#the cool goth girl who probably SHOULD be in charge but also is maybe a little bit too happy to see her friends suffer (a little suffering) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

normal-thoughts-official · 3 years

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Oooh yeah the first time I was playing as a female mc because I wanted to romance ava and I usually go male mc if I want to romance a man and female mc if I want to romance a woman (and I think there was one book with where mc could be non-binary so I picked that one but I didn't finished the book), and Stacy's brother felt Hetero™ in a way, like Hollywood ish (? Honestly like cinematographicly bad hetero) but I ended up really loving Andy too, and Stacy felt a little flat but also I really liked her potential, like go crazy girl, and the mom issues.

Apart but holy shit you're 10000% right about that teacher like who inmediately threatens expulsion just like that for something not violent ??? And to an honor student with way too much on his plate ??? Obviously it would have been bad with any student, but you have literally the reason of why he's doing it and as a teacher HE LITERALLY COULD HAVE HELPED WITH IT ??????? Like something teachers can't really help students because it's a family thing only or is a financial struggle or etc but it was literally because of school (and his family, but the teacher could have heloed him with the school part)

(Identity thief anon (also I go by any pronouns ahhshs))

ur valid! that's lowkey what i wish i'd do (picking female MC if my fave LI is female and the other way around, i mean) but unfortunately i always go into the stories blindly having no idea what i'll find </3 so i cant really do that doiajdiosa and then i get attached for the MC i picked so i feel bad about changing their gender/name/appearance when i replay. so what i usually do is that i pick a male MC when i get the option because A- u don't always get the option, so i end up being male half the time and female half the time either way; and B- i feel slightly more comfortable with a male identity than a female one. like i'm still nonbinary and i wouldn't consider myself male aligned or within the gender of Man, but like... when i first came out i went by any pronouns but then because im afab everyone was like "cool, she/her only it is" so i was like fuck that and stopped using she/her. so i feel slightly more comfortable with a masc MC and end up going with that

there's also the fact that it always feels slightly genderfucky to have a male MC because choices is so sexist and also always writes the stories assuming ull pick a female MC, even when they give u the option not to. so when u pick a male MC he's very like not toxically masc and some things they add to make a QuiRkY MC that are very white woman and would feel annoying are actually kind of subversive for my black and brown male MCs. so like another win for queerness /j

ILITW MC in particular i feel has HUGE nonbinary vibes like no reason at all he just does <3 maybe it's just that for once the male clothes for ILITW actually fUCK. i wanna dress in that goth outfit <3 so gorgeous ugh. i love him even tho he's a fucking dumbass

also there's a book where an MC can be enby? worm? ive only ever read one book in choices with any enby characters at all (america's most elligible, books 2-3) but they weren't even a LI which is disappointing cuz they were a billion times superior to any of the LIs. sorry america's most elligible LIs fans

also oh connor IS the epitome of white cistraight man even when u play as a man tbh, like he was just so cistraight to me daouhdsaojdasij he kind of annoys me but also i forget that he even exists until he shows up onscreen and choices starts trying to push me into his lap and i'm just like, ugh, not again

and yeah i think i feel a similar way about stacy. i don't dislike her as a character and i don't feel like she as a character felt flat, her growth was very interesting and i loved seeing her start to challenge her mom like YESSS GO GIRL GIVE US EVERYTHING, she just felt flat as a LI to me ig? like idk i didn't feel chemistry between her and my MC personally, but also like, stacy girls are valid u know

right exactly. like i don't think ppl really understand that a school that doesn't drive people to cry during finals week and feel absolutely crushed by having to be there and that makes ppl feel like they're stupid, not enough, and overwhelmed IS IN FACT POSSIBLE and actually pretty easy to make when we stop treating students like statistics that will get the school more clients/funding (depending on whether it's a private or public school). and like as a teacher getting my degree in brasil it just feels completely surreal to me that anyone would see a student who's so overwhelmed by the amount of extracurriculars and responsibilities he feels like he has to take that he starts taking drugs to help his performance despite it affecting his health, and see that as like... something morally reprehensible? like it is bad that it happened but it's not the student's fault, what's morally reprehensible are the circumstances that led to his decision, not his decision

and like it is very much a systemic problem, more and more kids are taking focus pills to be able to survive the pressure of school and have a shot at a future, either on their own or because we are actually medicalizing not existing to be productive. and if it's a systemic problem then the fault is at the system?? and like holy shit i legit don't understand why choices gave us options like being like "it still isn't enough" when lucas gets rid of his pills, what do you mean it isn't enough??? enough for what??? to FORGIVE him???? for something that only hurt himself??? for something that is very much a systemic problem and therefore NOT HIS FAULT????? literally what the fuck even is this, lucas doesn't have to "make up" for a single thing, he needs to be HELPED is what he needs

like idk i know that the school system in the US is...... extremely backwards lmao which is not a term i like to use because it usually implies imperialistic views but the US is the height of world imperialism so like actually idc. brasil has a pretty progressive constitution and as a teacher my whole education was focused on being critical of the school system, particularly the productivity obsession, and drilling into us again and again that we aren't supposed to just be teaching subjects, we are also supposed to be teaching how to be a citizen, be a critical human being, work towards building a better future, and learning and growing AS A PERSON to be healthy and happy are values of the school system

like that's easier said than done when schools are under insane amounts of pressure by companies in practice to be productivity-driven, and most teachers who actually want to do a good job end up having to live at the edge of the knife and constantly fighting back outside pressure, but at least it is very much a mandatory part of our education to become teachers and also like literally part of the constitution. so i just... i can't fathom reacting the way mr cooper did? like as a teacher i felt BETRAYED, i felt like he shat all over my profession because that is the opposite of what we should be doing, this is a kid who needs help

and just like hOLY SHIT HE DID NOTHING WRONG, what are you punishing him for??? it's not even a like, stealing bread to feed your family situation, because what he did HAS NO VICTIM OTHER THAN HIMSELF, and therefore HE IS THE VICTIM NOT THE CULPRIT. he doesn't have to repent or atone or answer for a single fucking thing, he didn't victimize others, he doesn't have to apologize, there's nothing to punish him fOR??? like i don't believe in punishment anyway cuz im a prison abolitionist but doDAUSDJADASIJDAS???????????? HE DIDN'T. HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG. WHY IS THIS WHOLE GAME ACTING AS IF HE WAS IN THE WRONG. OH MY GOD

it's like saying that someone needs to be forgiven for self harming????? like how is it that someone has been hurt continuously until it led them to hurt themselves and then they have to? make up for it to a bunch of other ppl? my god it makes me so mad and i genuinely don't understand the logic, like usually when i see someone doing fucked up shit i can see the logic but i don't agree with it, but this time i genuinely DON'T SEE THE LOGIC. my USan friends said it was because he was technically doing drugs but like i legit still don't understand

anyway any school that drives a student to do something like that needs to rethink their entire curriculum and the psychological effect it's having on kids, because lucas is 1- not even the first one according to mr cooper; 2- even if he was, that'd be the only one who got CAUGHT; and 3- even if there was really only one singular student who went tHIS far, i doubt the others weren't feeling that same pressure and dealing with it in other similarly unhealthy ways

i know that's probably easier in brasil than in the US even if it's by no means easy here because here at least in public schools the curriculum and political-pedagogical plan has to be agreed on by the school community (teachers, parents, students, workers, and anyone who lives in the area of the school) and it's updated every year, so like, you have more means to do something to change the school in a deeper way, altho of course that still has to mean swinging the rest of the community, but still. but at the very least he could have looked for counseling for him? tried to find a way to take some of the workload off his shoulders? given him some more time on assignments? motioning for all the clubs he was the president of to have co-presidents so he was less overwhelmed?

like there was just daodsao he could have done so many things and he justs DIDN'T he chose to not only punish him instead but quite literally THREATEN HIM WITH DEATH because that's what calling the police on a latino student over a drug charge is. like he might've survived but the possibility that he would fucking DIE was very much there, and i know choices didn't think of that because they'd rather die than think about the racial implications of anything but holy fucking shit. and im not even getting into how mr cooper is BLACK because then ill just start biting people like thanks for putting that threat on a black character's mouth choices. if u need me ill be foaming at the mouth

anyway SORRY god why is it that i always get to the salty part within 2 seconds of joining a fandom i promise that i actually like it lives and the way they handled most of their plot, i genuinely think it's a very well written and actually worth ur time story but i just doadosaida like i said particularly as a teacher in the context where i'm being taught, plus with all my political beliefs, i just can't let it go aaaa

also ty for telling me ur pronouns! idk if i assumed them at any time, i don't think so but i might have done so without realizing and if i did im really sorry. also sorry for the gigantic salty reply daojdsaojdaisjsajdoadsaodasj rip me i never shut up

#it lives spoilers #ilitw spoilers #it lives #salt #long post #drugs tw #cops tw #police brutality tw #racism tw #victim blaming tw #anti connor green #ilitw #lucas thomas #ask #identity thief anon #self harm tw

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silentfcknhill · 4 years

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AtLA + LoK Villains Evilness Rating

(If you wanna dispute my ratings I’ll be happy to tell you why.)

ATLA:

Ty Lee - 0.5 /10

Cinnamon roll. Too pure for this world. Naïve and will put her faith in you 100%. Kind of ditzy but can take you down with no hard feelings. Needs to be liked by everyone. Is very flexible. Can strangle you with her legs and giggle while doing it. Chooses bad friends. Has frustratingly good luck.

Uncle Iroh- 1/10

Actual angel but could still open up a can of whoop-ass if necessary. Too supportive and forgiving. Loves tea, sitting around, speaking in proverbs and leading by example. Probably considers you a friend. Surprisingly powerful but mostly peaceful. Hard to provoke but if you do, just run. Fear the nice ones.

Jet- 3/10

Misguided and extreme but also traumatized. Don't get in his way. Kind of twisted and obsessive af. Ends justify the means, until they don't. Needs a proper role model and has potential. Can be unreasonable and is still kind of a jerk. Will gaslight you.

Prince Zuko- 3.5/10

Conflicted, violent and angsty but mostly needs a lot of reassurance. Has a major boner for his honor. Will freak out over nothing. Has been through a lot and will not be underestimated. Grumpy and willful af and won't listen to you until it's too late, then will blame you for misleading him.

June- 4/10

Might beat you up or kidnap you for money but it's nothing personal. Might insult you as a way of flirting. Looks pretty and delicate but don't be fooled. Can beat you up in a split second and not break a sweat. Will probably take all your stuff and never give it back. Lives for the tough girl aesthetic.

Mai- 5/10

Is just bored and over it all. Throwing knives is something to do. Apathetic and will probably just follow along with whatever including murder but will complain the entire time. Emo af. Would risk it all for a quick nap. Prone to bite your head off. Too smart for you and will let you know.

Wan Shi Tong- 6.5/10

A total dick. Tired of your shit and is judging you. Thinks humans are garbage and won't get involved with them until it suits him. Don't touch his books or he will literally eat you. Nerdiest bastard. Doesn't trust you so don't try any shit with him. Sees through your pathetic lies. Kind of an elitist.

Combustion Man- 7/10

Thinks blowing shit up is a form of art. Doesn't believe in communication. Very serious and focused. Do not fight him. Probably gets crapped on more than he deserves. A mystery wrapped in a bald head. Probably has a tattoo of the names of all the people he's killed and he's ready to add yours.

Hama- 7.5/10

Traumatized old hag. Created bloodbending but too crazy to do much with it now. May kidnap you and keep you in a dank hole forever. Seems sweet at first but is hiding a lot of secrets. Don't eat her cooking. Thinks sitting at home scheming is a job. Hates you for whatever small thing you did to her 57 years ago. Forgets nothing.

Long Feng- 8/10

Conniving af. Will brainwash you, lie to your face and maybe make you disappear. Wants everything and will plot to take it all. Perfectionist and control freak, will stab you in the back and you won't see it coming. Is tired of taking everyone's shit. Thinks he deserves better but he doesn't. Kills children.

Admiral Zhao- 8/10

Explosive temper. Huge egomaniac and narcissist. Hates the moon. Has probably killed a lot of people and fish and you're next. Will do whatever it takes. Won't listen to anything you say. Punch first, ask questions never. Jumps to a lot of conclusions, is usually wrong. Frequently embarrasses self.

Koh the Face-Stealer- 8.5/10

Terrifying and will probably steal your face. Do not approach. Too indifferent to chase you but can be sneaky af so watch your back. Doesn't handle emotions well. A total loner. The guy who knows everything but nobody wants to talk to. Fear him. To know him is to hate him. Makes you question everything.

Firelord Azulon- 9/10

Will order your execution on a whim and maybe a relative or two first for the appetizer. Do not question him. Will play favorites and call you out on things that are his fault. Overreacts and you should probably not be around when it happens. Disapproves of all your choices and is very vocal about this fact. Forces parents to kill their children.

Firelord Sozin- 9/10

Will commit genocide and take over the world while yelling at you for minor shit. Kind of a petty and jealous asshole. Even if you think he is your friend he isn't and is going to attack you. A big old bully with bad breath and a wonky beard. The original starter of all drama and certified instigator shitlord.

Princess Azula- 9/10

Unstable and manipulative. Sadist who thrives off of your fear and suffering. Will hurt you badly in all the ways. Avoid at all costs. Acts cold and calculating but really has no chill. Demands your respect but won't earn it. Trolling you gives her pleasure. The spawn of satan and loving it. Mommy issues to infinity.

Firelord Ozai- 9.5/10

Second worst dad ever. No soul. Will burn every tree and face to a crisp. Child abuse for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Actual sociopath. Will kill someone and banish you for it. Goatee comes first. Will project all his insecurities on you. Will tell everyone your secrets. World's biggest megalomaniac.

LOK:

Varrick- 3/10

Will probably lie, try to con you out of money, order you to do things for him and tell bad jokes but that's as far as it's gonna go. Eccentric and annoying af. Doesn't know when to shut up. Needs to learn some lessons in life. Attracts more trouble than he's worth. Has all the good gossip somehow.

Bataar Jr.- 3/10

The guy that nobody likes because he tries too hard and ends up ruining everything. Enjoys being a bitch. Wants to rebel but is bad at it. Do you love me now father? Tries to act like he doesn't care what you think but cares way too much. Will not kill you but might get engaged to your ex to spite you.

Police Chief Saikhan- 3.5/10

Will do anything you say for a price, except give a fuck. Doesn't really care about anything. Might arrest you just because he doesn't like you. The type to pretend he didn't hear you just to avoid responsibility. Likes to yell into things. Hates helping people. Is actually a giant rock in disguise.

Tahno- 3.5/10

A total prick. Has nicer hair than you and won't let you forget it. Very flamboyant and arrogant. Will gloat over being better than you at everything even though he cheated every time. Talks mad shit but can't walk the walk. Ultimately a big baby. Lowkey protect him. Wants to be the cool kid but isn't cool.

Desna- 4/10

Couldn't care less. Actual inanimate object. Lurks around for no reason. Hates everything and that includes you. Listens to his elders and would probably leave you for dead. Just wants to sleep. Secretly goth. Might actually be two small robots in a trenchcoat pretending to be human.

Councilman Tarrlok- 4.5/10

Attention whore with a savior complex. Smol bean who wants approval. Acts arrogant but is secretly depressed and self-loathing af. Stubborn and clingy emotional wreck with impulse control issues. Needs a hug. Will probably manipulate you through guilt or charisma. Wants to be Lucius Malfoy, but cries at night.

Hiroshi Sato- 5/10

Has lost sight of what's important. Total extremist. Will get revenge on you for something you didn't even do. Well respected and seems innocent but is plotting your downfall. Can build a whole army and take you down. Kind of a traitor. Loyalty is volatile. Thinks he always knows what's best for you but doesn't know shit.

The Lieutenant- 5/10

In way over his head. Wants to make a difference but has let bitterness take over. Will probably electrocute you. Puts his faith in the wrong people. Kind of snobby and will hold a grudge. 99 problems and benders are about 98 of them. Tired of being pushed around but still lets himself be pushed around. FLOPPY MUSTACHE.

Aiwei- 5.5/10

Thinks he's better than you and probably isn't. Wants to be sneaky but really is just too predictable. Boring af and tries to be unique but fails miserably. Lets everyone take advantage of him. Don't lie to him. Will harbor resentment and take it out on you at a random point in time. Discount Long Feng but not as smart or ambitious.

Eska- 5.5/10

Will stalk you aggressively. Thinks slavery is a relationship. Eyeliner sharp enough to kill. Never betray her or she will destroy you. Might use you as a footstool. Seems emotionally dead inside, but don't test her dormant waters. Uses everyone and feels no guilt. Hipster trash. No concept of boundaries or social interaction.

Ghazan- 6/10

Sarcasm game strong enough to fatally wound you. Doesn't say much. Has tree trunks for limbs and will probably use them to throw lava and rocks at you. Lowkey protective af. Don't get on his bad side. You can't get on his good side. Would rather kill everyone including himself than let you win an argument.

Zaheer- 6/10

A wannabe hippie but will still fight the system and you too. Don't try to control him. Gets annoyed when people breathe too loud. Is kind of a contradiction. Will literally blow you away. Anarchy equals freedom. Fuck the police. Can sit in the same spot for a really long time. Probably a flat earther.

Ming-Hua- 7/10

Has a significant disability but can still easily slaughter you. Innovative and sneaky af. As fast and agile as an actual lemur. A natural disaster wherever she goes. Doesn't listen to your advice. Overcompensates a lot. Probably her own worst enemy. Is quiet and likes to eavesdrop on your business.

Kuvira- 7.5/10

Wants to control everything. Who invited her to poop the party? Highkey evil and just plain mean. Will use your corpse as a decoration if you get in her way. Secretly petty and superficial af. Thinks social bonding is trying to seduce you in order to take charge of your life. Individuality punishable by death. Even other villains hate her.

P'Li- 7.5/10

Can explode you with her mind. Her gaze will pierce you to the core. Strong independent and violent woman who don't need a man but chooses to have one anyway. Will shave you off just like the sides of her hair. Has no problem fucking shit up. Boss bitch. Loyal to only a select few, so too bad for you.

Amon- 8/10

Charismatic but scary and mysterious af. Huge hypocrite. Will silently judge you. Powerful, selfish and cruel. Manipulative as hell and uses intimidation to get you to comply. Pretends to have empathy but really just wants control. Will cripple you physically and emotionally without warning. Knows all of your weaknesses but none of his own.

Earth Queen Hou-Ting- 8.5/10

The actual worst. Eats your pets for supper. Her yelling is the #1 cause of deafness worldwide. Will keep you prisoner and then have you killed for looking at her. The bossiest Drama Queen ever. Will be the cause of all your misery and will be proud of it. Bark is the same as her bite. Lots of daddy issues.

Chief Unalaq- 9/10

Religious extremist. Actually batshit insane. Wants to destroy the entire world. Has ascended from this pathetic plane of human existence. Loner whose only friends are invisible. Wants you to think he's just shy and misunderstood but NOPE. Knows what you want to hear and says it. Will sell you to satan for one cornchip.

Yakone- 9.5/10

Worst dad ever. Will either bloodbend you, try to live vicariously through you or both. Absolutely no redeeming traits except for being physically human. Abuse equals tough love. Might beat your ass for no good reason and expect your gratitude for it. Criminal mastermind with no conscience and all of the entitlement.

Vaatu- 10/10

Actually the devil. Literal incarnation of darkness and chaos. Ultimate troll and force of disaster in the world. Doesn't know any better, but still an asshole by choice. Will use you until you're no longer of value. Has a hard-on for destruction. Likes to play the victim. Will consume your soul and burp loudly.

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unfortunate-stranger-losers · 4 years

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All Those Things They Couldn’t Say - A Runaway Baudelaires AU

{ao3} {tumblr} {masterlist}

Chapter Forty-Four - Sunny takes an Interest

Once inside the caravan, the man who’d let them in introduced himself as Hugo. He woke up two other adults in there, telling them they had secret guests, wasn’t that exciting? They eventually got up, and a skinny girl approached first, swinging down from a hammock close to the ceiling.

“My name is Colette,” she introduced, smiling sweetly. “And if you’re going to make fun of me, you might as well do it now.”

“Why would we make fun of you?” Klaus asked.

“Because I’m a contortionist.” Colette admitted sheepishly. Then she pulled her arms back, and they watched as she bent them into many unusual positions. “See? I’m a freak.”

“Bravo.” Sunny said.

“My sister thinks that’s very impressive,” Violet smiled, “And so do we.”

“It’s kind of you to say so, but I’m ashamed of being a contortionist.”

“Why?” Duncan asked, bewildered. “It’s so cool!”

“It’s not… normal.”

Isadora smiled a little. “Normal is an illusion, dear. What’s normal for the spider is a calamity for the fly.”

“Stop being goth.” Duncan whispered.

“Never.”

Colette hmmed, considering, and the other man approached, holding out both his hands and shaking Klaus and Violet’s hands at once. “I’m Kevin. As you can see, I’m an ambidextrous freak.”

“Doesn’t ‘ambidextrous’ just mean you can use both hands equally well?” Klaus asked.

“See? I bet that’s why they came. To laugh at Kevin the ambidextrous freak.”

“Ambidexterity isn’t freakish.” Duncan said. “It’s not even that unusual, honestly, we have an uncle who’s ambidextrous, and he runs a secret library.”

“A what?” Klaus whipped around.

Isadora slapped her forehead. “Goddamnit, that was a VFD thing wasn’t it?”

“Oh, son of a bitch!” Duncan stomped his foot and slapped his leg in frustration.

“We’ll circle back around to that.” Violet said. She turned back to the carnival employees. “So, like we told Hugo, we need to stay here in secret for a little while and nobody can know, not even Madame Lulu. In exchange, we’re paying you. Think you can keep your mouths shut about us?”

The employees glanced at each other. Hugo showed them the money and shrugged, and Colette said, “We can… certainly try. But Madame Lulu says we should always give the people what they want-”

“And if someone asks about you-” Kevin began.

“We’re people.” Klaus said. “So hiding us is giving us what we want.”

Colette nodded as if he’d just told her the secrets of the universe. “That is true.”

“And we’re getting paid. We’ve never been paid before.” Hugo said.

“What would we even do with money?” Kevin asked.

“We could save up for a farm.”

“We can’t leave the carnival,” Colette shook her head. “Freaks like us can’t go anywhere.”

“Again. Ambidextrous uncle.” Duncan said.

“You don’t have to just accept being the punching bag of society, you know.” Violet said. “There’s tons of shit out there and tons of people who won’t care what you look or act like. And, honestly Hugo, a farm does not sound like a bad idea.”

“Thank you!”

“We can set up some hammocks for you.” Colette said. “Nobody ever enters our caravan, so if you’re in the corner you won’t be seen.” As Kevin moved to start setting up beds, she asked, “Oh, um, what are your names?”

“Classified.” Violet said.

“Wow, that’s easy.” Colette clapped her hands. “Okay, Classifieds, we’re happy you’re here!”

They were awoken by a furious pounding on the door. Violet sat up immediately, swinging off the hammock and taking Sunny with her. Klaus, who’d been on watch, quickly ran to Duncan and shook him awake before yanking him down to the ground. Violet held Sunny up from their hiding spot to kick Isadora’s hammock until she awoke and slid beside them. This was all done in about the ten seconds it took Hugo to get to the door. He gave them a quizzical look, before finally opening it.

They heard the rough voice of the Hook-Handed Man. “Took you long enough, freaks! Madame Lulu and Count Olaf are off fetching the new show, so I’m in charge, and you better put on a good performance-”

“Don’t worry, sir,” Hugo said quickly, “We’re professionals.”

“Let me finish. -or I’ll hit you with this tagliatelle grande!”

“We’ll be right out, sir!”

The door closed, and Hugo turned around. “I guess our guests can stay in the caravan until we’re done.”

“Olaf and Lulu are gone.” Duncan pointed out, climbing up.

“But the rest of the troupe is here.” Klaus added.

Colette swung down from the rafters from her hammock, while Kevin grumpily got out, stretching both arms equally. “There’ll be a couple people here. Maybe… ten on a good day!”

“Might not be worth it.” Klaus said.

“Might be our best shot. We don’t know how long they intend on staying.” Violet said.

“Well, whatever you choose,” Colette shrugged, “We’ll be in the House of Freaks. We have a break at lunch, so we’ll see you then.”

The carnival employees left, and Violet placed Sunny on a counter before turning to the others. “Some of us could do some regular scouting around, while the others work as lookout. It’d probably be a bad idea to all be in one place in case he finds us… though, also, strength in numbers.”

“We could split two-and-three.” Isadora said. “Sunny in the larger group, obviously.”

“I dunno, Sunny’s a pretty good weapon on her own.” Klaus shrugged.

“Normally, I’d be upset that you’re suggesting splitting up so soon after whatever the fuck just happened with that hospital,” Duncan said, “But Colette did say there’s not many visitors on a good day, so a group of five would attract attention. What henchpeople are still here?”

“I think everyone but the Bald Man. I didn’t see him at the Hospital.” Violet shuddered slightly.

“Some of them could’ve died in that hospital fire.” Klaus said. “But we didn’t hear many of them through the caravan.”

Violet shook her head. “What we should do, first, is figure out where our parents are. When Hugo, Colette and Kevin get back, we can ask for a general layout- or we could do a quick lookout, someone get on the caravan’s roof. I could do that, I’m pretty good at sketching locations and blueprints. Then we figure out where our parents are most likely to be hidden, bust them out, and stab Olaf to death.”

“Yeah, we can figure out splitting vs not splitting later.” Klaus nodded. “Sunny, we- what the hell are you doing?”

They turned, to see that Sunny had stood on the counter, shaking only a little as she opened a cabinet and was taking jars and containers out, putting them down beside her.

“Help.” Sunny said.

“I don’t get it.” Violet said.

Sunny cocked her head. “Laem.” “I wanna cook lunch for Hugo, Colette and Kevin, for when they get back, as a thank you.”

Violet put a hand over her mouth, and Isadora turned so Sunny wouldn’t see her mouth aaw to her brother, who was smiling and giggling a little. Klaus clasped his hands together and held them to his face a moment, a smile bursting across his face, until he finally could say, “That’s… that sounds wonderful, Sunny. But you’ll need to know what you’re making.”

“Luddy. Greene.” Sunny said. “I’m making spaghetti. While you all were talking, I found olive oil, garlic, an anchovy can, some capers, a jar of olives, and some parsley.”

“Holy shit.” Violet said.

“Roberts,” Sunny waved a hand. “If you all could get me tomatoes, noodles, and a pot, I can get started on the sauce.”

“Oh my…” Isadora sat down, hugging herself and burying her face in her knees so she wouldn’t squeal and make Sunny feel patronized.

“That’s… very thoughtful, Sunny. Amazing.” Violet finally managed.

“What recipe is this?” Klaus asked.

“Puttanesca.” Sunny shrugged. “Remmis.” “I helped Father make it a few months ago, when we were by that lake and needed to cook quickly.”

“You remember it?”

“Duh.” Sunny gave them a quizzical look, then bit onto the jar of olives, trying to get the lid off.

The children all shared bewildered, but enchanted looks, and finally Violet smiled a little and said, “Isadora, why don’t you come to the roof with me, then? The boys can help Sunny.”

“I’m a shit cook, but I can gather ingredients and probably chop stuff.” Klaus said.

“I can definitely help, I used to do the cooking with Mother because Isadora and Quigley weren’t allowed in the kitchen.” Duncan shrugged.

“Good plan.” Violet smiled. Then she walked over and gave Sunny a tight hug. Sunny huffed, angered at the sudden gesture, but when Violet pulled away, she asked, “You’re growing up, baby girl.”

Sunny shook her head. “Toddler. Not a baby.”

“Not a baby.” Violet grinned and nodded.

Violet and Isadora managed to get the carnival roughly sketched from the caravan roof, though they didn’t see any of the troupe moving around, which could be good or bad- they might be inside, unable to see them, or they might just be sneakier than they’d thought. They eventually swung down and helped Sunny complete the pasta, though Duncan had managed to help her with stirring and slicing, and Klaus had figured out how to use the stove without setting a fire. As they waited for the pasta to cook and the sauce to get warm enough, Sunny dug through to try and find dessert. Eventually, she found the materials to make hot cocoa, and as she and Duncan made enough for everyone, she started sprinkling cinnamon in.

“There aren’t many large enough places to stash a person, and Lulu said they were both in different places.” Violet said, unrolling the paper while Duncan and Sunny worked. “We’ve got all the caravans and tents- five of each. I think we should check Lulu’s tent first, you’d think it’d be easier to hide someone in there than in another employee’s. We’ll need lookouts, though, in case she comes back. Quagmires, I’m thinking you could stand out by the opening- you’re noticeable to them, yeah, but not as much as us. I can send Sunny into small spaces, and Klaus and I-”

The door opened, and they heard Kevin talking to the others. “-utterly humiliating, just like every other day.”

“It wasn’t that bad. We didn’t get tomatoes thrown at us like last week.” Colette said brightly, swinging in first as Kevin followed.

“I can still smell the tomatoes, ugh.” Hugo said, walking in. Then he froze. “I- oh, no, there’s- what?”

The employees looked over, as Sunny waved and had Duncan help her bring bowls out. As he started dishing things out, Violet rolled her map up, hanging it to Isadora, and said, “We made you lunch, as a thank you. It was Sunny’s idea, she seems to be taking an interest in cooking.”

Hugo blinked confusedly, and Kevin said, “You made lunch? For us?”

“Yeah, why not?” Klaus shrugged.

“Pasta!” Sunny called, as Duncan started putting bowls by the chairs.

Hugo looked amazed. “Nobody’s ever done that before.”

“Well, get used to being human beings, friendos.” Isadora said.

“And we made hot chocolate!” Duncan added, gesturing to the mugs.

“Is this for real?” Colette asked, bending her body into a shape that looked similar to an S. “Are you for real?”

“Course. We’ll have some lunch, and then we’ll move around the carnival a bit.” Violet said. “Now eat while it’s still warm. I might actually hide out behind the caravan with mine, keep watch.”

“No, you’re eating with us.” Klaus shook his head.

“Come on, bro-”

They were interrupted, in their argument, by a loud screech of tires. They jumped, and Violet instantly started to head for the door. Klaus stopped her, grabbing her arm, and Isadora quickly said, “No, they’ll spot you immediately.”

“Parva.” Sunny said, as Duncan helped to the floor from the counter. “I’m small. I’ll hide in a bush and see what’s up.”

“Are you sure?” Violet asked shakily.

Sunny didn’t respond, instead toddling straight for the door. Hugo gave them a concerned look, while Kevin quickly opened the door for her, before he and Colette went out themselves, curious. Hugo quickly went after them, and as the door slammed, the children quickly went to the wood, pressing their ears against it.

Sunny, for her part, stayed behind Kevin’s legs for a while, peering around and hissing a little when she recognized that, indeed, the screech had come from Olaf’s car, where he and Lulu were getting out- at least, she assumed that was Lulu, she was hanging out with Olaf and didn’t look like the rest of the troupe. There was something attached to the back of the car, some large container with a blanket thrown over it. The few members of the Caligari crowd were moving closer, wondering what that low rumbling coming from inside was. Sunny crept along the ground, eventually finding a trash can to hide behind. She peered over as Olaf walked out, spreading his arms wide.

“Guests and Employees! Freaks and normal people!” Olaf shouted, waving his arms. “Caligari Carnival is proud to announce the arrival of our newest, boldest attraction! Viola!”

At his cue, Lulu took the edge of the cover, and threw it off. Sunny reeled back when they saw what was inside- lions. So many lions. Lions were packed in so tightly that Sunny couldn’t count them, and they were roaring loudly and fiercely, trying to push their way out of the large cage, about as big as the other caravans but with less walls and more metal bars. She instantly felt horrible, watching the large cats struggle for release, and then leap back as Olaf pulled a long, thick whip from his belt, throwing it out and striking against the lions through the bars. The frightened lions started yelping, pressing themselves back, and when they were finally quiet enough, he turned around again, and Sunny crept a bit forwards.

“These wonderful lions are going to be the most exciting thing at Caligari Carnival!” Olaf announced, as the guests and few, sparse employees started paying very, very close attention. “As you all know, unless you are incredibly dim-witted, a stubborn mule will move toward the carrot, because it wants the reward of food, and away from the stick, because it does not want the punishment of pain. These lions will do the same. The whip is the stick, as they will avoid the punishment of the whip-”

With a flourish, he flicked his whip at the lions again, who cowered behind the bars, causing some visitors to applaud.

“But, my Olaf,” asked Lulu, leaning against the car and smirking, “If the whip is the stick, please, what is the carrot?”

“The carrot?” Olaf let out a horrible laugh. “The reward for the lions who obey me will be a delicious meal. Lions are carnivorous, which means they eat meat, and here at Caligari Carnival, they’ll have the finest meat we have to offer.”

At that, he gestured his whip at the small group of the employees of the freakshow. “These freaks you see before you aren’t normal people! They lead depressing lives, and will be happy to exhibit themselves in the name of entertainment.”

“We do that every day.” Colette said.

“Then you won’t mind being the most important part of the lion show.” Olaf replied. “We’re not going to feed these lions regular meals, so they’ll be very, very hungry by the time the show begins. Each day, instead of a show at the House of Freaks, we’ll randomly choose one freak and watch the lions devour them.”

Everyone cheered again, except for Hugo, Colette, Kevin, and Sunny, who backed up behind the trashcan, breathing deeply and trying not to look at the panicked, hungry lions.

She heard the crowd cheer and talk excitedly amongst themselves, while Hugo, Colette and Kevin quietly whispered worried words to each other. Lulu clapped her hands, and Sunny saw the troupe gather- the Hook-Handed Man, the White-Faced Women, Esme… that seemed to be about it. Sunny lowered herself and crept a bit closer, straining her ears.

“-is brilliant for thinking of the lion show.” she finally caught Lulu saying. “He is brave man for hitting lions with whip, please. And he is generous man or giving lions to Lulu.”

“He gave those to you?” came Esme’s sneering voice. “So what did you get me, darling?”

“Darling, I got you our captives.”

“We have to share those! I don’t want to share gifts. Sharing isn’t in.”

“He gave lions to me, please, in exchange for fortune-telling tomorrow.”

“Oh, and what sort of gifts will you ask for next?”

“Be reasonable, my dear.” Count Olaf said to his girlfriend. “The lions will make Caligari Carnival much more popular, so Madame Lulu can devote her time to fortune telling and give us the information we finally need to kill the Baudelaires and steal that Quagmire fortune.”

“Ugh, I am so tired of having to deal with those Quagmires. So annoying, so whiny-”

“Esme, please, voice down.”

“Don’t tell me what to do!”

“Well, all of us are going to go dig the lion pit, by the old rollercoaster.”

“Oh, I am not digging any pits. I might break a nail. Besides, I need to talk to Count Olaf alone.”

“Alright, alright.” Sunny positioned herself behind a pole, and peered over just in time to see Olaf roll his eyes. “Let’s go to the guest caravan where we won’t be disturbed. The rest of you, get to work!”

“Follow Lulu, please, and she will show you where we dig.” Lulu said.

The henchpeople shrugged and followed after her. Olaf started towards the guest caravan, mumbling to himself, but as Esme started to follow, she stopped a moment, and then slowly started to turn.

Sunny whipped back, squeezing herself behind the pole and trying to make herself small. She held her breath, trying to minimize noise, and shut her eyes, waiting.

She thought she heard footsteps head towards her, and she steeled herself to start biting limbs off again, until there was a call.

“Esme! I thought you wanted to talk, you’re going the wrong way!”

“Ugh, fine! We need to have a long discussion about this…”

She walked away, and once the door to the guest caravan slammed, Sunny took off back for the House of Freaks. When she reached the door, she kicked at it, and the it almost instantly swung open, and Klaus had her in his arms within a few seconds.

Duncan shut the door, and Sunny looked over to see Violet was already gathering everyone together. She’d sat down the employees, and Duncan and Isadora were shoving the food into a box.

“Sunny, does he actually have lions? Is that right?” Duncan asked.

Sunny nodded, leaning against Klaus’s chest.

“Then we’ve got to hurry.” Violet said. She turned to the employees, who looked to be in a nervous shock. “Hugo, you said something about a farm?”

“Uh, yeah, I-”

“You’re going there. Does Lulu have gas?”

“What?”

“Car gas. Stored anywhere.”

“There’s some behind the guest caravan.” Kevin said.

Sunny shook her head. “Tou!” “Esme and Olaf are there now.”

“One of you three needs to sneak by and grab all you can carry.” Violet said. “Probably Colette, feel like you’re the sneakiest. Get all the gas, and then- just outside the carnival, there’s a car we took here. You guys get into that and get the fuck outta here.”

“What?” Hugo said. “But Madame Lulu-”

“Fuck Madame Lulu, you are not getting fed to lions.” Violet said. She tied her hair back. “Sunny, where’s the rest of the troupe?”

“Tippi.” “Digging a pit by the rollercoaster.”

“So Lulu’s tent and caravan’ll be empty.” Violet said. “Quagmires, we’ll search in there, you stand guard. You three get the gas and pack whatever you need from here. I might need it.”

“Need it?” Kevin asked.

“There was something attached to the car, right?”

“A cage.” Colette nodded.

“How big?”

“Esm.” Sunny said. “Caravan-size.”

“And I heard him do a dramatic sheet pull-off, right?”

“Yeah?”

“Tonight, when it’s dark and everyone’s asleep, we’re going to attach this caravan to Olaf’s car instead of that cage.” Violet said. “Hopefully we’ll have our parents by then, and we’ll have some people in the car and some in the caravan while we bust out.”

“I think the car is close enough you might manage that.” Colette said hesitantly. “You’d have to push the caravan quite a bit, though.”

“Doesn’t matter, we can do it.” Violet shrugged. “I can invent something if we don’t have the strength. If we don’t find our parents, then…”

She took a deep breath, and pulled her ribbon out. “Then, well… we merge into the crowd, and make Olaf into cat food.”

#asoue #asoue netflix #a series of unfortunate events #runaway baudelaires au #asoue fanfiction #all those things they couldn't say #the carnivorous carnival #mine #my fanfic

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blackcatanna · 4 years

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First impressions of Hakuoki characters:

Hijikata: Sebastian from Black Butler realness. Is mean but in a reluctant way. Like a Mum who is in charge of discipline because her husband (Kondou) is incapable of laying down the law. I like him but I would like him more if the game wasn't sucking his dick so hard. He has good hair. Please don't kill me, Hijikata!

Okita: He is handsome (duh) but seems a bit too eager to kill his own men... Ugh, now he's making me thank him. His idea of humour is threatening to kill you. He's like an old cackling witch who was shunned by the world and is taking it out on anyone he has power over. I enjoy him but I find it hard to relate to someone who takes pleasure in tormenting the helpless. Big dom energy. Probably enjoyed tying you up a bit too much. I want to fight back but I have a feeling that there is no script for bratty Chizuru. :'(

Saito: The Chosen One. He is dangerous but also adorable. He saved mah life *swoons*. He is HELPFUL. He has beautiful impractical hair. He is CONCISE. He is POLITE. He just seems like a great person to have around... If he's on your side (R.I.P. Itou). Alas, we can never be wed, for he is already married to his sword... Or maybe it's Hijikata... Or Okita... Or tofu. He has a lot of commitments.

Harada: He has red hair. Me like red hair. I feel like all three of them are way too casual about my impending doom. Not getting friendly vibes here. However, it turns out that he's pretty great! A bit too chirpy for my liking, though. Because I'm a miserable bitch (goth), I guess. The baka trio are all more boisterous and outgoing than I would be comfortable being around but I like them on their own. Harada is my favourite, though. Definitely the Mum of the trio. I guess that makes him the cool aunty of the Shinsengumi? He has the best Kazama burns and I will always love him for that.

Heisuke: I wish that the others would stop treating him like a child. Maybe they would if he stopped taking their bait. He's the most openly friendly of the group and that means a lot when you're surrounded by new people (and are being held against your will). He looks like an angry wildcat. I like cats so that's fine, I guess.

Kazama: Ew. Can you tell that I don't like him? Fuck this wannabe nonce. Actually, no! Don't fuck him! That's what he wants! Just stab him real good. He cannot control his temper. I do not respect that. He is racist. He is too scared of rejection to court a girl and get consent. He is really handsome but he has the worst personality so I feel no attraction to him at all. Not even for a hate fuck. No. Go away.

Nagakura: Ah, the classic pervert! We love a slut! I kept forgetting who he was, though. Sorry. Clearly, he has hidden depths but I have yet to find out what those are. Is a little bit too violent. Needs to calm tf down. I don't really have much else to say about first impressions. At first, the baka trio were just loud, wacky background noise.

Sannan: Seems fine, I guess... Fairly reasonable. If he was such a sweet, fluffy bunny before his injury, why was everyone so scared of him? He has a pleasantly calm aura. However, he needs to work on his diplomacy. Demanding blood while brandishing a sword is extremely un-chill of him. I also enjoy wandering around eerily in the middle of the night so we have that in common. Definitely gives off sinister vibes.

Yamazaki: Ninja Nurse Mum! He is clever, selfless, dedicated and reliable! He deserves a better hairstyle XD Sorry Yamazaki! The rat tail is not a strong look but he probably has more important things to worry about like SAVING LIVES and coming up with new moves to shout out in combat. I am excited to do his route because he deserves all the happiness.

Iba: The most beautiful one. He's rich, good looking, friendly and has had a crush on you for years. He also rescues you from the Shinsengumi on numerous occasions to hang out and eat delicious desserts. He's very cute. Definitely too good to be true. Everyone has a dark side and it concerns me when someone locks theirs away so much. Or maybe he really is that 2D. Iba is so perfect that they had to give him the Demon Arm of Horniness because they didn't want to tarnish him with a human flaw. I would probably be obsessed with him if he was real but, as a character, I don't find him that interesting.

Sakamoto: I still have no idea who this man is. He creeps me out, though. I don't remember why, I just remember being creeped out when you first meet him. Maybe he should mind his own business.

Souma: Puppy? Who threw this poor guy to Harada and Nagakura? Wow, I finally have underlings. However, they are probably not here against their will. He looks scared so he must have some brains. I haven't played his route yet so I don't know much about him.

Nomura: Horny Puppy! This isn't really a first impression (except for in the sense that all of my impressions are initial because I haven't played much with him in yet) and is totally spoilery but there's a bit in Edo Blossoms where they're making fun of him for being terrible with women and how it'll take him ten years to figure them out. At the time, I thought, "Bit harsh, guys. He could very easily die tomorrow and then he'll never get any." AND THEN HE DID. Die, that is. Not get laid. R.I.P.

Kondou: Married to Hijikata. They have loads of terrible children. Fun Dad. Thinks that he's a cool Dad but there are no cool Dads. Everyone talks about how nice he is and how everyone loves him but it's hard to appreciate that when he's debating whether or not to feed you to Okita. Turns out, he is kind but very busy. Definitely a secret badass. Very secret. He gives off friendly bear vibes.

Inoue: Friendly Grandad who is way younger than he looks. Not datable so he is mostly in the background, just being kind, helpful and dependable. He is warm but calm and comforting to be around.

Shimada: Gruff undatable anime guy who is not a bishie and so his brave and heroic acts often go unnoticed.

Motoyama: Bless him for trying to be a wingman. Why is he so scared of the Shinsengumi? Scary poor people with swords? He is very good at his job. Needs to calm down with the winks and nudges.

Itou: This Bitch. He could be fabulous but he loses points for mocking the disabled. He's Regina George. Except he actually dies. Is very camp. Would be great to go shopping with him. Not necessarily gay but is the gay best friend you deserve, not the gay best friend you asked for. Is a bitch but also sometimes the only sane person in the room. He's not reading you, he's just being real with you because you're Shinsengumi Sisters.

Miki: Bitch by Association. "Darling." Doesn't seem totally evil, just trying to do his best by his brother. Relies on tough guy image. Doing his job but happens to be on team Bitch. Also, he is a handsome boi.

Takeda: Fabulous Cunt. Should be too beautiful to be such a disaster human and yet here we are. Starts off as a bit of a prick, ends up (spoilers) feasting on the flesh of innocents... Is that a glow up? He's a dirty cop. Nobody likes him X_X :'(

Shiranui: GUNS! SHOOTY SHOOTY! He has a lot of aggression and he channels it through his GUNS. He always looks somewhat maniacal. Needs to take a chill pill.

Amagiri: Infuriatingly calm enemy with infuriating facial hair. He seems pretty chill and not bloodthirsty so... Good? He punched Heisuke, though, so RAAAAAAAWR!!!!

Kodo: Worst Dad. Scalpels > kunai. Took a level in WTF while he was away (hopefully he wasn't always like that).

Kaoru: Why can't I dress like that? :'( Definitely evil.

Sen: Hey, don't tell me off for protecting you! Can we be best friends?! I'M SO STARVED OF FEMALE CONTACT!!! More of this queen, please. She is powerful, kind and she is honest! I wanted to run away with her while Saito and Heisuke were away :') But the game didn't let me :'(

Kimigiku: GOALS. Why can't I be disguised as a geisha (except for that one time) :'( GET THIS QUEEN A ROUTE. She is beauty she is grace. I wish that I looked more like a woman and less like a child. I want her to be my friend too. She can teach me her womanly arts!

Chizuru!: She's fine. Much less annoying than she could easily be. Too pure for this world. A fine example of woman (well, she looks like a child). Her disguise is useless. Pretends not to be thirsty but rushes past Itou to see shirtless men. HMMMMMMM.

#hakuouki #hakuoki #my terrible opinions #otome adventures #first impressions

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makeste · 5 years

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BnHA Chapter 169: Shut Up and Dance

Previously on BnHA: Aoyama creeped on Deku in the middle of the fucking night. A petrified Deku went to take a closer look only to find that Aoyama had left a weird “I KNOW~~” message spelled out on his balcony with fucking cheese. The next day in Cementoss’s class the kids resumed working on special moves. Deku got all brooding and thought about how he couldn’t beat Overhaul even with his absolute max of 20%. Then Aoyama got his attention and carved a possibly-suspicious-or-maybe-just-weird French message into a chunk of rock with his navel laser before collapsing in pain. Deku took Aoyama to rest for a bit and asked him what the cheese message meant. Aoyama said that Deku was like him -- someone who possessed a quirk that didn’t really suit his body. Aoyama himself is unable to control his navel laser without the aid of his support belt. He saw Deku as a kindred spirit and was trying to cheer him up since he knew he was starting to feel frustrated. And thus a new sparkly bond of friendship was born.

Today on BnHA: The kids randomly discuss how great Mina is at dancing and how great Jirou is at music stuff. Later that day, in a pure coincidence, Aizawa announces the upcoming cultural festival. Despite the recent string of villain attacks, the school has decided to go ahead with it as a way to hopefully help the stressed-out student body. 1-A gets to work determining what program their class will do, with people suggesting everything from petting zoos to cafes to “a banquet for students of darkness.” Momo and Iida narrow down everyone’s ridiculous suggestions, but they’re unable to settle on a final program, and Aizawa gives them one day to figure it out. That evening the kids gather in the fanfic dorms and Iida says they should come up with something that will help the other students de-stress. Todoroki of all people suggests that they host a dance party with live music. Jirou is a bit nervous about performing in front of everyone, but with her classmates’ support she agrees to do it. Let the Band AU arc begin.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 195 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS LOOK AT THIS!?!?

THIS IS MY FAVORITE COLOR PAGE EVER OMG

holy shit, I fucking love it. the colors! the (possibly unintentional) Wicked reference! MY LEADING LADY OCHAKO

and it looks like she’s wearing some of Mei’s gear. are we going to see any of these upgrades in her actual costume, or is this all just for the sake of a pretty cover? ah well, either way I love it

AND!!!

CULTURE FESTIVAL OMGGGGGG

lord I can’t even begin to imagine what a U.A. culture festival might be like. somehow I can’t quite picture them doing the typical cafe theme lol

oh my god you guys

MINA BREAKDANCING.

you guys. ever since she got a bunch of bullies to dance with her in the middle of Kirishima’s flashback I’ve been wanting more of this lol

Deku is analyzing her moves, and it’s only just now occurred to me that this might be part of a new technique of hers and not just her spontaneously breaking out into a dance battle in the middle of the locker room

(ETA: nope just dancing. Mina is the best you guys)

lol now Deku says he wants to try and Mina’s volunteering to show him!

YESSSSSSSSS

NOW GET IIDA. HE NEEDS TO BE IN ON THIS. OH MY GOD. YOU GUYS. IT’S HAPPENINGGGGG

(ETA: this arc is a gift in so many ways)

oh hey Kaminari is casually hyping up Jirou’s hobby without any prompting!

is he trying to embarrass her or does he genuinely think it’s cool? OR MAYBE BOTH. WHY NOT. I REALLY DO SHIP THE SHIT OUT OF THIS DAMN TRIO NOW, DON’T I

he’s saying that her bedroom looked like “a music store” that one time they all went to see it

and he looks genuinely impressed, so I think it’s not teasing at all and he does in fact really think it’s cool

he says she must be a music pro and he’s asking how often she practices

and she’s getting all blushy and threatening him with one of her earjacks lol

he seems confused d’aww

(ETA: nice little bit with Kouda here which is followed up on later when he encourages her to perform and says it’s a skill well suited for a hero. I adore this sweet little friendship they have since taking that final exam together.)

she’s just shy, the way that some people are about the parts of themselves that are really personal. that means it’s really important to her and she’s maybe not fully ready to share it just yet

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

SO I HEARD

the class is losing their minds

IS IT SO FUCKING WRONG TO HAVE AT LEAST ONE NORMAL SCHOOL THING JESUS CHRIST. WE JUST SAT THROUGH FORTY CHAPTERS OF ANGST AND CHILD TORTURE. LET ME HAVE THIS, CHILDREN

AIZAWA SHOUTA DID YOU REALLY ACTUALLY ADOPT THIS LITTLE GIRL OMG. PLEASE SAY YES. OMGGGGG

take her to the festival. let her come visit. omg. I will die of joy if that happens

(ETA: I did, in fact, die of joy)

so now the class is trying to figure out what to do

Kirishima is asking if it’s really okay “for us to be so carefree” at this particular juncture

Kiri were you not listening to a word I just fucking said. YES. y’all need to fucking relax for once in your damn lives

Kaminari is SHOCKED and is all “Kirishima you’ve changed, huh?”

but Kiri says it’s a valid concern though with all the villains running amok right now

Aizawa says that’s a fair point, but U.A. doesn’t revolve solely around the department of heroics

look at this Department of Management asshole acting like he’s going to get as big of a role in the series as Shinsou or Mei. haha you wish buddy

Aizawa says that this year’s festival will be made less public though, and will only occur within the school

well, good. honestly if y’all tried to pull more shit like the sports festival again at this juncture I would be raising some eyebrows, believe me

so they’re going to be deciding on their theme today! yaaaaay omgg

I’m going to take a wild guess here and predict that it will be something music related. since we had breakdancing Mina and music prodigy Jirou earlier. and also I’m really going to be needing that dancing Iida, you guys. I’m not kidding. we need to get on that stat

so finally Iida is taking charge, and tbh he was being remarkably restrained up till this point because I was expecting him to do this much earlier

he’s telling everyone to raise their hands if they have a suggestion

this class is full of passion

naturally the first suggestion is of course the classic

maybe if this was EVERY ANIME EVER. but this is BnHA! we can do better guys, come on!!

and we’ll just ignore Mineta

Ochako is suggesting a mochi shop! oh! I’m remembering that new years illustration now and I would love that tbh. but I don’t think that’s what we’re gonna end up with

look at all of these other ideas though

I love the idea of crepes and I’m already sad that they won’t end up going with that

Kouda’s idea is also amazing. and Kiri’s is super original

and Tokoyami’s I first read as “banquet of students” and I thought, that’s odd. I know he’s goth but I didn’t think he’d be out here suggesting cannibalism

but based on Kami’s stare, yeah, I’m pretty sure we’re gonna end up doing the music thing. CLASS 1-A DISCO. U.A. RAVE. AW YIHHH

wow

can you guys pick out which suggestion was Bakugou’s. it’s pretty easy tbh. study hall duhhhhhh

I actually love that the ideas we didn’t actually see can be so easily traced back to their originators. Deku’s hero quiz. Shouto’s soba house. Tsuyu’s “frog music chorus”, whatever that is. Ojiro’s martial arts performance. and so forth

Momo is now ruthlessly putting an end to the charade of diplomacy and erasing the ones that are “inappropriate or unrealistic” and “the ones that I don’t really understand” lmao

now the kids are getting back at the two reps by shooting down their own suggestions

and she’s combining the food themes into one, over Satou and Shouto’s protests that soba and crepes would “clash”

now things are getting out of hand

aaand the bell is ringing

Aizawa’s walking out and telling them all to make a decision by tomorrow morning

omg

oh damn

so now it’s nighttime in the fanfic dorms and 40-year-old Iida Tenya is in his relaxed business casual clothes watching youtube videos

I guess the rest of the gang must be here even though we’re not seeing them yet, because there are speech bubbles talking

I swear to god that boy really does go to bed at eight fucking pm every damn night. but why, though?? does he lie awake broodingly into the wee hours of the morning? does he go to bed early in order to wake up at the asscrack of dawn to work out? or does he just need the extra sleep because he’s a growing boy who runs at full steam shouting and blowing things up all day long and it’s just exhausting to be him? like, all three of these seem plausible to me lol

and then of course there’s the beloved fandom headcanon of him having PTSD and dealing with lots of nightmares too, and while we have really seen nothing in canon to hint at that, I’m obviously not going to dismiss any theory with that much Bakugou angst potential completely out of hand lol

but I think it’s probably the second and third one mostly tbh

as for the intern group, are they taking supplementary classes to make up for what they missed while they were out interning? that really is a lot of work, huh. no wonder the school decided to put an end to those for now

anyway, so Iida says that now that he’s had more time to think about it, he thinks they should come up with a theme that would assist the other departments in letting off some steam since they’re stressed out

that’s actually so thoughtful and pure

so Momo (at least I think it’s her?) is saying that in that case, they shouldn’t bother with a food theme since the U.A. kids are already accustomed to Lunch Rush’s food and it’s really hard to top that

so now they’ve narrowed it down to just a few options

they’re shooting down the petting zoo as “unsanitary”, wow. wow guys. so you don’t think that getting a bunch of cute baby animals for everyone to pet would help them to de-stress, huh. kay. I see how it is

oh my god

of all the people to end up suggesting this idea, he’s honestly the last person I would have expected

YESSSSSS U.A. UP IN THE CLUB

why is he the cutesttttt

LMAO

IT’S NOT LIKE THAT BUT I LOVE THE WAY YOUR MIND WORKS SUGAR MAN

oh my god. I will take this thought bubble of Bakugou and Todo getting lit in the club and I will keep it in my heart forever

Sero is objecting that it’ll be stressful (for them), but Mina says she can teach them all how to dance

LMAO AGAIN

yes look at him he has clearly mastered it

Mineta is now stepping in and saying that if they’re gonna turn class 1-A into New York’s Hottest Club then they’re gonna need some sick beats

AND NOW EVERYONE IS STARING AT YOU KNOW WHO

BRITNEY, BITCH

lol she’s going red again and is all “uh, what?”

Hagakure’s jumping in with the encouragement!

YESSSS YOU CAN DO IT JIROU YOU ROCK

but she’s getting all shy again and says it’s just a hobby

and now Kaminari’s having a flash of insight!

COME ON KAMI THIS IS YOUR MOMENT

YESSSS

god I ship it. he’s just so genuinely nice and encouraging. class A’s dumbest, sweetest boy

and now Kouda is also running over and says that it’s a skill that can put a smile on people’s faces and for that reason he does think it’s heroic

AND NOW HER GIRLFRIEND MOMO IS STEPPING IN PROTECTIVELY AND TELLING THEM THAT’S VERY NICE OF THEM, BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY IT’S JIROU’S DECISION

god this chapter is MomoJirouKami heaven and I’m on cloud fucking nine

YAAAAAY SHE’S GONNA DO IT

not if you don’t want to, I guess? though ngl that would be amazing

so with that, class A’s program is decided!

um. is this supposed to be important to the plot? who tf is this

(ETA: lol it both is and it isn’t. it’s relevant to the arc, but this arc is probably the least plot relevant in the series. though that doesn’t mean it’s not a complete and utter delight)

anyway! WHOOO HOOOO, SHUT UP AND DANCE WITH ME

I have no idea which bonus page goes with this chapter lol. so I’m just gonna skip it for now

#bnha #boku no hero academia #ashido mina #jirou kyouka #kaminari denki #yaoyorozu momo #iida tenya #class 1-A #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #out of all the things I am looking forward to in season 4 #class 1-A's live is probably at the top of the list #beating out even the fast and the furious #words can't express how much I am dying to see this animated #this is what's gonna sustain me throughout 2019

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skyecrandall · 5 years

Text

CCAs 2018 Afterparty (Choices fanfiction)

Book: Most 2018 Books

Genre: Comedy

Words: about 2800

Summary: A look to the party held for the winners and others of the CCAs 2018. Read along to follow the adventure of the party hosts, Pax and Eos Elara as they go around interviewing people like the gorgeous Annabelle Parsons or even the grumpy Thomas Hunt. Witness even a dance performance by Kamilah Sayeed.

Note: This story i based on the results of the CCAs 2018. If you haven’t read it yet you may find yourself to be a little confused. So I definitely recommend reading about the results, here first.

"This is Pax and Eos Elara reporting live from the CCAs 2018 after party where our fellow winners and losers alike, " said Pax to the camera.

"We will be your host for next hour or so as we talk to the gathered personality and others. So if you have a question you really want your favourite stars to answer it, twat it to us on Twatter with the hashtag #CCAask, " smiled Eos.

"Can we cut this part please. Ugh why is that social media called Twatter, it feels really gross, " complained Pax.

"We are live right now, we can't edit stuff now. Anyway here is Miss Parsons, the winner of the Best Female LI category. Let's go and hear her mind out, " said Eos as he dragged Pax towards where Annabelle was talking with Hana.

"Miss Parsons, Miss Lee. Good afternoon. We hope that you are having a good time, " smiled Eos.

"We are doing good thanks, what are you two doing?" Asked Annabelle.

"We could be doing better since our book didn't get nominated in any category at all, so that’s why we are charged of filming with after party. We are live say hi to your fans!" Said Pax as she waved into the camera.

"So what could the two winners of the same category be talking about like this, " asked Eos.

"I was just complimenting Miss Parsons for her beautiful speech. Sure we, women are currently better treated than during her era, but there is still a lot that is left to be done for men and women to be truly equal, "

explained Hana. "That is very true. It is because of men like Eos right here that our society is still so horrible to women, " agreed Pax.

"Wh-what did I do? I have been respectful to everyone who deserved it, " replied the elder Elara.

"I wouldn't call constant flirting respectable personally, " added Annabelle.

"That's a personality trait!" Complained Eos.

"Sure whatever. Let's go talk to Damien and Hayden now before my brother has an emotional breakdown. Let's head over to the mini-lounge area, " said Pax as she started walking towards where Damien and Hayden were chatting.

"Hey there winners are you enjoying the party?" Asked Pax.

"Parties are not really my thing but hey a party to celebrate my victory is nice, " said Damien.

"Plus free drinks!" Added Hayden.

"Yes and free drinks, " smiled Damien before taking a sip of his drink.

"Anyway where is the rest of your crew? It is a little odd to see just the two of you like this, " asked Eos.

"Sloane was really sad that she could not win her category and so Kai, Nadia and Steve went to console her. Khaan could not come due to Hamza and Alana is busy on a job overseas, " explained Hayden.

"Talking about Kai, here they are, " said Damien.

"I knew Nadia was a little cray but wow she is quite extreme. We could not console Sloane so Nadia just got her so drunk that she passed out. Then because it was make out time, she dragged Steve under a table and god knows what she could be doing right now. Oh hey, Pax and Eos, " said Kai as they settled between Damien and Hayden.

"She sure us a handful, " said Damien when a buzzer could be heard.

"What is that sound, " asked the robot.

"That means that it is time to answer a question from your fans on Twatter. Let's choose a random one that involves either of you three, " said Eos.

"Here's one. By @wescott-imogen . Let's see what it says:

“ Hey Damien I love you. Anyway I would just like to ask you whether you are Bi. I know you are, but some people still believe you are straight so I just want you to say it with your own mouth to confirm it.”

" read Pax.

"Oh, well I'm most definitely bisexual. I hope this suffice you, " said Damien.

"Thats not enough. We need confirmation that you truly are bi. You need to kiss a guy right here," added Pax.

"If so, I volunteer," smiled Kai.

"Hold on you can't. Since you are a girl in some playthroughs and for the same reasons i can't too. So that just leaves Eos," explained Hayden.

"Do I really have to?" Asked Damien.

"Well it's just a kiss. It's not a big deal," smiled Eos.

"You better kiss as good as you claim to," said Damien as he reluctantly kissed the elder Elara.

Their kiss seemed rather awkward at first but eventually they both fit together like pieces of a puzzle, much to the disgust of Kai.

"Whoops, we should probably stop the kissing for now. This is supposed to be a family friendly show, " said Pax as she pulled her brother away from Damien.

"That kiss was actually really good. Like people who boast about this stuff are not really good but you Eos... whoa, " said Damien with a smile.

"I hope you believe me now Pax. My kisses are just the best, " winked Eos.

"Yeah yeah okay. Anyway we better and go take a look at some other people before we witness a murder live on camera, " said Pax as she pushed her brother away after noticing Kai's murderous gaze towards Eos.

"Anyway time to go and find someone else. We won't find anyone in such a recluse corn-What the hell!" yelled Eos as he turned around and nearly bumped onto Skye Crandall.

"What are you doing here? Where are your friends?" Asked Pax.

"Bailey could not get the permission to come, Rory had to check on their mother, Ajay was bickering with Thomas Hunt the last time I saw him and Bailey's twin came to take Erin for a consolation date, " explained the goth.

"Ah...okay. Still aren't you lonely here? Wouldn't it be better if you stayed at home, no offence ?" asked the younger Elara.

"Anywhere is better than my house, " replied Skye coldly.

"Well anyway we've been wanting to have a talk with you, so will you answer a few questions for us?" Asked Eos.

"If I say yes will you stop bothering me?" Asked the red head.

"Yes? Anyway how are you feeling Miss Skye Crandall? You scored 2 nominations and despite being the underdog in the Best Female LI category you still scored a brilliant 3rd. So what are your thoughts?" Asked Pax.

"Cool... I guess?" Said Skye plainly. "Okay...Do you have anything you'd like to say for your family?" Asked Eos and Skye just gave her middle finger to the camera.

"We will have to censor that in editing, " said Pax.

"Again, this is live. We can't blur this out. Anyway anything to say to your friends that are at home?" Asked Eos.

"You guys are definitely not as uncool as you seem to be, especially you Bailey, " smiled Skye.

"Aww that is so sweet. Looks like our goth baby is actually a goth teddy bear, " smiled the elder Elara earning the two a scowl from the redhead.

"Well we should probably be moving on now. Oh wait look at the time, it's time for the dance performance, " said Pax as the two reporters moved away from Skye.

"Pax is right! Kamilah and her best friends have been willing to celebrate the event by offering us a dance performance. It might seem a little out of season, but that is mostly due to the CCAs being postponed so many times. Let's give our glorious performers a grand applause, " said Eos as the camera panned onto the central stage.

The stage curtain lifted up and Kamilah, Priya and The Baron appeared on stage in their Halloween Santa outfit with a Christmas backdrop.

"Are you sure the dance is worth being performed anymore? It's no longer Christmas, " whispered The Baron to Kamilah.

"We can't let our efforts be wasted. We worked hard on this performance and so everyone will have to watch it, " explained Kamilah.

"Also this is all just for fun and it will be a nice excuse to show off our Halloween outfits again hehe, " smiled Priya.

"Anyway... Nova Elara! Bring on the music! Give us Jingle Bell Rock!" Ordered Kamilah and Nova, the ATV MC! launched the soundtrack.

"Stroke em, Like em, Suck on my -" the soundtrack went on when our duo of reporters noticed the music and rushed on stage.

"Stop the sound!" Ordered Eos and the soundtrack stopped.

"What the fuck where you thinking Nova! This is not Jingle Bell Rock!" Yelled Pax.

"Shut your trap, Pax! This is a fucking family friendly show! You can't curse!" Yelled back Eos.

Realising what they both did, they both fell limp until suddenly Pax's phone started ringing. She glanced to take a look at the name and just accepted the call before shoving it into Eos' hands.

"This is for you, talk!" Ordered Pax who started sweating nervously.

Eos slowly brought the phone to his ears and said a small hello, before an stream of insults flowing from the phone. The person at the other end was so mad that their voice could be heard a few metres away from the twins. After a few minutes of berating the call finally ended.

“So what did Piper say?” said Pax, anxious as she took back her phone.

“She berated me the whole time before saying something like ‘The two of you are never getting hired again’” sighed Eos.

“Hmm, can we continue our performance?” asked Priya.

“No way. Your time slot is over. It’s now Maxwell’s time with his jokes,” replied Pax.

“This is unfair! The two of you crashed our performance!” complained the Baron.

“Listen. I don’t care that you are a super old and powerful vampire. We just got fired and we don’t want to anger that woman again, so please,” said Eos as he walked away, his sister in tow before passing Maxwell the microphone.

“I could use a drink,” said Pax.

“Same...You know what let’s just have fun and keep reporting. Who knows maybe she will take us back? Anyway dear audience, Eos and Pax Elara are back in business and we are headed towards the buffet table to show you all the delicious snacks on the menu,” smiled Eos.

“Let’s go and see if these food are as wig snatching as people have been claiming all over their Twatter accounts. I mean seriously, our fellow winners have been posting more about the food than themselves,” continued Pax as the two siblings started heading towards the snack table where Elliot Vance and his sibling Harper Vance were having an eating competition.

“Hey there, mind giving us five minutes? We would like to interview you two about your awards,” said Eos.

“We...ant...eed...eaf....fafter” Said Elliot while munching into his food with fervour.

“What did you say? I don’t understand?” said Pax, confused.

“eaf...ing...con...fe...fifon...I...wiff...win,” mumbled Harper in between bites.

“I think they are doing an eating competition. Probably to settle their rivalry with this,” said the elder Elara.

“In that case.... Wooo go Elliot! You were the best!” cheered on Pax.

“Nonsense, Harper had the best performance. If you knew the amount of tissues I cried in watching their acting,” argued Eos as he wiped a tear from his eye.

“Maybe yes, but Eliot’s growth was one of the best part of the book. Uncultured swines like you can’t tell the difference,” voiced out Pax before the siblings started bickering among themselves.

Noticing the fight, Elliot tapped his sibling on their shoulder and said, “We don’t sound like this do we?”

“Nah, our banters are better. Let’s just leave them at it,” said Harper after they finished their food before leaving.

“They should value their kinship more,” mumbled Elliot as he walked away with Harper, however the two Elara could not hear him and just kept fighting among themselves about who had the best performance. It was only when a certain man appeared that they had to stop.

“Can I pass please? You two can bicker elsewhere,” said the man who was none other than Thomas Hunt.

“Ah Mr.Hunt, we are very sorry. Anyway Elliot, Harper can you lend us a word now?” said Pax.

“Welp, they are gone. I guess that means you will have to answer our questions now Mr.Hunt,” said Eos.

“I don’t get a say in this, do I?” asked the director.

“No you don’t. You know we will be annoying until you give us your time,” replied Pax.

“I knew I shouldn’t have come here. First that high school director wanna be and now paparazzi wanna bes. Begin your questions already,” grumbled Hunt.

“Well, as a director, do you agree with the winners of this year’s CCAs?” asked Eos.

“The winners are more or else deserved, although I believe Veil Of Secrets should have won the best atmosphere category though,” said the director when the buzzer suddenly rang.

--BE WARNED: The following section is not safe for work nor suitable for minors, read at your own perils or you can skip it till the next time you see bold text.--

“Looks like its time to search a question for our amazing director to answer, Eos will you do us the honour,” said Pax.

“Of course, here is one by @teamtomsato:

“Hiya Hunty :3333 Have you read my fic yet? Here’s the link! I’m really proud of it! *link to their ao3 fic* *gazillions of heart emojies* “

Aww how sweet. They want to ask you if you read their fanfiction, so have you done so Mr.Thomas,” said Eos

“I do not have time for such nonsense. I’m also having a bad feeling about this,” shuddered the director.

“Come on, it is just a story. What’s so bad about it? I know! How about we read just a page of it right now. Choose a page!” proposed the younger Elara.

“Ugh, let’s see then. Page 84. I don’t think that person’s fanfiction would be that long,” growled Hunt.

“Well you are wrong Hunty. This person’s story is 169 pages long. Here, I already put it on page 84,” said Eos as he handed the grumpy director his phone.

“I guess I should play along just so that this martyr ends quickly,” said Hunt as he started reading off that page.

Additional warning: This is the time that i recommend you to skip to the next bolded sentence once again as the following part is heavily nsfw and definitely not suited for minors.

“Hunt’s rough hands find their landing on Jessica’s shoulders, holding her tightly as his fluid movements against her body cause her to scream out in pleasure.

“Harder Daddy, hARDER!” Jessica’s pants, the grumpy marshmallow picking up his momentum inside of her slick caverns, overflowing with her love juice.

“You like that princess?” Hunt growls into her ear, “You like daddy’s big dick?”

“I love your big dick daddy!”

“read Thomas, astonished.

“Wh-why...” stammered the director, aghast.

“Oh no, this is bad...We thought we passed through the worst earlier but this is nothing compared to this,” muttered Pax.

“Let’s just walk away like nothing happened,” said Eos but as they tried to go away, the director stopped them.

“Hold on. I’ve got a message for you @teamtomsato . I’ve called the police. They are coming to get you. You going to jail. You hear me. JAIL,” yelled Hunt as he grabbed the camera and focused it onto him.

--You my now continue read. The nsfw part is now over-

“Alright let’s see who we can talk to now...” smiled Pax.

“Hopefully it won’t be someone indecent. Wait, Rye? What are you doing here?” asked Eos after he noticed Rye hanging around.

“What are you doing here, its not your book’s year yet,” said Pax.

“I’m just here to observe. This way It will be perfect when we get win the awards,” smiled Rye.

“Cocky aren’t we?” teased Eos.

“Well I have a reason to be so sure of myself. Our book is doing really good right now and Eris and Tillie have a good shot at winning the best Female LI category. The only real opponent we have are the Desire and Decorum team and also if another It Lives comes out,” explained the conman,

“Interesting. What about your teammates? It is odd to see you all alone, especially without even Eris or Lee,” asked Pax.

“Well they are kinda on a job right now...” smiled Rye and as if on cue, an explosion occurred in the hall they were gathered in.

“The escape route has been formed, let’s go go go!” ordered Eris as members of her crew started running towards the hole she made with jewellery and trophies in hand.

“Well, this is a good bye. See you at the CCAs 2019 and remember to vote us when the time comes,” smiled Rye as he also disappeared through the hole.

“Arggggh I’m not letting them get away! Zekei! Deimos! Parker! Naomi! Let’s catch those thieves!!!” roared Eos as he pulled out his ray gun.

“Well I guess this little report is ending right here. We hope you had a lot of fun and we can’t wait to see you again for the CCAs 2019!!!” smiled Pax before the program ended.

-------------------------

Phew finally finished this fic and with it concludes the 208 round of the CCAs. This fic came in impromptu in my mind so to prevent it from also getting inside the endless cycle of never being written I decided to rush it and I got it right,

IF you enjoyed the fanfiction, please leave a like or a comment/reblog, I like hearing other’s opinions. If you really like my style, please do check my masterpost (in my bio or press the masterpost word) which features all of my written work.

#my fics #CCAs2018 #playchoices #fanfiction #choices stories you play

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pftones3482 · 6 years

Text

God, what a blast from the past. I haven’t written Phineas and Ferb fanfiction in literally almost two years (my username has become more sentiment than anything lol)

Commission for @crazyfanatic97. Halloween-esque, because who doesn’t enjoy Halloween in July?

Consider donating to my Ko-fi if you like my writing.

Vanessa was going to kill her father when he got back.

It wasn’t just that he had left her alone, at this Halloween party that he had insisted on throwing for the whole neighborhood for some reason. It was that he left her alone because he turned into a fucking were-cow, if Perry’s posts on Instagram were to be any kind of clue.

She sighed and set her phone down, checking her hair one more time before grabbing her things and exiting her room. She headed down to the lobby of the building – no evil castle this time, thank god – and observed the guests for a moment from the stairwell before showing herself.

Like before, even though her father had set it up, Vanessa had called Phineas and Ferb to double check party decorations, various lights to make sure they wouldn’t accidentally kill anyone, and the like. They were still hanging around, Phineas in a Luke Skywalker costume and Ferb in a Darth Maul one, weirdly enough. She didn’t understand the choices, but she didn’t really question it either.

They had brought along their friends, who were bounding around in themed costumes helping guests, and Vanessa shook her head and smiled. Always the helpful kids, she supposed. She’d have to thank them for it later.

Stacy and Candace were in the far corner, Stacy dressed as Jasmine from Aladdin and Candace as the human version of Ariel. Ironically, they all kind of matched. She walked over to them first.

“Hey guys,” she called out as she got closer.

When they looked over at her, their jaws fell just a little, and Vanessa couldn’t help but be smug about it. “Girl,” Stacy gasped out. “You look INCREDIBLE! How did you get your hair to look like that?”

“How did we all theme ourselves as Disney princesses without even discussing it first?” Candace wondered.

Vanessa was decked head to toe as Belle from Beauty and the Beast, right down to the golden ball gown that she had hand sewn for months. She wasn’t why she had felt so compelled to make it; someone at school had told her that she had the complexion and the hair for the Disney princess, and after a little bit of researching, she had agreed.

Something about the story of Beauty and the Beast had inspired her too. The way that it implied that anyone could find love, regardless of their background? It was kind of nice to think about, all things considered.

Speaking of...

Vanessa pulled her phone out from the pockets she had stitched into the dress at the last second on a whim. She was glad for that now.

Perry had put up another post on his private Instagram. Her father was somewhere on the south side of town, rampaging through some bushes or something. The image was a very unamused looking secret agent in the foreground, with her father passed out behind him.

Vanessa snorted, hit the like button, and clicked her phone off again, setting it away. She looked up at Stacy and Candace, who were chatting about their homework.

“So did you guys come here with your boyfriends?” Vanessa asked, simultaneously wanting to play good host but also genuinely curious.

They grinned and nodded at the stage, where a group was setting up to play. Jeremy and Coltrane, both dressed as matching princes to their girlfriend’s princess, were up on stage tuning instruments, chatting together and with their other bandmates. “Phineas and Ferb got them to bring the whole band,” Stacy informed her.

Vanessa nodded, a bit impressed. “Nice.”

“So....do you have a date?” Candace asked. Her tone held a teasing lilt to it, and her eyes sparkled in amusement as she nudged Vanessa.

Vanessa wrinkled her nose and ducked her chin. “Not...not really, no.”

“How do you mean?”

Vanessa could feel Stacy looking at her sympathetically; seeing as she knew the whole dilemma with Perry and Monty and Monogram, she wasn’t surprised. She didn’t look at her when she answered. “My...the guy I invited probably won’t be able to come. Our dads don’t like each other a whole lot.”

“Your dad isn’t even here,” Stacy pointed out.

Vanessa rolled her eyes. “Trust me, everyone is grateful for that right now.”

Her phone pinged softly, another alert from Instagram, and she hid a grin. “I’m gonna go check on the other guests for a bit, you guys have fun, okay?”

They chorused an affirmative and Vanessa moved aside, pulling her phone out and glancing at the screen. Another check in, this time from a bit closer to the center of town, in a pumpkin patch about two miles towards the suburbs. Perry didn’t look very amused anymore, just sleepy.

Jeremy and Coltrane started up their music, a quick, rolling number that had people scrambling for the dance floor in all assortment of costumes. Fairies, witches, wolves, vampires, snake people, Greek partyers – there was something for everyone.

Halloween was one of Vanessa’s favorite holidays, which always made people snort upon hearing it. Of course the goth girl would like Halloween, right?

But no, she liked it for what people could dress up as, seeing the creativity that came every year. It wasn’t like Christmas, a false sense of cheer and fake gratitude for gifts you didn’t want or need, not dealing with rude family members at dinner who ruined the festivity.

Halloween was a small enough holiday that it didn’t require family get togethers, but large enough to have a Hallmark section in the store and a massive following online. It was the one time of year where anyone could be what they wanted and no one could judge them for it, only praise them for really cool costumes.

Vanessa supposed she liked that sense of freedom. She wasn’t super girly in her day-to-day life, but on Halloween, she could be Belle, and no one would blink twice except maybe to ask why she hadn’t made her undead...which was definitely a thought for next years costume.

“Didn’t know if I would be able to find you here,” came a soft voice from behind her. “Though with that outfit, you’re pretty much wearing the most amazing costume here.”

Vanessa stiffened and turned slowly to find Monty standing there, a warm smile on his face and a hint of a blush on his cheeks. He was dressed in a modest vampire outfit, so simple that, had he not been wearing a cape and small fangs, Vanessa wouldn’t have noticed, it was more like a suit than anything.

They honestly probably couldn’t have matched better, in a weird, sort of ironic way.

“You came,” she breathed.

Monty shrugged, a boyish grin on his lips. “Of course I did. You sent me an invitation, after all.”

“I didn’t think your dad-”

Monty laced their fingers together, cutting her off, and twirled her gently, his eyes taking in her outfit. “What my dad doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Care to dance?”

“Absolutely.”

They had taken barely two steps when the wall behind them crashed open and her dad, still a fucking cow, bolted through, mooing at passerby. People in the immediate path dove for cover and everyone else clapped and whistled, probably thinking it a stunt.

Vanessa wasn’t about to correct them.

Perry charged through after him, wearing a fake mustache and glasses to hide his identity, and rolled his eyes at her when he saw her. Vanessa bit back a chuckle. “As much as I want to dance, I think maybe we should help Perry,” she laughed, kicking off her heels.

Monty shook his head and removed his fangs. “Couldn’t agree more.”

#phineas and ferb #my writing #writing commissions #pnf #montnessa #vanessa doofenshmirtz #monty monogram #background canderemy

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cerealmonster15 · 7 years

Text

ddadds kids....

i like thinking about them as one big extended cul-de-sac family... [headcanons and stuff!]

imagine all the families spending the holidays together! i’m sure some celebrate things that the rest dont but theyd probs have one big generic get together during The Holiday Season

all of the kids are crammed together on one big “kid’s table” even tho like half of them are teenagers and there are more offspring than parents

someone always ends up starting a food fight,, usually ernest and lucien, or the twins [either pair. both pairs?? christie and christian vs hazel and briar??]

this was referenced in game once so amanda probs ends up babysitting a lot when she’s home from college for breaks+ during that short time shes still around before she leaves! she’d be a cool fun babysitter, but tough enough to keep some of the more rambunctious kids in check ;p

[ernest voice] dad i dont NEED a babysitter!!! [hugo voice] son i want to know that i can be away for the weekend and come home to a house that isn’t on fire

ernest is probs really snarky to amanda when she babysits like “youre not the boss of me” and going out of his way to cause trouble, but amanda is Cool and probs gives him a run for his money with snark and idk shenanigans ensue and he probs secretly admires her and thinks she’s awesome but would rather die than let anyone ever find out

lucien looks like he might be fairly close to amanda’s age? they probs dont have all that much in common, but damien’s date revealed that lucien listens to mcr, and amanda made her dad listen to black parade, so I bet they could bond over some music tastes here and there

LET LUCIEN GIVE AMANDA A COOL GOTH MAKEOVER

amanda: pleeeeeaaaaassseeeeeee ;D??? lucien: no way. the goth lifestyle isnt for posers i think with enough pestering she’d get him to cave. he’d take great time and care while painting her nails to make sure he does it Right

amanda probs comments on how careful and skilled he does it like “wow you really take this stuff seriously” “uh obviously??”

once he finishes, amanda takes a pic, and then all the other neighbors see her and are bothering lucien to make them look cool too. he pretends to hate it but actually has a lot of fun and is secretly really happy that they think he’s good at what he does

amanda convinces lucien to do like, cool goth makeup videos and put them on youtube/instagram. she helps him with filming and doing photography of final looks and together they get a lot of followers. sometimes she’ll guest star in his videos if he needs a face model other than his own

amanda’s kinda freaked out by christie and christian at first but over time gets used to and sees past their “creepy twin shtick” and, much like her dad [in the joseph brownie date] learns to use it to mess with them and possibly other people

at first chris probably doesnt talk to amanda a lot and keeps to himself when she’s over, but maybe over time she’d adapt to him and learn a few things hes interested in and express gentle interest in those things to kind of help him open up to her more

chris gets quietly attached to her like shes an older sister

everyone in the cul de sac does. they love amanda

AND EACH OTHER

i want daisy to be involved with the carmensita and amanda girl band thing mentioned briefly during one of mat’s dates. that’d be adorable

you know what else would be adorable? allllll the cul de sac kids coming to briar and hazel’s softball games to support them.

the kids going to each others’ anything to support them!! when theyre in clubs and activities that put on shows or performances or other sports games, as many of the neighbors that can make it are there

when they get older, they try to be more and more obnoxious to embarrass their neighbors in front of everyone, like making huge support signs and banners with glitter with a stupid yet supportive pun that one of their dads helped come up with, or printing their neighbor’s face on a tshirt or a giant cutout on a popsicle stick, shouting as loud as possible

they def went to amanda’s actual graduation and PROBABLY ALL CRIED

a lot of this has amanda centric bc i Love Her, but also,,

maybe hugo and craig start going to wrestling matches together [+dadsona] so ernest sees a lot of the cahn kids. if amanda’s in town, she’s with them and in charge. if not, ernest is technically in charge, but secretly [not so secretly probably] the dads are counting on briar and hazel [briar, mostly] to keep things from falling to disaster for the few hours theyre out

they all like to take turns riding on the Giant Dog that ernest got in damien’s route [duchess something i think?] [a good component that should be canon in all universes]

“lets put river on him” “no she’ll fall off” “wheres the duct tape” “n o”

if enough disaster happens leaving these kids alone together, they probably get dropped off at another dad’s house to be looked after for a while. joseph volunteers to look after them but since he and mary are already looking after 4 and KEEP LOSING CRISH, they tend to try and ask literally anyone else

[not that theyre bad parents lmao but it’d be easier for all the other parents that just have One Kid]

i bet christian and christie love robert’s wild spooky stories. he probably makes up so much bullshit to fuck with any kid that’s listening

they’d carpool if they could fit enough kids in one car. it’s probably a 2-3 car carpool depending on who’s driving what size car and who needs to go where at what time

there are probably so many inside jokes[CUL DE SAC MEMES......] that are born at every cul de sac gathering.

when amanda’s home from college, all the kids wanna be the first to tell her all about the SHENANIGANS she’s missed out on

river and crish are bffs once theyre old enough for human interaction. they Have To Be.

pranking each other in the school hallways plz, or just all around chaos. god help the teachers that somehow end up with 2+ of the cul de sac kids in the same class

ernest definitely sends his dog to poop on damien’s lawn outside lucien’s bedroom window / probably does the flaming bag of dog poop ding dong ditch when he knows lucien’s home alone and will be the one to answer the door

christie and chris like when briar and hazel pretend to be each other, so they get their hands on a pair of scissors and chris gives christie a terrible haircut. possibly briar and hazel try and help with the scheme and things just get Worse and joseph has to take his daughter to a Professional [or maybe one of the dads is really good with hair/has had their child do the same thing and is good with fixing a bad haircut ;p]

carmensita goes through a goth phase after she goes over to lucien’s to be babysat one day. mat does not know how to Deal bc this isnt the type of music hes used to playing but he loves and supports his daughter regardless and likes to hear her singing all kinds of music to broaden her horizons and strengthen her talent

G R O U P T E X T between all the kids old enough to have phones

there are lots of memes. lots. of memes.

they take candid shitty photos of each other all the time and send them in the chat, and particularly amusing ones end up reused as reaction photos

lucien: [sends photo of ernest having just spilled cereal on himself with duchess in the background making off with a piece of pizza] ernest: fuck u carmensita: mood daisy: why are you having pizza and cereal for breakfast? ernest: dont tell me how to live my life amanda: lol tag urself i’m duchess

this is just something i like to do w/ my friends but they’d probs also stealthily take pictures of each other when theyre out and about and send them to each other in secret like amanda’s out with her dad at the grocery store and spots lucien and damien in the dairy isle and is like FUCK,, she hides behind a stand of donuts or w/e and takes a pic of them and sends it to lucien w/ no context or like “lol hey”

it becomes a war of sending pics of each other to each other/the group without getting caught. lucien and ernest probably act like they think it’s stupid but get so competitive about it

they all keep score and it probably also would extend to taking stealthy pics of cul de sac dads too Just Because

the dads find out about the competition somehow and like,,, secretly are so into who’s winning. especially brian and dadsona. sometimes they’ll try and serve as a distraction for their child to get a sneaky pic so they can win, but usually the kids prefer the solo missions

val comes and visits sometimes with cool stories. sometimes she brings her girlfriend, and amanda especially looks up to them like two cool older sisters [i dont remember if it was jacket pins or photography that val said her gf is into, but whatever it is i’m sure amanda would geek out about it with her]

christie and christian eventually grow out of their “creepy twin” thing but still have a more unique brand of humor/personality. the cul de sac kids are used to them by then, and will THROW DOWN with anyone that bullies them/ calls them freaks or anything like that, or anyone that picks on chis [and eventually crish] by association or for any other reason

THESE KIDS MAY ARGUE AND FIGHT AND STUFF SOMETIMES BUT THEY’LL STICK UP FOR EACH OTHER IF ANYONE OUTSIDE THE CUL DE SAC TRIES TO START SOMETHING W/ ONE OF THEIR OWN

i could go on forever making up headcanons or scenarios for these kids bc i love them and constantly crave more content about them but imma stop here bc it’s been over an hour and this is Long but anyway plz talk to me about these kids + the cul de sac as a whole. share ur headcanons,,,,, i l o v e the m ,,

#ddadds #headcanons #long post #VERY LONG MY B #dream daddy #I GOT REALLY INTO IT #but now i gotta clean my room a bit hurgk blegh

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