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c3berus · 2 days

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𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐀𝐒 𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐍 (𝐊𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐆) reunites with his collage professor, however this time his fantasies cum in an almost obsessive way.

𝗧𝗪: yandere tendencies, cheating, taboo, drugging, overstimulation, a bit of smut. use of yellow color, married male reader, sub! afab konig, dom! male reader

𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭𝐲 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 — 𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐲 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐮𝐬

tobias waismann or konig was a filthy rich businessman, just freshly 23. though he had one issue, he had no one to share his hard work with. no one to dote on and care for. his career had made him so busy that he had never batted an eye on just what he would do once he’d become successful. he needed something no someone to fill the void in his heart, and the ache to his pussy.

his “love life” was just meaningless empty fucks. none of them ever fuck him how he preferred it, they usually left him dazed and unsatisfied no one ever did it how he yearned for it. none of them were real men. they were meaningless boys, immature, inexperienced boys. he hated it. he craved something..older, something mature.

konig’s thoughts were interrupted when whatever divine power practically handed his solution right over..his 8 years older solution.

—

“one of the usual.” you rasped, moving to lean on the bar’s edge. you let out a rough sigh, these past weeks were just insufferable. stupid deadlines, assignments that were way above your pay grade quite literally, lazy students who expect overachieving grades, it was a shit show. on top of all of that, your wife had been practically clawing down your back about you going to bars. you were quite vexed.

“long day professor?” a very familiar voice rung out from your right. you smiled before you could help it and turned to meet the eyes of your old student. tobais waismann, god he looked amazing. while you two conversed you couldn’t help but let your mind run with your thoughts of him. you watched his mouth, lips so full, you wondered how he’d look sucking you off.

then your eyes trained to his neck, the neck that you ached to fill with marks and pretty bruises, your dick could second that. finally, you reached his eyes, his big innocent eyes. you loved how they were filled with emotion as he talked about his job, but you wanted to see his face flushed and his tears mixing with your spend as he felt everything and nothing all the same. your eyes darkened, he awoke something dar- no. primal..in you.

you couldn’t deny your attraction for him, if you did? you’d be a liar, and a stupidly shameful fool that cupid himself would strike dead. your puppy couldn’t have that as his beloved now could he?

—

soon it grew into the latest hour and you both big your goodbyes. as he headed for the door you let your eyes wander, his pants definitely did him well, emphasizing every slutty, plump part of him with rigor. you weren’t complaining, it was quite the sight. you tore your eyes from the door as he disappeared behind it.

you turned you attention to the bar inhabitants around you, observing. a few minutes later you were gathering your things to head home, as you walked out of the bar you rubbed your hands together and headed for your truck. as you were approaching your driver’s door your name was called from behind you.

“mr y-y/n,” konig started as you turned to him. “you wouldn’t happen to know anything about motorcycles would you?”

you glanced behind konig looking at his bike before turning on your car, you turned on the heat and allowed konig to sit in it as you headed to his bike. you crouched by his bike and started your inspection.

—

konig smirked while he sat in the truck, fingers tracing the shape of the part he took off of his bike. he watched the way your arms flexed and prodded at his bike. he would have you tonight, he was sure if it. he had a carefully arranged plan, it was foolproof. his pussy throbbed at the view of you placing his bike on your truck bed. he felt his finger brush along the pill in his pocket.

his game has started..

—

you got into your truck before pulling out of the parking lot, not looking at tabias you spoke lighting a cigarette. “you’re missing a part, i have said part at the den, we can swing by and get it and i can fix your bike so you can be on your way, that’s okay with you love?” you didn’t miss how he shuffled in his seat before nodding.

you made it home and took his bike off your bed, before inviting him in for another drink. as you both made it into your house, you placed your keys in the bowl that was on the stand that you placed in the entrance hall, noting your wives were gone. probably off to see that massage therapist…

you sighed and led him to your kitchen, you talked for a bit before making your way to the liquor cabinet, your laughter was cut short by the sound of your wives stomping and angry mutters. you didn’t even notice that she had arrived. as soon as her sights set on you she seethed, spewing curses, you couldn’t even focus on what she was so mad about, wanting her to leave. she was a pest, a nuisance, she was interrupting your time with your beloved.

—

konig silently watched and seethed at the sight of some cheap whore yelling at his schatz. she didn’t feel konigs glare, neither of you did, to busy yelling back and forth at each other. konig thought of all the ways he would get rid of her, how he’d torture her for even raising her sickening voice at you. she doesn’t know how to worship you, how you please and pamper you, but konig does, he always has. it’s time you saw it for yourself.

he was brought back to the present by a slap that echoed through the walls. he immediately looked up, a shocked look in his face. she..she had slapped you. konig took a step towards her, fist closing, before she stormed out of the house. tires screeching at her departure.

his eyes immediately went to you, shocked that you were already looking at him. his stomach dropped at the dark look you were giving him, you looked like a predator locking in on prey. god, did he fucking love it. his pussy practically flooded with arousal. he took a step towards you and your eyes followed his every move, silent. “h-how about that drink?” he stammered cursing his nervousness, this was his game, he needed to get back in control, and fast.

you stalked up to him, drink in hand as you stopped in front of him, and placed the drink onto the table beside both of you. konig heard you mumble something about the bathroom as you walked past him. his heart hammered, it was time. he grabbed two glasses, fixed your drinks and leaned against the table. he wiped his hands on his pants before unbuttoning two of his buttons and checking to see if his hair looked desirable.

—

as you made your way back to konig, frustration and arousal were the most intense feelings you’d felt. you just wanted to pump your load into him for the rest of the night and make him round with the amount of cum you’ll empty into him. you walked back into the kitchen to see that he listened to you well.

he leaned against the table both your drinks in his hands. you grabbed your drink and sat at the table, not missing the way konig stared at you. he waited on you to drink it, you took a sip and that’s when you felt it.

you stupid little boy didn’t make sure the pill had dissolved completely. you made sure not to let your body give away anything before placing your glass down and smiling almost predator like.

—

it took less than 20 minutes to have konig laid onto the top of the table staining it with the amount of times he’s cum around you. you rutted into him brutally, aiming to hit his prostate with every pump of your cock. the squelch of your cum spraying out of his cunt with every thrust was so disgustingly good.

he was covered in cum, who’s? you couldn’t remember or care. you’d been at it for a while, you loved this look, you made sure to commit it to memory, permanently ingrained into your soul. the dazed empty look in his eyes, the tears that waterfalled down his cheeks, the way his tongue practically hung out of his mouth like some pathetic dog, drooling everywhere. and the way he held you with vice was just begging you to fuck your kids into him and stain his insides white.

He was renaissance art.

He was the thrill romeo felt when he finally kissed juliet

you would let the world burn for him

he was your god and you, a far to gone devotee. you wanted to worship him, to break him, to shape him to your liking.

He…was your sick, pathetically sweet obsession.

you were strewn out of your thoughts by the lack of noise from your puppy. you came for the 5th time and glanced down at konig. he was completely fucked stupid. he panted like a bitch in heat and involuntarily twitched. you stopped fucking into him. “what’s the color puppy?” you waited on your question to register into his mush mind, basking in his glow. he blinked and looked at you. “yellow sir.” he whimpered grinding onto your dick slightly and twitching when he managed to find his prostate. you knew he wanted more but simply couldn’t take it, it didn’t want to ruin your new toy.

you nodded, smiled and kissed temple then his lips, tasting yourself on him before pulling out despite his whines and babbling. you sunk to your knees, dragging his hips along with you. you kissed and bit at his thighs, leaving marks like they were freckles peppering his skin. konig begged you to make him cum before shushed him, repeatedly kissing his puffy, red pussy. he twitched with every kiss and tried to push away from you while shaking his head no trying to pull you back into his pussy, he believed that that’s where you belonged, bust deep into him fucking him absolutely mad. his mind wanted it, but his body couldn’t handle it.

you started to lick him clean, pushing any of your cum that slipped out back with you fingers. he came again and slumped comfortably and completely, rubbing over his stomach, toying with the cum that was in his stomach.

you finished cleaning him up before plugging him up and carrying him to your bathroom to wash up.

—

after you a good bath, you and konig laid in you bed his head on your chest, he was asleep, your activities wearing him out. you stayed up, deciding that you were going to divorce your wife and peruse your true love. as you finally dozed off, you felt a warm leak of something on your dick. you opened your eyes and looked under the covers to see konig kitty licking at your head. you sighed and smiled, putting the cover down once again and gently holding your husbands hair as he sucked you off.

cupid is a bastard. a smart, cunningly great bastard.

and you’d thank him everyday for his gift.

thee end. fun fact, this was longer and more detailed but tumblr kind of glitched out and i had to re write 4 hours worth of work just clipped. am i happy about the outcome?, yes. was it frustrating? also yes. did you like it? ill leave that answer to the masses. also, i liked konig to have an actual name so i named him, is it fitting?

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feminist-space · 9 hours

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"Artists have finally had enough with Meta’s predatory AI policies, but Meta’s loss is Cara’s gain. An artist-run, anti-AI social platform, Cara has grown from 40,000 to 650,000 users within the last week, catapulting it to the top of the App Store charts.

Instagram is a necessity for many artists, who use the platform to promote their work and solicit paying clients. But Meta is using public posts to train its generative AI systems, and only European users can opt out, since they’re protected by GDPR laws. Generative AI has become so front-and-center on Meta’s apps that artists reached their breaking point.

“When you put [AI] so much in their face, and then give them the option to opt out, but then increase the friction to opt out… I think that increases their anger level — like, okay now I’ve really had enough,” Jingna Zhang, a renowned photographer and founder of Cara, told TechCrunch.

Cara, which has both a web and mobile app, is like a combination of Instagram and X, but built specifically for artists. On your profile, you can host a portfolio of work, but you can also post updates to your feed like any other microblogging site.

Zhang is perfectly positioned to helm an artist-centric social network, where they can post without the risk of becoming part of a training dataset for AI. Zhang has fought on behalf of artists, recently winning an appeal in a Luxembourg court over a painter who copied one of her photographs, which she shot for Harper’s Bazaar Vietnam.

“Using a different medium was irrelevant. My work being ‘available online’ was irrelevant. Consent was necessary,” Zhang wrote on X.

Zhang and three other artists are also suing Google for allegedly using their copyrighted work to train Imagen, an AI image generator. She’s also a plaintiff in a similar lawsuit against Stability AI, Midjourney, DeviantArt and Runway AI.

“Words can’t describe how dehumanizing it is to see my name used 20,000+ times in MidJourney,” she wrote in an Instagram post. “My life’s work and who I am—reduced to meaningless fodder for a commercial image slot machine.”

Artists are so resistant to AI because the training data behind many of these image generators includes their work without their consent. These models amass such a large swath of artwork by scraping the internet for images, without regard for whether or not those images are copyrighted. It’s a slap in the face for artists – not only are their jobs endangered by AI, but that same AI is often powered by their work.

“When it comes to art, unfortunately, we just come from a fundamentally different perspective and point of view, because on the tech side, you have this strong history of open source, and people are just thinking like, well, you put it out there, so it’s for people to use,” Zhang said. “For artists, it’s a part of our selves and our identity. I would not want my best friend to make a manipulation of my work without asking me. There’s a nuance to how we see things, but I don’t think people understand that the art we do is not a product.”

This commitment to protecting artists from copyright infringement extends to Cara, which partners with the University of Chicago’s Glaze project. By using Glaze, artists who manually apply Glaze to their work on Cara have an added layer of protection against being scraped for AI.

Other projects have also stepped up to defend artists. Spawning AI, an artist-led company, has created an API that allows artists to remove their work from popular datasets. But that opt-out only works if the companies that use those datasets honor artists’ requests. So far, HuggingFace and Stability have agreed to respect Spawning’s Do Not Train registry, but artists’ work cannot be retroactively removed from models that have already been trained.

“I think there is this clash between backgrounds and expectations on what we put on the internet,” Zhang said. “For artists, we want to share our work with the world. We put it online, and we don’t charge people to view this piece of work, but it doesn’t mean that we give up our copyright, or any ownership of our work.”"

Read the rest of the article here:

https://techcrunch.com/2024/06/06/a-social-app-for-creatives-cara-grew-from-40k-to-650k-users-in-a-week-because-artists-are-fed-up-with-metas-ai-policies/

#ai theft of art #anti ai #Cara #jingna zhang

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navree · 2 days

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still on this, THE THING IS the bones of this aren't even actually that bad.

bruce has done something horrendous, something objectively heinous, to his child, and to his child who has already suffered so egregiously in such a short lifespan (until they start letting dick grayson be a man in his thirties jason cannot be older than early twenties, like, college age early twenties, at max he's only barely legally allowed to drink). and he has the perfect out he could use if he wanted to deflect responsibility, it was zur, it wasn't really him, so he cannot really be faulted for what he's done. but he doesn't take it, he chooses the hard path but the right path, and takes responsibility. he acknowledges that even if he wasn't in his right mind, it was still him, a version of him anyway, that did something really, really bad to someone he's sworn to love and protect and who did not deserve anything like that. bruce taking the ownership for his shitty decisions rather than trying to find the loophole, that's good. and it can even work with jason attempting to brush it off, like i mentioned before, jason is canonically a forgiving person who does not prioritize himself, and will continuously turn the other cheek to those who hurt him if they happen to be people he loves. i can absolutely see jason trying to give bruce that out (though not with that fucking therapy speak bullshit, jason todd has never been to therapy because people with healthy coping mechanisms don't create the fucking red hood plan at the big age of sixteen).

the thing is, the thing that could have made this good but didn't because instead they decided to continue making this story shitty from start to finish, is that bruce can't take it. it's good that bruce is owning what happened and bearing the responsibility and referring to it as "what i did to you" rather than passing it off in a bid to get jason to move on. and it can work that jason would try to go "it's fine it wasn't really you" about it. but you lose any good when bruce agrees with him and just goes "yeah you're right. anyway!" what's the point of bruce taking responsibility for a horrific deed in a symbol of growth (and we know it's supposed to be about growth because he prefaces it with talking about how his kids are his family and he needs to acknowledge that to them and let them know what they mean to him) if it's immediately smoothed over? it's utterly meaningless, he might as well have just told jason that he can't be blamed and jason could have just nodded and agreed. the bones were there but then ya fucked it, it literally doesn't mean anything at all. it's the narrative equivalent of going "i have a lit stick of dynamite" only for someone to immediately pour water on it. it has no impact now and it loses any catharsis for the readers, let alone deflating that emotional beat in narrative and making everything just seem stupid. even if jason attempts forgiveness, it doesn't work if bruce accepts it. he needed to say that even if jason is trying to absolve him, he still did it, he still needs to own up to it, jason is still entitled to whatever feelings about it, and he still needs to fix it along with actively working for a redemption and acknowledging his responsibility in that regard. not just go "yeah you're right it's in the past hakuna matata never gonna blame myself for my own shortcomings ever again" and promptly move on to more bullshit.

and like, you're nerfing your own ability to write good stories in the future! for one, it's good if bruce grows from this whole debacle, and does consistently put effort for future issues into not just reminding himself he needs to acknowledge his family, but that he can't take the easy way out and he needs to own up to things even when they were done when he wasn't totally himself. for two, you could have a story where bruce doesn't just have to atone, he has to actually fix his mistake. jason's got this chip in him, bruce has acknowledged that this is something HE did and needs to take responsibility for, have him be the one to fix it! have him be the one to try and find a solution, a way to undo it or nerf it or get it out. have him work to fix this issue that he caused, have him be the one to attempt to mend it and do right by someone he did wrong.

not to mention, it can work from a narrative perspective. batman is a detective, have the search for a cure/fix/whatever be a detective story. false leads, dead ends, red herrings, clues that need to be uncovered, new twists and turns. and for another thing, it works to have bruce try to right a wrong he did to jason specifically. bruce's big failure, in his mind, his greatest unforgivable sin, is that he did not save jason. that jason needed his help and bruce failed him, bruce wasn't there. so it makes sense that, when given the opportunity to make up for that in a way, to be there when he's needed, to help him when he needs it, to essentially make it in time in a way he couldn't on the day jason died, of course he'd throw himself into it with 110%. of course he'd decide that, this time, he won't fail. jason is hurting and in need of help because of him but this time it won't end in the worst way imaginable. this time, bruce is gonna fix it. it would make for great storytelling, and good character moments for bruce AS a character.

but i never get the things i want so instead i got some decent legs to build on that were immediately hacked out from under me in the same fucking panel and the chip thing is likely gonna be solved off-page without any real introspection into bruce doing this really horrible thing to jason or growing from his fuckups or growing in his relationship with jason or jason dealing with this and the two of them actually putting in some work to come back together strong than ever and build a new, better baseline as bruce accepts accountability and jason offers forgiveness once it's earned, for once in his life. and this entire plotline will literally never be brought up again except to explain why tim has a clone-damian suit that looks ugly as shit.

#personal #dc comics #batman #jason todd #bruce wayne #ok NOW i'm done now i swear i'm done i'm done now #gonna go rewatch the episodes of MAWS with cunty slade wilson #to remind myself where my current allegiances lie #(ie with cunty slade wilson from MAWS because it's beautiful and it makes me feel better)#(which lord knows i need after this)

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newbtheveryawesomeandkindanewby · 14 hours

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As I’m sure you know, Hazbin Hotel’s central character is the princess of Hell, Charlie Morningstar. A lot of people have said a lot of things about her, but I’m here to touch on a subject that doesn’t get brought up much: her title.

Part 1: What does “Princess of Hell” really mean?

When most people think of princesses, they tend to imagine Disney ones. Fancy dresses, animal sidekicks, singing a lot, all that jazz. Charlie tends to engage in musical numbers, and she does have a few marketable pets, but her wardrobe is severely lacking. Clothes are an excellent way to signify a character’s job and status. If you put a character in a big sparkly dress, everybody looking at them will go “yep, that’s a princess.” So far, Charlie’s never worn one of those. Her main outfit is the suit-bow tie combo that Medrano just loves, making her feel like every other demon in the crowd.

Okay, maybe Earth and Hell are different in this regard. (Heh, that’d be a first.) Maybe high-status demons don’t wear fancy clothes! Except we’re forgetting one detail: the Goetias. They also use titles like “prince” and stuff, and they’re always dressed to impress! The one exception to this is Octavia, but that’s most likely because of her teenage angst, a trait Charlie doesn’t share.

While we’re talking about the Goetias, there’s another thing worth bringing up. As previously stated, they tend to use royal titles. Stolas is a prince, and he’s supposedly one of the less important ones! Stella’s a royal of some flavor, and that might not have even been through marriage! Compounding on this, the Deadly Sins are all stated to be the king/queen of their respective sin! Or have we forgotten Miss Queen Bee’s antics? With all these royals running around kissing and/or shooting each other, Charlie is once again lost in a crowd of standard Tumblrized monsters.

So maybe her royal title isn’t the important part. Maybe what really matters is that she’s Lucifer’s kid. Makes sense, right? Well, no. The purpose of an heir is to take control of their parental figure’s assets (Hell, in our case) after said parental figure kicks the bucket. This doesn’t work here, since Lucifer’s immortal! He sure ain’t goin’ anywhere! Historically, princesses were mostly just used as bargaining chips to marry off to other kingdoms in exchange for stuff. That really doesn’t work here, because in this show there are no other kingdoms! You really think the ruling powers in Heaven are gonna want their kids marrying some demon?

So now that we’ve established that the title ‘Princess of Hell’ is virtually meaningless, we reach my second point: why even have it?

Part 2: Why even have it?

As any good English teacher will tell you, everything within a story was done for a reason. Yet, Charlie being a princess serves no narrative purpose. She never uses her title to get what she wants, and everyone around her treats her exactly the same way they’d treat any other demon. You could say it was to introduce Lucifer more organically into the story, but there’s other ways to do that.

One of the many, many aspects of storytelling that Medrano struggles with is the act of killing your darlings. What that means is, if something in your story isn’t doing much and thus has no reason to exist, get rid of it, no matter how much you like it. Viv’s inability to do this is the reason everything she writes has so damn many characters, and by extension why almost none of them are remotely interesting. A character being the Devil’s daughter sounds interesting, but if the writers can’t make it interesting, they shouldn’t do it.

So, why did Viv make Charlie a princess? Here’s my theory; writers want their main characters to be relatable to general audiences, and Viv must’ve forgotten that general audiences aren’t composed of upper-class white women whose every need and want is supplied by their affluent parents. To the rest of us, such a character risks invoking that very worst of writing tropes. I won’t type it right here, but it has seven letters and sounds like hairy stew.

#anti vivziepop #hazbin hotel critical #anti hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel criticism #anti charlie morningstar

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 8 months

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shit... now that i wear earrings im gonna have to whip up an earring rack to hang them all in plain sight, lest i forget they exist...

#im Thinking! buncha granny squares crocheted together?#or perhaps... some sort of rug thing...#OHHHH RICE STITCH MAYHAPS!#i could combine the rice stitch idea with the squares #rice stitch squares slapped together...#or maybe ill try a New stitch #maybe....#i have a nice skein of ombre brown yarn i haven't touched yet...#OH OH OH I COULD COMBINE ALL THREE #granny squares! rice stitch squares! Who Knows squares!#that could create a fun Texture. a Look #absolutely unprompted #fuckkkkk i love crochet its so neat i can make my own stuff!!!!#i need a jewelry rack? i can make it!#i want some cozy elbow-length hand warmers? made em! making more!#coasters? abound! blanket? you got it! tiny whale? plenty! cat toys? easy!#saves money and Increases Quality of Life!#i can surround myself with fun handmade things of my own creation #Useful things! Meaningless things as well!#my pig beanie baby has a Sweater now if you hadnt heard! i made it! its ugly. i love it!

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uncanny-tranny · 2 years

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Your life isn't a to-do list. You're allowed to exist, to take life as slow as you'd like. The dreams you have won't suddenly disappear. It's okay to stop and smell the roses, or to engage with "childish" things, or to recover, or do what you need to.

#positivity #encouraging words #life doesn't need to be a speedrun or a 100% run #sometimes it feels like i'm wasting my life but... who gets to tell me what is wasteful? i'm surviving out here and that's okay #and it's okay if you're also somebody who people think is 'wasting your life'#that's such a meaningless and frankly a very cruel thing to say to a person #because you'll see people call somebody's life wasteful because they're simply coping with disability/mental illness/grief/ect #it's a meaningless saying to tell somebody how YOU think they're wasting life. your life isn't a waste point-blank #we ought to be kinder to ourselves for choosing what we want/need out of our lives rather than placating to what is imposed on us...#...or the expectations we impose on ourselves #be kinder to yourself whenever you can. it's hard as hell but please choose kindness toward yourself #just something i thought about and felt like it was impirtant to me #i couldn't complete high school 'on time' because of covid and because i was in crisis. i felt so much shame about that. i felt stupid...#...i felt unworthy. but who decided that i am those things? the crisis i was in could have killed me. i couldn't deal with school then...#...it humbled me because i had to learn that i am not immune to needing to be kind to myself. i am human - i'm not a mindless drone...#...you aren't a mindless drone either. you are an individual. you deserve to feel safe. you deserve understanding and compassion...#...but not ONLY from others. you deserve it from yourself as well

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vigilskeep · 8 months

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i finally find a good time to make an asexual character and i use every colour for her colour scheme except the ace flag colour scheme what the fuck

#SIGH i suppose itll make it obvious when i do use those colours for #*for her #this is a meaningless post i was just a big fan of purple when i was younger #and when i came to the conclusion i was not actually asexual i was SO irritated #specifically because of the colour thing.#ah well. maybe with the reaverisms we can bring some red into those blues and greens and see what happens #i studied art until i was 16 for that kind of quality thinking #colour wheels innit #whyd i say that #this is all the cold talking.

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scattered-winter · 7 months

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i want sooooo badly to lash out and pull away from everyone but the god damn people pleaser in me .

#sorry to make two personal posts in as many hours but man .#i dont want to go to the family gathering. i dont want to talk to people. i dont want to celebrate holidays.#i dont want to do ANY of this i want to be left alone. smfhhhhhhhhhhhh.#(all this is in context with irl family btw. friends in phone ilysm this doesnt apply to u <3)#like i get that we're all grieving together or whatever. but i want to stop being civil about it.#everyone in my family is very religious and theyre using god and church to cope with this. as people do.#but im NOT religious im in fact the only one in the entire family who's NOT religious and i am not comforted by any of that.#''we need to be grateful for this trial that jesus has given us'' ok well what if i set something on fire.#i just. want to fight someone. bloody fists blood in my mouth kinda fight.#none of this ''good christian sadness'' shit i want to fucking fight someone. biting and clawing like a wild animal because i feel like one #et cetera.#this is senseless and meaningless don't mind me i just donnnnt wanna go to the family gatherings <//3 #its like. everyone's SO determined to pretend like everything's fine and normal. carrying on with things like every other year.#and i get that theyre trying to deal with this shit but things are NOT normal. they will in fact never again be normal.#idk. i need to punch someone. i need someone to punch me. and then i need to be alone by myself for 300 years.#winter speaks #personal

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celecaster · 2 months

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I sort of thought after my last attempt three months ago that I should try harder to stay alive but I wasn't really convinced of it. I did so begrudgingly out of principle and concern. I spend nearly every moment being passively suicidal, where I think about suicide but don't try it, and every moment I'm not passively suicidal I'm actively suicidal. My resentment is insurmountable and my displeasure inarticulate. I ran away from my first family to support the second family that was forced upon me to begin with and those people hated me too and I didn't have a single relationship outside of my parents, my ex-spouse and their children because they never wanted me to and now that my parents are dead, my ex is with someone else, the child I had custody of is dead and the living ones both detest me I have no idea what to even do. I'm not even exaggerating to say I only stay alive for my loose set of acquaintances and the passive, occasional socialisation I get from being online/in public because there really is nothing and nobody else and I realise from my own intolerable personality I can't even exist as an anonymous person on the Internet without the pressing feeling that everyone only barely tolerates me because it's bad form to be mean to the sick and insane even though it's obvious the polite find me intolerable too! Whatever!

Maybe if it was possible for me to hate either of my families I could actually feel better but I don't, I can't get myself to be angry at them or to blame them for anything even though I know I should, I have this sense of aggression that gets directed towards myself not because I even believe I 'deserve' it but because there's no other acceptable target. Dying's really difficult but at least it isn't living.

I really am just going to kill myself, aren't I? So much energy wasted forestalling in hopes of a different outcome that was never going to be possible, since the day I was born I always knew it would end this way so now I'm just angry at myself for dragging me out. I have not had a single day of genuine contentment in my life because I spent every fucking day toiling for people who would never stop reminding me how awful and disgusting it is to be around me and the days I'm not with them I'm just alone and it's such a waste of goddamn time!

I thought that I could tolerate how awful everyone around me was as long as I had myself and I lost every single thing I valued to all the illnesses, I'm constantly tired over doing nothing, I can't do my research because I can barely think, I can't write or converse with others because everything I say is incoherent, I can't even read the things I wrote myself in the past because I have neither the memory nor cognition to understand them anymore! I can neither be useful to society or valuable to anybody so why the hell am I staying alive if I'm not even having fun!

#That godawful feeling of silent non-resistance that precipitates all my suicide attempts is back #Whatever what difference does it make #Whether I succeed or fail in killing myself not a single soul is affected #I may as well already be dead with how fucking meaningless it is for me to exist #Not a single thing I do affects the world #Not a single thing I do does ANYTHING!#NOTHING THAT I DO HAS AN EFFECT ON ANYONE OR ANYTHING!#I HAVE NEVER HELPED ANYBODY I HAVE NEVER BEEN USEFUL I HAVE NEVER NOT BEEN A BURDEN SO I DON'T EVEN EXIST!#KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF

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thedevotionaltour · 2 months

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marvel should hire me to write bc i'd pull the funniest thing on earth where i am wiping his catholic slate CLEAN and i would explcitily have him go ehhhh i've never really been religious me and my dad went some easters and christmases and attended a few services outside of that but that stopped by the time i was around 10 and my dad just kinda gave up on it because he didn't particularly want to go by that point either. and even then we hadn't gone every year for easter and christmas in that time frame. and then we never bring that shit up again in the story. he is only catholic in the sense he went a few times and it's the only church experience he knew and his dad probably grew up going to church more in his youth being dragged in by his family but he never felt particularly compelled to go back to it once he moved out on his own. catholic only in the fact that his family was irish catholic but his dad is a lapsed catholic who did not give a fuuuuuck

#based off my own father's filipino catholic experiences. and my own religious experiences in general. bc my mom's protestant but still didnt #raise me religiously. i've been to church a handful of times and it was never bad but it never ever stuck. i just kinda remember some stuff #and what i do know it's more from the general cultural osmosis of american christianity than anything #plus i grew up in a known for its religiosity suburb. but again. that still didnt really rub off on me.#in my mind jack is a guy who when entering a church will still dip his fingers in the holy water and cross with it #and matt watches and maybe mimics but he doesnt really get it still bc their service attendance has been so extremely infrequent.#so i imagine it's far more like that for matt than the insane bs they've been pullin the last few years. given the you know.#50 somethings years of established only really culturally casually catholic matt. bc well. why wouldnt he be new york irish catholic.#i imagine is the thought process. but i will never be a fan of how it's a big deal now. bc it just never has been. ever #and that's not to say a character cannot become religious or be religious or have it become more of a thing in their life!#very much it can be done. but i think it's been done piss poor. from all i've seen and what i've read of recent stuff. so it's just bad.#like it isnt done in a meaningfully way or sensical to my understanding. it's like. pure show pandering fanon appeal.#so it's utterly meaningless as a whole with no point or purpose aside from it #can we go back to just using it for cool art visuals bc i think we can all appreciate a cool splash page of a church fight and stuff #but please. dont try to make it more than that if you arent going to do it well #SORRY I KNOW EVERYONE ON PLANET DD HAS MADE THIS POST BUT I REMEMBER AND GET SOOOOO IRRITATED!!!!! IT'S SO STUPID POINTLESS DUMB I HATE ITT #static.soundz

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quietzones · 10 months

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beezebelb and gabriel going off to alpha centuri because crowley said they should is so funny. like you just gave the honeymoon plans you booked years in advance to your ex boss and your partners weird colleague that you hate. and you did this even before your own proposal flopped

#like did you let them have it because you want to stay on earth? with aziraphale? running away no longer the ideal?#you two can have it we’ll find someplace else to settle #a place where aziraphale can keep the bookshop and the food and the humans he likes and you can keep the car and be with him #and perhaps one day you’ll drive to the countryside and find yourselves a cottage #really hasnt it always been about preserving what aziraphale loves?#after all you always have what you love so long as you’re with him #doesnt really matter to you what happens to the earth. just that you can stay as you are and for aziraphale to keep the things he loves #and after everything you’ve done to preserve these things. the bookshop. the earth and its people. his goodness and morality.#out of love and devotion to your one person. to keep what you two have for eternity. for aziraphale never to be unhappy or without you #as you cannot be without him #when he says nothing lasts forever it all becomes meaningless doesn’t it?#these acts unappreciated. everything you’ve built together torn down. the struggle to keep such a relationship alive become futile #subverting war between your opposing kinds and thwarting the apocalypse so you two can stay together and not be parted?#well actually all you've done to protect the earth and what it represents. to reject the woes of heaven/hell. its all been for naught.#all you’ve done for love didn’t matter. didn’t make a difference.#even the bookshop will cease. something you thought would keep aziraphale there — with you — when you alone aren't enough to make him stay.#what was once ‘my own side’ had become ‘our side’ and now it’s just you once more #what is left for just you when you’ve built everything around being an ‘us’. always just ‘us’#even if earth burned and everything aziraphale loved went to waste - there could still be 'us'#off to alpha centuri where you’d only have eachother #that would be enough for you wouldn’t it?#even though it wouldn’t last #you both hold onto naive hopes #running away together would solve everything. one kiss would solve everything #so you must’ve been saying to yourself: whats the point of saving whats doomed to fail?#whats the point of loving when nothing lasts forever #gomens #qzth

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notasapleasure · 7 months

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A tale of two Georgias

Note: I wouldn't normally share subscriber-exclusive content from this news site, but I think Shota Kincha's opinions are too important to hide away in an exclusive email this time. If you're so minded, please consider supporting open journalism in the Caucasus anyway and sending some money OCMedia's way.

Highlighting is my own. Of course I support Georgia joining the EU, but absolutely not under conditions that ignore the recent rolling back of democratic freedoms.

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By Shota Kincha, for OC Media.

On Wednesday, Georgians celebrated a long-awaited recommendation from the European Commission for their nation’s candidacy for EU membership, leaving the country’s candidacy pending just final approval from the heads of EU member states in mid-December. But the Commission’s assessment of the government’s ‘progress’ seemed to be based on wishful thinking, rather than its actions.

On denying Georgia the status last year, the European Commission outlined 12 ‘priorities’ Georgia would need to address for the decision to be reconsidered — preconditions that largely reflected the spirit of the April 2021 agreement brokered by European Council President Charles Michel between the government and opposition groups.

When the unforeseen possibility for Georgia to formally apply for membership presented itself in early 2022, Georgia’s leadership had already failed on some of the key components of the previous year’s accord.

Instead of addressing the ‘perception of politicised justice,’ an apparent euphemism for the imprisonment of opposition leaders, most notably Nika Melia in early 2021, the Georgian court imprisoned another prominent government critic, Nika Gvaramia, only five weeks before the European Commission was due to assess Georgia’s readiness for EU membership candidacy.

Instead of the ambitious judicial reform promised in the 2021 Michel deal and mentioned in the EU’s ‘12 priorities’ last year, the ruling Georgian Dream party has continued to shield corrupt judicial officials with a stranglehold on Georgian courts, resulting in more politicised administrative fines and criminal cases against civil activists, political leaders, media managers, or youth with ‘confused orientation’ who risked their freedom to defend Georgia’s pro-Western choice on the streets.

In the run-up to the European Commission’s latest decision on Georgia, the government and security services run by oligarch Bidzina Ivanishvili’s goons artificially created an anti-Western parliamentary group, gifted them private channel PosTV, and made violent extremist pro-Russian Alt Info immune to obstruction or challenge.

If the last five years under Georgian Dream rule had been a steady decline in democratic freedoms, the government’s actions in the months since it applied to join the European Union — including their recent initiatives to clamp down on Georgia’s civil society and constrain protest — far surpassed any and all negative predictions.

But listening to President of the European Commission Ursula von der Leyen, one could have assumed she was discussing an entirely different country.

Despite Georgia’s government persecuting free media, parroting Russian propaganda against the West, refusing to undertake institutional reforms in a way that included other groups and stakeholders, and satisfying only three of the twelve conditions set last year, the European Commission complimented them with no substantial criticism.

I do not believe the EU should approve Georgian membership candidacy later this year, as the move looks set to validate and entrench the government’s precipitous lurch towards authoritarianism.

The European Commission’s approach may be based on the belief that denying Georgia candidate status could lead to Georgians becoming disillusioned with the EU and the West. But Georgians have been staunchly pro-Western for decades, perhaps even centuries.

The real danger to Georgians’ trust in the West comes from the West’s indifference to anti-democratic moves by Georgia’s government, which, if left unchecked, will continue to use state institutions to slowly but steadily shift popular mood and policies towards Russia.

Even were we to allow that recommending EU candidacy status was a justified decision in Georgia’s best interests, doing so did not obligate the institution’s leaders to legitimise the country’s government in the way they did.

Listening to the widely televised announcement by the European Commission on Wednesday, Georgians could reasonably have concluded that democratic backsliding, state capture by big capital, and a politicised judiciary are consistent with Georgia’s pro-Western aspirations, or that related warnings from local activists and media have been baseless or overblown.

The announcement could also have created the impression that the ruling party has been delivering on reforms demanded by the EU, a powerful notion less than a year before the country’s next general elections.

The truth is, however, that in inviting Georgia to join the club while neglecting to call out the government’s shortcomings, the EU is playing a dangerous game, and one it has played before. The EU does not want another Orban, and the South Caucasus definitely does not need another Aliyev.

I may be wrong: perhaps granting Georgia candidate status will still be a wise choice on the EU’s part. But even in its recommendation, the European Commission could have sent a clear message that business as usual would no longer be tolerated.

What Georgia’s leadership heard instead will become abundantly clear in the coming months.

#ქართველები მიყვარხართ - ძალიან ძალიან მიყვარხართ. მაგრამ ეს არ არის დრო.#ამ მეთოდში ევროპული კავშირი ვერ გეხმარება ქართულ ოცნებსთან.#ეს იქნებოდეს ჯილდო უსამართლობისთვის #i'm seeing so many celebrations and it fucking breaks my heart #membership. will. not. fix. you.#you have to start that yourselves!#and the eu isn't perfect it needs to take a stricter line with hungary and orban.#they got lucky with poland voting their way out of a hole but that won't happen in hungary so easily -#and if they act like georgian dream have done enough when they have done worse than nothing they will be in a very good position next ge #and don't @ me for saying you need to start the work yourselves.#i have a friend who used to work in politics there and tried to change the election culture #he couldn't even get people to agree to a covenant saying they would refrain from using misgynistic language in campaign season #because people thought it was meaningless and unimportant #well sometimes you have to fucking start somewhere or you get scenes like the misogynistic language used in georgian parliament recently #i know i'm just ranting from very far away and can't possibly understand it all #i'd hoped to visit for the first time last month. but the university called off the planned research trip #because of concerns about the government's repressive legislation and actions #and if the eu grants candidate status for you without demanding actual concrete change then that's just going to carry on worse than ever.#i'm sorry i want to see you join. i believe the eu needs change from the inside too.#but they aren't your saviours riding in to fix things if they don't hold GD accountable #georgia #it's been a depressing few years to be a student of georgian i can't fucking imagine how much more depressing it's been to be there #but you have campaigners who give me hope still.#it's just that this decision by the eu would not give me hope for your future sorry #საქართველო #caucasus #oc media #shota kincha #eu politics

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