Character: I think boys are pretty

Fandom: oh! They're gay! That's canon!

Different character: I have no interest in romance or sex. I don't understand it. Relationships confuse me. They seem pointless to me. I have no desire to be in a romantic or sexual relationship. I am an aromantic asexual.

Fandom: well, I guess you can interpret them as aroace...I don't see it though.

I notice a trend with people who find aro and aces not belonging to the community because 'their not oppressed' like it's a fucking competition. And how they do that is basically downplay our experiences to just being nothing or something that's not worth mattering. Things such as 'oh your oppressed? What? For your family asking if you date sometimes? That your friends and family may not understand you? Pfft, like that's the same as the r4pe, assault and murder WE experienced!'

Of course, aro and aces face more than that (and even HAVE faced the same things your claiming we don't experience) but that's not the point. The point is, they belittle experiences of aro and ace people without any sense of understanding what it would be/feel like from our perspective. Of course, our loved ones not understanding our orientation is not a big thing to you. But it is to us.

Within my family, love is an expectation, not an option. Many of them express how love is this universal important thing and when I reject that notion by just simply stating that i don't even want to be in one, they dismiss it and tell me that later on, I'll change my mind. It's the same with sex but in a lesser extent (that being it's not as talked about as it is to love) This expectation drives me away from expressing my true self to them, hiding my orientation in fear of their reactions (whether it's not believing in me, claiming that i was brainwashed my the internet, you get the deal) This is combined with the fact that aro and aces are practically invisible in representation (aromantics especially) makes it a rather isolating experience in the closet as most people wouldn't know that people like you exist and with society centering love and sex as this universal thing, how can they believe you? And to anyone who tries to downplay isolation, note this to someone that was very isolated before that; it can truly be a slippery or even miserable experience. It is predominantly so too if your mental health is already declining. Everything remaining in your head with no room to release is very frustrating, I would know, I lived it as my own mental health took a downturn. It's only when i started making friends, people I can talk to without this lingering fear, that i started to get better. And I'm lucky i still have friends who support me and my identity, some people don't even have that at all. Some of them are completely isolated with no one to turn to for support. These people also associate us as being 'too online' but that is majorly because the internet would be the only place to find this support from given free access in expressing ourselves on social media. Why else am I so public about my aroaceness online? But of course, it's not like they'll care. The only reason why they say that shit about us is because they don't bother to understand our experiences/issues we face because it doesn't make sense to them. Like a standard bigoted being, they would rather stay in their bubble and attack rather than venture out to explore our perspectives.

No, I don't care about your orientation, you belittling our experiences is no different from bigots belittling your own experiences. And you know which community also faces isolation from lack of understanding and representation for their identities? That's right, you. The lgb alliance and anyone ace/arophobic in our community. You might as well dismiss your own isolating experiences while your at it.

We have shared similar experiences to you (being in the closet, fear of coming out, lack of representation, lack of understanding etc) and all bigots want us as well as you to be non existent. So why bother trying to gatekeep us out of the community just because we don't follow your personal norms of sexuality? The whole of lgbt is to give people who aren't fit in societal norms a sense of community. We clearly don't fit in society's norms of orientation (that being mono straight cis and allo) so why is this even a debate?

Anyways, aro and aces are part of the community whether you like it or not. Peace.

every once in awhile i remember when i was talking with my mom and i told her i don’t want to date and i probably won’t and she just said that i will eventually, insinuating i just need to be older and i will be interested in that.

every once in a while i also remember that one girl in my family who has never dated anyone she was assumed by most if not all of the family to be a lesbian. um… how does this work? how does not dating ever = a lesbian?

why can’t allos just accept some people don’t date?

and i am not out just to clarify that, they’re probably very much unaware of the aro & ace labels. i don’t plan on coming out, it’s no one’s business.

My lonely ass: ooh a new message request!

The message: do you wanna see HOT BARELY LEGAL PORN???? DO YOU WANNA SEE NAUGHTY TEEN ONLYFANS???? SHE JUST TURNED 18 TEN MINUTES AGO🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🥵🥵🥵🥵🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞

does it bother anyone else when shippers say that there is “no platonic explanation” for something? like i understand when it’s about kissing on the mouth, cuz like 9 times out of 10 that’s a romantic thing, but when characters say “i love you”, one blushes at the other, they buy each other something sweet, stuff like that. like. there literally is tho? i understand that some people use that as fire to fuel a ship (i get it, i’ve done that too for ships i like) but i just *loathe* when people say that there’s no way it can be platonic. i get that most people don’t mean it to be but it just feels really invalidating to aro people, especially those in close friendships and queer platonic relationships. it just enforces the myth that platonic relationships can’t be as passionate or affectionate as romantic ones.

yes that blush can be romantic. yes, they might be holding hands because they are romantically involved. no, that doesn’t mean your favorite romantic ship is canon. no, that doesn’t mean that those two close friends are necessarily lovers.

why is it cute and awkward and disgusting at the same time??

mc (Clara) is bi. but here she's with a guy and maybe because it's heterosexual moment or maybe because I'm aroace, it is disgusting for me. but when there were moments about Clara and another girl, it wasn't disgusting. but why do I find this cute as well as awkward and disgusting?? wth

Cole and Nya's friendship is so important to me for one specific reason.

They're friendship is so deep and loving and affectionate in spite of everything that happened in season 3.

In my experience, anytime romance is even suggested in any friendship, it destroys the possibility of still having a deep and meaningful platonic connection with that person. Because all everyone ever thinks of is that one of them had a crush on the other so surely there must be something more going on.

And yet Cole and Nya aren't afraid to show how much they care for each other. They're not afraid of offending Jay, or that the other has a different idea.

And it's not like Nya's relationship with the other boys, because unlike her relationship with Lloyd or Kai, who are her brothers, her relationship with Cole (and also Zane) is purely platonic, which so many people see as "the first step".

I just love seeing deep male/female friendships, probably because I personally have been deprived of such meaningful friendships because of everyone's obsession with romance.

This is a more light hearted rant about how I play link as aro ace wich is why I don’t understand totk shippers getting in tussle over yona and Sidon because of their chosen ships.

I play link they way I live so I don’t care for romance or sex and just think everyone is pretty

Link and Sidon best bros. He’s charming and most definitely feel queer in some way but because of how I play it like bromance all the way.

What you mean you have a fiancé that cool bro but I’ve never even heard of her and your saying you’ve know her sence childhood little sketch my dude but good in you

Zelda and link they probably thought about it. Like when you no somebody really well you look at them and go “you know we could date if we wanted” and then you both shrug cause who needs labels when you are fine and comfortable with what you’ve got. They are best friends and both dint feel any need to put a different label on it.

I don’t get shipping and I find it funny watching the fandom try to burn itself out with its ships. Normally I just shit and watch till the smoke clears and enjoy a nice calm fandom

why do I as an aroace man end up giving out the most love advice to my friends literally in every friend group I've been in since high school I always end up being either the person to come to for relationship advice or some sort of couples therapist and like I know I'm good at it but its not because I wanna be good at it I'm only this good because everyone seems to come to me.

Sometimes being aroace su*ks because your friends don't understand and you don't seem to be able to explain it properly. And even though you love them because they're cool friends, you feel lonely among them.

"I love you."

Maybe it's just because I'm aroace or maybe I'm just weird, but I can tell my friends that I love them. Like without a thought. And they're usually really startled when I do it. Is this normal??? Do people just go around making awkward smiles and avoiding three little words at all costs??? Like bro. Love your homies, their friendship is eternal.

Angry aro/ace rant incoming

Okay I see WAY too many aro/ace posts and memes centering on the idea that we’re valid and I just wanna say: I know that. I fucking know that. I know there’s nothing wrong with me. I’m very adamant about the fact that nothing is wrong with me. I get it

I understand that lots of people need to hear that and see that and stuff but it’s over half the content I see from aro/ace accounts. It’s just “remember you’re valid” I can’t forget, it’s the only thing you actually talk about aside from when people tell you you’re too young or you don’t know what you’re talking about or whatever. Argh

You know what I would like to see more than just “you’re valid” over and over again? People actually fucking talking about what it’s like to be aro/ace. Like how terrifying it is to be on a date even if the person is the nicest most harmless person ever and they’ve never done anything wrong in their life but the bad part of it is the fact that you two are on a date and people might see you and assume you’re on a date.

How crazy it is when it hits you occasionally that “oh wait, the majority of people on earth over a certain age walk around wanting to get banged and thinking about how they can accomplish that and some of them might view you as someone they could do it with” and how not only frightening it is to be viewed as a potential sex object (IM A PERSON NOT A DOLL DO NOT INSERT ME INTO YOUR FANTASIES I DO NOT WANT TO BE THOUGHT OF IN THAT MANNER) but also how crazy it is to think that to them, you’re the weird one for not feeling that way when to you, they’re all very very strange for being like that because to you, it’s a foreign concept (or even if you understand or feel it on some level, it’s not exactly in the same way).

How it feels to read scientific texts and see people say the basic survival instincts include, fighting, feeding, fleeing, and fucking and some part of your brain registers that, according to this piece of text that was seen as accurate enough to get published, you’re missing an important survival drive that most people have. This leads you to either wondering if the scientists are getting something wrong or if there’s something wrong with you on some level because you’re perfectly healthy and happy without a (strong) sex drive but according to a lot of professionals worldwide, you shouldn’t be. Either sex drive has been categorized as more important on the hierarchy of needs than it should be or there’s something wrong with your hypothalamus.

How terrifying the thought of your friends leaving you for romantic partners is? How afraid you are of losing everyone to their s/o? How you know that to some people, you’re just not important enough to live with or to be seen more than once a month because the person or people they’re with is viewed as inherently more important and their bond is more meaningful? It’s so easy to think that people who leave their friends for their partners are lame and not worth it but the reality is that a LOT of people prioritize their partners over their friends and some of those people mean too much to you to let go of simply because you can only be second at best.

Can we actually talk about what being aro/ace is like more often instead of only reminding people that they’re valid? Maybe I’m just being hit with those posts and nothing else but I would really like to see some people actually discussing this stuff in depth.

(If anyone knows of any accounts that frequently talk about it please send them my way, I need aro/ace discussions so badly)

“Don’t move your hips like that it’s inappropriate.” “Don’t eat like that it’s like you’re making out.” “Wear longer shorts you show too much skin.” SHUT UP. IT FEELS NICE TO DO THAT. IT TASTES BETTER IF I DO THAT. I FEEL NOT AS HOT IF I WEAR THOSE CLOTHES. MY LEGS ARE PRETTY WHY CAN’T I SHOW THEM OFF WITHOUT FEELING LIKE I’M IN DANGER.

Darcy make me think

I'm aroace but i'm sapphic too, my family is too homophobic, I think I would do the same as Darcy, hold hand and kiss my partner in public (I'm ok with kissing btw), but at home it would be difficult, not for me for her, I don't want them to disrespect her, because they pretend to be ally but they are not, I don't have a partner but I'm always imagine things about it.

Btw please block me if you think any varient of aromantics, asexuals or aroaces don't belong in the LGBTQ community (including cishet aros and aros/aces/aroaces who feel attraction.. my god y'all they don't get a free pass to exclude)

I'm not aroace myself, but I will NEVER stand for the blatant aphobia present in the community.

why is one of the first search results for aroace (system) someone wanting aro people to feel attraction (through magic). Literally grow up there are so many people who feel attraction leave us aroaces alone.