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#but i think david is definitely telling us who he is
papabearbobbynash · 17 hours
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Hi,
Do you think there should be more love shown to Bobby when he was in a coma? I mean when Buck was in a coma even May, Athena, and Chris was there. Everyone came to see Buck. But when Bobby was in a coma no one wait beside him only Athena? It would be great if May continue telling Bobby she loves him like when she told Bobby when Buck was in a coma. Maybe that would be the push for Bobby to wake up. His (step) daughter asking him to come back home to their family. What if there was an interaction between Buck and May beside his bed and them discussing that Bobby is basically their dad. Even Harry, remember when Michael was asking the family about proposing to David, Harry said that he now had 3 dads so Harry sees Bobby as his father too. Have the kids interact with each other would be great. Since Bobby's main guilt is about losing his kids. It would shown that in this life he has kids too though not his biologicaly. Maddie and Karen were not in the hospital. It seems like nobody cares about Bobby even though Bobby has always been the anchor to them. It's sad actually. Instead of the date with Tommy, Tommy could've supported Buck by showing up in the hospital.
Hi
there were many questionable decisions on this episode regarding Bobby and I definitely think the biggest problem was the lack of emotion of a dramatic situation they build up for three weeks.
They promoted the hell out of Bobby being in danger in this finale and when it reached the moment for them to gut wreck us, they cut most part of it (Athena in his bedside almost crying, Eddie praying on his bedside while Buck looks almost catatonic). Not to count the complete wtf decisions regarding it other decisions, such as May and Harry not being there for the painful part? When the actors are in the episode and we know it's hard for Corinne to be on the episodes due schedule with her college? Not a single solo scene with any of the 118 who lost their shit before for way lighter injuries Bobby had? Buck "almost lost my dad" thought turning into a sexual joke? Really??
The fact Athena was out hunting whoever done it, I get it, because i expected it end on that. People who expected Athena to do different don't know her character well tbh. The moment she heard from the doctors that Bobby's heart stopped for 14 minutes, she already lost hope, she thought he wasn't waking up from that, and she had lost him. With that? She wouldn't sit there and watch him die for nothing, because in her mind this wouldn't do anything good for Bobby. She already went through that with Emmet and she definitly wouldn't wait 30 years to catch the culprit. This time she had to do something even though it's completely a bad call from her part, because its mostly a coping mechanism to shield her from the pain she is feeling while trying to compensate for the guilt (into believing Amir was the culprit when she invited him in their house + her last words for her husband being on a argument) and to mask her pain. So this part i get it, even if her ways of doing it are definitely not the best to watch. From Athena's part i think we got enough emotion, even if misdirected, however it could have been better. (Forever mourning the promo scene not making to the final cut)
Overall I don't think they made Bobby unimportant (Considering the "goodbye montage" makes it clear he is that much important even if himself doesn't see it). The problem of the whole hospital moments is they writing ooc scenes that don't feel genuinely the character we've watched so far (except for Athena, personally she was totally in character) in the middle of a rushed episode that did not need to be rushed.
Heck they could have left Bobby's life hanging till the premiere. They had the perfect chance of a wrecking cliffhanger if that is what they wanted. They didn't need to worry about being cancelled with such an unfinished story line.
It would stress the hell out of me, but would have killed as a starting anchor to the next season, because it's literally an emotional disaster for the team. It would also allow certain breath in the finale for Athena's character, May and Harry presence could be more meaningful and not only after the turmoil and we could have scenes with the team and Bobby as well.
Instead we got that.. Anyway, it had some bathena moments, but this was underwhelming after all that build up. And i definitely think this episode should have been more emotional. Like allow the audience to feel the pain of the situation before rush to solve it?
Thank you for the ask, and sorry for the venting.
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fanficshiddles · 12 hours
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Eternally Mine, Chapter 9
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‘So… You just had an epiphany one day where you decided that not all vampires are bad?’ David asked Toshi as the group all stood around by the bar with drinks, they were all keen to speak to Toshi more.
‘Pretty much, yep. Like there are bad humans, there are bad vampires. Though there’s good ones, too.’ Toshi nodded.
‘Is that how you met Severus? Did you save him or something?’ Matt asked.
Severus glared at him. ‘I don’t need saving.’ He scoffed.
‘I was looking out for him. Then he decided to stalk me home and realised we were soulmates.’ Toshi grinned and looked at Severus, who gave a sly smirk as he squeezed her waist.
‘Well, we are grateful to you for looking out for us and helping with the attack on the school.’ Jessica smiled.
‘I was managing fine before she turned up.’ Chris sneered.
‘Yeah, course you were.’ Jessica rolled her eyes.
‘Oh yeah, getting your ass beat by the hunters. You really had it all under control.’ Toshi smirked.
‘You’ve come to me for help with bad humans lately, so don’t start.’ He huffed at her and downed his drink.
‘I could easily deal with them myself, but figured you’d have fun with them.’ Toshi shrugged.
Chris was glad when the conversation soon turned. He zoned out a bit and just focused on Louise, who was right by his side, hugging his arm and smiling up at him. She enjoyed the way he bickered a bit with everyone.
The group conversed with Toshi for a while, before dispersing and most of them having a dance around. Plenty of drinks continued to flow during the evening too, of course.
Toshi enjoyed observing everyone in the group. She noticed that Louise clung to Chris most of the time, more so when they were speaking with others. She was quiet but definitely seemed to be enjoying herself.
Loki and Claire were just as she had figured from the moments she had seen them. They were so obviously soulmates, all over one another yet playfully bickering too. So comfortable together.
She could tell that Spencer was still adjusting to being a vampire, but Jessica was good for him. She seemed able to tell whenever he was getting a little overwhelmed with his heightened senses, so would ask him to dance to distract him or they’d go outside for a little fresh air.
Hannibal was one vampire she did have on her radar, aside from Chris he was a questionable one too when it came to hunting. Though he didn’t act quite as reckless or harsh as Chris could, he didn’t care overly much for humans in regards to not hurting them when hunting. He also didn’t spend a lot of time with the group, opting to mainly be with Will on their own. Just very occasionally they would come and converse.
‘You’re taking everyone in, aren’t you?’ Severus asked her quietly with a knowing smile.
‘It’s interesting to observe your friends up close.’ She grinned at him and sipped her drink.
‘Friends is a strong word, love. Colleagues… acquaintances, at a push.’ He drawled.
‘David and Matt are… not quite what I thought. Are you sure they aren’t a thing?’ Toshi asked as she watched them at the other side of the hall, they were dancing around together with a few of the students, being goofy.
‘Pretty positive.’ Severus nodded.
‘I have my suspicions.’ Chris said as he and Louise made their way back over to them.
‘You wouldn’t be surprised if they came out together?’ Toshi asked curiously.
‘Nope. Though in saying that, Matt seemed quite happy when he realised that my brother and Claire were trying to match-make him with my Louise here.’ Chris said slightly clipped, not realising he’d just called her his in a rather protective tone, until it was too late. Though he was glad she didn’t seem to mind at all.
‘Wait, what? They tried that?’ Louise asked, surprised, while her stomach did a little flip at being called his.
‘Yeah, at Loki’s birthday party. Till I arrived, then knocked their plan all to pot.’ He smirked and slid his arm around her waist, noticing her blushing.
‘Makes sense now that I think about it.’ Louise laughed. She looked over at Matt and sighed. ‘Pity…’
Chris’ eyes widened, though Louise slowly turned her head to look up at him with a little mischievous glint in her eyes and a smirk.
‘Cheeky.’ Chris laughed and squeezed her side, making her giggle.
She was a little more comfortable and confident now that she had some more alcohol in her.
‘I love your dress, Louise. It looks really good on you.’ Toshi commented with a soft smile.
‘Ah, thank you.’ Louise went a little flustered as she glanced down at her dress. ‘I just got it from New Look.’ She laughed shyly.
‘I don’t think there would be a dress on this earth that wouldn’t look good on you.’ Chris said cheesily, making her even more flustered as her cheeks grew bright red. She was not used to getting compliments so much.
‘How are you taking to the world of vampires?’ Severus asked, taking the heat off a bit for her.
‘It’s amazing. Claire and I were rather obsessed with vampires when we were younger, always talked about if they were real. Never thought it would be possible, of course. Though here you all are.’ She grinned.
‘I’m just so glad we’ve gone into this relationship with you knowing everything. I know that Loki was really worried originally, about telling Claire.’ Chris said and Louise nodded in agreement.
‘How long have you two been together?’ Louise asked Toshi and Severus.
‘Twenty-seven months and four days.’ Both Severus and Toshi said at the same time. They both glanced at one another with a little chuckle.
‘Not that we are keeping track.’ Toshi said innocently.
‘Come on guys, don’t make me puke.’ Chris teased.
‘Aww!’ Was all Louise said, she thought it was adorable how they both knew the exact amount of time.
Jessica came bounding over towards them, she’d had a lot of shots already.
‘Can I steal your girl for a dance?’ She asked and fluttered her lashes at Chris.
‘Hmm.’ Chris raised an eyebrow and looked at Louise.
‘Pleaseee.’ Louise pleaded with a giggle.
‘As long as you bring her back soon… My arm feels lost without her.’ He pouted.
‘I will. Geez, you can be away from her for two minutes.’ Jessica laughed as she offered her hand to Louise, who took it happily and went over to dance for a while with her.
Toshi and Severus turned around to watch, so Toshi was stood by Chris.
‘Who’d have thought that the terrifying, great, original vampire could be so soft and like a puppy for a human.’ Toshi smirked as she sipped her drink, her eyes locked on Louise dancing with Jessica.
‘Watch it, you.’ Chris growled in response. ‘I kept the secret for you and Severus, the least you could do is be nice to me for one night.’
Toshi turned her head to look at him and put on an over-the-top smile for him. ‘That’s true. Please accept my most sincerest apology.’ She said as she put her hand over her heart.
Chris just shot a glare at her. ‘Severus, keep your hunter under control, will you?’
Severus only chuckled in response.
‘It’s so weird seeing Severus smiling and actually being social.’ Jessica laughed.
‘Is he not normally like this?’ Louise asked curiously.
‘God no. He never joins in with anything we do. I’m glad we’ve finally gotten to meet Toshi, now we know who she is!’
‘She seems really nice.’ Louise smiled and Jessica nodded in agreement.
Jessica wasn’t the only one that found it weird seeing Severus enjoying himself. Even the students were surprised seeing him laughing and smiling, especially when he had a dance with Toshi. They saw a different side to the usually moody and serious teacher during the evening.
When Louise and Jessica went back over to Chris, Toshi and Severus, Louise went straight back to Chris’ side as he put his arm out to her. She tucked nicely into his side, under his arm, they fit together so well.
‘Has anyone seen where Claire is?’ Jessica asked as she looked around.
‘Nope, not seen her in a while actually… Come to think of it, Loki’s not about either?’ Louise said as she looked across the room.
-
‘What if we get caught?’ Claire giggled as Loki ushered her into Chris’ office and shut the door behind them.
‘We won’t, they’re all in the hall. They won’t come all the way back here.’ Loki smirked and backed her against the wall.
‘Just can’t keep your hands off me, hmm?’ Claire grinned as she wrapped her arms around his neck.
‘You know I can’t.’ Loki growled low and cupped the back of her head as he dipped down to kiss her deeply.
His hands began wandering while their tongues slowly moved together, he slid a hand underneath her dress and trailed his fingers lightly up her inner thigh, when he reached her knickers and firmly ran his fingers along her, he made her whimper into his mouth.
Loki teased her for a moment with his fingers, momentarily sneaking down inside her knickers so he could lightly rub over her clit a few times, she was already aroused for him and her scent was driving him wild.
‘Such a naughty vampire slut.’ He growled with a smirk against her lips, he removed his hand from up her dress so he could undo his trousers and take out his cock, he was already semi-hard, it just took a few strokes to get him ready.
He lifted Claire up and pinned her against the wall, she wrapped her legs around him for extra security. Loki reached down between them, though kept her held up with one hand on her ass, he pulled her knickers to the side and lined his cock up with her heat.
As soon as he thrust into her, they both let out the most unholy noises. Claire buried her face against his neck as he bottomed out inside her, then just stayed still for what felt the longest time. He finally began to move after she started squirming too much, making him unable to hold back for any longer.
‘Fuuuuck. Loki!’ Claire squealed.
‘Shhh, love. Don’t want anyone to hear.’ Loki chuckled wickedly into her ear as he started to really move his hips against her.
‘Don’t be so fucking good then.’ She whimpered and nibbled on his neck as she clung to him tightly.
‘It’s me that’s supposed to be doing the biting, darling. Don’t forget you’re my little blood bank.’ He slid his hand into her hair and tugged her head backwards, so he could get access to her neck. He let his fangs come out to play and trailed them along her skin, he could feel her clenching around him in response.
Regrettably, he wasn’t going to bite her, he wasn’t going to let himself get carried away in this sort of setting. She would be too weak to enjoy the party, plus there were too many vampires nearby that might smell her blood.
‘Loki.’ Claire cried out as she clenched around him, she was so far gone. Loki could sense her heartbeat quickening more and more the closer she got.
Claire knew Loki was close too, she could tell by the way he lost his rhythm. She always tried to last longer, but he knew just exactly what to do to get her to cum before he did. When he let out a feral growl and nipped her shoulder, she was a goner.
When Loki felt her cum on his cock so wonderfully, he followed closely behind with a loud moan. He only just managed to keep his composure so she wouldn’t fall, his breathing was deep and he had built up a bit of a sweat.
Claire trembled against him when she felt his cum dribbling down her inner thighs. When Loki slowly pulled out of her, even more came out of her. Loki slipped her knickers back into place to catch most of it, as he chuckled.
‘Well… That was a bit messy.’ He carefully got her down to her feet, making sure she was steady enough before sorting himself out.
-
Chris, Louise, Toshi, Severus, Jessica, Spencer and David were chatting by the bar.
They looked up when Loki and Claire appeared and headed over towards them.  
Chris scrunched his nose up. ‘Ew, guys. You two reek of sex.’
Louise had just taken a drink, she almost choked on it and ungracefully spat some back into her glass.
Claire and Loki looked a little sheepish.
Jessica moved closer to Claire and slyly slipped her a mini body spray from her bag. Claire took it without looking at her and whispered thanks.
‘Nothing wrong with having a quickie in the head’s office after school hours.’ Loki said casually with a shrug.
It was Chris’ turn to choke and spit his drink out this time as his eyes widened in horror. ‘You didn’t?’
‘Oh, we did.’ Loki grinned widely at the look on his face.
While Claire rushed to the bathroom to get cleaned up a bit, Chris and Louise went for another dance together.
A song that came on was a nice slow one, Louise had her hands on Chris’ shoulders while he was holding her waist as they danced around slowly.
Chris noticed that Louise had a permanent blush on her cheeks while they danced so close. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her, he found her the most beautiful being in the world. He adored the way she looked at him, too.
‘I’m really glad you came with me tonight.’ Chris said.
‘I’m really glad you invited me.’ Louise beamed.
Chris reached up and stroked her cheek with the back of his hand, making her melt. He brushed his thumb down and along her lower lip. He glanced from her eyes down to her lips and then back to her eyes again, silently asking for permission as he leaned down a little, slowly showing his intention.
To his delight, her hands moved from his shoulders to round his neck as she went up on her tiptoes towards him. Chris had to bend further down for her, their lips gently brushed against one another’s and sparks flew between them.
Chris pressed his lips more firmly against hers, she responded by shuffling in a little closer to his body. His senses went into overdrive, he wanted her so badly, in both ways a vampire could have his soulmate… but he knew he needed to be careful, he didn’t want to hurt or rush her. So he behaved and managed to keep himself under control.
The soft kiss lasted a while, when they did eventually break it, they both looked a bit flustered. Louise shyly looked down and laughed. Chris gently tipped her head up with a finger under her chin, he smiled warmly at her then leaned in for another quick peck. He was obsessed already.
‘Definitely glad you invited me along as your date.’ Louise squeaked out.
‘Indeed.’ Chris hummed with a grin as they began dancing slowly again.
Though their sweet moment was short lived, as all of a sudden, the screeching loud sound of the fire alarm rang throughout the school.
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ingravinoveritas · 2 months
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I know most folks have probably seen this already, but I really need to talk about how insane it is that David mentioned Michael as a possible Doctor on an episode of DW Confidential in 2007.
This was ten years before filming GO season 1, and there was absolutely no reason for David to be saying Michael's name. Julie and Jane did not bring Michael up in any capacity, nor was he specifically relevant to the conversation. Yet of all the names David could have said, out of all the countless UK actors in the business...he said "Michael Sheen."
There is this idea that soulmates are "loud." That it means seeing someone from across a crowded room as music swells dramatically in the background. But soulmates are also quiet. A soulmate can be someone you talk about when no one is listening. Someone you think about and who makes you blush for no real reason at all. Someone who lives in the back of your mind, vibrating at a steady hum that you don't even hear at first.
Until it gets louder.
Until they're suddenly a part of your life in a way you never expected.
Until you can't remember anymore what life was like without them.
From BYT in 2003 to this DW Confidential in 2007 to Good Omens in 2017 on into the present. Call it the invisible red string. Call it Fate. Whatever it is that's between them, I am and will forever be in awe at Michael always being on David's mind (and vice-versa), and how they finally found each other...
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finexbright · 2 years
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for fuck's sake the reason harry isn't doing much promo for my policeman isn't because he's a queerbaiter or whatever but because the one time he did speak about the movie he said something so profoundly gay and hashtag relatable about hiding your identity and sexuality and the yearning that comes along with it that everyone was confused how this 'straight' man knew so much about being gay
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adlibitur · 23 days
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i dont use the term "zionist" in general discussion because i can be precise and direct with my words without sounding like I'm quoting david duke actually, and its not that hard.
#im sorry but the fact yall will use these words while also not being able to tell if something is a david duke quote or not tells me all#most of you dont know what it means or use definitions created by outgroups or persecutors#its not that hard to use direct speech to address what you have issue with so you dont end up parroting the former kkk grand wizard#i do actually look down on people who use the term haphazardly and generally because you have become no different than david duke#i also think its incredibly interesting yall will define a jewish movement by outgroup definition but lose your goddamn mind if#say for example yall dont let christians define jihad but yet you do here? oooookay i see you#im not actually sorry for being able to avoid falling in to the mass hysteria directly segwaying you into neonazi ideology#like the only time i use the term is talking about actual jewish zionist thought im not gonna call random fucking jewish people that#and the fact yall do is a glaaaaaring red flag#the fact someone had the audacity to ask me why quoting david duke was a problem and that she should be allowed to for The Cause....#no wonder jewish people are scared i am scared for them you all are too fucking stupid#thinking about the quote from the indigenous farmer who lives near my old home#'nothing more dangerous than a group of white people who think they have your best interests at heart' he said when people were demanding#that normies share war gore and he had to detail why thats actually the opposite of helpful for americans#these people dont want peace they want their idea of moral purity and at the cost of the people directly most affected
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emmasbrain · 1 month
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Miscommunication (the fun kind)
Part 1 | Part 2
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader
Warnings: slight alcohol consumption? i think that’s all, nothing NSFW in this one
Synopsis: Your good friend Penelope sees you in a bar and begs you to sit with her and her work friends. You realise you like one. She also realises you like one. She however, thinks you like the wrong one.
The moment Penelope spotted you, she gasped. “Oh my god!” You spun round on your seat on the bar towards her running over to you in unrunnable heels, a brilliant smile gracing her face and a surprised one falling to yours as you saw each other.
“Penelope?” You hopped off your bar stool and pulled her into a hug. “It’s been too long darlin’. I feel like we haven’t seen each other in years.” You gushed, definitely over exaggerating your circumstances.
“Didn’t we go for coffee last Thursday?” She giggles, and you see the familiar glint in her eye that she only got after a couple of margaritas.
“Like I said, years!” You giggled right back, and she held your hands, leaning in towards you more.
“Who are you here with?” She questioned, looking around.
You shrugged casually, “I came with some girls from work, but they all left with guys and I decided to drink my loneliness away… Except I haven’t actually had a drink yet because I’ve been sitting here debating whether I really want to drink alone.” Your words, though holding a little weight, came out with a laugh and a self deprecating sigh.
Penelope gave you a look, and you knew she was brewing something. “What if… you come sit with us?” Before you can ask questions or protest, she continues, “You know I’ve always wanted to introduce you to the team, which is who I’m here with, and it would be good for you too ‘cus it means you can drink not on your own.” She gives you puppy dog eyes, and clasps her hands together waiting for your answer.
You relent, deciding the sooner you had an interaction with her FBI friends the sooner it was over. You had heard some things, and they seemed lovely, but they were her friends and you had the feeling you wouldn’t be very welcome with your job as a journalist. “Okay fine, but you can’t mention my job. I don’t want them to hate me on the first impression.”
“It’s okay they know, I told them ages ago about what you do. Alright you stay here, I’ll go tell them and then I can introduce you.” She was practically buzzing, so excited you could see it in the air around her. She shuffled away happily, and came back to drag you over a moment later.
As you approached the group, she introduced you in order of where they sat around the table. “That’s JJ, Derek, David, Hotch, Emily, and Spencer. Everybody, this is my friend Y/N.” She smiles all big and goofy and then scrunches up her face in disappointment. “There’s no chairs left.”
You take this as an opportunity. “Well, I suppose that means I should g-“
“Here, you can have mine. I’ll grab one from over there.” Spencer quickly finds a solution, standing to walk over to an unused table and fetch another chair. You follow him with your eyes as he lifts it over. Doctor Spencer Reid. Penelope had mentioned the man on multiple occasions. Ever the problem solver, you gathered from her ramblings on the things he would do and say.
Penelope sits in the chair between JJ and Derek, and the latter lets his arm rest on Penelope’s shoulders. As you sit down in Spencer’s sacrificed chair, he pulls another one in between you and JJ, and you both awkwardly smile at each other before you look down to your hands in your lap. “Thank you.” You whisper to him.
“What for?” He whispers back.
“The chair.” You mumble, and he nods.
“It’s no problem.”
“Okay, I say we get some drinks. How bout it, pretty girl?” Derek's words snap you from your awkwardness, and you smile, realising he’s given you a nickname already.
“I am in dire need of a beer.” You reply, and Emily looks at you from your right.
“Beer, huh? I woulda coined you for a vodka redbull kinda girl. All for the thrills.” She looks at you with a smirk and you shake your head with a giggle.
“I’m normally a whiskey kinda girl actually, I get that from my parents. I only very rarely drink vodka, it just makes me want to make out with people.” The embarrassment soaks in the moment the words come out of your mouth and you realise you’ve just told a group of behavioural analysts that vodka makes you horny.
“Alcohol oftentimes does have the effect of making you sexually confident and can heighten feelings of affection and make you more open to try things sexually. One could assume that your specific set of hormones are just more affected by the chemicals in vodka in comparison to other alcohols.” Spencer pulls his lips into a straight line, and you giggle at his readily available information. Penelope wasn’t joking.
“Thanks, Doc.” You bump his shoulder, and he looks a little confused but mumbles a “No problem” anyway. As he looks away towards Derek and Penelope, you take the chance to study his features discreetly. The angle of his jaw perfectly contrasts the softness of his eyes, the honey brown colour almost sparkling within the dim lighting of the bar. His cheeks are tinged pink from the currently inaudible teasing from Derek, and there’s a little smile on his lips that you could almost envision yourself kissing.
Derek breaks you out of your head a second time. “Hey pretty girl, you wanna go get those drinks now?” He flashes you a grin and you smile, nodding.
“Yea let’s do it. Does everyone know what they want?” As you’re trying to split everyone’s orders between you and Derek, Penelope gives you a look that says “do you have the hots for my friend?” and you give her a look back that says “maybe..” she gasps and the whole table turns to look at her, making her realise that she’d turned the conversation into an out loud one now.
“You know what? Us girls can handle those drinks, Derek. Why don’t you have a seat.” She drags you up to the bar and orders quickly before she forgets, and then whips round to face you.
“You like him. I saw it on your face. You like him!!” She whisper shouts and you glance back to Derek and Spencer hunched over the table chatting. You smile.
“Look at him! Of course I like him, who wouldn’t like him? He’s simultaneously cute and hot and I swear men aren’t supposed to work like that.” You whisper shout back at her, and her smiles sadly.
“I wish I could set you up, but he’s taken. And his girlfriend is amazing so I can’t even be mad about it.” She sighs, and you slightly deflate.
“Oh man, I can’t believe the first time in years that I actually want a guy he’s taken. Just my luck, I suppose.” You laugh, and grab the drinks that have been sat on the bar. “Well, it was nice while it lasted.” You shrug your shoulders and head back over to the table with her, handing everyone their drinks and sitting back next to Spencer to sip your own.
After an hour or so, conversation was going a tad dry, and you decided to use an old icebreaker your college roommate had taught you to get things flowing again. “Okay, one after the other I want everyone to tell the group something embarrassing. It can be anything, as long as it’s about you.” Everyone nods in agreement, and Derek starts.
“There was this one time I was flirting with a girl while I was out with my mom. Now that was my first mistake, my mom comes over and starts talkin to this girl askin if she’s my girlfriend. I said momma I’ve only just met her, and she said ‘well then you better hurry up, this girl is far too beautiful for you to pass up’. Before I could even speak, the girl says ‘I think you’re too beautiful to pass up’. She was talkin to my mom! And I just thought hey maybe she’s just tryna get on moms good side, you know? You win over mom, you win over me. But then she spent 10 minutes flirting with my mother until I had to drag her away. My mom will not stop bringing it up just to mock me.”
Spencer cracked up beside you at the story, and you couldn't help laughing a little with him.
Penelope pipes in, “Tell them when this happened.” He grimaces.
“Last year.” He barely says it loud enough to hear, but you all catch it and it sends you all into a fit of laughter.
Rossi reminisces about the time he proposed to one of his ex wives, and she said no. In public. Then later in the day said yes, telling him she just wanted to embarrass him the way his public proposal had embarrassed her.
Hotch talks of the time he finished work early and decided to pick up Jack from school. The teacher had asked him if he was Jack’s grandfather, and he had to explain that he most definitely was not.
“I once hugged my friend from behind to tell her goodbye at a party. It wasn’t my friend.” Is all Emily gives for details. She grimaces at the sheer memory of it, and you can’t help the little smile that graces your lips.
“My turn then?” You question the group, and they nod. “I probably should’ve used this time to think of what I was gonna say. Well I suppose I’ll use the only one that’s currently present in my mind,” You turn to face Spencer, “I was gonna ask you out before Penelope had to drag me away and tell me you were taken. Which was slightly embarrassing for me in the moment, but as I’m saying this I realise I’ve just embarrassed myself even more.” You nod through your internal pain at how stupid you felt, and took a deep breath before trying to move on. Spencer looked too taken aback to let that happen.
“You were gonna ask me out? And Penelope told you I was in a relationship? Why would she do that?” He looks plain confused now, and you mirror his expression.
“I never told you Spencer was in a relationship. I told you Derek was in a relationship, because I thought he was the friend you said you liked! Wait. So when you said he was hot you meant Spencer?” Now even Penelope looked confused, although not exactly for the same reason you were.
“Yes! Of course I meant Spencer! No offence Derek, you’re lovely but you’re not my type.” You rushed, giving him a sheepish smile.
“And I am?” Spencer speaks again.
“Pretty much yea.” The smile he gives you at your words makes you look away nervously.
“So what you mean is that if you hadn’t been told I was taken I could have went on a date with you?” He’s looking inquisitively at your face now, tracing for signs of a lie as he waits for you to respond.
“You still could go on a date with me.” You suggest, with a little shrug and a smile that reaches your eyes.
“I’d like that.” He nods, slightly enthusiastic but trying to play it cool.
“Me too.” You nod with him. “I should probably be heading home, I have work I still need to catch up on. But I could give you my number and you could take me to your favourite place or something. Somewhere I can get to know you just from looking around.” You suggest, gathering your things and scribbling your number down on a spare napkin.
“That sounds good- great. That sounds great.” His eyes are filled with a mixture of excitement and something else you’re not sure about, but the look on his face makes you smile.
“Call me then.” You nod finally, getting up to leave. You give everyone their goodbyes, hugging them all lightly and giving Spencer a little wave.
Over the next few days the anticipation of his call is almost overwhelming. And when your phone begins to ring, an unfamiliar number popping up on the screen, you bite your nail before clicking the answer button. “Hello?”
“Hi.”
A/N: I don’t actually really like this, but it’s fine. I wanna do a part two, someone tell me to do a part two plsplsplspls. (May rewrite this once i’m not jet lagged and cramming it between studying but idk)
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tsukimefuku · 1 month
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blunt trauma ♰ nanami kento
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summary: your mission is to execute a curse user. the issue? said curse user is nanami kento, your former high school classmate and the man who you still secretly love.
tags and cw: dark content, no use of y/n, sorcerer!f!reader, villain!nanami, +18, explicit smut (mostly rough with tender moments hate/love sex), unprotected sex (wrap it, ppl), masturbation, oral (f receiving), pv, from enemies to enemies who fucked 👍, drama and angst (i’m a latina who grew up watching telenovelas), mentions of death, canon-typical violence, ptsd, cursing, hurt/no comfort, this man is saltier than the sea and turned it into everybody else's problem. 
wc: 7.5k
notes etc.: somehow it became a character study. this is my rendition of what i think gege would make nanami to be like if they followed their original plan and had nanami be a villain. inspo list is so huge i had to make a playlist, i got carried away.
writing/reading soundtrack: playlist link ; main songs → way down we go (kaleo) and daylight (david kushner).
disclaimer: i do not in any way approve of (or encourage) the relationship depicted here. it is toxic and bad for all parties involved. this is fictional and should stay that way.
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oh, father, tell me ♰ do we get what we deserve?
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It felt like the air had been beaten out of your lungs by the very one and only blunt blade you ever knew when you heard the news from Gojo.
Of course the first thing he did when he finished wrapping things up was calling you. If roles were reversed, and this had been Geto, he wouldn't expect any less from you.
During the School's Exchange Event, Jujutsu High was attacked by multiple high grade curses and curse users.
One of them was your former best friend from high school, Nanami Kento. 
"Are you certain it was him?"
"Absolutely," Gojo replied on the other side of the line, "there were traces of cursed energy from his cursed technique. He was also spotted by one of MeiMei's ravens."
"And how many students did he…"
"Two students from Kyoto."
Your head instantly felt dizzy.
"He also killed around a dozen assistants and people securing cursed objects underground."
"Shit… shit," you muttered, forgetting for a few seconds what words were and how to form a coherent sentence. Following suit, your stomach dropped with a sinking ache the moment you made the obvious realization, uttering the most painful thing you had to say in your life — even worse than he's gone, so many years before.
 "This will earn him a death sentence, won't it?"
Gojo was silent for a few moments.
"Hey…"
"Tell me. I can take it."
After a bated breath — from your end, mostly — he confirmed your worst fears.
"Yes. It will."
Ever since Geto's and Nanami's defection, you and Gojo had a special type of shared sorrow over each other's failures to save the people you both loved the most. Call it trauma bonding or codependency, but you developed an unwavering sense of loyalty towards one another.
For that reason, he already knew what you were about to ask him, and you only would because you knew he wouldn't find it in himself to refuse it.
"When it happens, please, have me be appointed as the executioner."
"Of course."
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Sitting with a glass of whiskey while gazing out of the window in an understated house just by the outskirts of Sendai, Nanami couldn't say he was fulfilled, unable to grasp the concept of feeling in any way elated ever since his teenage years. However, he was definitely satisfied that this plan had worked.
He managed to put a dent into Jujutsu Society, aiding Geto — or, at least, someone that looked like him, not that Nanami truly cared about it by this point — in retrieving multiple cursed objects that would be used for their inevitable fallout.
There had been a few casualties, though.
Two students and many personnel died — or rather, met their fateful end by the edge of his blunt blade —, but some deaths should be expected if Jujutsu Society was to be brought to the ground, down to its last brick.
Ever since that fateful day when he was nothing but a tall child sitting beside the cold corpse of his best friend, Yu Haibara, Nanami had simmered what would become a cauldron of absolute venom-dripping rage against Jujutsu Society.
To hell with saving other people — what about them? What about the teenager that would never grow to be a sorcerer, who became an inanimate nothing before ever getting the chance of making something out of himself? 
That face… Nanami could never forget it. It haunted his dreams, even a decade later. Such a stark contrast between the light-spirited smiles and this cold, gray monolith that laid in the morgue.
They had no right to rob their students from their youth, much less from their lives, but that's exactly what Jujutsu High did when they didn't even bother to check the mission appropriately before dispatching Haibara and Nanami to a certain death.
Nanami escaped, but just barely, by the skin of his teeth. Haibara, however, wasn't blessed with the same luck, and drew the short straw when his hitched final breaths met their end against Nanami's shoulder. Nanami, who carried his best friend on his back, desperately tried to win a losing race against death. 
Help was late to arrive.
They were too late for Haibara.
And, in a sense, they were too late for him, too.
The worst part, though, was when they were finally being transported all the way back to Jujutsu High. As he glanced over Haibara’s cadaver, now covered by a body bag, one particularly insensitive assistant very rudely stated, “at least there is a body to be buried.”
At least
There is a body 
To be buried
Those words echoed in his head for what felt like eternity. Was that the best they all had to hope for? To at least have remains left behind for the mourning?
In any case, that was why, even though he had to kill, Nanami never mangled any of his human victims — something not easy to do, given how his technique worked and how easy it was to split someone in half.
You had noticed this perverted benevolence while looking over the necropsy reports, a realization that just added insult to injury.
Let there be something for the funeral, I suppose, was what he told himself.
In his own twisted way, Nanami figured this was a kindness very few sorcerers received at their tragic ends, and decided he'd definitely be more compassionate than what Jujutsu High put their sorcerers through. 
In his eyes, those from Jujutsu High who died under his will were the ones granted a truly merciful death.
His peace was disturbed by the sound of the entrance door being brutally kicked in, flying its way across the living room. He pulled his blunt blade from the side of his armchair with his free hand, but quickly put it down when realizing it was you that had just barged inside.
He knew you very well — well enough to be certain you wouldn't come swinging at him immediately.
"I can see you still have a temper. Destroying the door wasn’t necessary, I would've opened it for you," he stated, sipping on his drink.
"I don't care," you retorted, "I guess you already know why I'm here, in any case."
"I do. You're here to carry out my death sentence," he stated, completely unbothered, as if talking about the weather.
As if he was just mundanely stuck in his ways. 
You huffed, placing your hand over your sword's handle.
"Precisely."
"We haven't spoken in a long time, why don't you take a seat?" Nanami inquired, pointing at the armchair right in front of him. "I want to finish my drink."
You glared at the curse user, as he, unfazed, kept gulping on his whiskey. Nanami was wearing a black buttoned shirt, black pants and black oxford shoes, and you couldn't help but see him as a grim reaper — this was a somber look, fitting for the equally somber man who carried it.
For a second, you took in his features — you hadn’t seen Nanami for a few years after the last time you crossed paths.
His shoulders had slightly broadened, and he still bore the same chiseled face, framed by his sand-blond hair neatly slicked back.
Nanami’s eyes traveled over you quickly, apparently doing the very same thing.
Time had left its marks. It was evident you both had grown up — and apart.
You knew this was a shit idea, but entertained it enough that you actually walked towards the chair and sat down. There were definitely things to be talked about, and you just about had a million questions for him.
Most of them, however, boiled down to what you immediately asked.
"Why did you do it?"
Nanami put his glass on the coffee table right in front of you.
"It was a necessary means to an end."
His words came with frost-bitten coldness, his voice embodying the monotone you once loved, but eventually, grew to hate.
You scoffed, incredulous at his reply, involuntarily clenching your fingers around your katana's handle as it laid on your lap.
"Necessary means to an end? Nanami, you killed teenage sorcerers!"
"As I said, and I don't like repeating myself," he interjected, "it was a necessary sacrifice for a greater cause."
"You're such a hypocritical, self-righteous ass!"
Nanami sighed, clearly displeased.
"We have always been able to keep some semblance of respect for each other, despite our… differences. Do not use that foul language with me."
You laughed bitterly, no amusement or fun in your voice as you did.
"Do you think I can still have an ounce of respect for you after what you did? You murdered my people! They were all sorcerers. You killed students, Nanami! Jujutsu High's students! Just like Haibara once was!"
He shot his eyes at you, and the aura of his cursed energy grew sinister at your words. 
"Don't say his name."
Yu Haibara, arguably the glue that kept the trio together. You were hot headed, Nanami was intransigent, and Yu was the conciliatory ray of sunshine that kept you two — but you, particularly — from constant quarreling as classmates nearly every day.
But back then, you'd argue with Nanami with love.
This wasn't the case now.
Not entirely, at least.
"He was my best friend too, the three of us were! Do you really think this is what he would've wanted?!" you questioned him, equal parts hurt and enraged.
"I'm not one to ponder on could've or would've been's. Haibara is gone."
"I'm not a would've been!"
You could still remember it. The day you realized why dealing with Nanami and hearing his sharp comebacks riled you up so intensely. 
You finally understood you were in love with him.
Ever since the first day you met Nanami, you envied the way he'd be able to keep his feelings in check when you constantly felt like falling apart. You felt jealous at how he was considered a greatly competent individual, regarded by all as the best of your class, while you were basically viewed as a ticking bomb nearing explosion. And finally, it made you livid the way how everyone treated him like the informal leader of the trio when the three of you were out on a mission together.
However, those were the same things that got you to admire your friend and, eventually, fall in love for him.
That day, you asked Nanami to meet you outside after class by himself — much to Haibara's dismay —, because you had something to tell him. It was a Tuesday afternoon, and the unforgiving sun of summer was already setting, casting an orange glow through the leaves of the tree you were both under.
After confessing your feelings for him and bracing yourself for being shot down, because why the hell would Nanami Kento, the brilliant, competent, and mature second-year, have any interest in the chaotic, hot headed mess you were, you realized he actually looked surprised. After taking a few moments to collect himself, Nanami told you how he had thought you actually hated him.
At last, somewhat nervous — but definitely intent on not letting it show —, he confided he had affectionate feelings towards you as well.
Your first kiss was awkward, as it would be expected out of two inexperienced people such as you and Nanami were at that age, but it carried the sweet taste of a blue spring marked by teenage years' innocence.
It felt like a promise.
Unfortunately, such promise was unmercifully cut short the very next day, when Nanami and Haibara were dispatched to their life-changing mission.
What an irony it was that, in the end, you were the one to actually mature over Haibara's death, growing up to be an upstanding sorcerer, loved and admired by peers and students alike, and Nanami was the bomb to blow up in everybody's faces.
What a cruel irony.
"I was there too, and I'm still here, having to pick up the pieces of what you deliberately destroyed!" you rasped, angrily.
"You weren't a 'would've been'? Where were you when we needed you? When I needed you?" his voice didn't conceal the tinge of hurt that those questions carried.
What a fucking low blow.
"Nanami, that's not fair. There wasn't anything I could've done in that situation, and you know that!"
You blamed yourself for a while for not going on that mission with them, until you realized that you too would probably have died if you were there. From the three, Nanami was the only one strong and fast enough to pull off an escape like he did.
He diverted his gaze back to the window.
"You were the one to bring up hypothetical scenarios. Let's indulge in them for a minute, shall we?" 
Nanami glanced back at you, and his next words brimmed with bitter resentment, even if his voice sounded more calm and collected than ever.
"You see someone you supposedly love slowly sinking into darkness. What do you do?"
"Don't you dare, you condescending prick! I asked you so many fucking times what was going on. You were the one who shut me out!"
Your voice carried a decade-old pain that resonated from the depths of your soul.
It came from all the times you entered his dorm room with his favorite sandwich after he had cooped up in there for days on end, and he didn't even bother to eat it. Every time you asked him to talk to you, said you were there for him, and was met by a vacant stare.
And, at last, the time when he cruelly blamed you for not being there when Haibara died.
The way he coldly told you about Haibara's last words.
According to Nanami, Haibara said he wanted to speak to you one last time, at least to bid you farewell.
And you weren't there.
Oh, the viciousness with which he blamed you, and decided you owed him something for this perceived failure. 
The next time Nanami talked to you, he asked you to leave Jujutsu High with him, just like Geto did, and swore to destroy them. You tried, pleaded, implored for him to reconsider and stay, but the very following day, you were met by an empty room where the person you once loved used to be. 
That emptiness had, paradoxically, filled you wholly with grief.
Gojo once told you that nobody could save someone who didn't want to be saved.
You still thought you should've tried harder, in a childish attempt at giving yourself an illusory semblance of control over that clusterfuck of a situation.
This is the gap inside our psyche that feeling guilty tries to fill, isn't it?
We can only feel guilty about the things we could've changed, right?
Your voice sounded decades older than yourself, burdening the weight of multiple lifetimes of hurt and grief. Your soul was too old for your own good.
"How can you find it in yourself to blame me for this?! No… This is a prison of your own making. You built the house of cards that is tumbling down on your head as we speak entirely by yourself."
He huffed intensely through his nostrils — Nanami’s version of a snort —, looking the other way before proceeding, each syllable hitting you with the deadly precision of his cursed technique.
"You abandoned us, leaving me and Haibara to fend for ourselves, just like Jujutsu Society did."
By that point, you began yelling, and your voice reverberated all across the room.
"The hell I did!"
You had to take a deep breath before proceeding.
"I just couldn't get behind this dumb idea that we should become curse users and bring down Jujutsu Society."
"Why didn't you come with me?" he finally asked, in an amalgam of pain, sadness, longing, anger, and stinging resentment. "I would have followed you to the deepest recesses of hell if you asked me to."
You huffed, laughing angrily in between your teeth, before thrusting your words like thorns against him.
"Funny you should say that. You'd go anywhere for me? How about staying? Why couldn't you have stayed for me, then?!" 
Perhaps that request was egotistical, but you didn't care. If only for a moment, you wanted to give yourself this small privilege — to want in a world of duty.
"I was the one actually left to fend for myself, right inside the belly of the beast, and you couldn't have cared less."
He stared at you, nothing in his eyes other than the void left behind after his spirit got killed with his best friend so many years ago.
"I didn't stay because… Because," Nanami stated, with a grave finality, "and you're the one who chose to stay. You're still actively choosing to, just like you did back then."
"That's not a good enough answer," you replied with a bad taste in your mouth.
"It's what you've earned," he coldly replied, "but in case you change your mind-"
"Enough," you interrupted him, incredulous that even after everything, this man had the nerve of suggesting you'd ever be interested in running away with him. "It appalls me you would even consider I could… After what you've done? No, never."
Nanami sighed, and for a brief moment, seemed to be actually disappointed under his resigned, polished visage.
"Well, then. Let's get this over with, at once."
In a split second, you pushed your chair on the ground, falling on your shoulders and rolling on your back, dodging his lightning-fast attack. It left a crater behind, right where you were seconds before. Nanami jumped over the fallen armchair, and you dodged him once again, spinning on your heels, unsheathing your sword as you did so, to deal a beheading blow on the back of his neck.
However, right before impact, you faltered, slowing down your movement.
Your own body held you back from taking his life.
He didn't seem to notice.
Nanami bent down just in time to avoid the blow, and swung his blunt blade towards your kneecap. You were quick on your feet, and jumped back, putting a good distance between the both of you.
"I can see you're actually fighting to kill," he noted, getting up on his feet.
"Of course. That's what I came here to do," you spat in his direction.
"You were never the practical one."
You scoffed.
"Guess I learned something from you."
He smiled at the irony of that, but his eyes didn't follow his expression. 
Nanami lunged at you, but while you thought he'd deal his next blow in your direction, he hit your footing, having you fall on the ground. Abruptly, his blunt blade descended in your direction, but you were able to catch it and have it slip to your side using your katana supported by your hand behind it, sending a sharp, loud sound around the vicinity, trembling against the bones and flesh of the house.
You rolled on your side when he struck a new hit in your direction, leaving another gaping hole on the floor, and you jumped yourself up. 
Before you could attack him, however, he took you by surprise, and you lifted your sword to defend yourself. Nanami hit your katana with his blunt blade, breaking it near where the handle and the steel met, launching your body back on the wall.
The impact knocked the air out of your lungs, and you fell to your knees, unable to recover yourself as you got up. Instantly, you heard his quick, steady steps sprinting their way in your direction.
You were cornered.
This is it.
You braced yourself for the impact, closing your eyes. You remembered his technique perfectly.
Precise, just as he was.
Deadly, just as he was, too.
You were to die at the hands of the man you loved, who had become a murderer and only a distorted, broken version of whom you used to truly love.
This seemed like an oddly cruel way to go.
However, the impact never came.
His blunt blade stopped as it was about to hit your stomach, and you opened your eyes, just to see his face mere inches apart from yours. His mountainous form blocked your view from anything else behind him, and Nanami, at that moment, actually looked like the menace he truly was. 
“Why were you appointed as my executioner?” Nanami asked, much to your surprise.
“I asked to be,” you answered, holding his gaze as something went through his eyes. A hint of anger, most likely, and some sense of betrayal, certainly. 
“So, you want to kill someone you once loved? You were always prone to self-penitence, so it stands to reason you’d do something idiotic like that.”
You scoffed, grimacing at him, feeling your entire body incandescent with rage.
“I fucking hate you, Nanami.” 
He inched his face even closer, brushing your noses against one another, eyes stone-cold and hauntingly vacant.
“I hate you as well.”
For a moment, you wondered if he had really stopped his blade before impact. You didn't expect it, but hearing those words felt like you just had been hit, victim of a blunt trauma, at how much they tore you apart. 
The same blunt trauma that severed the Nanami you once knew — the teenager with bangs, who'd always be carrying around a few spare changes to get soda cans from the vending machine for you and Haibara, in his own understated kindness — and this empty monster looking back at you.
"Good. Finish me off, then, and get your revenge for a crime I never committed. Being unfair and an all-around self-centered asshole certainly suits you, fucker."
His hand made its way up your neck, and you were pressed against the wall. The grip was firm, but not enough to choke you — it came more as a warning than anything else.
"I already told you to stop using that foul language with me," he ordered, low voice simmering with genuine irritation.
"Then make me," you challenged him, hoping for this torture to be over as fast as possible.
Just fucking kill me already.
His blunt blade fell with a thud on the floor, and you were confused for a moment, wondering if he really wouldn't give you the kindness of a quick demise. Did he plan on choking you to death?
Did he hate you that much?
His other hand came up, but before you could do anything to try to resist — which would be nothing but a futile attempt at survival, given that Nanami was physically much stronger than you —, his fingers snaked their way through the back of your hair, tugging it at the roots. 
His mouth clashed against yours, all teeth, tongue, anger, and hunger, and instantly every nerve in your body flared up with a raging fiery ember you hadn't felt in years. All the pent-up resentment, hurt, and desire you had for Nanami swirled together in your gut, guiding your hands up his hair, as you also pulled on it intently, robbing him of a gasp.
You intertwined your tongue against his, and he unceremoniously bullied his own inside your mouth, leaving no crevice unexplored, as his hand on your neck descended towards your waist, where he clenched his fingers with a vicious grip. You whimpered against his lips, and he grunted in return, pushing his body on yours. His throbbing growing cock could be felt, even through both of your clothes, as he pressed it right against the edge of your pants.
When you finally parted after what seemed like a not-long-enough eternity, you huffed and panted, and albeit less than you, he was panting too.
"I fucking… hate you…" you gnarled, glaring into his eyes. The hazel-brown gaze you once adored was now clouded and dark, like the muddy waters of a deep lake.
"Shut the fuck up," Nanami groaned back, strongly cupping your cunt with his large hand. You whimpered in surprise, and he pulled you in harshly for another kiss, letting go of your hair and sex to sink his fingers on the backside of your thighs, pulling them. You immediately jumped up and threw your arms around his shoulders, as he manhandled your legs to have them hooked around him.
He quickly took you both inside the room, and tossed you on the bed, having you gasping in surprise. Before you could catch your breath, he climbed his way on top of you, pressing your body down, and clashed his mouth against yours again, making you actually lightheaded from a lack of air.
You pushed against his chest, grunting uneasy, and surprisingly, he parted his lips from yours.
"What?"
You panted heavily, nearly hyperventilating, and mindlessly rested your hand on his cheek.
"C-can't breathe…" was all you mustered up to say, trying to replenish oxygen back into your system.
His eyes softened so discreetly you nearly missed it, and his cold-ivory enclosure slightly cracked under the affectionate touch he didn't expect.
Nanami had no idea how much he had craved it ever since you parted ways, and hated himself, just a little, for how much such an innocuous gesture stirred his old feelings up, throwing his heart against his chest in a fluttering rush.
I should be over her by now, dammit.
Nanami also brought his hand up your face, and ghosted over your cheek for a second before sliding his fingers delicately down over it.
You also weren't prepared for that, and your chest tightened all over your heavy heart as you remembered your first kiss.
The way he'd cup your face in his hands.
 So delicate, so lovely.
This touch, at this very moment, felt like a painful reminder of everything you had lost.
"Kento…" you cooed, voice strained in your throat, with all the things you were sure you'd never say.
He hummed your name in return, and kissed you while sinking your body against the mattress. This kiss was different, as his lips brushed gently over yours, and his tongue tenderly teased over the seam of your mouth. You welcomed him in, and you both explored these deep waters tentatively, as he upped the intensity after each stroke of your tongues against each other.
He tasted like whiskey, and bread, and the tainted love left behind as nothing but a reminiscence of less grueling days. You couldn't help but feel robbed by him.
You both had been missing out on this for all these fucking years.
"Why did you have to go?" you asked, pulling back from him, a tinge of anger to your cadence, and another of pain in your face.
"Why did you have to stay?" he spat back at you, equal parts saddened and resentful.
His mouth made its way to your neck, and you gasped with the sensation of his warm breath mingled with saliva against your skin, as he licked and bit his way around.
You couldn’t find it in yourself to push him away, and your eyes burned with the prickling sensation of tears that wouldn’t come. You were starved for his touch, his smell, his body, even if this was the murderer of your students, of your friends.
In your head, you felt like digging a hole and throwing yourself in it, to wallow in the misery of realizing that you were about to fuck the murderer of people you loved, and that it felt good.
A pool of heat and fire shot down your insides as your heartbeats throbbed in between your legs.
You hated yourself, and on top of it all, hated Nanami. 
Hated that you couldn't help but still love him, even after all he had done.
This was the setting tension in between the both of you, the two extremes of hate and love pulling against each other, all while the tug of war rope refused to snap to either side.
He pulled your shirt over your head, tossing it aside, and you undid his shirt, unzipping his pants. He unzipped you too, and quickly enough, took off your pants along with your panties with a single sharp tug.
Back to rough, but not entirely, it seemed.
His hand glided against your thigh and his fingertips slipped over your entrance, getting completely glazed by your already dripping arousal. He grunted, a guttural and intense sound deep in his chest, giving you another bite on the soft skin of your neck.
"Hate me?" Nanami asked, teasing his digits over your cunt, "doesn't seem like it."
You managed to scoff at him, which would prove to be a mistake.
"Go fuck yours-"
Before you could finish your sentence, he dove two of his fingers inside knuckle-deep, without any hint of a warning, forcefully stretching your walls around them. You immediately let out a whimper so pitiful you wondered if that was really your voice.
He seemed satisfied at that. Perhaps, even elated.
"Good girl," Nanami whispered right beside your ear, nibbling against your earlobe with his teeth, sending shivers down your spine. He began sliding his fingers in and out, and you bucked down against his hand while moaning and mewling, walls sheathing his digits as he finger-fucked your cunt, neglecting your clit as punishment for calling him a condescending prick earlier.
His palm rucked against your dripping folds, echoing wet slaps all throughout the room, as your arousal kept pooling on his palm.
He mumbled softly against your skin, bringing his mouth up to brush against yours, "hate… you still love me."
You instantly drew one of your hands to slap him in the face for this hurtful teasing, but he had quick reflexes — quicker than yours. He dodged himself back as your hand hit the empty sheets, and edged his fingers to hit against your soft spot, pressing it so violently, you let out a strained cry from the shooting overstimulation pain.
"Ah- Shit!" you shouted, face all scrunched up.
"Can't you behave for once?" he chided, "why is it so hard for you to j-just-“ 
Nanami’s breath hitched in his throat as he grunted, unable to finish his sentence.
You shut him up the only way you could think — grabbing his cock harshly over his boxers. It was extremely effective, and he immediately humped his length against your hand, while lowly groaning.
With trembling hands and a violent snap, you haphazardly pulled his boxers down to his mid-thighs, as his fingers kept mercilessly bullying their way inside you, sending vibrating waves all throughout your body with every thrust.
“Stop… telling me… ah-aaah-“ you rolled your eyes back with a loud moan, struggling to keep a train of coherent thought, gnarling your next words,  “what to… ah- do!”
His cock sprang out, slapping against his belly. The tip was already flustered red, leaking with pre-cum, and had a long, prominent vein on the underside.
To punish him back for the roughness, you grabbed his length with one hand, and with the other, pressed the middle of your palm against his flushed tip, glistening his arousal around it with enough force to jump across the divide between intense pleasure and painful overstimulation.
Nanami cursed with a feral voice through his teeth, immediately biting the side muscles of your neck with no semblance of restraint, making sure to leave a purple remnant of pain etched on your skin.
“Ah- ouch! Fuck!” you spat out, tightening your grip around his cock, but weakened enough to release the tight pressure against his tip, letting him fuck into your hand. His hips bucked erratically, and his lips pressed a quick kiss right where he had previously bitten.
He couldn't help it.
Suddenly, Nanami stopped his rutting fingers to press his thumb against your already throbbing clit. That instantly had you seeing stars as you cursed loudly in between moans and grunts, drawing your free hand to his head, ferociously tugging at his hair, as heat pooled in your lower abdomen like fiery embers of coal.
He grabbed your arm, pulling it away from his shaft, and removed his fingers from your walls, having them clenching around nothing at such a sudden emptiness. You began complaining, only to have your voice cut short by his tongue slipping its way inside your mouth, in a sloppy, wet kiss. 
Parting from you, Nanami’s eyes were glassy, and you were absolutely sure your gaze must’ve looked just as hazy as his.
In a brief moment, before you realized it, he slid himself down, and unceremoniously lapped at your already sensitive clit with his warm tongue, hot breath tickling against your sensitive skin.
Both of your hands descended towards his hair, brushing over his golden and now messy locks more tenderly than you expected. Nanami suddenly shivered and moaned into your cunt, edging his tongue down your folds and back, eyes fluttering shut the moment he tasted you entirely.
He felt a tinge of pain clench at his chest, realizing this was the taste he had missed out on for all that time — your taste, which would surely ruin him forever.
Nanami’s pain, however, was quick to turn into outrage, as he began sucking on your clit relentlessly, eliciting the most animalistic sounds you had ever uttered.
You instinctively tried backing away, and he pulled on your thighs, holding them with such a violent force that his hand was sure to leave an engraving of his digits over your plush skin.
Nanami was intent on dragging this orgasm out of you by any means necessary.
You had never given him anything he wanted from you — be it the company to fight against Jujutsu High or the same unwavering loyalty he had for you. So this was something he’d take.
If you wouldn’t be by his side, then the least you could do was to cum for him so fervently, he’d be sure to ruin you just as much as he felt like you had ruined him. You owed him that, or so Nanami thought.
“Aaah-- Kento! S-slow d-… fuck!”
You came with a thunderous shout, jolting your hip forward as your thighs tightened with inhuman strength to the sides of his head. Nanami made sure to deliciously lick your way down from your high, applying such a precise and perfect pressure on your clit that you could’ve wept from sheer satisfaction.
After your legs went limp, he slowly climbed his way back to you, pressing kisses all over your body, leaving a ghost of heat wherever his mouth traveled. When Nanami finally reached your face, he put his forearms against your sides, hands over your shoulders, caging you in, as he pressed his mouth against yours in a slow kiss.
You were floating in a calm sea, salty waves caressing your body every time they passed through, and it felt cozy. Inviting, even. As he parted his lips from yours, Nanami gazed into your eyes in the way he used to.
For a second, you got catapulted into the past, and the orange sun that warmed your cheeks through the leaves as you kissed for the first time seemed to shine its rays over again.
With his arms around you, the nonsensical feeling of being protected washed over your heart.
“Come with me,” he whispered with a sultry, husky voice. 
“Kento…” you cooed, sighing, wanting nothing more than for this moment to extend for infinity.
But it couldn’t.
You didn’t go with him, so many years ago.
And wouldn’t go now, either.
That wasn’t how it worked for the both of you.
Nanami understood it, and what seemed like another crack against his unwavering walls had formed the moment his brows furrowed above his eyes.
“Fine, then,” he said, with a tinge of genuine hurt to his voice.
You parted your thighs to accommodate his hips, and he obliged, guiding his hand down to align his cock against your entrance. You bent and hooked your legs around him, pulling him in, and as the tip of his length got pressed against your dripping cunt, he gasped slightly over your lips.
Nanami sunk in slowly, going through your already relaxed ring. However, it apparently wasn’t relaxed enough, or perhaps he was just too big, because you could feel every inch of stretching his cock made against your walls as he slowly bottomed out inside your cunt.
His mouth fell open and you exhaled a moan into it, breaths mingling together. You two drank each other in. Nanami pressed his forehead against yours, and you both held each other’s gaze, as he pulled your left wrist above your head, holding it there, pushing you down the mattress by your waist with his other hand.
After a moment for you to take him in, Nanami began rolling his hips into you, while his hand kept bruisingly pressing your wrist against the mattress. You could feel his balancing act of trying to love you and wanting to hurt you at the same time.
You weren’t so different from him in that sense, though. Your nails got dragged down his back with abrasive force, and for a second, you considered drawing blood from him. He grunted, and you saw the spark of cold-hearted anger flash through his now dimmed eyes.
You both wanted to love each other just as much as you wanted to hurt each other.
In a more forgiving universe, perhaps, he’d hold your hand tenderly, intertwining his fingers in yours. Maybe you two would be in the kitchen as he showed you one of his favorite bread recipes, and share quiet moments of understanding companionship when remembering those who had left this world too soon.
But this wasn’t that universe, unfortunately.
He was to die, and you were to carry out his execution. 
Except you couldn’t, because even if you still tried to cling on to any sliver of morals, even if his life was something yours alone to take, the mere thought of a world without Nanami was far worse than the reality of a world in which he was a murderer.
You insisted on fighting a losing game, and much to no one’s surprise, you lost. 
Good riddance to me, I suppose.
His grunts came hitched and stuttered against your mouth as he was now rutting himself into you, biting your lower lip hard enough to almost pierce the skin with his teeth. You moaned loudly, dragged around with pain and pleasure, the combo that seemed to summarize the gist of your relationship.
He let go of your wrist and descended his hand without a warning towards your already overworked clit, glazing his thumb against the ring of arousal you were leaving around him before starting to make circles around your nub. Your moans came out cracked and faltering, as you tried to resist the instinctive urge of fleeing that the overstimulation was eliciting.
“Give me… one more,” Nanami groaned lowly against your cheek, planting multiple kisses down the side of your face and your chin. His hair — which had already fallen from its usual slick arrangement — brushed against your fluttering eyelids, momentarily weaving golden sand colors over your your vision, and you drove both your hands to the back of his head, pulling him in for another kiss. 
You could kiss him like this forever. 
You actually wanted to, at that moment.
To his request, you nodded, and this was probably the first time you acquiesced to any request Nanami had ever made to you. 
Fulfilled, his thrusts and his finger over your clit became increasingly erratic, as he was now moaning your name against your mouth. You pushed your tongue over his, sliding your hands up his head to tug at his roots, and that was all it took to tip him over the edge.
Nanami came with a muffled groan, having your tongue still pushed inside his mouth, and kept pumping himself inside you trying to keep the comedown at bay. His thick, white cum got glazed all over inside you, and the slaps of flesh and skin began sounding ever more wet than they already were.
You weren’t so far off, with your walls fluttering around him, and he noticed it, keeping his now trembling thumb pressed and circling intently over your clit. With one perfectly applied nudge on your sensitive bud, Nanami finally pulled you over the edge along with him.
Some tears began pooling on the edges of your lashes, and all your emotions — anger, sadness, grief, longing, and a particular brand of despair you cultivated during the last decade — came crashing down as he wrenched your second orgasm from you.
Your body convulsed under him, fluttering walls expelling his softening cock out, as you shouted and grunted into his mouth. You didn’t know if you were more furious at yourself for still loving him, at him for loving you, or at Jujutsu Society for jumbling you both like pawns to be tossed around until you two were broken beyond repair.
Angry at them for sending the young out to have their spirits crushed too soon. For all the deaths no one got to mourn because there was too much work, too little time, and the wounded were always left behind to fend for themselves.
Just like you were.
And just like Nanami was.
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You sat at the edge of the bed while putting your shirt back on, and looked back at Nanami, who had his buttoned shirt open over his chest.
“Are you still resolute on your decision of not coming with me?” Nanami asked, with a tinge of eagerness. Or maybe it was just your imagination.
You pondered for a moment, and knew exactly what the answer to that question was.
“Yes. I’m not coming with you.”
For a second, you caught the faintest glimpse of the person he used to be. Something aching to genuine disappointment.
The longing that flashed through him, unfortunately, was quick to go, as he began buttoning his shirt down, averting his gaze elsewhere.
“Why?”
“Because I’d hate myself for the rest of my life if I did,” you stated, sighing before continuing, “and it’s not because I can’t kill you or because I love you that I don’t despise you. You crossed an uncrossable line.”
He pursed his lips, and almost felt regretful for the path he chose.
Almost, since regret now would come ten years too late.
“You can’t go back. They will know you let me go,” Nanami remarked. Be it from him or from looking around this house, Jujutsu High would surely hold you accountable for this — for willingly letting the curse user and murderer, Nanami Kento, escape their wrath.
“I know that,” you replied, a tad bit more defeated than you expected, “that’s why I’m fleeing to Hokkaido.”
He sighed and looked at you. You held his gaze, feeling a little hint of anxiety at what he seemed to be simmering under the surface.
With a warmer expression — or as warm as he could muster it up to be  —, Nanami spoke again. 
“I truly want you to come with me. You’d be safer. We’d… be by each other’s side.”
For a moment, you faltered, open lips with no sound coming out of them. Blinking yourself back to Earth, you asked, “you mean together?”
Nanami kept silent, but nodded, waiting for your response.
He wasn’t just asking for you to come with him, but to be with him.
You wanted to. You did. Something Nanami never knew was just how much you wanted to follow him when he asked you the same thing, so many years ago.
But even though you wholeheartedly loved him with every minute part of your being, your loyalty lied elsewhere.
Not with him, but with the people he had killed.
Well, at least that was the comfortable lie you were capable of living with.
It would destroy you to realize the loyalty you had for the murderer of the people you loved. 
In the end, even if you weren’t a teenager anymore, you were just as much a hostage to your feelings as you had always been.
The ticking took a long time, but the bomb eventually went off.
With a decade’s old delay.
“I… just can’t. I can’t.”
Nanami reclined himself against the wall over which the bed rested, closing his eyes as he supported the back of his head on it. 
He never told you, but this moment broke his heart all over again.
He felt pathetically small.
Guess we get what we deserve, after all.
“You really do have a taste for penitence,” Nanami noted, his voice barely concealing the bitterness that tainted those words.
You scoffed, getting up on your feet, ready to leave as the first rays of sunshine began bleeding through the thick curtains that covered the bedroom’s window.
“Go to hell.”
He chuckled, a sound you hadn’t heard in a very long time. However, it sounded off-key. Wrong.
Sad.
“We’re already here.” 
At the end of it all, he wasn’t wrong.
You were doomed to always keep leaving each other.
If only the world had been a little kinder.
But kindness, it seemed, wasn’t in the cards for you.
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End notes: I’m silently screaming. Oh my, this one took way longer than expected, but I enjoyed the writing process during every step of the way (I mean, if that wasn’t evident already from the fact that I made a playlist for this 😂). I forgot how much I was a sucker for gut wrenching angst. Hope you enjoyed it too! 🦉
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Tag list: @actuallysaiyan @diogodxlot @jadedjane @redlikerozez @voiceless9000
@marvelousfanfictionbitch @kentocalls @ohhheymessa @magical-girl-b @simp-manhwa
@codenamesongbird
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Text
Slashers with an S/O who has a Newfoundland Dog
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A Newfoundland Dog is my dream dog, and I had this thought of stabby men with a Newfie dog.
Characters: The Sinclairs, Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers (78, 07, and 2018), Thomas Hewitt, Bubba Saywer, and John Kramer (I know he's not a Slasher but I've watched Saw X and wanted another character to add here)
CW: Boys getting Slobby kisses from a large dog
Vincent Sinclair
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Your dog came with you when you came to Ambrose. A 6 month old Newfoundland Dog
Your puppy found the way to the basement and found Vincent working at his desk
He was surprised that it wasn't Jonesy, and he walked with pup to find you
Let's just say one thing let to other
Vincent fell in love with Annie, your chocolate Newfie. He thought she was just like Jonesy, but he was so wrong.
6 months later and Annie's head is near his hips
You love seeing your big doggo with your Wax Hubby, giving kisses
Left side of his face is covered in slobber
Vincent would sketch your Newfe when whenever he doesn't know what to draw
Jonesy has a new friend to play with
Bo Sinclair
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Your 3 yo Newfie walked into the Church when you weren't looking and had to go get
Bo turned around and got a big slobbery kiss from your doggo
"DAVID, GET BACK HERE." You said getting your Dog to come to you. Leaving Bo's face covered. "Sorry." You said as you closed the door.
You were telling your dog not to do that, when Bo came out to have a Cigarette
"Sorry about that. David is really friendly with people." You said 'That a Dog?" Bo said, "He's a Newfoundland Dog."
Bo thinks your dog isn't one but a Horse
David would try to give Bo more kisses when he sits on the couch
He would guard his food when he's eating at the table as David tried to get at it
"There a reason you named him David? Was it from that Werewolf movie?" He asked as he patted David resting head on his leg. "Yeah, you seen it?" You asked, "I may see it on tv."
Lester and Vincent definitely love David.
Lester Sinclair
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Automatically in love with your pooch
Your dog, Aaron, knocked him over when they jumped up
Lester's face was covered in slobber, which he cleaned up with his tank top as he got up
Jonesy was taken aback from how big your dog was. But they got along real quickly
Bo and Vincent thought you owned a bear from how big they where
He's giving a lot of treats to your doggo
Michael Myers
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Oh Great
A Dog?
Michael met your puppy when he came home from his walk
A black and white pupper looking at his face
Michael wanted to get rid of it as he grabbed the scruff of their neck till he heard your voice screaked at him. "DON'T YOU DARE HURT BOWIE!! "
Michael definitely wanted not to be hit by something, so he put down Bowie.
Michael would have Bowie giving him kisses on his cheek when he's on the floor. He didn't like it, with a sour look on his face
He had to get used to your puppy
A few months and Bowie is much bigger than when they were a puppy. Michael noticed that he had to ask what breed Bowie is.
A Newfoundland Dog?? And they Get How Big?? Oh God
8 months later, Bowie is near his hips and needs a lot more food.
Michael would take them for a walk when you're at work
Bowie is now fully grown, and their face is right at his when he sits on the couch
Michael is now in love with Bowie
Jason Voorhees
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Hello, did you big home a bear cub?
It's a Newfoundland Dog? Never heard of those before
That's an Adorable face I can't resist
Jason's keeping a close eye on your puppy when they go outside
Jason decided to give them the name Teddy cause of the mistake he thought
Couple months later, Teddy is double in size from the day you brought them home
Poor Jason nearly had a heart attack when Teddy jumped onto the lake, but Teddy started to swim back to the shore
Fun fact: Newfoundlanders have webbed feet that's great for swimming and a thick coat to fight the chill of the water.
Jason will take Teddy on long hikes when you're at work
His face is going to he covered in slobber from Teddy
Michael Myers RZ
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Oh God, there's a Bear in the house
Oh, it's a Dog
Definitely a Big Dog
Michael didn't know what to do, so he just patted their head
When he's just working on his masks, Danny is right beside him
When on the couch, he let's them lay on his lap
He would give a kiss if they kissed him first (But not with His Tongue lol)
Thomas Hewitt
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Thomas met you with your big doggo when your car broke down near his mama's gas station
Thomas was shocked at the size of your dog. He thought it was a bear when he saw them.
Mickey was the name of your Canine pal
Holty got licked by Mickey whenever he sat down on the couch. Thomas couldn't help but snickered
Thomas would come up from the basement to see Mickey laying at the top of the stairs waiting for him.
Laying in bed, Mickey would wake him up with wet doggie kisses on his face
Luda would spoil them with little goodies
The Hewitt resident's is a Dogs dream place. A lot of running around and places to go have privatize
Peepaw Michael Myers
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Michael was taken aback by this large Dog, he thought it was a bear at first
It just Woofed. it's a Dog
Normally, not a Dog person Michael felt differently with this Newfoundland Dog
Michael would be woken from his old man naps with a slobbery kiss from Arnold
Would definitely give them a scratching on their neck when he's reading a book
You catch Michael napping with Arnold on the couch
Michael may share his food with Arnold
Bubba Saywer
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Bubba Squealed in delightment, seeing a puppy bolting towards him
You brought home a puppy to brighten up Bubba's mood
Nubbin being himself tried to play fetch with the new addition to the family
"A Newfoundland Dog? Do they find new land?" Chop Top asked
Drayton hopes the dog doesn't pee inside the house
Jed gotten bigger as the months go by
Bubba loves getting kisses from Jed, but not Drayton
A run outside with you and Jed
Happy man loves the Big Doggo
John Kramer
Long story short, you became a caregiver to him
You sometimes bring your 5-year-old Newfie dog with you to John's "place of work"
Definitely a highlight of his day when you're gentle gaint rest there head on his leg. Much easier for getting pats on their head
Kisses on his hands
One Apprentice hope they don't pee on the floor
Bonus Character:
Corey Cunningham
Doesn't want to let go of your puppy when he comes over
Automatically, his therapy Animal
Loves getting kisses from your puppy makes him feel much better
Definitely would stay with you overnight to be with your puppy longer
He would volunteer to dogsit when your go to work
His mother is going to wonder why he's covered in dog hair
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bubblergoespop · 7 days
Text
My Top David Quotes
i need this man to hold me while i cry
“Oops.”
“If I gave Milo less than a full month to plan out his outfit, I’m sure he’d kick my ass. If he could reach it.”
“This is omega shit, I’m not built for this.”
“Oh god they’re gonna pet me, oh fuck I didn’t think about that. I’m not some house dog I don’t need— [melts at angel petting him]”
“Is my Angel mad at me?”
“Call me that one more time and you won’t be able to walk tomorrow.”
“If I’m not good enough then go find someone who is, see if I care. No. You know what, no fuck that. I do care. I love you.”
“What? He doesn’t even drink tea, he drinks coffee what are you talking about?”
“Your words carry weight with me, no matter how much or how little you talk.”
“I will not participate in your little gossip session. I am the pack alpha, I have to be above that kind of shit… but yes Amanda and Christian are definitely fucking and yes it is definitely going to get very awkward.”
“No I won’t be able to talk, I become a fucking wolf. I can only make wolf noises..”
“I know I can be rough and nasty. […] But I just need you to know that, no matter what, I have never regretted being with you for a second. I’m proud to call you my mate.”
“He would have loved you, you know. You would have made him laugh.”
“Alpha privileges.”
“You make him happier than I’ve ever seen him before. And he deserves that. So thank you. For taking care of him. [Asher singing in background] Is he…? Oh god, never mind. He doesn’t deserve anything.”
“That phrase is perfectly common, shut up. But… keep talking. Because I like your voice, you snot, and I missed hearing it.”
“You cannot tell when I need something… who am I fucking kidding? Yes you can.”
“I want to fuck you into this bed so hard that the frame breaks underneath us, and then fuck you into the floor even harder.”
“I love my pack but there isn’t a half decent cook in the entire group. [if you listen very closely you can hear Milo’s feral growling in the background]”
“No, I don’t like it when you hold me. Or when you nuzzle my neck. [proceeds to whimper]”
“Those sounds are for me.”
“There’s not much in this world I’d get on my knees for. But for you—always.”
“Where's the troublemaker? Out looking for a bear to fight one on one or something?”
“You’re one of my best friends, Milo. You’re family. And I’m very grateful for you.”
“You hold my heart in your hands, Angel.”
“God, you’re as bad as Ash. Sorry, don’t let me rob you of credit. You’re much worse. I love you too.”
“After all, who am I to say no to my Angel?”
“What am I gonna do with you?”
“Sappy. Yes you are. You’re my sappy, sentimental thief.”
“[scoff] You missed.”
“When I’m with you, I’m not an Alpha. I’m not a friend, I’m not a competitor, I’m… I’m David. And I thought I’d lost him a long time ago.”
“Tell me you didn’t just call that Pokemon ‘Daddy’.”
“Drive safe.”
“I want it to be whatever you want it to be.”
“Breathe. Relax into it. I’ve got you. It’s almost all the way in..”
“Tearing through clothes is fucking hot.”
“And to think, some people believe you’re nice. I like bite. And history says you do too.”
“It was worth every sleepless night. You are worth everything, angel.”
“I’m yours.”
“You’ve always had a way of being a ray of sunshine in my life, whatever the source of the darkness might be, whether that’s stuff from the outside, or stuff from inside of me.”
“Only if you do…”
“I don’t know if I should kill them or marry them.” (he chose marry them)
“You shouldn't be facing this alone. You're family. You're one of us. We love you.”
“We’ve got five minutes before the food gets here, we’ve done more with less.”
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justnatoka · 6 days
Text
The Lost Boys headcanons
How they would behave in a relationship
Warning: possessive behavior, some smut (mainly in Paul's and Marko's parts oops)
The reader is body and gender neutral.
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David
He’s definitely the possessive type. You’re his and he lets everybody know it.
He either has his arm around your shoulder or his hands on your waist. He also probably gives you hickeys in very visible spots for the same reason ;)
Or he simply just hovers over you. Like all the time.
If someone tries flirting with you, he’s behind you in an instant, and all he has to do is look at them menacingly. You’re not even surprised anymore that every guy seem to run off scared after just a few words, even if they started talking to you for a completely innocent reason. Now you just turn around with a “really?”
I imagine him to be less into PDA. But when you’re just with the boys he sits you into his lap and rests his hand on your thigh while talking to the others.
He probably shows you more physical attention in front of them, because he’s more comfortable around them.
Even though he’s possessive, he doesn’t really get jealous, at least he tells himself he doesn’t. He trusts you and knows you wouldn’t cheat on him, it’s other people he doesn’t trust. Scaring off guys is just him protecting what’s his.
I can imagine him trying to control you in some small ways, like not letting you wear stuff that shown too much skin in public or trying to keep you from hanging out alone with guy friends that he doesn’t know well. It comes from his protectiveness over you. But I also think that if you talk to him about these things bothering you, he will stop doing it.
You’re one of the few people who can get him relaxed when he feels stressed out. Like when he comes back frustrated from a meeting with Max, or when leading the group and keeping them in line (looking at you, Marko and Paul) gets to him after a long day.
He just walks over to you and sinks into your embrace, resting his forehead against yours with eyes closed and just listening to you breath for a few minutes.
He likes it when you give him shoulder massages when he’s feeling tense. He probably also likes in when you make him tea to relax (though he wouldn’t admit that one).
Types of kisses: on your knuckles when he holds your hands. On your forehead. More passionate kisses on the lips when you’re alone. You’re his queen/king/precious person, and he definitely treats you like one.
His nicknames for you: kitten, darling, love
Dwayne
He’s a man of few words, who shows his love through his actions.
He’s a very attentive partner, always notices when you’re feeling tired, sad, stressed or anxious. He immediately gives you a questioning look or a soft “are you okay?” and makes sure to make you more comfortable.
Like he lets you play with his hand, caress his palm or fingers when you’re anxious and fidgety and need something to ground yourself with.
He’s also a good listener. He will gladly listen to you complain when you have a bad day, even if he can’t really give any advice.
I feel like he would try to learn as much about you as he could, so he can take better care of you. This obviously includes stuff like your interests or dislikes, but also a lot of small things, for example how you behave when you’re feeling sad or anxious, what are some unconscious habits you do when you’re deep in thought. He stores all this information in the back of his mind so he can use it later.
Like he observes how your eyes light up and your features change when you’re excited or happy about something, remembers what caused you to make that lovely expression and then makes sure to present you with that exact same thing later again and again so he can see you glowing like that again. He surprised you more than once with gifting you little things you briefly mentioned liking or being interested in.
He’s the type of guy who looks out for you all the time when you’re out at the busy boardwalk. He makes sure you’re always in his sight, and if he loses you, he will scan his eyes through the crowd until he finds you. In turn, if you get separated from the guys, your first instinct is to search for him, cause he’s tall and stands out anyway, but also you know he feels calmer when he can see you, even if you’re out of reach. You both feel relieved when you’re eyes finally meet through the gaps between the bodies of other people.
He’s probably more casual about PDA. He will hold your hand, wrap an arm around your shoulder or give you small pecks on the top of your head, on your cheeks or your lips.
He gives the best hugs. I mean he’s a big guy who can envelop you in his arms. When you’re having a bad day, all you have to do is ask for a hug, and you immediately feel better. I imagine that he likes hugging you from behind, pulling you to his broad chest.
Slow and deep kisses are probably his favorite.
His nicknames for you: sweetheart, honey
Paul
He’s very vocal about his love for you, the man is a flirting machine.
He’s also like a lovesick puppy, always excited to see you, always hungry for attention, and starts pouting if you don’t give him enough. He can be a bit needy at times.
Even though he can seem like a dumb blonde to the casual observer, he’s actually more in tune with your emotions than most people think. He can immediately tell when you’re feeling down, even if you try to hide it. You’re emotions also affect him a lot. When you’re sad, he’s also lethargic and does everything in his power to cheer you up, be it taking you out to have fun, staying at home and cuddle or shower you in small kisses until you start giggling.
On the positive side, when you feel happy, he’s absolutely in the clouds, and your giddiness feeds off of each other.
A LOT of PDA. He’s touching you all the time, holding your hand, pulling you into his side, hands on your legs if you sit next to him or in his lap, or quite literally draping himself all over you.
He also likes to use your legs as a pillow. Just imagine him totally high, babbling about random stuff that comes to his mind while laying his head on your lap, you running your hands through his hair.
Also, HIS HAIR. He loves it when you mess with it, doesn’t matter if it’s playing with the strands while listening to the others talk, or tugging on it in bed.
Yes, he’s an absolute manwhore in my humble opinion ;)
He’s definitely a switch in bed. Like he can be a dom and worship you, but he can also definitely be a sub and just fall apart under you, loving every second of it.
Ever since @sunkendreams said they think Paul likes it when you choke him, I can’t stop thinking about it.
I think he would also like it if you kiss his neck, or leave your mark on him by giving him hickeys. He would show off that shit so proud!
Lots if kisses all the time. He wouldn’t start making out with you in the middle of the boardwalk like Marko, but he would pepper small kisses all over your face, pecks on your lips. I feel like he’s the type who randomly starts kissing your neck while you lean on him regardless of the setting.
His nicknames for you: babe, dollface, beautiful
Marko
This guy is a fierce protector who isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty. I mean it’s known that most times he’s the first to jump into action when there’s a fight.
He can be a knight in shining patchwork jacket, but he can also be a little demon with the most angelic face when it comes to show you just how much he loves you.
He protects your honor then when you get back to somewhere private he doesn’t hesitate to absolutely ruin said honor, but in the most pleasurable way imaginable.
I’m sorry, but I’m just obsessed with the thought that he’s an absolute beast in bed.
But I think he’s also such a dork. I can imagine him grabbing your hand and pulling you into a dance in the middle of the boardwalk if he likes the music they play that night. And at the end he dips you back, his hand firmly holding your back, with the widest playful grin on his face, making you break out in giggles. Then he leans down to kiss you on the lips.
He’s not the jealous type, he has absolute confidence in himself and in your loyalty.
He’s big on PDA: holding hands, hand around your waist, probably groping your thighs or butt once or twice. He’s also not shy to kiss you in public. You’ve definitely had a few heated makeout sessions before against the railing of the boardwalk.
I think he also like catcalling you or whistling at you, but only if you’re also comfortable with it.
He basically loves to let everyone know that you’re his gorgeous partner as loudly and as visibly as he can get away with. He would shout his love to you on the top of his lungs if you hadn’t scolded him for it before.
But other than that time, you love it that he’s not shy about showing you his love.
Just like David, he would also definitely like giving you hickeys in very visibly places. I also imagine him to be a bit of a biter during sex, leaving small and harmless ones all over your skin that doesn’t even leave a mark, or ever getting a bit rougher and giving you ones that do. It all depends on what you like.
Cursing in bed in Italian ;)
His nicknames for you: sugar, baby
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saltylandland · 1 year
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Random NSFW Lost Boys Headcanons bc y not
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Some of these are pretty well known and accepted and I’m just regurgitating what I’ve seen a lot, and some of these are my own ideas.
David’s a pleasure dom.
David loves using toys on his partner, will only enjoy it on himself if it’s self inflicted.
I can see David doing ‘daily affirmations’ if you have low self esteem, giving you an orgasm for each affirmation you repeat. (This was definitely from someone else I’ll reblog their post if I can find it)
Dwayne goes feral over thicker girls or any kind of chub really, even if it’s just a little.
Dwayne goes feral over sundresses, he’s smart enough not to assume you wear sundresses just for him, but if he helps you pick out an outfit and he grabs a sundress, you know what’s on his mind.
Marko gets the most kick out of chasing you down before you two fuck.
Sex with Paul while you’re both 🍃
This is a little out there, but I think Paul has a voyeurism/humiliation/degradation streak?
So on one hand, You know how it’s a common trope in the 80s and 90s where teenage boys steal girls underwear? He likes that, the thrill of it, potentially getting caught or purposefully so.
On a more darker side, he likes being degraded for being a creep and pushed around. Like tell him he’s disgusting and to get off while he rearranges your guts. (Consent-fully of course)
If the boys share a s/o or are poly, free use is very quickly brought up. As well as voyeurism in general.
A situation that I thought about would happen pretty often, while you are sitting on someone’s lap, another comes up and starts feeling you up/giving you head. Suddenly it’s like you’re under siege as the person who you are on their lap, hold you down when you squirm as the other goes at it.
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bengiyo · 8 days
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Wandee Goodday Ep 4 Stray Thoughts
Last week, we got to see Dee and Yak getting mutual pleasure from their current arrangement before Wandee got embarrassed at work and decided to lie and say he had a new boyfriend. Dee asked Yak to be his fake boyfriend, but Yak refused on the grounds that they agreed to not get involved in each other's personal lives and also he didn't want to come out as a boxer. Dee ignored this resistance and then tried to trick Yak into spending time with him to get him to agree. Yak, ever the simp, acquiesced after Dee showed vulnerability. Also, we got more insight into Oyei and Cher, learning that Oyei took on debt during COVID, and Cher comes from a wealthy family. The two are a team and I love them.
Whoa are we opening on a nightmare memory?
Okay, I like this moment. If they're going to be friends with benefits, this is definitely a moment when Yak needed a friend.
Drake's tiddies is out. A gift for me and @happypotato48 and @yankeebastard who is here saying "Hey, Daddy."
Yes, Kao, ask that man direct questions. Now, throw Ter into the pool.
Poor Kwan. Ter seems more concerned with Dee than her.
NOT ROOM 666!!! THE DEVIL! This show said "Don't feel sorry for him. Even the Devil can feel a little bad when he got kicked out of heaven."
This show is so good. We cut beautifully to Yoryak enjoying the same offering Dee had given The Devil.
Very invested in these two talking about their crushes between their own tussles.
We got a new sign! "Be Available But Not For Everyone."
Be careful, Dee. Don't fall in love after telling him to practice confessing.
Interesting. I think Cher knows that Yak has plans beyond boxing and this gym. @yankeebastard thinks it might be a promise Yak made to his mom.
Cher is so gentle and careful with Yak. He lets Yak tell him what he needs to say with such sensitive prodding.
Not Yak getting horny listening to Dee exert himself and remembering their hookups.
The editors are doing a great job with the audio cues this week.
Wow, Taem is clearly a leader of Team Tote Bag.
Hold your ankles? Definitely not the first time Yak has been told that, among other things, I'm sure.
Dee, you gotta sort yourself when it comes to Yak.
I love that Oyei is always trying to get Cher in the shower with him.
Kao jumped up quick at the tea, and is so real for wanting to choke Dee out.
Keeping track of these two almost forgetting themselves and kissing. Excellent gay content.
The Devil is back and he is jealous. I hate this man. He meant it before when he said he didn't like men or Dee. Fuck this guy.
The whole gym is judging them and I love it.
Why wear your gym shirts if you don't want to be seen?
Oyei and Cher judging them together is so important to me.
Very smooth of Cher to just talk them out of the conversation about the parents.
David was correct about the mom.
Yes, scratch his back. I love the use of metaphor on this show.
Poor Kwan. I'm glad she can see through Ter.
I love Kao. Tell your friend is he embarrassing both of you.
Kao said try out my new line of products
Yoryak thought he was outside of the MySpace top 8 and got his feelings hurt.
I really liked the way they handled this HPV PSA. Good job, BL.
That was a solid episode. I like that they're tackling the blurring of the lines in the relationship explicitly, and I like that Dee recognizes that he's jealous. It's interesting having The Devil call out the relationship as fake and be right and wrong. I wanna think about the parents for a bit, because Cher checking that Oyei was okay with Yoryak felt pointed.
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ingravinoveritas · 6 months
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New DW video diary from Georgia, and David once again cannot shut up about Michael...
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HOLY FUCKING SHIT HAZBIN WAS SO FUCKING GOOD IM GOING INSANE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKENFKCMKWJRKFNSMSMDMSMDN-
Okay. Okay deep breaths. Time for some cool and collected comentary. Okay.
Putting it under the cut so ppl can avoid spoilers :)
HUSK USED TO BE AN OVERLORD!?!?!?!?!? HELLO!?!?!?!?!? FUCKIN PLOTTWIST OF THE CENTURY WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?
Huskerdust my beloved
SIR PENTIOUS MY BELOVED
Vox was great. I love him he's so fucking cool-
If Vox wasn't already a Tumblr sexyman he's definitely gonna be one now. He's so fucking Onceler coded it's insane.
Velvette was amazing too. It's so funny that she's British lmao I was not expecting that
Velvette is also very Anne Boelyne(like from SIX not from Real Life) coded it's wild. Her part in that song with Carmila was giving so much Don't Lose Your Head
I swear I'll stop comparing them to other characters I SWEAR
Okay but me and my brother are working on a Hazbin Hotel swap AU where we swap the main cast with the overlords and in that AU we swapped Husk and Vox. The Husk used to be an overlord reveal is gonna make that AU soooooo much easier lmao
ADAM IS REALLY GOOD I promised I would stop comparing to other characters but he was giving SO MUCH Hades from Disney's Hercules like its insane
I think we should let Alex Brightman sing rocj and roll more often that song was such a fucking BANGER
SPEAKING OF THE SONGS- oh my god I love the soundtrack so fucking much-
Stayed Gone was a lil less hype then I was expecting but thats okay cuz it was still a banger and I loved the visuals
That song battle between Carmilla and Velvette????? Oh my god??????
Carmilla and Vaggie's song was also amazing but I think I know why they didn't have Stephanie Beatriz sing her own song in Elena of Avalor y'know, girl cannot hold a character voice while singing
LOSER WAS SO FUCKING GOOD- I love Huskerdust so much. I love Keith David so much. Blake Roman is such a phenomenal Angel Dust.
SPEAKING OF all the voice actors are amazing. Blake Roman, Brightman as Pentious and Joel Perez were the ones I was the most worried abt but I loved all their preformances so much it was fucking fantastic
Valentino can go die in a fucking hole <3
The other Vees are cool and fun to watch but I hope Valentino fucking dies
Okay to be fair he's also fun to watch when he's not in the same room as Angel Dust but tHAT DOESNT SUPERSEID MY HATRED FUCK 👏 THAT 👏 GUY 👏👏👏👏
Speaking of the Vees tho I do love their dynamic
My favorite episode was probably Radio Killed the Video Star bcuz of mY BOYS PENTIOUS AND VOX!!!!!!!!
And the most painful episode to watch was- no surprise- Masquerade
That episode was a fucking rollercoaster Jesus fucking Christ...
Those scenes with Angel and Valentino where so fucking visceral... like. Who the fuck wrote that. Who are you. Are you okay. Do you need help-
Tho I'm not sure abt how they're handling the ah- more serious bits of Angel's character. It is WAYYYYYY to early to tell and I think Loser wasn't like. Trying to downplay the situation. But the writers better have been careful moving foreward bcuz I can def see a world where Angel's arc goes very wrong very fast-
Also while we're criticizing: wasn't a fan of the pacing. Especially in episode two. Like I can look past it, but the way they breeze past some plot points kinda bugged me
Otherwise it was sooooooo fucking good man oh my god
THE HUMOR WAS SO MUCH BETTER THAN PPL MAKE IT OUT TO BEEEEEE PPL NEED TO STOP SHITTING ON THE COMEDY IN THESE SHOWS MAN-
The gag where Niffty just fucking stopped thinking every time the camera turned on was so fucking good
Niffty in general was really fuckin funny
Alastor was a lot less prominent of a character then I thought he would be but tbh I think that's for the best. He's like Discord from My Little Pony, fun in small doses but if you don't set perameters for how often he appears and when he's willing to help it kinda breaks the show
Chaggie is adorable and I love them <3
I think this show does a really good job balancing the focus on the whole cast! These first 4 episodes seem to be pretty Charlie, Angel and kind of Vaggie heavy but everybody still gets their fair share of attention!
THE ANIMATIOJ OH MY GOD- IT WAS FUCKING PHENOMENAL IM LOSING MY M I N D
Im going feral IM GOING FERAL THIS EXCEEDED MY EXPECTATIONS AKFNVKKENFEKFNDN
I love comedy. I love musicals. I love drama. I love silly characters. I LOVE ANIMATION!!!!!!!
It's like the South Park movie but longer and better animated and IVE BEEN WAITING FOUR FUCKING YEARS-
Just. So excited overall. Can't wait to see where it goes. May make more posts abt my thoughts in tbe future.
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dwobbitfromtheshire · 7 months
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Bisexual. Bisexual. Bisexual. Bisexual!
It was the only word that was now bouncing around in Eddie Munson's brain. Steve had come out several minutes ago along with Robin, and they had long since moved on to playing Rocky Horror Picture show. The characters danced around in front of him, along with the word bouncing around in his head, in time with the music. Steve was saying how hot Tim Curry was, and suddenly Eddie imagined putting on the outfit himself. He imagined Steve saying that about him as he ran his hand up his thigh. Eddie shrieked.
"Pause! I have to make a phone call!" Eddie exclaimed, jumping up.
It was like all the lights in his head turned on, and there was this little man standing standing next to a projector as he showed Eddie all of the things that he had suppressed.
"Are you okay, Eddie?" Steve asked.
"Yeah, can I use your phone?" Eddie exclaimed.
"Sure, man," Steve said.
Eddie rushed into the kitchen and grabbed the phone. He dialed the familiar number pretty quickly and waited impatiently as the phone rang. A few rings later, and Ronnie answered the phone.
"Hey, Ronnie," Eddie said.
"What did you do now? Your voice sounds pretty high," Ronnie said.
"Nothing, Jesus," Eddie said rolling his eyes.
"You haven't been accused of murder again, have you?" Ronnie asked.
"No!" Eddie exclaimed.
"Yeah, you still haven't told me exactly what happened," Ronnie said.
"And I'm still not going to," Eddie sighed. "This isn't why I called. Do you know David Bowie?"
"Do I know him personally? No," Ronnie said. "Do I know of him? Yes."
"Ugh, you sarcastic shit. I think I'm like Bowie," Eddie said and groaned. "Ugh, I had that word in my head, but I think it fell out. . . Bisexual! Yes, that."
"Oh. Wow," Ronnie said and paused. "Would it annoy you to know that I kind of already figured that out a long time ago?"
"What? How?!" He asked.
"Oh, you were obvious even if you didn't know that you were being obvious," she said.
"Well, you could have given me a heads up, Ronnie," Eddie said.
"Oh, yeah, no. This was something that you needed to figure out for yourself," she said, and she paused. "Thanks for telling me."
"You're my best friend, Ronnie. You should be the first one to know about anything big like that," Eddie said. "Which apparently you already knew about."
"And yet, I still don't know what happened over spring break," she said. "Which is fine. By the way, even if I didn't know before I left, I would have known immediately when you made the call from the hospital and ranted about Steve Harrington's strong arms."
"Jesus, don't remind me," Eddie blushed. "I was high on pain meds."
"By the way, when I called before, it was Steve who answered. I like him. I approve of you and him raising that orphaned child together," Ronnie said. "He wouldn't shut up about you or what you're like with that kid. Jesus, why didn't you tell me you adopted a child with a man?"
"His name is Dustin, and he has a mom," Eddie rolled his eyes.
"I definitely like him better than Paige," Ronnie said.
"Would you give it a rest about Paige?" Eddie rolled his eyes.
"I still don't think she ever had a deal in place to begin with. You would have gone to LA, and there would have been no audition," Ronnie said.
"I'm hanging up now," Eddie sighed, the corners of his mouth lifted up.
"Good luck," Ronnie said, and Eddie hung up the phone.
Eddie walked into back into the living room where Steve and Robin were whispering amongst themselves.
"Everything alright?" Steve asked as Eddie sat back on the couch.
"Yeah, apparently I'm bisexual and I've always been like that. I just didn't know it," Eddie shrugged.
"What? Are you telling me you just had a crisis? Did you just go double-check?" Steve asked.
"Yeah, a little crisis, but I'm good now," Eddie said. "I called Ronnie."
"Ronnie?" Robin asked.
"Eddie's Robin," Steve explained.
"You have a Robin?" She asked.
"No, a Ronnie," Eddie corrected, and she rolled her eyes.
"So, you realized it just a few minutes ago?" Steve asked as he leaned over Robin.
"Yeah, after you guys came out, then when Tim Curry came on and then again when you called him hot. All I kept thinking about was how I wished you were calling me hot," Eddie rolled his eyes.
"Time for us to switch places," Robin grinned.
Steve and Robin swapped, so now Steve was sitting close to Eddie. He put his arm on the couch behind Eddie.
"Eddie," Steve said softly, and Eddie turned to face him. "You are very hot. Hotter than Tim Curry. You would look absolutely sinful in that outfit."
He leaned forward and kissed Eddie gently. Eddie kissed him back before Steve broke the kiss. He leaned back against the couch and pulled Eddie against his side, wrapping his arm around his shoulders.
"If Vickie wasn't working tonight, then this could be a double date," Robin said.
"Next time," Eddie grinned.
"Welcome to the club, Eddie," Robin said.
"Thanks," Eddie said softly.
Eddie relaxed into Steve’s arms, turning sideways and burrowing his head into Steve’s neck while throwing his arm across his stomach. The puzzle that was his life felt a little more complete now.
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nightcolorz · 7 months
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Armand surgical malpractice meta (spoilers for TVA)
It’s, at least from what I’ve seen, a pretty popularly agreed upon conception that Armand’s mutation of Claudia b4 her death as described in TVA didn’t actually happen..partly bcus it’s such a drastic and grotesque retcon from her death in interview with the vampire so lots of ppl don’t want to address it as canon, and partly bcus it’s so bizarre and seemingly unprompted in context that it just seems more plausible that Armand would make this up as some sort of twisted shock value rather then actually do it. I used to buy into this theory and never rlly thought about it beyond that, and today for the first time I thought about it deeply and realized. Damn I rlly disagree! I think that Armand 100% canonically chopped Claudia’s head off and sewed it onto an adult body. I believe it happened as told. And I have many reasons !
First and foremost I don’t think that Armand is actually capable of lying so deliberately in this context. Interpreting most tvc narrators as potentially lying to our faces and intentionally twisting events to suit a narrative and a purpose of dictating our perception of them is, I think, accurate and justified, and smth I love about this fandom. Everyone is not to be trusted 100%, especially Louis and Lestat, who are said and implied many times to have completely fabricated some events in the books for the sake of painting a picture. Tvc serve as this over arching plot about multiple conflicting characters manipulating events of their lives to suit a narrative that we as the audience can pick apart and discover the truth within. Very much “this bitch said WHAT about me?? that dumb cunt is always spreading lies smh, it actually happened LIKE THIS” (they r both not telling the full truth). Armand however is very much an outlier here, and it’s part of what makes TVA so unique as a chronicle. It’s a big part of his character throughout the series, in TVA and leading up to TVA, that Armand’s way of thinking is so dysfunctional and his memory is so flawed (bcus of all his trauma) (and neurodivergence) (imo) that he isn’t able to fully conceptualize the events of his life as chronological and meaningful in the way that one would need to do to be able to write a memoir.
He can’t describe events in broad strokes, or wrap his head around a vast emotional impact in a way that is explanatory or intentional. Think of that conversation he has with Daniel in queen of the damned, where he explains that he isn’t capable of telling Daniel what his life in the past “was like” because that’s a concept incomprehensible to him. He only knows what happened, not what it was like, not how it affected him or how it shaped his personhood, what it means etc. It’s a form of dissociation almost. The vampire armand is the first time in Armand’s vampiric life that he self reflects beyond acknowledging events and his emotions in that moment, it’s the first time he attempts to make connections and understand himself in a way that is narrative and structured and not fragmented bits of history and A names. Part of this requires further dissociation. I definitely get the impression that since Armand is being so vulnerable in a way he is so unused to, yet is so significant, he is unable to register while he’s talking that not only David, but millions of people including every vampire in the world, will know what he says. He’s just laying himself completely bare, he’s talking and talking and only once he finishes realizes oh. Oh. everyone’s going to read this huh. It’s so cathartic he doesn’t consider that in the moment. It’s the first time he’s ever been capable of reckoning with his life in a self reflective way, of looking at it and explaining it and reasoning with it, structuring it in order, not fragments, etc, seeing the cause and the impact and touching on an overall conclusion (tho he never entirely gets there). These baby steps are so difficult for him already, and considering this part of his character I really think it’s a stretch to say that Armand would be capable of the thought process in his book of pure venting to go “maybe I should twist the truth here or change this or add this or lie about this so people will think of me this way or so Lestat can see this, etc” TVA is unreliable, more so bcus of how mentally ill armand is and how little he understands his own life and emotions, but not deliberately like iwtv and tvl. Armand even says that the book was for Benji and Sybelle, but it’s so unfiltered and horrific and vent-like that this sounds ridiculous. He doesn’t even have his stated audience in mind while he’s telling his story, let alone his broader audience. The audience was a complete afterthought, a barely registered consequence. So why would he lie about Claudia? How would he be capable?
it’s another common piece of conversation around this part of TVA where we go, Armand discusses how he never would want to tell this to Louis bcus he knows how badly it would hurt him, so why did he describe it so graphically? Well, cause of all I mentioned. It seems pretty clear to me that armand is almost haunted by the affair with Claudia, and he has no way of lying about this, so his descriptions seemed very much to me like a desperate bit of venting. He has never told anyone how horrific it actually was and it’s always been in his mind, so he just lets it all out. Makes sense, but the broader question is, if Armand wasn’t lying…why did he do that at all?? This I think is so interesting.
To understand this I had to think a lot about Armand’s motivations for killing Claudia at all, which is well, simply, revenge against Lestat and claiming of Louis without barriers. If Claudia dies Lestat will be sad and Louis will be mine and mine alone 👍👍 etc. but Claudia’s mutation was not rooted in either of these motivations, which is part of why it’s so shocking. He didn’t do it to hurt Lestat, lestat never found out. It just seems so odd and unprompted. But once I thought more about why Armand hates Lestat, and why he wants to hurt him by killing Claudia, it started to fit into place. Armand’s hatred for Lestat is rooted very much in his twisted resemblance to Marius that he perceives as being very strong and basically mocking. When he first sees Lestat in tvl he’s repulsed by him instantly bcus he sees him as this parody of Marius, this beautiful blonde man in striking red robes who boldly and carelessly defies the laws of vampires established by the children of Satan as if they are meaningless to him, revels in the indulgent world of humans like he belongs there, shamelessly as armand devotes himself to miserable repression. It strikes a nerve for armand, feels very personally offensive to him, like the embodiment of the traits that got Marius’s destroyed r coming back to mock him in his face. And then as he gets to know Lestat more deeply he only hates him more, bcus Lestat is not only bold and careless, but he’s immature and stupid, and he knows nothing. Armand in his horribly traumatized mind set registers Lestat as “like Marius” and takes this to mean “maybe he can save me, maybe he will teach me and free me from this hell, guide me and give me the purpose I need to be given.” But Lestat does not do this, lmfao. He actually destroys any sense of purpose armand had, rips him from his safety net, and when Armand begs for guidance, asks to be allowed to travel alongside Lestat so he can learn to be a person again, Lestat denies him. The only purpose he bothers to give him is the scraps, symbolic of his perverse indulgence that Armand despises, and fucks off. Lestat is grotesquely reminiscent of Marius, in the worst ways. It’s like his presence alone opens Armand’s eyes to how badly Marius has ruined him. He was the sun, the purpose, the guiding light, and then it was ripped away, and there was nothing else without him. Just a void.
So Armand hates Lestat for this very personal mockery of his own plight, and this hatred spirals into unbridled rage when Lestat returns to him and expects Armand to give Lestat the assistance that he denied him. Not only this, but Lestat found Marius, found marius and was granted guidance and love that Marius refused to give Armand after his indoctrination into the children of Satan. And Marius told Lestat to never ever do what he did, never make an Armand, because Armand was a mistake, he was too young to be a vampire, and now he’s a mistake he will never forgive himself for. And with this immense privilege that Armand spent a huge chunk of his life yearning for, guidance from Marius when he was his most lost, Lestat decides to disregard it. He decides that since Marius said it was bad to turn a child as young as Armand, he’d turn a child even younger then Armand, just cuz. He is once again the embodiment of Marius’s sins, the grotesque parody. Marius turned a teenager, Lestat turns a five year old. It’s almost cruel in how mocking it is, almost intentional in how personal. So Claudia is this child, this deliberate mistake made by someone who knew her turning would be harmful to her but was selfish enough not to care, then went on to regret it when he has to reckon with the consequences. Seem familiar? Armand sure thought so. So I imagine that being alone with Claudia, looking this deeply sad reflection of his own agony in the eyes, knowing she is about to die for justice against a warped parody of his Maker, for the sake of punishment for her own existence, I imagine this struck a cord of insanity in Armand’s fucked up mind, caused him to loose his absolute shit for just long enough to go what if I can fix her, what if I can turn this narrative around, give her the remarkable ending I know deep down that she, I , will never be granted. What if I can give her a body that will reflect her mind? What if I can make this abomination into a miracle? No wonder he pulled out the surgical tools 😭 No wonder he was so horrified by his own actions when he came to his senses, no wonder he refused to share this, kept it to himself for so long, until he finally broke and confessed it all in a desperate moment when he was too caught up in the dam breaking to realize he’d be exposing this horrific action to the world.
Armand sees Claudia as a repulsive mistake that should’ve never existed made by Lestat to deliberately mock him up until the surgery, when then for only a moment lost to time ended in blood she is another child who had her life taken from her too soon by an egotistical blonde man who thought he could play god with someone’s life. “They were done for anyway, he was going to starve to death in a brothel, she was going to die as a street orphan, the blood would be a service to them, a chance they never had” But they both know that’s a lie they tell themselves to justify the act of taking a child and molding it into what they please for fun, for pleasure, for companionship, just to see what would happen. Armand sees this for a moment and wants to give her a chance, give them both a chance, wants to see her as an adult, as someone who could have a life. And then of course, we know how that turns out 😭
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