Dystopian button my friend saw during a job application

Btw, if you really just Need A Job (tm)

I'd really recommend looking into care work

Care work here is specifically being a home care aid, a care aid or assistant at any kind of residential home.

This for usually for elderly or disabled adults - and those are the ones that tend to be most entry level, from what I've seen, but also for mental health, addiction recovery etc. (With the obvious caveat that some of these jobs will be more emotionally intense than others)

I'm so serious about this guys. I was applying to jobs in care work for just three weeks, starting a couple days before Christmas, and in that time I got three interviews, two jobs offers, and five additional interview requests

Care work needs people CONSTANTLY

because it's a huge sector but very hard for them to keep staff long-term. Partly because it can be high burn-out, and there's definitely toxic places out there you should watch out for. And partly because a lot of people think care work is beneath them

AND they ACTUALLY MEAN IT when they say they're entry level. Because it's so hard for them to get staff that a lot of them will advertise super aggressively that they will train you themselves. A lot of them will straight up pay for your CPR and First Aid certifications, once they hire you, too (and you can get a leg up on applications by getting a CPR/First Aid certification for like. $30 to $80, at least in the US). They also accept experience taking care of elderly/disabled/etc. family members as real experience

Like, obviously don't do it if you hate taking care of people, but if you're open to it, it's probably by far your best shot of getting hired rn, statistically

(eta: Genuinely disclaimer that it can be super taxing emotionally and large portions of the industry are indeed fucked, and def don't take a job in this field if you're gonna be an asshole to the people you're caring for, but sometimes you just need whatever job you can get.)

Seriously, though, the first time I applied for a care work job (in October 2023, yes short timeline, like I said there's some toxic workplaces etc. out there), I applied to like ten or fifteen jobs over the course of a week or so. Within three weeks, I was working.

(And they did provide all of the training, fwiw)

If you need a job and no one is hiring, seriously consider looking into it

Darling Bitches, is LinkedIn worth the soul suck of having a corporate-friendly social media presence? I know networking is great but I don’t want to filter myself in my off hours, damn it!

We feel you honey!

Basically, you should treat LinkedIn like a detailed online resume. Don't worry about posting there a lot, just make sure your profile is up to date and when you're job searching, check your messages and opportunities on the regular. Otherwise, we don't think it's worth putting a ton of effort in.

Good luck, my darling!

Our Best Secrets for a Successful, Strategic, and SHORT Job Search

Ask the Bitches: What the Hell Else Can I Do To Get a Job? 

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Hey! Hey, would you like to be a park ranger?

USA Jobs just posted a bunch of national park ranger positions for summer 2024--everything from small historic sites to the big flagship parks like Yellowstone and Yosemite. These are seasonal positions specifically for interpretive rangers, which means you begin around May-ish and end around September-October-ish. Interpretation is the branch of the NPS that does educational programming and frontline visitor services, like working in the visitor centers, leading guided walks and talks, and just generally interacting with the public in a friendly, helpful way.

If you have a four-year college degree in just about any subject (honestly, I've worked with people with degrees ranging from theater to business to geoscience), or 12 months' relevant work experience (customer service, retail, education, camp counseling, etc), or a combination of the two, you're eligible to apply. All you need is a resume and transcripts if you're using education to qualify.

Just go to USAJobs.gov and search for "park ranger interpretation" in the search bar. The key things you're looking for in the results are listings from the National Park Service, the code GS 5 (which is the entry level for this position), and the phrase Not to Exceed 1039 hours (which indicates it's a seasonal position).

Some tips!

>Each application requires you to answer a questionnaire about your experience with things like customer service, preparing educational programs, researching scientific topics, etc. Be generous with yourself on these, because other folks will be. Even if you don't think you're an "expert" in something, consider your past work creatively. Have you presented research projects in class? Have you worked retail? Can you keep up a professional demeanor when somebody's upset? You have the qualifications. Rate yourself as such.

>Be thorough and specific in your resume. The NPS isn't a one-pager resume organization. They need to see evidence that you have the qualifications you say you do. The best way to ensure this is to copy, word for word, the phrases in the above questionnaire and insert them in the relevant places in your resume. So if the questionnaire says "Can you research, prepare, and present scientific information to a lay public," go to the appropriate place in your resume and write "I researched, prepared, and presented scientific information to my peers" or something similar. I kid you not, my current resume is ten pages long.

>Cover letters are optional but helpful! There are lots of templates online to help you write one; be sure to be professional. Mine is around 250 words and has three short paragraphs:

1- Position I'm applying for

2- Quick summary of most relevant work/education experience

3- Additional skills/rizz that makes me stand out (for me it's writing/illustrating, which helps me create visitor programs)

>Two things the NPS loves that will boost you are foreign language skills and being a US military veteran. Highlight these elements if you have them.

>Are you a schoolteacher? Check out the Teacher-Ranger-Teacher program.

>The big flashy parks are posted as standalone listings, but most of the others are bundled into "Multiple Locations" that are based on region. Consider applying for many of these smaller monuments and historic sites---they get far fewer applicants and are easier to secure. And many are absolutely beautiful. Want to work at Arches? Also apply to Natural Bridges. Want to work in Yellowstone? Also try Lassen Volcanic. Prefer history over science? You have dozens of amazing options from every facet of American history.

>Apply today! Apply now! Many of these parks cap their applicants because they get so many, and the rest will close after a week or so. A glance at the ones that were posted today and yesterday show them either closing on October 15 or 22. Some regions haven't posted yet, so keep checking the website in the next few weeks.

I love my work as a park ranger---it's such a rewarding way to spend a summer (or two, or ten), and it can open doors to other things. You won't get rich, but you will make great friends and great memories, add a killer section to your resume, and spend four months immersed with smart, passionate people in some of the coolest places in the US.

Plus you get a SICK HAT

Comic #337: Message in a bottle - Website links: Here! What it feels like to apply for jobs online 🥲

Tomodachi Ijou - Only 5 cm

Hello Indeed Dot Com. In front of you is a person looking for entry level work. Your job is to show them positions they qualify for and meet their salary expectations in the city they live, and to email them these listings daily. If you suggest a job that is across the country, isn’t entry level, or not actually hiring, you fail and you will be forced to use your own app until the day you die.

And also The Creature will be released. Good luck.

Yeah applying for jobs feels dehumanizing. Yeah society is crumbling. Yeah we are all oppressed by the ruling one percenters. Yeah the world is full of cruelty. But you Cannot Stop Me from baking fucking bread with my Beloved Friends. And you can't stop me from drawing flowers. And you can't stop me from moving worms out of the sun back into the dirt in the shade. And you can't stop me from asking for help even when my past experiences have tried to convince me to never do so again. I am STUBBORN and I will CONTINUE LOVING

I had an interview scheduled for today at 11AM. I went in at 10:45, and the front desk clerk told me that the position had been filled before I even applied. I asked why the manager would schedule me for an interview if the job was never available, and she told me that the manager didn't; the "person" I had been talking to for the past 2 days was an AI program, not a human. The system automatically schedules interviews for everyone who applies, no matter how old the job listing is.

WHAT KINDA BULLSHIT FUCKERY IS THAT?!?

days since last had breakdown about the fact that I'm 31 and have only had an INTERVIEW for one (1) full-time job in my field- and it wasn't even in a part of my field that interests me -in seven years of looking: 0

I made below the poverty level in my state—$16,000—$20,000 for the vast majority of my adult life. I live in a state with one of the highest rates of taxes and rent.

I found a job in which the gross income advertised was 55k.

People who aren't there yet—here's what they don't tell you and what I had to learn the hard way:

Out of that $55,000 income, about $20,000 gets taken out for taxes right out of my paycheck. So that leaves me with $30,000—which is $10,000–$14,000 more than what I previously made.

But now I have to pay for health insurance when previously it was free.

$125 gets taken out per paycheck. So $3,000 per year.

Now that $55,000 figure I've advertised is down to $27,000 a year that goes to me for living expenses. But I still also have to meet an annual deductible ($250 in my case—for some people it can be upwards of $8,000) and I still pay co-pays (15–20% of whatever the medical bill is). I also still have to have a percent taken from my paychecks and put into retirement.

My rent is $18,000 a year.

I'm single and don't claim any deductibles or have any children.

For those of you looking for your "first big job" soon, think of the salary you're considering and add $20,000 more. Different tax brackets take different amounts from your gross salary, but aiming for at least $20,000 more than you think you need to survive on will help.

Help! The Ungrateful Youths of Today Don't Appreciate the Value of Anything, and by 'Anything' I Mean the Worthless Shit I Am Trying to Sell Them

Ask A Manager, 12 May 2023:

Several years ago I was frustrated with the way people went about looking for jobs. I’m a small business owner and even before running my own company, I always networked. Through networking I’ve managed to do so much. Today I run six networking groups. Again, several years ago I created a t-shirt designed to network for you. It lists various fields, each with a checkbox by it, and comes with a small sharpie so you can check off the type of job or career you desire. By wearing the t-shirt everywhere you go, it starts the job seeking conversation. I marketed them inexpensively to college grads. I went to colleges, job fairs, and even graduations. Not one t-shirt sold. I was so angry. I was on popular talk shows and in the paper and still nothing. Today I sit with every size t-shirt in my garage. Many ask why I don’t still pursue this idea. They are the ones who got the idea and believe in it. Perhaps I was ahead of my time. I marketed towards college grads who texted as a main form of communication. However, today communication is even worse. Young adults can barely look someone in the eye. Please tell me what your opinion is of my t-shirts. I hoped people would wear them daily and maybe while filling their gas tank this would start a conversation that would change their lives forever. Networking will always be the way to get what you need. Referrals, physicians, mechanics, plumbers, electricians, landscapers, housekeepers, financial advisors, accountants, babysitters, trainers, real estate agents, tutors, and whatever I have missed. Am I wrong? Would my product help those unable to network?

There is one reason and one reason only that your revolutionary clothing business has failed to see the success it so clearly deserves: young people today are appallingly poor communicators who, for reasons that likely include video games and participation trophies, are actively unwilling to appreciate the awesome one-on-one human connections that can only be made by going about life wearing a t-shirt and hoping someone reads it and decides to enter into a business relationship as a result. Yes indeed, it is specifically and only the modern youths who have refused to purchase your t-shirts who are very, very poor at understanding how to build valuable and meaningful relationships with other humans. There is definitely not anybody else here who is bad at communicating.

Every single person on planet earth who is under the age of, say, 25, lacks the foresight and vision to appreciate the radically lucrative possibilities of wearing the same t-shirt every day every single place they go. Every single person who didn't buy one of your shirts did so because they are young and stupid and don't know a life-changing idea when they see one. But you do! Because you are old and smart, which are the same thing.

After all, you are great at networking and have managed to do incredible things as a result of your great networking skills, such as running six networking groups. If that's not proof positive that networking works, what is?

The only way to know for sure whether your shirts will help poor communicators understand exactly how bad they are at connecting with others may be to try your product out for yourself.

Hypothetically if someone wanted to include their ability to schedule appointments, organize events and transportation, and meal plan and prep for their family on their resume how would they word that

We LOOOOOOVE the "how do I reframe unpaid labor on my resume" question. This is like Bitch bait.

Ok, so this sounds like you are an Organizational Specialist, or a Personal Assistant to a Head of Household, or an Organizational Consultant to a busy professional. List of responsibilities should include event planning, nutritional development, essential transportation, scheduling and booking, and administrative management.

Pick the corporate buzzwords that most fit with the job you're applying for, stare them directly in the eyes, and know that your unpaid labor for your family is VALUABLE WORK EXPERIENCE.

Here's more advice:

How to Frame Volunteering on Your Resume When You’ve Never Had a Job 

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it’s okay if you never end up loving your job. it’s okay if your job isn’t your passion and it’s just a job. it’s okay if what you care about is only possible to focus on outside of work. in a capitalist society, it may feel like you are defined by your job, but that’s not true! your hobbies, other interests, and passions are just as important. sending love and luck to everyone else job searching rn <3