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meowpupp · 2 months

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tw// overstim++, hybrid smut, bondage, gag, price and simon are assholrs, JUSTICE FOR JOHNNY ‼️

pup!johnny, who's been such a good boy for owner!simon recently. while pup!reader, been the complete opposite for owner!price.

you've been whining and yapping for attention constantly. you're desperate for attention and pleasure. spending most your time rutting against anything you can find. your big puppy eyes were at first endearing when you pawed at his cock, but it quickly stopped being cute.

price has had enough. you're so desperate, he can't get anything done. there's a thin line between needy and annoying, and you've definitely crossed it.

meanwhile, soap has been such a good boy. listening to each and every one of simons commands, keeping his grubby paws off his cock. he even resisted you during your weekly playdate. keeping his hands (and cock) to himself. even despite your pitiful attempts to grind on his thigh.

and so, naturally, there's an obvious conclusion here. two birds, one stone.

when simon tells soap that he's having an extra playdate with you this week, he knows something is up. it's unusual. playdates are normally a bargaining chip for good behaviour. but then again, being rewarded is something johnny never protests.

he had expected the usual, not this. as soon as he entered prices house, Simon gave him an order to follow. and so he did, only to find you bound, gagged, and desperate. all for him.

you're a sight, one that would make even the strongest man rock hard. wrists tied behind your back with pretty pink ribbon. you're dressed in white lace, the lingerie hugging each curve and roll. price had dressed you up for the pup. even going as far as gagging you, the pink dogbone shaped silicone making you drool all over the sheets.

you're already a wreck. your slick shines as it drips down your thighs. the white lace of your panties is translucent, wet fabric clinging to your prrtty cunt. the vibrator price used to torture your pretty clit tossed on the bed beside you carelessy. johnny's eyes dart all over the scene, drinking in each detail.

he can barely hold himself back, but he does. after all, he's a good boy. simons good boy. but it doesn't matter in the end. a large hand squeezes the back of his neck, simons deep voice growling in johnny ear as he speaks. "all yours, pup. show price how good you've been."

it takes him less than a second to act. johnny can't hold himself back, gipping your hips tight. you can barely take a breath as before he rups through the lace of your panties. he isn't nice like normal. instead of slowly lapping at your clit until it's swollen and desperate beneath his tounge, slowly stretching your tight cunt with his fingers- he forces his cock deep inside your swollen cunt.

he knows its mean. the way your cry and squirm beneath his tells him youve already cum multiple times. but it only makes you more fun to fuck. your greedy cunt sucks him in, a lewd squelch filling the room with each thrust.

johnny doesn't care if your sore cunt can't take it. he's not fucking you to make you feel good, this is his. his reward. his pleasure. his time to feel good.

his body is so taught and tense. each thrust is a reflection of that. his cockhead slams against your g-spot, merciless as he seeks his own pleasure. he doesn't stop, does slow. he refuses to.

even when you've cum 3 times, even when your sore, puffy cunt is stuffed full with his cum. johnny runs himself ragged. his pace frantic and feral even as you struggle. you sob and whimper into the sheets, giving price your best puppy eyes as try you beg for mercy despite the gag.

but he doesn't give it. "shhh, shh love. s'your punishment. this is what happens to horny pups like you." he growls as a big hand on the back of your head presses your face to the bed below you.

price and simon don't pay attention to you. ignoring your little squeals and yelps as johnny continues to pound into your over-sensitive cunt. they rub salt into the wound, praising the feral pup as he ruins you.

"such a good boy," "you can do better than that baby," "cmon now, harder. she's a toy johnny, use 'er."

they let johnny fuck you till he cant. your ass red and hot from his hips slamming into you, cunt puffy and swollen. johnny shoots blanks before he pulls out. he's whisked away by simon, praised by his owner till his dizzy. meanwhile, price cups your cheek, forcing your hazy eyes to meet his. "learnt your lesson? gonna be a good girl f'me now?" he smirks as you nod, not sure if you even understand what he said.

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keyotos · 10 months

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well aware, you are always mine

summary ⎯ bf headcanons w/ hsr men!!

includes ⎯ dan heng, gepard, blade, sampo, jing yuan

tana's thoughts ⎯ keyotos being active and writing?!!!?!!?!?!

dan heng

⎯ TOTAL acts of service bf. cuts fruit for you, organizes your closet with you, helps you rearrange ur bookshelf. like all of that. he is ur #1 helper in all situations and is probably the most reliable person u know. if ur ever having problems, you always call dan heng bc he always solves them for you

⎯ considerate bf. listens to all ur song recommendations and also your book recommendations. never takes your word with a grain of salt (most of the time)

⎯ not a big fan of shopping trips, but will go with you anyway. he will carry all your bags and help you pick out clothes. AND HE WILL GIVE U ACTUAL FREAKING ADVICE INSTEAD OF BEING LIKE, "it all looks good on you."

⎯ like dan heng will pull up with, "that color washes you out," or, "that does not match your color pallete at all." he's detailed wit it too?? the only reason why he knows all of this is bc he pays attention to you.

you see something you like? let's find it in that color that matches w/ ur fav pants so you can wear it all the time. don't worry, i already found it.

you look dissatisfied? dan heng thinks he knows why: you think it won't look good. oh, he was right? well, he can help you style it in a way for it to look good. you can wear that with the shirt you like so much, with some added jewelry, of course.

⎯ does not spend ANY TIME in his room (but who could rlly blame him). he's always in yours and he's lying down in your bed. he takes the phrase, "make yourself at home," to another level. but i guess he gets a pass bc you literally are his home.

⎯ he's sarcastic asl. since his guard is down with you, there's not really a need to maintain seriousness at all times. his dry and sarcastic humor really comes out when you're around him specifically. dating dan heng would make u a victim of the sassy men apocalypse.

⎯ dan heng is the type of person to stare at you lovingly (like HEART EYES are coming out) while you guys are taking a photo together. and you wouldn't even know until you saw the photo. like picture this: you are over here smiling and being cute or whateva. and then dan heng is there. he's obliviously staring at you: like how the light perfectly bounces off your face and how perfectly your eyes crinkle when you smile.

⎯ when he feels secure around you, he is the definition of lovesick. longing stares from far away (even tho ur dating)? yes. touchy (you make sure to tease him about it)? yes. buries his head in the nape of your neck? duh. like he is the whole package and he can never seem to let you go... like ever. you are constantly stuck in his head and also his body.

gepard

⎯ hilariously bad at taking pictures. like you tell him to get one angle and he gets the exact opposite angle. manages to always catch you off guard in every. single. picture. his excuse for this is, "but you look good in all of them :/"

⎯ when he gets super tired after work, sometimes when he gets home and finishes showering/etc, he just flops onto u. like. literally flops onto you. you're always shocked at first, but you move him into a position where he can comfortably sleep (and hold you) in and then you relax. he always apologizes for it later in the morning and makes sure to shower you in more affection than last night, but you always reassure him that it's fine.

it's only bc u take the time to take equally bad photos of him #payback.

⎯ you have to water his plants for him. we all saw this coming. but on the bright side, that means ur home more often!! and when you greet him on the couch after a long day... like you've never heard a deeper sigh of relief before. doesn't collapse on you like other days (thankfully). you two just spend the night eating dinner on the couch and watching reality tv. sometimes, when you fall asleep on the couch, gepard always brings a blanket from your bedroom and drapes it over you. and then he carries you into bed.

⎯weirdly good at cracking your back for you. like if he wasn't the captain of the silvermane guards, he could very well be a freaking chiropractor. like he knows all the right joints to pop, all the right places to put his hands, and all the right places to press down. and it feels SO GOOD. you've never asked him about it.

⎯ gets you really cute and considerate gifts since he isn't around a lot. sometimes gets lynx to deliver them for him. and they're always paired with your favorite flowers too. all his gifts r things that he remembered you liked/wanted (new shampoo brand, new book pela recommended, new plants).

⎯ still asks if you wanna go out even if you two have been dating long term. like he would text you and be like, "would you like to go out with me for coffee," all formal and wtv, and you would respond like, "gepard we have been dating for five years. you do not need to ask."

he would get all flustered when you would bring it up at the coffee shop. pays for your coffee so you could forget about it (you don't: you tease him endlessly).

⎯ learns other things for you. he's dedicated and loyal to you like how a soldier is dedicated to their general. if you wanted a specific kind of dish, gepard would learn how to create it. if you wanted to learn how to plant certain seeds, gepard would run to the florist (and pela) to ask for many tips. if you spoke a different language, gepard would be running to duolingo.

though there is always his duty, a part of his heart and soul will always belong to you.

blade

⎯ contrary to gepard, takes the BEST FUCKING PHOTOS of you. he should be a professional photographer or something because, all the photos he takes, makes you look like a MODEL. he gets all the angles perfectly right + he always makes sure the lighting looks good. and u look back at all the photos he took and ur jaw is DROPPED

⎯ hates going outside x goes outside 24/7. you're big on exploration and fun while blade wants to lie low. but either way, you two manage to have fun in your own respective ways. blade watches you from a distance (of 1 foot) and only intervenes if he needs to. other than that, you drag him around the entire place. he is not complaining: one stupid and cheeky grin from you, and blade realizes he is an absolute goner.

⎯ a little too supportive. it's a good thing in all aspects except for one: making decisions. this mf is like, "whatever you do, i fully support your decision." BUT THE PROBLEM IS THAT YOU CANNOT MAKE A DECISION. THAT'S WHY UR ASKING HIM.

⎯ this problem comes up very often during shopping trips. where dan heng excels at shopping trips, blade... not so much. blade is the type of bf to say, "everything looks good on you." but not bc he doesn't care enough: he genuinely thinks you look good in everything.

in his mind it's like: how could you think you look bad in that outfit when you are radiating luminosity from every crevice of the room??? does anyone else see that glow coming from you, or was it just him??

⎯ did not have a favorite color until you. he actually didn't have a lot of favorites before he met you. now his favorite color is blue (you like looking at the sky), his favorite scent is peach blossoms (the shampoo you use), and his favorite food is fried rice (it's the only thing you know how to make).

⎯ does ur hair for u. expert in hair care but it's not uncalled for (his only friends⎯not counting you⎯are silverwolf and kafka). you need to braid your hair? blade has already offered before u could even pull up a tutorial. a new cute hairstyle you wanted to try? don't worry, your boyfriend is there to help you part, section, and clip your hair.

⎯ pretends to give off big scary dog energy, in reality he is a small little lapdog. desires your love and affection so often. does not go out without you. grabs things n carries them to u like a cute little dog would. he's very devoted okay?? let him bring u stupid little trinkets and stay by ur side all the time.

⎯ you send him stupid ass memes all the time. one time u sent him one of those stupid 'good night' memes and he threatened to block you (lovingly). but he found that his reactions always make you laugh (and blade wants to keep you happy forever), so he just lets you send them to him atp. most nights, he sends a simple, "good night" text back. but when he wants to tease you, he sends a goodnight meme back.

⎯ those nights, he thinks that he hears your ecstatic giggles from down the hall. you sound so giddy that it makes his heart want to blow up. those are the good nights.

sampo

⎯ bro is mischievous. he leaves little sticky notes for you all around the house and makes it a game for u to find them. they're not even super important too they're just little things like, "i miss you," or, "did u find all the notes???"

⎯ but he knows you get bored easily, so he made those notes so that you could have something to do during the day. his intentions are adorably sweet, but his execution is so. um. A FOR EFFORT!

⎯ most of the stuff he gives you... hate to break it to u but they are usually stolen. if you choose to ignore that, great! most of the things he grabs are usually rare and u have no idea how he gets them. you swear he doesn't leave belobog, but some of the items he gifts you seem a little too... outlandish. but yk, it's the thought that counts!

⎯ manages to distract you from every single task. usually disruptive, but sometimes, very helpful. after an entire day of work, you can always come back home to where sampo is, because he will always find a way to distract you from whatever stress you have on your plate. whether it be cooking you dinner or simply talking you through his day, you always find yourself feeling slightly better around him.

⎯ has a good relationship with your family. yeah this was very unexpected on both ends. your parents love him: they love his humor and his looks and literally are charmed by him. even tho is a CON ARTIST. anyway. sampo loves your parents and messes around with you by calling them as their parental names (mom/dad). you are not amused.

⎯ grabs dinner before he comes back home. always manages to swing by a place you like and he always gets free food (you've gave up trying to question his methods). before, when he brought home food, it was usually a special occasion because he would never be home often. now, it's a common occurrence: he's wanted to be with you more, and now he brings home food every day.

jing yuan

⎯ the xianzhou's nagging king. this is not a good thing. he nags at you for a lot. did you take your allergy meds? did you eat breakfast today or just drink coffee? did you forget to clear out the pencils on your desk? he does it out of endearment. it does not make it less annoying (lies).

⎯ so accustomed to your little routines together that he can do it with his eyes closed. how do you want your tea? easy: he can list it within ten seconds. he can make it with his eyes closed. and he will always make it perfectly too.

⎯ lets you sleep on mimi (you could say you go mimimimi). not even gonna lie, sometimes he wishes he was mimi. you just sleep so peacefully on her, but you refuse to sleep on jing yuan. you make up stupid excuses like, "your bicep is going to be numb by the time we wake up." but that is simply not true (it is).

⎯ favorite times of day are when it's night. okay that didn't make any sense but he really just likes spending the night with you. it's quiet and the world is much less loud, and it feels like being with you redefined the definition of happiness. everything is so much more peaceful, and plus, you were there.

⎯ being a cloud knight general has its negative aspects. so, much like gepard, he would probably also crash into bed with you at night. but this time, he doesn't need you to move him, because he traps you in between his arms every. damn. time. it's like this man cannot fall asleep without you.

⎯ sitting down with him is like a chore. if you two are sitting down, jing yuan likes to grab your legs and move them onto himself, so you two would be closer. this isn't just on the sofa, by the way. armchairs, conference chairs, office chairs. the chairs don't even have to be connected. he'll just find a way to connect you two anyway.

⎯ you are the first person he looks for in a crowded room. in a place full of people, jing yuan's eyes will only scan for you. his height makes it easier to do so btw. but anyway, you are someone of great importance to him. he doesn't want to lose you like how he lost so many. and when he finds you, it's like the sun shines directly on you: it's always a surreal sight when jing yuan sees you, because he always thinks the sun has risen.

⎯ it hasn't. he was always looking at you.

AND GOOD NIGHT. jfc.

#tana writes (∗´ ᨔ `∗)#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #hsr #hsr x reader #dan heng x reader #dan heng x you #gepard x reader #gepard x you #blade x reader #blade x you #blade x y/n #sampo x reader #sampo x you #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan x you #i forgot how fun it is to write hcs #i didn't put much thought into these which i kinda miss ngl

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pablitogavii · 9 months

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Heyy can u do something about gavi's ear because of the match ? like the reader takes care of him something like that please 💗

Quiet times together

When you saw the video of Pablo's bleeding ear on the overhead TV, you really freaked out getting off the chair in the box and peeking through the window to see the doctor cleaning up hi wound.

"I can't believe that wasn't a red card!" your friend said but you could really care less about any of that praying that Pablo isn't seriously hurt.

When the game was over, you couldn't wait to see him very nervous to look at his new injury. When he finished his interviews, he came to the family room and you rushed to give him a quick hug.

"No..no..don't cry princesa! We won and I'm gonna be okay!" he said holding your face and drying your tears but your eyes were glued on his stapled ear and dried blood around it.

"I got really scared Pablo!" you say and he smiled pulling you closer and kissing the top of your head lovingly.

When you pulled away and he took you to grab his clothes together, team doctor called you to say about possible sensitivity Pablo might feel for a couple of days after the pain medication he took stops working.

"Avoid any loud places for at least a week. You might feel a little dizzy if you push against your sensitivity" man explained and you took in every word promising yourself that Pablo will take it easy no matter what he says.

"Thanks doc! Ready for our date princesa??" Pablo said after grabbing his bag and you remembered the restaurant date you planned before the game this morning.

"There will be live music there Pablo, and I don't think we should do it..we can have takeout at home instead?" you suggest which of course made him whine and say how he wanted to treat you.

"And you will treat me..we are going to get comfortable and order our favorite Chinese food and watch some goofy movie together?" you say placing your hand on his face careful not to touch his wound and he smiled nodding his head while kissing your lips lovingly.

"And cuddles???" he asks adorably which made his friends tease him as they passed us but he didn't care at all. I pointed kissing his lips once more time while nodding my head.

"All the cuddles you can take mi valiente ganador!" you say and he giggled nodding his head while taking your hand walking towards the cars where you left with your friend and he took the bus with his teammates.

"Please make sure he wears these on silent mode while at the bus if it gets loud?" you said to Balde who promised on his life to take care of your boy all the way back home to Barcelona.

"There is nothing to worry about princesita mia" Pablo kissed your lips one more time before you two went separate ways but no matter what you will always worry about his health.

When you arrived home, the pain medication definitely stopped working since even your little louder greeting made his face cringe in pain. You puled him closer whispering a soft apology while kissing the side of his temple.

"I ordered the food amor. And made sure TV is on the lowest volume for the move..you want to shower?" you say and he nods clearly in a lot of pain and your heart hurt to see him like that.

When he got comfortable sitting on the sofa with your, the loud ring-bell made you both jump and him cover both of his ears in pain.

"Mierda! I got it amor! I'm so sorry!" you say but he whispers that it's alright as you went and grabbed the food from the delivery guy.

"I'm sorry we didn't go on our date amor.." Pablo was whispering while eating some rice and chicken and you smiled moving closer and kissing his shoulder.

"Don't worry about it..I would much rather be here with you anyway and I love taking care of you" you say and he blushed a little yawning and even a slight pull on the stitches made his wound sour.

"Could I lay on your chest tonight?" he asks and you smile widely nodding your head before taking his hand and walking to the bedroom seeing that he was done with his food anyways.

You both laid down and he laid his head on your chest while you placed your hand on his face caressing it gently while kissing the side of his sour temple. He smiled closing his eyes feeling so good that he didn't care about the pain coming from his ear. He nuzzled his head into your neck and completely relaxed. (gif).

"It's buzzing amooor.." Pablo whined and you told him to focus on the sound of your heartbeat instead and to try to get some well deserved rest tonight.

"Talk to me...I like listening to your voice princesa" he says and you blush a little thinking of things to say to the sleepy boy.

"I was so proud of you today Pablito..you wouldn't give up no matter what..you went back into the game and you played till the end. You're the strongest man I've ever met..my strongest man" you whisper and he listened carefully blushing at the compliment and holding onto your tightly while slowly becoming more sleepy.

"And I love you..su much cariño. Whenever I see you get hurt my heart hurts..and I just want to hold you in my arms and protect you from everything..because..you..are..my..life" you say feeling yourself getting emotional and Pablo looked up kissing your lips softly before laying back down on your chest.

"I love you too preciosa..more than I've ever loved anybody..mi vida" he spoke sleepily before finally slipping into unconsciousness and you smiled kissing the top of his head continuing to play with his hair until you also grew tired and fell asleep holding him in your arms.

y.n.bebe

Barcelona, Spain

I'm not letting anybody hurt you mi bebé ❤️ tagged: pablogavi

comentarios:

pablogavi: gracias por todo amore mio ❤️❤️

y.n.bebe: siempre amorcito❤️❤️

gaviraafanzz: omg! she's so cute! take good care of him girl!!

barcafanclubs: clown for not giving that guy a red card!

fcbarcelona: our warrior.❤️

pablogavi: ❤️

pedri: come back stronger hermanito mio!

pablogavi: si hermano!

mikkykiemeney: so cute! 🥰

y.n.bebe: 😊

aurorapaezg: ❤️

y.n.bebe:❤️❤️

He is a true warrior! What STRENGHT, LOVE and DEDICATION for the club! That's our GAVI! ❤️❤️❤️

#pablo gavi x you #fc barca #fc barcelona #fc barça #gavi #gavigif #pablo gavi x y/n #pablo gavi x reader #pablo gavi icons #pablo gavi #gavira #pablo gavira #pablo martín páez gavira #pablogavixreaderfluff #pablogavixreadersmut

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according2thelore · 4 months

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36 y/o sam makes for a FORTY y/o dean. can you imagine.

in my head the dean fight is just them both accusing each other of being bad brothers to their respective sams.... just a furious mix of possessiveness and self-hating. i-can-be-a-better-big-brother-off. like a bake off! but insane.

i think old sam and dean would also bask in the admiration of their younger brothers. 36 y/o sam casually lifting weights and doing yoga in the freaking library like haha.... look at how wide my biceps are dean.... meanwhile 40 y/o dean is baking for 22 y/o sam while flexing every other second. extremely embarrassing middle aged men.

GRAHHHHH

a 22 y/o ES!Sam, a 26 y/o ES!Dean, a 36 y/o LS!Sam, and a 40 y/o LS!Dean?????

"embarrassing old men" is so REAL!!!!!!!

LS!Sam tries to find excuses to lift heavy things like 'hey have y'all seen my keys?' *lifts the armchair above his head* ES!Dean is panting and sweating and so hard that he almost passes out and ES!Sam has buried his face in his hands bc oh my god he's so transparent this is so fucking mortifying

LS!Dean keeps trying to feed ES!Sam because oh my god? this kid is so skinny? he makes him burgers and pancakes and grilled cheeses and slaps ES!Dean's hand--hard--when he tries to grab one off the plate because these are not for you, little shit.

while LS!Sam and ES!Dean are off gazing lovingly into each other's eyes or whatever, LS!Dean and ES!Sam are so uncomfortable-sticky-sick with jealousy that they end up migrating to the kitchen, where they spend hours at a time, sometimes talking sometimes not.

dean will make him lunch or snacks or crack him a beer ('if you're even old enough to drink, how old are you anyway, squirt?' 'squirt, god, what is this, 1950? i'm 22, jerk.') and ES!Sam tries to gently sneak info about the future out of dean.

dean has almost twenty years on this kid. he can't stop looking at sam's wet little mouth and feels like an old perv for it, but what else can he do about it? he thinks it's mostly unrequited lust (feeling sam's bicep and being able to wrap an entire hand around it, looking up into his little brother's eyes and sam can't even look down at him without looking away shyly, god), but when he's pulling a pizza out of the oven, he catches ES!Sam looking away sharply, blush crawling up his neck and holy shit--

that little skeeze! he was totally checking out dean's ass! everything dean makes now has to be baked, or the pans mysteriously move to the bottom cabinets and he has to bend over to get them out. he wears his best jeans and his most worn shirts or wifebeaters and takes sammy out to the garage so they can talk there while he eats food dean made and dean can really make a show of it--flexing and hauling things and bending over the engine. and who can blame sam if he has to lean over and touch? who can say dean's wrong if sam's sitting in the chair in the kitchen and his hair is mussed from sleep and his eyes are dazed and he has a smear of maple syrup at the corner of his mouth from pancakes dean made for him, and dean has to wipe it away with his thumb and suck it into his own mouth?

or reverse, ES!Dean pretending that he needs lore help so LS!Sam leans over him in the library chair, his broad chest to Dean's back, his breath on Dean's ear, his hair tickling his neck. ES!Sam asking LS!Dean questions about the armory so he can see his eyes light up, so he can watch his shoulders as he hauls something heavy, deadly and purposeful and graceful.

and oof. a dean fight would be brutal. both verbally and physically. LS!Dean would be blaming all of his past mistakes on ES!Dean (maybe if you'd loved him right, he would've stayed. maybe if you weren't such a needy piece of shit, you could've stopped him. maybe if you were stronger, you could stop what's coming. sam needs someone better than you, someone who won't fuck up.) whereas ES!Dean sees all the pockmarks in LS!Sam and knows somehow it must be LS!Dean's fault (who did that to him? who let that happen? you're talking about being strong, but you're weak. pathetic. talk about being a big man but you're just as fucking broken. i would've never let that happen, i would've never let anyone get in fifty fucking miles of him--our job is to protect sammy, all costs. i would've rather died). they keep trying to prove how much better they are, how much more they can provide.

but any way you cut it, they just soak up each other's attention and anger because it's so reassuring to know that all versions of sam's big brother love him, will do anything for him; that sam chooses dean--any dean, every dean, in every form. that all versions of your brother is your version, he will always belong to you.

but god, the jealousy!!!! he's mine!!!! petulant and childish and grown and desperate and everything in between!!!!!

you get it anon, oh lovely anon <3 they are everything to each other at all times, and time travel would just make it more twisted and possessive and frantic. <3

-lizzy

#ask box #lizzy answers #lizzy writes #kissing anon on both cheeks #ES/LS verse #a new tag for these little jewels!#anon <3

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ostensiblynone · 2 years

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PREVIOUSLY, ON PUPPET HISTORY

[deep breath] This is a show where a fuzzy little freak named The Professor teaches a guy named Ryan and a special guest about history.

Each week, there's a different lesson, and The Professor rewards his guests with jelly beans. Aw, cute! He also poops jelly beans. He then awards a trophy called the 🏆Coveted Cup🏆 after consulting with what he claims to be a complex victory algorithm. Ryan has lost every episode, even though he's definitely gotten more jelly beans than the guest on countless occasions.

Zach got no questions right, for instance. Sorry, Zach. Each episode also features a musical guest. They all seem a little unwell. In season three, a HORSE! died. 🙂 Check it out.

Sometimes, The Professor offhandedly mentions a 🧞 genie. Sometimes it seems like he may have time-traveled. We know for sure that he eats spiders and has a perfect score on wikiFeet. Look, okay, so it turns out The Professor discovered a magic lamp long ago and wished for the ability to time travel, and the 🧞 genie was like, “Whatever.”

But then everywhere The Professor 👓 went throughout time—his very presence being a blasphemous affront to the space-time continuum and all—would cause local inanimate objects to turn into the singing abominations featured at the end of each episode. This whole mess was more than the genie could deal with, so he chased The Professor through 🕰️time. But the little blue ballsack, as Ryan lovingly calls him, always managed to evade capture.

So, last season, the genie covertly made a deal with the devil and the Demon Asmodeus. In exchange for a 🏆Coveted Cup🏆, Ryan would steal all of The Professor's precious jelly beans, making him vulnerable enough for the Demon 👿👿👿 Asmodeus to possess him, and then wish himself back to the 🦖Cretaceous. This happened, and Ryan was pretty psyched, but then he asked Satan😈 if The Professor would be all right, and Satan😈 was like, "I don't know, man." And Ryan was like, "Oh, boy, I don't know about this," which was merited, because as soon as The Professor landed in the 🦖Cretaceous, this happened.

Yikes. Okay, so then last Christmas, there was a big memorial for The Professor held by all the singing puppets. But at the end of the service, they remembered that in cleaning up The Professor's time travel shenanigans, the genie had actually turned them all back into inanimate objects. So their kinda-souls are now trapped in purgatory, A.K.A. a beautiful state-of-the-art amphitheater called The Wondrium Arena. Their souls hang in the ether. It's grim. They hope that Ryan can find a way to save them, along with The Professor.

Then there was a shot of the professor in a little egg sac. Ex-squeeze me? What's going on there? I don't know.

Anyway, the pandemic was really weird, and this is basically what I've been up to the whole time. It's a lot of lore, but I mean, fuckin'... come on, man.

Just sit back and enjoy the new season. You're gonna learn a lot, you'll have a good time, all right?

Enjoy season five.

How Hippo Meat Almost Saved America • Puppet History Season 5 Episode 1 Nov 11, 2022

#puppet history #important puppet lore #ostensiblygif #watcheredit #puppethistoryedit #watcher #ryan bergara #shane madej #watcher entertainment #🙂

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lukweer · 1 year

Text

ok so like there are two parts of me, right? well there are a lot of parts but english is hurting me right now and my head isn't working so you will make due/do(?)

anyways one part is like: my sense for gay people is strong, i think i know which f1 drivers are gay and i am confident in my answers

but the other part is like: its wrong to speculate sexuality because if people havent come out then they either aren't ready to be out or aren't gay, but at the same time this generation is moving away from the construct of coming out so like... idk.

today the first part is stronger, though, so i want to share my speculations because everyone in the states only watches nascar and is a hick and i'm scared of them. they also do not like my italian accent :(

1. Max Verstappen

come on guys, any gay person could tell u he's probably bi. i mean he doesn't even try to hide it, u know? like there are compilations of him being fruity. and they are shockingly long.

he's mentioned using grindr, he's mentioned girls OR guys when talking about dating preferences, the whole thing with the freaking lei (i think thats how it is spelled, the hawaiian thing? the flower necklace?). the list goes on and on.

he's had girlfriends, and i'm pretty sure they weren't beards but i'm not sure. i'm leaning towards bi tho for this reason.

even if he isn't bi or gay or pan or whatever, he's at least incredibly comfortable with queerness and is probably a really cool dude. annoying when i'm watching the sunday races, but love him the rest of the time!

2. Lando Norris

lando is a bit more subtle with it (as are the other ppl in the list). emphasis on a bit, though.

unless you live under a rock, you've probably seen this gif:

this has called many aboard the lando is a little fruitcake train. what people don't realise is that he "eye fucks" or like... stares lovingly a lot.

other examples include:

staring lovingly at carlos sainz

checking out charles leclerc (kind of? i think he is checking him out)

staring lovingly at carloz sainz

this weird ass moment with, you guessed it, carloz sainz

there are a lot of these photos and clips out there, but i'm lazy and don't feel like looking for them so yeah. take my word for it.

i saw a post saying that if carlos and lando pulled up to the paddock holding hands and telling people they were dating they wouldn't be shocked. i agree with this statement entirely. as was stated, it takes a lot to get to that point, and we're at that point.

now i grew up a gay dude to a conservative family, and i know the little mannerisms that are like... a part of being gay? and i know what it looks like to hide them.

i do not know if this is the right way to say it or if it is politically correct, but i believe it to be true. gay men tend to have little mannerisms here and there that give us away a bit, and i think i've seen some of those in lando.

i don't think i will share them though, as i don't want to accidentally push harmful stereotypes or whatever. obviously not all gay men have gay mannerisms and it might be something lando is insecure about so i would rather not put them on blast.

if it's not a bad thing i may come back and edit this and add them in. idk, let me know i guess? i am still learning american customs.

3. Yuki Tsunoda

this is probably going to be the shortest section (ha).

yuki mostly just makes my radar go off. i don't consume alphatauri content as much, but i know there was a thing with him and pierre that was just crazy last year and the year prior. don't know as much about it as i should haha.

but yeah. yuki just sends my radar into the astral plane (is that a thing? i am doubting myself). if he is not at least bisexual i will eat my own foot.

maybe that one moment between him and michael italiano has just gotten to me, i don't know. i trust in my instincts though.

Honourable Mentions

4. Danny Ric

idk he just gives the vibe! i don't know how to explain my radar. gay people know. i think it is called gaydar.

DR is on it.

5. Carlos Sainz

he is probably on my gaydar the least, but he's still on there. latest vlog he gently combed his finger through ruperts hair. he's probably deeply in love with lando. just little things like that i guess!

6. Oscar Piastri

this may be wishful thinking. i sit in bed at night and pray that he is into men.

that is all! thank you for learning about fruity drivers with me! please do not cancel me if i am doing something politically incorrect! i am still learning!

#f1 #formula 1 #max verstappen #lando norris #yuki tsunoda #daniel ricciardo #danny ric #carlos sainz #carlando #oscar piastri #lgbtq

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pe0ple3ater · 3 months

Note

I promised something like this a while ago. This isn't entirely that first idea, I kind of tamed it down into Cellbit just fantasizing because he can't sleep, but yknow.

This is what happens when you give the cannibalistic catboy a pretty strong spider hybrid who could definitely throw him around like a doll if he felt like it. :) I might have scuffed the spider anatomy a little bit so I'm sorry for that.

Cellbit couldn't sleep. It was a common problem, but this wasn't the common circumstances.

He laid quietly next to his beloved, just admiring him in the dark of the castle bedroom. The light from the stars outside illuminated him so beautifully, like a terrifying angel or haunting spectre, but he knew the man snoring beside him was no such thing.

No. Roier was something more dangerous.

Cellbit had always had a fear of spiders, he doesn't really remember where it started but he usually excused it as having bad run ins with the little spiders that had infested the solitary cells back in Alcatraz. Nasty buggers...always left bites on him.

Roier was a spider, in a way. A hybrid, but a spider.

Would Roier ever leave bites on him?

Cellbit has thought about it before, more times than he likes to admit. Imagining those beautiful glinting fangs sinking into the flesh of his neck, leaving streaks of those beautiful beads of ruby liquid seeping down, unless Roier licked it up, consuming that little bit of Cellbit as he left his mark in his skin.

Spiders did have a habit of eating their mates, didn't they?

Would Roier ever try to eat him?

The idea scared Cellbit as much as it drew him in. Letting out little wails while watching Roier worship Cellbit by making him a part of himself, the way Cellbit had done in the past, the way Cellbit has had horribly beautiful dreams of doing to Roier.

Maybe this time it wouldn't be so wrong to share?

There was something wrong with him.

Cellbit knew there was.

Maybe Cellbit should be put down like the rabid animal he used to be.

Or maybe he needs to be sedated.

Roier had venom, didn't he? Spider venom, stored away in those terrifying mandibles that were tucked back in his mouth.

Would the venom work like a sedative?

Would Roier ever sedate him?

If he would, would he do anything to Cellbit while he couldn't stop him?

The idea was strange. Cellbit knew he wouldn't, Roier wasn't that kind of man...

But the thought of it, being so still whether he wants to be or not, a perfect pliant toy for his husband...

Cellbit's cheeks felt hot with a shameful shade of red in the dim light of the stars outside, that same light glinting off Roier's perfect fangs as the spider snored, dreaming of who knows what.

God...there really was something wrong with Cellbit.

- 📱

Hey. HEY. This is so fucking good. I want another 7k words of it please and thank you.

Cellbit would fantasize about Roier's fangs in his throat constantly, snapping between Roier ripping into him and Roier just biting to sedate him. Cellbit has felt Roier's venom before, likes the way it makes him all tingly and relaxed.

Cellbit would absolutely need the venom to relax him if they leaned into the spider thing, he's terrified of them, but it'd just make everything better. Being scared but unable to get away? Hot. Cellbit craves that feeling, the feeling of control being taken away from him in a safe(ish) way. He's probably let Roier eat him, would get off on it too because he's a freak. They really are soulmates, Roier would feel the exact same way about Cellbit.

I think having sex and eating each other would fix the both of them, physically taking in parts of each other. It's the first way Cellbit ever learned what love was, and it's rooted deep in Roier's instincts. It's perfect, they would fuck and then rip each other apart all while staring lovingly into each others eyes. Sometimes I wish they were normal.

Anyway, thank you this was amazing.

#qsmpnsfw #cannibalism #blood and gore #ro!er #cellb!t #spider ro!er you are everything to me #please let them eat each other #more cannibalism PLEASE

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woncon · 10 months

Text

03:26 - 03:27 pm

❥ heeseung x fem!reader

➳ warnings: making out, breast grabbing, a detailed centipede, killing the centipede

➳ thanks to @wonsheep for helping me fix my grammar mistakes and for giving me advice how to convert a whole story into another language precisely ❣

➳ enhypen masterlist | main masterlist

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

heeseung's kisses slowly make you go insane. the way he fondles your mouth with greedy leisure and declares his love in the language of love while holding your hips and crumpling your t-shirt: madness is the most reasonable reaction.

"i'm gonna go crazy, hee" you whisper when his kisses touch your face and then brush your neck. heeseung gives a sweet-sexy giggle at these words, then continues the pleasant work, his fingers finding their way under your shirt to your bare skin. the air is pushed out of your lungs, you helplessly spread your legs, as his fingers fight their way up to your bra and teasefully grab at your hidden breast. "you drive me crazy."

you sigh, throwing your head back, eagerly running your fingers through heeseung's hair to keep him there without losing the warmth that his breath gives you.

you make the mistake of opening your eyes and it really does make you look like you're going crazy.

"oh my god! heeseung!" you squeal, desperately shoving the boy’s shoulder away, who inexplicably crawls out of your neck and pulls his probing hands from under the t-shirt. he would break free and apologize for doing something you didn't like, but then he sees it too and cries out in disbelieving horror.

"fucking huge!"

a centipede squirms on the wall opposite the bed. its rust-brown body moves like a snake, as it puts a lot of articulated legs one after the other. its ciliated body shines disgustingly in the light.

"do something!" you elbow him.

"it'll eat me!" heeseung climbs off you and pulls you into his arms.

"it'll eat you for sure if we don't catch it. it returns in the evening."

heeseung shivers and shakes his head, as if to banish the horror-movie image.

"i dare not. i don't want to touch it."

he looks defenseless and tiny. you can't believe that he just grabbed your breast sexily and tickled your neck with his tongue. anyway, you don't want the centipede to do similar things to you later, so you calmly prepare for the fight.

you reach for your slippers next to the bed. you climb down to the ground, pull your slipped shirt back into place, and then walk to the wall. the legs of the insect resemble many strands of hair, they just walk and wave. nature is sometimes very ugly. you shove your palm into the slipper and slam down hard.

when you lift the weapon, you're greeted by a flattened remnant. you sigh. it has happened before that the centipede didn't get killed, it just fell down and continued its journey on the ground, and its potential killer freaked out.

you drop the slipper, you'll deal with it later. now you climb back onto the bed where heeseung greets you with a kiss, a grateful hug, and cuddles you like a baby.

"you're a hero. thank you! i'm so proud of you for putting on the gloves, in this case the slippers. it was epic!" he looks deeply into your eyes. "i love you!"

"i love you too, hee!"

the appearance of the centipede has changed the mood, but you don't mind, you fall together between the pillows and hold on to each other lovingly.

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sarwanoodle · 1 month

Text

DoH (Drops of Honey, iterator) and Laeka (Lizard that's actually a Beecat but they're like a werecreature don't worry about it)

The entire extremely complicated lore of DoH below for anyone curious (Warning!!!!! The Rain World universe me and my friends have slowly but surely created is very very funky there is a lot of unlore!!!)

DoH was originally designed by GC (Grayscale Contract) to be a replacement for someone part of her local group, but she ended up making a design she liked better (Sprinkles of Snow). A family of Beecats, a subspecies of slugcats, stole the blueprints and used them to make a replacement for another iterator (GRWTE).

Basically how the replacements work is when an iterator attaches the replacement puppet to their structure they like become the replacement. The Beecats were incredibly crafty and used all sorts of material they stole from the local iterators to create the replacement puppet. They forcibly attached it to to GRWTE, forcing them to become DoH.

DoH was programmed to love the Beecats, and took care of them for a while until he connected to the global chat. Some iterators in the global chat were worried about him, and decided to try to help him. DoH was removed from GRWTE, but one of the iterators that helped, EFotS (A friend's iterator), felt kind of bad for DoH, since he was kind of a separate person?

EFotS literally researched and learned some sort of forbidden sorcery (idk it's complicated) to create a soul for DoH to call his own. But EFotS kinda fricked it up a little so DoH's soul is mutated, which usually causes some weird stuff. (Me and my friends have lovingly named these cursed creatures Sproinklies)

DoH is very traumatized when he wakes up and gets his memories of what happened back. He hates Beecats now, and doesn't want anything to do with them, so he stays with EFotS. DoH eventually grows a tail, which is blamed on his mutated soul. His tail starts growing longer over time but dw about it

A while later they discover that DoH has a mouth and a stomach and is slowly turning into flesh and bones. Whenever he eats, his tail grows and another part of him becomes biological. This freaks DoH the frick out because when it first happens he literally doesn't remember that part of him not being biological and he worries that his memory is going to get worse and he's going to forget everything.

DoH's memory doesn't get worse and he doesn't forget everything so everything's fine!! But DoH still kinda struggles with an identity crisis because he's changed a lot from what he used to be and he's worried that EFotS won't care about him anymore because he's so different from the person EFotS wanted to save. But EFotS still loves him and DoH loves EFotS and did I mention they're gay they're gay as hell

Anyway if you actually read all of my insane ramblings you are also insane. Take this

#oc #art #original character #doodle #oc lore #rain world #roblox spraypaint #roblox #rain world iterator #rain world art #rain world oc #ramblings

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nitewrighter · 1 year

Note

i remember back in the day seeing fanart of zenyatta hanging out with dva cuz they were the youngest heroes in the game, can uou write something like that? where dva finds out zen is 20 and is like "do you want to form an alliance with me?" (i desperately need him to have more friends anyways love your stuff)

Hana hardly ever got to just walk around Gibraltar. Usually when things had gone quiet enough at the Watchpoint and there was no immediate danger to go flying off to, that was when she'd head back to Busan for however long she might have to check in with the Meka squad and Dae-hyun, or she'd be hosting a stream--but today she was too burnt out for either of that. Unfortunately here she was standing, in her silly little bucket hat and sunglasses (for celebrity anonymity of course) and feeling that old anxiety of A stream wouldn't be that much energy, what am I even doing here? But the sheer unfamiliarity of Gibraltar's streets more or less answered the question for her--she had barely gotten the chance to get outside since joining Overwatch, and she had been pouring virtually all of her free time into maintaining her online presence. Usually Lúcio would be her wingman for a day out like this, but he was taking care of some business back in Rio--could she have volunteered to help out with that? No.. no... she was supposed to be taking a break. She sullenly sipped her grass jelly milk tea as she walked down the street, and then held her free hand in front of herself, watching her own fingers twitch unconsciously, constantly expecting all those split-second reactions either gaming or piloting would demand. She sighed into the straw, sending up a grumpy burble of bubbles amidst the cubes of grass jelly and ice.

I could go shopping, she thought to herself, I'm pretty sure I've been cycling through the same four outfits for my streams since coming to Gibraltar and that's not good for--oh my god, I'm still thinking about the streams.

She slumped her back against a building, rocking back on her heels as she drew in another long sip, trying to clear her mind and just people-watch. It was a wonder how Gibraltar still managed to have so many tourists despite how many of the locals were freaked out by the Watchpoint. Hana paused mid-sip as she saw a single, familiar figure standing in front of a shop window. The shiny chrome-dome of an omnic donning some well-worn monk's clothing. Zenyatta was standing, hands clasped behind his back like an old man, staring into a shop window. The sun was glaring on the glass from her angle, so she made her way over to see what he was looking at. She blinked several times and glanced back at Zen, unsuccessfully trying to gauge his expression before looking back to the window display. In the window was a mannequin posing in a stylish jogger-inspired outfit that honestly wasn't a far cry from the hardy, lovingly draped styles of the Shambali. It featured a cropped jacket with somewhat bulky pockets on the chest, and high-waisted pants that cinched at the ankles, all in a warm fallow tone. Holos on the glass flashed "NEW" and "SALE" and "100% SUSTAINABLE AND FAIR-TRADE MATERIALS." She looked at Zen again.

A longing, yet thoughtful, "Hmm..." slipped out of Zen.

"So... are you going to try it on?" said Hana folding her arms.

Zen visibly startled. "Oh--My apologies, Hana, I was lost in thought. What did you mean?"

"The outfit you've been staring at," Hana shrugged, "I mean you have the waist for it."

"Really?" Zenyatta glanced back at the window display, then seemed to catch himself. "I--" Zenyatta hesitated, "I was merely admiring it. Obviously I have no need for such a... such..." he trailed off, still staring at the

"Come on," Hana tugged him by the elbow into the store.

---

"I don't carry money," Zenyatta said from inside the dressing room.

"Don't worry about it," said Hana, leafing through a clothes rack herself.

"Omnics don't need to eat or drink, and our requirements for shelter are more... minimal.. than humans."

"Uh huh," D.Va pulled a shirt off the rack and examined it. Truth be told, the clothes here were a bit too 'hippie' or 'military surplus' or 'military surplus hippie' to be her style, and it wasn't exactly Meka's sleek, sporty brand, either--You're doing it again... she thought to herself.

"Is there something you wished to talk about?" asked Zenyatta.

"Not really," Hana shrugged, "I mostly came out here to clear my head. And it's easier to shop with someone than just shop alone."

"I see," said Zenyatta, "And how are you doing in that endeavor?"

"Shopping?" Hana held up a faded blue sleeveless shirtdress skeptically.

"Clearing your mind," Zenyatta spoke up from inside the dressing room.

"You know you don't have to do that all the time, right?" Hana grinned.

"I don't understand."

"Do the whole... counselor thing with everyone."

"I believe caring about one's allies is not limited to one's duty to a team. I can care about you as an individual, Hana."

D.Va snorted. "Are you going to show me the outfit or not?" she put one hand on her hip.

The dressing room door swung open and Zenyatta carefully stepped out, smoothing the jacket and slightly readjusting the waistband of the pants. Hana's eyes widened. He really did have the

"...okay you can't not get that," she said, gesturing at the outfit with her drink.

"I am quite capable of not getting it as I do not carry money," said Zenyatta.

"Psh. No problem," said Hana with a shrug, "Meka has like, a CRAZY line of credit and I'm so bad at remembering to use it. I'll just buy it for you!"

"As a monk, I must embrace a life of humility and simplicity, and it is not within my --" Zenyatta started, but realized Hana was giving him a raised eyebrow, 'come on' look. "I... suppose... it would be more outside of my beliefs as a monk to refuse a gift from a friend."

Hana snorted a little.

"Thank you, Hana, truly," Zenyatta gave a slight bow of his head.

"It's not a big deal... Hana said, glancing off and itching at her cheek with a fingernail.

He wore it out of the store, and got more than a few glances and rubbernecks as he and Hana walked together. His shoulders bunched up as someone wolf-whistled from across the street. Hana just snickered. It was fun seeing someone else snag a lot of attention for once.

"I told ya you have the waist for it," Hana elbowed him.

"Quite remarkable," Zenyatta fidgeted with the cuffs of the jacket.

"Well, you have good taste," she tossed her drink in a nearby trashcan.

"I was reflecting more of the fact that, despite the fact that you said you were taking time for yourself today, you went out of your way to do something kind for someone else."

"It's just a little bit of shopping! It's not a big deal," Hana pocketed her hands.

"You did not answer my question, earlier," Zenyatta glanced toward her. It was already a little off-putting seeing him walking rather than floating, and the fact that he was taller than her when standing only compounded that.

"What question?"

"About your experience in clearing your mind."

Hana huffed. "Of course you're still hung up on that."

"Naturally. I care about my friend."

Hana gave him a frustrated pout before interlacing her fingers behind her head and sighing. "I'm really bad at it, honestly."

"Oh?"

"I keep thinking about the Meka squad, or maybe that I could be running diagnostics on Tokki and sending notes back to Dae-hyun, or maybe I could be streaming and telling my fans that Overwatch is doing a good job--we're doing a good job, right?"

Zenyatta shrugged.

"So I'm thinking about all that even though I'm just supposed to be here, and I'm just supposed to be having a good time, and then I just--I just bullied you into getting a tracksuit just to distract myself!"

"You bought this tracksuit," Zenyatta offered, "And I do appreciate it, greatly."

"Hrmgh," Hana folded her elbows forward from her interlaced fingers with exasperation.

"From the sound of it, however, it would seem that you do have a great awareness of your own thoughts," he mused.

"Eh?" Hana glanced at him.

"Well, when most think of honing one's mental focus, of clearing one's mind, the typical image is of the monk on the mountaintop in perfect concentration."

"You mean... you," Hana said with a slight finger-gun gesture.

"Possibly. But to ask the mind not to think is to ask a fish not to swim. Even the electrical brain of an omnic is constantly running multiple algorithms simply to maintain our systems and our sensory intake."

"So what's the trick?"

"...what you have been doing all afternoon--noticing when your mind is going in a direction you don't want it to go, and course-correcting."

Hana stared at him for a few seconds. "That's it?"

"That's it," Zenyatta shrugged.

"No--no--no--there's gotta be more," Hana scratched under the brim of her bucket hat.

"Well.. to make it easier, you can come up with a mantra."

"Okay, there it is," said Hana.

"'Mantra' simply translates to 'mind tool.' It is only a short phrase you employ to re-center yourself when you find your thoughts wandering beyond your control."

"Right. 'Om.'"

"It doesn't have to be 'om.'"

"It doesn't?"

"It can be virtually any phrase that emphasizes that this space within your mind is a space you can return to for peace and clarity. It can be something you associate with a good memory, or simply a phrase that comforts you to hear, or something that is unique enough to break you out of negative thought patterns."

"Liiiike... 'grass jelly tea?'" Hana was winding a strand of hair around her finger thoughtfully.

"If that is what works. The mind is wonderfully unique, is it not?"

"Yeah..." Hana said, glancing off. A few long seconds passed before she suddenly perked up. "You did it again," she said, pouting.

"Hm?"

"You don't have to keep doing it, you know!" Hana splayed her hands, pacing in front of Zenyatta.

"...talking to you?" Zenyatta tilted his head.

"Yeah--I mean no--I mean yeah--I mean we can just hang out! You don't need to be doing all the... 'meditation mantra training' thing!"

"No, but... I do very much appreciate your curiosity. And it makes me happy to offer advice to my friend."

"Well yeah, but--" Hana huffed. "Do you ever turn off?"

"Omnics can enter a low-power mode," Zenyatta said blithely.

"I mean the whole selfless, self-sacrificing thing," Hana said flatly.

"I could ask you the same thing," Zenyatta responded, "I suppose we could simply both learn to course-correct together."

----

About a week and a half had passed since that day, and Zenyatta was quietly meditating in one of his favorite spots on the watchpoint cliffs overlooking the sea. He heard someone clear their throat behind him and glanced over his shoulder.

"Uh--hey," Hana gave an awkward wave. "Room for one more?"

Zenyatta wordlessly scooted to one side and Hana plopped down next to him. She closed her eyes and took a long steady breath.

"Grass jelly tea," she said, very quietly to herself, "Grass jelly tea..."

She opened one eye at Zenyatta, expectantly.

"You're doing fine," said Zenyatta, "Though, of course, you are a better judge of your own thoughts than I am. Your mantra is your companion. It is not a bludgeon against your other thoughts."

"Okay, okay, okay--" Hana shut both her eyes and took another deep breath. "Grass jelly tea..." she said again.

"Hana?" Zenyatta spoke up.

"What? What am I doing wrong? It's the mantra. I knew it. The mantra's dumb, isn't it?"

"I like your mantra," said Zenyatta, "I simply wished to say that I watched your stream last night, and I enjoyed it greatly. It is wonderful to see how loved you are by your fans."

Hana blinked a few times. "Th-thanks... you could join the next one, if you want."

"That would be interesting..." said Zenyatta, "Now--as we were?"

Hana took another deep breath and settled where she was seated. "Grass jelly tea..." she said again.

#Hana Song #dva overwatch #tekhartha zenyatta #overwatch #overwatch fic

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meowpupp · 5 months

Text

tw//: spanking, fem reader, not edited

sweet puppygirl who asks price to spank her. who craves the feeling of her owners rough hand coming down harshly on her ass.

they’re calloused and rough from years of work, large and strong. with each spank the sting builds, only making you leak over his thighs.

but price is nice, he strokes your poor cunt between spanks, slowly circling your clit to soothe the ache. he lets you get all relaxed, soft and moaning for him, then makes you beg for another.

he can’t help how hard he gets as you beg for him to spank you. such a filthy pet, getting off to being punished, dripping all over his lap from a few harsh spanks.

and when you cum? two big fingers stuffing your tight cunt while his thumb circles your clit? he almost laughs. his dirty little pup, ass red and hot, cumming all over his fingers.

#i’m sorry i’ve been ignoring my inbox #i’ve been so uninspired #idk what’s wrong with me #anyways eat up freaks (/lovingly)#mw2 x reader #mw2 smut #price x reader #john price x reader #price x chubby!puppygirl #price x female reader #price x reader smut #john price x reader smut #john price smut #john pric

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cephalonheadquarters · 4 months

Note

my stupid ass accidentally hit unfollow instead of ask button -_- ANGYWAYS like what is UP with c.Cemelo? Camelo>?i forgot how to spell his name the second i looked away from it THE MUTLICOLORED MENTALLY ILL GUYthag one. i have so many questions about him like why is he a freak (lovingly). why is his relationship with the big guy so inasne liek whats theier deal. im so interested (props my chin up in my hands and smiles suuuper wide) i would love to hear about them if u wanna talk about them PEACE ✌ (i mean all this genuiinely btw)

HIS NAEM CHAMELO it’s just Chameleon but also Camilo. I hope that helps..you got it close in the second try. the first one is like cementHe was forced to eat cement at 6. I'm probably going to switch around with his nicknames and name a lot (Chamy, Melo) out of habit sorry if its confusing

ANYWAYS. I'M REALLY GLAD YOU ASKED HI ok. LOTS of words soooo undah da cut they go. Also sorry if a lot of this does Not make sense trust me I don't make sense to myself sometimes

He is a freak because I really like characters like him. He's basically how my thought process works so that probably also means you're calling me a freak too(Lighthearted)

He is horrifically anxious and has got anger issues and is just real irritable in general (And probably more things.?). He has trouble dealing with his own emotions because they're often so extreme, so he does things on impulse despite overthinking a lot. He sorta contradicts himself in his thoughts and feelings and actions. Idk he's weird. Doesn't always know what he wants and has a tough time with communication. Him changing colors involuntarily depending on his mood doesn't help either if the person he's talking to knows which colors go with what feeling. He tries his hardest to hide his emotions when he wants to whether it be angry, nervous, sad, even happy, but he also knows he'll always have a dead giveaway if he feels anything ever.

(Note: Optional reading in this next part I ended up rambling↓)

I do worry about him getting so worked up because I don't want people to think that I think feeling emotions is dumb or whatever because I tend to like. Make him accidentally funny or play it off as a joke. And then I remember he feels like I do so I don't care if people get mad at me for having a character that gets upset or jumps to conclusions over little things or has a lot of inner monologue that's just freaking out because I do that a lot too. I like when I can relate to characters, I like to put things about me in my characters. People have told me that a lot of my characters have very real personalities (I LOVE WRITING PERSONALITIES) so I think I'm okay. It makes me feel extra happy when people tell me they can relate too. A lot of that didn't explain anything about him actually sorry lawl they call me the rambler

Okey anyways

About him and Diesel (da big guy)....

I don't even know where to start with them goodness gracious they're a mess. I guess when they first met. Chamy got a new job at the stupid dumb pizza place that Diesel had already been working at for a while despite almost Never showing up for (Their boss, Sharlotte, doesn't even give a darn and thinks of Diesel as a "son she never had" so he gets away with a lot). Diesel noticed Melo was new and because he is like a big cartoon bully of course he messes with Chamelo, mainly by stealing his beloved motor scooter thing.

Diesel made sure Chamy saw that he stole it, he wanted Chamelo to see him. If he wanted Melo to try to get back at him, it worked. When he finally caught Diesel with his scooter, Chamelo lunged at him like a rabid animal and they started fighting over it. Of course, Chamelo won through sheer rage and took back his scooter and Diesel hasn't taken it since then, but Melo has to let him drive it whenever they're delivering together (Because Sharlotte thought it was a genius decision to partner him up with Diesel because she thought Chamelo would die).

Chamelo holds a grudge against Diesel over that whole situation, but now he just finds himself instigating a fight with him for literally no reason (There is a reason it is because he is Gay and a Freak).

He then eventually realizes he is Madly In Love with that chimaera guy and has a meltdown about it and can't tell ANYONE or he will DIE!!!!!! And so he becomes incredibly awkward and even more annoying around Diesel

Asker (his friend he doesn't know is his friend) questions him about Diesel because they notice him being weird about him and they find out he likes him but they don't really care but one time they told Diesel that Melo is kind of a freak about him and then Chamelo punched them in the face (I drew it in [this post] except it's in inklish because I thought it was stupid it's sandwiched between a bunch of other drawings sorry. I still think it's funny though)

Umm yeah Chamelo is hopelessly in love and is quite scared about it because he's never felt actual romantic love before with another fish, only his scooter(bc. objectum...). He doesn't know how to deal with his feelings! It's like, a weird mix of hatred and yearning. So like. A hate-love. He wants to keep hating Diesel, he doesn't want to get attached to him but he already is..!! He feels like he's supposed to hate him, Chamy doesn't know what he even likes about Diesel. He wants to stop feeling like this but he doesn't want to at the same time, if that makes sense. He tries to tell himself it's a passing feeling or anything that isn't being in love.

He's scared of what could happen if they ever do end up together, that he might stop being in love and maybe it was just a passing feeling after all, and he's frustrated at the thought of Diesel never knowing about how he really feels. He doesn't know what to do about this, and most likely won't for a while. It's painful and overwhelming for him both physically and emotionally :'(

Diesel still I guess bullies Chamelo sometimes but that is just because he always does that and doesn't know anything about himself 🤣🤣😂😂AAAHHHH AAAAGHHH AHHHHHH AHHH AHHsorry. He is bisexual. He does not know that. He also shows up to work more because of Chamelo. But he also didn't realize that until they had a short one-sided conversation on Squidmas [see here].

Diesel is taking longer than Chamelo to realize he likes him, and honestly I cannot imagine a world where Diesel actually reciprocates feelings. I don't want to say he will but I don't want to say he won't. I don't know how to describe it. Something just happens I guess lol. I'll figure it out

Since then, they've been oh-so-painfully-slowly warming up to each other, still getting mad at one another, still yelling, still fighting, still absolutely Hating the other's existence...but hey...they're together more because they want to be.........AAAGHHHHHHH isn't fighting so intimate😍THEY HAVE TO STOPPPP sorry .Sorry. I'm really normal about their horrendously weird relationship that is taking Forever to get better. It's like slow-burn if you put it at 0.5x speed. Also I wouldn't call them enemies to lovers, they aren't exactly enemies nor are they lovers later That doesn't make sense but I wouldn't know how to explain it. Swagever.

At some point Sharlotte's car and a modded trizooka have to do with them (along with a couple older ocs of mine) but that doesn't really have anything to do with right now. A lot of my drawings of the two are out of order because I'm impatient lol. I want to try to not go through like. arcs? so quickly because 1. I fear the day I run out of ideas and 2. Everything has to end and I don't like the idea of finishing all of my splatoon's lives but luckily splatoon happens in real time so I have a lot of years to go if I'm That determined about my guys LOL Sorry unrelated

TL;DR Diesel and Chamelo's relationship is so complex and stupid it is almost entirely beyond my own comprehension. They hate each other so much that they want to be with each other.

Okay that's all I could think of. A Billion Thankies for asking me about them... Apologies if you didn't really need all of That for me to explain. I like to explain things ❤

#jfc. Sorry that is a ton of words i kept having to reread everything a million times if i got something wrong or missed anything well.#then i will die forever #It is currently 2 am this took me a While. Ok goodnight #ask #chamelo fláje #diesel fintasma

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some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat · 12 days

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3 things:

What's a song, band, album, or playlist you want to shout out?

What are your opinions on pets (dog, cat, neither, other)?

Finally, what's a boring fact about you?

Cheers, have a good one.

Oh yes!

Shoutout a band? SEEMING, SEEMING, SEEMING BABY! They're even on tumblr: @seemingmusic

Their music is great and the lyrics are freaking phenomenal poems and I have no idea why they're not among tumblr's favorites like? "The future will be borderless, and red and queer and bold, for I was born to make my kind extinct" (End Studies) "Dreamt of gutting billionaires... But when I woke, blood was gone" (Go Small) you've got the eat the rich be queer do crime philosophy all over it! "Like a tall tree, I am pining to be taken up by the lightning! Strike me! I dare you! I dare you! Heaven, hear me! Like a mantis, I am praying, out of habit, without saying anything, for the bloody sting of a kestrel come to snatch me" (Remember to Breathe) it's got puns it's got self destructive thoughts it's got vague religious implications which I'm not a fan of personally but you guys seem to love it when it's Hozier. And who can ignore "To the gunmen who guard against all of the starving: God will bury you, nature will bury you [...] To the terrified rich man: God will bury you. To the killers of animals: nature will bury you." (The Burial) like don't tell me that doesn't go hard. (Personally I like to think of The Burial as not a threat but a loving promise. It continues "To the worshipper of justice, the reliance on reason, and the fire in your eyes: God will bury you, nature will bury you, time will bury your bones unseen. Total and absolute. Infinite amplitude. Till all the black is ripe and green." and because honoring the dead and burying them is an important act of kindness, I like to think of this as a promise that no matter who you are, no matter who you leave behind to mourn you, you will be buried. You will die and you will return to the Earth and you will be lovingly welcomed, it is inevitable and inescapable, I promise. I know I already rambled about this when I reblogged that worm poem post but I will keep talking about it because I love it and I don't know how many people actually read it.) There's so much more I want to say but I'm on mobile in bed hours past bedtime and this paragraph is probably already way too long and disorganized so like maybe tomorrow but! Regardless of whether you can listen to the music I highly recommend reading some of the lyrics here: https://seemingmusic.tumblr.com/text

Anyway moving on from minor infodump, I'm not entirely sure what you mean by your second question like are you asking my opinion on pets as a concept or my preferences for having pets or? I think humans love to pack bond with things that are not humans and as long as the human is able to meet the needs of an animal to create a mutually beneficial relationship that's a good thing, but ideally you should opt for domesticated animals (animals that have been our companions for so long they are genetically distinct from their wild counterparts) since they are best adapted to living with humans. I was practically raised by cats living with my workaholic single mom and our cats so personally I love cats and probably have a better time connecting with them than I would other common pets like dogs. Currently mom and I are sharing two cats, brothers, but one rarely visits me while the other is obsessed with me but I suspect this is because a) I always have his favorite snack available (potato chips. yeah I don't think he knows he's a cat) and b) I pet him the way he likes best (which is a lot of rubbing and scratching his spine by the tail intermittent with chin scritches, but he wants you to be firm with it as though he were a dog... again this man is not aware he's a cat).

A boring fact about me... Well easy mode is just "I have two feet" or "I ate a sandwich for breakfast today" but let me try to think of something a bit more personal yet still uninteresting... I have watched less than one episode of Supernatural. Yeah that's boring yet specific.

Thank you so much for the ask sorry my reply is a little messy I was already in bed when I got this!

#sfw #personal #anonymous #ask the tooth folk #ok to reblog

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howlinghound11 · 7 months

Text

now for random screenshots!

Most of these are just Mr Mumbles lol shes so freaking cute and tiny, i cant stop taking pictures of her

these first couple pics were taken in the default house that was on the lot when i bought it bc i immediately lost my mind as soon as the game loaded lmao (that house did not last long lol)

look at her! she's so small! she fits in dan's hands! its so sweet lol

she is literally just a speck on the floor lmao

she can barely even reach her food!

a few more, just to really drive home how tiny she looks when shes interacting with things lol

heres dan having to sleep on chris and elise's couch before i built his house lol

I love this one ❤ they were best friends like within days lol they are just so cute i stg

they were talking to each other in this one but bc the screenshots dont usually capture the speech bubbles, you cant see that he was talking to her about aliens and she kept emoting hearts lol

dan sleepin in chris' bed just because lol

lol she was sleeping like this and it was just too funny to me so i had to take a picture ofc

this ball is like literally half her size lmao i cannot get over how tiny she is! and shes not allowed to get any bigger lol

Bustin' in! Uninvited and interrupting (as per usual lol) also dont ask me what chris and elise were doing lol i dont remember

Look at how Mr Mumbles is looking at Dan! she was like looking at him all lovingly while he was playing a game 💚❤💕

mad cus he has to sleep in his own bed lol

this one is funny bc like dan woke up angry, in his own house, and immediately went straight to chris and elise's house to eat breakfast with chris lol you cant see the speech bubbles but dan was ranting about conspiracy theories lol and i was going crazy like "its just like real life* lmao" (*what happens in the actual show)

and heres one more tiny Mr Mumbles for the road! lol i just think its so funny the way she eats from that big bowl

anyway! thats all i got for now, if i take more pics i might post them but idk lol

#these pictures actually look like so random lol #but theyre very funny to me #dan vs #the sims 4 #dan vs the sims #its actually really fun playing with them with the traits i gave them #all kinds of wild things happen #sometimes things i didn't even know could happen lol #i have once again forgotten if i was going to say anything else #oh well lol #me #my posts

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herrscherofsentence · 1 year

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Heyo

I was wondering if I could get a Bernard x male reader, where the reader and Bernard obviously have huge crushes on each other, and everyone knows about it, but both of them have it stuck in their heads that the other would never love them.

While m/n was working (he's a baker) Bernard couldn't help himself, so he was staring, very obviously and lovingly, towards him as he baked.

M/n can feel him staring, and when he looks up, he meets Bernards eyes and he quickly darts his eyes and goes back to doing whatever he was supposed to be doing.

One day, Bernard has been convinced by one of m/n's friends, that indeed, they should hook up.

All day, Bernard is planning a a way to ask him out, and he is freaking out.

By the end of the day, he comes to the bakery. There, m/n sat, reading. He gives him a flower (wholesome neurodivergent happiness from m/n) and they go on a stroll out side. while they were staring at the stars, Bernard pulls m/n closer, and finally kisses him, but he is hesitant. He is surprised and his heart melts when m/n kisses him back.

Sorry if that's too much :/

Remember to eat and drink :)))

Bernard x male reader

〜♡

pronouns mainly used are you/yours :)

〜♡

summary : look at request

♪〜

Author’s note ; Apologies this took so long, this was originally supposed to be posted around the 25th of December. Hopefully this is too your liking, enjoy :)

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In all honesty out of all the other baker elves you were the tallest and oldest from the others so in ways you were like a parent to them. The other baker elves went to you when they needed help, today was like any other day but it felt more dry than until you felt someone looking directly at you, at first you tried to ignore it but it soon was getting very hard so you look in direction of the person staring.

The person or rather elf was no other than the head elf Bernard as soon as he noticed you staring he looked away and when back to overseeing the elves doing their jobs then a giggling voice caught your attention, “My god, [name] Bernard has a crush on you” your good friend Kurata voice chimed in. “Hm? oh no he doesn’t, Kurata. I-I mean look at me I’m just some baker and he’s the head elf.” you stuttered slightly, a light dust of blush forms on your face. “I see you blushing~” your friend teased “Hey you know you can tell me anything, if you have a crush on Bernard. Your secret is safe with me” they said to you before walking away, ‘Maybe Kurata does have a point..you might actually have a crush? on him? Bernard the head elf? no no you don’t, no [name] you don’t. There’s no way’ you thought, there wouldn’t be anyway that him of all people could like you in a romantic way..

Your dearest friend Kurata noticed the way Bernard looks at you, with such loving eyes. So Kurata, being Kurata puts it in they own responsibility to get you two together, You definitely have a big crush on Bernard and he likes you back, “Hey Bernardd” Kurata has a big suspicious smile on their face “I’ve seen the way you’ve look at my friend. It’s obvious you have a crush on him” Kurata comes up behind Bernard, with Bernard snapping his head in Kurata’s direction, taken off guard. “What? No I do not” he states “Well”Bernard looks right to Kurata, rolling his eyes. Kurata lets out a long sigh “Atlas, y’know if you do have a crush on anyone, just go do it, go confess to them. You gotta take your chances, Bernard before its too late.” Kurata claimed before Bernard told them to get back to work.

A couple days went by Bernard was thinking about what Kurata had said and maybe they were right maybe he should confess to you. He aimlessly walked throughout the workshop, before finding you on a break just reading a book as the rare sunlight shined brightly on your back. while the aroma from freshly baked goods flown throughout the bakery, Bernard took a deep breath as this was the day he was going to confess to you, he still was freaking out from earlier that same day. “[name].” Bernard said coming up “Will you go on a walk, with me?” he asks giving you a flower, a smile formed on your face with a dust of pink forming on your cheeks with a quick nod.

The day soon became night and the walk became stargazing, the tension between you two was incredibly high. You two elves knew it, both of them being in love yet neither one wanted to admit it that was until Bernard made his move and kissed you, the blush on your face increasingly brightening as you kissed back.

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〜♡

#bernard the elf #bernard the elf x reader #x male reader #bernard the elf x male reader #bernard x male reader #romantic #the santa clauses #the santa clauses x m!reader #the santa clauses x male reader

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