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vbecker10 · 4 hours
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Haha I'm sorry I lied... Loki was supposed to say something but chickened out. I can't get him to do a damn thing, you might need to go get him
Talk to Me (Part 3)
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 4 (in progress)
Pairing: Loki x female reader (Y/N)
Summary: Your mind is racing in too many directions and you have no answers. Are your nightmares are returning? Will Loki pull away now that you saw his Jotun form? Will you ever get the courage to tell him you love him?
Meanwhile, Loki battles with similar concerns. What can he do to ensure you feel safe and keep away your nightmares? How will he explain his Jotun form to you without you thinking he's a monster? Will you ever love him the way he loves you?
Warnings: anxiety, feeling of being alone, fear of running a friendship, Loki being insecure about being a frost giant... soooo much angst I'm sorry lol
A/N: Don't worry, Part 4 is the last part and I'm going to post it a day or so after I post this so you won't have to wait too long 💚
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His smile vanishes and he immediately shifts back into his Asgardian form, pulling his fingers free from your other hand. "I'm sorry," he says nervously as he gets up and walks away from you.
"For what?" you ask getting up but he ignores you. "Wait, Loki," you call as he heads towards his bedroom and pauses under the door frame. You walk towards him and say, "Please don't do that. Don't shut me out." You slip your hand into his and he looks at you. "You promised you would talk to me, remember?"
He sighs, "I did promise that, didn't I?"
You nod and try to smile, hoping he will open up to you. You are always worried Loki will retreat behind the walls you've worked so hard to break down.
A small smile tugs at his lips and he says, "I don't know what I did to deserve such a fiercely devoted friend."
You shrug and hold your forced smile as you feel a twinge of pain in your chest when he refers to you simply as his friend.
"We will talk in the morning, I promise," he says as he moves to pull you into a hug. "You need to rest."
You nod and let go of his hand, turning towards the living area. Your heart sinks and you feel a wave of a guilt and concern when you see the state of the couch for the first time. The blanket Loki had given you is in a pile on the floor but you can see several large holes burned into it. The fabric of the cushions are singed far worse than you thought and the wall behind the couch is lightly coated in ash and smoke.
"I didn't realize it was this bad," you say in a stunned voice. You cover your mouth in shock as you realize how close you had come to making your nightmare a reality. Looking at Loki, you lower your hand, "I'm so sorry." You begin the fight to hold back the tears that swiftly push their way to the surface.
"You have nothing to be sorry about," he puts his arms around you, turning you away from the couch. "It is just a piece of furniture," he waves one hand towards the couch. With a light green glow, the blanket vanishes from sight, both the couch and wall return to their previous, un-burnt state. Loki rubs your back in a soothing manner and you lift your head to look up at him. A single tear escapes and he wipes it away before you can hide it from him. "The important thing is that you are okay," he tells you with a caring look.
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Loki offers to walk you back to your room and you quickly agree, still feeling the lingering nervousness from your panic attack and nightmare, you are not ready to be alone yet.
As you walk down the hall quietly, his fingers brush against the back of your hand lightly. You want to take his hand but you are unsure how he will react. Would he squeeze your hand as your ever supportive friend then let go as he had done many times before? Would he pull away from you with the forced, polite smile you've seen him use in dozens of interviews? He still seems a bit distant after you had seen his Jotun form, what if he didn't want to be close to you now?
Loki looks down at how closely your hands are and wishes he could reach out for yours. He tries to picture the smile that would light up your face if he was to take your hand and bring it to his lips, kissing your soft skin lightly.
When you reach your door, you pause briefly before opening it.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
"I'm afraid to go back to sleep," you admit. "I haven't been in so long but I just... what if it happens again? What if the nightmares are coming back? I don't want to go back to the way it was."
"I'm sure it was just a one time thing. You were over tired from your mission and we both know you have been under a lot of stress lately," Loki tries to reassure you but he can tell it does nothing to ease your fear. He understands better than anyone in the Tower how your nightmares had affected you.
You would stay awake for days at a time when he first met you, fearful that if you closed your eyes for even a second the dreams would return. Loki had helped you discover that your nightmares were triggered by your anxiety, stress and exhaustion. Unfortunately, this meant the more tired or worried you were, the more likely it would be that your sleep would be interrupted.
"Last time they started it was just like this," you tell him. You begin to fear that you were wrong to think your issues sleeping were truly behind you.
Loki is quiet for a moment, one of his hands settles on your lower back gently and he moves it up and down slowly while he thinks. "Would you feel more comfortable if I stayed?" he offers for the first time since your nightmares subsided months ago.
"Yes," you answer without thinking. "I mean... if you don't mind, I know my couch isn't really that great. You're way too tall for it," you hold back a smile remembering the last time Loki feel asleep there, his long legs hanging off the end of what was more of a love seat than a couch.
Loki takes a step towards you, his fingers touching your chin to gently raise your eyes to meet his, "Have you ever known me to offer to do something if i didn't want to do it?"
"No," you smile, feeling a blush creep up your cheeks at how close he is standing to you. You hope he doesn't notice but the way his eyes flicker to your cheeks you know he did.
You open your door and he takes your hand as if it was the most natural thing he has ever done. It is hard to focus on anything other than the feeling of his thumb running slowly along your knuckles. You follow him into your apartment without another word.
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You tell him you will find him an extra pillow but as soon as the words leave your lips he smirks and you remember who you are talking to. "Don't worry, I've got them," he responds as he conjures a pillow and blanket to place on the couch.
"Right," you smile awkwardly. You wait a moment but when he sits on the couch you realize he isn't planning on giving you a hug before you leave him for the night. You always need just one more hug but you can't bring yourself to ask for one right now.
"Sleep well, Y/N," he tells you.
"Goodnight Loki," you lift your hand to give him a small wave before disappearing into your room.
You lay on your bed and pull the sheets tightly around yourself but you couldn't feel any more awake. The second you close your eyes, your heart races as the faded memories of your nightmare flash across your mind. You open them quickly and look up at the bare ceiling with a groan. You try to push aside your fear that the nightmares are returning, hoping that Loki is right.
Loki... your thoughts stray to the God curled up in your living room. Why had he been so upset when you saw his Jotun form? That's who he truly is, isn't it? He shouldn't be ashamed of that or try to hide it from everyone, you think. But even if he doesn't want the whole world to see him, that shouldn't include you, should it? You weren't just anyone, you were his friend, his best friend. The person he had promised to share everything with. Maybe you aren't as close as you think, maybe that is a part of himself he will never share with you. Or maybe he is waiting to share it with someone he loves and trusts but that person isn't you, you think as you roll over, clinging to your pillow.
Loki conjures a book and lays on your couch with one arm behind his head. He is comfortable enough with his legs bent to fit better on the small piece of furniture but he feels as if something is missing. He realizes he is missing how it felt to have his arms around you, he hadn't hugged you goodnight as he typically would and it left a hollow feeling in his chest. He didn't want to add any more fuel to your already fearful mind and he is unsure how you will truly feel about his Jotun form once you are more rested and able to absorb what you saw.
He closes his book and places it on your coffee table, knowing he will be unable to focus on reading tonight. He is too angry with himself for slipping and revealing his Jotun form. Loki wants nothing more than to have you feel comfortable with him, how could have risked everything like that? How could he have been so stupid and reckless? You were at your most vulnerable and you needed him but he turned into a monster, he scolds himself. What if the sight of him had scared you? You could have hurt yourself with your powers and he knows he would never have been able to forgive himself for that.
He looks up, his attention pulled towards the sound of your bedroom door opening. Sitting up, Loki asks, "Are you okay?"
You shrug and put your arms around yourself. You aren't sure how to explain to Loki how lonely and anxious you feel.
"Do you want to sit out here with me for a bit?" he asks, patting the cushion next to him invitingly.
You nod and sit next to him, he moves the blanket to cover both of your laps and he puts his arm around your shoulders. Instantly, you feel some of the tension begin to leave your body as you relax a bit. "I know I need to sleep but I just can't," you tell him. "It's like my mind won't shut off. I feel bad keeping you awake like this, I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry," he tells you sincerely. "You stayed awake with me plenty of times when we were working through my nightmares. You are the only reason I am able to sleep now," he reminds you. "What kind of friend would I be if I didn't do the same for you?"
"Thank you Loki," you look up at him with a small, forced smile.
"That is not all that is wrong though, is it?" he asks but you shake your head. "I know you Y/N," he touches your cheek. "I know there is something aren't saying."
You look down, fidgeting with your fingers, you can't help but hate and love how well he knows you. You know you need to tell him something or he will keep asking what is wrong. How are you supposed to tell him your smile faltered because you dislike being reminded that you are nothing more than his friend?
"I was wondering..." you pause as your mind tries to work quickly, "Since neither of us are going to sleep any time soon, maybe we could have that talk now? About what happened with your Jotun form?"
His body tenses and you worry you have made a mistake. Maybe you should have tried to lie about something else or just gone back to your room. After a long stretch of silence he finally nods.
"I never meant for you to see me that way, ever," he says as he shakes his head. Loki shifts, leaving an empty space between you both on the couch. It is only a few inches but it feels like he is miles away. "I wasn't thinking," he continues. "When I saw you surrounded by the flames I knew I needed to help you, to make sure you were safe and the fire was out but I hadn't intended to let... that out." He flinches when he refers to his Jotun form.
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"I guess maybe I just don't understand why you want to keep that part of you locked away," you move closer to him.
"The Jotun are monsters, Y/N," he states. "I'm a monster. My father- Odin," he quickly corrects himself, "Made that perfectly clear to Thor and me when we were growing up. He used to tell us stories about them, the same way humans tell their children ghost stories. Jotuns are too be feared and hated and I never wanted you to know that side of me. I don't want you to be afraid of me."
"I admit, I don't know the first thing about Jotuns," you reach for his hand. "But I know you." He looks at you, his eyes are full of pain. "I have never been afraid of you Loki, you know that. Even the first time we met... when you kinda threw me through a wall," you try to joke.
"I have apologized for that," he says defensively.
"I know, I was kidding," you try to explain but you obviously missed the mark. You sigh, "Loki, listen to me. You are not a monster, I don't care what that ass Odin said when you were a kid. You are the most caring person I have ever met. No one has ever treated me this kindly or has put so much effort into trying to understand me."
He smiles as you talk and you can see in his eyes he believes you. "I have met monsters, Loki," you remind him. "We both have fought them on our missions and you are nothing like them. You care too deeply to ever become anything like them."
You put your arms around him and rest your head against his chest. He hugs you back and quietly says, "Thank you, Y/N."
Loki closes his eyes, feeling himself relax for the first time since your nightmare. He takes a deep breath, fighting the urge to tilt your head up so he can press his lips to yours. He wants to be closer to you but instead he places a soft kiss on the top of your head. He cannot risk your friendship, especially not in this moment so he settles for any affection he can as you hug him tighter, your body pressed so perfectly against his.
"You are without a doubt, the best thing that has ever happened to me and I do know what I would do without you in my life," he says, meaning every word.
You smile, knowing how much Loki appreciates you and you feel guilty wishing for more. You want him to say that he loves you, that he wants you in his life as more than his friend but he doesn't and he won't. You push down the torn feelings you have and tell him, "I will always be here for you."
"And I will always be here for you, Y/N," he responds. His body aches to shift forward and seal your promises with a kiss but he still doesn't move.
After a few minutes of comfortable silence he says, "You need to get some rest. You've had a long night."
"We both have," your agree but you still aren't sure you will be able to sleep. You get up from the couch and walk back towards your room but you stop after only a few steps. You turn to look back at Loki and tell him, "I don't want to be alone."
"I'm here," he promises as he sits on your couch.
You bite your lip, holding back the words you want to say. You want to ask him to hold you while you sleep. He had made you feel so protected and safe after your panic attack and you need to feel like that again.
He gets up from the couch and walks towards you when you don't say anything in response. "Would you feel better if I slept in your room tonight?" he asks and you hear a hint of nervousness in his voice, not something you are used to with Loki.
The answer leaves your mouth before you even realize it, "Yes."
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You take Loki's hand and lead him into your room. Pulling back the covers you make eye contact with him and realize he looks almost as anxious as you feel. You lay on your side near the edge of the bed, facing away from Loki quietly as he gets in on the other side.
Loki's heart skips a beat with nervous excitement, he truthfully hadn't thought you would accept his offer. As much as he wants to hold you all night he is worried about what will happen after. He fears this will be the only time you allow him into your bed and he knows it will not be enough for him. One night spent near you could never be enough but he will savor every second.
An empty space forms between you and Loki for a few moments then you feel the mattress dip as he rolls over towards you. Without thinking, you shift closer to him and your breath catches when you feel his chest flush to your back. He drapes his arm over you, pulling you flush to his body.
"Is this okay?" he asks quietly in your ear, he hopes you can't feel how quickly his heart is beating.
"It's perfect," you smile, keeping your eyes closed tight, trying to etch this feeling into your mind. You lay completely still, feeling the way his legs tangle with yours loosely, feeling his chest rise and fall as he breaths slowly, your hand covers his which rests lightly on your stomach. You could stay cuddled in his arms forever but you know it won't last. Come morning, he will release you and you will return to sleeping alone.
"Can I ask you something?" you say a few minutes later in a low voice.
"You can ask me anything," he promises.
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I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚 Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!
@soubi001 @mochie85 @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @animnerd @cabingrlandrandomcrap @icytrickster17 @lokisgoodgirl @mischief2sarawr @stupidthoughtsinwriting @mjsthrillernp @holdmytesseract @lulubelle814 @goblingirlsarah @alexakeyloveloki @siconetribal @lokidokieokie @kneelingformyloki @jiyascepter @eleniblue @loreniscrying @muddyorbsblr @alyeskathewave @loz-3 @firedrakegirl @javagirl328 @princessdragon23 @morally-grey-variant @soulpiercing @km-ffluv @superficialdomina @irishhappiness @princess-ofthe-pages
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vbecker10 · 5 hours
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Haha very true!
Today's randomness... enjoy 💚
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Vision: What does the phrase 'take out' refer to?
Bucky: It's when you go on a date
Thor: I thought it was when you got your food to go?
Loki: *sighs* It is clearly when you kill someone
Vision: This was not particularly helpful
Tony: Actually... they're all right
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I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚 Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!
@soubi001 @mochie85 @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @animnerd @cabingrlandrandomcrap @icytrickster17 @lokisgoodgirl @mischief2sarawr @stupidthoughtsinwriting @mjsthrillernp @holdmytesseract @lulubelle814 @goblingirlsarah @alexakeyloveloki @siconetribal @lokidokieokie @kneelingformyloki @jiyascepter @eleniblue @loreniscrying @muddyorbsblr @alyeskathewave @loz-3 @firedrakegirl @javagirl328 @princess-ofthe-pages @morally-grey-variant @soulpiercing @km-ffluv
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vbecker10 · 7 hours
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Hahaha that's probably the order Loki would prefer
Today's randomness... enjoy 💚
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Vision: What does the phrase 'take out' refer to?
Bucky: It's when you go on a date
Thor: I thought it was when you got your food to go?
Loki: *sighs* It is clearly when you kill someone
Vision: This was not particularly helpful
Tony: Actually... they're all right
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I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚 Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!
@soubi001 @mochie85 @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @animnerd @cabingrlandrandomcrap @icytrickster17 @lokisgoodgirl @mischief2sarawr @stupidthoughtsinwriting @mjsthrillernp @holdmytesseract @lulubelle814 @goblingirlsarah @alexakeyloveloki @siconetribal @lokidokieokie @kneelingformyloki @jiyascepter @eleniblue @loreniscrying @muddyorbsblr @alyeskathewave @loz-3 @firedrakegirl @javagirl328 @princess-ofthe-pages @morally-grey-variant @soulpiercing @km-ffluv
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vbecker10 · 7 hours
Text
Hehe sorry about the cliffhanger 😈
The are definitely almost there though, promise 🙂
Talk to Me (Part 3)
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 4 (in progress)
Pairing: Loki x female reader (Y/N)
Summary: Your mind is racing in too many directions and you have no answers. Are your nightmares are returning? Will Loki pull away now that you saw his Jotun form? Will you ever get the courage to tell him you love him?
Meanwhile, Loki battles with similar concerns. What can he do to ensure you feel safe and keep away your nightmares? How will he explain his Jotun form to you without you thinking he's a monster? Will you ever love him the way he loves you?
Warnings: anxiety, feeling of being alone, fear of running a friendship, Loki being insecure about being a frost giant... soooo much angst I'm sorry lol
A/N: Don't worry, Part 4 is the last part and I'm going to post it a day or so after I post this so you won't have to wait too long 💚
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His smile vanishes and he immediately shifts back into his Asgardian form, pulling his fingers free from your other hand. "I'm sorry," he says nervously as he gets up and walks away from you.
"For what?" you ask getting up but he ignores you. "Wait, Loki," you call as he heads towards his bedroom and pauses under the door frame. You walk towards him and say, "Please don't do that. Don't shut me out." You slip your hand into his and he looks at you. "You promised you would talk to me, remember?"
He sighs, "I did promise that, didn't I?"
You nod and try to smile, hoping he will open up to you. You are always worried Loki will retreat behind the walls you've worked so hard to break down.
A small smile tugs at his lips and he says, "I don't know what I did to deserve such a fiercely devoted friend."
You shrug and hold your forced smile as you feel a twinge of pain in your chest when he refers to you simply as his friend.
"We will talk in the morning, I promise," he says as he moves to pull you into a hug. "You need to rest."
You nod and let go of his hand, turning towards the living area. Your heart sinks and you feel a wave of a guilt and concern when you see the state of the couch for the first time. The blanket Loki had given you is in a pile on the floor but you can see several large holes burned into it. The fabric of the cushions are singed far worse than you thought and the wall behind the couch is lightly coated in ash and smoke.
"I didn't realize it was this bad," you say in a stunned voice. You cover your mouth in shock as you realize how close you had come to making your nightmare a reality. Looking at Loki, you lower your hand, "I'm so sorry." You begin the fight to hold back the tears that swiftly push their way to the surface.
"You have nothing to be sorry about," he puts his arms around you, turning you away from the couch. "It is just a piece of furniture," he waves one hand towards the couch. With a light green glow, the blanket vanishes from sight, both the couch and wall return to their previous, un-burnt state. Loki rubs your back in a soothing manner and you lift your head to look up at him. A single tear escapes and he wipes it away before you can hide it from him. "The important thing is that you are okay," he tells you with a caring look.
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Loki offers to walk you back to your room and you quickly agree, still feeling the lingering nervousness from your panic attack and nightmare, you are not ready to be alone yet.
As you walk down the hall quietly, his fingers brush against the back of your hand lightly. You want to take his hand but you are unsure how he will react. Would he squeeze your hand as your ever supportive friend then let go as he had done many times before? Would he pull away from you with the forced, polite smile you've seen him use in dozens of interviews? He still seems a bit distant after you had seen his Jotun form, what if he didn't want to be close to you now?
Loki looks down at how closely your hands are and wishes he could reach out for yours. He tries to picture the smile that would light up your face if he was to take your hand and bring it to his lips, kissing your soft skin lightly.
When you reach your door, you pause briefly before opening it.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
"I'm afraid to go back to sleep," you admit. "I haven't been in so long but I just... what if it happens again? What if the nightmares are coming back? I don't want to go back to the way it was."
"I'm sure it was just a one time thing. You were over tired from your mission and we both know you have been under a lot of stress lately," Loki tries to reassure you but he can tell it does nothing to ease your fear. He understands better than anyone in the Tower how your nightmares had affected you.
You would stay awake for days at a time when he first met you, fearful that if you closed your eyes for even a second the dreams would return. Loki had helped you discover that your nightmares were triggered by your anxiety, stress and exhaustion. Unfortunately, this meant the more tired or worried you were, the more likely it would be that your sleep would be interrupted.
"Last time they started it was just like this," you tell him. You begin to fear that you were wrong to think your issues sleeping were truly behind you.
Loki is quiet for a moment, one of his hands settles on your lower back gently and he moves it up and down slowly while he thinks. "Would you feel more comfortable if I stayed?" he offers for the first time since your nightmares subsided months ago.
"Yes," you answer without thinking. "I mean... if you don't mind, I know my couch isn't really that great. You're way too tall for it," you hold back a smile remembering the last time Loki feel asleep there, his long legs hanging off the end of what was more of a love seat than a couch.
Loki takes a step towards you, his fingers touching your chin to gently raise your eyes to meet his, "Have you ever known me to offer to do something if i didn't want to do it?"
"No," you smile, feeling a blush creep up your cheeks at how close he is standing to you. You hope he doesn't notice but the way his eyes flicker to your cheeks you know he did.
You open your door and he takes your hand as if it was the most natural thing he has ever done. It is hard to focus on anything other than the feeling of his thumb running slowly along your knuckles. You follow him into your apartment without another word.
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You tell him you will find him an extra pillow but as soon as the words leave your lips he smirks and you remember who you are talking to. "Don't worry, I've got them," he responds as he conjures a pillow and blanket to place on the couch.
"Right," you smile awkwardly. You wait a moment but when he sits on the couch you realize he isn't planning on giving you a hug before you leave him for the night. You always need just one more hug but you can't bring yourself to ask for one right now.
"Sleep well, Y/N," he tells you.
"Goodnight Loki," you lift your hand to give him a small wave before disappearing into your room.
You lay on your bed and pull the sheets tightly around yourself but you couldn't feel any more awake. The second you close your eyes, your heart races as the faded memories of your nightmare flash across your mind. You open them quickly and look up at the bare ceiling with a groan. You try to push aside your fear that the nightmares are returning, hoping that Loki is right.
Loki... your thoughts stray to the God curled up in your living room. Why had he been so upset when you saw his Jotun form? That's who he truly is, isn't it? He shouldn't be ashamed of that or try to hide it from everyone, you think. But even if he doesn't want the whole world to see him, that shouldn't include you, should it? You weren't just anyone, you were his friend, his best friend. The person he had promised to share everything with. Maybe you aren't as close as you think, maybe that is a part of himself he will never share with you. Or maybe he is waiting to share it with someone he loves and trusts but that person isn't you, you think as you roll over, clinging to your pillow.
Loki conjures a book and lays on your couch with one arm behind his head. He is comfortable enough with his legs bent to fit better on the small piece of furniture but he feels as if something is missing. He realizes he is missing how it felt to have his arms around you, he hadn't hugged you goodnight as he typically would and it left a hollow feeling in his chest. He didn't want to add any more fuel to your already fearful mind and he is unsure how you will truly feel about his Jotun form once you are more rested and able to absorb what you saw.
He closes his book and places it on your coffee table, knowing he will be unable to focus on reading tonight. He is too angry with himself for slipping and revealing his Jotun form. Loki wants nothing more than to have you feel comfortable with him, how could have risked everything like that? How could he have been so stupid and reckless? You were at your most vulnerable and you needed him but he turned into a monster, he scolds himself. What if the sight of him had scared you? You could have hurt yourself with your powers and he knows he would never have been able to forgive himself for that.
He looks up, his attention pulled towards the sound of your bedroom door opening. Sitting up, Loki asks, "Are you okay?"
You shrug and put your arms around yourself. You aren't sure how to explain to Loki how lonely and anxious you feel.
"Do you want to sit out here with me for a bit?" he asks, patting the cushion next to him invitingly.
You nod and sit next to him, he moves the blanket to cover both of your laps and he puts his arm around your shoulders. Instantly, you feel some of the tension begin to leave your body as you relax a bit. "I know I need to sleep but I just can't," you tell him. "It's like my mind won't shut off. I feel bad keeping you awake like this, I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry," he tells you sincerely. "You stayed awake with me plenty of times when we were working through my nightmares. You are the only reason I am able to sleep now," he reminds you. "What kind of friend would I be if I didn't do the same for you?"
"Thank you Loki," you look up at him with a small, forced smile.
"That is not all that is wrong though, is it?" he asks but you shake your head. "I know you Y/N," he touches your cheek. "I know there is something aren't saying."
You look down, fidgeting with your fingers, you can't help but hate and love how well he knows you. You know you need to tell him something or he will keep asking what is wrong. How are you supposed to tell him your smile faltered because you dislike being reminded that you are nothing more than his friend?
"I was wondering..." you pause as your mind tries to work quickly, "Since neither of us are going to sleep any time soon, maybe we could have that talk now? About what happened with your Jotun form?"
His body tenses and you worry you have made a mistake. Maybe you should have tried to lie about something else or just gone back to your room. After a long stretch of silence he finally nods.
"I never meant for you to see me that way, ever," he says as he shakes his head. Loki shifts, leaving an empty space between you both on the couch. It is only a few inches but it feels like he is miles away. "I wasn't thinking," he continues. "When I saw you surrounded by the flames I knew I needed to help you, to make sure you were safe and the fire was out but I hadn't intended to let... that out." He flinches when he refers to his Jotun form.
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"I guess maybe I just don't understand why you want to keep that part of you locked away," you move closer to him.
"The Jotun are monsters, Y/N," he states. "I'm a monster. My father- Odin," he quickly corrects himself, "Made that perfectly clear to Thor and me when we were growing up. He used to tell us stories about them, the same way humans tell their children ghost stories. Jotuns are too be feared and hated and I never wanted you to know that side of me. I don't want you to be afraid of me."
"I admit, I don't know the first thing about Jotuns," you reach for his hand. "But I know you." He looks at you, his eyes are full of pain. "I have never been afraid of you Loki, you know that. Even the first time we met... when you kinda threw me through a wall," you try to joke.
"I have apologized for that," he says defensively.
"I know, I was kidding," you try to explain but you obviously missed the mark. You sigh, "Loki, listen to me. You are not a monster, I don't care what that ass Odin said when you were a kid. You are the most caring person I have ever met. No one has ever treated me this kindly or has put so much effort into trying to understand me."
He smiles as you talk and you can see in his eyes he believes you. "I have met monsters, Loki," you remind him. "We both have fought them on our missions and you are nothing like them. You care too deeply to ever become anything like them."
You put your arms around him and rest your head against his chest. He hugs you back and quietly says, "Thank you, Y/N."
Loki closes his eyes, feeling himself relax for the first time since your nightmare. He takes a deep breath, fighting the urge to tilt your head up so he can press his lips to yours. He wants to be closer to you but instead he places a soft kiss on the top of your head. He cannot risk your friendship, especially not in this moment so he settles for any affection he can as you hug him tighter, your body pressed so perfectly against his.
"You are without a doubt, the best thing that has ever happened to me and I do know what I would do without you in my life," he says, meaning every word.
You smile, knowing how much Loki appreciates you and you feel guilty wishing for more. You want him to say that he loves you, that he wants you in his life as more than his friend but he doesn't and he won't. You push down the torn feelings you have and tell him, "I will always be here for you."
"And I will always be here for you, Y/N," he responds. His body aches to shift forward and seal your promises with a kiss but he still doesn't move.
After a few minutes of comfortable silence he says, "You need to get some rest. You've had a long night."
"We both have," your agree but you still aren't sure you will be able to sleep. You get up from the couch and walk back towards your room but you stop after only a few steps. You turn to look back at Loki and tell him, "I don't want to be alone."
"I'm here," he promises as he sits on your couch.
You bite your lip, holding back the words you want to say. You want to ask him to hold you while you sleep. He had made you feel so protected and safe after your panic attack and you need to feel like that again.
He gets up from the couch and walks towards you when you don't say anything in response. "Would you feel better if I slept in your room tonight?" he asks and you hear a hint of nervousness in his voice, not something you are used to with Loki.
The answer leaves your mouth before you even realize it, "Yes."
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You take Loki's hand and lead him into your room. Pulling back the covers you make eye contact with him and realize he looks almost as anxious as you feel. You lay on your side near the edge of the bed, facing away from Loki quietly as he gets in on the other side.
Loki's heart skips a beat with nervous excitement, he truthfully hadn't thought you would accept his offer. As much as he wants to hold you all night he is worried about what will happen after. He fears this will be the only time you allow him into your bed and he knows it will not be enough for him. One night spent near you could never be enough but he will savor every second.
An empty space forms between you and Loki for a few moments then you feel the mattress dip as he rolls over towards you. Without thinking, you shift closer to him and your breath catches when you feel his chest flush to your back. He drapes his arm over you, pulling you flush to his body.
"Is this okay?" he asks quietly in your ear, he hopes you can't feel how quickly his heart is beating.
"It's perfect," you smile, keeping your eyes closed tight, trying to etch this feeling into your mind. You lay completely still, feeling the way his legs tangle with yours loosely, feeling his chest rise and fall as he breaths slowly, your hand covers his which rests lightly on your stomach. You could stay cuddled in his arms forever but you know it won't last. Come morning, he will release you and you will return to sleeping alone.
"Can I ask you something?" you say a few minutes later in a low voice.
"You can ask me anything," he promises.
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I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚 Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!
@soubi001 @mochie85 @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @animnerd @cabingrlandrandomcrap @icytrickster17 @lokisgoodgirl @mischief2sarawr @stupidthoughtsinwriting @mjsthrillernp @holdmytesseract @lulubelle814 @goblingirlsarah @alexakeyloveloki @siconetribal @lokidokieokie @kneelingformyloki @jiyascepter @eleniblue @loreniscrying @muddyorbsblr @alyeskathewave @loz-3 @firedrakegirl @javagirl328 @princessdragon23 @morally-grey-variant @soulpiercing @km-ffluv @superficialdomina @irishhappiness @princess-ofthe-pages
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vbecker10 · 7 hours
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Today's randomness... enjoy 💚
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Vision: What does the phrase 'take out' refer to?
Bucky: It's when you go on a date
Thor: I thought it was when you got your food to go?
Loki: *sighs* It is clearly when you kill someone
Vision: This was not particularly helpful
Tony: Actually... they're all right
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I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚 Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!
@soubi001 @mochie85 @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @animnerd @cabingrlandrandomcrap @icytrickster17 @lokisgoodgirl @mischief2sarawr @stupidthoughtsinwriting @mjsthrillernp @holdmytesseract @lulubelle814 @goblingirlsarah @alexakeyloveloki @siconetribal @lokidokieokie @kneelingformyloki @jiyascepter @eleniblue @loreniscrying @muddyorbsblr @alyeskathewave @loz-3 @firedrakegirl @javagirl328 @princess-ofthe-pages @morally-grey-variant @soulpiercing @km-ffluv
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vbecker10 · 7 hours
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You Are My Home
Pairing: Loki x female reader (y/n)
Summary: Loki leaves you for a month to visit Asgard with Thor and you are more then excited to welcome him home.
A/N: This is not what I'm supposed to be working on right now but I listened to the song linked below on the way home and the damn thing just wrote itself... enjoy 💚
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In the two and a half years you and Loki have been together, this is by far the longest you have ever been apart. Loki would often spend a few days or even a week away on missions but today is day thirty without him. He and Thor returned to Asgard to take care of a political matter and you were both devastated to find out you would not be able to go with him. You had cried yourself to sleep in his arms the night before he left and you haven't slept a full night since.
You spent the whole day anxiously awaiting this moment, he is finally going to arrive any minute. Looking at yourself in the window, you check your makeup and hair for the hundredth time, wanting to look perfect for him. You smooth out the fabric on your favorite dress and smile, Loki bought it for you to wear for your first anniversary. It is a deep emerald green and fits your body as if it was made for you.
The wind picks up suddenly and your heart beats faster, you know instantly the Bifrost is opening. You turn away from the building and walk across the grass to wait closer to the open area where they will arrive. You can barely contain your excitement as the air around you buzzes. Lightning and streaks of bright colored lights pierce the thick clouds and burn into the dried grass behind the Avengers Compound.
You force yourself to stay where you are until the wind ties down and the lights fade. You see two tall figures standing in the center of a charred spiral.
"Loki!" your legs immediately carry you towards him.
"Y/N!" he answers, his voice full of joy as he quickly moves to meet you. He pulls you into a tight hug, lifting you easily off the ground as he spins, making you giggle. You wrap your arms around his neck and press your lips to his desperately, as if you are trying to make up for all of the kisses you two have missed out on in the last month.
"Gods, how I've missed you," he says when you break the kiss, he puts you down and keeps his arms around you.
"I missed you every second you were gone," you tell him honestly. "Promise me if you ever go home again, you'll take me with you."
He raises one hand to stroke your cheek lightly, "Asgard is many things, my dear, but I don't call it home anymore."
You look at him curiously and he smiles, "I was going to wait to do this until tonight but I don't want to wait another moment."
He looks over his shoulder at his older brother who smiles at you both and takes a few steps away.
You cover your mouth with your left hand as your heart pounds quickly in your chest. "Loki?" you barely whisper in disbelief as he take a small step away from you and gets down on one knee.
A small ring box appears in one hand with a green flash and he takes your right hand in his other hand.
"Y/N, home is where you are and every night I spent alone on Asgard was worth it to come back to you. You are my home, you are my everything when I feel alone. You are my shelter when all my hope is gone. You are my heart, you are the one I want to spend every minute of every day with. I love you with every fiber of my being," he says as he looks up at you. "Y/N, my love, my queen. Will you make me the happiest man in the nine realms by becoming my wife?"
"Yes! Yes," you say excitedly as Loki stands. "I love you," you tell him as he slips the most beautiful ring you have ever seen onto your finger.
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I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚
@soubi001 @michelleleewise @harlequin-hangout @ace-of-gay @xorpsbane @mochie85 @sheris532 @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @kkdvkyya @animnerd @peaches1958 @peachyjinx @lokiandbuckysdoll @winterfrostlovetriangle @high-functioning-lokipath @winniewings @pics-and-fanfics @cabingrlandrandomcrap @icytrickster17 @lokisgoodgirl @mischief2sarawr @stupidthoughtsinwriting @mjsthrillernp @holdmytesseract @lulubelle814 @crimson25 @goblingirlsarah @janineb86 @simone818283 @tonystank8 @im-briana-stan @foxherder @chantsdemarins @catsladen @alexakeyloveloki @siconetribal @lokidokieokie @dragonmurray @honeydew3064 @malfoycassimalfoy @kneelingformyloki @newtomofgods @jiyascepter @eleniblue
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vbecker10 · 8 hours
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I Don't Hate You
Pairing: Loki x female reader (y/n)
Summary: You've worked at SHIELD for years and you were severely injured by Loki when he escaped from his cell on the helicarrier. It's been a year since the attack on NY and one day you finally cross paths with Loki after a month of him actively avoiding you.
Warning: Loki being upset, Loki feeling guilty, Loki feeling like he deserves to be hated, brief mentions of Loki's torture, previous injury caused by Loki... this will have a fluffy end, promise 💚
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You shift positions to get more comfortable on the couch then turn the page of your book. I might be able read this whole book tonight, you think excitedly. The Tower was quiet which was a rare occurrence, the whole team decided to go out for drinks so you have the library to yourself. After a moment, you turn the next page but suddenly you feel as if you aren't alone.
Looking up, you see Loki standing in the doorway as if he is frozen with anxiety. He briefly makes eye contact with you and turns to leave.
"Wait," you sit up, closing your book in your lap. "You can stay," you offer and he turns back to face you. "There's plenty of space," you gesture towards the other empty couch.
"I wouldn't want to disturb you," he says, shaking his head as he remains halfway between the hall and the room.
You sigh quietly, that's the first thing he's said to you in the month since you've been back from medical leave. Loki had become almost an expert in avoiding you, the closest you had come to being in the same room with him was during a briefing last week. As soon as you took your seat at the table, he excused himself and left.
He nods in response to your offer to join you but doesn't say anything. He quietly makes his way over to the large bookcases that line the wall and begins to search for a book. You try to focus on where you left off in yours but you can't seem to take your eyes off him. He seems so nervous around you and although you aren't sure what you expected from him, this wasn't it.
He selects a book and walks to the far end of the other couch, glancing towards you as he sits. You both quickly look away from each other and try to settle into your books. After a few minutes of silence he sighs and closes the book. You pretend to continue reading as you watch him return his book and begin the process of selecting one again.
"Can't decide what to read?" you ask after a moment.
He turns, his expression clearing showing that he doesn't expect you to speak to him. He shrugs, "I've read all of these..." He looks at the book he is currently holding, "Some more then a few times."
"Oh," you look at the tall, full shelves. There must be four hundred books in this room. "Wow," you react honestly.
"I read quickly," he offers a simple explanation.
"Why don't you get new ones?" you ask as if the solution is obvious.
He puts the book he is holding away and looks down at the ground, "I'm not permitted to leave the Tower unless its for a mission." He pulls a seemingly random book from the shelf and walks over to the closest seat on the other couch this time.
"Right, I forgot I guess," you suddenly feel awkward for suggesting it.
Loki was given strick orders not to leave the Tower after an incident a few months before you returned from medical leave. He had gone to a small Cafe with his brother in the morning and ended up on the news a few hours later. According to the reports you watched from rehab, he had been on line waiting for his order when a woman who lost her husband during his attack on NYC came in. She walked over to him and started screaming that he was a monster and should be rotting in a cell on whatever planet he came from. Thor tried to defuse the situation while Loki remained completely silent. Her rant finally ended when she threw some bystanders coffee at him and he left.
The two of you sit in silence for a minute then you suddenly get an idea. "Oh," you say and he looks up from the book he has no interest in.
"I think I have something that can help," you tell him. You limp slowly towards him as you unlock your phone. Sitting next to him, you feel self conscious when he shifts away from you, his eyes fixed on the metal brace supporting your leg.
His jaw tightens and his body tenses as he rubs his hands slowly together. You clear your throat, hoping to distract him from your injury and it works. He looks at you, "Here," you hand him your phone.
"What is this?" he asks.
"Its the New York Public Library," you tell him, "Well, their website at least."
He looks at you a bit confused. "What am I supposed to do with this? I'm not allowed to go to the library," he says.
"You don't need to go," you tell him with a smile. "They can bring the books here."
"I wonder why no one told you about this. They've had this for years," you say.
His eyes fill with excitement at the thought of being able to get new books. You explain the book delivery program then show him how to search for books by author, title or genre. His smile spreads as you sign him up for a library card then sit back to watch him scroll through a long list of poets.
The smile leaves his face and he admits, "I never told anyone that I had run out of books."
"Why not?" you ask.
"No one would care," he answers instantly.
When you don't say anything, he looks up from your phone and briefly makes eye contact with you. "I don't understand why you of all people would care enough to help me, to be honest. I have done nothing to deserve even the smallest kindness from you," he says as his eyes fall to your injured leg again. The joy you had seen on his face moments ago has faded completely and in a low voice he says, "I nearly killed you."
With a sigh, he nods, "I remember everyone I've hurt... or killed."
You're caught off guard by the sudden shift in topics but say, "I thought you remembered me."
"Can we just talk for a minute?" you ask, standing with him.
You gently reach out and touch his knee, causing him to jump at the sudden contact. "I'm sorry," he says as soon as you touch him. "I should go," he tells you and he gets up.
He shakes his head. "I'm not supposed to be alone with you," he admits. "Fury wants me as far from my..." he clears his throat, "victims as possible while I am here."
He looks torn about what to do but finally nods and sits down heavily. You sit next to him again but he doesn't look at you, his eyes are fixed on his hands. His knee shakes nervously and you realize he's waiting for you to lash out at him as so many people have in the wake of the attack.
"I- I didn't realize he did that," you say in shock. "I thought you were just avoiding me because of... well because of what happened."
He shrugs but doesn't respond, giving you the feeling that he might still have distanced himself from you even if he wasn't ordered to do so.
You bite your lip and say, "I'm sure Fury means well but... I just want to talk to you. If that's okay with you?"
You had imagined this moment so many times over the last year. What you would say to him and how he would react. You look at him even as he avoids looking at you and say, "I just want to to know, I don't hate you for what happened."
He shakes his head as if he doesn't believe you and says, "You should hate me, everyone does."
"I don't," you tell him simply.
He finally looks at you, a mixture of disbelief and curiosity in his eyes, "How could you not after what I did to you and so many others?"
You sigh and admit, "I used to hate you."
"But... but not anymore?" he asks.
You take a deep breath, this is the part you practiced telling him most often. "When I was in the hospital, I did hate you. I hated you more then I ever thought I could possibly hate another person. I wanted you to feel the pain and fear you inflicted on me when you were escaping. I wanted you to suffer after every surgery, after every fall I had in rehab, after every doctor told me I would never walk without some sort of brace," you tell him honestly and he nods as if he agrees with you.
You pause for a moment and wait for him to look at you again, "It was truly exhausting."
He doesn't say anything but he keeps eye contact with you. "It took so much energy to hate to," you tell him. "It was draining me."
"A few months after my first surgery, I had some of the agents I'm friends with being over your case files and I watched all your news interviews," you continue to explain.
"Why?" he asks, his voice filled with concern.
"I wanted to know if you were as evil as everyone said, if you were really a monster from another world who deserved to be hated," you tell him.
"I am a monster," he says, his eyes lowering to the ground in front of him.
His body tenses as soon as you mention Thanos's name. His eyes widen in fear and he says, "What do you know about- how could you know that? My SHIELD files doesn't contain any information about him."
"No," you tell him, touching his arm lightly and he looks up at you slowly. "You're not a monster, you're a victim of Thanos."
You fidget nervously at his reaction and say, "I... I found the restricted files SHIELD has about you, the ones with your interview-"
He gets up suddenly, his voice laced emotion but you are unsure if he is angry, hurt or embarrassed, "You read that?"
You nod, "I'm sorry-"
"No one was supposed to be able to access that. Fury said it would be sealed, that was why I agreed to tell my brother what happened," he says as he paces. He turns to face you and you can see he is holding back tears, "You shouldn't have read that. I don't want anyone to know what he did to me."
You had read all twenty six pages of the typed transcripts and listened to hours of Loki detailing his torture to Thor. He spoke about being physically hurt but also about being mentally broken by the mad titan. He lost track of time, unsure if weeks, months or years had passed while he was under Thanos's control. By the time you finished listening to his account of what happened, you had lost every ounce of hate you once harbored for him. He was more a victim than anyone.
You take a step towards him and he takes a step back, shaking his head. You reach for his hand and he lets you hold it without pulling away. "Loki," he looks at you, the first tear running down his cheek. "I'm sorry Thanos tortured you," you tell him honestly.
He shakes his head as if he can't accept your words.
You take another step towards him, still holding his hand in yours. "I'm sorry he hurt you," you say again and this time he doesn't move away from you.
"No one..." he tries to take a deep breath, "No one has ever said that to me before."
Now it's your turn to be shocked, "Not even your brother?"
He shakes his head and without thinking, you wrap your arms around him tightly. His whole body stiffens in response at first but slowly, he lifts his arms to hug you back and his body relaxes against yours. He rests his head on your shoulder and you rub his back gently.
You hold him until he slowly pulls away. Taking his hand again, you lead him back to the couch.
"You didn't deserve anything that he did to you," you tell him. When he looks at you, you can't help but raise your hand, wiping a tear from his cheek. He closes his eyes and leans into your soft touch.
He opens his eyes after a moment and quietly says, "Thank you Y/N. I'm so tired of everyone hating me. I never thought anyone would ever try to understand what happened to me."
You smile at him and quickly kiss his cheek, which is a surprise to both of you. "What was that for?" he asks, a small laugh escapes him.
He smiles and nods, "Can you do it again?"
"I don't know," you admit with a nervous giggle, "I just... It felt like something I should do. I'm sorry, was that okay?"
You smile and kiss his cheek again, "Is that making you feeling better?"
"For the first time in a very long time, yes," he says.
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I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚
@soubi001 @michelleleewise @harlequin-hangout @ace-of-gay @xorpsbane @mochie85 @sheris532 @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @kkdvkyya @animnerd @peaches1958 @peachyjinx @lokiandbuckysdoll @winterfrostlovetriangle @high-functioning-lokipath @winniewings @pics-and-fanfics @cabingrlandrandomcrap @icytrickster17 @lokisgoodgirl @mischief2sarawr @stupidthoughtsinwriting @mjsthrillernp @holdmytesseract @lulubelle814 @crimson25 @goblingirlsarah @janineb86 @simone818283 @tonystank8 @im-briana-stan @foxherder @chantsdemarins @catsladen @alexakeyloveloki @siconetribal @lokidokieokie @dragonmurray @honeydew3064 @malfoycassimalfoy @kneelingformyloki @newtomofgods @jiyascepter @eleniblue
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vbecker10 · 12 hours
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Talk to Me (Part 3)
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 4 (in progress)
Pairing: Loki x female reader (Y/N)
Summary: Your mind is racing in too many directions and you have no answers. Are your nightmares are returning? Will Loki pull away now that you saw his Jotun form? Will you ever get the courage to tell him you love him?
Meanwhile, Loki battles with similar concerns. What can he do to ensure you feel safe and keep away your nightmares? How will he explain his Jotun form to you without you thinking he's a monster? Will you ever love him the way he loves you?
Warnings: anxiety, feeling of being alone, fear of running a friendship, Loki being insecure about being a frost giant... soooo much angst I'm sorry lol
A/N: Don't worry, Part 4 is the last part and I'm going to post it a day or so after I post this so you won't have to wait too long 💚
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His smile vanishes and he immediately shifts back into his Asgardian form, pulling his fingers free from your other hand. "I'm sorry," he says nervously as he gets up and walks away from you.
"For what?" you ask getting up but he ignores you. "Wait, Loki," you call as he heads towards his bedroom and pauses under the door frame. You walk towards him and say, "Please don't do that. Don't shut me out." You slip your hand into his and he looks at you. "You promised you would talk to me, remember?"
He sighs, "I did promise that, didn't I?"
You nod and try to smile, hoping he will open up to you. You are always worried Loki will retreat behind the walls you've worked so hard to break down.
A small smile tugs at his lips and he says, "I don't know what I did to deserve such a fiercely devoted friend."
You shrug and hold your forced smile as you feel a twinge of pain in your chest when he refers to you simply as his friend.
"We will talk in the morning, I promise," he says as he moves to pull you into a hug. "You need to rest."
You nod and let go of his hand, turning towards the living area. Your heart sinks and you feel a wave of a guilt and concern when you see the state of the couch for the first time. The blanket Loki had given you is in a pile on the floor but you can see several large holes burned into it. The fabric of the cushions are singed far worse than you thought and the wall behind the couch is lightly coated in ash and smoke.
"I didn't realize it was this bad," you say in a stunned voice. You cover your mouth in shock as you realize how close you had come to making your nightmare a reality. Looking at Loki, you lower your hand, "I'm so sorry." You begin the fight to hold back the tears that swiftly push their way to the surface.
"You have nothing to be sorry about," he puts his arms around you, turning you away from the couch. "It is just a piece of furniture," he waves one hand towards the couch. With a light green glow, the blanket vanishes from sight, both the couch and wall return to their previous, un-burnt state. Loki rubs your back in a soothing manner and you lift your head to look up at him. A single tear escapes and he wipes it away before you can hide it from him. "The important thing is that you are okay," he tells you with a caring look.
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Loki offers to walk you back to your room and you quickly agree, still feeling the lingering nervousness from your panic attack and nightmare, you are not ready to be alone yet.
As you walk down the hall quietly, his fingers brush against the back of your hand lightly. You want to take his hand but you are unsure how he will react. Would he squeeze your hand as your ever supportive friend then let go as he had done many times before? Would he pull away from you with the forced, polite smile you've seen him use in dozens of interviews? He still seems a bit distant after you had seen his Jotun form, what if he didn't want to be close to you now?
Loki looks down at how closely your hands are and wishes he could reach out for yours. He tries to picture the smile that would light up your face if he was to take your hand and bring it to his lips, kissing your soft skin lightly.
When you reach your door, you pause briefly before opening it.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
"I'm afraid to go back to sleep," you admit. "I haven't been in so long but I just... what if it happens again? What if the nightmares are coming back? I don't want to go back to the way it was."
"I'm sure it was just a one time thing. You were over tired from your mission and we both know you have been under a lot of stress lately," Loki tries to reassure you but he can tell it does nothing to ease your fear. He understands better than anyone in the Tower how your nightmares had affected you.
You would stay awake for days at a time when he first met you, fearful that if you closed your eyes for even a second the dreams would return. Loki had helped you discover that your nightmares were triggered by your anxiety, stress and exhaustion. Unfortunately, this meant the more tired or worried you were, the more likely it would be that your sleep would be interrupted.
"Last time they started it was just like this," you tell him. You begin to fear that you were wrong to think your issues sleeping were truly behind you.
Loki is quiet for a moment, one of his hands settles on your lower back gently and he moves it up and down slowly while he thinks. "Would you feel more comfortable if I stayed?" he offers for the first time since your nightmares subsided months ago.
"Yes," you answer without thinking. "I mean... if you don't mind, I know my couch isn't really that great. You're way too tall for it," you hold back a smile remembering the last time Loki feel asleep there, his long legs hanging off the end of what was more of a love seat than a couch.
Loki takes a step towards you, his fingers touching your chin to gently raise your eyes to meet his, "Have you ever known me to offer to do something if i didn't want to do it?"
"No," you smile, feeling a blush creep up your cheeks at how close he is standing to you. You hope he doesn't notice but the way his eyes flicker to your cheeks you know he did.
You open your door and he takes your hand as if it was the most natural thing he has ever done. It is hard to focus on anything other than the feeling of his thumb running slowly along your knuckles. You follow him into your apartment without another word.
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You tell him you will find him an extra pillow but as soon as the words leave your lips he smirks and you remember who you are talking to. "Don't worry, I've got them," he responds as he conjures a pillow and blanket to place on the couch.
"Right," you smile awkwardly. You wait a moment but when he sits on the couch you realize he isn't planning on giving you a hug before you leave him for the night. You always need just one more hug but you can't bring yourself to ask for one right now.
"Sleep well, Y/N," he tells you.
"Goodnight Loki," you lift your hand to give him a small wave before disappearing into your room.
You lay on your bed and pull the sheets tightly around yourself but you couldn't feel any more awake. The second you close your eyes, your heart races as the faded memories of your nightmare flash across your mind. You open them quickly and look up at the bare ceiling with a groan. You try to push aside your fear that the nightmares are returning, hoping that Loki is right.
Loki... your thoughts stray to the God curled up in your living room. Why had he been so upset when you saw his Jotun form? That's who he truly is, isn't it? He shouldn't be ashamed of that or try to hide it from everyone, you think. But even if he doesn't want the whole world to see him, that shouldn't include you, should it? You weren't just anyone, you were his friend, his best friend. The person he had promised to share everything with. Maybe you aren't as close as you think, maybe that is a part of himself he will never share with you. Or maybe he is waiting to share it with someone he loves and trusts but that person isn't you, you think as you roll over, clinging to your pillow.
Loki conjures a book and lays on your couch with one arm behind his head. He is comfortable enough with his legs bent to fit better on the small piece of furniture but he feels as if something is missing. He realizes he is missing how it felt to have his arms around you, he hadn't hugged you goodnight as he typically would and it left a hollow feeling in his chest. He didn't want to add any more fuel to your already fearful mind and he is unsure how you will truly feel about his Jotun form once you are more rested and able to absorb what you saw.
He closes his book and places it on your coffee table, knowing he will be unable to focus on reading tonight. He is too angry with himself for slipping and revealing his Jotun form. Loki wants nothing more than to have you feel comfortable with him, how could have risked everything like that? How could he have been so stupid and reckless? You were at your most vulnerable and you needed him but he turned into a monster, he scolds himself. What if the sight of him had scared you? You could have hurt yourself with your powers and he knows he would never have been able to forgive himself for that.
He looks up, his attention pulled towards the sound of your bedroom door opening. Sitting up, Loki asks, "Are you okay?"
You shrug and put your arms around yourself. You aren't sure how to explain to Loki how lonely and anxious you feel.
"Do you want to sit out here with me for a bit?" he asks, patting the cushion next to him invitingly.
You nod and sit next to him, he moves the blanket to cover both of your laps and he puts his arm around your shoulders. Instantly, you feel some of the tension begin to leave your body as you relax a bit. "I know I need to sleep but I just can't," you tell him. "It's like my mind won't shut off. I feel bad keeping you awake like this, I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry," he tells you sincerely. "You stayed awake with me plenty of times when we were working through my nightmares. You are the only reason I am able to sleep now," he reminds you. "What kind of friend would I be if I didn't do the same for you?"
"Thank you Loki," you look up at him with a small, forced smile.
"That is not all that is wrong though, is it?" he asks but you shake your head. "I know you Y/N," he touches your cheek. "I know there is something aren't saying."
You look down, fidgeting with your fingers, you can't help but hate and love how well he knows you. You know you need to tell him something or he will keep asking what is wrong. How are you supposed to tell him your smile faltered because you dislike being reminded that you are nothing more than his friend?
"I was wondering..." you pause as your mind tries to work quickly, "Since neither of us are going to sleep any time soon, maybe we could have that talk now? About what happened with your Jotun form?"
His body tenses and you worry you have made a mistake. Maybe you should have tried to lie about something else or just gone back to your room. After a long stretch of silence he finally nods.
"I never meant for you to see me that way, ever," he says as he shakes his head. Loki shifts, leaving an empty space between you both on the couch. It is only a few inches but it feels like he is miles away. "I wasn't thinking," he continues. "When I saw you surrounded by the flames I knew I needed to help you, to make sure you were safe and the fire was out but I hadn't intended to let... that out." He flinches when he refers to his Jotun form.
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"I guess maybe I just don't understand why you want to keep that part of you locked away," you move closer to him.
"The Jotun are monsters, Y/N," he states. "I'm a monster. My father- Odin," he quickly corrects himself, "Made that perfectly clear to Thor and me when we were growing up. He used to tell us stories about them, the same way humans tell their children ghost stories. Jotuns are too be feared and hated and I never wanted you to know that side of me. I don't want you to be afraid of me."
"I admit, I don't know the first thing about Jotuns," you reach for his hand. "But I know you." He looks at you, his eyes are full of pain. "I have never been afraid of you Loki, you know that. Even the first time we met... when you kinda threw me through a wall," you try to joke.
"I have apologized for that," he says defensively.
"I know, I was kidding," you try to explain but you obviously missed the mark. You sigh, "Loki, listen to me. You are not a monster, I don't care what that ass Odin said when you were a kid. You are the most caring person I have ever met. No one has ever treated me this kindly or has put so much effort into trying to understand me."
He smiles as you talk and you can see in his eyes he believes you. "I have met monsters, Loki," you remind him. "We both have fought them on our missions and you are nothing like them. You care too deeply to ever become anything like them."
You put your arms around him and rest your head against his chest. He hugs you back and quietly says, "Thank you, Y/N."
Loki closes his eyes, feeling himself relax for the first time since your nightmare. He takes a deep breath, fighting the urge to tilt your head up so he can press his lips to yours. He wants to be closer to you but instead he places a soft kiss on the top of your head. He cannot risk your friendship, especially not in this moment so he settles for any affection he can as you hug him tighter, your body pressed so perfectly against his.
"You are without a doubt, the best thing that has ever happened to me and I do know what I would do without you in my life," he says, meaning every word.
You smile, knowing how much Loki appreciates you and you feel guilty wishing for more. You want him to say that he loves you, that he wants you in his life as more than his friend but he doesn't and he won't. You push down the torn feelings you have and tell him, "I will always be here for you."
"And I will always be here for you, Y/N," he responds. His body aches to shift forward and seal your promises with a kiss but he still doesn't move.
After a few minutes of comfortable silence he says, "You need to get some rest. You've had a long night."
"We both have," your agree but you still aren't sure you will be able to sleep. You get up from the couch and walk back towards your room but you stop after only a few steps. You turn to look back at Loki and tell him, "I don't want to be alone."
"I'm here," he promises as he sits on your couch.
You bite your lip, holding back the words you want to say. You want to ask him to hold you while you sleep. He had made you feel so protected and safe after your panic attack and you need to feel like that again.
He gets up from the couch and walks towards you when you don't say anything in response. "Would you feel better if I slept in your room tonight?" he asks and you hear a hint of nervousness in his voice, not something you are used to with Loki.
The answer leaves your mouth before you even realize it, "Yes."
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You take Loki's hand and lead him into your room. Pulling back the covers you make eye contact with him and realize he looks almost as anxious as you feel. You lay on your side near the edge of the bed, facing away from Loki quietly as he gets in on the other side.
Loki's heart skips a beat with nervous excitement, he truthfully hadn't thought you would accept his offer. As much as he wants to hold you all night he is worried about what will happen after. He fears this will be the only time you allow him into your bed and he knows it will not be enough for him. One night spent near you could never be enough but he will savor every second.
An empty space forms between you and Loki for a few moments then you feel the mattress dip as he rolls over towards you. Without thinking, you shift closer to him and your breath catches when you feel his chest flush to your back. He drapes his arm over you, pulling you flush to his body.
"Is this okay?" he asks quietly in your ear, he hopes you can't feel how quickly his heart is beating.
"It's perfect," you smile, keeping your eyes closed tight, trying to etch this feeling into your mind. You lay completely still, feeling the way his legs tangle with yours loosely, feeling his chest rise and fall as he breaths slowly, your hand covers his which rests lightly on your stomach. You could stay cuddled in his arms forever but you know it won't last. Come morning, he will release you and you will return to sleeping alone.
"Can I ask you something?" you say a few minutes later in a low voice.
"You can ask me anything," he promises.
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vbecker10 · 19 hours
Text
Oh hell... I didn't think was going to survive reading this one... damn is it good!
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Caught You
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MASTERLIST
Pairing: Loki x F!reader
Words: 4012
Warnings/Content: SMUT; Themes of dub-con, dark-ish Loki??, dom!Loki, pervy!Loki, possessive, jealous loki, use of loki's magic, restraints, biting, licking, aggressive loki, praise, slight degradation, there's a tattoo on y/n's thigh (for the plot!), other mcu characters also make an appearance, clit licking, fingering, overstimulation, p in v.
Please lmk if I missed anything! Loki is a bit of red-flaggy in this one, please keep in mind this is only a fanfiction.
Summary: When you make fun of Loki's magic, he "demonstrates" how his magic can be useful. In many, ehm..ways. What did you expect?
A/n: i moved the title in the corner so that i can keep seeing tommys's sexy face in the middle 😮‍💨 im trying to make my fics dirtier but it's not quite coming down in my works, like it's in my mind but it's not easy to express??? im trying & hopefully it'll come soon
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The cavernous, dimly-lit warehouse echoed with the sounds of clashing metal and grunts of exertion. The Avengers were locked in combat with a band of mercenaries armed with advanced weaponry.
Tony was in the air, repulsor beams lighting up the darkness, while Natasha and Clint worked in tandem, their movements precise and deadly. Thor’s hammer, Mjölnir, was a blur as it struck down the enemies with thunderous force.
In the midst of the chaos, Loki stood with an air of detached amusement, casting spells with flicks of his wrists. His magic sent mercenaries flying, created illusions to confuse their ranks, and conjured barriers to protect the teammates. But Loki's magic, powerful and unpredictable, was also a bit reckless tonight.
Maybe it was the leather suit you were wearing today.
"Loki, for the love of—watch where you're aiming!" You shouted as you narrowly avoided being hit by a stray spell meant for an enemy.
Your eyes flashed with annoyance as you shot him a glare. "Are you trying to get us all killed?"
Loki smirked, eyeing you up, not taking you seriously. "Perhaps if you were more attentive, you wouldn't find yourself in such precarious positions, darling."
You scowled and ducked under a swipe from a mercenary, retaliating with a swift punch that sent your opponent sprawling.
Ugh, you hated how he always carried that stupid smirk.
"Maybe if your magic was actually useful, we wouldn't be in precarious positions to begin with!"
Loki's eyes narrowed slightly, a spark of irritation flashing through his otherwise calm demeanor. "Is that so? I seem to recall saving you from a similar predicament just last week."
"By causing it in the first place!" You shot back, dodging another mercenary's attack and taking him down with a well-placed kick. 
Loki rolls his eyes and runs in the other direction. With a flick of his wrist, he conjured an illusion, making a group of mercenaries see each other as Avengers.
Confused, they turned on one another, giving the team a moment of respite. But the spell was too potent, and soon the illusion spread, affecting even the teammates. 
Chaos erupted as friends and foes became indistinguishable. 
"What the—" Tony exclaimed while flying over the scene. 
"Damn it, Loki!" You screamed, ducking, as Natasha took a swing at you, mistaking you for an enemy.
"Enough!" Thor bellowed, his hammer smashing into the ground to create a shockwave that knocked everyone off their feet and dispelled the illusion.
The mercenaries, now disoriented, were quickly subdued.
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The flight back home was quiet. Everyone was either tired, tending to their wounds, or just rethinking what happened back there. 
Once you landed, the rest of the Avengers stepped down the Quinjet and walked into the building to their rooms. 
"Loki, wait." Steve calls out and walks towards Loki in the lobby.
“About today—”
“Nobody died, Rogers.” Loki replies. 
"That is not an achievement," You murmur to yourself loudly on purpose for him to hear while taking a sip from your favourite grey-coloured sipper. 
Loki and Steve both glanced at you, with Steve carrying a hint of a smile on his face while Loki scowled and turned back to Steve.
You could tell he was not impressed. 
A win for you.
Steve clears his throat, turning serious once more. "Look, what happened today was not good. We cannot work as a team if we don't know half of your tricks."
Loki grins. "Well, that's the fun, isn't it? A surprise for everyone.”
Steve raises his eyebrows. "But it isn’t helping, Lo-"
"Helping? His magic is useless half the time."
Loki shoots an eye at you when you say that, and you could tell the God wasn't pleased.
"He's showing off in front of everyone, like the arrogant ass he is." You go on, while Loki watches you with his grave, sharp eyes.
Why wasn't he replying with his usual snarky comments today? 
Steve gives a light chuckle and pats Loki's shoulder as if feeling sorry for him, "Be careful next time, that's all I ask," and walks away through the corridor, leaving you and Loki to yourselves.
While waiting for the elevator, you silently stand in front of the doors, waiting for it to arrive.
Until you feel a hard pressure against your back.
The sensation is unmistakable—a solid, unyielding presence, warm and firm. Loki's chest. His closeness sends an involuntary shiver down your spine. You can feel the steady rise and fall of his breath and subtle heat radiating through his clothes.
You stiffen, unsure whether to move away or stay still, the elevator's arrival feeling like an eternity away.
You decide to say something to break the uncomfortable silence.
"Ego broken, Loki~?" You say his name in a sing-song voice.
"Do you enjoy testing my patience, mortal?" he says, leaning down to your ear.
"Someone has to keep you in check," you reply, your voice steady despite the proximity.
The elevator reaches your floor, and with a little chime, its doors open. You proceed to take a step forward to enter the elevator when his hand grabs hold of the back side of your neck and pulls you back to him.
"Careful," he almost whispers, his breath ghosting over your skin, "your tongue is going to get you in trouble one day."
You pause for a moment, feeling the tension thicken in the air, before you turn your head out of his hands to look at him. "Oh, I'm sorry, did I hurt the big bad trickster's feelings?" You taunt, your voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Maybe if your magic wasn't so unreliable, we wouldn't be in these messes. Or do you need Daddy Odin to give you some pointers on how to actually be useful?"
Loki's eyes flare with fury, and in no time he grabs your neck once again and strides into the elevator, pinning your head to the panels. His body pressed against yours with a force that left little room for doubt about his intensity.
His frame, tall and lean yet undeniably strong, exerting a commanding presence as he pins you against the cool metal of the elevator wall. You can feel the heat emanating from his body, a stark contrast to the chill of the metal against your cheek. 
He was so close to you, you could smell his sultry, intoxicating smell on him.
"You think my magic is useless, don’t you..." He whispers, his breath ghosting on your skin. "I’ll make sure you regret saying that."
"I don't "think", it's a fact." You try to push him back with your elbow. “Let me go, Loki.” You say it firmly. 
"Not yet, vixen." He says so, and the elevator doors shut by themselves. And with one flick of his fingers, the front chain of your tight leather suit yanked open down to the end of your belly.
Did he just–
"I’ll make sure to demonstrate how useful my magic can be." He says and looks down to notice you were not even wearing a bra underneath.
He grins at the sight, licking his lower lip. "Naughty girl." He coos in your ear while his fingers work their way to your belly. 
His fingers, though possessing a hint of coldness at first, quickly warmed against your skin as they made contact with your belly. Each touch sent a jolt of electricity through you, igniting a fire that danced just beneath the surface. 
"Let. Me. Go." You say, trying to stand your ground, but your attempts are futile. 
"Told you no, darling." He says while his fingers trailed up to your nipples, sending a shiver down your spine as goosebumps rose in their wake.
It was a sensation that left you feeling exposed and vulnerable, yet strangely exhilarated by the raw intensity of his touch. 
He slides down your suit from your shoulders, proceeding with a graze of his tongue on your skin. 
"Mmm…sweet," he murmurs, sucking on your shoulder, "unlike those words you use."
"FUCK. YOU." You reply with a gruff.
Loki chuckles darkly against your skin, his breath hot and tantalizing. "Oh, darling, you will," he murmurs, his voice dripping with seductive menace. "But not before I teach you to respect a God."
He pulls down your suit lower, his lips kissing the back of your neck, followed by melty little kisses down your bareback. Despite your discontent, you couldn’t help but feel turned on by him.
As Loki pushes down your suit to your thighs, his eyes catch sight of a small tattoo etched on the inside of your thigh. The ink reads the name of your ex-boyfriend. Loki's eyes darken with a mix of curiosity and possessiveness. 
He paused, his brows furrowing as he read the name inked there. "Well, well, well," he murmured, his voice a mix of curiosity and disdain. "So that’s what your little skirt was hinting at the meeting a few days ago..."
He traced the tattoo lightly with his finger, sending a shiver through your body.
So this bastard was always watching you?
You grit your teeth, anger and embarrassment flushing through you. "It’s none of your business, Loki."
He tightens his grip on your neck slightly—not enough to hurt, but enough to assert his dominance. "I know."
"But this mark... it irks me. An insignificant mortal claiming a part of you." He pinches your thigh, and you try to jerk away your leg but cannot. 
You squirmed against his grip, but he held you firmly, his eyes dark and intense as they bore into yours. "Let it go, Loki," you demanded, trying to maintain your composure.
He leaned closer, his lips brushing against the tattoo. "Why should I?" he whispered, his voice a dangerous purr. "Why should I let some forgotten lover's mark go unchallenged?"
He gives you a rather harsh bite on your shoulder, trailing his lips to kiss your neck, which makes you whimper, which makes him grin.
He pulls away a bit, and with the flick of his wrists, an invisible force pins your arms above your head, securing you in place against the elevator wall. You struggle briefly, but the bonds hold firm. Loki steps back, his eyes raking over your exposed form with a predatory gaze.
Before you could retort, he bent down, turning his body against the elevator and facing you from below. He kissed the tattoo with deliberate slowness, his lips soft and maddeningly sensual.
The act was both possessive and teasing, with his tongue swirling repeatedly on the same spot that was making you crazy. You gasped, the sensation overwhelming, and a part of you hated how your body responded to his touch. 
"Shh, people can still hear us, darling. Even if they cannot enter." He says placing pecks up and down your thigh, evaporating your steady facade away.
"Now, let's see what other secrets you're hiding," he murmurs, his hands sliding down to your hips. He hooks his fingers under the waistband of your panties, slowly pulling them down and exposing you completely.
You saw his eyes almost sparkle at the sight, placing a kiss on your mound, making you flinch against the metal. Where and when did your suit disappear? You didn’t know.
He leans close and starts exploring your already wet clit with his tongue. Holding your waist in his hands, he kept stealing glances up at your aroused form, watching your expressions while you gasped every time his warm tongue darted on your needy pussy.
The god had a talent for his tongue. The silver tongue. 
"Are you still with him?" He murmured, pulling away his face from your pussy, making you let out a complaining whine.
He holds up his two fingers to caress your folds. "Answer."
"N-no…" You answer, your voice quivering in pleasure.
"Then why isn’t it off?" He says this, glancing at your tattoo.
"I never…Loki-"
He pushes two fingers in. "You never what?"
You shudder as Loki's fingers push inside you, his question hanging in the air, demanding an answer. Your mind races, caught between the intense pleasure and the need to explain yourself.
"I never... had the chance," you manage to gasp, your voice barely steady. "It didn't mean anything anymore. I just...fuck-forgot about it."
Loki's eyes narrow slightly as he studies your face, his fingers moving slowly inside you, curling and stroking in a way that makes coherent thoughts nearly impossible. He doesn't seem entirely convinced.
"Forgot about it?" he repeats, his voice low and dangerous. "Or perhaps you wanted a reminder of something you couldn't let go?" 
"No…" You moan, writhing against the panel with your hands above your head, your fingers aching to dive into his hair. 
He starts to pump his fingers in and out of you with a deliberate rhythm, his thumb circling your clit with maddening precision. You squirm, your faint moans echoing the elevator.
"Good," he murmurs, his voice a seductive purr. "Because I don't share, darling. And I don't like to be reminded of what once was."
You moan, your body arching against his touch. His words send a thrill through you, and the possessiveness in his tone both intimidating and exhilarating.
"You know I can just turn you into a pretty mannequin for me so I can do whatever I want with you…but I want to feel you squirm... to mewl... like a little prey." He says watching your face while feeling your pussy start to clench around his fingers.
"Now, let's make sure you never forget who you belong to, hm?" Loki whispers, his lips brushing against your thigh as he speaks. His mouth returns to your clit, his tongue flicking and sucking with a relentless intensity that drives you wild. 
"Yeah, that’s right, just keep on making those little sounds for me." He says it with a satisfied smile curling on his lips, and he resumes his ministrations with renewed fervor. 
The combination of his fingers inside you and his mouth on your clit sends you spiralling into a mind-shattering orgasm, your body convulsing with pleasure as you cry out his name.
As the waves of ecstasy subside, Loki slowly withdraws his fingers. He stands, his eyes locking onto yours. He releases your binds away and turns you to him, and his thumb caresses your lower lip as if studying it for a second before he holds you against the wall, cupping your cheek, and kisses you almost fiercely. 
And gosh, you needed that. You needed that and more.
"Y/n, is that you?"
Both of you freeze to your seats when you hear Thor’s voice outside the elevator. 
Loki's eyes narrow in annoyance, and he quickly glances towards the elevator doors. "Shh," he murmurs against your lips, his voice barely a whisper. "We wouldn't want to get caught now, would we?"
He continues exploring your mouth, and the kisses start spreading to your neck, tongue, and teeth, making their wild appearances every once in a while. 
Until you couldn’t help it and let out a moan.
"This door is not openi- Y/n??" Thor repeats again. "Wait, let me call Stark.-" 
Your heart races when Thor calls out again because of your moan. Loki’s eyes narrow, and he pulls away. "Are you doing this on purpose? Just another one of your games so we can get caught and you can have your fun?"
He gives your pussy a little slap, and you whine a no. 
In a swift motion, he wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you tightly against him. You barely have time to register the shift before the air around you shimmers and the familiar confines of the elevator vanish, replaced by the opulent and dimly lit interior of a room unknown to you.
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The room is a stark contrast to the sterile metal of the elevator. Rich tapestries line the walls, and candles flicker, casting a warm, golden glow. A large, ornate bed dominates the space, its dark, luxurious linens inviting in a way that makes your heart race. 
Loki wastes no time. He sweeps you off your feet, carrying you to the bed with an urgency that sends a thrill through you. He lays you down gently, his gaze intense as he takes in your still-naked form. His hands trace over your skin, as if committing every inch to memory. 
The air is thick with the scent of sandalwood and something uniquely Loki—intoxicating and alluring. "Now, where were we?" He purrs, his fingers tracing a delicate line down your spine, sending shivers through your body.
You can barely catch your breath; the intensity of the moment overwhelming. "Loki, what if Thor—"
"Thor won't find us," Loki interrupts, his voice a low growl. "This is my domain. No one enters without my permission."
"Now," he whispers, his lips brushing against your ear, "let us continue our little magic demonstration." 
The silken sheets cool against your heated skin, and with Loki's hands everywhere—caressing, teasing, exploring every inch of your body—his touch both gentle and demanding, leaving you breathless and craving more. 
"So beautiful," his voice dripping with seductive menace as he conjures a binding spell that secures your wrists to the bedposts. 
You gasp, your body arching against the restraints, as Loki's mouth finds your breasts, his tongue swirling around your nipples with maddening precision. The sensations are overwhelming, and your mind is lost in a haze of pleasure and need. 
Loki's mouth moves with deliberate precision, his tongue tracing intricate patterns over your breasts. Each flick of his tongue sends jolts of pleasure through your body, making you arch and writhe against the silken sheets. The restraints on your wrists keep you firmly in place.
"Loki…"
"Mhm," he hums, enjoying your squirms. But he wanted more.
He uses his powers to amplify his touch, making your nerve endings sing with heightened sensitivity. You gasp and moan, the intensity of his magic overwhelming your senses.
You can feel the magic pulsating through you, heightening your awareness of every touch and every kiss. His lips move from your breasts to the sensitive skin just below, his tongue flicking out to taste you. The combination of his mouth and his magic almost too much to bear.
His free hand trails down your body, leaving a path of fire in its wake. As his fingers reach your inner thighs, you feel a new surge of his magic, more potent and concentrated. It wraps around your thighs, making your muscles quiver with anticipation.
Loki conjures small, delicate tendrils of magic that wrap around your nipples, gently tugging and twisting. The sensation is unlike anything you've ever felt before—a perfect blend of pleasure and pain that leaves you gasping for breath. 
He moves lower, his mouth leaving a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses down your belly. The tendrils of magic follow his path, amplifying every sensation, making you feel as if your skin is on fire. You can barely think or breathe; your mind consumed by the overwhelming pleasure.
As he reaches your hips, his fingers part your folds, and you feel a rush of cool air against your wetness. His mouth hovers just above your clit, his breath hot and tantalizing. 
"Tell me, darling," Loki whispers, his lips brushing against your most sensitive spot, "how does it feel to be at the mercy of a god?"
Before you can answer, his tongue flicks out, teasing your clit with delicate, precise strokes. His magic enhances every touch, making you moan and writhe against the restraints. You can feel your orgasm building, the pleasure coiling tight in your belly. 
"Loki I-" He sees your upcoming orgasm and pulls away quickly, enjoying your needy, complaining moan for him.
"Not so easy, darling."
And with another display of his magic, he completely gets rid of his clothes, his disrobed body turning you on even more, the heat of need between your legs almost unbearable.
He brings his already-hard cock near your lips. "Kiss it." and you do, the light hum of satisfaction he makes making you want to absolutely suck him out rather than just a little kiss.
"My filthy little vixen," he says, eyes blazing with hunger as he positions himself between your legs. His grip tightens on your hips, holding you in place as he teases your entrance with the tip of his cock, the sensation sending shivers of anticipation through you, "get ready for your god."
He lets out a low growl, a dark and seductive sound, before slowly pushing into you, his length stretching and filling you completely. The feeling is exquisite, with every inch of him sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body.
"You feel so perfect," Loki murmurs, his voice husky with desire. "Every part of you was made just for me."
He begins to move, slow and deliberate, his thrusts deep and controlled. Each motion designed to draw out the maximum pleasure to make you feel every inch of him. The binding spell keeps your wrists secured to the bedposts, preventing you from reaching out to touch him, to claw at his back as the pleasure intensifies.
Loki's eyes never leave yours, the connection between you palpable and electric. He leans down, capturing your lips in a searing kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth with the same intensity as his thrusts. You respond eagerly, your moans muffled against his lips, your body arching to meet his. 
His magic continues to amplify every sensation, making your skin hypersensitive, every touch sends sparks of pleasure through you. The tendrils of magic around your nipples tighten and twist, adding to the overwhelming pleasure coursing through your body.
"Loki," you gasp, barely able to form coherent words. "I can't... it's too much..."
He smirks, his eyes dark with lust. "You can take it, darling. You will take it. You will take everything I give you."
His pace quickens, and his thrusts become more urgent and more demanding. The bed creaks beneath you, the sound mingling with your moans and the wet, slick sounds of your bodies moving together. The pleasure builds rapidly, creating a coiling heat in your belly that threatens to consume you entirely.
Loki's hand moves between your bodies, his thumb finding your clit and rubbing in tight, precise circles. The additional stimulation pushes you closer to the edge, your body trembling with the effort to hold back your impending orgasm.
"Come for me, darling," Loki commands, his voice a low, seductive growl. "Come for your god."
His words are your undoing. With a cry, you shatter, the orgasm ripping through you with an intensity that leaves you breathless and shaking. The pleasure is overwhelming, your vision going white as wave after wave of ecstasy crashes over you.
Loki continues to thrust through your orgasm, prolonging your pleasure, his own release imminent. His movements become erratic, his grip on your hips tightening as he chases his own climax.
You can feel him throbbing inside you, his breaths coming in ragged gasps as he finally lets go, his own orgasm ripping through him.
With a final, powerful thrust, he spills into you, his groan of pleasure vibrating through your body. He collapses on top of you, his weight comforting and grounding as you both catch your breath, the aftershocks of pleasure still coursing through you.
For a moment, there's only the sound of your ragged breathing, the scent of sex and sweat heavy in the air. Loki's hand comes up to gently cup your cheek, his thumb brushing away a stray tear of overwhelming pleasure. 
"Fuck, you drive me wild." He murmurs breathlessly. 
"Did you like that, darling?" Loki murmurs against your skin, his voice a seductive purr. "My magic can do so much more." 
You breathlessly chuckle while he traces patterns on your skin. His fingers caress down to your thigh, where he glances at your tattoo.
"We can’t have that." He says in a low voice and grazes his hand over your skin, and the tattoo vanishes.  Loki’s touch lingers on your thigh where the tattoo once was, his magic leaving your skin smooth and unmarked.
"And now you’re mine."
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vbecker10 · 19 hours
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Hahaha I promise it'll happen in part 4... I think
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Talk to Me (Part 3)
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 4 (in progress)
Pairing: Loki x female reader (Y/N)
Summary: Your mind is racing in too many directions and you have no answers. Are your nightmares are returning? Will Loki pull away now that you saw his Jotun form? Will you ever get the courage to tell him you love him?
Meanwhile, Loki battles with similar concerns. What can he do to ensure you feel safe and keep away your nightmares? How will he explain his Jotun form to you without you thinking he's a monster? Will you ever love him the way he loves you?
Warnings: anxiety, feeling of being alone, fear of running a friendship, Loki being insecure about being a frost giant... soooo much angst I'm sorry lol
A/N: Don't worry, Part 4 is the last part and I'm going to post it a day or so after I post this so you won't have to wait too long 💚
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His smile vanishes and he immediately shifts back into his Asgardian form, pulling his fingers free from your other hand. "I'm sorry," he says nervously as he gets up and walks away from you.
"For what?" you ask getting up but he ignores you. "Wait, Loki," you call as he heads towards his bedroom and pauses under the door frame. You walk towards him and say, "Please don't do that. Don't shut me out." You slip your hand into his and he looks at you. "You promised you would talk to me, remember?"
He sighs, "I did promise that, didn't I?"
You nod and try to smile, hoping he will open up to you. You are always worried Loki will retreat behind the walls you've worked so hard to break down.
A small smile tugs at his lips and he says, "I don't know what I did to deserve such a fiercely devoted friend."
You shrug and hold your forced smile as you feel a twinge of pain in your chest when he refers to you simply as his friend.
"We will talk in the morning, I promise," he says as he moves to pull you into a hug. "You need to rest."
You nod and let go of his hand, turning towards the living area. Your heart sinks and you feel a wave of a guilt and concern when you see the state of the couch for the first time. The blanket Loki had given you is in a pile on the floor but you can see several large holes burned into it. The fabric of the cushions are singed far worse than you thought and the wall behind the couch is lightly coated in ash and smoke.
"I didn't realize it was this bad," you say in a stunned voice. You cover your mouth in shock as you realize how close you had come to making your nightmare a reality. Looking at Loki, you lower your hand, "I'm so sorry." You begin the fight to hold back the tears that swiftly push their way to the surface.
"You have nothing to be sorry about," he puts his arms around you, turning you away from the couch. "It is just a piece of furniture," he waves one hand towards the couch. With a light green glow, the blanket vanishes from sight, both the couch and wall return to their previous, un-burnt state. Loki rubs your back in a soothing manner and you lift your head to look up at him. A single tear escapes and he wipes it away before you can hide it from him. "The important thing is that you are okay," he tells you with a caring look.
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Loki offers to walk you back to your room and you quickly agree, still feeling the lingering nervousness from your panic attack and nightmare, you are not ready to be alone yet.
As you walk down the hall quietly, his fingers brush against the back of your hand lightly. You want to take his hand but you are unsure how he will react. Would he squeeze your hand as your ever supportive friend then let go as he had done many times before? Would he pull away from you with the forced, polite smile you've seen him use in dozens of interviews? He still seems a bit distant after you had seen his Jotun form, what if he didn't want to be close to you now?
Loki looks down at how closely your hands are and wishes he could reach out for yours. He tries to picture the smile that would light up your face if he was to take your hand and bring it to his lips, kissing your soft skin lightly.
When you reach your door, you pause briefly before opening it.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
"I'm afraid to go back to sleep," you admit. "I haven't been in so long but I just... what if it happens again? What if the nightmares are coming back? I don't want to go back to the way it was."
"I'm sure it was just a one time thing. You were over tired from your mission and we both know you have been under a lot of stress lately," Loki tries to reassure you but he can tell it does nothing to ease your fear. He understands better than anyone in the Tower how your nightmares had affected you.
You would stay awake for days at a time when he first met you, fearful that if you closed your eyes for even a second the dreams would return. Loki had helped you discover that your nightmares were triggered by your anxiety, stress and exhaustion. Unfortunately, this meant the more tired or worried you were, the more likely it would be that your sleep would be interrupted.
"Last time they started it was just like this," you tell him. You begin to fear that you were wrong to think your issues sleeping were truly behind you.
Loki is quiet for a moment, one of his hands settles on your lower back gently and he moves it up and down slowly while he thinks. "Would you feel more comfortable if I stayed?" he offers for the first time since your nightmares subsided months ago.
"Yes," you answer without thinking. "I mean... if you don't mind, I know my couch isn't really that great. You're way too tall for it," you hold back a smile remembering the last time Loki feel asleep there, his long legs hanging off the end of what was more of a love seat than a couch.
Loki takes a step towards you, his fingers touching your chin to gently raise your eyes to meet his, "Have you ever known me to offer to do something if i didn't want to do it?"
"No," you smile, feeling a blush creep up your cheeks at how close he is standing to you. You hope he doesn't notice but the way his eyes flicker to your cheeks you know he did.
You open your door and he takes your hand as if it was the most natural thing he has ever done. It is hard to focus on anything other than the feeling of his thumb running slowly along your knuckles. You follow him into your apartment without another word.
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You tell him you will find him an extra pillow but as soon as the words leave your lips he smirks and you remember who you are talking to. "Don't worry, I've got them," he responds as he conjures a pillow and blanket to place on the couch.
"Right," you smile awkwardly. You wait a moment but when he sits on the couch you realize he isn't planning on giving you a hug before you leave him for the night. You always need just one more hug but you can't bring yourself to ask for one right now.
"Sleep well, Y/N," he tells you.
"Goodnight Loki," you lift your hand to give him a small wave before disappearing into your room.
You lay on your bed and pull the sheets tightly around yourself but you couldn't feel any more awake. The second you close your eyes, your heart races as the faded memories of your nightmare flash across your mind. You open them quickly and look up at the bare ceiling with a groan. You try to push aside your fear that the nightmares are returning, hoping that Loki is right.
Loki... your thoughts stray to the God curled up in your living room. Why had he been so upset when you saw his Jotun form? That's who he truly is, isn't it? He shouldn't be ashamed of that or try to hide it from everyone, you think. But even if he doesn't want the whole world to see him, that shouldn't include you, should it? You weren't just anyone, you were his friend, his best friend. The person he had promised to share everything with. Maybe you aren't as close as you think, maybe that is a part of himself he will never share with you. Or maybe he is waiting to share it with someone he loves and trusts but that person isn't you, you think as you roll over, clinging to your pillow.
Loki conjures a book and lays on your couch with one arm behind his head. He is comfortable enough with his legs bent to fit better on the small piece of furniture but he feels as if something is missing. He realizes he is missing how it felt to have his arms around you, he hadn't hugged you goodnight as he typically would and it left a hollow feeling in his chest. He didn't want to add any more fuel to your already fearful mind and he is unsure how you will truly feel about his Jotun form once you are more rested and able to absorb what you saw.
He closes his book and places it on your coffee table, knowing he will be unable to focus on reading tonight. He is too angry with himself for slipping and revealing his Jotun form. Loki wants nothing more than to have you feel comfortable with him, how could have risked everything like that? How could he have been so stupid and reckless? You were at your most vulnerable and you needed him but he turned into a monster, he scolds himself. What if the sight of him had scared you? You could have hurt yourself with your powers and he knows he would never have been able to forgive himself for that.
He looks up, his attention pulled towards the sound of your bedroom door opening. Sitting up, Loki asks, "Are you okay?"
You shrug and put your arms around yourself. You aren't sure how to explain to Loki how lonely and anxious you feel.
"Do you want to sit out here with me for a bit?" he asks, patting the cushion next to him invitingly.
You nod and sit next to him, he moves the blanket to cover both of your laps and he puts his arm around your shoulders. Instantly, you feel some of the tension begin to leave your body as you relax a bit. "I know I need to sleep but I just can't," you tell him. "It's like my mind won't shut off. I feel bad keeping you awake like this, I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry," he tells you sincerely. "You stayed awake with me plenty of times when we were working through my nightmares. You are the only reason I am able to sleep now," he reminds you. "What kind of friend would I be if I didn't do the same for you?"
"Thank you Loki," you look up at him with a small, forced smile.
"That is not all that is wrong though, is it?" he asks but you shake your head. "I know you Y/N," he touches your cheek. "I know there is something aren't saying."
You look down, fidgeting with your fingers, you can't help but hate and love how well he knows you. You know you need to tell him something or he will keep asking what is wrong. How are you supposed to tell him your smile faltered because you dislike being reminded that you are nothing more than his friend?
"I was wondering..." you pause as your mind tries to work quickly, "Since neither of us are going to sleep any time soon, maybe we could have that talk now? About what happened with your Jotun form?"
His body tenses and you worry you have made a mistake. Maybe you should have tried to lie about something else or just gone back to your room. After a long stretch of silence he finally nods.
"I never meant for you to see me that way, ever," he says as he shakes his head. Loki shifts, leaving an empty space between you both on the couch. It is only a few inches but it feels like he is miles away. "I wasn't thinking," he continues. "When I saw you surrounded by the flames I knew I needed to help you, to make sure you were safe and the fire was out but I hadn't intended to let... that out." He flinches when he refers to his Jotun form.
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"I guess maybe I just don't understand why you want to keep that part of you locked away," you move closer to him.
"The Jotun are monsters, Y/N," he states. "I'm a monster. My father- Odin," he quickly corrects himself, "Made that perfectly clear to Thor and me when we were growing up. He used to tell us stories about them, the same way humans tell their children ghost stories. Jotuns are too be feared and hated and I never wanted you to know that side of me. I don't want you to be afraid of me."
"I admit, I don't know the first thing about Jotuns," you reach for his hand. "But I know you." He looks at you, his eyes are full of pain. "I have never been afraid of you Loki, you know that. Even the first time we met... when you kinda threw me through a wall," you try to joke.
"I have apologized for that," he says defensively.
"I know, I was kidding," you try to explain but you obviously missed the mark. You sigh, "Loki, listen to me. You are not a monster, I don't care what that ass Odin said when you were a kid. You are the most caring person I have ever met. No one has ever treated me this kindly or has put so much effort into trying to understand me."
He smiles as you talk and you can see in his eyes he believes you. "I have met monsters, Loki," you remind him. "We both have fought them on our missions and you are nothing like them. You care too deeply to ever become anything like them."
You put your arms around him and rest your head against his chest. He hugs you back and quietly says, "Thank you, Y/N."
Loki closes his eyes, feeling himself relax for the first time since your nightmare. He takes a deep breath, fighting the urge to tilt your head up so he can press his lips to yours. He wants to be closer to you but instead he places a soft kiss on the top of your head. He cannot risk your friendship, especially not in this moment so he settles for any affection he can as you hug him tighter, your body pressed so perfectly against his.
"You are without a doubt, the best thing that has ever happened to me and I do know what I would do without you in my life," he says, meaning every word.
You smile, knowing how much Loki appreciates you and you feel guilty wishing for more. You want him to say that he loves you, that he wants you in his life as more than his friend but he doesn't and he won't. You push down the torn feelings you have and tell him, "I will always be here for you."
"And I will always be here for you, Y/N," he responds. His body aches to shift forward and seal your promises with a kiss but he still doesn't move.
After a few minutes of comfortable silence he says, "You need to get some rest. You've had a long night."
"We both have," your agree but you still aren't sure you will be able to sleep. You get up from the couch and walk back towards your room but you stop after only a few steps. You turn to look back at Loki and tell him, "I don't want to be alone."
"I'm here," he promises as he sits on your couch.
You bite your lip, holding back the words you want to say. You want to ask him to hold you while you sleep. He had made you feel so protected and safe after your panic attack and you need to feel like that again.
He gets up from the couch and walks towards you when you don't say anything in response. "Would you feel better if I slept in your room tonight?" he asks and you hear a hint of nervousness in his voice, not something you are used to with Loki.
The answer leaves your mouth before you even realize it, "Yes."
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You take Loki's hand and lead him into your room. Pulling back the covers you make eye contact with him and realize he looks almost as anxious as you feel. You lay on your side near the edge of the bed, facing away from Loki quietly as he gets in on the other side.
Loki's heart skips a beat with nervous excitement, he truthfully hadn't thought you would accept his offer. As much as he wants to hold you all night he is worried about what will happen after. He fears this will be the only time you allow him into your bed and he knows it will not be enough for him. One night spent near you could never be enough but he will savor every second.
An empty space forms between you and Loki for a few moments then you feel the mattress dip as he rolls over towards you. Without thinking, you shift closer to him and your breath catches when you feel his chest flush to your back. He drapes his arm over you, pulling you flush to his body.
"Is this okay?" he asks quietly in your ear, he hopes you can't feel how quickly his heart is beating.
"It's perfect," you smile, keeping your eyes closed tight, trying to etch this feeling into your mind. You lay completely still, feeling the way his legs tangle with yours loosely, feeling his chest rise and fall as he breaths slowly, your hand covers his which rests lightly on your stomach. You could stay cuddled in his arms forever but you know it won't last. Come morning, he will release you and you will return to sleeping alone.
"Can I ask you something?" you say a few minutes later in a low voice.
"You can ask me anything," he promises.
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83 notes · View notes
vbecker10 · 20 hours
Text
Talk to Me (Part 3)
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 4 (in progress)
Pairing: Loki x female reader (Y/N)
Summary: Your mind is racing in too many directions and you have no answers. Are your nightmares are returning? Will Loki pull away now that you saw his Jotun form? Will you ever get the courage to tell him you love him?
Meanwhile, Loki battles with similar concerns. What can he do to ensure you feel safe and keep away your nightmares? How will he explain his Jotun form to you without you thinking he's a monster? Will you ever love him the way he loves you?
Warnings: anxiety, feeling of being alone, fear of running a friendship, Loki being insecure about being a frost giant... soooo much angst I'm sorry lol
A/N: Don't worry, Part 4 is the last part and I'm going to post it a day or so after I post this so you won't have to wait too long 💚
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His smile vanishes and he immediately shifts back into his Asgardian form, pulling his fingers free from your other hand. "I'm sorry," he says nervously as he gets up and walks away from you.
"For what?" you ask getting up but he ignores you. "Wait, Loki," you call as he heads towards his bedroom and pauses under the door frame. You walk towards him and say, "Please don't do that. Don't shut me out." You slip your hand into his and he looks at you. "You promised you would talk to me, remember?"
He sighs, "I did promise that, didn't I?"
You nod and try to smile, hoping he will open up to you. You are always worried Loki will retreat behind the walls you've worked so hard to break down.
A small smile tugs at his lips and he says, "I don't know what I did to deserve such a fiercely devoted friend."
You shrug and hold your forced smile as you feel a twinge of pain in your chest when he refers to you simply as his friend.
"We will talk in the morning, I promise," he says as he moves to pull you into a hug. "You need to rest."
You nod and let go of his hand, turning towards the living area. Your heart sinks and you feel a wave of a guilt and concern when you see the state of the couch for the first time. The blanket Loki had given you is in a pile on the floor but you can see several large holes burned into it. The fabric of the cushions are singed far worse than you thought and the wall behind the couch is lightly coated in ash and smoke.
"I didn't realize it was this bad," you say in a stunned voice. You cover your mouth in shock as you realize how close you had come to making your nightmare a reality. Looking at Loki, you lower your hand, "I'm so sorry." You begin the fight to hold back the tears that swiftly push their way to the surface.
"You have nothing to be sorry about," he puts his arms around you, turning you away from the couch. "It is just a piece of furniture," he waves one hand towards the couch. With a light green glow, the blanket vanishes from sight, both the couch and wall return to their previous, un-burnt state. Loki rubs your back in a soothing manner and you lift your head to look up at him. A single tear escapes and he wipes it away before you can hide it from him. "The important thing is that you are okay," he tells you with a caring look.
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Loki offers to walk you back to your room and you quickly agree, still feeling the lingering nervousness from your panic attack and nightmare, you are not ready to be alone yet.
As you walk down the hall quietly, his fingers brush against the back of your hand lightly. You want to take his hand but you are unsure how he will react. Would he squeeze your hand as your ever supportive friend then let go as he had done many times before? Would he pull away from you with the forced, polite smile you've seen him use in dozens of interviews? He still seems a bit distant after you had seen his Jotun form, what if he didn't want to be close to you now?
Loki looks down at how closely your hands are and wishes he could reach out for yours. He tries to picture the smile that would light up your face if he was to take your hand and bring it to his lips, kissing your soft skin lightly.
When you reach your door, you pause briefly before opening it.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
"I'm afraid to go back to sleep," you admit. "I haven't been in so long but I just... what if it happens again? What if the nightmares are coming back? I don't want to go back to the way it was."
"I'm sure it was just a one time thing. You were over tired from your mission and we both know you have been under a lot of stress lately," Loki tries to reassure you but he can tell it does nothing to ease your fear. He understands better than anyone in the Tower how your nightmares had affected you.
You would stay awake for days at a time when he first met you, fearful that if you closed your eyes for even a second the dreams would return. Loki had helped you discover that your nightmares were triggered by your anxiety, stress and exhaustion. Unfortunately, this meant the more tired or worried you were, the more likely it would be that your sleep would be interrupted.
"Last time they started it was just like this," you tell him. You begin to fear that you were wrong to think your issues sleeping were truly behind you.
Loki is quiet for a moment, one of his hands settles on your lower back gently and he moves it up and down slowly while he thinks. "Would you feel more comfortable if I stayed?" he offers for the first time since your nightmares subsided months ago.
"Yes," you answer without thinking. "I mean... if you don't mind, I know my couch isn't really that great. You're way too tall for it," you hold back a smile remembering the last time Loki feel asleep there, his long legs hanging off the end of what was more of a love seat than a couch.
Loki takes a step towards you, his fingers touching your chin to gently raise your eyes to meet his, "Have you ever known me to offer to do something if i didn't want to do it?"
"No," you smile, feeling a blush creep up your cheeks at how close he is standing to you. You hope he doesn't notice but the way his eyes flicker to your cheeks you know he did.
You open your door and he takes your hand as if it was the most natural thing he has ever done. It is hard to focus on anything other than the feeling of his thumb running slowly along your knuckles. You follow him into your apartment without another word.
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You tell him you will find him an extra pillow but as soon as the words leave your lips he smirks and you remember who you are talking to. "Don't worry, I've got them," he responds as he conjures a pillow and blanket to place on the couch.
"Right," you smile awkwardly. You wait a moment but when he sits on the couch you realize he isn't planning on giving you a hug before you leave him for the night. You always need just one more hug but you can't bring yourself to ask for one right now.
"Sleep well, Y/N," he tells you.
"Goodnight Loki," you lift your hand to give him a small wave before disappearing into your room.
You lay on your bed and pull the sheets tightly around yourself but you couldn't feel any more awake. The second you close your eyes, your heart races as the faded memories of your nightmare flash across your mind. You open them quickly and look up at the bare ceiling with a groan. You try to push aside your fear that the nightmares are returning, hoping that Loki is right.
Loki... your thoughts stray to the God curled up in your living room. Why had he been so upset when you saw his Jotun form? That's who he truly is, isn't it? He shouldn't be ashamed of that or try to hide it from everyone, you think. But even if he doesn't want the whole world to see him, that shouldn't include you, should it? You weren't just anyone, you were his friend, his best friend. The person he had promised to share everything with. Maybe you aren't as close as you think, maybe that is a part of himself he will never share with you. Or maybe he is waiting to share it with someone he loves and trusts but that person isn't you, you think as you roll over, clinging to your pillow.
Loki conjures a book and lays on your couch with one arm behind his head. He is comfortable enough with his legs bent to fit better on the small piece of furniture but he feels as if something is missing. He realizes he is missing how it felt to have his arms around you, he hadn't hugged you goodnight as he typically would and it left a hollow feeling in his chest. He didn't want to add any more fuel to your already fearful mind and he is unsure how you will truly feel about his Jotun form once you are more rested and able to absorb what you saw.
He closes his book and places it on your coffee table, knowing he will be unable to focus on reading tonight. He is too angry with himself for slipping and revealing his Jotun form. Loki wants nothing more than to have you feel comfortable with him, how could have risked everything like that? How could he have been so stupid and reckless? You were at your most vulnerable and you needed him but he turned into a monster, he scolds himself. What if the sight of him had scared you? You could have hurt yourself with your powers and he knows he would never have been able to forgive himself for that.
He looks up, his attention pulled towards the sound of your bedroom door opening. Sitting up, Loki asks, "Are you okay?"
You shrug and put your arms around yourself. You aren't sure how to explain to Loki how lonely and anxious you feel.
"Do you want to sit out here with me for a bit?" he asks, patting the cushion next to him invitingly.
You nod and sit next to him, he moves the blanket to cover both of your laps and he puts his arm around your shoulders. Instantly, you feel some of the tension begin to leave your body as you relax a bit. "I know I need to sleep but I just can't," you tell him. "It's like my mind won't shut off. I feel bad keeping you awake like this, I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry," he tells you sincerely. "You stayed awake with me plenty of times when we were working through my nightmares. You are the only reason I am able to sleep now," he reminds you. "What kind of friend would I be if I didn't do the same for you?"
"Thank you Loki," you look up at him with a small, forced smile.
"That is not all that is wrong though, is it?" he asks but you shake your head. "I know you Y/N," he touches your cheek. "I know there is something aren't saying."
You look down, fidgeting with your fingers, you can't help but hate and love how well he knows you. You know you need to tell him something or he will keep asking what is wrong. How are you supposed to tell him your smile faltered because you dislike being reminded that you are nothing more than his friend?
"I was wondering..." you pause as your mind tries to work quickly, "Since neither of us are going to sleep any time soon, maybe we could have that talk now? About what happened with your Jotun form?"
His body tenses and you worry you have made a mistake. Maybe you should have tried to lie about something else or just gone back to your room. After a long stretch of silence he finally nods.
"I never meant for you to see me that way, ever," he says as he shakes his head. Loki shifts, leaving an empty space between you both on the couch. It is only a few inches but it feels like he is miles away. "I wasn't thinking," he continues. "When I saw you surrounded by the flames I knew I needed to help you, to make sure you were safe and the fire was out but I hadn't intended to let... that out." He flinches when he refers to his Jotun form.
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"I guess maybe I just don't understand why you want to keep that part of you locked away," you move closer to him.
"The Jotun are monsters, Y/N," he states. "I'm a monster. My father- Odin," he quickly corrects himself, "Made that perfectly clear to Thor and me when we were growing up. He used to tell us stories about them, the same way humans tell their children ghost stories. Jotuns are too be feared and hated and I never wanted you to know that side of me. I don't want you to be afraid of me."
"I admit, I don't know the first thing about Jotuns," you reach for his hand. "But I know you." He looks at you, his eyes are full of pain. "I have never been afraid of you Loki, you know that. Even the first time we met... when you kinda threw me through a wall," you try to joke.
"I have apologized for that," he says defensively.
"I know, I was kidding," you try to explain but you obviously missed the mark. You sigh, "Loki, listen to me. You are not a monster, I don't care what that ass Odin said when you were a kid. You are the most caring person I have ever met. No one has ever treated me this kindly or has put so much effort into trying to understand me."
He smiles as you talk and you can see in his eyes he believes you. "I have met monsters, Loki," you remind him. "We both have fought them on our missions and you are nothing like them. You care too deeply to ever become anything like them."
You put your arms around him and rest your head against his chest. He hugs you back and quietly says, "Thank you, Y/N."
Loki closes his eyes, feeling himself relax for the first time since your nightmare. He takes a deep breath, fighting the urge to tilt your head up so he can press his lips to yours. He wants to be closer to you but instead he places a soft kiss on the top of your head. He cannot risk your friendship, especially not in this moment so he settles for any affection he can as you hug him tighter, your body pressed so perfectly against his.
"You are without a doubt, the best thing that has ever happened to me and I do know what I would do without you in my life," he says, meaning every word.
You smile, knowing how much Loki appreciates you and you feel guilty wishing for more. You want him to say that he loves you, that he wants you in his life as more than his friend but he doesn't and he won't. You push down the torn feelings you have and tell him, "I will always be here for you."
"And I will always be here for you, Y/N," he responds. His body aches to shift forward and seal your promises with a kiss but he still doesn't move.
After a few minutes of comfortable silence he says, "You need to get some rest. You've had a long night."
"We both have," your agree but you still aren't sure you will be able to sleep. You get up from the couch and walk back towards your room but you stop after only a few steps. You turn to look back at Loki and tell him, "I don't want to be alone."
"I'm here," he promises as he sits on your couch.
You bite your lip, holding back the words you want to say. You want to ask him to hold you while you sleep. He had made you feel so protected and safe after your panic attack and you need to feel like that again.
He gets up from the couch and walks towards you when you don't say anything in response. "Would you feel better if I slept in your room tonight?" he asks and you hear a hint of nervousness in his voice, not something you are used to with Loki.
The answer leaves your mouth before you even realize it, "Yes."
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You take Loki's hand and lead him into your room. Pulling back the covers you make eye contact with him and realize he looks almost as anxious as you feel. You lay on your side near the edge of the bed, facing away from Loki quietly as he gets in on the other side.
Loki's heart skips a beat with nervous excitement, he truthfully hadn't thought you would accept his offer. As much as he wants to hold you all night he is worried about what will happen after. He fears this will be the only time you allow him into your bed and he knows it will not be enough for him. One night spent near you could never be enough but he will savor every second.
An empty space forms between you and Loki for a few moments then you feel the mattress dip as he rolls over towards you. Without thinking, you shift closer to him and your breath catches when you feel his chest flush to your back. He drapes his arm over you, pulling you flush to his body.
"Is this okay?" he asks quietly in your ear, he hopes you can't feel how quickly his heart is beating.
"It's perfect," you smile, keeping your eyes closed tight, trying to etch this feeling into your mind. You lay completely still, feeling the way his legs tangle with yours loosely, feeling his chest rise and fall as he breaths slowly, your hand covers his which rests lightly on your stomach. You could stay cuddled in his arms forever but you know it won't last. Come morning, he will release you and you will return to sleeping alone.
"Can I ask you something?" you say a few minutes later in a low voice.
"You can ask me anything," he promises.
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I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚 Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!
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vbecker10 · 21 hours
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Ugh... she's in trouble I can feel it. I'm already tired for her lol
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And damnit Loki doesn't even remember her?
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Beyond the Bookshelves (2)
Pairing: Loki x Reader
Warnings: When you're forced to work in pairs/groups when you don't want to work in pairs/groups, work life, slice of life
Summary: You're a Resource Management Specialist at S.H.I.E.L.D. normally referred to as “The Librarian”. You've been assigned the nightmarish task of digitizing all the physical resources currently owned by the agency, with a few new computers and one extra helper.
A/N: Thank you to all the readers who have loved this story so much already, I did not expect so man tag requests! I'll do my best to live up to your expectations in this story that is pretty much writing itself. If I missed anyone who asked to be tagged, please let me know!
Please comment/like/reblog. If you'd like to be tagged moving forward, please let me know!
The lovely banners used in this fic are from @cafekitsune.
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The walk back to the library was longer than usual, but that was because you were now burdened with a task that was nearly impossible to complete with what was at your disposal. No only was there so little provided, the personnel allotted was the complete opposite of what was necessary. It would have been laughable had it not been so pathetic. You, someone who normally worked with a set number of others, (most of which were virtual) was now forced into a group with two other members whom you have never even properly spoken to.
Loki probably hates me, he has to hate me. The man-person-god-prince-whatever-he-is has never even uttered a word to me until today! You thought back to the very first time you ever met the silent and brooding raven haired Asgardian.
It started off just like any other day, quiet and peaceful. It was just you, the books, and the sun. Though it was a state-of-the-art facility, the library was given a more soothing design with wooden shelving and tables, soft carpeting, comfortable seating of chairs and sofas, table lamps, and desks for laptops and computers to promote productivity and security. There were a few high-tech things, such as the book trolley being robotic and the security measures equal to the rest of the complex; but overall it evoked a sense of tradition.
You were leading the robot trolley filled with books through the shelves, returning items to their proper place, when you heard the chime at the door. Peeking your head out of the aisle, you were awestruck by the handsome young man whom you have never seen before, slowly walking in and looking around in what you could only describe as pure wonder. There was a sparkle of life in those blue eyes and the faintest of smiles tugging at the corners of his lips. Setting the book in hand back on the trolley, you stepped out and gave a big smile.
“Hello, my name is Y/N. I’m the librarian. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” You cheerily greeted him, but only received silence in return as he walked further into the room without even a passing glance. There’s no way he didn’t hear me, right? I didn’t shout, but I wasn’t quiet either. He seems to be really excited about the library, so maybe he was too busy looking around? She opened her mouth to let him know she was here to assist if he needed anything, but he was nowhere to be seen. “I guess he really was just that eager.” You muttered to yourself as you finished your task and made your way to the main desk.
Who is he, anyway? He looks oddly familiar, but I just can’t put my finger on it. You dug through your memories, trying to find a name to the face. When it was clear that it was not something that would come to you right away, he let it be for now and tried your best to see if the newcomer was still here. Had it not been for the occasional sightings, you would have sworn your mind was playing tricks on you. When he finally settled on a few books, you waited for him to come to the desk to check out.
“Excuse me, sir!” You shouted after him as he went straight towards the door. His nose was already buried in one book, and two more were under his arm. It was too late. The alarm at the door began ringing, and a female computer voice came through the speakers.
“Please return the books to the library or check them out at the main desk. I repeat, please return the books to the library or check them out at the main desk.” You watched his head snap up and look around for the source of the disembodied voice when holographic floating arrows directed his attention towards you. You gave a slight wave and put on your best welcoming smile once more. He looked down at the books he held briefly before making his way over to the desk.
“I guess you didn’t hear me, I was trying to get your attention before you left. It’s fine, people make that mistake most of them the time when they're busy. May I please see the books?” He held out your hands, but he deposited the stack on to the desk and pushed it towards you. Ok, you pulled them closer. “Your ID as well, please.” You held out your hand once more and the man simply stared at you, bewildered, with scrunched eyebrows and a growing frown. Lifting your lanyard up, you pointed to your pass holder, which held your ID. “Your ID card, the one that gives you access to the various parts of this facility.” The continued silence was deafening as one of his hands slipped into one of his pockets and he pulled out his ID and placed it on the table. “Uh, thank you,” you mumble as you pick up the piece of plastic and tapped it against a panel to the right of your monitor. Loki? You stared at the name for a moment, the gears slowly turning in your head as you scanned the books one by one before handing them and his ID back to him. “You have two weeks to return or extend your borrow time. Please do not damage them or return them late, you will incur some fees if so. Thank you, I hope you enjoy them. If you need any,” you began to strike up conversation once more, but he took the books and left without a word, leaving you to awkwardly watch.
“Talk about intimidating! I had no idea they brought him here!” You let out a heavy sigh and plopped back into your chair. “I can’t believe I didn’t recognize him without those big gold horns! Did he really just ignore me, though? Maybe he’s shy? I don’t recall ever hearing him speak, though,” you muttered to yourself, swinging left to right. “He must’ve proven that he’s not dangerous if he’s allowed to be part of the Avenger’s team.” You shrugged and let the topic slide for now. You would give him time to grow accustomed to you…or so you thought.
The encounters that followed were nearly identical to the first. He would come in and completely ignore you, read for hours, check out books, and leave. Not a word came from his lips, and he only ever looked at you with you were not sure whether it was disdain or disgust. At some point, you completely gave up on speaking to him and simply took note of the books he liked. When he would go searching for something of interest, you would set a book that you believed he would enjoy beside the sofa he usually sat. It was clear she chose well, since he would always read and check it out. With all this in mind, you had come to the conclusion he cannot speak for some reason, and you were a rude stranger constantly chattering on to him. Not wanting to spoil his time in the library, you quickly adapted and remained silent in return. 
You dryly laughed at the memories that dropped on you like bricks. You were clearly thinking too highly of yourself, since today you had heard him speak quite clearly. Why would someone remain quiet for so long? After all attempts made to strike up conversation? There was only one valid solution: he hated you. The reason, you were not sure, but it was the only thing that made sense, and that meant you only had one Asgardian to rely on for assistance in your assignment.
Thor can only do so much since he is a main team member and one that is sent out on multiple missions globally. You pinched the bridge of your nose. Even if they forced Loki to assist, he’ll also be sent on various missions as well. I’ll have to wait for them to return every single time because those take priority over what I need to do. Then there’s training for the missions, training to keep working well as a team, meeting, and the press! The work is never going to get done! You wanted to rip your hair out from frustration as you roughly tousled it about and let out a loud groan of frustration once inside your sanctuary, the library. “And this is all if they say yes to helping me out. I doubt Fury is going to demand it, and Agent Hill isn’t going to go out of her way to persuade them. Just forget it, Y/N, fix the report and file it. Then just go on with your day just like you always do.”
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“Thor, Loki, thank you for taking the time to meet with me.” Agent Hill greeted the brothers that came into her office.
“Of course we would come. It is not often that you call for anyone other than Stark or Rogers.” Thor gave an amicable smile, while Loki simply took a seat in one of the chairs in front of her desk. “What is it that you wish to discuss with us?” Thor took the seat beside his brother.
“I won’t take much of your time, it is a new assignment that only the two of you can assist us with.” She took her seat once more and faced the two of them. “Director Fury has given a task to our Resources Management department, the lead of which works here at HQ with us. She is the Librarian. I’m sure you have seen her most of all.” She looked towards the younger prince.
Loki kept a passive outwardly expression while his mind quickly tried to pull out the information of this librarian. He was no stranger to meeting a multitude of people, but he was not foolish enough to assume he would be able to memorize everyone’s name and face. He was a prince of Asgard, the only people he needed to know of in detail ere dignitaries and other royals. This librarian was hardly someone he would have considered amongst the two categories.
“So what if I have?” He cool questioned, unsure of what the agent was trying to get at with all of this. Is this the reason she requested an audience with us the week before? What task could they have possibly given such a department that requires our assistance? I am not some scribe! He wanted to snap at Hill, but he held his tongue. Though he was an Avenger now, he was still not fully trusted by anyone. He knew even Thor had his reservations, but they knew how the Mind Stone worked. They knew he was not lying, but they were clear in stating they did not know him and this chance was only given because of his brother, Thor.
“Well, it will make things easier for us. She needs assistance in translating all of our texts into English. The department needs to create digital copies of all our books and paper resources so that we can access them anywhere and any time. We do not have the means to simply assign large groups to this task, because it would lead to suffering in on ground missions and recon. The both of you have the ability of AllSpeak which can translate anything you say to English. When you are available, please assist the Librarian in translating the various texts to help speed up the process.”
“This is a side request?” Thor asked, wanting to clarify the priority of this.
“Yes, we do not wish for this to hinder any missions you are needed for. We are requesting you head to the library when you have the time to speak with her and set up a tentative schedule so that she can report back to Director Fury by the end of this month. By that time, she will have the necessary equipment as well. If he approves, then we can move forward in starting this task.”
“You want us to dictate books to her? So she can type it up? Do you not have programs that can instantly translate for you?” Loki frowned, crossing his arms in disapproval at this waste of time.
“Though there are plenty of translation software programs out there, none of them are a hundred percent accurate. They may translate directly word for word, which could destroy the concept of the passages. It may attempt to try to understand the concept, but get it completely wrong. Both of you will be able to read the text and understand the context of it, which will help her type a more accurate translation.” Thor loudly hummed as he considered the task. It was not something he was rather fond of, however he wanted to be of assistance if this would help the organization.
“I am to deployed on a mission with Rogers and Stark in a couple of days. I am not certain how long we will be away. Is it possible to extend the time of meeting with the Librarian?” 
“I am to head out with the spider and bird tomorrow evening and return in four days.” Loki added.
“Very well, I will have her look into your schedules and reach out to the both of you.  If it cannot be done together, I will have her meet with you separately. Your missions will always be a priority, and she is well aware of that. Thank you for your assistance, I’ll inform her of this development.” Agent Hill stood from her seat and the two brothers followed, stepping out of her office and making their way towards the common room.
“Have you actually met this Librarian, brother?” Thor was the one to break the silence.
“I have not the faintest clue on whom they are referring to. No one speaks to me in this sterile place, how am I supposed to meet anyone?” He scoffed. Who would want to talk to a monster such as me? “It doesn’t matter, we will meet this woman at some point and better understand this waste of time that we are being dragged into. If you’ll excuse me, I have a debriefing to sit through.” He turned down the hall on their left, leaving Thor with the harsh words of his reality.
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Tags: @vbecker10 @huntress-artemiss @softestqueeen @thegodofnotknowing @princess-ofthe-pages @firedrakegirl @rcailleachcola @cabingrlandrandomcrap @lotrefcp
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vbecker10 · 24 hours
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Loki's Silent Sentry (Part 1)
Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 ( Part 6 in progress)
Pairing: Loki x female reader (y/n)
Summary: You are not just a soldier in Asgard's Royal Army, you are Lieutenant Y/L/N, Prince Loki's personal guard, his sentry and you are not supposed to fall in love with him. If you followed your training properly, you should never have even spoken to him. As a sentry, you are expected to remain silent and invisible as you shadow your appointed member of the royal family or member of the court protectively throughout their daily tasks.
Rumors (that happen to be true) begin to circulate through the palace that you serve the younger prince of Asgard both outside and inside his chambers. There is little you can do once word of your off duty activities spread through every maid, cook, gardener and seamstress in the palace. You soon find even the soldiers in your own company are now questioning how exactly you had come to earn your seemingly quick rise to lieutenant.
As the annual Winter Solstice Ball approaches, you come to the heartbreaking realization that your relationship with Loki must come to an end if you are both to fulfill your duties.
Warnings: Angst, arguing, Thor being an absolute ass, Odin being a terrible father
A/N: I did some googling quickly for military terms and ranks (since I have no previous knowledge of them) as well as some basic information about the royal guards in England. I took some of what I found interesting and then made up most of the rest to fit what I needed for my story so there will be some similarities. Also... I haven't written anything in like a year (maybe longer) so be nice please 💚💚
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You stand at constant attention in silence outside of Prince Loki's private office. You listen to the birds singing through the open window across the hall from where you are posted and wonder how long you could go without making a sound. You have been trained by the Royal Army for years to remain silent, vigilant, always listening and watching your surroundings for anything dangerous or out of the ordinary. You are always on guard, ready to protect Prince Loki should the need arise. Not that someone with his fighting skills or magic would need protection from a simple soldier like you. You were assigned this post purely because it was customary for each member of the royal family to have a sentry, whether they actually need one or not.
Your attention is drawn to the sound of footsteps approaching from your left. You are unable to determine how many people are coming but judging by their pace and heavy boots, they are most likely all soldiers. Commandant Thorn, the soldier in charge of your company, makes his way down the hall at a steady pace. He is followed by your captain, Captain Skye who is holding a leather bound book containing the names of all the sentries and their current posts. Trailing the two older men, are four low ranking soldiers you can't remember the names of.
The group of soldiers comes to a stop in front of you and your fellow guard and you both salute your commanding officers. "Lieutenant Y/L/N," Captain Skye says, opening his book for a moment. He closes it and looks up at you, "Prince Loki will of course be attending the Winter Solstice Ball. You will be required to escort him to the ballroom and remain on guard there until he dismisses you for the evening."
You nod in response, carefully hiding the heavy emotions you have surrounding the upcoming ball. The soldiers move on and you are left alone with the other guard again. She says nothing to you and even if you were allowed to speak, you know Sergeant Sands wouldn't talk to you. She is not your friend, none of the members of the Royal Guard are your friends. It wasn't always this way though, it is only since you were promoted to the rank of lieutenant that the guards you work with began to distance themselves from you.
You had been assigned to Prince Loki for three months when you were promoted from sergeant to lieutenant. Your fellow soldiers immediately assumed the young prince had a hand in it as he did little to hide how he favored you over the other guards who were previously assigned to him. The rumors about you spending the night in Loki's chamber instead of guarding it flowed through the palace soon after. You adamantly denied these rumors and any favoritism from the prince but it was a wasted effort. It also happened that the rumors were true to a point.
The door to Loki's office opens and you stand at attention as the court accountant exits, holding several rolls of paper and mumbling to himself. Sargeant Sands follows him without any orders needed, she is his sentry and will go where he goes. As she walks past by, she glances at you with what can only be described as a look of disgust. You look down at your boots, fully aware of what she is thinking.
You wait quietly for Loki to open the door again but you know him, he will want to read through all of his notes from today before he finalizes his meeting schedule for tomorrow. You have roughly half an hour until he will be done, half an hour to stand here and think about the dreaded Winter Solstice Ball.
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Another half an hour later, as expected, Loki opens the door and walks out. Waving his hand towards the door, he uses his magic to seal the room. He smiles warmly at you and you smile back at him for the first time today. This was your favorite part, the part where the sun goes down and Loki frees you from your constant silence.
He touches your cheek softly and leans in to kiss you. You kiss him back but pull away quickly as you hear footsteps approaching. You step away from Loki and stand at attention as Prince Thor comes around a corner. You keep your eyes straight ahead but you can feel Loki stiffening next to you, he and his brother get along much better when they are at court than they do in private.
The brothers greet each other politely and you silently wish the older prince would simply continue on his way but it doesn't seem likely. Your attention shifts to the window across the hall from you again, you can just barely glimpse the sunset over the tall evergreen trees in the distance. You know Loki will tell you if he and Thor discuss anything interesting so there is no need for you to listen to their conversation. The two of them continue for several long minutes before you realize Thor has said something to you.
"Lieutenant Y/L/N?" Thor says and you shake your head as you shift your focus.
"I'm sorry your highness, I was unaware you were speaking to me," you apologize. He had never spoken to you before and you were unsure why he would start now. Loki folds his arms across his chest and you feel uneasy at how annoyed he seems.
Thor laughs which does nothing to make you feel better. "I was wondering what it was about you that made you my brother's favorite," he says. "You must truly be special, a sentry's post typically only lasts three months, perhaps six at the most. You have been with Loki for how long now?"
You think for a moment before replying. You had been assigned to Loki for only a month before he first spoke to you and you had quickly become close friends. Three months after becoming friends with the prince, you slowly became more until you were completely in love with him.
"Fourteen months," you answer him in as few words as possible.
Thor looks at his younger brother with a smirk, "Fourteen?" Loki remains silent and you can tell his older brother is not even close to letting you leave soon. He turns his attention to you again, "So is it true then?"
"Is what true your highness?" you ask quietly.
"That you follow my brother's orders when you are wearing your armor and when you are not?" he laughs and his sentry smiles then looks towards the ground. "I could use a sentry like that, I grow tired of being followed by these shadows."
Loki's fist clenches but he answers Thor calmly. "Maybe if you learned your sentries name and weren't so insufferable to be around, they would remain at your service for longer than a month at a time," Loki says. "And you are the last person I would expect to listen to palace rumors. According to the most recent ones I've heard, you've slept with nearly half of the kitchen staff this month alone."
Thor smiles, proud of himself. You and Loki realize the stories you had overheard were true, if not understated. He explains, "That is why I assume the rumors of you and your little pet are true as well."
You find yourself in that brief moment wishing Loki would confirm everyone's suspensions. Not necessarily that you were sleeping together, that you were in love and wanted to be together. You know wishing for this is as useful as wishing it would rain gold. Once again you remind yourself that this is the way it will always be, until he marries a woman of high status and you are forgotten.
Instead of responding, Loki turns from his brother and walks down the hall towards the stairwell that leads to the royal family's chambers. You follow him silently, staying a few steps behind as always.
"Come now brother, I was merely joking," Thor calls from behind you but neither of you stop walking.
The two of you continue on in silence until you reach the top of the stairs and Loki's pace slows so he is walking next to you. His hand finds yours, his thumb gently stroking your knuckles. As soon as you feel his touch, you begin to relax.
"I'm sorry about my brother," he says quietly.
"His behavior isn't your fault," you reply. "And he is far from the first person to corner me about our relationship. I am used to denying the truth."
He stops, causing you to turn back towards him, your hand still holding his. He then takes a few small steps, closing the distance between you. Loki touches your cheek gently with his other hand. "I'm sorry Y/N," he tells you again. "I wish we didn't have to hide but you know there are some rules even I cannot break so openly. Maybe I should have hid my favoritism towards you better but I couldn't bear to have you reassigned. You mean too much to me."
You smile, "So I am your favorite sentry?"
He lets out a laugh, "You are my favorite person in the nine realms." You giggle at his answer and his fingers trail down your cheek until his thumb gently runs across your lips. He leans down to kiss you but just as his lips touch yours, you feel your heart jumps in your chest.
You hear several sets of footsteps and separate yourself from Loki in an instant. He looks down the hall as his mother, two of her maids and one guard come into view. She smiles brightly at both of you as she comes closer and you bow to the queen in respect. You find it hard to miss the side eye from her sentry or the whispers shared between her maids. Loki gives his mother a hug and wishes her a goodnight. She tells him to have a goodnight as well and continues on her way.
You and Loki walk off in the opposite direction towards his chambers and once you are alone again, Loki moves to take your hand but you flinch away. He looks hurt by your momentary rejection but he doesn't say anything. He knows how nervous you are about being seen touching him or speaking to him. You round the next corner and are flooded with relief as Loki's door finally comes into view. You fight the urge to smile, holding onto your composure as you've been trained.
Loki opens the door and steps inside, you follow him as you always do and he closes the door. He flicks his wrists towards you without a word and the heavy armor you wear over your clothing instantly settles itself neatly into a large chest. You take a few deep breaths, feeling as if most of the weight you have been carrying leaves you, but not all.
"Thank you your highness," you say out of habit.
"Please, never call me that in here," he reminds you gently. "In here I'm not a prince, I'm just Loki." He walks towards you and you don't realize you are moving away from him until your back hits the door and his body comes flush to yours. One hand settles on your hip while his other hand lifts your chin, causing you to look up at him. He continues, "And you are not Lieutenant Y/L/N, you are Y/N. The woman I am so deeply in love with." He smiles and you can't help but smile back at his words. All your worries vanish the instant his lips meet yours.
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You lay in Loki's arms watching the sunlight fill his room through the sheer curtains. You try to memorize the sound of his slow, steady breathing and the feel of his heart beat against your back as he holds you even in his sleep. You inhale deeply and focus on deciphering every herb and oil Loki uses to keep his hair soft. Closing your eyes, you use your senses to bring an image of Loki's face into your mind and try to hold it there.
"What are you thinking about my love?" he asks in a sleepy voice. You open your eyes and shift closer to him, pulling his arms tighter around your body. "Y/N, what's wrong?" he asks, now much more awake.
You swallow hard, trying to find the words. You had been thinking about what you needed to do most of the night but now that it was time, you weren't sure you would be able to do it.
"I've told you, you can speak freely here," he says softly, urging you gently as always to speak your mind when you were with him. His fingers move slowly up and down your arm as he tries to comfort you without knowing what is causing your distress.
"I need to transfer to a new post," you tell him. You hear him inhale sharply as his fingers suddenly go still.
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You stand outside Loki's office with Thor's new guard and two others in silence waiting for a very long meeting to conclude. You stifle a yawn and shift uncomfortably on your feet before regaining your composure. The tall guard standing across from you rolls his eyes while the woman next to him mumbles something that can only be about you.
It has been two days since you told Loki you wanted to transfer and you hadn't heard anything from your commanding officer. In the meantime, you decided to go back to sleeping in your assigned room at the soldiers quarters. You had forgotten how much you hated it there. The common areas are loud and there is little privacy, everyone is in everyone else's business. You barely leave your room, which is a surprise to no one. They wouldn't speak to you even if you did. You live in a world of utter silence surrounded by never ending noise.
You feel as if you are shattering from the inside out and you try to remind yourself that it needs to be this way. The two of you hid in his chambers as if it protected your relationship but it could never be real. How could it be when he could barely acknowledge your presence when in public. He is a prince and you are a soldier as were your parents, you were not high born. Loki is destined to marry the daughter of a council member and you will guard them and their children.
The door to Loki's office opens, you and the three guards stand at attention. Prince Thor walks out first, followed by two council members. They walk off in different directions, shadowed closely by their sentries but you remain, as always, at Loki's door.
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You stare at the wall in front of you for what feels like eternity. Your mind wanders between your favorite memories from your brief time with Loki and the crushing weight of your current reality. You stand up straighter when you hear the door swing open and Loki steps out.
"Lieutenant Y/L/N," he says, "I need to speak with you."
You nod and follow him into his office, closing the door behind you. You stand motionless, taking in his office and how much it feels like him. The dark wood bookshelves crowded with leather bound books, the chair pulled close to the window so he can see the garden below when drinking his afternoon tea, the green and gold accents on various pieces of furniture.
You sigh to yourself as you follow him to his desk. He takes a seat and you stand across from him with your arms behind your back, waiting for him to speak first.
"Y/N," he says informally but you don't relax. "Your transfer to a new post was not approved."
"Can I ask why your highness?" you keep the formalities as you've been trained.
"The Winter Solstice Ball is in less then a week," he answers as if you could forget. "The Royal Guard seems to be too busy tightening security and preparing for everyone's arrival to complete your paper work at this time."
"Understood, your highness," you say. "I should return to my post." You turn to head back outside of his office.
"Wait," he calls and you freeze just before you reach the door. You hear him get up from his seat and walk around the desk. "Please stay, talk to me Y/N. I miss you so much it hurts."
"I can't," you say almost in a whisper
He touches your arm and you turn to face him, seeing the pain in his eyes. "I miss the way your laughter filled my chambers. I miss hearing you hum to yourself when you think I can't hear you. I miss the sound of your voice and how easy it is to talk to you," he says and you force down a smile and the urge to hold him tightly.
"I can't bear to be without you," he tells you and you want to tell him you can't be apart from him either but you remain silent for fear you'll lose your resolve completely. He strokes your cheek gently and you close your eyes as you lean into his touch. "I love you," he says.
"I love you too," you tell him, seeing a spark of hope light his eyes. You shake your head and take a step away from him, "But I can't do this. I'm sorry." Before he can say anything else you tell him, "It will only hurt more the longer we wait to end this."
"We don't have to end this, now or ever," he insists as he steps towards you. "I promise I will find a way for you to be mine, not just when we are hidden away, but always. You believe me, don't you?"
"I want to," you tell him truthfully. Loki had promised several times to find a way to marry you but you thought it was false hope. "But this isn't a fairytale my prince, we don't always get a happy ending."
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You want to disappear into the marble floor, to be sucked into the wall behind you or simply vanish into thin air but you can't. Instead, you must stand perfectly still and silent as you watch the dancing and merriment around you. You momentarily wish you would go back to a time when you didn't feel an ache in your chest at the mere thought of another woman being in Prince Loki's arms. Shaking your head just slightly, you chase away the thought. As much as this hurts, you will always cherish the limited time you shared with him.
The music changes tempo as the first of seven courses comes to an end. Couples begin to take to the open floor in the center of the ballroom. Prince Thor and Prince Loki make their way to the group of single, eligible women awaiting them, each at a different pace. The older prince seems to now exactly which woman he would like to spend time with first. He offers his arm to her and declares her the most beautiful woman at the ball, causing her to blush and giggle. The younger prince takes his time walking to the crowd and simply takes the hand of the closest woman without so much as glancing at her. His lack of interest does little to dampen her excitement however.
The dozen or so women who were not chosen move away from the dance area and you have to hold back a groan as they gather directly in front of you to wait for a chance with one of the princes. You can't help but listen to them discuss which prince they think is better looking or who they would prefer picked them. The first song ends and the two princes each select another dance partner. Again, Prince Thor takes little time deciding who he wants while Prince Loki simply offers his hand to the first woman he sees. You can practically hear him sigh as she holds his arm and walks quickly to the dance floor.
As the second song begins, one of the women briefly looks at you over her shoulder before motioning towards you to her friends. Your ears go red with embarrassment as she tells them the rumors of your past relationship with Loki just loud enough that she knows you will hear. Of course she gets the ending wrong. She assumes, like everyone else, that the prince grew tired of you and banished you from his bed chambers. You had to admit, it seemed a far more likely story than the truth.
You shift your attention to the ceiling for a moment, hoping that counting the candles in the chandeliers will distract you from their stares and comments. You only count to twenty seven before the sound of a glass shattering draws your gaze back to the guests. A council member laughs loudly, clearly drunk already, as a servant cleans the wine glass from the dance floor.
Your eyes scan the room and easily find Loki at the center of the crowd, a third woman in his arms. Your drawn to his face, studying his features. He smiles at the woman as he twirls her and she giggles but she doesn't know him like you do. She doesn't know that's the smile he uses at court, not the smile he shows you. Showed you, you correct yourself. He glances away, not holding eye contact with her as they move effortlessly across the dance floor.
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After the final course is served, the dance floor fills for the last time and you sigh with relief that the night is almost over. You shift on your feet, looking down for a moment when the chatter of the women in front of you begins again. Why must they stand here to wait, you think to yourself.
The princes once again make their way to their potential dance partners and Thor makes his pick quickly. Loki stands in front of the women for a moment and your eyes lock with his as he looks between them.
"Pardon me," he says politely to the crowd as he moves forward, slipping past the confused women. He makes his way towards you and your breath catches in your throat. He stands in front of you and holds out his hand. You look at him, stunned by his actions. He smiles when you don't move, "Will you dance with me, my love?" Still you remain silent, looking past Loki to see how much attention his actions have drawn. "Don't look at them," he says, touching your cheek softly as you look at him again.
You steady your nerves and place your hand in his. The moment his fingers close around yours, you are surrounded by a light cloud of green, shimmery smoke. When Loki's magic fades, you are wearing a flowing emerald green gown with golden trim, perfectly matching his dress uniform. Your hair has been restyled to hold a small gold tiara with short horns, mirroring the helmet he had worn during his entrance.
"Gods, you look gorgeous in my colors," he says with a wide smile, causing you to blush. "To be fair, you are always beautiful but now it is clear to everyone here that you are mine." You feel as if your heart might burst when he calls you his, he had said it before but only when you were hidden away.
Loki keeps his fingers interlaced with yours as he leads you to the dance floor, straight through the group of now very angry women. Some cross their arms, others give you dirty looks and several make rude comments as you pass. You pause before stepping onto the dance floor, the chatter and stares coming from the guests near you holding you back. He senses your hesitation and leans down to place a kiss gently on your cheek.
Your mind can barely begin to process what is happening as he takes you straight to the middle of the dance floor. He places one hand on your hip and you place your hand on his shoulder as you had done so many times over the last few months. You and Loki shared several secret dances in his chambers and his office, he found it difficult to listen to music sitting still.
He holds you close, his eyes never leaving yours while you dance between the other guests. You focus on how amazing it feels to be back in his arms, ignoring the strange looks and whispers that surround you. He twirls you gracefully and you spin back into him, giggling as you final feel at ease. As the song draws to a close, Loki spins you one final time. When he pulls you back to him, he leans down slightly and your lips meet his.
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You smile up at him, hoping this isn't a dream when you see his mother approaching you. You take a step away from Loki but he keeps his hand on your waist, not letting you go too far. You bow to the queen and she says, "I think it is my turn to dance with my son."
You nod quickly in agreement and Loki let's go of you, his magic fading instantly as your armor reappears. You walk through the crowd with your head down and return to your post, once again wishing you were invisible. The women watch you, gossiping wildly as you pass again. You can only imagine what they are saying but they are not your biggest concern at the moment.
Anxiously, you watch Queen Frigga and her son move across the dance floor. You can't hear what they are saying of course, but you can tell by her expression that there will be consequences for his actions. As the song ends you see your captain approach you and your stomach drops. Loki will not be the only one to be punished for choosing you.
"The king had summoned you to the throne room," he says in a stern voice. You nod in acknowledgement and when you look back towards the dance floor, Loki and his mother are gone.
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I'm almost done with the second part so please let me know if you would like to be tagged! I hope you liked it and if you did, please like, share and comment 💚💚
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vbecker10 · 1 day
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Haha thanks!! I love slipping random things like that in to see if people catch it
Could I request headcanons (or a little scenario if that's what you'd prefer) for loki befriending the new member of their team that can turn into a huge bear and she's used as their heavy hitter in fights but since a bear's sense of smell and hearing is much more sensitive than humans she has a tendency to get bad sensory overloads even in casual settings and shifting between forms sometimes leaves her in pain and just basically how they would bond over time and help her through her struggles. Thanks!
Help you Bear It
(I'm not proud of this pun but @soubi001 will be lol)
Pairing: Loki x female reader (Y/N)
Summary: As the newest member of the Avengers, you are desperate to prove yourself as a heavy hitter who can keep the others safe. You hide the pain you feel when shifting between your human and bear form during training sessions but while you are on your first mission in the field, Loki knows something is wrong. He tries to support you through your shift back to being human and is curious as to why you fight through the pain when you could just never shift again.
Warnings: fighting, minor injuries, anxiety, some sensory issues, pain when shifting forms, feeling useless, feeling like a monster, abandonment issues - don't worry, Loki is super comforting, fluff at the end
A/N: I'm so so sorry it took me forever to get to this request. I'm finally going through my requests and I thought this idea was super interesting. I sort of ran with it a bit so I hope you don't mind if it's a little different from your ask. Thank you for sending it! I hope you like it! 💚
lille bjørn - little bear in Norwegian (I asked Google so hopefully that's right lol)
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You roar loudly, standing tall on your hind legs as Steve spins and throws his shield towards you. Swinging one of your massive claws, you easily swipe it from the air and send it to the ground with a heavy thud. Your attention is pulled from the Captain by the sound of Clint unleashing a series of arrows in your direction. Running on all fours, you avoid being struck as you close the distance between you and Steve.
Without his shield, Steve has little choice but to turn and run from you, hoping one of the others will distract you until he is armed again. Your head turns towards the sound of another series of arrows leaving Clint's bow and you easily change course. Out of the corner of your eye, you see a flash of red and know the God of Thunder has joined the fight. Your attention now shifts to finding Thor, you take a sniff of the cool air and growl when you catch his scent.
Stalking slowly to the tree he is hiding against, you keep one ear open listening to Steve's footsteps through the tall grass. Just as you reach the tree, another arrow zings past you and you stand on your hind legs for a better view of its origin. You finally see the archer, hidden in the thick leaves of a tree several yards away. He is too far for you to do anything at the moment but at least you've located him. Now back to the god and super soldier, you think, your lips curling to show your sharp teeth.
Lightning cracks overhead and the fur around your neck stands up in response, you let out a low growl. The thunder that follows is not enough to hide Steve's approach from behind and you turn to face him. Again, he throws his shield at you with as much force as he can but you swipe it away, embedding it into a nearby tree. With a roar, you charge forward but at the last second, you turn to your left just in time for Thor to land before you, his red cape fluttering around him in the breeze.
He dodges your charge, leaping out of the way but not in time. You reach for him with one of your large claws and pull him back to the ground by his ankle. He swears loudly in Asgardian as you slam him down on his back but before you can continue your attack, you hear Steve pull his shield free from the tree. Three more arrows fired in quick succession soar towards you, you swerve through them and keep your attention fixed on the Captain. Roaring as you run to meet him, he throws his shield for a third time and for a third time you cast it away.
He stands in front of you, ready to continue the fight without any weapons. You growl as your heavy frame collides with him and you send him backwards onto the ground. You rear up, ready to pin the barely conscious Captain America but your ears perk up, alerting you to the electricity in the air. You quickly lower yourself to be on all fours and move away from him just before lightning strikes where you had been. Thor once more lands just behind you, Mjolnir spinning by the leather handle. He charges towards you and you run to meet him.
You rear up on your hind legs, narrowly avoiding being hit by Mjolnir as Thor releases it. Before it can return to him, you throw your weight forward and force him to the ground on his back causing him to miss catching it. It slams through a tree and buried itself into the ground in a hail of splinters. You loom over Thor, your paws pinning him to the dirt as you roar inches from his face.
He looks up at you then yells, "I yield! I yield."
You sit back immediately and the forest around you fades away. Stark white tiles replace the lush grass, the sun brightens into a row of LED lights on the high ceiling and the sound of birds is turned off. You look to your left and watch the rest of the team applaud and cheer your final test through the floor to ceiling glass wall.
Loki cheers the loudest as the replay of you slamming Thor into the ground is shown on a loop on one of the monitors. "That's how it feels!" he says excitedly, getting up from his seat. He laughs to himself and ignores the judgmental looks from Tony and Fury.
You walk over to Steve and nudge him lightly with your nose as he stands slowly. "I yield too," he says with a light laugh, rubbing the back of his head with one hand and the top of your head with his other hand. "Good job, Y/N," he smiles.
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You lay down and rest near the rear of the training room, watching the team leave as they talk and laugh with each other. As soon as the door shuts and the room is empty, you close your eyes and with a deep breath you begin to focus on shifting to your human form. The process is extremely painful and you've been told it's hard to watch so you plan on sparing the others from witnessing it for as long as possible.
You lift your head, suddenly feeling as if someone is in the room with you but as your shift progresses, your senses are overwhelmed and hard to control. With a final roar of pain fading into a groan of agony, you kneel on the floor, fully human again and exhausted.
On shaky legs, you walk over to where you left your backpack and sit heavily on the floor, resting your back against the wall. You grab a bottle of water, drinking the whole thing at once then tear open your protein bar. Your ear twitches and you look up, the feeling of being watched returns. You catch a faint green mist settling near the door but you shake your head when you don't see anyone, assuming your simply exhausted and take a bite of your protein bar.
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The next morning you sit between Loki and Steve on the jet, heading to your first mission. Your leg bounces nervously and you chew on your lip until Steve taps your shoulder and pulls you from your anxious thoughts.
"Try to relax," he says in a brotherly tone.
You nod but continue to bounce your leg which happens to be resting against Loki's.
"Will you please stop that," he Loki says few minutes later. You instantly stop moving your leg and make eye contact with the God of Mischief.
"Sorry," you mumble and look down quickly. You place your hands on your knees and take a deep breath to try and calm your nerves.
"Thank you," he says calmly as he lowers his eyes back to his book.
"Almost there," Natasha calls over her shoulder from the pilot's seat of the jet.
"Great, thanks Nat," Steve responds as he gets up. "You ready?" he asks, standing over you.
"Mmhmm," you nod. You force yourself to keep your eyes on Steve as you feel Loki's eyes fix on you.
"Are you going to..." Steve waves his hand vaguely at you.
"Shift?" you guess and he nods. "Uh... yea, I mean not right now though," you let out a nervous laugh. "Having a bear on a jet doesn't sound like a great idea right? I'll do it when we land."
"Makes sense," Steve agrees easily with a shrug and leaves you to take the copilot seat next to Natasha.
Loki leans towards you and in a hushed voice says, "Remember to stay calm, lille bjørn. You bested my brother and the captain. You will do well today."
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You look up at him but his eyes have returned to his book. "Thanks," you tell him, feeling both stunned by his compliment and a bit more confident. He nods in response and you think you see a faint smile on his lips but he doesn't look up until Steve tells you both you will be landing in five minutes.
"We need to get to the computers they have in basement," Steve says as he catches his shield, spins and sends it flying down the hallway again.
Loki raises his hand and with a green glow, throws three Hydra soldiers into a wall, knocking them unconscious. "Y/N and I can hold them back while you and Widow retrieve the files," Loki offers as he sends two more soldiers flying towards you.
You roar in agreement as you turn your attention to the men Loki sent your way. You pin one to the ground and bite his shoulder before swiping the other across the chest with your claw.
"Sounds like a plan," Natasha says as she follows Steve to the door leading to the stairwell.
Loki creates two duplicates, each armed with daggers to block the path to the door. You turn then rear up on your hind legs and slam a soldier to the ground before he is able to take a shot at Loki.
"Nicely done, lille bjørn," he smiles before a duplicate throws a dagger at another Hydra soldier standing behind you.
Fifteen minutes later, Loki's radio crackles with static and he groans in annoyance as he tries to adjust it with one hand while sending a soldier into a wall with his other hand. "Repeat that captain," he says into the radio.
You lift your head to look towards Loki, your paws resting on the chest of the man pinned under you. More static comes through the radio and Loki looks at you with a shrug, his duplicates vanishing as the hallway seems to be empty. In an instant, you move off the soldier you have on the ground and charge towards Loki.
"What-" he tries to ask as you pass him, grabbing the soldier behind him by the neck and bringing him to the ground. You turn your head to look at Loki over your shoulder and he opens his mouth to speak but the radio crackles again.
"Loki-" Steve's voice can barely be heard over the static. "Run- detonated-"
"We can't understand you," Loki says, you can hear the concern in his voice as you walk towards him on all fours. You lift your head and sniff the air, drawing Loki's attention. "What's wrong Y/N?" he asks even though he's knows you can't answer him.
"You need to leave-" Steve's voice comes through clearer. "They detonated the self-destruction protocol! The stairwell is blocked-" the static returns. "Natasha and I-" he cuts out. "We're almost out but you need to leave!"
Your ears perk as a faint beeping grows steadily louder and you can no longer smell any approaching Hydra soldiers. You nudge Loki hard with your nose and force him to start moving, guiding him back the way you had entered the base. You can hear the count down clock but have no way of letting Loki know how little time is left. He runs next to you, relying on your sense of smell to track the multiple hallways you had followed to lead you this deep into the building.
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You suddenly realize there isn't enough time for you to reach the exit, the building is going to come down around you both. You stop short in front of one of the containment labs and Loki nearly runs into you.
"Y/N, what are you doing?" he asks. You stand on your hind legs and push him into the room. He staggers backwards and catches his balance before he falls. "We need to-" you interrupt his words by slamming your paw into the control panel, causing the large metal door to slam shut.
A moment later the building shakes violently and you position yourself over Loki to protect him from falling debris. Alarms blare as the explosion rips through the base and you close your eyes. When you open them again, there is dust in the air and sparks fly from torn cables and wires in the ceiling. You quickly move yourself away from Loki and he looks at you in stunned silence.
Loki gets up, dusting himself off before he moves to the metal door. You slowly walk to a nearby wall and lay down on the ground to rest. He tries to open the door but between the broken control panel and the damage it sustained during the blast, it's no use. He sits next to you, his back against the wall as the radio sparks to life.
"You guys ok?!" Steve asks in a frantic voice.
"We are unharmed," Loki confirms then he looks at you. "Y/N found us somewhere to be protected from the blast but unfortunately we seem to be stuck."
You hang you head in exhaustion and listen to them talk.
"Nat called Tony and the rest of the team. They're on their way but it could be a few hours until we can get you out," Steve tells him. "Just hang tight."
Loki rolls his eyes and sets down the radio, keeping his eyes on you, he says, "Looks like we may be here a while."
You nod in agreement but barely move. You have never been in your bear form for this long before nor have you spent this long constantly fighting and running. You rest your head on your paws and close your eyes.
"Maybe you should become human again," he suggests. "Not that you are not wonderful company as a bear, but you are a bit easier to talk to when you can actually... well talk." He laughs lightly at the last part.
You lift your head to look at him but lower it again slowly. As much as you need to shift back to your human form, you are almost too tired to even think of the pain that awaits you. You know the longer you wait to shift, the worse the pain will be but you just want to sleep.
You finally give into him and push yourself up on all fours, walking away from him with your head hung low. He stays where he is, watching you closely. When you look over your shoulder he lowers his gaze to the floor but not before you see the concern in his eyes.
He is quiet for a moment and says, "I won't watch, if that is what is stopping you." You shake your head no and he sighs. "Do you not want to shift because of how torturous it seems?" You nod without looking at him, unsure how he figured it out when the rest of the team is still in the dark. "Y/N, you are clearly exhausted," he says, touching your fur gently. "You should shift back so you can rest. This form is taking a heavy toll on you."
You move as far from him as you can in the confined space. Closing your eyes, you begin to focus on your breathing, drawing in slow deep breaths as you start the excruciating process of shifting. Your bones feel as if they are breaking and splintering as they shrink to fit your smaller human form. Your muscles ache and cramp from overuse as your extraordinary strength fades away. A growl of pain escapes you as your joints crack and force your body into a more human-like position on your knees.
You curl up in a near fetal position as your body returns to its human form but your senses remain that of a bear. Covering your ears with your hands, you desperately try to block out the smallest sounds which are now amplified. The faint buzzing of the remaining overhead lights, the soft static of Loki's radio, the sparks from the frayed wires. Squeezing your eyes shut, you attempt to protect yourself from how bright the room suddenly seems even thought most of the lights are broken. The smell of smoke, sweat and blood fills your nose and you can do nothing to stop it. You cry out in pain, wishing it would end and all at once, it does.
You try to take a slow, deep breath and are surprised at how easily your lungs open to take in the air. Your heart rate slows and you push yourself into a seated position on the dust covered floor. The sounds and smells that overwhelmed you only seconds ago are gone and you immediately know why.
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Loki kneels on the ground in front of you, his eyes locked on yours. A bright green glow emanates from his hands and surrounds you, easing your pain and calming your senses. "Is this helping?" he asks in a low voice and you nod, trying to hold back your tears.
"Why didn't you tell me or anyone else how excruciating this is for you?" he asks, his voice full of worry as he lowers his hands.
You answer quietly, "I can't." Loki is the first person you have allowed to see you shift in almost ten years and it makes you feel vulnerable. You try to stand, wanting to be alone but it's too soon after your shift and you lose your balance.
He catches you in his arms and helps you sit against the wall, your legs still shaking. He sets himself next to you and you lift your head as he waves his hand with another green flourish. "Eat, lille bjørn," he says gently as he hands you a protein bar and sets a bottle of water next to you.
You take a bite of the protein bar and realize it is the one you brought with you. Almost to yourself you say, "I left these on the jet."
"I took your bag," he says as your backpack appears next to him.
"Why?" you take another bite, too tired and hungry to be as annoyed as you want to be at the knowledge that he took your things.
He shifts, crossing his legs as he rubs his hands together, his eyes focused on them. "I knew you would need them. I saw you... in the gym after your final test," he admits and your heart plummets realizing what he saw.
"You saw me...?" you echo his words.
"I didn't mean to," he assures you quickly but it does little to ease your discomfort. You were embarrassed enough that he watched you shift when you knew he was here but for him to have seen you without you knowing was almost to much. He wipes away a tear as it runs down your cheek. "I'm sorry," he says but you don't respond. "I had forgotten something in the training room and when I saw you on the ground like that... I was afraid you were hurt in the fight, you seemed to be in so much pain."
"It wasn't from the fight," you say quietly but you know he already knows that.
"How can you continue to shift when it is so obviously painful for you?" he asks genuinely curious. You ignore his question and finish your bottle of water as he makes a second appear. "You should tell them how hard this is for you," he continues. "You know they would understand if you had to stop."
"No. I can't tell them," you argue quietly and he sighs. "I need to shift. It's hard to explain but... I have to prove that when I'm a bear I can protect my friends and keep the team safe. I have to show everyone that I'm not..." you pause and Loki shifts closer to you, his arm wraps around your shoulder as he gently pulls you towards him. "I need to prove I'm not a monster," you finish, looking down as you bring your knees to your chest.
"Who in this realm could possibly think someone as kind and protective as you could be anything close to a monster?" he asks, his voice laced with true shock. "And that is coming from someone who has quite a lot of experience with the term," he adds trying to ease the tension you feel.
You look up at him and he wipes away another tear. You close your eyes and rest your head against his chest for a moment while you gather your thoughts. He sits quietly, letting you take as much time as you need, his fingers slowly move up and down your arm.
Keeping your eyes closed, you lean into Loki's comforting touch and decide to tell him something you've only ever told one person almost 20 years ago. "The first time I shifted... I was ten," you tell him and he continues to hold you close as you open your eyes.
"My class went on a field trip to the zoo. I remember being so excited that morning," you tell him with a faint smile that fades as you continue. "We spent all day there... my mom even chaperoned," he shifts a bit so he can look at you curiously. "Sometimes parents would come to help the teacher keep track of all the students," you explain and he nods without a word.
"We got to the grizzly bear exhibit and..." you shake your head as the memories flood back. "I don't know how it happened, I didn't mean to but I somehow shifted. I remember pain, excruciating pain and then everyone was screaming. I tried to talk, to tell them it was just me but all I could do was growl. The other students in my class were terrified of me. Everyone was running from me, the students, the teacher, the other parents."
"What about your mother?" he asks.
"My mom..." you say slowly and Loki senses your hesitation. He waits patiently for you to continue, he places a gentle kiss on the top of your head and you look up at him, surprised by the gesture. He gives you a small smile but you can tell he seems worried about his question.
"My mom was so scared," you confirm his fears. "I tried to talk to her, I tried to ask her what was happening because I was scared too but it only came out as roars and growls. She kept moving away from me. I just wanted a hug..." you shake your head and begin to cry more freely. "I scratched her face with my claw when I reached for her then one of the zookeepers came running to... to protect her from me."
"Your mother left you there?" you can hear the anger in his voice.
Loki easily pulls you onto his lap and you turn your face so you can bury yourself against his chest. He rubs your back gently and you sit up after a moment, wiping your eyes. You look up at him and continue, needing to finish. "He shot me with a dart or something, I guess," you shrug. "I woke up a few hours later. It was dark outside and I was human again but I was trapped alone in a small cage. I screamed for I don't know how long but no one came."
You nod, "The next morning someone from Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters came to pick me up. I never saw my parents again after that. I swear never meant to hurt my mom or scare anyone... I was just so afraid and no one could understand me, no one wanted to help."
He hugs you close and you cling to him, "I'm so sorry my lille bjørn." He touches your cheek gently and lifts your head so you are looking at him. "I understand more than most your desire to not be seen as a monster but I want you to know I never saw you in that light. No one on the team could possibly think you are anything other than amazing and if they do, I will personally set them straight about the matter," he says and you feel a smile creep across your lips. He strokes your cheek and says, "I know it will be pointless to continue to plead with you to stop shifting..."
You nod in agreement and quickly sit up, "I can manage the pain. It only hurts for a little while I promise." He looks concerned still and you add, "Please don't tell the team."
"I know this is something you think you need to do," you nod again. "And I will not tell them under one condition," he says calmly. His fingers lift your chin so you are looking into his eyes. "You have to promise you will let me help you," he says.
"Like you did before?" you ask, referring to when he held back your pain after shifting.
You nods, "I can dull your pain and dampen your senses as you shift. You are too sweet and caring to experience something so horrific for simply trying to help others."
"My little bear," he says as his radio crackles and Steve announces the team will have you both out in half an hour.
You blush at his words but he doesn't let you hide your face as he asks, "Do we have a deal?"
"Its a deal," you laugh quietly.
He smiles and pulls you against his chest again, kissing your forehead lightly. You giggle and look up at him suddenly wishing he would kiss your lips. As if he heard your thoughts, his hand finds your cheek again and he gently brings his lips to yours. "My lille bjørn," he calls you as you rest with your arms around him.
"What does that mean?" you finally ask.
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I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚 Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!
@soubi001 @mochie85 @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @animnerd @cabingrlandrandomcrap @icytrickster17 @lokisgoodgirl @mischief2sarawr @stupidthoughtsinwriting @mjsthrillernp @holdmytesseract @lulubelle814 @goblingirlsarah @im-briana-stan @foxherder @alexakeyloveloki @siconetribal @lokidokieokie @kneelingformyloki @jiyascepter @eleniblue @loreniscrying @muddyorbsblr @alyeskathewave @loz-3 @firedrakegirl @javagirl328 @princess-ofthe-pages @morally-grey-variant
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vbecker10 · 1 day
Text
He's gonna give it his best shot lol
Language (Part 1)
Part 2 (in progress)
Pairing: Loki x female reader (Y/N)
Summary: Captain Rogers thinks you curse far too much at work so he came up with a way for each word to cost you fifty cents no matter where you are in the Tower. You are desperate for it to stop and go to Loki to see if he has a spell that can help you outsmart J.A.R.V.I.S.
Warnings: swearing lol... obviously?
A/N: I'm so sorry @soubi001 lol and you know why. I've been kicking this idea around in my head for a while because I'm very aware that I swear way more often than a normal person lol hope you enjoy it 💚
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You knock on Loki's door and wait anxiously for him to answer. A few seconds later, the door opens.
"Can I help you?" he asks you with his typical annoyed expression.
"I hope so," you respond. "Can I come in?" You take a step small forward.
"I don't see why that would be necessary," he crosses his arms and leans on the door frame, blocking your path into his room.
You sigh, "Fine, I guess I can show you my problem out here." He raises an eyebrow and waits for you to continue. "Damnit," you swear then look down.
"Y/N, fifty cents has been deducted from your upcoming paycheck as you are in violation of SHIELD's Inappropriate Language Policy, per Captain Rogers' orders," J.A.R.V.I.S. announces from a speaker overhead. A small holographic screen appears next to you, showing your name and SHIELD photo ID at the top, the fifty cent charge in the center and a running total at the bottom.
Loki chuckles and shakes his head, "So the Captain finally made good on his threat."
"Yea. He thinks this high tech swear jar is going to stop me from cursing all the time but all it's doing is annoying the shit out of me," you complain to Loki.
"Y/N, fifty cents has been deducted from your upcom-," J.A.R.V.I.S. announces again.
"Shut up," you tell the program, cutting the announcement short.
Loki smiles at your outburst then says, "What is it you expect me to do?"
"I have no idea honestly," you shrug. "Don't you have a spell for everything?"
"I have a spell for almost everything, yes," he says then he is quiet for a moment as if he is thinking. "I do think I may have a solution to your... issue." He waves his hand vaguely towards the speaker J.A.R.V.I.S spoke from.
"Really?" you ask excitedly. "That would be awesome." You thought it was going to be way harder than this to convince Loki to help you.
He leans towards you and looks you straight in the eyes. "Stop swearing," he says then he goes back in his room and closes his door in your face.
You stand in the hallway, looking at his door and mumble, "Fuck."
"Y/N, fifty cents has been deducted from-"
"Shut the hell up!" you yell, cutting it off again.
"Y/N, fifty cents has been deducted from your upcoming paycheck-"
"I know! I get it," you tell J.A.R.V.I.S. You can hear Loki laughing loudly through his door and you glare at him even though he can't see you. You turn, ready to give up then you suddenly get an idea. You walk close to the door and say, "Just so I know, it would really piss off Steve if I figure out a way to get around this. Tony too, he helped set it up."
He opens the door a second later and you do your best to hide your smile. "It would aggravate them wouldn't it?" he says almost to himself and you nod but try not to look too excited. He sighs and takes a step back to open the door further, "Very well. I think I might have a spell that could work."
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Loki closes the door and you stand awkwardly in the middle of his living area, unsure what to do. You've never been in his apartment before and as far as you know, no one else on the team has either. Loki isn't known for being a fan of having people in his personal space or of people in general.
You look around his living area. One wall is lined with tall, overflowing bookshelves and a leather couch is set against the other wall. A dark wood coffee table matches the end tables, one of which has a short stack of books and a steaming cup of tea. You walk over to the end table with the books and open the cover of the top book, assuming it's what Loki was reading before he opened the door.
"Sorry, I was just-" you suddenly feel nervous being alone with him, maybe this wasn't a good idea.
"Don't touch anything," Loki says from behind you and you close the book quickly, turning to see him standing closer then you expected.
"Sit," he motions towards the couch and you do as he tells you. You sit quietly on the middle of his couch with your hands on your lap, watching him search through the numerous books scattered about. While you wait, your mind wanders to a meeting yesterday morning with the team.
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You take a seat at the rectangular table across from Thor and Bruce, scrolling through your tablet to find the notes for this meeting. Natasha and Clint walk in, followed by Loki then Steve and Tony. Without a word, Steve places a glass jar that says 'Y/N's Swear Jar' on in it between you and Clint.
You look up at him as he sits. "Seriously Steve? I haven't said a damn thing yet," you tell him then groan when he gives you a disappointed look. You reach into your bag to find your wallet and drop in your last two quarters. "Happy?" you ask him as you sit back in your chair.
"I would be happier if you stopped using inappropriate language so frequently," he answers.
"I think the odds of my brother voluntarily attending one of Stark's parties is higher than Y/N giving up swearing," Thor jokes. Loki roll his eyes as his brother nudges him playfully.
You look at thor, "Did you know that people who swear lie less often then people who don't?" Thor shakes his head and you turn to look at Steve, "They've done studies that suggest that people who curse are more honest because they use fewer social filters when they are expressing their opinions."
"Is that true?" Clint leans towards you.
"I have no idea, I read it online," you whisper back.
"That may be, but it is still not appropriate for a work environment," Steve lectures you.
"I send out super professional emails, isn't that good enough?" you ask.
"No," he answers sternly.
"That's bullshit," you cross your arms and look at him. He doesn't say a word, simply looking from you to the jar and back at you. "Ugh, fine." You grab your wallet and take out a bill, "Does anyone have change for a five?"
"Just put the five in there," Fury says when he walks in. "We all know you'll use it today."
"Hurtful," you tell him but you fold up the bill and put it in the jar then you smile at Steve.
"I don't like that look," Tony says and Steve agrees.
"It's like prepaying for ten words," you laugh, "I just have to use the damn things well."
"Nine," Clint says.
"Ah shit," you look at him and Natasha laughs.
"Eight," he smiles.
"Good thing someone is keeping track," Bruce says.
"Is it ok with everyone if we start this damn the meeting now?" Fury asks annoyed from his seat at the head of the table.
"How come he doesn't get a jar?" you ask, leaning across the table towards Steve and pointing at Fury.
Tony laughs, "Believe me, Steve tried."
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Loki smirks as he looks up from one of his books, "This spell may help, it will render you utterly mute."
You stand up quickly, "Yea, no, fuck that."
"Y/N, fifty cents has been deducted-" J.A.R.V.I.S says.
"Oh, come the fuck on," you tell it and Loki laughs again.
"Y/N, fifty cents has been deducted from your-" it repeats.
"Just forget it," you tell him. "You don't know how to help me anymore than anyone else did. Coming here was a waste."
You walk past him towards the door and he says, "Maybe you should ask for a raise."
"Thanks," you tell him in an annoyed tone and open his door.
He sighs loudly just as you step out into the hall. "Fine," he says and you turn to look at him. "I'll help."
"With another stupid suggestion?" you ask.
"No, I'm sure I have a spell here we could use," he tells you, gesturing towards his books.
"Why are you changing your mind?" you ask, unsure if you can trust him.
He shrugs, "Honestly I'm bored."
"Seriously?" you ask, crossing your arms.
"Were you hoping for a different reason?" he asks, crossing his arms to mirror your body language.
You unfold your arms, "I mean... yea. You could see least feel a little bad for me?"
"But I don't," he says with a light shrug.
"Oh... well I guess I'll take it," you tell him and close the door. He nods to acknowledge your decision but doesn't reply.
You sit on the couch while his focus returns to his books. You watch him pick up a hardcover book then put it back, taking the one next to it. He flips through the pages slowly and you ask, "Your not gonna turn me into frog or anything, right?"
He looks up at you confused.
"Thor said you've done that to him before," you explain.
He groans, "It was one time and we were children."
"I'm just checking. I don't know how any of this works," you tell him.
"Clearly," he rolls his eyes and goes back to his book. He looks up again and adds, "If I wanted to turn you into a frog I would have done so already."
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" you ask.
"Yes," he says matter of factly then he goes back to reading.
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You try to get comfortable on Loki's couch but you can't seem to relax, you are afraid to touch anything including the pillows. After a few minutes of silence he sits next to you and you shift away from him a bit. He doesn't seem to notice your reaction and hands you the open book.
"Read this," he says.
"It's in Spanish," you tell him.
"Very observant," Loki nods.
"I can't read this. I took three years of Spanish in high school but it didn't really stick," you explain.
"Humans are so dull without the Allspeak," he mumbles.
"Do you always need to be annoying?" you ask him.
"No," he smiles at you.
"What was your point with the book?" you ask, trying to get back on track.
"I will explain after. Read this part," he points to a specific paragraph.
You give the short paragraph your best attempt. Based on the way Loki flinches at how you pronounce almost every word, you assume you did awful. J.A.R.V.I.S remains silent so you ask Loki what you said.
He smirks, "Something that should have cost you more than a few dollars."
"Really?" you ask and look back at the book. You grab your phone and use it to translate the text. Your eyes go wide at the excessive swearing and insults the character uses to describe another character. "Wow," you laugh, "You weren't kidding."
"Now that you know what it means, try it again," he suggests.
You read it again, your pronunciation still off but when you finish J.A.R.V.I.S charges you for eight words. Loki laughs and you look at him annoyed, "Great, thanks. That was annoyingly useless."
"I thought it was funny," he smiles. "And it wasn't useless. Now we know that it only works if you know what you are saying."
"You're an ass," you tell him.
"Y/N, fifty cents has been deducted from-" the program repeats.
"You owe me $4.50," you cross your arms and lean back on the couch.
He waves his hand and a five dollar bill appears between his fingers. He hands it to you, "I'm sure you'll use the other word soon enough. I want to try one more thing."
"I don't think I trust you anymore," you say, putting the money in your pocket.
"I didn't think you trusted me in the first place," he says.
"I... yea, that's a good point," you tell him.
"Here," he conjures a small notepad and pen before handing them to you.
"Where do you keep this stuff?" you ask looking at the objects.
"A pocket dimension," he explains.
"Right, sure, super normal," you laugh. "What the hell am I doing with this?"
"Y/N, fifty cents has been deducted from your upcoming-"
You groan and put your hand over your face.
Loki smiles and says, "I honesty thought you would keep those fifty cents a few seconds longer."
"You know, no one likes you right," you tell him in response.
"And I am truly devastated by that," he says, putting his hand over his heart.
"Whatever," you roll your eyes. "What do you want me to do with this?" You hold up the pen and notepad.
"I'm looking for a loophole," he says. "Go ahead, write some of your favorites."
You sigh and write a word but nothing happens. You write another and still nothing.
"Interesting," he says then J.A.R.V.I.S activates. "What did you do?" You hold up the notepad and he smirks as he read it. "Well now that's rude," he says, shaking his head.
"It's accurate," you smile then cross out what you wrote.
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"Do you eat pizza?" you ask.
Loki looks up from the book he is reading as he stands in front of the bookcase. "What?"
"Pizza," you repeat.
"Yes, why?" he furrows his brow.
"Its 8:30, I'm ordering food," you tell him. "I came here right after work so I missed dinner."
"No," he says and goes back to his book.
"What do you mean, no?" you ask, looking up from your favorite delivery app.
"I've heard humans are like stray animals, if you feed them, they return," he says.
He sighs but doesn't argue, putting another book in the pile of what you imagine are useless books.
You laugh, "First off, who told you that? And Secondly, if I'm ordering the food, technically that would make you the pet I'm feeding."
"What do you want on it?" you ask him. "Pepperoni, veggies, or are you one of those weird pineapple people?"
"Cheese is fine," he mumbles.
"One cheese pizza it is," you say, ordering from a place nearby. "It'll be here in half an hour," you tell him.
"Wonderful," he says without a smile. "I was so hoping you would be here all night."
"You can always tell me to leave," you say getting up from the couch.
He looks over at you and says, "I could but I won't."
You sit back down, "Okay, I really need to ask... why are you doing this?"
"I'm bored," he answers with a shrug.
"You said that before," you tell him.
"Because that is the answer," he insists but for some reason you don't believe him. You feel like there is more to it but you can't figure it out.
"I thought you were supposed to be good at lying, being the God of Lies and whatever," you say.
"I am the God of Lies and Mischief, not whatever," he corrects you. "And I am not lying. Why else would I want to help you?"
"Because you like me?" you smile and he scoffs. "You have to admit, I'm pretty awesome."
"I do not," he says but you see a hint of a smile on his lips. "Now, will you please be quiet and let me think."
"Can do," you give him a thumbs up.
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You put the pizza box on the coffee table and he sits next to you. "You owe me for half," you say. Before you can tell him how much it is he flicks his wrist and a brown leather wallet appears in his hand. He opens it, takes out a twenty dollar bill and gives it to you. "Wait," you say before he makes it vanish again. "Is that Thor's wallet?"
"Hmm," he opens it. "It would appear so."
"He's been looking for that for like a week," you laugh.
"I'm aware of that," Loki responds.
"Of course you are," you shake your head.
"Do you want to money or not?" he reaches to take the bill back from you.
You pull it away from him and put it in your pocket. "I'm going broke from this fucking thing," you tell him as J.A.R.V.I.S activates again.
"Ah damnit, I forgot to ask for plates," you say, ignoring J.A.R.V.I.S. Loki holds out his hand and two plates appear. "I've got to admit, you are pretty useful," you tell him. He smiles but then you add, "You would be more useful if you could fix my stupid problem though."
"I already told you the easy way is to just stop swearing," he takes a slice.
"That's no fun though," you tell him. "Plus, I really don't want Steve to win."
"What do you mean?" he asks.
You shrug, "Sometimes I do it more when he's around cause I know how much it bothers him."
He laughs, "I can appreciate that type of attitude."
"I thought you might," you smile. "So any progress with the massive pile of books or am I fucked?"
He looks up mid-bite and J.A.R.V.I.S goes off again. "I have not given up yet," he tells you but his attention is focused on the screen that popped up. "Do that again," he says. You sigh, and he flicks his wrist, putting another five dollar bill on the table between you.
"Fuck," you say and the screen appears again with J.A.R.V.I.S 's announcement.
"I'm sorry, the total says $47," he sounds shocked and you cringe. "I thought you said they only turned it on at noon."
"Yea," you take a bite of your pizza.
"You have said 94 swear words since noon," he says.
"Apparently," you shrug but he continues to look at you so you put your food down on the table. "When Steve and Tony first told me about it I was kinda pissed," you admit. "I might have lost a few bucks before I left Tony's office."
He tries not to laugh, keeping his hand over his mouth while you talk.
"Then I went back to my office to try out a few things," you tell him.
"Like what?" he asks.
You take a list out of your pocket and hand it to him. "What counts and what doesn't," you say. "Some words only count in a specific context so there's that."
"That still doesn't account for all of this," he says.
You shake your head, "I wanted to see how far it reached outside of the Tower." You sigh, "It's about half a block in all directions."
He laughs, "I imagine you were quite a sight trying to figure that out."
You laugh too, "You would think so but this is New York. I don't think anyone noticed the weird woman cursing every few feet, followed around by a hologram yelling at her."
"This city truly is very odd," he agrees.
"And yet, you still tried to take it over a few years ago," you shrug and take a bite of pizza.
"Technically, I was trying to take over your whole planet," he reminds you.
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"That's not better," you tell him and he shrugs.
"I found a few spells I would like to try when we finish eating," he changes the topic a moment later.
"Think one of them will work?" you ask hopefully.
"I certainly hope so," he says. "Of course, I could accidently turn you into a frog if something goes wrong."
"That's not funny," you tell him.
"I wasn't joking," he smirks.
I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚 Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!
@soubi001 @mochie85 @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @animnerd @cabingrlandrandomcrap @icytrickster17 @lokisgoodgirl @mischief2sarawr @stupidthoughtsinwriting @mjsthrillernp @holdmytesseract @lulubelle814 @goblingirlsarah @alexakeyloveloki @siconetribal @lokidokieokie @kneelingformyloki @jiyascepter @eleniblue @loreniscrying @muddyorbsblr @alyeskathewave @loz-3 @firedrakegirl @javagirl328 @princess-ofthe-pages @morally-grey-variant @soulpiercing @km-ffluv
301 notes · View notes
vbecker10 · 2 days
Text
Thanks 🙂
Haha same, I would need a raise
Language (Part 1)
Part 2 (in progress)
Pairing: Loki x female reader (Y/N)
Summary: Captain Rogers thinks you curse far too much at work so he came up with a way for each word to cost you fifty cents no matter where you are in the Tower. You are desperate for it to stop and go to Loki to see if he has a spell that can help you outsmart J.A.R.V.I.S.
Warnings: swearing lol... obviously?
A/N: I'm so sorry @soubi001 lol and you know why. I've been kicking this idea around in my head for a while because I'm very aware that I swear way more often than a normal person lol hope you enjoy it 💚
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You knock on Loki's door and wait anxiously for him to answer. A few seconds later, the door opens.
"Can I help you?" he asks you with his typical annoyed expression.
"I hope so," you respond. "Can I come in?" You take a step small forward.
"I don't see why that would be necessary," he crosses his arms and leans on the door frame, blocking your path into his room.
You sigh, "Fine, I guess I can show you my problem out here." He raises an eyebrow and waits for you to continue. "Damnit," you swear then look down.
"Y/N, fifty cents has been deducted from your upcoming paycheck as you are in violation of SHIELD's Inappropriate Language Policy, per Captain Rogers' orders," J.A.R.V.I.S. announces from a speaker overhead. A small holographic screen appears next to you, showing your name and SHIELD photo ID at the top, the fifty cent charge in the center and a running total at the bottom.
Loki chuckles and shakes his head, "So the Captain finally made good on his threat."
"Yea. He thinks this high tech swear jar is going to stop me from cursing all the time but all it's doing is annoying the shit out of me," you complain to Loki.
"Y/N, fifty cents has been deducted from your upcom-," J.A.R.V.I.S. announces again.
"Shut up," you tell the program, cutting the announcement short.
Loki smiles at your outburst then says, "What is it you expect me to do?"
"I have no idea honestly," you shrug. "Don't you have a spell for everything?"
"I have a spell for almost everything, yes," he says then he is quiet for a moment as if he is thinking. "I do think I may have a solution to your... issue." He waves his hand vaguely towards the speaker J.A.R.V.I.S spoke from.
"Really?" you ask excitedly. "That would be awesome." You thought it was going to be way harder than this to convince Loki to help you.
He leans towards you and looks you straight in the eyes. "Stop swearing," he says then he goes back in his room and closes his door in your face.
You stand in the hallway, looking at his door and mumble, "Fuck."
"Y/N, fifty cents has been deducted from-"
"Shut the hell up!" you yell, cutting it off again.
"Y/N, fifty cents has been deducted from your upcoming paycheck-"
"I know! I get it," you tell J.A.R.V.I.S. You can hear Loki laughing loudly through his door and you glare at him even though he can't see you. You turn, ready to give up then you suddenly get an idea. You walk close to the door and say, "Just so I know, it would really piss off Steve if I figure out a way to get around this. Tony too, he helped set it up."
He opens the door a second later and you do your best to hide your smile. "It would aggravate them wouldn't it?" he says almost to himself and you nod but try not to look too excited. He sighs and takes a step back to open the door further, "Very well. I think I might have a spell that could work."
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Loki closes the door and you stand awkwardly in the middle of his living area, unsure what to do. You've never been in his apartment before and as far as you know, no one else on the team has either. Loki isn't known for being a fan of having people in his personal space or of people in general.
You look around his living area. One wall is lined with tall, overflowing bookshelves and a leather couch is set against the other wall. A dark wood coffee table matches the end tables, one of which has a short stack of books and a steaming cup of tea. You walk over to the end table with the books and open the cover of the top book, assuming it's what Loki was reading before he opened the door.
"Sorry, I was just-" you suddenly feel nervous being alone with him, maybe this wasn't a good idea.
"Don't touch anything," Loki says from behind you and you close the book quickly, turning to see him standing closer then you expected.
"Sit," he motions towards the couch and you do as he tells you. You sit quietly on the middle of his couch with your hands on your lap, watching him search through the numerous books scattered about. While you wait, your mind wanders to a meeting yesterday morning with the team.
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You take a seat at the rectangular table across from Thor and Bruce, scrolling through your tablet to find the notes for this meeting. Natasha and Clint walk in, followed by Loki then Steve and Tony. Without a word, Steve places a glass jar that says 'Y/N's Swear Jar' on in it between you and Clint.
You look up at him as he sits. "Seriously Steve? I haven't said a damn thing yet," you tell him then groan when he gives you a disappointed look. You reach into your bag to find your wallet and drop in your last two quarters. "Happy?" you ask him as you sit back in your chair.
"I would be happier if you stopped using inappropriate language so frequently," he answers.
"I think the odds of my brother voluntarily attending one of Stark's parties is higher than Y/N giving up swearing," Thor jokes. Loki roll his eyes as his brother nudges him playfully.
You look at thor, "Did you know that people who swear lie less often then people who don't?" Thor shakes his head and you turn to look at Steve, "They've done studies that suggest that people who curse are more honest because they use fewer social filters when they are expressing their opinions."
"Is that true?" Clint leans towards you.
"I have no idea, I read it online," you whisper back.
"That may be, but it is still not appropriate for a work environment," Steve lectures you.
"I send out super professional emails, isn't that good enough?" you ask.
"No," he answers sternly.
"That's bullshit," you cross your arms and look at him. He doesn't say a word, simply looking from you to the jar and back at you. "Ugh, fine." You grab your wallet and take out a bill, "Does anyone have change for a five?"
"Just put the five in there," Fury says when he walks in. "We all know you'll use it today."
"Hurtful," you tell him but you fold up the bill and put it in the jar then you smile at Steve.
"I don't like that look," Tony says and Steve agrees.
"It's like prepaying for ten words," you laugh, "I just have to use the damn things well."
"Nine," Clint says.
"Ah shit," you look at him and Natasha laughs.
"Eight," he smiles.
"Good thing someone is keeping track," Bruce says.
"Is it ok with everyone if we start this damn the meeting now?" Fury asks annoyed from his seat at the head of the table.
"How come he doesn't get a jar?" you ask, leaning across the table towards Steve and pointing at Fury.
Tony laughs, "Believe me, Steve tried."
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Loki smirks as he looks up from one of his books, "This spell may help, it will render you utterly mute."
You stand up quickly, "Yea, no, fuck that."
"Y/N, fifty cents has been deducted-" J.A.R.V.I.S says.
"Oh, come the fuck on," you tell it and Loki laughs again.
"Y/N, fifty cents has been deducted from your-" it repeats.
"Just forget it," you tell him. "You don't know how to help me anymore than anyone else did. Coming here was a waste."
You walk past him towards the door and he says, "Maybe you should ask for a raise."
"Thanks," you tell him in an annoyed tone and open his door.
He sighs loudly just as you step out into the hall. "Fine," he says and you turn to look at him. "I'll help."
"With another stupid suggestion?" you ask.
"No, I'm sure I have a spell here we could use," he tells you, gesturing towards his books.
"Why are you changing your mind?" you ask, unsure if you can trust him.
He shrugs, "Honestly I'm bored."
"Seriously?" you ask, crossing your arms.
"Were you hoping for a different reason?" he asks, crossing his arms to mirror your body language.
You unfold your arms, "I mean... yea. You could see least feel a little bad for me?"
"But I don't," he says with a light shrug.
"Oh... well I guess I'll take it," you tell him and close the door. He nods to acknowledge your decision but doesn't reply.
You sit on the couch while his focus returns to his books. You watch him pick up a hardcover book then put it back, taking the one next to it. He flips through the pages slowly and you ask, "Your not gonna turn me into frog or anything, right?"
He looks up at you confused.
"Thor said you've done that to him before," you explain.
He groans, "It was one time and we were children."
"I'm just checking. I don't know how any of this works," you tell him.
"Clearly," he rolls his eyes and goes back to his book. He looks up again and adds, "If I wanted to turn you into a frog I would have done so already."
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" you ask.
"Yes," he says matter of factly then he goes back to reading.
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You try to get comfortable on Loki's couch but you can't seem to relax, you are afraid to touch anything including the pillows. After a few minutes of silence he sits next to you and you shift away from him a bit. He doesn't seem to notice your reaction and hands you the open book.
"Read this," he says.
"It's in Spanish," you tell him.
"Very observant," Loki nods.
"I can't read this. I took three years of Spanish in high school but it didn't really stick," you explain.
"Humans are so dull without the Allspeak," he mumbles.
"Do you always need to be annoying?" you ask him.
"No," he smiles at you.
"What was your point with the book?" you ask, trying to get back on track.
"I will explain after. Read this part," he points to a specific paragraph.
You give the short paragraph your best attempt. Based on the way Loki flinches at how you pronounce almost every word, you assume you did awful. J.A.R.V.I.S remains silent so you ask Loki what you said.
He smirks, "Something that should have cost you more than a few dollars."
"Really?" you ask and look back at the book. You grab your phone and use it to translate the text. Your eyes go wide at the excessive swearing and insults the character uses to describe another character. "Wow," you laugh, "You weren't kidding."
"Now that you know what it means, try it again," he suggests.
You read it again, your pronunciation still off but when you finish J.A.R.V.I.S charges you for eight words. Loki laughs and you look at him annoyed, "Great, thanks. That was annoyingly useless."
"I thought it was funny," he smiles. "And it wasn't useless. Now we know that it only works if you know what you are saying."
"You're an ass," you tell him.
"Y/N, fifty cents has been deducted from-" the program repeats.
"You owe me $4.50," you cross your arms and lean back on the couch.
He waves his hand and a five dollar bill appears between his fingers. He hands it to you, "I'm sure you'll use the other word soon enough. I want to try one more thing."
"I don't think I trust you anymore," you say, putting the money in your pocket.
"I didn't think you trusted me in the first place," he says.
"I... yea, that's a good point," you tell him.
"Here," he conjures a small notepad and pen before handing them to you.
"Where do you keep this stuff?" you ask looking at the objects.
"A pocket dimension," he explains.
"Right, sure, super normal," you laugh. "What the hell am I doing with this?"
"Y/N, fifty cents has been deducted from your upcoming-"
You groan and put your hand over your face.
Loki smiles and says, "I honesty thought you would keep those fifty cents a few seconds longer."
"You know, no one likes you right," you tell him in response.
"And I am truly devastated by that," he says, putting his hand over his heart.
"Whatever," you roll your eyes. "What do you want me to do with this?" You hold up the pen and notepad.
"I'm looking for a loophole," he says. "Go ahead, write some of your favorites."
You sigh and write a word but nothing happens. You write another and still nothing.
"Interesting," he says then J.A.R.V.I.S activates. "What did you do?" You hold up the notepad and he smirks as he read it. "Well now that's rude," he says, shaking his head.
"It's accurate," you smile then cross out what you wrote.
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"Do you eat pizza?" you ask.
Loki looks up from the book he is reading as he stands in front of the bookcase. "What?"
"Pizza," you repeat.
"Yes, why?" he furrows his brow.
"Its 8:30, I'm ordering food," you tell him. "I came here right after work so I missed dinner."
"No," he says and goes back to his book.
"What do you mean, no?" you ask, looking up from your favorite delivery app.
"I've heard humans are like stray animals, if you feed them, they return," he says.
He sighs but doesn't argue, putting another book in the pile of what you imagine are useless books.
You laugh, "First off, who told you that? And Secondly, if I'm ordering the food, technically that would make you the pet I'm feeding."
"What do you want on it?" you ask him. "Pepperoni, veggies, or are you one of those weird pineapple people?"
"Cheese is fine," he mumbles.
"One cheese pizza it is," you say, ordering from a place nearby. "It'll be here in half an hour," you tell him.
"Wonderful," he says without a smile. "I was so hoping you would be here all night."
"You can always tell me to leave," you say getting up from the couch.
He looks over at you and says, "I could but I won't."
You sit back down, "Okay, I really need to ask... why are you doing this?"
"I'm bored," he answers with a shrug.
"You said that before," you tell him.
"Because that is the answer," he insists but for some reason you don't believe him. You feel like there is more to it but you can't figure it out.
"I thought you were supposed to be good at lying, being the God of Lies and whatever," you say.
"I am the God of Lies and Mischief, not whatever," he corrects you. "And I am not lying. Why else would I want to help you?"
"Because you like me?" you smile and he scoffs. "You have to admit, I'm pretty awesome."
"I do not," he says but you see a hint of a smile on his lips. "Now, will you please be quiet and let me think."
"Can do," you give him a thumbs up.
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You put the pizza box on the coffee table and he sits next to you. "You owe me for half," you say. Before you can tell him how much it is he flicks his wrist and a brown leather wallet appears in his hand. He opens it, takes out a twenty dollar bill and gives it to you. "Wait," you say before he makes it vanish again. "Is that Thor's wallet?"
"Hmm," he opens it. "It would appear so."
"He's been looking for that for like a week," you laugh.
"I'm aware of that," Loki responds.
"Of course you are," you shake your head.
"Do you want to money or not?" he reaches to take the bill back from you.
You pull it away from him and put it in your pocket. "I'm going broke from this fucking thing," you tell him as J.A.R.V.I.S activates again.
"Ah damnit, I forgot to ask for plates," you say, ignoring J.A.R.V.I.S. Loki holds out his hand and two plates appear. "I've got to admit, you are pretty useful," you tell him. He smiles but then you add, "You would be more useful if you could fix my stupid problem though."
"I already told you the easy way is to just stop swearing," he takes a slice.
"That's no fun though," you tell him. "Plus, I really don't want Steve to win."
"What do you mean?" he asks.
You shrug, "Sometimes I do it more when he's around cause I know how much it bothers him."
He laughs, "I can appreciate that type of attitude."
"I thought you might," you smile. "So any progress with the massive pile of books or am I fucked?"
He looks up mid-bite and J.A.R.V.I.S goes off again. "I have not given up yet," he tells you but his attention is focused on the screen that popped up. "Do that again," he says. You sigh, and he flicks his wrist, putting another five dollar bill on the table between you.
"Fuck," you say and the screen appears again with J.A.R.V.I.S 's announcement.
"I'm sorry, the total says $47," he sounds shocked and you cringe. "I thought you said they only turned it on at noon."
"Yea," you take a bite of your pizza.
"You have said 94 swear words since noon," he says.
"Apparently," you shrug but he continues to look at you so you put your food down on the table. "When Steve and Tony first told me about it I was kinda pissed," you admit. "I might have lost a few bucks before I left Tony's office."
He tries not to laugh, keeping his hand over his mouth while you talk.
"Then I went back to my office to try out a few things," you tell him.
"Like what?" he asks.
You take a list out of your pocket and hand it to him. "What counts and what doesn't," you say. "Some words only count in a specific context so there's that."
"That still doesn't account for all of this," he says.
You shake your head, "I wanted to see how far it reached outside of the Tower." You sigh, "It's about half a block in all directions."
He laughs, "I imagine you were quite a sight trying to figure that out."
You laugh too, "You would think so but this is New York. I don't think anyone noticed the weird woman cursing every few feet, followed around by a hologram yelling at her."
"This city truly is very odd," he agrees.
"And yet, you still tried to take it over a few years ago," you shrug and take a bite of pizza.
"Technically, I was trying to take over your whole planet," he reminds you.
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"That's not better," you tell him and he shrugs.
"I found a few spells I would like to try when we finish eating," he changes the topic a moment later.
"Think one of them will work?" you ask hopefully.
"I certainly hope so," he says. "Of course, I could accidently turn you into a frog if something goes wrong."
"That's not funny," you tell him.
"I wasn't joking," he smirks.
I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚 Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!
@soubi001 @mochie85 @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @animnerd @cabingrlandrandomcrap @icytrickster17 @lokisgoodgirl @mischief2sarawr @stupidthoughtsinwriting @mjsthrillernp @holdmytesseract @lulubelle814 @goblingirlsarah @alexakeyloveloki @siconetribal @lokidokieokie @kneelingformyloki @jiyascepter @eleniblue @loreniscrying @muddyorbsblr @alyeskathewave @loz-3 @firedrakegirl @javagirl328 @princess-ofthe-pages @morally-grey-variant @soulpiercing @km-ffluv
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vbecker10 · 2 days
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Ahh! Thank you for including me! 💚💚💚
I need to read a bunch of these now 🤓
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───── May
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So I decided that I should be making my monthly reading lists to promote some fellow writers even more, even if one person reads a fic from here it would change something, wouldn't it?
(idk if tumblr would let me tag so many writers at once, but the links to fics work so pls check out their profiles too!)
And also if I ever want to reread them it would be easier to find 👀 I'll try my best to make these lists every month ✨️
So here are some lovely fanfics I've read this month, please make sure to give them some love by commenting or reblogging, it means a lot to us writers 🤍
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Fluff: 🥰 | Angst: 💔 | Hurt/Comfort: ❤️‍🩹 | Smut: 🔥 | Dark: 🖤 | Humor: 😆
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@ijuststareatstuffhereok89
Loki's Island Fever [Avengers!Loki x reader] | ongoing 🔥😆
@vbecker10
Talk to Me [Loki x f!reader] Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 is wip | ❤️‍🩹🥰
@lokischambermaid
From The Horny Misadventures of Nomad Steve:
Disciplinary Action [Nomad!Steve Rogers x Agent!reader] 🔥
Positive Reinforcement [Nomad!Steve Rogers x Agent!reader] 🔥😆
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@lokisgoodgirl
Distractions [Loki x f!reader] 🔥
Like a Queen [Loki x f!reader] 🔥
Also check out her upcoming series : The Rite
@buckys-wintersoldier
His name, his property [Dark!Steve Kemp x f!reader] 🖤🔥
Glazed (donut) Holes [Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x girlfriend!reader] 🔥
Teasing [Dom Bf!Bucky x Sub gf!reader] 🔥
Little Perv co-written with @lanabuckybarnes [Stepbrother!Bucky Barnes x Stepsister!Reader x BestFriend!Steve Rogers] 🔥
Bucky Offers You a Better Job [CEO!Bucky x Assistant f!reader] 🔥
Domination [SoftDom!Bucky x Sub!reader] 🔥
How Love Works [Ransom Drysdale x reader] 🥰
@foxherder
Loki imagine (based off The Avengers) [Loki x reader] 🥰
@vbecker10
Help you bear it [Loki x f!reader] ❤️‍🩹
You Can't Hurt Me [Loki x f!reader] ❤️‍🩹
What Prank? [Bucky x f!reader] 🥰😆
Running Into Trouble [Loki x f!reader] 🥰
Whatever It Takes [Loki x f!reader] 🥰 slight🔥
The Dress [Loki x f!reader] 🔥
Don't Forget [Loki x Disabled Female reader] 🥰❤️‍🩹
@loki-cees-all
Keeping Score [TVA!Loki x f!reader] 🔥
@sarahscribbles
Vanilla and Honeycomb [Loki x f!reader] 🔥
@bookishtheaterlover7
How Long Could We Be a Sad Song? [Chris Evans x Secret Girlfriend!Reader] 💔
@muddyorbsblr
Curiosities [Loki x f!reader] 🔥
@mischiefmaker615
Feral [Frost Giant!Loki x f!reader] 🖤🔥
@buckets-and-trees
Give Up [Alpha!Bucky x Fem Omega!reader] 🔥
@simplyholl
The Interview [Rockstar!Bucky x f!reader] 🔥
Truly Desperate [Loki x f!reader] 🔥😆
@lulubelle814
The Accident and the Misunderstanding [Tom Hiddleston x Reader] 💔🥰
@sergeantbarnessdoll
You Stayed [Steve Kemp x reader] 🥰
@buckysdarling
If You Wanna Come, Give My Brother Some [Steve x reader x Bucky] 🔥
@mrs-illyrian-baby
No Sacrifice Without Blood [Vampire!Loki x reader] 🖤🔥
@divine-knight-hand
A Show Of Temptation [Loki x f!reader] 🔥
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So yeah these were all the amazing stories I read this month, make sure to give these a read ! Also if you have any fic recs please let me know ;)
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