Mr “I wanna shoot everyone who ever crosses me in the head and won’t sleep until I get my vengeance but get all shy and nervous when Shepard offers me some free pum pum.” Vakarian.

Also don’t tell me he’s never considered it. Like in ME1 that whole “Shepard I wanna thank you” thing had so much sexual tension.

2014/2015 TV Awards

Best Drama Series: The Affair Better Call Saul Game of Thrones The Knick The Leftovers Mad Men HONORABLE MENTION: Bloodline, Boardwalk Empire, The Good Wife, Homeland, House of Cards, Justified, Marvel’s Daredevil, Masters of Sex, Parenthood, Scandal, Shameless Best Actor - Drama Series: Kyle Chandler, Bloodline - "Part 12" Jon Hamm, Mad Men - "Person to Person" Bob Odenkirk, Better Call Saul - "Marco" Clive Owen, The Knick - "Working Late a Lot" Michael Sheen, Masters of Sex - "Fight" Justin Theroux, The Leftovers - "The Prodigal Son Returns" Dominic West, The Affair - "Episode 7" HONORABLE MENTION: Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire; Charlie Cox, Marvel’s Daredevil; Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom; Freddie Highmore, Bates Motel; Terrence Howard, Empire; Charlie Hunnam, Sons of Anarchy; Peter Krause, Parenthood; William H. Macy, Shameless; Timothy Olyphant, Justified; Kevin Spacey, House of Cards Best Actress - Drama Series: Claire Danes, Homeland - "From A to B and Back Again" Viola Davis, How to Get Away with Murder - "Let's Get to Scooping" Vera Farmiga, Bates Motel - "Norma Louise" Taraji P. Henson, Empire - "Pilot" Kerry Washington, Scandal - "Run" Ruth Wilson, The Affair - "Episode 9" Robin Wright, House of Cards - "Chapter 32" HONORABLE MENTION: Amy Brenneman, The Leftovers; Lizzy Caplan, Masters of Sex; Lauren Graham, Parenthood; Eva Green, Penny Dreadful; Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit; Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife; Tatiana Maslany, Orphan Black; Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men; Ellen Pompeo, Grey’s Anatomy; Emmy Rossum, Shameless Best Supporting Actor - Drama Series: Jonathan Banks, Better Call Saul - "Five-O" Stephen Dillane, Game of Thrones - "The Dance of Dragons" Sam Elliott, Justified - "Fugitive Number One" Andre Holland, The Knick - "Get the Rope" Ben Mendelsohn, Bloodline - "Part 11" Mandy Patinkin, Homeland - "Halfway to a Donut" Jussie Smollett, Empire - "The Lyon's Roar" HONORABLE MENTION: Jere Burns, Justified; Alan Cumming, The Good Wife; Matt Czuchry, The Good Wife; Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones; Vincent D’Onofrio, Marvel’s Daredevil; Christopher Eccleston, The Leftovers; Jack Falahee, How to Get Away with Murder; Jay R. Ferguson, Mad Men; Noel Fisher, Shameless; Walton Goggins, Justified; Kit Harington, Game of Thrones; Joshua Jackson, The Affair; Vincent Kartheiser, Mad Men; Michael McKean, Better Call Saul; Cameron Monaghan, Shameless; Joe Morton, Scandal; Craig T. Nelson, Parenthood; Jonathan Pryce, Game of Thrones; John Slattery, Mad Men; Jeremy Allen White, Shameless Best Supporting Actress - Drama Series: Joelle Carter, Justified - "The Promise" Carrie Coon, The Leftovers - "Guest" Lena Headey, Game of Thrones - "Mother's Mercy" Christina Hendricks, Mad Men - "Lost Horizon" January Jones, Mad Men - "The Milk and Honey Route" Elizabeth Marvel, House of Cards - "Chapter 37" Mae Whitman, Parenthood - "We Made It Through the Night" HONORABLE MENTION: Annaleigh Ashford, Masters of Sex; Christine Baranski, The Good Wife; Linda Cardellini, Bloodline; Emilia Clarke, Game of Thrones; Rosario Dawson, Marvel’s Daredevil; Natalie Dormer, Game of Thrones; Ann Dowd, The Leftovers; Emma Kenney, Shameles; Olivia Munn, The Newsroom; Molly Parker, House of Cards; Kiernan Shipka, Mad Men; Sissy Spacek, Bloodline; Mary Steenburgen, Justified; Maura Tierney, The Affair; Sophie Turner, Game of Thrones; Maisie Williams, Game of Thrones; Mare Winningham, The Affair; Bellamy Young, Scandal Best Writing - Drama Series: The Affair - "Episode 7" - Kate Robin Better Call Saul - "Five-O" - Gordon Smith Better Call Saul - "Marco" - Peter Gould Game of Thrones - "Mother's Mercy" - David Benioff & D.B. Weiss The Leftovers - "Guest" - Damon Lindelof & Kath Lingenfelter Mad Men - "Person to Person" - Matthew Weiner HONORABLE MENTION: The Affair - “Episode 4”; The Affair - “Episode 8”; The Affair - “Episode 10”; Better Call Saul - “Pimento”; Bloodline - “Part 5”; Bloodline - “Part 12”; Boardwalk Empire - “Eldorado”; Game of Thrones - “The Dance of Dragons”; Game of Thrones - “Hardhome”; The Good Wife - “Oppo Research”; Grey’s Anatomy - “How to Save a Life”; Homeland - “Halfway to a Donut”; Homeland - “There’s Something Else Going On”; Homeland - “13 Hours in Islamabad”; House of Cards - “Chapter 32”; House of Cards - “Chapter 38”; Justified - “Fugitive Number One”; The Knick - “Crutchfield”; The Knick - “The Golden Lotus”; The Leftovers - “The Garveys at Their Best”; The Leftovers - “Two Boats and a Helicopter”; Mad Men - “The Forecast”; Mad Men - “Lost Horizon”; Mad Men - “Time & Life”; Masters of Sex - “Fight”; The Newsroom - “Run”; Parenthood - “May God Bless and Keep You Always”; Scandal - “Run”; Shameless - “Drugs Actually” Best Directing - Drama Series: Game of Thrones - "Hardhome" - Miguel Sapochnik Game of Thrones - "Mother's Mercy" - David Nutter Homeland - "Halfway to a Donut" - Alex Graves The Knick - "Crutchfield" - Steven Soderbergh The Leftovers - "Guest" - Carl Franklin Mad Men - "Lost Horizon" - Phil Abraham HONORABLE MENTION: The Affair - “Episode 4”; The Affair - “Episode 7”; The Affair - “Episode 10”; Better Call Saul - “Five-O”; Better Call Saul - “Marco”; Bloodline - “Part 11”; Bloodline - “Part 12”; Boardwalk Empire - “Eldorado”; Game of Thrones - “The Dance of Dragons”; Grey’s Anatomy - “How to Save a Life”; Homeland - “There’s Something Else Going On”; Homeland - “13 Hours in Islamabad”; House of Cards - “Chapter 29”; House of Cards - “Chapter 32”; Justified - “Fugitive Number One”; The Knick - “Get the Rope”; The Knick - “Working Late a Lot”; The Leftovers - “The Garveys at Their Best”; The Leftovers - “Two Boats and a Helicopter”; Mad Men - “The Forecast”; Mad Men - “Person to Person”; Mad Men - “Time & Life”; Marvel’s Daredevil - “Cut Man”; Parenthood - “May God Bless and Keep You Always”; Scandal - “Run”; Shameless - “Drugs Actually” Best Guest Actor - Drama Series: Evan Arnold, Mad Men - "Person to Person" Christian Camargo, House of Cards - "Chapter 32" Michael J. Fox, The Good Wife - "Red Zone" Scott Glenn, Marvel's Daredevil - "Stick" Mel Rodriguez, Better Call Saul - "Marco" Sam Shepard, Bloodline - "Part 4" HONORABLE MENTION: Christian Borle, Masters of Sex; Andre Braugher, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit; Beau Bridges, Masters of Sex; Reg E. Cathey, House of Cards; Justin Chatwin, Shameless; John Doman, The Affair; Allan Havey, Mad Men; Domenick Lombardozzi, Marvel’s Daredevil; Lars Mikkelsen, House of Cards; Mark Moses, Mad Men; David Hyde Pierce, The Good Wife; Oliver Platt, The Good Wife; Ron Rifkin, The Good Wife; Corey Stoll, Homeland; Jonathan Tucker, Justified; Courtney B, Vance, Scandal; Marten Holden Weiner, Mad Men Best Guest Actress - Drama Series: Geena Davis, Grey's Anatomy - "Staring at the End" Kaitlyn Dever, Justified - "Burned" Kim Dickens, House of Cards - "Chapter 34" Julianne Nicholson, Masters of Sex - "Blackbird" Deirdre O'Connell, The Affair - "Episode 5" Cicely Tyson, How to Get Away with Murder - "Mama's Here Now" HONORABLE MENTION: Khandi Alexander, Scandal; Debbie Allen, Grey’s Anatomy; Patricia Arquette, Boardwalk Empire; Alison Brie, Mad Men; Kerry Condon, Better Call Saul; Joan Cusack, Shameless; Ann Dowd, Masters of Sex; Lena Dunham, Scandal; Jennifer Ferrin, The Knick; Jane Fonda, The Newsroom; Marla Gibbs, Scandal; Marcia Gay Harden, How to Get Away with Murder; Allison Janney, Masters of Sex; Mia Kirshner, Bloodline; Linda Lavin, The Good Wife; Caity Lotz, Mad Men; Patti LuPone, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit; Debra Mooney, Grey’s Anatomy; Julia Ormond, Mad Men; Artemis Pebdani, Scandal; CCH Pounder, Sons of Anarchy; Diana Rigg, Game of Thrones; Chloe Webb, Shameless; Samira Wiley, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit Best Ensemble - Drama Series: Boardwalk Empire Game of Thrones Justified Mad Men Parenthood Shameless HONORABLE MENTION: The Affair, Better Call Saul, Bloodline, Empire, The Good Wife, Grey’s Anatomy, Homeland, House of Cards, How to Get Away with Murder, The Knick, The Leftovers, Marvel’s Daredevil, Masters of Sex, The Newsroom, Penny Dreadful, Scandal, Sons of Anarchy Best New Drama Series: The Affair Better Call Saul Bloodline The Knick The Leftovers Marvel's Daredevil HONORABLE MENTION: Empire, How to Get Away with Murder, Penny Dreadful Best Comedy Series: Mom Orange Is the New Black Silicon Valley Transparent Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Veep HONORABLE MENTION: black-ish, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Comeback, Community, Getting On, Girls, Jane the Virgin, The Last Man on Earth, Louie, The Middle, Modern Family, Parks and Recreation, Togetherness Best Actor - Comedy Series: Anthony Anderson, black-ish - "Crime and Punishment" Louis C.K., Louie - "Sleepover" Will Forte, The Last Man on Earth - "Alive in Tucson" Jonathan Groff, Looking - "Looking for Home" Thomas Middleditch, Silicon Valley - "White Hat/Black Hat" Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory - "The Intimacy Acceleration" Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent - "Pilot" HONORABLE MENTION: Gael Garcia Bernal, Mozart in the Jungle; Mark Duplass, Togetherness; Neil Flynn, The Middle; Jake Johnson, New Girl; Matt LeBlanc, Episodes; Joel McHale, Community; Andy Samberg, Brooklyn Nine-Nine; Adam Scott, Parks and Recreation Best Actress - Comedy Series: Lena Dunham, Girls - "Home Birth" Anna Faris, Mom - "Free Therapy and a Dead Lady's Yard Sale" Ellie Kemper, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - "Kimmy Rides a Bike!" Lisa Kudrow, The Comeback - "Valerie Is Brought to Her Knees" Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep - "Election Night" Gina Rodriguez, Jane the Virgin - "Chapter One" Taylor Schilling, Orange Is the New Black - "Thirsty Bird" HONORABLE MENTION: Zooey Deschanel, New Girl; Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie; Jane Fonda, Grace and Frankie; Patricia Heaton, The Middle; Amy Landecker, Transparent; Melanie Lynskey, Togetherness; Laurie Metcalf, Getting On; Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation; Tracee Ellis Ross, black-ish; Kristen Schaal, The Last Man on Earth; Lily Tomlin, Grace and Frankie Best Supporting Actor - Comedy Series: Andre Braugher, Brooklyn Nine-Nine - "Beach House" Tituss Burgess, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - "Kimmy Goes to School!" Jay Duplass, Transparent - "The Wilderness" Tony Hale, Veep - "East Wing" T.J. Miller, Silicon Valley - "The Lady" Timothy Simons, Veep - "B/ill" Steve Zissis, Togetherness - "Not So Together" HONORABLE MENTION: Ty Burrell, Modern Family; Jaime Camil, Jane the Virgin; Terry Crews, Brooklyn Nine-Nine; Charlie Day, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia; Adam Driver, Girls; Kevin Dunn, Veep; Alex Karpovsky, Girls; Hugh Laurie, Veep; Joe Lo Truglio, Brooklyn Nine-Nine; Kumail Nanjiani, Silicon Valley; Nick Offerman, Parks and Recreation; Ed O’Neill, Modern Family; Chris Pratt, Parks and Recreation; Peter Scolari, Girls; Reid Scott, Veep; Martin Starr, Silicon Valley; Russell Tovey, Looking; Matt Walsh, Veep; Sam Waterston, Grace and Frankie; Zach Woods, Silicon Valley Best Supporting Actress - Comedy Series: Danielle Brooks, Orange Is the New Black - "Looks Blue, Tastes Red" Anna Chlumsky, Veep - "Convention" Gaby Hoffmann, Transparent - "Why Do We Cover the Mirrors?" Allison Janney, Mom - "Three Smiles and an Unpainted Ceiling" Natasha Lyonne, Orange Is the New Black - "Low Self Esteem City" Kate Mulgrew, Orange Is the New Black - "40 Oz. of Furlough" Lorraine Toussaint, Orange Is the New Black - "It Was the Change" HONORABLE MENTION: Uzo Aduba, Orange Is the New Black; Stephanie Beatriz, Brooklyn Nine-Nine; Mayim Bialik, The Big Bang Theory; Alex Borstein, Getting On; Julie Bowen, Modern Family; Lea DeLaria, Orange Is the New Black; Hannah Dunne, Mozart in the Jungle; Melissa Fumero, Brooklyn Nine-Nine; Sarah Hyland, Modern Family; Gillian Jacobs, Community; Carole Kane, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt; Jane Krakowski, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt; Judith Light, Transparent; Zosia Mamet, Girls; Adrienne C. Moore, Orange Is the New Black; Niecy Nash, Getting On; Amanda Peet, Togetherness; Barbara Rosenblot, Orange Is the New Black; Eden Sher, The Middle; Anna Deavere Smith, Nurse Jackie; Yael Stone, Orange Is the New Black; Sarah Sutherland, Veep; Merritt Wever, Nurse Jackie; Samira Wiley, Orange Is the New Black Best Writing - Comedy Series: Orange Is the New Black - "We Have Manners. We're Polite." - Jenji Kohan Silicon Valley - "Binding Arbitration" - Dan O'Keefe Transparent - "Best New Girl" - Bridget Bedard Transparent - "Pilot" - Jill Soloway Veep - "B/ill" - Kevin Cecil, Armando Iannucci, Andy Riley & Tony Roche Veep - "Testimony" - Sean Gray, Armando Iannucci & Will Smith HONORABLE MENTION: black-ish - “Crime and Punishment”; The Comeback - “Valerie Cooks in the Desert”; The Comeback - “Valerie Is Brought to Her Knees”; Getting On - “Doctor Death”; Girls - “Home Birth”; Girls - “Sit-In”; Jane the Virgin - “Chapter One”; The Last Man on Earth - “Alive in Tucson”; Louie - “A La Carte”; The Middle - “The Graduate”; Modern Family - “Closet? You’ll Love It”; Modern Family - “Connection Lost”; Mom - “Free Therapy and a Dead Lady’s Yard Sale”; Mom - “Mashed Potatoes and a Little Nitrous”; Mom - “Three Smiles and an Unpainted Ceiling”; Orange Is the New Black - “Hugs Can Be Deceiving”; Orange Is the New Black - “It Was the Change”; Orange Is the New Black - “A Whole Other Hole”; Parks and Recreation - “One Last Ride”; Silicon Valley - “Adult Content”; Silicon Valley - “Sand Hill Shuffle”; Silicon Valley - “Two Days of the Condor”; Togetherness - “Not So Together”; Transparent - “Why Do We Cover the Mirrors?”; Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - “Kimmy Makes Waffles!”; Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - “Kimmy Rides a Bike!”; Veep - “Convention”; Veep - “East Wing”; Veep - “Election Night” Best Directing - Comedy Series: Modern Family - "Connection Lost" - Steven Levitan Orange Is the New Black - "It Was the Change" - Phil Abraham Orange Is the New Black - "We Have Manners. We're Polite." - Constantine Makris Silicon Valley - "Two Days of the Condor" - Alec Berg Transparent - "Best New Girl" - Jill Soloway Veep - "Election Night" - Chris Addison HONORABLE MENTION: black-ish - “Pops’ Pops’ Pops”; The Comeback - “Valerie Is Brought to Her Knees”; Community - “Modern Espionage”; Getting On - “Doctor Death”; Girls - “Ask Me My Name”; Girls - “Home Birth”; It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia - “Charlie Work”; Jane the Virgin - “Chapter One”; The Last Man on Earth - “Alive in Tucson”; Louie - “Sleepover”; The Middle - “The Waiting Game”; Modern Family - “The Day We Almost Died”; Mom - “Three Smiles and an Unpainted Ceiling”; Mozart in the Jungle - “You Go to My Head”; Orange Is the New Black - “Hugs Can Be Deceiving”; Orange Is the New Black - “Thirsty Bird”; Parks and Recreation - “One Last Ride”; Silicon Valley - “Binding Arbitration”; Silicon Valley - “Sand Hill Shuffle”; Togetherness - “Kick the Can”; Transparent - “Pilot”; Transparent - “Symbolic Exemplar”; Transparent - “Why Do We Cover the Mirrors?”; Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - “Kimmy Rides a Bike!”; Veep - “B/ill”; Veep - “East Wing”; Veep - “Testimony” Best Guest Actor - Comedy Series: Jon Hamm, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - "Kimmy Makes Waffles!" Matt McCoy, Silicon Valley - "Binding Arbitration" Tim Blake Nelson, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - "Kimmy Has a Birthday!" Seth Rogen, The Comeback - "Valerie Is Brought to Her Knees" Billy Bob Thornton, The Big Bang Theory - "The Misinterpretation Agitation" Bradley Whitford, Transparent - "Best New Girl" HONORABLE MENTION: Scott Bakula, Looking; Adam DeVine, Modern Family; Ben Feldman, Silicon Valley; Laurence Fishburne, black-ish; Charles Grodin, Louie; Jake Lacy, Girls; Kumail Nanjiani, Community; Craig T. Nelson, Grace and Frankie; Dean Norris, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt; Patton Oswalt, Veep; Oliver Platt, Modern Family; Kevin Pollak, Mom; Michael Rapaport, Louie; Pablo Schreiber, Orange Is the New Black Best Guest Actress - Comedy Series: Pamela Adlon, Louie - "A La Carte" Becky Ann Baker, Girls - "Tad & Loreen & Avi & Shanaz" Eve Best, Nurse Jackie - "I Say a Little Prayer" Tina Fey, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - "Kimmy Goes to Court!" Carrie Preston, Getting On - "The 7th Annual Christmas Card Competition" Emily Robinson, Transparent - "Best New Girl" HONORABLE MENTION: Beverly D’Angelo, Mom; Kathryn Hahn, Parks and Recreation; Kathryn Hahn, Transparent; Gaby Hoffmann, Girls; Gillian Jacobs, Girls; Jenifer Lewis, black-ish; Laurie Metcalf, The Big Bang Theory; Rita Moreno, Jane the Virgin; Lori Petty, Orange Is the New Black; Laura Prepon, Orange Is the New Black; Jaime Pressly, Mom; Raven-Symone, black-ish; Naya Rivera, Glee; Romy Rosemont, Silicon Valley; Amy Sedaris, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt; Kiernan Shipka, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt; Octavia Spencer, Mom; Michaela Watkins, Transparent Best Ensemble - Comedy Series: Modern Family Orange Is the New Black Parks and Recreation Silicon Valley Transparent Veep HONORABLE MENTION: The Big Bang Theory, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, black-ish, Community, Girls, Glee, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Jane the Virgin, Looking, The Middle, Mozart in the Jungle, New Girl, Nurse Jackie, Togetherness Best New Comedy Series: black-ish BoJack Horseman Jane the Virgin Togetherness Transparent Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt HONORABLE MENTION: Grace and Frankie, The Last Man on Earth, Married, Mozart in the Jungle Best TV Movie/Miniseries: The Honorable Woman The Missing The Nance (Live From Lincoln Center) Nightingale Olive Kitteridge HONORABLE MENTION: American Horror Story: Freak Show, Bessie, The Casual Vacancy, Gracepoint, Stockholm Pennsylvania, Toy Story That Time Forgot, 24: Live Another Day, Wolf Hall Best Actor - TV Movie/Miniseries: Richard Jenkins, Olive Kitteridge Nathan Lane, The Nance (Live From Lincoln Center) James Nesbitt, The Missing David Oyelowo, Nightingale Mark Rylance, Wolf Hall Kiefer Sutherland, 24: Live Another Day HONORABLE MENTION: Stephen Merchant, Hello Ladies: The Movie; Evan Peters, American Horror Story: Freak Show; David Tennant, Gracepoint Best Actress - TV Movie/Miniseries: Anna Gunn, Gracepoint Maggie Gyllenhaal, The Honorable Woman Frances McDormand, Olive Kitteridge Frances O'Connor, The Missing Queen Latifah, Bessie Saoirse Ronan, Stockholm, Pennsylvania HONORABLE MENTION: Nicole Kidman, Grace of Monaco; Jessica Lange, American Horror Story: Freak Show; Yvonne Strahovski, 24: Live Another Day Best Supporting Actor - TV Movie/Miniseries: Tcheky Karyo, The Missing Rory Kinnear, The Casual Vacancy Bill Murray, Olive Kitteridge Jonny Orsini, The Nance (Live From Lincoln Center) Cory Michael Smith, Olive Kitteridge Finn Wittrock, American Horror Story: Freak Show HONORABLE MENTION: Andrew Buchan, The Honorable Woman; William Devane, 24: Live Another Day; Mike Epps, Bessie; John Gallagher Jr., Olive Kitteridge; Michael Gambon, The Casual Vacancy; Anton Lesser, Wolf Hall; Damian Lewis, Wolf Hall; John Carroll Lynch, American Horror Story: Freak Show; Denis O’Hare, American Horror Story: Freak Show; Jonathan Pryce, Wolf Hall; Stephen Rea, The Honorable Woman; Michael K. Williams, Bessie Best Supporting Actress - TV Movie/Miniseries: Lubna Azabal, The Honorable Woman Kathy Bates, American Horror Story: Freak Show Claire Foy, Wolf Hall Zoe Kazan, Olive Kitteridge Mo'Nique, Bessie Sarah Paulson, American Horror Story: Freak Show HONORABLE MENTION: Khandi Alexander, Bessie; Angela Bassett, American Horror Story: Freak Show; Michelle Fairley, 24: Live Another Day; Keeley Hawes, The Casual Vacancy; Virginia Kull, Gracepoint; Abigail Lawrie, The Casual Vacancy; Julia McKenzie, The Casual Vacancy; Cynthia Nixon, Stockholm Pennsylvania; Tika Sumpter, Bessie Best Variety Series: The Colbert Report The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Last Week Tonight with John Oliver Late Show with David Letterman Real Time with Bill Maher The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon HONORABLE MENTION: The Late Late Show with James Corden, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Saturday Night Live, Watch What Happens Live, Whose Line Is It Anyway? Best Variety Special: Aziz Ansari: Live at Madison Square Garden Beyonce & Jay-Z: On the Run Saturday Night Live: 40th Anniversary Special Stevie Wonder: Songs in the Key of Life - An All-Star Grammy Salute The 68th Annual Tony Awards HONORABLE MENTION: Backstage with Disney on Broadway: Celebrating 20 Years, Beyonce: X10, Bill Maher: Live From D.C., Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber, David Letterman: A Life on Television, The 72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards, The 57th Annual Grammy Awards, Jen Kirkman: I’m Gonna Die Alone (And I Feel Fine), Jerrod Carmichael: Love at the Store, Louis C.K.: Live a the Comedy Store, Mel Brooks: Live at the Geffen, Miley Cyrus: Bangerz Tour, Night of Too Many Stars: America Comes Together for Autism Programs, Rosie O’Donnell: A Heartfelt Standup, Super Bowl XLIX Halftime Show, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (Live From Lincoln Center), Tony Bennett & Lady Gaga: Cheek to Cheek Live! (Great Performances) Best Male Performer - Variety Series/Special: Aziz Ansari, Aziz Ansari: Live at Madison Square Garden Jerrod Carmichael, Jerrod Carmichael: Love at the Store Hugh Jackman, The 68th Annual Tony Awards Taran Killam, Saturday Night Live John Oliver, Last Week Tonight with John Oliver Jon Stewart, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart HONORABLE MENTION: Tony Bennett, Tony Bennett & Lady Gaga: Cheek to Cheek Live! (Great Performances); Christian Borle, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (Live From Lincoln Center); Wayne Brady, Whose Line Is It Anyway?; Mel Brooks, Mel Brooks: Live at the Geffen; Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report; Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon; Bill Hader, Saturday Night Live; Jay-Z, Beyonce & Jay-Z: On the Run; David Letterman, Late Show with David Letterman; Bill Maher, Real Time with Bill Maher; Colin Mochrie, Whose Line Is It Anyway?; Ryan Stiles, Whose Line Is It Anyway?; Bryn Terfel, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (Live From Lincoln Center) Best Female Performer - Variety Series/Special: Beyonce, Beyonce & Jay-Z: On the Run Beyonce, The 2014 MTV Video Music Awards Aidy Bryant, Saturday Night Live Tina Fey & Amy Poehler, The 72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards Kate McKinnon, Saturday Night Live Emma Thompson, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street in Concert (Live From Lincoln Center) HONORABLE MENTION: Vanessa Bayer, Saturday Night Live; Beyonce, Beyonce: X10; Beyonce, Stevie Wonder: Songs in the Key of Life - An All-Star Grammy Salute; Aidy Bryant, Saturday Night Live; Miley Cyrus, Miley Cyrus: Bangerz Tour; Tina Fey & Amy Poehler, The 72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards; Lady Gaga, Tony Bennett & Lady Gaga: Cheek to Cheek Live! (Great Performances); Idina Menzel, The 68th Annual Tony Awards; Rosie O’Donnell, Rosie O’Donnell: A Heartfelt Standup; Katy Perry, Super Bowl XLIX Halftime Show; Sia, Saturday Night Live; Cecily Strong, Saturday Night Live; Allison Williams, Peter Pan Live!; Jessica Williams, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Best Animated Series: Archer Bob's Burgers BoJack Horseman South Park HONORABLE MENTION: Family Guy, The Simpsons Best Voice-Over Performance - Animated Series: Will Arnett, BoJack Horseman - "The Telescope" H. Jon Benjamin, Archer - "Reignition Sequence" H. Jon Benjamin, Bob's Burgers - "Father of the Bob" Dan Mintz, Bob's Burgers - "Tina Tailor Soldier Spy" Kristen Schaal, Bob's Burgers - "Hawk & Chick" Aisha Tyler, Archer - "The Kanes" HONORABLE MENTION: Hank Azaria, The Simpsons; Alison Brie, BoJack Horseman; Dan Castellaneta, The Simpsons; Kevin Kline, Bob’s Burgers; Seth MacFarlane, Family Guy; Eugene Mirman, Bob’s Burgers; Amber Nash, Archer; Trey Parker, South Park; John Roberts, Bob’s Burgers; Amy Sedaris, BoJack Horseman; Stanley Tucci, BoJack Horseman; Jessica Walter, Archer Best Reality Series - Competition: The Amazing Race The Challenge: Battle of the Exes II Project Runway RuPaul's Drag Race Survivor Top Chef HONORABLE MENTION: America’s Next Top Model, The Celebrity Apprentice, Lip Sync Battle, So You Think You Can Dance Best Reality Series - Non-Competition: Catfish: The TV Show The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills The Real Housewives of New York City Shark Tank Teen Mom Who Do You Think You Are? HONORABLE MENTION: Beyond the Tank, Teen Mom 2 Breakthrough Male Performance: Tituss Burgess, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Pete Davidson, Saturday Night Live Jack Falahee, How to Get Away with Murder Marcus Scribner, black-ish Jussie Smollett, Empire Steve Zissis, Togetherness HONORABLE MENTION: Miles Brown, black-ish; Bryshere Y. Gray, Empire; Hasan Minhaj, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart; Marc Pickering, Boardwalk Empire; Chris Sullivan, The Knick Breakthrough Female Performance: Hannah Dunne, Mozart in the Jungle Leslie Jones, Saturday Night Live Marsai Martin, black-ish Margaret Qualley, The Leftovers Gina Rodriguez, Jane the Virgin Yara Shahidi, black-ish HONORABLE MENTION: Eve Hewson, The Knick; Ta’Rhonda Jones, Empire; Maya Kazan, The Knick; Aja Naomi King, How to Get Away with Murder; Lola Kirke, Mozart in the Jungle; Virginia Kull, Gracepoint; Abigail Lawrie, The Casual Vacancy; Alice Wetterlund, Silicon Valley Best Documentary Program: After Tiller (P.O.V.) - Martha Shane & Lana Wilson August Wilson: The Ground on Which I Stand (American Masters) - Sam Pollard Banksy Does New York - Chris Moukarbel Bruce Jenner: The Interview (20/20) - Diane Sawyer & Rob Vint The Case Against 8 - Ben Cotner & Ryan White The Day the Series Stopped (30 for 30) - Ryan Fleck Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief - Alex Gibney Hot Girls Wanted - Jill Bauer & Ronna Gradus The Jinx: The Life and Deaths of Robert Durst - Andrew Jarecki Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck - Brett Morgen Southern Rites - Gillian Laub Virunga - Orlando von Einsiedel HONORABLE MENTION: The Boomer List (American Masters), Captivated: The Trials of Pamela Smart, I Hate Christian Laettner (30 for 30), It’s Me Hilary: The Man Who Drew Eloise, Regarding Susan Sontag, Thought Crimes: The Case of the Cannibal Cop

Three of her squad mates died but it’s okay because Geena got her turian boyfriend in the end. A win is a win.

So for Mass Effect 2 I’m gonna give Geena a buzz cut and it’s gonna go something like this

Geena: What…did you do… TO MY HAIR ?!?

Miranda: It was necessary to shave your hair for the procedure-

Geena, pointing at Jacob: YOU LET THIS WOMAN TOUCH MY HAIR ?! IT TOOK ME TWO YEARS JUST TO GET IT TO THAT LENGTH AND YOU LET HER TOUCH MY HAIR ?!?

Jacob: I had nothing to do with the Lazarus project hands on so-

Geena: YOU DONT EVER TOUCH A BLACK WOMAN’S HAIR EVEN WHEN SHE’S COMATOSE AND DYING !

Miranda: If I didn’t shave your head I couldn’t preform the surgery and you’d be dead

Geena: WHO CARES ?!? I’d rather be dead with hair than bald !

Jacob: Just think of it as a big chop, a fresh start to celebrate coming back to life !

Geena: I will kill you and burn Cerberus down TO THE GROUND !

-Later-

Garrus: I like the haircut Shepard. It really brings out your face.

Geena, giggling like a school girl: Oh Vakarian, flattery will get you no where.

Miranda and Jacob: 😑😑

And here it is. Geena Shepard with her buzz cut. She doesn’t like completely identical to her ME1 look because game 2 doesn’t let me widen her nose but it’s close enough I’ll just say that Miranda did plastic surgery on her nose and instead of giving her her original nose she fucked shit up along with big chopping her without her consent.

Playing Hey Boy by the Blow on repeat until Garrus appears because you didn’t call her ONCE while she was on house arrest. Ima make a rewrite of the song because I refuse to accept “He was too busy” to at least say “Hey” once so here it is because Geena would have some insecurities about it

Hey boy

Why you didn’t call me ?

I waited for days I can’t believe you didn’t call

Hey boy

Why you didn’t call me?

I waited for days I can’t believe you didn’t call

A. You’re dead

B. Another woman

C. You kinda wanted us to stay friends or

D. Humans just aren’t your thing, no ring

Hey boy

Why you didn’t call me ?

I waited for days I can’t believe you didn’t call

And we sat

Inside for an hour after the mission and talked

I thought that something good could be starting

It’s not a lot that I want just some talking

Really you just injured my pride

Hey boy

Why you didn’t call me ?

I waited for days I can’t believe you didn’t call

Liara says that maybe you were scared

Joker says there always is a reason

And James says you found a turian girl and a human is not something that you’re needing

Man alright I’ve deduced it and here’s who absolutely did and didn’t tell Kaidan about Shepard and Garrus

Garrus- If Kaidan wasn’t on speaking terms with Shepard for joining Cerberus, why would he actively reach out to talk to Garrus ? And if Garrus was too busy to shoot Shepard a “U good” message to his girl Kaidan was definitely the last one on his mind.

Liara- Literally what reason would she have ? I’d assume she was too busy with shadow broker shit and her studying the prothean artifact unless she just did it to be mean because Geena originally rejected Liara for Kaidan and then moved onto Garrus like Kaidan was nothing but in ME3 she still assumes that she still has a thing for Kaidan but I don’t think it was her unless she wanted to be a bitch even though I don’t know how she’d know about Shepard and Garrus in the first place since she was too busy playing with her shiny new shadow broker toys.

Tali- Again, if he wasn’t on speaking terms with Shepard he wouldn’t be on speaking terms with her now matter how much she claims to hate Cerberus. If he didn’t believe his girlfriend why would he believe tali ? Also I can’t see them talking outside of a work basis anyways.

James- He didn’t even know that Kaidan knew Shepard so I doubt he knows their romantic history and he just freshly met Garrus while Kaidan was still comatose in the hospital and depending on how you play Garrus and Shepard might not even rekindle their romance until after visiting Kaidan or whatever. I don’t know, I know it wasn’t this idiot.

EDI- She’s way too smart for that and I can’t understand any scenario where she’d drop the bomb on Kaidan on their mission to mars since that’s the only time they interacted until he officially comes back but that’s way after he already confronted Shepard

Now let me tell you who it could have been:

Dr Chakwas- She cares about Kaidan deeply and even though she did join up with Cerberus she wasn’t officially part of them. She took a leave of absence from her actual job because the Cerberus thing was just a “temporary gig and Shepard needed her” and I can see her visiting him in the hospital and telling him that she knows Shepard and Kaidan had a thing but to not get his hopes up. She might have let it slip so that Kaidan doesn’t find out that hard way and gets hurt.

Joker- Even though he joined up with Cerberus too he technically started “ working” under the alliance again and since EDI only “obeyed” his commands and the alliance was too dumb to figure it out and he still had direct contact with Anderson, I figure he could convince Kaidan to have a drink with him. He probably accidentally let it slip and said that he wouldn’t say more and to just “ask Shepard”

Thane- If Thane is still alive in the play through it’s mentioned that he and Kaidan met in the hospital and while talking he probably let it slip and Shepard and Garrus hooked up but refused to say more once he saw the look on Kaidan’s face, knowing that he misspoke.

Any other answer kind of doesn’t make sense as to who snitched to Kaidan. Like it would take several convoluted reasons to explain to me why Urdnot Wrex, Kasumi, Grunt, Miranda, Jacob or whoever would go out of their own way to tell Kaidan that Shepard moved on like a day after they broke up but whatever

Kaidan and Shepard broke up and Kaidan’s picture is no longer on her desk in ME2 and she moved on with Garrus

So why pray tell is the third game treating it like they’re doing the “on break” thing because Geena is my Garrus romance and I can’t focus on that if Kaidan is giving me puppy dog eyes because then I’ll just feel bad ! Like he’s doing the lingering look thing and my heart can’t take that and I can’t break his heart!

So in conclusion I’m just gonna start over the first two games if they’re gonna treat Geena like she’s some cheating harlot who broke Kaidan’s heart when they BROKE UP on Horizon. Like I chose the renegade answers that I thought would ensure a break up but they’re still treating it like she and Kaidan still have feelings for each other.

Meet Geena Shepard. I tried my best with her but y’know, you can’t create cute black femsheps in the Mass Effect because they didn’t take to account that black people would want to play this game and gave us little to work with

I kinda think she looks like Anita Baker tho so that’s a plus

Here’s Geena Shepard in Mass Effect 3. She grew her hair back after Cerberus big chopped her. How did she grow her hair back out in six months ? Black girl magic