#Killing yourself to live
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𝔅𝔩𝔞𝔠𝔨 𝔖𝔞𝔟𝔟𝔞𝔱𝔥 ♰
#black sabbath#in concert#concert#ozzy osbourne#ozzy#1974#70's#70s#heavy metal#classic rock#doom metal#UK#Killing Yourself to Live#iommi#tony iommi
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#Black Sabbath#Killing yourself to live#Sabbath Bloody Sabbath#Ozzy Osbourne#Geezer Butler#Tommy Iommi#Bill Ward#Don Kirshner's Rock Concert#1975#lyrics#gif
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8:16 PM EST February 21, 2024:
Black Sabbath - "Killing Yourself To Live"
From the bootleg
Convention Center Asbury Park New Jersey
(Recorded August 5, 1975)
Last song scrobbled from iTunes at Last.fm
Recorded August 5, 1975, on the Sabotage tour. Broadcast on the "King Biscuit Flour Hour" back in the day, then resurrected and leaked when it was considered for legal release at the turn of the century. So soundboard recording, master tapes, the whole schmeer.
Also bootlegged under the titles Heaven And Earth, Sabotaged, and Accidental Overdose.
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Lenore wants me to be a slightly different person than who I actually am, and I can't force myself to care about the things that are important to her. So even when we both 'win,' nothing really changes.
Killing Yourself to Live by Chuck Klosterman
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I AM SOFT AND KIND AND FULL OF LOVE
#everything everywhere all at once#eeaao#movie lists#movie sessions#this movie gave me so much to think about#nilhism and existentialism will always get to you#and maybe you'll never be the utmost potential of what you could be#maybe you are living the worst possible life possible and all the choices you've made are wrong but the only way out is through#the fact that killing yourself is not the answer and figuring out to be happy woth what you have and where you are is such a cute message#also thinking about how family members always go through so much and there's generations of built up trauma#but you still can find comfort with them#a universe where nothing matters is so liberating#just gotta be kind#michelle yeoh#ke huy quan#stephanie hsu#jamie lee curtis#daniel kwan#daniel scheinert#a24#this movie is basically jester's privilege#also my ramblings make no sense but at least ik how to walk my path better now
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not to be insane about yuri manga on main but Vampeerz has one of the rawest lines about internalized homophobia/sexuality struggle I've ever read in my life
#vampeerz#'you've lived all this time by killing yourself' will live in my mind rent free til the day i die i think#mangacap#yuri manga
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when i say "kayne malevolent is so spiral" i don't mean the magnus archives fear entity spiral btw. i mean junji ito's uzumaki. the crawling chaos that throws your life into disarray and demands your attention. the spiral that will bring down an entire city as entertainment. just to capture an audience for itself.
in terms of tma fear entities, i strongly believe he's entirely of the slaughter.
#i very recently bought my own copy of uzumaki and im. obsessed.#oh no thats exactly what the spiral wants auughhh#but anyways yeah not every weird chaotic character belongs to the spiral#unexpected erratic violence for no good reason? living in fear that someone unpredictable will attack or hurt you suddenly?#killing every other version of yourself out there just to be the only one??#that's so slaughter. that's SO slaughter.#dude he even has the slaughter's main motif: being covered in blood.#malevolent#malevolent podcast#malevpod#kayne malevolent#tma#the magnus archives#uzumaki junji ito
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Black Sabbath ♱
#black Sabbath#killing yourself to live#Ozzy osbourne#sabbath bloody sabbath#bill ward#geezer butler#tony iommi#heavy metal#classic rock#doom metal#70s#70's#uk
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to everyone doing their finals right now, remember: GRADES ARE TEMPORARY, SOUP IS ETERNAL
do whatever you can and treat yourself to some soup after :)
#gpa doesnt matter when youre dead#on a similar note if nobody has already tried to kill you over something dont go killing yourself over it either#live with the confidence of a mf who sees nothing wrong with what they do and the audacity to not care even when they do know#soup#am still gonna cry over this essay though#if i get the chance later i'll see if my prof will let me make a better version just to satisfy my desire to elaborate#finals week
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youtube
8:28 PM EST January 8, 2023:
Black Sabbath - "Killing Yourself to Live"
From the album Sabbath Bloody Sabbath
(December 1, 1973)
Last song scrobbled from iTunes at Last.fm
File under: The Doom that surpasses all other Doom
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exalt
#Naruto#Kakuhida#Hidakaku#Hidan#Kakuzu#something something hidan lives his life in extremes#something something doesn't know how to regulate his emotions#he either loves something or hates it#you either have to die or you can never leave his side#in this way everything Hidan loves is made into a god#do it. obsess until it kills you#you want to you want to so bad#deify the love of your life instead of admitting you had nothing before him#when idolizing someone is easier than submitting yourself to the mortifying ordeal of being known and loving them normally#I am normal about Hidan#i AM NORMAL#when the only way you can express your love is by putting people so far above you it reinforces your abysmal self worth and keeps you#at arms length inherently#thus making it impossible for closeness and intimacy to exist thus keeping anyone you love from hurting you ever#YOU WIN HIDAN#YOU WIN#myart
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Protecting MK with a costlmk
#I will take my SWK and Mei parallel crumbs thank you#Like. Getting attacked by the curse and throwing yourself in front of MK (to which there are consequences) and then getting separated#Using your power to protect the people you care about indeed#So they both do it for MK but MK does it for Wukong in 4x13#And then what's the consequence? Going into Monkey Form#AND THEN. And then#If EAMK proves true and MK had a fucked up past life#We can then apply Azure's speech to MK: ''After all MK has put you through...''#Let me have this.#My ''MK killed the pilgrims'' agenda continues#Damn originally I was going to go on a ''protecting MK at a cost'' rant for why the exchange theme will ruin our lives#But I really got side tracked there#Anyways: MK's one life against the world#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk parallels#lmk SWK#lmk Mei#lmk theme: exchange#opening my third eye tonight#to protect the ones I care about
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Your life isn't a to-do list. You're allowed to exist, to take life as slow as you'd like. The dreams you have won't suddenly disappear. It's okay to stop and smell the roses, or to engage with "childish" things, or to recover, or do what you need to.
#positivity#encouraging words#life doesn't need to be a speedrun or a 100% run#sometimes it feels like i'm wasting my life but... who gets to tell me what is wasteful? i'm surviving out here and that's okay#and it's okay if you're also somebody who people think is 'wasting your life'#that's such a meaningless and frankly a very cruel thing to say to a person#because you'll see people call somebody's life wasteful because they're simply coping with disability/mental illness/grief/ect#it's a meaningless saying to tell somebody how YOU think they're wasting life. your life isn't a waste point-blank#we ought to be kinder to ourselves for choosing what we want/need out of our lives rather than placating to what is imposed on us...#...or the expectations we impose on ourselves#be kinder to yourself whenever you can. it's hard as hell but please choose kindness toward yourself#just something i thought about and felt like it was impirtant to me#i couldn't complete high school 'on time' because of covid and because i was in crisis. i felt so much shame about that. i felt stupid...#...i felt unworthy. but who decided that i am those things? the crisis i was in could have killed me. i couldn't deal with school then...#...it humbled me because i had to learn that i am not immune to needing to be kind to myself. i am human - i'm not a mindless drone...#...you aren't a mindless drone either. you are an individual. you deserve to feel safe. you deserve understanding and compassion...#...but not ONLY from others. you deserve it from yourself as well
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i can't even look at season 1 dean winchester anymore it makes me break out in hives. they literally gave him a soulmate and then spent 10 years ripping them apart in increasingly brutal and hopeless ways. they were in LOVE (canon) and they DIED and they won't even be reunited in HEAVEN. and he has no idea how his life will unfold
#genuinely spn writers are sick freals for this who need to answer for their crimes. what do you mean he spends an eternity living down the#street frim his father but hell necer see cas again. kill yourself
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I keep thinking about Durge, who, even after defying Bhaal, is never truly free from their father's legacy.
Because yes, the Urge is gone, the cursed blood of Bhaal doesn't call to them anymore. But body remembers, even if mind doesn't. Body knows what it did, it knows what it was created for. It's instinctual, bone-deep reflexes of a person raised to be the perfect murderer. It's little twitches and how easily opponents fall: foes and former allies alike.
It's small glimpses of the past, because mind doesn't remember, but the body DOES. It's the eerie familiarity of darkest corners of Baldur's Gate, it's people recognizing Durge on the streets, people they don't remember but who remember THEM.
It's the feeling of being haunted by your own self.
It's the body of Ketheric, the bloody mess left of Orin, Gortash's lifeless frame. It's the knowledge you're the last one, what this tragic story of conquer started with you and ends with you.
It's the feeling of emptiness where bubbling joy once was, the blood on the blade what brings no feelings. It's being charming, or kind, or honest, or gentle, or honorable, but at the end of the day still being the best in the art of murder - and who are they if not Bhaal's unholy blade?
Godless and fatherless, struggling to reimagine themselves.
Especially when memories come; they never return fully, never in the whole picture. But glimpses, the shards of existence what was once theirs cut deeper than any ritual blade would.
I keep thinking about Durge weighted down by the grief of the world, guilt of the world.
Alone: without a god, a father, a sister, a partner (Gortash, bc these two were absolutely insane for each other).
Alone and with whole life ahead; lost and confused and with hands bloodied.
Hero, people call them. They don't feel like a hero.
#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate spoilers#dark urge#bg3 durge#the 'it started with us in ends with us' narrative is killing me#durge who is a tragic hero who at the end of the day is not the person they started with#and not the amnesiac from the nautilus#but the mix of both#martyr and murderer#savior and monster#also gortash my beloved. I keep having headcanon where Durge and him sworn loyalty to each other before orin lobotomised durge#swore like on infernal pact the ritual whay doesn't allow them betray each other#what links their lives together so they die as one#ultimate trust fall and safety feature#'you can't kill me because it would be killing yourself'#durge convinces Bhaal it's ok bc it only means Gortash and Durge will be the last men standing when the time comes#and when durge kills Gortash they will ki themselves too#making the ultimate last tribute to bhaal#but secretly durge is a survivor#they want to live more than they want to please father#so chaining them and gortash by the pact is a safety measure to make sure they don't kill gortash#bc killing gortash would be killing yourself and the self wants to survive#despite everything#so then in act 3 when durge dies and is reborn Gortash feels it#and when Karlach raises an axe to end up Gortash Durge cries in pain#because you can either kill one or neither#don't mind me I'm just plotting to keep rat coded evil boyfriend of my durge alive#durge has 2 hands he can have TWO rat-coded boyfriends#Astarion upon seeing the pact tattoo over the durge's heart: you too hug#and then Raphael is like 'THIS tattoo is the oath of loyalty actually. the closest thing devils have to a marriage pact'
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