could when he did, swallowing without hesitation, letting him go only after a shiver of overstimulation passed through him.
He rocked back on his heels, trying to catch up with reality, feeling disjointed.
"Wow," he said, then glanced at Buck, who looked wrecked in the best way—or so he hoped. He touched his face. "So, uh, are we good? Was it too much?"
Buck half-snorted, then lifted an arm, making a grabby hand. "Not even close—but shit, that was—I don't know. It wasn't like anything I've had before. That's for sure. But it was definitely a good thing—ten out of ten, would recommend."
"Recommend, huh? You planning on sharing me, Buckley?"
Buck grabbed his wrist, then gave a hard yank—a potent reminder that if he'd wanted to, he could make a good show of kicking his ass. "Come here and cuddle me, asshole. Ever heard of aftercare?"
Eddie gave a breathy chuckle, settling beside him and letting Buck get comfortable in his octopus impression against his chest and side. "I've heard a bit—and you know I'd always take care of you. Before, after, and in the middle. Whatever you need."
A deep sigh, then Buck rubbed his blossoming five o'clock shadow against his bare chest. "Well, right now, I want to be cuddled and called a good boy—that was fucking hot, by the way—and then maybe some beer or something. My mouth tastes like jizz."
He chuckled, scratching his nails over Buck's scalp. "Yeah, that'll take some getting used to, for sure. I can still taste it, too. But damn, Buck, you were so good for me—such a good boy. Fuck, anything you want, ever—you've got me."
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Girl, chapter ten was so good. All the characters and alliances you added fit so perfectly into the first episode of the show I don’t know how you do it with this many characters. You always create such a immersive atmosphere with all the descriptions of the places, dragons, the food ect.
I love the Royce family so much and I was so glad we saw them together without Daemon throughout this chapter.
Rhaenyra being like “you’re mine, bitch” to Yorick was so fun to read, I think all things considered they have a pretty normal cousin relationship (you know, apart from Nyra feeling like she’s entitled to have him as her male wife).
I felt so much for all the kids in this chapter, I think by creating Yoricks character and making him the age that he is you really managed to draw attention to how fucked up all the relationships in the show are. ( I think the fact that there are literally no male characters that are around the same age as Rhaenyra and Alicent in hotd plays a massive part in how easily the insane age gaps and abusive grooming relationships get overlooked, and even excepted amongst the fans because if you look at the show, there really aren’t any other options for the young female characters that we see . I mean like of course there are, but they are never shown to us and that’s kind of why most people overlook the toxicity of the relationships they form with the older guys in the show)  but by adding in Yorrick, the son of Daemon, Viserys’ younger brother and making him the same age as Rhaenyra and Alicent and Leana really shows how messed up those are.
I think it’s so cool how Rhea and Otto and all the other andal lords and lady’s are really good at managing shit and thinking up alliances and just you know using logic and their brains and then there’s like the legendary Targaryens that keep throwing tantrums and just doing whatever.
Yorick finally stepping up to Daemon without holding back was to die for, I loved that part so much.
And Criston being Otto’s emotional support guard was absolutely hilarious
“I apologize that did not go how you expected, my Lord Hand.”
“It is not your fault, Ser Criston. I just…have to try something else.”
*slaps Criston's helmet like the hood of a used car* This baby can fit so much Hightower emotional support in it!
I'm so jazzed you liked this chapter, it was so fun to write! Ella had her time to shine with the Royces in Family Ties, so Yorick needed that too! I want the relationships to be well established & thought out so it hurts more when everyone is sad about various stuff so that it makes sense as I string us along to various points within the show. Like, somebody has to do that.
And yeah. The age of the twins (and Aemon for that matter, because he's only 3 years older than Aegon) really is making so many of the relationships feel even squickier. I initially chose the age I did for the twins because, like, that logically feels like when Daemon & Rhea would have had kids, but it has wound up serving other purposes as well (giving the Velaryon sibs friends who aren't each other, showing how glaring the age gaps are/that these men are all old enough to be their wives' dad, explore early season stuff).
Yorick & Rhaenyra's relationship, in my head at least, is gonna get so fun & I had such a good time laying those foundations. I only hope I can keep to what's in my brain for how complicated that shit is gonna be (less complicated than the au where Rhea didn't panic & betroth him to Shireen, but still complicated). Tbh, all the relationships are gonna get complicated. But I'm looking forward to it because I love having a ridiculous amount of moving parts like large, interconnected casts & bickering nobles. (Especially bickering nobles who have to use their brains instead of throwing toddler tantrums backed up by sentient nukes--not that that can't be fun on occasion--, the contrast is absolutely delightful)
Finally: the confrontation. I was sooooooo hyped for that. Unbelievably, mega hyped. It is setup for the good good later. Punches are getting thrown (hopefully multiple times, I want to fit in at least 2 fights. Somebody besides Yorbert needs to beat that man's ass). My Son Boy has so much pent up anger & frustration (& sure he's making Cannibal better, but that dragon is also making him worse a little bit), that he needed to finally let it out. Thank God he likes picking the correct targets for his pointed "lmao, no one respects you" missiles.
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self indulgent babbling about my fucking oc and jordan as i try to figure some stuff out
Sick as fuck thinkin about Lettie Stuff. Having her grow up at the temple as a weird seemingly divine being was a super fun decision but also means I have to extrapolate and just straight up invent a Lot of things jbhuoihkbhujhkn Thus my tired mulling over how I see Jordan. I still don't really know, but I'm slowly putting an idea together. While I'm still struggling to make out the exact feelings on both ends (Mostly Jordan's. Hard to read motherfucker) I do think Lettie looks up to them a lot. Just. ... Not in the same way that everyone else does lmao. More thoughts under cut
He's aspirational in her eyes less as a figure of purity and more as an example of Incredible Terrifying Charisma and Influence over people. She really did learn from the best!!! (They even both have that weird thing where their smiles don't tend to reach their eyes, which wasn't intentional on my part at all but is weirdly cute in an unnerving way lmao. Family (????) Resemblance if you will.)
Jordan was probably like. An initiate or more probably (for my convenience) Freshly Cloistered when Bailey threw the lamb brat at the temple I'd think???? But based on their vibes maybe weirdly influential even then. Somehow seems a natural person to throw a magic seemingly heavensent sheep thing at. ... Plus, they just strike me as someone that has a Way with kids. Like to the extent that I can picture them being literally the SOLE person Lettie genuinely liked growing up, unnatural magnetism and all.
Unsure what the temple's feelings on Gender Stuff is, but in any case, Jordan might be the only one to know about Lettie's AGAB, also. Seems uh. Harder to gaslight than everyone else about that, especially with the relative closeness.
These dayssssss... relationship is probably complicated???? Even if they are still one of the only people she likes, the situation feels smothering and like a LOT of keeping of secrets from them (Like uhhh y'know. The fact that a good chunk of the other people at the temple are abusing her in a way that could be considered a bit 'sullying') and at least from Lettie's POV, an implicit assumption of extremely Conditional love. I like to imagine it's a genuine two-way kinda familial bond, but not always a great one lol. Like. Even at best, controlling as fuck, in the name of keeping her Pure and Safe. (That last one's somehow harder??? Sickly creature. Also she keeps getting concussions slipping on temple floors on accounts of the hooves :/ )
yeah. She wants them to be Proud of her but also wants to shake them by the neck until they Understand and also wants to be free of them and also wants to stay safe with them forever and it's a Lot.
I don't think Lettie is Sydney's biggest fan lmao. fuckin tattletale
#Lettice the Heavensent#Lettie (DoL AU)#sorry for inflicting my aimless oc ramblings on you all again#but not sorry enough to stop
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