#anti-transmasculinity
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something i rarely see addressed on here in discussions of transmasculine bathroom issues is the difference between men's and women's rooms, and the way it excludes transmascs with vulvas.
I am a trans man pre-surgery of any kind. ideally i would like meta with UL, but for euphoria reasons primarily- STPs are expensive and a hassle, so i have no issue sitting to pee. i am 11 months on T and do not pass. using the women's room bothers me, but i live in the southern US so it's safer. i have no issue dealing with it to quickly piss and leave. what i do have an issue with, is when someplace claims to be trans inclusive, but in practice, is not.
i had a pretty awful night. my boyfriend and i had been planning to try out a local goth nightclub for weeks, and we finally got the chance to go. when walking in, there was a sign on the door that said "no racism, no homophobia, no transphobia..." etc. i was excited, thinking that i may actually be able to use the men's restroom for once! a few drinks in and the urge hit- i was feeling anxious, so i asked a staff member if it would be safe for me to use the men's room. "yes of course, we are very inclusive, there are plenty of trans people here." in i went and....
5 urinals, and one single stall- which was out of order.
i turned around and used the women's room. i had no choice. of course, there were 6 stalls in there.
this is not the first time i have experienced issues with men's rooms having a single stall- at a gay strip club, i ran into a similar problem, where the single stall in the men's room was not out of order, but instead, had a line of 20+ people. i, and a few other guys, opted to use the women's room instead of waiting (clearly this design flaw hurts cisgender men as well!)
men's rooms being built only with people with penises in mind, and often all but excluding anyone who needs a stall, is an issue that needs to be addressed far more often.
edit: ive seen a few people in the notes adding their own experiences outside of transmasculinity, saying that they don't want to derail- i want to make clear that nobody is derailing. this issue absolutely intersects with transmisogyny, ableism, and general androphobia (which i define as the way patriarchal expectations hurt all men, not any group systemically oppressing men.) keep adding on your own experiences. this issue affects everyone who has ever needed to use the men's bathroom.
#trip talks#transandrophobia#transmisandry#transphobia#anti-transmasculinity#im sure this is also an issue for anyone with mobility issues#or digestive disorders like crohns/IBS#the night sucked for other reasons but this was what made me want to leave.
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casually omitting the fact that the men and straight people you are being asked to care about are trans because you know it will make you sound like an asshole if you outright say "i don't care about trans men or straight trans people"
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#trans men are not treated like cis men *or* cis women#they are treated as trans men#repost of someone else’s content#reddit repost#trans#transgender#trans man#transmasc#transmasculine#transandrophobia#transmisandry#anti-transmasculinity
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Considering that there’s another post going around that lands on this conclusion, I think it deserves its own succinct post:
When transmascs share instances of positivity to remind each other that the way we are treated isn’t all bad, it’s then used as proof of the whole of transmasc experiences being this way, and that transmascs are not oppressed as a whole.
When transmascs share instances of harm done to transmascs to raise awareness that transmascs are harmed directly within our societies, it’s used as proof that we are taking up too much room in conversations because the harm we face “isn’t bad enough”.
When transmascs share instances of outright murder of members of our community to show that no, transmasc issues are not somehow “lesser” because “we aren’t dying” because we are dying, it’s used as proof that we are trauma dumping and trying to make other people feel sorry for us—look at these AFABs being whiny and hysterical and trying to portray themselves as victims. Or that it isn’t specific enough to us so we should shut up and let other people speak for us.
Transmascs cannot speak about our experiences without being touted as an example of why transmascs as a whole should shut up.
This is erasure.
#my post#noooo I didn’t just make this post because I don’t want to interact with that other post because of personal hangups that no one else#should have about the post. truly it’s entirely a Me and My Personal Situation thing#the post is fine#I just was a little frustrated about how much I wanted to reblog and also like#not interact with it at all at the same time#so I made this post#shhhhh#transandrophobia#transmisandry#anti-transmasculinity#erasure through silencing
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Hi! I wrote a medium article!
If you've been at all interested in what I've been posting about historical sex work and FTM crossdressing, that's what this is about. I go over three examples of this in ancient Greece, Renaissance Venice, and 19th-20th-century San Francisco, and talk a bit about my thoughts on how these stories tie in to transmasculine erasure (& specifically the erasure of gay transmasculinity).
#m.#transmasc history#gay transmasc history#transmasculinity#anti-transmasculinity#transandrophobia#theory#whorephobia#sinophobia#racism#queer history#trans history
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One manifestation of anti-transmasculinity I see again and again, primarily in discussions about the existence/denial of anti-transmasculinity is the treatment of transmascs in the same way cis men treat feminists as hysterical women and rad/feminists treat men as ignorant beasts. Of course these really just echo each other in that the other is deemed lesser but it's really in the wording.
You do not, can not ever understand misogyny, you are just ignorant sluts vieing for attention, what happened to you wasn't that bad, you're exaggerating, it was just a joke, it doesn't matter, you deserved it, you're being dramatic, who cares, who cares, who cares. Just shut up already.
#transandrophobia#transphobia#anti-transmasculinity#almost all of these examples have double meanings#its a joke echoes the obvious but it also echoes about rape jokes irt men such as the classic prison soap#or how the rape of men in general is treated as a joke/deserved#of course r/a/d feminism is fucking horribly pervasive throughout tumblr/the queer community its. exhausting#it makes me just want to stop and never talk to other queer folks again how did it get like this?#tldr stop and question why you think someones opinion *of their own experiences* are worth less than your opinion
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Everytime someone uses the phrase “men” to mean “cis men” I feel as though I am not really a man. That the label of man is only for those with the utmost privilege.
Trans men do not have systemic power over cis women, at large trans people of all types are more at risk of violence if gender is the only different factor.
#transgender#lgbtq+#trans#lgbt#transmasc#trans men#ftm#lgbtqia#lgbtq#transandrophobia#trans guy#transmisandry#anti-transmasculinity
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I will say this once because I'm tired of seeing stupid discourse: anti-transmasculinity is not about being treated bad because we clock as men, it's about being treated as stupid little girls because transphobes think we've been tricked into this.
It's kind of the opposite of transmisogyny- instead of fear and revulsion, it's constant condescension, the implications that we've been whisked away from femininity by scary bad guys, that we're going to cause 'irreparable damage' because we don't know what's best for ourselves, somehow. People fearmonger a lot about the "ugliness" of transfem people, but for transmasc people that 'ugliness' is used as a warning- you'll look like THIS! You'll go BALD! Your top surgery scars will leave you MUTILATED! A lot of aesthetic concerns. Worry about our 'beauty'. Because it comes from that same stupid reactionary 'we gotta SAVE the WOMEN' shit, but this time they have to save them from getting 'stolen away', as if we're being seduced or pressured into this. As if we can't make our own decisions.
For TERFS specifically, they're losing one of their own. We're 'gender traitors', willingly aligning ourselves with the half of the population they consider unilaterally dangerous and evil.
We aren't REALLY trans, we just want the benefits that men get. You don't actually want to transition, you're just trying to avoid misogyny.
You aren't actually a man, you're just a self-loathing lesbian.
Why can't you just be a butch girl? Why can't you just be a tomboy?
Why can't you just be something that I don't think is icky?
Anyway. Like all things, it boils down to misogyny. Women stupid and gentle, dont know what best for them, evil men trick into taking man juice, must save because lady stupid and dont know what best for them (having babies and being Feminine).
Theres like. Obviously more to this but I'm just a Transmasc Rando explaining this from my perspective, and I'm not the best with words. Anyone is free to hop in and add on to this
#long post#transphobia#spitblaze says things#anti-transmasculinity#several disclaimers#i do not think misandry is real.#i think stigmatization of masculinity is real with a lot of women and terfs specifically#i think a lot of people whether they know it or not consider men to be inherently 'bad'#i think men are very often treated as emotionless and 'tough' by default which causes a lot of issues#but thats not anywhere near the level of misogyny. its a separate issue and not related#im not trying to say that trans men somehow have it 'worse' than trans women?? what would thay even accomplish. this isnt a pissing contest#and even if it was I'd lose#and my wording isnt the best bc this is a Midnight Rant and not a scholarly article#if you want to pick a fight about semantics consider that theres a good chance that i genuinely didnt realize what i said#anyway uh. yeah. this discourse is dumb i cant belive its happening#and i especially cant belive how bad people are at articulating the actual point of the matter#(not that im one to talk lmao)#doin numbers
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The "lost lesbian" narrative matters and is anti-transmasculine because it necessarily argues that lesbians are inherently more valuable than transmascs.
It also argues that the living, breathing human beings who are exercising their bodily autonomy by transitioning are "lost".
The "betraying womanhood" narrative necessarily argues that transmascs are inferior to cis women, period.
These are proofs that 1) transmascs experience more gender based discrimination than cis women and 2) transmascs experience gender discrimination specifically directed towards their masculinity.
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Love this new wave of transandrophobia denying that instead of outright hostility, it’s people telling us how we’re incapable of analyzing our own oppression correctly and we need to step aside so they can do it for us.
#transandrophobia#anti-transmasculinity#randomly came back to say this#all this over a word describing transmasculine specific oppression#incredible#I’ve forgotten
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So here's the thing:
Transmacs do not need fucking permission from non-transmascs to coin a word.
This is not a committee decision with the people who hate us.
It doesn't actually matter what word we use because the people who hate us don't believe we're oppressed in the first place and therefore don't "deserve" a word in the first place.
Fuck you.
I'm sticking with transandrophobia. But if I see someone using transmisandry, that's ok too. So is anti-transmasculism. And transmascphobia. THEY'RE ALL FINE. They've been fine the whole time.
Don't let people who hate you decide the language you use, because they'd prefer you use NO words.
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Actually I think we should talk about how incredibly fucked up it is for sapphic women to say shit like "I'm no better than a straight man 😔" when attracted to a woman in a way that isn't 100% pure and wholesome, or act like men's attraction to women is inherently dirty, predatory, or objectifying.
#like i mostly get impacted from this as a straight trans man#and the way people- even my friends- have acted like my attraction to women is now morally worse since i came out as trans#but this also affects like. bi/mspec men? it's shitty to shame them for their attraction to women!#and even cishet men. acting like objectification or predatory behavior is just inherent to male attraction to women#let's shitty men off the hook because 'they can't help it' or whatever#or victim blames anyone abused by a cishet man because 'what did you expect from being in a relationship with him'#yeah so like. sapphics stop saying this challenge#transhet#anti-transmasculinity#again i'm tagging because that's my personal experience with that sentiment but it has a ton of other issues too#antimasculism
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I think part of the backlash on the transandrophobia discussion, and also just transmascs existing in the queer community, is even if, "it's a TE/RF belief to conceptualize trans men as gender traitors" is generally understood as a TE/RF thing, so of course EYE don't believe it- People still really just consider us gender traitors to cis women on a deep deep level, and have done no work to combat that internal belief. Like, we're either just basically cis women (friends), and when we're too man-like or they don't like us then we're basically just cis men (men 🤮 and traitors, I should have known all along, they're MEN after all). This is honestly one of the many ways I feel that people who genuinely hate men, but consider themselves trans allies, tend to have contradicting beliefs. Beliefs that are going to spill into transphobia no matter what.
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People really need to start getting their transmasc centred activism from transmascs, instead of going, “okay I’ve learned about transfem experiences, so obviously I know about transmasc experiences; they’re just the opposite!”
#my post#transandrophobia#transmisandry#anti-transmasculinity#people will truly do the bare minimum#we’ve said that trans women and fems are important so some people did a bit of learning there#and then just stopped#(of course not to say that trans women/fems are universally accepted in queer spaces)#(just with the recent push for more trans advocacy there was very much a centring of trans women/fems)#(and it really did just kinda… stop there)
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there's a rich analytical spring to tap in the way trans men have to negotiate life experiences typically seen as "women's experiences" while also needing to differentiate themselves from (cis) women & identify as men.
so often the way people try to fix the contradiction between identification with manhood & experiences with misogyny by either insisting trans men are women (& erasing how their manhood shapes the misogyny they experience) OR insisting that they are men who have essentially borrowed women's experiences, which are fundamentally foreign to them as men. the former generally assumes that all trans men exist in a post-transition state of (white) cis-passing never-outed gender conforming heterosexuality, where you almost frame their experiences with misogyny as having happened to an entirely different person; or by framing the trans man as essentially a cis man who ended up within the body of a completely separate woman, who was the true victim of the misogyny he experienced. in general trying to soothe the discomfort that transmasculinity causes by dissociating trans men from themselves & their bodies & what they have experienced, keeping the typical cis man/cis woman binary of gender experiences that cisfeminism is built on intact.
which is why the conversation around anti-transmasculinity is so important because it's trans men rejecting either being indistinguishable from cis women, or having to dissociate their manhood from the misogyny we experience. choosing instead to say that trans men are not being targeted by misogyny on accident, we are not somehow appropriating women's struggles for ourselves, and in fact being men is a fundamental part of why we are oppressed by misogyny.
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Reductress is just spreading terf rhetoric now
The "joke" is that nonbinary people are somehow escaping from violence by being trans that we can opt out of fearing violence and don't fear violence when walking at night....
Like just yuck as a transmasc nonbinary survivor whose actually aware of the stats of violence against nonbinary people this just disgusts me...
Also I'm betting they have talked to zero Black trans enbies or men or women of colour about how being seen as "scary" puts them in danger from racist white people & or they're just assuming all enbies are white idk it's disgusting... There's just so many layers to the bigotry and white fauxminism of this "joke"
They've previously made posts like this so idk if they've got terfs on staff who keep trying to slip this in to pipeline people or people who think certain trans people they dislike facing violence including sexual violence is funny and that those trans survivors are lying and shouldn't be beleived.
They're priming their audience to disbelieve and mock nonbinary trans survivors. They're literally pushing the "people transition to escape/opt out of patriarchal violence like a fun game" terf talking point which isn't reflected in the stats of violence against trans people who face higher rates of physical sexual and domestic violence than cis people
Just "it's a coin toss!"
As a survivor fuck you
Like the comments section is full of transphobia and people going "har har they think they're in danger they're delusional " or spouting transphobic BS and a trans man whose talking about how he fears violence walking at night being called 'female' and misgendered like well done you've curated a comment section full of transphobes and people who think trans people aren't who we say we are fucking yikes
None of the transphobic comments have been deleted reductress seems happy to leave up comments calling trans men "female" and saying that trans people are a danger to children
#Reductress#Exorsexism#Rape culture#transandrophobia#Terf rhetoric#Erasing tpoc#When your “joke” is “haha enbies don't face violence people think you're men and trans men don't face violence” in current year just wtaf#Did a nonbinary person reject one of the writers or something there seems to be this persistent creepy obsession with mocking and belittlin#It really sounds like the “all my exgfs are crazy” shit but projected onto enbies like who hurt you and why are you hurting survivors?#Like they already tried a similarly transphobic joke and it went over just as badly then why do they keep trying to push this maga shit#Enbyphobia#Anti-Transmasculinity#This is what violent transphobes who harass assault & kill us WANT you to think when we try to talk about fearing for our safety#Why are you perpetuating this transphobic nonsense#Also I wonder if the stock model whose image they used knows its being used to mock&erase trans survivors
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