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marsgod · 2 years

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How about cyborg!reader, who is emotionless, slowly begins to express emotions when they fall in love with the requested character? So then cyborg!reader, who doesn't know how it feels to be in love, confesses to them like this:

"I never knew what it was like to express emotions and yet...your presence alone has changed that. Why? How come I feel an absurd amount of happiness at the sight of you? And why do I feel so warm inside when you are by my side? Everything about you is dear to me and because of that, I fear that I may lose you... How did you become so significant to me? Do you know what this emotion is...?"

(Characters for this request: Idia, Deuce)

I JUST LOVE THE CONCEPT OF AN EMOTIONLESS CYBORG FALLING IN LOVE LIKE??? Kajssjsiejs IM SORRY DONT MIND ME

TBH I’M IFFY ON THIS TROPE BUT LIKE…. The speech? the EMOTIONS?? CONFUSION AT FEELING HAPPINESS FOR THE FIRST TIME AND IT’S KINDA SOF KINDA SAD?? yes? please???

also I’m adding Kalim cus idk i’m thinking of him, what’re you gonna do? call the cops?

⇢ Idia, Deuce, Kalim x Cyborg! Gn! Reader

⇢Warnings; Platonic to romantic. robot/cyborg! reader, gn! reader,confessions, learning abt love

Idia Shroud

Becoming friends with Idia is a task in of itself, so meeting him through Ortho, also a cyborg and determined to get his brother to make friends, drags you to Ignihyde.

He’s careful with you at first, as much as he’s interested because of your robotic features, you’re still sentient and still have thoughts so Idia’s still.. Wary of you

Building up your friendship, Idia is quick to realize that you don’t actually feel emotion, even if you do that awkward fake smile you do that only screams “i haven’t had any emotional contact in years”

He does later realize he likes you, but buries it due to the fact that, well.. You can’t actually feel, and Idia doesn’t really want to confess first (that and the fact, yknow, YOU CAN’T FEEL LOVE)

Throughout the day, you’d seemed quieter than normal, you’d been staring at Idia with your unblinking eyes and he wouldn’t dare to guess what you were thinking about with your neutral face. All day, Idia could feel your eyes burning holes into him, and he doesn’t know whether to be scared or intrigued. At the end of the day, you two had gone to his room, per your usual routine, and you lied on his bed to think.

“You’re the only person who’d pull these emotions out from me, it hurts and.. it’s worrying.. What did you do to me?”

The day you had finally decided to pull him aside though, Idia couldn’t really compare you to anything other than a confused puppy. You sounded concerned (at least the words you used did anyways). Idia listened to your speech, your concern, tuning out everything but your words in surprise and hope.

Idia holds his breath because he’s almost sure this is a dream, and he’d hate to move wrong and wake up, but he knows he needs to answer. Dream or not.

In all honestly though, he’d hate answering this, even if he knows exactly what emotion you’re feeling, what if he’s actually wrong and one kr both of you end up resenting him..?

In the end, if he chooses to explain about what he thinks you’re feeling, you only continue to look at him but with a slightly more familiar and heartwarming twinkle in your eye

Deuce Spade

It’s not hard to be friends with Deuce, not particularly easy either, maybe he’ll come up to you to ask about your robotic nature and to ask if you actually need to eat, maybe it’ll be Ace to introduce you because Deuce was intimidated.

Deuce isn’t awkward or anything, and as much as he doesn’t understand it, he’d be super curious to know how being a cyborg works in everyday life for you, so it’s a motivation to suck up how “scary” you are

Eventually, you become a regular (dare i say frequent) part of Deuce’s life, it might’ve him a bit to realize, as a robotic being, you didn’t exactly feel anything

including love

knowing that, he wouldn’t confess due to not wanting to force you, but he still admired and loved you regardless

You were crying, although you didn’t show much reaction, the raise of your eyebrows and parting of yours lips gave away just how shocked you were.

“I-I don’t know what’s happening, to me? Anytime I’m around you- Goddamnit, what are you doing to me? I’m not meant to feel.”

Deuce, as shocked and happy as he was, didn’t know what to say. Did he comfort you? Did you want his comfort, or was he just supposed to give you an explanation for what you felt?

He didn’t know why you felt it, Deuce was glad you did and was definitely bouncing on the inside, but what was he supposed to do when you were so scared of the new feeling that was so normal to him?

Deuce is happy, he feels like crying himself because of how lucky he is, he’s happy that you did what he probably wouldn’t have had done

Kalim Al-Asim

Kalim, being ever the extrovert, was happy to meet you! He faltered at your slightly monotone exterior (and interior, apparently) but that didn’t last long as he invited you to the next party he was throwing

Kalim knows you can’t feel, but that doesn’t process in his head because he can feel, how can someone live without doing so?

You never had made sense to Kalim, but that’s what the attraction started with, curiosity and the want to understand

You’d quiet, ignoring Kalim for most the day in contemplation, and he wasn’t going to lie, he was kind of hurt and wanted to ask why you’d been talking to everyone but him.

Later, you’d finally, finally, talked to him, Kalim visibly brightened up. The look of happiness slowly faded to shock as you told and ranted to him, about him.

“How did you become so significant to me?”

You’d never know how much Kalim loved you at that moment, he’d love to here those words on repeat and nothing else. He was more excited and happy than anyone could guess, all he wanted to do was hug you.

Kalim is restless with his happiness, and cannot wait to see where this leads you in your relationship.

#twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twst x you #twst headcanons #idia shroud #idia x reader #twst idia #deuce x reader #twst deuce #deuce spade #seems to be a deuce and idia week😌#for good reason tho #{..no identity found..}#{..🌸writing🌸..}

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aroaceconfessions · 2 years

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cw // alcohol mention also this is very long im sorry in advance

as an aroace i tried to be straight for a day and i have concluded it did not work. ‘proper’ (???) kissing was fun, but i think that’s because i was drunk and everything is fun when i’m drunk.

i also put on my Extra Straight Girl hat and tried to like this one guy, but that also didn’t work because i like him, just in no alloromantic or allosexual way at all. he’s a really good cuddler, and it’s really nice to be held by him though, but that also might be because i have realized lately i am very touch starved. but i think it is not entirely that because i feel like i liked being with him More than i would someone else.

he is also the one guy i would like, idk,, i used to be rather sex-repulsed, but personally a lot of that was because of underlying issues for me and now that i have gotten over a few, i think i’m more sex-ambivalent, or like sex-indifferent. in my Trying on Being a Straight Girl episode, i have mentally thought about Things, and honestly if he wanted to i wouldn’t mind trying i think, so there’s that. and i don’t really hold that same perspective with anyone else.

during my adventures of Straightness, it felt nice for my silly little brain to think ‘wow i’m like the other girls now!’ because if we just ignore how it’s nothing like a crush at all, it’s almost like i have a crush on him! and that’s kind of fun hahah i can do all that texting ur best friend like ‘omg what do i say’ thing even if i don’t actually care that much. it’s kind of like when u type LMAO IM CRYING but u’re just sitting there not even smiling, but instead it’s everything and it’s the depth of emotion im not feeling.

idk it’s been very interesting for me this past year about my identity. i’ve identified as ace much longer than i have aro, and it used to be the only thing i was sure of, but it feels like recently i’ve been feeling much much more connected to my aromanticism. because sex is a bit of a… maybe sometimes, most of the time no but i think one day i could, maybe. and my feelings towards it are like, well i have a high libido so idk i’d be more willing than if not. but the point is my feelings have shifted from ‘no never not under any circumstances’ to ‘i mean in another world very similar to this one but not, i could’ so i guess you could describe it that i’m more flippant about it these days. but romance? romantic relationships?

okay, take Object of my Fake Straight Affections. i have considered i would be okay doing Things with him, in an ideal world, if we ever got to that point. but being in a romantic relationship with him? i can think of netflix and chill vibes and it’s like ‘shrug, sure’ but texting him all day and going to him first about the random stuff in my life and seeing him regularly and idk whatever else people do in romantic relationships? i am writing this hungover right now and im going to stop thinking about that, because the discomfort might cause a physical reaction 💀

idk it’s just strange to think about how my identity has become what it is and how i’ve grown since then. i find it really fun though, i like learning more about myself. yknow vaguely offtopic but it occurred to me the other day that all the time i spend introspecting anout myself, people might spend that time daydreaming about being in a relationship. a classmate a few years ago was talking about her future and she was like ‘of course i’ve thought about what my kids would be called! i want 4, 2 boys and 2 girls!’ and i’m now realizing people just. sit there and think about that stuff unprompted. like what. my brain is a test lab where i spend hours litmus testing myself on everything, and some people’s are a perfect sim world of their hopeful future. wild.

even if i did really like that guy though nothing can ever come of it and it makes me a bit sad. because he’s a very much straight cis guy, and he would likely not understand anything aspec. and also my only connection to him is liking being close to him physically, because i am extremely, extremely aroace and despite my best efforts i cannot magically conjure up any attraction, so it’s like. ah. can’t really make an intimate committed relationship out of ‘hey i like your cuddles.’ i mean you could, but not with the straight cis guy who thinks in girlfriend, yknow? like for cishetallo people who don’t even know what the word ‘cis’ means, it’s either date or idk fwb, and i am not looking to go down either path…

it’s kinda weird how i mirror some of the stuff people do when they Like someone tho. cuz i dont wanna ruin our friendship and i dont wanna be just another girl to him. but it’s like, ok so what do you actually want then. and i just dial up tone into the void. which is not very fair were i to get to that point with him. but also it’s unlikely i’d ever get to that point because i don’t think he finds me pretty and i’m probably not his type and i’m very inexperienced but i want him to like me still and see, these are common worries when people have a crush right? but i don’t have a crush??? my brain just looks at it all and cherry picks the randomest of stuff apparently.

man i think i’m just a mess 😭 im all over the place. i really am just treating this like some confession box i’m pretty sure nobody cares about this but i’m glad i can come here and say it all anyway. this is one of my favorite blogs ans im happy it exists

#aromantic #asexual #aroace #arospec #acespec #aspec #aroacespec #arose #amatonormativity #heteronormativity #internalized aphobia

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szynkaaa · 4 years

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I more or less watched The Boy!!! And by watching, I mean I skipped more or less through the jump scare parts because I cannot do horror movies at all. I haven’t watched one since 2015 and The Boy was like the first horror movie after five years

Full disclosure, the ONLY reason I started watching the movie was because someone posted a gif of Greta standing close to Brahms who was all sweaty and breathing heavily n I was like “oh shit who dat he hot” and here I am

Can anyone explain the sandwich scene to me? So Greta was scared shitless and locked herself in her room, but why did Brahms make her favorite sandwich for her?

I did some digging for interviews and generally what people have been saying about the movie, took some screenshots from youtube to put my thoughts and musing together too!

Can anyone explain the sandwich scene to me? So Greta was scared shitless and locked herself in her room, but why did Brahms make her favorite sandwich for her?

So first of all, let’s start with a low resolution photo I found on IG of James Russell without mask:

which brings me to my first musing/thought/question?

It’s all under the cut, very screenshot and text heavy, you can find more Brahms drawing at the bottom though ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So at the end of the movie, we are shown a Brahms with a broken mask and his face being burned, indicating that he was in fact in the fire.

I assumed first that the fire was created by the parents to fake their sons death and then he had to live hidden inside the walls?

But I’ve also heard apparently it was Brahms who set the fire to fake his own death or maybe an eight years old kid really was trying to burn himself down??

My other theory is that his parents made the fire and tried to kill Brahms and it did burn him but he survived, and the parents didn’t wanna go to jail sooo to hide everything they made their son live in the walls

i mean the responsible thing would be to turn their kid in and have him treated and stuff;;; listened to a murder podcast about two cases where kids murdered enough kids and how they are doing now interesting read Brahms made me think of those two cases

I also do not think that the previous nannies were killed. Like, c’mon. You’d report a person missing and sooner or later it would go back to the Heelshire mansion and if the body counts piles up? Can’t look good and I doubt that the Heelshire wants the police investigating them close up.

Also, when the mom was like “He’s chosen you if you’ll have him” to Greta? Is it just me or the wording or does it sound like a marriage proposal/arrangement xD

Brahms is a brat and he sees the people around him as his possession or to toy around. But I also do think that he has some abandonment issues but not in the sad tragic kind of way lmao. Even if he was the one controlling and manipulating his parents from behind-the-scene (quite literally I suppose?), he was still told as a kid to live in hiding and that no one can know he is alive. I don’t know much about the human brain, but I can imagine how damaging that must be to his mental growth and set him back in some way? We don’t know too much about his relationship with his parents - but I assume that he must have still loved them in his own twisted way. Can’t imagine that he would have been indifferent about his parents suicide.

The scene before Greta manages to back out - first he uses the child voice to beg her to come back and promises he will be good. That’s his manipulating Greta, but when that doesn’t work and she tries harder to open the door, he becomes more desperate to keep her there and then completely loses his temper and threatens to kill Malcolm if she doesn’t return. I’m pretty sure homeboy would have killed him anyway. And then later when she returns and he is all heavy breathing and smelling her hair and then jumps up when she shouts Brahms? Idk I def think there is some sort of abandonment issue going on.

I don’t think he is a child stuck in a man’s body or manchild or whatever. I think that he does know how to take care of himself - but he just chooses to manipulate people with the facade of a kid to do his bidding and cater to his needs.

Anywhomst, but clearly Brahms is also a very manipulative and controlling person based, based on how the mother was reacting on the destroyed bedroom, she really seemed to be at the end of her wits and just breaking down with her “you promised you’d be good”. It was very heartbreaking to watch and also scary because it really makes you realize just how much power Brahms holds over them?? idk maybe it was just me.

Next point: the CGI mask + the burns

So according to some interviews with the director stated that at the first test streaming, people weren’t really scared of Brahms because he was too handsome so they had to slap a mask over his face. The face was done after everything was filmed. I’m thinking the face burns were also added post-production when they were adding the cgi mask. Otherwise, James would have needed to go through the makeup department for some wicked face burns and it would have been visible during the filming and test screening too? Which would imply that at first the fire was supposed to be just a cover story that their son is dead and it was changed later

Observation/thoughts on Brahms Heelshire

Love how he stands there with his hands behind his back and then nods when Greta tells him to go under the cover

James Russell is 191cm tall. So like. Brahms is really fucking tall. But I notice that most of the time he stands with a slight hunch. Could be due to him crawling through the walls and crawling out of places that requires him to do a lot of crouching. His bed in his hideout made me really sad, I’ll get to it later.

Since James didn’t get many lines in the ten minutes that he appeared, I do think that his eyes did all the acting. They stand out even more with the mask on, there is just this crazy look on it. I also noticed during my rewatch that he doesn’t seem to blink much or at all.

Oh yeah, he also peeped on Greta and Malcolm making out on the bed and then cockblocked them. We been knowing that he made a Greta doll and very likely jerked off to it. We also been knowing that he very very very likely wanted to bone Greta at the goodnight kiss scene still waiting for the maskeless kiss scene gimme gimme. I also highly doubt that Brahms has much first-hand experience with kissing n stuff. High key thinking he was trying to do copy Malcolm and do what he observed lmao

When I first watched the scene, I assumed that the hole behind the mirror has always been and it’s just another one of the hidden passages Brahms to slip in and out, but now that I’m looking at the shape of the holes, it seems to me more like the mirror and brick wall were broken at the same time?? If that is the case holy shit boy is s t r o n g. I mean, he also punched through the closet door like no big deal so really what have the parents been feeding him.

I’m also leaning toward the fact that he ran there because Greta screamed loudly. I don’t think he was in the room as them when everything went down there, it seemed more like he heard the scream and had to nyoomed over and then punched a way through to get out of the wall. And then went on to attack Cole. He must have known that Greta wanted Cole gone, since that what she whispered to the doll before going to bed.

Tbh, I fully expected him to murder Cole in his sleep, but Brahms wrote a warning message in blood to tell him to get out soooooo like. Cole you were warned and now you gotta live with the consequences ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Brahm’s sleeping corner

This scene was shown at the end after Greta and Malcolm escaped. We also see them briefly during the part where Greta and Malcolm are trying to find a way out and stumbled into Brahms’ hideout. I’m not sure why the rules are slapped on the walls. It seems to me that Brahms is very very very set on that the rules / routine should be followed. In the movie, he called Greta and suggested to her that she should follow the rules, to which she then started doing it.

I headcanon that that’s the routine that he grew up with as a kid and it’s just very very very very very hard to break out of it - not that he is trying to break the routine.

I’m failing to find a good way to put my thoughts into words, but I guess the rules and routine is sort of his coping mechanism?

I suppose if you had an OC that you ship Brahms with and want to change stuff around the house, the OC would have to very slowly introduce new rules and routines. Baby steps, yknow.

Brahms has a violin hanging there! Honestly I would be surprised if Brahms didn’t know how to play at least one instrument. The family also has an old ass piano/clavichord (?) and Brahms loves classical music soo yeah. Love me a boy who appreciates classical musical hehe

I suppose the egg boxes are there to soundproof the room more - maybe so he can play the violin?

There’s also music sheets hung around his attics, it’s not clear on the screenshots but when you rewatch the scene and shove your face close to the screen. Some are hanging next to the violin and there are some taped on the wall next to his bed and porn too

nice to see he has a fridge and microwave, I was concerned that he wasn’t well fed and that leftovers might not be enough, but then again. Dude is 191 cm so clearly he has been drinking his milk

Didn’t take a screenshot of his vanity, but there is a crocodile magnet stuck to the mirror hehe. I do think that he shaves and stuff, otherwise his beard would be much longer??

We can see more music sheets stuck to a pillar on the right.

Loving the christmas lights that he has hanging there above his bed. It’s cute.

On the shelf he has a bunch of tupperware and empty bowls. Most of hte things are neatly organized. We can also see some books and a pen

There’s some sunlight streaming inside - I do hope that Brahmsy stays warm during winters.

Here we can see more of the food that he has there - there is also a sink but I didn’t snatch a screenshot of it. I think those are potatoes in the pot? Maybe he does know how to cook some basic stuff, I do wonder if he has a functioning kitchen up there. Probably not for fire safety reasons lol

Yall see that thing on the note sheet covered pillar? Ngl, that’s a whole ass aesthetic right there.

He got a few potted plants up there. Took a closer look at them and it seems like they were healthy. So he knows how to take care of plants, which is nice to know I suppose?

Yes, we all know what he was doing with the doll and what the tissue balled up tissue implies. However, has anyone noticed the size of the bed???

If you scroll up a bit to the screenshot of Greta seeing the doll, it looks t i n y. The make shift doll takes up more than half of the space.

Yall. this breaks my heart. Dude is a beanstalk. I’m pretty sure the bed is from when he was a kid shoved by his parents to live inside the wall, does he have to sleep there in his adulthood too???

Even though Brahms strikes me as someone who probably doesn’t sleep much or during normal times, that bed must be so tiny for him. He must be sleeping with his knees bend and shit unable to stretch out :(((

Brahms: is a psychopath that smashed the skull of a girl and very abusive tormented his parents and then Greta Me: omg he needs a bigger bed that poor thing :(((

Brahms’ DIY corner

Ah yes, Brahm’s little DIY/creative corner.

Homeboy got lot of animal traps, cages and taxidermies hanging around, pointing strongly toward that it’s a hobby of it?

Also at the end where we see him fixing up the doll, we can get a better shot at his desk, and I gotta say the threads and stuff are all very nicely organized. Brahms’s table looks more organized than mine does lmao.

So we know he is a crafty boy. Not sure how difficult taxidermy is but I imagine it does take a lot of time to learn? Well he had all the time in the world anyway.

So yeah, that’s a wrap. Congrats if you made it to the bottom of my incoherent thoughts and ramblings, have a bonus drawing of Brahms wearing different masks:

#the ham talks #brahms heelshire #the boy #the boy 2016 #brahms #brahmbling

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dahniwitchoflight · 3 years

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Homesquared Chapter 14 part b

Alright time for more reactions to Homesqaured- oh jeezus

the last one of these I did was from october last year, hoo boy alright brain time to get back on the time train things are happening fast

we last left off with me thinking they just fucking hilled Harry but I remembered the wrong house so Harrys fine, John not so much

Yeah, John sad but ooh Karkat shows up!

They seem to have a mutual conversation about lost youth and stuff, really makes these characters feel oold

“JOHN: jeez, i'm sorry karkat.

JOHN: i had no idea how much time had passed.

JOHN: i must have gotten a bit distracted by my house being blown up.“

Oh man, John thats a whole ass MOOD

lol at sburb allocated blow job

yeah Karkats right tho, John does kind of need a kick in the pants to see how he might have been useful here, but Johns still stuck in this rut of not seeing anything around him as Real real, so hes blind to all of the consequences of inaction

John its called derealization and depersonalization, you can get help for that yknow

But I mean, cant really blame him, hes being smothered by the fires of Doom all around him

Its interesting to see that Karkat, a Blood player, is more comfortable navigating through things that constrain them and tie them down, since constraint is something Blood and Doom have in common, Chains and Barriers and Laws and etc

Whereas John the Breath player, just gets bogged down, hes totally out of his element

so it ends up being like John: “Id like to cling to some funny moments of my youth pls and try to lighten the situation up a bit because I cant do anything when so heavy”

versus Karkat being like: “BUCKLE UP FUCK TITS THIS SHIT IS YOUR LIFE NOW GETS USED TO WADING KNEE DEEP IN THE SHIT LIKE THE REST OF US GROWN ASS ADULTS”

John: ):

Hmm, both Vriskas have been captured, but Annie basically rescued herself, knowing Vriska Prime she probably has a plan or an idea about that, see well see how that goes

“KARKAT: JANE'S PLAN FOR THIS CONFLICT HAS THUS FAR CONSISTED ALMOST ENTIRELY OF KIDNAPPING VARIOUS HIGH PROFILE CHILDREN.

KARKAT: IT'S BIZARRE.

KARKAT: AS THOUGH WE ARE FIGHTING A WAR OF ATTRITION, WHERE THE MAIN RESOURCE BEING UTILIZED IS THE OFFSPRING OF THE MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE ON THE PLANET.KARKAT: IF IT WASN'T ONE OF THE CORE TENETS OF HER FASCISTIC PHILOSOPHY, I'D BE TEMPTED TO SAY THAT CURBING REPRODUCTION MIGHT HAVE BEEN A GOOD IDEA, IF ONLY TO PREVENT THIS KIND OF FUCKSHIT NONSENSE FROM HAPPENING.

Oh. Well I guess that was Dirk’s “plans” for Jane all along. Obviously he was using Jane as a vehicle to gather “players” for his eventually next session, interesting

But who has Jane kidnapped in total thus far?

Does Tavros count? he was certainly trapped with her for some amount of his life, but I dont know if that counts as a kidnapping, John certainly tried to kidnap HIM though from the epilogues

Annie certainly counts as being kidnapped

Vrissy has JUST been captured so that counts, and Harry so far is still fine

Which bodes so well for Harry’s future Im sure

Yeah, Vriska should have been able to not outwit any capture attempts, but my guess is either Vrissy got capture and Vriska dove in, OR, Vriska’s doing an inside job so to speak and got caught on purpose, dragging Vrissy along as well

I guess we’ll see when we see their “prison”

Anyway John, don’t get so down on yourself, you’re just ignorant to everythiong around you! thats why nothing makes sense and you can’t connect to anything, easy fix! Just try to learn more and care more about stuff lol

Man does this feel like a strong metaphor between people who are into/care about politics and people who feel like they can’t get into it though

Crossing that hurdle from one side to the other is rough

“KARKAT: BUT NOTICING THE PROBLEM AND MAKING MEANINGFUL PROGRESS TOWARDS SOLVING IT ARE TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS.”

yup

man, this is all feeling startlingly relevant to the current times, I should have read this sooner

“ KARKAT: PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME YOU JUST HAD ANOTHER EMOTION THAT WE NEED TO DROP EVERYTHING IN ORDER TO DISSECT. “

hah, oh wow, Karkat when you phrase it like that, it’s almost as if you’ve become self aware of your tendencies to Moirail people out of their problems

Not really that out of character for a Blood player to end up being the Therapy Friend though lol

Just don’t burn yourself out on that though

JOHN: karkat, we still haven't spoken about *you*!

KARKAT: ABOUT ME?

JOHN: yes.

KARKAT: ABOUT *ME*?

JOHN: about you.

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT ME.

JOHN: well...

JOHN: you know, how you feel!

KARKAT: HOW I FEEL.

I know Karkat has probably matured past misunderstandings like this now given he’s really come into a great understanding of his Blood aspect, but by golly do I wish Karkat would misunderstand this as John’s attempts to be Moirail-reciprocal sdkjfhwlijebr

What a perfect way to continue their relationship, on top of more misconstrued romance quadrants XD

Spades is old Hat, Diamonds are in now babey

this started out funny, but Karkat’s emotional rant just ended up being depressing not funny ):

I have to say though, it is REALLY interesting to see John’s depression manifesting in a very breathy sort of way

Karkat in these panels was more closer together, connected, but as John gets more and more depressed over the course of Karkat’s rant when he realizes Karkat doesn’t know dave died, the panels get seperated by lines of blue, and slowly drift off away from John and from eachother

but thats basically been hows its been manifesting all along

the more John feels Disconnected and Seperate from the reality he finds himself in, the more he finds his will untethered, the more depressed and unable to act he gets

and right now its so much so that even a fuller fledged Blood player is having trouble grounding him back down

I don’t know, I always viewed the depression metaphor as a dark watery void to sink into and feels heavy and encapsulating (but probably thats just my Light-y interpretation of it)

so its interesting to see the depression metaphor as this floating disconnection instead, so much that it leans towards derelaization/depersonalistion/dissociation as well

I wonder if John will start dealing with bouts of actual full blown dissociation as this gets worse?

I mean, Breath aspect has given the literal ability to ghost around wherever he pleases in all other ways, why not literally and physcologically as well?

So John seems to be fully overembracing his aspect here, to a very unhealthy degree here, which I see you asking “aha Dahni, but hes doesn’t have overblown self esteem here, quite the opposite, is this not an inverted state instead? or something else because hes acting like hes inverting to Breath?”

and I say not so! reader, for overembracing is the idea that through your aspect, your will is overwriting the wills of others, and in someone like Vriska, this manifests in a very selfish and over self esteemed way

but is not John’s will overwriting Karkat’s here? Through Breath? And isnt John also being a little selfish here? Considering how he feels about things, more important than how anyone else feels? How Karkat feels?

John is too dissociated to understand that this reality is Real and has Consequences he needs to care about, and Karkat is trying to fight against that, trying to instill his belief that no, this shit is real and it Matters Why Don’t You Care, trying to ground him, trying to give him that dose of Blood he needs

but John’s overembracing Breath is just, blowing that all away, its becoming too strong

Roxy in the epilogues dealt with this as well, when John was really in the shits with it and started to believe Roxy’s whole personality was somehow fake and his own construction, because he convinced himself Roxy would never choose to do the things she did, but Roxy was able to snap him out of it and make him understand and respect it was her own choices that led down his path, not the idea that John’s choices are somehow overriding everyones

But man, John sure is riding that Breath train way too hard, and he keeps snapping back into it as well

Further and Further

#Homesquared #Homestuck^2 #Homestuck #John Egbert #Karkat Vantas #dissociation

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koshicoast · 3 years

Text

Randomly thought of but MHA except Bakugou’s hatred for Deku isnt because he’s quirkless. Bakugou doesn’t hate or is prejudice towards quirkless people, he hates weak people

AU where Bakugou is still somewhat the same as in canon but his feelings and thoughts come from a different mindset

Growing up his parents taught him that a quirk doesn’t make a person stronger, the person makes a quirk strong

This leads him to train in not only with his quirk but also in various areas that could potentially come up during hero work (lock picking, reading body language, shit like that) bc if he’s weak then so is his quirk

If you’re wondering how a child is learning all of this, this is Bakugou-fucking-Katsuki. If he wants something, he’s gonna get it even if it means he has to go through hell.

Luckily in this AU, his parents aren’t neglectful or shitty!! they indulged in his whims more of them than not!!

They’re both famous fashion designers and have a lot of connections when it comes to ‘high end society’ so if katsuki wants to learn how to dress to kill or something like that, they already have it set up for him!

The Bakugou’s teach their little victory all of their tricks and tips about how to theoretically make clothes that have extra space for weapons (they know his desire to be a hero and while they’re a little worried they’re just happy he’s being prepared for the long run.) They don’t actually make clothes for him to hide weapons, they verbally tell him how to do something and tips but they leave it up to him to complete the task to a proficient level

They also let their coworkers teach Bakugou stuff, anything their kid would find important or somewhat interesting (taking pictures is boring but learning how to take clear pictures of a loving target is interesting)

Many models, photographers and people who know the Bakugous have basically adopted Katsuki as their feral child since many of them are unable to have their own kids due to their work

Now, Bakugou has learned things about body language (how to read it), how to fake his confidence, sewing, stitching, how to dress for any situation, etc from his parents and their coworkers

However while those skills are important for him (he has a plan to be the best and he can’t be the best if he’s lacking in skills) he needs to know how to fight hand to hand without a quirk or how to pick locks or how to pickpocket (who knows, maybe he’ll have to steal something from a villain!!)

He doesn’t tell his parents what his specific plans are but he does tell him he’s gonna do training on his own

Now normal parents would be worried but for the sake of the AU let’s just say that katsuki’s parents work on the mentality that ‘their child is strong and even if he gets knocked down, he’ll be right back up. He’s a Bakugou.’

Bakugou’s never give up, it’s not in their blood to give up.

So, Bakugou, feral child, goes off on his own to experience a real fight with people who won’t care if they hurt him or to find someone to teach him how to pick a lock or pickpocket

Most of the adults he’s met are just amused by this kid so they too indulge him and his demands

Especially those who spar with him, Bakugou has made it clear that if he feels like they’re holding back he’ll make it so they can’t afford to anymore

(Yes this isn’t always a good thing but what matters is that he’s survived and somewhat friends with a bunch of shady people)

(They’ll tell you that they’re friends, Bakugou thinks that they’re worthy opponents)

Now this leads me to his relationship with deku

Originally he didn’t actually hate Deku when it’s announced that he’s quirkless, why would he? The nerd just has to get strong and it’ll be fine!

Deku isnt weak because he doesn’t have a quirk just like how Bakugou isn’t strong just because he has a quirk

That mentality lasts for 3 seconds

he starts to hate how the green boy lets that determine his future of being a hero or not

Deku being quirkless isn’t a problem. Deku allowing himself to be weak because he’s quirkless is a problem.

He just gets so frustrated with deku that he eventually just pulls away. He doesn’t want to hang out with someone who doesn’t work towards a goal, blood, sweat, tears and all that.

Deku wanting to be a hero is funny to Bakugou because deku is weak, the nerd let’s people step all over him especially Bakugou

To Bakugou, if deku just stood up for himself for once then he’d respect him

For obvious reasons, Midoriya does not know this and everyone including him assumes Bakugou just hates him because he’s quirkless

(The only exceptions is Bakugou’s parents because they have the same mindset and Inko because her and Mitski are best friends so she’s more than aware of their thought process)

For reasons, Bakugou’s ‘bullying’ is more like taunts and if he does use his quirk he never directly harms Midoriya (he just wants to push the kid to act not kill him) this also means he never tells deku to kill himself

Midoriya firmly believes Bakugou hates him and acts more or less the same as he does in canon

However he doesn’t see how the blonde will text inko to let her know when Midoriya is having a really bad day or how Bakugou wards off students who want to seriously harm him

Is this an excuse to write about Bakugou acting as a ‘reluctant older sibling who just wants the best for the younger but doesn’t know how to verbalize it so their actions come off as bullying or the likes’ and Midoriya being the ‘younger sibling who is terrified of their older sibling but still admires them greatly yet will never say that out loud because they’re convinced said older sibling hates them’? Maybe

Needless to say, this leads to an interesting conversation when the topic of quirkless people comes up during class

Bakugou scowls as he feels his classmates’ stares burn into his skull. He turns around with sneer, his palms popping. “What?” He manages to ask through gritted teeth. All without blowing up too.

His dad is gonna be so proud.

“W-well..” Shitty hair stammers, looking uncomfortable as he shifts in his chair. (The only reason why he doesn’t immediately get blown up is because Bakugou likes him. He’s man enough to admit he’s got a crush but like hell is he gonna do anything about. What he’s not gonna do though? Blow up said crush.)

“Y’know how you are!” Dunce Face blurts out, Tape Face elbowing his stomach harshly as Pinky hisses a not so quiet ‘not cool dude!’ . Now the others are exchanging shifty glances and from how reluctant they are to meet his eyes, he already has a good idea what this is about.

“Yeah yknow we’re just

“Yeah?” His eyes narrow with disdain as his ugly scowl softens into a calculating frown and he tilts his head just slightly. His arms crossed across his chest while he forces his body to relax. It takes just a few seconds but his aura changes from the ‘typical bad boy delinquent’ vibe he usually has going on and turns into something much more. It works wonders and he has a brief flashback from a conversation he had as a kid.

“You want to be intimadating? Don’t shout, don’t fire off your explosions, don’t give any reaction. Be cold, be caculating. Be dangerous little one. Being quiet is the most dangerous one can get.”

He has the electric blonde pinned under his look and faintly he can hear a ‘oh shit’ from a few seats away. He knows what he looks like, practiced the fuck out of this particular stare that a Russian model taught him all those years ago when he went on a fashion trip with his parents.

“I’ll teach you how to be scary little firecracker. Make us proud, you’re our little victory.”

Models, he muses privately as he watches the boy sweat bullets, are as dangerous as they are pretty. It takes a few moments of tense silence before someone eventually breaks and unsurprisingly it’s fucking half-n-half. He doesn’t have a real issue with daddy issues but he’s got a bone to pick with the tea kettle lover after the whole incident at the sports festival. The thought of fighting him is enough to get his blood going.

“They thought you’d hate quirkless people.” Hot Water fucker says, face void of any emotion and voice monotone. Ever since being friends with the nerd, IcyHot has gotten a lot better at speaking up when normally he’d just ignore everything. (Now if only shitty deku could pound some emotion that’d be great.)

Even though he’d expect it, he can’t help but laugh.“Why would I hate quirkless people?” He questions, raising a perfect brow. He drops his arms, an elbow perched up on Midoriya’s desk as his cheek rests on his open palm. He watches them falter, hesitation in their eyes. He decides to add fuel to fire, “One of my favorite people in this world is quirkless. She works for my parents as a secretary, I visit her every time I go.”

He doesn’t bother to listen to the responses, snapping his head and making direct eye contact with the nerd. “I hate people who have potential but let others tell them where they belong. It’s pathetic and sad. They should go get some fucking dignity, you think having a quirk is any better than not having one? It’s like having an arm, it’s the norm but if you don’t got it doesn’t mean you’re broken.” His words come out even despite the frustration building under his skin, he sees how Deku’s eyes widen in some kind of realization so he forces himself to pull his gaze away before landing onto Pony Tail. He doesn’t have an issue with her and actually likes her a lot better than the others but her confidence is so low it offends him, especially since he sees her as an opponent. Her eyes grow big and he can tell she’s nervous but before he can change his mind, his mouth opens. Oops.

The idiots practically brought this upon themselves. Reap what you sow dumbasses.

He just goes off and everyone is just stunned because they had this idea of him but that completely crumbled as soon as he started to reveal some of his thoughts and opinions

(Kirishima always kinda knew Bakugou was like this just bc I say so)

I know where this was going but now I do not lmao

Anyways he said his peace and it’s all quiet as people take in what he said and Ofc mineta decides to say something

“I don’t wanna hear that from a villain!” The diaper baby shrieks loudly, the grape fucker’s finger shaking as he points at him. Now usually, Bakugou has no problem with blasting the little pervert and calling it a day but he’s not quite done giving the literal talk down of a century just yet.

“Listen here you sex offender in training” He sneers and he takes great pleasure in seeing the other tremble in fear. “Wanna know why people shut the fuck up when I talk? Why people bother to take my advice? Why compared to me, you’re just a coward that no one besides the class’s resident sunshine trio will ever look at twice?” He asks, getting up slowly. No one stops him as he takes a step forward.

“Because I say actually fucking matters.” Step. “What I say is based off of experience and talent.” Step. “If you’re lucky then maybe the shit you spew will be worth something because it’s not worth anything here.” He finally makes it to his desk, towering over the other.

“You don’t like what I gotta say? Deal with it. I’ll continue to talk my shit to everyone and anyone because I can back it up. Can you? You fought any villains recently like teach over there? You go through some sudden growth and expand your moral compass like glasses? You fight and protect a little girl from the yakuza recently like Deku and Shitty hair? How bout deal with a shitty dad or shitty parenrs like IcyHot and Eyebags? What? Piss baby too scared now? Yeah, where were you when we were fighting for our lives? Were you there when Pikachu and Tape Face and Racoon Eyes fought against the villains in USJ?” He questions but everyone knows he’s not asking for an answer. “You there when birdbrain almost got kidnapped? You there when I got kidnapped? No? Then do everyone a fucking favor and shut the fuck up or I swear to whatever god you believe in, I’ll shove my fist down your throat and into your pathetic body and explode you so badly they’ll be scrapping off your guts for days.”

Needless to say, it was an interesting class

#bakugou headcanons #bnha bakugou #bakugou katsuki #drabble #snippets #my hero academia #mha #kiribaku #but only if u squint #boku no hero headcanons #donT come for me iM tired

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transcendence-au · 4 years

Note

r!Pacifica tricks Dipper into running a booth at a TwinCon. He comes across an r!Mabel and an r!Henry who meet at his booth. (Also, brownie points if it’s a Mizcor booth)They both talk about how much they love Alcor and want to date him, and Dipper helps them realize that the traits they’re projecting onto ‘Alcor’ are actually traits they can find in each other. SO WOODZAR HAS BLOSSOMED IN THE PLACE OF MIZCOR

Mod F got really excited about this and ended up writing a thing! (Here it is on AO3 too)

===

Dipper looked toward the entrance of the convention center, at the large banner proudly proclaiming “WELCOME TO TWINCON 2896″, and slammed his head face-first onto the table.

Damn Aubrey. Damn her to the deepest pits of the Nightmare Realm for making him run a booth at TwinCon. He couldn’t believe he’d let himself get taken in by her evil tricks and wily ways; couldn’t believe he made a bet with her and lost. That was the last time he trusted Pacifica’s soul. And he totally meant it this time! Way more than the last eight times Aubrey had tricked him. He definitely wasn’t going to immediately go back to being friends with her. This was the last straw.

A loud creak announced the opening of the main con doors, and the room was quickly filled with a flurry of excitement. Dipper picked his head off the table with a sigh and prepared himself for a long day of peddling garbage. He considered how he must look – a sad demon sitting under a sign reading “MICOR MEMORABILIA” and surrounded by perverse figurines, body pillows, and graphic novels.

And then his curiosity got the better of him. He conjured a mirror in his hand and immediately noticed his top hat was askew, so he reached up to straighten it out. Perfect. He actually looked pretty good that day if he did say so himself. His hair was fluffy, his suit was pressed, his teeth looked sharp. Nice and presentable. He was so busy making faces in the mirror that he almost forgot he was at a convention, until -

“Excuse me, sir?”

“Ack!” Dipper yelped in surprise, his hat shooting high into the air. Despite this, he didn’t take his eyes off the mirror. “What do you want?”

“I hope I didn’t frighten you! You’ve got some lovely merch here. I was just wondering how much this comic would cost.”

“Check the price tag,” he responded gruffly.

“I- I tried, but it doesn’t look like there is one.”

Groaning, Dipper flicked his eyes away from his own beautiful reflection so he could see exactly what depraved nonsense the voice wanted to purchase, and -

Mizar smiled sweetly back at him.

The mirror shattered in his hand. Oh no. Oh no no no no no. This wasn’t happening. Why was she here? What was going on?

“I’ve heard about this series before,” he suddenly realized Mizar was saying, “but I never had the chance to check it out before. It’s a coffee shop AU, right? It’s so inspiring that fans can take the framework of Twin Souls and make even more beautiful stories based off of it.”

Dipper’s head was too filled with buzzing to really make much sense of what she was saying. All he could think about was how his sister’s soul was apparently a fan of the worst book series in the universe. It didn’t even seem like she was doing it as a gag like Mabel did – the girl in front of him was radiating nothing but enthusiasm and sincerity in her aura.

“Oh, I’ve read that!” another voice piped in. “It’s dope as fuck, although the first volume’s got a bit of a Woodzar focus. But if you can power through that, it’s high key Micor there on out.”

Okay okay okay. He could do something about this. Maybe he’d take Mizar aside and have a talk with her about why being a Twin Souls fan was a sin of the highest calibre. Dipper tore his eyes away from her for a moment to tell the newcomer to go away, but no sooner did he get a good look at them than he felt all the air kicked out of his imaginary lungs.

“Don’t get me wrong, man,” Henry’s soul continued, a sly look on her face. “Woodzar is a fine ship. There’s a lot of good Woodzar fic out there and I don’t fault anyone for writing it. But if we’re gonna be honest with ourselves, it’s pretty obvious that Alcor and Mizar belong together. Their romantic chemistry is off the goddamn charts. Remember when they finally kissed in the first novel? Oh, fuckin’ heart palpitations, man.”

The blood drained from Dipper’s face. What in the world was happening? Why were Mizar and Henry both Twinners? What was the universe punishing him for this time??

“I know, right?” Mizar replied with a giggle. “My name’s Minty, by the way. It’s nice to meet you.”

Henry’s soul grinned back. “Halley. Nice to meet you too. I knew coming to this con would be a good idea – it’s the perfect place to find like minded people.”

“What about you?” Minty asked, and it took Dipper a minute – so embroidered was he in querying his omniscience to see exactly what traumatizing thing had happened to Minty and Halley that made them turn out this way – to realize that she was talking to him.

“I, uh, I’m… not a… Micor is bad,” he said finally.

Halley frowned. “What, don’t you love Alcor too? You’re running a booth at TwinCon and your cosplay is on-point! That suit must’ve been expensive, and the wings look almost real!”

Puffs of steam shot out from Dipper’s ears and he flared his wings. “It’s not a cosplay, I just look like this! And I’ll have you know that I would’ve never in a million years gone to a TwinCon if my friend Aubrey hadn’t pretended to be really bad at hula hooping and then made a bet with me that she could beat me in a hula hoop contest and then absolutely kicked my ass into the stratosphere with her nutty good hooping! Graggh!” He slammed his forehead into the table again.

“Awwww,” Minty cooed. “Stage fright is the worst. I know I sure was nervous the first time I went to a con in full cosplay. That was awful nice of your friend to convince you to go anyway!”

Dipper’s head shot up and he stared slack-jawed at the two of them just as Halley nodded. “You’ve got this man, you know? Like I said, your outfit kicks ass. And hey, thanks for opening up to us. That can’t have been easy.”

“B- but I- you WHAT-” Dipper stammered.

Minty squeaked and clapped her hands together. “Yeah! I feel like I’ve made some great friends at this con already.”

“I’m- n- no you’re WILDLY mistaken- this isn’t-”

Both Halley and Minty turned their backs to the increasingly flustered demon and leaned against the stall, looking off into the rest of the hall with pensive expressions. “Friends are nice,” Halley murmured, “but what I wouldn’t give to meet Alcor at this convention. He’s everything I want in a partner. And then I wouldn’t be so lonely anymore.”

Minty put her hand on Halley’s shoulder. “I know what you mean! He’s so confident and protective. Loyal to a fault. If Alcor was here, I’d ask him on a date!”

“What makes you think Alcor wants to date any of you humans?” Dipper grumbled. “Or anyone at all?”

“Don’t be such a pessimist, man!” Halley responded. She patted Dipper on the back, surprising him into coughing out a little cloud of yellow sparkles. “Alcor is real and he’s out there. As long as there’s the smallest spark of hope that he might love me back, I’ll follow him to the ends of the Earth!”

Minty slapped her forehead, startling Dipper out of the silent terror written all over his face. “Oh, duh! He’s cosplaying as Alcor because he’s here to find his Miiiizar! That’s why he’s not interested in Alcor’s love! I connected the dots!”

“No, you haven’t connected anything!” Dipper tried to cut in, terror returning in full force because the situation was spiralling rapidly out of control, but Minty kept going.

“Ah, if only I was Mizar,” she trilled as Dipper watched her soul dance traitorously in her chest. “Then it’d only be a matter of time before Alcor came to ask me out. We’d go to the coffee shop he works at and someone would cover his shift. I’d get a hot chocolate; he, an iced latte.” She sat on the table, sending a set of Mizar action figures toppling over onto Dipper’s lap. “I’d tell him all about how art school’s going and he’d confide in me some dark secrets about how the 2801 moon landing was faked because giant aliens were playing golf with the planets and accidentally knocked the moon into a black hole. And then, finally, he’d give me a dainty kiss on the cheek, and I’d make a little squeaky noise, yknow, and he’d blush and ask me if it was alright for him to do that, and then I’d say I’d rather you kiss me on the lips instead. And then -”

“Okay, I think I’ve heard enough of your fanfiction!” Dipper shouted, cheeks going completely scarlet, claws making deep gashes in the table from how tightly he was gripping it. “I didn’t- I’ve never- No one needed to hear that, it’s- I feel lightheaded.”

“I know what you mean, man,” Halley spoke up, an obvious wobble to her tone. Dipper and Minty looked up to see her staring off into the distance, eyes red and puffy, hands crossed over her heart. “I’m feeling it too. That was so beautiful, Minty, you sure as hell have got a way with words. And yknow, I- I work in a coffee shop, actually. I’d totally take Alcor there. We’d talk and laugh – damn, he’s gotta just have the most heartwarming laugh in the world – and I’d straight up offer right there on the spot to be his Mizar. I wanna protect the world, but I also wanna protect him, I know he’s got a sensitive side, I just know it. I’d chew steel for him.”

No no no no. This had to stop. Mind racing, Dipper struggled to find something they’d said to latch onto. “Hey, uh, Minty!” he interrupted. “You like coffee shops, right? Halley… works in one! You should go there with her. Instead of being here.”

“That’s a great idea!” Minty squealed. “We should all meet up for coffee after the convention!”

“No!” Dipper blurted. “I meant, you two should go. Together. Without me.” All he got in return was blank stares. He ran his hand through his bangs nervously. “Listen, Minty, Alcor doesn’t work at a coffee shop, because no one in the country will hire him. His claws make awful screeching noises on the mugs, and also he’s a demon. But Halley does work at a coffee shop. Maybe… there’s something there?”

Minty and Halley traded glances. “I don’t understand,” the former finally said.

Dipper facepalmed. “Okay. How about… Halley, you want to protect Alcor. That’s ridiculous, he doesn’t need protecting, he has so much magic. But Minty goes to art school, she probably needs someone to, I dunno, support her during tight deadlines. That’s like… mental health protection.”

Minty shrugged. “I guess that sounds nice…”

“And, uh, Minty, you want someone who’s loyal, which sounds to me like what you really need is a dog, not a romantic partner, and I’m not- Alcor is not a dog. Also, again, he’s a demon, he’s only loyal to himself. But if you’re really set on getting that kind of loyalty and trust from a sentient creature, well, Halley’s offered to chew steel for love.”

“Hey man, don’t put words in my mouth, I said I’d chew steel for Alcor,” Halley countered, putting her hands on her hips and staring Dipper down. After a moment, though, she looked back at Minty, who had a starstruck look on her face, and drew back. “I- I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like you Minty. I just don’t want to be alone anymore. How can I trust someone other than Alcor not to get tired of me?”

“Kinda toxic, but also big mood,” Dipper muttered. “Trust isn’t something you can or even should have for people you don’t know. Not just for romance – in any kind of relationship, trust is something you build up through getting to know someone. I should know; there’ve been so many times when I made the mistake of trusting someone – say, not to snuggle body pillows with half naked pictures of me on them – without even knowing them, just because of my preconceived notions about who those people are. Relationships are always a risk, but they’re worth it when they work out. You’ll miss out if you’re too afraid to take that risk.”

He beamed at them, extremely proud of his little speech he’d managed to pull together. Minty and Halley stared back, mouths agape, probably blown away by his emotional maturity.

Then they launched themselves at each other and started furiously making out.

“Oh my stars!” Dipper yelled, recoiling from the mass of flailing limbs. “You literally just met each other! Go get a coffee or something first, holy shit!”

They broke apart, faces red but grinning. “Wow,” Minty breathed.

“Yeah. Wow,” Halley echoed. “Um, would you maybe want to walk around the convention with me? And maybe go get some coffee together afterward? I do work at a coffee shop nearby.”

Minty squealed again and grabbed Halley’s hands. “That sounds wonderful!”

“Yo, dude,” Halley said to Dipper, who was clutching his chest and hyperventilating. “Thanks for the advice. You’ve got some dope emotional maturity. Your friends are lucky to know you.”

Dipper, still trying to calm down, opened his mouth to make some words and only managed to emit a weak gurgle. He settled for giving them a nod.

The two of them started to walk away, but Minty paused and turned back. “Oh wait. We never got your name.”

“I’m Alcor the Dreambender,” Dipper grunted without a second’s pause. “Go away.”

Halley laughed. “Sure you are. You’re really committed to the character, I love it! Maybe we’ll see you around.”

Dipper gave them a strangled half-smile and waved them off, to which they finally made their departure. Finally alone, he collapsed onto the table out of exhaustion. He was relieved that he’d managed to turn Mabel and Henry’s souls away from being Micor shippers, but after a few minutes of lying there the reality of what he’d just done started to sink in.

“Oh stars, I just shipped my sister and her husband,” he moaned. “What is my life. Please, universe, let me get through the rest of the day without anything else happening. Please.”

Naturally, someone immediately started talking to him. “Yo, sleeping guy, wake up.”

“Whatever it is, please just use the credit card swiper and move on,” he responded.

“Dude, what swiper. Help me out.”

With a groan, Dipper picked his head up, and then he froze, his every hair standing on end like a terrified cat.

“This body pillow rocks,” Soos’s soul said, hugging one of the models that had both Alcor and Mizar on it, half naked and blushing. “You gotta hook me up.”

“Ohhhh, I have that pillow! You won’t regret it!” came another voice, and Dipper looked over to see Melody’s soul walking up to the table. “You’ve got good taste. Micor forever, am I right? Bro, there’s some really good smutfic I could recommend you if you’re interested.”

Dipper slid out of his chair and curled up into a ball under the table. “Damn you Aubrey,” he whispered. “I’ll fucking get you back for making me do this.”

(As it turned out, giving Aubrey a dream about being stuck at a convention where everyone was attracted to her did not adequately “get back” at her, and it was a full week before she stopped laughing about it.)

#fic #dipper #mabel #henry #pacifica #soos #melody #reincarnation #twin souls #mod f #Anonymous

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normal-thoughts-official · 5 years

Note

Ok hmmmm fake dating art school au with Malec, Claia, Lukemaryse and (platonic, obviously) garrowbane where hmmm magnus is with an ex at the start and tries setting up Luke with people

well this got really cracky really fast

okay so im gonna go ahead and say that i have no idea how art school works in the US so for the sake of My Convenience™ imma go with the way it is in Brazil, which is "there are numerous kinds of arts going on in the same institute/college"

so im thinking..... clary obviously is doing visual arts, painting, whatever its called (this is probably where i should warn you that i know nothing about visual arts). maia is not really an arts major, but she's doing a course on technical/scientific drawing since shes a biology major and that's useful for her field studies. magnus is on the same course, except hes like an engineering major really. im a slut for inventor Magnus so yeah he wants to be an engineer to develop new kinds of technology so technical drawing is important for him. meliorn (watch me slip meliorn in literally everything i can) is a theatre major, and Luke and Maryse r both studying music

Luke and Maryse r older and like idk how common that is in the US but here in Brazil some ppl (spec retired ppl) come back to college to study something they have Always Wanted To but that wouldnt bring them money. i know that the whole "no free college" thing makes that harder but they can be post-graduates i guess. or Luke is and maryse is a regular major but shes a super rich hotshot lawyer who after the divorce decided to be less stuck up and dedicate herself to things she enjoys, and since shes rich, she has the money to do a major or a music course just for fun

anyway! Magnus is the kind of guy whos friends with everyone from all ages and courses. he quickly becomes friends with maia (shes on his course after all) and meliorn (who is a theatre major but takes classes in everything they can because.... they can)

i just realized maia/meliorn has a LOT of brotp potential but ok anyway

magnus and maia bond greatly over their shared interests (yeah shes a biologist and hes an engineer but magnus' interests vary a lot and also hes a fan of biochemistry. they also have relatively similar life stories and a similar sense of humor, even if maia is sharper at the edges - which is something Magnus likes, really. she's fierce and fun and unafraid and he wishes he were more like her sometimes. they have a mutual admiration and kind of protection pact). meliorn on the other hand is kind of the local queer cryptid in a way, which of course means magnus immediately befriends him, and Maia is just delighted at how much of a trickster they are. magnus also likes meliorn a lot because they're so... chill and easy and unbothered by social conventions to the point of being nearly unaware, which makes Magnus feel so comfortable. and meliorn thinks Magnus is interesting, and they all get along.

maia kind of brings luke into the group. luke is kind of maia's adoptive uncle. she lives alone but once she ran away from home luke was super nice and helpful and also one of the ppl who most encouraged her to go after her major like she wanted

luke and maia are clearly close and have each other's backs, but they also tease each other a lot. so when one day luke teases maia over her crush on clary, she retaliates by looking DIRECTLY at meliorn and being like "he's just jealous. did you ppl know he hasnt been on a single date in years" and meliorn, who thrives on the chaos, is like "oooh we should set him up" and magnus of course jumps at the opportunity

so the three of them keep trying to set ppl up with luke, and it just ...... never works. like doesnt come even close to working. its kind of a disaster actually. its awkward, it never clicks, and at this point luke is begging them to stop but you know thats not gonna happen. so as a last resort, luke lies that he's dating a woman from class. cue him asking maryse, whom hes never talked to in his life but is the only eligible woman his age at class, to like, please do him a solid. and maryse is just so shocked by this random (but handsome) man's life, shes like. lmao sure. look shes a post-divorce woman she wants to be free and cease giving fucks

and maryse kind of has fun pretending to date luke, but she's a busy woman and she doesnt hang out with them often, and they are like [BANGING POTS AND PANS] WE WANT TO ACTUALLY MEET HER

and luke is all like "well maybe if all of yall singles got dates we could have a date together otherwise get out" so maia asks clary out purely out of spite and turns out it works, but Magnus and Meliorn are like "uuuuhhhhh,,,,,,," so meliorn is like "what if we pretend to be together lmao" and Magnus is like shit we're gonna do that aren't we

i know its not exactly Magnus having an ex but look im struggling to put all of this together okay udhdhdbd also im not big on the whole "breaking up because of someone else" trope ya feel

god this is just the setup for malec to meet, im,,,, a mess

so anyway Magnus and Meliorn are determined to totally sell this to luke (maia knows its a scam of course, she can smell bullshit from miles away). and luke and maryse are also totally determined to sell this cuz everyone is an idiot. so they keep having, like,,,,, dates together, until eventually they kind of become a solid group of friends. they all welcome maryse and are really impressed by how critical she is of her pre-divorce self and how it did wonders for her, they think shes really strong. she even shares about how she struggled with her son being gay and her daughter deciding to become a forensic pathologist instead of a lawyer like her, you know. in short they all become good friends

so now everyone (but maia and clary who are happy and drama free and laughing their butts off at Magnus and Meliorn) is in a difficult situation because now theyre all friends! what are they gonna do, confess it was a scam all along? pretend to break up and make the whole thing awkward? they're trapped in their fake dating and it looks like they're just gonna have to, like ... deal with it

and in luke and maryse's situation it's even more complicated because they are kind of getting into each other, and theyre like groaning because theyre grown ass adults they shouldn't be living this trope. and yet

anyway as they become closer they start going to maryse's (shes the only one with a large enough place) and that's when Magnus meets Alec and meliorn meets izzy

which,,,,, despair

because they had been doing a great job of fake dating so far, excuse you, they are partners in crime. they're a well oiled lying machine and they work together flawlessly. magnus is not even a good liar but shit if meliorn didnt teach him every trick on how to not technically lie, and also they are very close and the kind of ppl who are comfortable with sharing affection, so yeah they drape their arms on each others shoulders and hold hands and kiss each others cheeks NO PROBLEM but now theyre both interested in someone else

hell, theyre both interested in maryse's kids

fuck

shit

goddamn

meliorn is all like "i told you we should have pretended to have an open relationship" and Magnus is like luke KNOWS im monogamous he would KNOW we're lying and meliorn is like FUCK and maia and clary are losing their shits

meanwhile luke and maryse are becoming more and more domestic and oblivious to the world. they will b like "you kids put the movie on, we'll make dinner" and be all like fluffy asshole

izzy quickly picks up that its a scheme cuz shes smart, and flirts with meliorn when maryse isnt around, while Alec is like SHIT dude i cant believe ur into a TAKEN MAN what the fuck kind of sad gay stereotype r u

but their pull is like,,, stronk and they frequently find themselves getting lost in their own little world and lowkey flirting and just being a liiiiil too close (especially in alecs case since hes like ..... stoic extraordinaire) and then theyre like AH SHIT WAIT and they jump and pretend nothings happening

and look, izzy would tell Alec about the scam, but she's, como se dice...... having way too much fun at his expense. she and meliorn start dating on like day 1 and make a pact to see how long they can keep the act up and enjoy the show

maia and clary have eaten their combined weight in popcorn by this point

the intrigue. the chaos. the misunderstandings

it gets more and more ridiculous as time goes by but Magnus is still determined to yknow keep the act up and not expose his and meliorn's lies

they just,,,,,,, live like this

it lasts for so long

like ..... months of ridiculousness

and alec is suffering because hes into a taken man whos obviously very in love with his partner and he feels guilty and all of that shit

and magnus just.... doesnt know what to do with his predicament. look he has anxiety this was a bad idea how is he gonna walk up to Alec and b like "hey so I'm not really dating meliorn it was all a scam so we could spy on luke and ur mom but it went too far" and the more time passes the more awkward it gets

the dam probably breaks when magnus finds meliorn and izzy on a date on accident, and hes like rjrhrjrjdnc SO THEY KNOW???? and meliorn is like nah only izzy knows we wanted to see how long itd take for u and alec to get ur shit together. and magnus is like oh my god and meliorn is like "in my defense i didnt think it would take literal months!!!!!! and then it started to feel awkward to just tell you to go for it"

so magnus is like FINE i guess i will TELL ALEC and ask him if he wants to DATE ME IN SECRET so we can keep NOT HAVING TO CONFESS WE LIED TO HIS MOM

and then i guess he tells Alec???? and he still isnt sure whether or not Alec likes him so he isnt planning to ask him out immediately afterwards, just, you know, let him in on the secret, and Alec is like "dude my mom is lying too" and Magnus is like what she and luke are like married

anyway knowing about that gives them full permission to come out as lying bitches so they're like "how dare you lie to us like this.. but also we did the same thing"

eventually luke actually asks maryse out

i dont even know whats happening anymore god im done

this is your fault anon

if anyone wants to actually write this, feel free rjrhdjdn honestly id read it

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unproduciblesmackdown · 5 years

Note

Thoughts on Evan's feelings for Jared? I always see people talking about Jared's feelings towards Evan (for obvious reasons), but the mood around Evan is a lot quieter.

really i think part of the reason it’s much more difficult to talk about evan’s feelings about jared in a potentially em ell em sense is because like, canon gives us such a small piece of their relationship and is so vague about the entire Past Decade+ They’ve Known Each Other, and evan’s really not acting very consciously interested in jared in the duration even as Only Friends (haha…it works in two ways there b/c ppl say things like “*just* friends” but also b/c evan and jared are each other’s Only Friend…) and he’s immediately caught up in The Whole Mess before jared’s second appearance so

but also another big issue is that we’re given this whole opportunity to see how evan navigates his Romantic Feelings for someone via his crush and eventual dating relationship with zoe and yet………………………….it gives us hardly any information. it’s very weird

like? okay, so evan is pining from a distance on this girl, and since it’s only the first day of school and he’s talking about messing up a chance to talk to her after a jazz band performance, presumably the crush started in evan’s junior year or earlier………….and Pining From Afar On Someone He’s Never Had A Conversation With isn’t really useful to reference when it comes to his relationship with jared. and maybe the details of Why evan is crushing on zoe in particular potentially could’ve been handy in like, getting a concept of what attracts evan to someone, but like, i guess we get the idea that he’s picking up on her Seeming Nice (which……like, is partly an act? it’s partly an act for him too, so is he picking up on That similarity? that could be interesting but rather it seems like he just….likes that she’s nice, which, okay…) and “if i could tell her”? more like “if [this song] could tell [the audience anything about Why Evan Likes Zoe]” because that’s purportedly what it’s About but it honestly gives us no info. it just lists off unimportant details he’s noticed about her from Afar that can’t necessarily tell anyone that much about what she’s like as a person…..she doodles when bored….probably takes buzzfeed quizzes…..okay

and then when they’re together it continues to be an absolute mystery. even if we ignore all the lying and weirdness re: how it’s all tied up in tcp and connor, and try to focus on What Works to figure out what these two might be looking for in the relationship and what they’re responding to, it’s like, infinite ellipses……they’re seriously always uncomfortable around each other?? like?? once again “only us” pointedly refuses to tell us, say, why zoe likes evan. they Joke Around in that scene and that’s like okay haha bants i guess that’s good, but it seems to be about warding off the tension so………the omnipresent Discomfort……….like can they have a substantial conversation?? imo the moment between them that might like, give us Anything to work with is when evan is accidentally “”””rude”””” in rightly pointing out that zoe seeming to imply that evan wishing his mom was rich rather than poor Stems From Ignorance is a terrible take……and then zoe says she was impressed by his ostensible Not Being Niceness, and yknow, the whole part of the show where she’s getting to be angry and ~rude~ and not getting along with evan is like, most interesting re: her character b/c she’s just refusing to Lie. inchresting moment!!!!! maybe evan and zoe could bond over feeling obligated to Act Nice / Accommodating despite doing so for different reasons!!! but no. the moment just Goes Away instead

we really just….in spite of how much Content in canon is devoted to evan’s feelings about zoe and their relationship, we get like………..no info about why evan likes zoe. she is a girl who is nice? and that’s all we’ve got. cue jared’s off broadway (?) line of: we get it, it’s very heterosexual…….fittingly in response to evan Not Really Answering the question of why he’s so #about zoe………

liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike my takeaway from these (non)examples of Evan’s Romantic Feelings is…………that evan is pretty freaking clueless about his own feelings? and is hardly deeply analyzing even this nice safe crush on a girl so like. if he Does have latent feelings for jared at that point, i really do not think he is Conscious of them or of their True Nature.

that’s not to say i don’t think it’s possible that he Could have those latent feelings in canon. even though evan ignoring jared is a whole part of the plot / leads up to good for you, and that evan’s dissatisfaction with his and jared’s relationship is like, suggested right off b/c nobody’s signing his cast, when they Do get in sync (literally!! lol! they’re Singing!) in sincerely me it’s very effortless and we see The One Time that evan drops his “gotta be nice and accommodating” facade b/c he’s with jared and nobody else, and the way they interact here (and at other points) speaks to how comfortably familiar they feel with each other and how they’re pretty In Tune with each other. and the sincerely me scene makes jared want more of that experience of being alone together and having fun and being in sync, but evan isn’t pursuing jared at all unless to ask for input about His Zany Situation………see: evan’s cluelessness and Not Really Reflecting On Feelings

like, jared may or may not realize that his feelings for evan are Like That, but we know that it is whole entire Canon that he is conscious of his desire to have a close and real relationship with evan. whereas evan is like, seemingly not tuned into this fact about jared at all

like baaaasically unless it’s an au i don’t think of evan as becoming Aware of any Feelings™ for jared until after canon (or sometime before the Finale 1.5 Yrs Later scene, possibly)………..like, i think those feelings Could be present in canon and could even be affecting events in canon, which is a fun (i mean nothing about canon is particularly Fun) perspective to take, but i don’t think evan like, is going to think about feelings like that in even a “is it Possible it’s a crush” way in canon

but like, mutual pining is great, and even if we have these two Trying to work on communication skills, you Know that even if they’re both at stage Awareness Of Crush, neither is just going to up and talk to the other about it. smh

re: what Could be there in canon that evan’s not yet aware of……i mean, he’s all about Longing for shit, and we can assume he maybe wishes he and jared were closer too, but unlike jared actually trying to make that happen, it kinda feels more like evan just figures that that’s Just Not How Things Are and there’s nothing he can do about that………i also just kinda feel like evan could be at a stage where if there’s even a glimmer of awareness re: A Gay Feeling it’s like oh denial time, what if i were to decide i’m even more committed to this crush on a conveniently Unattainable™ Girl who……seems nice……..yeah awesome

like i really don’t think that Feelings For Jared would truly spring out of nowhere for evan as in “the feelings are nonexistent during canon”…..but it might Seem like it’s ~totally new~ re: a changed perspective when it comes to those feelings, b/c i don’t think of evan-during-canon as aware of that kind of thing or really devoting much thought on it. being an apparent great essayist means that not only must his writing be decent but his Ability To Analyze things must be, too!! let’s have some parallels of jared reading evan’s letter, as it’s all too easy to think he must have, and evan reading jared’s letters, i.e. Fake Connor’s emails to evan. analyze That content evan

anyways yeah i just think of Evan During Canon as totally unawares but i do think that if he Was to reflect on how he feels about jared, which we don’t really see him doing in any significant way thanks in part to being distracted the whole time, it’s entirely possibly there could’ve already been mutual pining lol. like, it’s not that i don’t think The Feelings Could Be There, cuz really, it feels like if there WAS that awareness that yeah we could really be making progress here. but i also think that like, evan needs to shift his broader perspective of jared as well to get to the point that that’s possible. cuz he’s just kind of not seeing ways the relationship could be different than it is and i think that like, the lack of communication, e.g. not directly saying what they want / not talking for stretches of time potentially ((another) e.g. how they apparently hadn’t talked all summer) also plays into Miscommunication……..like, i do think that jared is trying to express friendliness and affection, but evan is just like “Sigh!!! 9_9″ about him and like, focusing on the lack of what he considers Real Connection Ideal Friendship things, like apparently that Open Direct Communication about feelings and dreams and stuff, and frolicking in meadows, and emailing

speaking of, evan nervously refuting any possibility of Being Gay twice in four minutes does not suggest he’s someone ready to think about the love that one man feels for another or anything

and it’s all in line with how jared’s pretty much seeing evan more accurately than evan sees himself, being the Teller Of Truth, the stand-in for The All-Seeing Audience……………..jared’s the more Aware one here, both about evan And himself And everything else that’s going on. he may not have an objective or omniscient perspective on anything, and he’s obviously making mistakes in how he understands things about himself and evan and everything else, but evan’s kind of just careening around knocking shit over and just struggling to keep up rather than really think things over…….and also it’s clear that he’s Avoiding thinking some stuff over thanks to messiness and uncertainty and all that

uhhh in conclusion………………i think evan’s feelings for jared During The Events Of Canon would be repressed and unexamined and he’s just like, put everything in his life in this box of “i hate it” and so he not only has to be willing to really redirect some focus to jared but also like………..really consider him anew and maybe see the good in what’s already existed in their relationship rather than just see how it fails to measure up to what evan Thought was proof of friendship (signing a cast) or the ideal best frienditude (straightforward encouragement, personal lore-sharing, frolicking, etc). basically Stop Ignoring him, which is what would’ve made jared happy in the first place lol. so yeah something like all that

#s/o to this person going around asking about Evan's Feelings Re Jared #we Love that. really getting random asks abt kleinsen and related stuff is beautiful #deh #kleinsen #Anonymous

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seungcheolsbodyharness · 5 years

Text

heart shaped: II

wc: 3.2k

summary: you and jihoon discuss relationships - not just the fake one between the two of you, but those of your past, and find out you have more in common than you might have thought. you have your first “date” at jihoon’s carnival, where soyoung and woomin tag along.

genre: fake dating, fluff, minor angst

part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4 || part 5 || finale (in progress)

“so, i think we should talk about boundaries.”

you’re sitting in a cafe with jihoon a few days later, the day before his christmas festival. he looks up at you over the rim of his cup, eyebrows raised, nodding slightly for you to continue.

“so, how do you feel about physical affection? obviously since we’re only ‘newly dating’, i doubt anyone with any sense will ask us to kiss. but stuff like, you know, holding hands, hugging - are you okay with that?” you break off a piece of the cookie you’d bought and chew slowly, waiting for his response.

“ah, well, i guess if we have to?” he shrugs and scratches at the back of his head, ears red.

he’s cute when he’s nervous, you think.

“well, only when we’re out where people we know could see us, you know what i mean? i’m not saying that if we like, decide to hang out just you and i, we have to hold hands and cuddle and all that. i mean…” you trail off, tracing the rim of your mug with the tip of your finger. jihoon watches the movement, then looks up and sees the crumbs gathered under your bottom lip.

without thinking, he moves forward and wipes them off. it startles you, only for a second, but it’s enough to have him quickly retracting his hand and looking desperately away from you. “sorry.” he mumbles, cheeks red.

“no, no jihoon, don’t be, that was very...very boyfriend-like. i guess what i was going to say is that whether people believe us or not will be based on what they know about our past relationships.”

jihoon raises an eyebrow, “how so?”

“well, like, my last boyfriend and i were super touchy; always holding hands, hugging, or just, yknow, touching each other somehow. we also used a lot of pet names, but that was mostly his thing, so soyoung won’t get weird if we don’t do that. what about you?”

jihoon runs his fingers through his hair and sighs. “well, my last girlfriend was pretty clingy, but like, in the sense that she used to like practically hang off of me every chance she got, so i’m okay with like, casual touching i guess. and i uh,” jihoon looks down at his hands, interest suddenly drawn by something under his nails. “i liked calling her baby.”

“oh, that’s cute!” you laugh. “so we’re all good when it comes to that then. i think we should probably go out together at least once a week, and then post cute couple things on insta, that way people aren’t like ‘wow, are you guys really dating? what was your last date?’, that kind of thing.”

“you seem to know an awful lot about fooling people into thinking you’re in a relationship.”

you know he doesn’t mean it with any sort of malice. you know this, that it’s just a quip, but it doesn’t keep the clenching pain from your chest as you frown, just a small one, and shrug. “well, you get pretty good at it when you have to convince yourself, too.” you take a deep breath, and you smile to show jihoon that you’re fine. his horrified expression doesn’t fade, though and you reach out to take his hand. “it’s okay, jihoon. you didn’t know.”

“when my girlfriend broke up with me,” he blurts, hoping to trade your discomfort for his own, “she told me it was because she didn’t love me anymore.” he takes a deep breath of his own and then continues. “i didn’t find out until later that she’d been cheating on me. when - when she’d broken up with me i had asked if there was someone else, and she’d lied, and told me there wasn’t. so.”

your heart breaks a little, hearing this. “how - how did you find out?”

he closes his eyes for a moment, clenches them shut and you almost tell him to nevermind, you don’t need to know. he opens them again and he looks tired. “after it all happened, i stopped following her on social media, unfriended her and everything so i wouldn’t have to see if and when she got into a new relationship. then, a month or so after, she posted a picture of her and that guy on some romantic fucking outing, and captioned it ‘happy six months, baby’. mutual friends of ours commented on it calling her out and someone sent me a screenshot of it because i guess they thought i should know. six months. she’d been seeing him for five months before she decided she should get rid of me.”

correction: your heart shatters for jihoon.

“i’m so, so sorry to hear that jihoon.” you reach out your other hand so that you’re holding both of his, interlocking your fingers. “i may be your fake girlfriend, but i promise i’ll treat you well.”

he smiles, softly, and nods. “i may be your fake boyfriend, but at least i won’t make you second-guess the way you feel.”

you smile. everything is going to be fine.

it takes about an hour of desperate reasoning with soyoung over the phone before she forgives you for not telling her about your new ‘relationship’ with jihoon. she eventually relents that it would, in fact, have been easier to deal with if it hadn’t worked out. you would have been able to brush it all off as you not even realizing the whole thing was a set up in the first place.

“so, i did good this time, right? i finally set you up with someone you like~” soyoung sing songs to you over the speaker. you’re glad she isn’t there to see you roll your eyes.

“oh yeah soyoung, this is really going to up your success rate. one good guy out of like, fifteen.” you scroll through instagram as soyoung laughs, pleased to see how many people have left sweet comments on your photo of jihoon, as well as the one you’d posted afterwards of your hand intertwined with his.

“you know i just want you to be happy. after everything he put you through, i just want you to be happy like you used to be. that’s all.” the change in soyoung’s tone is overlayed with worry and concern, and you sigh. “so, you’re going to the festival with him right? he invited me and woomin so it’ll be like a cute double date! and i can make sure he’s treating you how he should.”

you laugh, now, the idea of small, bubbly soyoung intimidating anyone is something you’re dying to see. “yeah, i’m gonna be there. i helped him bake those cookies, i wanna see if they’re neighborhood-mom approved.”

soyoung giggles. “oh, i’m sure they will be. i’ll see you there, then?”

“you bet.”

jihoon picks you up promptly, right at two, just as he said he would. you’re not quite ready, so you invite him in to sit for a while as he waits.

“sorry about this.” you call from your bathroom, putting the finishing touches to your makeup and moving to the bed to lace and tie your boots.

“no, no it’s fine.” jihoon answers from your kitchen, smiling softly at you as you make your way out to him. “you look nice.”

you grin at him, bright and wide, doing a little curtsy that makes you both giggle. “thank you. you’re not half-bad yourself.”

jihoon’s giggles turn into a cough and his face flushes, and you run towards him, quickly grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and pressing it into his hands. he drinks it greedily and waves off your concern. “s-sorry. some air went down the wrong pipe, or something.”

you let out a relieved little huff. “i’m just glad you’re okay. should we go?”

jihoon nods and leads you out to his car. the two of you spend the ride in what you think is comfortable silence until jihoon mumbles, “do you mind if i put on some music?”

“oh, damn, of course jihoon! it’s your car, after all. driver picks the music and all that.” you lean over the console to pat his thigh and smile at him, pulling back your arm. “go ahead and play something.”

jihoon hands you his phone, unlocked, and instructs you on how to connect the phone to the bluetooth so he can focus on driving. he then directs you to the playlist he wants, and says that just anything is fine. the car fills with soft piano music that fades into strings and then, surprisingly, the beat drops into something more….techno.

you bop your head along to the beat, and jihoon smirks. “do you like it?”

“yeah! it’s different. it’s cool.” you notice that jihoon is tapping the steering wheel to the beat as he drives, and the two of you continue to listen as jihoon drives the rest of the way to the carnival. he parks in what you assume is his neighborhood ballpark, and as you get out of the car you can hear christmas carols blaring from somewhere up ahead.

jihoon comes around the front of the car to meet you. “ready?” he asks. he scratches his cheek with a mitten-clad finger, pulling his hat down farther around his ears.

you nod and stick out your hand, waiting for him to take it. he looks down at it and blinks, almost as if he’s forgotten entirely that he’d have to do this. you push your hand at him again, this time with emphasis, and he laughs as he takes it into his own.

the two of you walk towards the festival, where there are numerous different booths set up around the perimeter of a baseball field, with the center occupied by a small stage and seating.

“so….” jihoon squeezes your hand. “are you hungry, or do you wanna play some games, first?”

you clutch at your chest with your free hand, gasping. “are you gonna win me a prize, jihoon? the biggest stuffed animal in the whole place?”

he bites his lip to stifle his laughter and then nods. “if that’s what you want, then sure.” he hesitates for a second before adding, “baby.”

something in your stomach does a happy little flip when he says that, and you swing your joined hands between you as he leads you over to one of the numerous game booths. there, swinging from the top of the prizes is a huge stuffed fish.

“jihoon.” you gasp, this time genuinely. “jihoon i have to have that fish.” his gaze follows the direction your finger leads to, and he laughs.

“okay, baby. you got it.”

jihoon wins you the fish. he also wins you an equally large stuffed heart, numerous smaller animals, and a giftcard to one of the nicer steakhouses downtown. by the time woomin and soyoung arrive, you’ve picked a favorite of the stuffed prizes and already helped jihoon place the rest in his car.

being with jihoon is easy, you notice. it’s nice. knowing it isn’t real makes everything so much easier. it makes it natural.

so natural, apparently, that soyoung spends barely any time grilling jihoon about his intentions. maybe she trusts him more because he’s family, being woomin’s cousin; maybe it’s because they’ve met a few times already and soyoung is already familiar with him.

whatever the reason is, you’re grateful she doesn’t pry.

“so.” soyoung asks as the four of you walk slowly around the festival, “what’s going on in the center, there? with the stage?”

“uh, a couple things, actually. there was a couple different groups doing carols and other christmas songs, there was a silent auction this morning, and tonight is a uh. a talent show.” jihoon scratches the back of his head and you look up at him.

“you gonna be in it, hoon?” woomin asks around a mouthful of dumpling. soyoung smacks him lightly on the arm, giggling when he goes “what?”

“uh, yeah, actually. i have this new piece i’ve been working on so i figured i’d give it a shot here before i take it to anyone at work.”

woomin nods and you squeeze jihoon’s arm. he looks at you and smiles sheepishly. “you didn’t tell me that.” you say quietly.

jihoon shrugs. “i would have, eventually. we still have an hour before it starts anyway.”

you nod, appeased, and lay your head on his shoulder. the four of you huddle around one of the heaters dotting the grounds and you watch as woomin and soyoung flirt and tease each other, constantly giggling and exchanging kisses.

“baby.” jihoon whispers, “there’s something i wanted to show you.”

you turn to him, surprised, but you nod and wave goodbye for the time being to your friends.

jihoon leads you back towards the cocoa stand and orders two cups, handing one to you. you sip at it slowly, relishing the heat, but still you wonder what jihoon wanted to show you. he takes your hand again, and leads you into one of the empty dugouts, gesturing for you to sit.

“does it make you uncomfortable?” he asks, swallowing a sip of his drink. “i know you must be happy for soyoung, but it must be hard seeing them happy when your own happiness got...ripped away.”

your eyes go wide and you chew your lip before you nod. “it’s not as bad as it used to be though. when him and i first broke up, soyoung wouldn’t let woomin anywhere near me because she was worried seeing her with him would just make me more upset.” you kick at a small pile of snow and sigh. “and i mean, she was right. i was so bitter in the beginning. it’s easier now, i guess, but it’s still…”

“it can be a lot.” jihoon supplies. “i get it.”

you nod, saying nothing. jihoon, just as wordlessly, reaches out for your hand. you lean your head onto his shoulder again and the two of you sit quietly together until jihoon checks the time and tells you that it’s time to go.

much like the talent shows of your childhood, not all of the participants are truly talented, but that’s what makes it fun. interspersed with people who are very good - the magic show is very impressive, actually - but you’re mostly excited to see jihoon. you’re not surprised when the mc announces him as the final act of the night, and you clutch the small stuffed microphone he'd won for you tightly in anticipation. jihoon comes onto the stage and immediately commands attention. he’s changed clothes, and it almost looks like he has makeup on, now. he’s stunning, you think.

and then he settles himself at the piano and begins to sing, and you’re stunned yourself. jihoon’s voice is beautiful, ethereal, and you’re blown away. the melody is soft and sweet, melancholic, and your heart aches. the words are moving and emotional and a little desperate, and your eyes sting with tears against the cold winter air.

he comes back to your small group later, changed back to his clothes from earlier and carrying a few small, plastic parcels in his hands. he hands one to each of you and keeps one for himself, and chuckles nervously. “so. how was it?”

woomin and soyoung give him earnest praise and then he turns to you, sees that your eyes are still wet, and he chuckles again, a very nervous “ha….ha...that bad, huh?”

you shake your head at him and pull him into your arms, wrapping them around his neck and holding tight. “that was beautiful.” you whisper, throat heavy with the threat of tears. “absolutely incredible, jihoon.”

he nods slowly as his arms finally react to your embrace and wrap around your waist. “thank you.” he whispers back. you pull away from him and wipe at your eyes, and his hand reaches out to wipe the trails from your cheeks, a smile on his face.

soyoung and woomin bid the two of you goodnight, and once they’ve gone you turn to jihoon. “how about dinner somewhere indoors?”

he groans and throws his head back, making you laugh. “you have no idea how badly i want that. how does pizza sound?”

“heavenly.”

jihoon takes you to the pizza place he likes to go to after work, a small place nestled among coffee shops and fashion stores. it smells incredible, and better yet is how warm it is, both of you shedding layers as you settle into the booth.

you’re both quiet as you eat, savoring both the warmth of the food and that of the restaurant.

“so.” you say as you reach for another slice. “i think today went well.”

jihoon hums, mouth full. he swallows and sips at his coffee before he responds. “i think so too. they both seem pretty convinced.”

you nod. “yeah, but we can’t call it off yet.” you’re about to continue but jihoon sputters something about how he hadn’t been thinking that, and you laugh. “it’s alright, jihoon. i was just kinda...thinking out loud. i think after new years, maybe? sometime after that. then people will feel like we really ‘gave it our best’ and won’t hound us too much.”

“that sounds good.” jihoon nods, though he’s not really paying attention.

“or maybe that’s too soon. the end of january would put as at about a month, but if we go longer, then valentine’s day will come into play. i mean, i dunno, i guess having someone to fake-date for valentine’s would be nice.” you trail off and take a bite of your pizza. when you look up, you notice jihoon staring at you, eyes soft. you raise your eyebrows at him, and he’s so surprised at having been caught that he chokes, seemingly on nothing.

“i - i um - we can do this as long as you think is necessary, i guess?” he takes a sip from his water, takes a deep breath, and continues. “i’m not exactly beating them off with a stick, so to speak.”

you hum, playing with a napkin. “i’ll keep that in mind, i guess. do you have plans for new years?”

jihoon shakes his head. “not yet, i assumed woomin and soyoung would be doing a thing again and i’d go to that. unless you wanted to do something?”

“no,” you wave him off, “i had the same idea, actually. besides, it’ll be good for us to go out together, you know? ‘couple style’.” he laughs at your air quotes and you laugh too. you like being with jihoon. it feels comfortable.

he drives you home and without thinking, you take his hand. if he seems startled, you miss it, focused instead on picking something from his playlist. he watches you fondly from the corner of his eye, one finger tapping rhythmically against the steering wheel.

he walks you to your door, where you thank him and hug him goodbye.

jihoon walks back to his car, drives home, and sits down on his bed, head in hands. he wonders what you would have done if he’d kissed you.

he shakes the thought from his head, and tries to sleep.

tries.

#lee jihoon #seventeen #seventeen woozi #svt woozi #seventeen imagines #woozi imagines #seventeen fluff #woozi fluff #seventeen scenarios #lemon drop

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ocean-butch · 6 years

Note

How is cas different from ur other girlfriends

akcjwjxia i had to wait like SIX HOURS to answer this bc of a goddamn test i had bUT OH BOY ANON AM I GONNA LOVE DOING IT alfjadjsk i just love talking about my gf i love her so much i wanna gush about her 25/8

the short answer would be basically in every way bUt imma do it part by part.

okay so, in a simplified version i’ve had relationships with people whose personalities worked well with me but who were shitty girlfriends or a good girlfriend who just didnt really fit with my personality. i’ve actually given that so much thought even before i met cass, but the point is that i met her and she was just perfect for me in both ways (technically its more complicated bc theres a bunch of logic into this that im not explaining bc my mind is weird and it would be Way too long but anyways). but ok let get into How she fits me perfectly.

first of all literally no one ever in my entire life has made me laugh as easily and genuinely as she does. im not even exaggerating, like laughing was never really A Thing for me to look for in girls bc it just never happened???? like i had fun conversations and stuff but there was never anyone that made me go “holy shit i have never laughed this much with anyone else” and we have So many inside jokes, which is a thing that i almost never have????? and i always used to wish i did bc everyone would talk about it and i’d feel like i just wasnt funny and That was the problem. and also this is really important bc its one of the things that made me realize that i liked (and eventually, came to love) her. bUT its not the only one so theres also like all these things that we like and we can talk about for HOURS like i remember when i watched infinity war and the first thing i did when i got home was call her and we talked about it for like 2 hours idek but it was great. the point is, we have a bunch of shared interests (which isnt like 100% necessary but its still really nice), wHICH LEADS ME TO: her music taste is amazing and i love that so much bc i love music With My Entire Soul and its the best thing in the fucking world (after cass & my friends and tied with the ocean) but yeah thats great too. AND i think more importantly than the last 2 things is that she is literally so fucking easy to talk to. like ever since the beginning we didnt really have that awkward phase where we run out of things to talk about and the conversation keeps dying like we never had that it just flowed so well and that was such a good feeling. another thing is also how comfortable i feel talking to her.

like i have never felt this way with any of my girlfriends bc i was always scared that i was gonna be annoying or say something Wrong and they’d start to realize i sucked and then break up with me, but shes just so kind and idk she just has this way about her that makes me feel at home and its always been there like i dont believe in love at first sight or anything like that but i swear to god the day after i met her i already felt like i could tell her anything and that was such a comforting thing and i needed that so badly at the time. i dont feel like i was able to describe this aspect very well tbh like im not doing it justice. like, she makes me feel like im not annoying at all, and like i could just randomly start ranting about anything and she would be like super invested in it, and just literally so comfortable in every sense of the word. she is my home, no ifs ands or buts, i just feel it every single time that we talk or that i simply think about her, and i have never felt this so clearly with anyone. and i think this comfort i feel with her is kinda connected with how she has always made me felt so appreciated, in a way that no one has ever done. like, i had like 2 tags about my wants and needs in a relationship, there was “my dream girl” to remind me that i shouldnt settle for anyone after i got out of a rlly bad relationship, and there was “things i wish someone would tell me” after my “first” relationship (i dont really count it bc Officially™ we only dated for a week) because my gf at the time would almost never be affectionate with me and it made me really insecure so i started that tag as a way to vent kinda. anyways my point is that i made those tags bc i would always feel super anxious in my relationships bc i never really felt loved or even wanted (aka the good personalities awful gfs relationships) i just felt like a burden and it was such a big thing for me.

okay now i’ll say that there Kinda was an exception to this before cass, because it would be unfair to say that that relationship was detrimental to my mental health, but it was still different. like, that ex did make me feel wanted most times, but not only did i still have A Lot of insecurities about the whole thing bc of some things she would say and do or not say and not do and i’d get like super uncomfortable or just sad really but also bc whenever the conversation would start to die out i was Absolutely Certain that she was gonna break up with me. it was pretty bad im not even joking. and like ofc my anxiety isnt her fault OR responsibility and like sure i still get anxious about cass sometimes but its not like that its basically just when she doesnt answer for a long time i think that something bad might have happened but even when my rude ass brain does try to tell me that she doesnt love me i KNOW that its not true, and that is a kind of peace that i have never ever had before. but anyways, so that was the good gf whose personality didnt fit mine and its weird now bc that is so obvious but i really didnt wanna believe it at the time even though i knew it wasnt gonna work out, but now its just really weird ngl (but i wont get into the why).

and now cass. wow okay let me tell you about cass. she is perfection. she is literally everything i have ever wanted AND things i didnt even know i wanted. she is everything no one else ever was and i just remembered that when we started dating in may i said that exact same sentence to abby. its just so true, she really is everything that no one else could be. because theyre not her. i’ve said this a lot of times but i really dont see how i could ever love anyone else after loving her, it just doesnt make sense to me because she really is like,, as good as it gets. there is no one better than her for me. we’re literally meant to be i s2g like when we broke up for a while i would tell everyone i wasnt really trying to move on at all bc i just hoped she would come back to me and i couldnt miss that chance. i knew she was my soulmate, although at some points i lost almost all hope (but never all) and i started thinking that maybe she was the love of my life but i wasnt the love of hers. and thats bc she really is everything ive ever dreamed of like she has all these little things that she does or say that sometimes wouldnt even mean anything to other people but to me they are So important bc theyre things ive dreamed about while my ex girlfriends ignored me akcjsjxn like, i was talking about how comfortable she feels to me and a big part of that comes from little things like the fact that even when we were just friends she would spam me when i was gone for a long time and that not only made me feel missed and appreciated but also it meant i could do that to her and it wouldnt be annoying bc she felt the same!! like, she missed me too! and me knowing that she actually Wanted to talk to me and the fact that she actually showed me she cared was super great when we started dating bc it made me feel like if i was feeling sad or insecure, i could literally just ask her to be a little more affectionate and it wouldnt feel fake bc i actually knew she cared. and you have No idea how much that meant to me bc i literally didnt know it was possible for me to feel that way. like honestly i thought it was an innate aspect of who i am that like if i asked for affection it would be meaningless? bc i’d be lowkey forcing the person to say something? but with her it felt different bc we had enough intimacy for me to feel comfortable enough to do that.

HOWEVER i never actually Had to do that bc i got insecure exactly once (1) on the first night we started dating back in may bc i didnt know how much she liked me and i was like in love with her so i thought she would think i was too much and then i told her i was sad and that i was gonna sleep and the next day when i woke up she said something along the lines of “how are you babe bc i remember you said you were sad last night and i couldnt stop thinking about it bc i want you to feel good all the time” and thats something so small but wow it just meant so much to me bc i would cry and beg any fucking force in the universe to make my last ex do Anything At All to try to make me Not Sad and it would be awful and i would feel so so unloved and then cass just said that and something clicked in me and i never doubted her feelings to an actual Meaningful extent while we’ve been together anymore (like ofc i get insecure sometimes and especially when we broke up, but while we have been dating ive never gotten like actually Sad™ specifically bc i wasnt sure she liked me) but it gets even better because some of the things she does are so so special that i never even imagined them like shes literally unreal, i literally never thought someone like her existed and its just so wild to me that i get to be with her.

and i know im saying a bunch of cliches but i mean it all so much like i remember when i was dating one of my exes i was learning her first language but she didnt try to learn mine and i really wished she would bc i just always loved the idea that someone would do that for me?? (and she was like the good gf so yknow,, just how that relationship literally did Not even compare to cass) and guess what yes cass is learning portuguese and its the cutest thing ever btw bUt the point is she does all the little things ive ever wanted in a partner (i literally have a post with a list of things i appreciate in a partner and she does all of them!! well, the ones that arent like irl or smth) also i literally have a draft in this blog that is a list of cute things cass has done/said that means a lot to me personally but i didnt post it yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and like theres just so so many things that i havent talked about, like how im not even sure if i was ever in love with anyone of them anymore because what i feel for cass is just so different and so much more, or like how cass actually makes me want to try to get better, which ive never actually wanted before bc it always seemed to scary, like she literally makes me wanna be not only alive but also happy bc she makes me feel like i deserve it. she has been such a good influence on me and my mental health and thats so important and its the first time someone has been this good for me.

but anyways the point is that cass is right for me in every single way like she really is my other half she literally just is everything that she is and thats how shes different from my ex girlfriends.

#according to my girlfriend i spent over 2 hours writing this #AltHouGh #she DID distract me a few times bc she was being cute #and i love her #wow i love her #i know anon is definitely not gonna read this but my girl will alhajska #mine #answered #anon #luna

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lilia-mayy · 3 years

Text

TW: mentions of suic!de, ED, mental illnesses

a couple of weeks ago i laid in my moms arms crying and told her that i wanted to die.

yeah.

it wasn’t just because of my “friends” - ive had my fair share of unrelated mental health struggles, too. i’ve had diagnosed clinical depression since 7th grade, severe seasonal affective disorder (literally who named it S.A.D. why couldn’t have u called it seasonal depressive disorder), general anxiety disorder, ADHD (without hyperactivity, previously called ADD), panic disorder, anorexia nerviosa, and i have dealt with psychosis. lol yeah there’s quite the list there - and all of it is genetic. well, ok, events in my life and my upbringing have definitely brought them to the forefront at certain times, caused them to start, cause me to relapse, etc. my eating disorder is an exception because it was caused by my mom’s own toxic views towards food that she unknowingly and accidentally pushed onto me. i’ve recovered now and have learned to have a much healthier relationship with food - and have realized just how much my mom’s personal issues were projected onto me as a kid. if i’m sure my upbringing also had a major role in my anxiety disorder - my mom can also be a very anxious and overwhelming person. All in all, the disorders i have are also just coded in my DNA but external factors also played a role.

anyway, i digress about my family issues - imma do a whole post for that. i’m medicated for my anxiety/panic disorder so i haven’t had issues with that in a while, so what really has been affecting me recently is the depression and seasonal depression combo. it sucks ass. like winter is just such an ass time. not having daylight and being cold as shit constantly doesn’t encourage wanting to live and with the depression on top of it man i never stood a mf chance. my recent suicidal-ness was a combination of a mean-girl-induced identity crisis and personal mental health struggles. i mentioned in my last post that i now hate the person i was when i was friends with them. ok, yknow what imma give them some fake names cause being vague is just so unnatural. let’s call the 2 main offenders Diane & Ally. Not sure why those names came to mind but imma just roll with it.

The person i became with Diane & Ally was so lazy, unmotivated, stuck-up, and judgemental. I don’t want to go into a ton of details about them and rant because i’m trying to get them off my mind and in my past. But i will say that they are the most unmotivated, lazy, and judgemental people i’ve ever met. They do not have goals, they don’t care about getting into college, they treat school like it’s nothing. They expect everything to fall at their feet like they’re the main characters in a fucking netflix show. All they do is smoke weed and lay on their beds and talk shit together - no joke. They’re so quick to judge other people for having interests different than theirs or “tryharding” in school. Yea, ok... i’d rather be a try hard then peak in high school. I fell into their patterns when i was friends with them. i stopped being able to think about my future. i couldn’t see myself past college living a life, i had no goals, no dreams, no work ethic, nothing. yes, of course my mental health issues also played into this, but they definitely added fuel to the fire. so much fuel. fucking kerosine.

The person i became was also just not me. i was never once myself around them. it took the space between us for me to realize how disengenuous i was being to myself and my true personality. i am a positive person. i like to make people laugh. i like to have real, deep conversations - there’s nothing better in the world than having a good ass conversation with someone. i hate awkwardness and not being comfortable around people but for some reason i kept making excuses for the way i felt with them. i felt like a fish out of water and i was pretending to be someone i wasn’t. what i’ve realized is that they are not the people for me. they are not the right friends for me. and now i have to work on being okay with that.

I always prided myself on being above getting caught up in high school social hierarchy, but looking from a birdseye view, i made all these excuses for Diane and Ally (and the 3 other people that are kind of included in this group) because they’re popular. they throw parties (horrible parties, but still parties). people know them as the popular group. why the fuck did i care? why the fuck do i still care? this is the kinda self reflection i was talking about in my last post. i’m such a people pleaser and i want everyone to like me so much that i forced myself into this friend group that i cant stand to be around. they have the personalities of a fucking doorknob. What i’ve really realized from all of this is that i need to learn to be okay on my own. i need to be learn to be happy alone. i need to recognize that i am enough and i don’t need to rely on other people for happiness. i need to fucking love myself dude. i haven’t in so long. i wanted to die because i hated who i had become so much. this is why i’ve been trying to get more into spirituality and the law of attraction and all that shit. i’m gonna post updates on here on how that’s going but so far so good. i’m relearning how to love myself!!! yes!! aight that’s all i’ve got for now

-lilia

#mentally ill #mental health #mental illness #my thoughts #high school #mean girls #not myself #out of control #spiritualjourney #spirituality #recovery

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turntechhex · 6 years

Note

all of them B)

Significant Other Asks.

okay its under the cut you shit

1. Tell the story about how you met.

the first time avi and i actually spoke was in a stream i was holding and i was just about to close it off because nobody popped in but then he did and then that lead to punk rock points

2. Was it a gradual increase of trust and love, or was there a specific moment where you knew “I want to be with this person for a long time”?

it was gradual for me but it hit me that i wanted to love him

3. Describe their eyes. Describe their hands. Describe their laugh.

his eyes are really sensitive to the light so he wears his shades a lot but god when he takes them off i get to see his eyes

theyre red and kind of like mine but not in the freaky albino way like mine

his are a beautiful deep red and when i look close enough i can see the little flecks of whatever mixed in

his hands arent scarred and scabbed like mine theyre soft but with a slight toughness to them and when we intertwine our fingers i can really feel that and i love kissing his fingertips just to show him that

and his laugh

god his laugh

i never want to hear anything else

the way it bubbles up and his head falls and his smile is so wide its beautiful

4. What’s your zodiac sign and mbti type? What about your partner’s? Do things like that reflect your actual compatibility or is it just bunch of bunk?

we are both the same sign and i dunno about that mbti stuff and i dont think any of it works for compatibility its kinda dumb

5. Are you long distance? Have you met in person before? When do you get to see them again?

we live together

6. Tell me a story about a happy experience you two shared. Something that makes your heart warm whenever you think about it.

i had lit a bunch of fancy rose candles and turned out the lights and we just showered each other with so many kisses and then fell asleep together smiling stupidly it was nice

7. Tell me a funny story. Did they do something silly? Did you do something silly? Talk about your inside jokes.

he always does something silly

he has this silly smile when he falls asleep and apparently when i sleep i look “angry or apathetic as fuck”

sometimes he walks in when im shaving my legs early in the morning with my hair in a bunch of mini pony tails so i can see and he knows hes seen a demon

8. Are your families supportive? Does it matter if they’re not?

avi doesnt have much of a family other than his sister and i havent met her

and dirk and hal are all ive got and dirk is pretty supportive and i think hal is too

if they werent it would hurt but i couldnt stop loving him yknow

9. Would you ever have a pet together? Do you already have one?

he has four cats and i have an owl

10. Do you have children together? If not, are you both interested in raising children some day?

we do not but maybe someday i havent really thought about it all too much

11. If they’re having a bad day, what do you do to help?

listen the best i can and do whatever i can

give him space if he needs it

hold him if he needs it

12. If you’re having a bad day, what do they do to help?

he listens

fuck he listens

he lets me cry and yell or whatever i need to do and he helps me

he lets me talk to him

he is everything to me when im having a hard time

he knows when to hold me and rub my back and hush me

he knows when to give me space and let me yell

he knows me so well

13. What’s something that your partner does that would be annoying if anyone else did it, but it’s cute when they do it?

he moves a lot in his sleep

he has grabbed my ass on more than one occasion

14. Have you ever went on a vacation or adventure together? Tell me about it. If not, do you have plans to do something fun in the future?

we drive out to the coast sometimes its fun just driving away so yes

15. What’s something that you learned about yourself because of being with your partner?

i learned that im allowed to be confident with my body and im beautiful and nothing anybody can say will crush that

i really started to stop wearing makeup to cover my spots because of him

16. What’s a piece of advice that your partner gave you that has resonated with you?

“please dont ever talk about corpses in public again”

17. Which one of you kills the bugs (or captures the bugs and places them safely outside)?

18. Describe the perfect day with your partner. It can be something that’s already happened, or something that you plan to do.

like i mentioned before just driving out to the coast

both of us laughing the whole way there

his smile as he watches the road that reflects in his eyes

watching the sun set when we finally get there and we just leave the car by the road and nobodys on the beach anymore and i run out to the water with him and it was cold as fuck so we just sat in the sand and held each other and looked up at the moon and he was so beautiful like he is everyday

and then we reluctantly got into the car and drove home mostly in silence expect the whispers of i love you

and we got back home and fell asleep with smiles on our faces it was perfect

19. Do you prepare meals together? Does one person enjoy cooking more than the other?

i usually cook when we arent just having eggs

avi isnt the best cook >BP

20. What are the best restaurants to go to? Do you see movies at the theater? Do you do things like golf or bowling, just to bond more?

theres a really not too fancy nice one downtown that we like

we watch movies at home and dont do much of that stuff

21. Tell me about a time that you got into an argument over something silly.

the ghost in the kitchen that insulted his butter spreading skills was being annoying

22. Tell me about a time that you got into an argument over something serious. How did you compromise? What did you learn?

it was just about family shit it was dumb

we just ended talking

i learned that we both need to talk more and we do now

23. Is there a famous couple, fictional or otherwise, that reminds you (or other people) of you and your partner?

not really

24. Do you have a shipname?

not that i know of

25. Do you two have a “song”? What is it and how did it become your song?

do we have a song

26. Has your partner ever inspired something creative like your art, writing, etc?

ive painted him a few times and he helps me with colours and stuff when im stuck

27. Do you have extremely similar personalities and interests? Or extremely opposite? Or is it a balance that just makes sense? How do you try to better understand each other? Do you ever have to experience things you’re not interested in, or vice versa?

we are pretty similar but other than that its just a good balance

we talk to each other

sometimes i suppose

28. Has your partner ever changed one of your opinions on morals, politics, society, etc?

i dunno

29. Tell me about a time that you were really proud of them.

his dance performance in january he worked so hard for that and i brought him roses afterwards and he did so good

30. Does physical affection and/or sexuality have a role in your relationship? Are both of your needs being respected and fulfilled?

yes we both love physical shit and we make sure that its fulfilled and respected too

31. How often do you talk? On the phone, Skype, in person? Are you two the type that stays up too late because the conversation is too good to end?

we talk and text everyday

32. Talk about your sense of humor, and your partner’s. Do you laugh a lot together? Which one of you is funnier?

we laugh a lot of course

i dont know whos funnier

33. Is there anyone who doesn’t like the idea of your relationship? What’s the reason? How do you and your partner overcome disapproval from others?

not that i can think of

34. Have there been any hardships that have ultimately brought you closer than before?

yeah

there have

35. What’s their contact name in your phone?

my love 💕💕

36. Tell me about what your partner is good at. Are they an artist, are they good at math, do they play a sport, etc?

he is an amazing dancer

37. Get really sappy and gross for a moment. Be so gushy that your friends would groan in mock annoyance if you told them. What’s adorable about your partner? What makes your heart melt? What’s something cute that they did that you’ll always remember no matter what?

david rae strider

he is everything to me

he is my present and my future

he is the rest of my life

falling asleep next to him and waking up next to him is such a privilege and i feel like the luckiest goddamn man in the world to be able to love him

he makes me feel like the happiest man on earth to be able to love him

hes so understanding and patient and he listens to me

his movements are soft and not quick

he comforts me

he cries and i feel like im bleeding from tha inside out and i want to make sure he never has any reason to sad cry

he cries with a smile and i know that i am so in love with him

he kisses my nose and holds me

he kisses every single one of my spots and tells me im beautiful

he traces my scars on my back my arms my face my legs everywhere and kisses my neck still

he holds my hand in public and does fake proposals for free dessert

he knows all the words to every single grease song and so do i

his voice is so nice to hear and his smile is all ive ever wanted to see

his hair is soft and i like to kiss his stubble cheeks when he doesnt shave for a while

hes cute

hes beautiful

he realizes his mistakes

he bought me roses once and put a note inside that he wanted to have roses like that at our wedding someday

he kisses me without regret

he says that he loves me and i believe him

when he got down on his knees and asked me to marry him with tears in his beautiful eyes and held out a shaky beautiful hand with an earring in it

i knew that i loved this man with my entire being

and i said yes

god i said yes

38. Let’s talk about life goals and hopes. Do you two have a similar idea for the future (regarding careers, getting a home, family, finding meaning)? Do you two make a good team? Can you imagine spending the rest of your life with them?

we are moving into his sisters old place once hes done with school and we are getting married in the summer

we just know we want the rest of our lives to be together

39. Reflecting on all of your experiences, what advice would you give to a young couple?

talk to each other and dont try and hide important things and your feelings

dont be stupid but also do stupid things

40. Is your partner on tumblr? Tag them here and write them a small message, it can be anything.

@bromosapiens

ur gross

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twocubes · 7 years

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heres my thoughts about 17776; its an unedited chatlog because thats thematically appropriate and also the day is almost over and im sleepy. also i should mention at the start that 17776 is aesthetically pleasing and “good” as a piece of media (in my judgement but also like who cares about that tbh)

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 17:39] also 17776 makes me feel bad and its complicated for me to articulate why

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 17:40] like i get that it's trying to make me feel bad, and it's articulating why it thinks it's doing it quite clearly

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 17:40] but theres a different reason

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 17:40] and i gotta think about it

Nicky Flowers, [12.07.17 17:40] oh interesting

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 17:42] i think it's like

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 17:42] so to me, the most important point of mathematics is that it allows you to imagine new things

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 17:50] so for allegory: some time ago, someone published this paper, "Possible bubbles of spacetime curvature in the south pacific" (you can find it here: https://arxiv.org/pdf/1210.8144.pdf ). it's kind of a joke paper with real math in it?

anyways the point of it is that, the author takes this one lovecraft story and pretends that the fake work inside it (the diary of some sailor that ends up on an island where lovecrafty stuff happens) is real and proceeds to show that, with judicious applications of general relativity, you can interpret the sailor's story as indicating that some specific kind of exotic matter is on this island, that a whole bunch of the eldritch stuff that disturbed him (the sailor) can be explained as gravitational spacetime distortion, and how the whole thing can be figured out to be something something etc.

But like, from an outside perspective, the "geometry that doesn't make sense" details from inside the place were originally invented specifically so they would appear to be complete nonsense; to be completely uninterpretable and this is supposed to be what drives the person mad; mathematics, in its own development, ended up providing us a way to reach beyond what were once the limits of our understanding and comprehend the incomprehensible

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 17:51] it's like

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 17:52] ok, so you know how people say that mathematics is boring? I'm fairly certain that they mean that in the same way that they mean it when they say that business or politics is boring

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 17:54] which is that it's opaque. people say things, you don't understand them, they slide off of you, so the whole thing ends up being boring because everything you don't understand is like a color you can't see; it's... gray

Nicky Flowers, [12.07.17 17:54] totally

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 17:56] mathematics is (to me) the ultimate expression of trying to reach out and see the colors you can't see. to go beyond yourself and appreciate things that you cannot appreciate now because they are impossible to appreciate without the theory there to let you understand them

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:01] what frustrates me about 17776 is that i know exactly how i would spend 15000 years. like, this is not hyperbole. i have already had plans for my life ive had to reject because they would take over a century and given 150 of them i would do all of them and then more.

and i see what this person estimates people would do and i am reminded of that feeling that haunted me as a kid that no one is actually trying to understand anything outside their own perspective to the extent that interests me and i feel bad about it

Nicky Flowers, [12.07.17 18:01] that's a really nice way of thinking about mathematics

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:11] mathematicians often diss other branches of mathematics as "boring"

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:12] like they say that about analysis a lot or

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:12] logic, fairly frequently

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:15] and like, i remember, when i was at the end of high school/beginning of college deciding that this was bullshit; that some people liked those branches and it was incumbent on me to understand why. and i tried, and it was hard, and i ended up better for it. not so bored by everything. and, yknow, more powerful.

Nicky Flowers, [12.07.17 18:16] more well-rounded

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:16] yeah

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:16] but also, yknow

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:17] better able to defeat boredom, which is the true enemy of learning to appreciate things (aka studying)

Nicky Flowers, [12.07.17 18:30] i never thought of boredom like that

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:32] grey is always used as a signifier of things being boring; but all grey means is that you don't see the colors. so on and so forth

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:32] one defeats boredom not by finding something to do, one defeats boredom by finding how things are interesting

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:33] etc etc etc

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:33] idk ive had a lot of thoughts

Nicky Flowers, [12.07.17 18:33] :3

Nicky Flowers, [12.07.17 18:33] i like ur thoughts

Nicky Flowers, [12.07.17 18:33] ur thought are making me think of other thoughts

Nicky Flowers, [12.07.17 18:33] *thoughts

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:34] mmm

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:34] i guess i dont do that so much these days because like

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:34] i know i have enough things im interesting to last like

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:35] a thousand years

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:35] if i learned more things to be interested in i would become even more anxious

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:36] 17776 seems to come from a perspective that never went through that phase and never went though a period of having to stop doing that for your own sake

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:36] death is terrifying when you realize youve learned enough that you could do research for 1000 years

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:37] so you close yourself a little so you don't get too depressed. but if i did have infinite time, i could have kept on going

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:37] and that would have been great

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:37] but i can't

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:37] anyways

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:37] that's why 17776 makes me feel bad

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:39] because it's ignoring this mechanism that i was forced to stop using by the finiteness of my life

Nicky Flowers, [12.07.17 18:39] awww :/

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:41] it's treating what was to me a trauma as natural, is maybe a way to put it

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:42] "everyone is cut down in this way, that's just how things are" no. i did this. finiteness did this. i remember what it was like without this and i had to stop.

Val Twocubes, [12.07.17 18:43] im... gonna stop talking about this ive gone on too long

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blackthornass · 7 years

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@axoioti here's the murder thing! Sorry it's long I'm on mobile I can't readmore ~ So what you've got to understand is that Peter dated Lukle in high school, but was kind of a prick to her, so they broke up and Lukle started going out with Giselle and they lived happily ever after. Instead of moving the fuck on with his life, Peter stayed bitter towards Lukle and especially towards Giselle for "stealing away his one true love". Also, Peter fuckin loathes criminals because his mom is a shoplifter and his dad has drug deals and ~tragic backstory~ and honestly wants anyone who breaks The Law UFCKING DEAD ™. So like. Course of action is to become a prosecutor because if you're evil and hate criminals if you live in the Ace Attorney universe. Guess who's a defense attorney. Giselle DeLite. Guess who Peter has a personal grudge with a la Godot. Giselle DeLite. Guess who are courtroom rivals. Peter Lockwood and Giselle DeLite. Guess who Giselle's courtroom assistant and investigation partner and fiancée is. (Detective) Lukle Atmey. Everything is fucked. Desirée loves Giselle and she loves Lukle and she stays caught up with their cases. She hears about how Peter is an amoral DICK. She straight up calls him and tells him off and kind of harasses him and makes his life hell becayse, yknow, she's an empty nester with nothing else to do. Peter starts to HATE her and wish he could get her out of his life. Then he realizes how important Desirée is to both Giselle and Lukle and how devastated they'd be if something happened to her. He also thinks about how he could get revenge on both Lukle and Giselle for their "misdeeds". Peter has an idea. So Peter overhears Desirée talking to Lukle after a case, like "hey, want to go on a late night motorcycle run with me?" The two discuss how Desirée'll pick up Lukle and they'll speed through the middle of nowhere in a specific forest because It's More Dangerous On Dirt Roads. Peter is thrilled. Lukle and Des are both wearing Biking Gloves ™ and so is Peter. Everything is perfect. Peter even goes so far as to go out and plant a perfectly placed rock in the road that would absolutely cause an accident whether Des hits it or swerves to avoid it. So anyway, Lukle and Des are on their motorcycle run, having a good time, and then The Rock happens. Both Des and Lukle fall and crash and Lukle is wearing a helmet so she falls and is knocked out, a little bruised, but otherwise fine. She just barely avoids the Bad Burny Part of the crash. Desirée is not wearing a helmet. Peter's been sitting nearby like a fucking owl for the past 3 hours and is fuckin ready to do this man. Desirée is very badly injured and losing consciousness and blood pretty damn quickly. She's bleeding and has a few broken bones and is in no condition to run or go anywhere. Peter is a stabby maniac who finishes off the job via literally going for the jugular. Desirée's thoughts as she's dying are, at first, "at least I got to go out doing what I loved". She assumes she won't be able to get medical help so far from civilization. Then Peter comes and knives her and she's thrown back to being held at knifepoint by the robbers. She uses the last of her strength to try to yell "Ronnie...", half stupidly hoping he comes to save her again, half sadly realizing that she's going to have to leave him. She can't finish before her throat is slit. Peter leaves quietly, but stays in the area When Lukle comes to, she's freaking out and really can't handle this. She's dealt with dead bodies and shit before, she's a goddamn detective and defense attorney's assistant, but this is her future mother-in-law. Desirée and Lukle have been very close for 15 years, and seeing her mangled and dead is sure something else. She picks up the knife and examines it, runs it over the huge gash in Desirée's neck… ...which is the exact moment Peter takes a picture, and turns Lukle in. He's with a member of the police, his own detective (probably a Gumbyrde kid). Peter officially reports the case, and Lukle is arrested for suspected murder. Needless to say, this is awful for Giselle to wake up to. Ron is in a state of grief, and is Absolutely Useless and Depressed for a very long time. Giselle has no time to mourn at the moment. She still is, obviously, and struggles to keep her cool, but her goddamn fiancée was arrested for murder! She has to defend her, because Conflict of Interest is fake. There's a big crying "Giselle everyone thinks I'm a murderer, just like Father!" "It's okay Lukle I love you I'm fighting for you!" scene in the detention center. Here's the problem. Lukle is Giselle's main Investigation Buddy. She goes to crime scenes and spots things Giselle misses and offers fresh insight and pretty much ghostwrites most of Giselle's case. Giselle's just good at delivering it and thinking of counterpoints on the fly. They're two halves of a whole. Giselle is still a pretty damn good lawyer, but she needs to be the absolute best because Lukle is facing death penalty, and she isn't losing any more loved ones. So she's at home, trying to work up the courage to go to the crime scene but actually sobbing and panicking, when the doorbell rings, and Luke Atmey shows up. Giselle HATES Luke, and Luke hates Giselle. She is pissed that he's here. What could he want from her! Everything is already shit! She doesn't need him! But Luke raises a good point. "My dear sweet Daffodil is an Ace Detective, is she not? And that's why you are so successful, you remove the prosecution's unfair advantage? And without her guidance, you are lost. Luckily for you, I, Luke Atmey, may be technically retired, but an Ace Detective continues to be so even when enjoying a life of leisure, and I could spring back to service at your beck and call." Giselle doesn't want to do this. Luke hates Desirée and it feels wrong. But she can't deny that Luke fills Lukle's role enough to work, and she sort of needs that. She asks why Luke would do this, considering he hates her and Desirée. "I've gone through prison as well as framed someone for the very serious charge of murder. Lukle does not deserve an ounce of it. Her life is on the line, and I, her father, would do anything to protect her. Surely you understand." And Giselle does. She'll get Lukle off the hook and bring her mother's killer to justice, she's sure of it. ...there's more involving the case but this is getting long as is and i don't feel like writing a straight up fic I'll add more later probably and turn this into like a real piece of writing that's longer at some point maybe

#zvarri.txt

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