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fleckcmscott · 4 years

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Watch What Happens - Chapter 14

Chapter links: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

Summary: Arthur, an aspiring comedian, has struggled to find normalcy and compassion his entire life. Y/N, a hard-working paralegal and transplant to Gotham, has just been put on a case for the Wayne Foundation. When they meet, unexpected sparks fly.

Chapter warning: Swearing

Words: 2,673

After breakfast and some passionate necking in the doorway, Arthur had left. As he’d disappeared into the elevator, he gave a playful but modest wave and smiled. Coincidentally, the next door neighbor had popped out to get her paper. When Y/N had greeted her, the woman had kept her eyes averted, muttered a quick, "Morning," then hurriedly went back inside.

At first Y/N had found it odd, but then it’d dawned on her. Maybe she needed to learn to keep her voice down.

Chuckling, she’d gone back into the apartment and the bedroom, considering changing the sheets. But, blushing happily, she’d left them alone. He would be over again that night; she’d been sure they'd wind up between them. Then she’d checked the sofa. She hated trying to launder upholstery and wasn't particularly good at it. Luckily, she hadn't seen anything that would have given away their activities - her robe had been in the way.

From the moment he was gone, she knew she was head over heels. Her eighty-seven percent certainty had increased to ninety-six over the course of their morning. He hadn't said much after they'd gotten up, but his actions touched her. After a little prompting, he'd poured coffee for them, then asked how she liked hers. He'd made it with one sugar and a shot of milk. (Seemingly nervous that he'd make it too white, he'd kept asking, "Is that enough?") Then he'd hovered next to her while she cooked. It'd already felt like he belonged there.

The speed with which the comfort of routine had developed between them was startling. In her past relationships, she'd taken things slowly. Jeff, her ex-husband, was someone she'd met as a sophomore in high school. He'd been a college freshman, studying pre-law. It had taken five months before they started dating. He was a good man - they exchanged Christmas cards every year, letting each other know they were still alive. But they'd gotten married only a month after she'd graduated, before she’d had a chance to develop her own identity.

Y/N decided the biggest distinction between then and the present was that she'd grown-up. Taking care of her father had forced her to mature quickly. She hadn't had time for other people's bullshit and had to figure out how to clearly say yes and no, something she'd struggled with until her late-twenties. She'd had to learn what she did and did not want.

Arthur, even the Arthur who'd been trembling and biting his nails on the couch with his Gotham Department of Health notebook, was what she wanted. It was surprisingly easy to like and love him, not only because he was handsome, kind, and most of what she’d experienced of him had been great. But also because she now knew herself.

Picturing him, while sitting at her desk and trying to work, made the corners of her lips turn up. Nervous excitement and plain happiness caused her to laugh quietly. She felt foolish. She hadn’t giggled like that since she’d been a teenager, lip-syncing badly to the radio with her sister.

She truly was trying to act professionally that morning. But at their usual mid-week meeting with Matt, Patricia passed her a note with the words, “You can’t stop smiling!” written on it. Y/N gave it back, feeling like a girl trying not to get caught by the teacher, with a heart, followed by two questions marks and an exclamation point.

Once the meeting ended, Patricia arched a brow at her. Y/N put her palm to her face, groaning. The note had been terribly out of character. “I just wanted to know what it was like to be girly. Once.” Her embarrassment had quickly faded, though, and she said, “I promise I’ll tell you everything tonight.”

The rest of work went by uneventfully, with her back to preparing the firm's family cases. They were a gallery of dysfunction. There had been a rise in children being taken from their parents due to substance abuse disorder after budget cuts had stopped their treatment. And there was a stack of protection from abuse orders, including pictures of bruises and other injuries. The occasional petty divorce filings were a nice break. She would sometimes reread the best complaints when she needed a chuckle. Though the work wasn’t difficult, by early afternoon she was exhausted and trying not to nod off at her desk.

She left early, then, and made her way to the Gotham Bureau of Corporations to try to find more information on Renew Corp. It turned out it had been registered as a limited liability corporation. As a result, their annual reports and registered agents were openly available. The photocopies she made cost her $2.35 at five cents a page. Sitting on the floor at her coffee table, she reviewed the reports. Most of them were about profits and projects, which didn't interest her. She already knew the addresses they were after. The list of registered agents intrigued her, though. She'd have to go over her plan with Patricia.

But first she had to figure out how to explain what she thought was happening in a way that didn't make her sound crazy. Who would believe that Gotham's largest philanthropic organization was responsible for a third-party harassing poor people instead of helping them? She'd find it hard to believe herself if she hadn't taken a closer look. But she was at a loss as to what other conclusion could be drawn.

~~~~~

When Y/N told Patricia her general theory, she'd been skeptical. But once the shoe boxes of letters tenants were getting were pulled out, Patricia's eyes widened. "You coming over here with the file was a risk," Y/N told her, putting the folder on the table. "It means a lot. I don't want you to do anything else that could get you in trouble."

Patricia shook her head. "I've been there forever. Matt won't ask questions. The only reason you got caught was your big mouth and bad luck."

Taking out a plate for the scones she’d picked up, Y/N smirked in response.

Patricia grabbed one of the pastries and took a bite. "Before we start work, I need to know what on earth is going on with you and this guy you're dating." Despite the exasperation in her voice, she looked amused. "You're glowing."

After putting on the kettle, Y/N boosted herself up on the counter next to the stove. She crossed her ankles. "His name's Arthur Fleck. He's a performer - he's sometimes a clown at the children's hospital. He’s an aspiring stand-up. I think he's a little older than me. Early to mid-forties?"

"This is the-" Patricia made air quotes "'-good looking pie guy,' right?" she asked. "How did you meet?"

Grinning, Y/N went into how they'd kept meeting serendipitously. That he was gentle with her, something she hadn't experienced much in her life. (Given her assertive personality, most people appeared to think she never wanted or needed it.) She flushed at the memories. "I think he's the last gentleman in Gotham. He holds the door open for me. He helps me with my coat." She wished he was there, right now, with his arm slung about her waist, hearing all the compliments she was giving him.

"We talk on the phone every night," Y/N continued, "and I look forward to those few minutes the whole day. He tells me jokes. Even when they're terrible, I love them." Shaking her head, she said, "He sometimes misunderstands what I say and doesn't know how to respond.” Her eyes fluttered shut as she breathed the rest. “He seems a little left footed with the world. But I’ve fallen in love with him, anyways."

It took a few seconds before Patricia spoke. "Already?"

Y/N folded her arms over her chest. "How long did it take before you knew you loved Robert?"

"I knew Robert and I were going to get married after our first date thirty years ago." Patricia stood and stretched her arms. "But sometimes I regret accepting his second invitation."

That prompted a snort from Y/N. "On our second date, I got wine-drunk and had a mini-breakdown on the sofa. Arthur didn't try to take advantage or leave. He just listened and tried to make me feel better."

The tea kettle started whistling, interrupting her train of thought. She hopped off the counter and started filling their cups. "I think the biggest thing we have in common is taking care of ailing parents - he cares for his mother." After sitting at the table, she dunked the teabag a few times. "It's rare to find someone who understands how hard that can be." A smile appeared on her face. "He gets it. He gets me. And I think I get him."

"Tell me three negative things about him," Patricia said.

Y/N cocked her head. "He smokes like a chimney - I don't know how he hasn't gotten cancer already. He's too unsure of himself." She scrunched up her face, remembering how he'd told her to leave after his mother had wounded him. "And he's too self-reliant. He thinks I don't notice, but I do."

Before asking her next question, Patricia took a long sip. "Have you slept with him?"

"Last night,” Y/N answered without hesitation. “This morning," She smirked. "I’m bone-tired, but hopefully tonight."

Patricia stared at her, then burst out laughing. "Jesus, Y/N."

Y/N cracked-up at her reaction, playfully smacking her arm. "Hey, I'm turning forty in April. If I see something I want, I'm going to grab it." She pointed at Patricia to emphasize what she said next. "And I can tell you, in his own words, he did not mind."

"Does he know how you feel?"

Y/N put down her teacup. "It's hard for me to open myself up. I'd shut that off for so long.” A sigh left her as she leaned back against the chair. “I know it doesn't make sense, but going to bed with him is easier than saying anything."

"He sounds like a decent man," Patricia said. "There aren't many in Gotham."

"There aren't many anywhere." After some silence, Y/N furrowed her brow. "He’s wonderful. But I can tell he has difficulties. Or at least he has in the past."

Patricia's eyebrows knit together. "Legal trouble?"

"No, nothing like that." Y/N adjusted her legs. How much information could she share without crossing a line? Maybe disclosing his affliction would be all right - he did have laminated cards he handed out. "He has a neurological condition that makes him laugh. It doesn't happen often, but I've seen it when he's nervous. It's been hard for him." She studied her tea, thinking of his notebook and all his medication.

And she felt shame, remembering how she'd shut him down like a coward when it'd seemed he was going to tell her everything.

"Do you want me to do a background check on him?" Patricia spoke quietly, her concern obvious.

Y/N waved the idea away. "No. There’s no reason.” Then she blushed. “I don’t even know why I told you. But," she smiled, "I appreciate you caring enough to ask." Pointing at the nearby folder, she said, “Now let’s get this over with so I can call him.”

They started on the file, then, sorting through the motions, writing down the day each one was filed with the court. Opening all the letters was a pain in the ass - Y/N was relieved she only got a couple of paper cuts. The dates on those were analyzed, too, and put onto a parallel list next to those of the filings. When they were finished, an hour or so later, they were able to confirm the motions and letters had started during the same time period.

Patricia sipped her tea, shrugging. "It could be a coincidence."

"Of course it could. That's why I got the list of registered agents with Renew Corp." Y/N got up and grabbed the reports she'd copied from the counter next to the stove. "I'm supposed to have the Wayne Foundation tax returns on Friday. I'll see if Renew Corp. is listed anywhere on there."

"Actually, I have a better idea." Patricia crossed her legs and indicated the reports with her pen. "The tax filings will have all the Wayne Foundation employees listed on one of the schedules. You can see if any of the names match the agents on the Renew reports."

Y/N leaned back against the counter. "I can't believe I didn't think of that." Frowning, she mentally went over the dates they’d written. “Did I see that a new motion was filed on Monday? Do you have it?”

“Yeah, we got our copy today. Why?” Patricia dug through the file until finding it, then handed it to her.

“When I looked through the file, nothing indicated a new motion was needed.” She started to scan it. It was a motion to amend the original filing, which meant addresses could either be added or taken off. This one added a few in order to, according to the summary, allow the building of an additional medical clinic wing. She didn’t recognize most of them: a residential building on Cortelyou Road, an empty lot on Sutter Avenue, a commercial area on Rockaway Boulevard. An apartment complex at 225a Anderson Avenue.

Her breath halted. 225a Anderson Avenue.

It made sense. Despite the heaviness forming in her stomach, and her inability to take in any air, it was perfectly logical. Ms. McPhee’s building was on the same block as Arthur’s, on a perpendicular street. Y/N closed her eyes, reaching back to grasp the counter.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?”

Heat rose from Y/N’s shoulders, through her neck, to her face. “Arthur… Arthur’s address is included.” She held out the paper to Patricia. “How am I supposed to tell him?”

Standing, Patricia put her hands on Y/N’s shoulders. “This is going to take months and months. And you’re trying to stop it.”

“I know, but-” Y/N started.

“Does he know the details of what you’re working on?” After Y/N shook her head, Patricia continued. “It’s not going to do any good to say anything.”

“I just told you I love him. How can I-”

The blaring sound of the phone interrupted her. After another couple rings, she went to grab the beige receiver from the wall next to the kitchen entrance. "Hello?"

"Hi. It's Arthur."

Y/N checked the clock - it was after seven. He'd probably expected her to call by now. Pointing at the receiver, she turned around and looked at Patricia. "Arthur, I'm sorry I haven't called yet. I was just talking about you." She took a breath, trying to keep her voice from reflecting the anger simmering inside her. "Why don't you come over now? You can meet Patricia before she-"

His voice was strained when he interrupted her. "No. I can't. Is there anyway you can come to the hospital?"

That was unexpected. She felt worry cross her face. "Are you all right?"

"It's my mother. We just got here. I don't know what's wrong. There was an ambulance when I got home from..." His tone lowered, sounding a little embarrassed. "Can you please come? I don't understand all the paperwork." A pause, then. “I don’t mean to bother you.”

"You’re never a bother. I'll be right there. Which hospital?" Y/N watched as Patricia rose from her chair and started packing up the file she'd brought.

"Gotham General. In the emergency room," he answered.

"I'm on my way." She grabbed her coat and purse as she hung up. "Arthur's mother's in the ER. I gotta grab a cab."

Patricia took her jacket. "I brought my car. I'll take you."

Y/N gave Patricia a good, long hug, something she rarely did. "I owe you. Thank you for helping me."

"Anytime. Arthur's not the only one who's too self-reliant."

Y/N rolled her eyes at Patricia and squeezed her arm as she lead them both into the hallway, then locked the door.

Tag list (Let me know if you want to be added!): @harmonioussolve @clowndaddyfleck @sweet-nothings04 @stephieraptorr @rommies @invisiblewispofwhimsey @let-the-stars-fall-in-the-abyss

#arthur fleck #arthur fleck fanfic #arthur fleck x reader #arthur fleck x ofc #arthur fleck x female reader #joker 2019 #watchwhathappens

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maidinyourhometown-blog · 4 years

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The Shift to Eco-Friendly Cleaning Supplies and Why You Should Care

There is no denying a grand shift in the way we clean, these days. With the eco-conscious cleaning supply market expected to grow 6.5% percent, or 19.9 billion dollars (360iResearch, 2019) between 2017 to 2024, everyone seems to be hopping on board the “green” train, but the question remains: Why now? Urgency is everywhere—turn on any news channel and you’ll find corrupt political leaders, tanking economies, a planet on fire, and cities in our own country without access to clean drinking water. But what does the global crises have to do with your toilet cleaner? There are many factors to the consumer’s interest in alternative cleaning supplies, but two key points to consider are personal health and global health. With global warming heating up our planet in disastrous and potentially irreversible ways and with the rise of young activists and media coverage, people everywhere are finally starting to pay attention, which includes finding small ways to pitch in. Another, admittedly less altruistic reason for the grand shift in cleaning products is our own safety. With more studies and widespread knowledge about the harmful chemicals in our everyday products (yes, the ones under your sink), people, especially parents and those chronically ill or with severe allergies and cleaning lady are wising up and opting for vinegar and lemon juice or plant-based products instead of big name-brands. In this article, I will answer why the mass deviation from standard cleaning supplies is growing and look closely at how our personal and global health motivate the seemingly small change.

How to Clean Green

Jump ahead to...

How to Clean Green

Personal Health

Eco-friendly Products

Reference Page

A step as small as changing which window cleaner you use could come from a need much larger. The rise of activists such as Greta Thunberg, a sixteen-year-old Swede fiercely determined to educate the world about our changing climate, including her widely publicized, recent U.N. speech (Meyer, 2019) appear to be engaging more people around the world. While the majority of the climate problems potential solutions lie in large, global corporations, there is still much we, as consumers, can do to be more aware and reduce our carbon footprint. After all, haven’t metal straws just had their moment in the spotlight? Perhaps, also, flat-out denial from so many leaders is equally motivating to make personal, daily changes, such as eco-conscious cleaning supplies. Whether through anger or hope, we are becoming informed. I remember being taught in school that the phosphates from these cleaners (Thompson, 2007) and other run-off sources can cause eutrophication of bodies of water, depleting oxygen and risking water quality, something my parents were not taught. In an attempt to purify a nation and a globe, people are stepping up and cleaning up, and that means re-vamping your supply closet.

Personal Health

Personal health may be an equally motivating factor. While some green cleaning supplies are marketing to parents, the message is really for all of us: your old disinfectants are not safe. Studies show that making the switch to an eco-friendly substitute can improve your indoor air quality, reduce the risk of respiratory infections, and even limit your contact with carcinogens (Harrington, 2018). In fact, the National Environmental Trust stated that “volatile organic compounds” can actually impair neurological functions. Babies and small children are at risk of breaking into the cleaning supply cabinet, but let’s face it, the adults using the products are just as likely to inhale toxins, or forget to wash their hands afterwards and leave traces of chemicals. It’s a bit unnerving to think the very products we use to “clean” our homes are actually the ones making the space dangerous. The health of the planet is becoming more dire with each day, but our own health could be, too.

Before adopting my kitten, I never put a second thought into which cleaning products to use in my home; however, after watching the kitten explore, sniff, and lick every corner of her new home, I began to have second thoughts about what she could be unintentionally ingesting as a result of my choices in cleaning products. Immediately, I purchased cleaning products I could use without making my kitten sick and shifted my entire cleaning routine. I am not the only pet owner – or indeed, the only person – who has chosen to incorporate green products into my life. More Americans than ever before are taking advantage of eco-friendly cleaning products in an effort to create a healthier living and working space, both at home and in the community, and to protect the greater environment among concerns of climate change and global warming.

Eco-friendly Products

By supporting eco-friendly cleaning products, individuals and companies have the potential to impact the environment on a larger scale than just their own lives. All cleaning products can affect anyone who enters a recently cleaned area, and in buildings such as schools, public offices, or the headquarters of a large corporation, this can amount to several hundred people. With non-green products, every individual who passes through is exposed to the same harmful chemicals that can potentially cause illnesses ranging from allergies to cancer. However, using eco-friendly cleaning products can ensure that these high-traffic areas are clean without contributing to health problems. According to the Sanitorial Janitorial Service, green cleaning materials are made without harsh chemicals such as heavy metals and phthalates, and any residues left behind are not likely to “increase the risk of the health problems for the people using the building and any pets” that might pass through (Service, 2017). Simply using a more eco-friendly cleaner enables a corporation or school to assist in creating a healthier environment in the building, thereby enabling a healthier lifestyle for all who spend time in the area.

Reference Page

360iResearch. (2019, April 24). Household Green Cleaning Products Market Worth $27.83 billion by 2024. Retrieved from https://www.marketwatch.com/press-release/household-green-cleaning-products-market-worth-2783-billion-by-2024-exclusive-report-by-360iresearch-2019-04-24

Harrington, J. (2018, February 05). 5 Reasons Why You Should Use “Green” Cleaning Products.” Retrieved from https://learn.compactappliance.com/green-cleaning-products/

Meyer, R. (2019, September 23). Why Greta Makes Adults Uncomfortable. Retrieved from https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2019/09/why-greta-wins/598612/

Thompson, A. (2007, August 06). The Truth About “Green” Cleaning Products. Retrieved from https://www.livescience.com/1737-truth-green-cleaning-products.html

Klich, T. (2019, January 11). How Anisa International Raised The Bar For Ethical Manufacturing In The Clean Beauty Business. Retrieved from Forbes: https://www.forbes.com/sites/tanyaklich/2019/01/11/how-anisa-international-raised-the-bar-for-ethical-manufacturing-in-the-clean-beauty-business/#5f03c056061b

Scutti, S. (2018, September 17). Household disinfectants could be making kids overweight, study says. Retrieved from CNN Health: https://www.cnn.com/2018/09/17/health/disinfectants-baby-gut-microbiota-bmi-study/index.html

Service, S. J. (2017, 11 02). Benefits of Using Eco-Friendly Cleaning Products. Retrieved from Sanitorial Janitorial: http://www.sanitorialjanitorial.com/blog/benefits-of-using-eco-friendly-cleaning-products

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missknavery-blog · 7 years

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A Wider Path

I just quit my job. I have nothing lined up. Yes, I’m okay. No, I don’t know what I’ll do next. I just needed to get out. I’m sure a few of my coworkers thought I was planning on killing myself. My lack of ability to explain what was going on in my head made them worry. But I know me, and I know what I need. And I needed to get out. I worked retail for 10 years, from 18 to 28. I just turned 29 five days ago and quitting my job was my birthday gift to myself. I celebrated my birthday and New Year’s Eve as a free woman, no pressure of going back to work looming on the horizon. It’s the first time I’d had both New Year’s Eve AND my birthday off in a long time, since they’re on consecutive days, in the holiday season, and most employers aren’t happy with me taking that time of year off. The job that I just left was a corporation, I worked there for four and a half years, I started out believing that it was a good place to work and had employee’s interests in mind, but I watched as, year after year, the wrong decisions were made. All I see now is a company desperately trying to make money by spending money to grasp at other money. Building on growth and growing by building. Not building on an actual stable foundation, or rather, not building within the stable confines of that foundation, instead, trying to build upwards and outwards rather than outwards first, like an upside-down pyramid. Does that make sense? This is a company that preaches sustainability in all things.

Our team lost 5 employees in July - August, of the then 15 or 16 person team, a team which had started 20 strong... we failed to hire anyone for several months. Meanwhile, we all worked overtime, extra days, whatever it took to keep things running. Our boss was finally let go/fired/who knows, much to all of our relief. She’d been a very lazy boss and was ultimately dragging us down. On top of our department taking on more responsibility, we’d lost one of our specialists who was in charge of buying at least half if not 75% of our product and no one on the team had the experience/motivation to replace her. The whole thing was a mess. I found myself working alone, much like most of my coworkers, due to frequent call-outs, and we all found ourselves, more often than not, doing the work of 2 or more people each. We got paid hourly. It occurred to me that there was little incentive to hire new people when you could easily squeeze just as much work out of the few people you had left and pay them the same rate. Genius. We didn’t hire up until right before the holidays, without enough time to train the newcomers. I was one of the trainers, as well as my coworker, who like me was scheduled to spend 80% of her time upstairs, unable to be downstairs unless it was “slow”, which was a rarity at our store. So the newbies got trained mostly by slightly less newbies, who’d been mostly trained by whoever could train them.

December 1st, I started to lose my sanity. The schedule showed who was working, when, and where. For the week leading up to Christmas, and the couple days to follow, it showed that 3 of us were scheduled various days upstairs to close by ourselves. This was unheard of. Local events meant guaranteed business on top of the already busy holiday vacation crowd. Surely they didn’t think that this was acceptable? Surely someone else would be there to help... But it was clear, each time I called for help, that they had no intention of focusing their attention upstairs. Why would they, when they could make the same amount of money off of one person upstairs while having the maximum number of employees maintaining downstairs? Each time I called for backup, my backup would eventually, during a lull in the crowd, creep back downstairs, saying “we’re really behind”. Nine people on shift downstairs, both of our managers and both specialists, plus five other people, and yet you still can’t keep things running? I became a worse version of myself. I’d dropped hobbies that would’ve kept me active and happy: walking, drawing, writing... None of them seemed possible with my brain the way it was. I became more angry, bitter, hostile at times, resentful... My depression was around anytime I was too tired to fight it off, and anxiety would grip me in odd moments when there was seemingly nothing to be anxious about. Excessive alcohol and coffee didn’t help that.

The stress of the job was compounded time and time again by a variety of factors. I wish I was the type of person who didn’t care about how others feel, because knowing my coworkers were struggling stressed me out. Knowing customers weren’t being served to the best of my ability stressed me out. Knowing that my very few personal relationships were being neglected because by the time I was done with work I was too tired for them stressed me out.

I’m not good at stress. I think it’s had a very negative effect on my health over the years. I’ll post about that some other time, but for now... Let’s just say I did what I felt was best for me. My last day of work was the 28th. I got out of work at 6:30, worked my full shift, then felt really guilty because two of my coworkers had called out and I wasn’t willing to stay and help those who remained. After work, I drank. I hesitate to call myself an alcoholic, but truly I drank almost every day for the last six months of my employment. Even on my days off (which were almost NEVER consecutive) I would feel stressed about going back to work, and drink an entire bottle of wine to feel more at ease. I came home from work to a house full of roommates and guests, sat on the couch, poured myself a glass of wine, and fell asleep before I could take more than a sip. It couldn’t have been past 11 pm at that point. I awoke at 4 am, on the couch, with a blanket draped over me, and one of our former roommates on an adjacent couch (he’d been visiting for the week). I stumbled to my room, removed my clothes and makeup, and slept. I awoke at noon after at least 12 hours of sleep, refreshed, and ready to take on the day. It was the 29th, the day before my birthday, and I wanted a haircut and a new pair of heels. It’d been over a year since I’d had either. I made a call to two different salons (I hate phone calls) and got an appointment for 3:30. After my hair, I called my great-aunt (really, I hate phone calls) to thank her for her Christmas gift (a crisp $100 bill, because she’s classy like that), and told her that I’d used it to get a lovely haircut. She was pleased, and thanked me for my gift (the softest, warmest, biggest pale pink knit scarf ever created). We talked for about 15 minutes as I walked toward the mall. It was a big deal because I normally take a very long time to psych myself up to make a call, but I’d made 3 today with almost no hesitation.

I partied on my birthday, bowling and arcade games all night. I partied on New Year’s Eve, a Star Wars themed event in my own house, put on by my roommates and I. New Year’s Day came and I was more hungover than I’d been in ages. Beer, wine, liquor, and not enough water the night before meant I was feeling pretty gross. But by 3:30 PM I’d had a lot of water and finally got around to going for a walk. I’d forgotten how picturesque it is around my house, the river is finally flowing swiftly again and winter’s cold touch has brought an eerie beauty to the landscape. I walked along the trail for a while, enjoying the scenery, meditating, examining myself, and then a cyclist passed me by. But he wasn’t on the path, he was up on the thick wall that separates the path from the river. I thought that looked neat, so I walked along it for a while, concentrating on my balance, eyes firmly planted several few paces ahead. Then I realized, sure it looks nice from the outside observer, to be walking up here, balancing and making some effort while trying to make it look easy... but I had been so absorbed in what I was doing that I almost didn’t see that there were now several beautiful egrets in the river. I had stopped looking at and enjoying the beauty around me because I was worried about the difficult path I’d chosen to walk on. I hopped down from the wall. I think this year is going to be different.

#newyear #fitness #self care #long read #stress #mental health #wellness

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