the irony of 'inseparable.'

hey. do you remember when we were six, and you walked me to the nurse's office when i fell and skinned my knee? do you remember when we were twenty-three, and i called you paramedics because you overdosed on xanax?

do you remember when we were four, and you held my hand at the ballpark when i was afraid we'd get split up? do you remember when we were eighteen and i left home and never came back?

do you remember when we were eleven, and i beat you at that car racing game that you liked so much for the first time ever, and you were devastated?

hey. do you remember when i was twenty-five, and i got the call from mom?

two years and four weeks ago exactly.

ok. griefaversary is over. thanks y'all for your patience. we will now return to our regularly scheduled turtle program.

But wait!!! There’s more!!! My twin brother may have died on the 11th, but it was on the 12th that I woke up to a call from my mother and found out. That’s right, gang. Griefaversary is a two day event!!!!! Yayyyyy.

Y’all come meet my twin

-he adopted a cat named Luna with his ex which then became his cat. He was a self-identified “cat person” but horribly allergic for most of his life (also allergic to dogs, trees, grass, pollen, dust, mold…..) In high school he started getting allergy shots to counteract this so he could finally achieve his dream of snuggling cats.

-He had a little scar on his wrist from where a heat lamp was left on him in the NICU (we should have sued, smh.) We were both hella preemie and in the NICU for a while, but him much longer than me, because he was a fragile delicate little flower (unlike me, who is very tough and cool.) He was also supposed to be born first, but then I shoved him out of the way at the last second. I was an only child for 46 whole blissful minutes before his pokey ass finally joined me.

-He fucking loved bonfires. He was a boyscout for, like, eight years, and would often have bonfires out in the backyard once we moved out into the woods in 2020. (Before, when we lived in the city, he’d have bonfires with his friends out in the woodsy part of the local park and they’d all run for it when the cops showed up.)

-He was a stoner in high school lmao and sold weed. Never shared with me (dickhead) but mostly stopped smoking once our dad got sick because there couldn’t be smoke in our house when his lungs were so fucked.

-Loved loved loved cars. Loved driving. Loved working on and fixing cars. Would regularly buy old fucked up cars and then figure out how to fix them and then sell them for a profit as a “side hustle”/hobby. Almost entirely self-taught. Was the type of person who would consider you passing him on the highway a personal slight and challenge (what a moron) and then start insulting whatever car you were driving (because he could recognize the make/model/year of almost any car on sight) (“You’re gonna pass me? Seriously? In a fucking 2005 Ford Escape? Are you kidding me? Do you know how you look right now—“)

-Dumb stupid idiot. I loved him very much. I love him very much.

Thanks for being so open about your grief. I haven't experience loss to the same intensity as you, but seeing your experience helps, in its own way. Thank you

Ah thank you?! ; w ; I really really appreciate it. I'm glad it means something to you.

Daily check in :)

I LUV YOU

YOUR AMAZING

YOU ARE ENOUGH

WHATEVER YOU ARE GOING THEOUGH, YOU ARE NOT ALONE

WE LOVE AND WILL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU

PAT PAT KISS KISS

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU <3 I LOVE AND APPRECIATE

Hi

I'm sorry for your loss. I don't want to pretend to anything. I just want to say that I hope you get whatever you need and want.

I hope you smile soon

Thank you. <3 I hope you do, too! Just in general. Just in life.

I'm not sure if this is the right thing to say, but I'm sorry for your loss.

There's no right or wrong thing to say. Thank you! I appreciate it and it's sweet that you took the time to send me this.

I want you guys to know these are the real life honest to god things me and my sister chose to say to each other when our brother died. It’s okay to laugh. We’re fucking funny.

i forgot my ipad at work and I'm sad.

griefaversary jumpscare.

it's officially been five years since the loss of my dad. i think that means i'm healed now, right? anyway, my dad is the whole reason i started tmnt: stabilize, so my brain and hands decided we'd draw splinter.