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marvelmaniac715 · 3 days

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I wrote a poem about Linda Monroe from the perspective of gossipers and announcers at pageants/contests, sort of examining how Linda was viewed for her entire life (maybe I’ve watched too much Toddlers & Tiaras?):

Let’s welcome to the stage contestant number 5

Little Linda Murray, a beauty queen hopeful

She’s only five, isn’t she a picture?

Simply ravishing, she has her mother’s beauty

Her mother was our Honey Queen, how will her heir fare?

She likes playing with her dolls and pleasing her father

We’re told she bleached her teeth by herself

Her routine is so rehearsed - oh, she’s been practicing without sleep for months?

Her father must be so proud of her

For your consideration - Linda Murray for Little Miss Hatchetfield

Let’s welcome to the stage prom queen candidate Miss Linda Murray

Isn’t she gorgeous? No expenses were spared

A picture in her pink tulle ballgown, studded with glittering rubies

With her bevy of suitors in tow, each richer than the last

This lucky lady can have her pick of the boys

But what does she offer as a romantic partner?…

Well, she’s beautiful, and… she might be intelligent - certainly eager to please

Could that be seen as attention-seeking?

What does her father think of her behaviour?

But still, for your consideration - the lovely Linda Murray for your prom queen

Did you hear about Linda Murray- sorry, Monroe’s- wedding?

Well, she looked nice, the dress was pretty

The ceremony was lavish, with an ice sculpture to boot

But don’t you think it was performative?

Who was the ridiculous splendour for?

Did you know that her father didn’t walk her down the aisle? Oh well, he must’ve been busy

Her husband’s career seems steady, Linda’s made herself a trophy wife

Isn’t it odd? None of us ever emphasised her beauty, doesn’t she have brains beyond her desire to please?

I’d bet anything that this is just for attention on Linda’s part

But still, please welcome to the dance floor the bride and groom, Mr and Mrs Monroe!

Let’s welcome to the clearing, this year’s Honey Queen Linda Monroe!

Isn’t she ravishing? The perfect sacrifice, really

After all, beneath her hunger is that delicious desire to please, for attention

From her husband, from her children, from her father most of all

But did he ever really love her? Well, does it matter?

Such a pity, she’s screaming now, where’s that insufferable confidence?

A shame she only had boys… perhaps the pageant could expand to Honey Kings once they’re older?

Or maybe their daughters could take up the mantle? How will her heirs fare?

And now she’s gone down the hatch, her beauty is no more

There’s no time or reason to mourn her, but still, congratulations to this year’s Honey Queen, Linda Monroe

#team starkid #starkid #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #the hatchetfield series #hatchetblr #nightmare time #nightmare time 2 #honey queen #black friday starkid #linda monroe #poetry #angst #creative writing #my poetry

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nobodysdaydreams · 7 months

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One of the funniest things about “Hatchet Town” is that over the course of three musicals and Nightmare Time, most, if not a significant number Hatchetfield residents HAVE committed murder or been accomplices/accessories to murder in at least one timeline. To the point where if you randomly accused pretty much anyone in town of being a murderer, there’s a good chance you’d be right.

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almondcroissantsandink · 5 months

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the weather here has been incredibly icky so I watched The Guy Who Didn't like Musicals for the first time and Joey Richter always makes the best expressions

#tgwdlm #the guy who didn't like musicals #starkid #musical #joey richter #ted spankoffski #tgwdlm fanart #art #digital art #csp #clip studio paint #artists on tumblr #illustration #he makes faces like an animated character like he emotes SO clearly #he had so many good lines too #'careful paul...he might kick your head'#paul matthews #the hatchetfield series

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myersesque · 7 months

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so i found a wonderful thread on the r/Starkid subreddit today

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constellama · 7 months

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I saw a headcanon that human!wiggly was using richie’s face during the summoning and I’m a little insane about it. Because if you think about it, it makes total sense.

“Why would Wiggly want to appear as a nerdy prude if his whole thing is power?” I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN BUT HEAR ME OUT.

Do you know how terrifying it would be to see your dead friend’s body being repurposed and puppeted in front of you? You’d be horrified. And that’s what Wiggly wants, in a way. He wants to be feared. If his human form was just another jock, it wouldn’t be as scary would it? After everything Steph, Pete, and Grace had gone through, another jock probably wouldn’t have had much effect on them. But their friend? Who they didn’t even get to fully mourn?? It’s like salt in the wound. They’d be vulnerable. Weak.

And don’t even get me started on the talking mannerisms?? In the boys bathroom scene when Richie says “and what, pray tell, may that be, Stephanie?” it’s the EXACT same way Wiggly says “What’s in your pocket Stephanie?”

To conclude, I love being insane about minuscule details 👍

#starkid #the hatchetfield series #nerdy prudes must die #richie lipschitz #stephanie lauter #pete spankoffski #grace chasity #wiggog y'wrath #wiggly #constellama talks

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violetheart77 · 7 months

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Happy Halloween Beans 👻🧡🖤

(text post source)

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lucreziaborgiagf · 3 months

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nightmare time: abstinence camp (starkid, 2021)

#starkid #nightmare time #id in alt text #rey told me to post this #i have… so many thoughts about them #i did make myself laugh with this though #so i apologise if it’s been done #abstinence camp #boy jerry #girl jeri #hatchetverse #hatchetfield #the hatchetfield series

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songsofnoble · 7 months

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i don't know if it's actually intentional, or meant to be read this way, but i'm kinda obsessed with how pete seems to subconciously protect steph with his body in the summoning- i refuse to believe otherwise honestly it's fucking cute. (i'd lowkey love to see what the script says or know what joey was directed to do during this scene, or even if it's purely an acting choice from joey)

#nerdy prudes must die #npmd #starkid #npmd spoilers #team starkid #the hatchetfield series #lautski #pete spankoffski #steph lauter

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your-fave-isdoomedbythenarrative · 7 months

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Ted Spankoffski is not just doomed by the narrative, he is doomed by the narrative in such a way that makes him doomed in every narrative. Twice even.

( @spookysplatt , @ren-is-real )

Ted Spankoffski from Hatchetfield / The Hatchetverse is doomed by the narrative and trying to escape.

#first of all why are you apologizing i welcome all blorbos ye enter. second of all this guy must be REALLY doomed if there's three of you #ted spankoffski #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #the hatchetfield series #starkid hatchetfield #team starkid #starkid #one of the doomed #your fave is #sent in from the box

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hatchetasks · 5 months

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my stephanie lauter cosplay looks like if pete wore her clothes

#nerdy prudes must die #team starkid #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #npmd #starkid #the hatchetfield series #tgwdlm #black friday #hatchetfield universe

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silamander · 2 months

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They would be mortal enemies

#starkid #hatchetfield #the hatchetfield series #hatchetblr #smosh #smoshblr #grace chasity #mr grubb #angela giarratana #damien haas

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marvelmaniac715 · 1 month

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PEOPLE LISTEN TO ME! I watched the Halloween livestream and Working Boys is AMAZING, I need more of you guys to be able to watch it so I can openly gush, so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help @the-real-team-starkid reach their next goal to fund Cinderella’s Castle and to unlock this short film!

#team starkid #starkid #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #the hatchetfield series #hatchetblr #working boys #cinderella’s castle #kickstarter #please donate #donation goal

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abiimaryy · 8 months

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an appropriately unhinged recap of the hatchetfield series

A little late for the five year anniversary BUT... IT'S FINALLY HERE!! My full length deep-dive video into EVERYTHING you need to know about Hatchetfield before watching Nerdy Prudes Must Die!!!

youtube

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maeofthedead · 5 months

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Obsessed with the format of live theater being used for horror. There's an audience right there, but they won't help you. In fact, they've paid to watch you suffer. And all of the awful things that are happening, have happened, and will keep happening. Again and again and again.

#the guy who didn't like musicals #the hatchetfield series #Yeah I'm mostly talking about starkid i guess #But still #It's sucha cool concept and I hope it shows up more

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myersesque · 7 months

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i think part of why npmd works so well is bc the nerdy prudes are all kinda real af??? like... i dressed just like pete in highschool and have pictures to prove it. for better or for worse, watching richie in certain scenes was like fondly cringing at my past self. ruth's reflexive "don't bully me!" and their collective tendency to assume the worst whenever the popular kids talk to them (and the realisation that not all of them are bad, actually, some of them - like steph - are really cool)... god. it's so real. painfully so, at times

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constellama · 28 days

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The Run Away With Me music video is so funny to me bc the first time I watched it I immediately was like “whoever directed this just made it for Curt and Kim” and then I looked at who directed it and

of course it was directed by Curt. Curt Mega just made a music video of him being in love with his with wife for three minutes and that’s so real of him

#starkid #the hatchetfield series #hatchetfield #nightmare time #killer track #duke keane #miss holloway #curt mega #kim whalen #constellama talks

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