Yeah masculinity is privileged in the “right” people. It is absolutely not privileged in women and people incorrectly viewed as women by society like trans men and nonbinary people

!!

I love you op and you and your identity is valid and worthy of respect and love

Thanks, appreciate you!

thank you for your endless patience in answering your askbox. im sure that it can be very mentally taxing so please take care of yourself. everything you do here is so very appreciated :)

Thank you! I feel bad for not getting back to folks in a timely fashion but it is very taxing sometimes I’m afraid </3 I’ve been trying to take it easy these last couple days. I appreciate you, anon <3

hey hey! i wish i'd found your blog months ago but i'm glad i did now. it's so fuckin hard to be excited to learn who you are, only to see so many people believing you should be ashamed of it, no matter who's perpetuating that. i don't know how i did it, but for anyone out there figuring out your gender(s), especially if you're younger, and falling into a mess of despair over the way things are right now... i've been out for a decade and slogged through the most guilting, self-hating circles of transness out there, and while all this still hurts, i've seen the strength in our community and i'll never underestimate it for a second. i can't imagine how seen i would feel if this blog existed when i was coming out, and just a look shows it's been a bright spot in other people's scrolling too. take care, and thank you.

Honestly, other folks in the trans community treating me poorly for my transmasculinity make me feel much worse than cis people doing it. But I get what you mean, and I think things are getting better for us. I hope to craft a world where young trans men and mascs don’t feel invisible and unheard and like they need to punish themselves for their identity. Thank you so much for sending this in.

posts made by people who are extremely normal about trans people

like a lot of time transmasculine "victimhood" is not about the transmasculine person themself. it's about the abstract ideal daughter that is grafted onto their body. when people talk about protecting their daughters from themselves, they mean they must kill the evil dyke to save the fantasy of a good daughter/future wife and mother. it's the same thing that happens with ageism towards children, where your "real" identity is the value you represent to society, and you- the consciousness driving the body- can and will be punished if you are seen as threatening that hypothetical person they need you to be. transmasculine people are not seen as innocent. their body represents the sexual labor society demands of them, and the social failure inside the body has to be beaten and forced into submission to protect the body.

"intersex people are trying to co-opt trans language" MOTHERFUCKER AFAB/AMAB AS TERMS LITERALLY ORIGINATED IN INTERSEX COMMUNITIES??? IF ANYTHING Y'ALL ARE CO-OPTING OUR LANGUAGE????!

(refering to the stupidest fucking dyadic/perisex person i've ever seen throwing a fit about afab transfems)

thank you for telling me. thats super messed up, i hope oop does okay and that they feel comfortable again soon :(

Anytime, and same here. Have a good one, anon.

reminder that visibly religious people belong at pride. that person wearing a hijab is not a threat to you. that person wearing tzitzit and a kippah is not a threat to you. someone simply wearing an item that is culturally or religiously important to them is not a threat to you. however, your aggression upon seeing a religious person at pride is a threat to them.

can i ask what the imoanurparentsname stuff is about? im trying to look it up but tumblr's search doesn't want to show me. i can come off anon or into dms if you'd like

Originally, someone I’ll leave anonymous due to their preferences made a really good, well-written post including personal writings and experiences titled “Affirmation and Malgendering.” It introduced the concept of “malgendering” people which I added to my vocabulary immediately. The OP turned reblogs and replies off because they didn’t want it to circulate for fear of harassment.

Later, the person you mentioned copied that text and posted it as their own post. They linked to the OOP at the bottom, but several people called them out for it and pointed out that the OOP clearly didn’t want that post to get big with their name on it. We told them to take it down. Instead, this person removed the link and moved OOP’s name (with no explanation that that was the author) to the last tag, effectively passing the post off as their own to anyone who doesn’t know it’s not theirs already. In response, it appears as though the OOP has deleted all their writings and is pulling back from the discourse. I am livid to be honest. I got so much out of the original author’s work and they deserved so much better than this.

TERFs feel ownership over transmasc bodies. We already know they think we don’t deserve to make our own decisions about what to do with them, that we’re mentally ill or delusional or autistic or just trying to escape misogyny. But I also think they look at us and see nothing but themselves. They see their pain, their trauma, what they could have become if only things were different. And they conclude that, therefore, they know better than us. They know what we really need: to be converted to TERFism and detransitioned. After all, we’re ruining our poor, beautiful, fertile “female” bodies that they so covet.

This happens a hundredfold when the transmasc in question is their own kid. My transphobic mother would tell me my body is hers and therefore she could do whatever she wanted with it. She was joking until she wasn’t. TERF moms act as though it’s their own breasts being “cut off,” testosterone being put in their own bodies, their own uterus being removed, without their consent. They’ll tell you to your face they know you better than you know yourself, their words dripping with manufactured sympathy, because after all we’re the same: we’re both “female.”

If you haven’t already, please familiarize yourself with how radical feminism looks and how to spot a TERF beyond them saying they hate trans women. You don’t want to see these people around for any longer than it takes to block them.

Cannot ever take anyone's criticisms about Saint (popularized the term transandrophobia) seriously when they turn "having a private kink blog to engage in consensual kink with transfem partner" into "believing in forcemasc detransition and corrective rape of lesbians", and "has a community willing to defend hymn" into "sent people to harass transfems".

We love to use the tools of the oppressors against our own community and all that. Nothing at all familiar about making a trans person's private sex life into an excuse to call them a predator and devalue everything they say, surely not.

And like. Every single one of those people are constantly saying over and over about how they would never ever judge even a transfem with the most problamatic kinks.

I don't have a detrans kink but I do like particular variations of play-misgendering. I can just feel that being used to invalidate me as an authority on the subject of transfeminism and perhaps even refute my identity entirely. I was also like, main character of Tumblr a decade ago during an extremely traumatizing period of my life and I'm certain that if that stuff ever came back up again they would enthusiastically use it against me while claiming I encouraged doing that to other transfems because I hopped the backs of ones saying blatantly bigoted shit.

how are we still dragging around the saint callout post to this day. how many times are we gonna have this conversation before you people can hear about a trans person of color doing kink and not immediately lose your fucking minds

Well yeah, you’re openly a radfem, of course you’d think so lmao. Everyone has a responsibility to not be a “threat” — to not engage in harmful behavior. Harmful behavior includes holding a group’s immutable traits against them and treating them like shit as a result.

I saw your “why’d you even throw race in here” tag — whitest thing I’ve ever heard. Race and gender are inextricable, anyone who knows the basics of intersectionality or even just theory about race and gender in general will tell you that. Way to tell me you have never spoken to a Black man in your life.

Anyway, here’s a person to block folks.

Btw if you misrepresent my own stance to me in my inbox I am not going to reply to it. I have never indicated I blame or hold hostility towards women who are afraid of men and cautious around them. I have been that person. I have held my pepper spray tight walking down an alley at night in women’s clothing. I have said I hate men and turned the other way when others expressed “KAM” sentiments. But I think when we’re in a place to, we all have a responsibility to heal our relationship with men and masculinity. Not doing so is how you get radfems. Not doing so is how you get a lot of transphobia. Not doing so is how you get a lot of racism. And not doing so is how you feel miserable and paranoid for the rest of your life instead of recognizing that the real harm doesn’t come from strangers as often as it does people in your life. Including women.

fuck all these queer pride month posts that start with "our brothers and sisters"

like how are you all forgetting that nonbinary people exist

Just a heads up: imoanurparentsnames is a plagiarist and the original author of the Malgendering & Affirmation post has taken down all other writings due to this situation. Please do not let a plagiarist stay in these tags because what this did was silence another transmasc who did not want the writing circulating. Let writers have control over their work completely regardless of your feelings about it.

Coming from the place of another writer, the weaponization of "If you disagree with me that this is okay you are just a transmisandrist" is abhorrent. This situation, the erasure of your wants for your work and the entitlement over your work is a writer's nightmare.