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prettiestlovergirl · 2 months

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TROUBLE

tw: MDNI; fem!reader; slytherin!reader; spoiled!reader; ditzy!reader; semi-public sex; unprotected sex (wrap it b4 you tap it); oral fixation! reader; slight dumbification; rough sex; fingering; italian!theodore nott.

a/n: giggling and kicking my feet with this one, I LOVE ITALIAN! THEO. one of my favorite hcs. i had a grand ole time writing this one hehe. enjoy, my lovelies! 𓆩♡𓆪

theodore nott thrived on things being neat and orderly.

he was reserved, controlled, proper. his hair was always perfectly styled, his uniforms neatly pressed, every single act was planned in advance, he functioned 5 steps ahead of the world.

even when he and his friends were cruel or caused some sort of chaos, it was perfectly controlled. there was nothing that could break his focus, his drive, his desire for perfection.

well, except for you that is.

you and theo had been... acquaintances for years. you had classes together, attended the same house parties, you were incredibly hard to miss. you were his opposite in every way: you were bold, impulsive, fucking chaos personified.

he liked controlled actions, carefully planned out steps, and neat perfection and you? you liked everything but.

he should have wanted nothing to do with you, should have been appalled by you but.... it was exactly the opposite. everything about you seemed to draw him in. your charming smiles, your hissed demands, your expensive taste, everything about you fascinated him.

something about you made him want to lose control, to let you drive him insane. being around you felt messy, felt like playing with fire, he should have never been alone with you.

being alone with you meant thoughts of letting you ruin him completely and letting him ruin you ran wild, so he always made sure to have a buffer or three to keep you at arm's length.

but when snape asked if anybody could tutor you... he couldn't resist offering his services, being your knight in shining armor. you'd just looked so desperate, with your glossy pink lips sticking out in the sweetest little pout.

now, however, he was seriously regretting allowing himself to think with his dick instead of his rational brain. you were so close he could smell the fucking strawberry scented shampoo you used and the way it mixed in with your expensive perfume.

theo prided himself on his self-control, so really, it was pathetic that 40 minutes with you sitting across from him had him so tense. he tried to focus on helping you, but you consistently pulled him off course.

you hated studying, hence the need for a tutor. you could never focus, it was just so boring. especially right now, when you had the theodore nott helping you out. how could you be expected to focus on potions when you could pick the brain on the most poise and proper man in your year?

you couldn't help but tease him a bit, i mean, you figured he was indestructible. you joked around and flashed him flirty little smiles, relishing in every teasing comment or joke you pulled out of him.

eventually, theo couldn't take it anymore. he was one pink-tinted glossy smile away from grabbing you right then and there. he excused himself abruptly, lying about needing to find you another book. really, he just needed a second to breath strawberry-free air and calm himself down.

but you had to follow him, didn't you? you just had to follow him into the secluded section, hands behind your back, pouty lip caught between your teeth. "are you alright, theo?" you questioned, eyes full of concern as his name rolled off your tongue perfectly.

and that was all it took for his last shred of self-control to break.

it had taken you completely by surprise. one moment, you were afraid you'd upset him, going to follow him and apologize for your teasing. the next, he'd murmured a quick "fanculo" (fuck it) and crashed his lips onto yours.

the kiss was rough and unrestrained, not at all how you'd imagined he'd have kissed. you thought it would be chaste and sweet, all proper like him. the roughness, the desperation of it all had you moaning on impact in both surprise and delight.

theo relished in your moan, pushing his tongue past your lips and teeth to explore your mouth. his tongue moved so expertly; it made your brain go a little fuzzy. his tongue drew moan after moan out of you.

his long, nimble fingers expertly unbuttoned your shirt before tugging your bra down just enough to expose your mouthwatering tits to him. the cool library air made your nipples harden instantly.

"merda, guaio." (shit) he swore, pulling away from your lips to admire all your exposed flesh. he watched as your chest heaved while you caught your breath. "you gonna be quiet for me, mio tesoro?" (my treasure) he asked, his lips wrapping around one of your nipples while his eyes stayed on yours.

it took a moment for you to even register that he was talking to you. your mind was spinning with a million different thoughts but you still found yourself unable to come up with a coherent sentence.

it felt a little like you had whiplash. you couldn't quite believe that the perfect and oh-so-calculated theodore nott was currently swirling his tongue around your nipple in the middle of the library.

"i asked you a question, guaio." he cooed, his teeth nipping at the sensitive flesh and making you gasp. "yes. yes, i'll be quiet." you breathed, nodding your head rapidly as your eyes stayed trained on his. "brava ragazza." (good girl)

his words burned into your skin, the wetness between your thighs practically gushing over your panties while he continued to suck and lick both of your nipples until they were coated in his saliva.

"t-theo.." you whimpered softly, biting your lip harshly as one of his hands trailed under your skirt, fingers brushing against the wetness soaking your panties. "please..." you gasped.

the sound of you whimpering out his name drove him fucking insane, his hands quickly sliding your panties off and shoving the damp fabric into his back pocket before brushing his thumb over your swollen clit.

you mewled out in pleasure, his smooth thumb making your vision get a little hazy. "so fucking wet, guaio." he groaned quietly, continuing to rub your clit with his thumb.

you didn't see when he pushed a finger deep inside, making you cry out before his free hand smacked over your mouth. "gotta be quiet for me, or i'll have to stop." he hissed, making you whine at the idea of him stopping anytime soon.

"'m s-sorry." you moaned against his palm, hand latching onto his arm. you brought two of his fingers into your mouth, sucking them and coating them with your saliva in order to help keep you quiet while he consumed you.

he played with your body with ruthless precision while you writhed in pure bliss, free hand gripping onto the bookcase beside you as you moaned around his fingers.

he pushed a second finger into you and then a third, stretching your puffy walls out over and over with his thrusts. your knees were practically shaking when his fingers crashed into that familiar, gummy spot that made your toes curl.

he forced his fingers further down your throat once he hit the spot, keeping you from screaming out in pleasure while you came all over his hand.

theo relished in your pussy walls fluttering around his fingers, the squelching sounds of your wetness coating his hand making his trousers feel fucking unbearable at this point.

he pulled his fingers out of both your holes, letting you catch your breath for just a second before shoving his cum-soaked fingers back into your mouth. "clean them for me, will you guaio?" he cooed, a borderline deranged smirk on his face as you did just that.

"cazzo, i can't enough of you." (fuck) he huffed, pulling his fingers back out and spinning you towards the bookcase. he pressed your face lightly against the bookcase, bringing his hands down to quickly bring his cock out from his pants.

you gripped onto the bookcase for support, face pressed against some old atlas' no one ever used anymore will your nipples scraped the smooth wood.

"you're gonna be the fucking death of me, guaio." he hissed, before lifting your skirt back up and thrusting roughly into you. you gasped and moaned against the shelf, unable to help yourself before his fingers pushed back into your mouth.

you gagged and sucked on his two fingers while he thrusted roughly into you, muffling his grunts and groans of pleasure into your neck. his lips latched onto your sweet spot, teeth scraping over it repeatedly as he fucked you.

"so fucking tight, guaio. such a good fucking girl for me. you drive me fucking insane." he grunted, each word followed by a fast and rough thrust and made your whole body shake with pleasure as he fucked you.

his free hand gripped your waist tightly, keeping you from rocking the shelf as best he could while he moved roughly in and out of you. your tongue swirled around his fingers, muffled babbles about how fucking good you felt escaping your lips.

the neat and pristine man relished in turning you into a dumb, babbling mess. your own drool and saliva coated your chin as he fucked you.

it wasn't long before your legs started quivering and your pussy walls started to clench tighter around him. "'m gonna- f-fuck, 'm gonna cum!" you whined, the wet sounds of you gagging on his fingers and his cock pounding your pussy drove you insane.

theo bit his lip hard enough to draw blood, forcing himself to stay quiet while he lost himself in your tight walls. his eyes were fixed on where you two were connected, the sight of your arousal creating a creamy white ring around his cock nearly sent him over the edge.

"cum for me, guaio. be a good girl and cum on my cock." he cooed in your ear, gripping your hip even tighter to fuck deeper into you until you coated his cock in your cum.

you had a couple tears running down your cheeks, mascara clumping as he continued to fuck you hard and fast until he reached his own high and painted your walls with his cum.

he buried his now sweat covered forehead into the crook of your neck, trying to catch his breath while you panted. he pulled his fingers back from your mouth, letting them drag over your kiss swollen lips and chin.

theodore nott had fucking ruined you and he was sure you had done exactly the same, he had the crescent shapes etched into his arm to prove it.

"what does guaio mean?" you asked suddenly, absolutely butchering the pronunciation as you blinked your doe eyes at him. you would have looked so innocent if it weren't for the saliva and streaks of black.

"it means trouble, bambola." (doll)

ᵈⁱᵛⁱᵈᵉʳ ᵐᵃᵈᵉ ᵇʸ @ᵐᵘʳᵘᶠᶠⁱⁿ

#☆lola writes !#theodore nott #theo nott #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott smut #theo nott x reader #theodore nott x you #slytherin boys #slytherin boy #slytherin boy x reader #smut

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ash-and-books · 1 year

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Rating: 5/5

Book Blurb: She's his opposite in every way...and the greatest temptation he's ever known. Reserved, controlled, and proper to a fault, Kai Young has neither the time nor inclination for chaos—and Isabella, with her purple hair and inappropriate jokes, is chaos personified. With a crucial CEO vote looming and a media empire at stake, the billionaire heir can’t afford the distraction she brings. Isabella is everything he shouldn’t want, but with every look and every touch, he’s tempted to break all his rules…and claim her as his own. *** Bold, impulsive, and full of life, Isabella Valencia has never met a party she doesn’t like or a man she couldn’t charm...except for Kai Young. It shouldn’t matter. He’s not her type—the man translates classics into Latin for fun, and his membership at the exclusive club where she bartends means he’s strictly off limits. But she can’t deny that, beneath his cool exterior, is a man who could make her melt with just a touch. No matter how hard they try, they can’t resist giving into their forbidden desires. Even if it costs them everything. King of Pride is a steamy opposite attract, forbidden billionaire romance. It's book two in the Kings of Sin series but can be read as a standalone. Contains explicit content and profanity. Recommended for mature readers only.

Review:

She’s an aspiring author who works as a bartender, she’s everything he isn’t suppose to want... and yet the moment billionaire heir Kai Young met Isabella Valencia, he can’t get her out of his head. Kai is in the running to become the CEO of his family’s company, he prides himself in never losing, in being the best at everything, and yet when he finds himself being drawn in by the very bold, impulsive, and beautiful bartender at the private club he has a membership to, he can’t help but come back for more. Isabella is an aspiring writer, trying hard to make it on her own. She’s had a bad relationship that has had her on a man ban for two years now but when she meets the serious and studious Kai, she can’t help but find herself very curious about the guy who translates classics into Latin for fun and somehow always ends up interrupting her at her most embarrassing moments in conversations. The club has a strict no fraternization between employees and members, but neither Kai nor Isabella can stop the thing that is going on between them... yet they come from two completely different worlds and if what is going on between them gets out... it could cost them everything... but is it worth it? Are they willing to risk it all for each other? I had so much fun with this one. I adored Kai and Isabella’s relationship so much, they were adorable and fun as a couple. I loved that we got to see the other couples from the books and universe in this one and I can’t wait to see where the next book goes!

#book review #ana huang #king of pride

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edayildiz666 · 8 months

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King Of Pride (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/story/352624895-king-of-pride?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_myworks&wp_uname=edayildiz_6868&wp_originator=SV4vsI6XZZs3CGDF%2Bgrm%2BvoiSuPEPCqd4wmv%2FNDDfOdaCdAZVT4qt%2Boeb8vlSf4VifQGWNP%2BlVIFJW%2FysWjn0RORbwEA7UqIdWgyIx5NxCRsL4MIo1dWtyiv%2BT0jfXKx She's his opposite in every way...and the greatest temptation he's ever known. Reserved, controlled, and proper to a fault, Kai Young has neither the time nor inclination for chaos-and Isabella, with her purple hair and inappropriate jokes, is chaos personified. With a crucial CEO vote looming and a media empire at stake, the billionaire heir can't afford the distraction she brings. Isabella is everything he shouldn't want, but with every look and every touch, he's tempted to break all his rules...and claim her as his own. *** Bold, impulsive, and full of life, Isabella Valencia has never met a party she doesn't like or a man she couldn't charm...except for Kai Young. It shouldn't matter. He's not her type-the man translates classics into Latin for fun, and his membership at the exclusive club where she bartends means he's strictly off limits. But she can't deny that, beneath his cool exterior, is a man who could make her melt with just a touch. No matter how hard they try, they can't resist giving into their forbidden desires. Even if it costs them everything.

#anahuang #billionaire #billionare #chinese #forbidden #isabella #kai #lovable #oppisitesattract #romance #waitress #books #wattpad #amwriting

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um-in-o · 4 years

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Charachter astrology: Leorio and Kurapika

Just like for the first post i'm only going to discuss sun, moon and rising signs along with possible dominants and elements. Also I'm keeping the sun signs/birth dates that Togashi came up with because they are super accurate and he chose them with intention.

Let's start with Sun signs: Pisces and Aries. Beginnings and endings, leading and supporting, taking action and dreaming, doing and feeling. Total opposites. Aries is ruled by mars, planet of passion, ambition and fighting spirit, Pisces is ruled by Neptune (Venus and Jupiter). The sun sign represents the ego, the self and the center of the personality. Kurapika is in fact a headstrong, stubbord and fiery person. He Is dominated by his ambition, his rage and his pride(ex: The first episode). He wishes to keep his anger and thirst for revenge alive and burning because he has built his whole life, and personality, around it. When in reality without the tragedy of his family he could have been a fun loving, passionate leading figure for others. Not that he isn't anymore, he's just buried away anything that wasn't useful to him in his quest for vengeance. So he kept the rage, ambition and impulsiveness of the aries while throwing away the fun, free spirited, naif persona. He has the most troubled heart of the four. Leorio on the other hand has the calmest heart. He is soothing, watery, healing. He is caring, kind and loving. When confronted with his own trauma, instead of pushing away his vulnerable side like Kurapika he exaggerated the traits that he saw useful to others. He wasn't able to save his childhood friend trough feelings alone so he became a doctor to share his care and to help to as many people as possible. His " "revenge" was more internal, as in " i'll show the world that I'm not helpless" and as in beating himself up for what happened even though It was out of his control. Kurapika's quest is self destructive, Leorio's healing.

( reminder: i'm not judging I love them both equally so so much)

The Moon: emotions, the vulnerable and hidden self, intuition. Leorio's emotions are intense, passionate and lead him to be impulsive and get angry quickly. Kurapika Is pretty rational and detached from his emotions but when he is in touch he's witty, fun to be around and anxious for others. Leorio is an aries moon while Kurapika is a gemini moon. Leorio wears his heart on his sleeves and you can get him mad in seconds and it's pretty fun to see. The combo Pisces sun and aries moon makes him pretty naïve and idealistic but also super duper lovable as he is honesty personified( take the election arc). Also both Kurapika and Leorio were ready to throw hands at Gon's last match for the exam but Leorio went about it in a more simply aggressive way while Kurapika was equally angry but also more controlled and that made him scarier. Kurapika rationalises everything, he doesn't need to feel he needs to think. He Is the smartest of the four and he loves to brag about his knowledge. He knows a lot of culturally diverse stuff and he reads a lot. He's good at coming up with strategies ( i mean... the fucking boat arc ). Yet his emotional intelligence is on the low. Not towards others, absolutely not, but towards himself. He pretends he can control his feelings, his body, his mind and when he cannot he breaks down. He is fundamentally anxious and a perfectionist (Kill ALL the members, get all the eyes etc). However when calm and balance he's funny in a sarcastic and Witty manner, he loves to banter and to jokingly provoke Leorio for example. He can also be reliable and quick thinking in stressful situations.

Finally the rising sign: the persona we show others and the qualities that we project outwards. Kurapika and Leorio both have in common the fact that they present each other in a way that's pretty different from Who they are deep down. Probably because, unlike the children, they have more experience with the world and its dangers and difficulties so they feel like they have to put up a front. Leorio Is a capricorn rising and Kurapika an aquarius rising. Leorio wants to be seen as an adult ( not an old man though), a business man, someone respectable and with authority. And what does he believe to have the most Power and authority? Money. So he always dresses up , he brings with him his medical supplies in a briefcase wherever he goes. He wants to be taken seeiously and wants to be seen as someone who is in control. In the beginning he also acts coldly towards Gon and Killua only to have his heart warmed pretty damn soon ( Remember the First episode and the fight with Kurapika?). Kurapika on the other hand appears as someone who is completely detached from others, cold, intellectual, calm and collected and a bit bratty. He seems to think likes he's better(and smarter)than others at first only to show his caring, sensitive and passionate side later on. He has trust issues and like Leorio has experienced grief associated to loss so it's only natural that he hides his feelings to others while only showing his strenght, when needed, and his sharp toungue and wit.

To me this SCREAMS that they are deeply connected ( yes romantically) to one another because they complement eachother perfectly while still having some similar charachteristics. They also went trough similar experiences and know and understand eachother better than anyone else.

They are both hot headed and impulsive and passionate (Aries and Fire Energy) but Leorio is more open and balanced (water and earth) while Kurapika is detached and separated and extremely imbalanced( air dominant).

Again: like Gon and Killua, if they just open up( and with this I mean Kurapika) and come toghether they can help one another a lot just by being close.

Hope you enjoyed!

#leorio kurapika #leopika #charachter astrology #hxh #my post

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linkspooky · 4 years

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The Curse’s “Creed”

Jujutsu Kaisen has a set of unique antagonists. Curses that are made of and emerge from the darker side of human emotion, and yet have gained intelligence and emotions of their own. They are at the same time, human and completely inhuman. Underneath the cut let’s explore the unique psychology of Jujutsu Kaisen’s most terrifying villains.

1. Living True to Their Desires

In chapter 92-93 after already sealing Gojou there is a unique dialogue scene where after gaining victory, Mahito, Jogo, Choso, the three intelligent curses still decide to throw caution in the wind simply because they can. They act according not to logic, but to their own desires. To summarize the situation lightly all three curses, plus Fake Getou engineered the Shibuya incident with the primary goal of sealing Gojou. They also have a secondary goal of giving all of sukuna’s fingers to Yuji in order to grant Sukuna possession of the body and persuade him to their side, with those two objectives victory would be on their side. However, rather than doing the logical thing, Mahito suggests they do the illogical thing.

They kill Yuji now, not because it serves any strategic purpose but because Mahito simply wants to. He wants to throw the whole plan off not for any good reason, but just because he strongly dislikes Yuji. It’s a situation that is all risk and practically no gain. For a human there would be practically no reason to do this besides “I want to”, but for a curse this move almost makes sense. Curses are the living embodiment of whims. They are desires. Understanding that curses lack the ability to say no to their own desires the way humans do is important to understanding them.

The origin of curses lie in human beings. As Megumi explains, negative emotions that are regularly repressed subconsciously flow out of people and gather in places. These story concepts are based on several real world psychology concepts.

The Shadow.

In Jungian psychology, the "shadow", "Id", or "shadow aspect/archetype" may refer to (1) an unconscious aspect of the personality which the conscious ego does not identify in itself, or (2) the entirety of the unconscious, i.e., everything of which a person is not fully conscious. In short, the shadow is the unknown side.

Because one tends to reject or remain ignorant of the least desirable aspects of one's personality, the shadow is largely negative.

Repression.

Repression is the psychological attempt to direct one's own desires and impulses toward pleasurable instincts by excluding them from one's consciousness and holding or subduing them in the unconscious. Repression is a key concept of psychoanalysis, where it is understood as a defence mechanism that "ensures that what is unacceptable to the conscious mind, and would if recalled arouse anxiety, is prevented from entering into it."

Collective Unconscious

Collective unconscious (German: kollektives Unbewusstes) refers to structures of the unconscious mind which are shared among beings of the same species. It is a term coined by Carl Jung. According to Jung, the human collective unconscious is populated by instincts, as well as by archetypes: universal symbols such as The Great Mother, the Wise Old Man, the Shadow, the Tower, Water, and the Tree of Life.

Basically to put these three ideas into practice as an explanation for the emergence of curses. Every person has an unconscious part of their mind. This is made up of all the anxieties and undesirable aspects of ourselves that we are mostly unaware of. People do not live their lives constantly confronting the worst aspects of life, or their own negative emotion, so to live from day to day most people choose to repress, that is a defense mechanism that pushes unsavory things to the back of your mind. Finally if everyone has an unconscious mind comingles and forms a society, then Jung posits that everybody in that society collectively generates an unconscious as well.

For example in the fight against Toji, Getou summons a Kuchi-saki Onna. This isn’t a traditional Yokai, but rather an urban legend that went around in the modern ages. It’s a story that people started telling about a woman who wearing a face mask walks up to a man, asks them if they’re pretty, and if he says no she kills him, if he says yes, she cuts his face up to look exactly like hers. This urban legend is told and retold enough times and enough people believe it that it basically enters the popular conscious. Jung’s idea of the collective unconscious is the same, that myths emerge from the fact that people existing in a society all tend to share the same experiences in life and therefore often tell the same stories over and over again.

Curses’s emerge from this collective repression that humans do. Humans are built from lies. Humans feel hatred, murderous intent, but choose to repress these emotions instead of acting on them.

What Jogo is referring to is the persona. If the shadow is what’s underneath the surface, then the persona is the surface. It’s the mask that all humans wear.

The persona, for Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung, was the social face the individual presented to the world—"a kind of mask, designed on the one hand to make a definite impression upon others, and on the other to conceal the true nature of the individual"

Persona is the way humans engage other people. Behavior is in part a performance. The way you behave changes based on who you are around, you don’t swear in front of your grandma, but you might if you’re hanging out with friends. Therefore you’re always intentionally presenting a portion of your personality and trying to show what you consider to be your best traits rather than your worst traits. The conscious mind decides, it acts, it performs, whereas the unconscious mind that we have no control over simply is. Which is why Jogo says that curses products of an unconscious mind are simply more honest than regular human beings.

Curses lack that mask. They can’t repress, they can’t lie, and they can’t ever deny their whims.

2. I Desire

This panelling in Mahito’s plan to either kill Yuji or offer the fingers to Sukuna is symbolic of this divide between conscious and unconscious. There are two faces to Yuji Itadori. There are two people essentially dwelling within the same body.

There is the forward facing Yuji, a well meaning boy who wants to save everyone he possibly can and surround himself with friends so he doesn’t want to die all alone like his grandfather. Then there’s Sukuna, the reverse face, the other side violence, selfishness, and the idea that might makes right personified. They may seem like total opposites, and yet they exist within the same body.

Sukuna... Sukuna is literally called a two faced spectre. He’s thematically designed around the concept of having too faces. But, Sukuna and Yuji aren’t the only two faced characters. Everyone has two faces, ultimately.

Yuji seems like he is too much of a good boy to have anything in common with Sukuna, but once again the idea here is dualism and not opposites. Yuji and Sukuna are two sides of the same coin. Yuji for all of his good intentions, is also capable of murderous anger, and relying on violence and strength above all else to solve his problems. Sukuna isn’t Yuji’s opposite, but rather someone who exist on the other side of Yuji.

And Jung would argue that this collectively exists for all people. Yuji can have a terrifying curse like Sukuna existing in his shadow. Getou who was a decent, caring person can suddenly snap one day and decide to kill every last person on earth. Curses argue that these violent desires, these horrible urges, are not inhuman but rather that they’re perfectly human and emerge from human nature. Jogo uses this reasoning to assert that because they are unfailingly true to these desires that curses are more human than human beings themselves.

This is in part what the small fry and reverse retribution arc was about.

Junpei, who is for the most part a normal good kid who loves his mom is also casually thinking about how if he had a button to press that would kill all of his bullies he would press it without hesitation. At the beginning of the arc Junpei isn’t seriously thinking of killing them of course, but those negative emotions exist in his head. Junpei is the standin for the everyman character. It’s an understandable feeling, if you were being bullied consistently and didn’t have a happy life, part of you would just wish the bullies would go away by any means necessary.

It’s not that hard to believe that the desire to kill is a completely human urge rather than an inhuman one. After all, humans make weapons, humans make wars, all of these are ugly sides of human nature that we often turn a blind eye too rather than confront.

Mahito argues to Junpei that there’s no reason for him to restict themselves. Because Mahito lacks what most humans would call a conscience, or a set of restraints. It’s like most people might feel the urge to kill their bullies just because they want the pain to end, but also most people have a switch that prevents them from acting on those urges. For Mahito that switch is broken. He has no mechanisms of repression, he’s pure desire.

So he doesn’t get it. He doesn’t get why people would choose to restrict themselves in any way. He doesn’t understand why people would want anything other than absolute freedom. What Mahito encourages Junpei to do is to live more like a curse. To do what he desires when he desires without needlessly holding himself back or thinking of the consequences.

It once again sounds inhuman but it emerges from human psychology. There’s an idea that overlaps with the shadow called the Id. Freud and Jung basically had models for the unconscious mind, Jung had a split model with Persona / Shadow while Freud split the mind into three.

In the ego psychology model of the psyche, the id is the set of uncoordinated instinctual desires; the super-ego plays the critical and moralizing role; and the ego is the organized, realistic agent that mediates, between the instinctual desires of the id and the critical super-ego

The id is a set of uncoordinated instinctual desires. For example if you had a cookie on a plate in front of Mahito and you told him not to eat it for five minutes, Mahito would have already eaten the cookie before you finished telling him. Mahito is pure Id, without any other part of the ego to interfere in his decisions. Freud split the ego into three planes, and just by coincidence there are now three major curses left.

Mahito, Choso, and Jogo. This is what we call a freudian trio, each character corresponds with one area in the model of the psyche. Mahito who is the most impulsive and desirious of the three is the Id. Mahito is unrestrained, while he seems to enjoy the company of the other curses he doesn’t seem to mourn Hanami’s death at all (when even Jogo reacted to it), and decides everything even his involvement with Junpei who he merely found interesting until he didn’t based on a whim. He lives his life unrelated, unattached. Which makes sense because Mahito is literally the embodiment of the fear to connect that stops people from getting close to others.

Choso is the opposite of Mahito. He’s the one most tied down. While Mahito emerges from the human psyche, Choso himself is literally a half-human half-curse hybrid with human emotions which makes him the most human of the trio as well. Mahiro is unrestricted, but Choso deliberately chooses to bind himself to his family, and his blood ties. Unlike Mahito he’s genuinely upset when he loses those ties and feels an obligation to kill Yuji to destroy them. He literally even uses blood as his weapon, and blood is a symbol of connection. This makes him the super-ego, because he’s the overly restrained and critical one.

Jogo, the middle ground between those two extremes who is also the only one trying to stick to the plan is the ego. While he’s the one trying to remain logical, it’s also easy to appeal to his curse nature and just like it’s the ego’s job to negotiate between the Id, and Superego, Jogo is the Ego because he serves as the middle ground between the two extremes who keeps their long term goal in mind.

Mahito can only think of his goal in the short term, and Choso can only think of the family ties he’s obligated to uphold, which makes the role of being the one to reconcile them both into looking at the big picture falls to Jogo.

Jogo is still a curse ultimately though, and he’s easily persuaded by Mahito’s appeal to desire rather than his logic.

Despite being capable of logical decision making Jogo is ultimately, prey to his impulsive nature as a curse. He doesn’t want to lose at the game, or left behind from all the others, or deny his desires and because of that he gets lured by Mahito into making the illogical move.

If in humans the conscious mind is the ruler, and the shadow is the subject then its the reverse in curses. The shadow is the ruler, desire will trump everything else while conscious mind will always fall underneath the rule of desire. Curses are capable of thinking and being logical, but they don’t have the switch that lets them repress themselves like humans do, and that’s what makes them so deadly.

#mahito #jogo #choso #jujutsu kaisen #suguru getou #curses #jujutsu kaisen meta #jjk icons #jujutsu kaisen theory #jjk meta

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rcsiers · 3 years

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( cis man | he/him | keith powers ) —— isn’t that EVAN ROSIER? yeah that is them, sitting there at the SLYTHERIN table with those other SEVENTH years. when sybill looks into that crystal ball of hers, she sees bruised knuckles hidden by gold jewelry, kissing strangers, sun reflecting off a freshly waxed broom, the thrill of playing with fire, riling up others on purpose, confidence that could kill, fascination with darkness. anyway i’ve heard they’re pretty AUDACIOUS, ARROGANT, and EXPLOSIVE. apparently they’re a VENIT TEMPESTAS / DEATH EATER and PUREBLOOD but i’m sure that’s not related. —— [ leah : gmt+1 : 21 : she/her ]

⤜ BASICS.

full name: evan aurelius laurentis rosier birthday: march 15th, 1959 zodiac: aries gender: cis man pronouns: he/him/his sexuality: heterosexual extra: beater for slytherin’s quidditch team

⤜ PHYSICAL.

height: 6′2 weight: 182.3 lbs. eyes: brown hair: dark brown/black piercings: both ears, usually wearing small gold hoops tattoos: right bicep, right upper leg and calf, left calf, upper back, dark mark on his left wrist

⤜ PERSONALITY.

positive: bold, confident, audacious, intelligent, creative, playful, passionate, charming, flirty. negative: impulsive, invincibility-complex, cocky, selfish, self-centered, emotionally unavailable, temperamental, dishonest. short description: to evan, the world is his oyster. it revolves around him. the rosier family is the epitome of perfection personified, and evan was raised to carry that perfection on his back. he’s gotten good at putting up that façade though – creating the illusion that he’s just another perfect member of the rosiers. on the outside, he’s the picture of perfection and grace – just like the family mantra. when, in reality, he’s self-destructive. he’s quite the opposite of what his parents would like him to be. his confidence bleeds into unabashed arrogance, he believes he’s invincible to everything – the law and even death. not to mention, you can’t trust a single thing that spills from those pretty lips of his. he likes to live life on the edge and does anything for the thrill of it; or simply, because he can.

⤜ BIOGRAPHY.

evan is the second-born and only son of ambroise & irene rosier. he’s got a sister older by two years, josephine. evan’s childhood was nothing short of perfect. his parents showered him and his sister with anything they could have ever wanted. his birthday was always the event of the year, with a gala being thrown by the rosiers in his name. it was no surprise that evan turned out to be arrogant and disregarded other people’s opinions and feelings; there were barely any consequences for evan’s actions and he simply felt on top of the world.

he was taught, by any means necessary, the importance of good behavior and self-image – because his self-image directly reflected the family image, and the rosier family couldn’t be anything short of perfect and graceful. it’s the family mantra after all, right? unfortunately, evan didn’t like being told what to do. he had a knack for trouble and destruction. during his first year at hogwarts, he’d already gotten himself more detentions than his father ever has for his entire stay at the castle. it didn’t help that evan tended to get violent sometimes and became somewhat of a bully. irene would excuse each of his mistakes - so evan would never learn. ambroise taught him how to lie and have better control of his impulses instead of dealing with the problem. eventually evan would learn how to lie to his parents as well.

evan got the dark mark sometime during his fifth year. to him, blood purity was less about blood and more about social status. but at the end, evan wasn’t too concerned with the well-being of others, those outside of his circle. he was ambitious and knew what he wanted of life; he saw the death eaters as a hobby, a way to show off his skills in dark magic and have some fun. perhaps he just doesn’t realize how serious it all is, but evan was never one to take life seriously.

⤜ WANTED CONNECTIONS.

exes: maybe an ex-girlfriend that his parents had set him up with in high school, they probably had a toxic relationship because neither of them wanted to be in it. or maybe it was toxic but your muse wanted to be in it, actually loved evan despite how he treated her. another ex – someone he actually wanted to be with and probably loved despite his parents not really accepting that relationship.

friends: most likely other purebloods or slytherins. evan’s usual social circle.

the bro: his true bromance – otb. this has been his best friend since first year or perhaps since they were children, they’ve been through everything together and they’re still as thick as thieves.

the sis: his girl best friend, it’s always been platonic between the two of them.

enemies

friends with benefits: this one’s pretty self-explanatory. layer in some angst with some of these relationships and we’re cooking with grease!

betrothed: evan’s still a gentleman when he wants to be, but one thing he doesn’t appreciate is having his freedom taken away. he’ll be respectful of the girl, but make it pretty clear that this marriage is just him doing his duty and he’s not likely to change his ways.

#petrificus.intro

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itsjustmyron · 5 years

Text

Natural Laws

The Underground Man calls the laws of nature the stone wall against which impregnable edifice we must all supplicate ourselves.

Moreover: then, you say, science itself will teach man (though this is really a luxury in my opinion) that in fact he has neither will nor caprice, and never did have any, and that he himself is nothing but a sort of piano key or a sprig in an organ; and that, furthermore, there also exist in the world the laws of nature; so that whatever he does is done not at all according to his own wanting, but of itself, according to the laws of nature.

Consequently, these laws of nature need only be discovered, and then man will no longer be answerable for his actions, and his life will become extremely easy. Needless to say, all human actions will then be calculated according to these laws, mathematically, like a table of logarithms, up to 108,000, and entered into a calendar; or, better still, some well-meaning publications will appear, like the present day encyclopedic dictionaries, in which everything will be so precisely calculated and designated that there will no longer be any actions or adventures in the world.

And it is then – this is still you speaking – that new economic relations will come, quite ready-made, and also calculated with mathematical precision, so that all possible questions will vanish in an instant, essentially because they will have been given all possible answers. Then the crystal palace (reference to the theory of "rational egoism" set forth in Chernyshevsky's The Anthropological Principle in Philosophy (1860); the episodes of the "bumped officer" and the "rescued prostitute") will get built. Then . . . well, in short, then the bird Kagan (reference to a bird which is a bringer of happiness in folklore) will come flying. Of course, there's no guaranteeing (this is me speaking now) that it won't, for example, be terribly boring then (because what is there to do if everything's calculated according to some little table?), but, on the other hand, it will all be extremely reasonable.

And since all wantings and reasonings can indeed be calculated – because, after all, they will someday discover the laws of our so-called free will – then consequently, and joking aside, something like a little table can be arranged, so that we shall indeed want according to this little table.

Einstein and Bergson

Einstein believed in what he called a “cosmic religion” — less a religion than what Einstein called a “rapturous amazement at the harmony of natural law, which reveals an intelligence of such superiority that, compared with it, all the systematic thinking and acting of human beings is an utterly insignificant reflection. " [Einstein’s letter belittling God and religion will be auctioned for $1 million or more, What he wrote]

Einstein obsessively searched for unity in the universe, believing that science could reveal its immutable laws and describe them in the simplest possible way. Gerald Holton, Thematic Origins of Scientific Thought; Kepler to Einstein (Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University Press, 1973).

Conditions which have proved useful for ordering things easily assume so great an authority over us, that we forget their terrestrial origin and accept them as facts. They then become labelled as 'conceptual necessities', 'a priori situations', etc. The road of scientific progress is frequently blocked for long periods by such errors. It is therefore not just an idle game to exercise our ability to analyze familiar concepts, and to demonstrate the conditions on which their justification and usefulness depend, and the ways in which these developed, little by little.—Einstein (1916)

According to Bergson, Nature is dynamic. In a sense it is also purposive, though he asks us to understand this without personifying it into a conscious intent. Nature is a living whole, continually self-creating; and the vital impulse (Élan vital) is that thrust of life which has elaborated itself into organisms of increasing complexity, ever tending towards consciousness, finally emerging into reflexive self-awareness: Nature whose crown is man.—Ruth Nichols, The Problems of Language and Intuition in Bergson's Philosophy.

Bergson, in contrast, claimed that the ultimate mark of the universe was just the opposite: never-ending change.

For our Duration is not merely one instant replacing another; if it were, there would never be anything but the present—no prolonging of the past into the actual, no evolution, no concrete duration. Duration is the continuous progress of the past which gnaws into the future and which swells as it advances.

An all-pervading mechanism

Man is not free to not choose his course—Charles Baudouin

There is an "all-pervading mechanism" whereby all movements of matter are controlled.

Just as the structure, form, and convention of art (its rules) liberate the artist, and it is the feeling of the human spirit trying to break free of the constrictions which gives art its power, man is all the more powerful because he is not free—hedged in by laws and restrictions, imposed from within and without.

All successful men have agreed in one thing—they were causationists. They believed that things went not by luck, but by law; that there was not a weak or cracked link in the chain that joins the first and the last of things... The most valiant of men are the best believers in the tension of the laws.—Ralph Waldo Emerson, The Conduct of Life

#natural law #fyodor dostoevsky #einstein #time #science

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ted-hyung · 7 years

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nielwink hitman au (I enjoy your writing a lot!! honestly it doesnt have to be hitman au but nielwink is all I need)

anon-sshi i, forthe love of god, am too mild for hitman!au. here, have a 2.5k fluffy bodyguard!auinstead.

feat. another thug!daehwi, lame bodyguards, jihoon being a teenager, a girl group member, glorified age AND size-difference, all the good stuffs for sunday. plz comment, likes, and reblogs, tell your friends about my fics etc ʕ – ㉨ – ʔ ʕ – ㉨ – ʔ ʕ – ㉨ – ʔ

also tagging le queen @6ungjin tell me whachu think imma on a roll.

one of the newbodyguards looks like a big dog. no. an overgrownpuppy. oh my god, jihoon thinks, ashe hides a grin behind his hands and steals another glance at the man who isso, so big and wide. his glaring ash blonde hair further convinces jihoon thathe’s a… samoyed puppy? or maybe a golden retriever? ugh, especially when hesmiles and his eyes disappear like he just demonstrated over somethingjisung-hyung says. the apples of his chubby cheeks aren’t helping his cute appearance at all! he doesn’t looklike a bodyguard no matter how much black attires he’s wearing from head totoe! jihoon is weak for cute things!

“bro, controlyourself,” daehwi hisses from his left. he’s speaking without moving his lips,a talent that he’s mastered for variety show appearances but actually comes inhandy at situations like these. everyone’s been picking up his talent andchecking out girl group members are easier nowadays god bless lee daehwi andthe entire k-pop industry.

“what the fuck?”jihoon hisses back, coughing a little to cover up his never-ending grin andmostly his portrayed image as this aegyo machine who’s just oh so pure and innocent—not the foul-mouthed prettyboy he really is.

“you’repractically vibrating,” daehwi says while pretending to look down to his phone.“he’s cute, i know. i want to hug him too. but seriously control yourself.don’t scare him away on his first day.”

“shut up itagged him first.”

“no, you’renot.”

on his right,jinyoung hisses at them as he opens a bag of potato chips loudly, “guys,please. just share him, we still have dongho-hyung, remember?”

daehwi hums,acknowledging his slip. dongho-hyung is their favorite bodyguard who’scurrently on leave due to sickness—lies,they know he got knocked over by a horde of fangirls with folding chairs andexpensive cameras when they were at incheon airport last week—thus the reasonwhy management is hiring two new bodyguards in the name of kang daniel(jihoon’s, thank you very much), and im youngmin, a smiley but tall and just aswide, if not wider, man with red hairand huge hands.

now, don’t getthem teenage boys wrong. living the lush life of being an idol can be lonely;they stutter when they try to talk to any girl groups and they can’t reallymake friends with another boy group since they’re still new, the still need toestablish a solid fanbase before worrying about befriending their literal‘rivals’. they—jihoon, daehwi, jinyoung, samuel, and euiwoong aka boy’sgeneration, the nation’s hottest idol to date—are all lucky to have a superhilarious manager-hyung slash talkative uncle who takes a good care of him.jisung-hyung was once a trainee who got denied his chance to debut thrice, andvowed to be a good manager to every groups he’s managed and he did. boy’sgeneration saw with their own eyes how red velvet girl group members, yes, the red velvet from sm entertainment,always flock around jisung-hyung like he’s their mama bird every time theyhappen to run into each other in music shows recording because he was theirmanager for a long, long time before he got transferred to manage boy’sgeneration.

anyway, besidesjisung-hyung, they also have kind-hearted stylist noonas and hairstylist noonasto talk to in between hectic schedules. choreographer-hyungs and don’t forgetcafeteria staffs.

and then there’sdongho-hyung and his team.

real men in suits with muscles, notjisung-hyung and his bb cream compact but don’t tell jisung-hyung that or elsethey will be denied late night sneaky snacks.

okay, so! realmen! because dongho-hyung is menacingwith the sides of his head shaved and cool tattoos, lots of them! he doesn’tshave and doesn’t moisturize at night! euiwoong once looked him up on naversearch and found that he had black belt in taekwondo and got an honorable medalfrom the navy because he helped rescuing a north korean refugee from drowningat the yellow sea. wow, right? daehwieven talks about him a lot on interviews, saying that he aspires to be as manly as one of boy’s generationbodyguards so please wait for me blooming as a real man a little bit longer,guys, saranghae~

daehwimonopolizes dongho-hyung all by himself whenever they have a vacation, sittingnext to him in the plane and clinging to dongho-hyung’s thick arms as they tryto swim across beastly fangirls waiting for them at the airport. dongho-hyunghas three people with him, all looking like they can kill with their gaze butis actually a sap. there’s wonshik-hyung who talks too fast, gets confused bywhat he says, and teasing him is boy’s generation favorite pastime. next, theyhave taekwoon-hyung; the quietest, the scariest, but also the sweetest when itcomes to tending any of boy’s generation needs. he’s got a soft spot forjinyoung who blurts out random nonsense at times that never fails to crack himup, and jinyoung even introduced taekwoon-hyung to his cousin-noona. the lastone in the bodyguard team is shinwoo-hyung, an actual bear personified. he’ssquishy and wide, sleeps a lot, and lets samuel and euiwoong braid his longhair.

jihoon is closeto all of them, but he wants one just for himself. kang daniel seems like agood candidate because im youngmin looks like he’ll be strict despite hisoverall soft-looking appearance.

ʕ – ㉨ – ʔ

nothing majorhappens.

daniel-hyung, asit turns out, is a dork. he’s a big fan of harry potter the series and he anddaehwi are bonding over their favorite book; harry potter and the goblet offire. he speaks english too, and if jihoon is a lesser man—boy—he would havehidden all of daehwi’s shoe lifts because daehwi’s been looking so smug afterhe talks to daniel-hyung about finding nemo or other american stuffs jihoondoesn’t really care. youngmin-hyung, true to his prediction, is the gentlestand smartest and prefers to tutor them instead of fully doing their mathhomework (shinwoo-hyung did it before but their grades didn’t actuallyskyrocketed ha ha ha).

jihoon is bored.

he’s recording apopular eating show alone today as a special guest alongside a girl groupmember who made jihoon’s heart skipped a beat the first time he got a good lookof her smooth, long legs clad only in a pair of pastel pink colored tennisskirt. she’s super nice, not overly friendly or even touchy with boyish cutblack hair and orange tinted lips, but jihoon can’t afford to be comfortablewith an opposite gender now. probably not ever until they’re years into keepingboy’s generation relevant.

jisung-hyungcan’t go with him because the rest of the members are filming an openingsegment for their newest variety show, boy’sgeneration 101, that jihoon had filmed prior this schedule. daniel-hyunggot assigned to accompany him instead and he’s being chummy with the girl’smanager-noona, both standing underneath the shade of the years old oak treejust across the road, looking like a movie star with a simple black polo shirtand black bermuda pants. jihoon notices that daniel-hyung’s calves are just assmooth as the girl’s and he chokes on a quiet laughter.

“hi.”

jihoon yelps,and the girl apologizes for startling him.

“no no, it’sokay,” jihoon splutters, standing up from the plastic chair he’s sitting. he’sjust barely a couple of inches taller than her and it’s making him sad. “hi.hello.”

the girl,ahreum, smiles and it’s not a flirty kind of smile. jihoon hopes he doesn’thave a chili stuck in between his teeth or something when smiles back at her.

ahreum says,“the PD-nim told me we’ll be back filming in ten minutes.”

“right, whew. ican’t wait to have the dessert to be honest,” jihoon nods, thanking the godsthat his stutter isn’t as severe as samuel that foolish maknae. “um. what wasyour favorite dish?”

“i loveeverything,” ahreum giggles, “i just love seafood so much. you’re allergic toshrimps, right?”

they’re filming,you guess it right, in busan. it’s dongho, daniel, and youngmin-hyung’shometown. jihoon is not even a big fan of seafood but at least he could enjoyeverything else that wasn’t shrimp. the dessert is some unique flavor, homemadeice cream. jihoon loves sweets and he’s going to eat a lot because jisung-hyungis not here with him to watch his sugar intake. the agency told him to lose acouple of weights because he looks bloated lately. it’s the goddamn chocolatebars jihoon bought on impulse the last time he got his paycheck. tch.

“are youthirsty?” ahreum asks, “let’s go to 7-11 just down the road. i’ll treat youcola.”

as much asjihoon loves cola, he can’t have it due to his sugar diet. “can i have pocarisweat instead?”

ahreum nods,smiling. she’s pretty. “anything you want.”

jihoon tellshimself not to blush like a pre-pubescent boy. “um, wait here. i have to telldaniel-hyung,” he says, putting his hands in the pockets of his sponsored denimshorts.

ahreum looksover to where her manager and daniel-hyung are still talking, and comments,“your bodyguard, right? he’s really handsome.”

jihoon, in lieuof snorting in annoyance, blurts out, “he’s a dork tho.”

“still.”

yeah, well.

daniel-hyung iscrossing his arms on his chest; they’re bulging heavily unlike jihoon’stwig-like ones. he doesn’t wear any makeup but his skin is flawless and jihoonenvies him for sweating freely, while he has to be careful not to smear his bbcream away whenever he dabs his sweat with tissues. daniel-hyung smiles whenjihoon approaches near, and the manager-noona greets him politely.

“ahreum and iare going to the 7-11,” jihoon says, “do you want something, hyung?”

daniel-hyung’sanswer is immediate, “i’ll go with you.”

ooo…kay?

jihoon frowns.“it’s just down the road,” he waves a hand to the general direction of theroad, even though truthfully he hasn’t seen a 7-11 near the dessert house.

daniel-hyungtilts his head, a very cute habit that makes him look more and more like anovergrown puppy. if only he’s not being annoying right now, jihoon would havebeen squealing. in his head.

but he’s beingannoying right now.

“right,whatever.” jihoon mumbles and makes a u-turn, and he hears a loud horn ananosecond before he realizes he’s being held back by daniel-hyung’s strong andheavy arms. someone curses out loud but jihoon’s ears are ringing with howdeafening his heartbeats are. he wasn’t looking and he almost got hit by aspeeding motorcycle, all because he thought daniel-hyung, who saved his life,was being annoying for wanting to go to 7-11 with him and ahreum.

…

daniel-hyungsmells like baby powder.

“jihoon! are youokay?!” that’s ahreum, eyes as big as saucers as she runs towards him but notbefore looking both ways for any vehicles. jihoon gets a glance of the eatingshow crew in a various state of shock, and daniel-hyung is still holding him upwith gentle hands because jihoon doesn’t think he can stand upright without ahelp anyway.

“ahjusshi, is heokay?” ahreum asks, addressing daniel-hyung formally. weirdly. daniel-hyung is only twenty seven years old, exactly tenyears older than jihoon but his birthday is on december. he’s an oppa, really,not ahjusshi.

…

did jihoon tellyou already that daniel-hyung smells like baby powder? because he really does.

“he’s alright,he’s fine,” daniel-hyung sighs, softly, like he doesn’t want to spook jihoonmore if he speaks in a normal tone. “jihoon-ah? can you hear me?” he asks,carefully maneuvering jihoon in his arms, cupping jihoon’s face with his gentlehands that smells like milk. probably his hand cream.

jihoon blinks atthe question, and a tear falls.

ahreum makes adistressed sound as daniel-hyung envelopes him in a hug. he’s so warm, sogenerous with how he strokes jihoon’s hair to reassure him that he’s stillhere, safe and sound. jihoon wraps his arms around daniel-hyung’s torso, nailsdigging onto the fabric and the thickness of daniel-hyung’s skin, vaguelyrecalling whispers from ahreum and her manager-unnie and soon enough the PD-nim’sconsolation that they will hold the filming until jihoon recovers from hisshock. jihoon wants to go home. he wants to curl up on his bed with hisfavorite polar bear plushy and a bar of dark chocolate cadbury. he wants toerase his makeup and sleep with a clay mask he got from his fans. but mostimportantly, he doesn’t want daniel-hyung to let him go.

ʕ – ㉨ – ʔ

nothing majorhappens after that.

it takes jihoonapproximately a week and a half to get back to his old self, to get over thehumiliation of his own childish view of life that almost cost him his life or aleg or worse; his face. daniel-hyungnever brings up the issue and he seems to pay more attention to jihoon eversince. he volunteers to accompany jihoon on his next personal schedule and he’salways the first to reply to jihoon’s question on their group chat, actuallycoming over with a bag of cheetos when jihoon jokingly asked for it, summerthunderstorm be damned.

he looks like awet, overgrown puppy as he shows up on the front door and jihoon pouts, whiningand pulling him inside where it’s warm and jisung-hyung just cooked spaghettiand kimchi soup.

“i’m sorry!”jihoon squeals as he runs to his room to get towels. euiwoong is eyeing himfrom the top bunk, one earphone dangling as he monitors their latest music bankperformance like a good leader he is.

“are you talkingto me?” euiwoong asks.

“no,daniel-hyung is here. he brought cheetos!”

“what the…”euiwoong sits up. “cheetos that you asked on group chat? and what are youdoing?”

“towels! can iborrow yours? i’ll laundry it tomorrow.”

“bottom shelf.”

jihoon grabs twowhite towels embroidered in his and euiwoong’s initials—the perks of livingwith four other boys and one adult in one apartment, they can’t risk sharinggerms thus the territorial towels—and runs back to the front door wheredaniel-hyung is laughing at something jisung-hyung says.

“yah, thisbrat!” jisung-hyung scolds jihoon, but he’s helping daniel-hyung pattinghimself dry. “and you! you didn’t think to use any umbrella or what?”

“i was alreadyout,” daniel-hyung sniffs, concentrating on his hair. “thanks, jihoon-ah.”

jihoon nods,tongue-tied mostly because he was just joking about craving cheetos yet herethey are.

jisung-hyungclaps his hands. “oh, right! how was the date?”

daniel-hyunglaughs and tells them that she ditched him. jisung-hyung gasps, scandalized,and proceeds to rant about how dare she to passover someone as hot as kang daniel! and daniel-hyung laughs again, hiswhole body shaking with the mirth.

…

um.

what?

what was that?

why did jihoon’sheart skip a beat at the sight? is he for real?he’s seen daniel-hyung laughs multiple times before! why now, park jihoon, why?!

#nielwink #winkniel #wanna one #kang daniel #park jihoon #wanna one fic #wanna one scenarios #kpop fic #* le post #drabble #kudos to maself i'm on a fucking roll this week god bless me

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pussymagicuniverse · 6 years

Text

Demystifying the “Crazy Girl"

We all know a “crazy” girl. You know the one I’m talking about. The clingy one who sends a hundred texts if she doesn’t hear back within five minutes, the manipulative one who fakes a pregnancy to keep her partner from leaving her, the emotional outburst one who throws plates when she’s angry. Think Britney Spears’ 2007 shaved head or Amy Elliot Dunne from Gone Girl. The Urban Dictionary definition for “crazy bitch” reads:

“...more likely to attack your psyche than your person. She will do things that make completely no sense and not care that she is doing them. She is very selfish, and while she realizes this, she, again, doesn't care.”

This archetype is everywhere, from popular culture to the academic world (see Jennifer Berdahl’s essay “The Crazy/Bitch Narrative About Senior Academic Women”) to our day-to-day interactions. I’m pretty sure every guy I’ve ever met at some point in our interactions has dropped the phrase, “All girls are crazy.” There’s even that ridiculous 2014 “hot-crazy matrix” video in which the narrator measures “hot-ness” on a typical 1-10 scale, but measures “craziness” on a 4-10 scale because “there’s no such thing as a woman who’s not at least a ‘four’ crazy.” We’re seen as crazy for having feelings, for having desires, for establishing boundaries, for getting upset - we are written off as “crazy” for essentially any emotional response we exhibit.

In a New York Times article called “Men Are Crazy for Women Who Are, Too” by Rick Marin, Adam Platt describes the “crazy” girl as “High-energy, brainy, self-destructive women who came from tortured family situations.” To me, this description rings of a woman who has suffered and is unsure how to navigate that pain, so she lashes out and behaves erratically. However, because we’ve created this archetype of “crazy girl,” many women are unable to recognize that those behaviors often come from a place of mental unwellness and are unable to get help they may need.

“We’re seen as crazy for having feelings, for having desires, for establishing boundaries, for getting upset - we are written off as ‘crazy' for essentially any emotional response we exhibit." (click to tweet)

To truly understand how this process plays out, I believe it is important to deconstruct typical “crazy girl” behavior and recognize what those actions could be symptoms of. For example, the clingy crazy girl, who is constantly bombarding a guy with texts and calls, or the manipulative one who fakes a pregnancy. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) is essentially the dictionary for mental illness. It lists professionally recognized disorders and gives diagnostic criteria for each. One of the diagnostic criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder is “frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.” So it is possible to imagine that women who behave in this way are not simply “crazy”; rather, their behavior is fueled by an underlying mental illness.

Rick Marin’s New York Times article goes on to list several different types of “crazy” women that men are typically attracted to. He describes a woman he went out with who told him, “the C.I.A. was recruiting her as a courier. They hadn’t communicated with her yet, but she was convinced they were going to.” A diagnostic criteria of bipolar disorder is manic grandiose notions, such as thinking you can fly or that you’re the next coming of the messiah or, even, that the C.I.A. is recruiting you to be a courier. However, even in the article, Marin dismisses this behavior as being part of his date’s “crazy girl” allure and makes no comment on how the woman could very well have been suffering from symptoms of a mental illness.

Another common crazy girl motif that’s often personified in movies and TV shows is drug and alcohol abuse. Most recently, I’ve seen this played out in the Sharp Objects TV show, in which the main character is coping with childhood trauma by excessively drinking vodka from an Evian water bottle. Substance abuse should not be treated as a type of manic pixie dream girl personality trait; it is itself a recognized mental illness, though it also often crops up as a symptom of a variety of other illnesses. However, Marin also notes this version of crazy girl in his article, explaining that men are attracted to her because “she looks like she needs taken care of.”

“Substance abuse should not be treated as a type of manic pixie dream girl personality trait" (click to tweet)

Having broken down a few behaviors that are often smacked with the “crazy girl” label, I think it’s easy to see that women whose behavior fit this archetype are more often than not likely suffering mental unwellness. These are women whose brains are rioting against them and causing them to act impulsively and destructively. Unfortunately, the creation and reinforcement of the “crazy girl” culture more often deters these women from being able to recognize that. When a woman is called crazy, I believe she responds in one of two ways: she either embraces it and plays into it, or she is abhorred that a man would view her that way and does everything she can to appear unemotional and unattached. Under patriarchal pressure, being desirable to the male gaze has too frequently been the ultimate goal for women, so we often submit to this stereotype in whatever way necessary, even in so far as ignoring our own mental health.

In pop culture, the crazy girl character has become entangled with sexual desirability. Just think of the 2006 song, “Crazy Bitch,” by Buckcherry:

“You're a crazy bitch

But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it

When I dream, I'm doing you all night

Scratches all down my back to keep me right on”

This connection between “crazy girl” behavior and being more sexually appealing to men has caused many women to lean into turbulent and destructive behavior and borderline embrace it. I am all for the reclamation of toxic patriarchal slurs, but in this case, when a woman buys into the crazy girl stereotype and amps up her impulsive actions as a way of getting attention from men, she is heavily deterred from recognizing that those behaviors may have roots in undiagnosed mental illness. She wants to be sexy and society teaches her that this behavior makes her more desirable, so she accepts the label, shouts it from rooftops, and indulges in clinginess, manipulation, emotional instability, substance abuse, et cetera. In doing so, she is at risk for lending herself to even more unwell emotions and behavior.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, you have women who will hide all the parts of them that they think are or will be perceived as undesirable: their feelings, their desires for monogamy and consistent communication, their understandable need for emotional validation––so as not to seem “crazy.”

Referring to a woman as “crazy” is a form of gaslighting that can lead to a disconnect with herself which, in turn, can contribute to mental illness. Gaslighting is defined as “a form of psychological abuse in which a manipulator systematically denies someone else’s reality in order to control feelings, behaviors, and activities of another person.” Dismissing a woman’s emotions by calling her crazy can cause her to come unhooked from her sense of self and her understanding of reality, which is very threatening to one’s mental health. I dealt with this for many years when I was casually dating. I wouldn’t tell men how I felt about them or the relationship, I would overthink and over-control how often I was communicating with them, I would never allow myself to be upset when they blew me off or didn’t return my calls. I kept all those emotions bottled up which was ultimately a huge detriment to my mental health. I found myself unable to communicate to people when I was struggling and incapable of reaching out for support in my darkest moments.

“Dismissing a woman’s emotions by calling her crazy can cause her to come unhooked from her sense of self and her understanding of reality, which is very threatening to one’s mental health." (click to tweet)

Ultimately, I don’t think there is such a thing as a “crazy girl.” I think women are referred to as crazy for one of two reasons: a) they aren’t playing their gender role and men are threatened and displeased by that or b) their behavior is actually a symptom of mental illness. I know so many women who are struggling and suffering and, as someone who has found a great deal of solace and healing in therapy, I often recommend it. However, the response I often get is, “Oh, I don’t need therapy. I’m not mentally ill, I’m just crazy.” This label both allows us and forces us to ignore the signals our bodies and minds are giving us that something is not right in our mind. It is my hope that we as a culture stop dismissing women’s behavior as “crazy” and instead, encourage ourselves and each other to seek healing in whatever form that feels right to us.

Ailey is a poet, editor, bartender and contributing writer for Pussy Magic. In Gaelic, her name means "ray of light" and she works to practice that in every interaction. She's an empath who is passionate about mental health awareness and self-compassion and acceptance. She dabbles in tarot and hopes to one day write a book of poetry about it. She lives in North Carolina with her dog Clementine. Check out her website aileyotoole.com for more.

#stereotypes #women #crazy woman #crazy stereotype #liberation #freedom #feminism #patriarchy #fighting the patriarchy #reclaiming womanhood

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