#literally only me and caro will find this funny
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fuck it we ball-dur's gate 3
#tay.txt#baldur's gate 3#baldurs gate 3#bg3#literally only me and caro will find this funny#CAN I GET AN AMEN IN CHAT?
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Caro's August Book Rec Wrapup
Books! I read a lot of them in August, as I read a lot of them in basically every month because wow life is life.
I really loved beginning (still have two books left!) Kristen Callihan's Darkest London series. It was all the Gothic romance + paranormal + historical romance trends + hot sex shit I want out of historical paranormals. I also knocked out two great queer ARCs, Fly with Me by Andie Burke and A Nobleman's Guide to Seducing a Scoundrel by KJ Charles. And I conquered a classic. Check out the recs!
Firelight by Kristen Callihan.
I love historical romance. I love paranormal romance. So it's no surprise that I love both; but I really can't emphasize how excited I am about this series. It's a bit dark, a lot adventurous, and lushly romantic with a solid dose of angst. You have a tortured hero who ruined himself in pursuit of immortality, the innocent but bold heroine he can't resist (who has a big secret of her own) and this really Gothic vibe that I find irresistible. I am. Obsessed.
Moonglow by Kristen Callihan.
Although I do think they definitely benefit from being read in order, the Darkest London series can technically be read as standalones. I'm so super impressed by this series, and Moonglow is such a standout. Even stronger than the first book, it's funny and hot and heartbreaking. You're basically pairing the two slutty, slutty side characters from the previous book, bringing in some werewolf politics and trauma (and an extremely hot carriage scene) and topping it off with some of the most romantic shit I've ever read. Such a good werewolf book. Such a good romance novel. I was riveted, and I was surprised by some of the bold swings this book took. An absolute banger.
Baron by Joanna Shupe.
One of the funnier, sexier "rich upper crust man can't believe he's falling in love with a poor" books I've read. Will Sloane is in fact... kind of the worst, but in a way that's both sexy and endearing. And I really appreciated that, as a heroine, Ava was undeniably susceptible to his charms--but very aware of her personal responsibilities, and self-respecting enough to take control of the situation. Also, love the backdrop of the medium frenzy in Gilded Age America.
Winterblaze by Kristen Callihan.
My new favorite marriage in trouble book, made all the better by the fact that there's like... a Rumplestiltskin issue involved? here, we have a very hardcore, very mercenary heroine and the man she's been married to for fourteen fucking years and really had no idea what was going on in her personal life. They love each other deeply; and their love is deeply complicated. He withholds himself out of anger, and then loses his shit when she wears a pink dress because the pink of the gown against the red of her hair reminds him of her vagina, and he sure does lOVE that vagina. It's amazing and I severely recommend it.
Shadowdance by Kristen Callihan.
This series is nothing but winners; and this book takes a darker turn, as, heads up, both the hero and heroine are survivors of sexual assault, among other things. He's hard-edged and determined to protect her from The Truth, which makes him quite a bit of a dick, and she's secretive and cool and remote, but also desperate to Know him. It's an angsty, at points difficult read, but still quite impressive.
Evernight by Kristen Callihan.
A demon man is turned into a mech-type atrocity by a woman who was forced to act, and is now bound to said woman because her touch is very literally the only thing that soothes his mind and body. Fucking amazing premise and she follows through. Will calling Holly "My Evernight"? Lol I'm fucking gone. Ill-advised sex, cage fight adventures, orgasmic biting, an incredibly tense last 25% or so where I was near tears because how will they work this shit out??? Yes yes yes.
In Which Margo Halifax Earns Her Scandalous Reputation by Alexandra Vasti.
A fabulously funny and sexy debut novella which you can get for free (along with the other Halifax novellas) on Alexandra's website! The thing I love about Margot is that she is kind of in a state of arrested development, which is rare to find in heroines, especially historical heroines. Like, she should be progressing a lot faster than she is. She needs to grow the fuck up; but she doesn't quite know how. It's honestly a pretty affirming messy girl book in that sense. But it also perfectly encapsulates not only how important pacing is in a romance, but the aching, pining yearning of a good brother's best friend book. Henry wants this crazy bitch so bad. It's glorious. God bless him.
In Which Matilda Halifax Learns the Value of Restraint by Alexandra Vasti.
Controversial but brave--this one may have worked for me even more. Which, shocker, I prefer the one with the (light) BDSM and the grumpy older hero. But the romance had me sold as soon as it became clear that Matilda is a Secret Freak and this older gentleman is soooo into it and sooooooo guilty about that. The terse note exchanges, the play, the cat shenanigans, Matilda hiding out at this scary man's big house. Just. Loved it. So much.
Salt in the Wound by Sierra Simone.
This prequel novella to Sierra's upcoming Lyonesse trilogy should be required reading before said trilogy. It's rich, it's dark, it's intensely erotic, and it establishes a fascinating push-pull between the kind of calculating and kind of innocent Isolde and the threatening, but alluring man she's being forced to marry. Mark is... a fucking lot. And in a lot of ways I think this book is a good intro to Sierra's ouvre, because it's on the shorter side, it's very much entrenched in her world, and it's a little taboo but nothing compared to say, her Thornchapel series. It's extremely hot, extremely angsty, and I can't wait for the rest of the series.
Snow Place Like L.A. by Sierra Simone and Julie Murphy.
I really like these Christmas Notch books. They're so cute and, even when they aren't super Christmassy like this one, weirdly festive. The kind of romcoms I enjoy, where much sex is had and the vibe is cheery but emotional. This is a m/m second chance novella, with a very good bathtub scene, much love for romcom excellence, and a satisfying conclusion in every sense.
Fly with Me by Andie Burke. ARC; read my full review here.
Kiss of Steel by Bec McMaster.
McMaster creates a really interesting paranormal-steampunk world, where there are monsters everywhere and a social structure curving around them. I really enjoy a "heroine sells her soul to scary hero to save her family but then it turns out he's like, obsessed with her" setup, which is what this book has. There's vampiric eroticism, a hero with a cockney accent named BLADE who actually is extremely soft for the heroine (except not where it counts). It's very solid.
Heart of Iron by Bec McMaster.
In some ways I liked this one more than Kiss of Steel, because the hero is a vIRGINAL WEREWOLF BODYGUARD and the heroine is a flirty debutante type who's in way over her head. It's a great clash of uptight man x flighty girl, and there's a lot of tension because... the werewolf virus can be spread through sex, and if she gets the virus she probably won't survive. So they can't have sex. But they really want to have sex (and there is a great scene where they get creative). A great setup, love werewolf STIs.
A Nobleman's Guide to Seducing A Scoundrel by KJ Charles. ARC; read my full review here.
Knockout by Sarah MacLean.
My favorite Hell's Belles book yet, because Tommy Peck can absolutely not handle this whirlwind of a woman who literally blows up his life. While there is a plot arc and all that, this book is very focused on the romance and character development, which I love. Imogen is such an amazing heroine, and Tommy fully rises to the occasion (in every sense). I also really love the scene where he has to suck on her tits in front of people ("has to") because they're pretending to be a sex worker and a john, bye.
In Which Winnie Halifax is Utterly Ruined by Alexandra Vasti.
The Halifax brother gets his book, and he is! Hot! This is a "I didn't know I had a wife" book, which I love, and the heroine is a sheep farmer? How fun. Because Winnie isn't quite as fucking balls out insane as Margo or Matilda, I think this is probably my least favorite of the trilogy, but it's still really fucking good. Our hero is both sweet and hot, a difficult combination, and he's younger than her? SCANDALE! Lovely, romantic, so good.
Scandalous Passions by Nicola Davidson.
A quick, super hot Tudor-era FFM menage romance with a sizable helping of femdom. One heroine is a domineering, sexually liberated widow who used to be the king's mistress and is now being booted from court by his wife; the other is a shy but curious virgin who's been locked in a convent all her life. Their escort? A big dangerous knight guy who's actually a FUCKING SWEETHEART and doesn't want to talk a lot because of his stutter. Which. My fucking heart. Lachlan. He got me immediately, and his relationship with Janet and Marjorie was kind of incredible. They all fall in love with each other, to be clear, and it's both super sexy and remarkably pure. I loved it.
Two Wrongs Make a Right by Chloe Liese.
This is one of those fake dating contemporary setups which is objectively insane, but it's a retelling of Much Ado About Nothing so it's fine I'm good with it. Adding to the story is a hero whose tenseness is actually anxiety, and a heroine on the spectrum with sensory issues. It's quite sweet and the writing has a brisk, refreshing tone I liked a lot. The last quarter or so does have a contrivance I wasn't a fan of, but I still came away from the book really liking it, which is difficult for me with normal contemporaries.
Flowers from the Storm by Laura Kinsale.
I've loved every one of the three Kinsale books I've read (and I'm taking it slow... she only has about a dozen books out and doesn't seem to write anymore) and while Shadowheart remains my favorite... Holy shit, this is so good. A masterpiece. Beautifully written, gorgeously romantic, hot in a unique way I can't even get into... (Suffice to say, if you have a thing for when a religious heroine is corrupted~ by a slutty slutty man, you'll like this.) It's everything people hyped it up to be and more.
Give the Devil His Duke by Anna Bradley.
I went into this with no concept of Bradley or her work, and it was so good! Not super complex in terms of plot, but with enough heft to make it matter. Funny, sexy, and it sold the rake hero who has his big Clueless "I'M BUTT CRAZY IN LOVE WITH JOSH [FRANCESCA]" moment only after he basically pitches himself to the floor begging her to stay with him. I had a very good time, and I'm happy to have found a new author.
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Kou: What? You don't…have chocolate for me this year? Can I ask why?
>I heard that you can't give foxes chocolate.
LOSING MY MIND CUZ 1) <-person who literally sent that question (but seriously) to venom IM GONNNAAAAAAAA 2) captain bullying a 12yo AGAIN is so fkng funny to me. but also kou who at this point is ssooo honest.......no wonder he's getting teased LOL him & you are both so cute
Caro: Whether you're an artist or not, it's important to nurture your heart.
m...mahoyaku......
Lu Woh: Even more so if the purpose of such practice is meant for one who has piqued your interest for reproduction. I repeat—I am one of the Six Dragons.
THIS ONE MADE ME LOSE IT. LIKE FIRST HES ALL 'we 6 dragons dont need stuff like food etc to survive this is wasted provisions' THEN HE SAID THIS AND IMMMMMMMMMMMMM LMFAAOOOOOO would u like to speak with helel ben shalem about the bees and the flowers i think itd be hilarious af & hell for captain. lu woh who was too honest about vyrn to the point of pissing of captain (rare moment) to lu woh who says this i dont think i can do this anymore chat
Ragazzo: Wha? Ch-chocolate? For me? Ah… Well, I mean, it's not like I didn't notice your feelings for me or anything— Huh? You're…handing them out to everybody? R-right, yeah, I knew that. Yep. In other words, you're giving chocolate to all the crew members as a token of friendship. Thanks. I appreciate it.
ragazzo playing tough only to be hit with the 'actually i give everyone' IS SSOOOOO FUNNYYYYYY LOLLLLL GOD let this turn into captain teasing him every year. i need terrible pranks. i miss captain & seofon 'u give/get chocolate to/from other ppl?:(' shenanigans (pls read seofons vday & white days, comedy deluxe). that but onesided, considering ragazzo......
Freyr: I see. So you slipped off a cliff while trying to pick that fruit. That was rather reckless of you in such poor weather.
fullkawa honpo's alice mention !!!!!!! (its not)
Balurga: What? Your hand slipped because you were tired from staying up all night making chocolate?
Skull: You stayed up? After spending the past couple days busy with requests? That means you've barely slept at all… Do you got chocolate for brains? Go to bed, right now! I'll tuck you in and sing you a lullaby if I have to!
Balurga: Can't believe I'm saying this, but Skull's got the right idea. You don't gotta push yourself like that! Huh? You wanted to make chocolates for us that badly… Thanks for caring, but… I'd rather not have chocolate with your blood, sweat, and tears in it.
out of all of the new ones ive read so far this is the sweetest captain-wise,,,like...u absolute fool (endearing). also skull & balurga being so ????? go to BED!!!!!!!!! about it is something i rly like too. excellent. glad to see units & characters i rly like get seasonals i rly like
Lobelia: Let's make this a day to remember. Je t'aime, Captain.
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Utsusemi: I know that this emotion can bring no joy to a courtesan, but I can't bring myself to throw it away. Therefore… I would leave it in your care. This savage, fiery emotion… You will find it in this box. If you doubt me, then witness it with your own eyes.
Captain opens the box as if in a trance, only to let out a short cry when a spring propels something out of it at high speed.
Utsusemi: He… Hehe… Hahaha! Well that was a cute reaction indeed! To think that a jack-in-the-box would be so effective…
KBJAFBJKADBJKAD PLEEEEAASSEEEEE BE PRANKING VDAY/WHITE DAY BUDDIES PLLEEASEE PLEEASEE CYGAMES I NEED THIS SO BAD...NOT THE JUMPSCARE...i need to read her fate eps shes growing on me sm just from the seasonals
Meg: Ehehe. Truth be told, Mari, the one I gave you has special ingredients and is different from the rest. I hope you like it.
Mari: (Wow, you were so upfront about that, it may as well have been a wedding proposal!)
me when i read mhyk
Meg: By the way, Mari, did you happen to have any chocolate for Captain?
Mari: Mm-hm, sure do. Here you go, Captain. A little thank-you for all you do for us.
With all the delight of the proud victor of an imagined love triangle, Mari places a miniscule piece of chocolate on Captain's pinky.
LNKADNKLADNKLADNKLADNKLADNKLADNKLDNKLA?!?!?!?!?!?! MARI...CMON....................i actually was surprised she had choco for captain THEN SHE HIT ME WITH THAAAATTT................I KNOW U LOVE MEG BUT...........god im so thankful for the megmari unit. mari is excellent. the seasonal where shes like 'ill make sure the kitchen width is just right so our shoulders brush when we cook' ??????? u r my favorite person. also when mari thought deliford was in love with sandal. lord. u need to be in every single event
Cosmos: Thought one thing Satyr said remains a mystery to me. She mentioned that skydwellers "put their love" into the chocolate. I followed her instructions to whisper my feelings to the chocolate while making a heart shape with my hands. But I remain uncertain as to whether that affected the flavor.
WHAT IS SATYR TEACHING EVERYONEEEEEEEEEEE
#stardust speaking !#i have the year5-year2 left of the girlies so ill return at a l8r time..<3#gran (with malice): i heard u cant give foxes chocolate#akira (with concern): (can erunes eat chocolate....?)#also grimnirs are always so funny. the only guy who doesnt die from embarrassment when captain goes 'say 'aah' :]'#stan&alizas are a delight too...............
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🍓 mwahhh 🥺💙💛
rahulllll i could compliment you all day long lbr..... you're kind and lovely and funny and smart and make the stupidest best funniest shitposts but also always have very interesting things to say about whatever it is you're passionate about, spurs, football in general, skz, eden, music in general, movies, politics, you name it. also, weird compliment maybe, but you have great taste in comfort media. i mean merlin ? thupparivaalan ? 2 fathers ? reply 1988 ? does the cl semi count i say it does so that too ? just great taste. but also in general. i love how passionate you are about spurs, how loyal you are, both in 'sillier' things like football and in 'more important' things like friendship. you're one of the strongest people i know, for real, life can be rough but you always go on, always find a way to keep moving and remain as positive as possible and i admire that so so much! you're so talented like what can't you do?? amazing writer, fantastic gifmaker, great at giving advice and comfort and support, so good at languages, knows how to rap, can survive angry cows (it was cows right?) ETC ETC likeeee. sorry, you asked for compliments, i have so many things to compliment you for cause you're just incredible like that. literally my best friend and sometimes i still am so amazed that *i* could be your best friend too if i still am bc like you're so wonderful i don't. know how little old loser me could ""compare"". but anyway back to compliments DID I EVER TELL YOU that i love the way you use emojis and reaction images/gifs i mean i think you know i tend to 'adopt' your emoji use bc it rubs off on me but it's also just that i find the emojis you choose and how you use them soo funny and also genuinely endearing. also how do you always find the best reaction gifs. that klopp gif you sent me the other day (was it yday ??) killed me dead i swear i was somehow simultaneously speechless and rolling on the floor laughing. am i rambling, yes, well, i don't want to end this ask bc. I Love You So Much and it's been almosttttttttt (🤏🤏) exactly FOUR years of our friendship and it seems so crazy cause it feels like it's been a lifetime, you know? like i can't believe sometimes that we didn't grow up together? that we've never seen each other irl? hanged out at a café? watch football live? went to the cinema together? like all that stuff. like obviously i Can believe it bc i wish we had sooo much but unfortunately we haven't but like i Can't believe it bc it seems like we've been friends forever? like we've been through everything together? and we HAVE been through a lot tgt. but yeah. crazy. only 4 years. but at the same time ALREADY 4 years? do you get me. idk man. i just really think you're one of the best people i know, and have ever known, and one of the most dearest people in my life and i can't imagine that ever ending even if sometimes i get scared we're gonna lose touch or idk disappear suddenly or stuff that often happens with online friends. but well, right now, we're still... us? rico 4ever and all that. i miss talking to you a lot every day but 2024 has been. A Year. and in the end we're still in each other's life and i think, more than anything, that's what i wish to never stop. we gotta be rico 4ever 4ever you know man? do i sound drunk. i'm not. i swear! lmao sorry but yeah you're just. rahul. my caro. and i couldn't ask for a better friend to be by my side through thick and thin 💛💙
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SuperM as Boyfriends Headcanon
↪ caro’s note. extra long version because i miss ‘em. best boys, they’re all bf material to the moon and back ♡
5k words | bullet points
○ warnings ⚠️ 18+, dom/sub play, shibari, female reader, grinding, poly mentions, threesomes, face-sitting, femdom & vanilla, smut and fluff
⌈ ten
— motto: they won’t underestimate me for long.
most of your social environment is gonna be confused by ten at the beginning
and don’t really get what he’s all about
or think he’s like whatever, some random guy in a tank top
acting peculiar
finding him kind of hard to gauge
some of your family and relatives might even think he’s totally unusual and a sneaky fuckboy making you mad
they seriously wonder what you see in him
down the line that perception has turned by 180 degrees
as it should
ten becomes more irreplaceable, relatable, beautiful, perfect and impressive the more you know him
he’s not as mysterious and impossibly badass as everyone assumes
his personality is very approachable to you
and you find him interesting in every aspect, looks to hobbies to background to personal habits
and also opinions because ten is a guy who really thinks stuff through
so you gotta be roughly on the same wavelength
he likes discussing controversial and complicated stuff a lot for sure
being far wiser than his age suggests
you are the first to share those things with him until the rest of the world catches up to this gem of a person
spending so much time with you
in the most personal way he can
he takes you to see the floating markets in bangkok, you spend the summer in thailand
wakeboarding and playing badminton
his entire family knows you inside out at some point this shit is serious
it’s very important to him to go back to the roots every now and then
and that you have been around his home city as well
getting to enjoy the area and time together eating the most savory delicacies
renting a boat and paddling you around to the important spots, he can explain any question you have
this kissing is gonna be so romantic
who needs a vacation in venice when you can go to thailand with none other than ten himself as your ferryman let that sink in
except eating durian there he is, the boyfriend who can do anything!
with seemingly no effort
ten does little kind services of love for you throughout the day
he pours you herbal tea, fixes some furniture (he’s surprisingly good at tinkering), comes home from the bakery with your favorite pastry, does the laundry with your favorite fabric softener
he also goes on a huge shopping spree with you monthly because fashion is key in this household and it’s tremendous fun
you giggle when he puts on oversized shirts deliberately to look funny
everyone in the clothing store will think oh man what an adorable pair
ten will model the living hell out of the entire stock
and buy you the cape you really really want as a birthday present
said item turns out to be your favorite couple accessory
because you can sit next to each other on a bench at the river and wear it
what’s not to love about a portable blanket
of course he will take to instagram and make it such a cool thing, photographies of you wearing really cool coats and jackets
mirror bathroom selfies together as well, with a back hug, the classic
and not just for insta
you snuggle a lot generally
ten is always available for affection
and accepts all PDA
he’s a kitty after all, he loves the warmth of your body more than you know
remember how taemin said ten’s hands are always cold, newsflash not anymore since you stuff them into the pocket of your hoodie whenever you can
and hello sir your paws will be nice and cozy on my waist
or hand in hand when you waltz through your apartment
time for dance is a must
oh my god ten is so good at all of this
although say he’s definitely faster into latin than standard genres
tango argentino, he loves flamenco as well
don’t believe me? ten is a diehard rosalía stan!
vamos
so, no-brainer, expect a lot of dancy stuff
that escalates into wild, passionate fucking
which probably looks like an aggressive form of couple exercises
you poor sore souls
ten’s lil kitty butt is falling apart from all the “i can handle a bigger one!”-level pegging and you have aching legs all over
favorite position? full nelson
if you ask me ten’s ass is probably so carved out by the end of this you could fit lucas and kai in there from head to toe
this is not for the faint of heart
sex with this guy is extra cardio
and if you’re into that a threesome is gonna go down sooner or later
with our girl lisa
there. i said it
miss manoban in those knee-high boots, grinding her thighs between yours and you finishing off on ten’s face? the fucking hottest thing ever i need a moment wow
i don’t have to tell you how orgasmic this is gonna be
steamy sex life with ten very recommended
⌈ kai
— motto: you’re like a precious rose. i’ll protect you forever.
to be straightforward with you
he is in so heavily in demand it’s madness
to give you an idea of the scale
mark is basically occupied by yuta until the end of time
but kai has an entire idol fanclub on top of all erigoms
those sharp moves did not go unnoticed
he gets an inkigayo sandwich every other day
jesus christ
if rent-a-sexy-bf.com was a thing kai would be the most requested
his phone would be blowing up with contracts like
and you also have to pass kyungsoo’s vibe check
and taemin’s
the road to being kai’s gf is indeed the way of the samurai
i mean honestly: kim jongin is without a doubt the hardest member to get a date with
this has got to be the most selective man of the entire industry or something
if he likes you he REALLY likes you
and he will be the one showing initiative
because he wants to make it clear he isn’t just spending time out of politeness or something
although it’s pretty logical that if kai was unable to reject someone he would no longer be an idol but a harem husband busy every hour of the day
seoul would be able to found its own village
kai town
where like 70% of the population is pregnant
but since kai wants to keep on dancing obviously and he wants to lend his heart to only one person
seoul has to settle with a singular nini family house instead of a kai district
where you and the man himself are a full-fledged household basically since kai’s nieces double as actual kids
if you wanna be a young ass ‘mom but not mom with kids’ and be married to kim kai this is it
does he have a thing for milfs or something
that thought just came to my mind
anyway you’re mommy anyway wink wink
fucking til’ dawn until even his muscles hurt
going raw at the gym together
him cooking the most random food with the infamous waffle maker
cuddling with an army of teddy bears surrounding you
walking the dogs with the sexiest dancer alive
and the sexiness is only the tip of the iceberg
we know he’s all-round amazing
kai is the king of figuring out ways to chill out with you anywhere anytime
and yes innocent chilling
...unless you’re in the mood for something else
up to you
anyway
sweet innocent chilling for now... with the stunner... just smooching at best things aren’t going raw or anything
on the couch in the kitchen in the car when it’s parked somewhere in nature
kai takes you very seriously and is a great listener
he’s literally so respectful and open-minded i can’t
he will keep your secrets and stand up for you if it’s ever needed
yes he is extremely caring and invested
kai does not tolerate others being shady towards you
if there’s an instance where you are hurt and unable to assert yourself don’t worry. he knows how to confront others with measure but a firm determination.
kai takes a lot of that responsibility but only to the degree where you are comfortable
i think you get what i mean by that
and he is diplomatic instead of plain patronizing
you have a right to be protected. it means he not only treats you well, but also makes sure your well-being isn’t disturbed in any other way outside of the relationships
outside influences aren’t to be underestimated
and since kai is a godly man you encounter a lot of jealousy from others
a matter he will take into his hands since he knows he’s the reason
standing up for you also means saying no
to these jealous voices so this is an important boundary he has to draw
that all kinds of hellbent people want to get into his pants and take his stage image too literally is not up to you to fix
kai is there for you to enjoy and love not to defend
that’d be exhausting and beside the point
kai prevents stress and negativity to come to you
i hope i explained this well he doesn’t do this to be bossed up or make you weak it’s because he wants to make life easier for you
guys being protective will be chalked up as chauvinistic these days. often rightfully so
but what i mean is that kai support you in all regards so you won’t be at a disadvantage or feel terrible about something
⌈ taeyong
— motto: we’ll take good care. enjoy the pleasure.
he’s the type of boyfriend who will ask you about things he missed out on while he was busy
things um from the internet
while mark literally knows that one by heart already taeyong will ask you things like what the wellerman song is
and you thought it would be something nsfw
i got you fooled
did we forget that the man literally watched nct memes on youtube
taeyong is both even more 18+ than you think but also even more innocent than you think it’s complicated
this man is just hard to describe he’s so different, i mean every person is unique but he’s an original it’s the extra mile you know
anyway
sea shanties
bopping to it all day since he just heard it
singing it while he prepares dinner based on a youtube recipe video as he often does
he’s the most adorable person ever ever ever
asking you why shanties are back in fashion
(good question, requires a deeper sociocultural analysis i reckon)
planning to remix one for his soundcloud lmao i kid you not
maybe your favorite shanty
featuring fast-pace rap and all
creating his own previously unknown phrases and shit like that you know him
palazzo rocco lemon detox flashbacks
he’s hilarious i swear
taeyong will produce his own shanties for you can you imagine
as he says: my happiness is your happiness
watch out he will drop a shanty music video with extra krumping moves
taeyong is a never-ending source of pure crack
prepare to laugh a lot like, a lot lot
how can a man who seemingly has such a serious outlook on life and such a bonkers kinda face be so lighthearted
it’s like he’s peter pan or something
especially since he has to manage like over 20 brats in nct his cutesy behavior towards you as his gf will stand out to you
yeah so to be clear we all know he’s the cute one in the relationship
and guess who wears the pants
that’s always you ma’am don’t deny it
or wait
not for long actually because they come off um physically
but not metaphorically
because who doesn’t wanna sit on his face tbh
your favorite reserved spot
he loves it
taeyong has such a thing for your body it’s ridiculous
mister lee got a sexy mama
and you have such a thing for the gloriousness that is him
but neither of you will not admit it as openly as other people would think
all there is... is being flustered
baekhyun probably has to play some cupid now and then
and give you some ideas
like gifting taeyong plushies and things like that
baekhyun knows what taeyong is all about so the advice is very welcome
but most things you find out for yourself
by being a little braver with him you know
you walking around naked in the apartment or basically fresh out the shower with nothing but a towel
will shake up taeyong so immensely, he will back himself against a wall without you even pinning him there lmao!
jeez he’s so deep into kinky stuff but easily shook anyway
i quote him again: “born to be cute, i dunno!”
you can imagine the overwhelm when you rub yourself against him like it’s nobody’s business
it’s so much fun to give taeyong a regular horny meltdown not gonna lie
this man was grinding his whole body all over the superm stage and now he’s basically freezing up and drooling
how many denied and ruined orgasms he’s gonna get, so much overstimulation all the way
you’ll lose count of it
and just how wet you’re gonna be
is a thing for the history books
taeyong isn’t such a big deal in nct for no reason god gave him every talent
so great sex is obviously in his repertoire
i think you’re gonna break some records for most fucks per week
you know... guys like lucas taemin kai and baekhyun spend more time wooing and teasing and flirting
but taeyong gets down to business
one glance is enough
⌈ lucas
— motto: the hottest couple around.
ah, big boy
you really got this man’s attention
doing nothing much at all really
he probably just saw you walking around talking to friends
carrying an impossibly huge veggie burger munching and enjoying yourself after going on a jog
yeah boy that’s how you catch his eye
they say love begins in the stomach and that is the true meaning
or the nose, your food smells really good, lucas is going crazy, he’s seeing stars and shit
anyway
the towering burger isn’t the only thing he wants
lucas cannot get you out of his mind no matter how much he tries to distract himself
with more good food, movies, games
fooling around with wayv or the superm maknaes, and working out
he’s admittedly... a little himbo head over himbo heels with you the feels got to him
he’s not gonna say it’s a date he’s just gonna invite you just because
to hang out in the kitchen while taeyong cooks and baekhyun comes up with the idea to play twister
imagine lucas with his long arms and legs bending himself all over the place
fighting with kai who almost crashed his shoulders into taemin who avoided the accident quickly
making you lose a round
obviously lucas will hustle until your team wins
mostly because he’s so tall and baekhyun is so small which is a huge advantage when stacking each other over the map
let’s just face it baekhyun only suggested this game to bite everyone’s butts and to see you have skinship with lucas
which is definitely a successful plan of the leader
yukhei is in paradise
jumping around his room like an oversized bunny after you went home
don’t lie, you fell hard for him as well he’s just such a presence
emotionally, physically
a gentle but persistent giant
he’ll do anything to make your relationship happen once he knows you’re interested
if there’s someone meant to be a boyfriend it’s gotta be him come on
he will cave in after a while and admit he can’t just forget about you
not gonna lie
your ex is gonna be shaking in his ratty boots
his poor eyes will literally jop from their unexpecting sockets
when he sees lucas hanging out with you
with his shining blonde hair and tall stature, that perfect shapely body, with great fashion on top of that
looking like your guardian angel
man, xuxi really does
pulling you out of your slump that’s been going on for months
and bringing back smiles and a good time he knows how to do that best
and big big hugs of course
you can imagine how soothing and grounded it feels with such huge arms around you
he will make sure that feeling is always there when you need it
because you deserve that treatment
which means he will come over very very often
yeah get ready for how yukhei is a lot more driven than you think just dial and he will be there
underneath the meme surface is someone very determined who really really wants you
yukhei is chaotic good incarnate but in that area he isn’t messing around
his brain is like: “gotta be with her”
on repeat
he must call you, he literally can’t sleep without tying loose ends together as quickly as possible
no second wasted with this guy, even far down the relationship timeline
i really pity your ex
i mean someone dating any superm member would drive their former partner completely nuts
but lucas is a special case
he has that kind of look and aura that makes other guys dig themselves into the ground like wiggling worms or cope by fanboying over him
i don’t wanna make this sound like a competition and yet — congrats on your noodly blondie boyfriend alright
⌈ mark
— motto: two nerds in love.
how to explain this. mark is a perfect balance of a lover, a talker, and a shy bean
with a tendency toward bean
and flicking the bean
you know
cutting right to the chase are we
mark is very invested in pleasing you as good as he can
and defeating his awkwardness
because if we know one thing it’s that he always strives to become better and better like he can’t help it
and isn’t afraid of almost biting off more than he can chew
how many subunits is he part of at this point is it gonna be nct hollywood as well god dangit
back to the point mark doesn’t treat relationships and sex as something static which is a good and rare thing
he does his best and always looks for room to improve
while being very nervous, very bilingual, it takes two languages or more to express what he thinks about you let that sink in
that’s very shaky first date sex while being extremely in love with each other
lucky you
and an afterglow where he plays the guitar for you
that’s so nice
he can play it while laying down and shit
while singing
not rapping, actual full-fledged serenading
we’ve heard how that sounds in the relay cam
are you dating some kind of teenage heartthrob or something huh
mark will make it very clear he’ll stick around, this bad bitch is here to stay
or actually, he’s a good bitch, don’t misunderstand
mark doesn’t have a lot of edgy in him unless rap is concerned
he’s the kinda guy to get lost in IKEA with
having a good time
as often as his schedule permits
you really have to make use of your time together
this man might as well the busiest idol out there
and you are no different because birds of a feather
you’re both mr. and ms. independent
out and about very often
so meeting up becomes something special during comeback season
or wait mark always has a comeback going on
which is a double-edged sword but something you both know you signed up for
which is why you spend a lot of time around NCT dream, 127, and SuperM
sm’s publicity agents have to work extra hard i’m telling you
a dating rumor is the last thing both of you would need
since you befriend several members you gotta stay on the low as well
but hey the rage of jealous people of the public is nothing compared to the force of nature that is yuta nakamoto
who seriously thinks himself threatened and robbed
in case you are feeling possessive as well...
...you might have to fistfight yuta
to be able to be with mark
who is basically property of osaka at this point
yuta is a scorpio that’s just the way it is
unlike taeyong who wishes his rap buddy the best, yuta kinda wants to be mark’s wingman and see him date, live his best life
but also have mark for himself to fawn over and to adore, to be fascinated by
we get it yuta. bisexual struggles. very understandable
you have to promise in person that mark doesn’t forget about the holy gaming nights with yuta
which is hilarious since that’s not up to you but mark’s memory
bestie, yuta uses everyone as a scapegoat don’t sweat it too much
regardless you put a weekly reminder on the fridge
so the roaring lion yuta would be pacified
he doesn’t want to lose his sweetheart can you blame him
the ultimate but also most risky solution is obviously inviting yuta for movies
which will be appreciated but also cause a storm
mark will definitely break a sweat when you start a popcorn war or try to prove who hugs mark the best
caught in the middle of mayhem is mark lee’s specialty what did you expect
this either ends with murder or a chaotic open relationship down the line
yuta really is attached but who wouldn’t be
it could be worse mark has double the love you know
⌈ baekhyun
— motto: you wanna know why i’m your candy?
baby tell me are you ridin’?
in fair verona where we lay our scene...
that baekhyun always wants to woo you — his way, which proves to be very interesting to say the least — is never hard to miss
putting in effort is mochi default mode
no matter what stage of the relationship you’re in
he might as well regularly serenade you under your balcony in the backyard just because
probably singing ‘baby we can stay up’ and wiggling his ass in all directions because he’s a dirty boy gone wild
yeah. nowadays romeo is twerking instead of feuding with tybalt
that’s good for him and everyone involved
you in particular because you get some very racy eye candy
you know how baekhyun is
at least nobody’s around seeing him put on an 18+ show like that
your little guy is one unhinged fella
if it starts pouring he will grind up and down the next lantern and belt out ‘singing in the rain’
you bet he can do some actual pole dance
he’s strong and bendy you know
and loves to gyrate his whole bag of bones like... he wants to hit you with all the body rolls
in the rain
what a freaky man
but hey you wanna stay up for sure
doesn’t take long until you beckon him to come upstairs
where the only way to alleviate him of his wet clothes—
oh well he has those roger rabbit vibes and you can’t be mad at it
he will play off all his hormonal antics
baekhyun is hilarious
and so perverted, he can keep up with your spicy idea of playing patty-cake don’t worry
how do i know you’re an extra nsfw kinda person?
who else would like baekhyun
he says juicy things all the time
and does juicy things
yes. finally a couple on eye level indeed.
when baekhyun asks are you ridin’ you ask how hard
bruh
this is gonna be fun
and remember
beside handing you sacks of money
his priority is always to make you smile
i’m kidding about the bags but
baekhyun is so rich it’ll show in your relationship, but he’s more about the interactions with you rather than the lifestyle
baekhyun didn’t hustle for a bentley he hustled to sing and get out of sm alive alright
financial stability: important
luxury: very nice to have, he can make you the presents you want to have and travel a lot together
but smiles: baekhyun priority
because he so badly wants to know you love him and adore him, he sometimes feels so insecure
of course you do
you always reassure him with your reactions
it’s very important to him don’t underestimate it
baekhyun has always been talking about his ideal type in terms of how he can cheer her up
so even the naughtiest sexy time evenings are gonna be filled with all giggles
anyway other than that your pussy will be dripping
because this guy is as horny as all other members of super m combined
and you have your ways of leaving him tongue-tied and wrists-tied
taemin’s impact
superm isn’t short of bondage supplies we all know that
so yeah. shibari baekhyun is gonna happen
since he does pilates imagine what kinda shapes you can bend this lil guy into
and take some pictures
privé is in trouble
bondage model baekhyun is bursting onto the scene
you might even run a risque blog that features cropped pictures with him
heh — you think people will recognize him by his body?
nope
first: you only upload HD pictures that aren’t whitewashed
baekhyun is basically never photographed like that
second: who expects baekhyun to be featured on a bdsm blog with his girlfriend
and this is the guy that drives you around in his expensive car with his big black shades on
well what can i say
nothing is the way it seems
⌈ taemin
— motto: i’ll unfold a whole new world for you.
taemin is cocky, he’s sensual, and: a very smiley person as we know
least boring relationship ever
he will prance toward you whenever he can to involve you in cuddles
touch-starved taemin is a thing
kkoong can tell you about it, he needs kisses and embraces so often
might as well pepper him with it no problem
and put him into your oversized sweaters when he eats ice cream on the sofa, watching movies, and you brush his ever-growing hair
he’s smol he’s gonna fit into them don’t worry
and on the other hand he likes a rough and tough girl who thinks of him like a boy toy
who acts tsundere or like his bodyguard
working out almost daily to the point of sweat all over
a gal probably able to pretzel minho lucas and chanyeol into one giant bundle
taemin truly has the taste of a divo
multi-layered as always
so you couldn’t say the relationship is always the same in sentiment, the vibe of the dynamic could be different every day
we love a complex man
what would be volatile to others is actually an advantage up close
because taemin understands every difficult facet of himself and his partner
even if those facets might be contradictory
or something that’s felt shameful about
he will accept and listen anyway
the same goes for getting what drives you
taemin is like a walking psychology velvet couch with fancy swirls as arm rests
point is he isn’t fooled by the surface of the world
he knows what has to be known
which also means your looks aren’t the part he prioritizes
and not even outward personality and habit is what he’s drawn to
it’s the mentality and values underneath
that’s true compatibility to him and he can feel it
he’s really really smart
and also finds it important that you get along with shinee and superm, that you think they’re nice to be around and vice versa
especially kai as taemin’s absolute bearly bestie. if kai thinks you’re shady and you don’t like kai either
or if you’re permanently super awkward and taemin’s moodmaking doesn’t help
we have a problem
but fair enough
kai and taemin are basically one soul at this point so if taemin likes you jongin does anyway
bff telepathy
in fact jongin was probably the one introducing you to taemin lmao!
because he knows you go well together instinctively and he is correct
so not to worry then
and it’s good on taemin to think longterm and not see you as a person outside of social interaction y’know
cough cough he thinks about marriage, you might be ms. lee one day
here he goes again taemin is just very mature seeing you as well-rounded in every aspect of life
without letting his dick make the important decisions at the detriment of making this a relationship of two lives not just two bodies only
but obviously don’t assume taemin is no horny devil. we all know he dreams of the freakiest scenarios and fantasies in this whole group
going kinda crazy about the thought of making you cum which he always wants to try with new methods
which occupies his mind more than a big bowl of super spicy noodles which is taemin’s favorite meal so
at the same time taemin junior is definitely the same clingy attention whore as his sparkly owner
limp wrists from all the handjobs on your side
and very swollen lips from giving all that head on his side
this is gonna be interesting
he puts the 6v6 in 69
equals 69v69 am i right
but i’m serious that’s gonna be a lot of oral action
you definitely ask each other about having sex very often, daily if you have the time and find a nice spot
and how on earth do both of you keep your hands off each other sleeping in one bed
taemin is touchy as hell with no shyness, and you squish squeeze and grope this guy like the mochi he is
ah when things go both ways
© submissive-bangtan 2017-2021. all rights reserved. do not repost or translate. all depictions fictional.
#super m#super m smut#super m fluff#super m x reader#superm#superm x reader#superm scenario#baekhyun smut#kai smut#lucas smut#mark lee smut#ten smut#taeyong smut#taemin smut#superm fluff#baekhyun x reader#taemin x reader#lucas x reader#kai x reader#mark lee x reader#taeyong x reader#ten x reader
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Happy FFWF! 🧡 You know what I’m going to ask you…
Each of your OCs has a story with an overarching theme. What are these themes, and how did they develop with the characters and their stories?
And you know this question is the sole reason I'm actually playing this week 💛 So let's go:
Selene: There's many things going on with Selene but if you break it down, her theme is about the struggle between the responsibility we have to take for others vs. the wish and need to be our own persons and live out or freedom.
Caro: Everything about Caro is about the definition of beauty and her changing perception of it as she grows up. The theme kind of was always there and evolved into different aspects over time, with Brady as an artist showing her the beauty beyond the bare practical use of things, to her sister being scarred for life, to her issues with her own self-worth.
Henry: Henry's story deals with all of our bane, the impostor syndrome. With his gift for sensing the stories in the world surrounding him, he develops a fear of forgetting any of them and also being forgotten yet he never fully believes he is capable of telling his own story. Much of this as well as his unhappy love story came to me in a rush of angst where Henry spilled his heart to me, lol.
Caitlin: Caitlin suffers a lot by Selene not telling her the truth about her father and it’s the main reason for the troubled relationship with her mother. She is all about finding her roots and learning that only because someone is different and has different values it doesn’t mean that they’re a bad person. This was her concept all along but she was never meant to be more than a link in the family tree so her story was greatly expanded.
Lizzie: As my main girl, Lizzie has the most big fics and thus the most themes going on. But one thing that pops up in all of them is the theme of making mistakes, and that making mistakes is human and okay as long as you learn from them. The road to happiness is never straight, after all (thank you for the contribution, Orion 🙄). She is the OC who has developed the most and least out of all of them alongside these themes because she made the jump from self-insert to OC but from then on (aside from her plot line in Source of Balance) most of her story was set very early on.
Ava: It’s hard to talk about Ava without spoiling her story, but the main theme with her is forgiveness and learning to forgive - others as well as herself. Same as Lizzie, this was her theme from the very beginning.
Mina: Mina is one of my more realistic and relatable OCs, I think. For her story she had to learn how to grow out of her comfort zone and face the more bitter parts of life to come out on top. She was originally meant to focus more on overcoming her phobia of reptiles but it turned into her current theme pretty early on.
Dana: Dana’s main struggle is the idea modern society has of how a young, independent woman should be. She knows it’s a privileged to be able to do what you love for a living, but deep in her heart she also feels that this is not what is fulfilling her and she wishes for a more traditional life. This is something about her I realised only very recently. I didn’t want to give her the angst but she literally begged me for it.
Dylan: Dylan is all about the (realistic) miscommunication between men and women. As funny as it sounds, especially when there are actual problems involved, his stoic approach can often come across as cold or him not caring and he has to learn to take people expressing their emotions more intensely than him seriously. This concept developed alongside Dana’s angst fest, naturally.
Reva: Reva pushed her theme on me with all her power and it took me a while to understand what she wanted from me. Interestingly enough, her concept is the one who translated from concept to the actual writing process. Only when I let her out of her old ship and my plans for her and let her discover her own self and her self-love was she ready to truly let people in and love someone else.
#ask game#ffwf#lizzie jameson#ava campbell#mina pendleton#selene fraser#carolyn nyberg#henry lovecraft#caitlin fraser#danielle parkin#dylan amari#reva amari
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Italian 101:expressing romantic love and attraction
As promised I'm back with the romantic version of this post :D Link
As usual long post ahead (❁´◡`❁)very long oof
Let's start this journey by defining each role with it's name :)
It can be quite useful to understand a certain type of mentality ! You'll see what I mean right away.
Boyfriend is ragazzo and girlfriend is ragazza and they literally mean boy and girl ahah. Now, it's normal for unmarried native English speaking couples in their late 20s and beyond, to call each other boyfriend/girlfriend. That's really not a thing in Italian. Ragazzo/a are only used by teenagers because it does feel quite infantile to refer to your s/o in such terms in our language 😅 especially if you live together... Ex:{nation x}è il mio ragazzo/la mia ragazza
... Which brings me to: compagno/a. It's the word used by adults to refer to their s/o and it means partner as in life partner and it really doesn't matter whether you're only dating, living under the same roof and/but decided not to marry(but maybe start a family!) it's still the correct terminology! So realistically the Italy Bros would call their s/o their partner, at their current age :) And oh! If you ship them with Vanya it could be a great pun since it also means comrade ahah. Kids of course don't make use of it because a) it indicates a committed relationship as I explained, it would be weird b)it kinda sounds like classmate lol (compagno di classe). Ex:{nationx}è il mio compagno/la mia compagna
Weirdly enough it's not that uncommon to hear a teen say fidanzato/a, which supposedly should only indicate your fiance ahah. As a kid it profoundly amused me to hear fellow 12-year-olds talk about their fidanzati. But it is indeed a common way to call your loved one and I used it myself to talk about my friends' bfs/gfs. As you can imagine it lost such connotation, but I can say that many still feel quite nervous about being called fidanzato/a because they feel like they're about to step on the altar. Ex:{nationx}è il mio fidanzato/la mia fidanzata
Talking about altar... Husband is marito and wife is moglie. On the other hand groom is sposo and bride is sposa. Ex:{nationx}è mio marito/mia moglie. As you can see they don't need an article, *John Mulaney voice* quella è mia moglie! I'm so sorry.
A more yoyo *snort* way to refer to your bf/gf is tipo/a, which literally means dude/dudette ahah. Ex. {Nationx}è il mio tipo/la mia tipa😎.
Onto dialectal versions:) very important tbh, could give that something more to your texts. A common way to call your bf/gf in many northern Italian languages (except my own rjrnh) is moroso/a. It stands for "amoroso", loving and it takes the article according to the language; in most cases it does, in Veneto it doesn't. Ex:{nationx}è il mio moroso/la mia morosa or (in Veneto's case) ho visto mio moroso parlare con mio fratello(I've seen my boyfriend talk to my brother). Would be cute in a social media au like, bio "mio moroso🥺" link to the poor lad's account.
In many southern Italian regions you can find zito/a :) (it's used in Apulia, Sicily and Calabria as far as I know!!) and it pretty much means lad/lass.Ex:{nationx}è il mio zito/la mia zita. I'll assume someone like Mano would use it in a more intimate context.
Common terms of endearment and silly pet names ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
A very common mistake I've encountered in ffs is "mi amore". Italian really doesn't work like Spanish, in our language "mi" isn't a possessive adjective but a particle that indicates the indirect object :3
Ex:Mi piace il gelato.(I like ice cream, Ice cream is liked by me).
Mio is what you're looking for ☺ and it doesn't change according to gender because the adjective takes the word's grammatical gender (amore is masculine). In this case the adjective should be postponed "amore mio", unless in an example like this:
Ex. Sei il mio amore(you're my love).
Tesoro works the same way!! "tesoro mio".
As I mentioned in my platonic love post patata/o is very common and so is It's diminutive patatina/o, but it seems like carotina/o (little carrot) is popular as well (not as much tho! Once again the masculine form is pure invention ahah :)) .
Many use sugary sweet stuff like pucci-pucci which don't really mean anything dbbd we all probably collectively think they sound cute(or irritating, depends who you ask).
One I've seen a couple of times in ffs is caro/a...which indeed means dear in Italian!! But it's not that popular:( mostly because it sounds straight out a 50s commercial. It's used in a ironic way and once again ,with others I've mentioned in the other post ,to address someone who happens to be particularly annoying.
My favourite ones have to be respectively tato/a for Feli and principe for Mano. I truly thought tato/a(tatino/a) were panitalian but my main moots are from the South and they said it's not a thing there,,,? Quite the revelation. It doesn't mean anything, it's just baby talk and it's used for.. Anyone really... Your child, your pet, your bf... Might be a short form for the so popular patato but who knows ahah
Principe truly fucks me up. The idea of Romano calling his bf prince out all of things sends me. And yet it seems like it's quite popular in some parts of the South?? In my friend's @flamaflavio words "I've seen 30 something years old women use it". Oh btw princess is principessa just in case :3
Any kind of cute little animal is game(for example cucciolotto,little puppy or topolino/a little mouse that I've already mentioned). And ah in English there's this thing where you take your s/o name and add bear, in Italian it's orsacchiottino, little teddy bear.
Almost forgotten about it, a bad boy type of character might use dolcezza, sweet thing, or piccolo/a baby.
Let's conclude this post with some sentences o(〃＾▽＾〃)o
Sono innamorato/a di te "I'm in love with you"
Mi sono innamorato/a di te "I've fallen in love with you"
Ho una cotta per lui/lei "I've a crush on him/her"
A more sappy one could be "sei la luce dei miei occhi" (you're my eyes' light). It's also said by parents to their children
Ti adoro "I adore you"
Mi piaci "I like you"
Sono pazzo/a di lui/lei "I'm crazy for him/her"
I won't cover compliments but I can tell you how to say someone is hot ahah. You can say:
Che figo/a! (He/she's really hot!)
È davvero bono/a (He/she's really hot)
A funny way is "È proprio gnocco/a". My girl @flamaflavio introduced me to " È un intero piatto di gnocchi " "He/she/they is/are an entire plate of gnocchi" and I've never been the same😭
We also say "è proprio manzo" to talk about a guy ajsjsj. Manzo means beef, so I suppose it's the Italian version of "beefcake". On the same tone of the gnocchi plate a common meme is " Non è solo un manzo è un'intera macelleria " He's not only beef (a steak??)he's an entire butcher's.
In genovese slang(not language mind you, kids language ahhehs) we might jokingly say "Che beccio". A beccio is a very confident (and hot?definitely stylish) guy.
A more crass way can be "Che fregno/a"
Will keep this PG djdj but you can check this link out if you want some funny horny on main expressions ahah link
Aaand we're done!!! Just let me know if you've enjoyed this and what you'll like me to cover in next post 🥰 thanks for reading this
#aph italy#aph north italy#aph south italy#aph genoa#hws italy#hws north italy#hws south italy#hws genoa#italian#italian language#italian 101
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Old Love Doesn’t Rust
Fandom: Assassin’s Creed
Rating: Explicit
Pairing: Ezio Auditore x fem!reader
Word count: 2611
Genre: smut and fluff
Inspired by this. @marshmallow--3 here, as I promised
A/N: Sooo... Well, first of all I have parents who are his age, so it was weird, but I’ve done worse things, so no stress, I’m fine. Second of all, I’m not a fan of age differences, so I made the reader as old as Ezio, I don’t think I’ve ever read anything like that, so it’s a unique and interesting experience. Am I screaming now and am I going to scream for a few days and every time this post will get a note? You can guess.
Also the title is a literal translation of Polish idiom, which I decided suits better than the actual translation, or the actual meaning of this expression.
Constantinople was a beautiful city. Not as much as Florence, but still pretty. Unfortunately, you didn't arrive there for a sightseeing tour, you had to find your husband and help him before that moron would get himself killed. Even as an old man he was still reckless and sometimes straight up stupid. That was why you decided to leave your children with your sister-in-law and sail to Istanbul. You traveled in a simple dress, not your assassin's robes, for safety. Assassins were in trouble way more often than older women, so you decided to stick with your disguise. If you could avoid fighting, you were doing everything to do so.
La Volpe did an amazing job and gave you the exact address of the Turkish Brotherhood headquarters. It allowed you to go there unnoticed, all guards were oblivious to the fact that another Italian master assassin was among them. You were casually walking through the city, pretending you were just a visitor, not bothered by anyone. All that was left was to sneak in to the headquarters, but that never was a problem to you. Once you were inside, all you had to do was to find your man's quarters and wait there.
Unfortunately, not everything went as smoothly as you would like it to. You were noticed by a young assassin novice and vanishing was not an option. Then you had to try to reason her, which you knew could be difficult.
“Who are you? And how did you get here?!” the girl barked. She tried to press her hidden blade to your throat, but you were far more skilled than her and you disarmed her quickly.
“Merhaba (Hello). I am looking for Ezio Auditore” you said in Turkish with a polite smile, returning the weapon. “I do not intend to hurt anyone, I just wish to speak with him.”
“He is in his quarters. He clearly demanded to be interrupted only in emergency” the young assassin explained, taking her weapon with a visible embarrassment. She reminded you a lot of your apprentices in Rome. You missed them sometimes.
“Do not worry. He will understand. Show me the way, please, it will save me a lot of time” you were calm and convincing, many apprentices were telling you that you remined them of their mothers. That was sort of true, since you had given birth to your first child, you've changed. You had became more gentle and careful, but also more ruthless, especially towards the enemies. You would kill every single templar in the whole world, if they ever tried to hurt your children.
The novice was reluctant, but she finally showed you the way. When you opened the door, you saw the love of your life sleeping peacefully. His bare chest was moving in a steady rhythm and you could notice new wounds and bruises marking his skin. You saw the girl biting her lip as she watched the famous Il Mentore. He was old, but still attractive, many times you had heard girls giggling and whispering about him, usually when they thought you were not around. But you were cool with that, sometimes you would even join them for fun. After all, he was a snack.
“Teşekkürler (Thank you). I can do the rest myself” you dismissed the young assassin and closed the door behind you. All that was left was to strip of that dress and sneak into the bed. Luckily, months of having babies helped you two to learn how to move around each other without waking the other one. Soon you were in the bed with your husband and you almost started to cry. You missed him so much it hurt, and though you knew his mission was important, it wasn't helping at all, you just had to see him. Your hand found its way to his body, you just couldn't resist. Ezio stirred, feeling your touch.
“(Your/name)?” he whispered still half asleep.
“Si, amore mio (Yes, my love)?” you purred and kissed him. You were so close you couldn't resist. He kissed you back, but then he realized what was going on, apparently waking up properly. He pulled away, breaking the kiss and sat up.
“(Y/n)! What happened, is something wrong?” the man looked at you, demanding explanation.
“Nothing is wrong, mio caro (my dear). I just had to make sure you are not wrong” you answered, sitting up. The covers slid down, exposing your body for him to watch. “I missed you so bad and I knew you can not be left alone for a long time” you touched one of his almost healed wounds. “So I left our children with Claudia and came here. To help you. I did not say anything, because I knew you would try to stop me. And I am not going to. We will finish this mission together.”
“You should not have come. I left you on purpose, we can not risk our children losing both of us” he said, visibly struggling with thinking of the best solution.
“That is why I am here, love. To make sure they will not lose any of us. We are in this together” you touched his cheek and caressed it lovingly. You could see worry in Ezio's amber eyes and you knew he just wanted you to be safe. But you were not a little child, you were able to take care of yourself. He sighed deeply, not really sure what to do, but finally leaned in and kissed you.
“I missed you a lot” you heard him whisper and you knew he had lost this battle. You smirked and kissed him again, this time deeper and more hungrily. You didn't have to wait for his response.
Ezio tackled you to the bed, ending up on top of you. He let his burning desire show up, letting you know how much he wanted you, even though it was pretty obvious, you could feel he was hard and ready. His rough hands roamed your body, still fit and strong, despite your age and pregnancies. Assassins had to stay shaped to be able to fight. You were also blessed with something you used to consider a curse in your early years: you had always looked younger than you really were; when you were in your twenties, you looked like a teenager, but in your early fifties, you looked incredible. No one would tell you were the same age as your husband. Who currently was worshipping that body of yours with the same passion and love he did for the first time many years ago, when both of you were young and never thought that you would end up together forever. You loved that in him, that despite being intimate with so many women in his life, he loved you and treated like you were the only woman in the entire world.
You moaned quietly, when his fingers slid inside you to do some preparation. It was always amazing how he could turn you into hot, panting and squirming mess just with his skilled hands. You couldn't compete with him, however it was fair, because you were better with your mouth. The mighty Il Mentore was completely at your mercy whenever you decided to get down on him. But right at this moment you were at his mercy and while you didn't mind, you were supposed to regret it soon.
Because suddenly the door burst open and you saw a man storming in. He was definitely Turkish and very handsome with his black hair and blue eyes. Your cheeks turned into a bright, lovely shade of pink. Though you were covered by your husband's body and bedsheets, it didn't change the fact that you were lying completely naked in a presence of a stranger. A very attractive stranger.
“The assassins told me someone is here, we-” he stopped, when he realized what he was seeing. His expression went smug in a moment. “I've heard you were a ladies' man, but I never thought you still have it in you” he laughed, looking at the two of you.
“Molto divertente (Very funny). But it is not what you think. This is my wife, (y/n) Auditore” Ezio introduced you proudly. “(Y/n), meet Yusuf Tazim.”
“Nice to meet you” you said, barely keeping a straight face, when your husband's thumb brushed your clit the exact moment you spoke. He was clearly having too much fun and too little shame, fingering you in front of his new friend. “We are busy here, so would you mind...?” you didn't manage to keep your voice steady. Ezio's hands felt just too good, he was teasing you exactly the way he knew you loved it. Perks of being in a long-term relationship, he knew you a bit too well. You shot him a warning glare, he was fifty-three years old and he behaved like a seventeen-year-old.
“Alright, looks like there is no emergency. Have fun” Yusuf laughed again and left, closing the door. You groaned, embarrassed.
“I do not want to see this man anymore” you stated, knowing fully well you won't be able to look him in the eye soon.
“It is him who did not knock, so he should be ashamed” said your lover, kissing your breast. His beard tickled your sensitive skin. “We are married, we can do whatever we want.”
“Fine” you suddenly rolled you two over to be on top of him. “I can do whatever I want, you said it yourself” you smiled smugly at his surprised expression. Ezio chuckled, watching your actions with a burning desire. He closed his eyes feeling your hand touching him just the way he needed it.
“It has been a long time since we were making love” he purred, bucking his hips into your hand.
“We have some free time now, we can make it up” you said and leaned down to kiss the tip of his member. Your husband gasped sharply and leaned into your touches and kisses. He remained silent though, because he knew so well what would happen if he was quiet for long enough. And you did exactly what he needed you to do, soon he was moaning and writhing under you with his member in your mouth. You teased him mercilessly for a while as a payback for the earlier, licking slowly and sucking gently, when you clearly knew he wanted more. But soon your own arousal became unbearable, you needed him so bad that you quickly released his penis from your mouth and slid onto it with no warning. You both moaned at this unexpected sensation. Your inner walls tightened around his marvelous hardness and you let it sink deep into you, watching with lust and satisfaction how good it felt for your man. His rough but skilled fingers caressed your breasts and you shivered, knowing that he thought you were perfect just the way you were. No matter how did your body change by the time and pregnancies, Ezio always loved it.
When you felt ready to start moving, you placed your palms against his strong, muscled chest for support. You noticed that his wounds and bruises were healing slower. An obvious sign he was old. But you loved him even though his once dark brown hair and beard were silvery-grey. You never thought you would ever think this, but grey hair really suited him. He looked like a living legend he was. And you were so proud of him.
You closed your eyes for and tilted your head back. Every move felt better and better. His strong hands gripped your hips, suddenly one of his palms smacked your buttcheek. It was strong enough for you to yelp, but also to know it wasn't just a playful spank. You half-consciously dug your nails into Ezio's chest, hurting him unintentionally. It happened sometimes, that smack was an universal sign for "stop scratching me this hard". You reduced the pressure and strength, to make sure your scratches on his chest will cause a pleasure, not pain. His grip on your hips strengthened to the point it would leave the marks later. Which was exactly the way you liked it. You didn't care about the marks, there was no one you had to hide them from.
Your movements became faster and rougher, sighs and moans of pleasure were escaping your parted lips. Ezio always felt so good and you absolutely loved to have sex with him. And he knew you so well that he could do what you needed, before you even asked for it. This time was no different, he kissed and touched you just the way you wanted him to. Despite you being the top and technically being in control, he used his skilled hands and lips to push you into your orgasm before he reached his. You collapsed onto him, breathing heavily, both of you were tired but happy that you are together and you share this special, intimate moment, especially considering your long separation.
“Who would think, eh?” Ezio asked after some time, when you both calmed down.
“Hmm?” you hummed, looking at him with curiosity, having no idea what he meant.
“That you would be my first woman and my last” he laughed, kissing your forehead.
“I would never. I was sure you would end up with Cristina” you said a little carelessly and your husband tensed when you mentioned his long lost love. None of you could fully forgive yourself for not saving your friend, even though none of you really could. You were too far to come back to Florence at all and Ezio was too late. Just in time for the last goodbye, which wasn't very comforting, even though you didn't have even this opportunity.
“Her father hated me” he said dryly. You've been talking about it, but he was always getting bitter at the slightest mention of Cristina. Every other of his former lovers were only annoying him.
“Well, he had his reasons. Your reputation was not crystal clear” you joked. The assassin relaxed a little.
“Giusto (Right). But sometimes I wonder what would happen if I stayed” he confessed and you sighed, regretting you even said anything.
“Rodrigo would get the Apple of Eden, you would never become Il Mentore or the Assassin at all, then you would not stop Cesare and the Templars would control the whole Italia” you said reasonably. The truth was that he did a lot as the Assassin and without him, the world could look way more different. You were there to remind him about it.
“Do you always have to be right?”
“Of course I do. Besides, sometimes I think you did not mature at all, then someone has to keep you in line.”
“Me? Il Mentore? You are wounding my old heart, woman” he made an offended expression to which you couldn't help but laugh.
“You are not that old. You can still be useful, after all” you brushed his chest with your fingers and kissed him slowly.
“Not now. I am not that restless kid anymore. I need some time before the next round” he caught your hand before you did anything else.
“Don't worry, amore mio (my love). To me you will always be the same ragazzo (boy) I have met years ago” you chuckled. “Even in another fifty years.”
“Ti amo (I love you)” Ezio said and his amber eyes glowed with the feeling. “And I should have taken you with me right away. It will be faster if we do the job together.”
“Indeed. But let us relax a little more.”
“Bene (Good).”
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good evening caro mio, it's very lovely to see you~!! 💞🌹💫 oh my, i was gone for a little bit wasn't i? i apologize if i made any of you worry/wasn't there to help brighten your days like you say i do!! i was taking a little bit of a mental health break, and i feel a lot better now!!! i'm so happy to be back here, i missed you all so much!! (especially you morgy! ❤) (1/???)
"i hope your first day of school went alright,, i know how much it sucks, but i'm here alongside you to get through it all!! hopefully this school year can be at least a teensy bit easier on everyone,, but we do have to take it one day at a time, or as i say, baby steps 🌠 i should probably address this now so i can get the serious bits out of the way, but i assure you all that i'm alright!! that incident was just unfortunate, and my family made me take a rest from working because of it,, (2/?)
plus, that kind of situation is common for me unfortunately, so i'm used to sudden panics like that,, but i feel quite better now!! and i'm happier more than ever to be back again 💖💖💖 (3/?)
i do truly thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all of your patience, kind words, and support!! i'm honestly extremely surprised at how sweet everyone was about this,, it's such a nice change from daily life,, i have no idea how to put my utter gratefulness into words, but please know that i love you all so so so much!! i wouldn't trade any of you for the world, you matter so much to me 💌 (4/?)
it seems that so much has happened while i was gone,, all of these picrews (which i absolutely adore!) and quinn getting into my account?? ahhhhh oh gosh,, that's a lot!! i'm gonna have to scold her! i can't believe she would submit such candid pics of me and other stuff,, quite embarrassing! but i wasn't expecting such a positive response to me and my one cat,,, who knew that all you anons find me sleeping cute??? it's confusing to me, but i find it quite funny hehe 😖❤ (5/?)
luckily i was able to be a little more productive lately, even if i have been exausted!! i've been cooking, cleaning, modeling, sewing, dancing, and editing videos for people,, so much work! i do think it's worth it though, it helps distract me from the bad things in life, and other people end up happy,, i'd consider it a win-win for me!!! my dad also taught me how to fix up an angelo azzuro,, which is a cocktail i didn't learn yet! (6/?)
it took two days of hard work and practice, but according to him, i "nailed it right on the head" my papa is always my go-to for mixology, he taught me most of what i know, and he's always the first person to try my drinks! apparently it's a very interesting concept to my other friends, since they have so limited access to spirits,, it does make sense though! (7/?)
we italians just don't care about drinking ages hehehe, as long as we're responsible and cautious with age, it adds to our lifespan ;) during that short break, i suppose my narcolepsy flared up a lot since i was falling asleep left and right! it was awful having to constantly wake up with either a migraine, extra tiredness, or even a bruise or two,, thankfully though i had my family to watch over me,, at least i was finally able to make up for lost sleep hehe 💫 (8/?)
i also got to play a lot of minecraft hehe,, my friend and i actually spent a full day doing a speedrun world, and we killed the ender dragon and wither within only 2 1/2 hours!! it was crazy,, i guess me and him just make a dynamic duo (but i dare to say,, not quite as dynamic as you and me 😉) speaking of minecraft, over the weekend i decided that i'm going to start streaming on twitch soon as a hobby!! i'm very excited for this, it's something i've wanted to do for a very long time now (9/?)
all of my friends and my siblings are very supportive of it, which i'm super glad about!! i've always found little bits of joy in my favorite streamers, so why not give back to that community? an artist friend of mine even drew me a pfp as a gift, it's so cute! all i have to do is figure out a balance between school, personal life, and streaming, then i'll be set,, i'm always happy to get a new hobby 😊✨ (10/?)
oh my, it's almost 23:45 now!! sadly, unlike today, tomorrow is full of classes and work,, so i should probably get going to bed! i'll hopefully see you tomorrow then, darling! goodnight, and as always, sweet dreams,, make sure to rest extra when you can 💗- much much love and extra hugs, waifu anon xoxo 💗❤💖💞💓💕💘💌 ps: you say that you'd come all the way to america just to say such kind things to me?? it looks like i'll just have to return the favor then darling 💘 (11/11)"
This do b kinda late ngl since im assuming i literally leave for school just as u send those in💀💀💀 things r kinda hard w school here but today was actually one of the few decent days i had in what y e a r s??? Me n my friends went out after classes and spent the entire afternoon sipping boba tea (it was my first time having it since boba places r rare here and we had to travel in the opposite part of the city and holy shit my third eye opened bruh i A S C E N D E D) and talking abt anime and simping and basically clowned eachother constantly jahahhdkf
B u t enough of that bc i see u had some nice days goin on as well😳😳 as i said many times before i'd kill a man to taste the cocktails that u do and one day we finna do that on g o d 😩✌️ and STREAMING? DROP THE LINK WILL YA DARLIN ME N THE CLOWN ARMY WILL BE THERE IN A H E A R T B E A T HDJDJSJ honestly streamer waifu is such a nice concept....i myself dream of streaming but sadly i dont have the time, space, money and overall neccesary equipments for it which is lowkey depressing ngl💀
Either way im glad to hear u been balancing things out and taking breaks dear, i myself am t r y i n g to make time for other stuff too since i really wanna write and watch anime (u know what series i just finished and had a 🅱️REAKDOWN 🅱️ REAKDOWN over one hour ago🤡🔪) but the schedule do b wacky ngl....
And as always i say: of c o r p s e everyone had positive reactions?? W h y w o u l d n t t h e y-
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happy (i think?) 1 year
Ok so it’s been a year y’all and I have been on a crazy ride this last year. I’ve met some amazing people, some shitty people, some lovely people and some really questionable people 🤔 I have so many wonderful mutuals who I’ve shared so many memes, moments, gifs, fics, recs, pictures and videos with and I’m grateful for the amazing friendships I’ve built on this absolute shit-hole of a website/app.
Below is a mix of the mutuals I talk to, mutuals whose blogs I love and mutuals who I follow who always post amazing content and bless my dash with diversity, happiness, inspiration, love and colourful things. Even if we don’t talk, just know that following you has been a pleasure so far! This journey’s been great so far so thank you to everyone! Here’s to another year! (If your name is in bold, check below for a special message 💕)
A-C
@afiwashere / @afroarmy94 / @angeljimiin / @awildblackkpopperappears / @dabaddestb-tch / @beekkul / @blksunflowergrl / @canadian-honey / @candiedmingyu / @cherry-bangtan / @cloudyera
D-F
@dearlytea / @emotiadouche
G-I
@gijitae / @gukgalore/ @guksheart / @heinekyun / @icasseopeia
J-L
@jango-tango / @jour-de-printemps / @juniorgunners / @kainks / @kittenfran / @kuromatoki / @kwkwknsn / @lumochii
M-O
@magiic-shop / @minnpd / @mitaesoroo / @myleejooheon / @nanders-sk / @natazite / @noona-clock
P-R
@polaritae
S-U
@shininjjongg / @soft-hoseokkie / @softstancyj / @some-people-have-lives / @sunflowersinmyafro / @submissive-bangtan / @sunnychims / @sweetheartwonho / @tae-kun / @theangelcafe
V-Y
@wheneverythingslipped / @wonhoneybun / @wonhosflower
✨ @afiwashere you’re kind and caring and loving, soft and empathetic but that doesn’t lessen your ferocity nor your sassiness. You’re one of the strongest people I know and I hope to always be blessed by your witty words, excellent humour and gentle soul.
✨@cherry-bangtan I had the pleasure of working with you to produce some headers for your amazing works and it’s something I’ll always remember. You were one of the first authors I followed on here and I thoroughly enjoy everything you’ve written. You’re always kind and patient with the people you interact with and such traits are difficult to uphold in such a hostile environment these days. I hope you continue writing masterpieces and I look forward to reading them!
✨ @dearlytea Rea! We haven’t really had the time to speak since you’ve been away on your hiatus but I genuinely love everything about you! You’re funny and talented and write some of the best smut I’ve ever read. Love love 💗
✨ @emotiadouche LEY WHERE DO I EVEN STARTTTTT. I remember following each other really early on and you’ve always rooted for me. You’re a fuckin comedian, brilliant writer and best friend! From whoring out over our favs to asking each other for advice on writing, you’re always there for me, my lil yeetling. Might I also mention your mind is just as filthy as mine and I adore it 😔🙏🏾 needless to say, you’re also a fucking great author and I love you works, I would love to write a collab piece with u. also thanks for ruining my life by introducing me to ATEEZ, I belong to one (1) woman and one (1) woman only. I love you big time, my bbg💘💋
✨ @gijitae minha querida, you’ve been so kind to me and so loving. I love our mutual passion for languages and writing and I absolutely adore the knowledge of cinema you bring to me. You teach me so much and support me so much more, I do not deserve an angel like you. 👼🏾
✨ @gukgalore Rayan, you write some of the best content out there and honestly, you’re so creative. So talented and open-minded and willing to listen to others. Never change, you’re absolutely perfect!
✨ @guksheart Cait, omg :( we’ve been through so much shit, but I can always count on you to listen in times of need and can always rely on you to give great advice. Honestly, you’re a queen and I look up to you so much, you’ve inspired me in so many ways and encouraged me in my writing. From our shared passion for tea and lofi to our undying love for bts and kpop, we clicked from the very moment we messaged. I hope that life is kinder to you than it has been and I hope you find the happiness you undoubtedly deserve. I love you so much! 💕
✨ @mitaesoroo Bebe! Your timidness and softness is impossible not to like! I know you’re away on a hiatus but I hope you eventually see this. You’re back and I’m so happy! I always have you to thank for sharing amazing tunes with me (your taste in music is impeccable) and for always being there to cry about Monsta x together. I wish you all the best, mon amour 💗
✨ @jour-de-printemps we’ve been mutuals for only a little while but the similarities and things we have in common with each other are absolutely crazy! We’ve ranted together and I’ve enjoyed listening to your stories about the work you do. I also love your writing, you’ve written one of the most heartbreaking stories I’ll never forget and I hope you continue to write more!
✨ @kuromatoki I literally have no words that can express. You were my first follower and the first person I followed and ever since you’ve messaged me asking about CoD, we’ve pretty much been inseparable. Your undying, burning love for B.A.P and dark aes is what I love most about you, along with your soft personality and loyalty to your friends. You are the most amazing person and if it weren’t for the fact we live in different countries, I’d be by your side 25/8. You’ve always been there for me, even when I think I’m undeserving and I hope life grants you eternal happiness. I love you dearly 💗
✨ @minnpd Nova :( I know you left tumblr a while back but you remain one of the most cherished people in my heart. Your writing is absolutely phenomenal and I’ve pretty much read your entire masterlist. I’ll always remember our first interactions and me being intimidated by your status and I’ll never forget the excitement I felt knowing you were about to release a new work. I hope you’ve found happiness and solidarity in life and I wish you the best for the future. I love you! 💗
✨ @nanders-sk you’re such a talented young writer. Your words transport me to the worlds you create and I’m completely lost in every piece. Your writing is magical and although we don’t really speak, I know you have a kind soul. Please never stop writing and doing what you do best. The world deserves to see what an amazing author you are and you deserve such recognition.
✨ @shininjjongg RI LMFJSNS I LOVE OUR FIRST ENCOUNTER, ITS ABSOLUTELY UNFORGETTABLE; who knew two opposing opinions on Dragonball (a.k.a. The Best anime out there) would form such a solid friendship. My Pisces Partner in Crime who never fails to crack me up. You’re always bursting with knowledge about history and it’s so beautiful, your passion. You’re a fierce, determined, take-shit-from-no-one kinda gal and I love that about you. Not to mention you’re really hot too 🤧 I hope your exams went/are going well and I hope to speak to you again soon 💗
✨ @soft-hoseokkie Jo! We’ve interacted a bit more recently and I really appreciate the fact you stan underground/rookie/underrated groups who really deserve more recognition for their phenomenal efforts 😔✊🏾 It broadens my horizons and always piques my interest. But! You’re always kind and calm and I love that you’re so open minded. You’re also adorable 🥰
✨ @submissive-bangtan Miss Caro, I’m a little nervous writing this bc you’re one of my biggest role models. You opened my eyes to the domme lifestyle and while I think I’m not really a domme, I can appreciate that aspect a lot more than before. Your writing is sensual and sharp-cutting; thought-provoking and extremely sexy. You’re firm and take shit from no one yet still kind and patient with the people you speak to. You have the perfect balance. Interacting with you has always been a pleasure and I hope to do so more in the future 💗
✨ @theangelcafe Honey, you were my first anon and the way we spoke pretty much everyday was amazing! I know we’ve both been so busy and don’t talk as much now, we still remain close and I always love hearing about your day and your interests! 👼🏾
✨ @wheneverythingslipped Kat, i just, like, love you so much. I remember sobbing over how beautiful you are, your beauty is legit breathtaking. You’re always quick to tag me in things you think interest me and share your passions with me and for that I’m so so grateful. You’re one of the purest souls I’ve ever encountered, you’re so special ✨💕
✨ @wonhoneybun RAE ☀️ We’ve spoken a lot more recently and I think we’ve grown closer. You’re kind, sweet, loving and talented and we share a lot of things and experiences in common. You’ve always been kind to me and always take time out of your day to make sure I’m ok, I appreciate that more than words can ever convey 💌
✨ @wonhosflower Silvia :( you’re so beautiful it intimidates me bshsjsnshhs your passion for cakes and baking is so cute and inspires me to get in the kitchen more often! (Not to mention your love for Wonho & jikook) Whoever gets to wife you one day, will be awfully lucky to have such a gorgeous and talented girl like you 💕
I’m currently away so this is queued but know that I love and cherish you all! 💕✨💕✨💕✨💕✨💕
that’s enough emotion for one day, adeus y’all 👋🏾💗
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lmao this silly show did my favorite thing it’s ever done in its finale
#the entire season i was like lorenzo is too like... well-intended#and in the finale we see that his fucking grandma was like 'hatred begets hatred' on her deathbed and inspired his goodness crusadew#and after his brother dies he's like well she can get fucked and not only tells sean bean#YOU LOSE right before hanging him lmao#he takes sean bean's little locket of his dead wife outta his hand and throws it on the ground#i mean they also had ridic shit like botticelli sobbing over someone burning a painting that is literally not burned#which is funny bc botticelli willingly burned his own work later in life#and dumbass bianca is like IF U KILL MY HUSBAND U GOTTA KILL ME AND OUR BABY FIRST#and fucking lorenzo's like oh my goddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd#also there was the line 'DOESN'T THIS FRESCO MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU' which is both funny and like#a question on a final i took once i'm sure#also i definitely feel like they must be planning another lorenzo-based season w/ sharman#bc it ended.... very unresolved#caro watches medici#but i'll be real it's not that i think the show is very good#and it is probably largely bc i find daniel sharman SICKENINGLY HOT in this role#i'd watch it
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Papas + Copia: Autistic S/O
Anonymous said to ghostheadcanons:
Could you do some fluff with the papas and copia with an autistic s/o? I got told by a friend that I’d never find a boyfriend cause I’m autistic and I need some cheering up after that..! Thank you!
What the hell! Why would someone say something like that? That’s not okay at all!! That would be like someone telling me that no one’s going to want to date me for my ADD. It’s ridiculous!
Anon, listen to me. No matter what’s going on in your life, no matter if you’re neurotypical or not, there will always be someone for you out there. Multiple someones! And just because someone else can’t see that doesn’t mean it’s not true! It’s a big wide world out there. Out of the seven billion people on earth, if you want to find a significant other, there’s bound to be at least one person who thinks you’re their everything.
That goes for the rest of you out there reading this, too.
As for writing for an autistic S/O...you’re going to have to bear with me. I’m not autistic myself, but I have a brother who is, and I’ve done my research to the best of my abilities. I don’t mean to offend anyone here with hurtful stereotypes. I don’t know if I’m the best person equipped for the job, but hopefully I did decently enough.
It needs to be said that none of them would think any less of an S/O with autism. The church is open to everyone--and so are they.
Papa Nihil:
Surprisingly, he has somewhat of a grasp on what you’re talking about if you tell him about your autism. His eldest is ‘a little different’, too, but he never held that against him.
That’s always how he’s phrased it-- ‘a little different’. If you take offense to him referring to you that way, he would apologize and do his best to refer to you properly.
If you don’t like lots of physical contact, Papa Nihil would abstain from his normal amounts of hugging you and kissing you, and would find different ways to show his affection.
If you only like certain foods, he’s more than happy to prepare them himself for you. No matter how outlandish you might think they are together, he’s always open to making them!
Sister Imperator would want to know more, if you have any triggers, any sensory problems, etc. so she could set you up with proper accommodations.
Nihil would love to hear you talk about your special interests! You can talk for hours on end about them and he’ll listen eagerly.
"I love watching you light up when you talk, cara mia.”
Papa I:
If you confide to him how you feel, he’s the one out of all of them who is most likely to understand what you’re feeling.
If you don’t like going out or talking to a lot of people, this man is for you. He’s reclusive, himself, and only has a handful of people who really know him.
Social rules in different settings are a pain for him to navigate. You never have to worry about offending him by saying the wrong thing or not abiding by Unwritten Social Code #3496. He doesn’t mind one bit.
Has a youtube account just for stim videos. He has thousands of them arranged neatly into playlists. He’ll send you all the links.
Never talks down to you. But if you need him to explain something a different way, he’ll do so, in a non-patronizing manner.
“We are all one in Lucifer, lamb. No matter what our difficulties are.”
Papa II:
You have to tell him about your autism. He wants to make this work for you, but he can’t do that if you don’t tell him what things bother you, what gives you trouble, etc.
Is not irritated in the slightest about how you stim, no matter what it is, or if it’s considered ‘annoying’. The most he’ll do is go to another room if he needs to concentrate on his paperwork.
He doesn’t infantilize you because of your autism. He knows that you’re a fully grown adult who can understand what he’s saying.
At the same time, though, he also keeps your difficulties in mind and will always offer to help if he sees you struggling.
If you’re forgetful about meds you need to take or a schedule you need to keep, he’ll remind you. “Your pills, caro. Go and take them.”
You can bet if anybody even looks at you funny for acting ‘weird’ that Papa II is going to come over and literally destroy them.
Will always reassure you if you’re anxious about yourself/your abilities/etc.
“You are not broken, caro. You process things differently is all. And I do not love you in spite of that, or because of that. I love you, for you.”
Papa III:
At first he probably wouldn’t understand all that well. But he would do his research and come back to you with questions about all kinds of things. Does going out all the time bother you? Do you have social anxiety? Are there surfaces you don’t like?
Like his brother, he’s willing to learn, and to help if you want it!
If you quote a line you like from a movie/game/book out of absolutely nowhere, you can bet that Papa III is going to quote the response right back at you. He always gets your references. The two of you have a blast quoting lines back and forth at eachother.
If social situations are difficult for you, Papa III is willing to explain a lot of the unwritten rules if you want him to, especially beforehand. These sorts of things can be tricky sometimes, even for him!
If he has to explain a romantic metaphor he made, he wouldn’t be irritated that you didn’t ‘get it.’ Some of his romantic metaphors are, in fact, very stupid.
He’ll help keep you on schedule, since it took him a very long time to learn how to do it himself. He has problems focusing on things, and sometimes you have to shake him once or twice to get his attention. If you’re the same way, he would always be patient with you.
Also like his brother, if anybody gives you shit for the way you act, he’s going to come over and cuss them out.
“Forget them. They don’t matter. What do they know about anything? Of course common horses wouldn’t know what they’re looking at when they see a unicorn. You are one of a kind, tesoro. And I love you.”
Cardinal Copia:
Aside from Papa I, he’s the other one who’s most likely to understand your struggles if you confide in him.
He has a lot of difficulties in close social interactions, so he can teach you some of the tips and tricks he’s picked up over the centuries if you struggle with those, too.
If you want to stim by petting his rats’ fur, he’s more than happy to let you!
On the other hand, if you don’t like the feeling of his rats on you, or their fur, he’ll be sure to let them know so they’ll stay off and away from you.
He’s very adamant about his schedule, and he’ll try to get you set in a routine you’re comfortable with, if you want his help.
He’s the type to remember everything you’ve said about your special interests, and look into them himself to see if he can get interested too. Who knows? You might have got him hooked on something new!
Knows painfully well what it’s like to be a social outcast. Growing up in Italy, he related more to his pet rats than the other children, and even now, he still feels the same way.
“It can be very hard, topolino. I know that more than anyone. But we’ll get through it together, you and I. Ti amo.”
#ghost#ghost bc#papa nihil#papa i#papa ii#papa iii#copia#cardinal copia#autism#i hope this turned out okay!!!!#ghost headcanons#headcanons#ghost bc headcanons
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I see Freddie with her crap blowout as the picture they use for this. Much irritation. Also! There are only five episodes left. What am I gonna fucking do after this?
And the Woman Clothed With the Sun…
* The exes reunite!
* I hate these fucking captions. It literally just said “(Lecter sniffing)” FUCK OFF
* We’re on a strictly “Dr. OMG FUCK YOU HANNIBAL I WAS JUST GOING TO WRITE THAT YOU BASTARD!!!!
* AND THEN YOU KILLED HER, HANNIBAL!
* You’re right. He’s sassy. More so than usual. Slimy little bastard.
* Fuck you, Hannibal. You’re just jealous that Will has some actual growth in his life while you’re stuck in your sexy little glass cell. Just because you got a haircut doesn’t mean you’re the shit.
* DID WE JUST FADE??? (That door shutting didn’t add up. Kinda annoying) HOLY SHIT ABIGAIL!!!
* I take it this is what you meant when I’m finally going to know what happened to her?
* And I don’t fuck with this eugenicist bullshit. I get it, it’s in passing and all that shit, but still! The ableism!!
* Is that why he kept trying to cut her throat time & time again??
* And this is why everyone’s favorite parent is Will. Sorry, Hanni.
* But in all seriousness, I like that line A LOT. “You accepted your father, would it be so difficult to except me?” Because it shows his charm and manipulation faltering. His parental Drive was so weak from the start that it really felt that much more of a façade. Will Graham is the caring parent. Hannibal Lecter is… Hannibal Lecter.
* Los Muñozes are a “raise a certain amount of hell” kind of family (SORRY, I HAD TO!)
* SOME FLESH? OH THE EAR!!!
* I do love his little grins. It just helps so much more with Caro, and how he would interact with her. Hannibal in the scene with Abigail is probably the closest thing that I am ever going to have with him as if he were with Caro
* Wait, this is so fucking funny. I love it.
* This is the most Tim Burton looking suit that Alana has worn yet. Beetlejuice ass blazer, sexy little white waistcoat, and the most delicious crisp white trousers.
* Such a complete lack of control. WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO HIM, HANNIBAL???
* A VERGER BABY!!! Good for Margot & Alana & baby!
* I let out the most disgusting little snort laugh when Alana said, “Hannibal’s never been good with boundaries.”
* Oh my God! Set change for the very appropriate office. We need some sense of comfort in this absolutely bat shit season.
* This one feels more dramatic than the first family we saw last time.
* Bastard Hannibal is bastard. Water is extremely wet.
* I’m only going to assume that it looks like black goop. Because that’s what I thought in the last episode when I mentioned that comment. And then my dumbass realized that it was in the blood.
* Why do they slick his hair back?? Who made that decision? He’s already naked!
* FREDDIE, HI BABY!!!! Hate your hair!
* She does love a good finger wagging.
* CUT TO “HOW IS MARGOT?” Tell me you’re in a wlw relationship without telling me you’re in a wlw relationship!
* “I’m stating it as fact.” GET HIS ASS, ALANA!!!!
* Indignity. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!
* Is Caroline Dhavernas small or is Mads just 6’?
* He is teaching her.
* I love these conversations with him and Abigail. But it also just makes me a bit insecure because they’ve already been done. I have to try and find some new way for me to write Hannibal and Carolina.
* Now why in the hell would they make GJH manspread so aggressively?
* Look at baby Francis!!!
* What in the world are you doing, William? Whatever it is, I hope you enjoy the party.
* Francis! Pobrecito!!!
* Ana now we have a tail
* You name the cat Kate?
* “What could possibly link these two families?“ “They’re both happy.” OUCH!
* Will Graham, you smart little cookie.
* Freddie! HATE. YOUR. HAIR!
* MURDER HUSBANDS!!!!!
* Freddie is the cutest little parasitic journalist out there. Still a bitch, though.
* Oh! Who is she?
* Ah! He speaks!
* And she’s blind!
* I believe I will learn to like those two.
* And a lovely little pie!
* He paused at the speech therapy.
* She is very good! I like her a lot! Sympathy and self pity. Amazing.
* And he is a scared young man. Poor darling.
* I love the coziness of Will and Molly. The coziness has now dissipated. But let’s brighten it up a bit with another dog. Always works!
* So fucking pissed. So fucking pissed at Lawrence Fishburne! If it wasn’t for him, Will would not be waking up in a pool of sweat! FUCK!
* I get it, it’s made to look like a mirror shattered on his face. However! The teacup analogy is so strong! He will always be a teacup!
* JACK & HANNI??? SHIT!!!!!! Never thought I’d see that again.
* Fun cannibal puns are fun! And we are all in the stew together.
* Do not talk about his dead wife, you fucking bastard.
* OH MY GOD I THOUGHT WE’D SEEN THE LAST OF CHEF HANNI!!!! Oh, a finale. I knew that button up looked familiar.
* Hunt with your new father that will also try to kill you. Good luck, Abigail!
* Attorney?? WHOM? Oh, FRANCIS! Of course!!! He is a flame, and each little murderer is a moth. I’m telling you, it really reminds me so much of that kid who wanted to be a wolf. As of right now the only thing that separates that kid and Francis is that they didn’t have a connection with Hannibal. At least not as early as the kid had it when he diagnosed him. Francis seems more distant.
* Even the lines are the same!
* Roll credits.
Oh no, that “you’re going to find out what happened to her” thing was referring to the season 2 finale. Honestly I keep forgetting that Abigail is in flashbacks in the latter half of season 3 until someone brings it up.
The "yes you do, how is Margot?" response to the finger wagging makes me wheeze every time I hear it. Hanni, you sassy little shit!
I love that you like seeing Freddie (Lounds) now, but also are like "fuck this hairdo" (i mean, i'm with you on that, too - i miss the curls)
Oh you're going to love Francis and Reba... you're also going to hate me by the end (ok just need to clear up something - Reba doesn't die. Not by natural means or Red Dragon/Sassy Shithead Cannibal means. Also Rutina is very very pretty, that's just an observation.)
Okay so you're going to very happy (...I think) with the next episode, and I'm also expected a few "WTF" reactions from a certain scene that happens near the end... I swear I've seen this scene in all three Red Dragon adaptations and it never ceases to make me go "WTF".
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♫★ Portal Playlist ★♫
!Full Fanmix!
♫ Everybody Wants to Rule The World - Aperture
(Tears For Fears)
♫ This is Not a Test + Finally Free - Chell
(Tobymac + Chris Hawkes)
♫ Steady On + Listening For The Weather - Mel
(Tim Be Told + Bic Runga)
♫ Till the Day I Die + Never Let Me Go - Doug Rattmann
(Tobymac + Florence & The Machine)
♫ You’ve Got a Friend In Me - Companion Cube
(Toy Story)
♫ I Know Nothing + Regret - Wheatley
(Travis + Fearless Vampire Killers)
♫ Titanium + Lean On - Virgil
(David Guetta + Major Lazer)
♫ Mr Policeman - Rick the Adventure Core
(Brad Paisley)
♫ SPACE IS COOL - Space Core
(Schmoyoho)
♫ I Know Everything About Everything - Fact Core
(Frenzal Rhomb)
♫ That Man - Rainbow Core
(Caro Emerald)
♫ I Want It All + Black Honey - Cave Johnson
(Cam + Thrice) bonus
♫ It’s Alright + Old Soldier - A.E.G.I.S.
(Dennis Waterman + David Crosby)
♫ If I Didn’t Have You - Atlas & P-body
(Monsters Inc.)
♫ Oh No + The Fall - Caroline
(Marina and the Diamonds + Yann Tiersen)
♫ Getting Stronger - GLaDOS
(Black Gryph0n)
Almost didn’t post this for various reasons but I worked too hard on it for it not to see the light of day as such. Thanks to the friends that supported me. Reasonings for each song below! (though note, most of them were picked for lyric suitability then accuracy of tone and characters with two songs where so I could get a better guess at their tone and character arcs)
Aperture - It just feels like it really suits multiple characters and their motivations, and really, the working atmosphere of Aperture in general. Even before the incident, it was full of ambitious people who wanted to push limits and boundaries, do the impossible. They turned their backs on the natural order of things, of ordinary morality and did what they wished, even when it came to nothing and crumbled before their eyes. Everybody wanted to rule the world
Chell - Fast paced and badass just like the test subject herself, tons of lyrics that could directly apply to her, and a real ironic tongue in cheek nature to the title itself haha though its meaning is very true for her, since she does not get practice runs or retry’s. Its startlingly and strongly real. But once she is free of it all, that’s where the second song comes in. It’s still strong and powerful, but its tempered and much more relaxed. And full of little things like the appreciationg od sunlight and the sea that I feel would really resonate with Chell, being able to appreciate the little things without worrying about those people who’d come along and force her away from a life she has control over
Mel - Her first is bobby, and upbeat, but still carries a sense of hopelessness she pushes aside to stay strong and keep on going. Her time, her past is gone, and all she can do is keep going in hope she sees the dawn again. And when she finally does, its much more peaceful and steady. The second song is full of sunshine and serene sturdiness. Calm, with lines of farewell and a little loneliess and regret for leaving her friend, yet a need to return home and find her place
Doug - Doug was hard to pick for because of his eerie and surrell tone he deserved, but the strong passion for survival and the survival of those he needed in his life. He started the series of having two songs so I could better capture tones and character arcs. Anyway the first is 100% his passionate side and determination to survive. His support of Chell through his artworks and messages, his steely determination to keep going, despite everything working against him. The second is something like how I’d see his sentiments once he goes back and sacrifices his life freedom for Chell’s. It captures more of his ghost like prescence in the game, and how peaceful it is now he’s found a resting place. Though it still carries the message of his will to survive, asking Chell not to let him, or possibly even his memory, go.
Cube - Could any have fit better? I mean seriously, I was meddling around with friendship songs and the second I was reminded this existed there could not have been any others. Cube is not especially extrodinary in any fashion, not stronger, smarter or better then any other prop you will find in aperture. They are just a normal cube with a heart on it. But they will love you will all that is in them, never threaten to stab you in the back or abandon you, and you’ve always got a friend in them
Wheatley - This one is just funny to me haha, found it while looking for Fact’s song, and couldn’t leave it to memory obsuricty. Besides, it does a decent job covering how out of the know he is whille giving an optimistic spin, as Wheatley was apt to do. He just goes about, knowing nothing, making it to the end of each day. The second one however is definitely the more emotionaly powerful one for me, as the lyrics suit so well but the melody doesn’t go full angst and gives it a aptly regret like tune, sad punctured with harsh tones. And the lyrics were just perfect for a sad little space orb who made a lot of mistakes he regrets
Virgil - Virgil was one of the hardest to find songs for, but I stand by the ones I chose. The first one is something of a statement about his characters strength even while clearly feeling very low about himself. The second is not only a 70′s style song, but resonates with his learning to rely on other people, namely Mel. How you can overcome all obsticles with someone who you care for
Rick - Just a free wheeling song about enjoying the rush of breaking the rules in a fun western tune. Very adventurous
Space - I kinda feel bad about using a remix of someone elses voice but between the lyrics and the melody it was just too perfect. Besides I couldn’t find any others that matched up with it. So yeah heh
Fact - IT WAS SO HARD TO FIND A GOOD SONG FOR THIS ALTERNATIVE FACT GENERATOR. But in the end I think the choice was pretty good, though not nearly as detached or electric style as I would have prefered to find
Rainbow - Fun and jazzy, romantic and stylish, perfect! And the best part is you can see it from either Rainbow or Virgil’s perspective, freaking adorable gay babies
Cave - Nyeeeeeh I still kinda feel weird about these two but there alright. These two are definitely ment to mix together to get Cave’s cheery but harsh persona. That while he might have had good intentions, it was always to forward his own interests and get everything he wanted for his own. And that despite the consequences, he kept reaching for things beyond his right and never stopped, even after he passed away
A.E.G.I.S. - Aegis was always a protector figure to me. Kinda an old man, even though the game never gave you much of a human personality to him. Even if he went the wrong way about it, and tries very hard to kill you, it was all out of a need to protect what little was left of the facility. The first was found looking for Virgils, just a fun gruff at work song about an old officer. Took a while to find the second song, but it fit just right for the lonely old soilder who lost every battle that counted
Atlas and P-Body - Was there really any others I could have picked? Its like with cubes haha it was just too perfect for these adorable robots whose world literally revolves around each other
Caroline - While the tone is a little off, Caroline has always struck me as someone who always knew exactly what she wanted out of her existence, and worked hard to make that happen, with a couple silly moments along the way. She was an unstoppable force, who in the end fell to her own pursuits, at the hand of a person she trusted. The Fall, is definitely just the kinda music I imagine would have backgrounded Caroline’s shift into GLaDOS had we seen it. Sober, yet justaposed. She was a tragic figure, but it was also something of a fitting fall for someone who was “the backbone” of a highly corrupt and dangerous company. And of course it leads perfectly into the last song.....
GLaDOS - Here we are! Easily my proudest pick. Not only does the tone and melody fit her to a tee, the lyrics are almost literally perfect. No matter what you do to her, Glados is always on top of it in the end. She’d rule the world within a week if she put her mind to it
#portal#portal 2#portal playlist#portal fanmix#portal stories mel#portal stories: mel#psm#ps:m#glados#wheatley#chell#mel#doug rattmann#virgil#a.e.g.i.s.#companion cube#fact core#rick the adventure core#space core#cave johnson#rainbow core#atlas#p-body#atlas and p-body#caroline#aperture science#aperture#I worked really hard on this okay please give me some attention only one person so far has listened to it all#You dont' even have to listen to all of them just the ones you like just please listen#my stuff
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Have You Ever Been To See London Town
(original date: 01 November 2015)
Here We Are In London Town
As some of you might've read in one or the other post, I planned on going to London this fall. Well, that happened two weeks ago and now I am here to tell you all about it. Because I got a lot to tell you guys from the interwebs. But no rambling now. Without further ado, I present to you: my week all alone in London.
It was Tuesday, October 20th, very very early in the morning. My mom drove me out to the airport in Basel where I would take off around 7am. My mom did not come into the airport, so I had to do the check-in and baggage stuff all by myself - for the very first time. Whenever I flew before it had always been in a group and I had just watched what the others did and then did that. But not this time. No. I had to figure it out myself. But I got that done eventually and found myself at my gate, waiting very bored for boarding. To pass the time I typed out my thoughts on my phone, which is what I wanna show you right now.
It's 5:53am, I'm sitting next to Gate 31 at EuroAirport in Basel. I just had a croissant and a (absolutely horrible) coffee from Columbus Café. Boarding is in approximately half an hour, flight takes off at 7am. If everything goes accordingly to plan, I will be in London at 8.15am. I am rather bored right now but the other people here do not look any better than me. There's a rather old man in a brown leather jacket and an old woman who don't sit next to but apparently know each other. Next to the woman sits a 40+ dude, with moustache and a green-white scarf, who knows them as well. Opposite me sit two 50+ gentlemen, both tapping on their (allegedly) iPhone 6s's, being all business and shit. One of them wears old people shoes and a beige trench coat, the other looks like Prince Charles. Then there's a blonde woman with a coffee, who doesn't mean to but looks rather lonely and sad. Then behind me sits some dude in a red-black caro shirt. No idea what he looks like. The coffee shop is getting more and more busy the closer we get to boarding time. Which is odd because that coffee is crappy as hell. Well, maybe they can make Latte's now and not just plain coffee or espresso. It's past 6am now. I am still very bored. I could keep looking at these people and analyse them, but it is not that interesting to be honest. But hey, the old dude in the brown leather jacket just moved to sit next to his wife (?), cause the other dude went away. Oh, my mom just sent me a text. Maybe I'll meet someone I know. That'd be rather funny.
You get the idea. I was very bored. A bit later I go on and on about all the people around me, give them names like "The Italians" or "Donald Trump", "Mulan" and "Princess Diana". I write about every new person who arrives. It was entertaining for the time being.
It was 6:40am when I finally sat on my seat (23A). At this point I started to write on my phone again about what was happening, what I was doing, the people around me and other things. A little before we started going down again we got little sandwiches for breakfast, which was very lovely. I have to say here that I really love flying. I love it. Especially when I have a window seat. Because, if not too tired, I will stare out the window the whole flight and look at the clouds and the stuff beneath us, watch how houses and people and cars get smaller, take pictures of sunsets and sunrises - I just really enjoy flying.
After arriving at Heathrow Airport I took the tube to Tottenham Court Road, which was the best station to find my hotel from. Which I didn't. Well, not immediately. I walked around for at least half an hour trying to get a wifi signal somewhere so I could google my hotel. I did find it in the end. But waaaaaay to early. They had said my room would be available around 2pm, and when I arrived it was something between 10 and 11am. I could leave my baggage at the reception, which I did, and then went out to, well, get to know the place. But I had made some mistakes in my thought process. Which you will understand after you read the entry I made in a notebook.
It's 11am. I'm sitting in a Starbucks somewhere near Oxford Street in London. My coffee is still too hot to drink, but it's standing here waiting for me. When confronted with the fact that I couldn't go to my room until 2pm, I reacted very very stupidly. Because I took literally nothing more with me than my phone (with 30% charge at the time) and money. I could've just simply taken my bag. But no. I left it with the other one at the reception. Stupid me. So I went out, walked a bit until I found a McDonald's, where I ate some crappy breakfast burgers. Then I went to Sainsbury's to buy a pen and this notebook. And then I came here. To spend the remaining three hours. I just wanna shower actually. And be alone for a bit. Until I go to Madame Tussauds at around 3pm. My phone is at 15% now by the way. Not sure if I can find back to my hotel without my phone, though. Hopefully. Coffee is still hot as.....whatevers. I don't think I'll ever go alone on vacation ever again. I've only been here for what, two hours? I don't like being alone in a place I don't know that well. I feel odd. And am a bit afraid. And with my thing with many people in little space this all doesn't get much better. I hate being in crowded places. At least this place is rather empty. God, I'm so tired. What I love about this place is the language, though. I love English. And I love the accents. Very very much. But enough of my chit-chat. Imma write a bit now.
And then I wrote. I wrote a little Leverage ficlet. It did the job.
In the end, I went back to my hotel with 1% charge left on my phone. After I got lost trying to pass time. But hey, I found the place again and all was well. I took my shower, I was alone. Then I went to Madame Tussauds (nearly panicked on the way because I thought I was going to be too late) and it was awesome. I took loads of pictures and selfies and I enjoyed the place very much. Looking back, my first day alone in London was a great success. *happy face*
A Foggy Day in London Town
We wrote Wednesday, October 21st, it had been 8am and I had probably just woken up. Looking outside the window I saw what I had heard after waking up: it was raining pretty effing strong. But hey, that's London, amiright? Well anyway. On Wednesday I actually planned on getting up at around 9am, but I was an hour too early. Well, didn't matter, because this way I was able to watch the Agents of SHIELD episode that had just come out the night before. Which was great. To get you a clearer picture of what was going on in my head, have here another excerpt from my notebook.
It's half past nine in the morning, I'm sitting in that same Starbucks again, drinking my coffee and eating my croissant. It's raining pretty strong. But hey, it's London. What'd you expect. At 11.15am my two friends David and Philipp will arrive at London Euston, coming down from Coventry where they visited another friend of ours, Gabriel. [...] Today I woke up an hour earlier than I planned, but that way I could watch the new Agents of SHIELD episode, which was very very cool. Loving that May is back at SHIELD. Coulson still loves her very much. God It's raining so much. I don't wanna go outside. But I have to go back to the hotel to get more money. And then I have to go meet my friends. Sigh. Going soon.
And then I went. Got back to my hotel, grabbed the money, went to the tube station, travelled to London Euston where I had to wait quite a bit for my friends to arrive. Because, as usual, I was there too early. I scribbled a bit in my notebook to pass the time, thought about writing another ficlet, but then decided on drawing.
When they finally arrived I felt so happy. Not alone anymore. Yay! No seriously, it was very comforting to know someone. And I could finally talk to people. It was very good having them there. Well anyway, I helped them find their hotel so they could put their stuff away. After lunch we walked a bit on Oxford Street, went to Starbucks, Waterstones and HMV. It was a great afternoon. I really enjoyed it. At around 5pm we split again, because I would go and see Hamlet that evening. Which I was very much looking forward to. As shows my notebook.
It is 5:16pm now. I'm back at my hotel, listening to Absolute Radio. Hanging out with Phil and Dave was great. Finally someone to talk to. God. We went to Starbucks, visited some bookstores n'shit. And then went to McDonald's to eat. Maybe we'll chill out again after Hamlet. We will see. I have about an hour of free time now. Will leave around 6pm. I'm looking forward to the piece like VERY FUCKEN MUCH. I mean, it's the Batch. LIVE! And maybe I can catch a picture at Stage Door.
That was that. On the way to Barbican Centre I nearly drove crazy because I forgot to bring an ID, which was necessary, apparently. Well, I did get in without one in the end, so no need to be stressed about that anymore. I sat next to a couple of Germans, who did not know that I could understand them, but that was okay. Sadly, I did not buy a programme, which I still regret now. It's a lovely thing to have. Well anyway. The play began at 7:15pm.
For those of you who have seen it, you understand me. It is hilariously, amazingly, tragically perfect. I mean it was a real joy watching this play. Starting out with Benedict alone on stage, mourning 'his' father, it was a great opening. It just took you in and did not let you go anymore. I still find it so amazing how much presence Ben has in a room. He has this beautiful confidence, I don't know. It was just very very thrilling. And his voice, dear baby Jesus, his voice. I should actually just give up to tell you about this play. I just cannot fathom my thoughts. It was truly mind blowing. The whole play through I had this grin on my lips, this proud smile, because he did it. Benedict had made history. I-...wow. Just wow. And then you'd think it couldn't get any better. You will stand corrected. The play is over, all the actors are on stage, bowing. And then he asks for silence, for attention. And proceeds to hit you with the biggest and most emotional hammer right in your face. He talks with so much passion about how they had been able to collect money for the refugees and he pleads, he begs for us to think, to truly think about what having a home means. And he talks with this eloquence, those beautiful words. He could've put his sword right through my heart and I wouldn't have minded. Because what he tells the audience after every play, every night, is so damn beautiful you cannot not give something. Sigh. Wow. I'm just overwhelmed again right now.
He reads the beautiful poem Home by Somali poet Warsan Shire during that speech, and I just feel like I should put the part he read here as well. You can find the whole poem here.
“no one leaves home unless
home is the mouth of a shark
you only run for the border
when you see the whole city running as well”
It makes me cry everytime I read it. It also includes the beautiful line "No one puts children in a boat unless the water is safer than the land." And here's Benedict's speech as well. Watch it, listen to it. It truly touches your heart.
Mooooving on now. Where was I...
Ah, yes. Well. After the play I, obviously, went out to Stage Door to get a chance for an autograph or a selfie with Benedict, or to at least thank him for what he's done and what he's still doing, and tell him he's doing a tremendous job. I waited with all the others. Waited long. It was cold. But it was at least not raining. We stood there and finally after some time the first actors came out. It did not take long until all of them were through and gone. But for one. Benedict had not shown up yet. Not long after all the others were through, a nice woman from the Barbican Centre came out and said that he had already left and, for that matter, would not be doing Stage Door tonight.
Head hanging low, quite sad, I walked back to Barbican Station to catch the tube. I was torn. I did not know how I should feel. The evening was absolutely fantastic and I loved every second of it. But on the other hand, Benedict was why I even came here. I don't think I would've watched the play if it had not been for him. So I was rather disappointed that he did not show up. But then again I understood. I mean, he has a little kid and a wife at home and you don't wanna be gone for too long. I really understood him. So I was really torn. Not sure what I should do with the fact that I did not get to meet him.
I went back to Tottenham Court Road where Phil and Dave were already expecting me. We then went out and walked about the city for a while, then went into a McDonald's and had a midnight snack, so to speak. They were a good distraction. I would've probably sulked way more if I had just went back to my hotel that night. But I didn't, so yay, night saved. Or so.
London Blues
Thursday, October 22nd. In the morning I accompanied Phil and Dave to the tube station to say goodbye and show them where they had to go to make it to Heathrow Airport. It had been really nice having them there. Nice distraction. We had a good day and a half. Really good. After that I went back into sulking mood, I suppose. I was alone again, I did not get to meet Ben the day before, I was tired, I was sad. Boo :(
But the day would only get better. I didn't do much in the morning after Phil and Dave left, but in the afternoon I had to go to Baker Street. The pick up point for Warner Bros. Studio Tour: The Making of Harry Potter was there. I got there way to early, as usual, and sat in the cold. There were lots of French families going as well, so their little kids ran all around me, being French and rather annoying. Well, the one boy was cute in the beginning but then he started to be annoying as well.
When the bus finally arrived I took a seat and waited for it to begin. To my surprise there was a little TV in the bus. I was still kinda sulking about the day before, but when the driver started the film and the melody came on, I was flashed and completely absorbed by this event. They played the first Harry Potter film. And oh was I smiling like a freak in that bus. It was one of the best bus rides I ever had, for the film alone. But it would only get better.
We arrived at the studios around 4.30pm, I suppose. And then I walked into that building and what happened for the next four hours was pure childhood and it tore me apart. The theme song was playing everywhere, there was Harry's room under the stairs from Privet Drive, there were props and costumes and oh my god. I, wow. I mean, seriously. You cannot imagine what it is like going through these halls if you have not been there.
First we got to watch a film about the studios, kinda behind the scenes stuff, with actors and everything. And then we could walk into the Great Hall. And Oh. My. God. It was everything you would ever dream of. I walked through this studio like the biggest doofus, big grin on my face, shiny lil' eyes. My heart exploding. Because I went there in the Halloween season, they had people walk around as Death Eaters, which was awesome-sauce. Well, I really can barely talk about this whole thing. I just cannot put it into words. But what killed me most of all was the "miniature" of the castle, of Hogwarts. I-....I nearly broke down into tears in that room. Also the train, though. That was a dream come true. Sitting in a booth, walking through the train, hell, standing on platform 9 3/4 alone was just mindblowing.
But what was the worst was the souvenir shop. It comes right after the castle. And you wanna buy everything. Everything. Really, all of it. It doesn't even matter what house you think is the best, you wanna have all the things. All the shirts and hoodies and scarfs and all the wands and the pictures and just everything. I sadly only had money for three things, so I bought something for a friend and the "Have You Seen This Wizard" Sirius Black shirt and also his wand. Because you gotta, right?
But to show you how I really felt about this place, I can only give you the notebook entry I wrote in the coffee shop of the place. Here ya go.
My heart hurts. It's crying. For a time five years gone. This place is as magical as you'd expect. I'm really just flashed. The music, the pictures, the props, the EVERYTHING. It's pure childhood and a walk down memory lane. I really feel like I could break down and just weep. It's heartbreaking somehow. I mean, this were ten years of my life! The first book that was honestly and purely mine was "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban". The first book I've ever loved. Sirius Black is to date still my all time favourite character in literature. I am so nostalgic right now. I could honest to God just start to cry. I could not imagine a childhood without Harry Potter. I just can't.
My tweets about it are by the way not looking any better. That place really killed me. On the way back they continued the film, but I didn't get to see it until the end because I got out at an earlier stop. Welp. That day is definitely to be scored as a very big success! :D
All Over London
Thank God, it's Friday. Or, well, I don't know. I wasn't really feeling superb that day. HP Studio left me thinking about my childhood, about my family and especially my dad and brother. But given the time that has passed since that particular Friday, I'd rather show you (again) what I wrote that day.
It's Friday. 12:40. Noon. I'm sitting in a Pret-A-Manger, just had a lovely ham and egg sandwich and still have coke and coffee, listening to music. I'm in London. An 8.5 million city. With terrifyingly lots of tourists. And you know what? I am depressingly lonely. I feel so alone. This feeling of "you're the only person on this planet" is very enclosing. Doesn't make a lot of sense, I know. I just don't feel well right now. Next time I'm definitely taking Angie with me. Or Salome. Having some sort of anxiety that involves great uncomfortability in big masses of people doesn't make this place any better. I mean, I felt great being here with Dave and Phil. I felt great in Madame Tussauds, at the theatre and at the Studio yesterday. But now? In this café? I'm feeling shitty as hell. Lonely and depressed. Sad. I really wanna go home actually.
But, mind you, I did not sulk all day in that Pret-A-Manger. I decided to do something that was comforting to me. And books are comforting. Very. So I decided to go to that Waterstones again I was in on Wednesday with Dave and Phil. I thought I'd find it without a problem. "It's on Oxford Street, that should be easy to find" I thought. Well, how do I put that... It wasn't. I got hopelessly lost. After giving up looking for that bloody bookstore, I desperately searched for a toilet. Well, what I found wasn't what I was looking for. But it was also water and stones. After some time of randomly walking around I found myself standing at the edge of the River Thames, staring right at the London Eye across the river. Well, I thought, at least there would be a toilet. And there was! So we could call that a success. I did take some pictures of the London Eye and Big Ben there because, I mean, I was there already, so why not. I also tried to find the lil' drawing Corinne left me three years ago, but it wasn't there anymore. Which does not surprise me actually.
After my failed attempt to find a bookstore I made my way back to my hotel, grabbed some food somewhere on the way and made myself a relaxed evening in my hotel. I really did not do that much on Friday, besides getting lost.
Evening in London
Saturdays are nice days, don't you think? I do rather like them. On my Saturday in London I did a bit of this and a bit of that. But I can best show you that with what I wrote in my notebook. Because boy had I time to write. It is by the way a wonder that I can still read what I wrote that week. I have a horrible scrawl.
Hello again. It is 2:36pm, I'm sitting at Starbucks with my coffee and innocent. At the table next to me sit four Swiss women, chit-chatting, gossiping. Today I made the big mistake of walking through Oxford Street. It's Saturday, it's London. There are millions of people! And I hate 'em all. It's raining again, by the way. I wanna go home to my hotel again, but I don't think my room's been cleaned yet. I'm also fighting with myself about tonight a bit. I planned on going back to the Barbican Centre tonight on time for Stage Door to catch a selfie with Benedict, but I have doubts. What if he doesn't do it tonight either? What if someone recognizes me? I just don't know. Oh, god news! I can work at FashionFriends again next week. Looking forward to that very very much. Because hey: it's a job. My headache is getting worse in this noise. God, I'm so tired. The Swiss women just left. And I think they forgot a bag. But maybe it's just trash. [...] Also, I'm (still) sad. I feel alone. I just wanna sleep. But I guess the possibility of meeting Benedict could make me feel better. So maybe I'm going. I'm somehow looking forward to going home again. Because I'll not be so alone anymore. I have my family there. Any my friends. I feel very tired. And sentimental. And nostalgic. It's 3pm now. I'll probably go back to the hotel soon. Yes. Sigh.
Well, I did go back to the hotel shortly after. I spend the afternoon watching Leverage and building myself up for the night. Because I had decided to go. I had to. Kinda. Well, after watching loads of episodes of the show, I packed my stuff together and left to get dinner. Which concluded in me sitting back at Starbucks at some point and writing again. Which you can read below.
Well, here we are again. Same Starbucks, same coffee, same orange juice. It's 8pm. The play will end around 10.20pm. And I will creep around Stage Door at, I suppose, 10pm. It's the last chance I have. Tomorrow is none. I checked. I wanted to try for one of the thirty 10£ tickets they sell there every day, but no luck there. No play on Sundays. So I gotta go tonight. Monday I'm leaving. And I don't know if I'll ever get the chance to meet him again. So I'm going. Tonight. And hopefully he will be doing Stage Door tonight, hopefully I will get my selfie with him. Hopefully. This would make my holiday really worth it. Cuz it is, initially, what I came here for. It was all about him. The rest is just icing on top of the cake, really. So without that picture, there is not really a cake. Maybe a muffin, yes, but no cake. And I want. That. Cake. But enough of that. I need to entertain myself again. So writing it is.
And so I wrote again. But I'm not gonna tell you about that. There is too much important stuff to tell about that Evening in London. I couldn't sit there and just wait until I had to take the tube. I was getting restless. So I got up after I finished my drinks, left the Starbucks and went on the tube. I was there waaaay to early. But guess what? There were others there already as well. I took my place at the front, next to two German fangirls. One of them complimented my Sirius Black shirt, I said thank you, but did not show that I understood every word they said. It was way too funny that way. And so we waited. In the cold. The play ended, people came out of the theatre, some of them leaving, some of them standing behind us, waiting for the actors as well. Not much after the play ended, a guy dressed in a purple barbican shirt came out and said that Benedict was not likely to come and do Stage Door tonight. There were loads of disappointed sighs, but nobody dared to leave, because what if. You wanna know what I did?
They said he probably ain't coming out, so I said, by God he will. And that's what I did. I prayed. I said to the Lord that if it weren't meant to be for me to meet Ben, then I wouldn't have gotten a ticket in the first place. I mean, why would I have? And so I prayed and prayed and then began to hum "Our God is an awesome God" over and over again.
The other actors came and went. There was a little wooooing when Ciarán Hinds (he played Hamlet's uncle, the King's brother) came out. He was brilliant, by the way. Very convincing.
And I kept humming the song. I kept doing that. I got my ticket out, prepared my phone, and just kept humming. And then he came out. Oh, he was lovely. I watched how he signed other people's tickets and programs and talked a bit, I snapped a few pictures from afar and prepared what I wanted to say to him once it was my turn. I wanted to thank him for what he was doing, tell him that he was brilliant, that the play was amazing. And then politely ask for a selfie. That was the plan.
Well, he came along, signed the German girls's stuff, then stood in front of me, took the ticket that I held to him and signed. But before that he looked at me, tired but happy, and smiled a little. All my plans kicked the curb. I managed to say Hi and Thanks after he handed me the ticket back and then asked for the selfie. He was very lovely about it. He told me that sure, he would take a picture with me, told me to set it up and tell him when I'm ready, he would sign along meanwhile. And so I told him when I was ready, we snapped the picture, he waved, I said thank you, he said pleasure and then signed along.
I climbed out of the masses of people pressing against me, waving their stuff at Ben, and got out to breathe a little. I started to walk away when they started clapping, so I turned and clapped as well. He waved goodbye and off he went.
Oh he is very lovely. Beautiful human being. Very natural. Very...very human. And touchable for that matter. He doesn't seem like this untouchable figure of stardom like maybe a Angelina Jolie or a Brad Pitt does. It was.... it was an amazing experience. And I will never forget it. I will treasure that in my heart forever. I will.
After that I went home, grinning slightly all the time. Having a good time. Looking at the picture every other minute. Staring at my ticket, stunned. It was worth it. It had definitely been the right decision to go. I would not have missed it for anything, looking back at it. Sigh. I'm being nostalgic again right now.
Looking Down on London
There is no better way to tell you about Sunday, October 25th than to let you look into my notebook. Because that little book that I bought out of necessity on the first day was my always comforting companion through this whole week. So yeah, see for yourself.
It was a success! And you know what? I'm happy! I'm not sitting in the Pret-A-Manger across my hotel being all sad and depressed. No! I'm sitting there, happy, smiling to myself, feeling good. Oh, standing in the cold for so long was so worth it. Ben was very lovely. Wished he had more time, though. But hey, he's a busy man. I'm glad I got my selfie and autograph. Thank God for that. God, I'm so happy. My week is made now. It's a bit of a shame he's not on social media. Would've liked to thank him properly. Cause the man is a gift. He's doing so much great work. But enough of that now. It's 11.37am, I'm sitting at Pret's, enjoying coffee & my music. I actually wanted to go to Hillsong Church but, well, I slept. Maybe tonight then. I think I'm gonna go out of the city today. Check out the nature. Go up on a hill or something the like. Find myself some solitude. Cuz I really don't like being surrounded by that many people. But first I have to find a place like that. Seriously, having met Benedict makes this holiday really worth it. I am so damn happy. So, Imma go now. Primrose Hill, here I come.
But before I buggered off into the nature that day, I went into a grocery store, bought my innocent orange juice and some apples. You gotta be healthy sometime, right?
To get to Primrose Hill, I decided to walk through Regent's Park. Which was a brilliant decision. Because that park is beautiful. And despite being rather well visited, you could find some solitude here and there. It was truly a beautiful place. If I lived in London I would probably be there every other weekend. I really enjoyed Queen Mary's rose garden. They were beautiful. It was very lovely. After I made my way through the park, I walked alongside Prince Albert Road to Primrose Hill. The sight you got from there is extraordinary. Truly beautiful. Enjoyed sitting in the grass for a while and just relax. It was what I needed that day, really. Relaxed me very much.
In the end, I did not go to Hillsong Church that evening. I relaxed in the hotel. It was a good idea. But truly, that day was a great one. Very relaxing, very beautiful, the weather was perfect.
From London With Love
Monday, October 26th. That was my last day in London. And a very exhausting one. I did not leave my hotel room until a bit before noon. Then I ate lunch and afterwards went to Starbucks (as always) for one last time. Had a little chat with one of the women working there, cuz she recognized me, because I always went to the same Starbucks. If I come back to London some time, I will definitely go to that one again. Or at least visit once.
I left the place around 3pm and took the tube to Heathrow Airport. Stood the whole fifty minutes. Then I went through all the check-in and security measures, made my way to the waiting place with a coffee, innocent and a cinnamon swirl (which could've been perfect if it weren't for the disgusting raisins that were in there) and sat down. After some time a cute blond dude sat down two rows down exactly opposite me. We occasionally stared at each other. At some point I, jokingly, wrote the following on twitter: "@ very cute blond guy opposite me at @HeathrowAirport next to A11 with the mac book, please know that i'm a girl and please do not be gay"
Shortly after, the official twitter account of Heathrow Airport wished me the best luck and hoped that I managed to get his attention. He, sadly, had just then left. Which the airport was very sad to hear but it hoped I had a great evening nonetheless. Having an airport as your wingman is....great.
Well, with cute blond gone I was rather bored. My flight was hella delayed, as were all flights to Switzerland, and in the end I ended up so late, that I missed my last train that could've brought me to my lil' village. So my mom had to pick me up half way through. Yeah. And I worked the next day, which was very exhausting.
But yeah well, that was my week in London. The post is terrifyingly long, I know, but I hope you enjoyed reading my crap. Cuz it only took a whole afternoon to write it all down. Hehe.
Well, whatever. I wish y'all a good time for now, until I write again.
Cheers!
*happy person cuz I met The Batch*
#blog post#long post#london#benedict cumberbatch#hamlet#harry potter#warner bros studios#import from old blog
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New from Kevin Wozniak on Kevflix: Most Anticipated Movies of 2020
Every year, hundreds of movie are released. From micro-budget indies to gigantic blockbusters, the year the full of movies of all kinds from all around the world. There are films that come out of nowhere (seriously, who saw Parasite being the movie of 2019?) which are always fun to see, and movies we have been hearing about for years finally being released. But of the ones that I know are coming out this year, these are the ones that I am most excited for.
And look, I know we’re already almost a quarter of the way through 2020, but let’s be real, there wasn’t a lot of exciting movies coming out in January and February anyway. The only films from the first couple months that would have made this list would have been Bad Boys for Life, and possibly The Invisible Man. However, starting in March, 2020 gets really exciting, so it seemed like the perfect time to do this list.
Here are my most anticipated movies coming out in 2020.
*NOTE* – I am excluding any film that I saw at Sundance 2020.
25. THE LAST DANCE (Jason Hehir, June 26)
Is it cheating to have ESPN’s 10-part docuseries about the Chicago Bulls during their historic 1997-1998 season on this list? Maybe. But as a life-long Bulls fan, I cannot wait to see the footage they show, the insight they get, and for them to show just insane and competitive Michael Jordan was. This should be a real treat to any sports fan.
24. VENOM 2 (Andy Serkis, October 2)
Venom was pretty silly, but rather fun and Tom Hardy’s performance was something special. The sequel brings in the great Woody Harrelson to play Cletus Kasady/Carnage and pits Andy Serkis behind the camera, which should add more chaos to an already wild film.
23. SOUL (Pete Docter, June 19)
Pixar has two original movies coming out this year, Onward and Soul. Of the two, I am more excited to see Soul, mainly because I think the story sounds more interesting – it’s about a musician who has lost his passion for music is transported out of his body and must find it back – and co-director Pete Docter has yet to have made a bad movie (his previous films include Monster’s Inc., Up, and Inside Out).
22. GHOSTBUSTERS: AFTERLIFE (Jason Reitman, July 10)
Though I was a big fan of Paul Feig’s 2016 female-led reboot, bringing back most of the original cast (R.I.P. Harold Ramis) and adding Paul Rudd in the mix could make for a great summer flick.
21. THE ETERNALS (Chloé Zhao, November 6)
Black Widow is a near sure-thing for Marvel, but The Eternals, a relatively unknown part of Marvel with all new heroes and actors, will set the stage for the future of the MCU following the Endgame finale.
20. THE CONJURING: THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT (Michael Chaves, September 11)
I love the Conjuring franchise, particularly the Conjuring films, but with James Wan not behind the camera, I have my hesitations.
19. GODZILLA VS KONG (Adam Wingard, November 20)
This franchise might be incredibly stupid and all over the place, but being able to see King Kong and Godzilla duke it out on the big screen will be ridiculously fun.
18. COMING 2 AMERICA (Craig Brewer, December 18)
Between Dolemite is My Name and his hosting duties on Saturday Night Live, Eddie Murphy proved that even after a few missteps, he was still the man. Coming 2 America is the sequel I didn’t know I needed, as Murphy reprises his role as Akeem who finds out he has a long-lost son in the United States.
17. MULAN (Niki Caro, March 27)
Save for 2019’s The Lion King, I genuinely like the Disney live-action remakes. Mulan looks gorgeous and epic and given the PG-13 rating (the first of these movies), looks to be a bit more intense than the animated original.
16. NO TIME TO DIE (Cary Joji Fukunaga, November 25)
Usually I’d be more excited for a James Bond movie, but after the dud that was Spectre, I have my hesitations. Still, Daniel Craig is one of the best Bonds ever and Fukunaga is an interesting choice for director, so I’m at the very least intrigued.
15. A QUIET PLACE PART II (John Krasinski, March 20)
I LOVED the first film and thought John Krasinski showed a real talent behind the camera and really am excited to see what he does next in this world. However, I wish he had focused the movie on another family or person during this bizarre invasion/crises, but we’ll see where he takes this story.
14. LAST NIGHT IN SOHO (Edgar Wright, September 25)
Genre-maestro Edgar Wright dives back into the horror genre in a film about one girl’s mysterious journey into the 1960’s that isn’t what it seems. Anya Taylor-Joy and Thomasin McKenzie lead the cast.
13. THE SOUVENIR: PART II
Joanna Hogg’s The Souvenir, a powerful, beautiful look at love, trauma, and memory, was one of my favorite films of 2019 and a film I still think about to this day. I cannot wait to see what Hogg does with Part II, as this is one of my most anticipated sequels of the year.
12. MALIGNANT (James Wan, August 14)
The plot is unknown as of yet, but it’s an original James Wan horror movie and that is all I need to see this movie.
11. DUNE (Denis Villeneuve, December 18)
I love Denis Villeneuve as a director and am always excited for any project he is a part of. However, with such a big cast, budget, and the general idea of a Dune movie at this scale, is this going to be a “good” movie or just the “most” movie?
10. THE TRIAL OF THE CHICAGO 7 (Aaron Sorkin, October 2)
Any Aaron Sorkin screenplay gets me excited. Even though it is the same in every movie, I am a sucker for the pacing and density of his words. With 2017’s Molly’s Game, Sorkin proved that we was great behind the camera as well. Having written A Few Good Men (one of the best courtroom dramas ever), The Trial of the Chicago 7 looks to be right up Sorkin’s alley, and with the likes of Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Eddie Redmayne, Jeremy Strong, Michael Keaton, Frank Langella, and Sacha Baron Cohen, and Mark Rylance reciting his dialog, this seems like it could be a Sorkin classic.
9. F9 (Justin Lin, May 22)
The Fast and Furious franchise is one of my favorites. It is an utterly insane franchise that features ridiculous stunts, gigantic set pieces, some racing, and the theme of family. I don’t know what F9 has in store for us except for Charlize Theron is back as our villain Cipher, John Cena is in the film as Dominic Toretto’s (Vin Diesel) brother, and Han (Sung Kang) is back some how. Whatever. I’m in.
8. NOMADLAND (Chloé Zhao, TBD)
The fact that we could get two films from the great Chloe Zhao in 2020 gives us a brief insight as to how great 2020 is going to be. Though Eternals will arguably be the movie that shapes the MCU for the next decade, I’m more looking forward to Zhao’s look at woman (two-time Oscar winner Francis McDormand) as she embarks across the American West after losing everything in the Great Recession.
7. THE FRENCH DISPATCH (Wes Anderson, July 24)
Wes Anderson is one of the best and most unique auteurs working today. All of his movies are wildly original, wonderfully written, gorgeous to look at, and feature a stellar cast and The French Dispatch looks to have all of that and then some.
6. TOP GUN: MAVERICK (Christopher McQuarrie, June 26)
Tom Cruise is one of my favorite actors and his partnership with writer/director Christopher McQuarrie has been one of his best career choices. Their latest collaboration pits Cruise back in the cockpit (literally) as he reprises his legendary role as Maverick in this sequel to the 80’s classic Top Gun. Val Kilmer returns as Iceman and we get a slew of new cast members such as Glen Powell, Jennifer Connelly, Jon Hamm, Ed Harris, and Miles Teller as Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw, the son of Maverick’s late-friend Goose. I’m most interested in the meta-narrative of the film, as Maverick’s career in the Navy seems to replicate Cruise’s as a movie-star, which has been a fascinating one.
5. WONDER WOMAN 1984 (Patty Jenkins, June 5)
Does the DCEU still exist? Who knows and honestly, who care? But back in 2017 when it was in full swing and doing miserably, Gal Gadot and Patty Jenkins came and shook the game up. Wonder Woman is one of my favorite comic book movies ever It was a thrilling, funny, action-packed film that features one of the greatest superhero moments ever on camera with the “No Man’s Land” scene. There has only been one teaser for Wonder Woman 1984 and it already looks incredible. Gadot looks great, Chris Pine is back, Kristen Wiig and Pedro Pascal are the villains, and every visual esthetic, from the costumes to the sets to the color pallet look great. Oh, and did I mention Wonder Woman swings from lightning bolts using her lasso? No? Well that, and I’m sure many more exciting moments like that are going to happen in my most anticipated comic book movie and sequel of 2020.
4. WEST SIDE STORY (Steven Spielberg, December 18)
This is the most interesting and weirdest film on the list, yet it is one I genuinely cannot wait to see. Everyone knows West Side Story, the legendary Romeo and Juliet reimagining about two lovers from rival gangs that won numerous awards for its stage play and ten Oscars when it was adapted to the big screen. The fact that this latest adaptation is directed by Steven Spielberg and written by Tony Kushner is what makes it intriguing. Spielberg has never made a musical and his films of late have been quieter, politically-focused films (save for The BFG and Ready Player One). How will he fare in an adaptation of one of the most beloved plays of all-time and one of the greatest cinematic musicals ever? Spielberg is a master director, so this is bound to be interesting.
3. DA 5 BLOODS (Spike Lee, TBD)
For a while there, I thought Spike Lee had lost it. Having not made a great movie since 2002’s 25th Hour, it looked like Lee had lost all of his creative spark, making some of the worst movies of his career. But with 2017’s BlackKklansman, writer/director Spike Lee proved that he still had the goods and that he was just as great as he was in 90’s. Da 5 Bloods, a title I love, Lee heads to the jungle of Vietnam, as veterans from the Vietnam War return to the jungle to find their lost innocence. Starring Chadwick Boseman, Paul Walter Hauser, and a slew of great character actors in Delroy Lindo, Isaiah Whitlock Jr., Clarke Peters, Giancarlo Esposito, and Jean Reno, let’s see is Lee can keep his streak alive.
2. MANK (David Fincher, TBD)
It’s been seven years since David Fincher directed a feature film. The Oscar-nominated director spend that back-half of the 2010’s focusing on producing Netflix shows like Mindhunter, House of Cards, and Love,Death, & Robots, so at least he was staying busy. Director’s latest cinematic venture follows screenwriter Herman J. Mankiewicz’s tumultuous development of Orson Welles’ iconic masterpiece Citizen Kane. The great Gary Oldman stars and Mankiewicz and Tom Burke, who gave one of the great breakout performances of 2019 in The Souvenir, stars as Welles in a performance I cannot wait to see. It’s one of my favorite directors making a movie about one of the greatest movies ever made. How can I not be excited?
1. TENET (Christopher Nolan, July 17)
Is Christopher Nolan the best director working today? There’s a strong case for it. After a decade that saw Nolan make films like Inception, Interstellar, and Dunkirk, he’s back with yet another original action epic. The plot of the film is unknown as of yet, but it has something to do with globe trotting espionage and time travel. The cast is Nolan’s most impressive since Inception, featuring spectacular actors such as John David Washington, Robert Pattinson, Elizabeth Debicki, Kenneth Branagh, and Nolan’s favorite, Michael Caine. Nobody makes movies like Christopher Nolan. Every film he makes is an event and in a year with no Star Wars and a mysterious Marvel slate, Tenet is the cinematic event of 2020 and the perfect way to start the decade.
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