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Suffocation: Gojo Satoru x Reader

Suffocation MLIST Summary: Time spent apart from Gojo means time spent with the students. That is, until your powers awaken. ps,, new chapter leaks?? we are so back!!! <3 Wc: 6, 500

The two of you, in fact, never got the chance to talk about it. You had fallen asleep on the couch, this time without him but with the students and your brother. As Gojo passed the common room on his way out, he thought about waking you to say goodbye. But you looked so peaceful leaning against the armrest, with Yuji curled beside you like a kitten.

The fact that Nobara, let alone Megumi, felt comfortable enough to do the same made Gojo's heart swell. All of them leaned against each other until it fell on you, your arms once spread wide but now curling into your chest, a peaceful smile spreading across your dream-filled face.

All he could do was pull out his phone and snap a picture, hoping he would get close enough with you to show it someday. To really make you understand that you were the missing piece in all of their lives. You would be a great mother. You would be a fantastic wife. You were everything and more.

Time did not matter; only the impact did. And what a crater you would leave behind.

What was this feeling?

Gojo allowed himself to steal one more look at you before returning to the duties he dreaded. It was convenient to be the most powerful sorcerer for once, as he deliberately teleported back to leave a present on your vanity, praying you would miss him as much as he would miss you in the next few days. Hoping you would understand.

When you woke, Gojo was already gone. And as you checked your phone later in the morning, you found his message.

Annoying ass teacher guy:> Will be back in a few days. Don't miss me too much, princess.

He imagined that since you were around the students, you would try to hide your blush as well as you could before typing back a witty reply with ease.

Yuji’s sister </3:> And if I miss you too much?

Annoying ass teacher guy:> I don't want you to be sad, but that might make what i'll do to you even more special ;)

Yuji’s sister </3:> you flirt

Annoying ass teacher guy:> check your desk

"Ugh!! Nanamiiiinnn!" Gojo sighed dramatically, flinging himself next to Nanami on the couch. It was idiotic with how anxious he was for your reply.

"What Gojo?" he grumbled, tersely flipping the page of his book.

"I won't see her for three days!" he whined. "Will she remember who I am?"

"The fact that she texted you back should be your answer," Nanami sighed, dismissing his friend's behavior as another joke. He didn't even know who Gojo was talking about, as he had already tuned out the teasing and nonchalance all morning. "Keep in mind we are here for work."

"We're done with work for the day, so you dont have an excuse to not listen to me."

Nanami put his book down, heaving a sigh. "Fine, spit it out."

A long silence passed as Gojo gathered his thoughts, deciding to start from the beginning. He didn't know if Yuji had said anything to Nanami yet about your arrival, but it didn't matter. Gojo wanted to talk about you; hell, he needed to. Just to think about something else, anything to get your face out of his mind. Talking about it had to help, right? His emotions were always bottled up, but this feeling… this one, was unlike any other.

Plus, Nanami had always been good with women. Advice shouldn't hurt, even if he was seeking it out from the person who would be harshest with him. It was needed.

And so, Gojo decided to ramble as he described your arrival, abilities, relation to Yuji, and what the two of you had already gone through in a week. The last thing he added was your beauty, which was definitely worth asseverating.

"She's all I can think about," he repined.

Nanami deadpanned. "You've only known her for a week," he said without thinking, but then really reflected on how Gojo was acting, how he talked about you, and how he said your name. There was a deep yearning, carefully covered with humor and dramatics. Had he ever seriously cared for a woman this much before? Nanami couldn't think of a time. Gojo was his usual, over-dramatic self, but Nanami noticed the differences. It was in the way Gojo moved, the slight uncertainty in his eyes, and how relieved his body language became once he finished his tangent.

Even just the description of you intrigued Nanami. Yes, it was astonishing to hear that Yuji had a sister and even more surprising to discover you had unique, undocumented cursed energy.

"You think the flowers were too much?"

"You bought a woman flowers?" Nanami's cold demeanor cracked into one of surprise. Then, he awkwardly cleared his throat to cover. "Absolutely not; flowers are a very safe choice."

"Seriously, is it that surprising?" Gojo sighed in defeat. "Why is everyone so surprised? I went on dates all the time, I know how to please a woman!"

"Not that you couldn't do it, but chose to."

That caused Gojo to fall silent. How his friend was able to read him so clearly was astonishing in itself. He was right, and that's what bothered Gojo. He had walked through life expecting never to feel this way, as he didn't have the time or energy to keep a woman by his side long enough for it to be worth it, let alone labeled. But with you, he wanted to. All he needed was for you to say yes.

Watching Gojo's eyebrows furrow, the realization spreading across his face, Nanami continued. "I know you've been with women before, but it actually seems like you deeply care for her. In the decade I've known you, I've never seen you like this."

"There's just something about her." Gojo twirled his phone between his fingers. Staring off into the distance. "I don't know what to do."

"Why wouldn't you know what to do?"

Part of Gojo was still determining whether he should allow himself to entertain the thought of you. Was this smart? Was he being fooled in a way he never thought possible? It was hard to trust, but you had never made him uneasy. Sometimes, you only need to look at a person to understand their intentions. And yours were pure.

But Gojo had been fooled before. All that distrust came flooding back as he thought of your unique ability. You somehow slipped past his infinity, and it frustrated him. He had let his guard down around you without realizing it. It was as simple as breathing when you were near. You weren't just beautiful and kind; you were also powerful. A road that could prove treacherous if he didn't play his cards right, not just for him but for everyone who relied on him, too.

"I've never felt this way before."

"And why are you making that seem like a bad thing?"

"Have you ever pictured me with a woman by my side?"

"I sure hoped and prayed that there was someone who could put you in your place."

Reluctantly, Gojo finally asked the question that mattered most. "What if I hurt her?"

"You probably will, but that's just how relationships go sometimes. Especially with a life as complicated as ours. Whether she can handle it or not, is up to her."

Gojo soaked in Nanami's words, ultimately concluding that he was worrying too much. If it was meant to be, it would. Right?

Everything eventually worked itself out, and he hoped that it could end in you being his alone. What wishful thinking.

"You know what Nanamin?" Gojo glanced over at his friend and coworker. "You're right."

And once Nanami saw that mischievous smile spread back across Gojo's face, he knew everything was back to normal. He shook his head, the slightest smile threatening to grace his lips. But Gojo knew he was hiding it when the corners of his eyes crinkled.

"Why do you look so smug?"

"I just can't believe that someone is willing to date you."

"You are so mean!" Gojo whined again, standing up from the couch and walking sluggishly to the exit as if he had been physically wounded. "I'll prove you wrong, Nanamin. Next time we meet she'll be in love with me."

And then, his phone pinged a message from you.

Y/N<3:> I love it, Satoru.

Curious, you wandered back into your room after breakfast. His message had left you operating at half capacity from the anticipation of it all. As soon as you opened the door, your eyes darted to your desk, where you found a bouquet of roses. The most beautiful bundle you'd ever seen.

There was a vase with a note attached. Picking it up with one hand, the other thumbed over the soft, ruby petals. As you finished the note, a permanent smile spread across your face for the rest of the day.

Keep the vase beautiful. As long as you're here, you won't go a week without flowers. - Satoru

One day turned into two, and you couldn't configure why it made you sad. It really shouldn't. Gojo's absence should be acceptable to you, but the longing in your chest told you otherwise.

Yuji claimed he was just on an emergency assignment and assured you it was normal. None of the students or staff seemed to bat an eye at his absence either. It allowed you to settle in without distractions and gave you more free time to befriend Yuji and the students. They trained with you, taught you what they knew, and refused to leave you alone for over an hour. In fact, they made your apartment their new hangout spot. They claimed it was cozy and smelled good, and you were too nice to refuse their company.

A gigantic beanbag had been brought in, and they were taking advantage of your Nintendo Switch games while you skimmed through a textbook peacefully on your bed. The campus library was a perfect resource, filled with specific literary curse techniques you couldn’t find elsewhere. You were learning so much, not just about jujutsu but also about yourself and your abilities. If only you could uncover the link between them all.

The sound effects of Mario Kart and the focused grunts of the students filled the room. The race ended, and Yuji sighed in defeat. “Are you sure you don’t wanna get in on this, Y/N?” he asked, head falling to the beanbag as he stared at you upside down.

“I need to study!” you chuckled. “Maybe next time?”

“Gojo should be back tonight, maybe he’ll join.” Megumi shrugged, already forcing the three of them into another tournament. You couldn’t help but perk up slightly at the mention of the white-haired sorcerer. He hadn’t told you when he’d return, and you couldn’t deny how badly you wanted to talk with him.

“But he always wins!” Yuji groaned.

“Oh?” you snorted. “So you only want me to join so you can beat me?”

Yuji snapped his head up, laughing nervously. “No I promise!”

Sticking your tongue out, your eyes returned to the textbook in your lap.

Nobara watched you closely before the match started, and your reaction to the mention of her Sensei confirmed her suspicions. Your sudden smile was also a dead giveaway.

“I bet Y/N would join if Gojo was here~” she teased, snickering to herself.

That definitely interrupted your train of thought, and you immediately became flustered. At least one person noticed something was going on.

“What makes you say that?” you squeaked, mentally smacking yourself for how obvious you sounded, cheeks already beginning to burn. There was no reason for you to be nervous about it. Yes, Gojo was their teacher… but you were an adult and had no previous affiliation with him to make it scandalous. A relationship with Gojo might only be weird if Yuji was uncomfortable. Would he be? Were you thinking way too much about it?

You were definitely jumping to conclusions. Gojo probably didn’t feel the same way about you. Gifts could only get him so far. His nickname for you and how he touched you didn’t necessarily mean he wanted what you did.

Then you remembered what he did to you before he left. And your anxiety spiked once again.

“You like him, do you not?” Nobara pried through a lighthearted laugh, even if she couldn’t understand. The thought made her want to barf. You were way too good for him. But her Sensei had his perks, and maybe, just maybe, he deserved someone like you in his life.

Fuck. You really wished Gojo was there to do the talking, to make it seem like a joke, to deflect the accusation with his ridiculous and ambiguous humor. You were so unsure about everything, but especially Gojo. You didn’t know him well enough yet, you didn’t know the students well enough to put a label on anything. “I mean…” you trailed off, trying to sound nonchalant. “What's not to like?”

Megumi facepalmed, knowing what was about to happen.

“You like-like Gojo Sensei?” Yuji asked in confusion, almost dropping the switch remote.

Your hands shot up in defense, growing frantic and flustered when all three students craned their heads to stare at you. “I dont know?”

“Oh my God,” Megumi sighed in defeat. “She does.”

“Really?” Yuji blinked multiple times, glancing at his friends and then back to you, wondering if he’d been too oblivious to realize. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

“You both are so dumb sometimes.” Nobara pinched her nose. “Who do you think got her those roses on her desk?”

They all turned their heads to look at your desk, which, in fact, still displayed the flamboyant bouquet of red roses placed neatly in a glass vase. It was so obvious. Of course, Nobara would notice something like that.

“It’s not what it looks like…” you tittered, wanting to run into your closet and hide from the embarrassment of it all.

“I assumed it was just a friendly welcoming gift!” Yuji fussed in response to being called dumb.

“Red is the color of love, idiot,” Megumi sighed.

Yuji slumped further into the bean bag, releasing an even more exasperated sigh than Megumi. He wasn’t upset about it, only frustrated that he wasn’t the first to notice and ask you about it. Days passed, and nobody said a word about something so important. Gojo liked you? Like that?

“Have you kissed?” Nobara pried further, desperate to hear the gossip.

You didn’t reply, trying to hide the bashful smile that threatened to spread across your face by biting down on your lip. You did more than just kiss, but you would keep that to yourself. Even if you didn’t say anything, what you felt was displayed in your expression. Why were you so bad at lying?

Nobara threw her head back with a cackle, nudging Yuji in his side. “How do you feel Yuji? Gojo likes your sister!”

Your brother seemed to ponder for a minute longer than you hoped for, but all he did was shrug and admit, “I’m surprised,” he said, but then smiled at you with kindness and understanding in his eyes. “If that’s what you want Y/N. I’m okay with it.”

“Really?” Your mouth dropped open. “It's not weird?” you asked none of them in particular.

“I don’t think it's weird,” Megumi finally butted in. “Gojo can be a good person when he wants to be.”

“Yeah!” Yuji beamed at you, thinking it funny that you would consider his feelings in the matter. “You don’t need to worry about how I would feel. You’re my sister, but only as of recently. You deserve to be with who you want!”

What a gentle, kind, and loving soul your brother was. How could he be so sweet at such a young age? It had taken you far longer to open yourself up, to trust, and seek happiness. He made it seem easy, as if he hadn’t endured his own trauma of death and separation.

“Thanks, Yuji.” You smiled back at him, relaxing back to your previous, unbothered demeanor. “I’ll take that into consideration.”

“That’s it?” Nobara sighed. “No more details?”

“No more details.” You scrunched your face at her teasingly. “Once I figure it out, you’ll be the first to know.”

“Boooooo,” she jeered, picking up a remote and leaning back toward Yuji. “At least we have something to blackmail Gojo with now,” she whispered loud enough for you to hear.

Yuji chuckled at that, and so did Megumi. They all continued to play their game, and you went back to reading your book. You smiled as you scanned through the lines and jotted down notes about domain expansions. According to Gojo, they were a rare occurrence, but it was wise to be as prepared as possible. You remembered as much as you could about his—how awakened and alive you felt. A cursed spirit would be a different story, though. And you preferred to not think more about it just yet. You only hoped you would never be trapped in one.

About to turn another page, you felt that all too familiar rush of dread.

No…not right now. It was too soon.

A gasp left your lips, and you went rigid. Before you could even think to warn Yuji, Megumi, and Nobara of what they were about to witness, the upper portion of your body violently snapped back into the bed.

The headboard smacked against the wall loud enough to alert the students. One breath was all you could take before a sudden coldness infected every portion of your body. Then, you began to cease, all control of your body vanishing.

“Y/N?” Yuji immediately shot up from the beanbag, followed by his duo. They all rushed to your bed as if sensing the pressure in the room change. The candle you had burning blew out as Yuji scooped his hands under your head, trying his best to cradle you. “What’s wrong?”

“Is she okay?” Megumi barked, eyes wide in concern. Nobara’s eyes shot to the now-smoking candle.

A few more spasms ricocheted through your body, and you grit your teeth in an attempt to relax. All you needed to speak was a few strained sentences. Your body was so stiff, and you could feel your hands clench. Your eyes started to droop before you could stop them.

“N…Notebook…” you stuttered, trying to gesture to the only one sitting on your desk. “And quill!” you forced out. It clicked without further explaining for Megumi, and he snatched them and brought them to you.

Yuji, on the other hand, was frantic, shouting your name over and over again. Nobara was reaching for her cell phone, yelling about calling an ambulance.

“Normal!” you cried out, shaking uncontrollably. “It's normal…” You went limp in Yuji’s arms and were finally able to rush out what you needed. “Don’t call anyone–” you strained.

It wasn’t a typical seizure; you knew it. Your body contorted in ways that looked painful and unnatural, and you knew you were scaring them. This was the first time you were losing control in front of others. Tears started gathering in the corner of your eyes from the fear of it all, from the judgment and the embarrassment.

Then, your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you ceased again. It would continue to happen until you picked up that stupid quill. You felt helpless, not just for yourself but for your poor brother, who was now about to witness just how strange you really were.

The last thing you felt was Megumi sliding the quill into your enclosed grip.

Gojo felt the shift before he opened your door, the gifts he brought back for you and the students falling to the floor as he burst through it, freezing as his eyes settled on your contorted body. You were utterly still, the only part of you moving was your hand, metal tip scribbling against the paper. The sound of it was abhorrent as if every etch foretold destruction. Invisible dread hung in the air, undoubtedly coming from whatever prophecy you were weaving.

But your eyes were what scared him. They were completely rolled back into your head, so much so that the blood vessels looked as if they were going to burst. You suddenly began to twitch violently, making Yuji gasp with concern, making Gojo rush to your side, dancing along a frantic line.

“Gojo Sensei!” Megumi turned to him with wide eyes. “What’s happening?”

“It's okay!” He approached you as if he was in a trance, and the students moved aside. He didn’t know if you were okay if this was normal or expected. You had only summarized these episodes briefly.

Once he was at your side, his knees gave out. He felt almost paralyzed, gazing at you in such apparent pain and unable to think of a way to fix it. This was an undiscovered form of cursed energy. He tried desperately to scan through his memories for one instance of something similar but came up with nothing.

“She was fine just a second ago,” Nobara muttered in shock, glancing around as if she could solve it and relieve your predicament.

“Did she say anything before?” Gojo asked, eyebrows knitting with worry.

“T-That it was normal,” Yuji said, standing behind Gojo with a worried, distraught expression, noticing how his Sensei’s eyebrows furrowed as if he, too, was at a loss for what to do. Yuji couldn’t recall a time when Gojo was confused, let alone displayed such concern.

Gojo relaxed slightly but still reached out and adjusted your pillow to support your neck. At that point, he didn’t care if his students watched him reach out and caress your cheek. He was so worried. It didn’t matter if you had warned him about something like this. The way you twitched and gasped and the tears that still poured from the corners of your eyes made him furious.

Glancing at the notebook that your quill was scratching erratically on, Gojo still found it blank even as he used his six eyes. “I saw her last prophecy. But I can't see anything yet. I think she has to finish,” he whispered, grasping your other hand to let you know he was there for you.

Faintly, your pinky finger twitched against his palm, curving around his own finger before going limp again. Then, you twitched, a loud gasp heaving from your throat.

“Something is coming,” was all you said, eyes still rolled back before you shot up into a sitting position. It seemed impossible, but you began to scratch faster as your cursed energy burst to life, almost engulfing the entire room. All-consuming was the green aura, and the surprise of it all caused Gojo to jolt back. Nobara yelped in fright.

When everyone glanced back at you, they realized the notebook was floating, so were you and the loose items around you. And now, your eyes were glowing. Your aura was so unique, so rare. It was calming when it should be everything but.

The quill left the paper and began to brush more fluidly, calmly, and peacefully into the open space around you. Trying to focus, Gojo started to understand what you were actually doing. As beautiful as it was, the Kanji began to flow together to cast a spell. An ancient one, not a prophecy.

It felt like a mirage, as if Gojo was stepping through a rainbow. Beautiful colors, your beautiful face. The depths of your soul. The parts of you he craved to know. He saw flashes of you, moments that hadn't happened yet but felt like they were meant to. Your smile, your kindness, loyalty, and trust. Love was what it was. And he had so much of it to give. He would die for you in a heartbeat; he would do anything to keep that pretty smile on your face. He imagined himself holding you, imagined how amazing it would feel to call you his wife—he saw himself getting down on one knee, that expensive ring sparkling from inside a black velvet box. With tears streaming down your face, you nodded furiously. “I love you so much, Satoru.”

“Gojo what are you doing?” Megumi’s voice interrupted his vision, tinged with panic and warning.

The promised future vanished as quickly as it came, as Gojo realized he was holding your face, and you were holding his. No, not just his face; the fingers of your left hand were curled around his blindfold, and your right hand had begun to tug at the knot. You had almost slipped past the infinity that protected his soul. And you would have done it with ease.

Surprised, Gojo tugged his head back. And at the loss of contact, you gasped. A cry left your lips as the cursed energy you released shot back inside of you, snapping your body back to the bed. The silence that followed was deafening, and all anyone could hear was the sound of their pounding hearts, trying desperately to clear their minds of the haze your aura commanded.

The students and teacher all glanced at each other with dazed expressions. Glossy eyes and opened mouths proved that all of them had seen something, not just Gojo.

“What did you see Yuji?” Gojo asked, snapping back to reality faster than them. He knew you were okay by the steadiness of your breathing but was still cautious to get too close again.

Your brother blinked, still trying to comprehend what he’d seen. It felt so genuine and authentic like it had happened before. “I was sitting next to Y/N at a large dinner table. We all were…toasting to something. I don’t know what, but I was so happy. She told me how proud she was to be my sister. There were others there too but I couldn’t see their faces. You were on the other side of her, Sensei.”

Gojo’s eyes snapped to the others, taking note of Yuji’s explanation. A different vision, but similar to his—both of their visions highlight a relationship to you.

Megumi could feel Gojo’s gaze on him, knowing he’d been asked a question, but couldn’t muster a response. He knew he looked like a deer in the headlights, sort of how Yuji and Nobara both did. But instead of being able to explain what flashed through his mind, Megumi just swallowed hard in hopes of distracting himself from the pang in his chest.

There was no way, just no way. What had he even seen? Was it the future? Was it something he wanted and didn’t even know? All he knew was that the mirage had cracked the second he called you mom. Megumi had called you mom. There were no words to describe the feeling that constricted at his throat and prevented him from speaking. What he saw was you resting under a tree, nestled between his demon dogs and reading a book. They had grown a liking to you, just as he had.

“I need them for training, mom,” Megumi called over, rolling his eyes.

“But I’m so comfy!” you whined, and the dogs snorted in agreement.

“When you’re done, please let me know.”

What did that even mean? How did that happen? Regardless, the gaping hole of belongingness cracked open further. And as Megumi ruminated over what he’d seen, he was left even more confused.

“We were shopping for…clothes…” Nobara finally said, but stopped before finishing. She intentionally broke her Sensei's focus after noticing the turmoil and confusion in Megumi’s eyes. The unanticipated vision was confusing her, too. The two of you had been shopping for baby clothes. And as she thought harder, she realized you had a slight baby bump poking through your sundress. The floppy summer hat you wore could not conceal the happiness in your eyes as you looked at her, wondering which outfit she thought was the cutest. After she gave her advice, you replied, “You’re gonna be the best auntie ever.”

Was this a glimpse of the future? And if so, did the others have a similar premonition like hers?

Dazed, you finally opened your eyes. The overhead light blinded you, only for a moment, before you remembered where you were and who you were surrounded with. Tears slipped past your eyelids before you could stop them. There were so many emotions and questions racing through your entire body that it would be impossible to properly formulate them. You were shaking still, feeling like you were being chased out of an incredible high. A high that reached its peak and was crashing down, leaving you distraught and fatigued.

“I’m sorry!” you choked out between gasps, feeling like you were suffocating, sitting up to see all of them staring at you with apprehensive eyes. “I-I’m sorry—”

“It’s okay,” Gojo immediately rushed back to your side, grasping your failing hands and pressing them softly into your lap. “Take a deep breath. It’s okay.”

Nodding furiously with tears streaming down your face, you inhaled sharply, his touch instantly soothing you.

“Slower.” Gojo nodded. “It’s okay.”

Feeling the pounding in your ears start to fade, you swallowed, mustering a sad smile as you glanced at him. He looked so worried from what you could see on his face, and it made a peculiar hollowness reside within your thoughts, realizing you had ruined his arrival. Your surroundings were different, too. Your books and supplies were strewn across the floor, along with presents at the entrance to your room. Had Gojo brought home gifts?

“I don’t know what happened. That’s never happened before.”

Your expression of paranoia explained enough to the white-haired sorcerer. Was that look in your eyes one of guilt? What could you possibly feel guilty for? Were you afraid he wouldn't believe you?

“I believe you,” Gojo whispered, releasing his hands from covering yours. He hesitated, wanting to comfort you more, but relented. You probably needed your space anyway. There was no clear answer for what just happened, and you were nonplussed, looking to him for answers he couldn’t give you. At least, not immediately, but he would try his best.

“Are you okay, Y/N?” Yuji questioned as he crossed the room, taking the opportunity to comfort you now that Gojo backed away. “Are you hurt?”

Remaining silent as Yuji gave you a hug, Gojo watched the two of you interact, mostly Yuji fussing over you, asking over and over again if you were okay. “No, no, I’m fine.” You tried your best to smile at your brother.

“Are you sure?” Gojo pressed further, recognizing the uncertainty in your eyes. This was a shock to everyone, Gojo especially, unsure how to feel about the glimpse into his future. Was it wise for him to know something that important? His feelings for you were already passional, and he was undeniably infatuated with you. A seer with comparable powers hadn’t been born in centuries, so the validity of your visions was unknown. But, visions were more tangible and easier to understand than prophecies. Was this a promise or a hint? Could it be changed based on the choices he made?

“Do you remember what happened?” Gojo finally asked after a stretch of silence.

Shaking your head, you looked over at the notebook beside you. The energy was palpable, and it was coming from it. You pushed it across the bed and nodded at him to take it. Part of you was scared to read its contents, from the impartial images that flashed through your mind, from the inexplicability of it all and the lack of understanding. What scared you the most, though, was that you were certain. What you saw was going to happen eventually. You didn’t know when or how it would happen, but it would. None of your predictions ever failed to come true.

Scanning the words, Gojo sat down on the bed next to you. He seemed calmer than you, acting like what he witnessed was an everyday experience. Somehow, it helped settle your thoughts. If he wasn't worried, there was no reason for you to be either. The trust you were developing for him only resonated deeper.

The students huddled around Gojo, trying to peak over his shoulder for a glimpse of the cursed energy.

“Let me see it!” Yuji whined.

That managed to make you laugh through your nose.

As soon as the sky is colored green,

The chosen one will realize their blindness

Souls will clash and die, but love will blossom

Children of clans from old fight demons that seek redemption,

The day the king returns, all hope will be lost until she aw—a. A. Awake. Awaken—अहं भाषा वदामि। त्मरक्षा एव वास्तविकशक्ति

संरक्षण-संरक्षण-आह्वानम्-नरके मृत्योः च मुक्तं अवगच्छन्त

रक्षणार्थं आह्वानम्-नरकेभ्यः मृत्योः च मुक्तम्

Death rebirths life

You saw what you'd written, the look of bewilderment on their faces, and the deafening silence that followed. Snatching the journal from Gojo, you brought it closer to get a better look.

“What language is that?” Nobara asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“It’s sanskrit,” Gojo replied lowly, confusion lacing his tone. Something odd was definitely happening. Only the oldest spells were written in that dead language, long before humans gained a proper understanding of what jujutsu entailed. He couldn’t understand all the words, only bits and pieces, referencing the oldest spells recorded in history.

“I-I don’t understand.” Your eyes glossed over with worry. “I don’t know Sanskrit.”

“I think only a few people do,” Megumi added.

“It looks like something hijacked your prophecy.” Gojo pointed out, noticing the green color fade from your cursed energy into something black and ancient. He pointed at one symbol. “This means I create.” He moved down the line. “And this means protection.”

“A protection spell?” Nobara muttered.

This felt too familiar, and the revelation was on the tip of Gojo’s tongue. Long ago, there was a clan of witches comprised entirely of women. Remnants of their bloodline still remained, but it had been hundreds of years since they were in power. Most of their history remained undocumented, but they specialized in prophecy and ancestral magic. Gojo skimmed through his memory, trying to recall the last written prophecy from the supreme.

Gojo looked at you, and it clicked into place.

A low, sinking feeling settled in your stomach.

“I need to speak with Y/N alone,” Gojo said to the students, not leaving room for debate. His tone was so firm that they reluctantly scrambled for the exit without protest.

Yuji glanced back at you hesitantly. Concern was engraved in his expression. He mouthed, text me before shutting the door behind him. You and Gojo listened to their footsteps scurrying down the hall, and he didn’t turn toward you until he heard all of their doors click shut. The scarcity they left behind was apparent, and you were growing nervous about what he would say.

“Do you know anything about your family history?”

All you could do was shake your head.

“I had my suspicions that you were more powerful, but now I’m suspecting you’ve been chosen as a conduit. What happened during your episode is called an emergence.”

Your demeanor stiffened. “What does that mean?”

“It could mean a lot of things. There hasn’t been a seer of your potential for centuries. There’s definitely a mix of bloodlines happening, as Yuji is Sukuna’s vessel and can remain in control of his body. You on the other hand, the eldest daughter, might be a descendant of a long-defunct clan that hasn’t been in power since Sukuna’s defeat, which they helped aid in. You are clearly vulnerable when you’re recording your prophecies, and I believe the Sanskrit was one of your ancestors taking that opening. I only know that it could be a protection spell, but we should have it translated just to make sure.” He paused. "

“How do you know this?”

“It’s only a theory so far. But the gift of prophecy is yours alone. The words you wrote… Will come true, all things considered,” Gojo trailed off, losing his train of thought. He wanted to tell you what you’d shown him and that the students had clearly seen something. But he didn't move; he barely even breathed. Ruminating over how beautiful you looked in that vision almost stopped his heart. He wasn't trying to be funny or flirty. He looked just as concerned and embarrassed as you, wishing he had the answers as always. But it seemed that only more questions arose when it came to you.

Gojo’s body language seemed conflicted. Maybe you were more spot-on than you assumed.

“Won't they?” he pried.

“I hope not.” You glanced away, only remembering the words of demise, scribbled over and over again before a dead language emerged, further adding to the confusion of your connection to this life. If Gojo's prediction was correct, it would strengthen the hopeless feeling rising in your chest that your entire life was a lie. How you now looked at yourself was anything but satisfactory, unaware of the promise of a better future that Gojo glimpsed.

A gift, like he said, but also a curse that you would never wish upon another. Every day that passed made you question if foresight really was a blessing.

All Gojo could configure was how tired you looked. A lifetime of information had been dumped on you within an hour. Instead of being hard on you like he initially promised in that bar, he wanted to comfort you. But that defeated look in your eyes spoke volumes of what you really needed.

There was no rush. At least, not yet.

"Why don't you get some rest,” he whispered, standing up to peel the covers back for you. “I’ll find a translator later.”

Sighing deeply, you glanced up at him before relenting, letting him pull the covers over your body. You watched Gojo as he stacked your books on your bedside table, tidying up what had been misplaced.

A part of you wished he would stay. And perhaps he would have if you asked, but the second your head snuggled into your pillow, the world started to fade away.

"Thank you, Satoru," you whispered faintly.

"For what, princess?"

"Everything." Was all you mustered in your enervated state. You really wanted to thank him for his willingness to help you, for not abandoning you or being afraid. For taking care of your brother, for not giving up, and for making you feel butterflies in a world of darkness and despair.

Turning off the lamp on your bedside table, Gojo watched your eyes flutter shut. He leaned down and pressed a kiss against your forehead. You hummed in response, the corners of your lips upturning sleepily.

He wondered if you saw the future as he did, speculating whether or not you wished for his presence the way he did yours. Regardless, he failed to express that you could rely on him no matter what and that you would never have to suffer alone again.

That may be the most potent form of love he could provide.

∘∙∘☾𖤓∘∙∘

Tags :) @aetrimis @ihatethisbye @that-one-enthusiast @ti-mame @torusmochi @azgucci @getosfavmonkeyy @allisonbaelfire @gojoslefttoenail

#gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo satoru #jujustu kaisen

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slackerlifewhere · 10 hours

Text

The subtlety of Cale Henituse

SPOILERS for those who haven't finished the first part of the novel. If you don't like spoilers, please don't continue. Thanks!

- This is kind of a review about the novel but it's basically my analysis of Cale/KRS.

___

For someone who has trust issues with people, I first had an initial distrust with Cale Henituse/Kim Rok Soo as a reader.

I think it's because of how he was first introduced.

As a first-time reader of the novel back then, Cale/KRS was introduced as a very indifferent person. He was calm at the face of a sudden transmigration and acted like nothing could surprise him (aside from Ron and Choi Han). And of course, like anyone who was fooled, I also thought that he was selfish. He's not the trash that he thinks he is but he's selfish and I didn't place my full trust in him because I still didn't know him yet. And I like it that way. The author kept me on my toes and didn't force fed me a truckload of information about Kim Rok Soo.

Like I said in my previous post, he didn't actually give us his whole introduction. He left a few crumbs here and there that told us he didn't have a great childhood but it wasn't enough for me to build an image of him in my head. There were still some blanks and question marks about Kim Rok Soo.

Sure, there were moments when he gave a bigger tip to someone without blinking an eye and acting all smug about it but I really just thought that he was happy because he's finally rich. Or when he was being so polite and gentlemanly in front of an old man that Venion was disgusted with and then later on went back to being indifferent and I thought it was just him being extra petty and angry (which he was) at Venion for being an asshole. He's very quick to change from smug to indifference and it made me switch back and forth on how I see him as a person.

Yeah, you need to read between the lines when reading this novel.

[side note: Actually, If I remember correctly, I thought that I wouldn't like his character because I find it weird when MCs in KR manhwa and novels easily shrug off the isekai bullshit they're in. The influence of KR manhwa on me affected my opinion about him and it shows.]

So when he first met the kittens and Choi Han, I was reading it with the feeling of "Run away, guys! Run while you still can!" lingering at the back of my mind. He was nice to them, as much as he could with random strangers he just met, but he's very distant with them.

Another thing about him that makes it harder to understand him is because he's always distant with people. He relies on them and helps them but he's always at arms-length when dealing with them. This, if you didn't think of or was reminded of his thoughts about his abuse and pity, simply makes him look indifferent.

Before I continue, I don't like tsundere characters. I absolutely find them cringe and sometimes, I just wanna bash my head when they blush at the bs they're spouting at someone they like.

Because that's the thing with Cale. He is a tsundere. He says one thing and does the opposite. And he's so in denial about it which makes it more hilarious and sad.

He's subtle about it at first. He didn't even give me the vibe that he's more complex than what he shows because he's so quick to disprove my sudden epiphany that there's something deeper than what he's showing. He's so good at hiding his emotions EVEN WHEN I'M READING HIS POV.

This bastard is so in denial about himself that he fooled me so bad! I think I only realized it when he saved Raon but even then, there were still some doubts about his character. I liked his words to Raon and thought about how kind he is for giving the dragon the freedom of choice but because he later thinks of making Raon do things for him, it shook my trust in him just a little bit. Just a little, I promise.

...Maybe I just have major trust issues.

Taylor Stan

The weirdest thing to me that actually snapped me from my doubts that he's actually a kind person is oddly enough, because of Taylor Stan.

Remember when Taylor and Cage suddenly arrived at the area they were camping in and he finally talked to Taylor face to face? Yeah, he was indifferent there but it's when his tsundere traits actually exploded at my face.

He, while trying to hide from everyone, told them to give Taylor and Cage the best care and protection as if it's the most normal thing in the world.

Mind you, they don't even actually know him aside from OG Cale's reputation as trash. And he also technically isn't supposed to know them because, in the duo's POV, this is their first time meeting him so he didn't have to help or care for them.

He basically acted as if what he was doing was bad in their eyes but in reality, it's not???

He's just helping them and he's in denial about it? He's genuinely being a kind person and he thinks he's trash?

He later gives them money (and acts cool about it) and helps with smuggling (lmao) them to the Roan Kingdom so they can arrive there safely and he thinks he's trash???

He gave this man hope to finally heal himself and fight against his brother and he thinks he's trash?????

Seriously?

Self-hatred

I don't know if this is ever talked about but Cale is hiding a huge self-hatred about himself.

It's why whenever he calls himself trash, I shake my head because it's amusing but I also want to cry because, as I go further into the novel, he fully believes that he's actually trash.

At first, when he called himself trash, I thought it was because his soul is in OG Cale's body and thus, he inherited the title and uses it to cause chaos. It's a part of the reason why but, if I think about it, he doesn't have to call himself that??? He can still cause chaos without using that title.

It's why I think he fully believes it. That he's trash.

I didn't understand back then and thought it was just him loving the title and the chaos that comes along with it.

Him and his smirks or "selfish" ideals made it seem like he's fully embraced the title and liked it that way.

And the way the author hides a deeper meaning behind his words and actions is by making it feel humorous or comical. The author makes it feel extra.

We laugh and find it amusing because it's chaotic. The secrets behind those wild ideas and explosive destruction are brilliant and subtle.

It's why I fully believed back then, that it's a simple story about a man who just wants to cause mischief in a strange world.

And then...his past as Kim Rok Soo is finally revealed by the author.

And it suddenly turns all this humor about himself into a freaking tragedy.

Kim Rok Soo is a tragic character. He's a person who has lost far too much and can only react in indifference even when he's hurting. He's cold in another person's perspective because he doesn't cry when in front of those he lost.

He hates himself for something he couldn't control. He hates himself for being weak. He hates himself for a lot of things. And he hates the scars Kim Rok Soo has because they're the reminder of all his failures and all his sacrifices that only ended up with making him alone. Like he will always be alone. (Which makes his distant personality in the beginning make sense too wtf)

So he takes in their words of him being cruel enough not to cry in a funeral of his friends and fully believes it.

He believes, as Kim Rok Soo and Cale Henituse, that he's trash.

And it absolutely made me cry like a kid when he, as he woke up surrounded by those he befriended and could call family, finally cries with a smile.

This is the first time they and us readers see him cry and smile and it's just heartbreaking.

The whole lead up to this reveal was me seeing him as a tsundere and a freaking crazy bastard that utters "slacker life" like it's comic relief.

It's completely unexpected and I love it.

Because him crying and smiling for the first time is him finally shedding his shields and walls from these people who see him as a kind person.

Cale Henituse, for all his masks and secrets, is just a broken but endlessly kind person.

It's why those who meet him, trust him. His actions are a big reason why they trust him but his words, when it feels hopeless, are eye-opening and full of wisdom of a 36 year old man. He's straightforward in front of those he trusts and tells them something that flips over everything they think about the current situation. And he says it with the experience of Kim Rok Soo.

I believe the only times he lies to them is when he was given the thing that he was gonna use to stab himself and also when he hides his identity as Kim Rok Soo. There's actually a hint of his guilt sometimes...or maybe I'm just thinking too much about it.

Anyways, that's all my thoughts for now.

This subtle bastard made me cry, damn it.

___

That one scene of him crying and smiling is etched in my mind and was reminded of it when I recently saw a fanart. So I decided to write about my feelings about his character and personality.

It's not a mindblowing post or anything new and it goes from humor to angst pretty fast but I think it's just like him. If you analyze his words in one way, it's just hilarious but if you analyze it in another way, it's sad.

I like how the author wrote him. He's a crazy bastard and a tsundere (the only tsundere I'll ever like) and I'm so glad I found this novel.

#tcf #tcf cale #tcf novel #tcf manhwa #tcf spoilers #tcf cale henituse #lcf cale #cale henituse #trash of the count's family #lout of the count’s family #lcf manhwa #lcf #lcf novel #tcf taylor #lcf taylor #tcf taylor stan #tcf choi han #tcf raon #raon miru

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thissccounthatesfascists · 3 hours

Text

TL asleep? cool.

(long post, strap in)

i wanna talk about colin's wet dream. that was the most demisexual shit i have EVER seen. there's not even any sex. its just a romanticized, elevated version of their first kiss. its colin's subconscious wanting to replay the moment he fell in love with his best friend in the Most way possible.

lets break it down:

we got the same location of their first kiss. Complete with mood lighting and a fog machine. It’s giving pride and prejudice 2005

Penelope comes out (looking gorgeous, of course) to their rendezvous spot, which has been previously agreed on.

colin thanks her for meeting him, she doesn't know why he's asked her to come

he confesses his feelings for her

she reciprocates (this is the important part of this to me. ) her wanting him, makes him want her more (do you see where the demisexual colin energy is coming from? do you understand?)

they make out

he kisses her neck as she pants his name over and over (see my point above re: her wanting him makes him want her more)

he wakes up, absolutely shook

this is an idealized reimagining for colin: during their first kiss he was basically in shock, his new personality chokes on the reality and vulnerability of the moment

in the book he talks about how he tries to think of something witty to say but finds that no words are necessary, and there's no combination of witty banter or suave bravado that could help in that moment. the rake persona that he has put on up to this point absolutely fails him. but here, in this dream, words are crucial, the declarations of love are why its sexy! (demi colin is canon idc idc)

and its so important that this wet dream, the idealized version of this scenario happens like this. because we've also seen colin having sex with sex workers (and luke newton has talked about this) but his energy in those scenes is very detached, very focused on him and his pleasure with zero connection to the women he's with. he has two different threesomes (if you can even call the second one that, he's barely even looking at them) with four different women and we know nothing about these girls. they don't even get names. they don't matter, and its simply not. as. good. as the feeling of kissing pen. there is no connection

which is, i think, why he taps out during the threesome in ep4. he tries to go back to the devil-may-care attitude toward sex and intimacy that he had before kissing pen, he tries to return to that mask he put on of "the rake" and it just doesn't work! he feels nothing! in fact he feels disdain for the position he's in and the choices he's made!

the threesome in ep4 mirrors the outburst he has later at the club really well. like he's so frustrated with this position he's put himself in, the men he's surrounded himself with. he literally says "none of you are gentlemen!" "you're actually gross and disrespectful!"

a line that i love is :

"... it is tiring, is it not? The necessity imposed on us to remain cavalier about the one thing in life that holds genuine meaning. Do you not find it lonely?"

and they laugh! in! his! face! because these are men that feel perfectly fine sleeping with strangers and bragging about their "conquests" to their buddies

but that is not who colin is! he's still very young. and his experience with marina (who tried to seduce him and it didn't work, imo bc he just didn't feel that passion, that love that makes his relationship with penelope so different) has left him jaded, but not nearly as jaded as he wants to believe. even if he wants to be casual about romance and sex, he just isn't. this man proposed to marina after knowing her for what? a couple weeks? He is an All or Nothing type of guy. He has that Bridgerton 'when i fall in love i will only ever talk about my spouse' Gene

Now: some costuming details that i love:

Her hair:

(i know this is a stretch but go with me here) her hair is in slightly tighter curls than we've seen this season, which to me seems like a nod to colin liking (or at least not minding) her hair the way it was in previous seasons and maybe not caring as much as we might think about her transformation. but its still down and flowy and in line with her new style

let's talk about this! dress! (it has genuinely been keeping me up at night)

the sleeves seem much more similar to the silhouettes of her costumes in previous seasons, not necessarily in shape but in style

the sleeves are bulkier, compared to this season's costumes, which while they might have been the same size and shape, they are made of much lighter material, giving the silhouette a softer, more mature feeling.

compare it to this dress from s3 ep2: it looks very similar with the sleeve shape and the floral appliqués, but in the dress in the image above, the appliqués are much more obvious, closer to penelope's style under her mother's tastes

the point i'm trying to make here will be made more clear in a sec. what I am NOT trying to say that colin prefers her in her little girl dresses with loud designs, bright colors, and silly hairdos. he just associates those bigger, brighter, louder style choices with penelope.

And he has always liked Penelope. Even when he didn’t take her seriously as a potential partner, he always saw her as an equal. He never made fun of her silly dresses and questionable hair choices.

This has nothing to do with Colin but i feel like i should point it out:

there is something to be said about how her muted pastel color palette along with the more demure style that she has adopted shows that she is trying to Show Up with this social season, but as a wallflower, she is shy. she's always hated those brightly colored dresses her mother put her in, because no matter how close to the wall she clung, she was always visible. she was always vulnerable to ridicule.

but i don't think colin knows or realizes this because why would he think critically about the specific style changes she's made. and he probably doesn't really make the connection of the influence her mother has on her clothing. and around him, pen has never seemed all that shy. she's been confident and witty. if you pair her personality that shines around colin with her louder outfits, it seems more congruous

(take the scene from season 2 where we get the line "My purpose shall set me free") this is a side of penelope that no one, not even eloise!, sees

what his subconscious knows is that he associates pen with vibrant, textured, and often 3-dimensional outfits, and his subconscious creates a dress that fits her new style, with a little more of that featherington flair thrown in.

the fucking tie in front: i feel like this is a very clear reference/ foreshadowing to the mirror scene

for those of you who haven't read the book, the mirror scene doesn't actually happen, but colin tells penelope about a fantasy he has about touching her in front of a mirror

this is a pretty small offhand comment made while they're having sex for the first time but amongst book fans the scene has become pretty fleshed out i think, with fanfics especially

because the idea that it touches on is colin fantasizing about penelope seeing herself the way he does, as sexy and desirable (he seriously cares about her pleasure so much its sickening, I'm actually sick)

and although Book Colin doesn't mention it, the idea of him undressing her in front of a mirror has become a popular story set-up

i think the tie in the front sort of plays on the time period sensibilities of propriety: this is a time where in "good" society an unmarried man and woman would never touch skin to skin, its why all the women wear gloves most of the time. its why the scenes in season 1 between daphne and simon play on the excitement of removing the gloves: its a taboo thing

this is unrelated to this post but i need an explanation as to why pen isn't wearing gloves in a lot of her scenes this season, like the scandal that that would cause??? I'm assuming its representative of her growing into her sexuality; and bridgerton is a fantasy, not a historical nonfiction, but like some consistency would be nice guys bc i was so confused abt all the skin-on-skin contact happening. even with Francesca and Lord Samadani WHEN HE KISSES HER BARE HAND I WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE FOR HER. especially because of all the glove-related tension in s1. but i digress.

so the tie in front is sort of a dare. even though its clearly an addition, and untying wouldn't actually remove her dress, its her (colin's subconscious version of her anyway) way of saying: "you could untie this, you could undress me if you wanted to" "i love you" "i want you"

and i think that's beautiful. this season is great and i will die on this hill.

If you've made it this far, congrats! you're just as feral as me! come and gnaw on the drywall with me while i post fanfics inspired by this season: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55988977/chapters/142190584

chapters 1+2 of my new fic are up

photos are from : https://www.cap-that.com/bridgerton/302/index.php?image=bridgerton3x02_1502.jpg

#colin bridgerton #bridgerton #bridgerton spoilers #penelope featherington coded #polin #bridgerton season 3 #bridgerton s3 #bridgerton meta #costume design #demisexuality #demisexual representation #demisexual colin bridgerton #bridgerton season 3 analysis #romancing mister bridgerton #romancing mr. bridgerton #adaptation analysis #some historical context analysis as a treat for me specifically

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oodlyenough · 3 days

Text

ohh steven moffat lmao

(boom spoilers)

me last week: i hope we get to see ruby rise to the occasion and get her big moment, we're four eps in. the doctor stepping on a landmine could be it!

this ep: she fucking dies halfway through the episode fekhadlflkg

actually, i mostly liked it fine -- i thought the plot held together ok and was pretty interesting. after the last few eps i wanted something heavier and this delivered. the tension was pretty good. "they're fighting themselves to death bc capitalism" and "thoughts and prayers" are both on the nose, but i didn't mind. i don't know 15 and ruby well enough yet to feel particularly strongly about how they're written or their dynamic with each other, so none of that particularly bothered me. there were a few moments that felt very Clara Oswald to me, but not really in a way that made me think "that's not Ruby!"

the doctor was a very moffat doctor lol -- i liked seeing ncuti get some more dramatic dialogues and some anger etc we haven't seen much of from him yet. his impatience with ruby at the end felt off and was the kind of thing that used to make me bonkers in the moffat era, so disappointed but not shocked to see it crop up here. also "snow isn't snow until it falls" classic moffat line that means nothing but sounds pseudo deep. almost nostalgic

my other nitpick with pacing is that if you're gonna have an ep heavily rely on a countdown you should try to do it in real time. having monday (mundi? munday? idk) say "about 3 minutes" and then have a 3 minute conversation with another guy cracked me up lol. keep it vague if you're not gonna follow it!

but ruby dying was stupid as hell, imo, and is the one thing i have trouble overlooking. i feel like maybe we could've reworked some things... she gets shot later in the ep during the countdown and is injured/dying but then is healed, something like that. i'm not opposed to companion in peril, all things being equal, but when you kill and revive characters so often death stops meaning anything and it's episode 4 and i feel like i'm relitigating shit from 2013 again. real ones who've been following me for a decade know

but the trailer for the next ep made it look like i might finally be getting my ruby-focused ep so i am hyped!!

#dw spoilers #doctor who

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batsplat · 11 hours

Note

Your post about sete/vale rivalry is literally so informative it's like a pivotal post to fully understand the way valentino's mind works. You're his friend just up to the point you are not (mainly after perceived crimes not backed up by any real proof apparently). Valentino literally turbodivorced every guy he was friendly with in the paddock (and the irony of two of those turbodivorces happening in the same place isn't lost on me)

I did do my best to keep marc out of that post and let the parallels speak for themselves but like. yes

what's interesting to me about this rivalry is that it's... kind of his first rodeo. I mean he'd obviously had rivals before and a feud and all that and him and biaggi were constantly *gestures* - but one of the most common complaints about valentino is that he switches up towards you when you actually become a serious threat. which!! I still fully believe to some extent is natural, this is sports, they're competing, and I take more seriously with some of valentino's victims than with others. (melandri is always the one where I'm a bit? valentino no offence but why would you bother, in 2005 there wasn't a title fight and in 2006 valentino actually got on really well with two of the four other main contenders and at the very least didn't actively have a problem with dani. so maybe just a melandri problem question mark.) but I do feel like sete was... maybe not the first, but the first that was this extreme. and, very much topic for another post, but he really does learn a lot from the sete rivalry. a lot of the tactics and performance art and all of that, how he uses all of it to demoralise his enemies - this rivalry was kinda the blueprint

but, at the same time, of course it was a different valentino that marc ended up fighting, and not just in terms of how fast and competitive valentino was at that stage of his career. this is something that's quite hard to get across sometimes, because the natural inclination is to just... look at all the past instances in which valentino was a dick and conclude that he has, in fact, always been a dick. but he wasn't just statically malevolent for a twenty plus year career, and it's important to... reinsert context to assess how he developed as a rider and as a character during that time. it's not twenty non-stop years of valentino feuding. and marc is facing a valentino who had inevitably changed as a result of years of injury and poor results on a poor bike. valentino was pretty open in 2012 that he was returning to yamaha after two years on a donkey of a bike to, y'know, see if he was still fast, if he still had it in him - because he genuinely did not know (stop me if this reminds you of anyone more recently). he was so frustrated in 2013 with constantly finishing in fourth place that he took the truly radical step of firing his crew chief jb. one more try, one more change up to see if he could still be fast

it was only in 2014, where, okay he was losing to marc, but he could feel that he was competitive again, he could semi-regularly beat jorge and dani at the very least... then comes misano and he beats marc in a direct fight, draws an error out of him, gets him to crash, and marc shows up at his ranch and manages to strongly signal that he does actually really want to beat valentino. and that, in a way, shows that he was beginning to take valentino seriously as a competitor again (which I would suggest he wasn't doing at the end of 2013). that's something that's easy to miss about the ranch episode: yes, it's notable how much they were treating each other like hardened rivals, but it was also notable they were doing so in 2014, given the kind of season marc was having. maybe it truly was the worst possible timing. maybe it truly was the race in misano that made both of them go. hey. this really could be happening

but it's still a humbled version of valentino, it's still a version of valentino who has already kind of had to make his peace with the fact his time might very much be over. to me, in a way it's more dramatically satisfying if he did make peace with it, if he was more or less all right with marc making the sport his own. okay, there's always going to be a little bit of bitterness, a little bit of envy... because he wished he could still do what marc was doing, of course he did. but by the end of 2013, he knew it was more likely than not he would never be involved in another title fight. he thought his career might be ending after the 2014 season. he told the world if he wasn't competitive in the early races in 2014 then that would be that, and I think he meant it

there was no guarantee he'd have a season like 2015 - sure, he was working harder than ever and making radical personnel choices, all in the hope he still had something more to give... but he didn't know it would happen. it was really really unlikely!! there's a giddiness to him in early 2015, almost like he couldn't quite believe himself he'd get that chance. and then, yes, he does withdraw from marc, he does go back into title fight mode... but relatively speaking, this is still a more agreeable version of valentino. this is still a version of valentino who is determined to not start shit with jorge - it's odd to watch, but in those 2015 pressers valentino is constantly engaging him in conversation, at a time in which the marc chatter was already dropping off pretty sharpish

(incidentally, I think vale was proper pissed off at how jorge reacted to the whole sepang thing and how jorge was angry with valentino, which is very funny to me. like at catalunya 2016 vale's going!! I actually made an effort with this bitch!! I was nice to him for three years, does that count for nothing??)

valentino also doesn't blow shit up over assen, even though by his standards marc should be giving him plenty of reason to. he's definitely cooled off towards marc, but he's still giving him the benefit of the doubt where he wouldn't have done so with past rivals - which, yes, I do think partly reflects how he felt about marc, but also reflects how he was approaching that year and that phase of his career as a whole. he didn't really want drama; he wasn't really looking for any distractions from the actual title fight. which doesn't mean that he wasn't already changing his behaviour towards his competitors in response to the demands of the season - it's just a question of the extent. here from a write-up of assen 2015 (I don't entirely agree on the point of the effectiveness of valentino's mind games, though I do agree - like valentino himself does - with the general idea that most of the work needs to be done on-track):

in the end, he cracked. I guess that's what generally happens when you put someone under that kind of pressure - you make them revert to type. valentino wasn't arrogant or entitled or over-confident in that season, he was desperate. he'd been given this unexpected chance and he was throwing everything he had into making it work. body, mind, soul, all of it, wringing himself out in pursuit of this dream. he could feel it slipping away at several points that season... that four race jorge win streak where he led every single lap and it was kind of like? okay, you just can't do anything about that. valentino can't match that, not at this stage of his career. or brno, after which they were level on points and jorge led on countback and it just felt like valentino so obviously had a consistent pace deficit that surely this could only go one way. all these moments where it felt like it might actually be over, in the least dramatic way imaginable. in many ways, this wasn't really a title fight that should ever have been so close - and it's to valentino's credit as a rider, his versatility and willpower, that he was even able to push things as far as he did. but he did know he was hanging on by a thread, and he ended up playing the last hand he felt he had available

obviously, it wasn't really rational calculation that made him do what he did in sepang - though there probably was an element of, y'know, might as well. but he believed he detected a pattern of behaviour in marc - not entirely incorrectly, because it did feel like marc approached his battles with valentino differently - and fashioned himself a conspiracy on the basis of it. he hoped it could change the momentum one last time; he decided to make one final roll of the dice. and then, of course, marc reacted in a way that has ensured valentino will never stop believing in his conspiracy theory. because of course marc did, because of course he never would have taken it lying down. because valentino knew from the moment marc engaged him in that battle at sepang that it was almost certainly all over, because he lost his temper - which usually helps him, except when it doesn't. because they both lost their tempers and ended up just wanting to hurt each other, to prove a point. because that's who they both are

the main point I'm trying to make here is kind of.... it's just how I personally read the sete stuff - yes, these are the same patterns of behaviour, yes, a lot of parallels do obviously present themselves. I've long felt that sete is the single most significant valentino feud to understanding what happened with marc. he's the only other one who valentino was friends with, the only other one valentino felt hurt by on a personal level, the only other one who valentino changed his behaviour towards from one day to the next. and I think under the right circumstances, if you give valentino enough of an excuse and enough of a prize to aim for and have planted enough seeds of suspicion in advance... you can get this situation where the competitive paranoia takes control and he buys into this whole betrayal narrative and he decides he needs to go nuclear. and it also gave him a script to follow - one he knew could work because it had. except of course it could have gone very wrong in 2004 too. what happens if he's so desperately determined to ruin sete that he bins it in phillip island and finds himself only barely ahead in the points going into the title decider? compare that race to phillip island 2009 - obviously, there's a sizeable difference between the level of opposition (especially at that circuit) and the '09 race probably wasn't winnable, but he still ends up eventually deciding to settle for second behind casey because he doesn't want to risk losing the championship to jorge. he's not casey's biggest fan either, but he never came close to losing his head fighting him. it's different. he might do some of his finest riding when he's angry, but where there's anger there's also volatility. and, on occasion, there's also some really bad choices

if 2004 is the moment where he's properly learning to play these games, then 2015 is him falling back on these tools when he really had basically discarded them. it'd been five years since he'd engaged in mind games in earnest (I know him and casey were constantly at it in 2011-12, but whatever the hell that was about, whatever part of their psyches they were appeasing there, it obviously had fuck all to do with on-track competition). that's a long time! there's a 2014 interview where he's asked about his work on the 'mental side' against his rivals:

the first thing he immediately stresses is that there's zero point in doing any of this if you're not fast enough on-track to back it up. if you are fast, sure, you can do some off-track 'work', especially if you know it makes your rivals suffer :) but it won't have the same effect without the on-track performance. so even if we want to say valentino hadn't mellowed post-2012, even if he hadn't grown one jot humbler in his heart of hearts, even if he wasn't swayed by any genuine fondness for marc, he still knew the maths just didn't work out in his favour with his current opponents. he couldn't deploy his favourite tactics against jorge because jorge insisted on spending the entire season either two spots ahead or three spots behind valentino, and the off-track stuff just can't work if you're never sharing space on-track. it could and did work against marc, but he wasn't trying to score psychological victories against marc! certainly not by the time they reached assen and marc was basically out of that title fight. so there wouldn't have been any point in trying to fuck with either of them in that way off-track and, well, it could easily backfire. which is something valentino understood perfectly well until they were 88.9% of the way through the season, and then he changed his mind at what was almost the very last possible moment. which I think speaks to how desperate valentino was to make a mistake like he did at sepang: he felt it was all he had left to try

the other way in which marc comes into this whole thing is that.... I mean, he knew about all this stuff! this is the thing right, maybe he wasn't watching the sepang 2004 press conference as an eleven year old and later going 'huh' but broadly speaking, he will obviously have been aware of how this went down, qatar controversy and all of it. he's sitting right there in that jerez 2015 presser when valentino is asked about sete and in response valentino says sete played 'dirty games'. he's obviously aware of the whole jerez 2005 situation, not least because he copied valentino's overtake in his third ever premier class race. which in turn sete was watching unfold, and is still having thoughts about in 2023:

so it's kind of... y'know, you've got marc, you've got someone who's still very much the heir apparent despite all the drama between him and valentino. if you're sete, do you look at marc and see somebody who valentino hurt in similar ways to what he did to you, or do you look at marc and see another version of valentino? do you see both? it's again that thing of, if you have a problem with some of valentino's more aggressive riding then you will definitely have a problem with marc. because of course marc is the escalation, because valentino generally picked his moments a bit more and adjusted his levels of aggression more to the situation, whereas marc is mostly just Like That. so sure, if you're sete gibernau you can look at marc and see another one of valentino's victims, but at the end of the day you're also going to see his legacy

and this from 2017:

not an original thing to say obviously, half of motogp has said it at one point or another. but. still. meaningful to me!

that tension between 'fellow valentino rival' and 'valentino's successor' is imo inherent to the jerez pass situation, because (along with laguna seca) it's an example of marc actively inserting himself into valentino's legacy. and the thing is, right, these aren't just neutral fun passes that everyone remembers because they looked cool: they're the biggest flashpoints of their respective feuds. marc did to jorge what valentino did to sete - and then he did the most valentino thing imaginable and went to jorge when he must have known jorge would still be furious, making him publicly reject his handshake and starting up a whole lot of discourse™ that would take forever to die down. marc knew immediately how controversial what he did would be and was completely at home in the chaos. it's not just the pass that does valentino proud, it's the shamelessness

while that race might not have had the same repercussions as '05, at the end of the day you do have to remember that those passes have a lot of baggage and controversy attached that marc is also making himself a part of. in the case of laguna, it's valentino addressing livio suppo in the presser because of all the grief suppo and casey had given valentino over the '08 overtake. in the case of the jerez pass, it's sete talking about how alienated he is by this whole approach to riding that marc so completely embodies. and the whole thing has come up quite a few times since 2013, because everyone loves bringing up last corner passes at least once a year when they show up again at jerez

so for instance we have this clip from 2016 (fourth race of the season, vibes still in hell), where the riders are asked whether they'd prefer to be in first, second or third position heading into that final corner. not all too much to say about this one, really. jorge, who it seems has at long last learned his lesson about what to do when you've got a lunatic sitting on your rear wheel headed into the final corner of a race, stresses that he'd protect the inside line - not least because these two fuckers would dive on the inside through the grass if you give them half a chance. also, decent gag from marc! good on him. not always easy for those who have decided they hate him so much so that they refuse to laugh at anything he says

then we have this from 2017 - where sete is in the room - asking four riders who they'd want to arrive at jerez's final corner with. three guys give pretty boring answers, though you'll note in 2017 valentino does actually mention his battle with sete (*gestures with his head in sete's direction*) in the same breath as the one between "marc and jorge". those three boring answers are followed by a great response courtesy of jorge. the question doesn't actually specify, but obviously jorge immediately zeroes in on valentino and marc since they are. you know. the two guys with a history of doing last corner jerez crimes. and they're also two confirmed lunatics, though jorge believes that valentino at least might be a little less reckless now that he's a little older. hey, maybe even marc has become 3% more sensible at the advanced age of 24 (funnily enough, vale when making that overtake in '05 was two years older than marc is in this clip). it's a sweet moment - but, without wanting to belabour the obvious, it's also another way of showing how irrevocably linked both the passes and the blokes executing them are. both valentino and marc are 'hard brakers', to put it lightly. two peas in a pod, from a man who would know

we do also of course get sete reacting to valentino's answer. idk what this facial expression is but I sure am compelled by it (thank u to dani pedrosa for working with sete in 2017 so that we'd get live sete reaction shots. I am very grateful)

okay so those two I included because. well it's just kind of neat and fun that this is a parallel they won't ever escape. linked legacies and all that. but I am actually building up to a point here, and it's to do with how even post-2015, it's not like marc is always overflowing with sympathy and compassion for valentino's other victims. he knows his lore! he will know at least the general details of the sete relationship and how it deteriorated and what valentino did to him afterwards! so let's bring in austria 2017, a time at which the vibes between the two of them aren't actually. catastrophic. exhibit a:

so in this presser, valentino is asked if his overtake on jorge at catalunya '09 is the favourite of his career, and he says it was special because it was the last corner - he can't remember any other examples of him making a last corner overtake in the premier class. at which point marc taps valentino to point out sete:

youtube

the expression marc makes in the thumbnail - that's how he looks when he's eagerly waiting for valentino to put two and two together. the thing is, right, this whole feuding business, the way valentino treated his rivals, how he was pretty awful to them... all of it will have been stuff that marc actively enjoyed as a fan. and even post-2015, when marc has experienced some of the very worst valentino has to offer, marc still finds the whole jerez thing pretty funny, not just the overtake but what it meant for the relationship between valentino and sete. he makes valentino aware of sete in the room, because of course he would never forget valentino's greatest hits. like, remember why this exchange is funny: everybody knows this overtake was a super controversial thing and a big source of tension between the two of them and valentino's forgotten about it. and marc's laughing at this!! in 2017!! "after we have a bit problems" and marc thinks it's hilarious!! buddy

one more presser moment, from 2019. just a bit of context here - earlier in the presser they were asked about dani getting a corner named after him at jerez and valentino went 'yeah good for him but I wouldn't want a corner named after me !!' and marc talked about how he'd gotten a corner at aragon named after him the year before. so now, the riders are asked what their favourite bit of the jerez circuit is. the joke here goes a) marc says 'last corner' the way he does because everyone knows he did a terrorism there, b) jack miller says 'you mean jorge lorenzo corner' because everyone knows it's funny marc did a terrorism on jorge there like a day after jorge got the corner named after him, and c) marc says 'it's valentino corner' because everyone knows his move was copying the move valentino did on sete. and... 'valentino corner'... first of all why would you do this to your literal teammate jorge lorenzo... but again the whole reason this exchange is funny is because the premise is that they did the same thing, valentino to sete and marc to jorge. implicitly, it's making the link between the pair of them and how they terrorised their rivals in the same way. still. in 2019

speaking of legacies, there's a moment in the 2016 catalunya presser where valentino is asked how that duel compares to his past duels in 2007 and 2009 at that circuit (notice the blatant and unchallenged sete erasure - 2004 and 2005 were really great but okay). and valentino says he counts it on the same level as the jorge fight - "was three great battles with three great opponents". which, y'know, I really love 2016, I think it's fantastic, but marc makes a mistake on the penultimate lap and denies us the most dramatic of finales. like I think it's completely reasonable and nice for valentino to count it in that same camp as the 2009 duel, but I also think it wouldn't have been crazy or disrespectful or anything if he'd gone 'yeah that was great but not quite the same thing'. this definitely might be reading too much into it (surely not) but given how valentino has since occasionally left marc out of the rivalries list, said he wasn't his toughest rival etc etc, I do think it's kinda notable that during that moment of 'reconciliation', valentino allowed marc to be part of his legacy - even if it's just in a small way. 'great valentino catalunya battles' is a pretty cool group of races to be a part of, y'know? the infamous overtakes, the duels, these are the things people remember. these are the things marc remembered, as valentino's fan - inevitably, it'll mean something to him. it's a legacy he wants to be a part of, by fighting valentino, by emulating valentino, and sometimes valentino lets him and sometimes he'd rather leave marc out in the cold. you'll note that in 2019 he doesn't really engage with the "valentino corner" gag from marc and instead goes with the far more neutral turn 5 as his own pick

in the very very immediate aftermath of sepang (aka december 2015), marc did openly make the comparison between himself and valentino's other rivals:

and it's informed his whole approach since then - it's a big part of why he's tried to be quiet about the drama with valentino over the years. he knows how valentino behaves towards his rivals, he always has. he knows he can't beat valentino off-track... but (beyond his undeniable mental resilience) he's just fortunate enough that with his talent and the way their career windows have overlapped, more often than not he's been able to out-perform valentino on the track. and y'know, it's an interesting element to the whole thing I feel... marc was a fan of valentino's for a lot of reasons - he was very much a fan of the complete package, if you will. including what valentino did to his enemies! it's not like that aspect of vale was some kind of closely guarded secret; it was like a top three valentino rossi talking point for years and years. (part of the subtext of assen 2015 is marc not really enjoying being on the receiving end of one of those classic valentino scam wins, when marc had been intending to do that to valentino.) again, those overtakes of valentino's weren't just famous because they were cool, they were famous because they helped valentino fuck with his rivals. it's not just about emulating his on-track aggression, it's about emulating how valentino did his best to get in his rivals' heads. when we talk about marc 'being a fan' of valentino, then it shouldn't be ignored that this involved marc being a fan of what an absolute and utter asshole valentino was. and like with all things relating to valentino, I'd wager marc has pretty complicated feelings about this. at the end of the day that's also part of his make up as a rider... but it also really burnt him personally...

it's almost like an identification thing, isn't it. if you're marc and you're thinking about valentino's past rivalries, whose shoes are you placing yourself in? in many ways it should be valentino's rivals, because of course some of their experiences mirror marc's. and there's a rare moment in the winter of 2015, when he's still in the process of trying to make sense of everything that's happened, where he does make the connection. but apart from that, he's shied away from it - even when he's criticising valentino, he's generally not framing what valentino did to marc as indicative of some broader character flaw. it's casey and jorge who explicitly make that link, not marc. he's still kind of... idk, separating that out. obviously, marc would far rather be valentino's successor than another one of valentino's victims, even if he hasn't really been given a choice in the matter and has ended up being both. I don't really have any evidence to back this up, but my guess is that deep down he feels like what valentino did to him was different from what he did to those other guys. and in some ways he's right and in some ways he's wrong

unfortunate, isn't it. you're a fan of somebody with a reputation for fucking with his enemies, which is fun and neat and you kinda want to copy how he does it - maybe put your own spin on the whole thing but you're still into the general vibe. you enter the sport at a time when you can still fight your hero, but he's kinda washed and he's too old to be starting new feuds (*bzzzzt!!* incorrect! you are never too old to start feuds) so there's no real danger. and you share a bond you think on some level is different from whatever those other guys had going on, even sete gibernau, whoever tf that is. and then you become real rivals and realise how extremely not enjoyable it is to be losing to him yourself and you really want to show him and maybe you do push it a little far along the way. but it'll be okay. it's all fine... until he decides it's time to destroy you. and on one level you do obviously see the parallels because you're not an idiot... but on the other hand, none of that stuff, none of what he did to those other guys - it wasn't ever going to stop you from being a fan of his. it's the bits he did to you that are the problem. and at the end of the day, you'll never quite be able to let go of the twelve year old boy inside of you who found jerez 2005 really, really cool

anyway

#anitalianfrie #rosquez #//#sg15 #4693 #society if tumblr allowed you to upload more than one video per post >>>>#I hate how speculative the last few paragraphs are. badly sourced psychological analysis but well #this wasn't actually meant to be a sepang 2015 post bUT this was a follow-up post waiting to be written lbr. give me an excuse etc #anyway this post is incredibly incoherent but. shrug. idk how to fix it so whatever #i've seen a few posts here that slightly have the tone of 'oh if only marc had known how valentino behaved towards casey stoner'#listen. he did know. he probably thought it was fantastic. idk what to tell you #you'll note the dec 2015 quote implies casey 'lost' the off-track battle with valentino which I'm not sure casey would be a massive fan of #marc and vale both had a bit of a case of not like other girls about each other and y'know in a way that's still true. just in a sadder way

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fictional-love-is-my-life · 1 day

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Hi hi request time

Optimus x reader

The reader is a librarian and works at the local library. There she met a guy named Orion( optimus in holo form as a secret experiment of dwelling among humans) and often talked to him about things. She is also a part of team prime and has a huge crush on Optimus but never approaches him for obvious reasons. So she confines with Orion about her feelings for optimus and makes him aware of her feelings for which he feels guilty and starts to see her in a different light

Now comes another guy into the picture

I want u to make Optimus jealous as hell enough to make him confess his feelings with a passionate kiss which will cause her to faint in his arms.

Ps: make him panic as she faints in his arms and later being chewed out by Rachet as it seems he has broken her by that kiss

Optimus was unsure where to go in the human town. He'd driven through a few times, but now that he was of the appropriate size to enter buildings, he didn't know which one to go to. There were just so many and he didn't want to get it wrong.

Perhaps it was luck or fate, but he found his way to a large building with a sign posted above labeling it saying 'Public Library'. He may not know a lot about human things, but he at least knows what a library is. He also knows someone who works there.

He entered and instantly saw you sitting at the desk. Your familiar face instantly soothed his unease about being in unfamiliar territory. He walked over to the desk about to greet you as he would normally back at the base. You looked up and spotted him.

"Hi, how can I help you today?" You smiled sweetly. You had not seen this man before, you wondered if perhaps he was new to town.

It took Optimus only a second to remember he was wearing a different face, you did not know what his holoform looked like, so it made sense that you did not recognize him. He was about to explain it was him, Optimus. But then remembered Ratchet telling him not to tell anyone. They didn't need anyone recognizing their holoforms as it could ruin their cover.

"Just browsing." Optimus smiled back.

"Let me know if you need any help finding something." You said, then got back to your duties.

Optimus was happy to see you, you were always so kind and helpful. He wandered around the library for a little, reading through a few that looked interesting. Mostly about Earth's history, or politics. Eventually, he found his way back to your desk.

"Find everything you were looking for?" You asked.

"Actually, I was wondering, if you could recommend something." Optimus asked.

"Sure, what genre are you looking for?"

"What's your favorite?"

"Oh that's a tough one." You laughed. "There are so many good choices. But let's see." You walked away from the desk, walking through the shelves of books. You scanned over each book until you found one.

"Here. I think this is a pretty good one for someone who is open to anything." You handed over the book. Optimus took the book from your hand gently.

"Thank you."

You smiled and headed back to your desk. Optimus found a seat and began reading. After many years of being a clerk, Optimus was a very fast reader. And a couple of hours later, he was done. He took the book back over to you.

"This was a great recommendation, I enjoyed it." Optimus stated.

"You're done already?" You were shocked. Optimus nodded. "Wow, you read faster than I do. Uhm, I am glad you liked it. This author has a few more if you like."

"Thank you." Optimus chuckled. He had never been complimented on his reading ability before.

"What's your name?" You asked. Optimus had a slight panic, unable to think of any human names.

"Orion."

"Nice to meet you. Are you new to town?" You greeted.

"I am. I just moved here. What about you?" Optimus tried to direct the conversation back to you, hoping it would stop you from asking too many questions.

"No, I've been here my whole life." You answered.

"Do you enjoy working here?"

"I do. I love books and reading, so this is pretty much a dream job for me. What do you do?"

"I'm a clerk," Optimus replied, using some semi-truth as he used to be. So he didn't feel like he was lying to you. "What else do you do around here?"

"I generally spend time with my friends after work."

Optimus wondered if you were talking about him and the other Autobots. Or perhaps some human friends he didn't know about.

"Well it was really nice to meet you, but I'm afraid I have to close up." You apologized.

"Of course. Have a good night." Optimus left and headed back to base. It wasn't long until you arrived at the base as well. Optimus smiled as he saw you, he wanted to talk to you about the book he read. But he knew he had to keep his holoform activities a secret.

For the next week, Optimus kept going to the library, reading books that you suggested. Then he would go to the front desk to discuss them with you. He enjoyed your time together and found that you both had a lot more in common than he originally thought.

Once again he entered the library, your happy face bringing a smile to his.

"You look very happy today." He commented as you seemed much chipper than before.

"Oh, well I guess I am." You giggled.

"May I ask why?" Optimus was intregued. He had spoken to you yesterday in his bot form, about other things. But you seemed like your normal self. And now you seem a lot more bubbly.

"Well, uh. It's this guy that I like. I spent ages with him yesterday, and it was just a really good time. It was so nice to spend some time with him and talk to him. It's kind of rare getting alone time with him, so it was amazing." You explained. Optimus wondered who you were talking about, and who was the mystery guy you enjoyed spending time with.

"That sounds like a pleasant time. Is this someone you are fond of?" Optimus was intrigued to know more about someone who could make you grin so much. You blushed in response.

"I guess you could say that yes. I really like him, you could say I have a little crush on him." You brushed some hair behind your ear, a nervous habit. The thought of your crush makes you blush more. "It's kind of funny, and a coincidence really but his name begins with O too."

Optimus thought about it, it must really be a coincidence that you knew so many people with an O name. Then it began to click, was it possible you meant him. Maybe, but he had to be sure.

"What's he like?" Optimus asked.

"Tall, smart, he's a wise leader that takes care of his friends and looks out for everyone. Really trustworthy and just someone you can look up to." You sighed, picturing Optimus as the tall bot you knew.

Optimus blushed, he didn't know you viewed him like that. Or that you felt that way about him, but he felt flattered. He could see the way you smiled as you thought about him, and it made him feel warm and happy.

"Have you thought about telling him?"

"Oh no, I couldn't! I don't think he feels the same way, and I don't want to ruin anything." You admitted. "I am content just being around him."

Optimus thought you were so sweet, and they way you blushed when you talked about him was cute.

"Anyway, would you like another book recommendation?" You asked, changing the subject.

"Yes, please."

Later that night, at base Optimus couldn't keep his eyes off you. He kept thinking about how you felt, and how guilty he felt that he knew, but you could never know. Optimus watched you more closely, watching the way your face lit up when you saw him, the way you fidgeted with your clothes when you spoke to him. They way you sounded happier and livelier when you spoke to him than with the other bots. It was all adorable. As he watched you and listened to your voice and your lovely laugh, his spark began to tingle. His frame heated up, in a Cybertronian form of a blush. He had to excuse himself to calm himself down. It didn't take long for him to realize he was starting to have feelings for you.

The next day at the library he saw you again, your bright smiling face illuminated the room and made him enamored. He wanted to say something but couldn't. He couldn't tell you who he was. He was worried telling you who he was after all this time may upset you, as it may seem like he was lying to you this whole time. And he did not want to upset you.

Optimus walked straight over to the books, distracting himself with trying to find something to read. He wanted to talk to you, but he knew talking to you would make his spark beat fast. Optimus grabbed a random book and took it, going to use it as an excuse to start a conversation. Then he heard you laugh, a loud joyful laugh that made him feel fuzzy and warm. He smiled and walked to the front, only to find you talking to another human male.

The man was leaning on the desk, talking to you. You laughed as he spoke. Optimus felt a rush of jealousy, something he had not felt for many years. At first, he was not going to do or say anything, he knew how you felt about him. The human male could not sway your mind so easily. But then the man touched your shoulder and tried to lean in towards you. Optimus quickly scurried over and began pulling you away.

"Orion? Is everything ok?" You asked as you were dragged from the desk towards the back of the library.

Optimus thought about the words he was about to say, wanting it to be perfect.

"I want to apologize, I had to keep this a secret to make sure my cover was safe. And that you would be kept safe from not knowing. But I can't keep it secret anymore. I have to tell you because I have to tell you how I feel. It is me, Optimus, this is my holoform. I'm sorry I have deceived you, but I have to tell you now because I want you to know that I have come to be very fond of you. Over these last few weeks I have seen you in a brighter light, you have shown me how truly beautiful and amazing you are and I have fallen for you." Optimus then gently cupped your face in his hands and pulled you forward into a loving and passionate kiss.

He pulled back to see your shocked face. A split second later you fainted, falling into his arms. Optimus caught you, slowly lowering you to the floor. He panicked, having no idea what happened. He was terrified he had done something wrong and hurt you. He quickly picked you up and rushed outside, to his truck mode. He placed you inside and quickly raced you back to base. He quickly transformed, asking Ratchet to look you over, as he gently held you in his servos.

You were still unconscious while Ratchet demanded to know what happened and what Optimus did to cause you to be unconscious. Ratchet's telling off made Optimus feel worse about the situation. He should have known better than to ambush you like that.

Eventually, you woke up. Coming too on an empty berth with Optimus sitting by your side. He smiled as he watched you open your eyes.

"Did you confess to me?" You asked, your voice quiet as you slowly came to.

"I did." Optimus admitted, feeling guilty. "I am sorry. I shouldn't have."

"No, I am glad you did. And I am glad I didn't just dream it." You sat up, now fully awake. You scooched closer to Optimus and placed your hand on his servo. "I feel the same way. But I guess you already know that." You laughed.

Optimus smiled, glad that you were not angry at him. Thankful that you still felt the same way about him. After all this, he was glad he decided to go into the library as his holoform. It turned out to be one of the best choices he ever made.

#ask #transformers #optimus #optimus prime #optimus x reader #orion #orion x reader #optimus x human reader

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beesinspades · 11 months

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happy pride month from vash the stampede!!!! 💜 seeing all the ace vash art makes me so happy I wanted to contribute!

#trigun #trigun maximum #trigun fanart #asexual #vash the stampede #trimax #re: charms if it happens shipping will be from belgium jsyk!!#he makes me so happy!!!#AND WHAT IF I TEAR UP?? WHAT THEN????#you guys i didn't know something i made could make me feel this way #i spent an embarrassing amount of time on it sdfjbkln #i'm posting it now because if I don't i'm gonna spend another 5 hours on it #granted i could still end up tweaking it and just editing my post bUT STILL #for context i'm not great at art i barely ever draw but i want to improve so i decided to draw one vash every day of june #i've been seeing a little bit of improvement and when I drew this one he was pretty flawed but also he made me so happy that i was like #ok i'm cleaning it up and fixing it digitally #and now 12+ hours of work later here we are #ANYWAY ANYWAY I'M RAMBLING #THANK YOU FOR THE ACE VASH ART THIS MONTH YOU GUYS INSPIRED ME PLEASE KEEP IT COMING #it clears my skin waters my crops #also pls don't follow me for this i post art once every six months at best you'll be disappointed!! i'm a writer first and foremost #anyway gotta go draw today's vash weehee!#bee draws #ace vash tag

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the-casbah-way · 2 months

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not to beat a dead horse but jesus christ can you just leave people alone in public bathrooms i just want to fucking piss girl i'm so tired of feeling anxious and trying to avoid using public bathrooms because of how fucking weird cis people are about it. i tried to go into the bathroom at work today (i have worked here for years) and this woman who has worked here for two weeks and doesn't know me laughed and tried to like. steer me in the direction of the men's toilet instead and was like "wrong way!" are you fucking kidding me fuck off

#i have worked in this building for years. i know where the fucking bathroom is #like i'm sorry but cis people just don't want me in any bathroom at this point. i can't fucking win #i'm not kidding you i didn't really think that people in real life would actually make a fuss over who is in the bathroom #but at uni specifically i have had A LOT of people in the womens bathroom awkwardly tell me “uh i think you're in the wrong bathroom haha”#they're not even doing it in an antagonistic way it's like they genuinely think i've walked into the wrong one #and it makes ME feel like a creep or like i've done something wrong #like you guys are the ones that insist i should be in this bathroom !!!! but then i go in there and get told i'm in the wrong one !!!!#it's one of the few things that never fails to make me feel anxious and sad because it's a fucking bathroom it shouldn't be a big deal #why am i being made to feel like i've done something wrong when i'm just trying to exist here like everyone else #and you know what. it doesn't matter how i identify right. because i've actually done nothing to intentionally masculanise my appearance #like the entire time i've been out. i had short hair before i came out and i dressed this way before i came out #i have not done anything to try and Look Like A Man or Look Cis. i just have masc bone structure NATURALLY #so for all you know i could just be a woman with short hair ????? and you're telling me i don't belong in here because of that ??#like sure i'm NOT a woman with short hair but my point is you literally cannot tell the difference #so just leave people alone

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trans-leek-cookie · 1 year

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Hm I'm not putting this in yhe main tags bc. Yeah but I'm blocking ppl who call the step mother hot

#Like ok she kills people and is rebelling or whatever. She abused 2 children. One if whom we saw be abused physically and mentally in CANON #BEFORE NOW! YOU STUPID FUCKS. And I don't want to overstep bc I am not Black but both of her main victims are Black and I feel #Very very uncomfortable with people being able to. Ignore that? Like I don't know if she has a Canon/coded race so I can't speak to #In story dynamics and I can't say if it's intended as a pattern but it's genuinely something I think we should like. Acknowledge.#I dont CARE about you enjoying her killing people. That's like fine who gives a shit. I do care about the fact people seem to have assumed #That her being given nuance means it's like. Fine to gloss over the fact she is Canonically an abuser? Like look me in the fucking eyes.#She has abused Cinderella Pinocchio and her stepdaughters! I don't CARE if you want to say the first parts are because of the authors.#It. Happened. Oh wow she was written this way she didn't chose CINDERELLA DIDNT CHOSE TO BE ABUSED! AND OH HOW TERRIBLE THAT YOU WERE #ABUSIVE SO WE COULD LOVE THE PROTAG. HOW DO YOU THINK SHE'D FEEL IF SHE KNEW HER ABUSE WAS A CHOICE MADE TO MAKE HER ''BETTER'' AND #''MORE LIKEABLE''. LIKE SHE HAS TO HAVE THIS KIND OF PAIN JUST SO PEOPLE LIKE HER. DO YOU THINK THATS BETTER? THAT ITS LESS SOUL CRUSHING??#AND THENP PINOCCHIO. She. CHOSE. That. Pinocchio chose to lie to save his father. She chose to hurt his father to control him. Also more #Lore based but it's implied she did her story again. She has Cinderella's father in an etching. So. It's likely after she got this power #She STILL chose to hurt Cinderella. She chose to be the villain. She CHOSE this. She chose to hurt her again. She chose to be abusive again #Again. Implied. But I don't know what else it would imply. She broke off Pinocchio's nose. She saw him Vulnerable literally told in #By his father (even untrue as it was) that he shouldn't have been made. And she used that. She lovebombed him with promises of a mother and #Reassurance and GIFTS TO FUCKING MANIPULATE HIM. And I believe in adventuring party it was said that Pinocchio literally could not #Recognize what she did to him as abuse/manipulation because of the fact he had been taught that if something hurt him he like. Deserved it.#Or that it was in some way Correct. And that getting what he WANTED was wrong. She took advantage of that to use him literally use him #To the point he was willing to use his strings (something he saw as a trap for him literally representing CONTROL OVER HIM just to escape #Her he was literally GIVING SIGNIFICANT PARTS OF HIS AUTONOMY UP TO ESCAPE HER I DONT THIMK THIS IS FUCKING SUBTEXT GUYS)#Ppl say they want evil women and then act like the women who aren't evil aren't that bad actually because that would COMPLICATE THINGS HUH?#I'm so FUCKING MAD. Like use your brain you stupid cunts

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viosjaan · 2 months

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i don't think you want anything to do with me anymore so i can just vent the texts i want to send to you here

#i am sorry #truly genuinely #ive been trying to justify it to myself that we weren't technically together and you said go kiss other people ill still be here meet your #needs in the way you want #but i think it was #yesterday #this guy flirted with me and i flirted back but then suddenly this wave of disgust and self loathing hit me #like what am i even doing #how could i have done that #you were sitting there thinking we're okay you thought we were still together and im just in a bad mood going thru one of those depressive #episodes you were so understanding when you shouldn't have been because if i say im in love with you i should be there for you every step #of the way.#but you go through so much shit alone and im never there for you or atleast not there for you a lot of times and then i blame you for #liking your bestfriends more like it's so stupid obviously love should be reliable stable #and we were something na. we were everything except the label #i should have told you the moment i started feeling empty and dissatisfied again #but just. this isn't an excuse but like i didn't want to hurt you by bringing up this same fight for the one thousandth time #we agreed that you're not in the position to give more and i agreed to be okay with it and i really was.#but i can't help myself i want to give you everything i hate that feeling that i need to be less love less WANT less. mujhse nahi ho pata #i wasn't lying or pretending to be okay with it i was TRYING my best to be okay with it because i love you and this was the only way to #not lose you forever #now i just want to move on fr and be just friends with you. i can't lose you as a person but i don't know how to make this up to you #i am physically incapable of being in this situationship i want a relationship or a friendship i can't with this in between #which is what i told you in jan. i remember my chest actually feeling heavy with fear bc i was so scared of hurting you and getting hurt #again. jokes on me my worst fears came true all the progress we made by taking space is lost #i don't know if you really deleted my playlist. i tried to listen to more songs from it but they're so. lovely. talking about epic grand #love. which we have. but it's like waving a candy in front of a kid and snatching it away it hurts too much to have all the feelings and #none of the relationship. now that ive talked to some people in the romantic sense i get it #you were my best love my most perfect love there are no flaws there's nothing anyone else can do that can be equal or more to what you did #but idk it isn't meant to be maybe there's no future

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tarjapearce · 9 months

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Tentateur

Miguel O'Hara x Cheated on!fem Reader

WARNINGS: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. SMUT at the end, bit of angst, fluff, adult situations. Cheating, divorce.

Requested here

Summary: Miguel can't stand watching you being neglected by your husband.

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If there was something Miguel hated, was life being too generous upon those that didn't deserve it, not even the slightest. Meaning, a dickhead for a coworker and sadly, your husband.

How could such a guy like him ended up with a sweetheart like you was beyond him, The man was apathetic, little to no charm, rude and an absolute bastard.

"She's uh, my wife." He had said flatly. Your name felt like sandpaper on his tongue as it rolled out of it while introducing you to the rest at a small party at Alchemax.

Miguel had noticed the little stab of hurt crossing your angelic face. He wanted to punch him straight in the face, even some of the other couples had noticed the small tension. But you just stood there, trying to give your best smile. The golden band around your finger and the loving stare your eyes casted on your husband was a clear 'Don't even try it' for him.

But for once, Miguel didn't care.

----

He didn't exactly know how the crush on you had started. At first he thought that was just him feeling lonely and that his eyes wandered too much. But when you visited, lunch bag in hand, looking for your husband only to give him a bedazzling smile upon seeing him, and he receiving you with a tight-lipped smile, made his heart to break a little more.

"Hey" You were about to kiss him but he just backed away.

"I'm working."

"Alright, alright. See you later?"

He just gave a quick nod and put the lunchbox on his desk. There wasn't love in his goodbye kiss, Miguel noted. Once you were out, he rummaged through its contents while rolling his eyes.

He looked around and spotted Miguel with a mug on his hand.

"Hey, pal." He called and offered him.

"Want some?" Miguel seized him from head to toes but just nodded. It felt the only way that he could have a bit of you at the moment.

"Take whatever you like. Wife always goes overboard with food." Miguel took the small dessert container. It tasted divine. It only matched your own sweetness.

Lucky Bastard.

Oh he was. His eyebrows pressed together as he kept giving away all the food you had so dotingly prepared him.

----

"Can we talk about this later? You can't just keep visiting me every time you feel so"

"But you keep forgetting lunch at home, can't leave you like-"

"It's fine really, we have vending machines here." Your husband grumbled, but you couldn't help but hold the lunchbox tightly against your arms.

"I see. Sorry." You gave him a small smile, "See you later?"

"Im busy today. Might get a couple hours late. Don't wait for me."

You just nodded as Miguel jaw tensed.

How dared he?

You left.

-----

You had bumped into him at the supermarket on a weekend. Your cart was full of food, food that would end up in his hands and the rest of the team but never in your husband's mouth.

"Miguel, right?"

He nodded as he pulled some items for himself in his basket.

"Thanks for helping me." you smiled, his heart thumped harder.

"Where is..." He cleared his throat and you looked up at him.

"My husband? Oh, he said he had an extra shift today. Working in Alchemax surely is hard, I mean, I try to make it less... bad for him."

Miguel's mind was sneering, not at you but at the fake pretense of a hard working man the son of a bitch had put up with you. He knew the truth, he knew your husband only went there, did things wrong and half assed, and lately he had been flirting shamelessly with a lab technician from the upper floor.

His hatred for the man only grew, just as his admiration for you. What truly made you marry someone like him? That's the biggest question he had so far.

"I'm kind of nervous, today's our anniversary. I wanna surprise him with something" Your cheeks tinted red.

God you were killing him. He wanted to grab you gently by your shoulders, and say 'I can be better' cause of course he could, he was. You'd never have to settle for less with him.

'I appreciate you' cause he did, unlike the fool you had married. 'You'd never have to beg me' because in truth, he was already at your feet.

But you weren't his. Not yet.

-----

Sighing, Miguel put the lab test equipment away, then headed for the main office to get a couple more samples of a liquid he tried, but stopped dead in his tracks at the sight.

Legs wrapped around a man's waist, as his pants were down at his ankles. The woman shrieked once she noticed Miguel standing there with a frown and disgusted face. Miguel’s anger froze when the man next to her turned to be none but your husband.

The man recoiled to himself upon Miguel glaring holes his way.

----

His shoulder was poked by none other that the cheating pig.

"Uh, hey. Can we.... Can you, I mean-"

He stumbled on his words, Miguel towered over him, his eyes belittling him. He was bold.

"You saw nothing, yeah?"

And oh so phony. Disgusting.

Miguel just went back to his work.

It was the last straw.

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To his surprise you were sitting on a café, puffy and tear crusted eyes staring into nothingness, a phone on your hands. You knew.

He didn't know whether to approach you, or just leave you be. As much as he wanted you, he knew that coming at you in your most vulnerable state would not only make a bad impression oh him, but he didn't want to act like a vulture, looming over your broken heart for him to take.

He approached carefully.

"Hey"

"Miguel..."

"Are you okay?"

Your eyes avoided him.

"May I sit?"

You nodded with a hiccup and he offered you his handkerchief, fresh hot tears spilled in the soft fabric. His chest constricting at the sight.

"He cheated on me."

Much to your dismay, he knew. Of course, he wanted to tell you, but knowing how careless your husband acted, it was a matter of time for you to discover the cheating.

"I'm really sorry to hear that."

Shaking your head, you sniffed

"He has been doing this for months. Should've... saw this coming. I mean... I found so many pictures of a woman and... God"

He was pretty sure that he would punch the man next time he'd see him.

"He never came home to our anniversary, but even way before that. He just... I wasn't enough."

He frowned and took your hand softly.

"Stop. Cheating is a personal choice, guapa. You can't blame yourself for other's choices. He decided to do so, to trash away his marriage. It has nothing to do with you."

"Maybe if... I was-"

"No. You're... you're perfect. Puta madre, you're more than perfect. He's a lucky bastard just to have you. And... If I was him-"

He stopped his words and pursed his lips. You didn't need this. He'd have to be patient. You stared at him gently.

"I'll file for a divorce. He's barely coming home anyways and... that pretty much says on it's own that is over."

Miguel just nodded.

"Might celebrate it." You chuckled after wiping your tears.

"Can I ask you something?"

Again, you nodded.

"I know it's none of my business but, I'm just genuinely curious as to why you'd marry him?"

"Impulsiveness, I guess." you shrugged, your hand resting some inches away from his.

"He just proposed one day out of the blue, we had been dating for six months. Don't... don't look at me like that. I know it was stupid." you groaned.

"It's alright. You thought it was love." His hand inched closer, you nodded.

"We had our problems. A lot, actually. But... instead of speaking things like a fucking adult, he went on cheating."

"Mira, guapa... yo" He trailed off unsure of resisting any longer, his resolution to wait vanishing, "I know that this is a really bad time for you and-"

"Please... don't. Miguel I-"

"Just listen, ok? Please?" His hand finally took yours gently.

"I know this is the least of things you need right now, but... You have no idea how... how perfect you are. I always saw you visiting him, being loving, and he just threw all that away. He lost you. You're way too much for him."

Your body tensed upon sensing where this was going. Of course you weren't ignorant, you'd notice the glances he would give your way, the yearning in his eyes every time you kissed or acted like lovesick fool with your glacial husband.

" Let me show you, how would I treat you, if you were mine."

"Miguel, I don't want to-."

"Let me take you to dinner. If you don't like anything and I mean it, anything, I'll stop and leave you be. Just a dinner. Hell, you could ramble about him for hours and I'd just be happy for you to be there."

You sighed, it was a rather simple choice to say yes or no. There was nothing that actually tied you to your ex husband now. Just a very skewed moral code.

" Just a dinner. "

His heart fluttered and he nodded

"Just a dinner and I'll drop you home."

----

Miguel helped you out of his car, eyes drinking in your form. He would be lying if he said that he didn't feel jealous of the dress you were wearing, snugging all your curves in the right spots, just a tiny thing to make your own beauty to stand out even more. Gorgeous, flawless, divine and perfect.

You gasped at the location

"Are you sure this is the place? It's quite expensive."

Your concern was endearing, he offered you his arm and guided you inside.

"You're worth it, princesa."

The place seemed like being inspired from an old movie, elegant, classic and of course fancy. Never in your life your ex husband would actually treat you to places like these. His card would explode, he said once. Other places were good, but this was in a whole new level of luxury.

Miguel held the chair for you, and you sat, he followed.

"This place is gorgeous." He chuckled and took your hand to kiss your soft knuckles.

"Just like you."

----

Time flew, the night had been to your surprise one of the best things that you have experienced. You had tasted things that didn't know existed, Miguel had fed you the dessert, pampering you to no end. The wine was delicious.

As night advanced, his little touches had turned more and more risqué, his fingers would take a taste of your exposed thigh skin, your hands would brush his, fiery and small caresses that sparked a silent yet mutual fire.

Once home you couldn't get your hands out of eachother. He had to be careful to not rip your dress to bits, he needed you. The wet kisses in your neck and his wandering hands all over your heated body the proof of it. When was the last time that someone touched you like this?

Not even him, the man that oathed to love you and be with you through thick and thin. A gentle rub on your clit by expert fingers made you forget about him. Lock his memory in a vault and you'd throw the key somewhere. Your hips would buck against his hand, rolling on waves after waves of pleasure.

"He didn't touch you?" You shook your head as your mouth gaped open.

"When was-"

"Shut up." you moaned breathlessly. An I don't know nor care.

Your body responded so well too him, be the need you tried to sate with your own hands, or the loneliness that had made you so desperate that had you squirming and soaked and he was only using his hands so far. With Miguel, things felt differently. He did things differently. And different was good. So so good.

His hunger for you shown and conveyed in every caress and touch he gave you. He was gentle enough for his desire to permeate your skin. You didn't feel alone. You felt needed. Loved even. There was no turning back once you discarded all the clothes on both ends.

----

Opposite to what you believed, your heart wasn't flooding with guilt. No.

There were no longer what ifs and what not constantly echoing in your brain. There was no longer that constricting sensation in your chest you always had. No more uncertainty. You were free.

Last night Miguel, whose arms cradled your form to be snuggled in his chest and his thigh hooked on your hip, hoarding you. As if fearful you'd go away, had made you experience a whole new concept of pleasure. Your body soared in bliss, you were glowing, He had given you climax after climax, making every single one of them more shattering and intense than the other.

That's all you wanted really. Feel at ease and blissful. Miguel had given you that and more. More than you actually ever though deserving. It was just a matter of time that you'd finally take him whole.

You wanted him. His kindness, his care, his love, his grumpyness during mornings, the way he cursed in spanish whenever he'd stub his toe in the nightstand. You wanted it all.

Of course you had filed for a divorce as soon as you could, your husband was more than happy to comply. He hadn't been home for a while, Miguel even told you that he had quitted. It was as if the universe was removing him from your life ever since you started with Miguel a couple months ago.

But none of that mattered. Not when he had plopped you down to bed, hands holding a firm grip in your sweaty and smooth skin, hips straddling yours and plowing into you from behind, prone bone position. His hips buried himself deep, hitting that spot over and over. He wasn't gentle, but that's just exactly how you liked it.

Before you could actually reach the stars he flipped you over, your thighs resting ontop of his. He sheathed once more inside. Your phone buzzed.

You growled in annoyance, Miguel sighed. A number you knew all too well. Finally you'd get the news you so needed to hear.

"Y-Yeah?" Miguel smirked as he held your thighs together and pushed in further, his tip kissing your cervix so deliciously you had to bite your lip to suppress a moan. The little baby bump in your abdomen barely noticeable.

"Shit's done. Papers are signed."

There was a bit of rustling and the clinking of glass. By his tone, you knew he was getting drunk, celebrating. Miguel took the phone and put it on speaker.

"Ya know? I'm glad I did. Couldn't stand you, nagging all the time. But I'm a free man now, baby." His gulping, something you secretly hated, could be heard on the other line.

Miguel frowned and spreaded your legs once more.

"You there?" Your ex chuckled, "It's okay if you're crying, won't judge"

So so annoying.

A smirk appeared on your face as Miguel focused the camera on your body. He then turned the video call on. The man's face instantly fell upon watching you bouncing on a cock that surely put his to shame. Spine arching, breast jiggling and mouth spewing the lewdest of moans and needy whimpers he hsd ever heard from you. One tan hand secured you in place, preventing you from squirming too much.

"Sorry, pal." He grunted as he started to ram his hips in abandonment, making your toes curl. Your face and body said it all. The video image shaking at his thrust

"Just like that, bonita?" You choked a sob as he went balls in deep, nodding and begging him for him to not stop.

"She's busy." He hung up the call before the man could say anything and tossed your phone somewhere in the bed.

You felt so good, perfect for him, And now you were all his.

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tag list: @primroselovessupernatural

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #atsv miguel #miguel o'hara smut #spiderman 2099 smut #t writes✨

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