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katiesyellowcardcollection · 2 days

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i’ll drive, i’ll drive all night - pt4

pt1,pt2,pt3

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teen reader x katie mccabe

trigger warnings: suicidal idealisation, self harm references, sexual assault reference, bad mental health, do not read of your not in the correct head space!!

an: i feel like this is all kind of jumbled up and probably not written very well but i wrote it all in pretty much one sitting so sorry about that 😭 please please give any feedback/tips though as im still pretty new to writing

things were better now is what you told yourself as you stepped out of the airport taking in the streets of Dublin for the first time in 6 months, for 6 months you’d be in London with your older sister, for 6 months you’d been in weekly therapy, for 6 months you’d gotten closer and closer to becoming the girl you used to be, the carefree little girl you were before that night and you think now as you get into the taxi with Katie it was all working, the progress you’d made meant something because for the first time you felt genuinely excited, happy to be back, to see your family, you never thought you’d be excited to be back in Dublin, back where everything started but you were so happy to be back in the comforts of Dublin, back in your home that your excitement outweighed your fears for once.

You remember the days after your confessions to Katie, they were difficult, they were some of the darkest days of your life, being forced to talk about what happened every day, not being trusted to even go to the bathroom alone, but you’d got through them thanks to Katie and Caitlin and all their teammates you’d done it, you're sure you cried more tears in those weeks then you had in your entire life, but you had done it, you accepted help and you were getting better, you were learning how to cope with what happened in a healthy manner, of course you were still traumatised from it, you still had nightmares about that night but you were coping with everything a lot more healthier, you had stopped hurting yourself and in a couple days you’d be 3 months clean from it.

“You excited to see ma?”

Katie asked reaching out the rub your shoulder knowing that you would need some form of comfort despite all your progress being back in Ireland was still a big thing for you.

“yeah, I'm more excited than nervous I've missed mam and da so much and I can’t wait to see Ella and Lauryn”

you tell her honestly, smiling as you do so.

You couldn’t quite believe you weren’t more scared, of course some parts of you were nervous about being back but you’d gone over and over with your therapist about some of the feelings you may have and you knew how to cope if you did get nervous or if you had a panic attack.

“I'm so proud of you y/n, I know every back in London is as-well, you’ve done so well sweetheart, I love you so much”

Katie tells you fondly, her hand still rubbing your shoulder, before you can even respond the car pulls up to your home, for the first time since you landed you do get a bit nervous, being back here is a little bit scary, your slightly nervous of seeing your family, despite Katie reassuring you that no one is mad at you, that they were proud of you it still scared you seeing as the way in which you left previously everyone had been mad at you.

“Remember no one will be mad at you and it’s only going to be mam, da, Lauryn and Ella, that will be alright won’t it hey?”

Katie tells you holding your hand as you both walk up to the front door.

The door opens almost immediately and your met with your mams familiar scent and then your being wrapped up in her arms your ma squeezing you tightly, like she did when you were a little girl going away for the first time.

“I missed you so much baby girl”

she tells you as she pulls out of the hug, tucking your loose strands of hair behind your ear, pulling you into the house properly and closing the front door, Katie already in the living room.

“I missed you to”.

you tell her smiling as you do so.

You’d had such a good day, you laughed more than you think you’ve ever laughed in your entire lifetime, your smile had quite literally not left your face since you stepped foot in your family home.

You’d been playing board games with your family, arguing like little kids again, like the reason you hadn’t been home in so long hadn’t happened, like for one day everything in the past hadn’t happened and you loved it, you loved being carefree again, you loved laughing, not a fake laugh or a small laugh but a full blown belly laugh whenever Ella got caught cheating on whatever board game was being played or when Katie didn’t know the most basic facts in trivial pursuit, you were home and it felt so right, almost perfect in your opinion.

of course you weren’t staying in Ireland, you were only here for the day. you, Katie and your therapist deciding that you needed to take small steps into getting better and whilst that started with getting over the fear of being home, back where everything started, being back for a long period of time in a short period of time would most likely set your recovery back.

“Right, we’ve gotta head off y/n our flights in 2 hours.”

Katie tells you gently as your nose scrunches up in protest, and your shoulders tense up, you don’t want to leave yet, you missed your family more than anything, missed your twin sister, missed your dogs and your bedroom and the comfort of just being back home.

“Okay.”

you tell her after a moment of silence getting up off the sofa.

“I'm just gonna go to the toilet”

you let her know before walking out of the room and finding your way to the bathroom.

“I love you sweetheart; I'll see you soon I promise”

your mam tells you releasing you from the hug she’d had you in since you got back from the bathroom.

goodbyes were always difficult for you, even as a little girl saying goodbye to your grandparents, you’d cry even though you’d be seeing them again the next day, for you a goodbye meant you were leaving them even if it was only for a short while, you hated them.

you and Katie had been on the plane for just 20 minutes when your eyes started filling with tears, you told yourself you weren’t going to cry and that you’d had a really good day, you didn’t need to be upset but your tears just kept falling and breathing becoming much harder than it was 10 minutes ago. You knew pretty instantly that you were going to have a flashback, you’d gotten very good at recognising the signs and how to help yourself before they happened.

“K-Katie” you managed to stutter out before it hit you, taking you back to that night, back to the locked bathroom, making you feel and think everything you felt that night.

Your therapist had told you that flashbacks were a normal response to the type of trauma you experienced, they wouldn’t ever go away fully but there were things that you could do to help yourself when you got them and so she taught you and the people around you things that can help like talking, encouraging you to breathe and to remind you that you weren’t back there, telling you exactly where you were and what was going on you found helped you the most.

“y/n sweetheart, it’s okay it’s Katie we’re on the Plane and we’re going to land back in London soon you're not their sweetheart.”

Katie whispers to you, trying to get your attention.

“Darling your safe I promise it’s just me c'mon open your eyes for me please”

After a while of Katie whispering soft words into your ears, reminding you that you were safe and you weren’t back there, you came out of it slowly.

You didn’t speak, you just reached out to your older sister clinging on to her for comfort for the remainder of the short flight home, your sister just stroking your forehead still whispering words to you.

“So, how was it?”

Caitlin asks you as she takes a swig of her drink sitting down on the matts in the gym as she does so, looking up at your face searching for some kind of reaction, an indication of how you were really feeling.

she always seemed to know when you were lying or when there was something on your mind and she could always get you to open up on whatever you were feeling.

and so, you’d found yourself in this position quite often now, you talking, Caitlin listening whilst Katie would be out on the grass training seeing as you still weren’t trusted to be alone, and Caitlin was sidelined with an injury.

“I loved it I did have a lot of fun and like I missed them so much but when we came home iff had another nightmare which you already know but since being back it’s all that’s going on in my mind like just replaying the whole night again like it was when I first got here, I don’t know if I'll be able to ever live there again but it’s my home I want to be able to go home and it not bring up the memories but I don’t of that will ever happen again”

you tell her turning your head away and settling on looking outside the gym windows not wanting her to see you crying.

it was pathetic really, you were so happy to be home, you loved every second of being back, yet you came back to London and you were petrified again, that night consuming you again, trapping you right back in that bathroom and it was like you were right back to where you started, back on the door steps of your sisters house sixth month again terrified of everything.

you didn’t really understand your brain, 24 hours ago you were in Ireland happy and smiling not even thinking about that night but now you were back in London, and it was all you could think off, despite all the progress made it felt like you were back to square one.

“Hey, look at me y/n.”

Caitlin tells you reaching out to pull you into a hug.

“you made such good progress yesterday, I know it’s hard coming home but you did so well, I promise you you’ll be able to go home one day and it won’t bring up the memories, the only memories you’ll think of is playing with your siblings or laughing until your belly hurts, you won’t always associate Ireland with that night, I promise you.”

you just shake your head in response because you know that she was right, she seemed to be right about almost everything, but you still couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d never be able to be home and it not bring up the bad memories, that no matter how happy you could be to see your family and be back in Dublin it would always bring up bad memories.

“i know right now it seems impossible, like things will never go back to how they were but that is not the case, you went back yesterday and for the entire day you didn't think about it did you? Thats progress, everyone else but you can see that, you'll get there y/n”

Before your able to even think of an answer all the girls start filling into the gyn having just finished with training, signalling the end to yours and Caitlin's conversation in which you were thankful for, still unable to produce a response to Caitlin's statement.

Your trip to Dublin was just over 2 weeks ago now and despite all your convincing that you were fine, that the short stay hadn't had as big of an impact on you then you initially thought it would, you were far from fine, in fact you were pretty sure in these short two weeks you'd ruined all your progress, everything you, Katie, Caitlin and your therapist had worked towards in those 6 months were seemingly gone.

you weren't clean anymore.

you couldn't go a night without nightmares.

a day without flashbacks.

Katie no longer felt comfortable leaving you with just Caitlin, she was literally with you at every second of the day and yet you were still finding ways to hurt yourself, ways to Savatage your own progress, dragging yourself further and further down.

You're not sure why everything was affecting you so much because for the past 6 months you had genuinely wanted to get better, wanted to feel happy again and yet less then 24 hours in Dublin and reversed all progress, you longer wanted to get better, you didn't want all the help and fuss of Katie and Caitlin, you just wanted to be alone.

Its katies voice that pulls you out of your thoughts

“Your therapist wants to speak to you y/n i know you said you don't want to go but what if you just talk on the phone for 5 minutes?”

Your sister asks you.

You can hear the worry in her voice and you see it written all over her face, she looks like she's been crying again, she does that a lot now and you feel bad you didn't mean to upset your older sister, to ruin her life aswell as your own.

And so, for this reason and this reason only you hesitantly agree, reaching out for the phone before opening your mouth.

“Will you leave me alone whilst i speak to her?”

You think your sister goes to say no, but midway through opening her own mouth she nods.

“I'll wait on the stairs, but you promise me that you'll be safe and you won't do anything dangerous”

“Promise I wont thankyou”

“do you want to die”

You're not sure how to respond to that question, some days you do, you wake up and you wish you hadn't, some days you'll spend the entire day planning how you could kill yourself, how could you make everything go away, whereas other days you don't, you'll wake up happy, excited for the day, sometimes you can see the light the end of the tunnel that everyone talk about.

You're not entirely sure how to verbalise all this to your therapist and so you just settle on a simple answer that doesn't give much insight into how you're really feeling.

“I don't know, maybe.”

You hear your therapist sigh; it makes you feel bad to some extent because everyone's trying to understand what's going on in your brain but you're not giving them much.

“I think that sometimes I do want to die, I don't want to live in a world where every day i have to remember that night and be terrified of it happening again but like other days I want to live and get better, I don't know.”

With that you continue talking to your therapist, coming up with a plan on how others can help you in the upcoming weeks but also how you'll help yourself.

“hey”

Katie says as you leave the room your therapist still on the phone.

“Um anna wants to talk to you, can I go sit with Cait downstairs?”

you question looking up to her waiting for an answer, she pauses for a second before agreeing.

“Yeah, I think she's watching a film or something”

You nod and start walking downstairs, briefly hearing the start of hers and your therapist's conversation.

#arsenal women #katie mccabe #awfc #vivianne miedema #beth mead #leah williamson #katie mccabe x teen reader #awfc x teen reader #woso #reader x awfc #woso fanfics

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totaly-obsessed · 3 days

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Woso Appreciation - Hands Edition

Request a player | with @alotofpockets

#lena oberdorf #jenni hermoso #kerstin casparij #jill roord #leah williamson #alexias putellas #lucy bronze #vivianne miedema #felicitas rauch #gerwnt #espwnt #nedwnt #engwnt #woso community #woso appreciation #wofo

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tumbleweedmemethemes · 6 months

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Time for a return…

#helluva boss #blitzo #blitzø #helluva boss blitz #helluva blitz #stolas x blitz #stolas #stolitz #vivziepop #vivianne miedema #hazbin hotel #blitz x stolas #blitzo x stolas #striker #loona #helluva loona #moxxie

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ohbother2 · 4 months

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...you're saying you... fight other people?

I was inspired by @moon7shine

#he just wants to be dominated like Lucifer was...#vox truly is the joker from lego batman #and everyday he has to deal with the fact that #alastor is his greatest rival #and yet alastor only sees him as a mere annoyance #hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel vox #vox #radiostatic #staticradio #alastor x vox #vox x alastor #hazbin alastor #hazbin vox #vivzieverse #vivianne miedema #vivziepop

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midnight-ramblingswfc · 15 days

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AND WITH HER FIRST TOUCH VIV SLOTS IT HOME WITH ASSIST FROM BETH MEAD

#arsenal wfc #arsenal women #vivianne miedema #beth mead #normally I would gif but these need the crowds roar

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samkerrworshipper · 13 days

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how did it end? | arsenal x reader

warnings: suicidal themes, self harm, alcohol abuse, depression

um yeah lol feel grateful for this because i’m going to go ghost mode for the rest of the week! to the anons who have a problem with my writing, don’t fucking read this if it’s such a problem, in fact don’t read any of my stuff at all, my page is a better place without you.

Everything about the day had felt wrong.

Everything about your last month had felt wrong, really the whole year if you thought about it.

It had all started after a blindside move from your home club. Leaving Rsenal had been the worst thing that had ever happened, but you’d known it was coming after they’d signed Russo. There was only so much room for strikers on the team, and your contract happened to be out as the summer started, leaving you as a free agent.

Somehow, you’d ended up at PSG, which you still didn’t understand. There had been offers everwhere, Lyon, Real Madrid, Man City, Chelsea, Bayern, Wolfsburg, yet your manager had fucked you and gone for PSG.

It had been a clusterfuck from the day you’d arrived, the language barrier, your horrible mental state, the different playing structure, the weather, your lonely apartment, the lack of friendships, the lack of support.

It had taken a month before you’d crashed and burned, withdrawing yourself from both club and national team. You’d been lower then low, sadder then sad, completely withdrawn from your own life. You wish you’d stayed, you wish that none of it had of happened, because maybe life wouldn’t have turned out the way it had, maybe you’d be happier.

Your Arsenal teammates had visited as often as the schedule permitted, helped you move your whole life from one country to the other, but at the end of the day you were still hundreds of miles away from them.

You’d stopped answering their calls after a few weeks, too consumed with the completely inebriating struggle that you were going through in Paris, trying to stay true to yourself whilst being so far in the deep end of the pool that you were struggling to keep your head above the water.

After the call to Sarina and the call to your manager it had made more sense for you to return to London, even if it had pained you to do so.

Not a month after you’d packed your whole life away against your will, you were packing it all back up.

You didn’t like what happened in Paris, you weren’t proud of it, all you wanted was to get back to your house in St. Albans, but you were also terrified of what your ‘home’ looked like now. It wasn’t the same place it had been for the last 8 years, you didn’t have your bestfriends as teammates more, you didn’t have any teammates, you were unofficially, self-decidedly, retired. Sarina had begged for you to return, tried to reckon with you, but you were done, your love for the game had died in Paris and you had no desire to re-open the wounds that had been torn into your skin in France.

You didn’t tell anyone, you just hoped that you’d be able to avoid everyone for as long as possible, that you’d just be able to slowly become nonexistent and become forgotten by everyone from the past 20 years of your life, but you were aware that life didn’t work that way.

You were sick of all the pain you were going through, all the suffering that you were being forced to endure for no good reason. You didn’t want to talk to anyone about it, you didn’t feel like you had anybody to talk to about it, it was just you nowadays.

That was how you spent most of your nights, alone.

Alone with a bottle of your posion of choice sitting on your bathroom floor.

It was the only thing that made it all better nowadays, the feeling of alcohol slipping down your throat, typically with a razor blade in your other hand.

There was something satisfying about it all, something perfect about being perfectly intoxicated with a sliver of metal between your finger tips.

On this particular day, you knew you’d drunk to much, but it had all been wrong. You’d woken up with a headache, in your shower, the tiles of your floor stained with your own blood. It wasn’t a uncommon place for you to wake up anymore, but everything about it felt wrong. Your head was aching in a way it never had, your whole body was hurting and for some reason it all just felt off.

You went about your normal routine, pushing the temperature of your shower to as hot as it would go, finding peace in the blistering water falling down across your skin. Once your skin was bright red you’d climb out, falling into your bed to help to sleep off the rift that the hangover had left inside of you. Around midday you would climb out of your bed, slipping out from the covers to enjoy your few hours of life that your days now gave you. Sometimes it would be spent in your kitchen, trying your hardest to piece together some kind of sustenance, other days making and eating food was too hard. On this particular day, you forgoed your kitchen, instead opting to walk straight past it and out onto your patio, as per the usual london weather, it was pouring down, but you didn’t mind too much.

The rain was nice, it reminded you that not everything in life was pretty, your life certainly wasn’t pretty anymore. Rain was a reminder that everyday could be turned upside down just based off of something that was completely out of anybodys control.

After deciding it was a bit too wet to enjoy the outdoors you tracked your way back indoors, your bare feet creasing and digging into the hard, cold wood floors of your home. You eyed off your uncomfortable couch, the one that your manager had found on facebook marketplace which was the most uncomfortable piece of furniture you thought could be bought. It kind of felt like a metaphor for you, you’d been bought, and it had been the worst decision PSG had made, and you were destined, just like the couch, to be thrown away without anybody really knowing or caring.

You walked straight past the couch and back to your bed, there wasn’t any living for you to do today, it just felt that way, so you pulled the covers back over your body and enjoyed the moment of peace that your bed gave you.

It didn’t last long, your body relaxing into the mattress for a few seconds before the restlessness took over. It was like that nowadays, your body never able to stop. You figured it was probably a result of your body going from pushing its limits everyday, mentally and physically to you doing absolutely nothing. Previously, when you’d been in a depressive episode you would sleep all day, no matter what had been happening, but not anymore. Now, you had to drink yourself into oblivion before your body would force itself to relax, you could be as exhausted and tired as you wanted but your body just wouldn’t let you sleep.

Your brain convinced you that your mattress was the lumpiest mattress made, when you really knew you’d hand picked it for it’s comfort. You brain tricked you into feeling like all of your curtains were wide open on a summers day when really they were drawn closed. Your mind was playing tricks on you and you didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t.

That’s how you’d ended up on your bathroom floor so early, the overwhelming need for you to fix the pain becoming too much for you. With a bottle of vodka in one hand and your scared silver blade in the other you finally found yourself at peace.

The stomachache and burn of the vodka going down your throat didn’t truly matter, not when you were staring down at the thin criss cross of lines all over your thighs.

Some were healed, some were thick, some were thin, some were sore. They all told a different story. Thighs were the easiest, less arteries, good to hide, disguisable. They didn’t bleed the same way wrists did, they bled slow and painfully, a couple of lines never hurt you.

With the mix of last nights alcohol though and the new vodka mixed with the sight of blood you found yourself feeling woozy.

You hadn’t always been a cutter, self-harm hadn’t always been your vice. It had always been football. From the minute the ball was at your feet it had been football, and you wouldn’t of had it any other way. It had been your everything, football had been your life and until it had been taken from you, you hadn’t understood the true magnitude of what that meant. Your life had no purpose, no substance, nothing, without your game. Football had been the only thing you were good at, and you were extremely good at it. You’d given up on school in pursuit of your footballing career and it had been worth it, up until now.

Now your life was nothing but a big mess.

You wished it had worked out in Paris, you wished that you’d been able to farewell London and make a new home in France, but it hadn’t meant to be. All of your talent, all of your love, all of your passion, it was all for nothing now. Everything you’d ever done amounted to nothing, you were nothing without a pair of boots on your feet and a football in front of you.

You were never going to be the same again, it was all different now, and you were man enough to admit that you missed what you’d had. There were things that you lost in life, in the heartbreak and the struggles, you just hadn’t expected that you would lose the meaning of your life in the process. You had a hard time understanding why it had to happen to you, why you’d been the unlucky one. You paid your dues, you’d woken up at 5am every single morning to run drills, you’d worked your ass of and yet here you were, drunk on your bathroom floor wishing that you were gone.

Once upon a time you’d believed that a person would do anything for the thing that they loved most in the world, but you didn’t believe ion that anymore, love was supposed to be the most powerful thing on earth, and yet it had failed you.

It was funny because you could drink all of the alcohol you wanted but it never made you forget about what you’d lost. The hundreds of memories of football over the years, Arsenal, it had all been Arsenal. You’d been the kind of player where you’d always been one club, from academy all the way through to the senior team, you bled arsenal. Nobody even asked you what your dream team was, because it had always been Arsenal, you hadn’t had eyes for anywhere else. Yet you’d been thrown away like nothing.

You’d loved playing for Arsenal, when you put your jersey on at the beginning of every game you felt ten times stronger, qall of your bestest friends had been at Arsenal, your bridesmaids, your for life friends, and yet now it all felt like you were drifting away.

For the longest time you’d chosen the good options, the healthy options, what was right.

Now though, you chose destruction.

You sleep when your blackout drunk.

You drink caffeine late at night.

You stay awake until your eyes burn.

You always say yes to whatever vice your brain can think of.

You drink water instead of food and vodka instead of water,

You’re isolated beyond the point of it being okay, nowadays you spend more time with yourself then anybody else.

Maybe it was the vodka that made you feel particularly adventurous, or the scent of your own blood seeping across your skin, but whatever it was it somehow inclined you to reach for your phone which was rested on the tiles besides you.

You’d turned your notifications off long ago, as soon as the trade had come through.

You’d ignored everyone’s messages for the sake of preserving your own mental state, you couldn’t deal with the constant back and forth of trying to keep friendships which felt like had already gone.

You were more intoxicated than normal, or that was how you rationalized your behaviour, because there really wasn’t any other explanation to it, unless all of the emotions from the last few months had suddenly hit you a lot harder then normal.

But you were sick of being alone, you knew that, you’d been alone for far too long.

Maybe the alcohol had pushed that to the forefront to your mind, or you’d just become inherently desperate.

Your phone rang, the sound vibrating against the tile floor of the bathroom, amplifying it to your ears, the noise ringing out in your ear canal.

It didn’t take long for the ringing to cease, the sound of silence absorbing around you.

“y/n? Is that you?”

You blinked a few times, swallowing down the final remnants of your last swig of vodka.

“Hey.”

Your voice was shaky, from the days of not saying any words at all, you didn;t have any reason to speak if you were all by yourself.

“Hi.”

The silence stayed thick, obviously neither of you unsure about what to say.

“Are you okay, no ones heard anything from you in a few weeks.”

You’d vanished, for the good of yourself.

“I wish I’d stayed, le.”

Their was a deep breath exhaled from the other side of the line.

“I wish you’d stayed too, y/n.”

You couldn’t think of a single positive that had come from you leaving, not a single one.

“I wish I’d stayed now, I wish I’d been given the chance.”

You could fele the tears building up in the corners of your eyes.

“Me too, y/n.”

The tears were falling, the water falling from your cheeks falling onto the blood on your legs, the two liquids mixing together, the blood turning into red as they two mixed, blood did run thicker than water.

“I wish i’d stayed le, I wish none of this had happened.”

You didn’t want to know what the blonde on the other side of the phone was thinking about at this moment, you weren;t thinking about her, just yourself.

“Hold in there kid, for me, it’s all going to work itself out.”

There was no working it out, this was the end for you.

“I can’t do it anymore, I can’t pretend that i wish I hadn’t of stayed, that I don’t spend everyday regretting it, I want it all back.”

You pushed the blade down against your skin again.

Drawing the metal against your skin until the blood had begun to pool at the base of the two or three inch line.

“Where are you kid, are you in Paris? Do you need me to send someone to come and check on you? You shouldn’t be drinking like this by yourself, especially not in season.”

There wasn’t a season for you anymore, you were free, you could do whatever you pleased.

“I’m at home, and I’m fine.”

You pulled the blade up, and onto a new patch of skin, it was all littered with past scars, raised white lines.

“You don’t sound fine kid, I have plenty of friends in France, don’t make me get them to come and hunt you down.”

Her voice was an attempt at threatening, but it sounded more worried then anything.

“I’m not in Paris, I left after my contract was annulled.”

Annulled aka we’re letting you go without any pay but you still technically belong to us until the length of your contract is up.

“Annulled?”

You would have thought Sarina would have told the team, but apparently not.

“Haven’t you heard? I’m retired.”

Retired was not a word that you thought should fall from a twenty four year olds mouth, but here you were.

“Retired? Where are you, y/n?”

You supposed the alcohol might have been making your tongue a little bit looser.

“In my house, in my bathroom.”

Another deep exhale, you could just picture the woman pinching the bridge of her nose, maybe even frowning.

“Your house, where?”

You picked up the bottle of alcohol, taking a break from the razor blade to allow the vodka to ease back down your oesophagus.

“St Albans.”

The line went silent for a few seconds.

“You’re back home, since when?”

Another sip of your vodka.

“Couple of weeks, France wasn’t for me.”

France was the end of you.

“How much have you been drinking? You sound awful.”

You didn’t think you sounded that bad, but you also supposed a sober person would have a different perspective.

“Vodka, feels good le.”

Another deep exhale.

“I’m going to come over.”

Rustling on the other side of the phone.

“I’m fine, I’m good, you don’t need to come over.”

You were lying to both yourself and Leah.

“You aren’t fine, you aren’t good, and even if you want to tell yourself you are, I need to see you in real life because for the last months I’ve thought you were as good as dead. Are you safe, y/n?”

You didn’t know how to answer that question, you hadn’t felt safe with yourself in what felt like forever.

“I’m not unsafe.”

More rustling on the other side of the line.

“Do I need to bring somebody with me? Do I need to call an ambulance?”

You thought about it for a few seconds.

“I’m okay Le.”

The alcohol made you feel more okay then you had been, so you supposed it wasn;t fully a lie.

“You’re drunk at 6pm, I don’t think you are fine. I’m going to go get Viv, she knows how to deal with you when you’re spiralling, I’m going to stay on the phone with you and ask you some questions, okay, I’m walking out to my car now.”

You nodded your head, the realized that Leah wasn’t in front of you.

“Answer me honestly, are you safe right now, do you feel safe?”

You didn’t feel unsafe, you kewn by the looks of things, you were in a unsafe position. Alcohol and self harm wasn’t exactly the safest thing, but you felt at peace, and you knew that you weren’t causing any serious bodily harm to yourself.

“Depends on your perspective.”

You heard the sound of car doors.

“Okay, I’ll break it down, hmm? Are you within arms reach of something that could cause harm to you or others?”

Fuck.

“Yes.”

The sound of the phone connecting to bluetooth and keys in a ignition.

“What?”

You bit down on the inside of your cheek.

“Bottle of vodka and a blade.”

It wasn’t hard for you to admit, not when this had been how you’d spent all of your nights the last while.

“What kind of blade?”

You wished you’d stayed, you wished you weren’t in this position.

“Razor.”

You could feel the bile rising in your throat, whether it was alcohol related or from the cosntant questions.

“Alright, I want you to push them both as far away from you as possible, don’t look at them, don’t think about them, think about me. Now, have you caused yourself any harm?”

God, if you’d been able to stay none of this would be happening, none of it.

“Some cuts, le I think I’m going to be sick.”

The tears were full throttle, the sound of somebody’s voice that you’d missed so much in your ears and the vomit bottling itself up in your throat.

“Go to the toilet bowl, let it out.”

The taste of bile in your throat was never going to be something you enjoyed, the feeling of the new cuts along your thighs creasing as you crouched over the bowl stinging in a way that reawakened you.

The vomiting didn’t really stop, the continuous gagging being the only sound in your bathroom, beside the sound of Leah’s car.

Eventually, you finished, all of the clearish liquid mixed with your stomach acid sitting at the bottom of the bowl like a disgusting soup.

You laid down against your tiles, enjoying the cold that covered your skin.

Viv must have been picked up, because you could hear her and Beth talking in the background, beth, happy beth, beth who had once been your bestest friend.

“Bubba, you still with us, we’re just around the corner.”

You let out a groan in aggreance.

They continued to talk to you, allowing you to reply with different huffs and noises as they neared closer and closer to your home.

You ignored the hit of endorphins that you felt melt across you at the sound of your front door unlocking, Leah had kept your key, clearly.

It was a few seconds before your bathroom was crowded by the presence of your past teammates, the three sets of eyes all falling on you.

“Beth, go get a wet handwasher, Leah go get her some water.”

Viv’s voice was soft, but commanding, her body immediately gravitating to your own.

She crouched down beside you, grabbing you by the shoulders and pushing you upwards, bringing you eye to eye with her.

“It’s good to have you back.”

You burst into tears, you’d hated being in St Albans out of fear that you’d be rejected, that you’d be told to go back to France, and yet here you were being welcomed back with open arms.

“I wish I’d stayed vivi, I wish I’d stayed, I wish none of this had happened, I want it all back, I want my life back. I can’t do this life anymore.”

Viv brought you into her arms.

“I know liefje, I know, it’s going to be okay, we’re going to figure it out, but we need to get you safe first, and this isn’t it. You need to be in a better place.”

If Viv had a problem with the way thart you clinged to her clothes, literally holding on for dear life, then she didn’t brign it up.

“You could have called one of us earlier you know, when you were struggling in France. You could have called me, you know I’ve been where you are, I’ve moved and hated every single part of it, we could have helped you before it had gotten this bad.”

You shook your head.

“Nobody could have helped me vivi, nothing could have helped me, I was done, I’m done.”

Viv nodded into you.

“We’ve got to get you cleaned up, and then you’ll go back to Leah’s house, and then we’ll work on fixing this, okay, Kyra’s going to be so happy to know you’re back, she’s missed you, the bloody kid hasn’t shut up about you and she only knew you for a week. Kim’s been contacting everybody, trying to figure out where you were, her little protege, she’s been hardly functioning, we all have been, you can’t just disappear on us like that, you had us all worried sick.”

You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Really?”

Viv let go of you a bit, to get a proper look at you.

“Just because you’re forced to leave doesn’t make you any less Arsenal. You can take the girl out of arsenal but not arsenal out of the girl. No matter where you go, or what you do, you’re always going to be one of us.”

You could feel more tears beginning to form.

“I don’t know how it could have ended how it did vivi.”

You felt the Dutch take a deep breath.

“I don’t know either, but we’ve got you alright, we’ve got you now, we won’t let you leave, your staying with us forever, you took a year off of my life for everyday that you ghosted us.”

You looked down and around you, at the mostly empty vodka bottle, the blood, the scars, it all, and you didn’t know how it had all ended up like this.

“How did it all end vivi?”

Viv looked at you, just as lost as you felt.

“We’re going to figure it out.”

——————————————————————

just thought i’d end this with a little etiquette lesson for any anons xo

if you feel like dropping hate over this in my inbox… don’t.

if you feel like having a go at me for this fic… don’t.

if you feel like making personally rude arguments about me… don’t.

if you feel like having a go at for me for expressing my struggles with writing and sometimes making mistakes… don’t.

just don’t. go touch some grass, go for a run, buy a new fucking vibrator. i can guarantee you will get more pleasure from a good orgasm then dropping aimless hate in my inbox.

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woso-dreamzzz · 20 days

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Video III

Meadema x Baby!Reader

Summary: You're the doctor today

"Well, look at you," Viv says with a small smile as you shuffle into the room," Doctor Meadema."

You giggle as you shuffle closer. The white lab coat you're wearing is massive and Viv wonders briefly where Beth has gotten it from. A similarly massive stethoscope hangs around your neck as you finally make your way over to the sofa.

"Doctor!" You repeat with a giggle, poking at the stethoscope before turning around to point at Beth," Mummy!"

"That's right," Viv says," That is Mummy."

You point at Viv. "Mama!"

"I am Mama. Well done and you're Munchkin!"

You nod and Viv hoists you up to sit next to her.

She's stretched out on the sofa, icing her knee from a long day of rehab and you wiggle happily next to her to get comfortable.

You press the stethoscope against her arm and she laughs.

"That's for a heartbeat, silly. Here." Viv adjusts it so it's just over her heart before helping you put the rest of it in your ears so you can listen. "That's my heart beating."

You frown and Viv moves it on top of your heart too.

"And that's your heart beating."

"Heart beating," You repeat," Heart beating!"

"Yeah, that's to show that we're alive. Because our hearts are beating."

You look a little confused briefly before breaking out into giggles when Viv tickles your tummy.

"Alright," Beth says to the door," I'm going out to walk Myle. Munchkin, you want to come?"

You look over at Beth when she speaks. Myle's by her feet, tail wagging happily. She whines a little as Beth delays putting on her harness.

Usually, you go with Mummy and Myle but today you're being a doctor and doctors don't abandon their patients. Mama is your patient today so you'll stay with her.

"With Mama," You say to Mummy who just smiles.

"You have fun with Mama," She tells you before finally securing Myle's harness," Viv, be good for the doctor!"

The front door shuts just as Mama throws a cushion at her.

You look up at Mama and Mama looks down at you. She smiles.

"Your Mummy is very silly sometimes."

Mama's right. Mummy is very silly but Mummy isn't here right now and you need to focus on Mama now.

Her knee is still hurt like it was when you first came home to them. Mummy's knee has gotten better but Mama's is being a bit mean to her.

That's why you're her doctor today in your big coat and your first aid kit.

You clamber over Mama's body to make it to where she's icing her knee.

"Careful, Munchkin," Viv says to you," My knee hurts."

"Kay," You chirp.

Mama said that the stethoscope is for listening to heartbeats but you wonder if you can also use it to listen to Mama's knee. Maybe there are mean little men in Mama's knee making it stay mean to her.

Mummy always says there's mean little men in your nose that keeps it stuffy when you're sick so you think they must be in Mama's knee too.

You press the stethoscope against Viv's bare knee and she jumps a little at the sudden contact.

"Mama," You say," Mean men in knee still mean."

"Oh, yeah?" Viv says," That's not very nice of them. Do you have any treatments, doctor?"

You think for a moment before nodding.

"Uh-huh!"

When you came in with your lab coat and stethoscope, you were also holding a little first aid kit.

Beth had bought it for you when you expressed an interest in one after hanging out with the medics at practice one day. You took it almost everywhere with you.

"Mama!" You cry out," Zip please!"

You take it everywhere with you but you're yet to learn how to actually undo a zip.

Viv smiles fondly, unzipping the little pack so you can rummage through it.

You throw the things you don't want out and Viv has to stifle her laughter, knowing that she's going to be the one picking it all up later.

"Found them!"

Your puppy plasters are your absolute favourite because you think they look like Myle and Myle's amazing. They're special and they're for your boo-boos only.

But you don't mind sharing with Mama.

You rip a handful of plasters open and clumsily place them on Mama's knee.

"What are those for, Munchkin?"

"Doctor," You correct.

Oh, sorry. What are those for, doctor?"

"Fight the mean men," You tell her.

"Well, I hope they do a good job," Viv tells you," But I'd feel better if I got cuddles too."

You hurry to flop onto Mama's chest, where you stay until Mummy and Myle come home.

"Doctor Munchkin's fixing my knee," Viv says as Beth inspects the array of puppy plasters on her knee.

"Oh, wow," Beth says," I'll have to get Doctor Munchkin to fix me up later too. Is that alright for you, doctor?"

You nod. "After Mama cuddles."

#woso x reader #meadema x reader #beth mead x reader #beth mead #vivianne miedema x reader #vivianne miedema #woso community #woso imagine #woso fanfics #woso

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trulyhblue · 20 days

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I don't want anyone talking to me for the next five years. My gooner is GONE shes NOT COMING BACK MY BABU GIRL TOP GOAL SCORER QUEEN HAS LEFT

I am in a state of mourning.

So long, London I guess 😭😭

#vivianne miedema #woso community #woso x reader #arsenal wfc #chelsea #chelsea women #trulyblueasks #woso #arsenal #caitlin foord #jessie fleming #arsenalwfc #arsenal x reader #alessia russo and kyra cooney cross #beth mead

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pitchsidestories · 18 days

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can't stop this feeling II Alessia Russo x Reader

masterlist I word count: 2954 I previous fanfic I

a/n: hi, the oneshot is based off the ask to write for Alessia, we hope you guys like this one, it's on the longer side, so get cozy.

Vick Hope looked expectantly at the two players who formed The Tooney & Russo Show together. The question she read out loud only a couple of seconds ago, was weighing heavy on the Arsenal forward.

They were playing a quick-fire question round of who’s more likely for the new episode and the moderator asked them:” Who’s more likely to kiss a girl?”

“Alessia, she just did last night!”, Ella yelled enthusiastically.

“Tooney!”, Alessia gasped.

Shooting an innocent smile in her best friend’s direction the Manchester United footballer defended herself:” What? You just told me.”

“Yes, but that was just a kiss between teammates.”, the Blonde explained, her cheeks turning slightly pinks as she spoke.

“You never kissed me.”, Ella reminded her with a cheeky grin.

“Yes, because you’re my best friend. I’d never kiss-.”, Alessia licked the lips nervously.

“Your friends? Liar.”, the midfielder clicked her tongue reprovingly.

The remark of the fellow footballer made the blonde blush even harder:” Can we change the topic please? This is ridiculous. It was fun and meant nothing.”

“Sure, so who’s more likely to get into a bar fight?”, sensing the change of the mood in the room Vick Hope switched the discussion to something more light-hearted.

“Definitely Tonney.”, Alessia laughed.

“True, I can’t deny that.”, Ella responded, shrugging her shoulders in a nonchalantly manner.

Last night, when the kiss which the podcast had hinted at, happened the Arsenal team has been out in the bars, celebrating the end of the season. The temperature been up letting everyone know that summer was around the corner.

“No, drinks for, y/n.”, Lia told her teammates at the table seriously. The room was nicely lit, with modern art on the walls and a lot of plants as decorative elements.

“Wally, I’m 23 and not longer 16 anymore.”, you scowled at her.

“Still, the rules are the rules.”, the Swiss woman declared, she didn’t seem to be impressed by your throw in.

Clearing her throat, Katie offered you grinning:” You can take a sip from my drink.”

“Thanks, Katie.”, you replied happily.

“Katie!”, Kim scolded the Irish player.

“She turned 23 this month, you guys need to calm down!”, she scoffed.

“Listen, I’ll order a drink now!”, Leah announced as she banged on the table, to underline the seriousness of her decision.

“Lee, I love you. Thank you!”, you sighed gratefully.

“Excuse me? I thought you loved me more.”, Alessia interjected, her pretty lips formed to a pout.

“Did you buy me a drink?”, you rose an eyebrow at her, but couldn’t help to giggle because of her silly facial expression.

“No?“, Alessia replied truthfully.

“See?“

Your teammate shrugged: “Fine then. I still love you.“

“Love you too. But not as much as Leah.“, you replied when the blonde defender reappeared next to you with a drink in hand.

You carefully took the glass from her: “Thanks, Lee.“

“You’re welcome.“, she laughed, holding up her own glass so you could clink your glass to hers.

“Cheers.“

You both took a sip of your drink and you had to admit, Arsenals vice captain had a surprisingly good taste in alcohol.

Lia playfully hit her best friend on the arm: “Leah, you’re breaking the rules!“

“The rules aren’t for her anymore.“, she replied decisively.

You nodded enthusiastically: “Exactly!“

The Swiss midfielder shook her head in faux shock: “Unbelievable.“

You suddenly felt an arm snake around your shoulders. When you looked over, your eyes met Beths. She leaned her head on her shoulder, obviously not on her first drink anymore and said: “You’ll always be our baby, y/n. No matter how old you get.“

“Oh yes.“, Lia agreed.

You shook Beth off and grimaced at your older teammates: “Ugh, you’re horrible.“

Between some gasps and a few protests, Kim only looked at you with an unimpressed expression: “No, we know you love us.“

You were about to respond that maybe they should have their alcohol consumption supervised instead because none of them seemed sober at the moment when Alessia grabbed your wrist. Your attention immediately shifted to her.

“Want to go get some fresh air?“, she asked, her blue eyes twinkling.

“Yes, please.“, you nodded, happy to escape your teammates for a moment.

A smile appeared on your friends lips as she pulled you along: “Come on then. Maybe they have calmed down until then.“

You both stepped outside into Londons night air. It was chilly and you wrapped the arm not holding your drink around yourself. “Let’s hope so. It’s just so annoying when they’re babying me like I’m still that academy youngster who joined them seven years ago…“

You sighed quietly. You were still grateful for these women. They were welcoming and supportive when you first joined Arsenals senior squad. By now you even considered most of them your family. But they still seemed to ignore that you had changed since then.

“Maybe they still want to believe that.“, Alessia grinned, bumping her shoulder against yours.

“Possible.“

“Maybe it makes them feel less old.“, the striker suggested while taking your drink from you and having a sip.

You let out a laugh: “I guess that could be true.“

While she was busy enjoying your drink, you used the opportunity to reapply your lipgloss. As you followed the contour of your lips with the applicator, you realized that Alessias eyes were following your movements.

You frowned at her: “What?“

“That’s a pretty gloss.”, the blonde muttered under her breath.

Her visible nervousness amused you.

“I could put some gloss on your lips if you’d want to?”, you offered her, smiling innocently.

“Sure.”, Alessia nodded as she kept focussing on your lips. They are so kissable, the forward thought to herself while you applied the gloss on to her.

Stepping a bit away from her, you noted:” It looks great on you.”

“Thanks.”

“It’s true.”, you replied but before you could add anything more your teammates lips were on yours, you exchanged short and sweet kisses.

In between those Alessia stated with a huge grin on her face: “And very kissable.”

“Oh, do you think so, Russo?”, you gave her a challenging look.

“Yes.”, she declared laughing.

“Too bad you’re only for the boys you’re a pretty solid kisser.”, you sighed dramatically. Despite the joking, it did hurt you saying this out loud. You couldn’t dwell on it for too long as Alessia showered you in more kisses to stop you from talking.

“I can still kiss you anyway.”, the forward claimed confidently. The two of you have been too oblivious to your surroundings, so you didn’t see your teammates turning up behind you, who have started to worry what took you two so long.

“Oi, Lessi kissed y/n!”, Katie yelled.

“Katie.”, Caitlin scolded her girlfriend.

“Wait, what !?”, Beth gasped, the shock has been written all over her face.

“Relax, girls, it was just a kiss.”, Alessia tried to soothe them with her response.

“It’s never just a kiss.”, Beth answered in a serious tone.

“Well for us it’s, right y/n?”, the younger forward asked you.

“Uhm, yeah sure.”, you mumbled, you could feel the rest of your team could sense that you were lying.

The Irish woman was clearly ready to reply something sharp, but Caitlin stopped her. “Don’t say anything right now, Katie.”

“I think I’ll be going home now.”, you decided quietly.

“Already?”, Lia questioned surprised.

When she saw you nodding the Swiss woman continued: “I can bring you home.”

“Oh, you don’t need to.”, you told her.

“I was about to leave anyway.”, Lia shrugged.

“Okay, fine.”, you gave in, after you said your goodbyes to everyone, the older midfielder and you were on your way home by foot.

While you were walking Lia was absently smiling at her phone. Normally the Swiss woman wasn’t clued to her device this much, she would have pointed out the beauty of the gardens you both were passing on the way or talking about whatever crossed her mind.

“Are you texting Mariona again?”, you teased her smirking.

“Again?”, the midfielder repeated, biting her lip guiltily.

“Oh, please, you know what I’m talking about, you playfully rolled your eyes at her before adding more earnestly, I’m happy for you, Lia, you deserve it.”

“Thanks, I’m just surprised, I haven’t told anyone yet.”, Lia confessed.

You shrugged, biting back a smirk: “Yes but you know we all have eyes and access to Instagram, right?“

“It wasn’t even obvious!“, the midfielder protested, throwing her hands up in defeat.

“Doesn’t matter we all know.“

“I guess you do.“, she sighed.

You raised your eyebrow: “See?“

“Yes. But Lessi…“, Lia suddenly changed the topic.

You could feel your heart skip a beat but pretended to remain unfazed: “What about her?“

Your teammate studied your face for a moment. “What was that about?“

“I don’t know…“ There were a million thoughts in your head, a million explanations but the reality was that you had no idea why this had happened. You were thinking about blaming it on the alcohol but you knew Lia would not buy it.

Seemingly unsatisfied with your answer, the Swiss midfielder followed up with another question: “Was it just a kiss like she said?“

You knew where she was going but you decided to act dumb: “I mean… you know Lessi. She’s just very affectionate.“

Your indifference seemed to bother Lia. She stopped right on the pavement. “But kissing is a different level of affection.“

“Yeah…“, you admitted slowly, your gaze trained on the tips of your shoes as you paused by her side.

Lia let out a sigh of understanding and when you looked back up at her, her eyes were full of empathy. “You wanted it to be more than that, right?“

“I did.“ Your voice was hoarse and quieter than you expected. You cleared your throat.

“Oh, y/n.“

Before you could protest, Lia had pulled you into a tight hug.

For the first few seconds, the embrace felt soothing and comforting but then you shook your head, signalling your teammate to let go.

“But it’s okay. I know this will never happen with her.“, you said, once Lia took a step back.

The older player whipped out her phone again and started typing: “Let me text the others.“

“Wait, what?“

“They should talk to her.“, she explained quickly.

“Oh, that’s probably useless…“

With a stern face, Lia looked directly into your eyes: “No. I know you think this is probably not a big deal. But it is. It is hard enough being a queer woman, this should not be one of the things we should have to worry about as well.“

“What do you mean?“ The fierceness in her voice almost left you speechless.

“Being randomly kissed by a straight girl. I’m sure Lessi didn’t mean it like that but… she should know.“

“She should know what it means…“, you whispered. The kisses from earlier in the evening replayed in your mind and only then did you realize that Lia was right. Alessia was the one who had initiated this.

“The others will talk to her.“, Lia plainly said before gently pulling you along.

You immediately fell into step with her as she walked you to your flat. She only left when you assured her that you would be okay.

Crawling into your bed in the quiet of your home, you hoped that sleep would come quickly.

On the next day Leah was the first to approach her teammate, opening the conversation in her earnest England captain tone: “Lessi, can we talk?”

“Sure.”, Alessia mumbled a bit nervous due to the stern expression on the older blonde’s face.

“About last night.”, the defender continued, getting straight to the heart of what was about to be discussed.

“Is this about a kiss?”, she bit her lip in front of the older woman.

“Yes., Leah confirmed her fear before adding, Lia texted me that y/n wasn’t happy.”

“Of course, she wasn’t as a queer girl getting kissed by a straight one.”, Beth joined their talk shrugging.

“That’s not what I..”, Alessia interjected with a helpless look on her face.

Clearing her throat to draw back the attention on her Leah asked the younger forward:” Why did you kiss her?”

At this point Alessia felt like she was being cross-examined by her friends.

“I just like..her so much.”, the blonde tried to explain her feelings for you in front of your teammates stammering.

“Like Lotte and Tooney?”, Beth questioned.

“ I thought so. But they never looked so..”

“Kissable?”, the England captain ended the sentence for her.

“Yes.”, Alessia nodded, licking her lips anxiously.

“Does she make you feel things like you did with boys before?”, the oldest of the players threw in.

“No, I’m not into girls.”, the younger forward shook her head.

More softly than before Leah responded:” Maybe not into girls but into her.”

“Into her?”, Alessia ran through her open hair to calm down her nerves, but she had to admit that this gesture didn’t help at all in this situation where their questions stirred something inside her for which she wouldn’t have simple answer.

“Yes.”

“I don’t even know what that means.”, the half Italian pointed out.

“Alessia.”, Beth tried to soothe her.

“I mean I’ve only been with men before.”, she reminded them and more important herself.

“Doesn’t mean it always has to be that way you know?”, Leah told her gently.

“But..”, Alessia begun.

“You don’t have to give yourself a label if that’s what’s concerning you.”, the defender emphasized.

“Thanks, girls.”, she whispered already deep into her own thoughts.

“Do you want to hear my humble opinion on this.”, Vivianne tuned in, turning up next to her girlfriend’s side.

“Of course.”, Alessia said.

The Dutch woman looked deep into her eyes while talking solemnly:” Nothing of this matters. Who you dated before, how you label yourself. But if you want to keep kissing her, don’t deny yourself that. Otherwise, you should apologize to her.”

“Well, said Vivi.”, Beth said padding the shoulder of the taller player.

“You girls are the sweetest, but I don’t know.”, the younger Blonde forward answered genuinely.

“You don’t have to know yet.. just trust your feelings.”, Leah reassured her.

Alessia nodded slowly: “I think I should talk to her.“

“That sounds like a good idea.“, Vivianne agreed, giving her teammate a gentle pat on the shoulder.

You were on your way to leave the pitch when Alessia stopped you right after training.

“Oh hey, Less.“, you said casually, trying to move past her.

“Hey. Can we talk?“

You had dreaded this question but still nodded cautiously: “Yes.“

You took a deep breath, preparing yourself to get hurt.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you, that was wrong.“, Alessia apologized sincerely.

Trying to avoid her bright blue eyes, you looked straight over her shoulder: “To be fair, I kissed you back which… wasn’t right of me either considering you only kiss boys.“

“Don’t. I initiated it. I don’t know what had gotten into me.“

You finally looked at her, searching for any sign you could find. “So you really think it was just a mistake, huh?“

The striker frowned: “I didn’t say that.“

You were surprised by the defensiveness in her voice. “True.“

For a second, Alessia just stood there, studying you. Nervously, she ran a hand through her hair. “I’m just really damn confused about what happened.“

You immediately believed her. You knew the desperate expression in her eyes too well from yourself: “Trust me, I’m confused too.“

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to confuse you.“

In this moment, you wanted nothing more than to put your lips on hers to stop her from apologizing.

“I just don’t want you like a best friend, Less…“, you said, your jaw set defiantly.

“I never felt about anyone this way…“

“And I never felt like this about a teammate.“

There was silence between the two of you. Both scared to make the wrong move.

Alessias voice was light as a feather as she whispered: “Do you think this could be something?“

“I do.“

It felt like your heart was somersaulting in your chest.

Your best friend took your hand in hers, her face softening even more: “But you’ll have to be patient with me. I’m new to all of this.“

You let out a soft chuckle: “I mean your kisses were the opposite of patience.“

She playfully hit you on your arm: “If you don’t shut up, I’ll have to kiss you again!“

“Try it.“, you challenged her but quickly added with more seriousness: “But I promise we can take it slow.“

“Promise?“

��I promise.“

“Come here.“, Alessia said, pulling you in for a gentle but long-lasting kiss.

You broke apart as Katie yelled from somewhere: “Guys, I think the kids will be alright!“

As you looked up, you saw your teammates standing at the gate of the Arsenal grounds, watching you.

Lia winked at you before turning to Katie: “I think we have to admit that they’re not children anymore.“

“Told you so, Wally!“, Leah joined in.

Kim Little grimaced: “Ugh, young love is so disgusting.“

“Oh, Kimmy, we know you love them.“, Beth grinned at the small Scot.

You looked at Alessia with raised eyebrows: “I think it’s time for us to leave, Lessi.“

“I agree.“

Maybe this was just the trial stage but the way Alessias hand fitted so perfectly in yours, told you this was going to last.

You were almost out of earshot but you could still hear the smile in Kims voice: “Such a pretty couple.“

“We knew you thought that!“, Leahs voice shouted.

You bit back a smile. What would you do without those girls?

pictures are from pinterest.

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katelynnwrites · 15 days

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so long, london ❤️‍🩹

#it was an absolute pleasure and a complete honour to have had her at my club #thank you for everything and more vivi #once a gooner...always a gooner #vivianne miedema #arsenal wfc #woso #woso community

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wileys-russo · 20 days

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viv you will always be so loved, sorely appreciated and dearly missed by those of us with more than one brain cell, I hope you’re treated better on your next adventure ❤️

📸 credit: @/skysports on twitter

#woso community #woso #vivianne miedema #arsenal wfc #awfc #arsenal women

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totaly-obsessed · 12 hours

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Woso Appreciation - Sunglasses Edition

Request a player | with @alotofpockets

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mrchiipchrome · 3 months

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Misophonia

W.C.- 2.7k

Happy birthday to meeeeee

——————

It was no secret in the world of women’s football that you and Kyra Cooney-Cross were everyone’s unofficial little sisters. The younger of the two, you, had been moved up from the Arsenal academy at the same time that Kyra joined, and the unfamiliarity of the new team that you were suddenly thrown into made you two bond fast. Really fast.

Within 5 minutes of meeting the other, you had managed to plan at least 4 pranks to perform on the girls. Through Kyra, you also became much closer to the aussies of the team, just a sort of natural consequence of hanging around the Aussie all day. She was like your older, but just as mature as you, sister.

By month 3 of knowing each other, you and Kyra had managed to find every single button to press to make the other go completely mad. For Kyra, the main thing that set her off was when you tapped your feet against the floor repeatedly. For you it was whenever anyone made any type of noise with their mouths, with the obvious exception of speaking.

It just made you so irrationally mad, especially when someone was chewing all up in your ear, the sound so revolting that you often shouted for them to get away. Most of the team had learned their lessons already and knew not to even try to chew loudly near you, as you’d put your headphones on and ignore them for most of the day.

Kyra however, being the annoying little shit (lovingly) that she was, continued to do it every single second that she could, her favourite being when she knew that you couldn’t do anything about it, like in meetings.

She’d sit in the seat right behind you, leaning her head forward so that her chin would rest against your shoulder, and start to snack loudly on a granola bar or smacking her gum. The only thing you could do was sit there and take it, clenching your fist and wondering what it was you’d send in the text to Mini later that evening.

When Kyra would get told off by her team mom later that night she always looked at you, moving her thumb over her throat, telling you that you were dead.

But yet she kept on doing it, and you kept on telling Mini, it happened so often in fact that you too created a special bond with the older woman, her becoming a somewhat mother to you too. You always joined in on their facetime calls, Harper greatly appreciating you too.

Mini liked that Kyra had someone to goof around with at Arsenal, even if it did happen to be a 16 year old kid.

And as much as you liked and worked well with Kyra, not a single adult at Arsenal thought it was a good idea for you two to live with each other, no matter how much you begged and pleaded with them. Instead you were sent to live with Beth and Viv, whilst Kyra got her own apartment. That didn’t stop you from having sleepovers once a week however.

—------

Kyra breathing loudly directly beside your ear is the first thing you notice as you wake up from your nap in the community room at Arsenal, all groggy and confused, yet already annoyed by the girl’s incessant need to irritate you.

“Man, get the fuck out my ear!” Your voice is all scratchy and deep as you shout at the other girl, annoyance at her actions showing clearly on your face. More than a few heads snap up to look in your direction, quickly looking away when they notice the situation you find yourself in, many of them already knowing what the Aussie was doing.

“Awe is wittle baby Y/n a bit cranky from their nap?” Kyra antagonizes, trying to fuel the fire that was sure to start if she continued.

“You do remember that I know where you live? I can easily smother you in your sleep.” The girl’s knew to separate the two of you when the threats started flying, knowing that it could end with you two on the floor, wrestling or trying to strangle the other.

Alessia put her arm around a smiling Kyra’s waist, pulling her away from you even as she continued to breathe loudly, annoying you all the way from across the room. Viv sat down next to you on the bean bag, looking slightly irritated at your little outburst. She knew it wasn’t really your fault, but you’d been working with her on how to regulate your feelings.

“Y/n, we don’t threaten our friends, even when they’re being annoying. How about you go and apologise to Kyra and we’ll go get you some ice cream?” The dutchie was one of your many adoptive mothers in the squad, one of the more prominent ones as she knew exactly the pressure put on you as a young superstar in the making. She just wanted to help, often doing so by coming over with dinner for you and Kyra when you have your sleepovers, making sure that you didn’t trash your diets too much.

Looking down to the floor as you walk over to the older girl, she smiles at you mischievously like she knew exactly what it was you were doing. She knew that you’d been forced by your mom to apologize to her and she was enjoying the process of you going through all the stages of grief before getting to her.

Looking her in the eye, she sees the playful hate in your gaze, she already knew that you didn’t hate her but instead having to apologize for something that she caused.

“I’m sorry Kyra” Lowering your voice, she sees you look down at her in amusement. “I hope you know that I’m only doing this for the ice cream.” The Australian gasps in mock shock at your statement, but mostly at the fact that you’re allowed to get ice cream when she isn’t.

“VIV?! Why is Y/n getting ice cream and not me?” She catches the attention of the entire team with her bold accusation, most if not all of them rolling their eyes at her actions.

“Because Y/n doesn’t start fights, and she’s apologizing for threatening you.” Viv joins the others in rolling their eyes, taking hold of your shoulders as you make your way over to her, pulling you into a side hug.

With your backs to the young Aussie, neither of you notice the way she’s rushing towards you two, ready to absolutely throw herself onto you. She comes in with an awkward angle, her legs wrapping around both you and Vic’s waists, her arms locking around your necks, nearly choking you both out. Her head slots into the space between you and Viv’s heads.

Luckily enough for every Arsenal women’s fan ever, there’s a photographer there to capture the looks of absolute horror on you and the Dutch woman’s face and the unignorable grin on the Australian’s.

“Kyra Cooney-Cross get off right this second or I swear to god I will contact Katrina personally.” Viv comes off more than a little threatening, her voice deadly calm as she speaks to the younger girl. Kyra frowns playfully and slides down you and Viv’s excessively tall bodies, her feet touching the floor after a few seconds.

“What do they feed you dutchies? You need to stop being so tall, it’s annoying.” The short girl looks at you angrily when you pat her head like she was some sort of dog, waiting for a treat. She slaps your hand away when it comes down to pet her again and the only response she gets is a shrug from you as Viv drags you away to her car.

Only minutes later Kyra’s phone pings with a notification from instagram, seeing the ‘yourinstagram tagged you in a post’ had her stressing out. When she looked at the story you had tagged her in, she couldn’t help but roll her eyes, it was a selfie of you and Viv with ice creams in your hands, you with the biggest smile ever on your face and Viv looking slightly fed up with you.

The caption you’d typed out was ‘revenge is best served cold, right @/kyracooneyx’, she reposted your story to her own, typing out a simple ‘I hate you’. But with your quick thinking and amazing humor, you quickly reply with your own story, a caption reading ‘tell that to the ice cream you didn’t get’.

Kyra couldn’t even lie and say that it wasn’t funny, the little giggle she let out an indicator of how she enjoyed the little back and forth.

————————————————

Everyone in the team agreed that the decision to put you and Kyra in the same car on the road-trip across the country was a bad idea. They knew that it would be torture, Kyra would chew in your ear, or simply just breathe loudly next to you, making you really fucking irritated. You would constantly touch her, poking at her like you weren’t afraid of losing your fingers.

The unfortunate person having to sit next to you and Kyra during the entire ride this time was none other than Alessia Russo, someone who really just wanted to sleep the entire 8 hour ride and skip your bullshit, obviously that didn’t happen.

“WHO LET KYRA HAVE SNACKS? I’m going to kill you.” Alessia sat to your left, rubbing her temples at the already growing headache, Kyra sat to your right, a sucker in her mouth and three loud crinkly bags of crisps in her lap. You were in the middle seat, a frankly uncomfortable seat seeing as you were the tallest in the entire car, knees bent inwards trying to fit your long legs between the seats.

“Yeah, Viv did you not ban snacks so that this wouldn’t happen?” Beth questions the forward, who meets Kyra’s guilty gaze in the rearview mirror, looking at her sternly. Viv sighs like she knew it would happen before reaching her hand back and asking for Kyra’s snacks. When she begrudgingly hands them over, you look at her with a huge grin on your face.

“Thank you pa, you’re my hero, saving me from the evil supervillain ready to chew in my ear.” Viv gets a little embarrassed and emotional at you calling her pa, the Dutch name for father you had nicknamed her was something you only called her in private.

“Aww Vivi, did you get a bit embarrassed?” Beth teases her girlfriend gently, tugging lightly at her dark red cheek. It was lucky you’d stopped at a red light, otherwise Viv would’ve probably crashed the car.

All of a sudden, when you’re distracted by Beth and Viv interacting, you hear a couple of loud chews of what sounds like at least 6 sticks of gum. The way you recoil is almost instant, throwing your body into Alessia’s open arms, the woman glaring at Kyra for doing that, AGAIN. Alessia liked cuddling you though so it wasn’t all that bad.

She definitely can’t complain when you fall asleep in less than 5 minutes either, though having to give Kyra a stare down as she tried to tickle your sides definitely wasn’t a highlight of her day.

Within 25 minutes of your departure from the training grounds, Kyra was already complaining about needing to pee, only answering with a shrug and a simple ‘I didn’t need to go then’ when asked why she didn’t go at home.

Viv sighs as she stops at the gas station in the middle of nowhere, Alessia waking you up so that you too could go to the toilet.

“Oh for fucks sake Kyra, you don’t need all that candy. I swear I’m more of an adult than you are.” You told the Australian girl as you came into the gas station, moving towards the bathroom. It looked like you could get every STD possible from simply being in there.

When you exited it was with a grossed out expression, that was until you spotted the slushy machines lined up against the wall. You lit up like a child on christmas morning when you spotted it, quickly filling a cup whilst you commanded her to get you a sprite, the cashier taking a quick peek at you bouncing up and down in anticipation of your drink.

After you paid, you instructed Kyra to pour about half the sprite into the slushy cup, letting her taste it after she’d promised on her mothers life not to make any sound.

“That’s delicious, where did you learn to do that?” She questions you, moving to buy her own slushy and sprite.

“I don’t know, I just did it once and it tasted great. Now you better hurry up because I think Viv is going to kill us if we’re not in the car soon.” With that, Kyra hurries up.

You’re both in the car in record time, all the actual adults in the car’s eyes widening at the half full slushy glasses in your hands.

Only a few minutes later, both you and Kyra are in full on sugar rush mode, singing along with the song on the radio loudly, swaying in your seats as you pretend you’re on the big stage somewhere. They’re all pleasantly surprised when you belt out the riff to Keyshia Cole’s Love, it being legitimately good.

As were Alessia’s instagram followers, the girl posting a video of you singing like you’d just had your heart broken, well that was until you were interrupted by Kyra snacking loudly right next to your ear.

“LOOOOOOVE NEVER KNEW WHAT I WAS MISS- KYRA GET THE FUCK OUT MY EAR.” She does look a little sheepish as she does it this time, pretty clearly not even registering that she was chewing with her mouth open.

Though she doesn’t stay sheepish for long, just like you don’t stay mad for long, because ‘I want it that way’ by the backstreet boys suddenly came on the radio, and that was always you and Kyra’s karaoke song.

It only took you a few more songs for the sugar crash to hit, you and Kyra suddenly going from duetting on songs to snoring loudly in the backseat.

Luckily enough for everyone in the car you managed to stay asleep through the whole ride, only waking up a few times to tell Kyra to ‘get the fuck out my ear’.

Literally everyone is confused when you turn up to the camping site, half asleep and clinging to Kyra tightly, Beth soon taking you from the younger girl so that she could start helping to set up the tents.

“They didn’t cause too much trouble, did they? I know how they can be.” Kim comes up to stand beside Beth, who shakes her head diligently.

“No, they slept most of the ride, they were both drinking some slushy and then had a sugar crash after singing for half an hour.” Beth smiles at you tenderly, the motherly affection clearly something she’d picked up from her own mother.

“Aw well that’s good then.” Kim says quietly, noticing you drooling slightly with your eyes half open, looking like those orange cats you always showed her.

———————

“Kyra if you don’t get the fuck out my ear I will kill you.” It wasn’t even her fault that she was sniffly, she’d caught something from Harper at camp and when you asked if you could come over for your sleepover, she didn’t hesitate.

She looked at you sadly, like she was heartbroken by your insensitive words. It makes you sad to see her like that, so you quickly bring her into your arms, asking for forgiveness.

“I’m so sorry Ky Ky, how about I make you some soup yk feel better?” She nodded wholeheartedly at your words, sitting on the counter as you made your famous soup.

And even though you had to keep yourself from being angry at her every single second, you wouldn’t trade being at Kyra’s home cooking for her for anything.

#woso #alessia russo #woso x reader #alessia russo x reader #arsenal wfc #kyra cooney cross x reader #kyra cooney cross #vivianne miedema x reader #beth mead x reader #vivianne miedema #beth mead

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awfcspencer · 4 months

Text

You're Gonna Go Far || awfc x reader

awfc x teen!reader

prompt: requested!

warnings: none!

“Foord… will you please… tell your girlfriend to…. unhook her arm from… around my neck?” You struggled to breathe out because of the unworldly size of Katie’s bicep bulging straight into your windpipe. Katie had you stationed in a headlock in the middle of the changing room. You had jokingly called her ‘McCard’ after the Irishwoman had stolen the last piece of licorice out of your package before training. You felt the nickname was warranted but Katie playfully took offense and began to play wrestling with you.

“Babe, let the kid go.” Caitlin hummed out, not even looking up from her phone as she sat in her designated cubby. She was used to the antics the two of you would get up to, when the two of you were together, you both always seemed to find trouble. So today was no surprise.

Katie thankfully let go of your head as you stumble back and dramatically take several loud breaths out, even hurling over with your hands on your knees, acting as if you had just run 100 sprints to really up the show.

“Oh if football doesn’t work out, you have a career in acting.” Katie chuckled as she gently shoved your shoulder.

You mustered up your best Irish accent and said, “Of course missus, anything for you missus” pretending to be Katie, implying that she was an absolute simp for the Australian. Which was so incredibly true, but she wouldn’t be caught dead admitting it.

“GET BACK HERE” Katie screamed as she began chasing you around the room in circles. Running out the door as you ran straight into Leah. You quickly turn around and use her body to shield you away from an angry Katie McCabe, shifting her side to side as she tries to latch onto you from around Leah.

“Hey hey hey, leave me out of your battles!” Leah told you as she escaped from your grasp. A now more serious look on the defender’s face, “Also kid, the staff wants to speak with you before training.”

“Ooo you’re in trouble.” Kyra joked as she stood behind Leah, trying to get back into the changing room because she forgot her water bottle. You shot her a glare, “I’m bringing you down with me if so” you told her and stuck your tongue out as you left the changing room and headed towards the main office.

The Arsenal staff broke the news that you would be going out on loan to the London City Lionesses at the end of the week. They had made a massive bid for you and were excited about your arrival. You tried your best to contain your rocky emotions as you bid them farewell and headed out towards the pitch for training, wanting to escape the room as fast as you could.

Signing a professional contract was what every little kid dreamed of growing up and playing football. You were incredibly lucky to be able to have achieved your dreams, especially at a club with such a history like Arsenal. Growing up in the Arsenal youth academy, it was really all you knew. The Arsenal girls were at first mentors and role models and now you considered them family. You put in the work on and off the pitch and it had paid off. You signed your first contract at age 19 and each day in training you grew as a player.

When the ACL squad had gone out, you were able to get some professional experience on the pitch, but with many of the players returning and Arsenal leveling up during the transfer windows, you had been sidelined for the most part. But Arsenal was your home. The red and gold badge meant so much more to you.

North London is your home. Meadow Park is your home. The Emirates is your home.

Temporary.

It was the only thing running through your mind. The loan was temporary. You will eventually return back to Arsenal, return back home. You would prove to your parent club that you deserved to be here. That you deserved to play here.

“How come the kid can be late but when I’m late I have to run extra laps.” Katie joked and many of your teammates laughed as you ran onto the pitch a few minutes late after your meeting. You tried to fake a laugh, it was inherently funny, but you were focused on something much bigger. No one caught onto your act, or at least that is what you thought, trying to be extra convincing as you didn’t need the extra pestering at the moment. But Leah immediately saw through you. You had given her the same laugh when she would show you a TikTok that you saw 3 weeks ago, or when she would try and use ‘gen-z slang’ but fail terribly. It would then lead you to repeatedly call her an old woman although she was only a few years older than you. She decided to let it pass. She didn’t want to bring it up in the middle of training, but she made a mental note to ask you about it later.

At training, your mind was completely somewhere else. Your shots on goal were subpar and your passes were extremely inaccurate. All you could focus on was the impending loan and leaving your home.

“Watch out!” Beth yelled out as her ball narrowly missed your head by mere inches as you weren’t paying attention. You were physically present on the pitch, but mentally and emotionally you were so far gone.

Being on loan was never a good feeling, but it gave you the opportunity to grow your game and get solid minutes on the pitch. It was going to be beneficial to get match experience under your belt instead of warming the end of the bench, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

It was ripping you away from where you belonged, where your teammates, who were now family, were.

“Kid, are you with us?” Viv's question takes you out of your trance. She can tell by the way your eyes were glazed over, or perhaps by the ball that almost sent your head clear off your shoulders. She saw your eyes the same way when you would watch Love Island on the coach to away games and she would try to talk to you, and you wouldn’t even realize.

“Yeah yeah, all good.” You lied, hoping the way your voice dropped would be unnoticed by the Dutch woman.

You belonged in Arsenal red. The Arsenal women are your family. You couldn’t even begin to fathom leaving or playing for another club.

Your answer seemed to suffice her as you ran off to get the ball Beth had sent way off the right side of the pitch. As you walked back, you surveyed the scene.

First, you saw Leah. You lived with Leah when she graciously opened her home to you when you first signed, not wanting you to be alone at such a young age yet. She told you that she ‘saw herself in you’ after she had come and watched one of the academy games that you had scored at and gave the small crowd a badge tap. She bled Arsenal through and through, and that mindset was passed down to you. You were a true Gooner deep down to your core.

Then you saw Kim. Kim was like a mother figure for you on and off the pitch. She captained you hard, but it was only because she knew you could measure up to her strict standards. She was the first one to congratulate you on a good training session or a solid game, but also the first to give you advice on how to improve your game.

Then it was Viv. Viv was always who you turned to for advice. She knew what it was like to sign a professional contract at a young age and knew how tough it could be. You had made a good name for yourself and there were several expectations put on you, both from the public but also yourself. She always managed to say the right thing and help you calm down from the stressful nature of the sport.

When you wanted to escape the serious part of professional football, you always found yourself goofing off with Kyra or Vic. Kyra, Vic, and you were designated the “annoying younger sisters” and the three of you gladly accepted the role. Hiding matchday kits, spraying teammates with water, or playing little pranks on the girls, it was always one of you three behind the action, or sometimes all three of you worked together to terrorize the girls.

You had made several strong connections with every single girl. They were your sisters/mothers/best friends. You couldn’t even begin to imagine leaving them. They were your family.

A new location, a new team, and new teammates, it was terrifying.

You had decided to keep the loan a secret for now, it was too much to think about right now, and you were both nervous and scared. The secret was kept for roughly 2 hours because at lunch, sat across from Alessia, she had asked you to go with her to a new restaurant next week that she had been dying to try.

“I’m uh going on loan” was merely breathed out in a hushed whisper. It was the first time you had said it out loud, suddenly becoming real. You were leaving.

“Sorry didn’t catch that, what?” Alessia asked, assuming she had simply just heard you wrong and you didn’t just say that you were going on loan.

“London City Lionesses, loan, next week.” You told her as you stared down at your food. You no longer felt like eating anymore. Bidding her goodbye before she could ask any more questions. Questions that you were not ready to answer. You didn’t want to think about the loan anymore. Walking back out to the pitch to work on a few shots on goal. Wanting to do something to clear your mind.

Your sudden exit did not go unnoticed by your teammates as they now hurled questions at Alessia. She was sure you hadn’t told the other girls yet by the mere way you could barely say the word ‘loan’. She now connected the dots that that was the reason for your meeting before training, the reason you had been late. She was at a crossroads, does she tell her teammates or wait for you to say something, I mean it was your secret to begin with.

“You guys will just have to ask her,” Alessia said as she shoved more food in her mouth to avoid spilling the secret, she was never good with keeping secrets.

Several head nods targeted toward the blonde striker as they finished their meals and made moves to begin going home for the day. Something stuck with Leah though.

The fake laugh at Katie’s joke, your lack of awareness at training, and the way you left during the middle of lunch, Leah was concerned for you.

Leah drove you every day to training and she was ready to finally go home, but she could not find you anywhere. She searched the changing room, the lunchroom, and the showers. She even interrogated Kyra and Vic thoroughly to see if they had something to do with your absence. You were nowhere to be found.

“Leah she’s on the training pitch. She has been out there since lunch. I think that is where she escaped off too.” Viv told Leah as she entered the changing room again when she started to recheck each location to see if you had suddenly appeared. Viv had caught sight of you out there as she finished up her cooldown exercises in the gym.

Back on the training pitch, you practiced over and over. Running through different dribbling drills and hitting specific targets on goals, you were dead tired. But your mind was incredibly active. What if you never returned back to Arsenal? What if Arsenal didn’t want you anymore? Maybe the loan was a way of sending you off to be someone else’s problem? Tears began to fall from your eyes, but you continued practicing. You needed to prove you belonged on this team. All of your shots were messy and ill-timed, but you continued to practice.

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Let’s go home, the car is already started.” Leah yelled out to you as she walked towards you. She was clearly unaware of what emotions you were currently going through, and the way tears fell freely down to your cheeks. “Hey, what’s wrong?” She asked as she took in your state, pulling you away from the goalpost and bringing you in for a hug, rubbing circles on your upper back as you sobbed into her chest.

For the next couple of minutes, you stood on the pitch in Leah’s arms, embracing her warm nature and comforting essence as you calmed down a bit. Breaking the silence after your breathing had returned to a normal pace and the tears had stopped, “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked. Now shifting the two of you to sit on the pitch next to each other, but she never let go of your hand, intertwining them as she sat.

“The staff meeting was about me going on loan to London City Lionesses at the end of the week. I’m just really scared Lee. I don’t want to leave Arsenal.” You wanted to sob again thinking about leaving, even the mention of it made your heart break even more.

Leah’s more serious face turned now soft as she brushed her thumb along the top of your hand, understanding now your odd character at training all day. “I know going on loan can be scary, but you are going to grow as a player, and you will return back to us kid. You are too vital for us to lose forever. The staff just wants you to get some more professional experience and then come back to us ready to score goals and dominate.” She spoke as if she meant every single sentence, and it was because she did, and you knew that.

“So you’re not mad?” Leah was Arsenal’s number one fan, you weren’t sure how she would take you leaving and playing for another club.

“Of course, I am not mad. You’re gonna go far kid, show London City your talents, and then eventually bring them back to Arsenal kid.” Bringing you upwards as she hugged you tightly.

“Let’s go home now yeah?” she asked as you simply nodded into her chest. Pulling you by your hand as she led you to the car.

Maybe going on loan would be a good thing. You would excel in a new environment, no matter how scary it was, and then return home. You would prove all the doubt in your head about not being a good enough player for Arsenal and show you could play for this team. Play in the Arsenal red.

On the way home, Leah sent a text message to a couple of the Arsenal girls about the situation and Leah requested a team movie night at her place. All of the girls were immediately on board and would be in attendance.

When you arrived home, you wanted to be alone. It was a long day and you needed to decompress a bit from the loan news and ultimately a bad day at training. You told Leah you would be up in your room if she needed anything and that you would be back down for dinner later.

A few hours later there was a soft knock at your door and assuming it was Leah, you told her to come in. Sat on your bed with your eyes closed, thinking about everything.

"Hey kid, Leah told me about the loan." Opening your eyes to find the Irishwoman standing in the middle of your bedroom. She made her way over to your bed and sat down horizontally next to you.

"I remember when I went on loan. It was scary, yes, but it made me really appreciate what I had here at Arsenal. I worked so hard and I was able to return. I have no doubt in my mind that you will come back to us, kid." She explained to you. You didn't feel the need to respond, instead pulling her in for a hug. "There are some people here downstairs for you too." She whispered in your ear.

Together you walked downstairs to the living room and were met with several of your teammate's family. A majority of them were dressed in comfy clothes, passing around snacks on the large couch that Leah had.

"Movie night," Leah told you as she came behind you and wrapped you in a hug.

You settled in between Alessia and Leah as everyone decided on a movie to watch. Beth advocated for a movie that really nobody wanted to watch as Viv tried to negotiate with her and chose a different film.

Finally settling on a Disney classic that Leah had suggested, knowing it was your favorite of all time, Tangled, and everyone agreed.

The movie night was relaxing and chill until about halfway through when Katie began to get bored and started throwing popcorn at you from her location opposite of you on the couch. Of course that gave you the right to start throwing small gummy bears back at the Irish. A couple of them were a bit misplaced as they now hit Kyra who immediately joined in throwing her own small chocolates.

A now full small food fight happening in the living room as teammates were getting hit with snacks and throwing back whatever was thrown. Katie had left her spot on the couch and hurdled towards you, jumping on you as she battled away your swinging arms.

"Let me go Mccabe!" you screamed laughing as she placed you in a similar headlock from the morning.

Leah just let everything happen, not caring how her once perfectly clean living room was now a mess with pieces of candy thrown everywhere, or how you and Katie fought on her couch. For the first time today, Leah saw and heard you laugh and after finding the sad news, it was all she wanted when she planned the movie night, to see you have some fun and laugh.

#woso x reader #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso #woso one shot #woso soccer #woso blurbs #womens soccer #arsenal women #arsenal wfc #awfc x reader #awfc imagine #leah williamson #alessia russo #vivianne miedema #beth mead #katie mccabe #woso couples

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