#bee-likes-pins-queue | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

khmarrenian · 10 months

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☁︎a small-silly-sorta abt + tag system pin post (will be edited as i feel the urge to silly return)

hey there; i do stuff and like lot's of stuff and have trouble doing things on time. a bit busy atm so i might respond late (sorry abt that!!)

i go by any pronouns (not including neos, ie just he/she/it/they), and i forgot what my name was!! (can't wait to get one ehehee-)

☁︎ ukr/eng + learning latin and polish (im trying (help) ☁︎ ∞ minor (late teens) ☁︎ creeps, westsplainers and vatnyks dni (if dni lists are still a thing) ☁︎

i'm sick of my old tag system so HERE YOU GO

#%иїо, for most reblogs

#art-rbyay, for reblogs of art by others

#queueeey, queue tag

#aCtualoriginalstufftent, for =} once in a blue moon (original posts, includes text posts)

#.ao, for a variety of things from 3am-postin' to 10 braincell posts and random thoughts

#khmartdump, an art archive sort of thing. posting old art or other such creations that may or may not be quality but sure are ~memories~.

#khmarrkin, for wips, discussions about them and whatever project i feel urged to work on at the moment

#khmarrawrings, - sillier doodles and some (often unfinished) sketches

i generally tag spoilers with the format of *titleacronym*S#E#spoilers (eg tgammS2E1spoilers) for tv shows, and "*fulltitle**year*spoilers" (eg thestepfordwives1975spoilers) for films. if a thing is tagged as a spoiler for the episode of a tv show assume it's spoilers for every following episode/installment. I'll often use 2 spoiler tags eg #tgammS2E15spoilers and #tgammS2E7lightspoilers where S2E15 is a brand-new episode that is the main concern of a post, but the post may still be a spoiler if you haven't watched S2E7 - it may be a smaller spoiler (say, a new character) but is still a spoiler, and you might want to steer clear. In all cases I'll be using variations of "*titleacronym* spoilers" (eg tgamm spoilers) alongside the aformentioned tags. I'll try to stay consistent with my spoiler tagging (and use more spoiler tags in general) so you hopefully don't get spoiled, and I apologize for the confusion caused by this fairly convoluted system!!

you can check out my old tag system in the about page - some of my old posts use that old system so if you stumble upon them, checking that might be useful. Here's some stuff I'm into and which you may find on this blog (depending on how things go and whether i,, yk, actually post:

Wander Over Yonder

The Ghost and Molly McGee

Amphibia

The Owl House

Bee and Puppycat

ENA

(+Gravity Falls, OtGW, Steven Universe, She-Ra and SVTFOE but i'm not too into them rn)

Keytars, if that counts

Lemon Demon

Tally Hall

Jack Stauber and Will Wood to some degree. Although I'm not too well-versed on either to be fair.

The Beatles

The Stepford Wives (1975)

Stranger Things

Horrible Histories (+the six idiots themselves)

that's it for now. I'll update this whenever I please, mbyeeee *have a great day whoever you are btw

#pinned post #no tags #ironically #wait is this actually ironic #or literally just how it's supposed to be?#idc idc #it's ironic enough for me❤︎#+bc it's sillier that way

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bees-b · 2 years

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Pinned post tiem

I’m Amber or Bee, she/they, nb lesbian

this is my main blog! I rb things I like, find funny, or things I don’t enjoy but probably find important, you can check my about for more info on that

p much everything is tagged, so genuinely feel free to go thru my tags at your leisure, browsing my archive is cool and u can spam reblog I don’t mind I prommy (if u spam reblog my art I’ll blow u a kiss, even)

Here’s my art blog and if u follow it u are my beloved

If you’re new to tumbies, here’s a few posts to getcha started (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

My own personal tumblr tips below

Getting weird asks? Turn of anonymous asks, people won’t send you near as much weird stuff if they can’t hide (anon hate is a thing here, it happens mainly with blogs with a lot of followers, and that stops mainly when anon is off)

On the other side, hey! Don’t send weird asks! Be nice to people, please!

Neil Gaiman has had an account here forever, he answers his inbox, he’s quite nice to people, be nice to him, don’t be weird.

April fools is really fun here, log in on April 1st! It’s different every year

Don’t buy a blog theme, look up one you like, plenty of sites have them. Some tumblr blogs have them! Googling “tumblr theme” gets you where you wanna go

In your blog customization settings, it lets you add pages and links! On mobile, though, you can’t see these, so linking them in your bio as well helps more people see the links

The post limit is 200 or 250 a day, usually I never reach it but the site doesn’t really tell you, just doesn’t let you post after that

Queue is your friend!! You can schedule posts, schedule what time you want your posts to happen (i.e. posting 3 times a day at prime time or 50 posts a day all day, etc) and it lets you batch upload art without spamming or it getting lost in a sea of your own posts, xkit has an extension that lets you auto tag your queued posts, some people have cutesy pun ones, mine is just the letter #q

Readmore is good! The text limit is Not Twitter, you can post fics here if you want without adding screenshots! You can add a setting wheres you can have long posts shortened (other people have to have this enabled for it to shorten your post), but it’s common courtesy to put fics in readmores after, like, a paragraph or so, or a description

Please use tags! And filtering! Under Settings > general > content you see, you can block key words and tags. Tags have to be Exact! Keywords should filter any post with that word or phrase, so when tagging your own content warnings, please don’t use // at the end, it makes it harder for people to filter!

Ex: #tw: blood// #blood/// #blood tw// #bl0od/

Ex: #blood / #tw blood / #blood tw

And if you don’t want to see certain content, varying what you put in filtering helps. Because some people just tag the tw and some people add tw before or after, helps to add variation so nothing slips through!

First 5 tags are what show up in the search, feel free to talk in the tags! But have the first few tags what u actually want people to look up to find your post!

AN IMPORTANT NOTE: unless this changed and I wasn’t aware, I’m pretty sure if you have a link AT ALL in your post, it gets hidden from the tag search. Still shows up on your blog but the audience is not as wide— you can reblog your own post again and add links after the original post, or ask in the post to check the notes for the link. Shadowbanning accounts isn’t a thing here but posts can get shadowbanned kinda

Also adding “mutual aid” or “donations” to a help post shadow bans it, please don’t do that when making or reblogging a help post

You can go through tags! So you can make tags for your art, comics, characters, etc and sort them that way on your own blog, it’s super helpful! No like, idk, twitter collection needed

My talking tags are #amber talks for examples and my art is #my art, I can go through all of these whenever I want!

Give yourself an icon, and post like, something, anything. A lot of people (myself included) scope out new followers to make sure they’re not bots, and if I see an empty blog and no icon, I usually block, on the other side, if YOU see this, probably block

Block porn bots. They follow you to make their accounts seem more legitimate; following real users makes their accounts not look as botty, and might attract other bots to your blog as well, and speaking of them, don’t click their links lol, they’re either viruses, scams, or phishing scams, in general be careful of links, especially if it has an offer or it’s from someone you don’t know asking you to “test out their game”. You can get hacked and then your post will spit out spam for a while and possibly deleted from staff. Even if it’s from someone you know, check to make sure their account wasn’t hacked, especially if it’s an offer or deal or Raycon Sunglasses

Lots of people have main blogs and art blogs, but some people post art on main, or you can have an art blog and always reblog your art to your art blog/main blog; double dipping isn’t discouraged

You can reblog something as many times as you want, there’s no “you’ve tweeted this before” alert, old posts make the rounds again and you can reblog your art for morning or afternoon crowds so more of your followers see it, self reblogs are common!

Adding more tips as I think of them!

#amber talks

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bumbling-kiddo · 2 years

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READ THIS BEFORE FOLLOWING PLS :]

(dni in last paragraph!)

hello! i go by bee online, any pronouns, it’s nice to meet you!! :] i am an adult and an age regressor/dreamer! hoping to make some friends and use this blog as a comfy collection of things that make me happy and relaxed while regressed :D

Stuff To Know:

🧸 this is a sideblog! my main is here -> @bumbling-bumblebee (but pls read the pinned post before following that blog!!) and my fandom agere blog is -> @azalea-bee i also have an agere cg/babysitter blog! -> @wildflower-playground

🌼 if you’re coming here from one of my other blogs, or simply don’t know, age regression is a positive, non-sxual coping mechanism that many people of all ages use (often without realizing!) to deal with things like trauma, stress, mental health issues, sensory issues, chronic pain etc! for some people it’s voluntary, for some it isn’t, and for me it’s a bit of both. :] it is absolutely not a k!nk in any way, which is why i’m strict about no nsfw interaction on this blog. lmk if you have other questions!

🧸 feel free to interact with me, spam like or rb, dm, ask questions etc! it’s fine if you’re not an agere-specific blog. however if you interact from a k!nk blog i will block you!! this blog is always sfw. if you’d like something tagged for you go ahead and ask and i’ll do my best!

🌼 some of my favorite things which will probably show up a lot on this blog: video games like animal crossing new horizons/minecraft/stardew valley, animals, bugs and naturey stuff, and LOTS of stuffies! my most-used tags are in the tags of this post for navigation

🧸 my pfp is from this picrew: https://picrew.me/image_maker/660864 ! also, i am on mobile so things tend to be even glitchier than normal lol..if i miss a message or ask i promise it’s not on purpose! :P

🌼 on that same note, i put almost everything i rb into a short queue, so if it looks like i’m ignoring your message or ask but still online posting stuff, it’s just the queue auto-posting, so pls don’t worry!

🧸 finally, my dni: no k!nk interaction! that’s an immediate hard block. if you’re a terf (or any other variety of bigot) or you make me uncomfortable i will also block you. lastly, cglre blogs and all systems are welcome here (including endo systems!!), so pls be kind, and if you hate either of those communities this is not the blog for you to follow! thanks!

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rubyneo · 2 years

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Making a new pinned post bc I lost my other one. Basic info can be found in my bio 🥰

I'm Cherry/Cj/Sage (they/them) and I'm your friendly local artist/writer/editor/general nuisance.

I post a lot about R/WBY, but you'll also be able to find posts about a lot of other stuff (S/PN, Ha/nnibal, 911, M/DZS, DC comics, etc)

I use tags for my mutuals and friends! Generally by name, but if I'm talking about multiple or in general I use the tag my internet mutual polycule is better than yours.

Bastardmance tag is for my wife Daisy/Rose moonedknights <3

I also have an untagged queue running with mainly aesthetic posts. (Sometimes I tag these, and you can find them under cj.aes, words, and poetry)

I tag vent-y/annoyed posts with cj.vent and salt tag, so you can filter those if you don't want to see those posts.

CHERRY BRANWYNS R/WBY FANDOM INDISCRETIONS:

if you're here because of the fallout between blaire tran/sjnpr and i last year: yes im still a big meanie who hates fun and popular ships, yes im still a nasty "panphobe" who thinks pansexuality and bisexuality are the SAME THING and pan people owe bi people $30 every time they say otherwise. here's my venmo for that :)

if you're here because of my past bmb/lb edits, posts, stories, headcanons, or the bee bible itself: im not a bee shipper anymore, though i can occasionally be convinced to make edits of them for friends or nice anons.

if you're here because you want to see if im a mean nasty little anti: bro i genuinely do not care anymore if i dont like you im gonna block and move on. if i dont like the content you produce im gonna block and move on. its very simple. dont bother me and im not gonna bother you. im 21 i dont care about pro v anti discourse anymore i just wanna make my blorbos kiss

if youre here because of ladybug: hiiii <3 please go pre-order the zine <3

if youre here because of the ECM weirdo freak post, yes i still think he is.

I DO unironically ship Qrow/Tyrian now. Cry about it <3

I think Sno/wfall is boring. It was cool at first but y'all had to make it a bland ass ship.

I've had this particular blog since November 2018, there's opinions on here that I don't hold anymore. I'm now a Cinder and Mercury fan, I think Cinder AND Salem are getting redeemed.

I still view Roman and Neo through a platonic lense and I don't take Roman Holiday as "canon" because of the stuff outlined in those linked posts.

Subsection of the above: I still think Neo is roughly the same age as the rest of the protagonists. (So 19-21)

I am a big meanie who hates popular ships. BB is boring, NND is interesting through a lense of Salem/Ozma's pattern being repeated and perhaps the issue of whether to bring Penny back or not giving the heroes sympathy for Salem's tragedy, FG was boring, WR is cool when my friends talk about it but too many of you are weird about it.

OTHER:

If you're here because of my donation post for my kitten: hi! Bumble went in for his surgery on 03/03/2022 and is healing at home. My mother loaned me $1k to pay it off and I'll be paying her back as I can.

I'm mainly a mobile user, so I may not notice if I've reblogged from someone nasty, so please feel free to send me an ask with a description of/link to the post and I'll happily delete it.

Trigger tagging: I TRY to remember to tag stuff, but I'm often using the fast reblog and queue functions so I'll probably miss things. Please let me know if you need something specific tagged.

Bi vs Pan discourse: I'm panphobic now.

Slurcourse: Stop trying to gatekeep slurs from people who are targeted by them 😭😭😭 Bi women are called the d slur, any flavor of gay person is called the f slur, cis people arent going to ask if im transfemme or transmasc before calling me the t slur when they find out i'm trans. The q slur is a slur as much as it's an identity.

Subset of the above: Use whatever identifier makes you feel comfortable, don't call ME q***r. Posts with it are tagged "q word" for blacklist usually.

Just...show respect and compassion for other people and don't call people slurs without their permission.

#cj.txt #don't rb

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bee-likes-pins · 1 year

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(credit: found thrifting)

#bee-likes-pins-queue #bee-likes-pins #pin collector #pin collection #enamel pins #prince edward island #anne of green gables #kindred spirits

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bumbling-bumblebee · 2 years

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INTRO POST/BYF

hello hello!! finally doing a little thing to keep pinned :]

🌱 i go by bee online, any pronouns, and i’m an adult.

🌿 this is my main blog. i use it to enthuse over fandom stuff mostly. at the moment that mainly means minecraft and hermitcraft, and some life/traffic series! runs on a short queue.

🌱 dni: i don’t have a specific dni beyond the usual terfs/other variety of bigots, i just block liberally. i used to post a lot abt dsmp characters so just to clarify i’m not a fan of the cc!dteam or cc!wilbur. also endo systems are welcome here so if you dislike that pls don’t follow me!

🌿 i do my best to use general fandom tags and common trigger warning tags. this blog often has strong language (untagged), and occasionally blood or mildly suggestive jokes (always tagged!) and i don’t usually post abt discourse much on here. if you’d like something else tagged for you send me an ask!

🌱 feel free to send me asks, dm, or spam like/reblog, i enjoy making new friends :]

🌿 my pfp is made from this picrew and my header is a screenshot of a gtws build!

🌱 i have quite a few side blogs! i won’t list them here but i do link my main in all of their pinned posts so it should be easy to tell it’s me interacting. if we’re mutuals feel free to ask abt any of my sideblogs!

ok that’s everything, i think :] ty for reading!

#some common tags for navigation! ->#hermitcraft #traffic series #empires smp #michael b #bee.txt #bee.posts #ref #video

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luna-spacedoodles · 3 years

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[ID: Four images of eight design references for Tommy, in every iteration he has a hand on his hip and is looking off screen. The first image has Early Days and L’manburg Tommy. The notes by the first Tommy say, “- Unintentional similarity to Animal Crossing nose, works tho. - Easy slip on shoes because it’s easier and he doesn’t know how to tie his shoes. - Sideways oval highlight in eye because disc. - He just has too much of a human personality and vibe to be a hybrid for me.”. The notes on the second Tommy say, “+ Scars from war and shit.” In the second image there is Pogtopia and New L’manburg Tommy. The notes on the left say, “+ More new scars. - Backpack that doesn’t fall off easily to hold shit. - Bandages over hands for protection because they’re living in a ravine now. - High socks for extra protection or something idk.”. The notes on the right say, “+ Green bandana from Tubbo.”. In the third image there’s Exile and Living with Techno Tommys. The notes on the left say, “- Eye bags under eyes from severe lack of sleep. + More new scars. - Wilbur’s coat for warmth(he sewed up the back). - Ripped clothes. - Bandages on feet because Techno made a joke that one time and I took it as design. - Long hair from time spent without scissors and no motivation to but it. - No more highlight, eyes darker and desaturated colors because sad.”. The notes on the right say, “- Complimentary blue cape with emeralds from Techno for warmth. - Sewn up clothes. - Gloves and boots for warmth.”. The final image has End of Exile - Last Prison Visit Tommy and Revivedinnit. The notes on the left say, “+ Lighting scars from Doomsday. + Bee pin from Tubbo. - Cut but not really short hair to look like Tubbo’s.(I forgot to put it in the notes but it should also say + New shirt.)” The notes on the right say, “- Longer hair from time stuck in prison + being fucked around with time-wise. + Grey hairs from stress and again, being fucked around with time-wise. - No highlight and darker eyes bc sad.”. /End ID]

making this reminded me how much tricorn hats(and the old L’Manburg skins in general) are a pain in the ass to draw because i cannot comprehend it at all, also y’all are missing out on giving tommy lighting scars they’re detailed but cool as hell

(REBLOGS > LIKES!! If you’re not gonna reblog/queue don’t bother liking as it does absolutely fucking nothing for my art :))

@jackstanifold

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puppyluver256 · 2 years

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[Image Description: Two fan-made Pokemon that are bug and flying evolutions to the Pokemon Eevee.

The first Pokemon is a fox-like creature with slick green fur, big red insectoid eyes, large ears with tan insides, and long brown insect antennae. Its shoulders and back legs are coated in honey, presumably from the hive attached to its tail. Small brown bees hover around the hive. Lime green text outlined in green to the right of the image reads "Hunneon".

The second Pokemon is a fox-like creature with pale blue fur, big green eyes, long wing-like ears with blue tips and dark blue insides, blue on its paws, and a long blue-tipped feathery tail. Light blue text outlined in blue to the right of the image reads "Aereon".

End ID.]

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Hunneon - Honey Pokemon - bug The hive on its tail houses a colony of bees that produce vast amounts of honey and see the Hunneon as their comically oversized queen. While it is rare for a Hunneon to be stung by its own bees, it has happened on occasion, and is usually a result of neglectful care of the Hunneon itself. / Hunneon can supplement its diet by sampling some of the honey crafted by the bees in its tail hive, and it often encourages its bees to let its Trainer and friends to have some as well. Regardless of whether or not it eats its own honey, its fur is often sticky from errant drippings.

Aereon - Soaring Pokemon - flying Its sleek feather-like fur allows it to be incredibly aerodynamic while in flight. Their ears are their main source of thrust for flying, and can be manipulated with such precision that they can stand in for hands. / With its large wing-like ears, it can take to the skies and soar at speeds rivaling many bird Pokemon. It takes a while after evolving to figure out what to do with its legs while airborne, however.

More Cantessy Pokemon! I thought we wouldn't get to these ones for a few months, but then I remembered that I Am In Control Of The Art Queue, so here we are! Now I will admit, these were kinda motivated by playful spite toward a certain Poketuber's claims that there can never be any more Eeveelutions after Sylveon due to type patterns or whatever, and cuz I enjoy the guy's content I have to insist that it's only playful spite and not genuine spite. And hey, if he's correct then I'll never have to worry about GameFreak rendering my Eevees null and void! :D So here's Hunneon and Aereon, the bug and flying type evos respectively. Aereon definitely came to me a lot easier, Hunneon took a bit longer because I had no idea how to make a bug fox until the idea hit on me that it could cultivate bees and become kind of bug-like itself as a result. These guys both evolve by friendship much like Espeon and Umbreon, and now Sylveon too I guess since affection and friendship were merged, but what other condition would make them take one of these paths rather than the official ones? Weeellll...you remember those silly partner Eevee moves from Let's Go? I friggin' love those, they're adorable, so I'm bringing them back and making new ones for my evos. You get Hunneon if your Eevee knows the move Stingly Swarm, and you get Aereon if it knows Windy Wave.

Now as you may know if you've been paying attention to my Gym Leaders' teams, I have way more than just these two Eeveelutions to share. How many, you ask? ...Yes.

Reminder that if anyone wants to suggest moves for any Cantessy Fakemon to learn and some physical stats where I haven’t yet figured them out, feel free to throw ‘em at me :3 Links to their info pages will be provided in the replies!

💖🐶 Check out my pinned post for ways to support my artwork, among other things! 🐶💖

~If you like, please reblog to show your friends! Likes are appreciated, but reblogs let more people see my content! If you have something to say, feel free to give feedback in tags/comments/replies as well!~

#pokemon #fakemon #eeveelution #hunneon #aereon #jess drew the thing #sfw #image description #long post

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pcsitivibee · 3 years

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good morning bee gang ! i took down the bee kind event pinned post and a part of me screamed noooooooo in darth vader vc, i gotta admit. but i know there’ll be more events. i’m planning one for the summer and then one for the holidays !!! just a reminder that event posts will continue to come out as there are a bunch in the queue still ! so be on the lookout for anything you sent. like i said earlier this week though, you are not limited to an event to bee kind to anybody. the inbox is open ♡♡

#🐝・゜゜・psa #🐝・゜゜・moderator speaking : pink #tbd

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unpack-my-heart · 4 years

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i am no bird (no net ensnares me)

The first time Eddie decided to leave for the bright lights of the big city, it was a rainy Tuesday afternoon in January and he’d been drunk on a fermenting promise to himself that was becoming slippery. So slippery was this promise that at any moment he feared he’d drop it, and it would splatter on the floor, messy and irrecoverable. He was nineteen years old; old enough to know better but young enough that his hare-brained decisions could be written off as the recklessness of a youth not yet over. When he’d told the others that he was planning to leave, with the phone crackling wildly under the strain of their seven way conversation, they had all whooped loudly, cheering a victory that he hadn’t yet won.

“I knew this would be the year you’d leave, Eds! I could feel it in my dick”

Fucking gross.

After he’d chewed Richie out for being crude, faux-annoyance honeying his words, he’d remained silent for a very long time, listening to the others trip and stumble over each other, babbling about how good emancipation felt, how the air had never tasted as sweet as it had the day they’d left, the day they’d left Derry and never looked back.

He’d planned to leave, had always meant to leave, had gotten as far as idly scrolling through flight schedules late at night, the moon watching him with her soft, sceptical gaze, but something held him back. The invisible red tether that cut deep welts into his heart tightened viciously whenever the thought of leaving fluttered through his brain, butterfly smooth. His mother tugged on the tether, and reminded Eddie that his wings had been clipped a long time ago.

When Richie left Derry, nearly two years ago, Eddie hadn’t cried. Dry-eyed, face bright and free from tear-tracks, he’d rubbed soothing circles into Richie’s back as Richie cried, great heaving sobs that dampened Eddie’s almost-scratchy jersey sweater. He’d cried on Eddie’s shoulder for eons of time that they didn’t have, until Richie’s phone began to buzz fiercely. Eddie’s eyes remained firmly, petulantly dry. They’d remained dry when Richie told him, in a voice thick with sorrow, that out of all the Losers, out of all the people he’d ever met and even the people he hadn’t, that his Eds was his favourite. Eddie’s eyes remained dry when he watched Richie shove his guitars and the half-broken metal box full of old mixtapes into his half-broken old car that wheezed almost as much as Eddie did. The car sagged under the weight of Richie’s entire life, with no room for Eddie to clamber in, to mould himself around the suitcases. Eddie’s eyes remained dry as he watched Richie drive mouse-slow out of the driveway, and they’d remained dry when Richie shouted out of the window,

“I’ll never forget you, Eds! Not ever! I’ll always remember you and those fucking shorts!”

Those shorts remained folded away in the back of his wardrobe, unworn, unloved, almost-forgotten.

Eddie didn’t leave.

The second time Eddie decided to leave for the bright lights of the big city, he was twenty-four years old, and working full time at the pharmacy that he’d spent so many wasted hours in over the years, queueing up dutifully, waiting for the prescription to be filled, jittering from foot to foot, as if the verruca cream piled haphazardly on the shelf to his left would leap at him. He’d hop from foot to foot, wondering whether these pills would stop the bruising of his heart, or the mocking voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like his own, “you’re cracked you’re damaged you’re ruined”. So many years and so many sugar pills, enough to turn his stomach and make his teeth itch.

The pharmacy was much the same as it ever was, a stagnant pool suspended in the centre of the roaring sea. Aisles of cough syrup and dandruff shampoo bracketed the counter, and Eddie spent his days drumming his fingers on the counter, each pound of each pad against the dull white surface a declaration, a plea.

“You’re never going to leave if you don’t do it now. Rip the band-aid off, Eds, and stop being such a fucking pussy!”

Richie was right in that very frustrating way that Richie was always, always, right, especially when it came to Eddie and his pathological tendency to self-sabotage himself into oblivion. Rather than cradle his life in both of his hands, a fragile little thing that needed nurturing, Eddie had instead condemned it to a solemn existence of apathy and a pretentious sort of melancholy, all the while staring at the little white pills that he’d taken for so long; the little white pills that took the pain away only until they didn’t anymore, lined up neatly in their piss-coloured plastic bottles on the shelves of the pharmacy.

He’d packed his bags with all the gusto he could manage that evening shoving t-shirts and pressed, crisp chinos into an old, dusty rucksack with wild abandon, until he stopped. He stopped, and stared at the bag, really stared at it, and dropped the sweatshirt he’d been holding to the floor. He hadn’t packed his favourite books, the movie ticket stubs he’d saved from when Richie took hilton see the new Star Wars and Eddie had complained bitterly about how ridiculous it was until he’d annoyed Richie so much that he’d been dragged forcefully from the theatre, and they’d gone for burgers instead. There was no room for his favourite shoes, the sweater with the holes in it that Bev had leant him when he was cold and then given to him because the dull purple made the green in his eyes shine brightly, a freshly cut lawn on a summer morning.

Eddie emptied the contents of the bag onto the floor, and stepped over it. Tomorrow, he assured himself, tomorrow he’d leave. Tomorrow.

Eddie didn’t leave.

The third time Eddie decided to leave for the bright lights of the big city, he was thirty-three years old and couldn’t remember why California called his name so loudly, why its siren call echoed across the country, fingers beckoning, seducing. California, a nihilistic melting pot of overworked and underpaid wage slaves who bowed to the corporate bell and submitted themselves to the scrutinizing eye of the Silicon Valley start-ups. That’s what his mother had told him when she’d loomed over his shoulder, pin-ball eyes scanning the screen of his computer. There was nothing there for Eddie, a pharmacist with two degrees under his belt but no actual understanding of how the world worked beyond the safe confines of his small town existence. Highways, supermarkets with more than ten aisles, electric cars, save the turtles, sandals in winter and heatstroke in summer, sweat on your upper lip and tan lines on your knees. California.

His phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Is this Eds? Eds Kaspbrak?”

“Don’t call me that! Uh … Who is this?”

“It’s … Rich. Richie?”

A question, not a statement, as if the caller is asking, is that okay? Is it okay that this is Richie?

“Richie? Richie who?”

A pause that stretches like tar, sticky and black.

“Oh shit!”

Remembrance slammed into Eddie, sucker-punch strong. He remembered a tangled mop of dark brown hair, often flecked with paint. He remembered bucked teeth and freckles that skated across skin like grains of sand tossed up in wind. He remembered the lisp, and the gangly limbs that hung awkwardly, octopus limbs that were too long, too grabby, too energetic.

“Richie fucking Tozier!”

“The very same, Eds. Gotta be honest, I was sort of hoping you wouldn’t pick up, that some housewife would answer all, ‘he doesn’t live here anymore’, but … here you are.”

“Here I am.”

“Still there.”

“Still here,” Eddie confirmed, and his gut trembled with the sort of embarrassment that hung in the air low and heavy, like smoke. Like smog.

“I’m in California,” Richie says eventually, “got a sweet little place on the oceanfront, if you ever … y’know …”

Oh. There it is. The static that had been buzzing around Eddie’s brain when he thought of California, the angry bees that stung him for not remembering finally subdued, finally dropped down dead, because Richie was on the other end of the phone, still lisping, voice a little deeper, a little hoarser, a few too many cigarettes and not enough sleep, perhaps, but he was there, and Eddie had remembered.

“Ocean front, you say?”

The most reckless thing Eddie had done before this was leave the house during a torrential rainstorm with only a showerproof coat, knowing full well that the long fingers of Flu would be tapping at his arms in the morning. Now, here he was, sitting in a tacky sea-food restaurant, pushing prawns around on his plate, with someone he hasn’t seen for over a decade, and he’s drunk. Not too drunk, he can still see without his vision blurring, can still count all of the wrinkles that texture the canvas of Richie’s face, and the freckles. He’s not too drunk to wonder whether these are new freckles, or whether these are the same freckles that he used to stare at when they were lying in the quarry, shirts off and chests to the sky, sunning themselves like heat-starved lizards.

Nevertheless, here he is, Richie Tozier, stuffing paella into his face with one hand and waving wildly in the air with the other as he talks through bites of rice.

“Do you remember when you got kicked out of band?”

Richie groans, wounded.

“Don’t fucking remind me, I was scrubbing the deck for weeks after that old trout rang my mother. Real pissed she was, insisted that trombones are certainly not supposed to be used for such nefarious activities. I still think she shoulda’ been more adventurous”

“I’ll never forget the look on her face, Rich, she was so ready to beat the absolute living shit out of you!” Eddie brayed, stray pieces of pasta escaping his mouth as he spoke, disgusting, but in the dim light of the restaurant, Eddie didn’t care.

The wind whipped at Eddie’s face when they staggered out of the restaurant three hours and ninety dollars later, and Richie grabbed at Edide’s chin roughly.

“You never left, did you?”

“You know I fuckin’ didn’t”

“I shouldn’t have left without you, I never should have left you there.”

Eddie pushed at Richie, gentle enough not to hurt but with enough force that Richie staggered backwards. “It wouldn’t have made a difference. I’ve grown roots, Rich. I’m … I’m stuck there, like one of those plants that hibernates over winter but blooms in summer. I would have dragged you down with me.”

Richie readjusted his grip on Eddie’s chin, and tipped Eddie’s head up. Their eyes met.

“I nearly kissed you when I left, you know.” Richie said. “I really nearly did, got this close, but you looked so …”

“So what?”

“Fine. You looked fine. You didn’t even cry.”

Eddie blinked. “I cried every day for a month after you left. Then every other day for at least six after that. I cried so much my mother sent me to the fucking doctor because she thought I had hysteria.”

Richie barked out a laugh, a sad wet noise that sounded more like a sob. “I left you.”

Eddie pushed his face up, out of Richie’s grip, and pushed his lips against Richie’s trembling ones. The kiss is small, timid and Richie wrapped his arms around Eddie’s shoulder and clung, limpet-like.

It doesn’t last. Richie’s crying too much.

The next day, Eddie leaves.

The fourth time Eddie decided to leave for the bright lights of the big city, he leaves, and never looks back.

(this has been sat in my drafts since early March.)

#reddie #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #richie tozier x eddie kaspbrak #it fandom #it fanfic #it 2017 #it 2019 #fanfic #my writing

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