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#one person works at a time on saturdays like use common sense and also get fucked for being annoying i hate you all!!!!!! GRRRRR BITE BITE
hellfireeddiemunson · 4 months
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finally having time to myself since 3pm yesterday (it’s 11pm rn) and i want to stay up and relax and watch stuff so i can have a nice time by myself before having to work tomorrow but i am EXHAUSTED and also want to sleep so bad😭😭😭
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littlemissaddict · 6 days
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To Eddie it was a usual Saturday movie night around Steve's until it wasn't. Well there was the usual suspects Robin, Nancy, Jonathan and the kids but there was someone new, someone he'd only heard them talk about in passing but now she was here.
He'd managed to wait until after the first movie when she'd gone to help Nancy in the kitchen after the pizza delivery. "So what's her deal? How come she just shows up out of the blue? I mean it's a small town, everyone knows everyone but I've never heard of her until you all mentioned her" he asks, trying to keep his voice low so she can't hear.
"Jeez calm down, there's more to her than meets the eye in fact you are both probably more alike than you think" Robin reveals which leaves Eddie with even more questions, questions that he doesn’t get to ask as she and Nancy enter the room with the food.
They all make it through another movie before Eddie stands up declaring he needs a smoke break. "Anyone joining me?" He asks to which everyone declines. Shrugging his shoulders, Eddie turns and heads through to the kitchen towards the back door.
"Actually I think I could use a bit of fresh air" she says to no one in particular, pushing up off the couch and stretching her body out.
"But you don't smoke" Nancy pipes up.
"And is it really fresh air if your just inhaling second hand smoke?" Mike adds with a roll of his eyes.
Max clearly sensing what was going on reaches over and smacks Mike upside his head. She shoots the younger girl a grateful smile and follows the way Eddie went just moments earlier.
She cracks the door open as quietly as she can, not wanting to scare Eddie. Though it doesn't seem like it would have mattered anyway, he's sitting on one of the sun loungers over by the pool staring up into the sky at the stars overhead.
"They're so much prettier out here" she says softly as she joins him, taking a seat on the sun lounger next to him. Eddie doesn't flinch, she guesses he heard her coming, only hums in response as he takes another drag from his cigarette. "I used to love coming out here as a kid, life's so much slower than in the big city, you know you wouldn't find anyone just sitting around stargazing but then again there's too much light there so you can't really see the stars" she doesn't know why she's telling him this, her mouth running away with her as she settles back into the seat.
They sit in silence as Eddie finishes his cigarette, dropping it in the ashtray he had the foresight to bring out with him. He eyes her up as he turns, trying to work out what to say next without seeming too prying but when she turns towards him having sensed his gaze he decides to just go for it. "So how did you even become friends with them?"
She blinks at him, processing the question and to be fair the topic had never been discussed and she could see where his curiosity was coming from considering she wasn't even from the town. "Nancy," she says finally, "we'd made friends when I used to visit when I was younger and then the rest of the group just kinda claimed me as one of the the last few years" she explained.
Eddie nodded with a smile as he relaxed back into the sun lounger. "Makes sense, you and Nancy seem very alike" he comments, missing the way her nose scrunches in discontempt that he's already seems to have a made up image of her in his head when he doesn't even know her.
"We are alike but we're also not alike in the slightest" she informs him, not that there was anything wrong with being like Nancy, she was smart, pretty and fiercely protective of those she loves but at the same time she was also her own person, not Nancy.
"Coulda fooled me" he smirks, raising his brows in challenge to her to prove him wrong, "but then again the others seem to think the two of us have a lot in common" he adds, disbelief at the words written across his face.
"And they'd be right" she states, a smirk on her own face.
"Yeah, you take three times to graduate high school? Or are you a secret metalhead or something? Got some hidden tattoos you not showing?" He tries, all things that he doesn’t believe fit her.
"No," she replies without hesitation, causing Eddie to interrupt with a scoff, mumbling an 'I thought so' with a smug smile. "You didn’t let me finish," she huffs in frustration at his interruption, "I passed high school first time round, yes I listen to metal and yes I have tattoos" she finishes, feeling quite smug with herself in the way Eddie's now quiet, mouth hung open in disbelief.
"You-you" Eddie stutters at a loss for words, "can I see" he asks, referring to her tattoos.
"Are you asking me to strip? Jeez take a girl out to dinner first" she teases, just to see Eddie splutter some more. Call it payback for the misconception he had of her.
"Are you serious?" He asks, his face tinted red enough to see even in the fading light of the sun.
"About the tattoos, yes, about taking me out to dinner, no unless that's something you'd be interested in" she winks, enjoying the teasing and more so Eddie's reactions considering the loud and boisterous way he'd been so far tonight.
Eddie just stares at her, seemingly deciding what to say when Steve's voice comes from the back door, "are you too going to stay out there all night or can we put another movie on?" He sounds frustrated with the two of them but one look at his face tells them both that the anger is fake, he's probably just happy they're getting along.
She jumps up from the sun lounger, making her way towards the house without even looking if Eddie is following her but then Steve's question about if she's playing nice tells her that he hasn't. "Always" she promises with a sweet smile as she slides through the door and heads towards the rest of the group.
"Come on man" Steve urges as Eddie finally stands, only stopping when he gets to Steve. "Yeah I know, you'll get used to her" Steve chuckles, seeing the look of confusion and awe mixed into one on his face as he ushers him back inside to where the rest of the group were waiting.
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boopsterliv · 2 years
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What’s up bitches, it’s essay time.
I rewatched ‘School Hard’ again today because my younger sister and I are obsessed with Spike and wanted to watch it with our mom. I loved the Bronze scene today just as much as I did yesterday. Namely, because of the expressions and body language exercised by Buffy and Spike.
Spike studies Slayers. That much is obvious. It also ties into the fact that William was a dutiful student and total nerd, which, I mean, same. While Spike is shown to be very impulsive and impatient, he knows when to wait and study his future victims before attacking. We’re told many times how being a slayer takes a serious toll on mental stability, not to mention relationships of any kind. When he seeks out Buffy for the first time at the Bronze, he’s most likely expecting some nervous wreck, or a girl drunk out of her mind to cope with being the Slayer.
Instead, he sees a girl having a good time dancing with her friends. But most importantly, she’s in her element. Buffy is a natural in every sense of the word, and her fighting is definitely like a dance. She knows the moves and when to do them. Not to mention she’s confident in them. She doesn’t like being the Slayer, far from it, but she knows if she has to do it then she’s going to be the best one in history. Buffy is also an extravert, which Spike might’ve expected would make her worse for wear. Instead, she improvises and ties her social needs in with her duties as the Slayer, which makes her a better one in the process.
The looks Spike makes in this scene are also very telling. You can try to tell me he’s only hunting, but he looks awed. We later see how genuinely impressed with her he is. Slayers only last one to two years on average. All the preparation in the world couldn’t keep even Kendra from dying, and she was a potential and raised from a young age to be a strong fighter. Spike can instantly see Buffy is on a whole level. Later on, when watching the video of her fighting, he sounds so genuinely excited that Buffy is resourceful.
Spike sets up the whole alley scene, wanting to get a look at Buffy’s abilities more closely, since he knows she’s gotta be skilled. And she is, and the expression on Buffy’s face shows this isn’t one-sided. She looked genuinely stunned, which makes sense since this dude just showed up out of the darkness and slow clapped her killing one of his kind. But it’s that same sort of awe he had towards her, and I think it’s because she didn’t notice him until he wanted her to, even if the vamp she just dusted called out for his help.
The school scene is the final nail in the coffin (pun entirely intended). True, Spike is not a patient person, but to attack before Saturday when every vampire would be more powerful? He just wanted to fight her because there’s that spark of chemistry between them. On the flip side, Buffy has never met another vamp who’ll banter with her. Who’ll give her a strong challenge, one that she can spar with. The dance is more fun because her partner is on the same page as she is. That fight was probably long compared to the last two battles Spike’s had with the Slayers he’s killed. Buffy’s expression says it all. She’s scared but intrigued.
The debut episode also works well with underlying chemistry. They have a lot more in common than I’ve seen people give them credit for. They’re both incredibly compassionate, feeling individuals who hide their own emotions in order not to worry anyone around them. They're people pleasers to the ones they really want to keep around. They both snark and banter to avoid talking about their feelings. They know how serious the fighting is even though they’re trying to have some sort of fun with it.
They’ve both been burned before. While they’re in steady(?) relationships, both Buffy and Spike have felt wronged by their partner in the past. Buffy wants Angel to be honest with her and stop running away. Spike wants Drusilla to love him as he is instead of using him. They’re both scared of love at the end of the day. You have to imagine Spike’s surprise at the fact a woman he was battling to the death seemed to have more respect for him than Drusilla. Buffy treated him as an equal even if he was a threat. They’re always on the same wavelength it seems. 
Did this make sense as it kept going? I don’t know, you be the judge of that. Did I have fun writing it? One hundred percent, absolutely. My babies get done so dirty by canon. Let them be fluffy, emotional, and horny please! I also didn’t get around to mentioning the soulless part, but I’ll save that rant for another time.
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threewinterbird · 2 years
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Roses and kittens “episode 2″
“Well, Boomer was right,” Hannah declared as she entered the common room that connected their three chambers.
“See? I told you!” Boomer shouted from the corner he was sitting at, a look of smug vindication clear on his face.
“Alright I get it. What actually happened? Boomer was yelling too much to give any details last time” Purpled glanced at Hannah from where he had been sitting.
Hannah recalled her encounter with the interesting opponent. She had certainly made an impression with her opening statement. Hannah admired her confidence to take on Rose alone, however caught off guard she may have been.
“There’s someone who seems to be protecting the realm. She has some sort of power, such as notable strength” Hannah showed her arms, which displayed large bruises from where they had been kicked.
“Which you would have known, Purpled, if you actually listened to me when I got back.” Boomer huffed.
“Well I’m listening now.” Purpled said as he gestured for Hannah to continue. “She also sent me back to a field in Hypixel with an attack. I think she called it some sort of blast? Or maybe a beam. Either way it caught me off guard and took me out of the fight.”
“Yeah!” Boomer interjected “she just came out of nowhere and decked me! She yelled something out and next thing I know, bam! I’m dropped right back into this realm.”
Hannah nodded. It seemed the two of them had both been caught by this person and sent back quickly.
Hannah flopped onto the cushioned seat opposite of Purpled, stretching out her legs to bump him in the side.
She relaxed into the soft seat, positioning a pillow to better support her head. She didn’t have to keep up appearances in this room. No one would dare enter the living quarters of the three champions of Hypixel, especially without prior notice.
With just the presence of Boomer and Purpled, she could afford to be informal and unwind.
Hannah let her head fall back and scooted into a more comfortable position. If it also happened to poke Purpled and annoy him further, it was just an added bonus. “I think we’re going to have to do things a little differently on our missions there from now on” Hannah said, “since it seems our new obstacle is here to stay.”
Purpled pushed her away and got up to leave the room. As he exited, Purpled glanced back at the other two. “Looks like I’ll just have to prepare a bit more then.”
“Good luck with that, Vio.”
Tina’s week had been going relatively normally.
She attended her classes without the disturbances that had occurred in the previous days. She worked her shifts at the Kinoko cafe, and she discussed course materials with a friend and coworker who shared a class with her.
She had also taken to practicing her transformation in the mirror. She was getting more used to the cat ears and tail that came with it, and she found that they looked quite cute. She also practiced controlling her strength, as she found she was much stronger in her other form.
Nothing crazy had happened since she had banished the sorceress back to her realm. Callahan had informed her that the woman was Rose, one of the three great champions of Hypixel. She was reportedly very good at magical attacks, so Tina was grateful she hadn’t given her the time to show her full power.
It was Saturday, and nothing had happened yet. Tina was transformed in front of her mirror once again, poking at her cat ears when she felt the same unease as she had days earlier.
Callahan got up from the windowsill he had been resting on and floated in front of Tina.
You felt it right?
Tina nodded. She opened her room’s window and leapt out, landing into a light run.
She followed her senses, weaving her way through buildings towards the source of the unease. She picked up the pace. It was mild for the moment, but Tina wasn’t going to waste time and let it get stronger.
Tina eventually made her way to where the energy felt the strongest. She found herself standing at the end of an alleyway, opposite of a hooded figure. She could practically see it coming off the person in waves.
“Hey!” Tina shouted.
The figure turned toward her, and in a flash they were in her face. Tina leaned back to barely dodge the weapon that arched towards her. She stepped back, trying to get out of reach of the continual attacks.
Retreating a bit, Tina was able to get a better look at her opponent’s appearance.
They wore a cloak that covered most of their body and head. Poking out from under the hood was a few wisps of light hair. What drew her notice the most was their eyes. A vibrant purple, that glowed in the shadows of the alley. They were poised, weapon in hand, ready for combat.
The hooded figure lunged, and Tina struck back with a hit of her own. Before it was able to connect, they dodged, leaving her fist barely touching the fabric of their cloak.
Tina realized that she was outclassed in this fight, so she pretended to kick her opponent. As they backed away from the feint, she used the opportunity and started to run.
This encounter was different from the last two. In those she had the element of surprise on her side. Now her enemy knew she was there, and was clearly prepared.
She looked behind her to see that the person was not far behind. They were coming at her with their blade. They one again shot much closer to her, similar to their first attack, and she knew she couldn’t just run to shake them off. If she couldn’t merely outrun them, then she would have to shake them off. Tina knew the campus better than a minion from Hypixel, and she would use that.
She weaved through trees and buildings, eventually making a hard left to get out of her opponent’s line of sight. She then leapt to the roof of the building next to her and entered through the roof access she knew was there.
This building connected to the cafe she worked at. She knew it was closed at the moment, so there shouldn’t be any people there. She got to the cafe and locked the doors behind her.
She slid down to sit by one of the counters and breathed a sigh of relief. She had lost her opponent for the moment at least.
Tina thought about how the encounter had played out. Looking at it, it seemed like the energy had been purposeful, like an attempt to draw her out rather than to cause fights like the others had.
“Callahan!” Tina called out. “Where did you go?”
In a poof of smoke, Callahan appeared beside her. He floated in front of her and rested into her hands as she reached out to catch him.
“What am I supposed to do here? I didn’t see any point I could send them back.”
I see. It seems you may need more training than I have given you.
“Obviously! Before all this I hadn’t been in a fight since I was a kid! I’m a bit out of my depth here.”
And I apologize for not giving further assistance, but I have full faith that with a bit of practice you will become the guardian this realm needs.
“Aw Callahan, that’s really sweet, but how does that help me right now?” Tina replied. “There’s still someone out there looking for me.”
You lost him for now. We will have to regroup and confront him later. Your skills will take priority.
“Okay..” Tina said reluctantly. She wasn’t sure about the plan. If they left, it would leave the minion to continue gathering energy for Hypixel. She really didn’t want to let them get any closer to their goal.
Behind her, the door to the cafe opened, and from it stepped her coworker Foolish.
“Heeey, Tina” He was staring at Callahan, who floated up from her hands.
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britesparc · 4 months
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Weekend Top Ten #622
Top Ten Bon Jovi Songs
There are a few things I want to celebrate around this time of year; that is, a few things I can hang a Top Ten hat on. My wife’s birthday, for one; and Valentine’s Day just around the corner. I also have a daughter who has a birthday, but I tend to turn the whole list over to my kids nowadays for their birthdays, so that might happen fairly soon too. Anyway, I was trying to think of things that felt a bit soppy or romantic this week, and I settled on a long-haired singer in his sixties.
I’ve always liked Bon Jovi, even before I really knew who they were. When I was a teenager, I discovered that – apparently – they weren’t really “cool” to like. I was a bit disappointed by that, but it didn’t faze me; I was never cool anyway. At the time, their melodramatic, emotional fusion of sentimental Americana and power chords was properly in my wheelhouse (see also: Meat Loaf and Bryan Adams – who, yes, is Canadian, but you see where I’m coming from). And so it has remained; if anything, my love for this whole genre and its adjacent musical styles (you can pop off in different directions and hit Bruce Springsteen, Johnny Cash, or Metallica) has only grown and solidified. Sometimes I like my soft sad songs; sometimes I like a bit of distorted guitar. Acts like Bon Jovi (and, indeed, my beloved Bad Seeds) frequently do both.
Anyway, eventually I met my wife (technically we weren’t married at the time) and it turns out she’s a massive Bon Jovi fan. So now, as well as my general appreciation for them, it’s added to by the fact that they were one of her big favourites growing up. Back in the days of CDs (remember them?) she had loads of Bon Jovi, I had loads of Nick Cave; those were our things, I guess. So now as well as just liking them, it’s also something that I associate with my wife, too. Which adds to the resonance.
And so we come to this list: a celebration not only of a band I really like but also a person I’m quite fond of too. And no, I don’t mean John Francis Bongiovi Jr.
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Bed of Roses (1992): so Bon Jovi tend to do either relatively heavy songs or soppy love ballads. This is the latter, but it’s a masterpiece of the genre, the mix of electric guitar and melancholy lyrics. There may be a sense of self-aggrandising tone to its tale of a musician on the road, it’s full of great imagery “my mistress she calls me to stand in her spotlight again”; and the chorus, and overall message, is beautiful and properly romantic.
Someday I’ll Be Saturday Night (1995): Bon Jovi specialises in songs about working-class Americans, and how hard life can be down on the breadline. This song is no exception, with allusions to prostitution and suicide; but as well as the upbeat and driving tune behind the dark lyrics, there’s also a terrific optimism to the whole thing – today sucks, but tomorrow might be better. And the way that’s expressed – “feeling like a Monday but someday I’ll be Saturday night” – is really great.
Last Man Standing (2004): okay, I know this is basically Jonny Bon telling us how amazing he is; and there’s very much a sense of Old Man Yells at Cloud about it. But man alive, I just adore it; the lyrics, painting an aging rocker as a superhero, are one thing, but it’s one of the most driving, rocky songs the band have produced.
(You Want To) Make a Memory (2007): another of their tender ballads, rather than being about a dedicated romantic away from their lover, it’s about a couple who might be about to embark on an affair. But it’s incredibly sweet and rather sexy, the vibe of a couple who’ve been just missing each other, or maybe let love get away, but now have a chance of happiness (“I see you reaching for your keys, looking for a reason not to leave”). And, yes, it’s pretty sexy; we all know what he means by “make a memory”.
Hey God (1995): the theme of life being a bit shit is very common in Bon Jovi’s oeuvre and here it is again. This time, though, it’s shot-through with righteous anger, the song a furious tirade against Creation itself, full of pissed-off people tearing strips off the Maker for the dark difficulties of life. “I saw a dying man too proud to beg spit on his own grave”; way to go full emo, Jon.
I’ll Be There For You (1989): probably occupying the middle ground between “soppy ballad” and “banging rock”, this has a pacy, loud, consistently driving beat, and even the soppy love lyrics are full of great imagery. Like Bed of Roses, the central motif is romantic; and like Make a Memory it’s rather sexy. There’s a heroic, almost sacrificial edge to the lyrics, and I’m very fond of the line “when you get drunk I’ll be the wine”.
Livin’ on a Prayer (1986): ah, probably the quintessential Bon Jovi track; one of the ones that really started it all. This is where we meet Tommy and Gina, down on their luck couple who love each other but can’t catch a break. It solidified the band’s preoccupation with the beaten-down strength of ordinary Americans wrestling with unfairness; and the music is great. The sense of optimism here is maybe a bit more forced than Saturday Night; yes, “we’ll make it I swear”, but it’s all hope and, well, prayers.
Real Life (1999): this one might just be for me. The song was featured in the underrated film EdTV, and features many allusions to both movies in particular but also heroic fantasies in general. It’s the juxtaposition of these images with the “real love” that causes pain that drives the song; but overall it’s just a fun listen.
Blaze of Glory (1990): this might feel like a cheat or a technicality, as Blaze of Glory is a solo album for Jon Bon Jovi, featuring songs from and inspired by Young Guns II. There’s a lot of great Western imagery, a motif Bon Jovi has used before (notably in Wanted Dead or Alive); but here it feels explicitly cowboy-y. There’s a darkness here that reflects the movie’s depiction of Billy the Kid; someone who knows eventually the violence will catch up with them.
Captain Crash and the Beauty Queen From Mars (2000): talking about “maybe it’s just me”, this is a really weird song. Okay, not quite Maxwell’s Silver Hammer-level oddness, but still; it’s daffy. Ostensibly a rather sweet song about a couple who are perfect together and draw strength from each other, it’s chock-full of strange imagery, whether it’s name-checking all manner of “celebrity” couples (from Fred and Ginger to Clyde and Bonnie) to the depiction of the central couple (dressed like Ziggy, wearing roller skates in bed, etc). Anyway, I dig it.
So that’s the list, but I also wanted to shout out a couple of songs from their most recent album, 2020 – American Reckoning and Unbroken. They might not quite hit the heights of some of their classics, but I do think it’s really good for a band the size and popularity of Bon Jovi to take such progressive stances, especially in this day and age, singing songs about police brutality. Given the type of music they play and the potential audience of it, it’s nice to see them wearing their hearts on their stonewashed sleeves.
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In Pursuit:Hunter Full Moon in Taurus
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In Pursuit:Hunter Full Moon in Taurus
Saturday, October 28 will bring us a Hunter Moon in the sign of Taurus. The Hunter Moon derives its name from the fact that hunters once used the bright light of the fall Full Moon to allow them to track prey at night. The Hunter Moon is always the first full Moon after the Harvest Moon, the closest full moon to the autumnal equinox. This Hunter Moon is special. It will be a partial eclipse, conceal in the earth shadow or umbra. as it is known. While some of the Moon will be hidden in the umbra It won’t totally disappear. It will take on a reddish hue, an effect known as the scattering. It will be visible in Africa, Asia, Europe and Austrailia.
The Moon, considered a planet in astrology, is concerned with needs like food, security, and emotional support. As the planet responsible for mothering, emotional balance and the home environment, its chief focus is the nature and care of ones being and, if any, your offspring. Taurus is a sign that places its emphasis on values, whether it’s an object which you possess or an opinion that you hold. The sign of Taurus shares many of the moon’s concerns namely food, shelter and emotional security. This lunar transit will bring to the forefront
Eclipses, in astrological terms, provides greater insight into the part of the consciousness of the planet being affected (i.e. Sun or Moon). Because this eclipse affects the Moon, governor of unconsciousness, your impulses and desires may be very present in your thoughts. This particular eclipse, under the auspices of Taurus, may induce a measure of regarding possession and how you may obtain or maintain them. Don’t be surprised where you’ll have an urge to address matters related to your immediate needs such as food and creature comforts
The Hunter Moon in Taurus is a time to determine what you’ll need in the coming weeks and how you may need to go about getting it. The Retrograde is still in effect so let your effort be flexible and intuitive. The Full Moon will end the day before the Retrograde concludes on Nov 3rd
the question of values regarding your needs. How do you feel about the way earning your living? Do you feel valued in the important areas of your life? The next three days will bring up these matters and ask you to make important decisions. Taurus, an earth sign, is very emotional (its ruler is the planet Venus) and coupled with the Moon, may make this a very demanding time with regard to your feelings. The good news is that because Taurus is an earthy sign, decision making should prove grounded in practical, pragmatic and in realistic thinking. Be aware that you should mindful of making any major decision during this weekend given the retrograde.
Full moons, again, are good times for initiating or launching of projects. The waxing energy tends to promote and nurture such activities. It also provides numerous ways to achieve likely success. At this time, you’ll be directed to that which you care about most and ask to eliminate that which does not serve you. Work on projects you already are committed to, making them more effecient.
Taurus, This Moon is going to ask you to assess both objet and opinions. What do you need and what do you no longer need? As this is a time of harvest, cultivate what is most useful to you and dispense with all dead wood and things you’ve outgrown.
Scorpio, this moon will ask that conclude or end that which works against the pursuit of your desires. Anything found wanting, cast aside and draw to yourself that which you need to help you advance.
Leo and Aquarius, this moon may ask that you address an outstanding need. Whether you require rest, nutrition or possibly change in unproductive habit. Whatever it may be, the underlying question should be “What will you need?” This Hunter Full moon should be a time to seek opportunities for fulfillment and personal gain. Like a great hunter, let instinct and common sense provide you with the resources you need.
Aeion is a professional astrologer and tarot card reader with 20 years of experience. His approach is based in the belief that divination should be in employed to enhance ones' life experiences, not to predetermine them. Let Astrology and Tarot be your tools for better living.
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keefwho · 9 months
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September 16 - 2023 Saturday
9:21am
I know whats wrong with me. I have a lot of thoughts and stories in my head dictating my life right now. That combined with how common it is to feel like this on the weekend, it's starting to happen naturally. That and I didn't do myself any favors expecting this weekend to be just like this.
I'm having the thought that my desires are worth nothing and shouldn't be pursued. I'm having the thought that my friends secretly want to distance from me because I'm low key toxic and they know it. I'm having the thought that I inherently cause damage to the things and people around me. I'm having the thought that I am a very selfish person, putting my own needs before the needs of others.
I look at myself from a third person perspective and I'm so disappointed. I know how I am behaving because of how I'm feeling. I may not act as much in self sabotage but I still think in a way to sabotage myself. Which in a sense is still acting on it because I deliberately focus on thoughts that I know are going to twist my mind towards self destruction, ultimately so I can get easy validation from others when they come to help, if they do. Just when I think I had started stopping this cycle, I realize it's only taken a different form. It is better I guess, I went from thinking and physically acting on it to only thinking about it. But thats still very harmful. My mind has a way of manipulating me in a way that I know is toxic to myself and everyone around me.
The question is how to act in a way that discourages this. I can't completely write off the assistance of friends. I just need to be aware if I'm using their help to fill that void of self worth or as a way to actually get better. I already know better than to act on thoughts that serve no purpose other than to reach an unhelpful end goal. I'm better at recognizing those.
The other thing is figuring out how to accept myself when I get like this. It's already hard enough to accept myself when I'm in a better headspace, so right now it seems impossible to see myself in a good light. But the reality is there is a reason I'm feeling this way and as I've learned, all feelings are valid. It only matters how I act while I carry them. The goal is to not let them dictate my behavior, as hard as that is.
10:35am
I'm having the thought that I'm completely alone today and that it's going to stay that way. I'm having the thought that I'm worthless and nothing is worth trying.
My heart hurts and I want to stay in bed all day.
I guess I'm just upset that I'm not getting more attention honestly. As in I have this strong devotion to doing everything I can if I think I can help but I'm not getting that back right now. And it hurts. But I question if I'm asking for too much or if this is an unhealthy desire. I feel alone right now and I wouldn't if I felt like I was cared about in the slightest but I don't today because my calls for help are unheeded. Or maybe it's not obvious enough. I don't know. I'm bitter right now and feel like I can do nothing but wait to see if I will called upon later.
I also hate myself for having all the time and energy to work on things I want to finish but I just fucking can't do it. My terrible mood is stopping me, amongst other mental hurdles.
Maybe I should just shut the fuck up and do nothing before I yet again cause damage to everything.
11:06am
I get it. No one wants me around when I'm like this. All relationships are conditional on me not being a fucking idiot. I have no choice but to isolate until I either clean up my act or die.
I'm having the thought that I am nobody. My entire life is invalid.
11:39am
I'M FUCKING STUPID. I can do LITERALLY anything but I'm stuck deciding on nothing because I'm afraid. I'm afraid I'll pick the wrong thing, which means I'll miss out on something else. Or whatever I pick won't go well and I'll perceive it as wasted time. I'm afraid no matter what I pick, it'll be wrong and I'll beat myself up for it. But doing nothing is even worse. Sitting here crying about it is the worst possible outcome so picking literally anything would be better. The point of the weekend to me is to be able to do whatever I want for as long as I want with no consequences. It's a time of ultimate play where I can explore things in ways weekdays won't allow. Why can't I fucking understand that.
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jmalegni · 1 year
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Swampcon 2023
So this was my first ever "experience" with anime culture in a physical setting. And I have to say, it was pretty cool. Being able to see all kinds of cosplays and recognizing different characters was a lot of fun. I spent most of my time exploring different panels and learning about the physical nature of the culture surrounding anime.
The vendor hall and artist alley were very interesting. I've grown up with amazon and other online marketplaces dominating the figurine, clothing, and other related merch. It was very refreshing to see it all in person and get a sense for how it would actually look/feel. Also, interacting with the people selling the items and art was great, a lot of the artists seemed very passionate about their work and I feel like a learned a bit about the whole process. Which I loved because I am the exact opposite of artistic.
To get to the panels, I started off with cosplay 101. Before this class I had barely even thought of cosplay or the many intricacies associated with it. I was very surprised about how deep you could go if say, you wanted to make one from scratch. I was also introduced to proper manners that come with cosplaying, most of which are common sense, but also some additional things like wearing sealer if you are using body paint so it doesn't rub off on your clothes or other people. I don't plan on cosplaying, it seems really fun, but you would probably need to go with a group of friends or to a larger convention to get full enjoyment out of it. Overall, very interesting panel.
I spent the rest of Saturday going to humor based panels, Rating Muscular Women in Anime, How to get a Rizztraining Order, and best of all Javier's Bad Fanfic Reading. All of which were hilarious and incredibly entertaining. The fanfic reading was definitely an experience I will never forget. I won't get into the details, but Javier did an incredible job at narrating and setting it all up and I want to give him props for it. Even with the more silly nature of these panels, I see a lot of the aspects that we talked about in class in relation to anime/otaku culture. The fanfics included very popular characters from media that the author's wished to "make their own", the entire rating system for muscular women is a method of personally attaching the presenter's sexuality with a variety of characters from popular anime. Even the Rizztraining Order panel gives insight into the more negative side of otaku culture with stalking/downright creepiness of cosplayers.
I sadly was unable to attend the convention on Sunday. There were a couple more panels I had wished to attend, like vtubers 101 and the history of japanese literature. Just from a learning standpoint to see more examples of the physical culture surrounding me, but I am sure I will learn plenty more as life goes on, and there will be plenty of other opportunities. Oh and I missed the cosplay contest too, which I was looking forward to, I'll just make sure I don't mis it next year.
Overall, this was a very memorable experience and a great introduction to what conventions are like. I will definitely be attending next year, and hopefully will learn even more.
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hotpinkvelveteen · 2 years
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SATURN: The Dreaded Planet
Before I begin “Astra inclinant, non necessitant”. Meaning “the stars impel, they do not compel”. They urge us or drive us but they do not force us. 
There is a lot of talk around this planet. People fear having this aspect other planets. The most common fear is the Saturn Return that happens when you are around 29-33.
Well, those feelings are valid. Very valid. Everyone wants the fast or easy lane. But sometimes the easy lane is detrimental to our growth as a person. And besides easy doesn’t make for interesting life stories.
Saturn is a generational planet. And it rules Capricorn and Aquarius (ancient). It was considered to be the night ruler of Aquarius. I will be using keys from Roman and Greek mythology because I truly believe there’s a connection.
LESSONS OF SATURN
Saturn is the ruler of Saturday. Everyone loves a Saturday, work is over and you get to rest. You get to renew your strength. Saturn is the planet of restoration. And also responsibility. And I do believe this is meant in a karmic sense. Where you have Saturn in your chart may be where you may have not taken things seriously in your past life. Saturn is now calling you to be responsible and mend that part of your life that you fucked up.
For those who do not have a karmic lesson, Saturn just show you where you are weak. And it is telling you to work on that area.
Saturn is equivalent to the Greek God Chronus (not Zeus’s dad). This god is the embodiment of time. Greek: Χρόνος, [kʰrónos] Translation: time. Saturn’s themes on our lives work till they die. We have the choice to work with or against it. Saturn has 2 consorts (he has more than that but I’ll be discussing the major ones). 
Ops is one of them and she represents abundance, wealth and growth. The other wife, Lua, represents destruction but she could also protect you from destruction if amendments are made. I interpret that to be the two outcomes of not follow the themes of Saturn which are restriction, structure, patience, responsibility.
Saturn also represents wealth, periodic renewal, liberation. When Saturn is heard, there is abundance. There is also a form of release from your close-mindedness or lack of self awareness. That is very liberating in a sense.  Periodic Renewal meaning working on your Saturn is not a one time thing. Just like after the weekend(Saturday) when you have to go to work. That applies to your Saturn. Saturn will let up and let you admire your work and you HAVE to continue working on it.
Saturn also represent longevity(long-lasting). This can mean when you start to work harmoniously with your Saturn. Wherever it is placed, Saturn can give longevity to that area. And that also works in the other way. It can also mean that Saturn will make you take longer time to achieve the theme of that placement. Because Saturn requires you to have a stable structure and be more responsible.
SATURN RETURNS
When this happens, Saturn themes rule over your life. The aspects Saturn has with other planets will definitely be highlighted. This can be difficult or moderately difficult. Let’s say you have Saturn in 4th house. Saturn Return will throw challenges or tasks related to your mother, home life, family and so on.
SATURN IN FALL, DETRIMENT & RETROGRADE
Saturn is at detriment in Cancer and Leo. There is a lack of self-awareness and hatred of structure and what it brings. These natives may not see need for structure, restriction and so on. More work is needed by these natives because Saturn is harmed in this sign.
Saturn is at fall in Aries. The energy of Saturn is weak. You are somewhat aware of the themes of Saturn but don’t feel motivated to follow them. Saturn’s energy is not heard. There is just fear of being behind others and what not. Aries is a cardinal sign and is all about charging forward and pushing ahead. But Saturn is about patience, forming a solid foundation etc.
Retrograde is when a planet goes in the opposite direction and is slow moving(this is a really short definition that has left some key details out but...you get what I mean) Anyways, Saturn Rx is doing the opposite of forcing you to form structures in your life, it is telling you to look at the structure you may have built or not (depends on if you followed your Saturn). So during a transit, it may be good depending on if you followed your Saturn or not. But for a natal chart it’s not so good. You may lack structure, boundaries in your life. And because you are always looking inward and feeling bad at your inadequacies, you can hardly see what is going on in front of you. (Big hug to you guys)
Look at the houses to see the themes of your Saturn. Obviously the sign that presides over the house will present it’s themes. 
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zukuist · 3 years
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in the moment [hcs]
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“they are desperate for help when admirers swarm them, and they choose to seek for your assistance”
fandom/s : 僕のヘロアカデミア // boku no hero academia (bnha)
includes: h. shinsō, k. bakugō, i. midoriya
your name is shortened to y/n, last name is shortened to l/n gender neutral, use of the pretend lover trope, they’re actually pining.
further note: yes i’ve been gone for more than a week, and yes it’s because of school. i promise i’ll be posting more!!
REQUESTS ;; OPEN !!
© IZUKULIE 2021, HORIKOSHI KOHEI OWNS BNHA, DO NOT STEAL ❕
shinsō hitoshi
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finds it super annoying
and this is coming from him, someone that’s not easy to irritate
he’s conscious and aware that people find him attractive (which for some reason, he still questions why)
eventually, admirers are bound to appear like it or not, but they’re not this insistent as this girl, nope.
shinsō has never experienced something like this, in his entire life.
noriko was a familiar face, but not in the best way for shinsō hitoshi.
she used to be one of those girls that’d band wagon with her opinions. whenever people were hostile towards him
she would be hostile too
but as soon as everyone started finding him attractive, she’d change too.
and it’s.. a mess. what more when he himself is pining on someone that’s not noriko
let alone, a student from class 1-A?
and it’s not like he could brainwash her into leaving him alone
as soon as she would be released by his quirk, she’d tell everyone what he did. therefore, leaving that out of the many solutions
and now he’s backed up into a corner, with her chasing him all across the hallways.
he can only hope for a solution.
— scene —
“this is ridiculous..” taking another turn in the hallway, shinsō mutters to himself quietly, the sleep deprived student can still hear her shrill voice
and by ‘her’, he’s referring to the admirer that has been tailing him down ever since the day had started.
“there are times like this where i wished i didn’t care about looking villainous” is what he’s really thinking. damn quirk stereotypes, and curse him for not having a quirk like iida tenya
“what.. are you doing?” was he lucky, or unlucky? it just so happened to be that he bumped into y/n l/n, out of all people
“i’m in a bit of a situation,” his palm rests against his nape, and he has to hope that you get the message, when noriko’s nearly deafening voice cuts through the air
“you’re quite popular with the ladies, huh?” you joke, and shinsō would’ve laughed if he wasn’t being trailed down.
“as much as i—”
“there you are !” noriko exclaims, slightly out of breath from the insistent chase, “you still haven’t answered !”
“i have, and i said no.” he makes his intentions concrete, compared to earlier (which was a mistake) when he rejected her in the nicest way he could’ve done so, but it wasn’t enough to make her quit.
“well earlier, you’ve said you appreciated it !” the whine pains both of your ears, and you contemplate if you should just grab his hand, and make a run for it.
but, she’d just chase you down again. so maybe not.
“yes, but i also said i can’t accept your feelings.” in instinct, he backs up so he could stand next to you, and he looks at you with his own style of desperation, which was obviously different than noriko’s desperation.
“i happen to be taken.” shinsō claims, hooking his hand along yours. which might’ve been done because he’s desperate, but could’ve been done because he wanted to
getting the motive, you lock away your shock, and play along, accepting his touch.
“i don’t believe you.” noriko blurts, “you two look like best friends more than anything. i’m not stupid !”
you didn’t think it would have to resort to this.
with not much of a thought, you grabbed shinsō by the collar, and smashed your lips together. his lips are warmer than you’ve anticipated, the distinct taste of coffee makes you lean into him further. while at first taken aback, shinsō decides to accept the act by pushing you even closer to him
you let go, deciding it was enough, and when you stare back at noriko, tears dotting at her waterline, and she sputters in humiliation and rejection.
“i never liked you anyway !” she uses as a defense, before storming off. the both of you feel a sense of relief when her figure turns at the end of the hallway
“sorry for kissing you like that. it was kind of in the moment,”
shinsō chuckles, “didn’t expect our first kiss to be like that.”
“well, there are more opportunities to come for you, you’re quite popular.” you tease, and shinsō flicks your forehead in retaliation. in return, you hiss at the sudden sting of pain.
“we’ll have more opportunities when i take you out for lunch on saturday.” he pats you on the shoulder, before he presses a quick real kiss on your cheekbone.
bakugō katsuki
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also finds it super annoying. actually, he might as well just fight them and move on.
bakugō knows it well that he’s.. well-known, for all the right and wrong reasons
but what he doesn’t know is that he’s also known for his good looks, rough and boyish in nature.
so eventually, there’ll be that one brave and fearless soul that’ll take one for the team. or even two, or three.
he hates it. doesn’t his aura and demeanor alone scare off all of the suitors?
since when were they super persistent, smh.
it didn’t help that he was trying to drown and suffocate his feelings down the pipeline.
because curse bakugō katsuki for having normal, teenage feelings. he had other important things in life, right?
but he couldn’t help but wonder if you’d ever confess to him like that
(not that it would happen any time soon. you were too busy being a tough training partner)
but everything aside, he wishes that people would just take the hint already.
because ignoring doesn’t help all the time.
the girl named fumiko would be a dreadful sight he’d be constantly reminded of.
from his shoe locker being flooded with love letters that speak nothing to him, and to the obnoxious commentary on his looks
he’d think that they were just harassing him to get a reaction, but bakugō katsuki will remain unbothered!
but he spoke too soon, because he was approached directly right after his late training session.
—scene—
bakugō hates it
he hates extras, he hates being outshined, and he hates distractions. what more was there to dislike in the world? everything clearly.
he can handle things properly, and with that tough demeanor of his, and he definitely doesn’t need a quick and easy solution, from the girl that’s glued to his side.
he told himself that a persistent extra is nothing, he can just simply ignore them and look at them, like how he always looks at useless pebbles, and they’d go away. but clearly not this girl
“get off, you fucking extra” he pushes her off, grabbing his water bottle and immediately storming off, but it doesn’t convince fumiko (he learned her name unfortuantely) to finally lay off.
“c’mon katsuki! this would’ve all been over if you just went out with me!”
bakugō can’t hide the cringe on his face, hearing his first name, ugh. he doesn’t know how she found out about his late training sessions, considering that she wasn’t in his class or class 1-b
he doubts that he’d run into anyone at this hour, they’d be all in the common room, and he did say that he wanted all of them to ‘fuck off’. but luck does work in mysterious ways.
“..what’re you doing here?” he questions, clearly surprised by your presence, and his frustration would’ve disappeared at that exact mom“dinner’s almost ready. actually, why do you look so.. alarmed? is there a villain?—”
his palms are starting to sweat, and it’s not because of his training, or because of the girl that won’t leave him alone. “no! fuck no. okay, there’s just some shitty extra that’s been following me around like some obsessed freak.”
you decide to be smug, “i knew there was going to be a brave soul out there, ready to sacrifice themselves.” you rest your hand on your left side, like it was heart warming, but the blond is not amused with your gesture.
“right, right!” you hold your hands up, surrendering. “okay, what do you want me to do?”
“just don’t say a fucking thing.” you can hear foot steps get closer and closer to the both of you, and in a hurry, he pushes you closer to him, the smell of caramel evading your senses.
before you could even say a word, he kisses you. it’s rough, and it makes you feel warm, and it’s definitely not because of his quirk, or because of the large, warm palms that rest against your sides.
you get a grip on him, holding onto his shoulder when you feel your knees buck because of the butterflies in your stomach, and it seems to get worse when bakugō holds you even tighter
“okay geez, i get it. you’re taken!” you can hear the girl exclaim in humiliation and disgust, “ugh, a guy like you wouldn’t be able to handle me anyway.”
and when she finally scurries away, the both of you break the kisses, the wind out of you being knocked out cold from his sudden act of ‘romance’
“i sorta understand the hype now.” you grin, your lips still tingle from the kiss, and you’re convinced that you want more, despite the kiss being out of spite, and for fumiko to back off.
“shut up.” you would’ve laughed at him if it was any other day, but for now, you’re left silent. your heart flutters once more, when his lips press against your cheekbone briefly.
“c’mon, idiot. we’re gonna miss dinner.”
midoriya izuku
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he’s so alarmed, and honestly very scared
he wasn’t popular, or well known to begin with, and people only started treating him like he was a real person in highschool
he’s just so used to being looked at like a background character, or a npc in a video game.
so the sudden swarm of suitors, and people that want to date him shocked him to the core.
he was never treated like this in middle school, or elementary!
it flatters him, and he’s glad that people actually like him. but.. he’d never actually think about being with either of them
because they’re not you, obviously. but wait, what’s so different about you exactly?
well.. you’ve treated him with kindness, even when he looked like this.. really awkward kid that sat at the back of the classroom.
so yeah, he’d never think about accepting anyone else’s confessions, as long as they’re not you
but still, midoriya has treated all of his admirers with kindness, despite not wanting to be with any of them
knowing how it feels to be humiliated, he wouldn’t want to do that on any of them
but.. this one particular girl was one he’d never truly be comfortable with, as much as he’d like to fake it.
rieko was.. something. probably the most persistent one out of all of them.
he would’ve appreciated it, if it weren’t for the fact that she was super obnoxious to other people.
and most importantly, he didn’t understand what she’d get out of it, and it wrecked his nerves!
— scene —
standing next to you, all lined up for lunch, midoriya shifts uncomfortably as he tries his best to ignore the loud and obvious commentary that’s being directed to him.
at first, it was flattering. but now? he just wishes things would go back to the times where people had no interest in him, whatsoever.
he knows what rieko really like him for, and it’s honestly disheartening. the girl would compliment him on things like his looks, and even his new moves!
but as soon as he elaborated on how he did it, the interest would fade away from her eyes
not that it did matter though. midoriya didn’t really have any feelings for any of the people that’ve approached him, wanting to date him. he’s been kind, and they’ve been kind in return, getting the hint and backing off.
the freckled boy was flattered but, not interested
but clearly, rieko didn’t get the message, despite the way midoriya would back away uncomfortably. how he’d immediately excuse himself whenever he’d see the girl.
just.. all signs of disinterest
“go! just ask him already!” he can hear her friends encourage her, but he’s not very enthusiastic to know what they’re cheering her on for
“he won’t be able to resist! just walk right in and do it, you guys will be an attractive couple anyway!”
midoriya’s palms are shaky, and he tries his best to calm his nerves down by clenching his fists. this doesn’t go un-noticed by you.
“you okay, midoriya?” you ask, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, and the green haired boy hopes that his cheeks aren’t turning red.
the both of you guys are awfully close! not that he’s complaining, it’s just that—
“is it about them?” you ask in a nearly quiet tone, and midoriya’s aware that you’re talking about them.
“uhm..” midoriya tries to formulate a proper answer, not wanting to sound as bothered as he actually is. how would he be able to explain this? “don’t worry about it,” midoriya reassures, “it’s just—”
“do you think that he’s dating that person? you know, the one beside them?” he hears that the topic of the conversation has shifted, and the group of girls are referring to you.
midoriya wasn’t planning on telling anyone about the dilemma. let alone his crush. it was something he was going to ignore, until the mess calmed down.
but now? you’re roped into it, and his nerves didn’t calm down at all.
“izuku dating them? no, it can’t be. he’s too good for them!”
“that’s the spirit, rieko. you should just go like.. now!”
to him, it’s the other way around. you’re too good for him, and you’re out of his league. so, this comment upsets him to all ends.
he’s pondering on what he should do, and before he could take you out of the line to get food at some other place, he feels something warm enlace his hand.
he slightly shivers when he realizes that it’s your hand he’s holding, cheeks flushed with crimson.
your eyes are ahead, a lot more composed than he is clearly, but if he looked hard enough, he could sense the nervousness in your hold.
“you wanna leave the line, izu?” his first name sounds different when you say it, and he thinks to himself that he prefers it a lot more when it comes from you
“y-yes.” and you smile, pressing your lips against his cheek quickly, before tugging his hand and pulling him out of the line, walking away from the group.
it’s a miracle that he didn’t drop onto the cafeteria’s floors.
you can feel his anxiety subsiding. despite his flushed cheeks remaining, he looks better than he did a few seconds ago, and you’re glad.
deciding the both of you were at a safe distance, you peek over your shoulder. you can see the absolute defeat on rieko’s face, and the scowl on her friends’ faces as they attempted to comfort their heartbroken friend.
“thank you, y/n.”
“no, it’s nothing, really. anyhow, what do you plan on eating for lunch?”
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roanniom · 3 years
Note
Hey Issa, my sweet honey bun! I don’t send many requests to people, so bear with me. I’ll forever wait for the day you write Kylo, but until then I’ll throw this one at you for Charlie. I had a wander through the prompt list, and I kinda liked “I’ll feel better if you let me walk you home.” with Charlie being all protective of reader, unsure if she reciprocates his feelings. And because I’m a garbage can of filth, I also loved “I’m not made of glass. You won’t break me.” if you wanted to move into smut. I hope this gets the creative juices flowing? Take your time, no pressure ever! 💕💕💕
@paper-n-ashes as you know I have been holding onto this and chipping away at it steadily for FOREVER so I can get it just right for you, so I hope you enjoy it, my love <3
Push
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Charlie Barber x Reader
Word Count: 6,862
Warnings: NSFW, fingering, PIV sex / unprotected sex, light light light choking (not even really), mention of infidelity (just canon from Marriage Story plot), a lil post-divorce angst/lack of confidence
The above photo is Charlie Barber, 1-year post divorce. He’s been working out as a form of anger management and because Henry, over many late night phone conversations, has shared his new love of hiking, a pastime he’s picked up since living in LA. Charlie plans to take Henry hiking on the Appalachian trail next summer break and wants to be on tip top shape to keep up with his enthusiastic son.
He’s been to therapy. Learning more about what went wrong in his marriage, but more specifically learning about how he can become a better person in the aftermath. How infidelity and self-interest were born of a deep-seated need for a love that he was not receiving. A love that was no closer to him prior to his indiscretions but all the same rendered unreachable as a result. He’s given himself time to grieve the man he’d thought himself to be. Because that is what had died with his marriage - not Charlie Barber himself. But the Charlie Barber he’d built in his mind. A man limited by support that came with conditions, love that came with caveats. That Charlie was a father and a husband. He was often suppressed, wound tight, on edge.
This Charlie is a father and a man. He is free to celebrate his own success without fear of wounding nearby egos. He’s limited only by what he feels he deserves. And granted sometimes those self-imposed limitations can really hold him down, as they did when he vowed not to jump into any further entanglements - affairs or otherwise - in the time immediately following his divorce. But that limitation was ultimately beneficial. It gave him space to be alone - with himself, for himself. He was able to finally see his own flaws with his own eyes instead of having them recited back to him by another, as if through a crude, second hand reflection. And in seeing these flaws, he also saw the virtues. Charlie was actually starting to like himself again.
And this is when he meets you.
You storm into his life with an energy he doesn’t recognize, introduced at a party by a friend of a friend, filling his senses with your too-loud-laughter and too-bright-eyes. In many ways that’s how he sees you: too much. Your enthusiasm makes you appear too young, though in truth you’re not that much younger than him. Your smile makes you appear too beautiful, though in truth there are often much more conventionally attractive women in the room at any given time.
“Charlie. Charlie Barber,” Charlie mutters as he shakes your hand. Its warm in his larger one and he’s suddenly a little self-conscious of the fact that he’d been holding his sweating scotch on the rocks just moments before the contact.
“Hello Charlie-Charlie Barber,” you reply with a massive grin, shaking his hand back vigorously and with seemingly no reaction to its clamminess. “The famous director, I assume?”
Charlie clocks the quirk of your eyebrow. A tease. A social cue he’s not used to. Not these days. He looks down at his worn tennis shoes, all too aware all at once of the way they dress down his sweater and jeans. He feels rumpled next to you and he’s not sure he likes it. You’re too put together.
You’re too honest, too fearless, too open to new things. Though Charlie’s beginning to grow, your presence reminds him of how stunted he’d been in his marriage. How the same old restaurants, the same old clothes, the same old glass of the same old scotch had become items of comfort for him, talismans of a previous life that he clung to for some semblance of familiarity. Around you, however, those same old things looks dull and uninspired. Quite the opposite of you.
You are the one to ask him out, though he’s not even really aware that it’s a date at all when he arrives. That’s how much he doesn’t see you coming. His affair had been one of convenience. An opportunity to blow off excess steam, and a pretty disappointing one at that, with neither party really find what they were chasing. His marriage had grown cold long before it had ended. All of this to say that Charlie wasn’t very familiar with warmth. With interest that occurred in the light of day, and attention that was given without anything sought in return.
You’re halfway through lunch before you realize that he doesn’t understand your intentions. So you explain them to him. Clear and empty of any pretense. You are attracted to him and interested in getting to know him further. It’s simple, really. He’s shocked by your openness and the absence of any games. In another life he’d once assumed that a relationship without strife, without agony, without strategic tug of war would be one without passion. However, as he soon learns while taking you out on the second date, that he couldn’t have been farther from the truth.
Over dinner this time he finds himself getting lost in your micro-expressions. Finds his eyes lingering on the animated way you gesture, finds his words getting twisted in his tongue as your gaze weighs on him, expectant and waiting for a response to some question. His bodily responses to your attention are no less potent in the absence of angst. In fact, he is surprised to find that his yearning practically triples when you part ways and he realizes not once had he been made to feel like he had to prove something, or fight, or challenge.
He learns over time that you challenge him in other ways. Challenge him when it comes to picking restaurants outside his comfort zone. Challenge him by dragging him, mid-lunch date, on a shopping trip with you, a trip where you gently help him to finally replace the worn out tennis shoes to which he’d been clinging. Challenge him by laughing with him, not at him, even when the subject of the humor is himself. Your laughter is lighter, more carefree, than he is used to. Then again, he’s not used to being around someone like you.
He kisses you after the third date – the lunch-turned-shopping trip. It’s quick and it’s light, on the curb before an intersection on the East Side, right before you both are about to walk in separate directions. You say nothing when he pulls away. Just smile and turn on your heel, already headed to your next destination. It drives Charlie crazy over the next few days. Not because he assumes you have some hidden agenda. On the contrary, he’s horrified that your interior thoughts match your exterior actions. You have been nothing but honest with him. It is Charlie who has been oscillating wildly in his mind. Between thoughts of how much it might hurt if you turn out to be too good to be true and thoughts of how much he’d love to feel your body on his. To explore the mouth you use so effortlessly to tease him, to compliment him, to charm him. You speak kindness like pleasantries, as if affirmations and praise were as easy to dole out as a cheery “good morning” on a stress-free Saturday. Charlie wants to know what you’re like on a Saturday. Away from the bustle of the city. Away from the common friends and the crowded shops and restaurants that have buffered all of your encounters.
But Charlie’s still afraid.
On your fourth date Charlie is more reserved when you arrive at the restaurant. You break the ice by pointing out that the formality of your dates is beginning to feel silly.
“Maybe it’s the fact that the tables have tablecloths,” you joke, swirling your pasta around a fork. “Or maybe it’s the fact that I’ve never repeatedly had meals with someone I wasn’t already in a relationship with.”
Charlie prickles at the implication, taking a labored swallow of ice water. He doesn’t want to comment on the relationship part of your sentiment so he chooses something more neutral.
“Should I remind you that two of these meals have been at your suggestion and you did, in fact, also plan them as meals.” He relaxes a bit when you laugh heartily at that, relieved that the conversation doesn’t get any more dicey.
“Touché,” you reply. Then you lean forward and whisper conspiratorially at him across the small table. He feels himself lean in, curious but also looking for a chance to just get closer in proximity. He wishes he’d had the courage to sit next to you rather than across from you when he’d first sat down. “Feeling adventurous enough to let me pick where we go after this tonight?”
And Charlie feels adventurous. Adventurous as he lets you whisk him across town and to your favorite arcade bar. Adventurous as he passes you a large handful of quarters he got from the little machine at the front, only to grasp your fist in his when he miscalculates how much of his handful you’d be capable of taking, narrowly avoiding a massive spill of loose change on the floor. Adventurous as he orders a couple of beers and lets you show him your favorite game, Burger Time – a silly little maze game where you collect burger ingredients. Adventurous as he shows you his favorite game, which is pretty much any pinball machine known to man.
“Yours looks cooler than mine,” you huff, walking over to the pinball machine he’s playing once you abandon the one that was definitely broken. Or at least that’s how you justify so many consecutive, immediate losses. Charlie laughs and pulls back the plunger but doesn’t release, effectively pausing his game.
“You wanna try it?” Charlie ushers you in front of him and puts your hand on the plunger beneath his, careful not to release it in the process. “The key is anticipating where the ball will go. It’s all about patterns after a while.”
“Then why does it seem so random?” you ask, looking up at him over your shoulder.
“You just haven’t played enough yet. Over time you can predict what will happen if the ball hits a certain corner. Where it will go if it ricochets juuust right at the last second.”
“Sounds fake but I’ll let you prove it to me,” you say with a laugh, focusing your attention back on the machine.
“We’ll let go in one…two…three.” When you feel the pressure of his hand let up you let go as well, letting him guide both your hands immediately to the buttons on the side of the machine.
For as great as his theory of pinball predictability is, he probably underestimates your ability to suck. Because you do, hard. But you laugh the whole way through, and you never quit. Never turn to him in frustration asking to do something else or even to leave. Instead you keep feeding quarters into the machine and bringing your hands back under Charlie’s on the machine. And no matter how shitty you are, you always at least try to focus.
Charlie, meanwhile, is having a very hard time focusing on anything that isn’t your body. His hips bracket your ass in this helpful position he’s adopted, and he feels your pressure against his pelvis with every enthusiastic wriggle and little jump of frustration that you take in response to the game. When he makes the unfortunate mistake to look down over your shoulder at one point he’s met with a direct view of your cleavage, exposed as it is in your low-cut blouse. Charlie begins to sweat and it has nothing to do with how packed the arcade is or with the exertion of gaming. When he remembers that the arcade is also a bar, he excuses himself to get more beer, hoping that one will cool him off and cool him down.
You dazzle him with a smile thrown over your shoulder when he approaches with the two fresh bottles, and he’s not prepared for how the sight of your face almost knocks him back on his ass.
“Charlie! I did better this time!” He chuckles at your enthusiasm.
“Oh yeah?” he asks, handing you your beer which you sip gratefully.
“I lasted a few more minutes than last time,” you elaborate proudly. “So I’d say that means I now qualify as a pinball wizard.”
“Move over Elton John,” Charlie says with a smirk. You slap him in the shoulder and immediately engage him in a spirited discussion of whether the Elton John movie version of “Pinball Wizard” was better than The Who’s version from the original album. However, after a few minutes Charlie realizes he’s lost in thought. Lost in your voice. Lost in your expressions. Lost in you.
When it finally comes time to leave the arcade, the night drawing much later than it had on your previous nighttime date, Charlie’s scared he’ll be lost without you. The two of you walk together for a couple of blocks before you reach that similar intersection. The place where you part ways.
“I think we really turned around that formality thing, don’t you?” you ask him, turning to Charlie and leaning back against the column of a pedestrian sign. Charlie moves into your space, swallowing his hesitation.
“I don’t know, I began to feel a little unworthy when you ascended past the role of pinball wizard.”
“Oh did I get a promotion?” You ask, tipping your head back so you can look up at him as he steps closer.
“The word wizard conjures up images of wizened old man,” Charlie says dismissively, as if that clears up everything.
“So if you’re saying I don’t remind you of a wrinkled old Merlin – to which might I say, shocker – then what exactly is my new title.”
“One that fits you inside and out.” Charlie braces a hand against the column above your head, his other in his pocket. His head dips down so that it’s closer to your face despite your height difference. You feel warm despite the slight chill in the air.
“And that would be Pinball….?” you prompt.
“Goddess,” he completes the title before pressing his lips to yours. His hands remain on the column and in his pocket until you reach forward and grab a fistful of his sweater, pulling him to you. Then his hands are at your waist, pushing you back into the column. His tongue is in your mouth and your hands are in his hair and he can’t breathe. But he doesn’t want to. He wants to suffocate, wants to asphyxiate on you and the way he feels so tethered to this moment, this intersection, this place where you cannot part ways.
When you break apart to, in fact, breathe, your chest heaves and your smile is radiant.
“As far as kisses goodnight go, I’d say that was top tier,” you say on a laugh. Suddenly Charlie’s throat is constricting and he has to fight his facial muscles to keep from frowning as his hands tighten on your waist.
“That wasn’t a kiss goodnight. Not yet.”
“Any longer and it’ll be a kiss good morning, sir. Have you seen the time?” Your tone is joking. You call people ‘sir’ all the time. It’s a weird quirk of yours, like calling someone dude or pal. But Charlie can feel himself choking on the word, as well as the implications of a ‘kiss good morning.’ All of a sudden he feels like if he could have only one more thing before dying, that’s what he’d ask for. But then he kicks himself internally for being so fucking dramatic and he fiddles with the hem of your shirt.
“Exactly. It’s late.
You survey him from under your eyelashes with a small smile.
“I’ve made this walk many times.”
“It’s dark.”
“I’ve made this walk in the dark many times.”
“I’ll feel better if you let me walk you home.”
Charlie’s heart clenches. Before he can overthink, you’ve ducked out of his hold, grasped his hand and started pulling him down the street.
“C’mon Charlie, hurry up. You’d keep a goddess waiting?” you toss back at him over your shoulder. But in truth it was taking all of Charlie’s self control and the fact that he didn’t know the way to your place to keep him from throwing you over his shoulder and breaking into a full sprint.
~*~
Your place is exactly like you. Eclectic, warm, inviting. There is a moment, as you pull off your coat and turn away to place it and Charlie’s on a coat rack, when Charlie feels much too big for the space. Like he’s some kind of giant invading the home of a sweet little wood nymph. But then his little wood nymph is grabbing him by the front of the shirt and dragging him to a bedroom and the worries fade right out the window.  
At first Charlie is gentle with you. His hands ghost over your body as you kiss him beside your bed. When you push him to sit down on the edge of the mattress and step between his open legs to kiss him with a different height dynamic his heart just about jumps clear out of his chest. He hasn’t done this – hasn’t touched or been touched – in so long. The affair had been transactional, just the mechanical motions of sexual gratification. Sex with Nicole, before it stopped, had been even colder, almost as if she had been begrudgingly completing some unwelcome chore.
You, however, are like fire beneath Charlie’s fingers. Your skin, your lips – everything is so warm it feels like you’re too hot to touch. But Charlie would rather risk burning up than to not become accustomed to the feel, the shape, the substance of you. He smooths over your body with a reverential softness, his muscles tense with restraint so as to keep from accidentally pushing you too far too fast. To keep from handling the way that, deep down, he desperately needs.
When your lips suddenly leave his, his brow furrows in frustrations. Before he can open his eyes a soothing finger smooths the furrow away, sliding down the bridge of his nose to press against his kiss-swollen lips. Charlie opens his eyes with a question present in them and you cock your head to the side.
“You’re tense. Like you’re holding back.” The statement isn’t accusatory but it isn’t a question. Charlie takes a shaky breath, unsure about how much he should say. Would his desperation read as too dramatic? Too undesirable? Would his enthusiasm come across as pushy or dominating? His brow must furrow again because your hand moves back up, finger pressing out the wrinkles. He shrugs.
“It’s been…a while for me. I didn’t want to come across as too…much.”
You laugh then and yet again Charlie is struck by how strange it is that you can laugh in his face directly in response to something he’s said without making him feel like you are laughing at him.
“I’m not made of glass. You won’t break me, Charlie.”
“You’re sure about that?” Charlie huffs out with a little chuckle. You give him a smirk and say your next words up against his lips.
“Try me.”
You probably were expecting him to require more cajoling. You probably were expecting him to gradually ease into something more. But Charlie takes you by surprise, grabbing you and pulling you onto the bed with him, rolling so that you’re laid out beneath his body, all the while maintaining hungry possession of your mouth. His body finds its place between your legs and you gasp at the feeling of how huge he is. How hard and insistent against your softness. He drinks from you like a man whose thirst can not be quenched. His hands find purchase on your waist and he squeezes. So hard you’re sure you’ll bruise. You smile against his mouth with the realization that you look forward to watching them bloom later.
Since Charlie seems too preoccupied with groping and making out with you, it is you who eventually takes the next step, beginning to pop open the buttons on your blouse one by one. When Charlie feels the motion of your hands between your bodies he ultimately pulls back to investigate, mouth dropping open at the slow reveal of the lingerie you’re wearing beneath. His hand shoots out to caress the delicate lace of your bra, teasingly not applying any pressure to the breast beneath.
“Do you wear things like this often?” Charlie’s voice is already rough as he asks this. You shrug.
“Whenever I want to feel sexy.”
“You wanted to feel sexy while out with me?” Charlie asks, lifting an eyebrow.
“You made me feel sexier than the lace, Mr. Barber,” you say with a smile before leaning up to capture his lower lip between your teeth. He groans and moves to practically swallow you whole. You’re entirely foreign to him. Enthusiasm, amusement, and enjoyment bundled up into one devastatingly sexy package. There’s no shame in your movements, no angst in your eyes. Just humor. Only an unabashed pursuit of pleasure. And if it’s pleasure you want, it’s pleasure you’ll get.
Charlie now aids you in the process of removing the rest of your garments, so it goes much quicker. When you move to pull off your bra, however, he catches your wrist in his massive hand.
“No…can these stay on?” Your eyebrows shoot up but you notice the way that Charlie is gazing at you with eyes slightly hazy and tongue running over his lips.
“This doing it for you, Charlie?” you tease, shimmying a bit. Charlie’s answer is sincere regardless as he dips his head down to sample the plush skin at the line of your cleavage.
“You have no idea.”
“So you’re a lingerie man, huh?” When you ask he stops to think for a second because, truly, he had never considered himself that way before. He’d never had any reason to. Sure lingerie models in magazines were hot, but it’s not a specific fantasy he’d ever explored previously.
But the sight of you here, strategically covered in lace and laid out beneath him pretty as a picture has him so hard he feels like a teenager unable to control himself. So, as you had urged him, he doesn’t.
“I might be. But really, I’m just enamored by these tits.” His teeth sink into your flesh and you sigh, especially when his tongue comes out to lave warmly at the spot. He moves down your body then, peppering kisses to the exposed skin of your stomach, sliding until your inner thighs rest against the sides of his face and his hands dip below you to squeeze your ass. “Although I feel like this might end up being my favorite part.” He says this last part directly into your clothed cunt, his lips just barely ghosting over the fabric with his words.
You wiggle a bit in his grasp, loving the answering way his fingers dig into your soft flesh. Your fingers card into his lush hair, tugging lightly at the roots, a feeling that shoots through his body and straight to his rock hard member. The way he discretely ruts against the mattress in response does not go unnoticed by you, so you drop a hand under his chin to tip his face back up to look at you.
“Will you fuck me, Charlie?” Your voice is clear and bright. Not playing coy and requiring any convincing. Just asking for something you want. And the hunger in your eyes seems unmistakable, though it still feels to good to be true. Charlie drops his gaze back down to the wet spot forming in your panties before looking back up and practically pouting.
“I’d like to taste you,” he counters. A brilliant smile breaks out across your face at the sound of that but you shake your head.
“There’ll be time for that later,” you argue, tugging on his shoulder to get him back on top of you. “If you don’t get inside me right now I’ll die.”
Charlie almost misses that last part because he’s still stuck on the first part. There’ll be time for that later. The possibility of later squeezes at Charlie’s hard and it’s only after a few echoing seconds that he’s able to process the rest of your statement with a delayed, choking laugh.
“Is someone getting dramatic on me?”
“Not yet, but I will if - ”
“If I don’t get inside you?” Charlie completes the statement in the exact moment a hand drops between your thighs and presses against the soaked fabric covering your slit. You inhale sharply.
“Exactly.”
“I didn’t take you for someone who was pushy in bed,” Charlie says good naturedly, swiping his fingers up the line of you to end with a swirl over where he assumed – correctly – your clit was. You tilt your pelvis to maximize his pressure before surging up to kiss him long and hard.
“I’m actually not. Not really,” you say breathlessly when you finally pull away and drop back down onto the pillows. You stretch luxuriously, almost like a kitten in the sun under his piercing gaze, the movement of your hips bumping his hand to rub you even better. Running your hands up and down the big, strong arms that cage you in and support him, you kiss his shoulder. “I’ve been hoping you would be.”
Suddenly your wrists are being pinned down above your head by one of Charlie’s hands. He’s got your legs open wide with his body sinking against you, hard and heavy.
“Pushy? You want me to be pushy?”
You grin big and wide at him.
“Yeah. Take charge like I know you want – oh!” You’re cut off by the welcome sensation of stimulation as Charlie’s hand drops inside your panties to slide around in your waiting slick. Without the barrier of the fabric between you, the feeling of your velvety slipperiness is enough to make him loose a growl.
He’s not hesitating and he’s not teasing anymore. Charlie has been waiting for this moment. He’s been waiting to care. Been waiting to feel. And what’s heightening the experience even more is the look on your face, the way your lips are parted and the way you gaze up at him longingly, expectantly. Providing all the evidence he needs to prove that you want this too. He wants you and you want him – what a novel idea. There are no angles or obligations, but also no shame or secrecy.
“Well if you wanted me to take charge you should have said so earlier,” he says, the corner of his lip quirking a bit as he dips two fingers inside your soaking cunt, not bothering to start with one. You gasp at the sudden intrusion. The stretch is a lot, but it is everything. Charlie sees the enjoyment register on your face, discomfort melting away almost immediately, and he begins to pull them slowly in and out to massage your walls.
“Maybe – ahh – maybe I should have,” you reply.
“Should I have caused a scene in the arcade?”
“Yes – fuck!” During an inward thrust Charlie curls his fingers up this time, rubbing against that spot in your upper wall that previous guys barely even knew was there. Before you know it he’s adding a third finger and you’re beside yourself. Charlie is elated to see how easily your body responds to his ministrations, how free you are with your reactions. He leans to down to suck a mark over your collar bone while his thumb meets your clit in tandem with his other thrusting fingers.
“You knew what you were doing when you kept rubbing that pretty little ass back into me while I taught you pinball.” His words rumbling against the skin of your throat.
“You made it so easy.”
“And you made it so hard,” Charlie counters, humor very present in his voice. You gasp out a laugh and try to tug your wrists from his grasp, but he doesn’t let you. Just keeps you pinned down as he continues to finger fuck you nice and slow.
“So impatient. I should have known. You’ve been impatient all night, haven’t you?” You whine out affirmations and screw your eyes shut as the pressure starts to build to a crescendo. Charlie picks up speed, his voice growing deeper as he continues. “Wanted me to fuck you on the pinball machine in front of everyone, didn’t you?”
You gasp and toss your head back against the pillows at that, hips bucking involuntarily. Charlie’s nose glides along the perimeter of your jaw, breathing in the scent of you as you fall apart. He’s never felt so powerful as he does with the feeling of your muscles tensing up under his fingertips. Never had the inspiration or audience for such language, but as you shiver and respond to his words, a surge of pride fills him and all he wants to do is dangle you over the edge over and over again.
“Charlie…” His name is a whimper when it falls from your lips. You’re so close. He feels it. So he pushes his fingers deep inside you, curling up with the motion, just as he sweeps one, two, three final circles into the throbbing bud of your clit.
You crest and you break against the tide of your orgasm, plummeting down from such heights you didn’t know you could reach from simple fingering. But there’s nothing simple about Charlie, the man who had been broken and put back together, only to find you, the universe’s overly generous reward for his perseverance.
Charlie’s slightly (unfocused) eyes focus on your heaving chest as you finally descend from the orgasm, but you’re the one to break the spell. Impatient is the perfect way to describe you as you wrap your legs around his middle and hook your ankles to trap him against you. You lunge up to arrest his mouth in a kiss. It’s sloppy, but just enough to distract him so that you can pull your wrists from his grasp. Once free you push him gently to the side so that you’re both rolling over, mouths still attached. He comes to rest on his back with you straddling him.
Charlie blinks up at you, taking in the way your breasts bounce in their bra cups as you busy yourself with the task of removing his clothes. He hadn’t even realized he was still in them until you began unbuttoning and pulling and pushing. Your impatience is clear once again in the way you divest him of the frustratingly excessive material and he finally gets the memo that he should help you.
With his pants and underwear pulled off and discarded, as well as the button up shirt that you had come to love as his signature look, you rest your palms flat on the plane of his chest. You’re still in your lingerie, as he had requested, only it is now beautiful askew. Your breasts now strain out of the cups, having been jostled into almost spilling out with your change of position. Your panties are sopping wet and stretched from his vigorous fingering and the evidence of your orgasm.
You’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.
But you become even more beautiful when you wrap your hand around his aching cock, lifting up on your knees as you do so. Your fists slides up and down, up and down and he watches it, mesmerized, until you lean forward to catch his eye.
“What should I do, Charlie?”
Your face is soft and open. You’re asking for him to continue taking the lead. And Charlie realizes right then and there that he will never want to disappoint you. Snapping out his daze he lets his fingers dig into your flesh where his hands curl around your hips.
“Sit down on my cock, sweetheart.”
Sweetheart.
The term of endearment is so sugary. He’s called his son that, but never a lover, casual or otherwise, and never during the first time. Your face, however, lights up and you do as you’re told, sinking down onto his long, hard length. The impact draws a moan from both of your throats followed by gasped phrases spoken over one another.
“You’re so big!”
“You’re so tight!”
You both laugh at the overlap but laughter turns to groans as you roll your hips experimentally. After a few moments of this, it appears that Charlie becomes the impatient one finally.
“Ride me,” he spits through gritted teeth. Your nails imprint half moons in his skin as you clench at his tone, not quite hearing the words. Charlie sucks air through his teeth at the squeeze.
“What?”
“Ride me. I need you to fucking ride me.” You can tell that he’s trying to remain cool and collected, but his brow is furrowed and his bottom lip is caught between his teeth.
So you do as he says. You lift up and drop down, feeling the length of his cock slide through your sheath with a speed that you set, establishing a rhythm that has your toes curling. You let out a particularly shameless moan and Charlie opens his eyes. They widen immediately upon seeing that you’re clutching and squeezing at your own breast with one hand while grabbing onto his hip to stabilize you with the other. The sight alone of your face, screwed up in pleasure, flips a switch in Charlie and suddenly he is thrusting up into you without mercy.
“Charlie!” you cry out, both from surprise at the increased jostling and from how tremendously good it feels.
“I should have fucked you in the arcade. I would have if I had known how good you feel.”
“I – oh fuckfuck – knew,” you barely get out. Charlie hoists you back so that he’s sitting up with his back against the headrest now. The position gives him more leverage and power so he can lift you up and down his cock, bouncing you now with a rhythm that vibrates through your entire being.
“What was that, sweetheart?” Charlie asks, engulfing one of your breasts in his huge hand. The added sensation is perfect, but not quite enough. You wonder if you can coax more.
“I knew you would feel good.” You reach down to the base of his cock, encircling it as much as possible with it’s girth, and fisting upward just as he pulls you up, therefore maximizing the squeeze on his length. Charlie inhales abruptly and drops you back down.
“Little Miss Know-it-all, are you?” His voice is harsh and it sends a thrill throughout your body. Before you can respond, you’re pushed and yanked around, losing your grip with the motion.
“What - ?” Charlie’s hand on your throat quiets you. Not because he’s truly squeezing, but because the solid warmth of his hand causes you to squeak your way to silence. His adjustments now find you pulled up to the edge of the bed, legs spread and pushed back, with Charlie standing between them. Bent over, he grounds himself with one hand on your throat and one on your hip, positioning his tip back at the entrance to your weeping cunt. You expect him to slam his hips forward, to impale you with his cock, but he pauses with the swollen head just inside your folds.
“This okay?”
This power and control, the way he is manipulating your body for your pleasure and his own – he loves it. It’s so new and yet something he now wonders how he ever did without. But he also feels the need to check in and make sure that you’re still with him. The nod you give, the sparkle in your eye, and the quirk of your lips is all it takes to convince him and then he is plowing forward, slamming himself back in again and again. You let out a full throated moan and Charlie revels in the way your eyes roll all the way back.
He wonders what else will make you do that. What else will make your eyes roll back and your toes curl and your teeth sink into your bottom lip? He wonders, as his hand presses softly into the contours of your throat, what it would feel like to squeeze a little harder, and if the pressure would make you even more desperate for him. He wonders if you like a little pain with your pleasure, as he has long suspected he might enjoy, though has never truly had the chance to confirm.
But there will be time for that.
So now, he does his best to focus in on the sounds you release. Sounds of delight and surprise and sensual thrill. He coaxes you to your second climax and you don’t fight it. You don’t demure or wait for him or hesitate. Instead you unapologetically allow yourself to get lost in the pleasure he’s built for you, seizing and quaking beneath him without shame.
The sight and feeling are so beautiful he can’t help but follow soon after, pulling out and allowing releasing all over the bra and panties you had so generously left on for him. The sight of his seed landing on the delicate lace, as you lay beneath him fucked out and smiling, causes another tremor to rock through him, and he finds that he’s still cumming long after he usually would have finished.
Charlie finds himself in a daze in the immediate aftermath of his release. He looks around for something to clean you with, and when you notice you point out a box of tissues on the desk. After he’s done his best to wipe you up, you give him a kiss on the cheek. The mundane intimacy of the act makes him blush all the way to the hidden tips of his ears. It is absurd because you had just had sex, however the press of your lips to his skin seemed to seal the deal. This was not transactional. It was something more, Charlie can’t help but think to himself as you get up from the bed and skip to the bathroom.
In your absence Charlie again registers the smallness of your room. How large – out of place, maybe – he is amongst your delicate things. He pulls on his underwear and sits back down on the mattress, unsure.
Unsure about your expectations. Unsure about whether or not you’d want him to leave. Or stay.
Before he can make a decision in either direction you are bounding back into the room, a smile on your face. Your face is freshly washed and you’re in a faded, oversized tank top, having divested yourself of your abused lingerie. Charlie swallows at the sight of your breasts, free and outlined beneath the soft fabric. He adjusts his hands in his lap. No need to let you see him getting worked up again so soon like some horny teenager. You don’t seem to notice, instead slipping easily into bed beside him, shimmying under the covers and patting the space beside you so that he does the same.
So stay he will.
Once you’re both comfortable and situated, you slide into his arms, drawing them around your body without a question or seemingly a second though. Much like the way you’d slid into his life, Charlie thinks ruefully, nuzzling his face into the top of your head as you tuck in beneath his chin.
“Charlie?”
“Hm?”
“I know you always go to that diner on 15th for breakfast,” you begin, and Charlie’s heart spasms. Both at the thought of breakfast with you and the fact that you so casually know details about him. About his likes and his habits. He pulls you in a little tighter and nods his head.
“Yeah?”
“Would you mind if I show you a new place in the morning? I think you’ll really like it.”
And Charlie laughs. Because of course you’d want to push him out of his comfort zone. It’s what you do – push him to try new things. Push him to do things he wouldn’t usually consider. Push him to be the man he’d been working so hard for the past year to be.
“Yes, but I’m not changing the way I order my eggs,” he grumbles with humor, kissing the crown of your head. “Not yet.”
~*~
The next morning you order first, and you’ve never had breakfast with Charlie before, so when he asks for the same dish, you can’t possibly know that this is his first time ordering eggs Florentine.
As you both laugh and eat and sip coffee in the outdoor seating area of the quaint café you’d picked, fingers intertwined between you on the wrought iron table, you also can’t know that this is the happiest Charlie has felt in ages.
But he makes it his mission, right there and then, to do everything in his power to make you feel the same.
~*~
Tagging some lovely friends (please let me know if you would like to be tagged or untagged in the future!): @celestiasin @tlcwrites @noocturnalchild @thedivinemissn @insufferablelust @edencherries @historyandfandoms50 @lostinthedrive @thewilddingleberries @mariesackler @safarigirlsp @direnightshade @sacklerscumrag @clydesfavoritegirl @wayward-rose @hopeamarsu @barbers-glimmerin-darlin @finn-ray-nal-beads @fizzywoohoo @maybe-your-left @aliveandlonely @han-not-solo @mrs-zimmerman @maryforyou @jynzandtonic @renmaulxo @millenialcatlady @soggywhore @transparentmeoo @leia-suns @alpha-lobito
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amazinglyegg · 3 years
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Random headcanons for Paladin Danse because I love him (based on these prompts by @/silentshayshores-2 !)
How do they feel about people shorter / taller than them?
Danse is used to being taller than basically anyone else due to being in power armour 24/7. He's also just very tall (I used to hc him as short but it seems like the general fandom consensus is Tall Danse) so he doesn't mind people shorter than him. Taller than him, however? Catch his fight-or-flight reflex kick in the second he realizes that. He has been trianed to fight people / creatures taller than him, so he's not scared or amything, but it's rare anything other than a supermutant or a deathclaw is taller than him. He'll warm up eventually.
Their sexuality?
Canonically he's multisexual and I agree with that. Demisexual bisexual with no real preference
Preferred weather?
Very sunny days, little to no clouds in the sky. He likes being able to see clearly and the heat never bothered him too much, especially not in compared to rain or snow.
What's their sleeping schedule?
In theory, 11pm to 5am. In reality? Probably more like 2am to 5am, the rest of the hours spent tinkering, reading, or just laying there in the dark staring at the ceiling. Out in the field he takes turns with whoever he's travelling with. Has fallen asleep in his power armour in the past. Scribe Haylen and knight Rhys have a silent agreement not to wake him up when he does
How's their cooking?
He knows cooking well on a survival level. Purifying water, scavenging, making sure food is safe to eat. He can make meals out of basically anything found in the wasteland, from mushrooms to bloatfly to questionable canned meat. He learned this even before he was taught in the Brotherhood, it was the only way he survived on his own for so long before moving to Rivet City. Cooking for taste? Not so much. He IS a fast learner, but he'll always put safety and preserving rations over taste factor, even when you have enough food to spare
What's their sleeping position?
When he's in a sleeping bag or sleeping around others: on his side, legs partially drawn and arm resting under his head/pillow. When he's alone he will fall asleep on his stomach, starfish spread out, probably drooling. Doesn't let anyone see him sleep like that, though.
Who do they go for comfort?
Cutler used to be his number one, and the person he confided most in. Since then, while he definitely has some friends, he's not close enough with anyone to talk to them. Even if he was, he feels as if he needs to be perfect in front of everyone to be seen as a good leader, meaning he'll rarely if ever open up. He's talked to Haylen a few times, but always apologizes after.
Something small that they enjoy?
Standing at the edge of the Prydwen, watching the sun rise. He always wakes up in time for it, and it reminds him of how far he's come, and how lucky he is to be in the Brotherhood
How do they feel about physical contact by others?
He's built high walls and is very closed off in general, making most close interactions with others somewhat awkward. Even things such as pats on the back or bumping into others on the hallways stopped being common since he was ranked to Paladin. Did I mention that he's been a Paladin for ten years? Danse is too touch-starved to know what to do, and ends up silently pushing others away with his awkwardness around the whole thing. He refuses to let himself lean into most gentle touches out of fear of letting his guard down and being seen as weak (see: who do they go for comfort) but if you manage to break down those walls and give him a real, warm hug? Expect him to burst into tears immediately
What is enough to bring them to tears?
See: above. Also, the crushing guilt of feeling as though he failed his team. He'd never dare cry in front of others but in the rare times he's sure he's alone and won't be disturbed he'll let it out, blaming himself and probably getting drunk. Other than that, he has a soft spot for orphans and got teary-eyed reuniting Billy with his parents during the Kid in a Fridge quest
Biggest pet peeve?
Rude people, especially people who talk over him during a conversation. He expects to be listened to when giving orders, so somebody shutting him up by talking over him or blatantly ignoring him in a conversation is a big sign of disrespect.
How well do they take care of themselves?
He never got the chance to have good hygiene until he got to the Brotherhood, meaning while he's completely fine with getting dirty / being unable to get clean / etc., he deeply appreciates personal hygiene when available. Showering, brushing, flossing, sometimes even moisturizing and going all-out. When it comes to mental health or self-care? Not so much. He has a habit of putting other peoples needs above his own, and especially after blind betrayal he becomes a little bit too self-destructive for his own good. He'll easily exhaust himself attempting to prove his own worth via working for hours on end, ignoring sleep, food, and even water until someone steps in and stops him
What's something they like that may be surprising to others?
He really likes children! The easygoing ones are always nice to be around and the closed off / mean ones are a challenge to win their trust. He has a soft spot for most children (especially squires) and is often caught showing them his armour / weapons, or even giving them piggy back rides when he thinks nobody is looking (we all see you, Danse)
Do they consider others family?
The closest thing he's ever had to a family is the Brotherhood, but that's mainly formality rather than actual family. He's been through so much with Recon Team Gladius that he might as well consider them family, but deep down he truly doesn't know what family means. He has nothing to base it off of, and thus he really doesn't consider anyone family.
Any bad habits that they have?
He smokes, but only rarely, and never as a social act. It keeps his hands busy and his mind quiet when he starts to overthink. He also has a habit of giving people the silent treatment when he's mad at them. He'll still do any work he has to do with them, but his conversations will be even more formal (and awkward) than before, and at any slight mention of their arguement he will find an excuse to leave. Give him enough time and he'll muster up the courage to apologize, but it's tiring to wait until then
What's their idea of a perfect vacation?
Danse generally doesn't like regular vacations, since he doesn't like being away from work for that long. Taking the Saturday off to go fishing or something is probably the closest he'll get to a proper vacation, and the most enjoyable for him
Do they get lost easily? Will they ask for directions if they are?
Danse's sense of direction is... alright. Not notably bad, but not amazing. He is good at not acting like he's lost, however. He'll keep calm and collected the entire time and act like he totally meant to take that three day detour in the wrong direction, totally. He will ask civilians for directions when he gets lost, but judges their character harshly before deciding whether he trusts their word.
How well do they accept advice?
Danse doesn't like being criticized, especially by people he's not close to. He's big on standing by all his orders, so comments on his choices make him think the person commenting is questioning his leadership. When it comes to friends or close teammates, he ends up either taking criticism way too harshly, or doing what he does with most comments and ignores it. He'd much rather learn from his mistakes than be called out
How much do they swear?
He isn't particularly against swearing, but it depends on the circumstances. He'll swear often in general (usually terms like "(god)damnit" or "what the hell") but very rarely swears while directing at a person, either talking to them or about them. He'll only curse someone out if he's really angry. He's very lenient on letting others swear
Is there anything they're bad at?
Other than holding a casual conversation? He's fairly bad at anything that takes fine motor skills. He's tried picking up hobbies like drawing or knitting, but he doesn't like working on such a small scale. Also has absolutely horrible handwriting, mostly due to not learning how to read until he was at least a teenager, but that doesn't help his case
What's their morning schedule?
He has a good internal clock that wakes him up early every morning. If he's on the Prydwen he'll exercise, shower, brush his teeth, shave, whatever, and go eat breakfast. If he's on a mission he'll usually skip exercising and clean himself as best as he can and check over his supplies, power armour, and their plan for the day. He likes having the mornings to himself
Any past injuries?
He has plenty of injuries and scars across his entire body. Most notably his eyebrow scar was from a fight with raiders alongside Cutler, several months before they joined the Brotherhood. Cutler was the one who gave him stitches. He has a gunshot wound in his shoulder, deep scars on his thigh from a Yao Guai and permanently messed up knuckles from punching things (people, or inanimate objects). His injuries become fewer and farther between the more he uses his power armour, but that doesn't protect him from everything.
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kuroopaisen · 4 years
Text
heart attack || bokuto koutarou
➵ your hot roommate likes to walk around without his shirt on. 
wc: 2.8k
warnings: implied f!reader, swearing, pure chaos
a/n: @stelleum jac darling, happy birthday! i tried writing you shipfic but i chickened out and wrote this instead (mayhaps i’ll finish the bkak fic one day, but for now it will sit in my drafts hh). i’ve already wished you a happy birthday so i won’t write you an essay here (although i’m fully capable of it), but i love you, and i’m so grateful to be counted amongst your friends. you bring such light and laughter with you, and i honestly feel like i’ve learnt a lot from being your friend. i hope you find this fic delightfully chaotic (just like you), and that it manages to make you smile a little -- you deserve nothing less (also big shout out to remy and ren for reading over this disaster fdsljk)
“he’s doing it again.”
“huh?” oikawa’s voice crackles from the other end of the phone.
“he’s walking around the house shirtless.”
it takes oikawa a few seconds to catch up. “oh, right. your hot roommate.”
you two have had this conversation many a time over the past two weeks. you’d quickly surmised that bokuto koutarou would be the death of you. probably by heart attack. oikawa had found that idea stupid.
“what do i do?” you ask, chewing on your lip.
“you could always ask him out.”
you scoff at the absolute certainty in his voice. “how dare you assume i wouldn’t shrivel up and die if i so much as attempted that?”
you don’t need to see your best friend to know he’s rolling his eyes at you. “why would you shrivel up and die?”
“what if he says no?”
“he’s not going to say no.”
“but he could.”
“you’re hot, it’ll be fine.”
“but you haven’t seen him, tooru,” you huff, waving off his assurances like they’re nothing. “pictures don’t do him justice.”
“i can’t believe you’re an adult…” oikawa sighs.
“you’re one to talk.”
“at least i can talk to people i find attractive,” he grumbles.
“he’s going to be a professional volleyball player,” you stress. “you know what they’re built like.”
“you were friends with us all throughout high school, and yet i don’t remember you ever talking about any of us like this.”
“the only one of you worth talking about is iwaizumi.”
a moment of silence. “that’s fair.”
“anyway, that’s all besides the point,” you grumble.
“do the other guys know about this?” he asks. you don’t like the playfulness in his voice.
“as a matter of fact, they don’t.”
“why not?”
“if i told them, they’d meddle,” you stress. “directly.”
“you can’t stop me from telling them.” you can tell from his voice that he’s grinning.
“i’ll block your number and never speak to you again.”
oikawa doesn’t need time to decide that it’s a viable and realistic threat.
“wait, are you hiding in your room again?” he asks.
“duh.” you roll your eyes. “i wouldn’t be talking about this in the living room, would i?”
---
meanwhile, bokuto’s sitting on the couch, quite shirtless as he twiddles his thumbs.
when kuroo had first told him that the best way to win his roommate’s heart was to ‘just walk around shirtless,’ bokuto had been a bit doubtful.
of course, kuroo hadn’t won the heart of his partner by walking around shirtless, but boukto was loath to completely disregard his friend’s advice. he does, after all, have a partner, so perhaps following his advice isn’t the worst idea.
but you’d scurried into your room almost immediately upon catching sight of him, and bokuto fears that he’s frightened you.
he likes to consider you friends. sometimes you’ll watch movies with him -- on occasion, you’ll even commit to a full anime series (even though he needs you to explain what’s actually going on half the time) -- and there’s a certain ease of conversation between the two of you. in his mind, it’s only natural that he should develop a little bit of a crush. 
unfortunately that line of common sense didn’t follow through to the next step of actually asking you out. 
---
your sheer embarrassment goes head-to-head with your insatiable hunger and loses.
you peek through a crack in your door, trying to ensure that the hallway was clear. perhaps you could survive seeing him in the front room, but an encounter in your cramped little hallway was bound to end in humiliation.
you manage to skitter into the kitchen quietly, every one of your senses on high alert for the enemy (see: bokuto koutarou’s god-like body). 
you spy the back of his head on the couch from your new vantage point. if you’re quiet enough, chances are he won’t notice that you’re in the kitchen. if the universe really gave a damn about you, then it would let you be invisible for a few seconds. 
“hey!” bokuto calls from the couch, holding a hand up.
“hey,” you mumble as you make an active effort not to look at him. damn him and his masterfully sculpted biceps. they’re almost enough to make iwaizumi jealous. almost.
you dash over to your pantry, opening it up and rifling through a couple shelves. you don’t have the mental or emotional fortitude to stand around and cook a proper meal right now, so the next best thing is instant ramen.
“whatcha looking for?”
you almost shed your skin in fright.
there’s a warmth hovering over you, and you’re far too aware of what it is.
“something to eat.” you can only hope that those words came out legibly.
“oh, yeah, there’s not really much,” he shrugs, tilting his head at you.
you’re still not looking at him. has he done something wrong?
“ah,” is all you can muster in response.
“did you want to order in?” bokuto asks, a certain lightness to his voice. it’s similar to the tone he uses when he wants to pick what you guys watch on a saturday night.
“uh—” oh no. “i—i don’t—um—”
what are you trying to say? you don’t know. bokuto has no chance of deciphering it.
but, he simply beams at you. “i’ll pay!”
sure, he has more money in his bank than you could ever dream of having – damn professional athletes and their egregious pay checks – but you still don’t want him to pay for you.  
“it’s okay,” you manage to say, holding up a hand to wave it off. 
you don’t expect him to take said hand. 
“please, let me treat you,” he grins. “as a thanks for helping me out with the bills last week.”
ah. that’s right. bokuto may be a sports star in the making, but he’s horribly lacking in the common sense most people rely on to make it through the day. 
“okay.” 
it’s very hard to say no to him when he’s looking at you like that, with his golden eyes all big and round and his fluffy hair falling around his face. damn him. 
you let him fiddle away with one of the delivery apps – you admittedly aren’t paying much attention to what he’s ordering – and entertain yourself with the bare walls of your kitchen. 
maybe you could sneak back to your room until dinner came? 
“how was your day?” bokuto asks brightly, effectively trapping you in a conversation. 
shit. 
“uh– fine?” you swallow. “my lectures felt like they wouldn’t end, but i survived.” 
“good thing you did,” he beams, tilting his head at you. 
you blush, trying to ignore just how handsome he is. “how was practice?” 
sure, you want to turn your tail and run, but you really don’t want to hurt his feelings. 
“it was good!” he grins. “tsum-tsum’s been less annoyed with me recently!”
“oh, that’s great!” you mean it. from what you’ve heard about his team, this ‘tsum-tsum’ seems like he’s the sort of person who’s hard to keep up with. 
“he almost gave me a compliment today,” bokuto said, voice brimming with pride. 
“really?” ‘tsum-tsum’ doesn’t seem like the type to give compliments, but bokuto always has a way of seeing the best in things. 
“yeah! he said my cross-court shot wasn’t half-bad!” 
you’re not quite sure if that counts as a compliment, but you won’t pop his bubble. 
“and omi didn’t flinch as much when i patted him on the back, either,” bokuto nods. 
“do you still use that hand sanitiser i gave you?” it had been a mindless little gift, one you’d bought after finding out he works with a germaphobe, but you are curious nonetheless. 
“of course!” bokuto nods enthusiastically. “it’s my lucky charm.” 
your breath catches in your throat. does he not understand what saying something like that could do to a person? especially when it’s coming from the world’s best himbo? what are you even supposed to say to that?
for the first time today, the universe takes pity on you. 
there’s a loud knock on the door. 
bokuto perks up. “i’ll get it!” 
“wait!” you call out instinctively.
bokuto pouts at you over his shoulder, frozen mid-stride.
“you’re shirtless.”
bokuto blinks at you for a moment. “is that a problem?”
three more brain cells stop fighting the good fight and perish. “no?” you frown. “yes?” he’s staring at you. “maybe?”
he’s still staring, a unique concoction of confusion, earnestness and disappointment in his eyes.
“it’s… a lot,” is all you manage to sew together.
“a lot?”
“you’re… a lot.”
“i’m a lot?” bokuto looks like he doesn’t know whether he should be upset by that statement or not.
“yes… muscles.” it’s official. you want to die. there’s no coming back from this.
bokuto glances down at his chest for a moment, a perplexed expression on his face. well, he is beefier than most, and none of his teammates are quite as built…
“just let me get it,” you breathe, well-aware of just how red your face is. after what is bound to be a horribly awkward dinner, you’d need to hop online and look for a new place to live.
you take a deep breath as you open the door, hoping, praying that this exchange, at least, would go smoothly.
you freeze as you look at the delivery boy’s face.
no way.
“holy shit,” makki grins, eyes crinkled and red cap slightly askew.
“no.” this is the last thing you need right now.
“this is where you live?” he asks, trying to pop his head through the doorway.
“uh—” you push him back instinctively, mustering up all your strength to budge the headstrong six foot asshole currently trying to force his way into your apartment.
he freezes, and you know the worst has happened.
“is that your roommate?” he asks, taking a step back with an infuriating grin on his face. “or are you getting some?”
“oh my god makki, i’m going to—”
“do you know this guy?” bokuto’s suddenly behind you, hands clasped behind his back and head tilted to the side.
“unfortunately,” you mumble, trying to keep your expression as neutral as possible. if makki catches even a hint of weakness, he’d press at it relentlessly.
you look him up and down, frowning. “i thought you were working at a tech shop or something.”
he shrugs. “i lied.”
“why?”
“i dunno,” he says, as if lying about your part-time job is the most casual thing in the world. “it sounded more impressive than ‘delivery boy’.”
it’s not like you expected any more from him, but even this feels a little strange.
bokuto’s stomach grumbles from behind you. you remember that he’s right there – and makki’s staring at him.
“why is he shirtless?” makki tilts his head to the side. “who is he?”
“my roommate,” you admit through your teeth.
makki stares at him for a few seconds more, a smirk spreading across his face. “is this why you won’t let us come over to your apartment?”
change of plans. time to pencil in a murder for seven o’clock. after your scheduled self-implosion, which is bound to happen any moment now.
“give me my food.”
“not until you answer my question,” makki grins, holding the takeout bag above your head. damn him and his height.
you glare at him, fists clenched at your sides. “i won’t hesitate and you know it.”
the threat of a knee to the balls is usually enough to make any man quiver. but not makki.
“really?” he smirks. “in front of your hot roommate?”
“i’m going to kill you—”
“i can’t believe you’ve been keeping him from us,” makki tsks, holding out a hand to bokuto. “nice to meet you. i’m a friend from high school.”
bokuto shakes his hand tentatively, a bit behind on exactly what’s going on here.
“and you are?” maki asks, a disgustingly sweet smile on his face.
“bokuto.”
“nice,” makki nods, looking him up and down. you know this will be immediately reported in the group chat. you’re never going to live this down. and, makki now knows where you live. you expect that you’re going to get some unwanted visitors very, very soon.
“get out of here,” you grumble, taking full advantage of makki’s distracted gaze and grabbing the bag out of his hand.
“hey!”
“have a nice night!” you call, pushing him out of your doorway with one hand. “i’ll leave you a bad review!”
“no, don’t—”
the door slams in his face, and you feel like you can breathe properly for the first time in the past ten minutes.
that is until you remember that bokuto’s standing right behind you. 
“should we eat?” he asks, a little too close to your ear than you would like. 
you flinch, taking a step forward. your nose presses against your front door and you curse every conceivable deity that comes to mind. 
“yes,” you nod, lightly banging your head on the door. perhaps it’s what you deserve. 
“okay,” bokuto says slowly, as if he’s not sure about what to do next. “i’ll get some plates.” 
you take a moment to catch your breath. all you have to do is make it through, what? the next twenty minutes? surely you could manage that. surely. 
bokuto’s already over by the couch, two plates in hand, and still very, very shirtless. that’s the reason everything’s gone tits up today. because he wouldn’t constrain his pectorals behind a thin wall of blended cotton. 
but you sit yourself down on the couch after unpacking your food on the coffee table. you sit yourself down on the couch, unsure if you can find the strength to start eating. 
bokuto plops himself down next to you. it’s almost like he’s vibrating with excitement. why does he have to be so damn hot and cute?
the two of you sit on the couch in total silence. 
bokuto stares at you. you make a pointed effort to look anywhere that isn’t him. 
“are you okay?” he asks, a genuine pout on his face. 
“can you… can you put a shirt on?” it feels a bit like an admission, or some kind of surrender, but this has gone on too long. 
“oh, okay.” bokuto hops up, watching you for a moment before dashing off. 
once he’s out of sight, you sigh, resting your head in your hands. what is going on? when you’d gotten back from university, you hadn’t expected the day to go like this. 
bokuto reappears out the corner of your eye, now modestly covered with a white shirt. it’s almost worse, honestly – the shirt really compliments his tan. 
“are you okay!?” his voice pitches as he moves towards you, placing a hand on your back. 
you flinch, dropping your hands from your face and closing your eyes. “yeah, i just…” honestly it feels a bit like you’re in purgatory. but that might sound a little dark. “it’s just been a weird night.” 
“i’m sorry.” you can’t see bokuto’s frown, but you hear it in his voice. 
you finally brave a proper look at him. somehow, his hair looks more deflated than usual. 
“i’m sorry if i made you uncomfortable,” he specifies, rubbing the back of his neck. 
“uh–” you swallow roughly, unsure of where to go with this. “thanks? i guess?” 
bokuto pouts at you, his gaze flicking down to the floor. “i was just trying to impress you.” 
every single thought skids to a stop. what? what? he was walking around shirtless because he was trying to impress you? well, it worked, but he probably didn’t expect it to leave you speechless. 
“you… were trying to impress me?” the words feel strange coming from your mouth, but you manage to meet his eyes. 
“yeah,” he nods, his own cheeks darkening. it’s nice to know that the embarrassment isn’t one-sided. “my friend told me it was the best way to win you over.”
whoever this friend is, you intend to have a very stern word with them.
“you could just… ask me out,” you blink at him, unsure of how to proceed. 
“i could?”
“yeah?”
“would you have said yes?”
“i–” you clear your throat, breaking eye contact. “i guess?”
“so… that’s a yes?”
“yes?” 
bokuto stares at you, cheeks even redder than before and mouth slightly agape. 
“what?” you stare back at him. is he broken? has his brain finally given up too? 
“do you wanna go on a date?”
“i–” it’s your turn to have your mouth hang slightly agape. 
“please?” he asks, eyes going round and sad. 
“sure,” you blink. you? bokuto? a date? when? how? what–
“woo-hoo!” bokuto cheers, pumping his fists in the air. “alright!” 
oh man, this boy is definitely going to be the death of you. probably by heart attack. but, maybe that’s not the worst fate. 
1K notes · View notes
prfctethereal · 3 years
Text
imagine. | james potter
thank u, next x marauders
alexa, play imagine by ariana grande
Tumblr media
pairing: james potter x reader
summary: your boyfriend takes you on a day of wonder and comfort
word count: 3,006
warnings: non sexual nudity ig?? just a lot of fluff
a/n: thank you so much for 50 followers! all the support from you guys is crazy. i appreciate every single like, reblog, and comment. here’s a piece that i put my heart and soul into so i hope you all love it as much as i do. - kennedy
***
“Alright darling, now remember, no peeking, ‘mkay?”
With James’ hands covering my eyes, he guided me through the halls of the deserted castle. He spoke barely above a whisper, keeping his voice down so it didn’t echo throughout the corridors.
I was a bit surprised this morning to be woken up before the sun had risen. Even yet, no birds had started their usual choir. It was early, too early. Not even Remus would wake up this early, so it was odd this morning to be woken up by a cheery looking James.
Somehow, James had found the counter jinx that normally prohibited any boy to come up to the girl’s dormitories, which I hadn’t known until I felt the lulling voice of my boyfriend singing me awake at four in the morning, the pads of his fingers tenderly brushing stray hairs away from my restful face. Soft lips brushed down onto my glabella, humming a gentle tune.
“Good morning beautiful.”
I pressed some sort of agreeing sound past my lips and moved closer to James, wrapping my arm around his torso, nuzzling my head into his stomach. Laughter escaped his mouth, cupping my cheek with his hand, trying to pull me away from him, but I put up a fight, smacking his hand away.
“I want to show you something.”
Intrigued, I opened one of my eyes incredulously, letting it adjust to my sights. It was definitely early morning, with slits of moonlight still peering through the sheer curtains of the dormitories. Everyone else in the room was still sleeping peacefully, soft snores rhythmically keeping everyone asleep.
Staring right at me was the love of my life, my one and only, my boyfriend, James Fleamont Potter. In the moonlight, his bright hazel eyes dazzled, showing the flecks of his green and blue hues. His round glasses sat awkwardly on the bridge of his nose, making it too easy for me to take them in my hands and place them over my own eyes. It was a little blurry but I could see James’ pouting playfully.
“Why would you do that? Now I can’t see your beautiful face.” A bright rouge tinted my cheeks as he said that, an impulse to bury my embarrassment following suit. Taking back his glasses, I could clearly see a smile creeping on his lips making me ask the age old question:
What’s gotten him so happy?
“I want to show you something.” James repeated, putting his hand over mine, helping me into a sitting position so I could really see what was going on.
James looked like he had been awake for a while, essence of energy flickering in his eyes. He was fully dressed in clothes that looked to be sticky to his body. His glistening body.
“Jamie, are you sweating?” I asked, placing my hand to his forehead, concerned. I wasn’t sure if it was the heat or the heat of the moment, but his face was glowing pink, and I only just noticed now his racing heartbeat.
“I’ve been up all morning working on something.” He cheeked, placing another gentle kiss on my cupid’s bow. “Now get up, I want to show you something.”
Eventually, I gave in, swinging my legs around the side of my bed. Dazed, I reached from my dressing gown to drape over my nightdress, as I wasn’t sure how chilly it would be outside of the common room. As silently as I could, I followed my doting boyfriend from my bedroom and through the sleeping portrait of the Fat Lady, leading up to where we are now.
“Can I open my eyes now?” I pleaded, a whimper leaving my throat as James pulled us around another corner. I had already accidentally trodden on James’ toes one too many times and I was itching to know where we were.
“Keep your eyes shut for me, alright?” James whispered into my ear, a chill running down my spine as I nodded compliantly. The initial heat of James’ hands left me face and I felt empty, even more when I heard his feet shuffling away. Using my hearing, I tried to figure out what he was doing, as he walked away from me then back towards me.
Was he pacing?
My thoughts were answered when I heard what sounded like a block of cinder moving, the rustle of rock rubbing together snapping me into my senses. Then, I heard the creaking of a door opening and I realised where we were: The Room of Requirement.
To some, it was a myth, an urban legend, but I knew it was real, as the marauders had planned their fair shares of pranks in that room. I smiled, wondering what James had gotten up to last night and why he was dragging me here at a ridiculous hour in the morning.
“Okay, you can open your eyes now sweetheart.” Greedily, I opened my eyes and took in the astonishing surroundings. The room had turned into an eloquent bedroom, with a blush king size bed up against the wall. In the corner was a closed off area with a sheer curtain keeping it hidden. An aroma of fresh linen and warm vanilla filled the room as I stepped further in. A vinyl player was set near the middle of the room, playing some quiet music to set the mood. Up against the player was a bunch of couches and a table, which seemed to be holding a plethora of different fruits and pastries.
I bee-lined for the bed though, diving into the blankets and duvet, sinking into the mattress, sighing in content. James followed behind, peeling off his shoes and over layer of his clothes, stripping into a more comfortable option. Together, we pulled the blankets over the bed, ready to go back to sleep.
“I’ll be right here when you wake up, my love.” James hummed, pulling me close to his side so I could snuggle further into his torso. His heart beat soothed me, calming me down enough to pull me into a deep slumber in the arms of my one true love.
***
When I woke, James was already awake, playing with the ends of my hair, mesmerised. As he noticed I was waking, he kissed my forehead lovingly, tightening his grip around me, cuddling me more.
“Do you want breakfast?” He asked, his raspy morning voice sending a flush to my cheeks. I straightened up to him, placing a kiss directly to his lips.
“Of course, but I would also like to know what all this is for too.” I questioned, palming the edge of his shirt over in my hands, my fingers brushing over his bare stomach.
“We can talk over breakfast.” Taking my hand, he hoisted both of us out of the covers and guided me over to the couches, making sure I was sitting comfortably before going into an enchanted refrigerator to bring out some food. Even though refrigerators are typically cold places, two steaming plates of waffles and berries emerged from the fridge, with a smiling man carrying them over.
Hungrily, I took a plate from my boyfriend and started cutting into the sweet food, placing a piece into my mouth and chewing slowly, watching James from the corner of my eyes, who hadn’t stopped grinning since I had woken up.
“So,” I started, swallowing my mouthful, “what’s all this for?” James cocked an eyebrow but I continued dutifully. “I mean, it’s just a random Saturday morning and you surprised me with all this, and I’m-” I couldn’t even find the words to describe how I felt at the moment. The adoration I had for my boyfriend was too much.
“NEWT season is over and I know how much you’ve been stressing over these exams. I just wanted one weekend for you to distance yourself from the real world. I wanted to do something for you, because you mean so much to me, and I love you more than I can even imagine.”
“I can imagine a lot.” I giggled, placing a sour berry on my tongue.
“Oh?” James challenged, licking his lips, a million thoughts running through his head. “What else can you imagine?”
I thought about that for a while, taking another bite out of the crisp waffle on my plate, before speaking up again. “I can imagine us taking a bubble bath together, like what we did on our first date, do you remember?”
“How could I forget? There were bubbles everywhere! I could never imagine how messy it would turn out but, oh well.”
“We can imagine it now.” I smiled, a silence settling between us as we finished off our breakfast. Taking sneaky glances at James while eating, I saw the way his eyes were moving, like his brain was working overtime. It was beautiful. He was beautiful. I’m in love with that man.
After a while, when both the plates had been cleared, James cleared his throat, speaking once again. “We don’t have to imagine anymore. Follow me.”
My eyes lit up as I traipsed behind James to the corner of the room. He peeled back the curtain to reveal a full bathtub, warm soapy water coming off of it in swirling vapours. Hues of different liquids poured into the tub in thick streams, mixing together.
It was exactly like our first date, when James and I had broken into the prefect’s bathroom and bathed in all the different baths they had. The memories that it brought back welled tears up in my eyes, my hand wiping them away before he could notice.
“After you, m’lady.” A smile crept up my face as I slowly stripped the night dress off my body, criss crossing my arms up and over my head, pulling it off. Hesitantly, I unclasped my bra and pulled down my panties, before stepping into the bath, the warmth of the water calming my nerves in a second. As I turned back around, I noticed the bars James following me in, climbing into the tub and sitting down next to me. His arm wrapped around my waist pulling me into his side, my head dropping down to his shoulder.
“You really are the most beautiful girl in the world.” His words spoke deeply to me as his hand stroked up and down my side lovingly. I felt like a princess who had just found her prince.
“And you are the most dashing person I’ve ever met.” I cheeked back, taking a handful of bubbles from the water and blowing them into James’ face. Sensing a fight coming on, James pulled his glasses off the bridge of his nose and sat them down on the edge of the bath, getting his game face ready.
“Oh, you’re on.” Is all he said before taking his own fistfull of bubbles and dropping them over my head, trickles of water running down the side of my face. Grinning menacingly, I gripped onto his shoulders, pulling him closer to my body before diving under the water, pulling his in with me. The world seemed to slow down for a moment as we stared at each other in the tinted water, holding our breaths as we waited for the next person to make their move. We didn’t wait long though as James used his strength to flip me over so he was on top of me, pulled us out of the water and pinned me to the side of the bath.
“Okay, okay, you win.” I pouted, a giggle falling from my lips as James released me from his grasp.
“What’s my prize?” A cunning grin rose on his face as I contemplated what to do. I could pull him back under the water or let him meet another ball of bubbles.
“This.” I said, pulling him close towards me, kissing him slowly on his lips. What was meant to be a short and sweet kiss turned longer and sensual as James' arms pulled me closer by my waist and my arms shot up around his neck. The kiss quickly turned passionate as James tilted my head up just a little to make me gasp, his tongue using this as an invitation to slip into my mouth.
After a few more minutes of just being with each other, we pulled away, our lungs thanking us for returning air into our systems. We were left breathless, panting as James’ hands went up to my cheeks, his thumb gently caressing my cheekbone.
“I really enjoyed that prize.” He smirked, running his fingers through my tresses of hair. I playfully splashed him with the water in the tub, swinging my legs over his lap to snuggle back into his chest. His breathing matched mine as we sat like this for a quiet moment.
“You know I love you, right?” James croaked out, a slight amount of anxiety detected in his voice. The question surprised me for a moment, catching me off guard, but I soon composed myself, looking at James directly in his doe like eyes.
“Of course, I do, love.” I sighed, running my thumb over his plump lips before leaning upwards to place one more peck at the corner of his mouth. “And I love you too. More than anything.”
“More than anything?” James laughed, his fingers falling down to my waist to tickle me gently. “More than waffles?”
“More than anything. Definitely more than waffles.” I melted in his grasp, pulling his hands off my waist and into my own hands, tugging him upwards into a standing position. “Do you know what else I can imagine?”
“Oh? What else can you imagine?”
“I can imagine us dancing around right now.”
“Whatever you can imagine can come true. Anything for you.” And with that, James bent down, kissing my knuckles like a true gentleman.
Carefully, we stepped out of the bathtub together and I took a few towels from a table and gave one to James. He rubbed the towel gently over his chest before tying it down so it hung loosely off of his hips. I patted the towel against my hot skin, feeling a bit of relief from the cold material. Once I was sufficiently dry, I tied it just above my breasts, so the towel covered my torso and most of my thighs.
I followed James out of the secluded bath area and into the open room where I found his playing with the vinyl player. When a new song started playing, he took my hand in his and placed his other hand on my waist, waiting for me to take his shoulder. As I did, I felt James immediately spin me around and dip me softly, kissing my forehead. Blushing again, I let James take control a bit, spinning me around like we were at a ball. This time, I wasn’t stepping on his toes with every moment and it felt like magic. The world seemed to have slowed down for us and we were the only two left. Nothing mattered except the man holding me right now and trying to listen out for the music so I didn’t fall on my head.
“Do you know what this song is?” James asked, spinning me in his arms once more.
“I don’t actually.” I pondered for a moment then spoke again. “It’s very lovely. What is it called?”
“It’s called Euphemia.” My eyes widened slightly as I recognised that name as the name of James’ mother. “My dad wrote it for her for their first anniversary. Whenever my mum would have a bad day, my dad would always play it through the house. One time, I was supposed to be asleep but I could hear my mum crying in the room over. So, I got up and started playing the song. She immediately stopped crying. To this day, I don’t know what she was crying about, but I do know that this song brought her joy.”
I paused before speaking again, not wanting to ruin the moment. “It’s beautiful, James. I never knew your dad wrote music.”
“It was the only song he ever wrote. He told me that when I find someone that I love, I should play it for them. So I did.” My heart leaped when James said that, a few tears dripping down my cheeks in happiness, just for James to brush them away with his fingers. Then, without thinking, I spoke again.
“Imagine if we grow old together. We could be dancing in our own living room to this song.” I didn’t realise what I had said until I saw James’ eyes light up and the biggest smile ever crept up on his face. Without being able to even register what was happening, James got down on one knee and removed the Potter family ring from his finger.
“[Y/N] [L/N], I am here to make anything you can imagine come true. This ring has been in the Potter family for generations and it’s time I give it to you, for you are going to be the next Potter. You make me the happiest man ever and it’s time you know how much you mean to me. I know there’s a war going on outside of Hogwarts, but frankly, I don’t care. I want to be with you forever, through thick and thin, through high and low. If you will let me, I can be your everything. Once we get out of school, we can buy our own little cottage in the countryside like you always wanted. We can wake up next to each other each morning like you always wanted. My darling angel, will you marry me?”
It was perfect. My head was nodding frantically before I even had time to get the words out of my mouth. All I knew was the love of my life on his knee in front of me, ready to take the next step in our lives together.
“Yes, James Potter. I will marry you.”
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johnkrrasinski · 4 years
Text
be my baby; 
full masterlist
Pairings: bucky barnes x camgirl!reader (modern au)
Word count: 1,834
Warning: SMUT. sexy times, cuss words, masturbation, (female & male). MUST BE 18+ 
Summary: you were a camgirl and bucky barnes was your favorite regular client. what happens when you realized you were catching feelings? 
a/n: this one’s written for @candy-and-writing​‘s 1000 followers writing challenge. congrats girl! i chose the prompt “you’re fucking beautiful.” 
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⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒
The screen of your laptop lit up, illuminating the dimmed room you were unchaperoned in. The ringing tone reverberated, waiting for you to accept the call, and the familiar face and those sapphire blue eyes emerged.
"Hey there, handsome." You coquettishly whispered.
"Hey, baby. You ready to make daddy feel good tonight?"
"Yes, daddy. I’m always ready for you." You writhed for the man on the screen.
Bucky had been one of your regular clients for three months now and he was irrefutably your favourite. Those hypnotizing blue eyes and that deep gravel voice, especially when he went into the full commanding mode, mandating you to please him; that smug look on his face when he triumphantly made you roll your eyes to the back of your head, and the way his gentle words would soothe you afterwards made you wish he was right there in the same room as you instead of being linked by internet access. Sometimes you'd think that you were falling for the man, but the stringent voice in your head would quickly clear those daydreams away saying, "no! you gotta be professional. He probably has a girlfriend or a wife in real life." (and you swear you didn't hear your heart fracturing at the thought)
"Good girl. Always so obedient for daddy, huh?" you nodded. "Now take off that bra and those panties, then lean back and spread your legs wide for me."
"Yes, daddy," you followed his orders; spreading your legs wide, putting each on the sides of your laptop, giving him a full display of your glistening cunt.
"Such a pretty cunt. Now, rub that clit for me, c'mon."
You slowly slid your fingers down from your bare chest, to your belly and then to the spot that he wanted you to touch. You made a circling motion on the sensitive bundle of nerves. You shut your eyes as you let yourself relish the pleasure. You whimpered with your mouth open and bit your lip to suppress it.
"Play with your tits baby." Your other hand move to your breast and you groped the globe and then you pinched the nipple. "Yeah, just like that. God, you're so fucking beautiful." You moaned at the piquant sting, and you rubbed your clit more furiously as you felt yourself getting more soaked. You felt the familiar bubble forming in your abdomen ready to burst in seconds.
"Can I cum daddy, please?" You whined as you kept playing with your breast and fingers nudging the bud.
"Not yet babygirl, now insert two fingers inside that cunt."
You did as he said, and shoved two digits through your tight entrance and you moved them in and out as you felt your fingers getting drenched, the squelching sounds elevated the eroticism in the scene.
"Keep one hand on your sexy tits baby, yeah fuck that cunt for me."
As you shut your eyes once more, trying to focus on stroking the spot that pushes you to the edge every time, you heard the sound of him unzipping his pants, and he pulled down his boxer to his thighs, just enough to let his massive cock spring free.
His fingers circled around his shaft, pumping himself up and down, as he kept his sight fixated on you, watching every movement you make, the way your face contorted in pleasure and your brows furrowed, and euphonious sounds escaping your lips, it riled his cock more and more, getting it as hard and as stiff as a rock.
"Goddamnit, you're so fucking gorgeous." He grunted through his ragged breathing. "Think of my giant cock destroying that cunt, using you like the dirty little slut you are." His words caused shivers cascading your spine, as you envisioned being pinned underneath him with you ass up in the air and your face squeezed to the pillow.
You squirmed as your cries grew an octave higher, picturing his hands wrapped around your throat as he pounded into you vigorously from behind, not giving you any mercy or repose.
"Gonna fuck you until you're braindead until you can't do anything else but beg for my cock to make you cum like a whore." You picked up the pace, shoving your fingers relentlessly and thrashed around on the sheets.
You felt yourself clenching around your own digits, the tightening coil was seconds away into plummeting you into bliss. "Oh god, please, I'm so close daddy, please!" You pleaded through your ragged breathing as you arched your back.
"Beg louder, baby."
"I need to cum now, daddy! Please!" Your heart pounded against your ribcage, a common aftereffect from your sessions with Bucky.
"Attagirl. Cum for me babygirl, show me what a dirty little whore you are for me."
A few more vehement onslaughts and your abdomen convulsed. Your orgasm erupted, clouding your brain with euphoria, knocking the breath out of your lungs. Your body shook as your cries echoed on the walls of your room.
Bucky was still running his hand up and down, reaching his own impending climax. He felt his cock twitching and in a few more pumps, he shot out ribbons of his thick load all over his stomach. He growled as he envisioned painting your womb white with his seed, burying himself deep inside you until every last drop was stored.
He threw his head back and cussed in front of the camera. It was truly a magnificent sight. Man, Bucky knew what he signed up for in the first place and that every girl on this website would keep it strictly professional and online but, the number of times he’d fantasized about taking you on a date to a nice restaurant and then bring you home afterwards to fuck you against the bathroom wall or in front of the mirror all night long would easily give you a reason to kick him out or conclude any sexual engagements with him in the future. Bucky was too madly infatuated with you to risk it.
You were the only thing he looked forward to after a long, dull day at work. You had an edge around you that just pulled him in like a magnet, once he had a taste of you, he was addicted. And he hadn’t even physically tasted you yet. God, he could imagine just how sweet you would taste on his tongue. But you were also capable of being the ideal submissive that he desired. Those doe eyes looking at him through the lens and the way you’d bite your lip innocently, teasing him like the devil. It drove him nuts. And he only longed for more.
Bucky always thought that he wasn’t the type to settle down in a relationship but, if he were, you would exactly be the type of girl that could make him change his mind. Sometimes within the one-hour sessions that he had with you, he would tell you about his day and get all the tension of his chest to you and you would be an excellent listener, always paying attention to every word and never failed to making relieve him of the stress. Along the way, you both felt like you had known each other better than most people that you interacted with in real lives.
Was he catching feelings for you? No, no, no, for fuck’s sake, get it together, Barnes! She only saw you as another of her client!
The thought of you exposing every inch of your body to other men and women caused an extreme detestation in him and it was bugging the hell out of him.
“You did good, babygirl.”
“Thank you, daddy. Do you feel good?”
“Absolutely.” His smile was warm, a contrast to the one that would show when he was tormenting you.
“Do you wanna talk about your day, daddy?”
“Nothing new. Just another boring day at the job.”
“Well, at least mine is the complete opposite.” You winked at him.
He chuckled, amused by your witty remark. Then it was quiet for a few seconds.
“Babygirl, I’ve been thinking…”
“Yeah? What is that, daddy?”
“I know I agreed that we’d keep it strictly professional but, goddamnit, I can’t get you out of my mind for the last few months now. And you’re just… God, you’re fucking amazing. So I was wondering, would you like to meet up? I’ll take you on a nice date, and I’ll pick you up wherever you are.”
You were tongue-tied. You’d always thought that Bucky was never interested to see you in person. You always wondered about him, composing fiction in your head, every night before you drift into a deep slumber, based on all the data that he decided to share with you. You always imagined about kissing him, being on your knees for him as you wrapped your lips around his manhood, and using your body like a ragdoll. Because that’s the only place where you could touch him and feel him.
And now here he was, asking you if you were interested in meeting him in person and go on a date with him. You know that when you first applied for this job, you vowed to yourself that you’d keep it strictly professional and that you’d never let your feelings defeat your common sense. But those oaths were disrupted since the day this job introduced you to Bucky.
You couldn’t decide whether you were grateful or woeful for that.
But now you knew that it was the former. Because everything you had dreamt of for the last three months came true and you were bubbling with joy. You were ecstatic, like a girl who had just been asked by her crush to go to prom with him.
“Yes, yes daddy! I wanna go on a date with you.”
“You serious?” His expression was elated.
“Yes! I’d love to know you more, daddy.”
“Oh man, I should’ve been more prepared, so… How about you give me your number and text me your address later? This Saturday, 8 PM. Sounds good?”
“Yes, daddy. It does.”
“Alright. God, I can't fucking wait to see that beautiful face in person… Oh and by the way, you don’t have to call me daddy when we’re not getting each other off, baby. You can call me Bucky. I love to hear the sound of my name rolling off your tongue.”
“Okay, Bucky.”
You exchanged number before you ended the session and you instantly texted your address. What an odd coincidence it is that you both lived in New York. He worked at Wall Street and he reminded you that he was going to be at your front door at 8 PM this Saturday. You were jittery, anticipating for the weekend. You didn’t know if he was going to be as wonderful as he seemed to be in real life or if the date would lead to something more between you, but one thing that you knew for sure was that you certainly needed to shop for a new dress.
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justkending · 3 years
Text
The Number One Rule. Chapter 15.
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Summary: Y/N has always been seen as “Steve’s rambunctious sister.” However, she grew up, graduated, and moved to London to study abroad for 4 years and get her bachelor's degree. The girl that returns looks nothing like the teenager that left, but don’t worry the attitude is still there and stronger than ever. What’s to come of the two grown adults that used to push each other's buttons, but now have a lot more in common than they’ve ever realized.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Y/N Rogers (Steve’s little sister)
Word Count: 3100+
A/N: Ladies and gentleman. This is in one of my top 3 chapters I’ve written in this series. The next one being my number 1;) I hope you enjoy and I would love any and all feedback you are willing to share!! xoxoxo
Chapter Fifteen:
Eventually when Bucky had snapped out of his thoughts, Y/N had long fallen asleep on him. He smiled down at her with a sad smile. One filled with remorse for everything she had gone through, but pride in how she handled it and didn’t let it destroy her. At least not to the extent that a lot of people get into.
She had years to do that, whereas Bucky was fresh on the subject. It would take him time to move on from that for her. He couldn’t help but feel hate for himself knowing exactly what party she was talking about. 
It was one of the few he and Steve didn’t attend. They had planned on it, but Dot wanted a quiet night in, and Steve just didn’t feel like it or something. It had been a while since that party, so he didn’t remember intricate details. 7 years to be exact. And the only reason he could guess which one it was, was because of how she acted after it. A whole month of depression and guilt she sat with and it showed. For the last 7 years Y/N had carried that with her. The only person she trusted to tell to this day was Beck. Now he was the other. 
He gathered her up in his arms, and she drowsily threw her own over his shoulders and hung on in a sleepy daze as he brought her up the stairs. He laid her in her bed, turned on her fan, and tucked her in. 
But as he stood to go back downstairs, her hand clasped around his. 
“Where y’ going?” she asked. The wine was playing a big part in the sleepiness and he could tell by her weak squeeze to his hand. 
“I’m just going to clean up downstairs. I’ll be back up in a second, sweetheart,” she nodded before giving him another squeeze to his hand and pulling the bed covers up to her cheeks. He smiled at her cute self and bent down kissing her forehead. He moved the strands of hair they fell over her eyes and studied her for a second. 
Eventually, he pulled away and went to do what he said. Popcorn kernels trashed and bowls cleaned. Leftover wine in the fridge and beer bottles recycled. He folded the blankets on the couch and set the pillows back in their original arrangement. Lastly, he went and checked to make sure all the doors were locked for the night. He had spent the night there enough to do a lock up without issues. 
Coming back upstairs, he changed into his own pajamas and snuck into the other side of the bed. Careful not to wake her, he gently and ever so softly, pulled her back to him. In her sleep, she turned to where they were face to face. Curling into his chest in comfort, trying to get as close as she could. 
He couldn’t hold in the chuckle that rumbled through his chest as she nuzzled under his chin. He ran his hand up and down her back and noticed her body relaxing with each stroke. He was glad he had that effect on her. It was the least he could offer after not being there for her in those hard times.
Now when he held her, he wasn’t just protecting her, but also trying to shield her from any more pain. He had been doing that his whole life for the family that the Roger’s had become to him. But now was different. This was a different kind of defense. This wasn’t just family protection. This was protection for someone you love. 
________________
The next morning, Y/N was the first to wake. She found herself practically embedded in Bucky’s arms. He had wrapped his giant self around her waist pulling her in close to his body. 
They had cuddled before, and even had a few sleepovers when Steve wasn’t in town, or if Becca wasn’t going to be home for the night and lent them her space. But it was only enough to count on one hand. That, plus, it never escalated to anything other than cuddling and maybe a makeout session here and there. 
Bucky had been gentle and patient in that area. Even if they hadn’t had that talk yet at that point, he didn’t push. Something she wasn’t used to in most of the guys she had dated. Pietro probably being the only other one that was understanding of it. 
Even if they had been dating a little over a month, she was glad they were taking it slow. Even if they had known each other their whole lifes. 
She somehow was able to turn in his arms and see a soft smile on his lips. He wasn’t awake, so he must have been dreaming of something nice. She took a second just breathing him in and trying to wrap her head around how all this came to be. 
Sure she had crushes on him growing up. I mean who doesn’t form a crush for your older brother's hot best friend. Though if she was being honest, she had always thought deep down that it was never a card that would be played in this game of life. 
Little did they know, it would just take time and growth. Then the fates would do with them what they will. Most card games were just a game of chance. You never know what’s going to come around the corner...
Eventually, she pulled herself away ever so gently and quietly to escape downstairs and make breakfast. She was still in her sleep shorts, but at some point took off her sweatshirt in the night from almost overheating. That plus the surprisingly excessive amount of body heat Bucky gave off made it hard to sleep with it on. 
She found a new one laying over her chair in the corner and threw it on before grabbing a hair tie and brushing her bed head up into a bun. 
Tiptoeing to the door, she slowly closed it leaving it open just a crack. 
Just as she took a step on the stairs, she heard the front door unlock and open. Freezing in her spot she waited a second. The only person who had a key besides their mom and her was…
“Hey, sis,” Steve said coming around the corner seeing her at the top of the stairs. 
“S-Steve,” she said in almost a whisper. Panic. Fear. Dread hit her at full force.“What, um, what are you doing here?”
“It’s Saturday and mom’s out of town, and I knew you were home alone. I thought I’d come over and we can go get breakfast or something,” he said with a sweet innocent smile. 
Running down the stairs a little quicker, she met him at the bottom. 
“Um, why didn’t you call? I would have gotten ready. I just woke up,” her voice was filled with anxiety and Steve noticed. 
“I thought I’d surprise you,” he said, raising an eyebrow. “You ok? You seem off?”
“Um, no. I’m fine. I just got a text from work that one of the projects they had me on needs to be done sooner than I expected.” How she came up with that lie on the spot like that? She had no idea, but she ran with it. “Yeah, not the best thing to wake up too. Making me a little nervous.”
“Oh, well do you want to go get breakfast and we can talk about it? I’ve barely heard about anything with your new job. We need to catch up, Mini,” he said, poking her stomach and making her let out a loud laugh, having always been super ticklish. 
Just seconds after that, having heard voices and a loud almost shout, Bucky swug open the door and peered down the stairway where they were both at the bottom. 
Two seconds. 
Two seconds was all it took for Steve to put two and two together in his head. Bucky acting weird lately. Sneaking off randomly and never telling Steve anything, which wasn’t like him in their friendship. Hell, he had even noticed Bucky’s lingering looks, but always put in the back of his mind thinking nothing of it. 
But now. Oh, he was thinking about something now. 
Bucky was frozen at the top of the stairs, eyes locked with Steve. To make matters worse, he only had pajama pants on and no shirt.
Even from the distance of the stairwell, Bucky could see the storm brewing in the blue eyes of his best friend. 
“Steve,” Y/N started placing a hand on his arm. 
The blonde immediately ripped away from her as he turned to fully face Bucky. The alpha male, big brother, pissed off best friend was in a stance ready to fight. 
“Why the FUCK did you just come out of my sister’s room half fucking naked?” Steve growled.
“Steve, you don’t know the full story,” Y/N said softly, but she could sense the tension and for once in her life, she was slightly scared to enter the fight. 
“The fuck I don’t know the full story,” Steve said finally whipping his head back to Y/N. His blue eyes were carrying a category 5 hurricane in those ocean blues. But they didn’t stay on her long as he turned back to Bucky. 
“Listen,” Bucky said, coming down slowly. 
“I don’t know if I want to,” he responded through his teeth. “Take one more step down here, and you’re going to need some serious dental work and a nose job.”
Bucky froze about 4-5 steps away from the siblings. Finally, he looked at Y/N, worry in his eyes, but they were also apologetic. 
Y/N immediately moved around Steve and stood between the two. Closer to Steve to try and hold him back if she needed to. 
“Now wait a damn minute,” she spoke up looking straight at her older brother even if he was sending a death glare past her shoulder. “You need to calm down before we talk-”
“No. You need to go to your room. Bucky and I need to talk,” he said in an authoritative voice. 
“Excuse me?” she retorted back. Her gentleness in the situation was fading and being replaced with aggravation. “Go to my room? Am I a 13 year old girl?” she said stepping in his eyeline so he was looking at her. 
“This isn’t a fucking joke, Y/N!” He shouted. “Go to your room!”
“No,” she replied, folding her arms across her chest. 
The two had this kind staring contest all the time growing up. Anytime there was a fight, they almost never relented with their stubborn asses. Their mom or dad had to send them to their rooms themselves and kept them there. The time ranging from 20 minutes to 5 hours before they calmed down. 
They were two of the most headstrong ornery people to live in this world. And it didn’t help that they were now pitted against each other. This kind of fight looked as if it could be ranging more into weeks or months. 
Knowing and experiencing situations like this with them before, Bucky spoke up again. 
“Y/N, you should listen to him. We need to talk,” he said sedately. 
“I leave and he’s going to beat your ass,” Y/N said, still staring at her brother. 
“I think he’s going to beat my ass either way,” Bucky mumbled. “Really Y/N. Just give us a second.”
“I’m a part of this equation too,” she said. Her tone easing just enough to be noticed. 
“Yes, you are. But right now, Steve and I need to talk first,” he said trying his best to defuse the fire against the heated situation happening in the entryway of their house. 
There were a few more seconds of silence as they glared at the other. 
“Fine, but I’m coming back down in 10 minutes,” she bartered. 
No one responded as she started to go up the stairs backwards. The staredown did not cease until she was even with Bucky on the steps. 
“If he does anything stupid, I’m going to beat his ass,” she said looking at Bucky. 
“I’m sure you will,” he said with a small smile that was forced for reassurance. 
She placed a hand on his shoulder. A silent good luck as they studied the other in a quick second. 
Turning back to look at Steve, she saw he was still in a rigid stance. The tension in his shoulders doing nothing but grow with every passing second. She would’ve sent him one more warning glare if he was looking, but his eyes were trained on Bucky with a look that could kill. 
Eventually she went into her room and shut her door, leaving it open just a crack. They deserved their privacy no matter how bad she wanted to step in. Deep down she knew, as best friends, they needed to talk on their own. 
Bucky looked back down and saw a bull looking at him like he was a red cape.
“Outside. Now,” Steve commanded before stomping off to the back and letting the screen door slam harshly. 
Letting out a long sigh and running a hand down his face, he finally went down the stairs. He grabbed a shirt from the bag he had left down there and headed to the backyard. Steve already in the grass pacing. 
“Steve,” Bucky said softly as he walked down the porch steps barefoot. 
Instantly, a fist collided with his face. He stumbled trying his best to not fall from the impact. When he looked up, grasping his jaw, he sent a glare to Steve. 
“I’m not saying I don’t deserve that, but-”
“Oh, you deserve a lot more than that, but I need you to explain what the HELL I just walked into and you can’t do that with no teeth,” Steve glowered. 
Looking at him while straightening his posture he wiggled his jaw some feeling just a tad bit of blood on his lip. Damn him for teaching Steve how to make a proper swing like that. 
“You gonna punch me again before I talk, or can I fucking explain myself now?” No response, only a stare was given. “Ok, so I’ve been hiding something from you.” Steve raised an eyebrow. 
“You think?”
“Listen, I’m almost as taken aback as you. One day, she’s like a little sister running around with my actual sister, and the next she's a mature grown adult who knows what she wants, exudes confidence, and is intelligent beyond measure.” He paused before adding. “Not that we didn’t know that.”
“I know what my sister is. What I want to know is why you’re sleeping with her?” Steve said, taking a step closer. 
Bucky just straightened up more as if expecting another hit. But then he processed Steve’s sentence. 
“Sleeping with her?” he questioned almost in shock. Steve not breaking his gaze. “I’m not fucking sleeping with her, asshole! I’m dating her.”
The smallest amount of tension released from Steve’s body and his face wasn’t frowning as much.
“You’re dating?” 
“Yes. Dating.”
“So you guys haven’t-”
“No. I’m a little upset that you think that low of me,” Bucky scoffed. “You think I would really just start booty calling my best friend's sister? If I wanted a friend with benefits, I can easily find a girl at a bar,” he said, taking a deep breath and running a hand through his hair. “You’re sister isn’t a girl from a bar, Steve.”
Steve was silent processing it. He still wasn’t happy, but at least it wasn’t as bad as had thought. 
“Listen, Y/N’s been in my life just as long as she has been in yours. We’ve grown up together, created childhood memories together, picked on each other, and protected each other. She would be the last person on this earth I would want to degrade to a one night stand. She deserves so much more than that.”
“Exactly,” Steve said. 
Bucky paused taking note of Steve’s tone. “Exactly? Why do you say it like that?”  
“I mean she deserves a lot,” he said, confirming Buck’s thought. 
“I see. So I don’t make the cut?” Bucky said, now getting frustrated. The silence was enough of an answer to his question. “Wow. 26 years of being best friends and you think that little of me?”
“She’s my sister,” Steve answered. A slight tone of apology behind his words, but he kept the stoic face. 
“Yes, Steve she is! And 2+2= 4! We know this!” he said waving his arms and scoffing as he turned in his spot before turning back. Hands on his hips before one came up and ran a hand through his slight beard. 
“You know what? Screw this. I’m not going to sit here and be that guy that says, ‘Yeah, you’re right. She doesn’t deserve me. I’m not good enough for her.’ You know why, Steve? Because I know that. And it’s because I know that, that I’m going to strive with every muscle in my body and every might of my being to make sure I can be that for her one day. To make sure I can give her everything and more that she deserves. To make sure she never has to see a sad day again. To make sure she only experiences joy if I have any say. To make absolutely sure that no one ever hurts her. Why? Because I love her!”
Out of breath, Bucky chest heaving up and down showed how hard his lungs were working to get air back in them. 
Steve’s posture had almost gone back to normal. The anger no longer there. Whatever emotion he was feeling, Bucky couldn’t tell. 
“How long?” Steve asked. 
“What?” Bucky asked, confused. 
“How long have you loved her?” he repeated, looking down at the ground. 
Bucky paused. He couldn’t actually answer that. There was no specific time frame. Truth was he had loved her for a while. 
“Honestly, longer than I know... It’s just taken me this long to figure out that’s what this feeling was.”
Steve nodded his head as he put his hands in his pockets and continued to stare at the dirt by his feet. 
“Ok.”
Taken aback, Bucky's eyes widened. 
“Ok?” 
“Yeah. Ok,” Steve repeated before he started walking to the back fence that led to the driveway. 
“Wait. You’re just going to leave it at 'Ok,’ and walk away?” Bucky rushed over to stop him. 
Steve slowly turned from staring at the ground and then back at him. 
“You know, I thought that we were close enough that you could come to me with this kind of thing. That you wouldn’t feel like you had to hide it from me. Y/N and you both,” he said with pursed lips. “Guess I was wrong.” 
With that he turned back and walked to his car. Bucky watched as he started the engine, pulled out, and disappeared. 
What the hell kind of mess just happened?
(Tags for this series will be closing soon as it is getting pretty full, please send an ask if you want to be added:)
I’ll post on whatever chapter I decided to close it down here.
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