#been having this idea for a while and now I finally finished it!
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Lost Sight of My Treasure (1)
Summary: Hongjoong agreed to get married if she promised that he'd never have to choose between her and his career, but he didn't realize that his priorities would have to change when they had a child.
c/w: angst
pairings: idol!dad!Hongjoong x mom!reader
a/n: I thought of this idea on a whim one day, and finally decided to write it out.
w/c: 3.3k
When the children finished singing, you clapped as Haein smiled brightly. You hoped it would stay that way. You hoped she wouldn’t realize that her father hadn’t come tonight to see the performance she had been boasting for so long, eager for her father to see it. He said he would and she trusted him wholeheartedly, so when she looked through the crowd and didn’t see him, she thought that she probably just couldn’t see him from where she was. She had been practicing for a whole month! There was no way he would miss it when he said he wouldn’t, right? He had to be here. He had to have seen her sing her solo, right?
When the performance ended and certificates were being given out she received an outstanding achievement award for being so bold and taking the solo while also executing it well. She was her father’s daughter after all. Being a singer was in her blood, yet the very blood that ran through her veins refused to show up.
Haein smiled brightly at you as you recorded her for Hongjoong to at least see later, and your daughter bounded over to you to proudly show off her award. “Amma, where’s appa?” she whispered into your ear as to not disturb the other awards being announced.
“Something came up for appa, baby, he couldn’t make it, I’m sorry…” Haein’s mouth dropped in disbelief. Her little body turned hot with embarrassment and angry disappointment, lip wobbling and I frowned as I pulled her into my chest. “I know, baby, you were so excited to show him your first solo,” You whispered, kissing the top of her head, “He’ll see it on the video.”
“It’s not the same,” she said, muffled into your shirt, “I want to go home.” “You don’t want to say bye to all your friends before we leave? It’s only a little longer.” You felt her sniffle and release a small sob into you before you picked her up, listening to her wish immediately. She wrapped her arms around your neck and hid her face as her body wracked with sobs. She was only four years old. She didn’t want to be upset, but she couldn’t help it. Her father had never disappointed her so badly before.
You waved goodbye to her teacher who looked at you sympathetically before taking Haein to the car, strapping her in. “Do you want to get ice cream or teokbokki before we go home? You did so well, today, you know. We have to celebrate a little bit.” “It doesn’t matter,” she mumbled, “Because appa didn’t see.”
“But I saw it, my love.” “You always see,” she sniffed before her face scrunched up in a cry again, “But appa never sees!” You had to bite your own lip to keep yourself from crying as you watched your precious child sob over your husband’s lie. “Okay, then we’re going to go home and eat chicken nuggets and watch your favorite princess movie, okay? Then when daddy comes home, you can sing your solo again for him, and then I’ll show him the video, and he’ll be so sad that he missed it, so he’ll never miss another one again. Okay? Can we do that?”
She pouted, still sniffling, but nodded. You smiled, kissing her head before closing the car door and getting into the driver’s seat. You drove home with determination to make your daughter’s night better after that colossal disappointment, but found that by the time you got home, she was fast asleep in her car seat. You sighed, looking at her now peaceful form. This was better than seeing her cry, at least. You took her inside, changed her clothes, and put her to bed promptly so that she could get a comfortable night’s rest before going downstairs to wait for Hongjoong.
It was 3am when Hongjoong came home. He saw the lights on downstairs and swallowed nervously. He hated this. He hated feeling scared to come home. He wanted to come home to a loving and comforting family, not this. He didn’t want to come home just to be treated like he wasn’t welcomed. He opened the door, peeking in to assess the severity of the situation, before breathing a sigh of relief when he found you sleeping on the recliner.
Guilt gnawed at his heart as he considered leaving you there and sneaking upstairs to sleep alone so that he wouldn’t have to confront you, but decided against it. Not only would you be doubly mad at him from trying to evade you, but he didn’t want your neck to hurt. He moved closer to you, intending to wake you up, but found that you were already awake, eyes fluttering open to look at him.
The disappointment swirling in your eyes choked him. You two looked at each other silently before you spoke, “Why did you lie to her?”
“I- You wouldn’t stop asking… I just… wanted you to stop, so I said what you wanted to hear.” “You never said you couldn’t make it. You said you didn’t know. I just wanted to tell her the right thing. I wasn’t pressuring you to come.” “Well, it felt like you were.”
The silence was thick. “She was so happy,” you said, “When she was singing, she was singing thinking that you were hearing it. She was so happy that you’d see her very first solo… and then you missed it. It would have been better if you hadn’t gotten her hopes up so high, because when she found out that you weren’t there, she cried so hard that we had to leave immediately.”
Hongjoong looked down at the floor in shame. “Appa never sees,” you repeated her words from earlier, “That’s what she said to me.”
“She’s- she’s just a baby,” Hongjoong sighed, “She’ll get over these things. It’s like how she cried her eyes out when you got her ears pierced. It hurts to see her crying, but she got over it and forgot about it entirely after an hour.”
“That was when she was not even a year old, Hongjoong. She’s four, now,” you said, trying not to snap, “I will not let my daughter settle for anything less than you in a man one day, but if you’re already setting her up for disappointment, then it’s almost like she’s doomed to that!”
“She’s four, y/n!” He said, getting angry, “Don’t you think you’re thinking too far ahead.”
“Every moment that she has the ability to think until she’s at least 16 years old is a moment that will affect her for the rest of her life whether she remembers it or not, especially coming from us,” you finally sneered, not being able to keep the hostility out of your voice, “She had an amazing, amazing night, Hongjoong. She sang so beautifully, so fucking beautifully, and she got an award for volunteering to solo. She got an award and everyone clapped for her. This would have been the best night of her little life so far if you had been there… but because you weren’t there when you said you would be, it became the worst. It went from a happy moment that she’d probably forget to a horrible moment that she’ll probably remember.”
Hongjoong sighed in frustration, “Why are you so mad at me?” You looked up at him sharply because of his unfamiliar tone. “There are worse fathers out there. Some fathers abandon their children entirely and don’t support them at all. Some children don’t even know their fathers! Some fathers barely spend time with their children and their children understand and still become good people! Why- why are we worrying about Haein so much!? You’re still there, so she’s learning from you!”
You looked at him in disbelief, “Do you really want Haein to remember your as just a little better than a deadbeat? Why are you even making that comparison? Do you not want to be in her life?” “Of course I do! Y/n, I still live here, I still see her and tell her I love her when I’m here! I’m here! Why can’t that be enough?!”
“Being a parent is more than just being in the room, Hongjoong,” you scoffed, “You have to raise her. You have to set up her expectations for life. The way your treat her will determine the way she treats others and expects them to treat her!”
“You promised me when we got married that you would never make me choose!” Hongjoong suddenly raised his voice. You looked at him startled, glancing between him and Haein’s bedroom, but not saying anything, “You promised me I wouldn’t have to sacrifice my career, that I was allowed to prioritize it, so why are you punishing me when you promised you wouldn’t?”
“Hongjoong-” “I have work every day, y/n! There’s not a moment when I don’t think of working, and when I’m not working I have to eat and sleep because I have to live, too! This is suffocating me, you’re suffocating me! I was scared to come home because I was worried that you’d get angry at me! Aren’t you ashamed of that?!”
You couldn’t believe that he was turning this around on you. He was scared to come home?? “I have never given you a reason to be scared. If you were scared, Hongjoong, it means you know you fucked up and that I’d rightfully be upset that our daughter cried because of you.”
“Kids cry all the time, y/n,” Hongjoong scoffed, “You’re making a big deal out of this just to hurt me, to take me away from my career!” “Hongjoong, why the fuck would you think that-” “You’ve been looking for an excuse, I already know. This was just the perfect reason for you to finally blow up on me, to guilt-trip me into sacrificing more than I already have. I risked everything to be with you, y/n. This is my dream, and it has always been my dream, why are you making me choose!? Why can’t you just be happy?!”
“It has nothing to do with me, Hongjoong, it’s about Hae-” “I swear, if I hadn’t gotten married, I wouldn’t have had to lose my career!” He almost screamed, and y/n felt her heart break in her chest and fall to her stomach. Suddenly her blood was cold and perhaps she was trembling? She felt like she was, but she didn’t know. You attempted to remain calm, sucking in a breath that almost sounded wet. Your emotions rose to your chest, but you refused to release it. You refused to be the bad guy.
As soon as Hongjoong said it, he realized the magnitude of his words, and immediately went to correct it, but she cut him off. “Y/n-”
“You better lower your voice, right now. My daughter is sleeping.”
Hongjoong fixated on the word choice, sucking in a sharp breath. “My daughter.” Your daughter. Not “our daughter”.
“Y/n, I didn’t mean-” “I promised you when we got married that I’d never make you choose between me and your career, and I never once have. You have always made the decision to come home and treat me for valentines day or my birthday, and I don’t even make you come home on your birthday. I have been happily patient since the day we started dating until now.”
Your voice was cold, and Hongjoong knew he’d fucked up big time. “But you said you wanted this child, Hongjoong. Four years ago when I told you I was worried that you wouldn’t be able to juggle your career and raising a child, you said that you wanted nothing more than to have a family with me. That nothing would make you happier than to raise a child with me, not just have one,” you said, and then scoffed, “Maybe you weren’t thinking when you said that. I don’t think you realize that Haein is not just an extension of me. We are both a part of Haein. Haein is your daughter just as much as she is mine, and she never promised you to be patient. You promised her that the moment you decided that you wanted to be a father. She owes us, she owes you, absolutely nothing.”
Hongjoong was quiet. You were right, of course. He hadn’t thought about that. Of course he loved Haein. She was his daughter, his precious treasure, but you were spot on. Ever since he’d gotten married, he separated his life with you from his work life which he prioritized, and when Haein was born, he just lumped her in with you. But Haein was an entirely knew priority, separate from you, and he was stupid for blaming you for anything.
“I’m sorry that you regret marrying me, but the fact of the matter is that the moment Haein was born, your priority couldn’t be your job anymore. I understand that this is your dream, and I have never once wanted to make you choose, and I’m sad that you feel like you can’t have your dream and your daughter at the same time,” You said, shaking your head.
“No, of course I don’t regret marrying you, don’t say that!” Hongjoong panicked. “I never want you to think that-” “It doesn’t matter if I believe it or not, the fact is that you did,” you said through gritted teeth, “So I am going to make it easier for you, okay?”
“What-?” “I will continue to be patient with you, Hongjoong, but from now on, you cannot lie to her, that’s the first thing.” “Of course, never again, I’m sorry-” “Secondly, I know you have very little time to spend with your family, so when you come back, however unoften it may be, you will spend all your time with her.”
Hongjoong’s eyes softened pathetically as he reached out for his wife, “Y/n… I- I’m sorry. Seriously, I wasn’t trying to punish you, so don’t punish yourself because I’m a jackass-” “It’s more of a punishment for Haein if you spend most of your limited time with just me instead of her. I grew up with a wonderful father, and even if it’s not even half of the relationship I had with him, her relationship with you should be as fulfilling as it possibly can be.”
Hongjoong let out a tear, “Y/n…” “You want to talk about sacrifices? I’ll never make you sacrifice your career,” she said, coming closer to him to hold her hands in his face, “But every time you have the opportunity to come home, you spend every waking and sleeping minute with her. Every function you can feasibly attend, you will attend, and every holiday you come home to spend with me should solely be spent on her. I’m not as important as she is. She’s growing up. These are the years that she will remember, and we owe it to her to make sure that they’re good ones, okay?”
“Y/n… please, I’m sorry. I’ll cut hours from work, I’ll be home more, so please don’t make me do that…”
“I’ll still be taking care of you Hongjoong. You never have to worry about that,” she said, though she wasn’t smiling. The things he had said had already cut her deeply, and it wasn’t going to go away easily. With the conditions she was giving him, he wouldn’t be able to make it up to her easily either.
“But I-, y/n-” “Right now, I want you to go sleep in Haein’s room, okay?” she spoke softly, “If she wakes up, tell her how sorry you are and make sure you tell her you’ll never lie again.”
Hongjoong hugged y/n tightly, tears falling from his eyes. He regretted everything negative he’d said tonight and thought in the last few years. Y/n was working so hard, and he refused to realize it.
Did Hongjoong even know what her dreams had been? Had he ever asked? Remorse welled up inside him, and his heart shattered when she pulled away to give him her own broken smile, “You should wash up and see Haein. Stay with her as long as you can.”
Hongjoong nodded solemnly, going to their bathroom to wash up. He couldn’t say anything else. He was the one who screwed up by thinking he was sacrificing more than he was, and in the end it was his own wife that he would have to sacrifice.
When he was clean, he made his way to his daughter’s bedroom. She slept soundly, but he could see the tear tracks that remained on her cheeks, further breaking his heart. He really was shitty for thinking that this little human sleeping in front of him wasn’t as important as his career. His heart ached, and he longed to hear the solo she had apparently worked so hard to prepare for him to hear. That would have been better than listening to Mingi screech in disappointment every time his voice cracked in the studio.
He lifted the covers, getting into bed with his daughter. He pulled her to his chest, wrapping his arms around her as tightly as he could without hurting her, making her stirr. “Appa?” she said softly.
“Hi, baby,” he sniffed, trying not to cry, “Did I wake you up?” “Mmm-mmm,” she hummed, snuggling closer into his chest, “I missed you.” Hongjoong had to but his tongue in order not to sob. “I missed you, too, treasure,” he breathed, “I’m sorry I didn’t come today. I wish I could have heard you sing. I bet you sang so beautiful and everyone clapped really loud.”
“They did!” she giggled tiredly, “It’s okay, I can sing for you tomorrow.”
“Promise?” he asked, his lips pressed into her hair, and she nodded, “I’ll sing you the song and then whatever songs you want. I’ve been… practicing… you… know…?” She fell asleep mid sentence and Hongjoong chuckled. He pressed light kisses to her cheek before letting out a breath of relief. It was as if all his worries vanished with her. How could he have ever thought that indulging in this was a sacrifice? His whole world was in his arms at this moment, and he realized that he would throw away everything else just to feel like this forever.
He regretted speaking to his wife the way he had. He hadn’t allowed himself to indulge in his family properly before, so he didn’t realize how sweet it tasted to just hold his daughter close. The only thing that would have made this moment better was if his wife was with him.
Him spending time with Haein didn’t mean that you couldn’t spend that time with them, too, both of you were aware, but understandably, you couldn’t face him right now.
“I swear, if I hadn’t gotten married, I wouldn’t have had to lose my career!”
The words replayed in her head over and over. She sobbed in the shower, and when she went to bed, she covered her mouth as her tears soaked her pillow. So that was how Hongjoong had been feeling. She had never felt worse in her life than in that moment. Perhaps it would have been better to reject his proposal, but you could only scoff to yourself.
He wanted to marry you, he wanted to have a child, and in the end he blamed you for all of it. Maybe he realized that his life with you wasn’t worth his life as an idol, but now that you had Haein, you wouldn’t let him get away easily. You didn’t care if he hurt you, but if he hurt Haein, she’d ruin him.
But for now, he’d ruined her.
#ateez x reader#ateez imagines#ateez#atz#ateez fluff#ateez angst#hongjoong x reader#kim hongjoong x reader#hongjoong angst#ateez x reader angst#hongjoong x reader angst#kim hongjoong x reader angst#ateez fanfiction#ateez fanfic#ateez fic
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thought you were made for me
pairing: brother’s bsf!Joost Klein x fem!reader
warnings: mentions of drugs and alcohol
word count: 2.4k
a/n: this is my first fic so please be nice. I didn’t really expect to write more than 500 words lmao. Also, this isn’t proofread sorry. I plan on writing a part 2 for this.
It had already been a long and tough week. With just finishing the last of your final exams the week prior. Each exam felt like it took years off of your life. And the week itself felt as though it would never end. Not even mentioning the multiple all-nighters you pulled to study before. But when it was finally over you were beyond ecstatic. And now you got to finally be at home and relax.
It was relatively quiet morning. You had decided to stay in the comfort of your blanket for a while longer before deciding to head down to the kitchen. There you were greeted by your brother Ethan and his best friend Joost. They were making breakfast. Well, it was just your brother cooking and Joost waiting patiently. Ever since Joost finished touring, he’d been spending a lot of time at your house. Spending multiple nights in your guest room. Your parents never really minded because he was nice and respectful. Usually, they’re in your brother’s room playing video games or out doing something. You never really got the chance to see him a lot since you were off to college. But you were hoping that would change now that you were home.
“Good morning.” Joost smiled softly. Ethan turned away from the stove briefly to tell you good morning and offered you breakfast. You nodded and turned back Joost. He was sipping a cup coffee and the steam was slightly fogging up his glasses. He took them off and set them on the counter beside him.
“Good morning Joost.” You returned the smile. He moved next to you from where he was standing.
“And how are you this morning?” he asked in a low tone. His voice was still laced with sleep.
“I’m good. Just glad to be back home. How are you this morning.” You looked up at him and through tired eyes.
“Better now,” he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. It caught you off guard. Was he flirting with you? Before you can finish that thought your brother hands you both a plate of food. You thanked him and they walk out of the kitchen to the dining room. Leaving you to your thoughts.
—
Later on that day, you called your best friends. They discussed with you their plans with their newfound freedom. You were shocked at their ideas. Party here and bar hop there. You thought they were just as exhausted as you. The idea of getting wasted as a celebration wasn’t your favorite idea. You just wanted to catch up on sleep.
“But we’ve been doing nothing but staying in our dorms for finals. We NEED to go out,” she stated.
“I know. I know. But maybe we could do something a bit more laid back. Like the movies or that festival that’s in town.” I practically pleaded with them. But it was no use. They weren’t changing their minds, and I was outvoted two to one. The conversation shifted back to their ideas for celebration for the next few days.
After agreeing to meet up this weekend, you said your goodbyes to your friends and hung up the phone. But quickly after your brother texts you.
hey Joost has a concert tonight. i have an extra ticket. wanna go with me?
You thought about it for a good moment. You just wanted to get some extra sleep tonight, but on the other hand, you haven’t spent much time with your brother since you left for college. And now is a better time than ever to make up for lost time. Also, you just wanted another excuse to see Joost.
ofc sounds like fun
it’s tonight at 8. i’ll pick you up at 7
You texted him “okay” before setting your phone back down, and finished making yourself lunch.
—
As leaned over the sink, you checked your makeup one last time in the mirror. You used your nail to fix your lipstick. You stepped back to look over your overall outfit and decided you were happy with the outcome. You sprayed a bit of your favorite perfume on yourself. Checking the time you realized you were ready a bit early, so you sat in your living room. You started scrolling through Instagram as you waited. Then a notification popped up in your phone.
hey i’m outside.
You quickly checked your appearance once last time in a nearby mirror and checked your purse to make sure you had everything. When you felt satisfied with everything you grabbed your keys and left the house.
The ride to the venue was relatively smooth. You talked about what you’d miss in each other’s lives. He explained to you how he just found a new job as a bartender at a new bar downtown. He also told you how he was saving up for a new place. You told him that you were really happy for him. When he asked about you, you told him about how you just finished up finals week and now you finally have time off. He gave you a small chuckle and congratulated you.
—
The outdoor venue was packed that night and people were trying to rush to the front. You’re glad your brother was there as he kept a secure grip on you and was able to push you both to the barricades near the stage. It was extremely humid that night with a faint smell of weed and cigarette smoke clogging the air.
The lights dimmed slightly and you heard a beat starting to play over the speakers. You could feel the anticipation from the crowd and it made you even more excited as you leaned forward on the barricade. Then Joost ran on stage. Blue flashing lights engulfed him as he started performing and the crowd, including yourself, began jumping to the beat.
Once the energy died down slightly, you were able to take him in. His outfit was really simple tonight. He was in a white dress shirt with his sleeves rolled up giving us a glimpse at the tattoos that littered his arms, a pair of baggy jeans, and his black thick-rimmed glasses that were fogging up every so often. Something was enticing about him and you couldn’t keep your eyes off of him.
You had never heard his music before, but that didn’t stop you from letting loose. Everyone around you on the other hand, including your brother, is yelling the lyrics word for word. Joost takes notice of this and walks further downstage towards your brother, acknowledging him and smiling. Now you were able to get a good look at his face. He is even prettier up close you thought to yourself. Then he looks over to you, holding eye contact for just a split second before giving you a wink and continuing his performance. You were in utter disbelief at the encounter. You honestly thought you had imagined it. You were pulled back to reality when the loud beat of the next song started pouring into your ears.
—
“Did you enjoy the concert?” your brother asked as you both walked to his car. You were still feeling the buzz of the concert. It felt like the night shouldn’t end here. Maybe because you wanted to see Joost again.
“Yes, I did! His music is so good. I had an amazing time.” You left out the part about him winking at you, but you felt that you should keep that bit of information to yourself.
“Well, I’m glad that you had a good time.” His phone chimed with a notification. As he checked it you decided to check your phone. Your friends were blowing up your phone about the concert. They loved Joost so they wanted to know how it went. As you texted them back, your brother spoke.
“Hey, Joost is having a little after-party at a club nearby. He’s asking if the both of us wanted to go.“ You considered it for a moment. You did want to see him again. But when you did what would you say? Maybe he does this to all of his fans. Your brother senses your indecisiveness and tries to help.
“You don’t have to go. I would understand. I mean you’re not close to him. I just asked because he said he wanted to see you.” You were surprised at his request.
“No. I want to. I would love to go.” You stated as you gave him a reassuring smile. He nodded as he started the car towards the new destination.
—
Your eyes scan over the scene. A DJ was blasting music over the speakers, but it was more near the dance floor. The place was dim with small, warm lights keeping tables and the lit. You follow your brother as he leads you to a table that seats a few guys. When you got close enough you realized it was Joost and who you assumed were a few of his friends. He loudly acknowledged your brother as they shared an embrace. They share a few words before he sees you.
“Hey. I’m glad you came.” he hugged you and you embraced him back. He smelled faintly of cigarette smoke, but it didn’t bother you. You liked it. You both lingered for what was probably a moment too long before he let go. You looked over to your brother and saw that he went to talk to the other guys at the table. Leaving you with Joost.
His eyes slowly scanned over you as he took in your appearance. Once his eyes reached yours, you noticed a different look in his eyes. Almost like hunger. Being under his gaze almost made you feel nervous.
“Come sit with me and let me pour you a drink.” He didn’t give you much of a choice as he grabbed your wrist lightly, his fingers brushing against your palm. He guided you to sit with him in the booth. He pulled you close enough to the point that your thighs were touching. You liked around and realized it was just the two. You scan the place and see your brother and his other friends have run off to the bar. Probably to do shots you thought to yourself.
You focused your attention back to Joost who was carefully pouring you both a drink. Though it was hard to see, a small dim light slightly lit up his face allowing you to still see his face. His hair was even messier than it was at the concert but he still looked amazing. You notice his strikingly delicate features and his captivating eyes that seem to sparkle under the light. Your eyes then trace down his arms and you take note of the tattoos that are there.
“Here.” He pulls you out of your trance by handing you a glass with brown liquor in it. You take the glass from him, your finger faintly brushing his. You didn’t drink much and when you did it was mainly vodka. Nonetheless, you drank it anyway. He watched as you took a sip and smiled when you seemed to enjoy it. He drank some of his own before turning to you.
“Did you enjoy tonight’s show?” He leaned in closer making sure you heard his question.
“Yes, I did. Your music is really good. I wish I had discovered your music sooner.” Even with how dark it is you notice the smile he gave you.
“I'm happy you had a good time. You know I know we don’t know each other that well, but I would love for us to get closer.” Once again he leaned in, but this time it was in your ear. His warm breath against your ear sent goosebumps across your skin. As he leaned back to look at you, he stopped just inches away from your face. You can faintly feel his breath against your lips. You swear can see his eyes glance at your lips for a second before looking back into your eyes. His expression changed again into what you saw when he first greeted you. Hunger. His eyes were focused on yours and it made you nervous. The air suddenly changed. It felt more thicker and warmer.
“Let’s go dance.” He offered his hand as he slid out of the booth. You smiled and took his hand. He guided you to the crowd on the dance floor and pushed you both near the center. There was a dark blue light that engulfed everyone. The beat took over you as you started dancing. You let your hips away to the rhythm. You felt Joost’s hands find their way to your waist, and he pulled you closer to him.
You continue to dance against him, grinding on him. His hands started to explore your body as they found themselves on your hips, and then slowly went down to the hem of your short skirt. His fingers found their way under and he started to rub the soft skin. His head found its way closer to the crook of your neck. You feel his warm breath on your collarbone as he speaks.
“Ik heb je nodig (I need you)” He breathes into your neck and it sends shivers down your spine. With the light grip he has on you, he turns around so now you’re facing him. You wrap your arms around his neck pulling him closer to you. Your faces are inches away from each other. The air around you is hot and thick. You look into his eyes and see the same familiar look as before. Even under the lights, you can see his pupils blown with lust.
You don’t know if it was the alcohol but you felt bold. So you pulled him into a kiss which he happily accepted. His hands moved from the hem of your skirt up to the curve of your ass where he squeezed lightly. The kiss became more intense as you both realized how hungry you were. Your hands found their way to his hair and you pulled gently at the white locks. He pulled away only to say something.
“We should take this somewhere else.” He suggested between pants. You nod quickly. He takes your hand and guides you off the dance floor. Your head was buzzing and you felt as though you were caught in a haze. He leads you back to the table and you see your brother and some of his friends there with a few girls. Joost let go of your hand only for a moment when telling your brother that you were both leaving early. He told him you weren’t feeling good. Surprisingly he wasn’t suspicious of anything and only told you both to drive safe. With that, you and Joost make your way to his car. You both get settled in before he looks over at you.
“My place or yours liefje (sweetheart)”
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civil twilight (buck/tommy)
For @dadvans, who is a dirty enabler whenever I start having ideas and thoughts. Del, here are your damn bucktommy wedding vows, are you happy now?? 🩷
+
With a smile, Bobby looks out at the congregation—one hundred and fifty people squeezed onto the Ceremony Deck of the 1909, including what appears to be every first responder Buck has ever met—and announces, “I’m happy to say we’ve come to the part of the ceremony that Buck and Tommy have been looking forward to the most. They’ve prepared a little something for each other to be shared for the very first time today. What they say now will sanctify this moment now and forever.”
Excitement and anticipation chase each other under Buck’s skin like dogs, and he can’t help but bounce a little on his toes, which are pinched like hell in the shoes Maddie made him buy.
It took him almost a month to comb through the rolodex of his life—taking out cards from between color-coded dividers organized by year and studying each one to remind himself of exactly how he got to this point—to find the right words. He thought about them every second of every day. He filled his notes app to the point they made him pay for extra storage. He fought a five-alarm warehouse fire alongside almost twenty other companies and spent the entire time rearranging sentences in his head.
There were nights he lay curled against Tommy’s back and practiced for hours against the heat of his skin—soundlessly, of course, although with the way Tommy snores after a double shift it’s not like he would’ve been heard—until he was satisfied.
But the thought of Tommy doing the same makes Buck a little crazy. Did Tommy scribble half-baked thoughts on the back of a Pizzeria Sei receipt, or did he watch Love, Actually for the two hundredth time and take notes while Colin Firth gave a speech to a very confused town, or did he crowdsource ideas from the yahoos over at Harbor? Knowing Tommy, he just started spitballing at the horizon from a thousand feet above the city and got it on the first try.
Buck’s been vibrating in place for months thinking about this exact moment, and now that it’s finally here he’s going to explode all over all their guests before he even gets to say “I do.”
“Buck? Tommy?” Bobby’s voice is warm, like he knows exactly how much oxygen is feeding the fire in Evan’s belly. “Take each other’s hands and hold on tight.”
Before Bobby’s even finished talking, Tommy’s already stepping forward and reaching for Buck, which is good because Buck’s already reaching for him, too. Their hands come together with the ease of automatic doors in a department store, sliding to meet like they were made for nothing else. Their fingers tangle and lock, and Buck is thrilled to find neither of their palms are sweaty. Tommy’s smiling so hard his nose looks like it’s about to scrunch its way into his hairline, and Buck’s moved so close he’s practically stepping on Tommy’s feet. They meet in a very narrow middle.
“Buck."
He closes his eyes and presses his lips together to keep the fireworks in his belly from erupting out of his mouth and incinerating the entire canopy. From where he's standing behind Buck, Eddie taps him twice on the shoulder with his fist as if to say, we were all forced to listen to you talk about this for half a year; you've got this, but also don't screw it up.
“You’re up first.”
Drawing in a trembling breath, Buck reaches deep down into the little gilded space where he’s been keeping the words safe all this time. He holds them for a moment, traces the familiar edges of them, and hopes every person on the deck right now is going to be able to hear him. He wants them to know.
Tommy squeezes his hand gently, and Buck looks at him, at the shape of his smile that Buck could draw with his eyes closed. It's suddenly so easy to open his mouth.
"My first real memory is of going with Maddie to the park down the street from our house so we could watch the sunset. I sat on a swing and stared at the sky until it got dark, and even then I couldn't tear my eyes away. Maddie said it looked like I was searching for something."
Like every other time Buck's brought up some random story from when he was a dumbass kid, Tommy's lips roll inward. The first time it happened, he thought Tommy was trying not to laugh at him and he wanted to crawl under a rock like a bug to escape the threat of being completely crushed. But then Tommy admitted to being so charmed by Buck's story that he had to hide the sheer goofiness of his smile so Buck didn't think he was a total psycho. It's true. When Tommy lets that particular brand of smile out, he looks like a serial killer, so whenever Buck sees the inward lip roll, he knows he's one spate of cute aggression away from being turned into a human coat rack. It's awesome.
"It wasn't until I started writing this and looked back on my life that I realized how often I did it. No matter where I was, who I was with, or what I was doing, I'd end the day with my eyes on the sky. It sort of felt like something was going to come swooping out of the clouds just for me and I didn't want to miss it when it did. I didn't really think about it until after the first time I met you, because I didn't have a chance to look at the sky that night—you took me straight there instead. I haven't come back down since."
The tail end of the sentence grows soft and tight, and his eyes grow wet and hot. Which isn't a surprise. He hasn't made it through a single practice run of this part without his taps going on. He clears his throat and squeezes Tommy's hands tightly, reassured by the strength of them, in the firmness of the grip.
Mortified and elated, he blinks so the tears fall. Tommy sucks in a breath, then distangles his left hand from Evan's right so he can reach up to thumb them away.
"Turns out Maddie was right," he says, smiling wide and pressing into the touch. "I didn't know it, but all that time I was searching for you."
Tommy presses his lips together, but it isn't to hide a smile—it's to hide the way his mouth is trembling and he's doing a shit job of it. Buck chokes a little on a wet laugh. His chest feels sweetly sore, like a pressing on a bruise.
"That was beautiful," Bobby says. He's looking at Buck in the way that always makes him wonder at just how incredible his life would've been if he'd been Buck's dad from the get go. Which is probably a mean thing to do right now, considering his actual father is sitting in the second row, but if Bobby weren't officiating the ceremony he'd be sitting in the first, and that really says everything.
Beaming, Bobby turns to Tommy and inclines his head. "Your turn, Tommy."
Anticipation sings in Buck's chest, and when Tommy meets his gaze, his eyes bright and clear like an autumn sky over the San Bernardino mountains, it lights the fuse on a whole new batch of fireworks under his skin. He inhales shakily and gives him what he hopes is an encouraging smile.
Tommy's expression evens out, but sweetness still lurks at the corner of his mouth.
"Evan."
Buck's eyes flutter a little. It's amazing to think he used to hate the sound of that name. When Tommy says it, it feels like sunlight.
"I spent most of my life afraid," Tommy begins. His voice is steady. "I grew up thinking I was made wrong, and I cut off pieces of myself to try and fit in where I thought I was supposed to belong. I tried finding peace in the sky, but all that emptiness did was remind me of how alone I was."
Heart pounding, Buck squeezes Tommy's hands so tightly he thinks they might meld together.
"You know, I owe the 118 a lot. They helped me become a better teammate, a better friend… a better person. But there's no way I can ever repay them for how they changed me by bringing you into my life."
After all the time he spent thinking about Tommy simply writing his vows, it somehow never registered that he would actually have to say them out loud. In front of all their family and friends. That he'd be cracking open his chest and showing what's inside to the whole world as proof of his devotion. That he'd willingly do it for Buck simply because he loves him and wants to love him for the rest of their lives.
"Evan, from the moment I met you, you've shown me what it is to be brave. You've taught me how there's courage in loving with your whole heart and living your entire truth."
There is no way in hell he's going to be able to stand here and listen to this without gnawing on the deck railing or launching himself at Tommy to put his mouth on his bare skin. How do people do this without being charged with a misdemeanor?
"You found the pieces of me I thought were gone forever and put them back together differently. Better. You helped me make someone who isn't afraid of anything. I know we tease you about going The Full Buck, but because of you, because I know you're next to me ready to face anything that comes—" His voice breaks. "—I'm brave enough to go The Full Tommy."
Buck can barely see him through the tears that won't stop welling and falling, and if they were anywhere else, he'd wrap himself around Tommy like a snake and squeeze him until the storm passed, but because he's bound by dumb things like decorum and obscenity laws, Buck can only keep hold of his hands and try to transfer every ounce of love and comfort in his body to Tommy's by way of their tangled fingers.
Then, suddenly, a shit-eating grin splits the gentle and earnest expression on Tommy's face, and he feels a bit like a bird right before it's sucked into a jet engine. Warning bells go off in the back of Buck's mind.
"Evan," Tommy says, with the gravity of someone about to drop an atomic bomb, "you are the best ally I could've ever asked for."
The ugly, snotty laugh that punches its way out of Buck would earn him the respect of even the grubbiest of Jee-Yun's daycare friends, and he finally throws decorum out the window so he can step forward and bury his face in Tommy's shoulder. Between his tears and the spit he's horking from laughter, the suit fabric is definitely ruined.
"I love you so much," he wheezes. "I'd maim a thousand best friends for you."
He can't see Eddie's face, but he knows exactly what it's doing and it only makes him laugh harder. Tommy presses one of his high, incredulous laughs into Buck's hair, followed by a firm kiss to the crown of his head.
"What do you say?" Tommy pulls back a little, but he looks so proud of himself. He looks proud. "Should we finish getting married or what?"
Buck sticks the tip of his tongue between his teeth teasingly. "Or what?"
"Or I go home and order pizza," Chim pipes up from the front row to a smattering of laughter. On his left, Hen drops her face into her hands, but her shoulders are shaking. On his right, Maddie smacks him on the arm like she's mortified, but she's grinning too hard to really sell it. It looks like she's crying just as hard as Buck is.
"All right, all right," Bobby says, ever the voice of calm and reason, but he's very clearly fighting laughter, too. "Why don't we finish this up?"
"You ever get tired of herding cats, Cap?" Eddie asks, a grin in his voice.
"Never," Bobby says. He lifts his brows pointedly at Buck. "Are you ready?"
Buck turns back to Tommy, and in the curve of his smile he sees the same glowing possibility that he's seen in ten thousand different sunsets, and his entire body clenches with the exhilarating and terrifying feeling of something's coming for me and I can't miss it.
Heart pounding, he grins and holds his hands out again. They're immediately enfolded into Tommy's, like there was never a question about where they should go.
He glances up through the canopy to glimpse the pockmarks of blue between the trees, but there's nothing coming for him. When he looks back down and meets Tommy's gaze, that hungry anticipation settles into warm fullness. He can call off the search; it's finally here.
Buck smiles wide enough to encompass the sky. "I've been ready, Cap. Let's do this."
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The Box | Part Two [Boxerry]
Y/N and Harry find themselves on the run from the same people that killed Sam, and Y/N isn't sure how much more of this she can take.
A/N: this is the final part of the series, still mad that it wouldn’t let me post it as one big fic but it is what it is. I’m working super hard on some new things for you guys and I’m excited to share them when they’re ready… but I do have a couple more old exclusive pieces I might share first :)
Warnings: (in no particular order) mentions of death/loss of a sibling and grandparent, mentions of miscarriage, unsupportive parents, swearing, brief descriptions of illegal fighting, money laundering, use of weapons, brief mentions of alcohol, mentions of anxiety, schizophrenia and multiple personality disorder, smut; kissing, teasing, dirty talk, fingering, protected sex, oral (both receiving/69)
WC: 14.8k
//
“Y/N, you forgot to sign off on meds.”
With a very tired sigh, Y/N huffs to herself. She’s been like this all day, messing up here and there, forgetting things she wouldn’t ever usually forget. But that’s what happens when Y/N gets in her head. She makes mistakes and finds it difficult to think straight.
She wouldn’t have this problem if she didn’t sleep with Harry. If he didn’t sneak out while she slept like she had told him to. But alas, here she is, unable to think about anything else other than the dull ache between her thighs where she craves him the most.
She probably wouldn’t be this pent up if they spoke about it — or spoke at all in general. But they haven’t, not really. In the last two days, they’ve shared a total of six texts between them, and she doesn’t even have to look at her phone to remind herself of what they say.
Harry: I left while you were sleeping, thought it would be best that way x
Y/N: yeah, I get it x
Y/N: I won’t be able to come to the club until Wednesday if that’s ok. Working late the next two days
Harry: no stress, come whenever u can x
Y/N: just to make you aware, Mary has started new medication for her diabetes x
Harry: cool, thank you x
The small conversation had been spread over 48 hours and Y/N isn’t sure how to feel about that. Is that a hint that she should take? That he’s not interested in it happening again, even though they alluded to another time when they were together?
It’s the unknown that’s had her so worked up today. So much so that even now, fixing her mistake on the medication sheet, she somehow almost signs the wrong name off.
Handing the pen back to Cynthia, Y/N finally grabs her bag and zips up her jacket to leave work. She doesn’t waste a second before opening the door and allowing the biting chill of the night's air to nip at the skin of her face.
The idea of a steaming hot bath and a glass of white wine sits heavy in her mind as she makes for the car park, tries to think of the best way she can take her mind off Harry this evening.
She supposes she could catch up with one of her shows, maybe even start the book she bought last week and still hasn’t got round to opening.
A book, bath and a glass of wine is what she decides on — she might even be cheeky and order food in or pick something up on the way home.
It’s only a few more steps to her car when she hears an engine turn on a few spaces from her. Headlights light up the dark, illuminating her way slightly and she squints.
The late shift ended two hours ago and no one else is finishing or starting shift at this time of the night. She wonders if it’s just someone who lives locally that’s using their parking lot, but the harder she looks, the more unnerved she feels.
Y/N recognises the three faces in the car — two in the front and one in the back. She remembers their intense gazes from the pub just a few nights ago; where Harry got extremely uptight about their presence — and now, they’re here, outside of her work, staring at her.
That familiar feeling of fear settles heavy in her stomach and as if out of impulse, she begins to slow her speed and sifts through her purse, appearing as though she’s searching for her keys.
She stops then, subtly pulls her phone out and turns around back toward the building of the care home, like she’s lost what she’s looking for. It’s when her back is completely toward the car and her feet slowly carry her back to the front door to not appear spooked, she’s dialling Harry’s number and bringing the phone to her ear.
It only rings once and then he answers.
“Hey,” his voice is light, happy. “I was just about to call you.”
“Harry, I need you to pick me up from work.” The panic in her voice stirs something worrisome in Harry’s gut and his once airy tone is diminished.
“Okay, I’m coming. What’s wrong, Penny? Are you okay?”
“Those guys from the pub the other night are here. They’re in a car right by mine and I’m scared. I don’t know what to fucking do!”
He’s swallowing down the bile that crawls up his throat, grabbing his keys from the table in the office as he stands.
“Are you in your car?”
“No, I was walking out of work when I noticed them.”
“Go back inside and meet me out the back. Do not leave the building until I text you.”
“Can you please stay on the phone with me?”
His heart clenches, hands balling into fists. He doesn’t say anything to anyone as he leaves the club, only a few of the guys training in the space.
“Yeah, just keep talking to me. How many guys are in the car?”
Y/N hears him start up his engine as she re-enters the building and rushes through the halls. “Three.”
Harry doesn’t have to ask what they look like to know who they are. The anger that consumes him begins to shake his body, red slowly blurring his vision and he hasn’t driven this fast since the night of Sammy’s death.
“Harry, who are they? Why did you get spooked at the pub when you saw them and why the fuck are they waiting outside my work?”
He doesn’t answer her. “I’ll be two minutes, just stay inside.”
She doesn’t like the way he dismisses her question, how she’s being left in the dark, purposefully. That fear begins to ache in her fingertips, heart racing against her ribcage and those familiar signs of a panic attack begin to make themselves apparent.
“Har… I can’t breathe. I’m freaking the fuck out.”
“Don’t,” he tells her, voice stern. “I’m coming around the corner. It’s gonna be fine…. I’m outside.”
She pushes through the back door quickly, eyes frantically searching for his Chevy when she finally spots his headlights. Harry flashes them at her, leaning over to open the passenger door and Y/N’s quick to get inside and lock it shut behind her.
The state she’s in makes Harry feel sick. Eyes like a deer in headlights, fear prominent in every feature. She turns to him with a wild look, swallowing thickly.
Harry reaches for her hand and gives her a reassuring squeeze before reversing out of the narrow road and turning back around.
“What the fuck is going on?”
He keeps his eyes fixed on the road, ignoring her question until she calls his name again, much sterner this time.
“Tell me what is going on.”
He looks at her briefly, dragging his eyes back to the road again. This is not how he wanted it to go. He didn’t want her caught up in this mess and he didn’t want to have to be the one to explain Sammy’s death. Much less under these circumstances.
“I’m going to take you back to my place and I’ll explain everything there, okay?”
Y/N shakes her head profusely, tearing her hand from Harry’s hold as the panic refuses to subside.
“No, that’s not okay. Harry, I can’t—“
“Penny! Stop. Do you trust me?”
She blinks at him. “What?”
“Do you trust me?” he repeats, accentuating every word.
It’s not something she needs to think about. Maybe it’s a bit crazy, a bit premature, but she does trust him. With her life.
She nods her head once. “I trust you.”
Her words sit a little heavy in Harry’s chest. She trusts him. The confirmation of it doesn’t relax him like he thought it would. Because Sam trusted him, and Harry was too late.
He’ll be damned if history repeats itself.
“Then trust when I say I’ll explain everything when we get home. You’re safe with me, and I need you to calm down.”
He knows it’s easier said than done but when he doesn’t hear Y/N complain, and he feels her relax into her seat the best she can, that heaviness sits a little lighter.
“Okay.”
The usual forty minute drive to Harry’s apartment takes just under twenty minutes. The roads are clear and Harry’s not ashamed to admit he stepped on the gas a little harder than usual.
To him, this isn’t a time to take a leisurely drive and admire the night's view. Because if this is anything like before, it’s life or death and Harry won’t allow the latter.
His flat is on the third floor of a fairly large complex. It’s stealth-like, how he guides her through the halls and into his flat. She takes it in for a few seconds. Clean, tidy, minimal.
Like he can up and leave at any given moment if necessary.
Harry throws his keys on the coffee table and rushes to the window, closing the blinds before wandering to the kitchen to do the same. A frown sits heavy between his brows and there’s something a bit erratic about him.
The composure she had just moments before is quickly dwindling and soon enough, she’s back to panicking again.
“Can you tell me what the fuck is going on now?”
Harry chews on the inside of his cheek, hands on his hips as he looks at her. Neither of them really take into consideration that this is the first time they’ve seen each other since they slept together.
And now is not a time to bring it up either.
Harry huffs. “Look, those guys are bad news. Mentally fucking insane, okay? They had it out for Sam and now they’re after you.”
Y/N stares at him, blinking her eyes wide. “Excuse me?”
He doesn’t want to tell her, can't stomach the idea of it, but Harry knows he doesn’t have a choice. He can’t keep her in the dark about her brother forever. And now that the same people are after her, she deserves to know the truth.
“Sam wasn’t always this great guy, Penny. He had a dark side and they were a part of it.”
The mention of her late brother makes her heart twist. Her chest begins to rattle as she tries to take in his words. To understand what he’s trying to get at.
“What are you trying to say?” She poses the question carefully, not wanting to read the situation wrong.
A look of softness flashes across Harry’s face as he takes a step closer. “Sammy’s death wasn’t an accident,” he begins, “Those guys ran him off the road and killed him.”
It’s all too much and everything starts caving in on her. Y/N can hardly breathe, can barely even see. There’s a drumming in her head that deafens her, a haze in her eyes that blinds her.
Her brother didn’t pass away. He was taken — his soul torn from his body before he was ready to go, and Y/N can’t stomach that. Can’t handle the truth of what Harry’s told her.
How is she supposed to live her life now? Knowing her brother was murdered. Knowing they are the reason for it.
“Why?” she cries through laboured breaths.
“Sam owed them money.”
“How much?”
There’s a pause, and then… “Thirty grand.”
She’s completely exasperated, struggling to comprehend anything he’s saying. Was thirty grand really worth his life?
“He was late in paying them,” Harry continues. “We had Feds on our backs watching the club and all of our transactions, we couldn’t risk it.”
Y/N looks at him, brows pinched tightly as she struggles to see through the onslaught of tears. “So he just refused?”
Harry shakes his head. “No, not at first. But then they uh… they went after this girl he’d been seeing—“
“—Amira?”
Harry nods. “They tried scaring her, to give Sam a message. They roughed her up — Penny…” he pauses, like he’s preparing himself to say what he needs to, and just when Y/N thinks it couldn’t get worse, it does, “She was pregnant. And she lost the baby because of it.”
Harry doesn’t give her time to properly process his words, figures it’ll be best to rip most of the bandaid off at once rather than in small increments.
“Sam lost his shit, told them that they’ll never see their money and that he was after them. One night, they showed up at the club and all Hell broke loose. They ran, we followed — Sam in one car and me in another.”
The way his voice begins to dwindle with every passing word makes Y/N’s stomach sink. Like she knows what he’s leading up to, that he’s about to divulge the traumatic truth of her brother's death.
She doesn’t want to know, doesn’t want to hear what will haunt her for the rest of her life. But her heart needs the truth — needs to understand what happened to him, needs revenge.
“Sam was always a better driver; faster,” he croaks, and he falls silent for a second or two until he speaks again with a broken voice. “I heard the sound the same time I turned the corner — his car had flipped and was wrapped around a telephone pole. And they were gone.”
Her heart is in her stomach, a numbing pain searing through her veins. Pain for Amira and their baby, pain for Sam, pain for herself. But with the pain comes anger. Anger toward the men that killed him. Anger toward the fact that Harry’s always had this knowledge of Sam’s death and didn’t say anything until now, when he felt he had to.
“You’ve known this whole time.”
There’s little to no emotion in her voice, and the blank expression in her eyes begins to unnerve Harry slightly.
“I’m sorry,” he apologises, “I didn’t know how to tell you.”
“So you just weren't going to tell me at all?”
Harry’s growing frustrated but he knows he has no right. He kept this secret from her, he chose to protect her from the truth and is only now realising the consequences of that decision.
“I’m sorry,” he repeats. “You can hate me all you want but right now, we need to get out of here.”
A slither of confusion cracks through that empty facade as she takes in the desperation of his voice. Like she’s only now just remembering the severity of the situation they’re in.
“What?”
“It’s a matter of time before they check your place, check mine and then riot the club. They didn’t just stop after Sam. They’re trying to take over The Box and that includes getting rid of you and I.”
That all consuming panic is quick to surge through her body, chest rising and falling rapidly as the anger subsides to fear.
“So… so we need to leave town.”
He nods slowly at her shaky words, allowing her to take the lead as much as she can so she doesn't feel forced. Y/N scratches at her forehead, keeps her eyes on the ground below her.
“Okay. Uh… I take it we can’t go back to my place. Can I, like, borrow some clothes or something?”
“Yeah,” Harry breathes. “I’ll pack a bag now, you should probably call work, tell them there’s a family emergency and you won’t be in for a few days.”
He leaves her for a few minutes, rushing off to pack a bag in his bedroom. Y/N’s fumbling to type a text to her manager, struggles to keep the tears at bay.
It’s all too much. It’s one thing to find out her brother was murdered, but to hear the same people that killed him are after her and Harry now? She feels like she can’t breathe.
//
“Hi, d’you have any more rooms available for the night?”
He’s softly tapping his finger on the reception desk, eyes on Y/N as he speaks and she’s full of the jitters.
Harry sped their way to the next town over, pulling into the first motel they came across. She was silent for the majority of the drive, too in her head to offer a coherent conversation but Harry understood, so he didn’t press it.
And she’s the same now, curled into herself as Harry hands over enough cash to pay for their room for tonight, and lugs the bags in his hands with the room key, making toward the elevator.
“I’m sorry I kept the truth from you, I didn’t want to taint your memories of him.” He breaks the silence as the door closes and they’re carried higher through the building.
“That wasn’t for you to decide.”
It’s quiet but he hears her, loud and clear. Harry hates that he’s made her feel this way – that he’s gotten her mixed up in this shitshow. He’s guilty, blames himself for everything that happened to Sam, everything that’s now happening to her.
“I’m sorry,” she squeaks out.
He looks down at her, brows pinched as she gazes up at him through fluttering lashes and hooded eyes, “What for?”
“None of this is your fault, I know you were only trying to protect me from the truth. Don’t do that again.”
Harry nods curtly as the doors open and he leads them down the hall in search of their room for the night. He unlocks it, flicks on the lights and lets Y/N walk through first.
It’s nothing special, just a standard cheap hotel room, but what does catch Y/N’s eye is the bed. Just the one. And she’s reminded of the last time she saw him, when he was in her bedroom, fucking the life out of her. Despite the circumstances, she’s not opposed to sharing a bed – it might make her feel a little safer – but they’ve not discussed their previous meet-up and she doesn’t know what to make of it.
Harry notices how her gaze stays fixated on the bed and heat rises to his cheeks. “I’ll take the sofa.”
Y/N turns to him, brows pinched. “Don’t be ridiculous. We’re not exactly strangers, Harry. We’ve literally had sex together — I think we’re past the formalities.”
The bluntness of her words has Harry’s eyes widening. His lips part in shock at how brazen she appears about their hook-up. Harry had begun to think she regretted it, and that was why she didn’t bring it up.
Clearly, he’s been sorely mistaken. He thinks.
He clears his throat, forcing a cough. “Right.”
He plants the bag on the sofa and retrieves a pair of boxer shorts and an old t-shirt, handing them both to Y/N. She takes them, guides herself to the bathroom and shuts the door.
It takes Harry a few seconds to regulate his breathing — to get a grip on his emotions and the numbing fear that rattles his body. The whole ordeal is a bit too triggering for him — like he’s potentially going to relive his best friend's death through Y/N.
He doesn’t know what scares him more. What could happen to her or the lengths he’ll go to to protect her. Either thought is too much to process, so instead he lets his mind wonder about the other situation at hand.
She’s about to get into bed with him, wearing his clothes, after they hooked up a couple of days ago and are yet to discuss what the hell it means for them.
And Harry’s aware that it’s definitely not an appropriate time to be thinking about it, but he is. Because he hasn’t been able to stop since it happened.
He’s torn from his thoughts when the bathroom door opens and Y/N creeps into the bedroom. His heart is lodged in his throat at the sight. His clothes are too big for her and her legs look incredibly soft and smooth, the hem of his t-shirt barely covering her bum.
“There’s a spare toothbrush on the side. Bathroom’s all yours.”
There’s not much emotion in her voice now, and Harry can tell from her puffy eyes that she’s been crying behind that bathroom door. His heart cracks a little but he doesn’t say anything.
Instead he uses the bathroom, strips into a pair of boxers (hoping Y/N won’t mind as he didn’t pack a whole lot of clothes), and brushes his teeth before joining her in the hotel room again.
She’s under the covers now, only his bedside lamp on and Harry’s heart starts to thump. It’s been a while since he’s laid in bed with someone without something happening.
Nevertheless, he crawls in beside her and flicks off the light. He keeps a respectable distance between them but still close enough to make out the shadows of her face. That’s when he hears it, the soft sniffles and shaky breath.
A sigh escapes his lips as he shuffles closer with arms outstretched. He half expects her to push him away, tell him no, she’s still angry with him, but she doesn’t. She coddles herself into his chest instead and lets him hold her — comfort her.
“I’m not going to let anything happen to you, Penny. I promise.”
And while she appreciates the reassuring words, it doesn’t do much to soothe her fear and anxiety. Nothing could make her feel safe right now — not even Harry’s warm and strong body keeping her close. Not completely safe, anyway. Not now that she knows the truth.
What she thinks she needs is a distraction. Something to make her forget, even just for a short while. So it’s not really a surprise to her when she finds herself pulling out of Harry’s hold just enough to crane her neck up to look at him.
He’s already gazing down at her, eyes as dark as the night. With softly puckered lips, Y/N leans up just enough to press a gentle kiss against his mouth.
It surprises Harry, if he’s honest. He never would’ve taken her for someone to initiate things first, but he has to remind himself that she’s the type of girl to go after what she wants, and she was the one to initiate things last time.
He kisses her back just as softly, lips moulding to hers as they both lay on their sides, Y/N lifting her leg to wrap it around Harry’s waist.
It’s a bold hint that Harry gets, and he pulls away slowly to get a look at her, to search for a single shred of doubt or hesitation. When he falls short, he noses at her temple.
“It’s probably not a good idea tonight,” he breathes, trying desperately to ignore the way his cock lunges. “Your emotions are really heightened right now. I don’t want you to regret it in the morning.”
She shakes her head. “I won’t. I didn’t regret it last time,” she tells him, “I just need to forget for a little while.”
Harry swallows thickly. So she doesn’t regret it. And she wants it to happen again, right now, to forget.
“I uh,” he clears his throat, “I don’t have anything — I don’t have a condom with me.”
Y/N blinks, lips parting. The idea of not using one does cross both of their minds but they’re smarter than that.
Her hand reaches between their bodies, fingertips grazing across the throbbing length of Harry’s hard cock beneath his boxers.
“We can do other stuff, can’t we?”
Her voice is a sensual whisper and it makes his head spin. She’s compelling, everything about her. So he’s not very shocked when he finds himself nodding his head and leaning down to greet her in a kiss again.
Y/N palms at his clothed cock, hips gently rocking as she tries to get closer. This is what she needs. Him. Anything he’ll give her to make her forget what life is like right now — what she’s running from.
Harry’s hand cups the side of her jaw, kissing her a little harder. Her spare hand reaches for his wrist to move it away, guides it down their bodies and between her legs until he’s cupping her aching heat through (his) boxers.
“Are you sure?”
She squeezes his cock, dipping her fingers into the waistband of his underwear. “Touch me, Har. Need it so bad.”
He swallows thickly, palming at her heat as a shuddered moan slips from her lips and into his mouth. She wraps her cool fingers around his shift, a hiss sounding from the back of his throat.
“Need to forget everything, H. Just want you.”
The neediness in her voice sends him spiralling, latching his mouth to hers with as much force as he can muster. The kiss is messy, dirty — all tongue and teeth and Y/N thinks it’s the hottest thing she’s ever experienced.
Her hand begins to bob on his cock, long strokes and as she reaches his tip, small beads of precum coat her fingers, smearing across his length. He seethes, a hum soon following as he tries to stay quiet.
But Y/N doesn’t want him to be quiet. She wants to hear him, how she’s making him feel.
She pumps a little faster, grip a little tighter. Harry’s sneaking his fingers into the boxers she’s wearing, swirling his fingers between her folds and she’s soaked — almost dripping, really.
“Jesus Christ, Penny. You’re fucking soaked.”
She moans into his mouth, bucking her hips against his hand. “I told you not to call me that,” she pants.
“M’sorry, baby.”
She nods against the kiss. “Yeah, that’s better.”
A breathily laugh escapes Harry’s mouth, his finger prodding at her fluttering hole. She’s eager for him, desperate. Just wants to feel full of him — of whatever he can give her.
He continues to tease her, thumb on her clit while she lazily tugs at his cock. It’s not enough for her, the gentle touches, she wants her brain turned to mush so she has no choice but to not think.
Maybe that’s why she shuffles her position beside him until she’s kneeling by his hips and tugging his cock free from the confinements of his boxers.
Harry watches with hooded eyes as she leans down to press a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss to his leaking tip. His head falls back against the pillows, chest rising and falling rapidly as she works her warm mouth on his cock.
He keeps his hand between her thighs, fingers pinching delicately at her puffy clit, a little too fucked on the feeling of her moaning around him.
Y/N licks messily from the base to the head, swirling her tongue across his slit before taking him into her mouth. She doesn’t mess about with it, takes as much as she can at once and lets him hit at the back of her throat.
A gruff moan escapes Harry’s lips as she gags around him, spluttering profusely as strings of saliva dribble from the corners of her mouth.
He reaches his spare hand down for her head, tugging at the roots of her hair to get her attention. “Turn around,” he breathes heavily.
She pulls off him, brows pinched. “What?”
“I wanna taste you at the same time,” he gulps. “Turn around.”
His hand leaves her head, reaching for the boxers on her waist to tug them down while the other continues its assault on her dripping cunt. He relents for a moment to tug the underwear down her thighs and past her ankles, throwing them across the room and helping situate her above his face.
She lets out a squeak at his eagerness, nose bumping the tip of his cock but Harry doesn’t care. Her cunt hovers over him, soaked and puffy and a quiet moan slips from his lips at the sight.
With his hands on her hips, he eases her down to latch his mouth around her cunt, slurping at her wetness as he’s finally awarded a taste of her. And he’s hooked. Completely fucked out. She’s sweeter than anything he’s ever had before and he’ll be devastated if she never allows him a taste again.
Y/N covers him with her mouth, suckling as much as she can fit and bobbing her head with every stroke her tongue offers to the underside of his cock. They’re both messy and sloppy with their actions, eager and desperate for a release.
The hotel room will no doubt stink of sex for days after, but neither of them care. They can barely think straight as it is.
Harry can’t get over the taste of her, wants it staining his tongue for the rest of his life. He reaches a finger down to probe at her hole, pushing in with ease as she clenches around him.
Y/N lets out a muffled moan around his cock, the sound sending vibrations through Harry’s body which makes him twitch against her tongue.
“You’re so fucking sexy,” he mumbles against her cunt, finger curling before he adds a second one and fucks them into her.
Her thighs are trembling from the sides of his head, locking him in slightly to stop him trying to move away. Y/N takes him deeper into her mouth, relaxing her jaw and Harry takes the hint to start bucking his hips into her.
It’s filthy, the noises she makes, the way his cock jabs at the back of her throat. Her pussy grips his fingers like a vice, walls fluttering and he knows she’s close. With his spare hand, Harry strikes a smack to her ass, pawing at the fleshy skin before spanking her again.
She’s positively dripping into his mouth, her body so worked up that she can barely keep consciousness. Her eyes are stinging with tears as he thrusts harsher, effectively restricting her air supply as he does so.
But she’s never been so turned on in her life. Sixty-nine-ing with Harry in the pitch dark.
“Fuck! Baby, I’m gonna come.”
He expects her to pull off him, but she doesn’t. Instead, Y/N forces her mouth further down and sucks, hand reaching between his thighs to massage his balls.
He’s crying out her name as he releases, spurts of warm come shooting down her throat as her own orgasm rakes through her body.
Harry laps it up the best he can, cock still buried down her throat as she comes around his fingers and drips into his mouth. She’s begging for him, whining his name as he removes his fingers and sucks them dry.
She can feel him soften against her tongue, and with as much energy as she can muster up, she pulls off him with a heavy breath.
“Y’okay?”
She hums, a little floaty if she’s honest but it worked. It made her forget and now all she wants to do is sleep.
“Mhm, thank you.”
Harry grins tiredly to himself, helping her off his chest and to lay back beside him. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and plants a gentle kiss to her forehead.
“Let me get you some water.”
Y/N watches him through bleary eyes as his cute, naked bum moves over to the desk across the room. He comes back, soft length still impressive, and hands the bottle to her with the cap undone.
“Here, take a sip,” he guides the bottle to her lips and encourages her to drink before taking a swig for himself.
Harry climbs into the bed beside her, arms outstretched and she’s quick to nuzzle into his hold. He strokes the hair from her face, keeping her close.
“Get some sleep. I promise I’ll still be here in the morning.”
//
Rustling from outside the hotel room is what stirs Harry awake. He’s groggy as he blinks away the sleep, arms aching from Y/N’s head as she lays cuddled up to his chest.
His heart swells for a moment at the sight of her — and then he hears it again, the noise. There’s whispers and footsteps padding outside the door, three voices.
He’s careful when he stands, not wanting to wake Y/N if he’s just overreacting. But when he levels his eyes with the peephole of the door, his flight or fight kicks in and his heart thumps in his ears.
Harry pulls away from the peephole quickly, back against the door as he tries to remain as silent as humanly possible. Y/N stirs in the bed, reaching out for him but he’s not there to cuddle again.
Her eyes flutter open, brows furrowed as she slowly lifts her head from the pillow in search of him. That’s where she spots him, against the door with a bewildered look in his eyes.
Her mouth opens to speak, but she quickly shuts it when Harry brings a finger to his lips, signalling her to stay quiet. Her heart begins to thump again, bile in her throat and she’s frozen on the bed, sheets clutched close to her naked body.
“Let’s try upstairs,” he hears Ryce say, “They’re not on this floor.”
Harry waits a moment before turning his body to peek through the peephole again. They’re slowly sauntering off down the hall, clicking the button for the elevator and stepping inside shortly after. He turns back to Y/N, chest heaving and eyes wide.
“Penny, get dressed. We need to leave, now.”
It’s a rush, to get dressed and throw everything haphazardly into Harry’s backpack. Their hearts patter wildly, breathing ragged as fear consumes the pair of them.
It’s frantic, how he looks at her, keeping her behind his back as he slowly opens the door to peek his head out. He scans the hall, straining his ears for any sound of movement and when he falls short, he very quickly and quietly tugs her out of the hotel room.
Harry leads them to the staircase, trainers skidding across the linoleum floors with every step they jump down.
“They found us, didn’t they?” she asks through laboured breaths.
He doesn’t reply, instead tightens his hold on her hand and forces her to move quicker, taking three steps at a time instead of two and she struggles to keep up with his long strides.
Harry pushes through the door of the stairs, not slowing as they race through reception and out into the cool air of the early morning. It’s then that they break into a sprint across the parking lot to reach Harry’s Chevy.
Then they hear footsteps, the door of the hotel building slamming shut. Harry throws a glance over his shoulder, catching sight of the three lunatics that are after them.
They’re slowly approaching, picking up their pace as Harry and Y/N get closer to the car. He unlocks it from a distance and throws the backpack to Y/N.
He turns to her, finger pointing in her face. “Lock yourself in the car. If they get the upper hand, you drive and you don’t look back.”
The look on his face scares her, rattles her to her core. She tries to shake her head but Harry’s shoving the keys in the palm of her hand and pushing her closer to the vehicle.
The three of them grab him at once; Ryce and Scott holding him by the arms and shoulders as the bigger man, George, throws punches against his stomach. The sight of it makes her sick, has her knees buckling and heart aching.
Nimble fingers struggle to open the car, brain fuzzy as she rushes to throw the bags in the back seats. Y/N shuts the door behind her, locking the car again as her chest rises and falls with every shaky break she takes.
It’s torture, watching as they beat him – the way they pin his arms back and take advantage of his inability to fight back. He takes every hit and punch like a man, doesn’t allow his guard to falter no matter how hard the strikes may hurt.
And it’s like they see that, too. Like they notice it’ll take a lot more than a few blows to ruin him. Maybe that’s why George relents his assault for a moment and fixes his gaze to the car – to Y/N, cowering in the backseats like a lamb ready for slaughter.
And it’s when he slowly begins to stalk toward her that Harry’s heart begins to thump a little too hard. It’s when George starts to bash his hands against the backseat window that he starts to burn a fueling fire of rage.
He struggles against the hold that Scott and Ryce have over him, unable to tear his arms out of reach. Until he hears her scream and the backseat window smashing.
Y/N can’t breathe, heart lodged in her throat and tears stinging at her vision. She watches completely frozen as George reaches his hand in and unlocks the door. Watches the sadistic smirk that plasters across his lips as he opens the door and reaches for her ankles.
“No! Get off of me!”
Her screams are futile, her body breaking into hysterical movements. Her legs kick harshly at his grabbing hands, her foot striking his throat which allows her barely a few seconds to search for something, anything.
Y/N’s eyes avert to the footwell of the passenger's seat when she sees it. A crowbar. Her fingers wrap around the metal at the same time George’s wrap around her ankles. She’s pulled from the backseats, back crashing onto the concrete of the parking lot. And in one swift motion, her arm swings forward and the curve of the bar wraps around the side of George’s head.
In an instant, his heavy build falls off her – collapsing onto his side. She waits for a beat, her eyes wide and searching for any sign of life. There’s no blood, no sound. Tentatively and with trembling hands, she leans closer to his still body and poises her fingers beneath his nose.
One breath. Two, three.
She clambers away from him with a deep breath, unsteady as she rises to her feet. She’s allowed no time to process the situation, to calm herself. Because right before her eyes, Harry is fighting for his freedom.
This time, Ryce has Harry’s arms pinned behind his back, looping with his own and Scott delivers much harder blows to Harry’s face and torso. His legs kick out, arms thrashing in Ryce’s hold but it doesn’t do much damage.
Tightening her grasp around the crowbar, Y/N doesn’t quite know what comes over her. Whether it’s fear, anger or something entirely different. Whatever it is, compels her to swing the crowbar across the backs of Ryce’s legs – the shock and force of the blow buckling his knees just enough for his hold on Harry to relent.
Y/N doesn’t give him time to turn before she jumps onto his back with her legs around his waist and the crowbar wrapped around his throat. Her body moulds to his like a bear hug, an unknown strength unleashing itself in a desperate attempt to keep him from Harry just long enough to regain his strength.
And Harry doesn’t waste a moment of the opportunity. His fist beats against Scott’s face in rhythmic blows until his body is on the ground and he can’t fight back. Harry’s knuckles stain with blood and grazes, delivering a final pinch to the bridge of Scott’s nose before climbing off his bruised body.
His chest heaves, every breath feeling as though it tears his lungs. Harry spits the build up of blood in his mouth on the floor, rolling his shoulders back and flexing his fingers before they return to their fisted state.
Ryce is red in the face, fingers wrapping around the crowbar that Y/N pulls against his throat. The anger in her face is starling to Harry, something he’s never seen before — not even in himself. A hatred so pure it could kill.
Harry approaches them quickly as Ryce throws back his elbow and it meets with the side of Y/N’s stomach. All at once, her hold on the crowbar and him falters and she’s sliding off his back and doubling over on the concrete.
Ryce throws a punch but Harry is quick to dodge, despite the fact he’s still attempting to catch his breath. Before he rises, he reaches for the crowbar and swings it against the side of Ryce’s body.
He seethes out in pain, struggles to stand straight to fight back. He messily throws his fist, easier for Harry to dodge this time and he returns it with another blow across his knees with the crowbar.
Harry throws it to the side, watching with heavy breaths as Ryce tries to steady himself again. Harry doesn’t give him the chance. He squares his fist against the side of his face and he pummels to the ground.
It’s silent for a moment, aside from Harry’s rapid breathing and Y/N’s soft whimpers as she clutches her stomach and steadies herself on her feet again.
Harry backs away from the mess they’ve created, guilt crawling up his throat as he turns to look at her. There’s a cold expression painted across her face, eyes void of anything other than a predatory gaze.
She’s got the look of someone who’s desperate to survive. That’s what this is now, sink or swim. And she knows it.
They don’t share any words, just a look. But that’s all that’s needed. That one look says everything. They’re in this together — it’s them against anyone who tries it.
It’s silent as they both get into the car, Harry picking his keys up from the floor before he starts the engine.
It’s silent when they pull out of the car park, the sound of the cold air whipping through the shattered window in the backseats.
It’s silent until Y/N finally speaks. “Where are we going?”
Harry waits a beat, eyes focussed on the road. He can’t bring himself to look at her, to be faced with her expressionless gaze again. So he looks forward, grips the wheel and clears his throat.
“To see an old friend.”
//
His body is beginning to hurt as he pulls into the familiar garage. It’s been a while since Harry’s been here and everything looks the exact same as it did last time.
He kills the engine, lets his hands slip from the wheel and he finally turns to Y/N, who’s already looking at him. She takes him in, properly. The cuts and bruises that begin to form on his soft skin, the bags that protrude under his eyes from lack of sleep and a couple of punches he caught.
It hurts her heart to no end. She wishes none of this was happening.
“Are you okay?” he finally speaks, voice soft.
She nods, but they both know she’s not. Not really.
“Are you?”
He huffs out a small laugh and reaches for her hand that sits in her lap. “I’ve been better.”
She doesn’t understand it — how he always has the energy to try to make light out of any situation. Y/N looks away briefly, taking in the surroundings of the garage.
It’s like any other she’s been to. A few old cars spread across the place, some that are very clearly undrivable and others that she thinks probably only needed a quick fix.
Her brows pinch when she thinks about why they’re here. Is a blown back window really what’s important right now? She looks back to Harry with parted lips, but he already knows what she’s going to say.
“It’s my friend's garage. He’ll be able to help with more than just a smashed window.”
Y/N nods curtly, unsure if she’s understanding what he’s letting on. She also doesn’t have any suggestions as to what the fuck else they could do to help them out of this situation, so she puts all her trust in him and this unknown friend, and prays that her brother will keep them as safe as he can.
Her eyes look forward again, noticing a man and woman emerging from a wide door to the left. She looks back to Harry, a smile on his face as he opens the door and clambers out.
Y/N follows suit, shrinking into herself a little as the two unfamiliar faces grow closer.
“No call?” the man speaks loudly, arms across his chest.
Harry shrugs, walking closer. “No time.”
A smile breaks across the man’s face as he and Harry meet in a brotherly embrace. They’re squeezing tight, smacking each other’s backs until the man pulls away and gets a look at his friends face.
“Christ, H… did you even get a hit in?”
Harry smacks him in the chest and moves slightly to greet the woman. “Hey, Ashley. How’ve you been?”
She offers him a small hug and smiles. “Better than you it appears.”
Harry pulls away with a seemingly shy smile, turning back to Y/N who remains hovering by the Chevy. He points to her with an open palm. “Penny, this is Ashley and Jimmy. Guys, this is Y/N… Sammy’s sister.”
A heavy silence falls upon the shop – so quiet they’d be able to hear a pin drop. She offers a half wave, pursed lips and teary eyes. Harry is quick to make his way by her side again, an arm wrapped loosely around her waist to offer some form of reassurance.
“Jimmy and Sam used to knock about together,” he tells her. “Jim’s actually the one that found the club and convinced Sammy to take it on.”
He offers a polite smile and wave but there’s nothing but pity in his eyes. “I’m sorry for your loss. Sam was a one-of-a-kind kid.”
She nods, doesn’t want to reminisce on her late brother. Not right now. Not after the morning they’ve had.
Harry clears his throat and scratches at the nape of his neck. “M’sorry to throw it on you guys, but d’you mind if we crash for the night? We’re in a bit of a mess right now.”
There’s no hesitation when both Jimmy and Ashley nod their heads. “Of course, stay as long as you need. Come on upstairs, I’m just about to fix up some lunch, you guys can get cleaned up.”
Harry follows them through the garage, hand on Y/N’s lower back to guide her through. She stays close to him, far too on edge to be as trusting as Harry. She has to remind herself that they were also Sammy’s friends. And he didn’t put his trust in just anybody.
“Thank you, I promise we’ll be out of your hair by morning.”
Their apartment above the garage is nice. It’s rustic and chic at the same time and Y/N finds herself drawn to the canvases that litter the walls in the hall and living room.
Jimmy seems to notice. “They’re Ash’s,” he says with a smile. “She’s a wicked artist.”
Y/N hums, a small smile painting its way on her own lips. She’s desperately trying to ignore the dull ache in the side of her stomach, tries to play it off like every breath isn’t hindering her in some small way.
They follow through to the kitchen, the same sort of vibe with a wooden kitchen island and black, steel stools. Harry guides her to take a seat and sits himself beside her, both watching Ash as she pours them each a cup of coffee.
“Did the Chevy take as much damage as you?”
Harry scoffs out a laugh and takes a sip of his drink. “Still as mouthy as ever,” he quips back. “But no, she’s just fine – apart from the back window. That got smashed to fuck.”
Y/N watches them back and forth, how they talk with such ease, like the past twelve hours didn’t happen. It has her head spinning, has her second-guessing that Harry isn’t taking this as seriously as he made her believe.
She stands abruptly from her stool, the steel screeching across the hardwood floors. All eyes fall on her and she gulps. “Can I use your bathroom?”
Ashley nods, pointing to the door just down the hall. Y/N mumbles a quiet ‘thanks’ before rushing off and pressing her back behind the locked door.
She just needs a moment. A moment to think and breathe. This is all way too much for her to handle right now and she’s never felt so alone in her entire life. It hurts her heart, her head – everything. Tears are stinging at her waterline, threatening to spill over but she wills them not to.
A small knock on the door is heard and then… “Penny? It’s me.”
Y/N swallows down her feelings and unlocks the door. Harry lets himself in; worrisome eyes and tender hands on her arms as he closes the door behind him.
“Y’okay? I know this is all probably scaring you.”
She stares at him blankly. “Scaring me? Harry, I’m fucking terrified and you’re out there laughing without a care in the world, having a catchup with an old friend, while I’m just silently freaking the fuck out.”
He coos her, pulls her into his chest and ignores the pain he feels as he holds her close. “M’sorry, m’just trying to forget about it all for a moment. I’m not going to let anything happen to you, I swear.”
Her breathing is erratic against his chest, hands balling fists of his shirt on his back. Harry strokes the hair from her face and kisses her temple, shushing her the best he can to try and encourage her to steady her breathing.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbles into him.
Harry shakes his head. “You’ve got nothing to apologise for. Why don’t you go for a nap, hmm? Jimmy’s gonna take a look at the damage on the window and I’m gonna talk him through everything that’s happened… see if he has any ideas.”
While a nap does sound good, Y/N’s not sure she’ll be able to switch her mind off. She doesn’t tell Harry that, though. She figures he’s also got enough on his mind, he doesn’t need to be dealing with her fussing all because she can’t sleep.
So she nods her head and pulls out of his embrace. “Yeah, okay. A nap sounds good.”
//
It turns out it wasn’t as hard to fall asleep as Y/N thought it would be. As it goes, severe stress and exhaustion happen to have that effect when the adrenaline wears off.
Ashley was kind enough to lend Y/N a spare top and some sweatpants, washing her previous clothes so they would be clean and dry for when they leave tomorrow. She stretches in the bed of the guestroom, eyes flickering to the clock that reads 17:08 and her eyes widen.
She didn’t expect for a little nap to turn into five hours of sleep and she’s slightly upset that Harry didn’t think to wake her. Her stomach grumbles and it’s only now that she realises she hasn’t eaten in just over twenty-four hours.
Her fluffy sock-clad feet carry her out into the hall, light chit-chat coming from the very end and she follows to the source of it.
They all sit at the kitchen island; Jimmy, Ashley and Harry. There’s a frown set between each of their eyebrows but Harry’s soothes out when he notices Y/N’s lingering presence by the doorway.
“Hey, are you feeling any better?”
She hums. “A little.”
He pulls out a chair for her to take, Jimmy and Ashley quietly talking between themselves as Y/N sits with them. Harry offers her his drink and she takes the glass in her hands, swirling the brown liquid as she brings it to her lips.
“It’s whis—“
She gulps down his drink before he can even finish — doesn’t even care what it is just that any drop of alcohol will do for now.
He stifles a laugh and takes back the empty glass, reaching for the bottle on the middle of the table to refill his drink.
“What are you talking about?” she asks, all eyes now on her.
Harry clears his throat. “Just trying to figure out how to get rid of the guys that are after us.”
She raises a brow, somewhat expectant. “Any luck?”
“No, not yet.” She hears a voice, her eyes following the sound to Harry’s phone that’s on the kitchen island, Niall’s contact on the screen.
“Oh,” she peeps quietly. “Hi, Niall.”
“Hey, Y/N. How are you holding up?”
She scoffs. “About as well as Bambi on ice.”
He laughs at her comment, a hearty one at that. Harry smiles softly at her, can feel the nerves and anxiety bubbling off her aura in waves. It hurts to see her like this, so curled into herself and scared.
“So, let’s lay it all out again,” Ashley speaks a little louder.
Harry and Jimmy lean forward in their seats simultaneously. “As far as we’re aware, it’s just the three of them; the brothers—“
“—Wait, they’re brothers?” Y/N pipes up with knitted brows.
Harry nods. “Mhm. A lot of the guys that train at The Box were in gangs, the Scavello brothers were rivals to a bunch of them. They’ve all got screws loose, multiple personality disorders.”
“And schizophrenia. The worst case of it.” Niall chips in.
The newfound information does nothing to cease her fears. If anything, it only intensifies tenfold and Y/N begins to find it difficult to breathe.
“Right,” Harry swallows thickly. “So it’s the three brothers, all hellbent on getting revenge for Sammy not paying them they’re thirty grand. We already know they won’t stop until they get the club or feel… satisfied enough to move on.”
There’s something about the way Harry words it that makes Y/N shiver. She doesn’t know how much longer of this she can take, how much more dangerous it’ll get. At what point will they feel satisfied? When they’re run out of town? When they’re beaten and bloody? When they’re six feet under like her brother?
“They’re known for a lot of shady shit, too. Few years ago Ryce had stabbed someone in a pub… pretty sure he’s still on the wanted list.” Niall speaks again, like that’s the worst thing they’ve ever done.
Y/N has to bite her tongue. She doesn’t know if they’re aware of the truth about Sam’s death. And if they’re not, she isn’t about to announce it. She won’t allow for him to be remembered as the guy they killed.
Not now. Not ever.
“So have you not thought about tipping off the police?” Ashley asks, slightly incredulous as if it’s the most obvious option there is. (Which in all honesty, Y/N completely agrees with).
But Jimmy shakes his head profusely, clasping his hands together on the kitchen island. “No, no way. The Feds are already suspecting the club of illegal activity. It’s just going to give them more ammo. This needs to be dealt with in-house.” He points his finger downward, tapping against the counter.
Y/N chews on the inside of her cheek, the gears ticking in her head as she thinks of an alternative idea.
“What about a set up?” she suggests. “We meet them somewhere and… Ash, maybe you could call in and say you’ve driven past a group of guys attacking a couple…. If they get arrested it could give us some time to figure out something more solid?”
She knows it’s a lame idea, but it’s something. No one else seems to be putting theories to the table.
And of course, Harry is the first to shake his head. “No, too dangerous and they won’t fall for that. They’re insane but they’re not stupid.”
She slumps at his words, slightly offended by his tone but she doesn’t let herself get into that. Really, Harry’s distaste to her idea is the least of anyone’s concerns right now.
All eyes fall on the phone in the centre of the table, “Any ideas, Ni?”
He’s silent for a moment, then a huff is heard. “Personally, I think the best option will be to come back to the club. They’re gonna riot at some point. Might aswel be prepared for it. We’ll get the boys in tomorrow and figure out a plan between the lot of us.”
It’s a bit annoying that the simplest of ideas doesn’t suck. That logically, it’s probably the smartest and safest move to make. Because Niall is right. Eventually, the brothers will riot the club, and what the fuck are three psychos against a gym full of angry boxers?
The doorbell sounds through the kitchen and pulls Y/N from her thoughts. Jimmy stands, legs of his stool scratching against the floor as he grabs his wallet from his back pocket.
“Let’s call it a night then. Pizzas here. We’ll regroup tomorrow.”
The mention of food almost has Y/N’s mouth watering. They say their goodbyes to Niall, no one’s stress easing in the slightest but at least they have somewhat of a plan and she doesn’t feel so alone anymore.
Those boys at the gym would fight tooth and nail to protect Sam’s legacy. She just prays that it’ll be enough.
Not much is said as they eat their dinner. Harry and Jimmy reminisce on a few memories with Ash chiming in here and there, but for the most part Y/N stays silent and focuses on her food.
They stay like that for another hour or so until Harry’s eyelids grow heavy and start to sting. He’s exhausted, to say the least. His body still aches and as he glances over at Y/N, he can tell that the five hour nap has only made her more tired.
He leans closer to her, lips ghosting her ear. “D’you wanna go to bed?”
She turns her head just slightly to get a look at him. His face is a lot more busted as the night has gone on and the sleepiness that takes over his features pinches her heart a little.
Nodding her head, she stifles a yawn. “Yeah, you look pretty tired, too.”
Harry grins as he rolls his eyes, leaning away from her now to finish the last of his whiskey. He places the glass back on the counter, clearing his throat to catch Ash and Jim’s attention.
“We’re going to head to bed, long day tomorrow.”
Jimmy puffs out his cheeks with an exhale, nodding solemnly. Y/N gets it, can practically feel the anxiety that rolls off him. While he’s good at masking his expressions, there’s not much he can do about his vibe.
“Yeah, yeah, no worries. You know where everything is if you need anything.”
Harry guides Y/N off her stool and down the hall again after saying goodnight to the others. They don’t bother to turn on the light, instead opt for blindly feeling for the bed with their legs and Harry helps her get comfy.
She expects him to round the bed and crawl in next to her, but he doesn’t. Instead, he brushes the hair from her face and stands back with a gentle smile as he regards her.
Y/N’s brows pinch together when he speaks. “I’ll be next door if you need me.”
“Why?” she asks.
“Why what?”
“Why aren’t you staying here with me?”
He smiles softly, shuffling closer to the foot of the bed again. “Didn’t want to assume, that’s all.”
It makes him feel something deep in his stomach — how she craves his presence and wants him close. There’s a swell of something similar to pride in his chest at the realisation of how deep her trust for him runs.
“D’you want me to stay, Penny?”
She sinks further into the bed, seemingly trying to hide half of her face from his gaze. “Only if you want to,” she replies.
Harry’s smile grows slightly and he nods his head, kicking off his shoes and shimmying out of his jeans. She watches, rather closely. He’s right beside her still as he strips down to his boxers before he closes the door and approaches the other side of the bed.
The sheets are cool against his warm skin, small hisses and grunts slipping from his lips at the discomfort in his ribs and abdomen. It makes Y/N feel funny, knowing just how hurt he must be. She was witness to the assault, she’s a little surprised how well he’s taking it.
She has to remind herself that he is a boxer. And a fucking good one at that.
Y/N turns onto her side, her face just a couple of inches from Harry as their eyes adjust to the darkness, desperately trying to map out the others face under the dim moonlight that threatens to peek through the curtains.
Her ankles rub together as they do every night as she tries to settle herself for bed. Something she’s done ever since she was young. Harry can feel the movement beneath the sheets, but to him, he reads it as a sign of feeling cold. So he shuffles a little closer and intertwines their legs, resting a heavy palm on her hip.
“Harry,” she whispers into the night and he’s already looking at her.
“Yeah?”
She waits a moment, unsure if there’s any use in admitting her quarries right now. There’s nothing he can do or say to soothe her, not with the mess that awaits them.
And yet she finds herself uttering it anyway. “I’m scared.”
The broken octave of her voice is felt deep in Harry’s chest, that primal and protective sensation kicking in again. It makes his brows twist in something that can only be described as annoyance. But it’s not directed at her, Harry doesn’t think it ever could be.
“I don’t see an end where we all make it out of this.”
The admittance she whispers aloud is frightening to her. As if speaking her fear is willing its existence to the universe. It has her cowering into herself with shaky breaths and eyes tightly shut.
“We will,” Harry speaks, not allowing a second of doubt to build in her pretty little head. “I’ll make sure of it.”
Her eyes peak open slowly, readjusting to the darkness again when Harry slowly inches closer until the tip of his nose nudges against hers.
“Before Sammy died, he always told me to look out for you — in case anything ever happened to him. I keep my promises, Penny. No matter what it takes.”
She believes him, wholeheartedly. She trusts that he’ll keep her safe, that he’ll fight for the club. The blanket of safety that comes with Harry’s presence begins to consume her — keeps her close and warm and respected.
Maybe that’s why her eyes begin to droop until she can no longer keep them open. She cuddles into his chest, face nuzzling in the crook of his warm neck and his scent envelopes her senses as she slips into a slumber.
Harry can feel her soft breathing even out until her body relaxes against his. He lays awake, admiring the slope of her nose and her lashes that flatten across her cheekbones.
The need and desire to keep her safe prevails over any other senses. His mind falls short when he considers what he wouldn’t do to protect her, to give her the life she deserves.
And it’s not because Sam asked him to.
//
When the sun rises and the moon rests, the tension they felt the day before returns full force. Few words are shared between the four of them as they prepare for the day ahead. It’s like nobody wants to state the obvious, that this could very well be the last time Jimmy and Ashley see Harry and Y/N.
She tries her best not to think about it, not to get too deep in her head. She’s brushing her teeth in the bathroom, eyes lacking their usual glint but that’s no surprise — she doesn’t think it’s been there since Sammy’s death.
A knock on the door breaks her gaze from her reflection. Harry leans on the door frame, arms folded over his chest as he offers the young woman a soft smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
“Jimmy’s just finished replacing the window. We’re good to go whenever you’re ready.”
He keeps his voice light and soft, not wanting to pressure her when their situation is already stressful enough. She nods her head slowly at his words, rinsing off the toothbrush under the water.
“Yeah, okay. Uh, just give me a minute?”
“Sure. I’ll be downstairs when you’re ready.”
He leaves her in the bathroom, bounding down the stairs as he returns to his friends in the garage. Jimmy’s wiping his hands on an old rag before flinging it across his shoulder.
“She’s all set, changed out your back tire, too. Looked like it was about to blow.”
Their hands meet in a greeting, chests bumping in that brosome hug most guys do. Harry sits his hands on his hips as he takes a look at the Chevy. As good as new, he thinks.
“Man, I appreciate you and Ash helping us out. You really saved our asses last night.”
Jimmy waves his hand in dismissal as he shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it, it’s what brothers do.”
There’s an appreciative smile on Harry’s face as the door opens again and Y/N’s body shuffles through. Even from across the garage, he can see that glimmer of uncertainty in her eyes.
She approaches quickly, and by the way her shoulders are slightly raised and head a little ducked, Harry can tell she’s anxious.
He holds an arm in the air for her, allowing her to settle into his side before resting the arm across her shoulders.
“Thank you, for everything,” she says just loud enough for Jimmy to hear.
He nods curtly, leaning forward on one foot with an open palm for her to shake. “It was lovely meeting you, Y/N. I’m just sorry it was under these circumstances.”
She smiles through pursed lips and shakes his head with the same pressure he offers. “Me too.”
She excuses herself to load the bags into the back of the Chevy and waits for Harry in the passenger's seat. Y/N watches them chatter quietly, the mention of Ashley being at work and that if they need anything to not hesitate to call.
It’s merely a couple of minutes before Harry joins her in the car, twisting the key to start up the engine and as he pulls out of the garage, he throws his arm out of his window to wave goodbye to Jimmy.
They share a look as they drive down the road, a nervous glance that promises they’re in this together. Harry reaches for her hand in her lap and intertwines their fingers.
She doesn’t say anything as he guides their hands to his mouth and presses a kiss on her knuckles. And he doesn’t say anything when she squeezes his a little tighter.
They remain silent for the most of their drive. It’s late afternoon by the time they arrive at the club and it’s safe to say their guards are up high. They’re eyes are scanning every inch of roads they drive through, hearts thumping in fear and anticipation.
But they don’t see anything.
Harry pulls up outside, putting the car in park and they both exit. There’s an eerie energy that surrounds them, like the universe is taunting and playing on their fears.
They can’t ignore it, even if they tried.
They enter through the back door, feet scuffling against the concrete ground as Harry guides her through. Niall had already rounded up the guys with the prompt of a family meeting taking place. So it’s no surprise that they’re already gathered by one of the boxing rings.
“Thank you all for coming,” Harry calls out to everyone as he and Y/N make their way closer to the group.
There’s a few mumbles of replies and gasps at the sight of Harry’s bruised face, and lots of nodding heads when they come to a stop before them.
“I’m sure you’re all familiar with the Scavello brothers and what they did to Sammy,” a chorus of disgruntled expressions appear throughout the faces of the group.
Y/N can’t look — keeps her eyes downcast on the floor.
“Well, they’re no longer in hiding. They’re back and they’re after us,” he sways his finger between himself and Y/N, “And this club.”
Niall steps forward, inching closer to the pair who regard the larger group. “We don’t know what’s going to happen, but everyone needs to be prepared in case something does.”
Harry watches the way his members nod their heads and clench knuckles into fists. He can feel the anger and heartbreak that resonates within the gym.
“I need every single one of you on guard in case they show up. This is Sam’s life here. And we’re going to protect it like it’s our own. Understood?”
//
It’s been four days.
Four long, gruelling days of looking over their shoulders and Y/N keeping her keys between her fingers whenever she goes to and from her car alone. Not that that’s been a regular thing, Harry had convinced her to stay with him and his place. And after a bit of compromise, Harry agreed to stay at Y/N’s so she wasn’t on her own.
And it was a bit awkward at first. She didn’t ask for him to stay in her bedroom with her, allowed him to turn the sofa into his temporary bed. But by the second day, the awkwardness evened out to a disturbingly, comfortable, domesticated situation.
Y/N cooked and Harry cleaned. They picked shows to watch together and neither left the house alone. Y/N remains on emergency leave for a week, but Harry’s assured her that when she returns, he’ll drop her off and pick her up.
There won’t be a chance for the same thing to happen again.
Today is no different. They woke up together, picked at their breakfast — both still struggling to find their appetite — and drove in Harry’s Chevy to the club this afternoon.
It’s nearing 5:30 p.m. and they’re both sitting together in the office. Y/N’s sipping on her coffee with a Manila folder in hand, Harry typing data into the computer while taking sips of his own blend every now and then.
“Do you think it’s a good idea to host fight nights with all this going on?”
Harry pauses his typing for a moment, head tilting as he looks at her. He hums, nods slowly. “You’re probably right, we’re just losing money each night that we don’t. The guys are gonna start getting frustrated. For a lot of ‘em it’s the only source of income they’ve got.”
It’s a tricky one, Y/N knows that. Their livelihood is important, but so is their safety. It seems more likely that the Scavello brothers would make an appearance on a busy night like tonight. Friday Fight Night.
A thought occurs to her. “What about an advance?”
Harry’s bows knit together. “An advance?”
“Yeah,” she nods. “We’ve got just over two hundred grand stashed under the floorboards, Har. We can offer an advance to those who need it — they can pay back in instalments when we start up fights again.”
He mulls the idea over for a few seconds, not really finding many cons to the proposal. He nods his head, digging through the draws of the desk for a notepad and pen.
“Want me to go and take names?”
Harry shakes his head. “We need to get this place looking legit first. Destroy anything that holds passwords, account numbers — anything that tries back to the illegal fights. If they or the Feds come snooping, our noses are clean and they have nothing to say otherwise.”
Y/N’s about to reply, to suggest burning any correlating paperwork when a ruckus from outside the office and in the gym is heard.
They look at one another, eyes wide and churning stomachs. Harry stands first, bringing a finger to his lips as he motions for Y/N to stay quiet. The ruckus gets a bit louder, a chorus of disgruntled sounds heard.
Harry inches toward the door first, an arm outstretched to his side in an attempt to keep Y/N behind him. She follows suit, hands trembling slightly and she struggles to see over his broad shoulders.
But Harry can see. He sees the three brothers, but they’re not alone. They’ve brought a posse with them and their hands are all equipped with anything you could think to use as a weapon.
Hammers, knives, baseball bats. If it wasn’t such a dire situation, he’d find it ironic that Ryce is gripping a crowbar.
He’s the first to notice Harry’s presence and his blood is quick to run cold. He taps at Y/N’s side, trying his best to buff out his body to shield hers from their view.
“Stay in the office and lock the door. Text Jimmy and get rid of everything.”
He shoves her backward slightly, reaching for the door handle to close it behind him. She locks the door with nimble fingers, racing around the desk to retrieve Harry’s phone and find Jimmy’s contact.
It’s Y/N. They’re here.
She drops the phone on the desk after sending the message, opening the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet. She can’t stop her hands from trembling, has to continuously replay the plan in her head.
Jimmy calls the police which gives Y/N time to destroy anything illegal while Harry fights them off just long enough for the police to arrive, and everyone prays that nobody gets hurt or killed in the meantime.
No matter how many times she reminds herself of the plan, it doesn’t soothe her fears. Anything could go wrong at any given moment.
It’s not just the three of them this time, they brought friends and it’s going to get messy.
She grabs Harry’s gym bag from the corner of the room and collapses to her knees by the desk. Her fingernails struggle to pry the floorboards up until she spots a flat-headed screwdriver poking out from the gym's tool bag.
It works to her advantage, a few good tugs and pulls and the floorboard pops up with a creak. She’s careful when she pulls it out completely, throwing it to the side and grabbing handfuls of the wads of cash.
Her movements are frantic as she shoves them into the duffle bag, the commotion from outside growing louder and louder. She fills the bag with the money and rushes to take off her jacket, throwing it into the bag to hide the cash and she zips it up, kicking it under the table and smacking her floorboard back in place.
Y/N moves to the filing cabinet, fumbling through the drawers in the desk for a lighter. The papers she retrieved earlier are thrown into the trash can, fingers desperate to spark a light but a thumping on the office door stops her — panics her.
It bursts open after the fourth budge, hinges almost flying off and there he stands, Ryce Scavello, bloody and bruised and gripping a crowbar.
All colour drains from her skin, a sickness within her stomach that’s all-consuming. There’s a maniacal smirk painted across his thin lips and the mark across his neck from her use of the aforementioned weapon still paints his skin deeply.
“Are you going to put up a fight as good as your brother?”
That fear morphs into anger the second the words escape his mouth, her eyes dark and blood cold. She flicks the lighter once more and it sparks a tall flame, and just as he’s about to step toward her, she throws it into the trash and the documents burn in a blaze.
Y/N dodges the first swing he throws, the curled edge of the crowbar nipping at her hair and pulling a few strands out of her ponytail. She can hear her heartbeat in her ears as she ducks from another hit and he laughs at her, sadistically.
“Well you’re certainly as fast as him. Did he teach you that, hmm? Did big brother Sammy teach you how to fight before I killed him?”
She does her best to block out his words, raising her fists to cover her face and her legs spread in the same stance Sam had taught her growing up.
She channels him, everything he ever showed her. She lets her brain reminisce about their occasional sparring sessions because Sam was hellbent on teaching her the right ways to defend herself.
Back then she always told him he was being dramatic, that she’d never put herself in a situation where she’d need to fight for her life.
And now, she can hear his reply in her ears, as clear as day: These situations find you, and you need to be prepared for them.
Ryce lunges for her again, catching her in the temple with his fist at the same time she kicks into his kneecap. The crunch of his bone is heard but it doesn’t stop him.
He somehow gets closer and wraps his hand around her throat, a vice-like grip as he slams her body onto the desk and knocks everything off, her and Harry’s coffees spilling on the floor.
Y/N thrashes her legs against him, fingernails scratching at the skin of his face as her thumbs probe harshly into his eyes. Ryce’s grip loosens just enough for her to try to shuffle away, but his hand is replaced with the crowbar and he’s choking her out like she did to him.
He’s seething above her, her own hands now desperate on the bar to try to pull it off, to give herself relief. It doesn’t work, he’s overpowering in every sense and the lack of oxygen she gets makes it harder to move.
Y/N’s eyes are frantically searching for something — anything — to use to her advantage. Her line of sight falls short until she notices the large metal stapler that’s hanging off the edge of the desk. She pries her fingers out as she stretches for it, nails scratching against the metal until she’s able to flick it closer.
The second she’s able to wrap her fingers around the stapler, her arm swings and it thuds heavily against the side of Ryce’s head. Once, twice, three times.
His hold on the crowbar across her throat loosens until he drops it onto the floor. Y/N’s gasping for air, eyes wide and chest heaving as he holds the side of his head in agony.
That’s how Harry finds them — Ryce on top of her on the desk, grunting in pain and anger. He doesn’t allow him another moment to regain himself before Harry swings for the side of his face and Ryce’s body clambers to the floor and off Y/N.
She’s frantic, struggling to grasp reality as Harry reaches her. His hands find her face, gentle touch as he coos to her, promises her it’s okay and he’s got her.
She gets a look at him, bloody and bruised and his bottom lip is split and already swelling. Y/N sits up with the help of Harry at the sounds of blaring sirens and she turns to him, swallowing thickly.
“Grab the money, we need to go.”
Her gaze meets the unconscious body on the floor, anxiety still bubbling in her chest at the realisation that in a few short minutes, this could be completely over with.
Harry reaches for the bag of money when he notices the trash can on fire. He doesn’t need to ask to know she’s burned the documents. They leave the contained fire to burn as they leave the office, both hobbling and gasping for breath.
Police begin to infiltrate the gym, batons in hand and guards to their bodies — as they would for any kind of riot. There’s at least seven officers, all shouting commands to get on the ground or stay where they are.
The gym is in distress. Photo frames and trophies on shelves have been smashed and broken, weights are strewn across the floor, some clean and some with blood. Their hands all reach into the air in a form of surrender and before long, the majority of the trainers and rioters are in cuffs.
An officer approaches Y/N and Harry, quite polite as he assures them he isn’t going to cuff them unless given reason.
“A few of your friends said you two are the owners?”
Harry nods, clearing his throat. “Yeah, that’s right. We were in the office when they showed up and then a fight broke out.”
The officer squints at Y/N and she squints back, reading his name tag as Jones. He looks back to Harry.
“Who’s they?”
“Ryce, George and Scott Scavello. They’re brothers.”
Officer Jones raises an eyebrow at Y/N’s words. “You know them?”
“Uh, we’ve had some trouble with them in the past.”
Y/N’s head snaps to look at Harry, wonders what the fuck he’s going to tell the police, if it’s really a good idea to mention what they did to Sammy. Couldn’t Harry get into trouble for withholding evidence about a crime for all this time?
Jones clears his throat. “Do you wanna expand on that?”
Y/N decides to speak up again. “My brother, Sam, owned this place with Harry before he died. The Scavello brothers tried to join the gym but Sam didn’t want that kind of riffraff associated with the company. They didn’t take it well and now, I guess this is them fighting it.”
Harry watches her with fluttering eyes, slightly amazed and somewhat concerned with how easily she was able to fabricate part of the truth like that.
Officer Jones nods as he jotts down a rough summary of her words, looking to Harry in case he has anything more to offer.
He blubbers for a moment. “Uh, yeah… what she said.”
He writes a little more, turning to look over his shoulder to no doubt report anything extra he may need to. It’s only for a couple of seconds, which allows Y/N and Harry to share a look that screams don’t say anything stupid, and he’s back to facing them again.
“So, you say you’re the owners?”
Harry and Y/N nod simultaneously, eyes downcast to somewhat avoid the officers gaze. He hums, scribbling some more.
“Do you have proof of that?”
Harry nods. “Yeah, I can get you the ownership contract.”
Y/N watches meticulously, tries to work out what Officer Jones is writing by the way he scribbles but it’s no use. He taps the pen on the pad, looking around.
“Do you have any security footage? So we can confirm your story.”
Y/N looks at Harry. Do they? She hopes there isn’t a camera in the office, or else they’ll find the footage of her burning illegal evidence. But if they have cameras in the gym, isn’t that going to expose the fight nights? Her head is spinning.
“Yeah…. Niall!” Harry calls over for the blond, who quickly jogs over with a bruised eye and a cut across the bridge of his nose.
“Ni, would you mind showing Officer Jones the security footage from this evening.”
Y/N swallows thickly, watching as Niall guides Jones into the trashed office. She smacks Harry’s arm, eyes wide when he turns to her with pinched brows.
“Ouch… what was that for?”
She grits her teeth. “Why have you done that? He’s going to find all sorts on the cameras!”
Harry lets out a soft laugh and shakes his head. “We turn the cameras off at night.”
He watches her body visibly relax; shoulders slumping and eyes dropping. From their spot by the office, they can see the damage that’s been done.
Blood stains the floor in several places, gym equipment broken and there are at least seven holes in the walls that Y/N can see. She spots the brothers, all conscious now and strapped up with cuffs.
There’s a few more officers that take statements from the members of the gym, a couple of those being detained for aggravated assault and they don’t bother to argue that it was self defence. They played their part, they protected Sam’s legacy. And they know both Harry and Y/N will bail them out by morning anyway.
The adrenaline rush that she’s been on for the past week is slowly seeping from her pores. She doesn’t think she’s ever felt this exhausted in her entire life and the harsh realisation of what they’ve been through begins to hit her like a tonne of bricks.
“Harry,” she whispers softly, “I don’t think I can stay here anymore.”
He turns to her with pinched brows but her gaze is far too focused on the blank space ahead of her to realise.
“What?”
She swallows. “There’s too much pain here. Everything hurts since losing Sammy.” Her voice breaks as she speaks.
Harry blinks rapidly, trying to make sense of the situation. He thought they had something, that something genuine was forming between them and now she wants to leave? To run away?
“What about the club?”
She scoffs out a laugh, finally looking at him now. “You had it on lock this whole time.”
“Well what about me?” he argues. “What about us?”
There’s hurt in his voice and Y/N can’t help but feel confused butterflies in her stomach. Us? She never considered that there would be. Despite the two times they hooked up and the intimacy their friendship shared, she didn’t think Harry would ever want anything more. And now he’s telling her that he does?
It hurts her, deep in her soul. Because she harbours feelings for the fighter, strong feelings. But the thought of it scares her too much. What would Sammy think if he could see them now?
When she doesn’t reply, Harry speaks again.
“If you really want to leave, I’ll come with you.”
She laughs at this, and she laughs loud. Shaking her head, she looks at Harry again. That hopeful glint shines in his eyes and it breaks her heart.
“No, Harry. You barely even know me.”
“I know enough,” he retorts quickly.
Her hands find her hips as she turns her body to face his. “Harry—“
“No, come on,” he interrupts her, “Whatever this is between us is only just starting. Don’t walk out on it.”
She huffs, frustrated. “I’m not walking out on it.”
“You’ll regret it if you do. You’ll regret leaving the club and my Gran will be so heartbroken…”
“Hey,” she pouts. “Don’t bring Mary into this.”
“It’s true!”
There’s a wide smile on his lips now and one creeps its way onto Y/N’s, too. He knows what’s going on in her head — how she’s considering what he’s saying, what he’s feeling.
His gaze softens when their eyes meet again. Harry reaches for her hands, his thumbs brushing over her knuckles.
“At least think about it a little more before you decide to leave. Don’t make hasty decisions…”
“Harry…” she sighs, her smile faded to a slight grimace.
He’s right and she knows it. But it doesn’t take away the pain she feels in this town. It doesn’t make moving on from her brother's death any easier. Everything is a constant reminder of him and what happened to him.
Everything but Harry.
“Go on a date with me,” he proposes, though it’s more of a statement than a question.
Y/N’s brows raise as a smile tugs at the corners of her mouth. “What?”
“C’mon, one date. And if I can’t convince you that we have something real, and that you should stay… then I’ll understand.”
She catches her bottom lip between her teeth and weighs out her options. She could very easily decline and leave town right now, to never speak to him again or return.
But the idea of going on a date and seeing where this connection goes sounds a little more enticing. Because deep down she knows that running away won’t solve anything. It won’t make her forget the truth.
If she leaves now, she’ll never come back. And she’ll forever regret walking away from her brother's legacy and whatever her and Harry could’ve been.
He dips his head down to catch her line of sight again, a playful smirk etched onto his face as he squeezes her hands. Y/N makes her decision there and then; to not run away, but to stay and see where fate will take her.
“Fine,” she smiles. “One date.”
//
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Yours
Azul Ashengrotto x GN!Reader
Summary: Azul plans to confess his feelings for you but things keep getting in the way between him and you. What is he supposed to do?
Notes: Reader is a sophomore and is not Yuu. Azul calls you sweetheart.
A repost from my old blog @escha-evenstar. Edited.
Azul liked to think he was a man who had a plan for everything — always prepared and with a calm and confident facade. Yet he was put to the test when suddenly someone came along.
Someone who occupied his thoughts more often, making him ponder about things such as "What are you doing right now?" or "I wonder if you'd like the new menu I added."
Someone who tugged at his heartstrings whenever you'd greet him with a warm smile or engage in conversations with him, occasionally clinging on his arm.
Someone who changed something inside of Azul.
That someone was you.
He didn't expect to develop a close relationship with you. To have special moments with you. To still have you by his side despite who he was and what he did. Azul didn't plan for these things to happen. It just did.
Just like his first kiss you.
Azul's face flushed pink as he recalled that memory. Your body was pressed close against him as you held onto his arm. He turned his head around to look directly at you only to have his lips meet yours in an accidental kiss.
His slender fingers went to touch his lips as if to caress the area where you just kissed.
Your lips felt so soft and warm. I want to kiss you again.
Azul sighed. As much as he tried to lock away what was bubbling inside of him, it just couldn't be hidden away. He likes you.
No, scratch that.
He loves you. Deeply. Hopelessly. With all of his three hearts.
Azul decided he wouldn't be a coward anymore and hide away his true feelings. He was going to confess. He didn't want to stand by idly anymore while other guys took a chance for your affections. What if you accepted that person's feelings? The idea of you being in a romantic relationship with someone else did not settle right with Azul, the corner of his lips turning down into a frown and uneasiness pooling in his gut. He couldn't let that happen.
Azul wanted to be the man for you, and he was determined to make you his.
The following day after the night of your accidental first kiss, Azul would finally confess his feelings for you. For this, he already got it planned.
Invite Y/N for dinner. Azul would take you out on a private, romantic dinner at the Mostro Lounge. He would be extra particular with his appearance, wanting to look attractive and handsome for you. He would also enlist help from the eelmer twins in cooking and serving the two of you with your favorite dishes.
Start conversation. Azul would strike up a conversation with you. He would start with giving you compliments, all honest words of praise of course, before conversing with you like usual. This would keep the mood pleasant and enjoyable.
Showcase self. Azul wanted to be deserving of you. As the conversation would carry on, he would subtly showcase his strengths to prove that he was the right choice for you.
Set the mood. After finishing your meal, Azul would take you to one of your favorite sections inside his cafe. There was this open space with a huge glass wall that showed the vast waters full of underwater life that surrounded Octavinelle. The unique subaquatic plants that swayed with the current. Different species of fish swimming in various appearances and colors. You found it all serene and mesmerizing to look at. And when the moment is right..
Confess. Azul would confess and ask you to be his. And then hopefully you'll say yes.
Perfect plan, right? It would have been if only he could actually ask you out.
How could he invite you when you were always taken away from him? Every single time he'd approach you, something or someone else required your attention and you'd have to leave.
He couldn't ask you out while on your walk to school since a classmate of yours sought you out regarding your group's presentation for the day.
"Y/N, good morning. I'm sorry to bother you so early, but could I get some help for our presentation later today?"
During lunch break, Azul was waiting outside your classroom. When you were about to leave the room, someone else arrived looking for you.
"Y/N! I apologize. I understand you're supposed to have your lunch break but I'm afraid we have some urgent matters to attend to. I have already informed your Prefect, Yuu. Grim too, of course. We'll need the residents of Ramshackle Dorm for this matter. But not to worry though, since I am oh so gracious, I shall provide the three of you with hearty meals afterwards. How generous of me as Headmage, right?"
When your eyes met with his, Azul felt a certain longing. You gave him a quick apologetic smile and wave before following after the Headmage. Azul gave you a smile of his own but the moment you turned around, his facial expression showed how annoyed he actually was as he glared at the Headmage. He let out a deep sigh, trying to keep calm.
Not to worry. We share a class this afternoon so that means I'll have another opportunity. I'm definitely going to ask you out!
The first subject for the afternoon class was about to start but you still weren't around. Your usual seat beside him was feeling cold and empty.
Where were you? Did something happen?
Azul wondered since you were always punctual in class. Soon, the class professor came in bearing news.
"Mx. Y/N has been excused by the Headmage due to.."
What?!
Azul couldn't focus on what else the professor was saying. He was starting to get extremely vexed.
That Headmage, why I-
He didn't finish his thoughts as he heaved another sigh. He needed to calm down. No matter, he'll see you after school. There's still time. He's not going to miss it.
The last class with Professor Trein drawled on a bit longer than usual.
Why now of all times?
Azul sighed for the umpteenth time that day, his pen tapping impatiently on his desk. He glowered a bit as he waited for class to end. As soon as they were dismissed for the day, he immediately rushed over to your classroom. When he saw that most of the students from your class already left, Azul clicked his tongue in displeasure.
Did you leave already?
"Oh, hey Azul!" A bright, cheery voice spoke breaking Azul from his thoughts. "Are you looking for Y/N?"
It was Kalim who spoke.
"Hello, Kalim. And yes, I am looking for Y/N. Have you seen them?" Azul asked.
"Y/N was actually here a few minutes ago. They were waiting for you."
Upon hearing Kalim's words, Azul felt his heart race a bit faster.
"But then someone suddenly asked them out. They said they wanted to talk in private."
Wait. What?
"If you need them, they went around that way," Kalim said as he pointed to a direction where he saw them leave.
Azul thanked him and then briskly walked away to find you.
Upon arriving at the courtyard, he finally saw you. Your school uniform that accentuated your body and fitted you perfectly. Your (h/l) (h/c) hair fluttering with the soft breeze. And your eyes. Your beautiful (e/c) eyes that mirrored your pure heart and soul. You looked so ethereal in this moment that Azul thought of confessing right then and there.
Except there was another guy in the scene with you.
"I've always liked you Y/N! Will you go out me?" He said.
Azul felt something inside him snap.
Ever since this day started, Azul couldn't get ahold of your time and company. He just wanted to ask you out for dinner, was that so wrong? He sought you out all day long yet every damn single time someone took you away. Sevens, it's like they were testing him. Pushing him beyond his limits. And at this point, he was more than just frustrated. He was seething with resentment.
Azul has had enough and he's not letting anyone or anything get in his way.
With long, heavy strides, he made his way over to you.
You were confused. One minute, someone was confessing to you. The next, you were suddenly pulled away by a different person and lead somewhere else. You tried to keep up with his pace as you recalled what just happened.
"Oh. Uhm.. I'm flattered you think of me like that.. but I'm sorry. I can't return your feelings," you apologized to the student who just confessed to you. He opened his mouth to speak some more when someone cut in, immediately holding you by your wrist.
"I believe your conversation is now over. We're leaving." It was Azul who came in, eyes glaring at the guy coldly before he proceeded to drag you away.
And now here you were in this situation. He'd been pulling at you for quite some time now. You asked him what was going on, but he'd only squeeze your wrist. It wasn't enough to really hurt you but it was like he was wordlessly saying "just follow me".
Is Azul angry? Did something happen?
You continued to follow after him, deciding to not speak momentarily until you reached your destination. Along the way, a number of students looked at the two of you curiously. With the way his cold, blue eyes stared ahead, and his walk, although slower compared to earlier (upon your request), still brisk enough as he tugged at you to follow him. When someone you knew would try to come close to you, you'd feel Azul tighten his grip on you.
I guess he doesn't want any interruptions. He seems to be in a rush and in a really bad mood.
So you'd just wave at them with a nervous smile as the two of you continued walking.
Azul lead you to Octavinelle, specifically to the Mostro Lounge. You also noticed he took you to your favorite spot.
He finally stopped walking and let go of your wrist, turning around to look at you. He wasn't saying anything though; he's just staring at you. When you looked at his eyes, the coldness that was there earlier was gone. Instead, you saw all sorts of intense emotions reflecting in them.
"Azul..?" You called out his name softly. "Uhm.. if there's something bothering you.."
A lot actually bothered me today.
You took a single step towards him. "Or if there's anything you want to say.."
There's a lot really.
You moved even closer, hands raised to touch his glasses. "Or if you need me.."
I do need you.
You stopped just a few inches from him and completely removed his glasses, looking directly into his blue eyes. "I'm right here for you."
The both of you looked fixedly at each other. Staring with such intimacy, gaze filled with love and tenderness.
"Y/N," He called out your name in his smooth, charming voice as he caressed your cheek. It made your knees feel weak.
"Y-yes?" You stuttered.
He slowly drew your body towards him; an arm wrapped around your waist, your chest in contact with his, as Azul's other hand cradled your face to look up at him. You felt the familiar heat rise on your cheeks, tinting them with a pink blush. Your grip around his glasses loosened as it slipped away, landing on the floor with a soft clink. Your hands unconsciously settled on top of his chest because of the close proximity. The two of you stuck in a staring contest.
It was like time was frozen. Your gorgeous (e/c) eyes that shone like the stars, looking so nervous. The blush dusting your cheeks. Azul thought you looked so pretty and cute he couldn't help but chuckle, causing your face to flush a darker shade of red.
"Azul," you whined, pouting. You thought he was teasing you again.
But the way you moved your lips like that made Azul want to do something. He started leaning down closer to your face.
Every second like this made your heart thump in nervousness, feeling completely flustered.
"Sweetheart?" He said so softly, his special endearment for you tugging at your own heartstrings.
"..yes?" You whispered with shaky breaths.
Azul's face was so close with your own you could feel his breath on your lips. With his eyes half lidded and his voice low and hushed, he muttered his deepest, most genuine feelings for you. "I love you."
Before you knew it, his lips crashed onto yours in a heartfelt kiss. Your eyes flew shut, kissing him back and savoring the feeling of his soft lips against yours.
The kiss felt sweet yet passionate at the same time. As if you were both conveying your ineffable, overflowing feelings for each other through the kiss.
Oh sevens, it feels so amazing!
Your hands gripped onto his uniform coat while Azul pulled you tighter to him, both not wanting to let go of the other. He kissed you with so much fervor you felt like you were going to melt from all the affection you were receiving.
A moment afterwards, you reluctantly pulled away and broke the kiss. The two of you stared at each other lovingly in silence. The only sounds to be heard were the heavy breathing and the loud beating of your heart.
"Please be mine."
You were rendered speechless. Azul's voice was laced with so much love and need for you. He wanted you. He desired you.
"I'll give you anything you want. I'll do anything for you. Anything! I love you so much, Y/N. So please.. stay with me and be mine."
You felt your eyes start to water from his words before tears escaped from the corners of your eye, dripping down on your face.
"Sweetheart?" Azul became worried.
Did I just make you cry? Did you perhaps not feel the same-
You held both sides of his face and pulled him down to you for another kiss. Azul was dazed for a second before he relaxed and eagerly kissed you back.
"I love you too, Azul. So much," you said in between kisses with tears of happiness pouring out of your eyes. "Of course I'll be yours."
When he finally heard you say those words he'd been yearning for, his eyes widened in shock. "You mean it?" He asked in disbelief to which you nodded at his question.
"You really do?!"
You giggled at his reaction. "Of course I do. You don't know how long I waited for you, Azul. And it makes me so happy to know you feel the same way." You stroked his cheek affectionately. "I'll always be yours, Azul," you said while beaming at him with your bright smile.
The corners of his mouth curved into a wide grin. Azul didn't like relying on luck but right now, he felt like the luckiest man in the entire Twisted Wonderland. Because someone like you loved him back with all of your heart. He gave you a sweet peck on the lips before saying, "And I'll forever be yours, Y/N."
Meanwhile..
Earlier after classes ended.
"Jamil! How are you? You're later than usual," said Kalim.
"It's fine. Professor Trein's discussion for today was just longer than usual," Jamil replied. "Anyways, I saw Azul walking out in a rush. He also actually left class the same way. Did something happen between him and Y/N?"
"It's not what did happen. More like, what will happen." Someone joined in on the conversation; it was Jade.
"What do you mean by that? Is Azul up to something?" Riddle asked suspiciously.
"Hahahaha! It's nothing like that, Goldfishie," a singsong voice piped in.
Riddle's eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. "I told you not to call me by that nickname, Floyd."
Floyd just laughed away and ignored his remark. "Hehe~ Are you guys curious what's gonna happen?" A teasing smile graced his face.
"I don't think Azul will be happy if we told them," Jade said as if disagreeing with his twin brother, although his eyes meant otherwise.
"Bah! They're gonna find out sooner or later anyways."
Jamil spoke, "I couldn't care less what Azul does but if it's related to Y/N... what is it then?"
Floyd's eyes crinkled as he grinned. "Azul is.."
"Is what? Is what?" Kalim asked eagerly.
"..going to confess to Y/N!!"
There was a pause, before the three shouted in unison.
"EEHHH?!?!"
Riddle, Jamil, and Kalim were shocked, processing what they just heard.
"Well, I know that Azul expends a great amount of effort on everything that he does. If he will do the same in making Y/N happy, then I have no objections. But if he ever hurts her," Riddle said in a stern voice. "It will be off with his head!!"
Jamil sighed. "Well.. I guess as long as he treats her right, I'll be okay with that."
Meanwhile, Kalim was still silent.
"Kalim, are you alright?" Jade asked.
"Huh? Oh, yeah. Totally! It's just-" Kalim chuckled while rubbing the back of his head.
"I thought they were already dating."
Masterlist here!
If you enjoyed this: likes, comments, and reblogs are much appreciated. Thank you for reading!
#azul ashengrotto#azul ashengrotto x reader#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#escha's writings🍰
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and i wonder... who? [5]
somehow, you find yourself torn between the two hottest guys at your school and you have no idea who to choose.
loosely based off of operation: true love where geto is eunhyeuk and gojo is dohwa :)
a/n: sooooo satosugu won the poll so this is officially a satosugu x reader series! (just might be a bit of slowwww burnnn)
pairing: geto suguru x f!reader, gojo satoru x f!reader, satosugu x f!reader
tag list: @username23356-blog - @anxious-chick - @novacaneformybrain - @mandysfanfics - @rottmntrulesall - @voiceofnoreturn - @rh-tg1 - @ky0mybeloved - @black-swan-blog27 - @ladytamayolover - @the8ate - @maybe-a-bi-with - @dudalo100 - @reese-is-right - @6lonely-town6 - @its-a-damn-blue-brick - @kimi01985 - @dorusken - @siimp4youu - @catobsessedlady - @paper--angel - @animechick555 - @meshiinuma - @xxannyxx - @kaeyaviado - @kochochan-shinobulvrrs - @ichikanu - @valeriinee
let me know if you'd like to added!
also i still don't know how to fix the tags - it works in editing but doesn't link some when i post it. if anyone knows how to fix this, please let me know!
It was hot.
Blindingly so.
Still, you refused to take off your sweater even if you desperately wanted to. You were just thankful that your school allowed you to wear sweaters and hoodies over top of uniforms without getting in trouble for it and although normally that was something you only had to worry about in the winter, you had no choice but to today.
If you took off your sweater, then people would see the finger-sized marks across your arms from Sukuna yesterday and really, you just didn’t have the energy to deal with the questions that would inevitably follow. Nor did you want to… let it escalate any further. Sure, you’d managed to get away yesterday and had somehow gained the courage to make your breakup clear to Sukuna, but it didn't erase the fact that he’d scared you last night. And you didn’t want to imagine what would happen if somehow people got word that the bruises on your arms were from him.
It was over, anyways. You’d done it. You’d broken up with him and could now move on from him.
Move on with your life.
“You look hot,” Shoko comments from beside you, regarding you with a raised brow. “Why are you wearing a sweater when it’s blistering hot outside?”
Meeting her eyes, you shrug. “It isn’t that hot.”
“You’re sweating,” she deadpans.
Biting your lip, you choose to ignore the fact that she is very much correct. Your sweater is sticking to your skin from the obnoxious sun that is beating right over your head and the need to relieve some of the heat is more than tempting. But the sight of Sukuna running past you, meeting his dark and intimidating eyes just briefly, reminds you of why you’re keeping your sweater on.
“I just finished running,” you explain which, you guessed, wasn’t completely a lie. You were sweating because you’d just finished running but you were sweating a lot because of that and the fact that you were wearing a sweater… Shoko didn’t need to know that though.
Meeting her eyes from the corner of your own, you nod to yourself. “I’m actually a little cold.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Y-Yeah,” you breathe, fighting the urge to break under her intense stare. You didn’t even need to be looking directly at her to feel the intensity of it – if there was one thing Shoko was good at, it was seeing through your every lie. You figured that talent came with knowing you for as long as she had… still didn’t make it any less scary thought.
“Like a cold sweat.”
It’s clear she doesn’t believe you, the suspicious gaze in her eyes never wavering but she has the decency to leave it at that.
You’re incredibly thankful for that fact.
“So, you really did break it off with Ryoumen, huh?”
The two of you are standing by the bleachers while the boys have their turn playing soccer, as per your teachers instructions. The game has been going on for about five minutes now (you only just finally feeling like you’re not about to pass out) and you’ve been spending those five minutes idly chatting with Shoko and desperately trying not to ogle Geto who looks a little too good on the field right now.
Seriously, when did you start to find him attractive?
It wasn’t like you didn’t know he was attractive — of course you did. The whole female population of your school knew that Geto Suguru was attractive. You’re pretty sure he had his own little fanclub of girls that followed him around and you swear you’ve caught one of them asking him out in the hallway more times than you care to admit. So yes, objectively, you knew Geto was attractive. Incredibly attractive.
But you hadn’t really paid any of that mind until now.
It was like a fact. A statement. It hadn’t had any impact on you previously, and yet, here you were, practically drooling at the sight of him.
“–Hello? Y/N?”
A hand falls on your shoulder, the sudden touch making you jump as your eyes snap to Shoko. She’s staring back at you in concern, head tilted and brows furrowed as you blink over at her.
“I asked you a question?”
Had she?
Eyes briefly glancing back at Geto before focusing on her, you rub the back of your neck.
“Whoops,” you mumble bashfully, “sorry. What was it again? I… spaced out.”
Rolling her eyes, Shoko just snorts; “I asked if you really did break things off with Sukuna.”
“Oh!” Your eyes instantly brighten up, turning to face her fully. “I did!”
Shoko grins; “yes!” Pumping her fist in the air, she turns to you. “I’ve literally been waiting for you to do that forever.”
Rolling your eyes, you just snort. “I know, I know,” you wave her off, before pausing. You had no intention of telling her about how angry Sukuna had gotten, but it would be good to get it off your chest even a little. You just wouldn’t mention the bruise thing—besides, Shoko had said she wanted every little detail.
So, turning to her, you grin; “it was so awkward though and—”
“Shoko!”
Lips left parted in the middle of your sentence, both you and Shoko glance behind her, only to see a group of girls from another class waving at her to grab her attention. The excitement on your face fades somewhat at that, leaning back on your feet as Shoko waves back at them before glancing over at you apologetically,
“I—”
“It’s all good,” you brush off before she can apologize, waving her concern away. “Go. I’ll wait here for you.”
Shoko hesitates. “Are you sure?”
Shaking your head, you squeeze her shoulder; “of course. Go.”
With one more hesitant glance your way, Shoko nods, mouthing a ‘thank you’ before making her way over. You watch her for a moment longer before letting your eyes fall around, eyes momentarily meeting Sukuna’s and swiftly turning your head away, you move, making your way over to the bleachers on the side of the field. A few of the other girls from your class have sat down, chatting amongst themselves, and with nothing better to do, you take a seat near a corner, pulling your legs to your chest and opting to simply watch the boys.
You knew Shoko cared about you, just like you cared about her but it sucked knowing that some of the other girls wanted to be her friend but didn’t want to be yours. Anytime you’d tried to talk with her other friends before, it had just been awkward. And not something you wanted to repeat.
Sighing, you let your head fall on top of your knees.
At least you could watch Geto with no interruptions now.
“Boo!”
Or not…
Flickering your gaze to the right, your lips part when you realize it’s Gojo sitting beside you.
“Gojo!”
With a wide grin and a wink, Gojo offers you a wave.
You glance around before settling back on him, baffled. “What are you doing here?”
“Uh… here for gym class?” Gojo explains with a snort, using his thumb to point behind him and following his direction, your lips part when you see a group of girls occupying the field next to the one you’re sitting in front of. Focusing back on Gojo and the line sheen of sweat covering his skin, you put the pieces together.
“Oh,” your lips form a ‘o’, “I forgot other classes had gym at the same time as us.” Cheeks warming, you bite your lip, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear in embarrassment.
Gojo takes a moment to eye you before laughing; “you’re weird, you know that?”
Lips parting in offense, you shove at his shoulder; “that’s rude!”
“No,” Gojo laughs, your shove barely moving him an inch, “what’s rude is you calling me Gojo.”
Confused, you turn to him; “is that not your name?”
“It is,” he assures, “but it’s too formal. I thought I made it clear; call me Satoru.”
You’re sure your face grows hot at that.
“B-But! That’s too friendly!” You argue, waving your hands in front of you widely. “We only just started talking and—”
“And we’re already close,” Gojo cuts in, smiling cheekily. “So what’s the problem?”
Shoulders slumping, you just frown at him. “You’re ridiculous.”
Gojo just takes the insult in stride, leaning in close so his face is right in front of yours. You instinctively lean back, surprised by his sudden closeness as you press against the side of the bleachers. It doesn’t seem to bother Gojo who only grows closer; you can feel his side press into your arm and his leg knock into your folded one, not to mention all you can see is those bright, beautiful blue eyes staring at you.
“U-um…—”
“And you’re adorable.”
Okay, now you’re sure you’re red in the face.
“G-Gojo–!”
“Satoru,” he cuts in, waving his finger at you. “Repeat after me. Sa-To-Ru.”
You stare back at him, wishing he’d back up even a little because he was too close and it was making you feel a way you didn't know how to react to. You’d already been sweating because of the damn sweater before, but now you probably look like a hot mess and your mind is running a mile a minute just to come up with something to say.
“Come on,” Gojo sings softly, voice low so only you can hear but still sweet and soft. “Say it.”
Lips parting, you ignore the racing of your heart; “Sa… Satoru.”
With a sudden jump, he’s pulled back, sitting up straight next to you as he grins wide, ear to ear; “see?” He exclaims, “that wasn’t so hard. It’s much better if you just call me by my first name, kay, Y/N?”
You’re frazzled. You know you’re frazzled. Even though Gojo has leaned back like you wanted him to, your heart is still racing and you feel flushed.
Was it just your imagination or had he also smelled really good?
“O-okay.”
Pleased by your answer, Gojo finally lets his eyes wander down, pausing when he sees what you’re wearing.
“Aren’t you warm?”
Oh god… not this again.
“No,” you deny with a shake of your head, hugging yourself. “I’m perfectly fine.”
Gojo just quirks a brow. “You look warm.” He states bluntly.
You huff — what was with everyone questioning you on wearing a damn sweater? Was it that hard to believe?
“For your information—”
You stop what you’re saying the second a shadow falls over you, completely blocking the sun from falling over you. Confused, you turn, only to pause when you see it’s Geto. You blink at the sight of him, confused, not having expected to see him, glancing over his shoulder to the field to see, like you thought, the rest of the boys are still playing and yet…
“Geto—”
“Did you bring my hoodie?”
His voice is harsh. Harsher than you expected. By the way he falters the second he meets your eyes properly, you figure he didn’t mean to sound that angry but you’re still confused as to why he even would be in the first place.
Was he upset you hadn’t given him the hoodie back earlier?
You also have not failed to notice how still Gojo is beside you suddenly.
“U-Um… Yeah, it’s in my bag. One sec.”
Reaching behind you to grab your bag, you’re oblivious to the way Gojo and Geto glare at each other, each with a certain fierceness and determination in their gaze before swiftly glancing away the second you turn back around.
“Here,” you call, smiling up at Geto as you extend his folded sweater to his awaiting hands. “I made sure it didn’t have any stains on it or anything after I washed, so it should be good. Thank you again for letting me borrow it.”
Geto’s face eases as he meets your eyes and he smiles softly; “it’s no problem. Thank you for washing it.” Then, as if almost an afterthought, he adds; “I’m sorry I couldn’t stay longer at your place to wait for it.”
You miss the way Gojo straightens at that.
“Oh, no!” You brush off, shaking your head. “I’m sorry you had to even give it to me in the first place.”
“Um,” Gojo cuts in, pulling your eyes on him with a blink as he shifts his gaze from Geto to you, offering you a somewhat tight-lipped smile. “Why did you have Geto’s hoodie in the first place?”
You’re a little confused as to why he cares, but—
“I accidentally spilled my soda on her and it made her shirt see-through and she was cold, so I offered it to her.”
Well, he didn’t need to go into that kind of detail—
“Oh?” Gojo asks, but something about his tone sounds strained and tense. “Is that so?”
Lips parting, you watch as the two of them glare at each other.
“U-um,” you speak up nervously, shifting forward; both of their eyes instantly fall on you, features softening. “Do you two… not like each other or something?”
The two glance at each other again.
Gojo’s the first to speak up; “not particularly.”
“We’ve never gotten along,” Geto elaborates. “That’s all.”
“I see…” You mumble, before your eyes brighten with a sudden idea; “well, hey! There's always a first, right?”
And the answer is clear to them both;
No way in hell.
Still, for you, they hesitate.
“Maybe,” Geto shrugs, brushing a bit of sweat off his forehead.
Gojo sighs dramatically; “if I’d have to.”
You’re oblivious to it all — eyes twinkling with excitement, you smile brightly. Truly, a brilliant idea has come to mind.
“Isn’t that amusement park opening up soon? I think… this weekend?” You ask, “you two should go together!”
Geto and Gojo frown at one another.
If there’s one thing the two of them can agree upon, it’s that that seems like the worst idea.
The two of them? Alone? At an amusement park?
What could honestly possess you to think that’s a good idea?
Geto, however, looks at you a moment later and smirks, clearly proud of himself; “I dunno about him, but I’d go with you.” And he sends a smug grin Gojo’s way, clearly thinking he’d effectively worked his way around not only having to disappoint you by saying no to your original idea but, getting you to go with him instead.
Gojo gasps, as if thoroughly offended.
“Really?” Your eyes brighten.
Geto smiles, nodding.
“Then let’s go!” You exclaim excitedly and Geto is just about to turn to Gojo with a victory smirk, before you add; “the three of us! When are you guys free next?”
Wait–what?
-
Geto is not really sure how he got himself into this situation.
Like really – how?
“She’s late.”
Pressing a hand to his forehead, Geto resists the urge to let his annoyance get the best of him. But really–truly–he was at his final straw.
“You’ve said that three times,” Geto grumbles, offering a quick glance beside him at the white-haired bastard that just couldn’t help but take you up on your offer. Then, imagine Geto’s surprise when he shows up at your agreed upon time just to see that you hadn’t shown up yet but Gojo had—and Geto’s pretty sure that the guy was normally late to everything. Late to class, late to tests, meetups, hangouts, etc. so of course it was just his luck that today is the day Gojo decides he’s going to show up on time.
And you aren’t.
Letting out a whine, Gojo pushes off the wall he’d been leaning against, moving until he’s directly beside Geto and the two of them are now staring out at the entrance way, waiting for you.
“It’s true, though,” Gojo mumbles, and Geto can distinctly see him pouting out of the corner of his eye. “She’s ten minutes late.”
Geto just huffs.
“What exactly is your problem?” Gojo asks instantly, and Geto can feel him shift to face him. “You’ve been glaring at me this entire time.”
Feeling that final straw snap, Geto spins to face Gojo in return, narrowed eyes focusing in on his own as Geto shakes his head. “You aren’t supposed to be here.”
Gojo just laughs; “I was invited, wasn’t I?”
Crossing his arms over his chest, Geto scoffs; “not by me.”
“Still butt hurt that Y/N invited me along?” Gojo taunts, looking entirely too smug as he steps closer to Geto. Gojo might be shorter, but only by an inch, and it isn’t hard for him to size Geto up just as easily as Geto is trying to size him up. “You think I’m all that happy about you being here either?”
“Then leave?” Geto questions, as if that was the obvious answer–which, obviously, it was. “I’m the one who asked Y/L/N first so really, you aren’t needed here whatsoever.”
Gojo just leans back; “if I left I’d be doing exactly what you want. Last I checked, Y/N does want me here.”
Feeling his head hurt and his body tense, Geto shoves at his shoulder; “what’s with the lack of formality? You refer to Y/L/N so casually, I didn’t realize you guys were that close.” Pausing in thought (for dramatic effect), Geto glowers at Gojo. “Last I checked, Y/L/N didn’t even know who you were before a couple days ago.”
“What?” Gojo raises a brow challengingly, “jealous we’re close enough that she calls me ‘Satoru’?” Shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants, Gojo leans back. “She says it so prettily, too, don’t you think? I mean, I absolutely love the way she says my name.
He truly was unbelievable. Geto didn’t realize there could be someone who pissed him off so damn much… He’s never really liked the guy, and despite the fact that for most of his life Geto has unfortunately gone to the same school as Gojo, his level of hatred was reaching a height it never had before.
Before, Gojo was just some annoying guy Geto didn’t bother to pay attention to. Not if he didn’t have to.
He can still remember the way he’d felt seeing the two of you laughing and talking that day on the bleachers – Geto was positive that he’s never seen the two of you talk before and certainly not enough to warrant such a friendly interaction. If Geto hadn’t calmed himself down before, he was sure he’d have made a fool out of himself when he interrupted the two of you but taking the calm approach seemed to have it’s rewards and Geto will never forget the look of stunned disbelief on Gojo’s face when you handed him his hoodie.
He’d definitely have to give you his clothes more – this time, have you wear them where everyone could see.
And then he’d thought he’d perfectly worked his way around your silly suggestion of hanging with Gojo – and then you just had to go and invite Gojo with the two of you?
Geto didn’t realize you could be so oblivious.
Honestly—he’d told himself he’d try to play nice with Gojo, for you. Even if Gojo was there, it didn’t change Geto’s plan of trying to woo you and catch your attention. If Gojo wanted to hang back as a third wheel then that was his choice, Geto wasn’t going to let that stop him from making a move on you.
But really, he was at his limit.
He couldn’t even think of ‘playing nice’ with Gojo when he was this egotistical.
Inhaling sharply, Geto moves to take a step towards Gojo, Gojo straightening out in response, before your familiar voice calls out;
“Ooh! I’m so sorry!”
Both Geto and Gojo freeze at the sound of your voice, eyes shifting to fall on you as you come to a slow step before them. You’re panting, pressing a hand to your chest as you try to catch your breath, making it clear you’d run here, but what really catches Geto’s attention is what you’re wearing.
A flowery, pink sundress. It had cute puffy sleeves and the material bunched around your chest with a bow, with the length of the skirt stopping just above your knees. It swayed gently in the wind, brushing upwards to show the faintest hint of your upper thighs. The whole outfit was put together with some accessories, cute sandals and a hairstyle Geto had never seen you wear at school before.
Geto, despite himself, feels his cheeks grow pink, a flush hitting him as he quickly glances away from you to situate himself. It wasn’t like he hadn’t thought you were pretty before (that was abundantly clear given his actions) but it was a little different seeing you in something other than your school uniform. And, technically, the arcade hadn’t counted—given that he’d dumped soda all over your blouse before he could properly take in what you were wearing.
A quick glance at Gojo tells him his reaction isn’t that much different.
“My mom needed my help with something and I completely lost track of time!” You explain, turning to them with a worried expression as you finally manage to catch your breath properly. “Were you guys waiting for long?”
“Not at all–!”
“No–!”
Lips left parted, Geto glares at Gojo out of the corner of his eye—Gojo returns it with ease.
“O-Oh,” you mumble, briefly glancing at the both of them in confusion before taking a step towards them. “Well, then… should we get going?”
Without hesitation, Geto steps forward before Gojo has the chance to and flashes a soft smile in your direction; “let’s go.”
#jjk#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x reader#getou suguru x reader#getou suguru#geto suguru x reader#satosugu#satosugu x reader#gojo x reader#getou x reader#otl#operation: true love
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Dragons and Roses Part 2 - Aegon II x Y/N Tyrell (Reader)
Summary: You are Helaena's childhood friend, your job at court is it to entertain the princess and be a friend to her. Your life is actually quite pleasant, and even her brother is no longer so unbearable for you. You would even call Aegon your friend. But everything changes and you slowly realize that your idyllic life in the Reed Keep isn't so idyllic after all. Everything you've been holding on to and belives in begins to crumble. (Part 2/ 3)
Words: 18.846
Warnings: canon typical violence, canon typical misogyny, enemies to friends to lovers, slow burn, angst, family problems, Viserys I is an ass and a bad father,
and as always english is not my native language// no beta reader so all mistakes are mine // GIF not mine.
A/N: Actually, the story should go in a completely different direction. The plan was to have a short enemys to lovers without a big subplot. That did not work. Because Part 2 is was geting too long and I still have ideas, there will be a Part 3. Anyways have fun :)
You can also read this on AO3
Part 1
The next few weeks are, to your surprise, more pleasant than you could have imagined. The weather is beautiful, the sun is shining and the temperatures are mild. You spend a lot of time with Helaena outside, picnicking, reading or sitting in the shadows under the trees and listening to musicians.
But this morning you spent with Aegon. He tried to convince you to visit Sunfyre but you refused to visit the monsters in the Dragonpit. He had laughed briefly about your fear, but then he accepted your decision. Aegon is really trying to be a friend. He's nice to you and his sister, holds back his drinking and fornication, doesn't make any more bitchy comments, and you've discovered that underneath his arrogant facade is an intelligent, witty young man. Even if it took you a while to get used to his humor.
Now you walk back to Helaena's chambers. You open the door but than stop in surprise. You expected to find her alone, but it's not just the Queen who's here, it's Grand Maester Orwyle too. Helaena sits on her bed.
"Your Grace. " you say and sink into a curtsy befor the Queen.
“Lady Y/N good to have you here. ” says the Queen after she makes a hand gesture so you can stand up again. Worried you look over to Helaena, but she smiles to your relief. She waves you over to her, quickly you go to her and sit down next to her on the soft bed, she turns to you and you reach for her hand.
"Are you all right?" She told you a few days ago that she was feeling sick and you also notice that she wasn´t fit the last few days. A bit more tired then usually.
“Yes. The master says I’m pregnant. ” Surprised, you look at her and then you manage to force a smile on your face.
“How beautiful. ” You don't even know if you're serious. Your first thought is about the bruises on her body. But then you try to remember that Aegon is trying to do better.
“Yes, really good news. An heir to the throne. ” says Master Orwyle. You raise your eyebrows, Princess Rhaenyra has enough male heirs, it is unlikely that Aegon and his children will inherit the Iron Throne. But then the memory of the princes appears before your inner eye, with their dark eyes and hair, you remember all the rumours about the descent of the boys.
"Send for the King and Prince Aegon. " Says the Queen as she send a maid on her way.
“Are you happy?” you ask Helaena.
“I hope everything will be okay,” she answers evasively, but she smiles.
“My medical advice will be bed rest in the near future, especially in the early stages of pregnancy. ” says Master Orwyle, more to the Queen than to Helaena. You look outside and you can hardly suppress a sigh. You probably won't be able to enjoy the nice weather anymore. But maybe you could finally finish reading the Dornish fairy tales, the thick book has been untouched on the table for days now.
The doors of the chambers are opened and Aegon enters, his cheeks still a little red from the sun outside. “I was just on my way to Sunfyre. ”He says to his mother and sounds a bit like a child who has been forbidden to play his favorite game.
“There is something more important than your dragon. ” answer the Queen.
"And what?"
“You will find out as soon as your father gets here.”
Aegon just rolls his eyes. “What does he want? Wait it doesn’t matter, I don´t care. ” Queen Alicent sighs at his tone and shakes her head disapprovingly. Aegon looks around for a moment, then grabs the wine on the table and falls on the chair. He just seems to notice the presence of the Maester and he looks to his sister in bed. “Did something happen? Are you sick?” his voice no longer sounds so bored, but also hardly worried. You give him an angry look, but he only smiles at you for a moment.
"Aegon. . . " begins the Queen with suppressed anger in her voice, but she is interrupted when the door opens again and the King and Lord Hightower, the King's Hand, enter.
“What’s going on?” Helaena’s grandfather asks, even he sounds more concerned than Aegon.
“Good news. ” answer the Queen and look at Helaena with a smile. Aegon is also a bit curious.
“I am pregnant. ” answer Helaena now and smiles at her father, you can see in her eyes that she wants a positive reaction from him. The King nods and a slight smile appears on his face.
"Good. That’s good news. " He says, and then pats Aegon firmly on the shoulder. “Well done, my boy. ” Aegon twists his face and twitches away from his father. All the colour is gone from his face and his hand is cramped around his cup of wine. The King nods to Helaena once more, then he leaves the chambers again, the King's hand follows him on his foot. You see tears rising into Helena's eyes, but she blinks them bravely away. You squeeze her hand a little tighter.
“Can I go?” Aegon asks his mother.
“Yes.“ the Queen sounds tired. Aegon gets up and almost runs from the room. You want to run after him to complain about his behavior, but you know Helaena needs you right now, so you stay seated next to her on the bed.
"Is Father happy?"
The Queen takes a few deep breaths and blinks away tears, then she comes to you and sits on Helaena's other side. She, too, reaches for her hand.
“Of course. He’s overjoyed.” She says it with a forced smile. You can see in her face that she's fighting but she manages to keep that smile on her face. For her daughter.
The maester says goodbye after a moment and promises that his assistant will bring a tea for Helaena, which strengthens mother and son. How does he know that the child will become a son? The Queen talks a little more about her pregnancies and that everything was very simple and went well, while she strokes Helaena's hair. You sit in silence with both of them and just listen. You know little about pregnancies, only the horror stories about bleeding, dying mothers who are left in childbed while fathers celebrate the birth of their sons and heirs. But of course you don't say anything. Helaena is a princess, she will get the best medical care. But even that couldn't save the king's first wife, is it true that he had her cut open to save the prince? A prince who lived only a few hours. You don't want to think about a long-dead Queen and focus on Helaena and the Queen's words about how beautiful it is to be a mother and how happy Helaena will be when she holds her child in her arms. It is getting late and at some point the Queen calls for the maids for Helaena. You rise from the soft bed, your back hurts a little because you have been sitting for so long, yet you stretch your back and smooth the skirt of your dress.
“Are you staying here tonight?” Helaena suddenly asks you. The memories of your childhood come up, countless times you slept in Helena's bed. One night she'd whispered in the dark that her dreams were scaring her, but when you're with her, she knows nothing bad can happen. You were so young then. Maybe 8 or 9. Helaena didn't understand her dreams then, probably she still doesn't. But after her marriage to Aegon, he threw you out of her room one night, drunk, and from then on, your sleepovers became less frequent until they stopped. You look at the Queen, she nods and smiles at you.
“Yes, of course. ” you then answer Helaena.
You toss restlessly on the soft mattress. Somehow you can't find sleep, repeatedly you startle from short half-sleep phases. But you don't know why, your thoughts revolve around nothing in particular. You just have a bad feeling, even if you don't understand why. You hear the door open and when it quietly closes again you sit straight in bed. Helaena next to you turns to the other side, but she continues to sleep. You try to look through the curtains in front of her bed, a candle is lit and a figure appears. Quickly you jump out of bed, all your muscles are tense and you breathe to call for the guards, but then you recognize Aegon.
“What are you doing here?” he twitches in fright, his hand twitches to his side, probably to pull a Dagger or something like this, but then he recognizes you. He falls on one of the chairs at the table. You approach him and are glad that the candle gives little light, because as your bare feet step from the carpet onto the cold stone floor, you realize that you are only wearing your nightgown. You notice how the blush shoots in your cheeks but Aegon doesn't seem to notice your outfit or your shame.
“I didn’t expect you here. Aemond, maybe not you. ” he whispers as you sit at the table next to him. Now that you're close to him, you can smell the beer and the wine and the sweat hanging from his clothes. He had most likely spent the night in Flea Bottom.
“What do you mean? Why Aemond?” you say, pulling your eyebrows together, which makes Aegon laugh. He's really drunk.
“It was a joke, little rose.” he says and looks over the table at you.
“Why are you making such jokes?” the night had not been very relaxing for you until now, and his presence here confuses you. Did he want to claim his marital rights? Helaena says he only does that when he's drunk. Aegon shrugs his shoulders, the darkness makes it hard to see his facial expressions.
“Maybe it’s because sometimes I wish Mother had married them. Maybe she’d be happier then.” his words hang between you and you don't know what to say. The silence almost becomes unpleasant, but then Aegon turns his head to the bed. “How is she?”
“Why the sudden worry?” you can still remember his lack of interest in the afternoon.
“I’m always worried about her, she’s my sister.” then he looks up to you and puts a finger on his lips. “But pssh little Rose, I don’t want anyone to know. I have a reputation to lose. ”
You roll your eyes at what he says. “She’s fine, she’s worried if everything will be fine. But your mother says its normal to worry and everything will be alright.”
Aegon nods and you are silent for a moment, then he gets up with a swing. Surprised by his sudden movement and the elegance in it, even though he's obviously had too much to drink, you look up to him.
“Sleep well, little Rose.”
“I am not a little rose. ” you answer, but he just laughs softly again. “Good night, little prince.” Then you answer to annoy him a little, but immediately you regret it. Maybe you got too brave in front of him. Immediately, fear of his anger rises up in you. But Aegon only laughs quietly again and then sneaks out of the room. You sigh, blow out the candle in front of you and go back to bed. Maybe you can get some sleep before the sun comes up again.
To celebrate the pregnancy, the King organizes a large hunting party. For whatever reason, neither Helaena nor Aegon are interested in hunting. The King doesn't seem to care. So a few days later, you're sitting next to Helaena in the stuffy carriage on the way to the Kingswood. The curtains in front of the windows are closed so that the sun does not shine inside and you count the minutes until you can leave the stuffy vehicle again. Even Helaena next to you is in a bad mood.
“I wish we could have stayed at the Red Keep. ” she say and play with the fringes of the pillow next to her. “Whether I’m sitting in my rooms or in a tent. Mother didn’t even allow me to bring Dreamfyre. ”
“You are not allowed to ride your dragon until the baby is born. ” you repeat the Queen's words. Helaena rolls her eyes.
“Aegon and Aemond also come on Sunfyre and Vhagar. ”
“You know very well that this is counterproductive, the two dragons are going to scare away all the venison. It’s not going to be a successful hunt. ”
Helaena just shrugs her shoulders. The carriage stumbles and you get out. There are already many gathered, you recognize the usual small and large houses of Westeros. For the royale hunt a small camp was set up in the Kingswood, there are tents everywhere, and a large campfire is set up in the middle.
You don't really want to spend the next two days in the woods, but it´s not like you have a choice. A loud roar catches your attention, you look up and in the next moment you see two dragons falling from the sky, Vaghar is obviously much bigger than Sunfyre, but as the two approach the ground in orbit, the sun reflects on the golden dragon's scales and even if you are afraid you can't help but marvel at the dragon's beauty. Everyone says Sunfyre is the most beautiful of the Tagaryen dragons. You can't understand the beauty of these monsters, but the way the dragon moves gracefully through the air and lands almost lightly in the middle of the camp, you have to admit that you are impressed. When Vaghar lands a moment later, the whole earth trembles. Aegon slips from his saddle and Aemond lands a moment later next to his brother. The people around start clapping as the princes walk through the camp to the royal family's tent.
"Come on. " Helanea says, together you follow her brothers. When you arrive at the tent entrance, Aemond holds the cloth, which forms the entrance, to the side and you can enter. Aegon waves directly to one of the servants, who brings him a cup of wine.
“Is it wise to drink before hunting?” you ask.
He's just smiling at you.“Of course, otherwise I can’t stand all this. What a waste of time. ” You want to contradict him, but he's right. This is supposed to be a feast for Helaena and Aegon, but neither of them wants to be here. Still, you answer him.
“The King means well, he wants to make you happy and celebrate your child. ”
“He doesn’t give a shit about us. ”
"Aegon, be quiet. " hiss Aemond next to you and give his brother an angry look.
"Isn't it the truth?"
“No truth for the public.” the two princes exchange a glance and Aegon nods, then he turns back to his wine. “Come on, Lady Y/N, we’ll get you something to drink. ” Aemond holds his arm for you, and you take it. He pulls you away from the others through the tent to the edge. You notice the looks of the Lord and Lady present on you, of course you also have a prince on your arm. Aemond is a lot taller than you, but he shortens his strides so you can walk comfortably next to him.
“Is Helaena all right?” he asks, as you stand next to the buffet of cakes, fruit, sweets, nuts and other pastries, as well as Dornish wine and other drinks. Aemond grabs a sweet tea from Essos, which you like to drink, and hands you a cup.
"Yes, but why don't you ask her yourself?"
“Mother says I sould not interfere much in this pregnancy. ”
“What do you mean?”
“Not important.” he answers you with an unmoved face. Is there anything that can upset Ameond?
“You don’t mean no truth for the public?” you repeat his words, even if you’re not so sure what it means. Maybe you should ask Aegon, after all, you're friends now, and you've already talked about not lying to your friends. Aegon calls it Tyrell Lessons, but you think that's sound ridiculous.
“No lie for the public. ” what Aemond tells you confuses you even more. You miss the time when your only connection to this family was Helaena and her strange dreams and riddles that may or may not predict the future.
The day drags on with boring conversations and too much sweet cake. The Queen does her best to entertain the ladies of the court, but the highlight of the day is when the hunting party sets off and returns. Seeing Aegon and Aemond on horses is a bit strange, especially with Aemond you can see that he usually rides a giant monster and not a small horse. Helaena sits bravely next to the Queen, you know she hates all the attention, but there's nothing you can do to help her except sit on the edge and give her a cheerful smile every now and then. The ladies of the court are so busy with their gossip that they don't even realize how meaningless it all really is. Maybe it's important to them, but you can´t bring yourself to care. Why does it matter which lord cheats on his wife with whom? You don't see the point. Some of the ladies are trying to get out of the Queen if Aemond has already chosen a bride.
“This is my son’s decision. ” she answers them in a diplomatic tone. Some of the older ladies tell Helaena about their pregnancies and births, but it's more of horror stories about pain and blood, so nothing that really helps her. But something bothers you about all this, every now and then the word heir comes up. Aegon is not his father's heir. He's the firstborn son, yes. But he is not the heir, so neither will his child inherit the Iron Throne. Jacaerys is his mother's heir, he will inherit the throne, not the unborn child in Helena's womb. It seems like all these ladies have forgotten. The day drags on, you have become sick from all the little cakes you have eaten, and when a horn sounds, announcing the return of the King's hunting party, you must suppress a sigh of relief. The King arrives at the head of the caravan riding back to camp. His sons next to him, while Aemond wears an unmoving face, you can tell by Aegon's face that he's in a terrible mood. His feet hardly touch the ground, as he calls a servant for a cup of wine. The men are slowly dispersed throughout the camp, the prey is sheared and prepared for the big feast in the evening. You stay at Helaenas side and sip your cup of wine.
“Finally, this horror is over. ” she whispers relieved. "Did you not like the attention of the ladies, Sister?" Ameond sounds a little amused, or at least what comes close to amused. He has walked to you so quietly, you didn´t hear him.
“Of course not. ” answers Helaena her brother. “How did you like the hunt?”
“Just as good as you like your day. ”
For a moment you hope for a quiet evening, but the King demands music, wine and dancing and so much of the camp turns into a drunken brawl. At least Aegon will have fun today. You sigh, but you don't say anything, and you try to stay in the background.
But Aemond doesn't seem to support your plan. “My Lady Tyrell will you accompany me for a few steps?”
“Of course. “ you're saying because you can't say no, Ameond holds his arm for you and you take him agaon. You walk side by side along the edge of the camp. Again, he shortens his steps so that you can walk beside him without any problems.
“You don’t really like these feasts. ” it is not a question, rather a statement. Actually, you are always looking forward to the feasts at court, you love to dance and be among people. But this hunt is not what it seems to be. The King claims it's to celebrate Helaena and Aegon, and their child. But this is all for the King alone. He wanted this hunt. Not Helaena or Aegon. So it all has a bitter aftertaste.
“Neither do you. ”
Aemond nods. “It’s exhausting. ”
“Yes.” your conversation is stalled because you don't know what to say to him. “How is the bridal show going?” you ask after the silence between you has become uncomfortable. It was the first thing that came to your mind.
Aemond laughs briefly and then shakes his head slightly. “I’m grateful for what you’re doing for Aegon. ” he won't answer your question and just changes the subject to his brother.
“What do you mean?” you ask confusedly.
“You’re a friend to him, that’s good for him. He’s not as restless as he used to be. I just wanted to say thank you. ” Aemond stops, behind you are hundreds of people drinking, talking and dancing to music. The prince kisses the back of your hand and nods lightly. “Thank you Y/N,” he says again, then turns away and goes to the others.
You take a deep breath, the air is filled with smoke and noise. There's a strange feeling inside you. Yes, Aegon has changed in recent weeks. Yes Project Friendship seems to work quite well. He's leaving Helaena alone, he's not being mean to you anymore, and according to Aemond, he seems to be feeling better. But it can't all be because you spend time with him now and then, can it? Would he go right back to his old ways if you didn't have time for him? You're feeling pressured, but the volume around you makes it hard for you to think in peace. You turn your back on the camp and walk a few steps into the Kingswood. As soon as the trees behind you are a little denser again, it will be quiet and you can breathe in the fresh air.
You still don’t fully understand the reason for his sudden behavioral reflection, even though you’re now sure that he’s not just pretending to want to change, but that he really wants to change. And you can help him with that. But do you really want to take full responsibility for Aegon's mood? Oh, no. It's not your job. Will he be cruel again if you fight? Your temples begin to throb with all this questions, and at the thought of going back to camp, an unpleasant feeling spreads in your stomach.
You just need a little rest and then you can rejoin the partying society to play the perfect lady. You continue to walk through the forest until you come to a small clearing. The light of the moon is no longer blocked from the treetops. The scene in front of you is almost romantic, but you have no head for it now. Talking to Aemond was confusing and you're tired of the whole day of pretending. Maybe you should talk to Aegon about your concerns? But how do you start such a conversation? A voice pulls you out of your mind.
“Your father keeps telling that you’re going to be the new princess, little Lady Tyrell. ” You turn to the side and recognize Lord Tristan Lannister. A son of Lord Tyland's cousin, or something like this, maybe a son from a Aunt? It doesn´t really matter. He speaks in a cold voice and comes over the small clearing where you stand. You freeze in your movement. Why is he lying? What does he even mean? What did your father say?
“Pardon me, I don’t know what you’re talking about. ” you answer honestly and want to move back to the hunting camp, but Tristan gets in your way.
“Yes, you innocent little Rose, what a good game you are playing. To pretend to be the princess friend in order to get close to her brother. My father is terribly angry you must know. For years he has maintained good relations with the King, brought my sister to court a year early only for a boring rose to snatch away her position? I don’t think so!”
“I really don’t know what you mean. Now leave me alone!” you hissed angrily, but the Lannister doesn’t back down from you, you know they tried to get Lord Jason or his twin brother engaged to Princess Rhaenyra, but that was years ago. Apparently they have now tried to suggest Lady Ellisan as a potential bride for Aemond, but what do you have to do with it?
"I'm not going to stand by and watch my family's efforts go down in the sand yet again, and I'm sure the Prince won't find any favour in a Lady with a disfigured face.” and with that, he grabs your arm. You reach out to punch him in the face, but he intercepts your hand and painfully twists your wrist. But suddenly he falters in his movement and his eyes become wide, you notice hot air in your back and the smell of sulfur is in the air.
“Is there a problem here?” Aegon's voice sounds cold as ice, but you've never been so glad to hear it.
The grip around your arm has loosened, and you manage to tear yourself loose and turn around. Aegon is right behind you, and behind him, still half hidden in the shadow of the trees, Sunyfre. The gold of his eyes shimmer in the dark, and with every breath he takes you can see golden flames in his throat. He's ready to spit fire any second. Aegon steps forward, grabs your arm, more carefully than you would have expected from him, and pushes you behind him, but he won't let go of your arm. You see the tension in his shoulders, and as you walked past him you saw the anger in his look, now you are glad that he is standing with his back to you, because his voice is just so full of hate that you shiver.
You try to focus on Tristan's words, but you can't. You feel the heat of the dragon breath far too much in your neck, you feel the heat it radiates through your body, and panicked anxiety rises in you. Aegon says something in high Valyrian and in that brief moment you resent the fact that you never even learned it in the first place. Helaena had offered to teach you words a few times, and you could have attended her classes too, But you didn't want to have anything to do with that strange language. Sunfyre suddenly roars up loudly a sound which sounds similar to a growl, only much more threatening.
"What's going on here?" suddenly the King came, kicked out of the forest, with two royal guards and the Queen at his side. The king is leaning on his walking stick, but his whole body is trembling with anger, and that doesn't make him seem as frail as usual, almost like the authority figure he's supposed to be. The Lannister boy turns to the side and you recognize the hint of a smile.
“The prince threatened me with his dragon! He was angry because I shot a deer in the morning, which he missed. He wanted revenge. Your Grace, please help me. ” He's such a good and convincing liar, you probably would have believed him yourself if you hadn't been there.
“How dare you Aegon!” the King yells at his son. "Don't worry Lord Tristan he'll leave you alone in the future. Go back to your father, I'll take care of it. " The Lannister almost runs from the meadow, and the Queen sends her sworn shield Ser Cristion after him.
“That’s not true at all.” Aegon says now, still angry, but the King does not listen to him.
“How can you frighten the poor boy, because of something as small as a hunt?” Sunfyre makes another angry roar and you twitch in horror as the golden monster stands up to its full size.
“Aegon, get your dragon under control. ”calls the Queen, but he does not respond and only watches Sunfyre gnashing his teeth and making a step on the King. He's on the same level as you two, you're getting close to Aegon, so he's between you and the dragon. There's something in Aegon's eyes that you can't figure out, but it scares you. Would the dragon spit fire without Aegon's command? The Queen opens her mouth, but Aegon is faster. “I have him under control.” then another Valyrian word and Sunfyr retreats behind Aegon.
“We don’t control the dragons! It’s not a pet. I thought I raised you better, but maybe you’re not up to the responsibility. ”
Aegon's eyes sparkle pure anger. “You didn’t raise me at all! You don’t care about me at all. ” after he yells, it's so quiet in the clearing that you can hear your heartbeat in your ears. The King shakes his head and turns around without a word and leaves the clearing, just like the Queen and the guards.
You want to follow them, but Sunfyre bumps his head to the side so that you look straight into his eyes, startled you back, sheer panic rises up. And you reach for Aegon's arm in terror, you know your grip is way too strong and he's probably hurting.
“Aegon!” your voice trembles with fear and you must suppress a sob.
“It’s okay. I told him to protect you. ” says Aegon and then add something in high Valyrian. The dragon turns its head to him and Aegon gently strokes over the golden scales on his nose. Sunfyre expels hot air through its nostrils. You can look into the dragon's eyes from here and you're surprised how much intelligence is behind it. You didn't even realize you raised your hand, but before you touch the golden scales, you twitch back.
“You can touch him. ”
“I don’t want to. ” You say and take a step back. “Thank you, Aegon. For helping me. ” Aegon nods and when you want to leave the clearing this time Sunfyre allows it.
You're surprised when you step back into the hunting camp, all the people drinking and laughing and talking like nothing happened. Because no one noticed. The sudden volume around you makes your temples pound again and the light of the fire burns in your eyes. You take a deep breath, but the air here isn't so fresh anymore.
It smells of horses, fire, wine, meat and people. Right now everything is just too much for you, you just want to be alone. You turn towards your tent, but your father stands in your way.
Your father, who's obviously so drunk, he's talking all over the place that you are going to be the new princess of the realm. It's your father's fault! His stupid plans got you in the situation with the Lannisters. But why? And what is he planning anyway? Isn't it enough that he dragged you away from your family when you were barely old enough to speak? That he took you away from your mother? You'd never have a real relationship with her, you've been separated for too long. And it's all his fault!
An irrational rage rises in you, and for a split second, you want Aegon to burn him with Sunyre. But then you shake your head, the thoughts are not the truth, it's just the stress of the evening that makes you think like that. But if there wasn't some truth to it, where did these thoughts, this anger, come from? You have to suppress a sigh and blink a few times, the anger flies away as quickly as it came and remains an unimaginable numbness. You want to just disappear, but where? You have no answer except to just get away from everyone.
“Is everything all right, kid?”
“Yes, Father. ” You're lying, but you can't smile. Your father doesn't seem to notice, as drunk as he is.
“Good. ”
“I’m tired. Good night. ”
“Good night, my child. ” he strokes your hair and then turns to some men in Hightower green. You enter your family's tent and finally it's dark, but not completely quiet yet. You breathe deeply, your hair smells a little of sulfur and dragon, you would like to let yourself sink into a hot tub. You know there's hundreds of people out there, but you're still feeling unbelievably alone right now. The tent opens again and you turn around and expect your father to stand behind you, but it's Helaena. She doesn't say a word, but spreads her arms and you fall into her embrace. Out of nowhere, tears come into your eyes and you start to cry, your friend strokes your back and sways you lightly back and forth like a little child.
**
Your mood after the Royal hunt had only relaxed outwardly, you try to forget the memory of that evening as best you can, but you find that you feel more and more left alone. The contact with your family in Highgarden was always bad, but somehow you can't even answer your mother's letters anymore. You don't care what she thinks anymore. You notice how everything inside of you is reluctant to write a nice answer, as she expects from you. Although at first you were sad that Helaena now has to spend most of her time in her rooms, you are now at the point where you enjoy the dark room and the peace and quiet there. There, no one expects anything from you and you can sit on the comfortable sofa all day long, read or even just stare at the flames of the fire. You and Helaena have talked a lot about why you were suddenly so angry at your father, where that sudden hatred came from, but you haven't found a real solution. Helaena is not a real expert on paternal affection, but at least she still had her mother. The only thing she's convinced of is that fathers always want what's best for their children. Aemond had sent you a short letter apologizing for the incident with Lord Tristan Lannister and promising to take care of the matter, even if you don't know what that means. Nor why he's apologizing to you. He had nothing to do with it.
**
You sit next to Helaena on the soft sofa in her rooms and read some Dornish fairy tales. The fire next to you rattles quietly, the curtains are closed because the Master said so. But you know the sun is shining outside, but you still don't want to go out. You want to sit here in these dark rooms and forget about the world outside. But the world has not forgotten you. The door opens without knocking, and Aegon comes in without being asked in. You look up from the book and even Helaena turns completely to the door
“Aegon.” she says surprised and puts aside her handiwork.
“Sister.” He says, but then turn to yourself. "I've been looking for you."
“I was here. ” you answer. Aegon looks around the darkened rooms and then draws his eyebrows together.
“I thought we were going for a walk. The weather is nice. ”
“I’ll stay here. ” you say. Helaena looks back and forth between you, and then she starts talking.
“No, please Y/N enjoy the sun you don’t have to be locked in here with me. It’s boring here and if I have to be inside, you can enjoy the sun for both of us.”
“I’m not locked. . ” you start, but Aegon just interrupts you.
“You see, even my sister sees it that way. Come on. ” His voice is no contradiction and he holds his arm to you, but you ignore him and look to Helaena. She's smiling at you.
“For me?” and she won. You sigh and nod. Then you walk past Aegon without paying attention to his arm and leave Helaena's chambers for the first time in days. The Prince follows you quickly and it doesn't take long and you walk side by side through the beautiful gardens of the Reed Keep. The sun is burning on your skin but it's feels good.
“You shouldn’t lock yourself up with Helaena. ” Aegon starts after a moment, his gaze is attentive to you and you are uncomfortable. Why can't he just drink wine and fuck whores and leave you alone? Just like the last few years. But no, you had to feel sorry for the lonely prince. You regret your decision for a moment, but then you think back to Helena's bruises, the fear you've always had around Aegon, the night before he attacked you, the screaming in the guard, the desperate queen crying over her son's behavior, and you're glad that this person isn't the same person standing before you.
“I don’t lock myself in, I spend time with her. ”
"You're hiding. "
“That’s not true. ” you answer and stop, you folds your arms in front of youf chest and looks at him furiously. You feel like a defiant toddler anyway, so you can act like one.
“But you do. You hide with Helaena in the dark, and let her fill your head with her stupid riddles. ” insists Aegon, with that arrogant and at the same time bored tone that annoys you so terribly. Maybe the lonely, cruel prince isn't gone yet. But you didn't expect a 360-degree turn of character in a few months.
“You don’t have to be interested. ” you hiss at him, you notice a couple of people turning to you, and immediately you notice the blushes shooting in your cheeks. "Leave me alone. " You say, you didn't notice how loud your voice got.
Aegon's jaw is tightening, and you know he's pissed. Now he'd be yelling at you, you'd be arguing, and your friendship experiment has failed. But Aegon reacts completely differently, he sighs and steps towards you. He raises his hands defensively.
“I didn’t mean to make you angry. I just don’t want you to sink in a hole. ”
“I’m not sinking into a hole.” you give up your tense posture and breathe in the fresh air. “I should better go back inside. ”
“To sneak up with my crazy sister again. ” You roll your eyes and get mad at him again.
"Why are you so mean and dismissive of Helaena?" you ask now, you make sure you don't scream again. Why does he always have to call Helaena crazy? She's not! "I still remember a time when it was different. " You add that.
They're pale memories, memories of your childhood. A childhood where you grew up with Aegon, Aemond and Helaena, and you were somehow happy in a strange way.
"When we were kids?" Aegon asks, he holds his arm back to you, but you don't take it, you just walk next to him. There's no longer two steps between you, but that's okay with you. You nod at his question.
"Before my mother married me to my sister. Without my will. "
"It wasn't Helaena's will either. "
"I know. But it's been different since then. You said honesty is important with friends, so I want to be honest. I know my Tyrell lessons. “ He smiles at you from the side and you have to roll your eyes, but still you have to smile lightly. “But I haven’t told anyone yet."
"I won't talk to anyone about it. " you promise.
"After mum decided that I should marry Helaena, it was strange for me. I couldn't quite understand what it meant. And then at some point I realised what marriage meant. You know how my family is, so it wasn't quite as strange for me as it might have been for outsiders, but it was still strange. After all, she is my sister. I couldn't relate to her the way I did when we were kids. Not with the knowledge. So I started to ignore her. Then we got married. And you know how that marriage goes.” he laughs briefly, even though there's nothing funny about the situation.
Even though you resisted for a long time, even though you actually wanted to hate Aegon and for a while you did, you feel sorry for him. Over the years, you have turned Aegon into an enemy in your mind. Helaena's enemy and therefore your enemy. Even though he tried to mend his ways, you couldn't really forgive him for the way he treated Helaena all this time. But after his words, you realise that Aegon has no choice either. Yes, Helena probably doesn't deserve Aegon. But Aegon doesn't deserve all the suffering his family has put him through either. And if you're honest, you haven´t even try to understand him the whole time, you just hated him. Because that was easier for you. Black and white is easier than grey.
"I'm sorry. I'm sure it's not easy for you either."
"Thanks. But there’s no reason to make things any harder for Helaena.” You are surprised by this admission, or was it more of a statement? "I know we have a duty. As Tagaryans, as monarchs, as part of this family. But I can't share the bed with her sober. I've tried, honestly. But I can't, so I drink and bring it quickly behind me. I don't want to hurt her at all. She is my sister and I love her as my sister. But at the same time it makes me so angry that she is also my wife and that I have to share the bed with her. I can hardly look at her face anymore because I'm so ashamed.”
A single tear runs down his cheek, Aegon quickly wipes it away, but you saw it. You don't know what to say, you can't find the right words. Are there even right words for something like this? So you reach for his hand and squeeze it lightly, you want to show him that he is not alone with his feelings.
“Thanks for telling me that.”
Aegon looks at you in surprise and then smiles slightly. “It feels good to have talked about it.” he squeezes your hand ever so slightly. Then he sighs. “Well, luckily the problem has been solved for now.”
"Are you happy?"
He snorts. “Do you want an honest answer?”
"Of course."
“I have no idea what I´m feeling,” he says after a moment. You nod, not knowing what to say again. "I'm not happy, but Its not like that I don't care either. I don't know." He shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t want to think about it.”
You actually want to say something more, but you bite your lip. You want Aegon to respect your boundaries, so you have to respect his too.
“Alright.” You say and stop again. You close your eyes and hold your face in the sun, maybe it wasn't good for you to sit in the dark for several days.
After a moment you continue to walk in silence and as you start moving again you realize that you are still holding Aegon's hand, your fingers intertwined together, completely unconsciously. Surprised by this you release your hand from his, you feel his gaze on you, but you don't turn around to look him in the face. You just keep walking and he walks beside you in silence. The beautiful weather not only drove you two out of the Red Keep, but countless others as well. You notice how they keep giving you looks. But you don't care, you now understand that it doesn't matter what you do.
People would talk about you anyway, judge you and assume things about you. Your father used to tell you that you had to behave perfectly at court and that you couldn't make any mistakes. And you've lived your whole life based on it. You tried to be perfect. And what did it bring you? Insinuations, lies, and the clarity that this world is unfair.
For a split second you consider reaching for Aegon's hand again, knowing there will be talking, but you quickly change your mind. A comfortable silence spreads between you. You try not to think about anything and concentrate on the beautiful gardens, trying to get the faint memory of Highgarden back in your mind at the same time, but you were so young when you were taken away that it's hard for you.
You stand on one of the bushes and scratch over the open flower. From somewhere you hear a familiar melody playing and you close your eyes. You breathe the warm summer air and for a moment you are tempted to imagine what your life would have been like if you hadn't been brought to court. How different it would have been if you had grown up in Highgarden. Aegon's hand on your back takes you away from your thoughts, the touch is slightly, and when you open your eyes again and turn to him, he has already take one step back and you're not sure if you just imagined his touch.
"Do you feel better?“ he asks. You're shaking your head.
"No. But I'm gonna figure it out. I just feel lonely.” you answer honestly.
"You are not." he says, trying to bring a smile to his lips. Then he is quiet, maybe he doesn't know what else to say. Aegon turns in the direction from which the melody of the harbour comes. "The Knights of the Rose." he says after a moment and you are surprised that he knows the song. "Mother used to sing it for me to sleep."
You almost forgot that the Queen is from Old Town. The big city in the Reach shares the same culture as Highgarden
“My Nursemaid did this too.” when you came to King's Landing, she accompanied you. But she was old and left you shortly after your first moonblood."You are now grown up, my child. You don't need me anymore." You're shaking your head to shake away your thoughts about the past. "I want to go back." you say after a moment. This time Aegon doesn´t contradict and accompany you on your way back to Helana's rooms.
"I will go looking for Aemond," he says when you reach the interior of the castle, the alleys are cool on your sun-heated skin. "If you allow My Lady Tyrell, my brother and me will attend dinner with you and my Lady sitster today?“
You laugh at his formal tone for a moment, and then you sneeze.
“Helaena would be happy.”
"And you?“
"I´m too.” You answer honestly and give Aegon a smile.
**
The summer is moving forward and a tournament is being prepared for the King's Nameday in a few weeks. To your surprise, Princess Rhaenyra has arrived with her children and her uncle-husband Daemon.
The Red Keep is now even more full than usual and the usual chaos is increased again. In Helaena's rooms, fortunately, you don't get so much of it. But you're not the only one who uses her rooms as a secret retreat to hide from the royal court. The princes do the same. Aegon curses Rhaenyra and her annoying sons most of the time. Aemond calls them bastards and Helaena and you sit in silent. In the meantime, you can already see a small rounding of her belly. The princess react to the news of the pregnancy with a smile and "My congratulations sweet sister." After that she continued to ignore Helaena and her other siblings. But it's not like Aegon, Helaena, and Aemond behave differently. Most of the time they get away from the princess, her husband and their sons.
Dinner now takes place regularly in Helaena's rooms. You feel comfortable with the siblings, even if you don't really belong to them, they won't show you. You feel like you four have a little secret bond. It's a nice feeling to be part of it. Every time Aemond enters his sister's room, he pulls away the heavy curtains from the windows and lets the light of the evening sun in.
"The Masters have said that the sun is not good for Heleana."
"Nonsense. Everywhere, healthy children are born, even though their mothers are still working on the fields.”
"Fuck the masters." Aegon accepts his brother and helps himself with the wine. So you stop complaning after the second day. Maybe they're both right.
You sit at the table next to Helaena. The servants have already brought dinner, and you're giving yourself some wine from one of the pots. The princes sat opposite you and you started eating.
"You flew today, right?“ Helaena turns to her brothers, you know she misses her dragon, even though she does not fly often.
"Yes Vaghar has graciously hanged Sunfryre."
"She's three times as big as him." Aegon immediately defends his dragon.
“I won anyway. Usually, he's a little bit nimble."
Aegon turns his eyes. "He wasn´t in the right headspace."
"What do you mean?“ Helaena asks anxiously.
"I don't know. I just feel that he's restless. Something's wrong."
"You feel it?" you ask now confused. What does that mean?
"Yes," says Aegon as if it were the most normal thing in the world.
"We have a kind of bond with our dragons." Aemond starts explaining and he sounds like the Septa who taught you. "A connection. We can feel when something is not right, they can feel if something is wrong with us. They will find us wherever we are.”
You look at them in surprise, to be honest, you've never paying attention to the monsters they're riding on, your fear is too buf. But a bond between rider and dragons? You didn't expect that.
"The Dragonkeeper say Aegon and Sunfrey's bond is the strongest they've seen in years." say Helaena, surprised you look at Aegon and notice that his ears become slightly red. You hide a smile by taking a sip of wine.
"Enough of dragons." Aegon ends the topic.
"The dragon dances over the fire of the river." says Helaena suddenly in a serious tone.
Aemond looks at her confused, while Aegon rolls his eyes. "Please, sister, no riddels."
"Let her." you say quickly, but Helaena retreats and begins to play with the small wooden figures of dragons, beetles and spiders on the table.
Angry, you turn to Aegon. "You made her angry." Helaena needs a lot of rest right now because of her pregnancy and you know it's difficult for her when no one listens and understands her.
"I didn't. It makes no sense at all what she says, rivers are not made of fire and dragons do not dance!“
“But...” Aegon doesn't let you say anything, but turns his eyes and gives a sigh of himself.
"It is enough if Helaena has only her riddels in her head, not you too."
Angry at his ignorance, you loudly drop your fork into your plate and sparkle it. "If you just listen to her, you could help find out what the mysteries mean." Aegon just starts laughing. No cheerful laughter, no, he's laughing at you, directly in your face. Anger rises in you, you breathe deep to calm down.
Aemond puts his cup loudly on the table and throws a angry look at you and Aegon. "Helaena shouldn't be upset." He says in a strict tone.
"Aegon upsets her."
"Your bickering upsets her." answers Aegon. God, you want to wipe his arrogant smile off his face! Why does he make you so angry again? And so fast.
"Stop laughing." You are suddenly screaming, surprised by your outburst of anger Helaena and Aemond tremble together. Aegon stops laughing and looks at you surprised. You bite your lip and look to the ground ashamed. "I'm sorry." You say quickly. You shouldn't have screamed
“Y/N.” Aegon's voice is quiet now and you look up again to look at him. “I’m sorry, too. I will listen to Helaena from now on.” Aegon turns to his sister. "I'm sorry I upset you."
Helaena is still playing with the wooden figures, but she's looking at you and her brother. Then she smiles shy. "It's okay. Sometimes I don't even understand what I'm saying. Really Y/N. You don't have to fight for me all the time."
Yes you have to! That's your job. You're her best friend. You have to protect her. But you don´t want to upset her again, so you keep quiet.
You finish your meal in unpleasant silence.
Afte Aegon ccompany you back to your cambers, you would have preferred to go alone, but he insisted. You are silent as you walk through the hallway."
"Are we still friends?" Aegon suddenly breaks the silence.
You are surprised by the uncertainty in his voice and you look at him from the side.
"Of course." you say quickly.
Aegon is nods. "Good. I was just af..." he interrupts himself. "Good."
You're coming to your door.
"Sleep well, Aegon." You tell him and open your door. Aegon looks past you into your room, he's never been in your room before, so you can understand his curiosity.
"Sleep well little Rose."
"Little Prince." you say, courtsey and laugh at his turning eyes before you go into your rooms. You give up calling your maid and getting yourself ready for bed. You have a bad conscience because you've become so angry at dinner, but you're upset when Aegon is so arrogant. And if he ignores Helaena. You don't really feel like somebody's interested in her riddles. But she sees the future. Or? Nobody believes that, so why are you so sure? What do you know about Tagaryen magic? You put the thought aside and lie down in your soft bed.
**
The masters threw you out of the princess's chambers for a examination, but before you even got close to your rooms, Aegon caught you to play a round of cards with him in the garden. So you sit in one of the pavilions and have servants bring you wine and cakes. After your second cup, you put your hand on your cup when the servant wants to refill. It's pretty early in the day and you don’t want to spend the rest of the day drunk.
"You're boring." Aegon laugs and wins the next round of your game.
"That's not true!" you say.
"Of course, you always behave like a perfect lady. Always stay behind the walls of the Red Keeps and do what your father tells you. When was the last time you were in Kings Landing?"
His words make you a little angry. You don't always do what your father tells you to do, you just listen to your father, even if it hurts you. You're his daughter, you have to listen to him, and he always wants the best for you. That's what Helaena said, fathers always want the best for you.
"It's dangerous there." You answer Aegon's question, you've been out of town for a long time, not without guards.
"No! It's exciting. Come with me to the city for one night. Have a little fun. And don't worry, I'll keep you safe.”
There's a strange feeling under your skin, and even if you know it's dangerous and you'll regret it, the offer is too tempting in a strangely way.
"But only one night." you agree.
Aegon laughs triumphantly at you. "Perfect. I'll send you a message with our meeting point and the way." he says, pushes the cards together and stands up swinging.
"I know the way."
Aegon laughs. "Little Rose, you can't just walk through the Red Keep in the middle of the night and walk out through the gates. But don't worry, there are plenty of other ways out of here."
"Other ways?"
"Secret passages, they're built in order to escape safely in the event of an attack."
You're surprised and surprised that Aegon knows these secrets. You didn't know that the place you've lived in for almost your whole life is full of secret passages.
"See you tonight," he says with an grin, and letting you sit alone in the garden, how impolently.
**
"My Lady. A gift from the prince." A servant handed you a beautifully carved wooden box. You don't open it because you know it's the message with the directions.
"Thank you. Have a nice day." The servant is apparently surprised that you don't send the gift back as usual, but he leaves your rooms right away.
You put the wooden box on the table and you open it, not only comes out a directions, with a secret passage that begins a corridor in front of your rooms and ends outside the Red Keep, but also clothes, men's clothing. You take them in your hand and you get a familiar smell, Aegon. He sent you his clothes, probably so you could slip out better. A strange mixture of excitement and uncertainty is rising up in you. It's stupid to sneak out. It's dangerous. It is absolutely inappropriate. But then you remember your father's behavior. You deserve to behave inappropriately! At least for one night. Then you'll be the perfect lady again, but you deserved a night of freedom. So you get dressed in the evening and get on your way through the secret passages. You follow the directions and when you get scared you might have lost the right way you step around a corner and stand in front of an old door. To your surprise, it's easy to open. The next moment you step out into the dark night, the air is cool but not uncomfortable.
"Finally." you shake together as Aegon appears next to you. He does not wear his usual, decorated dresses, but dark pants and a simple shirt, yet still of high quality and made of expensive fabrics.
"I was already afraid I was going to get lost and die in these tunnels," you answered him. Aegon laughs.
"Don't worry, little Rose, I would've been looking for you." He's whining at you."Ready?" he laughs. It's probably not half as exciting for him as it is for you. He must have spent thousands of nights in the city to celebrate and visit brothels. You hope he won't take you to a brothel. You decide to trust him. Trust is important in friendship. You nod and follow Aegon down a narrow staircase on the edge of the Keep.
The city summons in a strange way, everywhere were people on the streets, they promoted goods from stands, wine, meat, bread, sweets. Somewhere music plays, there is a theater in a small square, lights are all over the narrow streets.
You could look around for hours and still not have seen everything. You've never been to Kings Landing at night and not near Flew Bottom. Aegon turns to one of the market stands and comes back in the next moment with two cups full of dark beer. Carefully you take a swallow and have to suppress a cough at the bitter taste.
"It is always like this?” you ask surprised.
"No. The smallfolk are celebrating the Night of the Smith today.”
"What?" you ask confused. The feast of the Smith would take place at the end of the week and it is not actually a feast. “The Smith is honored by practicing one day in restraint, water instead of wine, bread instead of cake.” you remember your lessons on the Seven.
Aegon takes a sip of his beer.. "It's good that I don't believe in the Seven. Restraint is not my thing. And the smallfolk celebrate differently than we do, do you really think they need a day by practicing restraint when they don't have enough money for food every second day?“
You swallow once, you know you're privileged, but you don't think about it often. Actually, never. You, outside of your maids and servants, don't come into contact with the smallfolk. "You're right." You say and you're ashamed of your stupidity.
Aegon laughs again and then touches your hand slightly. "Come little Rose, there's no reason to let the mood go down."
"I am not a little rose." you complain as you follow him down the crowded streets.It seems that none of the people had any concerns. People talk, dance, laugh and drink. And all this on the open road.
"Yes you are." Aegon laughs and drinks his cup empty. Then he noods at your cup, which is almost full. You're quick to take a couple of sips too. Aegon smiles at you, an honest smile that he rarely shows.
"Come." He's holding your hand out and you take it. Excitement creeps under your fingertips, where your skin touche his. Aegon close his hand around yours and draws you along the street. The city is noisy and full, but you feel good. When you come to a small place, you finally see where the music comes from. A group of musicians are playing on the edge of the square and the people are dancing and drinking. It is not the dance steps that you dance at court, everyone simply moves to the music as it pleases him. Children rotate quickly in a circle, couples weigh each other tightly wrapped back and forth. A few young girls are guided by men through simple steps with quick turns.
"A dance?" asks Aegon from the side. You drink your cup empty with and nord.The prince pulls you between the dancing people, his hand is on your back, while his other still holds yours. You move to the music, you weigh easily back and forth. It takes a moment, but then you find your rhythm with each other, with the music, with the people around you. A faster song is played, Aegon makes you turn around yourself several times and when you get slightly dizzy and as you stagger to the side his hand is there to supports you and draws you backt to him so that you do not lose balance. You giggle stupidly, moving to music, and when you're taken by a group of young girls and when your are laughing together in a circle, you feel freer than ever in your life. Here and now, no one expects you to dance the perfect dance steps or to be a perfect lady. Nobody knows you here and it feels good. You dance with the strange girls for a while, and then you dance with Aegon again. At some point, you move on through the streets, you drink a lot of beer and taste sweet fruits and drink a juice that strangely burns in your throat and causes you to cough.
"Little Rose, this is not the wine you drink at Red Keep, be careful." Aegon laughs, takes the cup out of your hand and drinks it for you empty. He doesn't even grimaces.
You rolled your eyes and grinned at him. “I thought we would have fun today little prince.” You say challengingly. Aegon laughs and you laugh out loud too. You don't even care that a few people are looking at you strangely. You don't think and grab Aegon's hand to pull him further down the street. You want to see everything before this evening is over.
The sun rises over the city as you approach the Red Keep again. Your hand is still in Aegon's, it feels good. Aegon leads you past the high wall to a small door, it's not the same path you took on the way outside, but you follow him without hesitation into the dark hallways behind the door. The air here is musty and when the door closes behind you it is dark all around you. You squeeze Aegon's hand a little tighter just to make sure you don't lose him. The beer and wine you drank gave your head a light cloud, but you're fine. You walk through the dark hallway.
Aegon opens a door and you come through another hallway. It's a little brighter here, light comes from small openings in the wall from above. However, the ground is muddier and after a few steps you slip. Surprised, Aegon also slips slightly to the side and your back hits the wall, but you manage to catch you. Aegon is now standing directly in front of you.
This situation would scare you a few month ago, but not now. Not just because you drank a little too much, but because you really trust Aegon. He raises his hand and carefully pushes a strand of hair out of your face. His eyes move from yours to your lips and then back to your eyes.
“Did you have fun?” he asks and he is so close to you that you can feel his breath on your skin.
“Yes.” You answer honestly. "And you?"
"Yes. You are a better company than the one I have usually."
You laugh. "Thank you I take it as a compliment to be a better conversation partner than your whores."
Aegon also laughs quietly, he comes half a step closer to you. He's so close to you now that you can feel the warmth of his body. A nervous tingling form under your skin. You have to swallow, looking nervously to the side, because you can't stand his gaze. The alcohol in your blood makes it difficult for you to think, and Aegon's smell surrounding you confuses you. Aegon's hand lies on your cheek and he gently turns your head, so you have to look at him. He bends a little, then stops again. You can feel your heart thundering in your chest and the blood pulsates through your ears.
"May I kiss you?" His voice is hardly a whisper, so quietly he speaks. A hot shiver is passing through your body. You want his lips on yours, this sudden recognition makes you shake. But it's wrong. You can't want him. You shouldn't want him.
"Friends don't kiss eachother." you get out breathless. His proximity is confusing, and you almost don't notice how to prevent yourself a little, you want to yield to the desire. You want to kiss him. In the next second, reality breaks over you. That's wrong! Aegon is your friend. You're drunk. That's wrong. "We can't." you say in a firm voice, you are surprised by yourself, but you turn your head a little to the side and push him a bit away from you. He allows it, steps a step back, but he does not stumble.
"Come. I'll bring you back, you have to go to your rooms before anyone notices you've disappeared."
Confused, you stand at the wall for a moment, hot shame rises in you. This moment was absolutely inappropriate, even though nothing happened. You take a deep breath and you realize that Aegon is already gone. You're afraid he left you here in the secret hallway, but you can hear his voice just a few steps away from you.
“Y/N?”
"Yes," you answer him, your voice sounds strange in your ears. Aegon holds his hand back for you, and you take it. He leads you through the dark hallways until you come out again in the hallway near your rooms. Just a corner and you'll be safe back in your rooms without being caught. You're a little proud of yourself that you actually succeeded in slipping out of the Red Keep. You're turning around the corner and froze. Your father is standing in front of your door, he must have been about to knock. Gods, why is he here so early? Your father turns around when he hears footsteps and when he recognizes you, still in men's clothes, with messy hair, his eyes darken.
"Y/N!" his voice trembles of anger and your heart is shaking. Damn it, you're in a lot of trouble now. Your father comes to you and you know that if he comes a little closer, he'll smell the alcohol in your breath. "Where do you come from? And what do you look like?"
"Father I can..." you start, but you are interrupted by Aegon, who suddenly appears behind you and places his hand on your back as he stands very close to you. God, what's he doing?
"Lord Tyrell," he says, and he sounds much more drunk than he did a few minutes ago. "It's nice to see you. Don't worry about Lady Y/N. I just wanted to escort your beautiful daughter safely to her rooms."
"My prince." your father sounds insecure. You've never heard his voice like that before.
Aegon puts slight pressure on your back so you move and go to your cambers.
"My Lady Tyrell. I wish you a pleasant morning," he says, kissing your hand and winks to you. On his lips lies the smile of a little boy who had successfully stolen chocolate from the kitchen.
"My Prince." You curtsy and go to your room. You breathe deeply and exhale. Even though you've been awake all night, you feel euphoric rather than tired. You wait another 10 minutes for your father to come after you and preach to you, but he doesn´t come. So you call your maid and let you take a bath. You try to review what happened all night, but your thoughts are always hanging at that moment in the dark secret passage. A few more inches and you'd have kissed. You can feel your cheeks getting red again. Gods. What are you doing? Aegon is your friend! He's your best friend's husband! And you almost kissed him. You have to make a distance between you two. Not emotionally, no, but physically. This must never happen again.
Your father come to your rooms in the afternoon. "Sit down, my child." He says you're swallowing and falling on the chair. Nervously, you start playing with your sleeves. Now the sermon would come. "I'm proud of you."
Your gaze hurries up at his words and you know that your confusion is written in your face. You expected everything from screaming, or threats, to an instruction to go back to Highgarden, but not that. "Pardon me?“
"I'm proud of you. You wrapped both princes around your finger. Very well done.“ You are sure you don't. You want to answer your father, but he just keeps talking. "But you have to concentrate on one, my child. There's been talk. When it comes to marriage, your virtue must be exalted above any doubt. Prince Aegon is already married, so please concentrate on Prince Aemond. You'll be a princess, that's better than a prince's mistress. Isn't that wonderful?"
What? What wedding? What's he talking about? None of this is wonderful. "But Father I don´t want Aemond... I… I don´t want to marry the prince."
Your father looks angry at you now. "What are you talking about? You will be a princess."
"I don't want to be a princess," you insist.
"Don't talk nonsense. Your marriage to Aemond will give our family a lot of influence. That's a good thing. Do what I tell you, my child." he kisses your hair and then leaves your rooms without a word. Confused, you stay sitting and staring at the closed door. That was a joke, wasn't it? You don't really understand what this conversation was supposed to be about. You leave your rooms to go for a little walk to get your head free. You know you don't want to marry Aemond. But your father expects that from you. But can you really live a life with a man you don't love and do not want to marry just to make your father happy? No. But what are you supposed to do? Can you do anything at all?
You are ripped out of your mind when you hear your name. You turn around, Aegon comes to you. Immediately shame rises up in you, but Aegon has a smile on his face.
"And was your father with you?" When he arrives by you, he holds his arm out for you. You hesitate a second but then take his arm. Aegon turns you in the opposite direction, so you go towards the gardens. Forgotten is your intention to not come close to him physically anymore.
"Yes, I thought he would get angry, but he wasn't. He says he's proud of me because I wrapped two princes around my finger." When you repeat your father's words, you feel bad. Aegon starts to laugh quietly and shakes his head. You actually thought he was gonna get angry.
"What else did he say?“ he asks and acts like a curious boy.
"That I should concentrate on Aemond, because it is better to be a princess than a prince's mistress."
This time Aegon laughs loudly. "Why? Isn't it enough for him that I like you and put a little prince bastard in your belly? I am insulted."
There was this direct kind again that made you so angry not so long ago, but now you have to laugh.
"That's not funny at all," you say anyway. "What does he think I'm doing all day? I didn't wrap anyone around the finger. Not you, and not Aemond. Why isn't he angry? He even supports that. What does he imagine?“ the words just come out of your mouth. Aegon stops, so you have too. And suddenly you realize that your father told you the first time he was proud of you. Because he thinks you've seduced two men.
Tears rise in your eyes at this thought. Aegon looks confused about your sudden change of mood. He gently raises his hand, but before it touches your cheek, he stops.
"Can I?“he asks quietly and you nod. He wipes a hair out of your face and then leaves his hand on your cheek. "He wants to make you a princess. He wants power and influence and that's what he wants through you.“
You're swallowing. "Why?" you ask, and it sounds desperate and sad. A strange mixture of anger, sadness and confusion rises up inside you and you don't know how to deal with all of that. You don't know what to do. Listen to your father? Seduce Aemond and become a princess? But you don't want that! You don't want that in any case!
"Because it's always so," replies Aegon. His voice sounds emotionless, as if he were quoting facts from a book. "Who do you think brought my mother into my father's bed? Otto Hightower, her father."
"Are all fathers like that?"
"I don't know, my father barely speaks more than three sentences a week with me. If at all. Or he's yelling at me." Aegon shakes his shoulders, hatred flashes in his eyes, but the short glimmer disappears immediately when he looks at you.
You sighs when you realize what kind of place you're actually living in. This place was full of liars, and men all pursuing their own goals. They all want more wealth and power and influence on the king.
"I don't want to be a princess." you say quietly. You don't want anything like that. You don't want to be Aemond's wife, you do not want to live in the Reed Keep. You don't want to be a figure in your father's game of more power. You just want your peace. You want to sit in the sun, eat cakes and listen to Helaena talking about beetles.
"You don't have to," said Aegon with compassion.
"But my father. I can hardly tell him that I will do nothing."
"Then don't tell him." Aegon shrugged his shoulders. "Lie to him, I always do this with my mother.“
"You know she knows you're lying to her?“
"Of course."
"It hurts her."
"I know. But no matter what I do or not do, she is disappointed in me anyway.”
"That's not true." you're trying to get him up, but Aegon just shakes his head.
"Let us stay with you and your father." you turn your eyes at his words, but he keeps talking. "As I see it, you have two options. First, you stick to Aemond and get him to marry you. I'm honest, if you asked him, he'd choose you. He would be a good husband to you, would do his duty." with his words, everything in you is drawn together. You don't want to associate your marriage with the words duty, even if it's a hypothetical marriage to the prince."Or option two, you give a fuck about what your father says to you and just have fun in your life and lie to him. So what are you going to do little Rose?”
"He could send me away." the thought of leaving Helaena alone makes you ill.
"Helaena would never allow that."
You have to laugh a little about the confident in his voice. Your reality is so different, even though you live in the same place.
“She would not be able to do anything if my father decides I have to leave.”
"She's a princess, she can order you to stay."
"The king would have to agree, she is just a princess."
Aegon becomes aware of the scope of your words. "Then I insist that you stay. I am a prince, your father can do nothing against me."
His words make you smile. "So which option do you choose, one or two?“ asks Aegon now again in a better mood.
"Two," you answer, and you feel like you're doing something forbidden, even if you are only thinking about lying to your father. Aegon laughs at your words like a boy whom sweets are allowed.
"Very well, little Rose, let's have fun."
"I know your definition of fun, but I don't think I have that much pleasure in wine, whores and gambling." you answer as a joke, but Aegon's gaze is darkened.
"Do you really think that's the only things that interests me?“
"No!" you say quickly, even if you are not sure what his interests are. You know he likes history, even though he hates reading books. You know he loves his dragon. You know his favorite Wine is a red one from Dorne. He has a preference for long nights and likes to dance, even if he doesn´t do it often. "I'm sorry. What do you want to do?“
"We can go to Sunfyre," he suggests.
"No." you say quickly, you would prefer bordels and wine.
"You've lived here for years and you're still afraid of dragons."
"They are monsters."
"Sunfyre is not a monster."
"Sunfyre may not, but dragons. They are dangerous, unpredictable, wild and uncontrollable.” on Aegon's face appears a smile and his eyes flash short, then he bites himself on the lip. You're putting your head wrong. "What?“
"Nothing."
You're pulling your eyebrows together. "Tell me what you think."
Now the prince laughs and shakes his head. “No way. You're a lady." You look at him confused.
"What?“
"Come little Rose. A walk by the water will do us good, it's almost fun." he then says and nods towards the walls that separate the Red Keep from the sea. He holds his arm back and you take it without hesitation. You don't talk about the moment in the hallway. But that's okay for you. You even prefere it like this, so you don´t die out of embarrasment.
When you fall into bed early in the evening completely exhausted you breathe out relieved, you were not awake for so long. You close your eyes and you fall asleep in almost the same second. That night you dream of Aegon. You dream that you gave him this kiss. You let him kiss you and let him go further than an unmarried lady should allow.
**
You're sitting in Helaena's rooms, you've removed the curtains, it's raining all day and dark clouds are drawing over the sky. The fire burns in the fireplace and releases a pleasant heat. You read to Helaena in a quiet voice. A book about folklore from the north, there are stories about the others, Direwolves, Mammots, Giants and other magical animals that no longer exist.
"I have to go to Dreamfyre." Helaena interrupts you so suddenly at an exciting place that you flinch. You look up and only now notice that your friend probably hasn't listened to you in a long time.
“Now?” you ask surprised. "Why?" it rains in streams outside and you sit here in the warm and dry cambers, why leaving?
"I have to," she answers you, even if that doesn't answer your question at all. "Please Y/N, come with me." Of course you go with her.Does it have anything to do with the bond between dragon and rider? A short time later you sit in a carriage, on your way to the Dragonpit. The rain rushes to the roof of the wagon, the drumming of the drops makes you nervous, and Helaena's sudden restlessness doesn't help either. She grabs your hand for a moment, but then immediately releases it and looks out the window of the cart.
"Is everything okay?"
"Yes. I have to go to Dreamfyre.”
"We're there in a minute."
Your journey don´t take long, and you and Helaena quickly run to the entrance, so that you do not get completely wet. When the heavy door falls behind you, you take a deep breath. You winkel your nose at the stink. Helaena turns directly to the dragonkeeper, the two turning to the center, where a ramp leads down. But you keep standing still on the wall, being in the Dragonpit is actually a lot too close to the dragons. Why couldn't you stay at the Red Keep? Helaena and the dragonkeeper disappear from your search field and you remain alone in the big hall.
A hiss catches your attention and at the next moment Sunfyre comes through one of the entrances into the Dragonpit, where are the Dragonkeeper? Why can he run around freely?
“What are you doing here?” you flinch when you hear Aegon's voice. He slips from his saddle and lands next to Sunfire's leg. He wears black leather with the inserted signet of his house. He's already taken off his gloves and he's completely wet. Individual drops of rain fall from his blonde hair. Sunfyre turns from Aegon to you and comes a few steps toward you, black smoke threads coming from his nostrils.You shy away from the golden monster. "You don't have to be afraid." You look at him in disbelief. Aegon strokes the dragon's neck.
"Come here."
“No.”
Aegon rolls his eyes, but he smiles. “Don’t worry little Rose.”
You want to tell him that you're not Little Rose, but the way you're standing against the wall, scared, you don't believe yourself. Pride takes hold of you and you slowly take a few steps closer until you stand next to Aegon and Sunfyre. "Can I take your hand?" you nod. Aegon takes your hand. His skin is cold from the rain outside, but you still feel like a warm shiver is running down your arm. Aegon places your hand carefully on Sunfyre's neck. The dragon's skin feels different than you thought. You thought the scales were cold and hard, but the dragon radiates incredible heat. “See not dangerous.” Aegon is so close to you that his breath tickles your ear and you get goosebumps on the back of your neck. Your hand carefully strokes the dragon's neck. Sunfyrer holds still, but his eyes watch you carefully.
“I always thought dragons didn’t like strangers.” you say quietly and lower your hand, but Aegon doesn’t let go.
“It depends on the dragon. They are like us, have preferences, hate things, like certain hunting areas. And you’re not a stranger.”
You turn slightly to look at him questioningly, you were never as close to the dragon as you are now. “I told him about you.”
You’re just speechless for a moment. “Why?” your voice doesn’t sound like your voice at all, it sounds thin.
“I tell him everything that happens in my life.” Aegon answers you and then he smiles at his dragon. He looks at least 2 years younger than he is. "He is my best friend. For a while he was my only friend." Aegon strokes the dragon's neck lovingly, then he turns completely to you, his one hand is still in yours and he plays with your fingers.
“I’m glad we’re friends.”
You just stare at him speechless for a moment. Yes, Aegon had insisted on your friendship. He practically begged you to be his friend, but hearing that from him still somehow surprises you. And it makes you happy in a strange way.
“I’m glad too that we are friends.” you answer him and you mean it. Yes Aegon is your friend. Even a good friend, oddly enough.
Your gaze goes from his eyes to his lips and back to his eyes again. How would his lips feel on yours? You take a step back to put distance between you and Aegon. This man is your best friend's husband! And your friend. But Aegon takes another step towards you, his hand finds yours again and your fingers intertwine almost automatically. It's a strange feeling, but also somehow nice.
“Y/N…” he starts but a loud roar from the dragon pit makes you both flinch. Aegon narrows his eyes. "Dreamfyre."
“What?” How does he know? It could have been any of the dragons down there. The princess's children had, of course, brought their dragons with them from Dragonstone. Syrax and Caraxes are also down there.
“Wait here.” Aegon turns away and runs towards the dragon pit, worry sparkling in his eyes.
“No Aegon! Wait." but he's already gone and you're standing next to Sunfyre, unsure, confused and frustrated with yourself and him.
The dragon seems to be watching you. “You’re not eating me, are you?” you then ask and almost laughed at yourself. Dragons only understand high Valyrian. Or? Do they even understand it or are they just reacting to it? Is it magic? You don't know enough about dragons to answer these questions. Can anyone actually answer these questions? Sunfyre turns his head in the direction Aegon disappeared, but he remains standing next to you. You think for a moment and then raise your hand again to stroke his golden scales. His eyes flicker to you briefly, but he makes no move to eat you and remains motionless. You don't know how long you wait, but at some point you hear footsteps and the next moment Aegon comes back upstairs with Helaena at his side. Your best friend is crying and her dress is dirty and a little smeared with blood. Cold fear runs down your spine, you run towards the two.
“What happened?” you ask breathlessly and let your gaze roam over Helaena, but apart from a scraped arm she doesn’t seem to be injured.
"Arrax." Aegon's voice drips with anger. You don't know whose dragon Arrax is, but Aegon seems to know.
You take Helaena carefully in your arm, she's trembling.
"I'm fine," she says, trying to give you a brave smile. "The baby too."
The way back to the Red Keep is quiet, Aegon sits next to Helaena and looks at her all the time worried, even though she assures him that she's fine.
"I will kill this bastard and his fucking dragon."
You know everything you're saying right now won't do anything to calm him down, so you shut up and keep holding Helaena's hand. When you arrive in the castle yard, Aegon jumps out of the wagon and rushes inside. You help Helaena out, and you go inside together. The door closes behind you, and Aemond comes to you.
"What happened? Aegon seems..." he stinks when he sees his sister. His gaze goes over her and there is pure concern in his eyes. "angry." he then ends his sentence. "Sister, are you all right? What happened?“
"Arrax has come too close to Dreamfyre," she replies. "She was worried about me. I fell."
Aemond pulls his eyebrows together. "Go to the Master," he says.
"Y/N, please bring her."
"Of course." you say and drag Helaena in the direction of the master's rooms. But you don't get there, Sir Criston Cole, the queen's sworn sword, gets you two passes in advance.
"Princess, Lady Y/N the King demands your presence in the Throne room."
"She has to see the master first." you contradict without thinking, and only then you notice that you have contradicted a direct order of the king, and fear shrinks in your stomach. Sir Cole's face turns a little, and he's nibbling. Nevertheless, he says,
"The king says immediately.“ you can hear from his voice that he doesn't like this order, but he's part of the Kings Guard. He has to do what the king asks.
"All right." Helaena says and so you are on your way to the Throne room. When the double doors open, they release a strange scene. Aegon, Aemond and the queen on one side, the princess, her uncle-husband, and two of her sons and the king on the other side. Aegon curses and screams, the hand that his mother puts on his arm he roughly pushes away. Lucerys has a blue eye and blood sticking to his lip.
"That doesn't explain why my son is being attacked." Rhaenyra brushs over Aegon's curse. "I demand an explanation and a punishment!"
The king looks at his two children, first his heiress, then his firstborn son.
No one is watching you as you and Helaena walk through the room and stand beside Aemond. Helaena holds your hand tightly in hers and you notice her hands trembling. So you rub your thumb over the back of her palms to calm her down. The Queen walks at Helaena's other side and takes her other hand, giving you a grateful smile.
"Arrax attacked Helaena," Aegon insists.
"That's not true! He would nerver do that." answers Lucerys. "Surely Dreamfyre attacked him and he just wanted to defend himself."
"Dreamfyre was chained! Why not Arrax?“ Aemond asks.
"On the Dragonstone they are also free."
"Than go back to Dragonstone, Bas…."
"Aegon," cries the Queen. He looks briefly at his mother, then walks his gaze over his nephew and back to Helaena who is still standing in her dirty dress and blood-smelted arm. His gaze remains at the curvature of her stomach, again flashes pure hate in his eyes.
"Bastard." he spit the word into Lucery's face. Jacaerys comes a few steps toward you, his hand to his fist. Helaena and you unconsciously retreat from his aggression, Ameond next to you also takes a step forward and stands between Jacerys and the Queen. There's tension in the room, and you know, if one of the princes is taking a wrong step now, there's gonna be a fight, or worse. Gods be good, let them all calm down.
"Enough!" shouts the king, Helaena squeezes slightly beside you and presses your hand stronger. Aemond mirrors his nephew with a murderous look in the eye. Lucerys was the one who cut off his eye in that terrible night on Driftmark. There were no consequences then, and you're almost sure there won't be any today. "Aegon! I should have your tongue cut out for that, you know the law." Aegon turns his eyes at his father's words, you know exactly what he thinks, "Try it old man." The King ignores Aegons despite and simply continues to speak. “I don't want any quarrels! Not on my name day! How many times should I tell you all that you should get along? What else should I do?“
You are confused and angry at him, does he not know that you cant demand such things?
"You're not doing anything!" Aegon exclaims to his father. The King raises his hand and strikes him in the face. But he is old and sick, the blow may not have really hurt, yet it was humiliating. The Queen gasps next to you.
"I said enough!“
"Father! You let him get away with such an insult, such a lie?“ says Rhaenyra. She doesn't pay any attention to Aegon and his siblings, but only looks at her father.
You look at her unbelievingly. What's going on here? Helaena was attacked and now Aegon is the one how gets to be punished? The King shakes his head, his gaze is deeply sad and at this moment he seems incomprehensibly old and sick, so you wonder why he can still stand on his own.
"Aegon, you will apologize."
The blonde prince laughs cheerlessly.
"I'm gonna do a shit." “That’s not enough,” Aegon and Rhaenyra say at the same time. Aegon looks at his older sister, Rhaenyra looks at him, her look is ice-cold just like his. For a moment, brother and sister sparkled in anger. Then Aegon breaks eye contact, turns back and escapes from the throne room,. Rhaenyra opens her mouth to say something, but the Queen interferes now.
"We should forget the matter," she says in a firm voice.
"Yes." Viserys agrees. “I don’t want to hear about it anymore. Into your cambers all of you!" his voice does not tolerate contradiction.
Helaena moves her weight back and forth next to you, she is dissatisfied with this result. You are too. Even if you didn't expect anything else. Rhaenyra makes a dissatisfied sound, but her husband puts one hand on her shoulder and with the other hand scolds the children out of the room.
Aemond looks at his mother, who nods and releases Helaena's hand, then takes her face into her hands and kisses her forehead. "Please go to the Master my child, I will come to you soon."
"Yes, Mother." says Helaena, you follow her from the throne room, a few steps behind you. The door closes behind you and a few tears flow from Helaena's eyes. You grap her hand quickly. You want to say something, but Aemond stands next to you and puts his hand on his sister's arm.
"Y/N," he says and looks at you. "Please follow Aegon. I will bring Helaena to the master."
"Wouldn't it be better if you talk to him?" you want to stay with Helaena, you want to make sure she's okay.
"No. Believe me, Y/N, it's better if you do that. When I speak to him, the Strong brothers will be found in their beds tomorrow with their throats cut open.” his voice is cold, and you've got a shock over your back. That wasn't a joke. You squeeze Helaena's hand, let go of her, and then follow Aegon. He has take the way to his cambers, and you hear the door slaming two corridors ahead, so loudly he beats it into the fishing. You encounter two maidens who quickly escape from the prince's rooms, presumably he screamed at them and sent them away. Without knocking, you just open your door and step in, quietly close it behind you.
"I told you to go." Aegon revolves furiously around, his eyes shine dangerously and his whole body trembles, but when he sees you, he relaxes his shoulders. He close his eyes and take a few breaths. He doesn't move for a second, then he turns away from you and throws his cup of wine against the nearest wall. You're scared, but Aegon is not done yet. His next target are the chairs, the wood crushed as he blows it against the table with full vigour, splinters flying and the candlestick, as well as a vase of flowers that were placed on the table, falling to the ground creeping. The scraps spread and the water mess up the tail of your dress, but that doesn't really matter to you.
"Aegon." you start, but he doesn't hear you. He's too caught up in his anger. It is only after he has destroyed half his facility that he seems to calm down a little bit. His breath goes fast as his eyes restlessly wander through the room, like he was looking for something. His body is still trembling with anger. Then his gaze find yours. For a second it seems like time is stopping, you don't even dare to breathe. Then a sop comes out of Aegon's throat, tears run over his face, and he falls to his knees. With quick steps you are near him, sink next to him on the cold stone floor and pull him into a tight hug. He clings to you and starts crying in your neck. You rock him back and forth, like a child, as you try to calm him down. Silently you sing a melody, the song of the knights of the roses.
"I hate him. I wish he was dead." He wishspers quietly in your shoulder. You know he's talking about the King. You can understand him. Even if it's actually high treason what he says. You stroke over his shoulders to calm him down. “My brother lost his eye, he didn’t care. My pregnant sister was attacked and wounded by this dragon worm, he didn't care. Where is the border? When did he start to care? Does one of us have to die first?“ you have no answer to his questions, there is no answer. His eyes are filled with tears, but his eyes stick to your face. You can feel tears accumulating in your eyes.
"I'm so sorry," you say and you mean it. No one deserved such treatment and it's even worse because this treatment comes from his father. You reinforce your grip around his shoulders, push him closer to you. You want to show him that he's not as lonely as he feels right now. At some point his tears dry on his cheeks, he collapse in your arms. Your knees hurt because you're sitting on the cold stone floor and your back hurts slightly, yet you don't move a bit and just hold Aegon in your arm. "You should sleep." you say in silence. He nods at your neck, slowly he rises up. His eyes are bloodshot, he's pale and his gaze is matte. Nevertheless, he helps you on your feet, his hand doesn't let go of yours and he starts playing with your fingertips.
"Will you stay with me?“ he speaks so quietly that you are sure you just imagined his question, but he looks at you uncertain. Your heart almost tears at the sight, and before you can even think, you nod. You go to his big bed, Aegon falls on the soft mattress and just pulls you with him. You end up next to him and of course his bed is a thousand times softer than yours and a hundred times more comfortable than Helaenas. The sheets smell like him, everything here smells like him. You slide under the blanket and slide a little back and forth until you lie comfortably, you don't care if you ruin your dress, it's messed up anyway. Aegon is lying next to you, so close that your fingertips can touch each other, he's rubbing his finger over yours. Seven hells, what are you doing here? You lie in the prince's bed. With the prince. With your friend Aegon. You close your eyes. The gods would curse you, but for what are the gods good at all when they are so unjust? So you decide you don't care tonight. You slide closer to Aegon, lift your arm and lay it around him, start to gently fondle his neck and comb through the short hair. He makes a sound that lies somewhere between whimpering and sighing.
"Is this okay for you?“ you ask quietly and feel him noding.
"Yes. More than okay. Please don't stop," he whispered. A smile play around your lips and you sink deeper into the soft pillows, not stopping fondle his neck and hair. His breath is starting to calm down, his shoulders are relaxing and his hand is laying under the blanket on your hips. He holds you tight even if you're not planning on going anywhere.
"Sleep well, Aegon." you say in the dark after a few moments, you're not even sure if he's still awake.
"Sleep well, my little rose."
**
taglist: @arabellachant
#aegon ii targaryen#Aegon II#aegon x reader#aegon ii x reader#aegon ii fanfic#hotd fanfic#house of the dragon#hotd#aemond targaryen#heleana targaryen#helaena targaryen#house targaryen#aegon ii x you#aegon ii x y/n#dragons and roses#part 2
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Trembling Essence:💙Choice exploration + finished scenes💙
Hello and welcome new followers, here's an update on how things are going with the game! Firstly a big thank you to the sudden influx of support I got this week, I'm happy knowing people liked the little meme video I did! :,]
This post might be a little long since I had to rewrite a few things, I was trying to upload a picture of one of the new areas you can go in but I got an error and couldn't save what I wrote. :,S
Anywho, I mainly focused on quality of life changes and continued working with the one of the endings you can get at the start of the game.
I don't really know where to start but this ending took a lot longer than expected to really hit what I've been trying to go for.
At first, it was going to have two different endings. I took out one of them because I didn't have much of a connection with it and I liked the idea of it being straightforward instead. When I went back over it, everything happened too quickly for my liking.
To fix this I went back and added a few choices to at least give you an idea of what the area is like and how it effects the player(Y/N) while making sure the dialog transitioned correctly with what you see on the screen. It's nothing too wordy but I do like it a lot more than I did before. Even though this is still considered one ending there is a alternate version you can get depending on a certain choice. Towards the end I fixed up all the spelling errors I could find and happily enough, there wasn't many. For right now I'd say this ending is finished! Yay! x]
Here's one of my favorite CG's I drew for it:
I love how it turned out because I really want to do different angles and perspective through the terrain, I think this one is my favorite so far! :,,]
Here's a evening time version of it:
It's suppose to be raining in this image but I still need to practice getting the angle correct. :,,]
I'm also fixing/brainstorming up the second/third ending. This one will have two different areas you can navigate through to get an idea of where you are and a few hints of lore that will be referenced later on in the game. Those that have played the [Extended Demo] you probably know which ones I'm talking about. >;]
I already like the idea of them but for one of the paths, I didn't have enough time to branch it out and make backgrounds for it in the [Extended Demo] so here's a peek of a placeholder since I'm still sketching stuff out, nothing is finalized yet. :[]
Super close to the cabin section, yay! I actually miss writing/drawing out the segments in the cabin a whole bunch so I really can't wait to fix up that part once I'm done with the swamplands. :,,]
I said last week I'd post some of the new backgrounds/areas so here you go:
Kofi update:
I also had a small talk with my play testers and one of the things they brought up is that I should be promoting my ko-fi better so from now on I'll have little mini doodles doing so at the end of every game development post as a way to promote it! :]
All donations and tips help tremendously while I work on the game. If you like what I create, please consider supporting what I do here! I was able to use previous tips to get a new wrist support brace when I'm drawing so a very big thank you to everyone who gave a tip! :,,]
Q&A / Ask box is open:
If you have any questions about Trembling Essence/Noah feel free to ask here or on itch.io please. This makes it easier for me to see and answer accordingly! I would really like to hear from you guys!
I enjoyed answering the asks I got recently this week! I'm trying to finish the rest when I can including the ones I remember that got deleted. There were some I genuinely couldn't answer because it would require me to mention major spoilers/the questions have spoilers in them. :,]
This post is getting really long now so that's all I have to discuss, thank you guys very much for all of the encouraging support this past week, I appreciate it a whole bunch! :,,]
#male yandere#visual novel#dating sim#yandere#itch.io#interactive fiction#illustration#digital art#te updates#yandere vn#vndev#anime drawing#renpy#gamedev#anime artist#indie game#otome#artists on tumblr#vn#digital painting
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Compilation of EVERY single time they changed Hobie's filter in the digital version:
Left: Theatrical release Right: Digital release
You might have to click on some of them to get a better look at Hobie, sadly I don't have a video editor that allows me to make better edits than these :')
#This took so long to make lol#cause I had to edit every scene with Hobie from both versions so I could watch them right after one another to compare them#I did this with ALL the scenes he's in also the ones where he's on screen as spider-punk#but they only changed his filters in these scenes so it was a waste of time :')#sidenote: no it wasn't it's never a waste of time to look at hobie I just couldn't use it for my GIFset lol#I also made a bouns one but I'm not allowed to post more than 30 GIFs in one post apparently so I guess I just won't add it then...#but Hobie was basically filterless during all these scenes in the theatrical version#I like that they gave him more different filters in the digital version#the only change I don't like is in the first GIFs#cause like that one post pointed out it looks like they removed his lipstick for some reason#also really wish I had a better video editor so we could get a closer look at Hobie but I did my best with what I had#also slowed some of them down to get a better look at them#been having this idea for a while and now I finally finished it!#which means I can go back to working on my fics now#hopefully lol#also lemme know if there are some other scens you guys want me to make comparisons of#cause I have both versions#the theatrical release isn't the highest quality though so if you know where I can get my hands on a better version lemme know ;)#hobie brown#spider punk#miles morales#spider man#peter b parker#jess drew#miguel o'hara#spider man across the spider verse#across the spider verse#across the spiderverse#atsv#theatrical version
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The other researchers are also here! (magical edition!)
#neopets#neotag#neoart#eyrie#gelert#THE BOYS ARE HEREEE#vin doods#my beautiful magical boyssss#had some time to kill this weekend so might as well finish rendering some stuff i have lying around lmao#its ironic cause my oc stuff is the stuff that gets less views or reacts overall but is the ones im more interested in for the most part#its been a while since i've actually really loved an bunch of ocs and this 4 (technically 5) are going to be the death of me lol#just to be consistent with the other post#eyrie's name is Ozzi or Oz#and gelert's name i'm still unsure of but for now I'm going with Faeran#i'm so emotionally invested in these characters you have no idea LMFAOO#also I did base Faeran's looks in a lot of “long dogs” like borzois and the ears just came naturally to me lol#I'm still working on a doc with all the info for those interested tho buuut if any are reading by this point feel free to ask about them!!#I'll just never shut up lol#the neopia i did put them in is a tad bit more.... “dark”?? i guess??#its less abstractly magical and i did have to find out how to build a magic system for everything to work lol#and my dnd knowledge did filter a l o t into it so sorry bout that oops:;;#anyway this is too long and hardly anyone really reads this much but hey! finally my babies have faces so i don't feel so bad!!!#it doesnt help that i post this stuff at buttfuck hours LMFAOO
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Photo
The waves continued to lap against the shore. Push and pull. Breathe in, breathe out.
“What triggered it?”
The question was quiet, and so out of the blue it took Wilbur a moment to realize Tommy had asked it.
“What do you mean?” Wilbur asked.
“Your panic attack,” Tommy clarified, his hair tickling Wilbur’s cheek again. “Was it random, or did something trigger it?”
"Your Name Is A Triangle" by @bonesandthebees
song i drew this to
alt version under the cut
#These past few months have been Hard for me art wise#No desire to even pick up the pen for the first few weeks after the wilbur finale and then utter demotivation because of tommys#At some point my passion for the mcyt fandom hanged by one thread- fanfiction#and the only fics i wanted to read were those of someone i already know and love#I was miserable over the idea no crimeboys content will make me emotional anymore#The first fic I willed myself to read is This one#and it was the biggest most sought-after surge of positive emotion I've experienced in a while#so relatable and soft and real and in character and so. full of love#Bee revitalized me to the point i instantly jumped to sketch this art the image was SO CLEAR. And I drew and It Worked I could draw#And till recently i couldnt find time to finish it and post it but even the coloured sketch brought me so much hope and joy to look at#Now one of my favorite pieces for so many reasons#Love your resident fic writers#Give them apprecition on the daily#they're my forever heroes#crimeboys#crime boys#crime boys fanart#mcyt fanfiction#wilbur soot#wilbur soot fanart#fanfiction fanart#tommyinit fanart#tommyinnit#mcyt
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uh oh another dndads wip for this wednesday!!! uh oh it's swiftli again. uh oh it's,,, oh they're having a bad time actually,,, oh no >:]
#cookies and i have been tossing this idea back and forth in dms for a While now so i thought i'd finally attempt to write it#hopefully this gets finished. hopefully. bc it's very fun <333#dndads#fic#happi scribbles#swiftli
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Sometimes I really kind of envy you native English speakers who make writing and posting fics seem so fucking easy. With near perfect grammar and hardly any typos. Or those of you who are capable of writing & updating your fics whenever the muse hits you just right... and not like, once in six months. Actually, try two years lol.
Whereas me, a non-native speaker, who occasionally struggles even with basic English grammar:
I'm fine. Totally.
#personal#okay so i've been writing this one piece of fiction for a while now#actually two but i've seemed to put the other one on hold for a while at least#(i may have mentioned this already like five times during the past two weeks but my point is i'm still working on it)#many thanks to @ihni who recently gave me some words of encouragement <3 and ofc @catzy88 who gave me even more insp *saatananauru*#and i'm actually really kind of enjoying it because there's no pressure to write it and post it#i write it in small sections. whenever i feel like it. giving myself enough time to plan it and think about it. even getting new ideas#and for once i'm trying not to keep editing and fixing it as i go. i just write whatever crap comes to my mind and just let it flow#i try not to think about how many mistakes and typos i make because that way i'm never gonna get it finished#but at the same time... when it's finally time to go through it#fix typos. missing words. possibly poor grammar. i know i'm just gonna hate it so fucking much lmao#but i'm really trying my best here okay. and i'm trying not to rush it. for once#because i used to write like this as a teenager. when there was nowhere really to post your original stories (thank god for that)#so i did it in my notebooks. and i quite enjoyed it doing that way#and i'm not sure why i'm even rambling this because most of you are never gonna read it anyway lol. so who gives right#but it matters to me and i'm feeling good about writing again so here i am rambling about it. no matter if you care not. so cheers mateys <
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i have 7 assignments, total, left in school. once i finish those i'm going to be done- i graduate in may which is WILD to think about. i just have to fucking do them
#im not getting anything done today so far and its like. midway through the afternoon already#and i realized how close i am to graduating and how i have no idea what comes after that and now im just kind of directionlessly panicked#which is. really helping the situation as you could imagine /s#im really close to finishing a couple of things rn. could get at least one done today#i REALLY need to get to work on my essay bc that largely determines whether i get honours and im pretty behind schedule on it#and i havent looked at at least one final assn and i do NOT have much time left to start it. its not small#theres barely any time left in the semester at all#i just need to finish Smth today#levi.txt#i cant make myself do anything and im panicked abt that which makes it impossible to do anything#and taking breaks makes me feel guilty AND panicked so i cant even reset w a short break and come back#my parents Consistent response to my anxiety has been. poor at best. and they dont believe i have adhd at all#so if i talk to them abt either of those things they get upset w me and claim i just dont want to take their 'advice' so i cant be helped#and the advice is shit like 'dont feel that way' and 'simply go do your work'#like. i talked to my mom abt how stressed i feel bc im behind and her response was basically 'thats what you get for falling behind'#i havent seen my friends in a while either or at least not in an environment where we can actually hang out and talk#idk man. i just really wish i could stay in bed and watch a show and not feel sick bc of how anxious i am abt it all#i want to write again. i miss it a lot i havent been able to write in months now
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Have accidentally ended up reading 6 books at once. How did this happen. We’re smarter than this
#‘we’re’ is just referring to me. there’s no collective here#anyway i know damn well it’s a bad idea for me to read more than 2-3 books at once because i end up setting at least one to the side#for so long that i either forget what happened in it or lose all enthusiasm or both and have to dnf#but. my brain keeps going ‘bök :)’ and i just end up picking up more of them#does anyone want to know what books they are? well i’m going to tell you anyway#first one i picked up was milk fed by melissa broder. it’s a pretty compelling and easy read; i’m like halfway through#but for some reason i just keep putting it down for several days at a time. it’s just not grabbing me#second was slouching towards bethlehem by joan didion which is absolutely brilliant but i just don’t feel i have the braincells#to adequately appreciate it right now. i really should stick to reading one nonfiction book at a time (will get to the other one soon)#third is jackdaw by kj charles and i’m 3 chapters from the end but i accidentally spoiled the ending for myself and now i’m trying#to convince myself to continue. i mean. i Will continue. i don’t dislike any of ms charles’s work that i’ve read#it’s just difficult to convince myself. this one just.. is not my favourite i won’t lie#i absolutely love jonah but i’m indifferent to ben and i’m kind of feeling like this could’ve been a short story rather than a 200 page book#next one i picked up was into thin air by john krakauer. other nonfiction book. again; i don’t have enough braincells#but i’m really liking it. i feel like i have to convince myself to finish it soon so i don’t forget what’s already happened#fifth is a reread of the starless sea and honestly i know the first time i read this it took me kind of a while so i’m not that concerned#that i keep stopping and starting. it’ll grab me again soon#sixth and final is the ascent of rum doodle. my mom told me to read it when she found out i was reading into thin air & had watched sherpa#i’m only 30 pages in but it’s such a great satire. it won’t take me long to read at all#in summary i’m going to need everyone to leave me alone over the weekend so i can make a dent in these books#i can definitely finish jackdaw; milk fed & rum doodle soon & probably follow those up with thin air#tss & stb will take a bit longer but those require and deserve my full attention#plus i can get back to them literally any time i want. i already know the plot of tss & stb is literally essays so it’s fine#next up.. i have a couple of books about teaching i want to read because i can pass that off as cpd#then i’m hopefully going to reread drowning in fire and then maybe try to finish the magpie lord spinoffs#should be fun!#personal
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ৎ⸝⸝⠀COCKWARMING ! —
#pairing : lucifer, alastor, vox, valentino, x gn reader.
#cw : 18+ content, mdni. unprotected sex. edging. office sex. public sex. sub/power sub reader. no mentions of specific anatomy. vox is in an online meeting for work. touch starved lucifer. val blowing his smoke on you for fun. non proofread because it's six in the fuckin morning and I have not slept a wink.
#summary : in which they keep themselves buried deep inside of you while being busied by other stuff.
#note : save me, I've been writing nothing but hazbin smut lately. i should really start working on other shows.. alastor's a bit shorter than the others, can't really think of a solid idea for him and I wanted to get this out as soon as possible
ʚ LUCIFER .
lucifer whines when you force him to focus on his unfinished work once again. he has been going back and forth from attempting to thrust into you, but you always found a way to press him down in his place firmly. he had some unfinished work that he left sitting in his office for almost a week now, and it irritated you. that's when you offered to cockwarm him while he worked, get him to finally get his hands on those unfinished works.
being absolutely touch starved, lucifer agreed without hesitation unaware of how miserable and impatient this will make him. his hand remain on his working desk, occasionally scribbling some words and a signature on the paper filled with printed words. he does his best to resist the urge to finally thrust into you, worried that you'd leave him unsatisfied if he doesn't do as he's told.
but there's a limit to how much he can contain himself, especially when he has you sitting on his lap with his cock stuffing you to the brim, when you'd tease him so often by clenching around him or moving your hips ever so slightly. lucifer whines every time, the hand that's placed on your hip squeezing on your flesh desperately.
"can i please.. just finish this up later?" his voice muffled from nuzzling his face into your shoulder, eyes closed shut to focus on the warmth engulfing his throbbing member. you let out a small chuckle, baring your teeth into his neck to draw out those pretty moans of his; his cock leaks pathetically inside of you.
"no can do, luci. you're not going to get whatever you want until you finish up." you pull away and tilt your head slightly, pressing a soft kiss onto his jaw while giving a quick glance at the papers sprawled across his desk. he's only halfway done with them. "you're doing pretty well, no? you're halfway done."
lucifer groans, annoyed as he picks up the pen from the desk again while reading through the papers. this time, you decide to tease him a little more instead of staying still. you connect your lips with his exposed neck, sucking on the sensitive skin as your hips slowly grind against his. you hear his breath hitch, his knuckles turning white from how hard he's gripping you.
your name spills out from his lips breathlessly, following with a whimper that you love so much. you carry on with your actions, dark marks gradually bloom all over his skin like breathtaking flowers. lucifer shifts to lay his forehead on your shoulder, shuddering from pleasure; you tug on his soft hair, firm enough to lift his head up from your shoulder.
"stay focused, luci. remember what's waiting for you to finish your work."
ʚ ALASTOR .
"oh, what a twist!" alastor exclaims with his eyes glued to the book he's reading, chuckling like you're not clenching down on his cock out of desperation. your eyes are teary as you turn to peek at the page he's on, frustration brewing in your chest. upon noticing your reaction, alastor laughs while moving his hand to cup your face, leaning in with a grin. "don't you agree, my dear?"
you groan, parting your lips further enough to drop his thumb into your mouth, biting down on it. alastor mutters a small "fiesty" before buckling up his hips, watching your eyes widen from the sudden pleasure that shoots up your veins. his arm tightens around your waist to stop you from squirming around excessively.
"put.. the fuckin' book down, a-alastor.." your nails dig into his shoulder through the fabric of his shirt, the back of your other hand hovering over your mouth with a frown on your face. alastor smiles in response, holding the book between the both of you now that there's a gap.
"why, it has only gotten interesting! patience is key, darling."
"it has been almost a whole fucking hour, alast-" your words get cut off by yet another harsh thrust of his hips, an uncontrollable moan slipping off your tongue. a low, barely audible grunt could be heard coming from alastor because of how you're squeezing around him like your life depends on it.
slowly, he places the book down, pushing two digits into your mouth as his sharp nails graze past your gums. your tongue swirls around them, gaze fixated on his that seems to be mocking your desperation. you grind your hips, wanting to feel more of that sensitive spot in you being stimulated by his tip brushing against it. alastor grunts every time you tighten around him, the feeling making his skin jump and his eyes close shut from the pleasure he receives.
you reach for the book to toss it aside, not allowing him any chance to get it back and return to what he was previously putting you through. he laughs at the action before getting cut off by yet another groan, a frown slowly finds its way to spread across his face despite the grin that remains on his lips.
"the book shall wait after all."
ʚ VOX .
the sound of vox's workers and colleagues echoes through his workplace, the source of it coming from the laptop that sits in front of him. he's holding an urgent meeting with them to discuss some things about work, yet you're here obediently sitting on him, cockwarming him. your arms hug his neck tightly, hands grabbing tightly onto his shirt while listening to him speak to the people in call.
you bite down every moan that builds in your throat, not allowing any sound to be heard by anyone but your partner. times when vox isn't discussing important matters, he leans into your ear to whisper praises, thrusting into you, and stops so suddenly when you're close to release.
he grins as you whine at the sudden loss of friction, skin flushed while feeling him draw lazy circles on your hips with his thumbs. he starts speaking again just when you're about to voice your frustration, drawing out a grumble from you. you stay there unattended, glancing at the part where the two of you connect; you're craving release, and you're done waiting.
with a steady pace, you move your own hips while holding onto his shoulders for support. vox's head snaps toward your direction, teeth gritting as he bites back the groans that threaten to leave his lips. he tries to hold you down, but his body betrays him and allows you to carry on with your movements. his head tilts back to lean against the headrest of his chair, the words that his workers speak gradually shifting to a blur in his mind.
"fuck, w-wait," his breath grows heavy, barely managing to keep his eyes open as you fuck yourself on his cock. you're supposed to be cockwarming him, not riding him. he has allowed you to the point of no return, how is he going to carry on with the meeting now? you grab him and connect your lips with his, drinking in his groans like how he does to your moans.
ignoring the calls of his name from the meeting, he pulls you closer by the waist as you grind yourself on him. it wasn't until he started getting annoyed by the meeting that he broke away from the kiss, strings of saliva still connecting your lips while his hand reached out to shut the laptop down. the room falls to a sudden silence, the only sounds that remain are your heavy breathing.
"you're gonna fuck up my company if this carries on," vox snickers before crashing his lips with yours again, hands holding onto your hips to thrust into you without anything holding him back this time.
ʚ VALENTINO .
you still can't process the fact that you're in valentino's studio with his cock buried deep inside of you while people walked around to work on set. valentino takes puffs from the cigarette he holds between his fingers, often ordering and even yelling at people as they rush to obey his commands.
nobody pays any mind to the both of you; in fact, they see it as something normal. after all, they're working for a porn producer, what is there not to be normal? you keep your face stuffed in the fluff of his coat, hands gripping tightly onto his outfit while still trying to adjust to how good he stretches you apart. everyone has just started working, and the set is still being prepared for a new film.
"you're tighter than usual my love, are you that excited to be around everyone?" he teases with a mocking tone, puffing out a wisp of pink smoke onto your flushed face. you lightly shake your head with a whine, the smoke that you inhale causing your vision to spin immediately. humming, valentino lifts your body up with the help of his lower pair of arms before roughly slamming you back down onto his cock. "I doubt that. you've always loved being fucking in public, no? look at you,"
you gasp, body tensing as a moan escapes your throat. you immediately bite down on your lower lip, eyes screwing shut while simultaneously having your body trembling under his hold. you don't want to draw too much attention to yourself, yet the idea alone excites you in an odd way that you never knew it would. noting your reaction, valentino continues repeating the action before stopping promptly, feeding himself with your choked back moans.
"keep looking pretty like that while i work, i'll have a reward waiting for you." you mewl at his words, giving him a weak nod while tugging onto his shirt. he takes another long drag from his cigarette before letting his gaze fall onto the prepared set displayed in front of him, eyes scanning for the stars of the show in the room.
he would moan softly into your ear whenever you clenched around him, teasing you with his mere voice and carrying on with his work. you don't complain, though, considering how you'll be fucked into a moaning mess once he's done with work.
© silas ( @silasours ). all rights reserved. every work posted on this account belongs to me, and only me. please refrain from reposting, plagiarizing, translating, or reproducing my work in any form possible.
#﹕a dream to nowhere.#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#alastor#alastor x reader#hazbin alastor#hazbin lucifer#lucifer#lucifer smut#lucifer x reader#alastor smut#hazbin vox#vox x reader#vox smut#valentino x reader#hazbin valentino#valentino smut#hazbin hotel headcanon#hazbin hotel smut#hazbin hotel imagine#lucifer morningstar#the vees#hazbin x reader#hazbin hotel drabble
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