More Bloodweave being freaks for each other because these past few weeks have been rough (ft. everyone’s favorite freak, Ascended Astarion 🔞)

Mission gone right

Hi guysss. This is 18+ ty :3

Word count: 1596

Genre: Smut, kinda dark? R is bad basically

Request: no

Warnings: Wanda sex magic, swearing, alcohol (think that's it)

A/N: we got votes for both angst and smut so I kinda combined both? I feel like this isn't angsty enough so imma write something super angsty next. Then I'll go back and do some more spidey duo xxx

"What to do, what to do, what to do..." You paced back and forth around your living room. "Ugh!" throwing your hands up in the air, you flopped down on the sofa, leaving your legs dangling over the arm. Switching on the TV, you saw that there was a new display at an art gallery. You looked around your walls and saw nothing as pretty as the painting on the TV.

"I guess one more couldn't hurt..."

The TV then changed to show that the Avengers were making a special appearance considering Tony Stark owned the gallery and it was it's opening night.

With newfound determination, you got dressed in a red dress with a neckline that dropped all the way to just above your navel and a slit that went all the way up to the middle of your left thigh. The dress gave you the freedom to move but still looked like it was just something pretty to wear. You grabbed your clutch (because god forbid a woman has pockets) and headed out.

~~~~~

Soft music played as people with more money than sense wandered around the gallery. Women wore pearls loosely and men had watches just begging to be taken. You had to focus. You were there for one reason and one reason only. The oil painting apparently cost millions. You didn't really care about that - it was a nice touch, sure - but not the reason you wanted it. You told yourself it was because it was a pretty picture but maybe it was more to do with the fact a pretty mindreader was going to be there tonight.

So far, you had done well to avoid the guards and cameras. You had stolen from this place a few times before and you knew that they rarely changed their security because you had cameras on them. You had seen a few of 'Earth's mightiest heroes' and had tried to ignore the disappointment you felt when it wasn't Wanda.

It's not like the two of you had history, but you were at HYDRA when the twins were too. You were a failed experiment. Your powers were useful, but not useful enough. They also took a little time to form. Time that Strucker didn't want to waste. You, Wanda and Pietro spent about a year together before they went to the 'good side' and you delved deeper into what your powers could do for you. You'd think that HYDRA would love the fact you could convince people of anything and erase all traces that you had ever been somewhere, but apparently they weren't looking for spies, they had enough of those.

You strolled around until you made it to the bathroom, waiting there for the rest of the evening. You had everything planned, walk up to the picture, take it from it's frame and leave out the front door. Everything was going according to plan until you heard footsteps behind you.

"Hey! What are you doing there!" You opened your mouth to speak but you were grabbed and dragged round the corner and into a storage room.

It was Wanda.

"What the hell are you doing here!" Wanda whisper shouted as guards jogged past our hiding place.

"Same as you apparently." You realised Wanda hadn't noticed how close the two of you were, cupoards were very small...

"You just fucked up my night out."

"Sorry darling, at least my night is going splendidly." You winked and leaned in closer, watching as the anger transformed to lust on her face.

You were taller than Wanda by maybe half a head so she had to look up at you as she tried to formulate a reason to get out of there. Technically, she didn't even have to be there. She could walk out right now and the guards wouldn't even bat an eye and yet something was making her stay.

You moved slightly and Wanda groaned ever so faintly. It was so quiet that you would have missed it if you hadn't been so close to her. You then realised that your leg was conveniently placed between Wanda's, and what can you say? The storage cupboard was small. It wasn't your fault.

Okay, it was maybe a little bit your fault.

"Oh darling, has no one been taking care of you?" You mocked, leaning in and whispering over the shell of her ear "Want me to take care of that?"

Wanda froze even more. Her mind was racing so fast that there was no possible way for her to read yours even though she was desperate to do so. She hadn't seen you in forever but when she glanced over when Tony was telling her a particularly boring story, she couldn't help but gasp at how beautiful you were. Wanda had hoped that you were just there to admire the art work but she knew, deep down, that that would be too good to be true.

"Cat got your tongue?" You were unaware of the turmoil you caused for Wanda. Too focused on your own fun and the way her suit hugged her in all the right places. You wanted nothing more than to fuck her there and then. You didn't want a meaningful relationship with Wanda, just something physical. The two of you were occasional fuck buddies when you were both at HYDRA - the relationship turning slightly toxic very quickly.

You both liked to see how quickly one could get the other jealous. Whether that meant flirting with other people and making sure the other one saw, or just outright sleeping with whoever was nearest. While it seemed that Wanda had grown out of that toxicity, finding love with a glorified Alexa, you never had.

"Why save me darling? I can handle myself."

"You were two seconds from being caught" It was a little disheartening to hear her accent slipping, the last little piece that reminded you of the Wanda she used to be.

"No. No I wasn't." you lifted her chin up and spoke into her neck "I don't need you to save me."

Wanda let out another groan, much louder this time as her hips bucked on your thigh.

"Shhh" You chuckled lowly "We don't want anyone to hear you, right?"

You grabbed her hips and kissed her. It was rough and fast. Wanda whimpered and began grinding harder, trying to get more friction. One hand traced lightly on Wanda's thigh and the other tugged at her waistband. Wanda got rid of them instantly with her magic and you slipped your hand into her panties.

"Shit sweetheart, your toaster not giving you the satisfaction you need?"

"I don't want to think about him" Wanda let out with a slight growl, her accent getting heavier again, like how it was when you knew her.

"Sweetheart when I'm done with you, you wont think of anything else for months."

"God you're a cocky bitch. You're all talk and no action."

"No?" You pushed two fingers into her. You weren't feeling nice enough to start off slow and she was wet enough for it anyway.

Wanda's back arched as she let out a moan and you kissed her chest, her blazer falling open to reveal an extremely unbuttoned shirt. She tried to push your hand further, desperately chasing her release but you pulled away, taking your hand and licking your fingers, watching as Wanda gulped.

"Please..."

"But darling, I think the guards are gone." You smirked as the witch basically threw a temper tantrum.

"So? I haven't felt this good in so long" Wanda shoved her own hand back to where yours was. It was strangely extremely hot to see her try and get back to her high. She suddenly opened her eyes and looked at you. You could see the red wisps surrounding you before you nearly doubled over, looking up at Wanda who wore an evil smile.

"Now you know how I feel. Are you going to get back to it?" Wanda had never done this before. When you had known her, she had little to no control over her powers, only being able to control things with her mind and read others thoughts. She had been practicing.

"Fuck you."

"Well yes, that's what I'm trying to get you to do."

You dropped to your knees and took the rest of her underwear off, slowly licking her as she swung a leg over your shoulder. "Shit y/n, just like that."

You worked your fingers in and out of her, feeling everything you were doing to her on yourself thanks to her magic. You got slightly sloppy as you both neared your climaxes. You suck and bit along her thigh and on her clit until you felt her clench around your fingers. You both saw stars as her magic continued to fuck you, drawing out your orgasms until you were both sweaty messes.

~~~~~

You never did get the painting that night. You didn't really get anything you wanted that night. You sat on the top of your building, one leg swinging and a bottle of something strong in your hand, just watching the city buzz at night. As you sat there watching the tiny people come home from their jobs to their loving families, you wondered if you could have had something like that with Wanda. Then you laughed as you remembered that she was probably wrapped up in the arms of Siri, taking another swig from the bottle, you got up and prepared for your next job.

Sweet Sugar

4 | Crosses

pairing: tom holland x reader

warnings: swear words, underage drinking (not much tho, nothing descritive and nothing like “Skins” lmao), suggestive scenes in some chapters, not smut!! but minors be aware. Fluff/angst/drama/ Y/n and Tom being stupid teenagers with feelings.

words: 2.5 k

a/n: english it’s not my first language, Sorry for any mistakes! If you want to be tag on the next chapters, please let me know

Summary: Y/n, Harrison and Tom has always been best friends. Since childhood they’ve always been close, but what happens if after a break up with her first boyfriend, she starts to feel something more about Tom

PART 4! If you want to read the other parts click here

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I woke up the other day feeling a little better, which was good. I washed my face thoroughly, put on a pair of jeans, a Beatles T-shirt along with a jacket and left my room, ready for another week of torture.

- Good morning mom... - I was saying going down the stairs, but I remembered that she had already left for work. Which was good, because that way I didn't have to talk about the party.

I had my coffee, in the silenc  and soon after opened my phone, until I got on Instagram and saw that Tom had posted pictures of the party. The caption said: Thank you all! you guys are awesome! The photos from the party were great 😂

I was scrolling the photos, the first ones were all of us at the table, some were blurry of the people dancing... until I saw one of him with other people from school: Meghan was hugged him from the side making the peace sign with her fingers and he was kissing the top of her head. I sighed feeling my eyes fill with tears again. Okay, maybe I wasn't as ok as I thought.

I blocked my phone and put it in my pocket, taking my backpack and leaving the house, otherwise I would going to be late. I had to focus on school, not crying for silly things, I had to pay attention in my tests, that was more important than anything.

I went down the street and found Haz already waiting for me in the same place, I approached him and when he looked at my face, he made a pitying one.

- You saw the photos didn't you? - he asked and I nodded as he hugged me.

- It's alright Haz, I'll be fine- I said releasing him after a few seconds and he looked at me raising an eyebrow doubtingly - It's no big deal! By the way, I won't talk about it anymore, if we don't go now, we'll be late for school. - I said pulling him and we started walking.

- Okay... But just to close this subject, Tom sent me a message yesterday asking if you were okay and if there was anything wrong because you left early without saying goodbye.

- Hmm, and you didn't say anything right?

- Of course not! I just said that you weren't very used to drinking and that was all, and he believed... - Haz said and I breathed a sigh of relief.

- Good... He also texted me yesterday, he even wanted me to go to his house to tell me about Meghan.

- Well, whether way, he still thinks he's your best friend, nothing more than that...- Haz said, and I hated that he was right.

- It's true, and he's just my best friend, nothing more... - I emphasized the JUST- Did he tell you anything else about Meghan? - I asked and when Haz was going to answer I cut him - Never mind, It’s better if i don’t know. - I said waving my hand in the air.

- If you want it that way... - he replied. - Oh god you two have the same class today right? - he asked and I put my hand in my forehead. I had forgotten that I had English today for the first two classes and Tom would be sitting right next to me.

- I had even forgotten about that. But you know what? I'm going to stay there like a champ and ignore everything. - I said determined and Haz laughed feeling a little sad for me.

- Okay, I support that, but...- he was talking and I cut him again saying: shhh.

- No buts, and now enough of this subject, because we're already arriving. - I said and he rolled his eyes in agreement.

We arrived at the corner and Tom was already waiting for us as usual. He wore a blue sweatshirt and a backwards cap, black jeans and white sneakers. Obviously he was gorgeous as usual, which was ridiculous, but no sign of Meghan, which was good for now...

I tightened my grip on Haz's arm that I was hooked on and he smiled encouragingly. We got closer and Tom looked up from his phone, hanging up and putting it in his pocket.

- Hey strangers! - He said putting the backpack on his back, shaking hands with Haz and me with the usual kiss on the forehead. I lowered my eyes, smelling his scent and smirked. - You better y/n?

- I am, staying in bed all day yesterday did me good. - I said as we headed towards the stairs.

- That's good! And even better that now you have two classes with me- he said winking and Haz looked at me apprehensively.

- HA-HA, very funny. Too bad I'll have to pay attention in class and I won't be able to talk to you. - I said shrugging and Tom looked at me with an ironic face.

- Wow shortie, I felt rejected now. - He said pouting and I rolled my eyes. Of rejection I knew well.

- Well, I have to go because I have a presentation about geography, so, see you guys later? - Haz said when we arrived in the hallway, waving and looking at me discreetly as if he was saying: good luck.

- Let's go, grumpy face? - Tom said pointed for me to go ahead. I rolled my eyes looking at him, which he laughed and we went to the class.

I sat a little further back in my usual seat and Tom sat behind me. I was feeling claustrophobic, but it was only two classes, I could survive this. But when Mr. Ribbs came into the room and started talking, I lost all courage i had.

- Good morning students! Today the two classes will be more dynamic. As I know you had a difficult week, with so many papers and tests, I decided to leave these classes for you to go to the library and pick up any book to read and then give me a summary about it. - he was talking and I was excited, because I loved reading and I could still get my book and be quiet without having to talk to Tom, right? - But... I want you to do this in pairs. - wrong - Happy reading! - He said and everyone stood up forming their pairs and leaving the room one by one.

I felt someone nudge my shoulder and tooking a deep breath I turned around, seeing a smiling Tom.

- Good, reading... At least you like to read, because I with my dyslexia... - he laughed.

- Yeah good... it fit like a glove... Shall we go? - I said and we got up going towards the library. If Tom thought my way of talking was a little dry, he didn't react, which was good.

We arrived at the library and I was looking among the shelves for something easy and good for us to read.

- Y/n, darling... I have to tell you about yesterday - Tom started talking excitedly as he followed me through the halls. - After you and Haz left, a lot things happened...

- Hmm, I'm glad you had fun Tom. - I said a little disinterested picking up some books and looking at the synopsis.

- Yea! I had a lot of fun, but what happened was...

- Hey, how about we read Pride and Prejudice? It's one of my favorites, I think it's a good one, because we just need to read the main parts to refresh our memory. - I said, interrupting him.

-Yeah... Sure, I think it's a good one. - he said as I grabbed Jane Austen's book off the shelf and headed toward one of the tables.

- Shortie, how about if we read this outside? I think it's better than staying here, besides, we can talk better. - Tom said and I stopped turning around. Damn it, I was counting on staying there in the library anyway, so he wouldn't be able to say anything about the night before, because they were going to tell him to be quiet.

- Okay, good idea... - I said, giving up on to try to inventing another excuse.

We left the library and headed towards some tables outside. They were empty, except for a couple of couples scattered around the yard who had the same idea. I sat down and Tom sat next to me putting the book on the table and pulling out his notebook so we could write something down.

- So, as I was saying... We were on the dance floor, right, and Meghan and I were talking about the theater and other things, until... Guess what? - He started talking and I raised my eyebrow, while trying to distract myself with the book. - She said she thought I was cute and that I had a cute, sexy look. - He continued and I laughed ironically.

- So far so good, right... Until she just kissed me in the middle of the dance floor! - He said as if it were the most extraordinary thing in the world. Yeah, I thought with myself, I was there and saw everything, that's why I'm feeling bad and I can't even look at your face right now... I wanted to say it, but I just looked at him pretending to be interested.

- And mate, it was the best kiss of my life! We stayed together practically all night... Damn, I've dreamed about this so much since childhood...

- Good Tom, it must have been a really good birthday gift, right? - I said, looking at the book again.

- Yea! It was perfect...- he said and I could feel him staring at me. - Hey, you don't seem very excited about my little conquest... - he nudged me pouting and I looked at him.

- Nah, it's just that you guys are always hooking up lately, so I'm just not surprised...- I replied shrugging.

- Y/n Meghan is not just a hook up, she is an old passion, she is special - he said and I felt my heart ache a little while looking away. - You dont like her?

- It's not that I don't like her... I don't even know her, I just... I think she did it after you started getting more popular with the theater, because before that she didn't even look at you...

- That's not true, besides, people can change right? Maybe she realized that I'm not as bad as she thought before... I don't know... But as you said, you don't even know her, so I didn't understand you being mad like that. -he said scribbling in his notebook.

- It's not that I'm mad, I just... I didn't wake up very well today, that's all... 

- Yeah... But you don't need to project that to others around you, I thought you'd be happy for me.- Tom said and I looked at him ironically.

- Yeah, but there are days when we're not okay Thomas and not in the mood to be throwing confetti at every girl your friend kiss at some party. - I said and regretted it right away, it wasn't fair to him.

Tom looked at me in surprise, as I had never talk with him like that. Even as kids we didn't fight, why was I being such a bitch now? He took his things in silence and walked away leaving me with tears in my eyes.

I shook my head trying to get rid of what had just happened. I picked up the book and tried to read it, but I couldn't even get past the first line. Damn, why did I have to have those feelings? It wasn't fair.

I thought about going after Tom and apologizing, but I don't think he wanted to see me right now. A few minutes passed and the class was almost finishing when I felt someone nudge my shoulder. I turned in hopes of seeing Tom, but was surprised to see Steven standing up in front of me.

- Are you okay? I heard you fighting with Tom earlier, I never saw you guys fight like that, so I was worried. - he asked.

- I'm fine Stev, it was just a silly disagreement, nothing to worry about. Are you okay? - I asked trying to change the subject.

- Yeah, just studying a lot, you know, I have to go to business school. - he said and I agreed. Steven always wanted to work at his father's company, but for that he had to go to business school in Japan, because there was one of the company's units there and that's where his father wanted him to live. A lot of his family was Japanese, so he had an advantage with the language and culture. But that was one of the reasons we broke up, after fighting a lot about who was going to live where. - And you still focused on journalism?

- Of course, forever and always. - I said and we laughed, hearing the bell saying the class are over.

- Well, I have to go, I have to meet Elle, good luck with your essay. - He said pointing to the book.

- For you too. - I said smiling and he left towards the building.

I got up to get my things, scanning the yard with my eyes, but there was no sign of Tom. I sighed and put my headphones on, heading towards our tree. As I was already out there I ended up arriving first, so I sat down and played the song Crosses by José González.

I waited a few minutes and saw Haz approaching and I took off my headphones as I watched him sit beside me.

- So..How everything went? Where is Tom?-  he asked looking around.

- A disaster... - I said, rubbing my hands over my face. - We ended up arguing, I said some things without thinking and he left without saying anything.

- Oh y/n... I don't even know what to say, but did you confess something to him? he asked and I widened my eyes.

- No! Are you crazy? I told him I didn't trust Meghan, but in a rude way... - I said and Haz took a deep breath hugging me sideways.

- Well, you can't control your feelings...

- But I can control my tongue. - I said and we laughed a little. - How was it with Gracie? Did you guys talked today? - I said changing the subject.

- I talked to her a lot by text during class, I even asked her if she wanted to spend some time with us now, but she said she had to hang with her friends...

- Hmm. - I said putting my hand on my chin losing myself in thoughts as I watched the patio to see if I could see Tom. And after a lot of looking I found him. And there he was sitting on one of the benches near the building with Meghan hugging him, she with his cap on her head and the two of them were laughing and talking excitedly to each other. Until he gave her a kiss and she reciprocated.

Hello dear💕. Idk if you accept requests but I wanted to ask you something where the reader is really insicure and she's scared to be naked in front of Timothée. Maybe you can had a fluffy smut. I'm sorry if I haven't make myself clear or there are some errors but english it's not my language 😅 Thank youuuu💕

so I got this request some time ago and originally was very daunted by it. as someone who’s struggled with image issues and an eating disorder for most of my life, I was scared to write something this close to home. however, I felt it was important that I do so not only for my lovely anon but also for myself. I really hope everyone who reads this feels the love they deserve. your body is exactly what it was born to be. hope you guys like it 🥰

Proserpina (T.C.)

(angst, body image anxiety, smut, cursing)

“God, my feet are killing me. I wouldn’t have worn heels if you had told me we had to hike back to the car.”

“Babe, just take them off.”

“But what if I step on something??”

“The car will be right outside the elevator when we get there, Princess.”

You mocked his words back to him, wrinkling up your nose at him teasingly. He threw his head back and laughed, offering you his arm as you slipped your shoes off your feet. “Ugh, thank you. That’s so much better.”

True to his word, Timothee’s driver was waiting for you when the elevator doors slid open. He opened the door for you, pecking your cheek and making you giggle before you ducked into the car. He circled around and slid in next to you, taking you under his arm as the driver pulled out of the parking garage.

“Wanna come over to mine for dessert tonight?” His innocent eyes twinkled under the street lights, making your heart flutter as always.

“Do you have vanilla ice cream this time?” you asked, raising a brow.

He gasped, pressing a hand to his chest. “What kind of host do you think I am? I’m mortally offended.”

“Oh? How can I ever earn your forgiveness?” You batted your eyelashes at him playfully.

“Mm, I have a few ideas…” he smirked, his nose bumping yours. You giggled girlishly, nipping at his bottom lip before pulling him into a smiley kiss.

“I adore you, Timothee,” you grinned, the French pronunciation feeling foreign on your tongue.

“And I adore you, Y/N Y/M/N.” He lit up the entire backseat with his smile. You wanted to make him happy like that all day, every day. “Happy six weeks,” he sang, kissing your temple.

Six weeks. It hardly felt like it had been that long since you two had decided to make things official, but time flew by with him. In fact, you probably wouldn’t have even realized if he hadn’t suggested a dinner date to celebrate. As much as you wanted to be cautious and take things slow, you found yourself wanting more of him every day. You simply couldn’t get enough of him. He’d been so patient with you, understanding that you hadn't had good experiences with relationships in the past and that you needed time. You couldn’t understand what exactly you’d done for the universe that brought him to you, but you were eternally grateful.

Squeals and giggles echoed through the halls as he chased you up to his apartment.

“Shhh! You’re gonna wake up the neighbors” he laughed, reaching around you to unlock the door. His arms wrapped around you from behind as you two waddled into his apartment intertwined. You spun around in his embrace, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“What are you thinking, pretty girl?” he asked with a head tilt, seeing your thoughts cross your face.

You blushed, biting your lip. “Can we dance?” you asked coyly, adjusting a curl against his forehead.

“I would love that,” he beamed, tugging you toward the living room. He plugged his phone into the speaker system, turning on some soft music before pulling you back to him. His hands slipped comfortably into the small of your back as he pulled you close to him, your hands locking behind his neck. Everything felt so easy with him. He gazed at you with a soft smile, swaying gently.

“What are you thinking about?” you asked this time, your voice soft as so as not to interrupt the moment.

He hesitated a moment, letting out a little nervous laugh and shaking his head. “I just am so in love with you,” he confessed, brushing his thumb across your cheekbone.

You felt breathless. “I love you too,” you replied easily, turning to kiss his palm.

He pulled you closer, meeting your lips halfway. Every touch was so tender and genuine. His large hands splayed out along your back against your silk dress, drinking in the sensation of your kiss; he was wholly enamored with your everything.

You could almost instantly sense when his tempo changed. His fingers began to curl into the fabric of your dress, his lips growing more fervent along with his tongue now. You reciprocated, hands tangling into his decadent curls. You two had shared several heated makeout sessions before, but nothing more as of yet. It wasn’t that you had been actively waiting; it just hadn’t felt right yet for either of you yet. Perhaps that’s why you could so easily detect the difference then. You could feel where this was going and felt sudden and intense anxiety spark in your belly. You wanted him, and you could feel that he wanted you. Yet, your chest tightened dramatically as his hands began to roam lower down your back.

Just as easily as you could sense him, he could you. He pulled back, his eyes dark, but his brow furrowed. “What is it?” he asked breathlessly, searching your face.

You shook your head, forcing the anxiety down. “Nothing. ‘Comere,” you smiled, pulling him back down to your lips by his tie. He chuckled against your mouth, his lips beginning to wander down your neck. You couldn’t help but gasp, willing yourself to relax into his touches. You couldn’t understand how you could ache for him so much and yet feel such dread at the same time. You barely registered his hand slipping up your dress before you reflexively caught his wrist in your grip.

“Woah, hey, hey,” he jumped, pulling away. “Was I going too fast? Fuck, I’m so sorry,” he began to ramble, worry filling his features.

You let out a shaky breath you didn’t realize you were holding, shaking your head quickly. “No, no, baby, please, it's not you I promise. I just -“ You were cut short, unable to catch your breath. You clenched your shaking hands, quickly coming to the realization that you were about to have a panic attack. You stepped away from him, feeling everything at once; you were mortified.

“Y/N, breathe, love,” he instructed, quickly recognizing what was going on. He took your hands and placed them on his chest. “Breath with me, please?’

You had to force yourself to meet his eyes, focusing hard on the slow rise and fall of his breaths and trying to match them with your own. You cursed yourself as tears slipped down your cheeks. “I’m so so sorry, I don’t know why I’m being like this,” you choked.

Timothée’s hands found yours against his chest, holding them comfortingly. “Love, no, it’s okay. You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m sorry I pushed.”

You shook your head, sniffling softly. “No, you didn’t; I wanted it I just-“ It grew harder and harder for you to speak around the knot in your throat. He gently pulled you closer, wrapping you in his embrace. He had this way of hugging that made it so that he completely enveloped you in his lanky arms, his mop of curls against your cheek as he lowered himself down to rest his head against your shoulder. The simple action seemed to force the final bit of tension from your chest in a deep exhale.

“We don’t have to talk about it if you aren’t ready,” he assured, rubbing your back. Keeping you close to his chest, he sat down on the sofa, allowing you to sit in his lap with your bodies perpendicular to one another.

“I really do think I’m ready. I love you so much and I want to give this to you. I’m just.. scared.” You fiddled with the tie on your dress, unable to meet his eyes. You knew the reality of the situation. It was an anxiety that had plagued you well before you’d even met Timothée. Something programmed into your brain told you that you had to feel this way about yourself ever since you were young. You struggled to find the right words. “I-I’m afraid that you... I just- I don’t like my body,” you finally confessed, forcing yourself to look up at him to gauge his reaction.

To your surprise, he looked almost shocked. “What? Seriously?” His brow was drawn together and his voice whispery, as though he was afraid to spook you.

“And it’s not because I don’t trust you or anything like that, I just... am scared you’ll see me differently. Be less attracted to me. Even though rationally I know you never would, I can’t ignore the anxiety,” you continued, feeling yourself rambling.

Timothée stayed quiet for a moment, making you worry he thought you were foolish for such a thing. He hadn’t stopped rubbing your back since you’d sat down, his other arm draped across your lap to hold you close. “I feel so honored that you feel safe enough to share that with me, Y/N.” His words surprised you, though they often did. He thought and felt in such abstract angles, and it was one of the many reasons you were so in love with him.

“But, it breaks my heart to heart to hear you say that.” His eyes were sad as he looked over your face, but not in a way that made you feel pitied like most people did. You could see that he genuinely ached to make you feel better despite knowing it wasn’t in his control. He tucked your hair behind your ear, staying quiet again for a beat.

“When I first saw you, do you know what I thought?”

You shook your head against his palm.

“I instantly was reminded of Gian Lorenzo Bernini’s work I’d seen in the Louvre. Specifically, Proserpina popped into my mind. All of his work is astounding, but the way he is able to make stone look soft and malleable is just... breathtaking. It’s so hard to resist the temptation to reach out and touch it; make sure that your eyes are being deceived. You made me relive that feeling again.”

You were speechless. All you could do was sit and listen as he bared his heart to you.

“Every edge of you is soft and round; there isn’t a single single feature that is harsh. Every time I look at you I’m continually amazed by your beauty, Y/N. I can’t help but want to reach out and touch you.” His voice was just above a whisper, only audible between just you and him; a sacred secret.

Such words couldn’t make you believe he was just saying it to make you feel better. He so clearly was speaking from his soul, bare before you with unabashed vulnerability.

“And my love for you far from stops at your looks, mon amour. I’m in love with your soul. The way you laugh. The way you sleep. The way you wiggle around when you’re eating your favorite food. All of it,” he smiled, pressing his forehead against yours.

You couldn't help but let out a little giggle, reaching up to stroke his cheekbone with happy tears glistening in your eyes. “You are the sun, Timothée. Thank you.”

“Anything for you,” he whispered, leaning down to capture your lips. You kissed him back eagerly, hands cradling his face and stroking his freckled cheeks. Any ounce of doubt you’d had before was gone; you were ready to give him all of you. His hand tightened on your thigh, making your heart race, but for the right reasons this time. Your hands found his collar, slowly beginning to undo the buttons and loosen his tie. You practically melted when a soft moan was pulled from his throat. “Are you sure you want this?” he paused, wanting to make absolutely sure.

“I’ve never wanted anything more, Timothee,” you replied, a new seriousness in your demeanor. You shifted so that you were on your knees straddling his lap, his head tipped back to meet your lips. His hands slid up the back of your thighs, feeling his heartbeat in his ears. His tongue curled against your lips, sending chills down your arms. You allowed yourself to sink down into his lap, his hands tightening on your hips as your bodies met. You could feel his lust pressing against your thigh and it made you involuntarily whine in need. Timothee’s head fell back against the sofa, his brow furrowed in pleasure. You took the opportunity to attack his beautiful, exposed neck. Tongue and teeth made a slow journey from his collarbone to his earlobe, a new sense of safety allowing you to act with more confidence.

He groaned louder. “You’ll be the death of me, babygirl… Bedroom?” You’d never heard him sound so wrecked before, and it made your legs weak. You slipped from his lap and the two of you hurried into his bedroom, his hands never leaving your skin. You kissed him hungrily on the mouth again and made quick work of his tie the rest of the buttons on his shirt, leaving his torso exposed. You pressed your palms to his warm skin, eliciting a soft whimper from him. His hands slid up your back, finding the zipper on your dress and pulling it slowly down your spine, making you shiver. A soft exhale of his name and your dress pooled around your feet. He didn’t pull away quite yet, wanting to make sure you stayed as worry free as possible. Gentle hands pressed you back against the mattress, and you willingly laid back, exposing yourself to his gaze.

He stopped his movements, his breathing heavily as his wide eyes took you in. “I told myself I wouldn’t stare, but my imagination was far from doing you justice,” he panted, reaching out to trace the curve of your hip with his fingertips.

You naturally wrapped your arms around yourself, feeling so exposed under his gaze.

He tsked, lightly pushing your hands away. “Don’t hide. Please never hide.” One of his legs kneeled on the bed between your legs, allowing him to lower his lips to brush against your ear. “You are a goddess, Y/N.”

You audibly whined, your hands naturally finding his shoulders. You felt smothered but with bliss; he was euphoria in the purest form. “Baby, I need you, please,” you pleaded, pressing needy kisses against the side of his face where you could reach. He quickly complied, lifting himself up to shove his slacks and underwear to the floor. You sat up, taking in the sight of him completely exposed before you. The expanse of his pale skin shone under the New York moonlight. Just as he had described, you couldn’t help but to reach out and touch to make sure he was real. He whimpered, his length twitching against his navel as your lips followed you hands, pressing soft kisses along his tummy. His hands skimmed over your shoulders, reaching to undo the clasp of your bra. You helped him, dropping it to the floor before falling back into his duvet. He promptly climbed over you, settling between your thighs as he met your lips again. However, you were incredibly distracted by the way his length pressed against your wet, heat. “Timothee, please,” you begged again, reaching between your bodies to touch him.

“Oh, Y/N, fuck..” he cursed. As much as he wanted to prolong the foreplay, you’d made it clear that you were becoming impatient, and he wasn’t about to object. His hand replaced yours, guiding himself into your warmth. The stretch was absolutely divine, forcing your eyes to roll back. The restrained sounds of pleasure slipping from both of you bounced off the high ceiling, echoing to your ears and making your blush hotly. When he finally bottomed out, he lifted himself from the crook of your neck meeting your eyes. “Holy shit.. Oh my god, I love you,” he murmured, pressing his sweaty forehead to yours.

“I love you too. You’re everything,” you replied breathlessly, pushing his hair from his face. He wordlessly asked if you were ready before beginning to slowly pull out almost all the way before pressing back in a bit quicker this time. You cursed loudly, feeling every inch of him. Unsurprisingly, he was as much a tasteful and artful lover as he was an individual. His rhythm built until you were both covered in a sheen of sweat, expletives and sweet nothings passed back and forth in between heated kisses. It wasn’t terribly long before you both reached your brink.

“Timmy, I-“

“Me too. Let go, love,” he panted, his face pinched up in pleasure as he fought to hold his composure.

One, two, three more shaky thrusts, and you were done for. Your back arched as everything went white, your toes curling from the pleasure consuming your senses. Timothee, Timothee, Timothee; his name was the only coherent thought left in your mind as your body shivered through the most intense orgasm of your life. Slipping down from the high, you forced your eyes open to watch as he too found his peak. His head fell back, the muscles of his stomach tightening as he cried out and spilled into you. He curled forward, tucking his face back into the crook of your neck as he finished, hot pants hitting your slick skin.

You both bathed in the afterglow, Timothee eventually regaining the strength to sit up and roll off of you. Your chest instantly ached, feeling too far from him. He seemed to sympathize, pulling you into his chest. Your head lolled back, meeting his eyes.

He let out a little laugh, and only then did you realize you were smiling up at him like a lovesick fool. Perhaps you were. He placed a lingering kiss on your forehead, adoration filling his bones. He felt so fiercely for you, and you could feel it like an inferno locked inside his rib cage. Neither of you could quite find words worthy of breaking the silence so you stayed quiet, gazing at one another until you eventually drifted off into the most restful sleep you’d ever known.

A Slytherin [Harry x Slytherin!Reader]

Anonymous Requested:

hi idk if you do these but could u write abt Harry x slytherin oc :) it can be any topic u want angst fluff smut or whatever... I haven’t been able to find anything with Harry and a slytherin girl it’s crazy 💔💔

Rating: PG Warnings: Fluff! Words: 2490 Pairing: Harry x Slytherin!Reader A/N: Hope you like it! Proud of my House! I’ve never really read Harry fanfic so I hope I captured his character right!

Some say being a Slytherin is a curse, but others, truly wise individuals, would differ.

Some sneer and look down at Slytherins for being the House associated with antiquated prejudice and outgrown wizarding ideologies from another time. The House of the Evil, The House of You-Know-Who, The Heirs of Salazar Slytherin.

Ambition. Cunning. Leadership. Resourcefulness.

Are the traits that one’s branded with a crest bearing an emerald snake above their hearts cherish. Traits that can allow one to go far and succeed in whatever it is the witch or wizard’s most deep desires is, regardless of the darkness or the apparent impossibility of the goal.

Nothing is impossible for a Slytherin.

Not even such a feat such as making Harry Potter fall in love.

xxx

“I want him,” The Slytherin confidently claimed her objective from across the Great Hall. She ate her food mindlessly a determined glint in her eyes.

“Who?” Millicent Bullstrode asked squinting her eyes to try and see who her chamber mate could possibly be referring to. The other Slytherin girls attempted to catch a glimpse of whomever she could’ve been referring to.

“Potter?” Pansy Parkinson gagged and turned her head back quickly to grimace in horror to her friend.

“Yes,” She admitted with an overconfident smirk stretching on her lips.

Pansy gaped in horror bringing a hand to her mouth. “Salazar’s beard,” She gasped shaking her head. “But why?” “He’s so arrogant and thinks he’s untouchable,” She scoffed bitterly at Dumbledore’s favorite. “Saint Potter… He’s not even fully one of our kind,” She spat referring to his lack of blood status.

The infatuated Slytherin ignored her and continued to gaze from a far. She was currently fixating on Harry’s permanently messy hair.

“I don’t care.”

She really didn’t. None of that mattered to her. Didn’t know what it was she liked about Harry so much. Her not so secret crush had always been a part of her, kind of like an itch on your nose. It’s right in your face, comes and goes, but you can’t quite put your finger in it. Maybe it was his loyalty to his friends, his bravery, maybe it was how unwaveringly kind he seemed to be to everyone, even to her despite the fact they were both in rivaling Houses. Or maybe it was something else. He was also easy on the eyes.

“Oh, you know how she is,” Daphne Greengrass sighed with an amused smile as she drank her cup of tea. “Loves chasing waterfalls, maybe just as much as Potter loves breaking the rules.”

“It’s never going to happen,” Daphne added lightly nudging her friend. “You know, that right?”

All Slytherin girls arched their eyebrows in agreement.

“That’s okay,” She smiled confidently. “I like the chase.”

Stunned Millicent shook her head in disbelief, “This I gotta see.”

“Ugh!” Pansy exclaimed frustrated. “You’re going to give the House a bad name!” She protested. “Not to mention we’ll probably lose points!”

From across the Great Hall, Ron Weasley elbowed his distraught best friend. Harry was as per usual deep in thought, stressed and distracted by the fact that there was a psychopath plotting to hunt him down (and no not the Slytherin girl).

“She’s starring at you again mate,” Ron spoke in a low voice leaning over.

“Who?” Harry asked not quite paying attention to his surroundings.

“Do you ever pay attention?” Hermione asked looking over her shoulder over to the Slytherin table.

“That Slytherin girl.” Ron also starred. “What did you do to her, she seems- angry?”

Hermione rolled her eyes dramatically and shook her head. “Honestly, the both of you,” Sometimes she struggled to believe that the three of them had somehow managed to outsmart the Dark Lord for more than a handful of years now. Both completely oblivious. Hermione closed her book shut and shaking her head and packed up her stuff. She would let the two of them figure this one out.

“Now what?” Ron asked raising his hands. “What’d I say?”

Harry shrugged just as confused. He turned away from Ron and raised his gaze to meet the Slytherin girl’s. He was surprised however to find that she did not look away. Instead, she kept her gaze steady and a slow smile stretched across her features. There was a mischievous look in her eyes a confident allure that entrapped him and wouldn’t allow him to tear his eyes away.

It was then that he learned she would be nothing but trouble.

Xxx

Trouble always seemed to have a way of finding him.

Trouble had an alluring look.

Trouble was approaching. Harry wasn’t sure if she bumped into him or if he was the one to not mind his step.

Trouble had found him.

“Oh,” She said accidentally dropping the books she had been carrying. “Merlin,” She muttered innocently under her breath kneeling and picking up her scattered notes and texts.

“I’m sorry,” Harry apologized bending down and being the gentleman, he was helping her pick up her books. Snitches and Witches: Women in Quidditch, Advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts, and It’s a Muggle’s World.

Wow, all of these books- they were all topics he was interested in. “You’re-“ He began to acknowledge her name.

“Thanks Harry,” She thanked and took her book from his hand. “You know my name?” The Gryffindork seemed a little startled by this.

“Well, of course I do,” She tugged a strand of hair behind her ear. “I mean, it’s in our History of Magic book,” She smiled at him sweetly and stood up.

Ah, yes of course.

Harry was about to ask her another question, but she left him standing with the word on the tip of his tongue.

“I have to go,” She batted her eyelashes at him. “Nice running into you Harry,” she smiled at him before walking away. There it was again that teasing smile that seemed to scream danger, those crazy eyes that seemed to peer into his soul and the trailing scent of sweet perfume he had smelled somewhere before as she walked away from him and turned back to flash him a smile he wouldn’t forget. To his surprise Harry found she had forgotten a parchment behind. He called for her, but she had already vanished around the corridor.

Curious he picked up the note and unfolded it.

‘Meet me in the Forbidden Books Section at Midnight.’

Xxx

Of course, it had been planned.

Everything leading up to this event had been planned. It had been weeks of flirting from a distance. From little innocent looks to even smiling at each other from across the classroom.

Only a Slytherin would be resourceful enough to ask around what Harry Potter’s interest where, what his timetables looked like, where he spent most of his time, who his closest friends are, did he have any love interest?

Ginny Weasley who?

“Oi, Blaise,” Our protagonist said to her friend during History of Magic. “Didn’t you say you found girl Weasley to be attractive?”

Blaise simply shot her a glare. Why on Earth would he ever go for a blood traitor such as Weasley? “I bet you even a handsome bloke like yourself wouldn’t be able to woo her,” She gave Zabini a sly look. He ignored her. “I guess even she’s out of your reach Zabini,” she let out a sigh slightly dropping her shoulders.

Determined. Unaware of the manipulation. That made Blaise Zabini take Ginny Weasley out of the picture. At least temporarily which was part of the Slytherin’s ambitious plan.

That meant she wouldn’t be a distraction anymore.

It was midnight and the Slytherin girl patiently awaited hidden in the Forbidden Books section. She was careful not to be seen when leaving the Slytherin dormitory. It would be unfortunate if a prefect on duty or even worse if Snape himself caught her sneaking out. 

Even worse, caught her sneaking out to see Harry Potter.

Hearing footsteps, she turned around yet saw no one. Just dusty books and moonlight creeping through the large windows. She was alone in the library, or so it seemed.

Eyes wide, she held her wand ready to light the room or attack if necessary.

There was no one there.

Paranoid she once again lowered her guard. It seemed like Harry was late, but he was definitely showing. She had no doubt about it. Everything had been calculated and carefully planned. He was at least that much of a man to reject her to her face and not stand her up.

Another wooden creak.

Turning once again this time with her wand lifted, she knew there was definitely somebody watching her.

“Who goes there?” She barked her tone demanding.

She wasn’t expecting a small yell to be caught in the back of her throat when a hand was placed on her mouth suddenly silencing her. Harry magically appeared before her eyes unraveling from an invisible cloak.

“Shhh….” He whispered holding her close. “Snape is here.”

Both turned to look towards the entrance of the Forbidden section where they could see light creep through the opening door.

Without any hesitation Harry pulled the invisible cloak over both of them hiding them from any prying eyes. The two pressed their bodies against the wall of books. Shoulders rubbing together from the closeness. She could smell the scent of his shampoo. What was that delicious scent sandalwood? The Slytherin’s breath hitched as her heart began to race. This had not been part of the plan.

She didn’t even want to think about what Snape would do to her. The two might even be expelled having been found in such an inappropriate setting.

“I know Potter is grandiosely skulking around Professor.” “You best be right Malfoy,” Snape sneered back at his student as the two carefully looked around the room. The Professor seemed more irritated than ever, the circles under his eyes darker from lack of sleep.

The Slytherin cursed under her breath. Leave it to Draco to want to bust Potter in the act of sneaking out. No doubt the selfish prick didn’t mind her being part of the collateral as long as Potter suffered.

“I thought I heard something,” Draco said passing right in front of them. Nervous, the girl clung to Harry’s arm tightly squeezing it as the two held their breaths. One wrong move, a sneeze a loud breath and both would be in serious trouble.

“I heard he was meeting a girl here,” Malfoy continued. His head rapidly turning around as he scanned the room for any clue that Harry might be here.

Harry turned his head and then whispered, “I don’t think they’re leaving any time soon,” not that she minded being like this all night. When Snape and Malfoy were a safe distance away. His closeness and hot breath on her ear made the girl’s skin curl with goosebumps. Her grip on his arm relaxed slightly. Using her cunning the Slytherin quickly devised a plan.

“Not on my watch,” she muttered sticking her wand to poke out of the cloak. She pointed at the entrance of the library from a far and with some quick spell work made the door open and-

SLAM!

The slam shattered the loud silence in the room and instantly Malfoy and Snape turned towards it. “They’re leaving!” Draco exclaimed as the two fell for the red herring and rushed out of the room with their wands out.

Neither Harry nor the Slytherin moved an inch. Both remained still petrified in their closeness waiting to be sure the Slytherins were gone. An eternal minute passed before Harry let out a loud breath of relief. Laughing, the girl removed the cloak, the Gryffindor couldn’t help but chuckle at the fact they had almost gotten caught. He watched her in the dim moonlight appreciating how proud she looked at her accomplishment.

Realizing this she looked at him too, this time shyly, tugging a lose strand of hair behind her ear. Both had almost forgotten why they were here.

“So, you came?” She approached him boldly.

He couldn’t remove her eyes from hers and suddenly Harry felt cornered by her presence.

“We’d be good together, don’t you think?” She said playing with the insides of her sleeves. Harry swallowed hard, suddenly losing his voice. “See, that’s why I came,” He managed to say, his voice dropping to a lower tone.

There was so much on Harry’s plate always. Everyone around him was constantly in danger. He was a Gryffindor, and she was a Slytherin, both were supposed to be natural enemies. His friends would hate her and hers already hated him. Any information any activity – with so many Slytherins involved in You-Know-Who’s doing it was especially dangerous for her. But why did he want to go against the logical choice? Why did he want to say yes to her so badly?

“What if..” He began but couldn’t bring himself to spiel his miserable thoughts to her. “I’ll break your heart,” he shook his head regretfully. 

Not to mention those moment when You-Know-Who... Those dark flashes he couldn’t control. He could hurt her. 

He was expecting her to falter, to step down and walk away but instead she laughed a little, almost with arrogance. “Nobody breaks my heart,” She paused. “But maybe I’ll break yours,” She smiled coyly reaching for the edge of his crimson robes.

“I’m sorry,” He sincerely apologized to her.

Nodding bitterly, she finally stepped away with her head lowered with the embarrassment from his rejection, her eyes avoiding his perturbing green ones. Accepting they were star crossed lovers.

Feeling guilty Harry tried to make his rejection less painful.

“It would never work out,” he began to explain. “We’re too different, our Houses are enemies, and then there’s Voldem-“

“So, you don’t deny it?” She interrupted him. This time glaring at him with a terrifying fearlessness. They weren’t the eyes of somebody that had accepted rejection. He looked struck by her determination.

“You don’t deny you’re just as attracted to me as I am to you?” If he accepted, she would step down, she would leave him alone. However- if he didn’t deny his feelings…

Harry was quiet for a moment before speaking. “I don’t,” He admitted truthfully.

The Slytherin couldn’t help but smile at his confession. “Then?” She took his warm hands in hers. They were larger, square, welcoming and well fitting against hers like a complete puzzle. “So what? Who cares what the others think? I don’t,” Her smile grew, and she leaned in closer to him. So close her voice also dropped.  “Besides, like I said, we’d be good together. Together there’s nothing we can’t handle. Even You-K-“ She reassured him with boldness. “Even Voldemort,” speaking the taboo name tasted odd to her.

Her hand was greeted by the cold absence of his. 

Maybe this had all been one foul idea… 

Maybe he was right.

Feeling his hand caress her face she stood struck by the gentle gesture. He spoke her name so quietly she almost didn’t hear him.  “Can I kiss you?” He asked tenderly. His fingers tracing her cheek before advancing to bury into the hair on the nape of her neck.

She responded by leaning forward, brushing her nose against his and pressing her lips against his. She didn't mind his glasses, she didn’t mind this one bit. The Slytherin held him close her arms gently slithering up and clinging around his neck greedily holding him. He held her head in place tilting it to the side as their lips touched in a sweet kiss in the empty darkness. His lips were so soft, welcoming, they moved against hers perfectly, even gently nabbed at hers. It was everything she had dreamt about.

She smiled into the kiss, after all, a Slytherin always gets what they want.

xxx

Hope you liked it!

Harry Potter Masterlist

My Masterlist

Eren doesn’t know: Chapter 2 (Jean x Reader x Eren)

Dating Eren is hard, especially when he’s in a band that’s constantly away. While your boyfriend is gone, your friend Jean decides to help out with your loneliness. Problem is, neither of you can stop.

Warnings: Cheating (lots of it), smut (also lots of that, like, a lot), angst, one-sided love, language

Written by me an my bestfriend @msack3rman 😌 We thought of this late night on a drive and it stuck

1.4k word count

Chapter 1, ((Chapter 2)), Chapter 3, Chapter 4

"Baby, what if we went and got dressed and went out to lunch, then walked around the park?" You turned to him watching as his normally dumb grin appeared on his face. "You're still asking me on dates, after 3 years?" You smiled softly and giggled.

"Of course I am, you're just too hot not to." His face tinted in the slightest shade of pink and you felt your heart flutter. It almost felt like the first time you went on a date with Eren. Nostalgia had you feeling like mush and you couldn't help yourself as you leaned over and kissed him.

Eren kissed back with the same gentleness you were using. He felt loved and cared for and he had already forgotten. Just like he wanted to. Moments like these make him feel like the flame between the both of you was still ablaze. "C'mon sunshine boy, let's go."

Eren's heart was beating so fast in his chest he could feel it in his ears. You two raced to the door of the house, stumbling inside and laughing at one another. You weren't always competitive. But Eren brings out that side of you. He brings out all the best in you and you love him dearly for it. Your chest ached terribly as you remembered you wouldn't be able to change around Eren or shower with him tonight.

Eren had chased you to your shared bedroom pinning you under him. You felt giddy as he kissed along your neck and marked the skin there. Thank god Jean didn't bite you there. You felt your heart start to race when he pushed his hands under your shirt and dragged his nails across your sides. In a panic you gave an excuse to him, "I'm on my period, we can't do anything." There was a pout on your face and Eren pulled back with a matching expression.

Then he smiled and shrugged it off. "That's fine, I can spend my time with you without needing to have sex." Eren was celebrating inside, he wanted so desperately to text Mikasa and say, "I told you so." Eren knew you hated having sex on your period and your periods last for a while.

"You can shower first then, I'll decide where to go for food." He sat up sitting between your legs on the bed as he scrolled through his phone. You rolled over and dropped off of the bed, getting a nice outfit for the outdoors before going to the bathroom.

Eren shut the car off after parking and the two of you got out, making your way to the trail that went around the park. It had taken much longer to get out of the house to eat because Eren's manager had called him. The man kept your boyfriend on the phone for over 20 minutes. You grew annoyed quickly. Even in his down time, when it was supposed to be you and Eren it ended up being you Eren and anyone else who wanted to join.

He quickly made it up to you, even though he shouldn't have had to in the first place. His manager called him, he didn't call his manager. You shouldn't have gotten so upset because it wasn't his fault. But you couldn't help it. On the bright side, you're now walking with him at sunset. Eren's eyes shined so brightly in pure sunlight.

His skin was radiant and god he's just so handsome. He's so breathtaking, but you forget so easily when you're apart for so long. The low quality video calls honestly make you feel worse but hearing his voice as you fall asleep makes up for it. Eren's hand waved back and forth in front of your face, "You've been staring at me for a whole minute, are you gonna blink yet?"

You chuckled and grabbed his hand holding it as you walked with him. "I just love you a lot Eren. Don't bully me for appreciating you." He smiled and squeezed your hand as you looked away blushing. He didn't mean to fluster you, but he doesn't feel bad, your reddened face looked gorgeous under the last few rays of sunshine in the sky.

You had already walked around the entire park 2 times, talking about everything and nothing. Your phone went off for the 20th time since your date started and you were starting to get really annoyed. Another intruder on your quality time with Eren. You pulled your phone out and quickly glanced at the notifications, as soon as you noticed Jean's name you frowned and shut your phone off.

Eren glanced at you and let out a sigh. "Angel?" You pocketed your phone again and turned to give him your full attention. "Would you make me choose between us and my band?" Your frown deepened.

Today, you can't give him the answer you usually do. You knew you'd be as patient as you could, but you couldn't handle this question tonight. "Eren, I don't want to answer that.. I feel like I have to choose between my happiness and yours."

"I love you, but I also love my family. You both mean the world to me, I'd feel lost without both of you." You squeezed his hand and took a deep breath. "I feel lost every time I wake up and you've left to go on tour without saying goodbye or when Armin will answer your phone and let me know that you've exhausted yourself until 5 in the morning every day for the past week while you're out cold."

You weren't angry, you were sad and you were tired. "I'm sorry. I don't want you to think of it like that." Eren's voice was soft and sweet. His heart felt like it had stopped and in his mind that flame between you two was starting to dim again. He tugged on your intertwined hands and it brought you to his side. You leaned against one another as you made your way back to the car.

This date was your idea and the whole point was to cheer Eren up and finally spend time with him. Now you just feel like crying because the majority of the date was focused around other people and it hurt that you had to choose what to sacrifice so Eren didn't sacrifice anything.

Moments like these make you remember why Jean is in your life the way he is now. You were doing something for you and you were being selfish. However, being selfish still feels shitty and suddenly you feel sick on the car ride back home.

After getting home, you left Eren’s side to go to the bathroom, pulling out your phone to look at the now 20 notifications from Jean. You rolled your eyes, he really couldn’t take a hint sometimes.

Hey

Are you up?

Do you wanna do smth today?

If you want we can go to lunch

I’ll pay

Ok ig not

Sorry for bothering you

Are you ignoring me?

Did I do smth? If so i’m sorry

Pls talk to me if smth is wrong

As you read through his messages, guilt began to build up in your throat. I mean, how hard could it have been to send a simple “Sorry, I’m busy” You knew you shouldn’t feel like this. You really did nothing wrong. All you wanted to do was spend some time with your boyfriend, who you rarely even saw anymore, and you could hardly do that today with all of the interruptions. You just wanted to be alone. No distractions, no interruptions. For just a moment to be rid of all guilt and shame. But, the knocking on the door brought you back, making you realize that it wasn’t possible.

“Yeah?” You call out through the door, not wanting to face Eren just yet. You could hear a sigh from the other side.

“I’m sorry for asking that earlier,” he sounded sincere and a little hurt, “I just love you and my band so much and I don’t want to ever have to choose between you two.” His voice was soft and you could feel a lump begin to form in your throat. “I know I’m gone a lot and I’m so sorry for that. I love you and don’t ever wanna lose you to something like this. Please just come out and talk to me.”

Letting out a shaky breath, you slowly open the door and when you see Eren and how upset he looks, you couldn’t stop the tears from falling. You wrap your arms around his middle, burying your face in his chest as you cried into his shirt. A hand came up to rest against the back of your head while the other ran across your back in soothing circles. “Shhh, it’s okay Angel, I’m here.” His voice was barely above a whisper and he rested his chin on top of your head. “I’ll always be here.”

Too Far and Over and Out

Pairing: Bang Chan x reader

Genre: smut

Summary: The last part in a very dirty Bang Chan series in which a one night stand leads to a bunch of fuckery.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

In this final installment, Chan makes you pay for kissing another and things reach a boiling point. 

Warnings: graphic sexual content (duh), swearing, fuck buddies, violence, choking, a bit of degradation, unprotected sex (be safe kids don’t be like Bang Chan), bit of romance, bit of angst

Word Count: 3K

Author’s Note: Ok. I never expected this series to receive the amount of love it has (heck I didn’t think this would even be a series!) so  just want to thank every single person who’s read it and left comments in their tags or reblogged or shown me any kind of support ♡ You have no idea how much I appreciate it! Thank you so much and if you like my writing, be sure to check out my other stuff cause I will be back with more~ ♡

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"What the fuck!"

The voice is startlingly loud compared to the hushed conversation you'd been in for the past few hours. Before you can even see where it came from you’re pulled from your new lover’s arms. Realization hits you like a dreadful bomb when you see the dark haired man you’d been kissing crash into the wall after being pushed by a shorter, blond haired guy.

Fuck.

Chan twists around and his eyes are wild. He grabs you by the arm and, without a word, drags you from the scene. You want to say something to make him stop but you’re still so perplexed by everything that’s just happened, all you can do is whimper at the painful grip he’s got you in. He looks around furiously as he takes you into a narrow hallway and through the first door he sees.

You let out a yelp when he yanks you in after him and immediately throws you against the wall, blocking you with his frame.

“What the fuck was that?!”

You stare up into his searing gaze, for the first time actually afraid.

“What do you mean?”

The corner of his mouth curls up but it’s not a warm smile. His eyes are fire and he’s not going to let you get away.

“What do I mean?” he scoffs, “You’ve got to be kidding me! You acting like a cheap whore is what I mean!”

The comment hurts and he has no right to talk to you like that. You want to speak up but he doesn’t let you.

“Tell me,” he goes on, jabbing you in the shoulders, “you do this with a lot of guys? Huh? You let them fuck you too? How many guys have you spread your legs for lately?”

The image of him and that other girl flashes through your mind and with it, all the anger and frustration you’ve been feeling towards him swells, threatening to burst from you at any moment.

“Answer me!” he yells, banging his hand against the wall.

“You’re an asshole, you know that?” you spit back and try to shove him off but he pushes you back with ease, his hands now tight around both of your wrists.

“You don’t talk to me like that,” he snarls, pressing himself too close for comfort.

This just rouses your anger further. “I’m not afraid of you,” you retort, still trying to pull yourself from his grip. He squeezes the blood from your wrists for a few painful seconds longer before one hand lets go and shoots up to your throat, applying a dizzying pressure.

“Well maybe you should be scared cause you’ve really fucking pissed me off tonight.”

You’re eyes flutter. It’s hard to breathe and for a moment there’s nothing you can do but gasp for air.

“Coming in here tonight, looking like a grade-A slut, it’s disgusting—”

You tear his hand from your throat. “Don’t you dare call me that!” you pant, trying not to choke on the air that rushes back into your lungs. “You’re the one that came here to pick up girls!”

His eyes widen for the fraction of a second but then they turn vicious once again. “You were the one sticking their tongue down a stranger’s throat!”

“As if you weren’t on your way to do the exact same thing!”

“Only because you left the moment things got real with me!”

“That’s—” you start but he cuts you off.

“You’ve been ignoring me for days what do you expect me to do huh? You're the one that disappea—"

“Fine, okay? Maybe I’m scared!” you let out in a voice shakier than you’d like to admit, “maybe I don’t want any of this confusing stuff! Maybe I just want things to be simple!"

“Well, I’ll make things simple for you then,” he interjects and presses himself flush against you, crashing his lips into yours.

You gasp into his mouth but can't help but kiss back. It feels like the floor has just been wiped out from under you and you swear, if Chan wasn’t holding onto you so tightly, you’d be falling down to god-knows-where. It takes more than a few moments for the initial shock to wear off but when it does, you manage to break the kiss.

“What are you doing?” you gasp, looking up at him.

“Making things simple for you,” he replies, instantly kissing you again. His hand slips into your hair to the back of your head so he can bring you nearer, letting his lips take yours more deeply. You let out an involuntary whimper. You’re so weak for him already that, when he pulls away for a brief instant your legs tremble.

“From now on, you’re mine and mine alone,” he breathes onto your lips before claiming them again. His free hand roams around to the small of your back to pull you impossibly close. His grip on you is tight but his tongue is soft and wet against yours, making you moan.

“I want you to be mine,” he says with another chaste kiss, “and I’ll be yours.” He doesn’t give you any time to respond for his lips find yours again and again, only growing in desperate passion and you can’t help but let him. He feels so good on you. His words echo in your mind as your hands find their way around his back and shoulders.

You feel a tug at your waist and you move, walking with him. You follow blindly until he twists the two of you around and pushes you down.

Your fall is broken by soft plush. You hadn't even realized you were in a bedroom up until now. He's on you in a flash and has somehow taken off his shirt in the process. You gasp into his mouth at the sudden weight of him on you. His hands find your wrists and pin them to the mattress while his hips are already starting to slowly grind into you.

You’re finding yourself looking for breath because his lips are merciless, kneading and tugging at yours as if it were their sole purpose. His familiar smell envelops you, reminding you of the incredible things you’ve done together. This only fuels your eagerness; you kiss back with more fervor and feel the side of his mouth curve up.

Without warning he rises, bringing you up with him until you’re on his lap on the bed, your legs straddling him. He fingers the hem of your dress and brings it up. You shift a little, allowing him to take the fabric up all the way over your head, leaving you in your bra and panties. He takes a short moment to ogle your body before meeting your eyes and capturing you with another kiss.

His hands roam the skin of your back, massaging you into him in a blissful, slow rhythm. You whine when he brings his lips down to your jawline, going down to your neck, where he knows exactly how to make you go crazy.

You let out a moan and press your fingers into his shoulder blades. His bare skin feels so nice. You let your nails run random trails up and down his back, feeling him start to harden beneath you.

He’s at your collarbones now, sucking you purple while his hands unhook your bra. His lips come off with a pop and he looks up at you dazedly. You know what he wants; your bra is off in a flash giving him more territory to mark.

He’s even more fervent than usual, sucking and biting bruises into your skin from your neck, your shoulders, all the way down to your breasts, making sure no one will ever be confused about who you belong to.

The feel of his lips, his teeth, the pain and pleasure, it’s tantalizing. Your breath grows heavy and, slowly, you start to move your hips into him.

The effect is instant.

“Fuck,” he sighs against your breast, “fuck, I want you.”

He raises his eyes to yours again and, shit, he’s never looked so good. There’s not nearly enough time to appreciate him though because he suddenly pushes you down onto the mattress and tears off the rest of his and your clothes. He looms over you and pins your wrists once again as you feel him position himself over your entrance.

“Chan?” you ask wearily but whatever you’re going to say next gets cut off because he snaps his hips into you all at once, filling you up so much, so fast, you let out a piercing cry.

The sound is stupidly loud and you’re scared someone might have heard you, but then Chan’s lips are on yours again and you forget everything.

“Shhh,” he hisses into you as he starts thrusting himself into you relentlessly.

But you simply cannot be quiet. His dick is so hard and you are so unprepared for this. You want to clasp yourself around him but he’s got you pinned tight so all you can do is cry out under him as the initial pain starts to turn into pleasure.

“Bad girl,” he pants and his hand comes over your mouth, stifling any sound you make. His voice shakes with the rhythm of his thrusts and you can now see just how far gone he already is. You’re stuck beneath him, unable to do anything but let him ride you until his spills over. And he will soon if he keeps going like this, you can tell. The way his face is slack in total ecstasy for you, brows slightly furrowed, lips parted; it drives you wild. You can barely breathe with his large hand covering your mouth and most of your nostrils but all it does is drive you closer to your high.

“Fuck,” he pants squeezing into your wrist, “fuck.” He pulls out swiftly, only to flip you over onto your stomach. Then he grabs your hips and pulls them up and back towards himself. You manage to get on your elbows just in time for him to slam himself back into you and recommence his assault on your body. The new angle he’s hitting you at makes you shudder. You bite into the pillow under you to keep from screaming as he bounces you around like a rag doll.

A hand takes hold of your forearm and pulls you back. At once, your lewd moans are released into the air, a thread of drool extending from your parted lips down to the pillow you’d been biting into.

Chan’s other hand clasps over your mouth again, pulling you up against himself.

“I said be quiet, baby girl,” he whispers hotly in your ear, never slowing down his hips.

You whine into his palm weakly, feeling yourself start to shake. You know you’re being too much but you’re out of control.

“Such a loud little whore,” he spits and he lets you go.

You bounce into the mattress and before you can do anything, his hand is at the back of your neck, holding you down. You’re suffocating in the plush pillow he’s keeping you locked in. Your desperate cries are now barely audible, which is probably a good thing because he’s somehow picked up his tempo, snapping his hips into you with an almost cruel intensity.

“You’re fucking mine,” he grunts, “you hear that?”

He’s panting and groaning above you and you wish you could see his face. You’re starting to struggle for breath and you’re seeing stars. You still hear him but everything is growing fainter by the second. You make out a few more mines until the rapid thrusting comes to an abrupt halt and you feel him release inside you. He lets go of your neck and half-collapses on top of you. He rides out his orgasm slowly, his lips grazing the skin of your back as he moans softly.

“Fuck, baby.”

You’re still catching your breath when he moves off you and when he turns you onto your back again you’re met with his signature smug smile.

“You thought we were done?” he says, cocking an eyebrow.

You open your mouth but don’t know what to say as he spreads your legs and promptly gets down in between them.

His tongue is on you at once, lapping up the mess he’s made.

This time, you clasp your own hand over your mouth to keep from letting everyone at the party know what’s going on.

But he’s not being quiet either. He moans into your heat like it’s the best thing he’s ever had.

“I’ve missed your taste,” he says before his tongue enters you. He goes in and out a couple of times and then moves up toward your clit, trailing softly around the most sensitive area, listening to your breath as an indicator of what to do next.

He looks up at you once and curses.

“You look so fucking hot,” he breathes, before sticking two fingers in you at once.

You gasp and he smirks, coming up to kiss your lips while his fingers continue to pump in and out of you.

“I bet you’d like to moan for me right now,” he whispers against your lips.

You can only let out the tiniest, most desperate whine for him, nodding.

He bites into your bottom lip. “Hmmmm,” he hums into you, curling his fingers inside you. “How about you choke on my dick instead?”

Your eyes go wide at the sudden remark and he’s already moving off of you. He lays down and tugs you on top in reverse so you’re facing his already hardened cock. He grabs you by the hips and brings them to his face so he can finish what he’s started. His lips are on your clit, sucking and a shriek escapes you.

“Get to it,” he orders and you do as you’re told, moving down and wrapping your lips around his cock.

“Good girl,” he moans against your center and his hands start to massage your ass.

You coat his length with your saliva and start to move up and down, slowly at first, getting used to his size as you always have to.

Even now it’s hard to keep quiet. He just knows exactly how to touch you to drive you nuts. He’s sucking at you with such eagerness, swirling his tongue against you, fingers squeezing into your ass, pulling you closer and you’re finding it hard to even focus on anything but your own pleasure. So you sit there, whining helplessly around his cock and, thankfully, that seems to work for him. The vibrations of your voice seem to spur him on. He moans into you just as you moan into him and you start to feel his hips move. At first he’s rolling his hips into your mouth slowly but after a minute or so he’s turned to bucking up into you, making you gag.

His dick twitches and pulses under your tongue, which prompts you to start hollowing out your cheeks. You want to hear him more so you move against his hips, trying to take him deeper. He claws at your skin and groans so deliciously against your clit. You feel yourself near your high.

“Chan I’m-” you start.

“I know,” he cuts in, voice muffled. His tongue travels up and down again before he starts sucking exactly where he needs to.

You squeeze your eyes closed as you moan around his hard cock, taking him in all the way. Tears stain your eyes because Chan is not letting up. His lips play with you as wave after wave of pleasure surges over you, making you shake.

You’re crying around his dick, digging your nails into his thighs as you cum and cum and all of a sudden, you feel him release inside your mouth and and the back of your throat. You gag but are unable to move so you let him fill you, swallowing him down until he comes to a stop.

You feel him tugging at your hips so you turn around to face him. He’s looking up at you, lips glimmering and eyes full of bliss. He takes your hand and pulls so you fall down into his arms. His fingers travel over your neck and collarbones, where your skin has turned all kinds of purple.

“So is this it then?” you ask, following his fingers with your eyes.

He kisses your temple and that’s a first. “What?”

You smile. “You’re just going to mark me 24/7 so no one else can have me?”

“I might have to, yeah,” he replies.

You roll your eyes and face him. “You won’t have to.”

“Oh?” he says, raising his brows at you, “and why is that?”

You mimic his chiding look and answer, “I’m not gonna say it.”

He let out a chuckle and pulls you closer. “Always so loving, you are.”

You lie in silence for quite a while, just staring at the ceiling, minds trailing off to whatever. It’s so nice. You almost think you might fall asleep right there in his arms, when there’s a sudden knock on the door and you both shoot up in panic.

Instinctively, you roll off the bed, taking the blanket with you. He stumbles after you, shouting at the door for people to ‘don’t come in!’

The two of you wait in fear for a full couple of minutes before getting up. The amount of rumors that would start if someone would find you two like this would be disastrous.

When nothing seems to happen, you go around the room collecting your clothes and try to make yourselves look at least a little presentable for the outside world. You run your fingers through his fucked out hair as he pulls your dress down further over your legs. You give each other the okay and approach the door. He cracks it open just a bit and peers out into the hallway. It seems to have emptied but he hesitates nonetheless. You’re about to say something when he turns around to face you.

“You know,” he starts, taking your hand, “I’m serious about this.”

His eyes are piercing yours. You feel your whole body heat up and, for once, it’s not because you’re horny.

“I want you to be mine and mine alone,” he adds, swiping the ground right from under your feet again.

You don’t know what to say at that. You just stare at him as his hand comes to cup your cheek.

“You’re so cute when you’re speechless,” he chuckles and pinches the skin. And with that, he opens the door and walks the both of you out.

So you suppose you’re going to have to rethink your opinion about Christopher Bang. Yes, he’s loud and obnoxious; and yes, he might have an ego more inflated than a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade float. But he’s also sweet and funny, and let’s not forget he knows how to fuck your brains out.

And he is your boyfriend now,

so you suppose he’s alright.

♡

Something More (1/12)

Summary: After a bad breakup you ask your best friend to take your virginity. It’s just friends with benefits. What could possibly go wrong?

Notes: Also posted on ao3

Warnings: angst, implied smut

Series Masterlist

"I'm sorry," you whispered, your voice cracking as you readjusted your body on Bucky's couch. You pulled the blanket tighter around your frame as you avoided looking at your best friend.

It was Saturday which meant it was movie night a tradition that had started when you guys were younger. 

It also meant that it had been a week and a half since your ex boyfriend had broken up with you and to say you weren't quite over it yet was an understatement. 

The last couple of days had been hell. The breakup had come out of nowhere and even though you two hadn't been dating very long and you definitely hadn't been in love with him you had really liked him. 

What had hurt you the most was his reason for breaking up with you. It was stupid. So fucking stupid, but it didn't stop the tears from pooling at the corners of your eyes or the feeling of your chest constricting every time you thought about him or the breakup. Which seemed to be every minute of every day.

Your other best friend and roommate Natasha had tried everything to get you to open up or at the very least leave your apartment. Nothing had worked. Not when she tried telling you that he was an asshole, that you deserved better, that any guy who would break up with you because you weren't sleeping with him wasn't worth it, not even when she admitted that she was glad that the relationship was over because everybody had hated him. That only made you feel worse. It made you feel stupid and pathetic that you had been so desperate to have someone like you that you had ignored all the warning signs that he was bad for you.

The only thing that had made you finally leave your apartment was the thought of movie night with Bucky. But so far you felt all you had done was ruin it. 

For starters you hadn't been able to focus on the movie, your eyes had stayed on the screen, but your brain hadn't been able to comprehend what was happening. And when Bucky had ordered pizza from your favorite restaurant all you had done was pick at it.

To his credit he hadn't said anything, hadn't pressured you to talk, hadn't asked if you were okay, he knew you weren't. He knew it from the moment he opened the door and had taken in your tear stained eyes. Had known it when he saw you wearing his sweatshirt, the old one, the one where the threading was coming loose at the hem, the one you only wore when you were sad and wanted to feel comforted.

It was killing him not to reach over and wrap you in his arms. He knew you well enough not to push you to talk, you'd talk when you were ready, but watching you huddled up on the opposite end of the couch and hearing your voice crack when you apologized was enough to break his heart. He hated seeing you like this especially because there was nothing he could do to ease your pain and the thought killed him.

Bucky reached for the remote on the coffee table shutting the tv off. Neither of you had been watching the movie anyways. Turning to face you he frowned as he tried to understand what you were apologizing for. Since arriving at his apartment almost an hour ago conversation had been light and infrequent. Searching for the right words and coming up empty he sighed. 

"You have nothing to apologize for, Y/N."

You could feel the tears threatening to fall and you struggled to keep it together in front of Bucky. It wasn't as if you hadn't cried in front of him before because you had, but something about this time felt different. 

"I do. I'm ruining movie night and... I..." Your words dropped off, your voice faltering as the tears you tried so hard not to let fall began to roll down your cheeks.

"Y/N," his voice was soft, too soft for you almost didn't hear him. 

Feeling the couch shift underneath his weight as he moved closer you felt his arms wrap protectively around your shoulders. Leaning into him you buried your head in his chest letting the tears fall freely now as you felt his hand rub small circles against your back. 

"It's okay, shhh I'm right here, it's okay." The words fell from his lips like a mantra.

Your fingers curled around the soft material of his shirt as the tears fell faster. Being wrapped up in his arms like this made you feel protected and cared for and you wanted to tell him what was wrong, but the words were stuck in the back of your throat. 

You weren't sure how long you stayed curled up in Bucky's arms crying, but eventually your tears slowed leaving his shirt soaked and your throat dry. 

"I'm sorry about your shirt," you mumbled against his chest, and you were.

Despite the current situation Bucky felt his lips curl up into a small smile. Of course that's what you would be worried about. Something stupid like his shirt.

"I don't care about the shirt, Y/N," he said, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, "I care about you. Are you okay?" 

He could feel you shrug against him and the smile that had adorned his lips only moments before was replaced with a frown. He hated seeing you like this, so broken and he wished there was a way he could take away your pain.

"I... I feel so stupid," you admitted, your words coming out muffled against his shirt. "I know that... I mean I didn't love him and we weren't together for that long and... and as Natasha said she was surprised we lasted this long, and I..."

 It was a struggle to get the jumbled thoughts in your head formed into coherent words that would make sense to Bucky. Aside from telling Natasha the reason for the breakup you hadn't talked about it much. It was usually so easy to talk to him. You guys had been friends since you were kids and there were no secrets between the two of you, but for some reason talking to him about this was proving harder than you thought.

"Hey, it's okay we don't have to talk about this," he murmured as if reading your mind. The last thing Bucky wanted was to make this harder for you than it already was.

"It's okay," you muttered. 

While you appreciated him being so gentle you knew that you should talk about this and not just because Natasha had told you if you didn't she was locking you out of the apartment until you did. Maybe if you opened up to him you'd feel better, doubtful, but it was worth a shot. 

Your voice was shaky as you struggled to put your racing thoughts into words. 

"He dumped me because I wouldn't sleep with him." The words tumbled from your lips sounding like one long word and you prayed that he got all that because you weren't sure you could repeat it. Your face was hot with embarrassment, your heart racing beneath your chest and not for the first time in your life did you wish a hole would open up and swallow you.

While it was no secret that your friends knew you were a virgin it was somewhat of a sore subject for you. You were embarrassed at your age to still be one and no matter how many times Natasha told you there was nothing wrong with it you disagreed. You weren't waiting for marriage or waiting for "the one". Nothing like that. It was more the opportunity never presented itself. You had only ever had two boyfriends. 

One when you were a teenager that had resulted in a few heavy make out sessions but nothing else. It had been fine at the time, but as you got older your lack of experience began to upset you. Which was why when your ex had first started to show you attention you had jumped into a relationship with him. It was stupid and reckless. Sure, at the time being with him and pleasuring him and having him touch you had felt good, but now all you felt were regrets and embarrassment at being so desperate. Deep down you had known he wasn't the right guy, but that hadn't stopped you from rushing into things. Part of you was glad you hadn't slept with him, but another part of you wondered if maybe you should have. At least you wouldn't still have been a virgin and maybe if you had he wouldn't have dumped you.

The sound of Bucky's angry voice broke you out of your deep thoughts. "'M gonna kill him. Fuckin' asshole. You deserve better than him, sweetheart. If he really cared about you he wouldn't have broken up with you cause you're a virgin. Hated him from the moment you introduced us."

You didn't have to look at Bucky to know that he was seeing red. "You're not gonna kill him because he's not worth it, Bucky," you whispered.

"He may not be worth it, but you are, Y/N. He had you locked in your room for how many days crying over him. He has you thinking there's something wrong with you because you're still a virgin. He deserves to have his ass kicked for hurting you." 

Bucky shook his head not understanding how you could let him get away with this. He swore if he ever saw him he'd punch him in the face. You deserved someone who loved you and the fact that you wasted so many months on him made him so angry.

"You're not gonna kick his ass either, Bucky," you said, a small smile curving your lips up. Despite the subject matter you couldn't help the giggle that tumbled from your lips.

"Huh. Who knew talking about kicking his ass would be what got you to smile," Bucky teased. Pressing his lips lightly to your forehead he was glad to see you smiling even if it was only for a couple of minutes.

The lightened mood and your smile didn't last. It didn't take long for your mood to shift as your mind continued to ask the what ifs. What if you had just slept with him? What if your next boyfriend did the same thing to you? What if... what if... what if... Your mind couldn't seem to stop and before you knew it tears were pooling at your eyes and you lifted your hand up to quickly swipe them away.

"Hey, come on don't cry. He's not worth it, Y/N," Bucky whispered, his hands reaching up to cup your face, the pads of his thumbs brushing away your tears. 

Knowing there was nothing he could do to take away your pain or say to you make you feel better left his heart feeling as if someone had broken it into a thousand little pieces. 

"Hey, shhh it's okay please don't cry, honey," he tried again, desperate to ease your pain. Pressing soft kisses to your forehead and your cheeks. "Tell me how to make this better, please Y/N."

"Sleep with me." The words were out of your mouth before you had a chance to think them through or take them back. You felt Bucky's hands drop from your face and you felt your stomach drop. There were so many things you wanted to say. That you were just kidding, that you were sorry, that you could explain, but nothing came out and as an awkward silence fell over you the only sound you could hear was your heart racing beneath your chest and your shaky breath.

It was a game of chicken, who was going to speak first. Bucky knew that he should say something, he could see you retreating back into yourself, could see the tears falling down your cheeks faster, could almost hear you berating yourself for saying anything in the first place. He knew he had to say something and quick before you bolted out of the apartment, but he had to be so careful here. He didn't want to say the wrong thing and risk you getting more hurt than you already were.

Reaching for your hands he let out a breath when you didn't pull away like he had expected you to. 

"Y/N," he started, struggling to choose his words. "I'm not takin' advantage of you like that." 

Bucky was met with silence and taking that as a good sign he gently brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. After a couple of minutes of quiet however he was beginning to question if your silence was such a good thing after all. 

"Look at me, please?" He pleaded.

You couldn't. You couldn't stand to look at him and see the pity reflected back in his eyes. It would break your heart and it was already so shattered you weren't sure how much more pain you could take. Had you been in a better frame of mind you would have appreciated his gentlemanly approach of turning you down given your current state. But you weren't in a better frame of mind and you took his refusal to heart thinking there was something wrong with you. When you had left your apartment you didn't think your night could have gotten any worse. How wrong you had been.

"You planning on ignornin' me the rest of the night?" He asked, a hint of his Brooklyn accent seeping through. 

His attempt at a joke did little to ease the tension in the room. Dropping hold of your hands he placed two fingers under you chin, tilting it up and forcing you to look at him. "Talk to me." His voice was commanding and you found yourself squirming under his intense gaze.

You didn't see any pity reflected back in his eyes, but that still didn't make this any easier. 

"There's nothing to talk about. I-I shouldn't have... shouldn't have said anything." You lifted your shoulder in a shrug as if that explained everything. 

Bucky wasn't letting you off the hook however and when you saw him narrow his blue grey eyes you sighed in frustration. 

"You said... you begged me to tell you how to make this better and then when I do you turn me down!" There was a tremor in your voice and you hated how you couldn't seem to stop crying.

"I turned you down because you've been cryin' over that asshole since you came over here! This really how you want your first time to go? Huh?" He asked. There was an edge to his voice you weren't quite used to. It was rare for you guys to fight and you were struggling to find your voice. His grip tightened on your chin when you didn't answer him.

"Y-yes," you stuttered, a small hint of uncertainty lacing your words, but you weren't going to back down. This was what you wanted even if the circumstances weren't exactly ideal.

Bucky didn't say anything. Part of him was surprised that you had said yes, he had been expecting you to come to your senses and realize he had only said no to protect you. Letting go of your chin he reached for your hand, pulling you up from the couch as he led you to his bedroom.

You were quiet as you trailed after him. 

This was what you wanted. Sure, you were wearing a ratty sweatshirt and your face was puffy from hours of crying. And you may have been wearing your least appealing bra and underwear, but none of that mattered you told yourself. It didn't matter what you looked like or where you were or what you wearing. All that mattered was that you were ready and you were with someone you trusted. And both of those things were true with Bucky. Soon you'd be rid of your virginity and you could move on with your life. At least that's what you tried to tell yourself as you struggled to ignore the little voice in the back of your mind telling you this was a bad idea.

So lost in your head you gasped in surprise when you felt your back make contact with Bucky's bed. You weren't given a chance to fully catch up because the next thing you noticed were Bucky's lips on yours, his body hovering over you, one hand gripping tightly to your waist while the other cupped your cheek, tilting your head just so. His lips moved over yours with a passion you weren't quite accustomed to. It was intoxicating and overwhelming and you couldn't stop the whimper that escaped when you felt his tongue slipping past your parted lips.

This wasn't the first time you and Bucky had kissed. When you guys were teenagers you had shared chaste kisses during games of spin the bottle and truth or dare. Those kisses had been sweet and short. And once or twice you guys had shared tipsy kisses on New Years Eve.

This kiss was something else entirely. It was hot and rough and it left you feeling dizzy and breathless and confused. You struggled to catch your breath once Bucky pulled back, but you weren't given a chance when you felt his teeth nipping at your bottom lip, his tongue swiping to soothe the slight stinging. Your brain was working overtime to catch up to all the new sensations and when you felt his fingers dip under the hem of your sweatshirt you knew you had to slow things down.

"B-Bucky," you gasped, struggling to get his name out in between kisses. 

It was so hard to focus on slowing down when you could feel his fingers inching up your stomach. His touch was gentle so different from what your ex boyfriend had been like. God, here you were making out with Bucky, getting ready to sleep with him and all you could think about was your ex boyfriend. Maybe Bucky had a point and tonight wasn't the right night. After all how were you supposed to be present and focus on losing your virginity when you couldn't stop thinking about your ex? This night just continued to turn into a disaster.

Bucky groaned when he heard his name tumble from your lips in a breathy gasp. Fuck. This wasn't how this night was supposed to turn out. He had expected you to back out by now, to realize that you weren't ready for this he did not expect you to be moaning his name and letting out these breathy little whimpers that were making him grow hard. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He had meant what he said earlier, he wasn't going to take advantage of you like this. No matter how good all of this felt. His ma had raised him better than that.

His fingers continued to inch higher and the feeling was enough to bring you back to your senses albeit slowly. It took a couple more minutes for the hazy fog to clear from your mind and when it did you pulled your kiss stained lips away from his, your chest rising and falling as you struggled to catch your breath. 

"B-Bucky stop,” you gasped.

"Having second thoughts, sweetheart? Thought you wanted to do this tonight?" Bucky asked. 

There was a smugness to his voice that pissed you off and had you narrowing your eyes, not that he could see given it was still dark in his room. Sliding his hand out from underneath your sweatshirt he rolled off of you, reaching over to his bedside table he flipped a light on bathing the room in a soft yellow glow. His blue grey eyes drank in your appearance. Your sweatshirt was twisted and crumpled around your body, your lips were plump and kiss stained and he couldn't take his eyes off of you.

“I did. I do. I just...” You said, your voice shaking as you struggled to keep it together. Running a hand through your hair you struggled to gather your racing thoughts.

As hard as you tried not to think about it you could still taste him on your lips. The taste of bitter beer and pizza. You could still feel his hand gripping onto your hip. Could hear the way his breath had hitched when his name came tumbling out of your lips.

None of those thoughts were helping to clear up the confusion you were feeling. His words echoed in your mind and you struggled to figure out how you guys had ended up here. Yes, you had been the one to ask him to sleep with you. And yes he had been the one who had initially turned you down saying he hadn’t wanted to take advantage of you. But... that didn’t explain the turn of events that had led the two of you to his darkened bedroom to make out. And it certainly didn’t explain why he was sitting next to you with a smug look on his face when you had been the one to put a stop to things.

“James,” you started. His first name spilling from your lips sounded foreign to your own ears. The only times you called him that was when you were mad or you wanted to annoy him. Glancing over at him you watched him swallow, a sheepish look adorning his features and you narrowed your eyes at him. “You wanna explain what the hell you’re doing?” Your tone was icy and not for the first time that night did you wish you had just stayed home.

“I didn’t think you were gonna follow me,” he mumbled under his breath. 

He was so screwed. What had seemed like such a foolproof plan earlier had blown up in his face and he was now left struggling to explain his actions to you. Running a hand over his face he let out a deep breath. 

“I knew you weren’t ready to have sex tonight and I tried telling you that Y/N, but you didn’t listen. I thought if I agreed you’d chicken out before we even made it to the bedroom.”

“So... so you... Jesus, Bucky!” You yelled. The confusion you felt earlier was turning to anger as his words rang in your ears and you put the pieces together. “So what were you going to do if I hadn’t stopped? Sleep with me even though you were the one who said you weren’t going to because you didn’t want to take advantage of me?”

“What? No! Y/N come on you know I wouldn’t have let it get to that,” he tried to explain. “I fucked up, okay? I thought I was doin’ the right thing. You weren’t listening to me and I couldn’t stand to see you so upset over that fuckin’ asshole.”

Reaching across the bed for your hands Bucky sighed when you pulled away from his touch.

Your head was spinning as you got off his bed, your feet moving across his floor as you paced back and forth. 

“No. No,” you said again. 

You were getting more and more angry as the seconds ticked past. Angry at your ex, angry at Bucky, angry at yourself, angry at the world and society. Stopping your pacing you turned to him lifting an accusatory finger in his direction. Tears were threatening to spill from your eyes again and you were angry about that too. How much more could you really have left to cry? The answer was a lot as the tears you tried so hard to hold back began to fall down your warm cheeks. 

“Don’t you dare James Buchanan Barnes,” you yelled, his full name spewing from your lips in anger and frustration. “You do not get to tell me when I’m ready to have sex or not. That is not your fucking decision. Do you understand me? You had no right to tell me you weren’t gonna sleep with me and then two minutes later change your fucking mind and say okay and drag me into your room and... and make out with me only then to change your mind again in some sick game you’re playing to get me to realize I wasn’t ready in the first place. God, Bucky do you realize how fucked up that this? I-I...”

“Y/N,” Bucky whispered softly. He had never seen you like this before. Sure, he had seen you angry and upset, but nothing like this. You were standing in the middle of his room as violent sobs racked your body. You were a mess and he was at least partly to blame for it.

In a flash he was up and off the bed as he wrapped his arms around you. Fighting against his touch you attempted to shove him away, your fists slamming against his hard chest as the tears continued to fall and you yelled at him not to touch you, but all Bucky did was wrap his arms tighter around you. Soft ‘it’s okays’ and ‘I’ve got yous’ spilling from his lips.

“I hate you,” you sobbed, “And I hate him so fucking much.”

Bucky didn’t say anything. There was nothing he could say to make you feel better. He knew he had to let you get this out of your system, that this was what you needed. And when he felt your knees start to give out he caught you and carried you back to his bed. His hands never strayed far from your body, his lips pressing delicate kisses to the top of your head, your forehead, your cheeks, the shell of your ear in between hushed murmurs of ‘I’m sorrys’ and ‘it’s gonna be okays’ and ‘I’m here ‘I’m not going anywhere  Y/N.’

The combination of Bucky’s quiet voice and the feeling of his hand rubbing small circles against your back began to bring you back down. Exhaustion wracked your body. All you wanted to do was fall asleep and forget about this night and your ex and the past week. Better yet you wish you had a time machine so that you had never met him in the first place. Your eyes stung from the near constant crying you had done and your throat felt scratchy. Sniffling you curled your body against Bucky’s. You were still pissed at him, but he was familiar, comforting and that was all you wanted right now.

“It’s gonna be okay, Y/N, I promise. ‘M gonna make this better. ‘M gonna fix this.”

Your eyes drifted shut as sleep settled over your exhausted body.

meraki (μεράκι)

[ may-rah-kee ] greek

(n.) the soul, creativity or love put into something; the essence of yourself that is put into your work.

⇢˚₊· what is this?

an event for every follower milestone we reach! you guys can send in a prompt + a character of your choice and i’ll write a short drabble/imagine or hcs for you

⇢˚₊· rules

‣ if you want to participate in this event, just go and send me a number from the prompt list below and a character you’d like me to write for (students only, manga-only characters are okay)

‣ please send in only one character per request, you can include 1-3 prompts though (go ahead and send in multiple requests if you want!) 

‣ i’ll write fluff, angst, crack or whatever (but not smut!!) 

‣ you can send in a plot or specific type of scenario you have in mind when you request but sending in just the character + prompt/s is fine as well 

⇢˚₊· a message

first of all, i’d just like to thank every single one of you for supporting me and reading my work. writing has always been something i enjoyed doing but i’ve never been so motivated and excited to write this much until i started this blog. all of your likes, comments, reblogs, and messages never fail to make my heart swell with joy. you’re all so sweet and kind, thank you so much for letting me share my work with you all, it means the world to me.

to all my friends, mutuals, anons, and anyone i interact with really, i’m so ridiculously glad to have met you all. everyone here has been nothing but welcoming and kind to me and i can’t thank you enough for that. i’ve met so many amazing, talented, hilarious people here and i’m so lucky to be a part of this community. i’m so excited to get to know you all better and make even more new friends as time goes by. 

i love you all 

—sage ♥︎︎

⋆.ೃ࿔* the prompts

“How could you possibly expect me to not fall in love with you?”

“I hate you so much.” “We both know that’s not true.”

“Why don’t you shut up?” “Why don’t you make me?”

“It’s 3 in the morning, I am not sneaking out with you!”

“I really want to kiss you right now.”

“Is that my sweater?”

“You deserve better.” “Better doesn’t want me.”

“This is starting to sound like some cheesy romcom.”

“That sounded a lot better in my head.”

“Don’t you trust me?”

“I should never have fallen in love with you.”

“Where would I be without you?”

“I love her/him so much, it’s not even funny anymore.”

“Remind me why I love you again?”

“Just kiss me already.”

“I may have had a few drinks.”

“How’d you get in here?”

“Are you jealous?”

“I am definitely not jealous.”

“I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“Can you not?”

“Why are you staring at me?”

“Because I like you okay!”

“I can’t imagine living without you.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Have you been fighting again?”

“Are you always this cheesy.”

“Is it just me or is this incredibly awkward.”

“This is your fault.”

“I trusted you.”

“I wish you felt the same way.”

“I’d do anything for you.”

“I really need a hug.”

“I was stupid to think I could do this.”

“I care! I care so fucking much!”

“Do you always swear this much?”

“Sorry, I’m allergic to bullshit.”

“I’m afraid of heights.”

“I can’t swim.”

“If I fall, I’m taking you down with me.”

“Why are you so warm?”

“Some hugs and kisses would be much appreciated.”

“You’re my favorite drug.”

“Don’t go.”

“I’m not good with people.”

“Ew, human interaction.”

“It’s 2 am, what are you doing here.”

“Yeet!” “What the fuck did you just say?”

“Words can’t describe how much you mean to me.”

“Let’s dance.”

“I can’t dance.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you.”

“I’m here.”

“What’s on your mind right now?”

“You shine brighter than the sun.”

“They never said this was easy.”

“Are we lost?”

“I’ve got this under control!”

“You are such an asshole.”

“Just shut up and kiss me.”

“This is so cliche.”

“You look like a mess.”

“Hide me!”

“Quick! Kiss me!”

“You’ve got me wrapped around your finger but I’m not complaining.”

“We have to pretend we’re dating.”

“I want to kiss you so badly.”

“You are very attractive.”

“You are everything I’ve ever dreamed of and more.”

“I don’t deserve you.”

“You’re so beautiful, I can’t even describe it.”

“We’re more than friends and you know that!”

“Stop pretending to be something you’re not!”

“I hate how you make me feel!”

“You make me feel so weak and stupid.”

“I never asked for this.”

“You messed with the wrong person.”

“You didn’t bring an umbrella, did you?”

“Where’s your jacket?”

“Who hurt you?”

“Don’t you dare fucking touch them.”

“You’re hurt! What happened?”

“You have a fever.”

“I’d rather stay in your arms.”

“Just for five more minutes.”

“I never knew you could cook.”

“Stop acting like a baby.”

“I don’t need protecting.”

“You are so dense!”

“Ha! In your face!”

“Hey, talk to me.”

“It was only a dream.”

“Shhh, it’s okay, I’m here.”

“Don’t be scared!”

“You’ll find someone and love them and live and die for them...and I will watch.” 

“Where’s your sense of humor?”

“I don’t know how to do this.”

“I don’t want to mess this up.”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“Is this really the time?”

“Get out!”

“I’ve imagined this moment so many times.”

“I don’t think I can hide this for any longer.”

“Do you regret it?”

“This is why I can’t have nice things.”

“How much did you hear?”

“How long have you been standing there?”

“I’m putty in your hands.”

“I didn’t even stand a chance.”

“We aren’t friends.”

“I don’t like him/her!”

“Don’t lie.”

“Why won’t you give me a chance?”

“I can change.”

“We probably shouldn’t be doing this.”

“It was worth it.”

“Your music is too loud.”

“Stop yelling!”

“Why are we whispering.”

“I don’t think they can see us.”

“You make me want things I can’t have.”

“How are you so perfect?”

“Stop undermining yourself.”

“I don’t understand your insecurities, you’re so perfect.”

“I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”

“I believe in you.”

“Only you matter.”

“It was you the whole time.”

“Don’t go, please.”

“You’re burning up.”

“There’s only one bed…”

“This isn’t what it looks like!”

“I haven’t exactly been honest with you lately.”

“Why do we keep running into each other?”

“Maybe it’s fate.”

“It’s a mistletoe…”

“I’ve never kissed anyone before.”

“I’ve never done this before.”

“Catch me if you can!”

“Ignore my friends, they’re idiots.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Can I sleep here?”

“Is that seat taken.”

“Okay, you caught me.”

“Are you ignoring me?”

“I didn’t mean it!”

“Are you flirting with me?”

“I made the stupid mistake of falling for my best friend.”

“I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”

“I never want this to end.”

thots and tears ❣ harryspet weekend of requests

I’m going to celebrate my followers (since I never did anything special for my 1k milestone) by doing drabbles/blurbs this weekend!! I compiled a list of smutty and angsty prompts (maybe fluffy) for you all to choose from as well as au ideas. Thank you @nsfwsebbie for helping me with the title!

RULES & GUIDELINES

You don’t have to follow me but it would be greatly appreciated!!

Please be courteous and only send one request especially if you’re using anon. 

When sending a request tell me the character(s) + 1 or 2 dialogue prompts (have fun combining them) + au idea (optional)

I prefer to write for (aged up) Peter Parker, Bucky Barnes or Steve Rogers. If you’d like to include MJ, Natasha, Wanda or Sam please combine them with those three. Threesomes and foursomes welcome ^^

Please don’t request similar stories that I’ve already written full one-shots for. Make these unique!! If you just want pure angst, pure smut or pure fluff then choose your prompts accordingly. 

Please read through all the prompts. There are a lot of good ones!!

Most of these will probably end up being around 300-700 words.

I write dark fics which means there may be mentions of violence, abuse, noncon/dubcon and just angst overall. If you have limits, please let me know. 

I may reject your request if I feel it’s too similar to what I’ve already written or if you ignore the guidelines I just set. I may also close requests if I get too many. 

Don’t choose prompts with strikethroughs. 

current status: requests CLOSED

PROMPTS BELOW

“Daddy’s home from work, pet. Have you done everything I ordered you to?”

“I’ve polished this anger, now it’s a knife.”

“Why don’t you smile anymore?”

“No, I’m not hoarding pictures of you. That would be weird!”

“Fuck you.”

“If I hear so much as one complaint coming from your dirty mouth you’ll go straight back into the cage.”

“you’re gonna hurt yourself even more if you do stupid things like that!”

“Move on.”

“Give me your phone. I’m going to read your messages.”

“I wish I’d never met you.”

“This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”

“I’m done. We’re done.”

“Why are you fighitng me?”

“Did you just bite me?!”

“Are monsters born or created?”

“I don’t want you in my life anymore.”

“Shut up or else!”

“Did you see the way they looked at you?”

“I’ll let you go when I’m finished with you.”

“Hand Daddy his belt and take your shirt off.”

“Now, smile for the camera.”

“i made you some soup, and i’m going to sit here until you eat it. i can wait.”

“You’ll do as I say.”

“I don’t like when they touch you.”

“Shhh. It’s all right. I’ll be gentle.”

“Daddy wants to hear you sing a song. Sit on my lap and make Daddy happy.”

“There’s no point in resisting.”

“Shit, are you crying? I didn’t mean to hit that hard!”

“I feel like you’re taking advantage of me!”

“How much did you drink?”

“Be a good girl/boy.”

“I’m not done with you. Turn over.”

“So … uh.. who is that person … they keep texting you?”

“You wouldn’t want him/her/them finding out about this, would you?”

“Ow! That fucking hurt!”

“Take off your clothes. Slowly.”

“Things are getting bad again.”

“Are things getting bad again?”

“No, you’re not going anywhere without me.”

“Stop crying.”

“Get up. I still have friends who want to use you.”

“They hurt you and I’m going to hurt them back.”

“Look what you made me do.”

“Shhh, shh. I’ll take care of you.”

“I love you.”

“I’m not changing my mind.”

“i really think you need to see a doctor.”

“how long has it last been since you slept?”

“It’s on top of the cupboard where you can’t reach it. Now ask me very nicely and I might lift you up.”

“If he puts his hands on you, cut them off.”

“You can’t leave me. You couldn’t live without me.”

“have you even been taking your medicine?”

“let me take care of you, for once.”

“I won’t stop until I hear you scream!”

“it’s okay to cry in front of me, you know.”

“oh my god, why didn’t you tell me it was this bad?!”

“I provide for you, you don’t have to work now.”

credit to: @rpmemetm @parismemes @ruadrisresources

I didn’t create any of these starters!!

AU IDEAS (optional)

Arranged marriage au - Angel/demon au - Assassin au - Apocalypse au - Android au - Amnesia au - Babysitter au - Bodyguard au - Bookstore au - Baker au - Band au - Bounty hunter au - Brothel au - Camp Counselor au - Camping au - College au - Criminal au - Caregiver/Little au - Castaway au - Doctor au - Domestic au - Enemies au - Ex au - Forbidden Love au - Fugitive au - Gang au - Hero/Villian au - Immortal au - Kidnapped au - Mafia au - Maid au - Marriage au - Neighbor au - A/B/O au - Porn Star au - Prostitute au - Royalty au - Serial Killer au - Stalker au - Stripper au - Tattoo Shop au - Werewolf au - Yandere au

I’ll tag all these requests with #thotsandtears !! Happy reading!!

Why we broke up (2) (m)

Words: 5k

Paring: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff

Summary: “ I know you’ll be a loving mother and a perfect wife, I can just see it in you,” you started sobbing loudly and he wrapped his arms around you for the very last time.

Warning: depression, mention of abortion, sex, slut calling in bed, and so much crying

a/n: Please read the warnings, it can be very triggering.  This is the final part!! I really enjoyed writing this fic, I hope you guys enjoyed reading it too. Please compliment me and tell me what you think, I’m low key a praise whore. :3

Part 1

Jungkook feels like an idiot when he is waiting outside your front lawn waiting for his Uber driver, he feels even more of an idiot when he tries to hide his hard on. He really didn’t expect this, hugging you, kissing you, and touching you. Nevertheless, he enjoyed it since it’s been such a long time he has felt loved, and most importantly it was by you. His Uber arrives and he turns one last time to look at your house, hoping this isn’t the last time he’ll see it.

You rush upstairs to your son's bedroom, while he’s laying in his bed with The Bunny on the Moon in his hands. “Why aren’t you sleeping Eunwoo it’s really late,” you sit beside him, touching his soft hair. “ Mommy, I did fall asleep but then I woke up as soon as I remembered that you forgot to read to me!” You laugh at his response and grab the book, “You want me to read this to you baby?,” he eagerly nods and you start reading. He falls asleep before the book ends and you kiss him softly goodnight on his chubby cheek.

God, tonight was eventful, you decide to take a shower to wash all the tear stains on your face. The hot water hits your body just right and now you can’t stop thinking of Jungkook. When was the last time you had been intimate with a man? Is that why you desperately wanted him to take you on the table. But with Jungkook it was always like that, always wanting him in every way. You start thinking about his hands touching you and his lips kissing you everywhere. Okay, that’s enough you aren’t going to touch yourself thinking about him. 

Now your laying in bed contemplating of texting him, your phone in your hand typing his number effortlessly but then you stop. He probably doesn’t have the same number, and what if he ignores your text like he did many years ago. You should just wait till he text you, you don’t want your feelings getting hurt again. That night you go to sleep with Jungkook on your mind.

Jungkook lays in bed thinking of you, should he text you tonight or tomorrow morning. He remembers when you would always fall asleep early when you guys were together. The next morning Jungkook wakes up extra early shooting you a text.

[Jungkook] Hope you had a good night's sleep! I was wondering if you wanted to hangout today or whenever.

[Jungkook] it’s jungkook by the way

You woke up to the sound of your phone pinging, who the hell wakes up this early. You look at your phone it’s 5:15 am, you look at the bright screen to see Jungkook has message you, now you’re wide awake.

[Y/N] I can't do today or Monday but I’m free Tuesday since I don’t have work

[Y/N] and jungkook don’t text me so early

[Jungkook] yeah that sounds good, I can’t wait to see you.

[Jungkook] sorryyy, I’ll let you get your sleep :p

It’s Tuesday morning and you feel anxious, so anxious you accidentally spill orange juice on Eunwoo’s pants. “Oh baby, I’m sorry, Mommy is all over the place,” you quickly grab a napkin cleaning his pants. You drop Eunwoo off at school, giving him multiple kisses goodbyes.

Jungkook sent you an address to where to meet at, you get out of your car and enter the restaurant looking around for him.

“Y/N over here! You look nice, where’s Eunwoo?,” he stands up from his seat and he goes for hug but stops himself.

“ Thank you, and he’s at school,” you grabbed him by the arm and hug him. His arms are stiffly by his sides but then he relaxes and puts his arms around your waist. You pull apart and sit right across from him. The waitress comes and you both order kimchi jjigae.

“ Y/N, so what have you been up to? Sorry for asking this question so late,” he tilts his head to the side.

“ It’s fine, but I have just been working for the SAC, as head architect, it’s a lot of hard work, but then again I only work three days a week,” you reply while twirling your straw in your drink.

“ Ohh wow... that’s amazing, you always wanted to work for that company. How long have you been working there?”

“ Mmm...let me think, Eunwoo is six...so for like seven years,” the waitress arrives with the food and places them right in front you. “ Be careful it's hot, make sure to blow on it,” you immediately warn as if he was Eunwoo. Jungkook thinks its cute that you said this to him, he likes it when you act on your mother instincts. He starts to think about Eunwoo and how it must've been hard to raise him by yourself, now that he thinks about it, he doesn’t know anything about Eunwoo’s father. He gets angry at the idea of someone abandoning you and Eunwoo.

“ Mmm, it taste so good. Is it too spicy for you Jungkook, you aren’t eating much. I can ask the waiter to give you a new one,” he looks pensive the whole time, your about to call the waiter but then he stops you.

“ Y/N, who is Eunwoo’s father?” The question takes you by surprise, you never liked talking about this to people because by the end of the conversation people start to sympathize with you. You place your spoon to the side, and look outside the window, it’s pretty outside the flowers are blooming and it’s sunny. You don’t want to look into Jungkook's eyes because you know for a fact you’ll start crying.

“ I always wanted a child, to feel a baby grow inside my stomach, to give birth, to breastfeed a baby until it’s content. I just always wanted to be a mother. I love Eunwoo with all my heart, when I carried him in my arms for the very first time, I felt this eternal love. I wanted to protect him from this unfair world, I wanted him to feel love, and I wanted him to always be happy. I felt like a mother–,” you turn your face away from the window and look at Jungkook, “ I adopted Eunwoo.” He looks lost for words, it looks like he wants to ask why. “ I could never have children, I’m infertile.” You look away from him and call the waitress for more rice. “ This is one of the best kimchi jjigae I ever had. How’d you find about this restaurant, Jungkook?” You try to switch the conversation praying that he doesn't ask anymore questions.

Jungkook feels horribly sick, he can taste the bile on his taste buds, his hands feel clammy too. He knows the answer of the question he is about to ask you but he wants to hear you say it.

“ Y/N, when did you find out you were infertile.”

You don’t want to answer that question, you avoid his eyes, and start putting rice in the kimchi jjigae and eating it.

“ Y/N,” he warns.

You stop eating and start staring at the soup, “ It doesn’t matter, it’s in the past.”

“ Just answer the question.”

It physically painful saying it out loud but you say it anyways quietly, “ The day we broke up.”

Ten years ago

You both are laying in bed, Jungkook playing on his phone and you just looking at the ceiling.

“ Baby, would you still be with me if stained all of your favorite white shirts?” You turn to your side face him, he puts his phone down and does the same.

“ Hmm... yes. I could always buy new white shirts but you’ll have to compensate me,” he jokes teasingly.

“ Would you still be with me if I killed someone?”

“ Yes, I’ll even help you hide the body. But you wouldn’t kill somebody, you wouldn’t even let me kill that spider in the kitchen,” he tucks some of the hair that has fallen behind your ear.

“ So you’ll be with me no matter what?” You smile brightly at him, bringing him closer to you.

“ Mmm, no matter what baby,” he says it onto your lips and goes on top of you.

“Fuck—ahh please don’t stop,” you mercilessly plead. He keeps fucking into you while you scratch his back He groans against your ear, his cock stretching you so well.

“ You like when you can feel me this deep? You want to feel this cock forever slut,” while he goes even harder. You can’t think of anything else, you want to answer a million times yes, but all you can do is moan.

He pulls out his cock and you cry, begging him to take you back inside. “ Shhh, you’ll get it. Turn around baby.” You whimper and turn around onto your stomach, face in the sheets, and he spreads your legs. He teasingly rubs his cock against your pussy, “ Mmm your such a slut begging to be fucked and filled. Do you want that?,” he asked you and you nod yes. “ No, I won’t give it to you until you answer me,” he slaps his cock against your pussy.

“ Please fuck me, I need you to feel me up!”

Then you feel him roughly shove his cock in and you feel so good, the pain and pleasure have you moaning uncontrollably.

Your hands grab the sheets tightly and your eyes are rolling back as he fucks you more deeply.

“ Jungkook, can I please come. I’ve been so good for you!” You need to feel your release, your pussy is throbbing, and you want to be overwhelmed with ecstasy.

“ You have been so good for me, you did let me fuck your throat like a dirty slut and it felt really good.” You nod as an agreement, your toes curling a little bit. “ Come for me baby.”

Then you feel yourself spasm with delight, moaning his name over and over again. Your panting loudly and Jungkook keeps thrusting,” I’m gonna fill you up with my come until you can never forget what it feels like,” he whispers in your ears.

You moan as he comes deep inside you, calling your name out like a prayer. You feel him everywhere and you smile at the feeling , you could bask in this feeling forever with him.

He tells you praises in your ear and lightly massages your hips. He pulls out and turns you around, placing one last soft kiss on your lips. He lays beside you, you can’t stop thinking of the answers he gave you before he fucked you. No matter what happens he’ll stay by your side, you smile to yourself.

“ Jungkook, I’m pregnant.” You finally say the thing that’s been on your mind all day. You finally turn to your side to look at him but he gets up quickly. The afterglow he had looked gone and he was blankly staring at you.

“Why are you pregnant?” He finally breaks the silence looking seriously at you.

“ Jungkook, we have unprotected sex sometimes. Things like this happen when you do that.”

“ Y/N, I can’t do this.” You were getting more nervous each time he replies.

“ What do you mean? What have a child with me? You’d say you’ll stay with me no matter what.” Your eyes were tearing up but you hold it in, maybe he’ll come to realization that he wants to have a baby with you.

“ Are you serious, those were hypothetical questions Y/N. I can’t do this, I can’t have a child right now, I’m an idol constantly traveling, I have a future.” Does he’s future not involve you? You try to think of something to make him stay and you know your going to hurt yourself on what your about to say next.

“ Jungkook, I’ll go to the clinic and get an abortion. And then we can pretend this never happened, okay? Then maybe in the future, when it’s just right, we can have a family. Just please stay with me,” your pleading to him, you’ll take the one thing away that you have always wanted to make him stay.

“ Y/N, the pregnancy test is not always 100% accurate, right? Maybe your not pregnant. Go to the hospital tomorrow morning and check. I can’t be here right now.” You watch him from the bed as he starts dressing, he looks at you one last time and leaves. That was the first time in forever he didn’t give you a goodbye kiss. You still feel his come dripping down and you start to sob.

You enter the doctors office, staring at the anatomical posters of pregnant women. You tell Dr. Soo that you took a pregnancy test yesterday and it came out positive and you missed your period. She does a couple test,

“ Y/N, you are not pregnant.” You are confused, you were late on your period. Dr. Soo places her hand against your arm gently. “ The results of the test come out as infertility. You have an irregular menstrual cycle, it’s part of the sign.” You feel hopeless everything around you feels dark, you can’t do the one thing that every woman can do. “  This isn’t uncommon, there are therapist sessions here at the hospital. I know this can be hard on a woman. Also, there alternatives having children, a mother isn’t someone who gives birth to her child, it’s someone who’ll raise their child with unconditional love.

You enter Jungkook’s apartment after visiting the hospital, he’s standing by the table while your sitting down on the chair,

“ So what happened?” You swallow to ease your dry throat and play with your fingers.

“ You were right it wasn’t 100% accurate, I’m not pregnant. I actually can’t–,” then your interrupted with Jungkook’s excited voice. “That’s amazing, one of the best news I ever receive! I wasn’t ready to end my future. Me with a child, ha no way,” he shakes his in disbelief and it hurts you the way he said ‘that’s amazing’.

“ Jungkook, does this mean we’re still together, that your staying with me?” You feel depressed but you give him a hopeful smile.

“ I actually wanted to talk about that with you, I think we both want very different things–no we do want very different things. I don’t see myself in the future married and having kids, not with you or anyone. And I know you always wanted that, you told me that the fourth year we were dating. I know you’ll be a loving mother and a perfect wife, I can just see it in you,” you started sobbing loudly and he wrapped his arms around you for the very last time.

Present

You bring your palm up and rest it under your chin, “ What are you thinking about Jungkook?” His eyes are red and watery, “ I’m thinking about you from ten years ago.” You hum and continue to eat, “ There’s nothing we can do about it now, it was ten years ago,” you finally say.

Jungkook wants to sell his soul off right now in return for making you feel no pain ever. He looks at you and wonders how are you still talking to him. How did you even let him touch you at Eunwoo’s party. “ I don’t care if it's in the past, I put you through so much pain. I was fucking ecstatic when you told me you weren’t pregnant. And then I broke up with you after you found out you were infertile, you went through this alone, I left you alone.” He looks at you and your just looking at him cry with sad eyes. “ I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry... you should’ve fucking kicked me out when I came to your house, spit at me, and curse at me,” he cries out.

“ You wanted me to do that at my son’s birthday party? That would’ve been a memorable birthday for him,” you joke trying to lighten the mood, but he doesn’t stop crying. You muttered a quick, ‘ I’ll be back,’ and pay for the bill at the counter.

“ Jungkook let’s get out of here, people are starting to wonder how I made a very pretty boy cry,” he hiccups a little laugh and you grab his hand taking him to the back seat of your car. He’s still crying and you know he’s trying to stop but it comes in little gasp, you’ve seen this with Eunwoo when he gets really hurt or when you scold him for doing something really bad. So you do the only thing that makes Eunwoo stop crying to Jungkook.

So you cradle his face in your hands, and wiping the tears streaming down with your thumbs. “Why is my baby crying, hmmm, who made my baby cry? You're too pretty to cry.” You kiss his forehead and bring one of your hands to caress his hair, “ Shhh, baby don’t cry, it makes me sad when I see you cry.” You kiss both of his cheeks this time, “Baby do you want me to be sad?,” and he shakes his head. “Then can you calm down for me baby, can you be good for me?,” he still crying a little so you lay him against your breast and he’s nuzzling into it, you can feel his wet face seep into your shirt. You wrap your arms around his back rocking him gently. He stops crying after ten minutes of coaxing but it is still in this position, you check the time on your phone.

“Hey Jungkook,” you whisper to him and he nuzzles more into your breast. “ I need to pick up Eunwoo,” he gets up from you and you take a good look of his puffy face, he looks like a small boy. You push some of the strands of his hair that were sticking up downwards, “Did you take your car here, Jungkook? If not I can take you home but it’s gonna be after we pick up Eunwoo.” He finally speaks but it comes out hoarse, “ Mmm please, I walked over here. I don’t want to be walking home looking like this.” You laugh a little and move to the front seats.

The radio is on but it’s low enough so you guys can talk. Jungkook keeps muttering how ugly he looks while staring at his phone camera. “ There’s wet wipes in my glove compartment, wipe your face. There’s stain tears on your face.” He follows your instructions, and is now looking at you drive.   “ Y/N, I want to say sorry.”

“ It’s fine, Eunwoo used to cry on me a lot so I’m used to having snot and tears on my shirt,” you smile thinking about how your baby boy was so needy.

“ No, that’s not what I mean, I’m sorry for what I did to you on the day we broke up,” he chews his lip while still looking at you.

You want to look at him but you are driving, “ I’ll admit it was painful that day, it hurts when the man you love doesn't want a future with you. Everything reminded me of you, and I didn't know if I loved it or hated it. I remember feeling so hopeless, everything around me felt so colorless, but it doesn’t feel like that anymore. Once, I heard you singing on the radio it made me move on, that you and I do want different things. Then I had Eunwoo, none of the past mattered to me, what mattered was the future with him,” you park your car right in front of Eunwoo’s school. You turn to look at Jungkook, who’s just staring at you, and you give him a kiss on the cheek, “ I’ll be back,” as you leave the car.

Jungkook watches you leave and enter the school building. He’s mind is filled with thoughts, he admires the way you effortlessly speak your mind and how they are filled with acceptance and comfort. But does he still want different things from you? When he first saw you that day at the park, he thought that fate gave him a second chance and when he saw Eunwoo smiling at the presents he gave him, Jungkook knew he wanted to see that smile everyday. He wants to be in yours and Eunwoo’s future, but he is not so sure if you’ll accept him, afterall he did say he didn’t want a future with you in the past. His thoughts are interrupted when he sees you carrying Eunwoo and peppering kisses all over his face as your walking towards the car. Eunwoo’s giggling uncontrollably, Jungkook feels happy looking at the scene, he laughs knowing that Eunwoo will be a Momma’s boy.

You open the car door for Eunwoo, he gets in and lets out a surprised gasp, “ Mr. Jungkook! What are you doing here, wheres Tree!” He looks around excitedly to see if the Shiba Inu will jump out and surprise him. You start the car and drive, “ I’m sorry its just me, Tree is at home. Your Mom and I went to eat lunch.” Jungkook gives Eunwoo a sheepish smile, “ Aww when can I see Tree again?,” as he starts pouting. “ Whenever you want, I know Tree misses you too.” You think its cute seeing them talk together,  “What did you and Mommy eat?”

“ Kimchi jjigae.”

“ No fair! That’s my favorite, why couldn’t you and Mommy wait for me?,” he’s whining and pouting. Jungkook laughs and promises he’ll take him next time, and that he’ll even bring Tree too.

You drop Jungkook at his apartment and tell him that you’ll see him soon. On the way back to your house Eunwoo won’t stop asking questions about Jungkook to you, like what’s his favorite color, or his favorite food. You know all the answers to his questions so you answer him honestly. You enter your house and tell Eunwoo to wash up as you make dinner.

Eunwoo is eating contently, humming while eating, and you clean around the kitchen.

“ Eunwoo, do you like Jungkook?,” you ask clearly.

Eunwoo happily nods, “ Yes Mommy he is very nice and he looks like a bunny.”

You laugh loudly, “ A bunny? What makes him look like a bunny?”.

“ It’s because he has long fluffy hair, and when he smiles he looks like one!”

You start seeing Jungkook more often, he takes you out for lunch on the days your off of work. It’s never awkward or silent when you guys hangout, your always making him laugh and vice versa. He asks if you and Eunwoo can have dinner with him, and he talks with Eunwoo the whole time while you fondly stare at him.

You don’t know what the label of the relationship is, sometimes he’ll hold your hands or rest his hand on your thigh, and sometimes you’ll kiss him on his cheeks or hug him from behind. Jungkook gets closer to your son too, on Saturday mornings he’ll take Tree and Eunwoo to the park, while you sleep in. It goes like this for eight months and you enjoy it.

One day you were cooking dinner for Eunwoo and Jungkook, Eunwoo was in the backyard playing with Tree, while Jungkook was helping you cook.

“ Y/N, I want a future with you, I want to be in Eunwoo’s future too,” he confesses to you. You stop cutting the vegetables and look at him, he’s giving you the most loving look, “ I want that too,” you confess before placing a kiss on his lips.

Jungkook spends the night in your house, just holding each other and placing soft kisses. The next morning you get out of Jungkook’s arms and make Eunwoo breakfast, and take him to school. You go to clean up the mess you made and wash the dishes. Then you feel him hug you from the back, burying his face in your neck. “ Why didn’t you wake me up to help you?” You shake your head no, “It’s okay, I’m finished,”  you turn of the faucet and leaned back against his chest. Time slows when your in his arms, you feel relaxed. You feel his hands go under your shirt, lightly touching your stomach, he starts kissing your neck, lightly sucking here and there. His hands go high up to your breast, touching lightly under the swell of it and then brings it back down to your stomach.

Your getting antsy, you want him to touch you more, so you grab both of his hands and place them on your breast. You hear him groan into your neck, he rubs your breast and then pinching your nipples. “ Jungkook—,” you moan while your hands go behind you and grab his nape. He gets the message and kisses you from the side messily, continues to touch your breast. “ Mmm, baby I’m so wet,” you breath the words into his mouth. “Fuck, your so beautiful,” he replies and turns you around to face him. “ Y/N can I take off your pants?,” fingers tapping the button of the jeans. “ Yes please.” He unbuttons it and pulls your jeans down. You step out of them and you take off your shirt, now your just only in your panties. Jungkook gets a good look at you and crashes his lips on you, the kiss is filthy but you love it. He lifts you up, still kissing you, and carries you to the bedroom.

He lays you gently on the bed, leaving open kisses on your breasts moving downwards to your stomach, he leaves one last kiss above your panties, and then pulls down you panties. “ You are so wet, and it’s all for me” he traces his finger against your pussy. “ Ahh—just fucking fuck me. I need you right now,” you sit up and pull his shirt off, and he takes off his sweatpants and boxers.

You lay back as he hovers you, you grab his hard cock pumping it up and down in your hands. He starts groaning in your ear, “ Jungkook, do you have a condom?” He springs up from your neck and looks surprised, “ No...I don’t have one on me but I’m clean I haven’t had sex with anyone since that day in the park.” You don’t want him to fuck you raw because that means he won’t pull out since he’ll get lost in the feeling. You shake your head, “ I don’t know…can you not come in me?” Jungkook smiles and nods eagerly, “ Trust me, I’ll pull out right before I come.” He puts his cock inside you, and moans your name loudly. You feel him stretching you and it feels painful, it's been many years since you had sex with a man. “ Tell me when to start moving baby,” he places soft kisses against your face to ease the pain. You tell him to start moving and it starts to feel more pleasurable for you. He’s hitting it just right, and your hands start holding tight around his arms, “ Fucking hell babe, your so tight. It feel so good.” He kisses you and you try your best to return the kiss but you can’t stop moaning with pleasure. “ Jungkook, I’ll always be tight for you, only for you,” and he fucking loses it when you say this to him, he starts thrusting faster and deeper.  One of his hands goes to your pussy rubbing your clit, and you can’t hold it any more. “ Come for me Y/N, be a good girl and come.” Everything goes white and you moan his name loudly, hands grabbing any part of him, pulling him closer to you. “God… your so fucking hot when you come. Did it feel good for you baby?” You feel delirious and nod your head, “ Baby, don’t forget to pull out.” He moans an okay, and keeps thrusting into you deeply, you can tell he is about to come, his abs are contracting and is pounding harder, you call his name multiple times, you try to warn him but it all sounds like moans to him. His eyes are closed and he looks lost at the feeling. “ Y/N, I love you. I love you so much,” he says as he comes right inside you.

He lays on top of your body breathing deeply into your neck, you can’t stop thinking of the come that’s inside you, your disgusted of the feeling of it. You don’t say anything, you push him off of you, you can feel the come drip out of you as you walk into the shower. You try to wash it out but you can still fill it, and then you start crying. You start to get that vivid memory, of Jungkook leaving you with come inside of you.

“ Fuck, I’m so stupid,” Jungkook shouldn’t have fucked you bare, he should’ve just ate you out when you were hesitant of having sex without a condom. He didn’t think you would push him off though, he remembered when you guys were younger, you would let him come inside you many times, saying how you love the feeling. He gets up from the bed and walks to the bathroom.

You hear Jungkook’s footsteps and you stop crying, hoping he didn’t hear you. He enters the bathroom standing behind the shower glass, he lightly taps it, “ Y/N, I’m sorry. I told you to trust me but I ended up doing the opposite. It hurts me to see you unhappy, and it hurts even more when I’m the cause of it,” You can’t see him clearly because of the steam and the water droplets from the shower, but you tap your finger lightly against the glass. “ Tap twice if you want me to stay here with you, Tap once if want me to leave you in peace,” you don’t want him to leave alone you need to hear his voice, so you tap twice. “ Can you tell me what’s going on in your pretty brain? You can yell at me, I deserve it,” he leans his forehead against the glass.

“ You left me forever the last time you came in me, I don't like- the semen, it makes me feel awful. My therapist told me the reason I breakdown and feel that way, is because of that traumatic experience. It’s not just with you, I hooked up with a guy a couple years ago and he came in me, I just started sobbing-,” you let out a small laugh, “...um and he freaked out and bought me so much ice cream to calm me down.” It’s quiet for a few seconds, except for the sound of the shower. “ Y/N can I come in the shower?” You slide open the shower glass for him, letting out a small yes. He enters the shower, “ Can I hold you?” You nod your head yes and he wraps his arms around you. It feels more intimate since you are both naked, “ Y/N, I’ll castrate myself for you, I don’t need to have sex, I can just hold you like this forever. Being with you is more than enough for me.” You laugh against him, “ Please don’t do that and I don’t want you to stop having sex with me.” He brushes your wet hair out of your face and stares into your eyes, “ Baby, I know how you like the phrase ‘the past is in the past’, but I want to know more about what you’ve been through while I was gone, I want to know how your feeling. I want to be better for us.”  You kiss him gently on the lips as a small okay, and he gets out of the shower, and wrapped a towel around you.

After watching a couple movies while cuddling, you guys had to pick up Eunwoo from school. You park your car, kiss Jungkook on the cheek and was about to leave but then he stops you. “ I’ll get Eunwoo,” he kisses your cheek and walks towards the school. This is the first time he’s ever done this, and it tugs your heart a little. You hear a bark from the backseat, “ Shhh, Tree your suppose to be quiet to surprise Eunwoo,” you pat his head a little. You look towards the front and see Jungkook carrying Eunwoo giving multiple kisses on his chubby cheeks. Your baby is happily giggling with each kiss and Jungkook is staring lovingly at him.

This is your future, Eunwoo and Jungkook. ( and Tree)

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Do not repost, translate, or alternate my work in any way, onto any platform. I do not take plagiarism lightly.

Dream Boat

Pairing: Jaehyun X Reader

Genre: College!au, Angst, Fluff

Warnings: Smut, Smoking, Drinking

Word Count: 2,117

Song Rec: Valentine’s Curse//Banes World

You laid on a small patch of grass in the front yard of nct’s frat house. You hated parties but your bestfriend Yuta insisted you’d come to this one (even though he left you alone the second you walked in the door.) After being inside the house that was filled with the smell of weed and alcohol for to long you decided that laying here was your best bet. “Why are you out here?” Someone asked causing you to sit up quicker than you should’ve. He let out a laugh before speaking again. “Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you! You are Yuta’s friend yeah?” You nodded as you pulled a leaf out of you hair, regretting ever laying down In the grass. “I’m Jaehyun” he said, putting a cigarette in his mouth. “I know Yuta talks about you a lot” you finally spoke. He smiled and walked over to you. He sat down beside you and lit his cigarette. You looked over at him and noticed how beautiful he looked in the dim lighting. Either you were second hand high or you really had never noticed how beautiful Jaehyun is. “Anyway why are you out here?” You shrugged at his question. “Too loud in there I guess...i don’t know? Parties aren’t my thing Yuta dragged me here and just kinda left” You said with a hint of annoyance. “Well if you ever need someone to hang out with I’m here, maybe we can hang out sometimes you know?” He suggested. Yuta always spoke so highly of Jaehyun, he was a top student, he wasn’t like the rest of the guys who’d sleep around, but most of all Yuta explained how he didn’t even pay attention to girls so what was he doing asking you to hang out? “Sure” you replied with a smile. “Well how about now?” He said standing up and putting out his hand to help you get up. You took his hand and laughed “what are we suppose to do right now it’s almost 3 in the morning” “We will figure it out y/n” he said giving you another smile before grabbing your wrist to lead you inside the house. (The Next Day) “You did what?!” Yuta asked a little to loudly as you guys sat at a small cafe. You instantly put your hand over his mouth. “Shut Up” you whisper yelled. You had just told Yuta that yours and Jaehyuns “innocent” hanging out time somehow turned into Jaehyuns head buried between your thighs. “You didn’t even have sex?” He asked when you removed your hand from his mouth. You shook your head trying not to look him in the eyes. Yuta sighed “y/n don’t do what I think you’re gonna do” you looked at him confused but knew exactly what he was talking about. Whenever you felt yourself growing close to someone or liking someone you pushed them away because you were to scared to be hurt but also to scared to be alone. “He texted me last night” you spoke ignoring his previous statement. “You should hang out with him again. He’s a good guy!” And you believed Yuta but for some reason you still felt scared. (2 nights later) It was movie night at the frat house and instead of Yuta making you come Jaehyun had asked you too. The living room was filled with people and you sat on a couch with Jaehyun. “Are you cold?” He asked but before you could answer he pulled the blanket over the two of you. “Thanks” you spoke shyly and he nodded with a smile. Yuta smiled at the two of you as he sat with Taeyong and Mark on the floor. The lights turned off and the movie started, you felt Jaehyun rest his head on your shoulder and his hand on your thigh. “Is this okay?” He spoked quietly and all you could do was nod trying to hide the fact that you were nervous. You had talked to him for the past two nights and it was obvious that you had a crush on him by now. You don’t know how it happened but somewhere in between him eating you out like there was no tomorrow and hearing him talk to you on the phone about the things he loved, made you like him. Your train of thought was stopped by him moving his head from your shoulder and moving his hand closer to where you needed him most. He moved your shorts to the side before slipping a finger into your heat. You put your head on his shoulder and hid you face in the crook of his neck as he moved his finger in and out of you under the blanket. “If you want me to stop say the word and I will, beautiful” he turned to whisper to you and you shook your head, he chucked and kissed the top of you head before moving his hand faster. He turned his head to the movie as he brought his thumb to your clit. You tried your hardest not to make any noise as you felt yourself get closer to your high, and before you knew it you were cumming around his fingers. You let out a muffled moan into his neck “shhh baby” he whispered before slowly removing his fingers from you. “You did so well for me” he brought his hand to his mouth and licked his fingers clean. You moved your head and saw him smiling at you causing you to do the same. (2 months later) “But why not” Jaehyun asked as he laid on your small bed that was placed in your dorm room. “I don’t know I just never liked it” You said as you continued to brush your hair. “Well no girlfriend of mine is not gonna like pineapple on pizza” you felt your heart drop at the word he used. He never asked you to be his girlfriend but you liked how it sounded when he said it, even though this was the first time. “I’m ordering pizza now with extra pineapple” he grabbed his phone and dialed the number for the pizza place. You sat down on the bed next to him and watched him, it’s crazy to think that someone could look so beautiful while doing absolutely nothing. “It’ll be here soon” he turned to look at you and laughed as he noticed you staring. “Is there something on my face” he asked and you didn’t answer you just leaned in and kissed him. “I like you so much” you said pulling away. “I like you too y/n” he dragged his thumb across your cheek. You felt content but you knew that this was a bad sign, cause now he knew you liked him. You prayed silently that you wouldn’t start to push him away but most importantly that he wouldn’t leave. (1 week later) Maybe not all prayers get answered cause for some reason after that day you felt yourself distancing yourself from Jaehyun. You stopped calling him, you stopped texting back as much and you tried to avoid being around him. Cause for some reason telling him you liked him made you feel like he would use it to his advantage even though deep inside you knew that wasn’t true. “Call him” Yuta said as if he read your thoughts. You stood quiet as you sat down on the chair in yutas room. “Fine don’t answer but don’t you think it’s childish to avoid him like this? I mean you’re only here right now cause he’s not. Y/N he likes you so much why don’t you get that” You still didn’t talk instead you stood up. “I’m going to the bathroom” you said walking out of the room. You thought about how much you liked Jaehyun and you asked yourself why you were doing this. You brushed the thoughts aside as you opened the bathroom door but to your surprise you were met with Jaehyun brushing his teeth. He looked at you with hopeful eyes but all you could do was try to shut the door. “Please talk to me” he said grabbing the door to stop it from closing. “Nothing to talk about” you said trying to shut it again. “Bullshit y/n!” He never raised his voice. “Why are you acting like this? Why are you acting like I don’t exist.” He sounded hurt and you hated it but you couldn’t let your guard down. “Because...I don’t want you to hurt me okay? I don’t want you to leave. I’m scared cause I like you.” He looked at you speak words that broke his heart. “Y/n I wouldn’t do that to yo-“ “don’t say that okay? You can’t promise those things” was all you said. “I can’t do this anymore Jaehyun I’m sorry” you wiped the tears falling from your eyes before running out the door. (3 days later) Your room was dark as you laid on the bed with the same frank ocean album you’ve had on repeat for days now. You felt tired and heartbroken. You wish liking Jaehyun wasn’t so hard for you, but maybe it was deeper than that, maybe you loved him. You jumped at the sound of someone knocking on the door. You mumbled a come in before Yuta walked in with a disappointed look. “Get up” he said pulling the cover off of you. “Come on you’re going to a party” you didn’t reply you just brought the blanket back to your face. “Go away” he was quick to pull the blanket off again. “You have 10 minutes hurry up” you weren’t in the mood to argue anymore so you groaned and got up. You got ready, not bothering to impress anyone. You put on a hoodie and some shorts before walking out the door with yuta. “No make up?” He asked and you felt self conscious. “Do I look that bad” you asked weakly, he put his arm over your shoulder and shook his head. “No you’re beautiful as always” you gave him a small smile and continued to walk to the house. (Later That night) It had been 2 hours since the party started and surprisingly no sign of Jaehyun. Not that you cared or anything but still. You grabbed another beer before walking outside to the front yard. Even though this party wasn’t as lame as the other ones you still wanted time alone. You walked to your spot on the grass and laid back, you looked at the stars and thought about how they weren’t as bright as the twinkle in Jaehyuns eyes when he smiled. You felt tears form in your eyes at the thought of him, you let a good thing go and now you had to live with it. “Why are you out here” you heard a familiar voice say. You sat up wiping your eyes. This time around Jaehyun didn’t hesitate to sit next to you. “Hey” you mumbled as he sat down. “Hi” he replied. It was quiet cause both of you were to scared to speak. “I’m sorry” you finally said. “I know” you looked at him and rolled your eyes as he let out a slight chuckle. “Listen okay, I’m not gonna hurt you. I’m not gonna leave because y/n I love you. I know it’s hard to believe, but I’ve loved you since Yuta brought you here the first time and it took all the courage for me to talk to you that night. I just-“ he stopped himself and looked you in your eyes. “I just love you” and this time you felt your heart beat and flowers bloom in your stomach. He looked at you concerned noticing the tears on your face. He was quick to pull you closer and wipe your eyes. “I love you too” you said looking at him, trying to sound as sincere as possible cause you meant it with your whole soul. He smiled and kissed you “now don’t leave me again! I was so sad I cried to yuta every night” you laughed at his words as he stood up. “So wanna hang out” he asked letting his hand out to you. “You are so corny” you laughed before taking his hand. “But yes, what are we suppose to do right now?” You played along and he smirked. “I can eat you out in my room” you hit his arm playfully. He laughed and pulled you into his arms. “I love you y/n” you smiled into his chest. “I love you Jaehyun” you replied, now knowing that if you had Jaehyun you’d never be hurt or alone.

Off Limits (m) part 4

Professor!Reader x College Student!Jungkook au

Genre: short series|smut|mostly angst|fluff in future|au

Word count: 3.7k

Warnings: Language and mature content. I guess I should also warn that I love writing stories with no happy endings.

Summary: You’re fresh out of college having just received your masters degree in Math. You begin working at a nearby college and meet your headstrong student, Jungkook. After a drunk hookup; things get complicated.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

‘Are you still not talking to me?’

‘Please don’t ignore me.’

‘Kookie.’

‘Are you going to report me?’

You throw your head down on the kitchen table in frustration, tossing the phone onto

your tiled floor and groaning like a child who was told they couldn’t have chocolate. Why was Jungkook still ignoring you?

You had canceled the rest of last week’s classes, claiming to feel ill when in reality... You couldn’t face Jungkook, not after that day at least.

“What’s wrong? Is your illegal relationship finally catching up to you?” You lift your head to give Gia a cut-eye look. Not this again... Not now.

“It’s not illegal. It’s just...” You trail off, your frown deepening as you take in Gia’s empty facial expression.

She stays quiet for a moment- you can tell she’s thinking of something.

“Look Gia-“ you begin,

“I think you should move out.” She cuts you off, her eyes casting downwards as they begin to water.

“W-What? You want me... to leave?”

“I tried to accept this y/n, I really tried. But every time I think about you two, I think of our freshman year of high school and I-“

“Gia...” you gasp, tears falling from your eyes as you dwell about the comparison she made.

“I am nothing like him!” Your voice booms through the house, the defensiveness in your tone is threatening, but Gia doesn’t budge.

“Really? Because it’s the exact situation.” She snaps back, veins bulging from her neck with her hands held in tight fists by her side.

“You were 14! Jungkook is-“

“YOUR STUDENT!” She explodes. You both stand there in silence, your tense shoulders finally relaxing as you realize this was not something you think could ever be fixed.

“I think I should go.” You whisper, your eyes unable to meet hers as you grab your work bag. You continue,

“I’ll pick up my things after my classes finish, is that okay?” She simply nods her head, turning away to leave the kitchen as she closes the door to her bedroom.

By the time you arrive on campus your makeup is ruined from the tears you were finally able to let out once you were out of the apartment- Gia’s apartment, the place that you called home for years. You pull out your makeup bag and begin doing your best to fix the mess that stares back at you in your reflection. Suddenly a loud knock at your window makes you jump.

“Jesus, Jungkook! You scared me!” You grunt, rubbing the area on your head that you hit on the roof of your car.

“All of those messages and you couldn’t even bother to tell me that you miss me?” He mumbles under his breath. His eyes staring deeply into yours, a look of admiration with a dash of anger.

“I’m sorry.”

“No you aren’t. You’re just worried that I’ll tell.” He rolls his eyes.

“Jungkook, I really don’t need this right now, okay?” His eyes soften when he hears the tremble in your voice. His hand slide their way into your opened window as he tilts your head upwards to get a closer look at you.

“Why were you crying?” He asks, wearing a small pout.

“I’m just stressed out.” You let out a sniffle, trying so hard to hold in tears; but when Jungkook softly rubs your cheek, you lean into his touch and let the tears flow freely. He slowly walks to the other side of your car and you feel it dip with his weight as he sits in the seat next to you.

“Come here.” He coos, pulling you into his arms as he places a hand on your back and the other on the back of your head, embracing you in a tight hug.

“Gia kicked me out.” You whined, wishing Jungkook didn’t have to see you ugly cry like this. You hear him sigh, but he says nothing, so you continue,

“She kicked me out and she thinks I’m some sort of pedophile. She’s comparing me to a man she dated in high school. He took advantage of her! I- I-“

“Shhh. It’s okay, baby.” Your breathing seemed to ease once you heard the nickname he loved calling you.

“So you’re not mad at me about what I said last week?”

“Well.. I’m hurt but I’m not angry. I’m sorry I expected so much this early on. Hey, um... You can stay with me for a bit? If you want?” He suggested.

You simply glared at him in return, “Yeah that would be great! ‘Hi Mr. Jeon! Thank you for letting me stay here, I am also fucking your son.’ Does that seem like a good idea to you?” You snap.

“I live alone, asshole.” He snarled while flashing a small smile.

“Oh. I didn’t know.” To say you felt like an ass was an understatement.

He smirks,“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” Leaning in to kiss you, but you push at his chest.

“We’re on campus, Kookie.” You scold, grabbing your work bag from the back seat before getting out of your car with Jungkook following.

“Will you take me up on my offer?” He pushes further,

“I don’t know. I really have a lot to think about. I’ll see you at noon? In class?” You question.

“Sure, babe.” He replies smoothly, turning his back to you, and leaving you stranded with your dreadful thoughts.

Your classes surprisingly went by fairly quickly today, you quietly sat and ate your fruit salad while you waited for the last class of the day to start- your favorite class with your favorite student.

“Good morning, Professor. Hope your feeling better.” Jimin is the first to walk in, throwing you a wink after his comment. You bite back a comeback and give him a forced smile.

“I am, thanks.” You simply tell him.

“Where is Jungkook?” He asks again, and your eyes bulge out at him.

“How would I know? Actually, don’t answer that.”

He gives you a weird look but he stays quiet nonetheless, once he sees the other students begin flood in.

“Okay, everyone. It’s been a while! I’m feeling great, let’s get to work.” You smile.

As the class begins their assignment quietly, you hear Jungkook ask,

“Professor, can you help me with this problem please?” You roll your eyes and walk over to the side of his desk, only to see that he is already finished with the assignment.

“What do you need help with, Jungkook?”

“Number two, can you just look over it please?” You give him an odd look, but you lean in further and begin explaining the method anyway. A few seconds later you feel his hand slide to the back of your leg and then between your thighs. You swat his hand away and he simply lets out a deep chuckle,

“Thanks professor.” He yells to you as you march your way back to the front of the class.

“Okay, guys! Leave your assignment on my desk before you leave, I’ll post the homework online tonight!” You smile as they all begin leaving.

“Finally.” You let out a deep breath.

“Let’s go.” You hear a voice demand, your eyes snap open and you look up to Jungkook who is leaning over your chair.

“Go where, Jungkook?”

“What happened to Kookie?” He laughs.

“Go where?” You ask again, getting annoyed at his repetitive questions.

“Let’s go pick up your stuff from Gia’s.” He tugs on your hand and pulls you up from your chair.

“Oh. I forgot about that.” You try to let out a chuckle, but he could tell you were hurt.

“It’s okay. You’re okay, y/n. You don’t have to do this by yourself.” He whispers with a soothing voice that makes you feel a little bit better about the situation.

When you arrive, you see that Gia’s car is gone.

“Thank goodness, she should be at work by now.” You sighed.

You unlock the door to the apartment and see that your things are already packed. You feel your blood instantly boil.

“Is she fucking serious? She went through my room and packed all of my stuff herself?” You lash out. Jungkook looks as though he wants to say something but for once- he has nothing to say, he’s not sure what he could say in a situation like this; especially since he is in the middle of you and Gia’s falling out.

“I’m sorry.” He offers, you look at him and your eyes soften; you realize how awkward he must be feeling.

“Don’t be. Come on, let’s grab these boxes and go.”

You grab the last box from the counter and your eyes scan a note on the counter that read your name. You open it and see that it’s from Gia, you expected to see a goodbye, or an I love you, at least; but it read ‘please leave the keys on the table’. Jungkook takes the note from your hand and crumbles it, moving behind you to give you a hug,

“Let’s go home.” He whispers, leaving a small kiss on your neck.

When you arrive to Jungkook’s place; you’re shocked. He lives in a luxurious building with a doorman, with people that go to your apartment to clean your home, and there’s even a pool and a gym inside.

You wonder what he thought of when he went to your place- your old place, with the broken front door and old chipped paint in the hallway, no doorman either, but maybe a homeless man that would sleep on the porch from time to time.

“This is a lot.” You tell him shyly,

“In a good way?” He questions with a confused look.

“Oh yeah, it’s just, I’m not used to this fancy way of living.”

“Well, get used to it. I hope you’ll stay here with me for a while.” He gushed, opening the door to his apartment and showing you around. You followed like a lost puppy, consumed by the beauty of his place. You didn’t bother asking how he could afford it- especially knowing who is dad is.

“Hey, look.” He pulls you towards the bedroom,

“I made room in the closet, drawers and the bathroom for your stuff. I mean, it might be better if you unpack, right? If you want to, you don’t have to! I just figured-“ he’s rambling, you cut him off with a kiss.

“Thank you, Jungkook. But I really don’t want to intrude; and I don’t want to move too fast either. This won’t be permanent.” You admit. His shoulders drop a bit, but he nods his head anyway. You speak up again,

“I’m going to go in the shower, I’ll be out in a minute okay? Maybe I can cook something if you’re hungry?” You ask as you make your way to the bathroom.

Once you turn on the hot water- you get into the shower and slide down the marbled tiles until you’re on the floor, just sitting while the water washes over you. You can’t seem to stop all the racing thoughts that filled your head, so much has happened in such a short time. You weren’t used to change- you hated change! What were you doing? You’re naked in the bathroom of a man you’ll be teaching tomorrow afternoon.

You weren’t sure when your sobs became loud, or when your rigid breathing triggered a full blown panic attack. You couldn’t scream for help if you wanted to, it was as if your body wouldn’t allow it. But you didn’t need to; within seconds Jungkook climbed into the shower behind you, he was fully clothed but he didn’t care.

“I’m sorry.” You gasp, still panting and crying.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. Come here.” He pulled you close to him, turning off the shower and throwing your towel over you while the two of you just lied there. He rubbed your back until the sobs finally stopped. There was so much you were confused about- but choosing to give Jungkook a chance was not one of them.

“You’re too good for me, Kookie.” You mumble.

“What? Nonsense. You’re perfect.”

“I have baggage. Too much of it. You deserve to be with someone younger and-“

“You’re 26, y/n.” He laughed, “Stop being dramatic.”

“But I feel 45!” You snapped back, the two of you filling the room with loud giggles as you toss around playful insults to one another.

“Okay, babe. You finish up here and I’ll order takeout.” He says, leaving a kiss on your damp forehead and jumping out of the shower as he groans about his wet clothes.

You leave the bathroom 15 minutes later feeling better than you felt the entire day.

“Are you okay?” You ask, Jungkook. Running your hands through his hair as he whines about his photography class.

“I’m not okay, actually.” He cries out dramatically before going on a rant, “I’m supposed to be capturing photos of things that I find meaningful, I’ve tried trees, flowers, places in my house- like aesthetics, you know? And I can’t get anything good. It’s a huge grade and not to sound cocky- but I’m a big deal in that class and I want to keep that standard.” He finally finishes, it takes you a few seconds to reply- you just stare at him adoringly. It was so refreshing that he was still that same know it all college kid that loved doing well.

“Well? What do you say?” You hear Jungkook

Speak up.

You smile at him, “What?”

“You’re meaningful to me.. Can I use you? No face, I promise.”

Your eyes widen a bit, “I don’t think so-“ You cut yourself off when you see his puppy face.

“Fine!” You belt. Taking off your robe to change into actual clothes.

“No! I mean, leave the robe on please. I have an idea.” He pleads.

You eye him for a moment, but you can’t seem to tell him no. He walks in front you, moving you to the bed to get you into position.

His fingers cup your cheek as he stares at you for a moment- he always does this, it made you feel loved, adored even. Something you haven’t felt in a while.

“Okay, do whatever feels comfortable.” He finally whispers. He moves around the bed, grabbing his camera and pointing it in your direction.

You slide off the robe and let it slip past your back, tilting your head slightly to ask,

“Is this okay?” You wonder, your back still facing him while he snaps photos.

“It’s perfect, baby.”

There was something so pure about this moment. It wasn’t sexy- it was art. The way he constantly positioned our body, turned your head in the direction he wanted it in, and how he praised you throughout the shoot, knowing how shy you must have felt.

You hear him place his camera on the desk as he crawls onto the bed behind you.

“You were great.” You just smile and lean your back into his chest. He slowly grabs your robe, pulling it off of your body so your bare.

He speaks up once more, “I adore you, you know that?” You nod your head and suck in a deep breath as he leaves kisses on your neck and shoulder. His hands travel to your breast as he rubs them, pinching your nipples as he gently nibbles on your ear. Suddenly he’s lifting you to the other side of the bed, resting you right on top of him so you’re sitting directly on his growing bulge. He throws your legs over his and spreads them, it’s not until then that you notice you’re in front of a mirror.

“Jungkook-“

“Shh.” One hand holding you down by your stomach and the other slowly rubbing your thighs as he begins grinding up against you.

“Jungkook.” You repeat, but it comes out as a gasp. He rests his head over your shoulder and looks into the mirror, holding your eye contact as he brings his fingers to your wet folds, sliding them up and down as you shake and squirm.

“Look at you. You are so sexy.” He moans, placing two fingers on your clit; rubbing it slowly, savoring the moment while he leaves love bites anywhere his mouth could reach. His moans get louder each time you grind against him.

“What do you want?”

“Finger me.” You tell him bluntly, his eyebrows lift up for a second,

“Will do.” He purred, slipping three fingers into you and pumping them in and out slowly.

Growing frustrated you groan, “Faster, Kookie.”

“Not until I see you see you rub your clit for me.” He watches your reflection as you reach down and begin touching yourself.

When he doesn’t move faster you beg, “Ugh. Faster, Kookie.” He nods and roughly shoves his fingers in and out of you and you continue to grind on him until he can’t take it anymore,

“Fuck it.” He pants, lifting you up to unbuckle his jeans and tugging them to his ankle, allowing you to finish pulling them off all the way. He settles you back on him so that his cock is rubbing against your pussy. You place your hand over his throbbing tip to put more friction on your clit, skillfully rubbing yourself onto him.

“Does that feel okay?” You ask him, he moans even louder and that was a sign of approval to you.

He moves until he’s lined up with your entrance- he doesn’t slide in just yet, he just continues circling the area.

“May I?”

“You may.” And with that he slams into you, you inhale a deep breath and start moving with him, turning your head towards his to kiss him.

“So good, baby. Keep riding my cock.” He continues to praise you. This goes on for a while and you can feel your legs begin to give you. He swiftly flips the two of you so that you’re down on all four with an arched back as he slides back into your heat. His hands stay on your hips, moving to your back from time to time to push it back down each time you tried to lift it.

“F-fuck.” You moan loudly, moving away when the pleasure became too much, but he pulled you back each time.

“Don’t run. Take it.” He demands, grabbing a fist full of your hair and going impossibly faster.

“I’m gonna cum. I-fuck, I’m cumming.” You yelp loudly and it’s the only sound in the room aside from your heavy breathing and the loud clapping from Jungkook fucking you.

He wraps his arms around you, placing the upper half of his body on your back while he continues to hump you, and you can tell that he’s cumming too.

“Oh my God.” You chuckle, still winded as you and Jungkook lie back on the bed after cleaning each other up.

It’s quiet for a while; the two of you just enjoying each other’s company before he conversed,

“You know, I think I- actually, never mind.”

“No, no, no. You already started, now you have to finish!” You hissed.

He let out a laugh and pulled you so that you were lying on his chest,

“Fine. I was going to say that you, um, you make me really happy. And I know that you probably don’t feel as strongly for me as I do for you but I feel like I could picture us getting serious.”

You think for a moment about how exactly you should respond, “I feel the same way, Kookie; and that’s what scares me.” You feel him stiffen a bit at your confession,

“Scare you how?”

“Scare me as in I don’t want to lose everything I’ve worked so hard for.”

“How about we skip the ‘I won’t risk anything for you’ talk, okay?” He cautioned.

“Jungkook, be quiet. What I meant to say, was that I really like you- and I know it won’t end well. What happened with Gia was a warning.” Before he can reply, you both hear the door bell ring,

“About fucking time! Our food is here.” He cheers, looking for his pants before he answers the door,

You push him back on the bed with a laugh and tell him, “I’ll get it, don’t worry.”

You walk to the door, and when you open it there is a middle age woman standing there with no food in either hand.

“Are you the delivery driver?” You question.

She creases her eyebrows as she steps back to take another look at the apartment number on the door,

“Oh sorry, I guess I have the wrong door, I was looking for my son.”

Just then, Jungkook emerges from the room,

“Was it the food, babe?” He asks from behind you before his eyes widen and he continues,

“Mom?”

A/N: I suck at updating. To those that are reading, thanks for being patient.

Part 5 | Part 6

when all daisies disappear🌼 || chapter 1

• masterlist

• Pairing: taehyung x OC (mental hospital au)

• Genre: angst, fluff, eventual smut, romance

• Word count: 2.6k

• Warning: swearing, will contain themes such as suicidal thoughts, depression and mentions of physical violence. Some of the backstory for Taehyung’s character is taken from the BTS concepts during the hyyh era. if you feel uncomfortable with the topic of mental illness, I advise you not to read further.

•••

chapter 1 ➸ 0 🌼

"It's healthy to reminisce about the past, Jia. It's damaging to live in it." I snapped out of my thoughts to hear my therapist's final sentence after a long speech that analysed my overthinking mentality again.

There I was, sitting right there, right in that chair, thinking to myself for the thousandth time...How did I manage to get myself stuck in here? All these people, therapists, medicine to make me feel 'better'. Sometimes, I feel like I want to be here. But I know that's mainly because I'm too scared to get out, back to people, so I end up acting out of fear, pushing people away. But I could never admit that to someone. Admit it to any therapist or any other patient because that's too weak. People can't feel better with the passage of time, waiting for a change to fall onto their heads from the sky. They can only outgrow their old selves and move on. But that's hard work. And no one really knows how to do that.

Truly getting better and moving on are two different things. They come along with each other, one after the other. So, all this doesn't matter. I could talk about this for hours and it still wouldn't do anything. All I can expect is to get sedated, shut down and forced to have a social interaction when all I want is a true rest. A rest without oversensitive roommates and the forced idea of becoming a "stable person". So why would I play nice?

"I'm not living in the past. I'm resting from it." I said, sighing at the clichè saying he spoke so wisely about. "But when you think about it too much and remember all the hurt, then you do live in it. Regardless of what you say." He spoke as I couldn't really listen anymore. "I want to go to my room." I cut him off before he could say anything and sighed. "We can't avoid the problem like thi-" He tried to speak but I cut him off again. "Please." I spoke, which was something I rarely said, to anyone.

"Alright. I'm going to let you off talk sessions for a few days, only if you need you can come-" He exhaled in a calm tone. "What is it now?" I cut him off, knowing there was something about to happen I'm not going to like so he could analyse me again about it in a few days. He always let me of the hook the easy way when he had his sessions planned for me. I've always thought he was doing that on purpose, regardless of what excuses he would make. He sighed and answered. "You're getting a new roommate today." He said, which made me sigh and roll my eyes. "I want to see if you're going to get along considering your previous roommates." Even though it annoyed me, I realised that was a very acceptable thing to hear from him. At our ward, most people go through one or two roommates during their stay. Not exactly the same with me. I went through 17 roommates since the beginning of the year. When I'm bored next time I should add it all up over the years. Who knows, there might be some sort of a reward for such a high score like that. All of those people wanted to switch to another roommate because of me. I never asked for another roommate. The nurses just kept setting me with them, not wanting me to have a room for myself, thinking that would make me more messed up about human interactions. I scared most of them away by joking quite aggressively, turning those jokes into insults most of the time. I was warned many times but because I’ve been here for a long time, they don't want to switch me to another hospital. That wouldn't help anyone. To say I've been staying here for a while is a big understatement. I've been in here before I even became a teen. I even got my first period in this ward. I lived through the beginning of my teens here, bringing us to now, almost at the end of my teens wondering why do I feel the same I did when I was a kid.

All these roommates spoke the same, describing me as this huge, dramatic bite they couldn't keep up with. Seeing their cried out or frustrated faces somehow made my life fun in here. Only fun for me though. I got up and left the room, without speaking. He knew that I was going to go to the reception desk just to complain about my brand new freshly fucked up roommate, like I always did. I walked down the hallway, pulling down my sleeves of my favourite brown cardigan. Jiyu noticed me on the way and walked with me. "Why me? Why again-" I tried to speak to my favourite nurse but she cut me off. "We talked about that a thousand times, Ji." She spoke, focused on some of the papers she held in her hands. "But-" I tried to speak but she cut me off again, in a busy tone. "The support group is about to start. They're all waiting for you." She said, making me roll my eyes.

"Don't scare him off immediately. He seems very nice." Jiyu said. She is the main nurse in our ward. She was always nice to me, but always told nice things about all my previous roommates so I really couldn't judge her perception to be somewhat realistic. Regardless of that, she's basically always been the only person that could make me smile just by seeing her.

"Ugh, It's a boy this time?" I asked and grunted. "Yes. He's very handsome." She giggled. "Jiyu! Don't make your husband jealous, complementing all these young boys in the pinnacle of their youth-." I joked, overreacting. "Shhh, hurry, they're all gathered together." She chuckled and I quickened my steps. I walked towards the interaction room we had for support groups, musical and art therapy. The chairs and two couches were put in a circle that had sitting 15 people without my presence. That is my group. Group A. Ages 18-21, me being one of the seniors, yet acting worst than the younger ones. 14 patients, all roommates, divided into our light green rooms in that long hallway on the left side. Some roommates get really close, like some two similarly fucked up friends, purely by luck of similarities they might find within each other. 14 fucked up people and of course, Sejun , also kind of fucked up, a psychologist that organized these groups and did art therapies.

"Hi Jia."  Sejun and the others said. I saw an empty place on the two seated couch with my new roommate. It was a boy. Like an actual boy. He looked pretty young and had a childlike face because of his big eyes and plump lips. But his body was not of a teenage boy, yet a young man with large hands. I observed him for a second before sitting down. Usually, these roommates would look quite hopeful when seeing a potential "friend" or seem fucked up just because they were fucked up. It would make me pity them even more, such a pathetic sight. But this guy's first time meeting me facial expression was non existant. He looked at me the unusualy casual way, like he's meeting me for the second or third or a billionth time already. He didn't smile, he just glanced at me like that, making me wonder a little bit.

"Jia, meet Taehyung. He chose to be your roommate for the next month." Sejun said with the enthusiastic look on his face. The word chose stuck with me. For a brief second I felt sorry for the poor bastard because he probably doesn't know what he's in for.

"Yeah, a month." I quietly spoke in a sarcastic tone. I awkwardly sat next to him as he looked down, focused on something else. "So, Taehyung, we are glad to have you here and I hope this will help you in your further recovery. You won't get judged here so say anything that's on your mind." Sejun spoke carefully, trying to give off the casual tone. I rolled my eyes at the choice of the approach towards opening up. Sejun noticed but decided to ignore me. "Why don't you say something about yourself?" Sejun spoke. I crossed my arms and looked at Taehyung, slightly judging and analysing his moves and words. "Uhm, my name is Kim Taehyung. I switched from a different mental instituion that was in Seoul too, I'm-" He spoke in his presumably natural deep voice. "Why the switch?" I cut him off.

"Jia, don't interrupt and don't force people to answer questions they wouldn't be comfortable with-" Sejun said in a warning tone but Taehyung immediately spoke back, acting out a playful gesture. The switch of moods made me confused about him. Is he playing a character the entire time or is he actually real? "It's okay. Uhm, I've been there for a full year, but didn't like it because the ward we had was only ages 25 and me being the exception, I didn't really fit in there. They also thought I'd be a good idea to redirect me somewhere with people my age." He spoke, some words stumbling through the air. "I'm here because...uhm.." He tried to speak but he looked down, nervously tapping his foot, furrowing his eyebrows a little bit. "If you don't feel comfortable, you don't have to say it." Sejun spoke with compassion in his eyes.

"I'd rather keep that to myself for now, sorry." Taehyung said and looked back up, making his ears perk through his hair. "That’s perfectly fine for us. Are you into music or art?" He asked him curiously. "Both, actually." He said in a serious tone and licked his lips. “That’s wonderful. I hope you’re going to enjoy our schedule then.” Sejun’s voice screamed enthusiasm but Taehyung only coldly nodded. I stared at him in pure curiosity. Immediately there was something enigmatic about him. He carried a weird aura with him, something that came off quite unexplained. Sejun started talking individually with every patient while everyone carefully listened. It was my turn to speak about if anything new had happened in my life over the last week since our last session.

"Anything interesting happened?" Sejun asked in a suspicious tone, wanting to get a confession from me. "Nope." I brushed it off playfully, aiming for it to be rude. "Nothing? Not even something you regret or feel bad about?" He asked again, judging me with his gaze. "Never." I rudely said, scratching the back of my neck. "What are you looking at?" I asked, looked to my left where Minjee was. She was the incident Sejun was trying to touch upon. "Please Jia, don't be rude." Sejun tried to remain things calm. Minjee looked at me in a scared yet numbing gaze. I caught eye contact with Taehyung a few times, who was just blankly observing the situation. "Are you going to apologize for what you've done?" Sejun asked in a polite tone. "For what?" I asked, not being too bothered. "For stealing her ear muffs. Then letting worms creep upon her bare ears. Then for putting the ear puffs over your head, and making her reach it." He added in a shocked tone.

I chuckled and rolled my eyes in annoyance as other people comforted Minjee who was almost crying. She was known for that. Her ear muffs. She always wore them as a result of a trauma that happened to her a few years back. She passed out in a forest and woke up with worms and bugs crawling on her face and some entering her ears. One of our youngest and most famous PTSD patients, with such a hilariously disgusting experience. "You should hear yourself how ridiculous that sounds." I said in a provoking tone. "Are we children in the 2nd grade to apologize for such things?" I mocked. After a few moments of silence, before Sejun opened his mouth to speak, a voice filled the room. "Are you that childish to do such a thing, then?" Taehyung softly spoke, immediately leaving me in wonder and slight shock. He caught eye contact with me as everyone intensely stared at him, including Sejun.

"Let me ask you something Taekyun." I spoke, provocating the moment to the fullest extent. "It's Taehyung." He quietly corrected. "Huh." I scoffed. "Have you heard anything about me before getting here?" I asked in a cold tone. Sejun started to get nervous. "Some things here and there. They told me your past roommates described you as troubled." He spoke in an playful and unbothered way. "You heard that before or after choosing?" I provocatively asked. "Before." He spoke easily. "You're so fucki-" I tried to insult but Sejun stopped me before I could swear or say anything bad. I responded a few seconds later with a judging look towards Taehyung and Sejun. Taehyung shrugged his shoulders and spoke again. "I mean, how bad can you be?" He asked a retorical question in a positive reassurement. "Well, we're gonna find that out soon, right?" I chuckled in disbelief at how he thought it would be easy with me. I coldly turned around, ignoring his stare. The alarm clock rang as soon as I finished my retorical question.

I immediately stood up and quietly got scolded for not apologizing to Minjee. I annoyingly nodded and went past him, meeting Jiyu in the hallway. "He's cute, right?" She immediately asked. "You know I'm not going to agree on that." I scoffed. "Why?" She asked, this time annoyed too. "He's annoying me." I spoke back, crossing my arms. I saw Jiyu straightening her posture all of a sudden. "Would you like to show Taehyung around?" Jiyu showed her beautiful white smile, raising her voice a bit, switching the tone completely. I sensed Taehyung was near so I turned around and saw him waving at Jiyu. "Ugh." I groaned. He approached us, his hands behind his back. "I'd love it if you could show me around. " He said in a bright tone.

"C'mon." Jiyu winked unnoticabley, walking away. "Let's make it quick." I said and started walking down the hall. I showed him around the parts he hadn't seen yet. I showed the washroom, toilets and receptions for receiving the medicine. I showed him the cafeteria and explained the gross foods they keep on serving. I showed him the remains of the interaction room that had a ping pong table, a TV and canvases and tables on the other corner, where our art therapy is. He kept quiet the entire time, observing all the rooms. "This shithole tour ends here, for any further confused questions, which I'm sure there'll be plenty of, ask Jiyu, I don't care." I spoke and opened the door to our room, where his two bags were brought. He observed the room, looking up and down. My side of the room was the right side, close to the door. The walls on my side had my drawings and paintings stuck on, giving some life to the emotionless light green room.

Who is this foolish boy? Does a man like this even exist? Is this just a character play or is he actually real? How can I man that I know for such a little while, being that foolish, make me so intrigued? I feel frustrated by him already. More frustrated to the fact that hate doesn't feel like this.

part 2