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itsmarsss · 23 hours

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Scandalous [Blitzø x Fem!Succubus!Reader x Stolas] (Helluva Boss) Bonus - Friendless Horse-Fuckers And Their Sissy Lifestyles

How the mighty do fall. (Getting into a weird three-way situation with an imp and a succubus isn't exactly considered classy, Stolas)

If there's one thing all members of I.M.P. can agree on, it's their distaste for visits to the Greed ring.

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3 | pt. 4 | pt. 5

Warnings: this chapter does not interfere with the plot of the series. mentions of sex all around as usual, Chaz deserves a warning of his own cause hes annoyin, Crimson does too cause he's awful. This is basically just the exes and ohhs episode just for funsies. There's a hint somwhere out here of something important that will happen in a future chapter, i doubt yall can figure it out!!

Word count: 5,630

Business was low today.

So much so that you, Moxxie and Loona had been hanging out in the meeting room, just on your phones, for almost an hour now, while Millie had gone out to get everybody lunch, and Blitzø was in his office doing who-the-fuck-knows-what.

Moxxie turned off his phone, staring at Loona for a few seconds before speaking. “You know, I checked the scale today. It says I lost two pounds this week,” he boasted.

Loona looked up from the screen, only long enough to roll her eyes at him, uninterested. Now that had to be a new type of bored, as usually she wouldn’t miss any opportunity to irritate him by pestering about his weight, which you knew she and Blitzø only really did because they new it wasn’t a real issue- it just made him mad, and they found it hilarious to see him so exasperated.

And it worked every time- this time she didn’t even having to say anything. “I. Am not. Fat!”

The door was kicked open with full force, grabbing everyone’s attention, and Millie entered the room, fuming with anger.

She walked back and forth around the room, each heavy step making it tremble, as she mumbled incoherent insults under her breath. She obviously needed to let out some steam, so you pulled up one of the human cardboard cutouts you used as targets for training for her, and, sure enough, she attacked it instantly, tearing it to shreds with her bare teeth and claws as she let out borderline animalistic shrieks.

Moxxie shot you a scared look, to which you shrugged, in a silent message of ‘she’s your wife, you talk to her’. He cleared his throat. “Millie, honey? Everything okay?”

She full-on hissed at him, but he wasn’t really bothered by it. She took a breath, giving herself a second to calm down and talk to him. “Yeah. I just… bumped into an ex.”

You and Loona immediately whipped your heads around to see Moxxie’s reaction. He tried to seem cool. “Oh! Ohh…”

Millie kept on complaining, her accent thicker than ever, like it always got when she got truly mad. “He just kept going on about how he has money now, and… a bright future! And a bigger cock!”

“Wait, what?” Moxxie questioned, clearly taken aback by the last statement. (Which was a pretty fair thing to be taken aback by.)

“Every time I see his stupid face I can’t help it, I just need to…” She let out a yell, angrily punching the closest thing to her. This time’s victim was the file cabinet beside her, which she took down with one punch, sending the contents of it flying out onto the floor.

Blitzø walked into the room, phone in hand. “What the fuck is all this noise? I got a client!”

“Sorry, sir, I’ll get this all cleaned-” Moxxie kneeled on the floor to collect the mess. “What is this?” He wordlessly held out a really disturbing picture of two imps… in horse costumes… kissing each other. In a rather… gross way.

Blitzø was a freak, that you already knew all too well, but that doesn’t mean any of you wanted to see any of whatever this was. You made eye contact with Moxxie and pretended to gag, making him let out a laugh.

Blitzø walked up to him, grabbing the photo and taking a look at it. “Uhhh, it’s research. For science.” He let go of it, making his way back out of the room. “Put it back correctly, okay? I alphabetized ‘em.”

Sometimes you’d find out about weird shit like this and wonder how it was possible you let this man fuck you every single month. Then the full moon would come around again and he’d shut you right up.

You kneeled on the floor next to Moxxie. “I’ll help you out.” Millie was still out of her mind and Loona didn’t really give a shit, so you and Moxxie began putting everything back in place by yourselves.

You barely had any time to do so, though, because in a minute Blitzø was running back into the room and straight towards the big window. “What the fuck is that?” He asked no one in particular, making you, Moxxie and Millie follow him to the window to see what he was talking about. There was a funny-looking helicopter outside, flying dangerously close to the wall-

There was no wall anymore.

Really, this was getting ridiculous. How many more times would you have to pay to get this stupid wall rebuilt?

Blitzø seemed to be thinking of the same thing. “Satan’s ass crack, enough with the walls! We have a door!” The wind sent most of Blitzø’s weird pictures flying outside, which you were kind of thankful for. He, in turn, hated it. “My research!”

“It’s not the end of the world, I’m sure you can get more freaky horse porn later.”

“Hey that’s not what that is!” He tried defending himself, crossing his arms over his chest.

The helicopter flew closer to the newly created enormous hole on the wall, extending out a ramp so you could make your way inside of it. “I.M.P.? Right this way, please,” the pilot called.

You instinctively grabbed your dagger, and saw Millie and Moxxie pull their own weapons out as well.

“Uh, sir… what’s going on?” Moxxie asked Blitzø, who simply dismissed the imp’s preoccupation with a wave of his hand.

“Nah, don’t worry, it’s just some fancy schmuck from Greed wanting to do business with us,” the boss replied, climbing onto the ramp. Well, if he’s sure it’s okay. The three of you followed him, putting your weapons away.

Moxxie still seemed extremely unsure of the situation. “Uh, sir? I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“It’ll be fine. Now get your asses moving.”

All four of you climbed into the tiny space inside the helicopter. You sat next to Millie, who tried putting on the seatbelt, but realized it was broken. “Uuuuh, is this thing safe?” Taking a better look at it, there wasn’t anything in there that didn’t look much too used or somehow broken.

“Don’t worry! We are professionals!” The pilot guaranteed. You shared a look with her- that hadn’t eased your worries at all. Anyhow, they took off, on your way to the Greed ring. Now that’s a ring you didn’t enjoy visiting all that much.

Moxxie voiced similar thoughts, but sounded much more than just irritated over it. “Ugh, I hate this place.”

“Oh, yeah! This is your old stomping ground, isn’t it?” Blitzø remembered.

“Yeah, unfortunately.” Moxxie looked out of the window, pointing somewhere down. “I grew up just over there. Swore I’d never come back, and- uhhhh… uhhh, what- what- where are we going?” Oh shit, you were flying precisely towards the place Moxxie had just pointed out. His expression went dark, almost… scared. “Blitz, who did you say this meeting was with?”

“I’m not sure. Just some rich somebody or other who wanted to discuss biz at his place.”

The helicopter finally landed, making Moxxie more exasperated than you’ve ever seen him. “Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!” He was literally trembling in fear. This was where he’d grown up, and he was clearly expecting something terrible. But then who could have been the one to call Blitzø up here?

An imp who look freakishly similar to Moxxie, save a few things here and there and the obvious difference in age, walked out of the front door. “There he is! There’s my boy. Get over here and give ya daddy a hug!”

“Daddy?” you, Millie and Blitzø all asked in unison, shocked.

Oh. OH. This was bad, wasn’t it? Because it seemed really, really bad.

None of you really knew anything about Moxxie’s family, as he never really did want to discuss any aspect of his past. You all respected that, letting him tell you only whatever he felt comfortable to. But you did know he did not like speaking about his father in any circumstance whatsoever, and never, ever visited. It wasn’t that difficult to fill in the gaps and realize the man probably sucked. And if he had to do all of this only to trick Moxxie into meeting with him it was certainly because he knew there was no way in hell Moxxie would have agreed if he was simply asked to.

Looking at Moxxie himself was confirmation enough, too. Eyes wide and mouth agape, hands curled into fists in either side of his body, and the slight tremble that still coursed through him, you’d say he looked equal parts pissed and terrified. That surely couldn’t be good.

“I only let Moxxie call me that. Unless ya pay me!” The man laughed an exaggerated laugh.

“Guys, uhm,” Moxxie cleared his throat, visibly uncomfortable. “This is my father, Crimson. Sir, this is my boss, Blitz, my friend, y/n, and my-”

“Millie! I’m his wife!” Millie offered the man a handshake, eagerly introducing herself.

He took her hand, kissing the back of it instead of shaking it. “And what a beautiful wife you are. Mox, where you been hiding this pretty little thang?”

Millie visibly cringed a bit, embarrassed that Moxxie’s father apparently didn’t even know he was married. “Oh, I’m sure he would have introduced us… eventually.”

“Oh, I’m sure, sweetheart,” he agreed before turning to you. “And you’re a… friend, then?” He checked you out, amused, but didn’t bother taking your hand.

“Yup.”

“Must be a really trusting relationship the two of you have that you can be friends with this one, Mox.”

Millie looked stunned that he’d even say that, and Moxxie fumed at the out-of-line comment. You couldn’t form any words to reply.

He moved on to shake Blitzø’s hand. “And you gotta be Blitz, with the silent ‘o’. Right?” Blitzø looked weirded out, but let the man place an arm around his shoulders. “I’ve heard a lot of good things about you and your work.”

“Really? What kind of shit has Moxxie been spreading about me? I’ll fucking kill you, Moxxie, don’t you fucking test me-”

“No, no! From all over! Looks like you’re building a bit of a name for yourself here, kid.”

“Really? Huh, well I guess it’s about time folks recognized my talent.” This seemed suspicious all-around, but Blitzø was letting himself get wooed by all the compliments. Crimson laughed exaggeratedly at his comment, which only solidified your thoughts of him trying desperately to get on his good side. No one’s that funny.

“I like your attitude. Well, I hope you’re all hungry. We put together a fabulous dinner for ya!” Blitzø followed him inside, and you took a last look at Millie and Moxxie behind you before heading in as well, leaving them to talk among themselves. Crimson didn’t seem to think like you, though, yelling out for them and interrupting whatever moment they could have to talk. “Hey, you two. Move it! Before it gets cold.” They followed suit.

Crimson led the four of you to a small, dark room with a bar, two couches and a couple chairs. It all looked very fancy. Moxxie had never let it slip that he’d come from this much money.

Moxxie and Millie sat down next to each other on one of the couches, and you and Blitzø sat side by side on the other one.

Crimson poured a glass of whiskey for Blitzø, and Blitzø only. Classic. “So, Blitz, were you always a hitman?”

“No, not always. You know, I was in the circus for a long time.”

Crimson sat back on his own chair, right across from you. “Show business! Good money in that.” The room fell into an awkward silence as Blitzø downed his drink and he lit up a cigar.

Moxxie spoke up. “What are we doing here… sir?”

It was weird to watch Moxxie refer to someone other than Blitzø as that. You didn’t even think he should call Blitzø that, honestly, but that was for him to decide. But to call his own father something so impersonal? The man had to be strict motherfucker.

“Moooxxiee, I raised you better than that. Ya know there’s no business before dinner! Besides, we’re still waiting on one more.”

One more?

As if perfectly on cue, the door was kicked open, and in made his way a shark demon with a stupid haircut, his energy not matching the one in the room at all. “Woo-hoo-hoo! What is up, party people?”

“CHAZ?” Both Millie and Moxxie asked, wide-eyed, at the same time. “Wait. What?”

Moxxie pointed between Millie and the Chaz guy. “You know him?”

Millie facepalmed, letting out a groan. “You remember that ex I was talking about?” Oh, so that was the guy with the bigger cock or whatever it was?

He walked up to stand behind the couple, squishing them together in an uncomfortable embrace. “Looks like I have two big sex reunions today! How lucky am I?”

Oh fuck. “Did you date him too?” Millie asked Moxxie, both still trapped in the shark’s embrace.

He was the one to answer, too, letting out a laugh, full of himself. “Yeah. No big deal, but I usually bone half the people in any room I’m in.”

You couldn’t even imagine what could have possessed both Moxxie and Millie to date this asshole. What a big fucking upgrade to date this asshole and then to marry each other. That did not seem to be where Blitzø’s mind had wandered with all this. “Are you fucking kidding me? There’s someone who’s fucked both of you?”

“Blitz. Not the vibe, at all,” you elbowed his side and he rolled his eyes.

“What? It’s true!”

Moxxie pulled himself free of Chaz’z hold. “It was a long time ago,” he mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.

The demon wouldn’t let it go, though. “But I remember it like it was yesterday. You, a fledgling mafioso, and me, the dashing and extremely sexy muscle. It was like it was written in the stars!”

Wait. Moxxie had been in… the mafia? You took a better look around the room, taking in the two huge demons with angry expressions guarding the door, the exuberant display of wealth through the decorations, the guns all over the place, the- well, everything. In hindsight, how had you not put it together that Crimson was a mobster the moment you stepped into the estate? It put a lot of stuff into perspective, actually. You couldn’t really imagine Moxxie ever choosing to be in the mob, but his father being a big shot in it? That changed things. It made it a non-choice, an obligation to fulfill.

Blitzø seemed to be processing the information as well, but he was never really known for getting hints, so you knew he wasn’t trying to be inconvenient when he let out a purposefully obnoxious laugh. “HA! Moxxie in the mafia, that’s fucking rich.” His mocking grin slowly turned into a look of realization as he took in the place just like you had. “Oh, shit.”

Millie’s eyebrows raised in concern “you’ve never told me this before!”

Moxxie looked a lot like if he’d merge himself into the couch seat if he could. It was clearly a touchy subject he’d purposefully kept everyone unaware of. It did surprise you that he’d kept it from Millie too, though. “I- I don’t really like to talk about this part of my life, but…” oh boy. It was flashback time.

Moxxie was a dramatic at heart, and the moment before he’d start telling a story was always recognizable, as he adopted a very specific way of speaking. “I first saw Chaz at my induction into the family. Our eyes met from across the room, and there was just something about him. Something… that was… magnetic!” He great great at setting the scene too: you could almost see things unfold as he went on about how he and Chaz came to be.

He dwelled on the memories for a moment. “It’s been 84 years…” Was he quoting titanic right now?

You realized that, but you couldn’t wrap your head around Blitzø noticing it too. There’s no way he’s sat through three hours of Titanic, is there? “Ain’t that from that boat movie?”

“Did any of that stuff actually happen?” Millie questioned.

“Ohhh, yeah. But he skipped over the jizz covered parts,” Chaz replied. Satan, was this guy inconvenient.

“Anyway… things changed when we went on a heist together.” Moxxie went on about how it was supposed to be a simple robbery until things went wrong. He got stuck as they tried to escape, and Chaz ran off with the money, leaving him to be caught. It ended up with him getting thrown in jail, and that part of the story you did know, for he and Blitzø had told you all about it before, as it’s how they met. He’d never told anyone what had gotten him there in the first place until now.

“Once I got out, I never looked back.” He seemed proud of that last statement. Millie, on the other hand, was focusing on another part of the story, and it was making her growl.

Chaz seemed uneasy, and it was within reason to feel uneasy: she clearly had intentions to rip him to shreds. “Well…” he pulled on the collar of his shirt, nervous. “It was a long time ago.”

“I’ll fucking kill you!” She yelled out, not a moment of hesitation before attempting to jump on him, who hid behind Crimson’s chair like a coward.

“Crazy bitch!”

Millie pulled out a knife in pire, blind rage. Okay, maybe now was time to do something about this before things got messy. As much as you didn’t really care if the asshole lived or died: he should die for what he did to your friend and also… he was an all around annoying dude. But it probably wouldn’t be any good to have her kill a mob boss’ special guest.

Thinking along the same line as you, Moxxie and Blitzø pulled her back to stop her, and you carefully grabbed the knife from her hand. She breathed heavily, but stopped fighting. The anger wasn’t going anywhere, though. “You should die, bitch.” Again, fair.

A maid calmly walked into the room, completely unfazed by the chaos happening in it, to announce the food had been served.

At the dinner table, Millie’s eyes shot daggers at the shark imp, who ate happily by her side, Moxxie’s expression got more depressing by the second, and Blitzø was visibly antsy. You were unsure what to do as you waited for someone to break the silence.

Unfortunately, the person to do so was Blitzø. You love him (well, maybe not love him, but you get the gist), but man, was he not blessed with the gift of good timing. “So. This is aggressively uncomfortable.”

You twirled a piece of meat around on your plate with a fork, looking at him. “No shit.”

“I’m just saying what everyone’s thinking.”

“I suppose ya wanna know why ya here,” Crimson finally said.

“Yeah, so what gives? I mean, you know we kill people on earth, right? We don’t normally do contracts for locals.”

“Not anymore,” you chimed in.

“Yeah. So if you wanna do business with us, you gotta-“

“I don’t wanna do business with I.M.P.” Crimson stated. “I wanna do business with Moxxie.”

Moxxie all but jumped on his seat, startled. “Me?”

“Yeah. I summoned I.M.P. to be sure you’d show.” Oh, so he was well aware Moxxie wouldn’t have shown up otherwise. He said it with no shame either. “Because, well, we’re bringing Chaz into the family.”

“What? Since when can just anyone join the family?”

“Come on, Mox. You had responsibilities here that I had to pick up once you left. Now Chaz is going to lighten the load.”

“Wait. I thought you always hated his guts.”

“Well, I don’t know if I exactly hated him…”

“You called him a ‘friendless horse-fucker’ and said we lived a ‘sissy lifestyle’,” Moxxie reasoned, an eyebrow raised.

“Yeah, well, I was wrong,” his father shrugged. “You’ve been gone a long time, Mox. A man can change.” From what you’d gathered about him in this short time you could hardly believe that was the case here, and, from the looks of it, Moxxie didn’t, either. He had the nerve to keep going. “And so has Chaz.”

“Yeah, I’ve grown! Matured! And recently came into millions!” He displayed a smile.

Oh, how convenient that Moxxie’s father had changed his mind about him just when he became rich. Chaz leaned back on his chair. “But, you know, mostly the mature thing.”

“Oooh okay. So the horseless friend-fucker over here gets a little moola and suddenly it’s worth wasting our time over?” Blitzø questioned, annoyed.

“Well, I’m the whole package! If you know what I mean,” he winked. What did he mean? He didn’t seem to have any redeeming qualities, let alone ones that could ever make him ‘the whole package’. He rolled his eyes, explaining himself: “I got a big dick.”

Millie looked over at Crimson. “What does any of this have to do with Moxxie?”

He finished his food in no rush. “There’s gonna be a ceremony tomorrow. Moxxie here is going to officially release his holdings in the organization. Then you can get back to ignoring ya family to ya heart’s content.”

Millie stood up to face him. “Maybe he wouldn’t ignore his family if they didn’t force him to rub elbows with a no good shark-toothed fuckface!” In an instant, she had her knife to Chaz’s throat again.

When did she even retrieve it from you?

“Hey, look, everybody! Relax. I know tensions have been high tonight. Say, why don’t ya stay here and get some rest? We’ll have the ceremony tomorrow, and then you will be free to leave. I have your rooms all prepared!” Free to leave? Was he offering for you to stay or demanding it?

There’s no way you’d be staying here with-

“Yes, sir,” Moxxie agreed without questioning, standing up from his seat, defeated.

“Mox?” Millie asked, a silent question of ‘are you sure?’ lingering along with his name.

Moxxie said nothing in return, only turning around to make his way out of the dining room. It was his father. His house. His choice. So you all stood up to follow him to your rooms.

You’d barely made your way out the door before his father called for him.

“Just give me a minute, Millie. I’ll be there,” he reassured her before re-entering the dining room, leaving all of you to be accompanied by one of the mansion’s employees to the bedrooms.

Millie was visibly worried, and it was nothing but understandable. Moxxie was clearly uneasy and extremely uncomfortable with all of this, and there were moments during the night when he’d looked genuinely scared. You intertwined your arm with hers as you walked the long hallway, a silent gesture that told her you shared her worry and were there for her. She half-smiled at tou in return, acknowledging it.

Suddenly, all of you had to stop on your tracks, as it was impossible to ignore the fact that the ceiling and all the decorations decorations in the hallway were now all covered in… dildos. You tried conjuring anything else that those could be, but that’s what they were, which was fucking weird. What the fuck was the purpose of that?

Blitzø found it the funniest thing ever. “HA! There’s dicks in the walls! Now that’s fucking hilarious!” You laughed with him, rolling your eyes before pushing him to keep walking.

After being showed your designated rooms, you mention waiting for Moxxie with Millie in their room so she wouldn’t spiral being on her own, but the imp guiding you insists you stay in your separate rooms, which, again, is fucking weird. He’s so adamant about it, though, that Millie just tells you to let it go.

“You sure you’re fine?”

“Yeah. Mox will be here in a second.”

“‘Kay. I’m right here if you need me. Right?”

“Right.” She nods before disappearing into her room.

You make a face at the imp waiting for you to get inside your room. “I need to go to the bathroom.” He points to the end of the hallway, and you make your way inside.

By the time you get out, he’s not around anymore. You calmly walk towards your bedroom, taking your time checking out the decorations on the walls (the dildos are gone by now) as you go. Before you get to your door, Millie slams hers open, threatening Chaz out of her room, pulling him off the floor by the collar of his shirt and pointing her knife to his throat for what’s… what? the third time that night, alone?

“Damnit! This usually works!” He complains.

She lets go of him and drops him back to the floor before slamming the door closed on his face. He stands back up, eyes scanning the hallway, when he makes eye contact with you, immediately raising his eyebrows in a stupid suggestive way. “Hey there, hotstuff.”

“Nope,” you say, booking to your room. You slam the door closed, not even giving him any chance to try anything funny.

“I could show you a good time, ya know?” He yells from the other side of the door.

“No thank you! Go bother someone else.”

“Your loss, bitch!”

Well, you forgot there actually was still someone he could go bother. You groaned, shoving a pillow over your head when you started hearing the noises. And the noises were loud. You didn’t want to think about it.

After a while, you finally began drifting off to sleep. When sleep came, though, it lasted barely a few minutes before someone started banging on your door. You get up, angry that your sleep was ruined, and walk up to it, ready to tell Chaz off again. When you open it, though, you’re met with a disheveled Blitzø, wearing nothing but his underwear and chaz’s jacket, instead.

“What are you doing?” You asked him, annoyed.

“I got this,” he held up a shark-shaped keychain with a couple of keys attached to it.

“And what is this?”

“Chaz’s car keys.”

You’re definitely awake now. “Why the fuck do you have that?”

“Come ooon,” he grabs you by the hand and drags you around the mansion all the way out to the parking lot.

“What are we even supposed to be doing here?” You whisper as Blitzø clicks a few times, and the two of you followed the car’s noise, finally finding it.

“Look, nobody who’s that bad in bed can score two hotties that easily. He gotta be hiding something,” he explained as he pried the passenger door open and looked inside.

“Really, that’s your conclusion? Maybe he’s just a prick. A prick who’s bad in bed, that’s not unheard of, is it?”

“You don’t understand.”

“That bad?”

“That bad.”

“Okay.” You don’t know why, but you find yourself pleased to hear Chaz wasn’t a good time. One might call it jealousy, but that would be dumb. It’s just nice to know you fuck him better, that’s all. Whatever.

“Ha-ha! Found it.” He held out a piece of paper in triumph.

“What’s it say?”

He handed the paper over to you, and, clear as day, it read the words: ‘eviction notice’.

“So he isn’t actually rich?”

Blitzø made his way around the car, opening up the trunk and trying to find something there, which he did- yet another piece of paper. You walked up to stand beside him, reading the words at the same time as he did.

Chaz’s Mastur Plan

Rent suit

Convince Crim im rich

Marry Moxxie to get into family

???

Profit $$$

Holy shit. He’s here to marry Moxxie?

You have no time to say anything about it, though, as you feel something poke your neck and, in a second, you’re out.

You don’t know how much time has passed since you fell unconscious, but you know it’s been something around ten minutes since you and Blitzø have regained your conscience (mostly, at least, seen as you still felt pretty groggy and Blitzø wasn’t really speaking too coherently), only to find yourselves to be trapped inside the trunk of Chaz’s car. That fucker.

The two of you barely fit together inside the tiny space, so it was a little hard to try to blindly kick your way out. Thankfully, it didn’t take long until Millie came to your rescue, opening the trunk up to let you out.

“Oh, Millie, you found us!”

“Who’s your friend?” You asked her, finding it funny that the two guys behind her had appeared out of thin air with how quiet they’d been.

“Friend?” Millie asked in return, confused. You then clocked that they were, in fact, not friends.

“Ohh.”

Millie turned around, giving the two imps no time to even think of doing anything before slashing one’s throat with her knife and decapitating the other with the trunk door. She looked fucking cool doing it. “What is going on?” She helped the two of you out, and it took you a couple seconds to be able to catch your balance and stand up straight.

Blitzø immediately started going off about everything you’d found out. “That seductive dickhole is trying to marry Moxxie, and he’s not even rich!” He stumbles over, falling face-first to the ground.

“Is that true or is he tripping?” Millie asked you.

“It’s true.”

“Moxxie!” She called out, running back towards the house as you helped Blitzø get up. Suddenly, all the paths that led out of the parking lot and into the mansion were automatically closed, trapping the three of you there. You couldn’t even imagine what Moxxie was going through right now. “Everything’s locked out! How’re we gonna get in?”

“The keys!”

“What?”

“The keys!” You nudged Blitzø’s arm.

“Oh! Fuck! Right!” He fished Chaz’s car keys from his pocket, dragging you and Millie to the car and getting the engine running as soon as he stepped inside. “Buckle up, girls, we’re doing a Shrek.” That always has been his favorite part of the movie.

He stepped on the gas with all he could, driving the car into the wall, obviously smashing it in the process, but successfully getting through it. If you felt dizzy then, you were both so much worse now. He tried stepping out of the car, holding a finger up to finish his dramatic entrance. “I object!” He fell to the ground again.

Thank Satan Millie could handle herself.

It was so cool to watch her kick almost every single one of those guy’s asses that you even didn’t bother doing much more than the necessary (which you were pretty thankful you could do, given the way everything seemed to be spinning), only handing her random stuff she could kill them off with and occasionally stabbing someone.

After every single one of them had been taken care of, Millie wordlessly picked a horrifying-looking tied up Moxxie up from the altar and carried him along. You know she left Crimson and Chaz live only because of Mox.

Still, Chaz had the nerve to speak up and complain. “Hey! What about my weddi-” Millie shoved one of the dildo things down his throat, effectively shutting him up. Fitting.

“This ass is mine!” She yelled at him.

“By the way, y’all should probably know, Chaz isn’t even rich, okay?” Blitzø yelled out.

Crimson’s eyes widened. “What?”

You grinned. “Yup! You should try checking out his car!”

“Ha! He just played you like a fuckin’ rube!” He flipped Crimson off, and you did the same. You smiled when you realized Millie was flipping him off as well as she walked away, not even bothering to face him as she did.

“Later, losers!” Blitzø announced, and you all hopped into the helicopter again, which Millie somehow, for some reason, could operate, finally on your way back home from this wreck.

You and Blitzø helped Moxxie out of the restraints and pulled the tape over his mouth, which still left him in the bizarre wedding dress, but at least he was safe.

Getting there, you could see Loona was somehow in the exact same position she’d been when you’dall left the day before, sitting with her legs propped on the table and her phone in hand.

Moxxie beamed at his wife. “Millie? Thank you for saving me. You’re amazing.”

“Next time just tell me if your daddy’s a psychopath. I can handle it.”

“Well, and I’m glad everything ended up okay! Good to know we both have daddy issues, Mox.” Blitzø slipped in the middle of the couple, and you were sure whatever came out of his mouth next would be inconvenient at best. “Also! I got to plow your ex boyfriend!” See? “Isn’t that great? Now all three of us have fucked the same guy! Does it feel weird that I fucked your ex, Mox?” He nudged him with his elbow, purposefully annoying him.

“Extremely.”

“I’m glad I’m not a part of that club,” you commented.

“Hey now, don’t pretend we don’t fuck the same guy too. Present tense.”

“Oh, come on, that’s totally different. You’re telling me you wouldn’t feel weird if I had fucked one of your exes?”

He takes a moment to ponder it. “Yeah, actually. That would be weird,” he decides. “But ya haven’t, so… I don’t feel ashamed at all,” he shrugged, sporting an annoying little smirk.

You rolled your eyes at him.

A/N: Chaz was fun to write cause he's so utterly stupid lol. But yeah this is just for fun, we'll have a few of these bonus ones throughout the series! Hope y'all like it <3

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cherubfae · 3 months

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carrying you to bed || hazbin/helluva x reader

With Alastor, Lucifer, Charlie, Angel Dust, Husk, Loona, & Blitzø

tags: gn!reader, established relationship, fluff

Alastor

He lets out a deep sigh, staring down at you with slow blinks. "My love, surely that can't be comfortable for you" He has warned you time and time again not to spread yourself too thin with your tasks. Alastor appreciates how much of a good work ethic you have, but what is it worth if you don't have the strength to walk to your room? He picks you up as gently as he can, melding into shadow as he pops into your room. Carefully laying you down, Alastor will cover you up and with a gentle pat on your head before he takes his leave. Perhaps, next time he'll be tempted to rest beside you.

Lucifer

No wonder you hadn't answered him when he called your name. Here you were, fast asleep on his deep red chaise lounge using your folded arms as pillows. Lucifer picks you up bridal-style half-wishing you were awake so that you could see how strong he is! Another time, he thinks. Your rest is much more important than his ego (for now). "Sleep well, honey." He grins, wiggling beneath the sheets like an inch warm, his eyes sparkling with admiration. Placing a kiss to your head, Lucifer is quick to fall asleep.

Charlie

Honestly, she really does try her best not to squeal at the sight of you. You've been working insanely hard for the hotel-- it's no wonder you're so pooped out! She's careful with wiggling one arm beneath your back and hooking the other beneath your knees. She'll carry you to whichever room is closest: yours or hers. Maybe she'll be able to convince you to move into her suite soon. "Oh my gosh, aren't you just the cutest, honey?? I love you so much!"

Angel Dust

"Awww, sweets! Lookit ya! All tuckered out." He cooed in a hushed whisper, lightly booping your nose. His grin widens when it crinkles upwards. His middle set of arms pick you up, preferring to use his gloved ones to stroke back your hair softly. Leaning his cheek against your forehead, Angel carries you off to his room where an excited Fat Nuggets happily circles the bed in preparation for a lovely nap with his two favorite people.

Husk

Putting away the final glass beneath the bar's counter, his yellow eyes drift to your sleeping form at the end of the bar. You'd insisted on waiting for him to finish but all that work promoting the hotel on foot, searching for any sinners ready to be redeemed was a hard task. Husk fought back a smile. "You really do care about this stuff, dont'cha?" He asks despite knowing you won't answer. "Let's get ya to bed." Husk stretches his wings with a sigh before they fall slack. He lifts you into his arms and makes the trek up the stairs.

Blitzø

He'll bitch and groan about it, but he also won't let anyone else touch you when you're sleeping. Blitz will make some claims about how the person trying to touch you probably has cooties or a viral infection or something. Not happening. He's quick to scoop you up into his arms, eyes narrowed slightly, before scampering off to his room with you. "No, you don't get to fuckin' touch them with your gross unwashed hands, Moxxie-- yeah, that's right I saw you! We are living in post-Covid times, mister! Ack, no, leave 'em! I'll carry them just fine thank you!"

Loona

|| please don't repost, reuse, or edit my works in any way! I do not give permission. Tumblr is the only site where I post. All characters belong to their rightful owner and the story belongs to me © CHERUBFAE 2024 ||

She smirks when she sees you. You look so sweet and cute, curled up into a ball. But that position can't be good on your spine, nor sleeping on Blitz's sad depression sofa. Loona bends down to lift you into her arms, pushing open her bedroom with her elbow and closing it shut with her foot. A nap with you sounded perfect. "You sure do look cute when you're tired, babe." She nuzzles your cheek with her nose.

#hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel imagines #hazbin imagine #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x reader #charlie morningstar x reader #lucifer morningstar x reader #angel dust x reader #husk x reader #blitz x reader #loona x reader #cherubfae 2024

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blitzwhore · 1 month

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How dare it be Monday. It should be illegal to have Mondays after the Helluva Boss trailer. Mondays should be cancelled at least until The Full Moon drops

#I don't wanna go to work and therapy and run errands I wanna rot in bed and imagine Blitz declaring his feeling to Stolas #And Stolas kissing Blitz sloppy style #helluva boss #Stolitz #helluva boss spoilers

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scoutswritingcorner · 29 days

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So like I know anon been doing a lil Chauffeur x Blitz but could you imagine how jelly the Vees would be at seeing Chauffeur with someone? Especially an IMP like Blitz?

Blitz is a triple whammy here, 1) He's an Imp, literally the lowest class in Hell next to Hellhounds while the Vees are overlords. 2) Blitz isn't exactly shy with the PDA, he's down for everything from just handholding while waiting in line for coffee to dragging you/getting dragged by you into a nearby alley to get frisky while the Vees haven't even been able to establish friendly contact let alone romantic or intimate contact. 3) They can't even get rid of him because he's a highly skilled assassin who is the leader of a bunch of other highly skilled assassins, it wouldn't end well for them.

Val probably both loves and hates the view, loves because damn can Chauffeur kiss but hates because he can't join. Vox hates it but secretly gets off on it, he's save the vid and is trying to make a VR dating/kissing Chauffeur experience. Vel is interrogating Chauffeur and stalking Blitz online to find out what Blitz has that they don't.

Oh definitely, they are so upset and jealous.

Because an imp out of them has your heart in his hands?

Vox would definitely try to make some kinda VR deal or some kinda dating sim thing with you. Don't let him fool you, he will play that VR/dating sim for hours.

Valentino is definitely using Vox to spy on you and he definitely sees some scenes he shouldn't be able to see. Like your make out sesh in your home that would make the most evil sinner blush. He definitely uses the same techniques/positions in his next porno and you have a weird feeling about it cause it seems familiar in some way.

Velvette is most definitely stalking Blitz's vox-stagram and asks you blunt questions:

"How long have you both been together?" "Why am Imp? Why not an Overlord?"

Shit like that. You answer honestly and just keep doing your job like normal. You definitely think something weird is going on but you can't really..put your finger on it.

Blitz? Is like being careful cause while he is an skilled assassin, you do work for three of the most dangerous Overlords. But he's smug especially when he has the pleasure of walking/driving you home after work. He's got your favorite take out and everything just to rub it in the Vee's face.

And you? You probably don't suspect a thing and just want to go home to love up on your boyfriend, watch a movie and pass out. They did give you two weeks off. (It's so they could stalk your voxstagram)

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel imagine #gn reader #chauffeur reader #helluva boss imagine #helluva boss x reader #helluva blitzo #blitz x reader #blitzø #helluva boss blitz #blitzo #poly vees #hazbin vees #hazbin hotel vees #the vees

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laz-kay · 1 month

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His lil horse tote! Are you KIDDING me?!😭😭😭

#he’s so horse girl coded #imagine blitz and Tina belcher meeting for the first time #the ultimate horse girls #helluva boss #helluva boss spoilers #helluva boss season 2 #blitz #blitzø

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dewdropdinosaur · 2 months

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The Whole Being Dead Thing

LUCIFER X READER (PLATONIC)

Summary: Lucifer is your father and to say you have been distant the past 7 years would be an understatement. Being the sarcastic owner of a murder business doesn't exactly make the family reunion even more enjoyable.

Warnings: Some cuss words and a gun --> Reader is similar to Blitz from Helluva Boss. Rating: PG-13

Can't remember who requested this but here you go!

In the bustling streets of Pentagram City, where sin and redemption intertwined in a chaotic dance, there lurked a figure shrouded in darkness. Y/N, the eldest daughter of Lucifer Morningstar, once roamed. Born into a lineage of darkness and power, she was destined for greatness—or so it seemed.The disappearance of her mother, Lilith, shattered the fragile bonds that tied Y/N to her family. Amidst the turmoil and whispers of betrayal, she made a choice that would alter her destiny forever. With a heart heavy with unresolved pain, Y/N turned her back on her kin and vanished into the shadows, leaving behind her legacy and her birthright.

Long had it been since Y/N departed from the opulent corridors of her father's domain. With her heart heavy and her resolve unyielding, Y/N ventured into the abyss of uncertainty, carving her path through the crimson-lit alleyways of Pentagram City.

In the shadows, she found her solace, her purpose. She became a legend whispered in hushed tones—a silent specter weaving through the fabric of the city, a master of the art of assassination. With meticulous precision and deadly grace, she built her empire, brick by blood-soaked brick, until her name became synonymous with fear itself. Starting her own business built on assassination both inside Hell and up on Earth, Y/N essentially ruled the criminal underworld of Hell. Her own kingdom, not given to her by birthright, but by hard work and a penchant for blowing shit up.

Years passed, and Lucifer, the fallen angel turned proprietor of the infamous Hazbin Hotel, watched over his kingdom with a heavy heart. The absence of his daughter weighed upon him like an anchor, a constant reminder of the rift that had torn their family asunder. After the disappearance of his eldest, Lucifer then distanced himself from his youngest; believing himself the one to blame for everything leaving. He missed his daughter, though he would never admit it openly. The pain of her absence lingered like a wound that refused to heal, a constant reminder of his failure as a father.

However, as time wore on and Hazbin Hotel grew - Lucifer reintroduced himself into Charlie’s life and they became reconnected and virtually inseparable. Charlie, being the optimistic being that she was, decided that if one family reunion was going so well, another should follow. Drafting out a letter to her older sister in bright pink ink, the note was mailed and received.

After weeks of debate, Y/N finally relented. Maybe seeing Charlie after all would be nice, just the two of them. Putting on her normal outfit: white tank top, black leather jacket, and black jeans along with combat boots; Y/N marched to the hotel. Knocking on the door, Y/N straightened her top. However, what greeted her was not her energetic sister but instead Lucifer, who stood with wide eyes.

Time seemed to stand still as father and daughter locked eyes, a thousand unspoken words hanging heavy in the air between them. For a moment, the world faded away, leaving only the echo of their shared past and the weight of their estrangement.

Charlie, the ever-optimistic princess of Hell, stood beside Lucifer, her gaze shifting between the two with a mixture of curiosity and concern. Sensing the tension thickening in the air, she stepped forward, a beacon of warmth amidst the shadows.

"Y/N," Charlie finally spoke, voice high pitched as she reached to embrace her sister. "It's been too long."

Y/N's expression remained impassive, her mask of stoicism betraying no hint of the emotions that roiled within her. She nodded, acknowledging her words with a silent understanding.

Y/N's gaze was steely, her demeanor guarded as she faced the father she had long forsaken. The awkwardness between them was palpable, a tangible barrier separating them even as they stood mere feet apart.

"Y/N," Lucifer finally spoke, his voice a mix of longing and regret, "it's been... too long."

A flicker of emotion crossed Y/N's face—a fleeting vulnerability that was quickly masked behind a facade of indifference. “Hi, dad.”

Lucifer shifted uncomfortably, sensing the palpable tension hanging in the air. "How have you been?"

Y/N's lips twisted into a bitter smirk. "Oh, you know, same old, same old. Just running a famous murder stick in the depths of Hell. How about you?"

Lucifer winced at the reminder of his daughter's chosen path, a pang of ick gnawing at his insides. "I've been... managing," he replied evasively, unable to meet her gaze.

“So after 7 years that is all you have to say to me? 'How have you been'?”

“Well, I--is that a gun!?"

Sighing and tapping the glock strapped to her thigh, Y/N spoke “Yes, dad. it's a gun. Sheesh, for sin incarnate you really are such a downer. Get it? Downer, cause like you go down on people...oh whatever.

Charlie, you got a bartender in this place right? Cause I am gonna need a shitty drink if y'all are gonna be a tough crowd."

Charlie, sensing the awkwardness and unable to get sex jokes thickening, attempted to lighten the mood. "Well, uh, why don't we sit down and catch up? I'm sure there's plenty to talk about and yeah…we have a bartender.!"

Y/N's laugh was hollow, devoid of mirth, completely avoiding her father in favor for his sister. "Sure, why not? I've always wanted to hear about the latest happenings in the Hotel for lost souls. So tell me sis, how’s life been mhmm?”

The reunion was awkward, fraught with the weight of unresolved grievances and unspoken apologies. Yet, amidst the awkwardness, there lingered a glimmer of hope—a flicker of light amidst the darkness that had shrouded their relationship for so long. Alcohol made Y/N much friendlier anyway.

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colourstreakgryffin · 3 months

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Maybe some headcanons with Blitz having an S/O who's a big volleyball fan? :o Like imagine Blitz, his S/O, Moxxie and Millie having a volleyball match for fun

(I saw in your pinned post that you wrote for Haikyuu and Helluva Boss so I combined the two :3)

Oooh! Yaaayy! Let’s gooo. I love Blitzø so much! He is my favourite from Helluva! Thank you so much!

Blitz- Guns & Volleyballs

Blitz is a very troubled one. Having a lot of problems on the inside whilst establishing himself as a pure prick on the outside but when he finally willingly let you in, he dropped most of his self-defensive behaviours… around you

Blitz actually finds your little passion adorable. You’re a demon, you can do ANYTHING you want but yet, you chose a human sport? How precious

Blitz always falls on his face when it comes to your volleyball games as a result of him playing with you to cheer you up or to bond or to help you. He may dislike this but hearing your joy through those cute laughs makes the embarrassment change to worth

Blitz legit has a volleyball snuck away in his office so when you want to practice with him or practice in general, he’ll get it and toss it to you

Blitz is that type of boyfriend. Trust me, he may seem like the very cold and harsh type who wouldn’t be included in his partner’s hobbies but he is, even if he doesn’t get it

Blitz is already arranging a holiday for I.M.P and not even so they can enjoy a day off work, just so you five can go to the Envy Ring, go to the Beach in order for you and him can kick the M&M’s ass in a Beach Volleyball match

Blitz considers you, his lover and his daughter, Loona on the same level of importance to him, so he tries his darn best to make sure you and Loona get along. He even encourages Loona to try play volleyball with you. You’re her step-parent, you need to be liked by her

Blitz happily listens to you ramble on about all the volleyball facts you love and have memorised whilst you’re both alone and spending time together, and I swear to Satan, this man has never looked more in love in his entire life

Blitz believes himself as a good opposite hitter but he’s actually a real good libero. His childhood gymnastics and circus skills make him really flexible and let him cross long distances quickly so he can do digs effectively. His circus skills is the main reason you and him win volleyball games

Blitz will buy or make you cute little volleyball outfits. Your jersey, your professional volleyball outfit and you know it that he puts his name in a specific but noticeable corner on the inside so everybody knows you’re his

Blitz is naturally protective of you so when you accidentally collide with your teammates and it ends with you briefly concussed or when you’re genuinely accidentally hurt during the game. He is pointing his gun at your teammates to fend them off and carrying you off the court to look after you

Blitz will sneak you out to Earth, with his Asmodean Crystal wristwatch and disguise both of you, so you can play on Earth and try out human Volleyball. He’ll either play, as he honed his skills, or he’ll play your manager and take care of you after the match

Yeah. Blitz goes inbetween your partner teammate and your manager but he somewhat more prefers being the manager so you can shine in your favourite hobby

“Hey, Bae. How did the volley tournament go? Yes, of course, I went to it but I want to hear your view, ‘kay?”

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mintaikcorpse · 5 months

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I was reading fanfiction and looking at fanart again, and while I find grumpy lover Blitzø funny, I don't think he's a grumpy lover. Have you seen the way he treats people he cares about?

My guy is literally ALWAYS doting on Loona. Constantly giving her affection, constantly giving her gifts, stopping whatever he's doing to go and help her, constantly protecting her, need I go on? Shes literally the only one he actually isn't a jackass to. Like, she can be completely awful, and here he is, defending her no matter what.

With Barbie Wire, while he did sabotage her job, he never once went out of his way to be mean to her, just insulting the people she works with and only getting mad at her because she didn't tell him he was out of rehab. And from what we can see, his is very clingy to her, to the point where it was annoying.

He was a dick to Fizzarolli, but that was before they knew what was going on and when they made up, he's affectionately mean to him and is determined FLABBERGASTED at the way Mammon spoke to Fizz. Like, bro had to take off his glasses to hear that shit.

Honestly, he's a dick to Moxxie, but paying closer attention stuff you can also see that he's still incredibly clingy to him and cares about him a lot, even if he finds him annoying (but also wants to sleep with him and Millie, and literally stalking.???? Yeah, ik it's cuz he wants what they have, but hope the show addresses that instead of it just being used as a joke). I think Moxxie is one of the reasons the fandom believes that he'd be a grumpy lover, but I think it's more about their personality clashes. Blitzø is a Chaotic shit-talking jackass who has crazy ideas for shit, while Moxxie is more reasonable, nervous, and down to earth, which Blitzø believes to be annoying.

For Millie, well, we don't see them have one-on-one interactions much (plz give Millie more attention she's literally so wonderful) but from what we can see, he thinks very positively of Milie and their on great terms, with both of them giving each other nicknames and them enabling each others chaotic behavior. The only downsides that I can see their friendship having is the fact that Blitzø literally stocks her and Moxxie and sexually fantasizes about her, despite Moxxie and Millie being married. Also, Millie referring to Loona as "her bosses hellhound" and treating Loona like a dog, but in the show, Blitzø has only seen her do that once and corrected her once, so I don't think he knows much about that.

This has turned into me analyzing Blitzø's close friendships, and sorry for getting off topic, but talking about how Blitzø would be annoyingly affectionate with Stolas again! From all this, I imagine that if Blitzø and Stolas ever did get into a relationship and get past all their bullshit and trauma, Blitzø would literally just be like, "Oh my Satan, haiiiii😍😍😍😍😍😍😊😊😊😊😊😊❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ how's my favorite prince doing 😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚I got you flowers and mice because ily so much❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️. Remeber to take care of yourself and take your meds 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺I love you🥰🥰🥰🥰☺️☺️☺️😘😘😘❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️"

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blitzy-blitzwing · 2 months

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I'm looking at your Blitzwing design again and MY GOD

THOSE HIPS

Blitzwing doesn’t get it, but yeah. 😎

#imagine grabbing them #and then immediately dying because of Blitz’s reflexes #hehe #my doodles #Hazformers

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murderluv23 · 9 months

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I'm of the belief that they didn't make Fizzarolli combat savvy because baby boy would be absolutely FERAL and raise more hell than the actual rings and no one would be able to cope.

#helluva boss #helluva boss spoilers #original fizzarolli helluva boss #fizzarolli helluva boss #you've seen how robo fizz was-#fizzarolli would be fucking terrifying #he's already got a ruthless streak #could you imagine #yikes!!#blitz would have even more reasons to avoid him

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sierpentas · 11 months

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I JUST NOTICED. BLITZO DOESNT HAVE A SONG. HE DOESNT SING. HE JUST DOES A little PART IN MOXXIES BAD TRIP.

moxxie sang more than 3 times already

stolas also

verosika sang twice

2 kings of hell already had songs

EVEN MILLIE HAD A SOLO BEFORE BLITZO

now i cant stop thinkin about a fucking blitzo song bruv that will DESTROY ME

just imagine what it could be . Boy.

*on the other side i think its very fitting that the only time blitz is in a song related context its just him having a meltdown w some led zeppelin in the background lol . but .. idk ...............🥺 gimme more singing brandon rogers

#helluva boss #vivziepop #imagine if the song came in ep. 6 lol #blitz #brandon rogers #imagine if the song was about fizz or his past #IMAGINE IF HIS FIRST SONG WAS ABOUT STOLAS?????????#not likely #im so normal about this #spindlehorse #helluvaboss #blitzø #fizzarolli #barbie wire #moxxie #blitzo #i will shit my pants fr

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itsmarsss · 1 month

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Scandalous (Blitzø x Fem!Succubus!Reader x Stolas) [Helluva Boss] pt. 1 - The Prince

How the mighty do fall.

(Getting into a weird three-way situation with an imp and a succubus isn’t exactly considered classy, Stolas.)

pt. 2 | pt. 3 | pt. 4 | pt. 5 | 1st bonus

Word count: 1,520

Warnings: I mean. depression. arranged marriage. this part doesn’t contain actual sex only mentions of it but others might idk, me taking myself way too seriously writing this, this has no dialogue but don’t give up on me im actually a pretty dialogue heavy person but this only works if this chapter has no dialogue

If you ever asked Stolas, he’d say he was never one to cause a scene.

If you asked anyone else, they’d say he’s lying.

Stolas had always been fond of a little drama and drawn to a bit of flair, akin to exaggeration and grandeur like no other. Be it in the way he speaks, acts or reacts to hell around him, be it how he expresses his emotions or his thoughts and even his feelings towards others.

Emotions, thoughts, feelings. Stolas was always full of those, ever since he was an ugly, pink, featherless little project of a bird. They have been all-consuming ever since he can remember. And he remembers.

Stolas can recall the confusion in his father’s voice whenever he cried as a kid, as if the action was strange and foreign, unfit for a demon like him.

And perhaps it was.

Stolas remembered many things, and yet he could not recall a single time he had seen his father cry- or show any sort of weakness, for the matter. Paimon was always stern and centered, and Stolas is sure the only thing close to weakness he’s ever expressed was his inability to be more than his status- to be an actual father. He doubted his father would consider that a weakness. What was fatherhood next to being royal, anyways, right?

It was disconcerting to grow up certain that, between his father and all of his brothers, he was, without a doubt, the weakest. After all, how could he not be? He was scared, of a many things, most of the time. He felt things too deeply in his heart and he worried too much and too often about too many things. He was aware of all of that.

But, as he grew up, Stolas decided he was fine with it, if he meant he got to genuinely feel things. Because Octavia had come to exist, and he could never in his heart find the willpower to act as cold to her as his own father did to him.

Yes, he decided he was fine with being weak, if that’s what being able to love unconditionally took. He was fine with being weak, if that’s what being loved took.

He may not have loved his father, or even liked him, for the matter. But he promised to himself he’d do anything it took for Octavia to love him.

And how it filled him with pure and utter joy to feel loved for the first time in his life.

He may not have loved Stella, either, but their union had brought him his daughter, and nothing in the entirety of the universe mattered more to him than her. And so he was grateful for their arrangement, after all, despite the bitterness of it all.

With Octavia’s teenage years came the flood, though. Stolas cried himself to sleep almost every single night for years to come as he was reminded of the fact that being grateful for what his marriage brought him was not enough to make him happy to be in the situation in which he found himself, unable to exist as he was inside of his own home without fearing the judgement of a wife who loved him just as much as he loved her - not even a tiny little bit- and unable to shield his daughter from the unhappy family he’d once feared she would have to endure.

Stella was never someone Stolas particularly liked. In fact, he quite disliked her, from the moment he laid eyes on her as his father told him they were betrothed to one another, at much too young of an age.

At first, it surely was purely the hatred for the fact that his fate was tied to her and there was nothing he could do to escape, and the sense of impending doom that came with every year that passed as he knew he grew closer to approaching the day there would be turning back, and watched the time pass as an expectator of his own life, as there was nothing he could really do but comply.

Royal life had its renounces.

When the day came for their marriage to be sealed, the moment finally materializing itself as real instead of bad news he’d try to push away and avoid dwelling into for too long, Stolas promised himself he’d try to get over those feelings and make an effort to know her better. If they would be tied to one another from this moment on, he could at least try to make it all not so miserable.

It was a task set to fail.

When Octavia was conceived, Stolas felt nothing but relief. After all, this entire situation was based purely on business, all-dependent on the birth of an heir. Which meant, in some way, they were a bit more free than before. However much that can be in the situation they found themselves in.

Relief came first, dread came second. At only 19 years old, what did Stolas know of parenting anyway? Logically, he knew this would be happening. Logically, he’d known that for almost a full decade. Logically, that should have been enough for him to be prepared.

But he felt anything but prepared. How was he, who felt lost at all times, who cried at the slightest things, who didn’t ask for all of this, supposed to be a father? What twisted parameters did he have, considering his own?

He only hoped time would ease those feelings.

Throughout the years, he learned those feelings never do leave you, and that parenthood is forever a state of worry. You never truly feel ready- there’s just not much more that you can do than try your best.

To be loved by Octavia was enough. Or… at least it should be, shouldn’t it? Was it selfish, or perhaps even inconsiderate, unfair to her that at times he found himself longing to be loved by someone who’s existence wasn’t bound to him? Wishing to know if someone would ever care not because they were betrothed to him and not because they were his own blood, but simply because they liked who he was? Enjoyed his company? Felt genuine attraction towards him?

When thoughts of the sorts consumed him it was to not punish himself mentally for thinking such frivolous things, for having such superficial wishes. But it wasn’t hard to figure out where it all stemmed from. After all, when the only partner you ever have ever had in your entire life hadn’t any say in choosing you, it’s only natural to wonder what it would be like to be with someone who did choose him.

When you’ve had no say in choosing the only partner you’ve ever had in your life, in turn, it’s only ever natural, too, to wonder what it would be like with someone you would have chosen to be with. Someone who excited you, who made you feel things. Stolas didn’t even know what exactly those things were supposed to be, but longed to feel them nonetheless.

The day Blitzo, someone he hadn’t heard of in decades, was caught trying to sneak into his palace, during the most depressing party ever thrown in all seven reals, Stolas felt excitement for the first time in a long while. It’s almost like his brain had a reaction before he even processed it. Like it was stuck repeating the same thing over and over and over: Friend. Friend. Friend.

Sure, Blitzo wasn’t his friend. They hadn’t been friends for, once again, literal decades. In fact, they had only ever been friends for about a day.

But Blitzo was his first ever friend. And you don’t just forget that. He never would, at least.

And that night they spent together, something in Stolas changed. That night, he felt wanted. For the first time in his life, he felt desired. For the first time in his life, sex wasn’t just business. It wasn’t just an obligation or a means to an end. For the first time in his life, sex was fun.

He knew it was supposed to be fun. He knew it was fun for most people. He had just stopped hoping it would ever be fun for him.

And, sure, he also knew what they did was wrong. But he couldn’t get himself to care as much as he probably should have, because, truth be told, Stella could pretend to have been hurt by it however much she wanted, but they both knew she never really was.

“That was the sound of a fucking divorce!”

A couple hours later, sitting on his bed in shock, he could still barely believe he had really just done what he did- what they should have done so long ago- and Stolas just started laughing to himself. The more he laughed, the harder it was to stop. He knew he just had to look like a maniac like that, but couldn’t possibly get himself to care, because, for only a split second did the thought of not being supposed to let his servants see him in that state pass through his mind, but it only made him laugh harder.

He’d just announced his divorce to the wife he’d been set to marry since birth, can’t be much more scandalous than that.

A/N: would you believe me if i said this started as an idea for what was supposed to be only a funny silly little oneshot with dick jokes and public embarrassment?

Requests for Blitzø and Blitzø x Stolas are open! I’m also SO hyperfixated on this show rn so if y’all wanna chat abt hcs or this series be my guest I’d be happy to talk and i don’t bite unless asked nicely luv y’all <3

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cherubfae · 3 months

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Hi 👋

I'm loving your work so far and had to follow for more!

I was wondering, if you're not busy, if you could do the scenario when the reader tells them i can hold the whole world in my hands and the other looks confused and the reader holds their face in their hands with the hazbin crew + striker and how'd they react to it?

If not, it's totally cool. I look forward to what you put out next! 😊

you're my whole world || hazbin/helluva boss x reader

"I can hold the entire world in my hands. Wanna see?"

tags: gn!reader, afab for vaggie, implied!masc reader for angel, fluff, cuteness, established relationships

Alastor

A crackle of radio feedback as his eye twitches when you reach for him, calms for a second when you cup his face. His clawed hands rest on top of yours. He's rather confused, how is this holding the--

"You're my whole world, Alastor~!" You grin up at him, lovingly.

The facade of a smile he always wears slips for only a second. But it's one second too long and you catch it. His eyebrows relax, lids drooping, cheeks pushing upwards and he beams at you softly. A genuine smile crossing his lips. He cups your face in return, puffing your cheeks like a fish and a muffled laugh track plays. Leaning his forehead against yours, he grins.

Softly, he whispers, "And you are mine, mon cour."

Lucifer

Immediately his eyes well up. He doesn't have the need to act all cool and collected when he's a total softie. He leans his cheek further into your palm, his eyelids fluttering shut allowing for a moment of respite. Tilting your chin upwards, he captures your lips in a gentle kiss.

"I love you more than anything. You are my life, sweetling, my galaxy. I would dismantle Heaven, Earth, and all of Hell to keep you and Charlie safe."

Charlie

The meeting with Heaven hadn't gone to plan and now, she's curled up like a little blanket burrito in her crimson comforter. She doesn't say anything when you announce that you can hold the whole world in your hands, but she's definitely curious in the way she immediately watches you with interest. She's confused when you cup her cheeks but soon gasps loudly in realization, eyes welling up. You always know just what to say when she's feeling blue.

"M-me? I'm your whole world? But you're my whole world, too!" Charlie grunts, breaking free of her blanket cocoon to cup your face in return. "Look! Now I can hold the world too~!"

Vaggie

She expected your reaction to be much worse. Vaggie finally admitted, albeit she was forced to tell, that she had been an angel this entire time. You hadn't been sure how to react and it was clear you were hurt by her secret and she respected that you needed time to process all of this new information. What she hadn't expected was you approaching her a few hours later, gently cupping her face and telling her that she was your entire world.

A valve breaks loose and Vaggie begins to cry. She wanted to tell you for so long! She really, really did, but she didn't know how! You hold her close, slipping down onto the floor with her letting her cry on your shoulder.

"I didn't want to keep this part of me a secret, but there was so much risk in people knowing-- if they would directly come for you, I just... I couldn't risk your safety if you knew what I truly was. I love you so much, I just wanted to keep us safe."

Husk

The glass he had been wiping down would've shattered on the ground had his tail not caught it. His wings instinctively fluff up, setting the cup on a rack with the rest of the clean, empty glasses.

"Didja have to get up there to tell me this?" He clears his throat deeply, gesturing wildly to ask what you were doing. You, currently perched on top of the bar counter on your knees cupping his face.

"Yeah!" You chirp with a grin. Husk sighs, grabbing you by the waist and hefting you down and off the countertop. He doesn't say a word when your legs wrap around his waist and your arms slide around his shoulders. His cold nose presses to your cheek and he chuckles softly, utterly happy and in love.

"You're a dork, huh, hun? But you're my dork." Husk purrs softly, pulling you in for a brief kiss.

Angel Dust

Owlishly, he stares at you. That confusion melts into a genuine smile and a soft chuckle. His third set of arms materializes, tugging you in by your hips while the other two wrap around your shoulders and waist respectively. Pressing his soft cheek to yours, he affectionately nuzzles you with a laugh.

"You're full of surprises, ain't ya, toots? Y-you're my everything, baby. My world. The one light in this whole damned darkness I call my life."

Vox

He was expecting something much different from you when you climbed into his lap, turning his attention away from his displayed monitors. Red eyes flickering, he's confused when you grasp both sides of his monitor screen. This is new...?? Vox's gaze widens as you finish your statement, chuckling deeply. Covering your hands in his, he places your hand to his chest where his dead heart would still be beating. You make him feel alive, no heartbeat and all.

"Fuck, baby, that's pretty cheesy. But I liked it." Vox grins, red dripping from the corners of his mouth. "C'mere, sweets. Wanna kiss ya."

Blitzø

Why do you have to say some of the cutest shit? Ugh, it makes his heart feel all weird and he's not sure how to react, but he does appreciate it nonetheless, especially with the two of you being alone. You know he's been working on his emotions, trying to do better. When he can't find the words to say, he nuzzles your palm softly and gives you a wobbly smile before harshly rubbing at his eyes.

"Th-thank you, ah, fuck.. Why am I crying? Must be a damn ninja chopping some fuckin' onions somewhere." He sniffles, deeply sighing. He grasps your hand in his, squeezing it softly. "I'm not sure if the world is a large enough example.. To, y'know, express my love or whatever.."

Loona

She's pretty taken aback by your statement, a soft blush staining her cheeks. Her tail gives a little wag and she smiles. Bending down to your height, she gives you a quick kiss on the cheek, her hand slipping into yours.

"You're such a sap, babe, but I love you too. You're my world as well. C'mon, let's see what kind of chaos Beel is having at her party tonight. Not every day I can show off how amazing my partner is."

Striker

Saying that he's surprised is an understatement. He recovers quickly, a smirk curling up his lips and he chuckles softly. He kisses each of your palms, gently removing them from his face. He tugs you in close, tail swaying behind him. Tilting your chin up, his claw running along your lower lip. He leans in close, lips only inches away. His voice noticeably deepens.

"You're sweeter than pie, ain't ya, sugar? Got my heart and stomach all twisted in knots like somethin' awful. I'm not the best with words but I'd be happy to show ya just how much your tender sentiment is mutual. If you'll have me."

|| I DON'T GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY WORKS TO BE REPOSTED, RESHARED, OR EDITED. TUMBLR IS MY ONLY ACCOUNT AND THE ONLY PLACE WHERE I POST MY WRITING. ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS, THE STORY BELONGS TO ME. || CHERUBFAE © 2024

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel imagines #hazbin imagines #hazbin hotel x you #alastor x reader #hazbin lucifer x reader #lucifer morningstar x reader #charlie morningstar x reader #vaggie x reader #angel dust x reader #husk x reader #vox x reader #blitz x reader #loona x reader #striker x reader #cherubfae 2024 #helluva boss imagines #helluva boss x you #helluva boss x reader

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