I don’t understand the concept of sex as the natural progression of romance. I understand having sex, I understand how it can be romantic, I just don’t understand how it is seen as the only course that romance takes.

Like love confessions immediately turning to sex is always so ???????? to me. Like ok get it I guess but how did we get here???

hi. i made some images.

feel free to take them and use for whatever you may need them for. no credit required

[ID: A meme from a TikTok of a man looking out pensively over a porch, with the caption edited to read: "I bring a sort of "communicate or breakup" Vibe to relationship advice that alloros don’t really like." End ID]

I don't think younger/newer users fully grasp the shit show that ace discourse was around 2014-17

It was so hostile that, to this day, discussions that begin to derail just enough can make me physically nauseous, some specific mockery trigger crying sessions years later. We lost most accounts with any sort of ace positivity. There was no information, no support, and all this damage was done predominantly by other queer people.

All this to say that you, however you identify yourself, should be engaging with aphobic comments the same way you do any hate. We don't sugarcoat or try to be comprehensive with people who are blatantly racist, homophobic or terfs, so why give it a pass just because it's coming from a queer person? I see how this tolerance goes and it's done enough damage as it is.

this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...

Saw an aroace character being shipped. 7 dead, 247 injured.

Arospec acceptance leaving peoples' bodies the moment an aro person describes themselves as loveless and/or aplatonic and doesn't actually "make up" for their lack of attraction by platonically loving other people a lot

starting to feel like part of the reason that Sam and Celia's romance thing feels a little off rn is cuz like. what do you mean they're actually dating. he asked her on a date and she said yes. and it's working out so far. it's chill and fine. what do you mean they're not pining for 4 seasons, not communicating, and then getting together only after one of them walked through hell to drag the other out and make sure they know they're loved and wanted. they haven't even patched each other's wounds yet hello. aren't y'all moving a little fast.

storytime invitation?? i guess thats what youd call it

how did you know you were aromantic/asexual/aroace?

i knew i was ace from the moment i learned what sex was, like ummm!!! you can keep that to yourself actually

i realized i was aro way later (after i made this post actually), after my first real break up and was kinda like.. that was NOT it???? idk my idea of romance has always been just cuddles and quality time and i realized that's not the same for other people ??? people actually have a DESIRE to kiss other people????? absolutely not.

No hold on I'm gonna make an extra post about this:

I wouldn't choose to be alloromantic

If I were given the choice to either remain aro or become alloro again, I would choose aromanticism.

And I think a lot of people need to hear that.

tall people problems

"you can't be aromantic if-" actually labels are inherently personal, you aren't entitled to know why i picked a label, and also i can do whatever the fuck i want

I love being aromantic. I literally cannot relate to things that are universal experiences to the vast majority of the population but I still assume everyone else is making shit up and I'm just normal for not buying it

Imagine romance is a song.

Yes, a song. A song you don't find particularly good or bad. It's ok, you don't mind occasionally listening to it, you might even enjoy it sometimes.

But then you realize this song is everywhere. It keeps you company while you are buying groceries, you go to school/work and all of your classmates/colleagues are listening to it, you hear strangers on the street singing the lyrics. Your favourite artist covers it. It goes viral on every possible platform. You turn on the radio and every single station plays it.

There is no way to escape it.

How do you feel then? Frustrated. Exhausted. Angry. Most likely you'll start hating the song. You wouldn't want to hear a single second of it anymore. You could get annoyed at your friends who keep talking about it. You even might feel like you are going crazy. Not a bright scenario, is it?

So next time you hear a bitter aro complain about amatonormativity please understand one thing: the problem isn't "romance is bad", it's "romance is everywhere".

Being asexual and possibly aromantic but also being a huge shipper and hopeless romantic is such a wild experience ngl. I'm always freaking out about my favorite ships and giggling internally reading ship fics, getting invested in characters finally kissing or reading about their pining and their love and I think "I want what they have!!"

But then sometimes you have a slamming realization that your sweet shipping scenarios you imagine in your head look totally different irl and that you are extremely aspec.

One time I went down a YouTube rabbit hole and stumbled across Vsauce's "Why Do We Kiss?" video and let me tell you. When I saw that stock video footage of two people kissing each other I was a little flabbergasted lmaooo

i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as a binary i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as a sliding scale of "less" to "more" i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as the only two options i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as significantly different things i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as all encompassing i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as the two halves of a shallow concept of love that doesn't actually encompass anything at all i think we need to overhaul every popular conception about "types" of love so we can talk about things that are real and true for once