Everyone gets terrified when they see Dick put on the Cape and go into downright brooding shadow death aura mode, capturing Bruce’s scowl and glare to an uncanny extent.

They don’t know that the real reason Nightwing had to get real good real fast at transforming into batman is because in his early batman days he accidentally smiled while trying to talk down this guy from blowing up a building.

They made eye contact for a split second, before the guy burst into tears. He then proceeded to rip off the bomb, throw up, faint, wake up, throw up again before immediately running for the window of the 45th floor of a building.

Day 6 - Mask

(Warnings: Alcohol drinking (consensual tho))

Dean almost cursed his brother for dragging him into this Halloween party just to abandon him ten minutes later for the pleasure of Jessica Moore’s company. Even though they’d been married for two years, those two were still disappearing to go get laid somewhere and Dean really didn’t want to be around when that happened. It wasn’t for him, thank you. And really, a Halloween party? He was over 30 and he didn’t even know that adults were still celebrating this kind of thing like any other Saturday night.

But he was apparently wrong considering the crowded dance floor of that theme bar. Everyone had played along, zombies moving their bodies among vampires, witches and werewolves. Some had opted for more classic costumes such as the nurse near the bar or the clown close of the toilet and from whom Sam would surely stay away. As for the DJ, he was on stage in his pirate disguise, giving the microphone to the beatboxer alien from time to time. The atmosphere was still friendly and it’s not like Dean had anything else to do with his October 31st evening, but he didn’t particularly want to meet anyone tonight.

His Batman costume didn’t seem to be as popular as he would have liked and the only girl who had noticed him all night long — a kind of giant pumpkin stained with blood, nothing very appetizing really — had mixed him up with "this guy from Avengers". Yet his mask was proudly on his face, his eyes surrounded with black make-up, and his cape flew according to his movements as his ears pointed towards the sky. Dean spent $50 on that suit and it wasn’t to be mocked by an uncultivated pumpkin.

Leaning against the bar isolated from the dance floor, Dean sighed, grateful to have at least some alcohol to comfort himself with. He had decided to swallow a few more drinks before going back to his apartment to watch TV when, suddenly, someone came to pull him out of his morose thoughts by bumping into him.

"Oh, really sorry." A low male voice apologized. "I should have looked around before I came down here."

Dean turned his surprised gaze to a man wearing a pretty convincing cowboy suit. Though judging by the wide headscarf on his eyes, he certainly personified an outlaw, a bee pin as a sheriff’s badge. Dean raised his eyebrows, moving to make room for the stranger.

"No harm done." He replied with a casual smile, tightening his grip around his shot of Alabama Slammer.

The cowboy came to take the place next to him before ordering as well, his blue penetrative gaze back on Dean.

"Very successful, the Batman." He said, obviously open to make conversation.

The stranger glanced at him for a moment, from top to bottom, and Dean could not restrain a feeling of pride taking hold of him. He smiled more while turning completely towards his new companion.

"Finally, someone with actual knowledge in this bar!" Dean exclaimed with amusement. "I swear, the next person who calls me 'Captain America' gets hit".

"What, someone dared to make that comparison?" The cowboy marveled in a laugh.

"Oh, you have no idea what I’ve heard." Dean lamented before drinking his shot further, savoring it more than the previous ones. He focused his attention on the cowboy and arched an eyebrow. "Your costume is really cool too, a true rodeo pro with that."

Another clear laugh escaped from the stranger’s mouth, surpassing the music that resonated further on the dance floor. The cowboy’s order finally arrived to him as he answered.

"Me, I don’t know. But William Brooks was certainly a fine gunfighter, that’s right." He replied before dipping his lips in his glass of pure vodka.

Dean eye’s widened, his smile growing bigger and bigger. There were so few people who knew that name, it couldn’t be a coincidence. Of course, for a huge fan of old western movies, the comparison was obvious, but he had to be sure.

"William Brooks as…?"

"Buffalo Bill, exactly."

Dean uttered an exclamation of joy.

"Awesome! Buffalo Bill is one of the best outlaws of his time, his adventures are amazing!" He said as he looked into the cowboy’s blue eyes.

"I know, he is my favorite mercenary!" This one replied in an equally cheerful tone.

Dean felt his night was suddenly changing. Maybe if the cowboy stayed here and talked to him, he might consider staying longer and enjoying the party.

"Dean" He said, raising his glass to the cowboy.

"Castiel." He replied with an easy smile.

They clinked their glasses before swallowing them bottoms up. Finally, without either of them really realizing it, hours —and the shots— flew at an incredible speed. What Dean thought was another tasteless evening turned out to be a very good time as he and Castiel talked. Sam and Jessica even came to him around 1:00 in the morning to tell him that they were going back home and Dean had just said goodbye to them before returning to his exciting conversation with Castiel about the best horror movies. Castiel, to tell the truth, seemed rather cowardly, but he listened to each of his words with particular attention which did not fail to warm Dean’s heart.

Neither of them particularly wanted to dance, happy with their own part of the bar and the distant music as the place gradually emptied. Around 1:30, however, their harmony was disrupted by a third person who was obviously already well drunk. Without being invited, a man in his forties, dressed in a chicken costume, came to interfere in their conversation with a lot of hearty laughter and inappropriate remarks, clearly hitting on Castiel while royally ignoring Dean yet less than a meter away from him.

When the man asked Castiel for his number for at least the sixth time of the evening, he rolled his eyes. Despite all the more or less subtle refusals from Castiel, the man did not seem to get the message and the good mood of the cowboy was gradually flying away as the stranger became touchier. Dean had held himself back until now, not wanting to make a scene and risk embarrassing Castiel, but when the stranger passed a hand stinking of cigarettes around his friend’s shoulder and that Castiel flinched, he decided that it was going too far.

Dean grabbed the stranger’s arm and push him away from Castiel, the man stumbling before catching himself at the bar.

"Hey, man. Get lost. I won’t tell you twice." Dean growled while standing in front of Castiel.

"Wow, easy pal!" The stranger replied, raising his hands in front of him, frowning. "It’s just a fra… fri-friendly discussion here."

It was more than obvious that the alcohol had reached what was left of his brain. Dean did not move an inch.

"Why don’t you go make friends somewhere else, pal?" Dean said in an icy voice. "Get out of here."

Eventually, the man grumbled, but walked away without further ado. Dean turned back to Castiel who raised an eyebrow in his direction. Dean pinched his lips. Great, did he just ruin his chances with him just because he wasn’t able to contain his emotions? Well done Winchester.

"Okay, so it’s not just a costume, is it? You’re a real caped crusader." Castiel finally joked with a happy smile on his face.

Dean relaxed and laughed with him, returning to his place near the bar.

"That’s it, keep laughing. Somebody had to save you from that ambush cowboy." Dean replied, returning to his empty glass.

"Save me, eh? Who says I wasn’t ready to draw at all times?" Castiel pouted.

Dean rolled his eyes.

"No offense, but you could barely aim straight with all the vodka you’ve been drinking." He teases softly, smiling at Castiel.

"Mmh, point for you." He mumbled.

And Dean couldn’t have put it better. Castiel did not stop at this drink and Dean was truly impressed that his friend had not yet vomited the contents of his stomach on his shoes. On the contrary, Castiel seemed to be a happy drunk and, although his words were increasingly incoherent, he also became more tactile. Dean didn’t mind, laughing at his friend’s behavior. He couldn’t really blame him for overstepping his bounds, even a skilled party boy like Dean was sometimes fooled by alcohol.

However, around 3:00 in the morning, the bar began to kick out the last customers and Dean found himself with a drunken Castiel completely slumped against him on a bench in the streets of Chicago.

"And it was just crazy because… because his dog wasn’t even white, you know? And then…

"Cas?" Dean gently cut him off, with a small smile on his face. "I think it’s time to go home. Do you live around?"

Castiel pouted. Dean could not help but think that, even when being completely drunk, Castiel was no less pleasant and attractive. The headscarf had still not left his eyes, blocking his face and hiding it from Dean’s curious gaze. Only two orbs of a brilliant blue continued to stare at him with an absent look, almost swallowed by the black of the pupil.

"… Mmh, maybe?" Castiel mumbled before slumping a bit more against Dean, sleepy.

Dean raised an eyebrow, looking around for his car.

"Okay… Okay, I’ll walk you out, right? What’s your address?"

Once again, Castiel grumbled before shrugging and stared at the pavement with intensity, as if it was whispering all his secrets to him. Dean bit his lip and swore inwardly. It was out of the question for him to leave Castiel alone outside in such a state or to take the risk of calling him a taxi. 

"Well, come here buddy."

Dean grabbed Castiel by the waist and guided him to the end of the street. The journey to his car was not easy, but in the end he managed to put his companion in the passenger seat before taking the wheel. Fortunately, the alcohol had already somewhat faded in his system but he took the time to drive slowly. Dean glanced uneasily at Castiel from time to time, now leaning against the window and observing the landscape in silence. He had become mute, which gave Dean time to think.

What the hell was he doing? Driving a completely drunk stranger home was like the beginning of a very bad situation. Was it considered kidnapping? Dean nervously licked his lips after another look at Castiel. They didn’t know each other that well yet, and the last thing Dean wanted was to scare his friend.

But at a closer look, he had no other choice. Castiel was unable to take care of himself at the moment and it was not an option for Dean to take the risk of putting him in danger. What if he ran into the other jerk at the bar and took him home? No, Dean didn’t want to think about it. At least he had a warm bed and painkillers waiting for him at home.

When they reached their destination, Castiel was even more apathetic than when he left the bar. He kept mumbling anecdotes that Dean was supposed to understand as he was helping him up the three floors to his apartment.

A bunch of encouragement and much patience later, Dean finally closed the door of his home behind them. Castiel immediately took an interest in his AC/DC key ring for a minute before looking around. He seemed to frown under his mask.

"Pepper?" He suddenly called.

Dean frowned too. Was Castiel looking for someone? Dean lost some of the color on his face. Was it his girlfriend? His wife?

"Who is Pepper?" He asked without being able to help himself.

Castiel seemed confused for a moment before shrugging and mumbling.

"Goldfish."

This time, Dean really had to hold back a laugh at the stupidity of the situation.

"Okay, well, I’m sure Pepper is doing just fine. Now you’re going to go wash up and go to sleep." Dean sighed by dragging him further into his apartment, shaking his head.

When they arrived in the bathroom, it was more than obvious that Castiel was equally incapable of doing anything without help. Dean sat patiently on the edge of the tub while his friend stared at him with fascination, complimenting every little detail with a slurred voice. Finally, Dean knelt before him and began to take off his boots. Castiel did not protest, so Dean did the same with his socks, his long black leather coat, his belt, his gloves, his hat and everything else until the cowboy was only in jeans and shirt in front of him.

However, the headscarf was still in place and Dean hesitated before removing it. The piece of fabric was large and covered at least the entire upper part of Castiel’s face, hiding what he perceived to be prominent cheekbones to go with his square jaw. He swallowed. Castiel was simply focusing on an invisible spot near Dean’s ear when he finally decided to untie the knot behind Castiel’s face to remove the mask.

If Dean had believed that Castiel’s eyes were mesmerizing until then, it was nothing compared to the irresistible portrait that had just appeared before him. Dean held his breath for a moment while he allowed himself to admire each piece of skin offered to his sight, Castiel totally oblivious of the red appearing on the cheeks of his host.

He didn’t know after how long he was able to get out of this state —"No kidding, stop looking at people like that, Dean, you’re gonna scare him" he told himself— but he managed to get rid of the costume and make-up in turn before escorting Castiel to his room.

His friend was now more than silent, letting himself be pushed around when Dean laid him out among the blankets. The effect was almost immediate: barely wedged in his pillows, Castiel closed his eyes and his face relaxed. He fell asleep a few seconds later after turning to his side. Dean smiled softly, unable to prevent this urge of tenderness from growing in his chest at this sight. As a precaution, he decided to leave an empty basin and painkillers on the bedside table before letting Castiel sleep.

He’d take the couch tonight.

* * *

Dean awoke to the sweet sound of someone puking his guts out in the bathroom. He sighed. He had not had enough sleep to his liking and the filtering light in his living room kept coming to attack his eyes. Aware that he could not go back to sleep anyway, he decided to go and check on his guest. Dean more or less effectively dragged himself to the barely opened door of his bathroom before gently knocking against the wood.

"…Cas?" He called out in a hoarse voice. "Is everything okay?"

The bathroom became silent a moment after his words before a barely human grunt resounded. Dean sympathized with him.

"I know." He replied gently. "The towels are in the right cupboard if you want to take a shower. And, uh, I should have clean toothbrushes in the first drawer. Take your time."

Another grunt, this time softer, rose again from the bathroom and Dean closed the door before moving on to the kitchen. Ten minutes later, he heard the shower turn on.

When Castiel was finally able to appear in the kitchen with a slightly more presentable face, though still sick, Dean had already had time to prepare the coffee and a pancake batter.

"Morning sunshine." Dean joked, glancing behind him and trying not to look at his friend again for hours." Was yesterday’s rodeo a little too much for you?"

Castiel stared at him with wide eyes before coughing. Dean turned around, raising an eyebrow.

"I, uh… Hello." A silence. Dean smiled kindly as Castiel looked everywhere but in his direction. "Okay, this is going to be really awkward, but, uh... did we… you know?"

Dean adopted a confused expression before blushing until the roots of the hairs, mortified. He really had to learn to choose his words more carefully if he wanted to stop finding himself in these kinds of awkward situations.

"No!" He hastened to rectify. "No, by rodeo I meant... Well… You drank a lot yesterday and I didn’t know where you lived, so I drove you here. The only thing that happened was you calling for your goldfish." Dean let out a little laugh. "But you slept in the bed and I slept on the couch. My sore back is proof."

Castiel seemed to relax a little before finally getting closer. He still seemed a bit embarrassed, probably because of everything he had imposed on Dean the night before, but at least his shy smile had come back to illuminate his face.

"Thank you. I would have hated not to remember that if we had spent the night together." He replied by looking up at him, and Dean could already say that it was not really a joke.

"Oh." That was the only intelligent answer he could come up with.

All this had the talent of relaxing the atmosphere while Dean served a large cup of coffee to Castiel, throwing him soft glances from time to time. His friend took the cup between his fingers before blowing gently on the surface of his coffee.

"I don’t know how to thank you." Castiel said as Dean went back to his pancakes. "If I invite you next time, do you think you can forget all the embarrassing things I probably did yesterday?"

Dean felt a pleasant sensation in his chest as a fine smile bloomed on his face. Castiel seemed almost in the right place in his kitchen, drinking coffee as if it was the most natural thing to do in the world. He nodded slowly, feeling his zygomatic pulling his lips up.

"Yee-haw cowboy." Dean huffed.

Castiel shook his head, amused, while Dean was simply delighted to learn that there would be a next time.

"On one condition though." He quickly added.

"Yes?" Castiel asked, curious.

"Undisguised this time." 

And just like that, this wonderful laugh was back, filling the room with a light and warm atmosphere.

"Deal."

* * * @winchester-reload Hello! Again, I wrote more than I should have written for this story but I’m pretty happy with the result, even though it gave me a hard time. Hope you enjoyed it!

You can find the whole series on Ao3

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Post Mission Exhaustion and Teddy Bears

Happy Father’s Day 2020 Everyone. Even though we all in one way or another struggle with the world around us via one crisis or another, we must always find the time to appreciate one of the few people in our lives that made us who we are as people, our fathers. Whether they be birth, foster, adopted, figurative or step dads, if they helped you grow with as much love and care as a good father should, one can find the time to acknowledge that, especially on this day. This fic is dedicated to those good dads everywhere. If you may, please reply or reblog this for any to any constructive criticisms, I’d appreciate it. 

 The slowing hums of the motorcycle echoed across the cave, about one or two bats hanging from the cave walls taking flight as a result due to an unintended spook. Finally,the motorcycle comes to a stop, its two passengers getting off. Rather actually, its driver, decked in prominently black body suit with blue stripes on his arms capping off with fingerstripes, strips at the calf parts of his boots and a light blue domino mask getting off after flipping the motorcycle's engine switch off. Upon standing though, he remembers the other passenger, a 9 year old little fella dressed in a red vest, black gloves and pants and green steel toed pixie boots, his son currently snoring peacefully while his arms hold on very tightly to the driver, his Dad, all throughout the ride.  

  Still snoring and at ease, Robin was carefully lifted off his seat by his father and said father began his short trek from the motorcycle in this deep, dark yet somehow comforting lair filled to the brim with many trophies from a mechanical Tyrannosaurus, a giant Penny, a scaled up Joker card and other tokens of the owner’s previous adventures, all the other the inviting bedroom a few stories above their current spot. All throughout this trek, the Bludhaven based crime fighter known as Nightwing, found each and every step of trek to the Batcave elevator and eventually his old bedroom getting slightly heavier. Clearly, tonight’s patrol drains both father and son. A note he keeps in mind; always make sure if you take on Penguin, make sure you have enough Shark Repellent Bat Spray in your utility belts, those sharks can take quite a bit. But while Richard Grayson-Wayne can keep that self advice tip in mind, that right does not grab his attention nearly as much as the sight of his son Jake sleeping peacefully as the two Graysons make their way to their comforting destination. 

   As of the day, it will now be until two days left before Ricahrd’s beloved wife Kori, the veteran known by many as Starfire, and his ‘Starshine’ Mar’i both return from their week long vacation to the latter’s home planet of Tamaran. It was basic Royalty business as fitting the daughter of a monarch his wife was but at least it was a golden chance for his little girl to connect with her roots. Jake opted to stay behind alongside his dad, stating that while Starfire and Nightstar would be away, Nightwing and Robin can fill the role for protecting both Bludhaven, current home of the legendary Titans, and even the sister city of Gotham, filling in for parts of the city not even the Batman can look out during his own patrols. Speaking of whom, both Bruce and Tim should be coming in from their patrols within the next hour; Richard reluctantly had to accept Bruce’s order to take the tired and exhausted Jake and himself back to Manor and call it a night early in spite of the young Robin wanting to continue alongside his Grandpa and Uncle Tim. However Richard much shared his son’s enthusiasm for continuing after their battle with the Penguin, the first Boy Wonder understood that both his son and him needed their rest, The Bat stating that he and whoever he has alongside him tonight can handle it from there; his first son had his own to tend to. 

   Finally, Richard, with his son held firmly in his arms and his head peacefully resting his shoulders, finally made it to that old bedroom he called his own during the later half of his childhood; based on not just the old ‘D.G’ sign still hanging on his door, but upon opening said door, almost every facet, from the telescope to the left of his King size bed pointing out to the window, blue and red velvet carpet on the floor, the photo of a younger self alongside his parents Mary and his first father John on the nightstand and of course the Flying Graysons poster hanging on his wall right behind the pillows of his old yet sturdy bed. 

   Carefully laying Jake down on the bed, Richard then quietly shook his son on his shoulders until finally the young Robin’s eyes on his mask began slightly opening.

“....uh, Dad?” 

Richard peeled the mask of his face while gently stroking Jake’s hair comfortingly, “Hey, buddy. You did great out there.”

“Are we back at the Manor?” Jake asks while very lightly giggling.

“Yeah,  we’re back” Richard says with a light and tired yet all too proud smile. 

“Standing back up, Richard then walks to his old dresser, taking out of pajamas, really t shirts and sweatpants, for both himself and son while the latter lifted himself up on his bed taking off his own mask and the boots off his tired feet.  He then gently tosses the shirt and pants meant for Jake. 

 “Alright, Jake, there should be a bathroom right across from this room. You can change and brush your teeth in there, okay?” Richard informs his son with a smile on his face. 

 With a quick “Yes sir’ salute, Robin rushes to that bathroom and almost as quickly came back out as simply Jake Grayson, ready for bed. 

  Within a quick few minutes, Nightwing takes his turn of changing and brushing his teeth, emerging as Richard Grayson shortly afterwards, coming into his room finding his son already laying on the bed, head on those ever soft pillows, his feet bare and showing out of the blanket he’s wrapped in, for intents and purposes, Jake was practically out cold. Richard was ready to follow suit with he notices a quick something glistening in his eye courtesy of the moonlight shining through his window. 

 That glistening was emitting from an old chest right at the foot of the bed, mostly likely where his collectibles from both the Circus and Bruce’s gifts to him were stored in. Gently opening it, Richard found what was that moonlight shining off from; a yellow cape, worn around a teddy bear, said teddy with an ‘R’ stitched on the right side of torso and a domino mask. He quickly pieces it together; good old Robin Bear, when there was BatBear for him in protecting against the nightmares, Robin Bear did the same for Bruce himself. Now granted, there’s little chance in hell Bruce would have this little guy on his bed again after Richard left. Maybe someone else can take it if Bruce doesn’t want it.....

  Ricahrd quickly puts the thought aside as upon sighting his sleeping son, he catches on to one thing Jake’s missing on him. With Robin Bear in his hands, Richard goes through their travel bags to find the one thing Jake likes on him at this moment: decked in a black cape, a Bat logo stitched on its torso and wearing that familiar cowl, the nightmare to nightmares, the Dark Knight of dreams, BatBear. 

  With both bears in tow, Richard finally climbs onto the bed , his son Jake positioned in a way in which the latter was in his dad’s arms and can be held close. As sleepiness starts methodically kicking in, Richard hands BatBear into his son’s arms, Jake opening his eyes to realize what was he carrying before letting out a content hum and shutting his green eyes again. 

“You like BatBear huh?” Richard asks Jake tiredly. 

“Yep”, came the sleepy reply 

As Richard’s own blue eyes began slowly drifting shut, he says “you know, we have a Robin Bear here...maybe you can have it too and...”

“Nah” , says Jake as sleep finally starts kicking in fully, “Robin..Bear...for you....Love you, Tati”. With that bit of Romani, Jake’s light snores finally came back 

 Feeling his heart swelling at the same time his mind begins switching to nap mode, Richard drowsily and his eyes closed takes Robin Bear in his arms and pressing a soft kiss on his son’s temple, “Love you too, Stardust” 

The next morning as Alfred Pennyworth tends to his morning routine, he notices upon inspecting Master Richard’s room said master in deep, restful sleep, snoring at a reasonable noise level, his arms wrapped around Master Jacob whom has his head on his father's chest, equally snoring peacefully. To their sides, BatBear and Robin Bear side by side to their respective owners. With soft smile, Alfred closes the door shut, he’ll tend to them when they decide on waking up later. 

  In the meantime, those Nightmare stopping duo were saving their dreams yet again 

Dedicated to   @mothnem​ @lightdusk96 @wisegirlandseaweedbrainforever @tarisilmarwen @secondgenerationnerd @nightglider124 @fireflyxrebel-writes @xaphrin @bluerene @shishidoryofan @loubuggins @dar-draws @kryallaorchid @blueraspberrymilkshake and many others

Sidekicks and sex pollens

Co-written with @inhumanshadows

Tags: @18aquamarine-flower18 @russiangeckosexparty @lordparadox @heartbreaker6995

Word count: 3.3k

Ao3 version with gifs

Being Poison Ivy's sidekick it wasn't uncommon for you to have to deal with the fellow sidekicks of heroes like Batman. 

The old Robin, now going by Nightwing, and the new Robin had showed up to your bosses greenhouse and Ivy grew bored of the fight so she left you to your own devices to take care of them.

This particular greenhouse was a personal favorite and personal achievement of yours. You sat on a makeshift throne, looking the Bat's sidekicks over... 

There was no denying they were attractive.

"Hello boys... looks like we have a battle of the sidekicks going on, huh?"

And you knew they were attracted to you too. 

Looking down you saw the erections straining against their suits caused by the fact that only a pair of leaves covered your lower half leaving the rest of you in the nude. 

"This'll be much easier if you just give yourself up," Nightwing yelled. 

"What? Do you need some alone time to handle your... Situation?" You teased pointing down to his crotch.

Try as he might, you could see the stoicism behind Nightwing's eyes falter as you mention his "problem."

"That's none of your business!" He answers.

"Don't feel too bad birdbrain. Your junior over there is sporting one too." You comment, pointing to Robin.

"How do you know this isn't residual from the porn I was watching earlier?" Robin quipped thinking he was being smart. 

"Will you shut up," the older man sighed. 

"Why don't we have some fun boys," you grinned, vines growing out behind you and grabbing the two of them.

The two of them let out "manly" yells as the vines capture their arms and legs, suspending them slightly in the air.

You stand, sauntering over to them, hand on your chin.

"What to do... what to do..." You say to yourself letting your free hand brush against each of the sidekicks.

You look to them. "You boys have any ideas? Robin? I mean if your problem was from something you watched earlier... why don't you enlighten me?"

Using a trick Ivy taught you, you kissed his cheek, letting out a pollen which he inhaled. 

Uncontrollably Robin spurted out, "I want to get fucked in the ass so I watch gay porn while I finger myself." 

"Seriously dude," Nightwing groaned.

"Oh Nightwing your buddy here can't be the only one here with some dirty little secrets," you said using the same pollen on the other sidekick. 

"I've always found you really sexy," He shouted wishing he hadn't.

"Well... that trick works better than I thought... Anything else you boys wanna tell me?"

You waited... no response.

"Oh boys... you wound me... " You say, feigning hurt. "Well... I'll tell you what. How 'bout we play a game? Something like 20 questions, hmm? You tell me something you may not want others to hear and mayybe... I'll tell you two some naughty little things... How's that?"

"You start since you already got us to spill our guts," Robin said knowing he was going to like this game more than he'll ever admit. 

"Alright then... I like when my... Partners you could say are under my total control," you smirked, "you're up." 

"I like to be tied up," Robin admitted. 

"Like this?" You said making your vines grip him tighter. 

The moan Robin let out as you tighten the vines was like music to your ears.

"That means nothing..." Robin quickly states.

"Whatever you say Wonder Boy..." You turn your attention to the Nightwing. "Now... what about you? You still haven't said anything... It's only fair." 

"I... I..." Nightwing starts.

"You're a big boy... I'm sure you've got some fantasies in that brain of yours." You say using the vines to bring him closer and whisper in his ear.

"I... wanna kiss you... all over." He relents.

"You first," you grin kissing his jaw making him groan. 

Robin squirmed as much as the vines would allow him wanting to be the one your lips were on as he watched. 

Your hand gripped his cock through his suit while your lips assaulted his neck.

"Oh...fuck..." Nightwing moans, hips moving on his own.

You pull away as he groans. "None of that now..."

"Wait! Come back!"

"Now... should I tell you guys something? Or... Robin? Do you have something you wanna tell me?" 

"I want you to touch me!" Robin exclaims.

You chuckle to yourself, waving your hand and making a vine snake around to be in front of Robin's face.

"Will this suffice?"

"I want your hands you asshole," Robin mumbled.

"Now thats no way to talk to the man that you want to make you cum so hard you might black out," you smiled reaching into his suit and grasping his hard cock. 

Robin moaned loudly with the first touch of skin to skin contact. 

"What about me?" Nightwing said desperately. 

"Oh don't worry babe i won't forget about you," you said pulling Robins cock out of his suit.

You run your fingers over each of the hard cocks in front of you.

"Well... I'm gonna have so much fun with these... Is that what you want Robin? Nightwing? You guys want me play with you? Tell me what you want."

"Please put your mouth on me," Robin begged. 

"Since you asked so nicely," you smiled taking a long lick up the shaft of his cock. 

Robin's eyes shut tight as you swirl your tongue around the tip. 

Nightwing groaned watching your mouth toy with Robin while your hand stroked him.

You slowly start to bob your head in shallow, short movements, enjoying the moans coming out of Robin's mouth.

"Oh Fuck! Keep going!" Robin moans.

You bobbed your head a few more times, taking notice of the ragged breathing before pulling off of Robin and quickly moving to Nightwing, swallowing the tip.

"But I'm so close," Robin grunts.

"Not yet bird boy," you wink before taking Nightwings cock back into your mouth. 

Now it's Nightwings turn to become a moaning mess as your lips work his cock. 

You know Robin is desperate to touch himself as his hands squeeze into tight fists between the vines making a show you quite enjoy watching.

You chuckle, vibrations going up the cock in your mouth. Nightwing tries to move his hips to put more of him into your mouth.

You wave barely thinking the thought and a vine wraps itself around his waist. You open your mouth and let the vine pull him away.

"Well boys... this was fun. But now I must make my exit." You give the boys an exaggerated bow. 

"However... I will leave you with one last present."

Two plants each on a table either side of you open to reveal beautiful petals, the centers releasing clouds of pollen, obscuring your form and filling the sidekicks noses.

"Don't go," they both gasp but you were gone. 

The vines release them and they put their cocks back into their suits scrambling around looking for you. 

"Where-where did he go?" Jason stammered. 

"I don't know," Dick said feeling his cock throbbing.

"What do we do now?" Jason questioned, wincing at how badly he needed to cum.

"Not much we can do now except go home..." Dick says. "Maybe take one of the plants and see what they sprayed us with..."

"I know what I wish I sprayed him with..." Jason says, not missing a beat.

"Come on... lets get home... maybe then these problems will go away."

"But I still gotta cum!" Jason whines

When they arrived home Jason returned to his bedroom not wasting a second to finish what you started with his own hand though he much would have rather it had been your's. 

Dick however tried his best to analyze the pollen they had taken but within fifteen minutes he couldn't help himself from touching his throbbing cock. 

He could hear Jason moaning from his room even all the way down in the cave and Dick's own moans started filling room.

Dick searched Bruce's computer files of logged villains and sidekicks until he found yours. 

"Mistletoe," he moaned staring at your picture as his hand stroked his cock.

Back in Jason's room the current Robin was furiously jacking off, wishing again that his hand was yours or better yet, your mouth. He focused back on the feeling of your tongue running up and down the length before a warm feeling wrapped itself around his cock.

"Oh fuck..." He moaned, cum shooting all over his chest and stomach.

Unknown to Jason, Dick was on the verge of cuming to images of you barely covered by foliage.

Dick came into his hand groaning your name. 

If only they knew that you yourself were busy jerking off in the privacy of your own home to the memory of their cocks in your mouth. 

This was an encounter none of you would forget and you all secretly hoped that you would run into one another again soon.

When you weren't helping Ivy, you did have a life and a day job being a forensic botanist for the GCPD. Right now you were on your lunch break and grabbing a slice or two from your favorite pizza place when in walks in an old friend.

You wave him over, taking notice of the younger guy next to him.

"Hey, Dick. It's Y/N... from the precinct."

"Y/N hey, it's been a while," Dick said shaking your hand. 

"Who's this?" You asked looking to the guy next to him. 

You couldn't quite place it but for some reason he seemed familiar. 

"This is Jason, Jason this is Y/N we used to work together," Dick responded. 

"Nice to meet you Jason, would you guys like to join me for a bite and catch up?"

"Sure, sounds great." Dick answers before going and getting his and Jason's usual.

"So... you and Dick used to work together? Back when he was a detective?" Jason asked and you nodded, "What did you do?"

"I'm a forensic botanist. It's not that interesting. Why don't you tell me about you Jason? How do you know our mutual friend?"

"Uh well we-" Jason stuttered trying to come up with an excuse that didn't involve outing themselves as crime fighting vigilantes but he was saved by Dick returning to the table, "Dick i was just telling Y/N how we met." 

"You see Jason was an underprivileged youth at the new center im working at," Dick said right away, clearly making Jason offended.

"Oh so you're working at a youth center now?

That's great, everybodys been wondering what you've been up to since you left," you told him.

"Yeah we help keep kids like Jason off the streets and away from drugs," Dick continued. 

You all sat and ate, making small talk here and there, catching up with Dick.

"It was fun catching up with you Dick. Jason, nice to meet you but I gotta get back to the precinct and wrap up some cases. You should stop by, I'm sure the rest of the guys would be happy to see you."

You clear up your area, bid them goodbye and head out, still trying to figure out why Jason seemed familiar.

As you were leaving Jason turned to Dick, "I feel like I know that guy." 

"Well yeah I just introduced you to him," Dick said sarcastically as he popped the last bite of his pizza crust in his mouth. 

"No smartass I feel I know him from somewhere but I can't tell where... Anyways... All we ever gonna talk about what happened last week?" 

"No Jason. We are never going to talk about what happened," Dick spat back, "but I do have a lead on where Mistletoe and Ivy might be going tomorrow night." 

"And where's that?" Jason said confused.

"Y/N mentioned a big botanist convention a few towns over this weekend.

"Did he? I kind of zoned out during all that boring science talk," Jason said finishing his own pizza. 

"It sounds like there's gonna be some pretty rare plants there that Ivy and Mistletoe won't be able to resist seeing for themselves."

"Great... so we have to go and watch a bunch of stupid plants..." Jason muttered. He did admit that Dick had a point, rare plants were like drugs to Ivy and her hot sidekick.

What the fuck? Jason thought. Did I just call a bad guy hot? Especially one that...

Jason stopped thinking as he felt his cock stir in his pants.

"Son of a-" He curses.

"What?" Dick asks. "What the hell? What are you thinking about? Actually don't answer that we need to tell Bruce about this lead. Lets go."

After Bruce gave them the go ahead to scope out the convention the two walked around the main floor with the fake badges Alfred had made them. 

Dick was on high alert taking note of which plants were of highest value while Jason was bored out of his mind. 

Dick overheard a pair of botanists mention the genetically engineered one of a kind plant being held in a locked room upstairs only those with VIP badges could get into. 

"We need to go upstairs," Dick told Jason. 

"Great I could use a snack break," Jason said in relief. 

"No you idiot, Ivy and Mistletoe are going to be after this so called one of a kind plant." 

Dick and Jason snuck into the master exhibit but all of the guards were laying the floor passed out. 

Dick leaned down, putting two fingers to one of the guards necks, "he still has a pulse, they must be here already"

"Really? What was your first clue?"

"Just keep an eye out." Dick ordered.

They fanned out, heads on swivels as they worked towards the VIP section, finding more unconscious botanists along the way.

"It's a beautiful plant, Ivy... How long until the bird brigade is gonna show up?"

"Not long... I trust you can handle them?" A female voice said. No doubt obviously Ivy.

"Sure thing."

The sound of shattering glass made the vigilantes rush toward the sounds of your voices only to barge into an empty room.

"Where did they go?" Robin asked.

"It's so good to see you again boys," you said from behind them. 

The duo turned around but you already had vines shooting towards them. 

Nightwing was able to deflect the vine with his staff, Robin however was trapped once more. 

"Not again," he mumbled struggling to break free while Nightwing bolted towards you.

You and Nightwing fought but in the end you had managed to capture him in another web of vines. 

"I see you two are making me work for it this time," you said sighed.

"What do you and Ivy want with those plants?!" Robin barked.

"Ugh... really? Shop talk? What? Do you think I'm gonna monologue Ivy's plan so you can run and tell the Bat what we plan to do? No... I'm gonna have some more fun."

You snap your fingers and the boys are blasted with another cloud of pollen.

All of a sudden the boys started to feel hot, uncomfortably so.

"What... what did you... do..." Nightwing says between pants, sweat starting to form.

"Oh you'll find out soon enough. But I better give us some more privacy."

You reach into a small pouch on your hip, pulling out a few seeds, tossing them around the room, vines sprouting and blocking the exits.

"This time I plan on having my way with you," you said pulling Nightwings pants down exposing his ass. 

"Tell me if you want me to stop," you whispered in his ear as you toyed with his entrance with your fingertips. 

"Don't fucking stop," Nightwing grunted, groaning as you pushed your cock inside him while making direct eye contact with Robin.

"Oh fuck... you're tight... Tell me. Do you like the feeling of my cock in your ass?" You punctuate the sentence by nibbling on Nightwing's ear.

"Yes... yes I do. Oh god. Please keep moving!"

You hum in agreement, licking the shell of his ear as you slowly increase your pace, still keeping eye contact with Robin. You can see something in his eyes... envy.

"You doing okay over there Robin? You enjoy watching me fuck your partner? Or do you wish it was you I had my cock inside of? I remember that dirty little secret you told me the last time we met."

"Please... Fuck me," Robin begged. 

You pulled out of Nightwing, positioning yourself behind Robin and tugging his pants down. 

"What a nice ass you have," you said giving it a firm smack. 

Robin sighed but it turned into a moan when you roughly pushed your cock inside of him. 

“Oh wow! You both feel amazing” you say, thrusting into robin’s ass. “This is the first time anyone’s ever fucked either of you isn't it?”

“Yes.” Both boys moan.

You run your hands around Robin’s front, hands on his chest under his shirt.

You continue to push in and out of Robin, occasionally snapping your hips.

Robin moans in time with your thrusting, slowly becoming more and more undone.

Without even having to touch his cock he was cumming hard while you continued thrusting through his release. 

You could tell Nightwing was just as close to his own climax so you returned your attention to the original sidekick, getting on your knees in front of him and taking his cock in your mouth, tasting the cum already leaking from him.

You hollow out your cheeks and suck on the leaking cock, taking it to the base as it starts to twitch violently, shooting rope after rope of hot cum down your throat.

“Oh shit!” Nightwing moans as you suck every last drop from him. You pull away licking your lips and then go back to Robin lapping up the leftover cum from his sensitive cock.

“Ah! Fuck...”

“Well... that was delicious boys.  And impressive. I mean. Boy wonder came without me even touching him. Anything you wanna say? Did you have fun?”

"Best... Night... Ever..." Robin said exhausted from his orgasm. 

"Good to hear, maybe I'll let you cum again if you act like a good boy," you teased. 

"Mistletoe," a deep voice said behind you. 

"Batman," you sighed turning around, "you always have to ruin the fun." 

"What did you do to Nightwing and Robin," he questioned. 

"Nothing that they didn't want me to do," you grinned.

Batman looks over to his sidekicks, still bound in vines, pants around their ankles.

“I’m sure... where’s Ivy and the plant?”

“Look, like I told the bird twins. I’m not telling ya. Now. I got stuff to do and you have other things to deal with. Ta-ta!” 

You throw down more seeds that release another bout of pollen while many vines converge on Batman allowing you to make your escape.

“See you soon boys!” You shout, voice gradually getting quieter.

The Bat would’ve chased after you if he wasn’t worried about Nightwing and Robin... he was thankful there was more pollen left to take and analyze.

"Are you guys alright?" Bruce asked them as they checked on the red marks around their wrists left from the vines. 

"I'm fine, a little embarrassed," Dick grumbled. 

"I'm not that was the best orgasm I've ever had," Jason said proudly making Bruce shake his head in disgust. 

"Let's go back to the cave, maybe I'll be able to find something in this pollen you didn't," Bruce said trying to change the subject. 

"Something tells me we haven't seen the last of Poison Ivy and Mistletoe," Dick stated. 

To be continued...

The Friend

Summary: When Sean is six, he creates an imaginary friend. Jack lingers into adulthood and their friendship isn’t as perfect as the little boy had hoped.

When Sean is six, he spends the night at his friend's house. Max's big brother dared them to stay up all night. As much as he tried, the little boy couldn't stop himself from dozing off before midnight. Max teased him about his failure until it got out of hand. Years later, Sean would look back on it all and conclude that Max was a bad friend. In response to the teasing, he invents an imaginary friend. Jack is kind and forgiving. He doesn't care if Sean is loud and instead joins in with the noise. More importantly, at least to the boy, he never sleeps. He is there for him whenever Sean requires him to be. He has no mind with which to object or act otherwise if he wanted. He is the perfect friend. Jack has more energy than Sean. He can continue to run around the school track while Sean has to call it quits. As children, they laugh and suggest it's because Sean plays too many video games. They know their logic is flawed. Sean runs around with his friends as much as they sit down to play on game consoles. But like all children, Sean grows up. Teenagers aren't meant to have imaginary friends. When he was younger, conversing with Jack was seen as sweet. Now older, he'd begun to leave childish things like invisible buddies behind. However, Jack lingers and Sean notices him on occasions. One such moment was after he plays the PlayStation version of Spider-Man 2 and they design a superhero together. Jack is a ghost, no longer required to serve his purpose. He collects figurative dust in the corner of his best friend's mind. Each time he is brought back, even if he can't express it, he is grateful. It prevents him from completely fading into non-existence. Existing as a faded memory is all he really knows by this point. One day, he'll be able to say barely existing is purely numbing. However, for the moment, he doesn't know better. For now, his 'life' and actions continue to be entirely at Sean's mercy. Soon, Sean is 23 and passing 1000 subscribers on his YouTube channel. Jack is proud of him. He smiles on his own accord. It disappears when he feels the muscles in his cheeks tug themselves upwards. Sean is nowhere to be seen. He hasn't existed without Sean being present before. He's not sure what to do without him or how to find him. Awareness of free will dumps him in an empty room. It is only him, the floorboards, four bare walls and a single door. He needs to know where Sean is. How does he proceed without his creator instructing him? Despite all the energetic activity he was subjected to as a child, he is clumsy as he runs towards the door. He falls on his face in front of Sean's TV. His hands sting from absorbing the impact. Upon laying eyes on his only friend, he realises they are wearing the exact same outfit. Neither of them know how to deal with this development. The two of them eventually progress past 'What the fuck?!' 'Don't ask me!'. Becoming real is the strangest thing he's experienced thus far. If he came into contact with something real like a desk, his body would reacted the same way as Sean's because he couldn't imagine a body clipping through surfaces like a badly designed character model. Now when he sits on a sofa, he actually feels the seat underneath his body. Being alive, being able to feel things for the first time is beyond any expectations he could have had. It's July, summer is underway. If he'll be able to register the sensation now, he wants to have the sun on his exposed skin. Sean laughs when he hears this and says it's a shame they don't live in a place where sunshine is more common. A particularly hot day arrives and Sean brings a tub of Ben and Jerry's ice cream back to the cabin. It's cold and chocolatey, with little chewy bits of brownie. Jack falls in love instantly. He goes out and buys more flavours any time the sky warms his skin. Sean playfully teases him about getting fat if his habit continues. The Jacksepticeye channel becomes theirs, not just Sean's. They both play games and grumble to each other about how slow things take to get uploaded thanks to the cabin's terrible broadband. Anything personal like a Q&A or comment reading video remains purely Sean's territory. Their arrangement works, especially with Jack editing into the night so Sean could sleep. Months pass and the weather cools. Unlike warmth, he hates being unable to have complete control of his body as it is overtaken by tiny shaking movements. Sean tells him he's just shivering. If he puts on another layer of clothing, it won't be so bad. His friend seems happier in general. He's not quite so lonely anymore. Jack is glad to be able to contribute to that in any way. He notices Sean making himself hot chocolate one day in December. He's confused when he is abruptly forbidden from making or tasting the drink himself. A week into February, everything becomes clear. "Hey Jack, happy birthday!" Sean hands him a mug of milky brown liquid. He accepts it hesitantly. "But it's your birthday. I got you a present and everything." "Yeah but you need to have a birthday too. And February 7th the best day to have one, in my opinion. Might be the tiniest bit biased on that though." He grins. "Go on, I've been wanting to see what you think of hot chocolate." Later, after Jack has made a few cups of the drink for himself, he'll realise this first serving was a little milk heavy. However, his obliviousness is beneficial. He drinks it eagerly once it cools a little, his first ever birthday present. Sean promises to get him something better next year, once they're more sure of Jack's likes and dislikes. Jack tells Angus about it. The Australian hunter appeared three months before him, as a result of the Survival Hunter series. With only the other for company, they rapidly develop a close friendship. Angus understands how strange existence is. Together, they discuss nature and watch David Attenborough or compete against each other in multiplayer mode of various games. In time, he notices something wrong. At first, in the summer of 2014, Angus begins to sleep in longer. It isn't exactly alarming but it is certainly a change in behaviour. By the time they are discussing hibernation, the wildlife expert is getting forgetful. By the end of 2015, he's constantly in his room, resting. Angus is a shadow, quite literally a faded memory, and Jack knows exactly who's to blame for his friend's condition. He returns to Sean multiple times, forever attempting to persuade him to bring the Survival Hunter series back to the channel. Time after time, Sean argues there isn't anywhere he can take the series. If he thought harder, maybe their creator would find a way to stop it all. He's been so accommodating before that Jack struggles to understand why Sean is so unwilling to cooperate. The first crack shows. When Sean tells him about breaking up with his girlfriend, he provides any support his friend needs from him. Months later, Sean is telling Jack about a Danish artist he's befriended. He gushes about how much he likes her art and how easy it is to talk to her. One day, Jack teases him about having a crush on Signe. With a short, self conscious laugh, Sean admits they were actually dating now and that he hoped to invite her to Ireland soon. Jack ruffles his hair, much to Sean's chagrin. Dude's in love again. Good on him. When she does eventually set foot in their home country, Jack keeps away. She may be a twin but Sean definitely isn't. If she saw a duplicate of her boyfriend, there would be a lot of explaining to do. Seeing as she was solely here to spend time with him, it would be best if they avoided having to say "Well, it's a long story...". Besides, Jack had something that required his own attention. He kept spotting Sean lurking around Jack and Angus' home. Except, he could have sworn their creator had a murderous glint in his eye. His appearance wasn't consistent either. Some occasions, his eyes would be dark or he'd have blood visible on his person. Other times, the intruder simply gave the impression of being unhinged. The problem was that Jack couldn't get a good look at the stalker. The guy would always be in the corner of his eye or disappear as soon as the two made eye contact. Jack could almost say the evil Sean glitched out of reality. He questions if this is a new 'ego' as they'd come to call the two Sean lookalikes. Waking up with brown hair and making dinner with the top being green was a little disorientating. He didn't even realise his hair had changed until he went to the bathroom and shocked himself. Yes, he knew Sean was dyeing his hair for charity in response to Mark doing so. He'd even received a photo from the new grass top himself about the change. What he didn't know was that he'd change appearance too. He checks on Angus. No, his hair was still the natural brown. Sean later gives him forewarning before making an appointment at a tattoo parlour. Despite this, Jack does a double take when the Bold Hunter's Mark appears on his right arm. When the summer of 2016 begins, Sean brings up the superhero they'd designed in 2004. After filming with Ninja Sex Party, he's got a red suit and a lot of ideas. The night of July 10th, a younger version of Sean with his current hairstyle stood at his door. The teenager introduces himself as Jackieboy Man, or Jackie for short. Jackie is the breath of fresh air Jack didn't realise he needed. The 16 year old boy is brimming with energy, enough to match his own. He doesn't seem to have actual superpowers but the older ego assures him that's okay. He introduces him to Batman, one of the most famous non-powered heros. More importantly, Jackie is someone to talk to when Angus is busy spending the majority of the day resting. Within days, they are firm friends. Despite his age and having only just been granted autonomy, Jackie proves his eagerness to play the hero he'd been designed to be. He's also very adept with technology. It isn't long before he's made some improvements to the house. Jack catches him trying to access the dark web at one point. The boy shrugs it off as making the most of his skills. After all, he'd been doing just that in Welcome To The Game. Jack remains skeptical. A month after Jackie appears, Sean messes around with a magic kit on camera. Shortly after the video is uploaded, a man wearing a cape and a cat mask finds himself before the three other egos. His cynicism makes Jack question whether they'll get along. He does like the mask though. Jack stares at Sean when he admits the magician was an unintentional character. He swears he will go prematurely bald from wanting to yank his hair out. Sure, Jack could understand his own beginnings as a separate entity. How could Sean have known that by calling himself Jack, his childhood imaginary friend of the same name would be given life? The same went for Angus. Their creator was entirely oblivious to the power a bad Australian accent and a few hundred subscribers held. By now, Sean should have learned his lesson. The new guy believes his name is Jack the Magnificent. It won't do. Jack wouldn't mind there being another Jack if it wasn't for the fact it would get confusing quick. Not to mention there would be two Jacks and a Jackie. Yes, it would be extremely confusing. Jack watches the magician's introductory video again. Fifty Amazing Magic Tricks from Marvin's Magic. Marvin. Marvin the Magician. Marvin the Magnificent. Marvin's face lights up when Jack suggests the name. It's almost like he's had an epiphany. Marvin's right, the name does fit him. Jack is glad he could help. The boost in Marvin's self confidence motivates him to practise his magic. He was able to conjure fire in the video. Logic dictates he can do it again. Jack and Jackie are ready to assist Marvin in whatever way they can with exploring the extent of his magical abilities. Within two weeks of Marvin's arrival, he is dragging a bloodied Jackie into the house. With no medical knowledge at his disposal apart from basic first aid, the incident ends with the youngest housemate being admitted to hospital. He doesn't wish for this to become a common occurrence but they should be better prepared. Perhaps having a doctor as back-up wouldn't be a bad idea. To his relief, Sean is all for it. He purchases a copy of Operation and a doctor outfit. It's a mystery why Dr Schneeplestein is given an awful German accent. Nevertheless, Jack his excited to welcome the doctor. He's unsure about the backstory. The guy's brought into the world with a disloyal wife who is blackmailing him. He knows they have children but can't remember their names or their ages. The doctor doesn't have a first name either. He was simply 'Dr Schneeplestein' in the Operation video. Like he did with Marvin, Jack attempts to find a name that suits the new ego. He goes through baby name websites, specifically ones featuring German names, with the doctor. They eventually bump into Heinrich which prompts a minute of deep thought before the nameless ego announces Henrik is the right name. Several days later, Jack learns of Elias, Heidi and Alina. In mid-October, the morning after Ninja Sex Party upload their music video for 'Cool Patrol', Jackie challenges him to an arm wrestle. He wins several matches. The young superhero giggles as he admits he's going easy on Jack. The two of them spend the following days exploring Jackie's new powers. Marvin shows up, either to watch or practise a defensive spell, while Henrik stood by. They soon establish that, along with technological expertise, Jackie has super strength, flight and lasers at his disposal. By far, his favourite power is the ability to fly. Jack comes out from a recording session towards the end of October to be ambushed by Marvin. He's questioned on whether he'd like a balloon. The minute he accepts, Marvin fetches the 'balloon'. When Henrik spots Jackie being transported around the room, floating while attached to a piece of string, he mutters something in German and retires to his area with coffee. As the month draws to a close, Sean offers him the opportunity to carve the pumpkin this year. He gladly accepts, only later remembering the weird stuff happening to the footage of several videos. He brings it up with his friend. Sean insists nothing will happen. Yes, he's building up to Antisepticeye making his debut appearance but that will be the second video of the day. Jack is skeptical but lets it slide. While their creator could be wildly irresponsible with his ideas at times, Jack trusts him not to deliberately put any of them in harm's way. He is even promised the dangerous upcoming character wouldn't be a threat between videos. During the carving, his nose begins leaking blood so he jokes about how big of a coincidence it was. Off screen he allows himself to be freaked out by the nosebleed. The actual bleeding nose isn't the issue. He's had nosebleeds before, namely when Jackie's aim was off during training. It's the timing that scares him. It's Halloween, with Antisepticeye due to show up today. This is too much of a coincidence. Despite not wanting to, he decides the show must go on. He says some uncharacteristically mean things to Gerald. When he argues with Sean, at least there's some reason to let insults slip. Gerald hasn't done anything wrong. It fails to matter when he is forced to lose control his body. Regardless of how much he'd love to resist, the knife slices through skin. He wakes up in a hospital bed. Dr Schneeplestein explains everything, advising Jack doesn't watch the video himself. He gets incredibly caught up in sudden, painful revelations as soon as he's left to his thoughts. Sean told him Antisepticeye wouldn't target the pumpkin video. Sean had lied. Apparently, his creator could deceive him without hesitation. Worst of all, he now knew how his 'friend' saw him. Expendable; Jack was expendable. He can't believe he'd trusted Sean like that. What was he thinking? Sean had gone against him in the past, namely ignoring his suggestions to improve the lives of the egos. Did he for one second consider how terrifying being suddenly robbed of your autonomy could be? Or suffering through being murdered by your own hand? Sure, the anaesthetic helped dull it to an ache. That didn't change the fact Jack would have a scar as a daily reminder of Sean's willingness to sacrifice the one he'd designed to be everything he wanted in a friend. If his life wasn't as important as Sean's, the difference should be so small it was inconsequential. By the time he is able to be discharged, he had forgiven Sean. Of course he was expendable. He was just made up like the others. No harm could come to Sean, he was too important to lose. None of them would exist without their creator. In a way, he should be thankful for being used as bait. At least he could still be relevant, unlike Angus. He'd been in Angus' position for years. Jack never wanted to feel like that again, as if he was nothing. He's never resented his basic character traits more. He hates that a little boy could force his best friend to always forgive him. He wouldn't be surprised if Sean committed genocide and Jack let it slide. Never sleepy, unable to stay angry at him forever, always willing to provide emotional support should he require it. Well, at least free will had allowed him to bend those rules at times. The truth was that Sean wasn't perfect and Jack didn't want to treat him as such. It didn't matter. The forgiveness comes too late to save Jackie. Sean's visit to the infirmary sparks another row. Frustrated with the disagreements, Jackie bursts into the room halfway through, screaming at them to stop. As soon as he had thundered off, both faces of the Jacksepticeye channel allowed themselves to resolve the latest issue calmly. "What are we doing? This constant arguing is getting us nowhere." "Tell me about it." Jack grumbled back. "Want to call a truce?" "I'm still furious you used me as bait. I don't know how you could have consciously done that." "I know. I'm not sure what I was thinking. Just wanted to give the subscribers something fun for Halloween, I guess. I-" "A community event where they post art would have been more fun." He interrupts. "Hey, I could do that next year." Sean's smile is cautious. "I promise I won't pull something like that again." His friend extends a fist with only his smallest finger out. He's got to be kidding. "What are you, five?" "Come on, humour me. Please?" Jack is reluctant but does it anyway. "You're a fucking idiot." "Don't we know it." Only one laughs. "This doesn't mean I'm going to let it slide just yet." He fidgets. Despite the stuff Schneeplestein had given him, the ghost of Jack's neck wound bothered him still. "Tell me about Antisepticeye. You've made a video with him so he'll be out there now. I should at least know what to look out for." Jack's biggest regret after that night isn't repeatedly allowing himself to forgive Sean. Instead, he becomes remorseful for not getting his friend to follow the young superhero. By the time either of them realise Jackie was yet to return, it was too late. Jack postpones his German studies to focus on bringing the youngest member of the household back to them. His efforts bear no fruit, even months later. The joint birthday celebrations go far better than either of them could have hoped. There are no ill feelings between the two of them on that day. The only fight they have is when Jack silences Sean's complaints of getting older by 'accidentally' smearing frosting on his face. Signe takes a photo of them, crumbs and frost littering their neon green hair. He keeps the photograph with the other reminders the two of them did have great times amongst the disagreements and resentment. He plays the first chapter of Bendy and the Ink Machine while Sean is away at PAX East and the other egos are sleeping. Sean's been hyped for this game for a while, Cuphead too, so Jack is leaving them for him to record. That said, there's no reason why he can't play it in his spare time. Later that month, he absentmindedly watches Sean's playthrough of it. "'The creator lied to us.' Well boohoo, people lie all the time. It's part of life." Jack had found that message on the wall intriguing when he'd played it. As much as he tried not to let Sean's comment get to him, it lingered. At least this time, he could exit the video and never return to it. The week after Angus' birthday, Chase Brody arrives with a name from the get-go. Unfortunately, he also has a wife who's divorcing him and a suicide attempt under his belt before meeting any of his fellow egos. Sean's done some stupid shit before but portraying a suicide? Really? Jack knows for a fact that his friend isn't one to see poor mental health and suicide as something to joke about. Nevertheless, Chase grows on him. Once you got past all the self deprecation and depression, he proved to be a cool guy who loved his two children. Unfortunately, the bullet Henrik has to extract from Chase's brain ruins his ability to perform complex actions with his left arm. "I'm not changing his character." Sean states during a gaming session. "Okay, but-" "Jack, I'm not doing it. This isn't me being stubborn and unwilling to compromise. People split up all the time and sometimes children are involved. A bunch of my subscribers will be able to relate to the situation, either as the parent or the child." "He shot himself in the head." "Unfortunately, that's something people in Chase's headspace consider doing." There's something in the way Sean speaks that worries Jack. "Some of them out there need proof things can change. I could show that." "You're not depressed." He's really unsure on how to have this conversation. "Well, no, but neither are you." They don't go further and Jack's guilt grows. He is sure he's missing something but he can't put his finger on it. They instead discuss topics that were more pleasant. Any miniscule progress Chase makes with his arm, Jack cheers him on. At least he understands where the issues lay with the latest ego. He wishes he was as in tune with Sean. He had been once. Now they were both watching their tongues in case either of them accidentally triggered a disagreement. Home wasn't so bad. He and Marvin still dedicated hours to locating Jackie but, as ever, no breakthroughs were made. However, progress was being made in other places. May brought a second cat into the household. The white feline was usually found lazing around with Jack and Chase or hanging out with Marvin's Abyssinian, Bastet. Jack feels so dumb when he finally learns why he can never find Marvin when the white cat is present. He couldn't be prouder of how far the magician's abilities had developed since August. He had returned to learning German at night. When reading German texts, occasional words begin to become familiar. Every now and again, he doesn't have to check what a word, or even rarer a phrase, means. It takes him a while to remember how accents change the sound of letters. Practising his speech alone, he is convinced his pronunciation is off by miles. Nevertheless, the delight on Henrik's face when he haphazardly makes his way through imperfect sentences proves it is undoubtedly worth it. Henrik coaches him on his native tongue while Jack continued to correct the doctor's English grammar. Henrik's ability to speak French is utilised after Sean plays a game called Passpartout. Jacques Septique often enclosed himself in his room, painting whatever he felt like that day. Once he became more comfortable around the five others living under the same roof, he offered to paint their doors. Soon, the house was a little more colourful. Jack promises himself he won't get too close to the French artist. He'll be kind and welcoming to him, of course he will, but he knows Jacques wasn't made last. He's a fan creation. All you needed to do was visit Angus to see what happened to that kind of ego. He'd been wary of Marvin when he'd first appeared. Unintentional with no name? He couldn't be more fan made. Jack had been an idiot and allowed himself to become close friends with the magician. It had taken Angus little over a year to start going downhill. That meant that by Christmas, Marvin would show signs too. There was the hope that the near 16 million subscribers were more able to preserve Marvin than the hundreds or thousands who saw Angus' ten videos. However, it was just hope. On the last day of July, Jack has a bad morning. He trips on something, spilling scalding coffee all over himself and breaking one of his favourite mugs in the process. After that, he records a video, only for him to notice none of the footage was recording. Frustrated, he calls Sean to see if he's free. His best friend almost succeeds in cheering him up with his jokes and sympathy. Jack is on the brink of feeling better when Sean ruins it all. "I'm burnt out, man." Sean admits. "YouTube needs to sort itself out." "You're burned out?" Jack scoffed. "Sure, how long have you been feeling like that?" "Oh don't give me that. This isn't a contest to see who's more tired. Besides, you don't get tired." He knows he has the power to avoid this argument before it truly begins. But years of Sean not listening have resulted in little patience concerning these topics. His mind isn't able to stop his mouth in time. "No, you don't give me that, Sean. For three years, I've watched one of my closest friends deteriorate into nothing. We could save Angus but you refuse to help me. Plus you don't let me upload any of the videos anymore." "I... I never have." "I'm not finished." He continues. "You need to stop playing God because you clearly suck at it. If we could find a game with wildlife in an open world for Angus, we could bring him back to his original condition. I'm not saying we go back to Far Cry, especially with the 5th instalment coming next year. But can you finally co-operate with me so we can save him? It would be one less mess of yours for me to fix. Not to mention it's practically 9 months since Jackie disappeared. We both know what happened to him. Anti is your creation. I don't care if he has as much free will as the rest of us. You could think of something, shit I'll take anything at this point, to keep him at bay. I'm sick of having to be the one who everyone relies on. That should be your job. You can't create us and then leave us to deal with suddenly existing by ourselves. If you want to keep acting like this, at least let me sleep. Even just once. Everyone can just escape all the problems you mindlessly burden them with for a few hours. Not me, I have to stay up and wait for the next big disaster you throw at us. Joke all you want about never needing sleep. I won't be laughing." Sean looks at him like he's insane. "Sleep? You're... kidding right? Just lie down and close your eyes. It's not rocket science." "I can't! I physically can't fall asleep because that's how you made me." "I was six!" "Yeah, and now you're 27. You have the power to help us but instead, you just create more of us. Stop being so irresponsible." The fight escalates. Jack is a broken record, repeating many of the points he's made over the years that still remain issues. If that isn't a line of argument in itself, he doesn't know what is. He also insists Marvin's name should be made canon already. After all, it was nearing a full year since the magician's first appearance. The spat ends with Jack forcing himself to leave the situation. "You want to sleep, I'll let you sleep." The words sound more malicious than they should. "Bring back Jackie. He's been missing for months. Do something!" At home, he marathons Harry Potter with Marvin and Chase for a few hours. It doesn't take his mind off the argument with Sean completely. If he knew they wouldn't get the chance to reconcile for two years, he would have apologised sooner. Unbeknownst to him, things were already being set in motion. Just three days later, he is overcome with queasiness as he introduces the latest episode of Bio Inc Redemption. He doesn't understand what's happening. One thing he does know is that nothing about this is good. Excusing himself, he stumbles carefully to Henrik's section of the building. "Hen-" He gags, hand flying to his mouth again. "Henrik, I need help. Something's wrong."

The Last Laugh

“When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping!”

Hey, guys. This is Collin. I know that we’re only four episodes into this blog now, and things are just starting to roll…but unfortunately, I’ve decided that the stress of college and work is too much, so I’m going to have to go on an indefinite hiatus…

April fools!

SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT

Villain: The Joker Robin: No Writer: Carl Swenson Director: Kevin Altieri Animator: Akom Airdate: September 22, 1992 Episode Grade: B

The Joker’s back on the show already, and again, he has formulated an overly-complicated plot which seems to be designed specifically to lead Batman directly to him. We start by seeing a boat full of repulsively green trash chugging through the Gotham river. It’s emitting an absolutely foul stench, and while we aren’t sure if this is a typical occurrence, knowing this city, I wouldn’t doubt it one bit. Char, my girlfriend and watching-buddy got the impression that Gotham is indeed an old, dark, gothic city, but this was her first exposure to the griminess that is often associated with it. This time, however, the griminess seems to be a little bit more pleasant; in fact every citizen who notices it seems to burst out laughing! The garbage is emitting a powerful laughing gas that doesn’t just cause a rush of giggles, but it also seems to send its victims completely out of control, and they start ignoring all of their surroundings altogether. It’s like they’re not even aware of their laughter, as the fumes get them as high as a kite.

Meanwhile, still in Gotham, but away from the city, we cut to a really great shot of Wayne Manor. Inside, Bruce is sprucing himself up, and we discover that it is April Fools’ Day thanks to Alfred once again being the lovable savage that he seems to be. Offering to “draw” Bruce a bath, he quite literally draws him a picture of a bath, hoping to at least get a smile out of him. But alas, when he’s not reaching for his rich playboy persona, we see that Bruce is actually quite the stick in the mud. I love Kevin Conroy’s way of creating two voices for the character, something that had never really been done before this show. I actually believe this was Kevin’s idea, which is no surprise given his acting background. He somehow does it in a way that makes the Bruce Wayne persona seem even more fake, despite that voice being closer to Kevin’s actual voice.

Bruce Wayne dedicating himself to living a lie like that must truly be tough. Think about how that must hamper his relationships, and it starts to explain the social state that he finds himself in later down the DCAU timeline. I’m someone who is an introvert, and sometimes the amount of energy required to socialize is more than I would like to admit. But if I had to pretend to be someone I’m not every day when my true self is as dark as Batman’s character (and let’s be real, Batman is our main character, Bruce Wayne only exists as a name on his legal documents), it would be a lot worse. The seeds were planted this early, and it shows the thought, consistency, and understanding that Radomski, Timm, and co had for the character right away. This wasn’t your average Saturday morning version of Batman.

Obviously as more and more people throughout the city begin to become affected by the laughing gas, it does not go unnoticed by news outlets. Bruce immediately comes to the same conclusion as many of us watching; The Joker. It’s merely a matter of finding him and figuring out what he is up to. Meanwhile back in the city, we find out just that; The Joker and two of his goons are using the gas-induced obliviousness of the citizens on the street to rob them right under their noses. Even police officers are in tears, not paying the least bit of attention. The Joker, of course, is cracking comments and laughing his ass off the whole time. Some of his lines are legitimately hilarious in this episode, I’ve gotta say! While he was entertaining as all hell in Christmas With The Joker, it was more in a simple whacky, over-the-top, cartoon way. He still has some of that aspect here, but a lot more of it comes from genuinely clever writing. Some of his most well known lines from the show come from this episode. “So we’ll just punch some air holes!” and “YOU KILLED CAPTAIN CLOWN!” to name a couple, the latter being downright legendary.

So far, this episode gives the simple vibe of a fun Joker romp without much meat on its bones, and much of it is. But the stakes do raise as we cut back to the Batcave. Batman is analyzing some of the gas, and learning that it causes “permanent insanity”. We’ll come back to this a little bit later, but obviously he has to do something. Not just because of the robberies and accidents happening, but also just because of the mental health factor. Insanity? Not particularly good for you. All of a sudden, however, we hear a crash come from upstairs when he attempts to call Alfred down into the cave. He runs upstairs, and here we see Alfred, smashing artifacts and furniture with a broom as we hear him belt out cackles unlike anything we have heard from him. The gas is inside the house. Batman immediately dons a gas mask and heads out to stop it, presumably taking care of Alfred first. Alfred, and Wayne Manor in general, being the thing in danger isn’t an element the show does a lot, and I think the moderation allows it to stand out a lot more. It can immediately turn a silly episode like this into something much more serious. Char was gasping and worrying the entire time, not wanting Alfred to be hurt. I think she’s growing to really like him. This is helped by the fact that Alfred was recast for this episode, and his new actor, Afrem Zimbalist Jr (unfortunately no longer with us) would remain for the entire rest of the DCAU. Both of us like this change a lot. I think this new voice helps with Alfred’s miniature character evolution, as it just suits this personality more. The first voice (Clive Revill) wasn’t bad by any means. Paired with the version of Alfred that’s a bit more stereotypical “5-star restaurant waiter”, it felt pretty natural. But Afrem…he brings the character to life like no one else can. There’s no way I can picture Clive laughing maniacally the way that Alfred did here. Also…and maybe it’s just me…but even though for the first three episodes Alfred was voiced by a man who was actually English, it sounded more like a fake accent than Afrem’s! And maybe this is because I’m an ignorant American who doesn’t hear English accents every day, nor am I aware of all the regional variations. I don’t know. But virtually everyone who talks about this new portrayal absolutely loves it, so I’m likely not alone with this aspect either.

Back in the river, we see that the garbage boat is fake. Below the water, what looks like the top of a boat is being carried by a submarine. Looking through the periscope of the sub, the Joker catches sight of Batman’s eyes, staring back at him through the lens. Then, BAM. Batman smacks it, causing the entire thing to rattle, and sending the Joker to the floor. Boy are we getting some great drawings in this episode. Batman’s face through the lens looks amazing! We also had some fun, yet purposely ugly shots of people laughing on the streets earlier, and then the Joker getting knocked away from the periscope is gold. After this, we see that Batman is towing around the “boat” with his own Batboat (its first appearance), which pisses the Joker off. So we get a fight scene between the goons and Batman, which is one of the better action scenes we’ve gotten up to this point. Is it still a little bit stilted? Yes, most definitely. But is it Spider-Man the Animated Series level? Not a chance. I did get some excitement here, and the big hunk of metal known in this episode (and throughout the Internet) as Captain Clown is a robot, so we got a little bit of extra fun here. The Fox censors were not as sensitive if the beating was not being done to an actual human being (even if it’s hard to tell whether or not it's human just by looking), and we got to see Batman throw an actual hard punch. The fight against the other two gives me the impression of martial arts and self defense, which also makes sense given Batman’s background (which will be covered later). The scene ends, however, with Batman being locked in a container and thrown into the water, with the container leaking in through the many holes that the Joker stabs into it with a knife. Seeing the Joker whip out a knife like that and puncture it with Batman inside is really jarring given that this is episode four, and we hadn’t really seen that kind of near-violence prior. Yeah, Batman dodged the stabs, but if one of those had hit, he’d be done. Another glimpse into the dangerous psychopath aspect of a character you don’t always expect to fear. To be clear, this was jarring in a good way.

Situations like this are hard to write for, because you have to be able to come up with a solution that isn’t anticlimactic or complete bullshit. Here Batman calls his Batboat with his utility belt and has it slice the container up with its laser gun blast. It was thinking outside the box a little bit (no pun intended), and having the laser miss during the first shot was a good touch. Granted, I also don’t recall this laser getting much use later down the line (you would think a powerful tool like this would be heavily utilized, hinting at it being added just because of this predicament, but then again, welcome to the world of Batman’s gadgets), so overall I don’t think it was perfect. Pretty cool, though, and I’m not gonna complain. I wasn’t expecting it, and I did find it exciting. Also, 12 words: Batman’s anger once he manages to swim back up to the surface.

To speed things up a little bit, Batman gets to the service, finds where the Joker has gone, defeats the thugs by exposing them to their own laughing gas, and even manages to decimate Captain Clown in a trash compactor. After this, the rest of the episode is pretty much just a chase sequence, and it almost reminds me of a video game. Batman is basically going through an obstacle course. We get a couple more really great shots here, one of the Joker creepily riding a conveyor belt through the shadows, and one of Batman sliding down the garbage shoot. I’m surprised this was animated by Akom, as I specifically remember their animation being generally C-tier when I watched the entirety of Animaniacs (with TMS obviously being the best). Perhaps it was all in the storyboards. The more detailed they are, obviously Akom has more to go by with less room to mess things up. Batman ends up confronting the Joker on a walkway above a vat of molten metal, where Joker throws some razor sharp playing-cards at him. He misses once, and then for the second card, Batman manages to catch it. This is a scene that makes you audibly go, “Awww shit”, and you can tell Joker is thinking the same thing. Char brought up something interesting here. The Joker constructs these incredible plans to disrupt Batman’s day. I swear, he plans everything. But only up until a certain point, because he banks too much on certain aspects. He swore that throwing Batman into the river would have finished him. It’s like the SpongeBob episode where Plankton says something like, “I never thought I’d get this far”. Once Batman makes contact with that card razor, Joker panics and immediately tries to run away, ultimately defeating himself as he trips himself up with a rope. He plays with Batman one step too far. He doesn’t realize when to stop. He pokes the bear, and although he may ultimately be a glorified, crazy mobster, he’s not a fighter. Despite this realization of Char’s, which I totally vibe with, just two episodes ago we had the Joker tripping, falling, and being caught by Batman. So overall I do consider this ending a little cheap. A low point to an otherwise entertaining episode.

Well, I guess it’s not quite the ending. Because after this, we are back with Bruce Wayne and Alfred. Alfred seems to be feeling healthy again, but he is distraught since he broke a priceless artifact earlier when he was exposed to the insanity gas. Bruce tells him not to worry, and that it can simply come out of his paycheck, but also assures him that he’s joking, and it’s all an April Fools’ joke. Bruce even chuckles about it. I love this segment, and even though Bruce can be a stick in the mud as I said, every once in a while he can let himself have a little bit of fun.

For some additional things that didn’t quite fit in with the previous paragraphs, I found myself wondering what Joker was exactly planning on accomplishing after the robberies. I almost think that he was honestly expecting to be caught by Batman, or he was at least not planning past the stage of killing him. But I guess with such an unpredictable maniac, you’d have to be able to read his thoughts to really understand a lot of it. Also, Batman’s computer specifically said that the gas causes permanent insanity. Yet at the end, everyone seems to be fine. Does it require more exposure? Does it mean that it’s permanent for just as long as it’s being inhaled? Was it simply wrong? I was a little confused by this. Mark Hamill’s performance was amazing as always, and as I explained the way that Mark tends to almost visually morph into the character while he voices him, Char mentioned something about him and the Joker becoming one like with the Venom symbiote and Eddie. Accurate observation. And lastly, she mentioned something about how this Joker is someone where you never know when you’ll be on their bad side. I got flashes of a certain early scene from Return Of the Joker here, and I cannot wait for her to see that film.

Char’s grade: A

Major firsts: The Batboat, a form of Joker’s laughing gas

Next time: Pretty Poison

By the way, I’m still messing around and trying to figure out the best format for these blog entries. I don’t think I’ve quite found something that works for me yet, so for a bit, the posts may be a little inconsistent in how they’re laid out. Experimentation! I want to try and make them a little bit less like summaries, and more discussion/reaction-based. Thanks for bearing with me! Also, any constructive feedback is appreciated!

My top 17 favorite Movies, TV Shows, and Cartoons of 2017 in no particular order part Deux

11. Star Vs. The Forces of Evil.

I enjoyed Star Vs.'s first 2 seasons. But I'll admit, it had some episodes I found to be pointless, or pretty bad (the biggest offender being the episode with the magician, which committed the unholy sin of letting the episode where "Weird Al" Yankovic guest-starred in be the show's worst episode). Season 3 blew the last 2 seasons out of the water. It got more engaged in the show's story, it's been developing the characters to newer heights, it's been answering questions and questioning answers, it's overall become Disney's best current, dare I say, show in general. If you haven't checked it out yet, please do. Watching through the more duds of episodes in the first two seasons is worth it for every episode so far in season 3.

10. Hey Arnold! The Jungle Movie

Another satisfying ending to a beloved show. Hey Arnold! is Nickelodeon's best non-Avatar: The Last Airbender Nicktoon. It had heart, comedy and dealt with issues like neglect, alcoholicism, toxic relationships, Hitler, the Vietnam War, and addiction in a language kids could understand. And the movie follows the show greatly, by wrapping up its biggest mystery. It had action, adventure, romance, and mystery (I'm starting to sound like a record player here). It was another great conclusion to an amazing series.

9. Ducktales

With so many great endings comes a great new beginning. If you loved the original Ducktales, and today's cartoons, then you'll love Ducktales (2017). It starts off with, you guessed it, action and adventure, then brought us along on another mystery. It reinvented the characters and world to great new possibilities, and even cast a great new cast to boot. It's a great reboot, and I recommend you watch it if you like to solve mysteries, or rewrite history. WOO-OO!

8. Legend Quest.

NOBODY TALKS ABOUT THIS SHOW! Seriously though, this show is tons of fun. It's about a boy, a witch, two ghosts, and an alebrije (A Mexican myth), and all sorts of mythical adventures they take around the world. One thing I love about this show is how they take myths from all around the world (Mexico, Japan, Germany, England, and the most terrifying of all, NEW JERSEY. Shudders), and combine it all together in an engaging and fun story. So what are you waiting for? Hop on your Netflix account (or whichever one you mooch off of) and check it out!

7. Buddy Thunderstruck

Here's another severely underrated Netflix cartoon. Among all the new cartoons this year, The funniest have been Milo Murphy's Law (which I also highly recommend), and Netflix's Buddy Thunderstruck. It's fast-paced and hillarous comedy, with the dim-witted and egotistical but lovable main character, Buddy Thunderstruck. It's got hillarious episodes, the characters are insane but fun, it's overall, a great show that deserves more love.

6. Kong: Skull Island.

Guess what idiot decided to skip the great live-action movies of the year, like Blade Runner 2049, Planet of the Apes, and Baby Driver, and instead watched films like Boss Baby and The Nut Job 2. Sigh. But at least one of the great live-action movies I watched and enjoyed this year was Kong: Skull Island. It had great action, and an engaging story, with good social commentary. One problem, the characters were not the film's strongest suit, which is why it's sometimes hard to feel bad when one of them kicks the bucket. However the one character that stole the show from the giant monkey (it's more fun to say monkey than ape) was John C. Reilly's character. Anyways, please go check out Kong: Skull Island if you haven't yet. It's one of the year's best movies that I don't hear get talked about as much as the others.

5. Coco

We all know Pixar peaked after Toy Story 3. However, since then, they've made 2 very strong movies. 2015's Inside Out, and this year's Coco. It brought cultural representation, it had a while cliched, still very well-executed story, memorable music and characters, and has one of the biggest hearts I've seen in a movie for a long time. Truly one of Pixar's greatest movies. It holds a special place in my proud corazon.

4. Muppets Take The Hollywood Bowl.

Okay, this wasn't so much a movie or TV show, so much as a live show that not everybody could legally watch, but I don't care. Its one of my favorite memories of the year! The Muppets put on a good ol' fashioned Muppet show. No mockumentary style, no hit or miss jokes, just a plain old Muppet show, with music, monsters, pigs in space, Swedish Chefs, and heart. It was an amazing show, that had all sorts of surprises, including a guest, Bobby Moynihan who had his time to shine, but didn't get in the way of the Muppets either. If you guys want to see what I'm talking about, mainly the whole show is available on YouTube. Trust me, even after how the whole Steve Whitemire firing disaster went earlier in the year, it showed that Muppets are here to stay, and ain't going anywhere for the lovers, the dreamers, and me.

3. Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie

Truly one of the funniest films of the year. Captain Underpants makes you feel like a kid again, even with all the toilet-humor, it gives off the vibes of imagination, creativity and fun that should never die, even as we grow older. It's also a very clever comedy, even with all the poop, fart and diarrhea joke, which normally don't work, but with this film, it actually has some sense and charm to it. It was a good movie, and although it didn't get quite as big an audience, I'm glad to see it's getting a cult following. One of Dreamworks' best movies in the past few years!

3. Stuff that I jumbled together and didn't have much to say about but I'll try anyways (Steven Universe, Welcome to the Wayne, Trial and Error, Little Witch Academia, Camp Camp, Cuphead, Super Mario Odyssey, Trollhunters, My Hero Academia)

Steven Universe: although there weren't that many episodes that came out this year, (Thanks CN) there were still some great episodes with great songs, fun character moments and huge bombshells of surprises.

Welcome To The Wayne: Now you may have heard this one, mainly because people have been calling it a Gravity Falls rip-off. Well, the people who say that can shut up. Even if it does have similarities, that doesn't mean you can't enjoy it. Technically, Samurai Jack is a rip-off of a Frank Miller comic, and we all still love it. Anywhom, this show has a varied but very fun cast of characters, they have fun stories, and even an engaging story as well. If you passed on it just cause it has similar elements to Gravity Falls, please give it another try.

Trial and Error: It has a tightly knit story that comes up with surprise after another. Also, the mystery element of the show is also very strong too. You find yourself doubting who you think the murderer is. And trust me, the result is surprising and gut-busting. Its one of the best sitcoms since Parks and Rec ended. Give it a watch.

Little Witch Academia: A cute, beautifully animated and inspiring anime that's sure to tug at your heartstrings and tickle your funny bone at times. P.S. Akko is one of the best characters of the year.

Camp Camp: a hillarous and well-written cartoon on YouTube, that while it usually has a cynical attitude, has moments of humanity that are sure to bring tears.

Cuphead: although harder than a Christmas Fruitcake, a very fun and engaging game that also pulls off being a lovely tribute to the classic age of animation.

Super Mario Odyssey: One of the best Mario games in a while, and very fun and puzzling game.

Trollhunters: Another great season to this underrated show that brings fun action, adventure, characters and with how how it's going, I can't wait to see more from the world of Arcadia.

My Hero Academia: Although it starts off a little slow, it was still a very fun and engaging season that develops the characters nicely, and had one of the best action scenes from the whole year.

1. The LEGO Batman Movie

(Again, this list is in no particular order)

The LEGO Batman Movie is not only the best LEGO movie of the year (sorry Ninjago), but also the best Batman movie since The Dark Knight. It's goofy, it's hillarious, it's got references to Batman's mythos, as well as a few other franchises too, and a heartwarming message that shows even the darkest of knight can be light-hearted.

Here's hoping 2018 has more smiles and more great entertainment!

Since it's the holiday season, how would the mob wife verse celebrate? I imagine Dick would get little special gifts for some of Jason's closest gang members. Especially for Jeff and Trevor. Would Jason's men get anything for their Blue?

1. Believe it or not, each of Jason’s underground bases does get Christmas tree. Instead of present littering around at the bottom, they’ll have AK, C4, just lots of lethal weapons. Oh, and beers too.

2. Jason’s guards celebrating the nights in Christmas week by hanging up uninvited guests of their bases with fairy light strings and make them wear red pom-pom hats while waiting for their Boss. 

“Look Boss! It’s Christmas angels!“

“Could I shoot them now?“

4. Most of Jason’s goons are loners so they have Christmas together, drinking and chatting about how stupid stuff.

“You know, I saw Blue dragged Boss home by the ear one time.“

“Yeah, and he had just won a fight with 3 metas before that!“

“Is that how marriage life gonna be?“

“Haha… I don’t want to get married anymore.“

3. The subordinates members all decided that it’s the best gift if they could give their Boss and Blue a week off, so they arrange everything to make sure the streets are clean for their master’s special week. 

4. The superior members get Dick presents of course.

5. For Jeff and Trevor though, well, single men are all idiots when it comes to gifts, so don’t expect much of them. 

For a really long time since they knew each other, Trevor saw Jeff scrolling through boxes and gifts with the determination of a man on a special mission. Yes, he did have his moments, blowing up buildings and massing people’s brains like a walking breathing meat blending machine. Crap, he had seen Jeff with a fish hook half way through his thigh and still the man looked like he still could take some more. No, for the first time in forever, Trevor saw Jeff looking around in complete incertitude, hands fidgeted for a smoke like every he did when feeling nervous.

The people at the gang would laugh their ass off if Trevor ever said this was all by Jeff’s idea from the beginning.

“This place is crazy, and why the hell would people need an orange peeler?”

Jeff picked around the shelf and glanced around, looking like Tarzan getting himself lost in the middle of busy London streets, or in this case, a caveman in the middle of Kmart. Seriously, his friend desperately needed a shave, or Trevor was gonna have to tell Blue to tell him to do that. Jeff always listened to Blue, even when he complained about the shits Blue made him do, but still, he listened to him, every single word, and sometimes, maybe sometimes, even more than he listened to Boss.

High neck boots and cargo pants, rocking the navy Henley and black watch cap, he still dressed like a soldier, after all these years, as a living proof that all people who came back, came back different, and that patriotism didn’t die, just the belief in the system was now gone.

He looked around and frowned, acting like a lost Shepherd that barked and bit to cover up how frightened it was.

“You know, if you keep looking like that, people will start to think you’re about to steal something.” Trevor felt sorry for him.

“And do I look like I give a shit?”

“No, but the securities might do give many shits.”

“Stop being an ass and help me out. How about this?” He picked up a giant dinosaur plush, staring at it with a finger between the lip and the nose.

“Isn’t that from Kid section?”

“And Blue isn’t childish enough for you?”

“No, not with a body like that.” Trevor sighed. “Jeff, buddy, are you gonna at least tell me why you suddenly feel like picking up shit like this?”

“Look around, idiot. It’s jingling wherever the place. Wait, is that table socks? Why on Earth does anyone need table socks? The table doesn’t even fucking need it itself!”

For a minute, he had Trevor speechless there, not with all the swearing and mumbling with the Christmas edition table socks package he was staring at, no, it was Jeff talking about Christmas.

Jeff, and Christmas. That was like Michael Bay and Nicolas Sparks’ novels.

“You’re shitting me.” He shouted, had the lady next to them frowning and shaking her head. “You fucking hate Christmas!”

Jeff continued to ignore him and scrolled through the next row, eyes darting around and stopped at one particular item.

“I still do, but unfortunately, somebody doesn’t. Hey, you think they have this in like, human size?”

“Jeff, that’s a cat bed.”

“Yeah, I know that.”

The guy must be fucking joking.

“Blue’s gonna fucking plug your head off if you give him that.”

Seriously, what was wrong with Boss and Jeff and cat metaphor about Blue? To Trevor, he was always more like a bird, free and elegant and just, kind looking.

“What? I think it’s funny, and I think Boss might like it too.”

“Honestly, I don’t know whether it’s Blue you’re trying to impress, or Boss that you’re trying to satisfy.”

“A little bit of both, but it’s more for Blue, has always been for him.”

Right, right.

“How about bedding?”

He was just trying to help, really, because Jeff was his friend at the end, but the man gave him the eyes that suddenly made the whole atmosphere sink down the floor and Trevor’s blood freeze.

For a minute he blamed himself for being oblivious. They were at the bedding section, and dozens of them just hit his eyes and for a moment he just forgot. He really shouldn’t have forgotten because the face Jeff was making was even worse than when he was shot.

Trevor knew when was the time that Jeff was being serious. The thing about being friends that ran the same business and pretty much same background too, was that they understood each other easily. He knew how Jeff looked before he took every shot, what he would say when interrogating, how his face would change every time Blue walked into the room and then into Boss’s arms.

This, however, was completely different.

Jeff just froze and went stiff like someone had stabbed him in the heart, like he had been betrayed and Trevor had slapped him right in the face with the words he had said.

Bedding, what kind of horseshit was he thinking?

He wondered what Jeff thought when looking at the bedding like this. Did he think about Blue? About the thing he wanted to do with him but couldn’t? About the fantasy that pretty much everyone in the gang, or even this whole city had at least once when they saw Nightwing flew in the sky in a skin-tight suit, when they saw him smile that luxurious smile of him, smelled that fresh and clean scent of him that tasted like fresh fog by the lake before sunrise.

He couldn’t blame Jeff, even when he desperately wanted to, because wanting something or someone that was Boss’s seemed undeniably wrong and sinful. But this was Blue, and Blue was… well, Blue.

“You know what, how about a whacky ornament?” He tried to save the situation, and lucky for him, Jeff seemed to let it go more easily than he expected.

“A whacky ornament?” He huffed.

“Yeah… like this one!” He picked up the Red Hood keychain next to him, in the line of dozens other figures, but always the Red Hood one. “Blue does have dozens of cars. He might need something to stick with his keys, right?”  

“Is that Boss’ helmet? Pft, is there supposed to be a Nightwing’s ass around here?”

They ended up picking a fleece bathrobe because Jeff suddenly remembered Blue’s habit of wearing nothing around the house (which, to be honest, Trevor desperately wanted to hear more about but didn’t dare to ask), and him being drawn toward soft and cozy things. The thing cost them nearly $65, and along with the boxing and wrapping and damn, Trevor never thought Christmas shopping could be this fucking costly. But hey, Jeff was loaded anyway. He lived along, had no one to take care of, had saved up pretty well since the days being hired marine and mercenary, and Boss always paid them good, especially for ones that worked close to him.

Trevor got Blue a Superman mug, because fuck Batman, and Blue would definitely like it too, of course. He had thought about buying a rosé for Blue but thought better. Giving some $20 wine for a Wayne heir and mob wife that grew up around $300 wines and fizzy champagne would be downright ridiculous. They both didn’t get something for Boss because… well, Boss was Boss and they were all men to men. Buying him something was just like asking for something back and they just couldn’t. Boss was already the best anyone of them could ever ask for. Gifts were for Blue because, well, he was Blue.

Oh, and they did find a Nightwing’s ass keychain in the end.

Lego Batman Oneshot: Weapon of Choice

Plot: Honestly, it made sense. Dick already had his own costume and his own utility belt, so why not his own signature weapon? Unfortunately for the dynamic duo, finding the perfect Robin-suited weapon seemed like it would be easier said than done...

Despite being known for it’s dark clouds and gloomy atmosphere, Gotham had managed to receive a bit of good weather for once. Not too hot and humid, but still bright and sunny. Truly a perfect summer’s day!

...Not that Batman or Dick would know, or even notice since both of them were in the Batcave - where it always seemed like nighttime. 

But hey, who said nighttime was a bad thing? Nighttime was when Batman did his best work, after all! Beating up criminals, catching bad guys and putting his amazing detective brain to work - which is what he was currently doing as he tried to piece together how several barrels of radioactive waste from various facilities around Gotham had disappeared, as well as trying to figure out who could have taken them.

Unfortunately, thanks to a certain sidekick/son, he wasn’t getting much work done...

Sure, after living with the kid for several months, Batman had gotten used to how curious Dick could be when it came to both sides of his home. Just a couple weeks ago, Dick had tried mattress surfing down one of the bigger flights of stairs in Wayne Manor. That had actually been a fun distraction, especially once his bat-dad had joined in.

Today however, Dick’s curious nature was proving to be just a distraction - and a fairly frustrating and annoying one at that. It seemed like every five minutes, Batman had to leave ‘Puter to go and stop his son from breaking something or from touching one of the more dangerous weapons that he had in his arsenal. 

The breaking point (literally) had been when Dick accidentally cracked one of his Kryptonite spears. “Okay kid, enough!” Batman snapped as he snatched the spear back, “Seriously! Just stop touching everything!”

“...Right,” Dick nodded, looking down at his feet as his eyes started to water a bit, “Sorry, Batman...”

“...*siiiigh*” His face softening a bit, Batman put the spear back on the weapons rack that was labeled “Awesome weapons for BvS fight only”, and put his hand on his son’s shoulder. 

“...Sorry for yelling,” he mumbled, causing Dick to glance up at him again, “It’s just... Come on, even you’re not this touchy when it comes to my stuff-” And normally he was more interested in the Bat-vehicles and the hundreds of bat-costumes anyway, not the weapons. “So, what’s going on with you today?”

The boy shrugged sheepishly. “I guess I just thought that, while you were working, I would... test out some of the weapons you have?”

Batman raised an eyebrow. “Why would you want to do that?” He gestured to his arsenal. “Honestly as cool as they are, most of these things can only be used against certain villains or in certain situations.” Maybe a bit wasteful, but that didn’t matter. Batman always stuck by his methods. “Besides, you’ve already got your own Bat-a-rangs!” He also still had the Bat-Shark Repellent, though to be fair, that was nearly useless given how few sharks and shark villains there were in Gotham.

Dick nodded, smiling a bit. “Yeah, I know. And, don’t get me wrong, Padre, your Bat-a-rangs are really cool!” However, his smile faded a bit as he glanced away once more. “But, I mean... It’s just...” 

The Dark Knight blinked in surprise. Normally the kid absolutely loved having anything that was bat themed! Why the sudden change? Did he not think bats were cool or something? “What? What’s wrong with Bat-a-rangs?”

“Nothing! They’re really cool!” Dick repeated, “It’s just... Don’t you think that it makes more sense for just Batman to use Bat-a-rangs?”

“...So, what? Do you want yours to be called Robin-rangs or somethin’?”

“...Uh, y-yeah, maybe!” Dick answered, shrugging again, “Or, maybe...” He looked at his father with wide, hopeful eyes. “Maybe, I could have my own weapon?”

...Ohhh, so THAT was it! 

Batman smiled, looking both relieved and even a bit proud. His son was already growing up a bit... And honestly, it made sense. Dick already had his own costume and his own utility belt, so why not his own signature weapon? Every hero had one (or at least, the ones who didn’t just rely on super-strength and speed did), and he certainly wasn’t about to deny his son one!

So, with a grin, Batman answered, “Well of course you can! I mean, you are a hero, aren’t you?”

Dick grinned widely, giving a small hop in excitement. “Yes Sir!”

His father grinned back at him. “Good. ‘Puter!” 

There was a small beep from somewhere in the vast and deep Batcave. “Yes Sir?”

“Go ahead and bring out any and all weapons that could be used on a typical crime fighting night.” “Okay.” Suddenly, robotic arms came down and took away any weapons that were meant to only be used against super powerful opponents as well as weapons that were more offensive than defensive, such as swords and axes. Then again, those were usually too heavy for Dick to wield anyway, so he didn’t mind. 

However, even with those factors narrowing his choices down, Dick could still see plenty of weapons that were still there - as well as a few new ones that had been brought out. “Alright, kid,” he heard his bat dad tell him, “Go ahead and start trying them out.”

Letting out a small cheer, Dick ran forward and grabbed the first weapon he spotted: Nunchucks. “I didn’t know you had ninja weapons, Padre!”

“Yeah,” Batman nodded with a small smirk, “They may not be my style, but they are pretty handy - especially whenever the League of Shadows starts showing up. Go ahead and give them a swing!”

“Okay!” Sticking his tongue out a bit in concentration, Dick started to slowly swing the nunchucks. Then a little faster, then even faster. “Hey, I think I’m starting to get- AH!” He had wanted to try and do a move with the weapon, but even just moving his arm a bit had caused him to temporarily lose both control and concentration - which in-turn caused the blunt weapon to hit him right in the face. 

“Oh my gosh!” Batman gasped, running over to him, “You okay?!”

“Ugh, yeah...” Dick nodded as he rubbed his face, wincing a bit, “Um, let me try that aga-” But before he could even start swinging, the weapon was pulled out of his hand.

“Uhh, maybe we should come back to this one later,” his father suggested as he held the nunchucks up, allowing another robot arm to take them away, “Okay, buddy?” 

“Alright,” Dick agreed, feeling more disappointed in his fail than the actual loss of the weapon. Turning back to the various shelves of weapons, he hummed a bit as he thought about his next choice. 

He saw a shield, and while that was certainly handy, he could easily think of a couple other heroes who used shields. And they were fine, he had nothing against them! He just really wanted to have his own weapon, his own thing. Like having a costume or a theme song, you couldn’t just copy someone else!

Standing up on his toes a bit, Dick quickly spotted another weapon up on a higher shelf. Reaching up, he pulled down a- “Boomerang?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Oh yeah, that old thing.” Batman gave a small, slightly nostalgic smile. “That was from waaaay back, back when I was still designing all my cool stuff and trying to figure out what weapons Batman would use.”

“Oh. Cool!” Dick examined the boomerang. Unlike its future counterparts, there were no special additions to make it explode or release smoke or signal a bunch of bats. But hey, it still looked like a decent boomerang. Pretty strong too. Deciding to give it a shot, the young sidekick brought his arm back, threw the boomerang deep into the Batcave, and waited for it to return.

...And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

“...I don’t think it’s coming back, Padre.” “Yeahhh, that’s why I upgraded to the Bat-a-rang.”

Thankfully, there were still plenty of other weapons to choose from. It didn’t take him too long to find a black bow and arrow set. DEFINITELY cool - and something he felt like he could actually use! ...Though, when he thought about it, Dick really did consider himself more of a ‘close-up’ kind of fighter. So, the bow and arrow was put back.

Another shelf held more ninja style weapons, such as shuriken and sai - but as cool as they were, they weren’t quite Dick’s style either. Other weapons though - like the tiny balls that could release giant nets when activated, or the flash grenades that could distract even the toughest opponents - definitely were. But, at the same time, those weren’t exactly ‘weapons’. More like useful tools to add to his utility belt. Of course that was still handy, but it was also just a bit disappointing...

After several minutes of searching, Dick sighed, stepping away from the arsenal. “On second thought, maybe I should just stick to using Bat-a-rangs...”

“Hey, come on, kid...” Not completely sure what else to do to help, Batman just patted Dick’s shoulder a couple times. “Look... if none of these weapons work for you, you could always build your own. That’s what I did, and I know you’ve got the talent to do it too! ...And, at the very least, I guess we could turn a few of the Bat-a-rangs into Birdy-rangs or something like that.”

“...” Despite still feeling down, Dick glanced over and gave his father a small smile for his efforts. “Alright... Thanks Da-”

Suddenly, a high-pitched mechanical sound came out of nowhere, making the Dynamic Duo flinch for just a moment before the realized what the sound was. “The Bat-Fax!” 

Sure, it wasn’t very high tech- ...In fact, it wasn’t high tech whatsoever. But hey, the Bat-Signal couldn’t work all the time (even if clear nights and villains attacking during the day was very rare in Gotham), and since Batman usually forgot to take his phone off vibrate, the Bat-Fax really was the best back-up option. “Come on!” Batman ordered as soon as the fax was done printing from his cowl, “Let’s go!”

“I’m right behind you, Padre!” Dick replied, determined as he ran after the hero. Maybe he didn’t have a weapon, but that wasn’t going to stop him from joining the fight! He was still his own hero along with being a sidekick! Besides, nothing wrong with using just good ol’ fists and some Gym-Kata, after all!

()()()()()()()()()()

The road was nearly completely covered in glowing green goo, cracking the pavement underneath and leaving a sort of burnt plastic smell in the air. As soon as it was close enough to them, the spreading goo then began climbing onto the buildings, swallowing brick after brick and even causing some of them to collapse. 

“Mmm, yes,” Bane grinned under his mask as he watched the destruction, “Gotham will become nothing but a big green puddle when I’m through!” Of course, the few remaining Gotham citizens weren’t exactly listening to him, since they were too busy running for their lives, but Bane didn’t mind. He just wanted to keep gloating. “I know I may have said this before, but it still rings true: I will be your reckoning, Gotham!”

“...Ummm, don’t you mean WE’LL be your reckoning?” a gruff yet slightly feminine voice asked as a bit of the goo rose up, giving Bane a look. 

But the man just rolled his eyes. “Yes yes, fine. We’ll be Gotham’s reckoning. There, happy?”

Clayface huffed. “I knew I should have teamed up with Penguin instead...” she mumbled.

Just then- *screeeeeech!* The two villains turned and saw the Batmobile park right behind them, just narrowly avoiding the puddles of radioactive clay. Without any hesitation, Batman and Robin then leapt out of the car, a stern and determined glare on their faces.

“Ah, the Batman! I was wondering when you would show up...” Bane told him, not sounding too concerned whatsoever. 

“Call it being fashionably late,” Batman retorted, narrowing his eyes, “So, never thought I’d see you two working together-”

“Yeah, there’s a reason,” Clayface dryly commented, though it was ignored by both the heroes and her temporary partner-in-crime.

“-But I see you’ve managed to put all of that stolen radioactive waste into a quote-unquote advantage for the two of you!” Batman then added with a mumble, “Which, no offense Robin but I probably would have figured that out sooner if you hadn’t kept interrupting me. Just saying. ANYWAY-” He took out one of his special Bat-a-rangs, one equipped with liquid nitrogen, and got ready. “I’d say your fun is about over, and it’s time to clean up!”

“Mm, you can fight if you want, Batman,” Bane told him while Clayface began to smirk, “Just don’t blame us if you start to feel overwhelmed, or outnumbered!” With that, the glowing clay-goo began to bubble and grow, causing the Dynamic Duo to take a couple steps back. After a couple seconds, more Clayfaces began to form out of the goo, all of them chuckling as they quickly surrounded the heroes.

But this didn’t deter them too much. “We may get outnumbered...” Batman started to say as he began putting on his electrified metal-knuckles.

“But we’re not outmatched!” Robin finished for him, his fists already at the ready. And with that, the fight was on!

*POW!* *BLAM!* *SMACK!* *SPLAT!*

As powerful and huge as Clayface could be, she still wasn’t much of a fighter. Plenty of good defense, but very slow. Nearly every attack the heroes threw landed, and while the damage from them would vary, most of them still did something!

Electrified punches, strong kicks, in-sync fighting, and (of course) a few icy Bat-a-rangs brought her glowing army to just three or four of herself left! It also didn’t help that whenever she did try to go on the offense, Robin would always have his bat-dad’s back, and vice versa! Clayface growled in frustration. She had to do something! 

Deciding that she’d had just enough teamwork for today, she allowed part of herself to flow over and grab onto Robin’s foot while he was distracted by the fight. “Huh? Hey- EEP!” Even if he noticed it right away, Robin still couldn’t get himself free in time, and gave a yelp as he was lifted up.

“What’s the matter? Afraid of flying solo?” Clayface taunted before easily tossing him several feet aside, through a streetlamp (causing it to break apart) and onto the hard sidewalk. 

Batman gasped slightly. “Robin!” He tried to get over to his sidekick, but was easily blocked by Clayface’s reforming army. She shoved him to the ground, and the numerous Clayfaces started to laugh as they surrounded him. 

But of course, it took a lot more than radioactive clay to make Batman give up. “’Puter!” he shouted, “Firefighter mode! Now!”

“Okay. Activating fire extinguisher.” The hood of the Batmobile transformed into what looked like a sort of cannon. 

“Huh?” Before Clayface could even ask what the annoying bat-pest was up to, she was blasted with several gallons of cold, thick foam - foam that could fight against both fires AND chemicals! And as the Clayfaces began to screech, Batman got back on his feet and continued the fight. 

“...Ughhh.” Sitting up slightly, Robin groaned. “Don’t, don’t worry, Padre! Ugh, I-I’m on-”

There was a loud thud as something big and very heavy landed in front of him. Slowly, Robin looked up, and found himself staring into the glowing, green eyes of Bane. The Boy Wonder gulped.

“What do we have here, hmm?” Bane said as he continued to loom over him, “The radioactive waste may not be able to slow your father down, but perhaps I still have one advantage left...”

Robin scooted back a bit, trying to hide his fear the best he could. After several weeks of crime fighting, he had certainly gotten used to going up against intimidating villains. But even so, he hadn’t had too much experience with Bane, plus the guy was just pretty intimidating in general! 

“So what do you say, Bird Boy?” the terrorist asked, “Are you going to come quietly? Or am I going to have to make you be quiet?” 

“I-I-” Moving back a bit more, Robin flinched slightly as he felt his hand brush up against something metal. His eyes widened a bit. The streetlamp! Of course! “...Sorry Bane, but-” He grabbed the long piece of slightly broken metal and brought it forward, smacking Bane right in the face with it while knocking him down. “-I don’t feel like getting kidnapped today!”

“OW! Why you-!” Picking himself off the ground, the masked villain then rushed forward towards the boy. Luckily, his metal weapon wasn’t just strong, but it was light too, which allowed Robin to jump and flip over Bane with ease. At the same time, he used each moment of momentum and added height to land more attacks. *WHAM!* *SMACK!*

Bane growled. “Enough! You will be defeated!” Raising a buff arm, Bane then slammed his fists down, nearly hitting his tiny opponent. But rather than be intimidated, Robin just gave another glare and decided that it was about time for this fight to end.

Using the metal pipe as a pole, Robin launched himself upwards, somersaulted downwards, extended his leg, and kicked his would-be kidnapper as hard as he could in the face - which finally knocked him down for good! Not quite unconscious yet, but still hurt enough to know that he had lost. 

With that, Robin sighed, still gripping the metal pipe tightly. ...After a moment though, he noticed just how quiet it had gotten. Oh no, did he miss something? Had something happened to his dad?! 

Quickly, he turned around - and saw both a single, nearly-defeated Clayface and Batman (who was mid-punch) staring at him in awe. “...Whoa,” was all either of them could seem to say. As for Robin, he just gave them a sheepish smile in return. 

With the two villains defeated and the goo now mostly harmless, it didn’t take long for the Gotham City police along with several clean-up crews to come onto the scene. Their own job now done, the Dynamic Duo stepped aside, sparing a few waves and “You’re welcome”s to the various grateful citizens before heading to the Batmobile.

“That was some pretty great fighting out there, kid,” Batman told him as soon as they had a moment alone, a proud smile on his face, “I couldn’t have kicked Bane’s butt better myself.”

Robin grinned, his eyes widening. “Really?!” 

“Yep. ...And hey, looks like you finally found yourself a weapon,” his father pointed out, “Not bad. Not bad at all.”

“Heh, yeah!” Robin nodded, twirling it around a bit, “Who would’ve thought a metal stick could be so handy?” He then frowned. “But wait, shouldn’t I leave this here, so they can rebuild the streetlight.”

“...Oh, right. Yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” Batman nodded. However, after a moment of thought, he gave the boy a small smile. “Although, I do have another idea...”

()()()()()()()()()()

“Come on, Grandpa! Bat-dad says it’s almost ready and I want you to see it!” 

“I know, Master Dick, I’m coming,” Alfred replied, holding back an amused chuckle as the boy dragged him along. 

In retrospect, it wasn’t that big of a deal. He was pretty much just receiving a present, and not even a surprise present at that. But even so, just the thought of having it was enough to make Dick excited. 

In no time at all, the two of them made it to the armory - and just in time. “Just finished putting the finishing touches on it,” Batman announced as he turned to face them, making sure to keep his son’s present behind his back. 

Dick’s smile grew as he rushed forward. “So it’s ready then? Can I have it now, Padre? Please?”

“Wait for it...” Batman told him, forcing him to wait just one second longer before he revealed his new weapon: a shiny, metal bo staff. “Tada!” 

Gasping a bit, Dick took the staff from his father and looked at it. “Whoaaa!” It was so shiny! The metal had also been painted a dark red with a couple gold highlights - which just made it even more special in Dick’s opinion, considering that his father usually only built stuff that was either black or very, very dark grey. 

In this form, it was only about the length of his arm, but with a flick of his wrist, the staff extended. Grinning, Dick did a couple test swings at the air, along with a couple flips using it. He’d still have to practice with the staff a bit of course, though he had a feeling that this practice wouldn’t be too hard at all. Just like with his suit, having the staff just felt completely natural - completely right. This was definitely his weapon. 

“So, pretty cool huh?” Batman asked once Dick had finished testing it out. 

Dick didn’t even hesitate with his reply. “It’s perfect!” he shouted, making both Batman and Alfred chuckle a bit, “Thanks, Padre!”

“No problem, kid. ...Though, in my opinion, it’s not totally perfect. I mean, we could always make it even cooler later. Like, maybe make the ends of it electrical or something.”

Alfred frowned a bit at that. “Erm, yes but, perhaps those adjustments could wait until he’s a bit older?” He suggested, looking a bit concerned.

Batman rolled his eyes slightly. “Fine, we’ll save it for your birthday, or maybe your adopted-versary.” 

“Heh, yeah,” Dick nodded, still admiring his new weapon, “...Though, I don’t mind if I have to wait a bit longer, really.” He smiled at his father. “It’s like I said. To me, it’s already perf-” Catching something out of the corner of his eye, Dick jumped up slightly as he threw his staff down, hitting the boomerang dead center and causing it to fall to the floor before it even had the chance to hit them. 

“Oh my... Very good reflexes,” Alfred commented, clearly impressed.

As for Batman, he just smiled slightly as he picked the old boomerang up. “Oh hey, I was wondering where this thing went.”

“Huh, I guess it really is like they always say,” Dick shrugged, “Boomerangs always come back. ...Eventually.”

“Yeah. ...But Bat-a-rangs are still way better.” “Oh definitely.” “Certainly no doubt about that.” 

THE END

((Lol, hope you guys enjoyed this! Also, to anyone confused as to why I made Clayface a girl in this: the character is voice by Kate Micucci in the movie, so I assume they’re female. But this isn’t confirmed in the movie so maybe Clayface is still a boy in the Lego!Verse? Idk, I’m just speculating. But yeah, anyway, thanks for reading! ^v^))