#don't h8 me
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hello, new friends ! my name is rover — yes, like kai’s latest cb, thank you, kai — & i’m here to introduce you to my muse, 櫻田詩音 ( sakurada shion ) ! he’s a 2005 liner — the only one in the group rp now heheh ( ^^ ; ) — & an aspiring vocalist from tokyo, japan. for reference, he’s in the male junior evening training group, & male dorm e, & he also attends sopa atm, too ! you can find more information about him below the cut, but please check out his DETAILS & OVERVIEW pages, if you’d like some extra reading material. lmk if you want to plot & i’ll reach out via tumblr dm. i’m primarily plotting through tumblr right now — i’m so sorry (╯_╰) — but if that changes, i’ll let you know. anyway, thanks for having me, & thanks x2 for the welcomes !
& M I S C
shion has this really bad habit of scribbling new song lyrics & lines of poetry he thinks of on literally anything he can get his hands on. this includes the whites on his sneakers, the corners of old newspapers, the palms of his hands, the notes app in his phone, & sometimes even the backside of important paperwork the company gives him. it bums him out so bad whenever he forgets what pops into his brain, so anytime inspiration hits him like a ton o’ bricks, he needs to write it down & carries at least one pen with him at all times.
on his pages, i’ve described him has “slow-paced” many times, & there’s a reason for that. he will never rush to do anything, no matter how important it is. he’s a firm believer in slow & steady wins the race — acting more like a tortoise, but resembling a hare... i see you, shion — & takes his sweet time with everything. whether it’s getting ready in the morning, eating his dinner, learning a song, or even cleaning his side of the dorm, he works sluggishly. things will get done, & his work will often be great, but he does it on his own terms.
branching off from above, he can be somewhat stubborn & stuck in his ways. he takes a long time to make decisions & that’s because he puts way too much thought into them, but once his mind is made up, it rarely changes. if people disagree with him, he’s comfortable with that as he’s patient enough to hear out & respect different povs, but he’s not known to budge from his opinions. this has gotten him into some light trouble in the past, but nothing major.
shion is a huuuuge sucker for romance, & themes of all types of romance, love, passion, heartbreak, etc. are explored in his poems & lyrics. however, the kicker here is that he’s never actually been in a relationship himself. ╥﹏╥ it’s something he’s always wanted, but ya know — being a gay kid in japan ( & now in south korea ) isn’t easy, & his shyness works against him here, too. he daydreams about what it’s like to have a boyfriend all the time, & his sweet little heart falls for people very easily. he’s kinda pathetic in a way, but it’s outta his control.
really, he’s still very young & he’s very much still figuring himself out, & he’s making mistakes, & learning lessons, & flopping, & failing, & basically doing literally everything he should be doing at his age, & i’m just here to help him grow in this verse. if your muse wants to take part in his journey in anyway — like literally anyway i mean that; the good, the bad, & the ugly, i want it all — lmk & we can figure it out together ! (*>ω<*)
& P L O T S
i love the idea of shion having a found family, if you will. people in his life who he’s not related to, but who feel like sisters, & brothers, & cousins, etc. those he can lean on if he needs a breather from training, those he can cheer up when they’re feeling upset, & those who can help him become the person he’s meant to be. if your muse has, like, parental instincts, even, they could just “adopt” shion as their own, like ig it, he is pretty babie in the grand scheme of things. (⋟﹏⋞) gimme gimme !
as it’s a dream of his to become a main ( or lead ) vocal of a k-pop boy group someday, shion wants to make sure that his efficiency with the korean language is up-to-par, especially his pronunciation while singing. he knows it’s crucial to have clear diction, & since korean isn’t his native tongue, he’s really leaned on your muse to pick up the basics. he’s very patient & will take these lessons seriously, but you’ll have to forgive him if he nods off from time-to-time. maybe this could even turn into real friendship !
maybe your muse & shion got into an argument when they were working on something together, & ever since that moment, things have never really been the same. shion is admittedly really awful with confrontation, & his stubbornness can sometimes make him hotheaded if he does lose his patience. it’s rare that he does, but it happens once in a blue moon. to make the scenario more broad, the point of this is that i think it’d be great for shion to have some conflict in his life. it’ll be interesting to see how he responds, so if you have other ideas for how this could happen, lmk. up for anything !
i would adooore for shion to have a big dopey crush on someone (─‿‿─)♡ this also doesn’t have to turn into anything deep, i just think it’d be fun for him to think the world of someone in that way, & write silly songs/poems about them, & be all (´♡‿♡`) when they’re around. feelings could be mutual, not returned, or it could even end in some kinda confession/heartbreak scenario, like, idc... give him something to write ab, please ! literally begging you rn, #shameless ! c’monnnn just think of how cute it’d be...
other japanese muses that remind him of home would be awesome tbh. he’d love being able to be homesick with them, & think about their childhoods, & dip into some good ol’ fashioned nostalgia here & there. maybe they can go out to traditional japanese restaurants in the city whenever they can or something cute like that, too; bond over shared cultures & stuff !
#♡ intro.#♡ pinned.#lgc:intro#this is so late lmao 😬#i am also so sorry for how long this got too rip#don't h8 me#also this template edit by me is v questionable rip x2
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uuuughh i need better friends. only like 5 of the people i actually talk to are people i enjoy being around. all of the people i think are cool never talk to me fuck my liiiiiiiiiiiife
#this post goez out 2 rowan & everest who are the only 2 of those 5 who will see this i <3 u guys 🙏#also to all the cool mutuals i never talk to but who make my life better anyways pls help me increase that number /hj#salem's random thoughts#also fuuuuck i logged on to desktop tumblr 4 the first time in ages & my unfucker stopped working please help#i don't wanna endure the twitterification any longer i h8 it!!!!!!!!!!!!! it looks cramped!!!!!!!!!!! give the posts room to breathe!!!!!!1
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seven sentence sunday
thank you to everyone who tagged me @gayhoediaz @spotsandsocks @cowboy-buddie @alyxmastershipper @rogerzsteven 💖💞 mobile hates me and i had to post this again but here’s more from my hunger games au
“That’s good,” Eddie croaks before clearing his throat, “did you eat?”
“Sorry,” Buck says with a small frown, “I ate three pieces of that bird you caught before I realized we should ration.”
“No,” Eddie says quickly, shaking his head, “it’s good that you ate. I can go hunting again soon.”
“Not too soon,” Buck hums as he swipes his thumb under Eddie’s eye again, “it’s my turn to take care of you.”
“Buck,” Eddie groans, eyes fluttering close, “you don’t have to.”
It’s rotten work.
“I want to,” Buck smiles all shy as he ducks his head.
not tagging cause it’s late <3
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oh boy the whole party scene w bitey? is uh. interesting. so greg has been practically glued to tom’s side pretty much every time we see him, especially at a social gathering like this, so to see tom without greg is like a gigantic space, since we last saw them arrive together at logan’s wake and spend the majority of it together. same with matsson’s shindig. it’s interesting because this is when sh*v approaches tom. i feel like she feels like it’s the only time she really can. greg had to physically leave the empty room earlier for tom and sh*v to talk properly and kiss. his space is needed for her to move in. which is interesting to me because it seems like he won’t be able to have both in the end. she obviously doesn’t like greg At All, and i mean a lot of the family doesn’t really, but she seems to have the most issue with him [and roman, but hey, twinsies!] bc ken is usually alright with him, and logan was. well, logan. marcia was decent. you get what i’m saying. and someone like sh*v, idk i feel like she wouldn’t be threatened or even be bothered to hate greg so much unless there was something going on, some kind of suspicion. it equates to her obvious distaste of the models she keeps talking about. tbh, i’m surprised she doesn’t mention greg when her and tom talk about past lovers, even as a joke.
#tomgreg#txt#i feel really bad censoring her name tbh LOOLLL bc it looks like i h8 her but i actually don't. i like her and her character.#but i don't want her stans to come for me DSFKJSF#or make assumptions. bc i do like her. but literally i'm just making observations based on what actually happened. that's all.#she can be real fuckin mean tho FHSKFJSF#''tom wambsgans finally made me feel something'' LIKE GIRL OOF
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continued from x
Jacqueline took the cloth from their hand and wiped at the corner of her lips before discarding it on the floor for Benedict to retrieve. "I have no tasks for you today, you may use this time to recover." She reached out, fingertip ghosting over the bite mark she had left on their neck. "Why is it you stay with me, Benedict? I do not bound you in chains nor lock you away. Why are you so loyal to me?"
#ch; jacqueline lavoisier#thread; jacquelinexbenedict#bluejeanbaby#//I definitely lost this/forgot about it :')#//pls don't h8 me
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):
#personal#ugh#not a day goes by where i dont think of her /:#we were such good friends /:#and like admittedly i needed to take space after all that i don't regret it#but i h8 that she prematurely apologized b4 even hearing my frustrations or why i was hurt#bc she apologized for what she THOUGHT i wanted to hear#and it sucks /: cause i really hope she's doing better#i hope shes ok#and i miss her#but i cannot bring myself to message her bc like......#i just don't understand how you hear your friends say something shitty happened with someone ur involved with#and blow up at them and demand proof of it#like i dont care how stressed you are with other stuff .......... who does that??????#nvm the fact that like. majority of the stress she had expressed to me then was literally about...... the ppl who did the fucked shit.......#idk. im just sad#she made me feel so seen and held and heard and we were just friends but like..... i cherished her so much ):#ALSO NVM THE FACT THE DAY BEFORE SHE DID THIS I LITERALLY TOLD HER (after talking to her abt smthn separate) tht#the only way we'd stop being friends is if she did LITERALLY exactly what she did#and yeah she sent it to my Wife's DMs#but honestly that makes it worse cause she knew i was there#nd treated my wife after all that like she was an evil meanie while she apologized to me#(which imo idc it reads and transmisogyny)#and she just like. up and left Everything b4 realizing she fucked up#like she did choose this#and im respecting that and respecting myself enough not to try running and begging her to be friends again#i just. idk man. it sucks
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That unrequited au’s got me in a gotdang chokehold. Not the sweatshirt! 😭 The description of Regan vs. Shelbyyy help. Wake up Toni baby wake uppp!
If I have to be in my emotional devastation era then so does everyone else x
Toni has no choice but to wake up when this whole situation finally comes to a head during a drunken confrontation at one of Fatin's notorious house parties. Shelby had spent another evening going out of her way to avoid Toni and, subsequently, Regan. Her evasive behavior, combined with Toni’s penchant for picking fights, had culminated in this late-night showdown of sorts.
The two find themselves sharing hard stares and even harsher words. Questions seem to morph into accusations that are a clear result of the last name Shelby bears and the god-fearing reputation that comes with it. Truthfully, it was naive of Shelby to think she could continue to get away with dodging the other girl like this, and it was wholly and entirely ignorant to believe she could survive the ensuing interrogation. Especially knowing how Toni’s always prided herself on her ability to easily get under her skin. Steady cracks begin to appear in her veneer as Toni throws shot after shot her way. Launching question after question at her. Creating a dangerous minefield that Shelby’s not entirely sure she can continue to navigate much longer.
With each passing moment, Shelby can feel the heavy weight of her pageant queen mask slipping further and further down, revealing the raw and vulnerable truth underneath. Slowly, the carefully crafted facade of perfection cracks and crumbles, giving way to the messy and embarrassing reality she's been so desperately trying to hide.
"Why is it so fucking hard for you to be happy for us?"
Toni lobs the question her way in a fit of frustration, and God, the question stings. It feels as though the words themselves have reached out and slapped her with all their might. Every syllable of every word burns at a brutal temperature. Invisible blisters are already steadily forming across the expanse of her cheek. Bubbling painfully. Flesh sizzling silently.
The question hurts. The insinuation hurts. The idea that Toni believes Shelby cares so little for her happiness fucking hurts. However, it’s still not enough to make her admit the truth and she can tell her silence is only upsetting Toni more. Her jaw is clenched and her chest is rising and falling rapidly with heavy breaths. It’s unsurprising when she yells out at Shelby once more:
“Say something!”
Her voice is desperate, trembling with fear and heartache. Shelby can hear the pleading in Toni's tone, her words spilling out with an urgency that cuts deep into Shelby's soul. She can feel the weight of Toni's expectations pressing down on her, begging for an explanation, for any shred of hope that this isn't what she thinks it is. The tension between them is palpable as Shelby struggles to hold back a flood of emotions threatening to overwhelm her. But with each passing moment, it becomes harder to contain the torrent of feelings churning within her.
“Because I love you!”
The declaration fills up the space around them, leaving no room to move. There is nowhere to run; nowhere to escape from the rubble of this crumbling friendship. It’s finally out there. These words, this thing that she's been so petrified to speak of is now out there for Toni to see, to dissect and pick apart. Shelby's soul lay bare in the confines of a bedroom that belonged to neither of them.
With a harsh swipe, Shelby banishes the hot tears carving tracks down her youthful face. She swivels abruptly from Toni, the air cooling where their bodies were once in proximity. Exhaustion-wrought legs buckle under her as she slumps onto the bed; an unruly cocktail of alcohol and fatigue renders her form heavy and unyielding. As she releases a shaky sigh permeating with undertones of regret - it sounds like waves reluctantly crashing onto a deserted beach. Gathering herself, she starts to explain:
"I spent years praying that one day you would wake up and just see me. You would see that I'm here, I've always been here, and you would finally love me back."
"Bee..." Toni's voice cracks. Raw with emotion and tinged with confusion.
Shelby pays no mind to the interruption, however. Instead, she presses on, ignoring how intensely pity-filled brown eyes watch her.
"I know how stupid and pathetic that sounds, but I really thought," her voice trails off momentarily as she tries to swallow the lump in her throat. "There were these moments where I swear it seemed like…like maybe you did love me. Then you met Regan, and I saw the way you looked at her, Toni. I saw it-"
"Shelby, please," Toni begs.
She pleads, for what? Shelby isn't sure. Does the thought of Shelby being in love with her make her skin crawl? Is Toni so disgusted that she can't bear to hear any more about Shelby's sick feelings? Perhaps she wants Shelby to stop, to save herself the embarrassment. Maybe she's simply trying to help Shelby retain what little is left of her dignity.
But Goodkinds aren’t known for being quitters.
So, if she's going to ruin the one good thing in her life and make a complete fool of herself, she may as well go for broke.
"It became painfully obvious that you would never love me the way that I love you. So, I'm sorry if I upset you. I'm sorry that I've been distant and closed off lately, but I am trying my best to learn how to not love you."
Toni's heart feels like it's being mercilessly wrenched from her chest, each beat causing a physical ache that seems to radiate through every limb. She knows she should say something, anything, to make things right, but her mind is foggy, and her tongue feels heavy with the weight of unspoken words. She can feel her knees growing weak with each passing moment. A tightness grips her throat, almost suffocating as a lump forms, making it difficult for her to even breathe. Despite the tears brimming in her eyes, she keeps them locked away; too ashamed to let them fall in front of her best friend.
Trudging forward, each step feeling more burdensome than the last, Toni makes her way over to the bed. Her eyes are transfixed on Shelby's form, as though she's just now seeing her for the first time. The air in the room is charged and tense, thick with unspoken emotions. "Bee," Toni says gently, barely above a whisper, only making Shelby want to hide away from her even more. She buries her head in her hands, unable to handle the softness in the brunette's tone. It feels too delicate, too careful, as if Toni is handling a fragile piece of glass that may shatter at any moment. Shelby's breaths come out in short ragged bursts, her head feeling light and dizzy as if the room is spinning around her. She feels exposed in all the wrong ways. Suddenly, there is a dip on the bed beside her and strong arms snake around her form. In this moment of vulnerability, Shelby can't help but lash out in the most pathetic way she can muster up - pushing weakly against Toni's chest like a petulant child. But Toni persists, ignoring Shelby's halfhearted protest and simply tightening her hold until they meld into one another. Shelby can feel puffs of warm breath tickling her ear as Toni whispers over and over again, "I didn't know."
For what felt like hours, Toni and Shelby remained tangled together like the branches of an old tree. The soft pads of Toni's fingers traced soothing patterns over the expanse of Shelby's back as sobs wracked her body. Two girls, once inseparable, now finding solace in each other's arms amidst the ruins of their friendship. The aftermath of drunken confessions hung heavy in the air between them. As sleep slowly overtook her, Shelby couldn't help but wonder how they had ended up here - lost in each other yet worlds apart. When she wakes the following morning, she knows she can't linger a moment longer. She can't bear to face the harsh light of day and another inevitable rejection from Toni. With a heavy heart, she carefully untangles herself from the sleeping girl and mourns the thought that this will be the first and last time she ever shares a bed with Toni Shalifoe.
#if puthy flapps ever cracked out a third installment of this highly unanticipated story/thot/idea i think it would be mainly Toni's pov the#morning after when she realizes shelby left and that she was a fucking idiot for not jumping at the chance to explain to shelby that she is#in fact in love with her she was just being an idiot who couldn't believe what she was hearing and who was overwhelmed bc pretty girl#unrequited love au#you see what i did there with the whole reference to s1 shoni and the 'i see you' moment from ep 4? am i a literary genius? perhaps#we really really really don't need to talk about the fact that this has been sitting in my drafts for five years just waiting to be posted#me reading about shelby getting her heart broken: i h8 it! i cant handle seeing my baby down and out like this!! author ur going to hell!!!#me writing the most painful and gut wrenching moments that leave shelby in nothing but pain and anguish: mmm mmm mmm this is delicious!!#ask#shoni#shelby x toni#shelby goodkind#toni shalifoe#the wilds
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hiiii does anyone know a good site(s) i can watch relatively new Indonesian horror movies on?
uh in particular if u can find a link for Hidayah or Sewu Dino i would love u 🙏
#i had two that looked interesting but i was STRUGGLING to find Anything 😭#like geez i don't even mind paying sjdjgkslsl h8 region locked content 😔 Let Me See
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"Who’s to say that young girls who like pop music – short for popular, right? – have worse musical taste than a 30-year-old hipster guy? That’s not up to you to say. Music is something that’s always changing. There’s no goal posts. Young girls like the Beatles. You gonna tell me they’re not serious? How can you say young girls don’t get it? They’re our future. Our future doctors, lawyers, mothers, presidents, they kind of keep the world going. Teenage-girl fans – they don’t lie. If they like you, they’re there. They don’t act ‘too cool.’ They like you, and they tell you. Which is sick."
teenage girls are so powerful in their passions and the only thing that substantively changed here (from 1944 -> 1957 -> 1963 -> 1973 -> 1983 -> 1997 -> 2012), other than the objects of their affection, was the fashion, but the genuine love and excitement is exactly the same and could run the world.
#they are seeing frank/elvis/the beatles/bowie/duran duran/'n sync/1D respectively#don't ask me what possessed me to do this i'm insane#jess.mess#music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent#i enjoy 5/7 but understand them all#tumblr h8s me and didn't let me fix this fast enough but hi becky ily
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So, who's gonna leak the patreon version with the uncensored Hand Job Bob?
#The Try Guys#try guys#Without Instructions#I h8 u utub3#also that was... not their best decision tbh lol why even make something that can't be shown?#at all#just to somehow push ppl over to patreon?#that's not how it works lol#TTG*#*#I don't know why I'm so pressed about this#ignore me#I got mad with the WaR thing too#whatev
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I think the meat man deserves to die for how he says organs
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the fact that heart eyes lee jun ho only existed after he saw her in that wedding dress and fell for her
#like legitimately he changes personality after that scene like he can't look away from her or stop smiling i h8 this man#from she's just my coworker and i listen to her special interest bcos who else would if i don't#to let's set up to have lunch together everyday also please talk to me about anything else i want to get to know you more heart eyes#extraordinary attorney woo#eaw#이상한 변호사 우영우#woo young woo#lee junho#what is their ship name even
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.
#vent post incoming feel free to ignore lol#i know it's stupid to be stressed abt having to swap all my makeup out#but with my self esteem on the floor i really cannot leave the house without it 😭#and i'm so scared of using any of my old stuff bc i have had so many stye flare ups this year#almost done with the antibiotic ointment my doctor prescribed#my next therapy session is on sept 6th and atm i don't have the funds i need to replace stuff so i'm stressed#getting emotionally attached to someone who did not give a shit back rly fucked me up this summer i h8 everything abt that situation :(#this year hasn't been a bad one i'm just so overwhelmed rn over small things & things out of my control#i think my therapy sessions have already helped build some resilience in me tho & i'm so grateful for that#here's to hoping the rest of the year brings more healing#trying to think of rn as a transitional stage i hope better things are ahead!!!
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I dunno what it is about shirts that are x10 sizes too big for me but it always makes me feel like a lil tyke who raided some guys closet. Also very comfy in summer would recommend.
#I'm so sorry I don't listen to metallica please don't h8 on me for being a fake stan i just liked the shirt 😩😩#me#shameless selfie#selfie#also soz for crappy pic it was 2am when i took this lol
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i can't even complain about taylor swift around here without getting the whole "oh because you listen to such good music as i like little girls" LIKE YOU CAN'T GO AFTER DANNY ELFMAN YOU PIECE OF SHIT. HE WRITES BETTER MUSIC THEN YOU WILL EVER LISTEN TO APPARENTLY
#my sibling continues to be the most pathetic little fucking asshole ever#and it's so funny because they don't even fucking listen to her music!! and when i complain about an artist who they don't listen to they#insult MY tastes#i don't say anything about their dumb tastes i don't complain when they're blasting the most stupid music known to man!#i keep my lips sealed when they say that the worst queen song is the best! i don't trash talk their horrible opinions!#and then when i say a single thing about popular artists who are killing the environment they insult MY MUSIC TASTS#FUCKING HELL i hope taylor swift dies and no one mourns her and we all just fucking forget her#i am just so sick of her and i am so sick of my sibling and g*d#vent tw#i am just so sick and tired my sibling is scum of the earth and they think they're hot shit#they hold not eating fish over my head like it makes them better than me because they're so morally pure. and they fucking eat#EVERY OTHER TYPE OF MEAT#and i know for a fact they just decided that they weren't eating fish ''for moral reasons'' because i eat fish often#and they act like they're so cool and queer and understanding but they fucking act like i can't be a lesbian because..#i'm male aligned? LIKE SINCE WHEN#they're so fucking annoying and i h8 them.... grrrr.
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me when someone tells me i can't just ignore every text and call i get
#this is why i have no friends#i can't stop tho#its too awkward texting ppl like tf am i suppose to say????#text#texting#the strugge is real#me fr#litterally me#lonelly#yeah#fyp#for you#i don't know what to tag help-#i hope they don't h8 me though shshsh its just anxiety
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