#then I could love more freely | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

princess-adronitis · 1 month

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What did I do wrong? Was my only crime being devoted to you ?

We had innocence once,

There were movies and aches in our sides from laughing so hard

There were snowflakes in our lashes

And errands at the store

There was hiding around the bend , to scare the other

There was mimicking of the other’s voice

Races to the car

And jumping on the bed

I wouldn’t have grown up , if it felt like you wouldn’t love me anymore

I would’ve invented something , anything to stop it

Or created something to cushion the scooped out feeling, the empty feeling

- jm

April 3, 2023

#my poetry #growing up sucks #I’m no good at playing anything cool #I only know that childlike love #something about growing up tainted it #sometimes I wish he was a girl #then I could love more freely #but now I have to be cautious so ppl don’t think we are sus #ramblings #and I blame every girl that was a problematic girl bestie #the common story of besties secretly wanting each other #is why I now can’t have nice things loll #spilled ink #clearing out the drafts #poem

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jinstronaut · 5 months

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happy new year, army!

another year with armyblr and another year of things i am thankful for uwu while i'm busier than usual and cannot make the things i used to make all the time, i'm still so grateful for having this creative outlet and having a place to share the love i have for these seven boys with people who love them just as much. you're all so special to me!!!! i want to recognize some of the people who've been extra kind to me and have made my journey on this blog as miraculous has it has been -- however, i cannot state enough that anyone who's ever interacted with my blog is so, so special and important to me. the work i do isn't just for myself, it's for everyone. i'm so glad to share my creations with anyone who wants to receive them!!! ♥

some of my mutuals who have been nothing but kind and supportive of the things that i manage to do while working my crazy work weeks -- i can and would move mountains for you all. you are so, so special to me and i love you so endlessly.

(part 2 coming in a reblog bc of tumblr's silly limits!!!)

#bts #btsedit #btsgif #usersan #heyryen #annietrack #usermaggie #i'm sure theres more tags i just cant think of them but i just !!!!!#wanted to do something for everyone bc everyone has been so so kind to me this year #ive been so busy and life has taken so many turns in the past 3 months alone #ive had the busiest december i could possibly imagine #but im always so happy to know i can come here and be myself and enjoy things authentically and freely #and that is because of all the kind people i've met #i know i don't talk too much bc i'm just busy and also shy but !!!!!#dont think for a second i dont read every single tag and message and notification #bc i do. and i cherish them all so so dearly #i love you all thank you for another year as army -- it's been the most rewarding experience of my life #***#saved //

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lunarharp · 9 months

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qifrey & the gals

#witch hat tag #more recent things. i already miss the motivation and peace of mind inherent to being offline i was drawing so freely and happily Hahhhhhhh #i miss you i love you i need you (talking to the state of being Officially Offline) coco thinking she's the 5th household member...#and not the 6th makes me think of my irl dad. kid me thought they were his firstborn child and turns out i'm his. 6th.#sorry for the very wild cai lore. qifrey 🤝 my father: Mayhaps i could reveal just how many children there are or maybe not teehee

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shu-of-the-wind · 9 months

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my new job requires me to speak to people from all over the united states who usually have very strong accents. my adhd ass and its intense Accent Mimicry means that every time i'm on the phone i have abruptly transformed into a Southern Grandmaw and it's so bad y'all i've been from tennessee and oklahoma and kentucky and texas and when does it END

#I CAN'T STOP IT THAT'S THET HING #I JUST START MIMICKING #AND PEOPLE ARE SO MUCH MORE RELAXED WHEN IT HAPPENS THEY SPEAK MUCH MORE FREELY SO THERE'S NO POINT IN TRYING TO CONTROL IT #BUT MY GOD I COULD NOT SOUND ANY MROE REDNECK #it's great tbh i love sounding as redneck as i actually am #shut up alix no one cares

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hollowaluminumvessel · 4 months

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guys I know how it goes. I understand why it happens but every time I see it it's like rubbing salt on a wound.

#the hobbit #fili and kili #thorin oakenshield #also guys I was watching theatrical.#by god these bitches gay #and it hurts more this time because of tauriel #and the promise stone.... nay....#and the way fili fell in front of kili. stop #“do you think she could have loved me?” STOP #“the eagles are coming thorin.” STOPPPPP #and the way the company(I refrain from saying all the company for a reason) kneels before thorins body. guys please I can't take it #and maybe it was from respect or grief or custom but man. either way it hurt. also bofur and bomber you guys aaaaaa bofur was keeping bombe #steady YOU GUYSSSSSSSSS #houghhhhhh it's tough loving a thing that weeps freely #fili durin #kili durin

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illogicalghost · 4 months

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.

#big gender rant ahead i just need to write down my thoughts #personal #so i think im a he/him trans lesbian??#i think ive been denying my feminine side for a long time now but middle school me was right. well. half right #idk why id built up some weird barrier in my mind about being trans and being a lesbian #but now im like more sure than ever #i still dont know if i could call myself a woman. and i thought i was so adamant about not using she/her again but it honestly?#doesn't bother me that much anymore. its not my preference but its not as soul crushing as it used to be #i have these weird subliminal gender rules for myself that ive been beating myself down with even though i #understand that theyre fake and dont hold anyone else to them. so why have a double standard? cant i have a fun gender?#ever since high school its been an uphill battle just letting myself live freely and having self confidence #i just turned 24. i dont have to be beholden to stupid hormonal teenage self loathing anymore #the world is a beautiful place and gender is just made up anyway. so why cant i be trans and butch? who cares??#i think i worded it well in my last personal post. ive been living a gender of convenience #but fuck that! i want the gender that makes sense to me! that makes me happy! its my life and i should live it how i want to!#...i still have some regrets about my top surgery. i wish i wasnt so weirdly flat chested now.#but hopefully the fat will redistribute eventually and itll look more natural as the years go on..#but i definitely dont regret going on T. i love my deep voice and my body hair #anyway if you've read this far thanks for listening to my mad ramblings #and dont forget you can have a fun gender too!

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larabar · 2 years

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Please give more info for your Frontiers au, it makes me very happy

HI YES ALWAYS

this is late because i wanted to have a little more to show you than i had before but Anyway

ok .ok so

each character in the game had their own Main Issue/Thing. amy's was .idk love and wanting to share it with others. knux's was his ancestors and his own past, learning to get off angel island once in a while. and tails' was all about his independence

but for sonic it was really hard to find something sjdnfj since he doesn't really have anything to go off of (flat character and all that) but. i got thinking about how cyberspace affected each character and just how it Works

from what i understand, being stuck between cyberspace and reality has no feeling to it, no sense of being 'grounded', and all that other fun stuff .

and that sounds like a living hell for sonic

he can't do anything. he can run but it doesn't give him the same feeling because there is no feeling. the most he can do is just sit back and wait till everything's fixed.

y'know what just take this

not finished but it gets my point across and also im so normal about these two

#also .little things #when any character thats trapped in cyberspace gets angry or something i think they should get more glitchy. like theyre flaring up #this is just an excuse to let sonic hang out with the koco more #they love him a lot its like second nature for sonic to get along with little guys #pretty sure theres a cutscene with tails where he just. runs through a portal HE MADE into cyberspace #so can they move freely between the two realities ??#really really hoping the dlc gives us more info on all this half ghost stuff i must know #OH AND im still trying to figure out if the cyber ghost characters could hypothetically leave their respective islands #like are they literally stuck there or is it just the fact that theyre islands and theres no clear way across them #can they meet each other in cyberspace ? or is it different for everyone no matter what so theyre always in different places #can the cyber ghost characters touch each other or is it the same as anything else #um anyways .thats all for today =] <cant sleep because of all these thoughts and more #its .1am.goodnight #<ME LAST NIGHT #it is afternoon now .sorry this took so long i just wanna talk about this so bad but i have no idea how to do that #but uh yeah thanks for asking about it !! genuinely made me so so happy #i wanna finish that cutscene concept sometime soon they are rotting my brain as we speak #sth #doodles #asks #sonic frontiers #sonic frontiers spoilers #frontiers role swap

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reanimatedgh0ul · 1 month

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honestly the idea of newton and lance both ending up w gfs is funny to me only bc ik the two of them would have COMPLETELY DIFFERENT reactions the moment they realize they're in love w the girl they're now dating

basically newton's reaction vs lance's reaction

#sym bionic titan #like newton's just over here like wow love is amazing i didn't even know i could feel this way abt another person this is great ^_^#meanwhile lance over here is suffering™ bc he's basically a byronic hero trapped inside the body of a 17 yr old boy #what i'm saying is the reason newton is able to love more freely and openly than lance (atleast for rn)#is bc he doesn't have a FRACTION of the emotional baggage that lance has due to his upbringing #that boy spent years building up walls guarding his heart to keep ppl out so that he could never be hurt again #he's only now started to let ppl in like ilana and newton/octus bc they're family now but even that can still be hard for him #like sm of lance's character just goes back to this idea of the mortifying ordeal of being known (god he's so mitski's stay soft coded)#how the fear of letting ppl get close to you to love you #means that the nearness has the potential leave you wounded #or that bc you have baggage it means you're broken that prevents you being able to love others #basically what i'm saying is lance is super repressed he def has self loathing #and i CAN'T imagine him getting w kristin in the same way #newton did w kimmy in the sense that they got into a relationship relevantly fast #if anything he's gonna have a slowburn w that girl #even when lance FINALLY does get together w her #i still don't see him being like how newton is w kimmy that he's good expressing his love verbally like saying ily or petnames etc #bc we've seen in canon how lance isn't the best when it comes to that #re: consoling ilana in ep 2 or telling octus how important he is to him in ep 18 but we know he cares #i think kristin knows that and like ilana/newton accepts that abt him #lance to me is better at expressing his love and care for others thru his actions rather than his words #robi hcs #robi rambles

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luckquartzed · 2 months

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What type of Love are you according to the Ancient Greeks?

Agape [ love for everyone ]

This simply means ' love ' in Ancient Greek . However , according to Christian theology , this is the highest shape of love to possess . Agape is the most selfless form of the eight , offering sympathy & unconditional support to those around you . If I had to guess , you are a virtuous person who puts others before yourself .

tagged by : @gemkun

tagging : @prodigls @barxlupin @raytm @starspurn @vulpesly @spadilled @theladymuses

#{ DASH GAMES } NEVER TURN DOWN A CHALLENGE #I actually disagreed with this in the beginning & even when I changed my answers to the second most Aven-like I still got this result #but the more I think about it the more it fits #Sunday himself says that Aventurine is a generous person & even though he has his own motives behind the scenes it seems like it?#he gives his room to the TB he tries to throw money at anyone & everyone wants in an attempt to be their friend #he could be flirting when he calls Ratio or Sunday attractive but he could also just be the sort to give compliments freely #& based on how kind he was to Kakavasha before realizing who he was ? he also likes / is kind to children #I don’t really believe the idea that you HAVE to love yourself in order to be able to love other people #‘oh but he nearly dropped a coin massacre on Penacony’ he knew Acheron would stop him #I don’t think he ever intended to HURT anybody except himself #I also think about how he called his abuser ‘insane’ for wanting to pit him against the other slaves #& how he seems to view himself as a monster / still feel guilty for what he had to do to survive based on his thoughts while hallucinating #he only wanted to die if it meant he could be reunited with his family #he risked his own life as a child to get back a necklace that was important to his sister #fuck. he really is agape isn’t he? lmaoooo #well now I’m sad #the narcissistic egomaniac gambler is all just a mask

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spacebar2 · 2 months

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I drew the first cat boy I saw in genshin impact

My boy d r a f f.

#genshin impact #genshin fanart #Genshin draft #My favorite npc I don't even know who he is #Space's silly art #I found that I like genshin #I just wish I could run around more freely and not do the story #I just love killing in that game #It's like breath of the wild but more anime ig #Art

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wlwitchofwhitestone · 11 months

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Happily sitting in the little aspec sandbox I made for L at the start and her entire deal with Im*gen and I'm very happy for them and I am also broadening the tags I have blocked because allos are about to be very annoying. And that is their right, but no thank you.

#Few things more annoying than allo viewpoints forced on a/rospec characters #They weren't 'always in love' they were friends and that's not homophobic to say #It's good to have a relationship founded on friendship or did we forget #Laudna could take or leave sex and romance #It's Imogen she wants #However Imogen wants her #And until now she's assumed Imogen wants her as a friend and that's been more than enough for Laudna #She's not been pining or whatever #Though the jealousy is funny and relatable #You can be worried someone will find something more important than you and it not strictly be passion #Anyway good for them - it's really cute and I hope they talk freely more #cr spoilers #I didn't use asterisks etc in annoyance I just don't want to be accused (more) of inviting discourse #Because any mention of aspec identity is taken as a rock thrown #Shrug #Start shit and I will just block #I'm happy over here as an aspec lesbian

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quenthel · 8 months

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how do you even gauge how much other people like you... like ik many ppl dont express these things bc its embarrassing but i always assume everyone is squarely in the "whatever" zone w me and then i do something and i get a very heartfelt and just high emotional reaction and its a shock every time... i default so easily to if i disappeared overnight nobody would think about me which is probably not true... also i want to be part of ppl's lives but it really feels like im not... if i had more self esteem and sense of self worth i would probably not care and would be able to inspire and help ppl more tho :/

#quenthel special #wish i wasnt starving for love... i could give it more freely...#therapy is so fucking difficult also i want to bash my head against the wall

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superstartaylorsversion · 1 year

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was taylor intentionally thinking about katniss and peeta when she wrote the great war or was that just completely incidental in the way that it is literally them 100000%

#I'm just saying.#also i think the pov of the song could switch but imo its katniss #like... peeta telling katniss that she has to trust more freely... katniss wanting to punish peeta for things he never did (she thinks he #was trying to make her look weak/mock her by saying that he loved her when really he loved her all along)#also 'I vowed not to fight anymore if we survived the great war' makes me think of katniss talking about how she didnt want gale's roaring #anger and that she needed peeta - the dandelion in spring who was gentle and loving #anyway im thoughts.#im officially a great war = everlark truther <3 #wren talks too much

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year

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...

#christ. so i was selected as the top candidate for the program i interviewed with on Friday #and im very annoyed and very pleased and also annoyed that im pleased #im pleased bc it means that they were impressed with what ive done to this point and they think i communicate well. which is cool #and the project is very very cool and id love to work on it #am annoyed bc this does put pressure on me to accept bc they can only put one student forward so if i dip out then thats it for them #which i find extremely stressful. and everything is just so much more complicated if i go to the uk for a phd #and i dont get the luxury of faffing about and taking a bunch of classes like i could in the us. ugh but it would b so cool to go back to #the uk and i wouldn't have to fucking drive. ugh. this project.#ugh its like my boss said #sometimes the project is more worth it than the school. id have crazy cool opportunities to learn things on this project #but at the cost of taking a lot of classes in the us. but every project is what u make of it #but im so fucking dyslexic thst its hard to learn outside a classroom bc i cant concentrate and i dont have a person talking me thru the #info. so idk idk. hopefully when i visit the other school ill kno how i feel #god but i loved living in the uk. and i could travel so much more freely there bc the trains and all that. im so fucking restricted bc im #so terrified of driving. i dont have good reaction speed and i space out too much and i get intrusive thoughts #sigh... but id be a whole 24hrs of travel away from my family instead of the 10hrs thst i am now #so id probably only get to see them once a year maybe? in contrast to 2 or 3 times #and im just worried something terrible will happen and then ill be like fuck i wasted all my time making myself miserable so far away #idk. im so tired. we had like a mile abd a half hike out to a site one way and we left at 7.30 got back at like 4 #it was a long fucking day. and im tried. and i have no filter. and when i talk too much it really annoys me #also! i got confirmation that i fucking suck at recording data. wow im so shocked. its basically designed for me to be terrible at #but its still slightly embarrassing. like srry i fucked up ur data. i cant write words correctly #literally i kept writing my Ls upside down today. why? idk that not how i see them. my brain just cant make Language right lol #whatever. my parents r calling tomorrow and i can info dump at them abt my dyslexia knowledge and my academic knowledge of biblical history #bc instead of listening to anything useful to my job. i choose to listen to lectures on neurology and theology. bc fucking idk #its interesting im relearning my bible lore from a non religious perspective. theology is fucking fascinating. ugh anyway #i shoulf sleep im so fucking tried #unrelated

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your-fave-is-bi · 10 months

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Being in Antwerp is very nice bc it very much feels like My City even though i only know very small parts of it if you consider it as a whole but yeah. I was out and about today and it just felt Natural like. Am i still uncomfortable around large groups of people? Yea. Is it for covid reasons and for undiagnosed autism reasons? Yea

But I know the Antwerp streets where i go. I know where to stand and walk. I know some shortcuts. I know my way around. I know the timing of the pedestrian crosswalk lights. And I’ve missed it so much during the last couple years

And a lot has changed in those years. But it is still My Antwerp. My City.

#personal tag #idk its like. hard to explain.#i was exhausted earlier from people being too close to me (and me not being able to move freely bc walking with friends)#the noises were tiring #but if im alone with my headphones on or earbuds in #its bliss. its my city it’s where I fit #i dont know if my noise sensitive ass could ever ever live there.#but i love being there #i love just. being there.#i should try and make a habit to go more. to just be.#it is a lot of effort bc of transportation n such but i really think it could pay off.

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cherrypeaking · 11 months

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good morning~ how’s my cherry fairy doing? 🥺 i hope you slept well~

i wanted to make my tteokbeokki today but, and i’m gonna sound sooo lazy for this, it had too many components and it was too hot to move around so much so i gave up on it 😭😭 i mean just look at this

okay now that i look at it, it isn’t so bad but at the time i knew i was not about to do all that 😭😭😭 my mom brought home strawberries from the grocery store so i’m pretty psyched about that~ i freakin love strawberries and yogurt with honey sooo much 😩😩😩 i’m about to have that everyday this week >w<

i was looking back at pics of the txt shrine i set up while i was ticketing earlier this year and i keep daydreaming about us seeing txt together part of me is hoping my constant daydreaming is also working as manifestation bc i really want it to happen 🥺🥺 there’s nothing else i want more than to see my favorite group with my favorite person 🥺🩵🩵🩵 it would literally be so perfect 😭😭😭even the thought of getting dressed and putting on makeup together is giving me butterflies >///< 🩵🩵 i need bighit and hybe and all the necessary powers to come together and make this happen 😭😭😭 do you think if we beg taehyun enough he’ll do a concert just for us? 🤭

(if making teddy bear related moodboards for my girl is a crime lock me up!!!)

yet another uneventful evening but soon it’s back into the fire with my personal trainer so i’ll let you know how that goes when it happens :3 and then we start our posture stretches so we no longer have to sit at our desks looking like shrimp!!

i miss you always, my dear <33 can’t wait to talk soon~ i love you mwah mwah >3< 🩵🩵

mommyyyy you fell asleep i assume ;3; i already miss you so bad… 🩷 i slept okay ;; it was so hot >< (the only hot thing i like is your warmth~) 🥺🩷

ooooh so in the end you didn’t make it? that does look pretty complex to me because i’ve never had tteokbeokki before >3< (i knowwww that’s crazy thsjdjdjd) + it’s so hot i don’t want mommy to be uncomfy in the heat 🥺strawberries with honey and yoghurt sounds so ideal 🥹🩷 like a perfect dessert 🥹🩷

aaaah it would be like a dream come true 🥹 getting to see my favorite artists with my favorite person i need that so much 🥹🥹🩷 please the whole getting ready together sounds so cute >\\\< we would cuddle and kiss lots before putting makeup on each other >\\\< i wanna do your makeup as well as i can 🥹🩷 as for the dresses i know any dress will suit you just perfectly because you’re perfect to me 😚🩷 omg should we try to beg for taehyun to come (not like that~)? 😭 we need the boys here!! please a private concert for us the tyuntwinz 🥹🥹🩷

i’m excited for when you get to see your trainer and we do our stretches (i almost forgot thank you for reminding me i need to stop standing like grandma 😖) if we do it together i’ll be more motivated mommy 🥹🥹🩷 i wish we could actually do those exercises together in the same room but for now i’ll be content with just us talking about it after 🥹🩷 hopefully you like stretching with me mommy 🥺😚🩷

i’m missing you as i’m posting this mommy 🥹🥹🩷 i love you so much my love 😚🩷

#crystal gem 💎#the more people i tell about you being my girlfriend the happier i get 🥹#i feel like i can finally talk freely about what’s been on my mind for months hehe 🥹🩷#my girlfriend is the prettiest and best ever 🥹🥹😚🩷#i can’t wait to stretch together it would be so cool!! could help my anxiety hopefully 🥹🥹🩷#my mommy is the best i love you so much 🥹🥹#i wanna talk to you all the time 🥺🥺😚🩷#my sweet sweet crystal clarity 😚😚🩷🩷#my girlfriend 🥹🥺😚🩷🩷

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