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#but i can't kill myself yet
lirulua · 11 days
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I hate money <3
So we're just in a perpetually tight spot, apparently and my mental health is shit and this is making this worse. And no we cannot get financial help from the government because my dads boss is a cunt and puts his tips as part of his pay check rather than tips so we make "too much" for assistance.
Anyway, we need help covering rent, getting food, my dad needs new glasses cause his broke and we need gas in the car. And I need some shorts for summer since I need to start walking for the sake of my health but we genuinely cannot stand the heat, it makes our depression worse we can't move, hell our bladder doesn't even work right when we get too hot. (We cannot afford to thrift right now either, but that is what we will be doing if this post actually works)
I'm trying to get some booths for craft fairs but they're either $300-$1,000 (I'm not exaggerating) or expect you to sign your soul over to them and almost all require you to have insurance which I also can't afford.
Our Ko-Fi is open for commissions. Currently, we have
Mushroom Boys - $20
Mushroom pops - $12
Mini Octopi - $5
Gummy Bear Plush - $10
Giant Heart Pillow - $200
Mystery Boxes - $25 $50 $100 $200 $500
Please if you can help, just please. If not Please spread it around. More stuff will be added once a week, next up are mini whales.
I don't know what to do man. This shit isn't worth it but my girlfriend is moving in in july which is the only thing keeping me going at this point.
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maulfucker · 7 months
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So fucked up that obimaul is a rarepair. What do you mean not everyone is obsessed with enemies to lovers with a Force connection, where one side is completely obsessed with the other who barely acknowledges him (but is just as affected)
#hm i should make an original post tag#obimaul#like. say what you want but obi-wan saw a random dathomirian zabrak and immediately went 'maul?? alive??'#he DOES care about maul he just doesn't actively seek him out like maul does#post prompted by this song that makes me think about Maul in his crime lord era‚ all the luxury of the world within his reach‚#but none of it satisfies him because what he really wants is to find (and kill) kenobi#'another night up in the best suite; everything's gone wrong already‚ my body admits; dreaming so high the floor is the limit;#once again i got lost.. [...] another night i give myself‚ top of a skyscraper; i'm the king of the world‚ dreams for rent;#and when i look at myself i sigh with a low voice‚ 'i don't feel bad i just feel nothing''#(<- song is são paulo‚ 2015 by jão)#it's a song about feeling dissatisfied with the life of fame because there's an emptiness he can't fill with sex drugs or luxuries#and from the context of the album it's likely he's thinking about a past lover he's still not over#so. imagine with me.#i might make something out of this. maybe.#but like. posting about songs that make me think obimaul thoughts. not very productive. almost no audience.#... and while making this post i've been attacked by yet another song with a very obimaul words#'lie to me‚ run from me‚ we swear it doesn't count‚ in this way of ours‚ but it's not because i hate you that i can't kiss you anymore'#<- pilantra by jão and anitta
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reanimatedgh0ul · 19 days
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this is so sam and danny actually
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cuubism · 1 year
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No questions. I'm just attempting to kill a man or two by pulling this out of my sleeve >:)
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hoooooolllly fucking shit, mayhem you absolute madlad
i don't even know what to say about this. i'm stunned into silence. i'm shook. i'm just staring at it. this is so much to cope with on a tuesday afternoon
@magnusbae come get yeeted off a cliff
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thekittendraws · 1 year
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There is way too little Sampard fanart on this site
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countess-of-edessa · 1 month
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the world is so fucked up and i can't help but think the damage is irreparable when i see people talking about how unusual and prudish it is to wait six to ten dates before having sex with someone. ten dates??? roughly like twenty five hours of interaction????? ten old timer burgers and mango iced teas from chilis equals sex?????? the possibility of pregnancy, STDs, emotional devastation, lifelong consequences, not to mention just straight up the possibility of getting murdered, with a STRANGER you have hung out with for maybe like two months???? and that's a LONG TIME???? and if you feel weird about that and don't want to do that that makes you NOT HETEROSEXUAL????? THATS AN ORIENTATION???? BECAUSE ITS SO OUTSIDE OF THE NORM OF HUMAN BEHAVIOR ????? i hate all of you i hate you i hate you i hate you every day i hate and I hate and I hate you
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forcedhesitation · 2 months
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...just heard about the upcoming perk changes...hmm...yeah. the only good one definitely is the adrenaline nerf. I've wanted them to take away healing off hook forever.
the other perk changes are ass.
ultimate weapon is still outrageously unfair, even if you take away the screaming! to me, it feels like they just saw the uptick in people using calm spirit following the addition of ultimate weapon, and decided "hm, the way to deal with this is to remove the screaming." no! this perks needs to be reworked differently! given a longer cooldown, something! it does way too much for just one perk!
DS buff isn't going to stop tunnelling. strong killers don't care if you stun them, and weaker survivors likely won't even have DS because it's licensed...waste of a buff. just as they should do with off the record, they need to spread out these important anti-tunnel strategies to general perks. it's so unfair that something this important be gated behind a DLC. and no one perk should ever be too strong!
also, I saw otz's commentary on the changes. I could not agree more that certain killers should be nerfed directly, rather than trying to just balance perks generally. not all killers interact with different perks the same... nurse, wesker, huntress, blight, etc do not care about a stun, even if it's increased in length. you need to change them & how their powers work in relation to stuns, so survivors have a chance to get away from them, rather than buffing the perk so that old man ghostface has an even worse time in this dogshit meta lmao.
#dbd#thoughts about media#I haven't been on twitter in a while. I'm sure survivor mains are crying real hard about the adren nerf.#as if it was fair that the perk would heal you off hook like that. again: one perk should never do THAT much.#like. steve has a perk that heals you off hook. but it does ONLY that and you have to heal another survivor FIRST.#that feels fair! it does one thing and there's a trade-off! and the heal isn't immediate.#it's 16 seconds and then you heal. and you have base kit BT for 10 seconds to get away from the killer.#tbh- a slight buff to second wind would have been better than a DS buff. like. idk. reduce it to 12 seconds to heal off hook?#but second wind is a licensed perk again. so they should rather focus on making some general perk that does something like this instead.#there are sooo many survivor perks that are total dogshit and do nothing. including MANY general perks. REWORK THOSE!!!#I can't imagine this DS buff going to be a problem for hux because he's kind of a way more fair version of nurse.#he's very mobile. he just requires a lot more patience and skill to play.#I haven't seen anything about his planned changes yet. I'm hoping so badly that it will be a slight buff.#and by that I mean PLEASE MAKE SOMA FAMILY PHOTO BASE KIT!!!!!!#or even partially base kit!!! he should NOT be so dependent on one add on.#making it fully base kit wouldn't even be a problem because that would not impact kill rates at all.#this total hottie is only played by myself and a total of 5 other people worldwide.#making soma family photo isn't going to change that LOL.#like...some people might TRY him if he gets buffed. but I assure you- it would take a miracle to make more hux mains.
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"i mess up things and then i don't have the energy to fix them up" yes brain true sentence but no brain the appropriate response is NOT "therefore i should kill myself (and here's how)"
#tw suicide#i wish i was joking#i am just so so tired of keeping myself alive! can't someone else do it for a change? or better yet kill me??#said something to the emergency room psych#she queried it and i confirmed i had said precisely what i intended#she blinked and said 'i usually hear that from jaded forty year olds not twenty year olds'#i won't share what because it was a highly specific explanation of precisely how i might see myself suiciding or how/whether i thought i#could. she asked me and i answered. apparently she wasn't expecting that level of detail and confidence#is it funny to anyone else that i always struggle with confidence but i can confidently tell her specifics about suicide thoughts?#this is reminding me of the fifteen year old yesterday i was conversing with and he randomly started listing all the suicide methods he#could think of and i was internally like you missed a dozen i can think of. didn't say that obvs#i don't know i am. tired. of everything. and i had a long and good conversation with an older woman from church last night (mother of the#boy. i have confided in her before she's great)#she's hte only person irl who now knows about the second suicide attempt (tho she doesn't know it was the second) and she was encouraging m#to see the psych and escalate care#but all day ive been regretting telling the psych or bro or anyone honestly#it would be so much EASIER to have said nothing and gone through with my plan#i wouldn't trust myself not to rn if i had access#i mean. i know multiple ways in this room i could kill myself. but i won't#there's a couple of specific methods that are most of the thoughts usually so they're the specific ones i gotta watch out for more if that#makes sense#ooh gosh im rambling i should shut up xD#personal#puddleglum hours
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Me, when Sebastian joins my party for the first time: Okay, this time I'm not going to forget about you, Sebastian. I'm going to make an effort to use you a lot this playthrough so I can better understand you.
Also me, immediately forgetting about Sebastian while finishing Act 2 and making it halfway through Act 3 before I finally notice his Faith quest: ......................Oh. Right. My bad.
#da2#dragon age 2#sebastian vael#listen in my defense..........i don't like bringing sebastian anywhere sksksks#okay look i seriously tried but every time i bring him somewhere i always think man i wish i had brought someone else#and also i do just forget about him! i finally added him to my party at one point and he had 24 points to spend...#that's how long i neglected him after i promised myself i was gonna use him more and then i didn't#it's not that i don't like sebastian as a character though i do tend to side eye him A LOT... it's just that i like everyone else more#even aveline like i'd take aveline over sebastian any day and that's saying something... or is it? i have a lot of feelings about aveline#whereas my feelings about sebastian could maybe fill a thimble...it doesn't help that in my canon run as a mage hawke#i romance anders and well... sebastian wants me to kill anders and my hawke is like 'do i approve of blowing up the chantry? complicated.'#'am i breaking up with anders for this? absolutely. do i still love him? mmhmmm. am i going to kill him sebby? i'd sooner set varric aflame#then sebastian threatens to bring an army to kirkwall and leaves so i can't say i have the greatest opinion on him#even the time where i did kill anders and he stayed in my party he was just... there#and then he glitched out and started t posing while asking if ed ever found out what anders wanted to do in the chantry so..... yeah#but even this playthrough where i'm playing as a lady warrior with a different personality and everything... i'd just rather use anyone els#also keep him away from bethany i do not approve sksksks she's too good for him#i want to understand and see the different angles of him like with the other companions but i've yet to convince myself to do it#also sebastian romancers out there can you like... explain? genuinely can you explain the appeal? i'm curious#because of all the love interests in da2 i look at sebastian and you'd think i'd maybe be more interested? but it's like...#i know about the chaste marriage and everything like that's fine i don't need sex to be a thing in the relationship but it feels less like#an asexual romance and more like... y'know... being with a priest and i guess that's just not one of my kinks? sksksks#i guess there's also the prince angle but i romanced alistair in dao and kept him a grey warden i don't really care about royalty power#and i don't have issues with him being a part of the chantry [well i do but yknow what i mean] since i romanced cullen in dai#and his whole deal with the chantry and magic and shit makes his romance interesting to me but sebastian is just.... a bit too much i think#i don't know i'd like to understand because i really don't but i also keep forgetting about him
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saintfaulkners · 20 days
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linterteatime · 1 year
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Thats it, next person to call Grimm st0las in my drawings get publicly executed and then thrown to the dungeon to be food for the skeletons
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shima-draws · 9 months
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Currently in my banging my head against the wall phase. Hope you all are well 🥰
#Doc told me to schedule another MRI on Tuesday. They said they sent the order over on Tuesday.#I call on Tuesday to schedule the appointment. They don't have the referral yet#I called yesterday to try and schedule. They STILL don't have the referral#I message my doc and make sure they actually sent it over to the right place. (They did.)#They say they'll fax it over again! Great!#I call AGAIN today. They STILL don't have the referral#Bro I just need to schedule this fucking MRI so I can find out what's WRONG with me#The girl on the phone was like 'Oh yeah we're real busy we get orders all the time it must not have hit the system yet'#BRO IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS. HOW HAS NOBODY SEEN IT. TEARING my hair out#I went to their website to try and schedule online. Guess what? THEIR GODDAMN SCHEDULING ASSISTANT IS DOWN FOR MAITENANCE#SCREAMS#Anyway yes so in my banging my head against the wall phase. I'm so tired#And still in pain! To nobody's surprise!!#They can't fix what's wrong with me if I can't even get in to get an MRI. Hello. PLEASE#This isn't really smth that can wait a couple weeks#I should've been in to see them like YESTERDAY.#My pain is so bad I had to stay at home today. And I go and ice my back every hour or so#Bc I can't sit down for more than 45 minutes without wanting to kill myself ;))))#Shima speaks#I'M SORRY I'm just so. I've been over this for months. And now that I'm THIS close to getting answers#I can't. Seem to get these people to schedule an appointment for me#Grinds my teeth
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savageboar · 2 months
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i have to keep telling myself it'll get better. my life will get better. i just have to live long enough to see it.
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look at my fanfic boy
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nonokoko-draws · 4 months
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Grim: *Exists*
Me:
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batri-jopa · 5 months
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Why are all the shapeshifters so fucking cool?
Nimona
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T1000
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Genie
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Could it be that being a shapeshifter usually have those aro / ace / nonbinary vibes
of never fitting to only one definition? as if not touching the Earth? and pining to belong somewhere?
but also
of no rule applying directly to you? as if you were free from being judged? and thus free to be whoever you choose?
But this kind of freedom is both a blessing and a curse. Because being one of a kind means you're all alone in the whole world.
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