I had plans but there’s a less popular continuation for that meme and…

the real dark urge

I was so sad after the date with Karlach in Act 3, can’t get it out of my mind 😭

Karlach: combination girlfriend and space heater.

My Love All Mine...🎔 Full Render available on my patreon (NSFW)

he's up there cus he doesn't want mud on his boots. no other reason.

Karlach is pining for touch. Astarion would satiate her needs to ensure his safety. And by the time he can finally fulfill her need, he realizes it's not her protection he is after. Not any longer. His feelings have changed. It is her heart he yearns for. And it horrifies him more than Cazador ever could.

Elfsong inn only has 1 bed🤯🤯🤯

For @sailorgundam308

ahem ahem aheeem..... ermmmm as a poly party enthusiast, would youuuu possibly have any more headcanons on the tadpolycule? 👀👀👀 thank you so much!!!

YES I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS. i’ll go character by character for headcanons and how i imagine different dynamics.

tadpolycule headcanons!

shadowheart is basically programmed to be non-monogamous and extremely repressed at the same time. it’s just sex and physical attraction with astarion and karlach until it isnt and then things get complicated. the idea of casual openness throughout the camp is comforting to her— clearly if they were interested in pursuing other partners that meant whatever they had with shadowheart wasn’t anything serious, right? she’s definitely closest to astarion and karlach but not at all opposed to fooling around with anyone else (maybe even aylin and isobel if they’re into it)

astarion isn’t sure about all this, but the lack of exclusivity is similarly comforting. he can make his own decisions about who he wants, what he wants, and when he wants it. he can decide that he’s craving a particular partner or type of play and he’ll have it damn near guaranteed. he’s showered in love from head to toe in every way he could possibly want it. the additional benefit to having flexibility in partners is that he never has to go without blood again, but he does have his preferences. shadowheart, halsin, and wyll are his top 3.

karlach has big feelings for everyone. shadowheart is her primary partner in the sense that their relationship is both romantic and sexual. when it comes to the rest of the group it’s usually one or the other; she has strong platonic bonds with wyll and gale that seldom cross into sexual territory, and sexual attraction to astarion and halsin thats more of an undefined grey area between romantic and platonic. she is also the group nicknamer; she will call you things and they will stick. shadowheart is shaddy or princess, astarion is fangs or stars, halsin is big guy or boss, wyll is prince charming, gale is teach

gale my absolute autistic legend does not even realize he’s included in whatever this is until it’s far too late. he can flirt yes, but being flirted with almost always goes over his head. gotta push my bladeweave agenda here by saying he’s ultimately closest to wyll, they’ve got some real friends to lovers/same trauma let’s kiss about it dynamic going on. as for the others i think he’s down horrific for shadowheart and halsin. has some weird sexually charged rivalry with astarion that’s mostly one-sided on astarion’s part. and karlach is just a solid bro

wyll is the group goody two-shoes without a doubt. he gets so easily flustered especially when it comes to astarion, karlach, and shadowheart. astarion flirts with him and poor wyll is a trainwreck, karlach is majorly physical once she’s able to be and it makes wyll’s heart race every time she hugs him, and shadowheart is so pretty it leaves him tongue tied. wyll’s a gentleman about everything too, he’ll give gale his coat as soon as he notices the wizard is shivering, insists that halsin take a rest and let him finish up chopping their firewood, etc.

halsin is the poly expert!!! he would absolutely be the one to give everyone else they language they need to discuss their relationships and boundaries. he’s the most sexually open of them all and doesn’t have any particular setbacks when it comes to sex; he’s happy to indulge anyone who wants him and let them indulge in whoever else they’d like. with halsin everything is super casual but intimate at the same time, all about pleasure and connection and enjoying life as nature intended. he’s the group service top and has definitely been called daddy at least once by everyone.

Why Astarion x Karlach?

I want to put some my stupid thoughts into words first of all for myself. In any case it's my blog part 2 / part 3 / part 4

Whenever I get into a new fandom I start looking for interesting characters and ships, because it's all what I need lol (no). Interesting specifically for me and yeah, I have a little specific taste. Astarion immediately catch my attention (and we all understand why) but I couldn't found good pair for him. My first human paladin girl Tav was too… boring. And even Durge female drow Tav was not good enough in my opinion, but I like her more than default Tav because of background, trauma and bloodlust. Anyway I needed someone from original Larian characters because It's make more sense for me (they have deeper history, personality, connection with world and etc) and I can be more in touch with fandom.

When I kept this point in my mind I was doing one of my durge playthrough and getting a lil bored. As a second option, I tried several new romances (Astarion should stay my true love in the end anyway) and Will and Gale did not impress me, then I accidentally chose the best girl Karlach. I always liked Karlach a lot, but never thought to romance her with my Tavs. And I was impressed… and then devastated after breaking up with her. Even Astarion judged me (and a healthy relationship is not his strong side). Well, I reloaded game like it's never happened but decided to make the baby fire girl happy with a love partner. But I also love Astarion... so I had no choice there. It was literally "now you two should kiss and be forever together, like mom and dad, argh"!

Before this I saw some hellspawn stuff in the internet ofc but didn’t get it. The first time I thought of them as a couple was when I heard Neil's responses in "Kiss, Marry, Kill". He told that Astarion would probably kiss Karlach. Wow. Why? And It may also have pushed me towards this. I have no regrets.

My BG3 ships in no particular order:

Karlach/Dammon

Astarion/Karlach

Karlach/Shadowheart

Astarion/Wyll

Shadowheart/Lae’zel

Halsin/Astarion (with or without Tav)

If I did fanfiction commissions, is that a thing people would want?

Taxes were pretty rough this year and I'm going to have a ton of moving expenses for the summer.

So are there people who would be interested in fanfiction commissions? And how much would you be willing to pay?

My OTP - Karstarion but sapphic

This whole 'feeling safe' thing is. Pretty nice. Actually.

[redraw of this sketch]

I am such a sucker for Astarion x Karlach due to multiple reasons and I am going to list a few here:

Their stories are extremely similar in terms of being forced into servitude and their bodily autonomy being fucked with, their bodies being used as objects (Karlach's body being turned into an Infernal weapon, Astarion's being turned into an Infernal ritual component and as bait for victims).

They both value freedom to an incredible degree (understandably) - Karlach seems to abandon herself in the moment while Astarion is immediately afraid this freedom will slip through his fingers.

Effeminate man with macho woman. Hot and cold. Posh and working-class. Black cat and golden retriever.

Even if they romance other people, there is an undeniable warmth between the two of them. They're going to be friends regardless.

Astarion's response when Karlach falls in battle "Karlach! You can't die - I won't let you die!" He sounds like he's WEEPING, Neil Newbon really delivers the "his heart is breaking and he's panicking" perfectly.

Her pet name for him is "leech".... just... fuckin' hell, Karlach. I love her.

They call each other "darling" unironically when romanced.

However, I definitely think Astarion can be very hurtful towards her, and his comments come from a place of vulnerability. There is SO much subtext to their relationship, and the devnotes really shows that. She offers a chance to take things slow, to remove sex from the early stages of the relationship, and he desperately wants that. He has no idea how to navigate this type of relationship, and he lashes out. I also love Karlach can push him right back ("Want to try that again without being a jackass?"/"Enough. You can't talk to me like that."). The fact he apologizes and admits he enjoys just talking with her. I dunno, like other people have said, it feels healing...

They also compliment each other's struggles since Astarion literally cannot touch her, so his usual seduction routine falls flat. Karlach is touch-starved but it's a rewarding alternative to take things slow, that she can feel a genuine connection. She's spent a decade in the Hells where genuine connections like friendships and romance are essentially a death sentence - you can never let your guard down - and now she finally can. Like, they both basically have to learn how to take things slow.

Guys I have decided to make my own Astarion x Karlach discord that is welcoming and supportive to all opinions of our ship and characters. I will send out a link when it is ready.