BILLBOARD: SYDCARMY

Welp!

They did it

They all did it

Did that!

They've come so far from season 1

This is so hot!!!!!!!

This exchange made me realize that many of you tend to forget that Carmy is a late bloomer who never had any girlfriend before Claire which actually explains his awkward behavior. I know it because I too am an awkward late bloomer (around the same age as Carmy and sharing a lot of common with him) and his behavior totally made sense to me lol

I want you all to keep in mind that when you've been closed off romantic elationships for your entire life, you're not handling them the same way people who started dating in their teens or young adult years (Carmy is most likely in his early 30s and never got into any relationships before).

Carmy, like any late bloomer, was used to never being considered romantically, which explains why he freaked out when Claire started flirting with him and stopped thinking rationally (which is very unfamiliar for emotionally avoidant type like Carmy or I - we'll come back to this later). I understand Carmy's move of giving a false number to Claire yet still accepting to go out with her later may be confusing to many people, but as a fellow late bloomer I immediately clocked it : we are not comfortable with the attention people give to us, but we *know* this behavior is not normal/unhealthy so Carmy eventually giving in may be a way of eventually getting into the mold and abide to the "if you don't open up to others and give them chances, how can you expect building actual relationships?" mantra. Because deep down we want to be like others (because being so closed off all the time can become emotionally draining) and seek to find a way to fit in.

Another thing about people like Carmy/emotional avoidant type is that by being so closed off to the world, we are also extremely deceptive about who we truly are. It makes sense to me that Carmy hides his feelings for Syd and would rather project them onto Claire. That's definitely manipulative, but we'd rather do that than get "uncovered". We tend to think very rationally and our sense of self perseveration is incredibly strong. I just know that howing his bare feelings has to be one of the most terrifying and embarrassing thing for Carmy.

We also don't mind getting confused as someone we are not in which we feel some sort of relief because it keeps our real self away from others perception (if that make sense???). Carmy passing himself as "Logan" in that party -while being quite extreme- is totally on brand actually lol. I regularly get mistaken as a male (I'm lowkey gnc) but I never bother correcting people lol I'm fine being whatever they see me as, as long it's not the real me.

Talking about self preservation: we don't ask and don't tell. Carmy sister being mad at him for never asking her whether she was okay was extremely relatable because I tend to get the same reproach from my own sisters. Very typical of us. Fleeing to the other side of the globe to cope with a family member death is something I *get* because we are avoidant in nature. We can also be insane hustlers and tend to cope with grief or unhealed emotions through work.

On the positive side, we are extremely independent and self reliant. The scene in the fridge (last episode of season 2) where Carmy loses his shit and says he was mad at himself for indulging in all "this bullshit" (= love and relationships) I FELT THAT. Countless times I prayed to God to remove from my heart my "shameful" longing for love & intimacy that I always felt hindered me in my quest for excellence & satisfaction in any other aspect of my life. Because we are very rational & practical people and lowkey despise "useless" stuff like relationships and feelings. And that's where the messed up part comes up.

I wouldn't be surprised Carmy lowkey despises Claire for being so clingy and courting him so openly. As I just said, we tend to look down on (bold) displayal of love and emotion which lowkey repulse us. I think that's why Carmy dislikes his sister's husband when he's an all around good guy. He may have a resentment (and even jealousy?) against this man that has no issue showing affection - not only to his sister, but also the rest of the family. Which Carmy still struggles to do so far.

This may also explain why Carmy is suddenly so cold with Claire when he's serving her at the table (beside him allegedly previously making up his mind to break up with her). That's why the moment he hears that voicemail of Claire saying she "loves him" he THROWS AWAY his phone. Because that's disgusting.

I think the CarmyxSyd dynamic is unique because there's a dimension of respect between both. They share the same passion for cuisine, and Sydney constantly pushes Carmy out of his comfort zone. As an avoidant emotional attachment type myself, when I think of the type of people I potentially could be attracted to, I can only think of people I have deeply respect for, and bring objective value into my life AND skills. I've seen people criticize the fact that Sydney was pretty much a "warrior worker" for Carmy (and pretty much the whole Bear crew) and that's true. But regardless it's a good or bad thing, that's pretty much the type of profile that may attract avoidant emotional type of people. Bonding through work & shared passion is our safest field to build romantic connection through. That's why Carmy made Syd sign a partnership agreement instead of a marriage contract 💅🏾 that's the safest way for him to convey his feelings.

Again, we are very rational people and in every type of relationship, we instinctively jauge whether & how this person might be useful for us. It doesn't mean we built relationship with people depending on whether they can be useful for us or not, but that's definitely in a part of our head somewhere. Yes, that's fucked up (1/because we are 2/that's why emotionally distant people can become pretty unlikable - i.e Carmy carmying), but you have to keep that in mind to understand how Carmy moves. Which tracks back to Claire's actual purpose I've elaborated just before. He definitely uses her, but most likely unknowingly.

Had never seen this full sequence before - his face by the end 😆

Last pic via @falllpoutboy

OH my god, i don’t know if anyone has noticed this yet, so im sorry if im just regurgitating info, but of course the sixth episode is about Tina 😭 It’s called napkins and the episode description says the restaurant is out of C-folds, which are napkins.

in season one, Tina tells carm how they were out of napkins for a month and mikey didn’t want to pay cause they wouldn’t be able to pay again. it’s specifically her that brought that up. also could def have some flashback aspects of it

i’m so excited, i hope this is true 😭 i was hoping to get a lot more tina and ebra last season after they were going to culinary school but i need MORE!! i love me some tina real bad

the insufferable person i'll become when i see "directed by Ayo Edebiri" on my screen

FX please stop playing with my emotions I’m not strong enough for this

i’ve been rewatching the bear (probs the 9th time) and i fear that maybe we are actually being delusional about sydcarmy???

could they just be coworkers?… are we all touch starved individuals reading between non existent lines! are they just platonic soulmates? who knows, not me that’s for sure

i fear…

“Boy’s got some beautiful blue eyes. You know what I mean? Those are eyes you want to project onto.”

Ayo Edebiri on THE BEAR Co-Star Jeremy Allen White

Updated Episode Descriptions for The Bear Season 3

via the futon critic

thoughts:

the fuck is “The Computer”?

we’re gonna zoom through a MONTH in one episode?? why do i feel like this is when carmen starts losing his shit fr

what does the restaurant being out of menus have to do with anything? how does one even run out of c-folds

who is carmen thinking about apologizing to? there’s so many people it could be 😭

i really need syd to be there when nat gives birth. like separate from carmy they have such “sister i never had” vibes

if carmy ends up turning his own best friend (sydney) against him and season four they're competing against each other

that would be crazy

SYDCARMY: REAL SYDCARMY IYKYK

There's real life sydcarmy

I love them

AYO EDEBIRI wins for Best Performance in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy for The Bear (FX / Hulu) as Sydney Adamu

#Thank you and congrats on dental insurance Ayo

women stories matter

AYO EDEBIRI accepts the Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series award for 'The Bear' at the 75th Primetime Emmy Awards at Peacock Theater — January 15, 2024