An aromantic autistic reading of Joker Out's "Bluza"/"the Blouse"
I have a few words about Bluza. The Blouse.
When I first heard the title, I felt a connection to this song yet in a very tongue-in-cheek way. Because I read the working title was a nod to the white holed sweater blouse (the slut shirt) Bojan forgot at Jere’s place last autumn. But then thanks to JokerOutSubs I realized that this song really speaks to me in another way.
Disclaimer: I am speaking about this from an autistic aroace point of view and as a person who has masked most their lives and doesn’t drink. I hope to explain why this matters in the post below.
The lines that especially spoke to me are these:
Ja ko pijana budala
Ali čaše nisam popio
Jamislim da sam se zaljubio u tebe
I’m acting like a drunk idiot
But I haven’t had a single glass
I think I’ve fallen in love with you
As a person who has spend most my life being critical about what to say, do, and how I show of myself to people I see the drunkenness described here not as literal but as a form of unmasking. When you find that one person you feel so comfortable around that you know that they won’t leave you or care if you stop being presentable in the eyes of society.
The result is that you may seem drunk and out of character when you are close to them. Drunk as in unlike yourself but also much more yourself. You dare to be authentic and to be silly and vulnerable because this person next to you gets you. No alcohol you could consume would fill you with as much giddiness as being with this person does. There is something about this one person that just speaks to you and let you know that you are safe.
While not having been drunk myself this is what I expect is the feeling most drunk people are searching for: the experience of not caring about what other people might think about them anymore. They just exist outside time and space in a bubble of bliss.
The person in the song is that for Bojan. His bubble of bliss – his safe space.
I’ve been lucky enough to have people like that too for small periods of time. And just like the next line I have felt very strongly connected to the person in those moments thinking “is this was love feels like?”. And here I don’t necessarily mean romantic attraction/love. I mean love as in a deeper, more profound level. The love that is outside of bodily desire. It is two spirits – two beings finding a home in the other person. A home where you can be giddy and drunk without having touch a single drink.
It is no secret that I love the idea of queer platonic love. When I read this, I read it as queer platonic. I read it as beautifully strange, brotherly, romantic, and platonic all at once.
The chorus kind of develops this feeling and adds and aromantic layer to it:
Baš ja
Koji nisam verovao
Da za nekim biću lud
Yes, me who didn’t believe
I would be crazy about someone
I read this as a very much an aspec experience.
You may have gone most of your life feeling othered for not experiencing those feelings of romantic attraction the world around you constantly tell you that you should.
Then this person comes along. This person that is your haven, that you can fool around with and open up around. There’s something that seems different, seems honest and so it brings you that feeling of bliss I mentioned earlier. That feeling the world around you have tried to tell you exists for years, yet you never believed would happen to you.
You may have believed yourself to be broken or maybe the world around you too much for seemingly being crazy about love. But now in this moment of bliss, drunk without having drunk, you get it. You want to be with this person, do all the silly things the media tells you are romantic. Not because you are forced to but because it would mean spending more time with your person. And every little second you can spend with your person feels like a blessing.
That is my take on the song at least. Thank you for reading.
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kalo's 1k event ౨ৎ⋆˚。⋆
𝗶 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗮 𝗰𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗯𝗲 𝗮 𝗳𝗮𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗲 ₊˙♡﹗
words from kalo : thank you all for 1k! it was a long journey to get here and it's an honor to still have so many of you still waiting patiently even after all of my hiatuses! i love you all and i hope this event is enough to show how much i appreciate all of you ♡ ♡⸝⸝
𝗻𝗼𝘄, 𝗹𝗲𝘁'𝘀 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁'𝘀 𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗲𝘀 ₊˚ෆ
part one : matchups
𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 :
𝟏. i will only do matchups for characters i write for, including hsr men! please include the fandom you want a matchup from! you can request multiple!
𝟐. these are strictly description based! the more you tell me about yourself, the more accurate your matchup will be!
𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐨 : mbti, ideal date, ideal type, hobbies, comfort place
𝗽𝘀𝘀𝘁! — fun info like favorite season or holidays can also inspire kalo to write a scenario for you!
part two : song fics
𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 :
𝟏. i will only do song fics for characters i write for!
𝟐. anyone language song is alright, as long as i can look up english lyrics for it!
𝟑. edm will not be accepted! nor will funny/troll songs be accepted!
𝟒. please remember that i am strictly a sfw account!
part three : you pick!
𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐬 : enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, soulmates, one bed, forced proximity, pretend relationships, second chance
𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐬 : after an argument, surprising lover after being long distance, playing with hair, etc!
𝐭𝐢𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐤 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 : watch my boyfriend for me, kiss marks all over face, testing different chapstick, best brother ever, etc!
𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 :
𝟏. i will only do you pick fics for characters i write for! (you might be able to convince me to do hsr men depending on the request ;))
𝟐. you can only pick either a trope or a scenario, not both!
𝟑. i am open to more trope ideas, though be sure to have one a backup one in case i don't approve the one you request!
(ó﹏ò。) : 𝙬𝙖𝙞𝙩, 𝙞'𝙢 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙚 ! ˎˊ˗
𝗻𝗼 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀! 𝗶'𝗹𝗹 𝗴𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗰𝘀!
𝟏. i am strictly a sfw blog!
𝟐. i write for bllk, tokyorev, genshin, and heartsteel men! check here to make sure i write for a specific character!
𝟑. please keep in mind that i usually write under 1k words! this may change for part three of the event!
𝟒. i mainly write fluff but i can also write angst — specify if you care which you get!
𝟓. i am open to many things! if you want something i haven't provided, just ask!
𝟔. my ask box is ⋆.˚.𖥔˚, for all those wondering! all requests go there!
𝟕. you may request multiple times!
𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗱? 𝗸𝗮𝗹𝗼 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗮𝗻𝘀𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀, 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗮𝘀𝗸!
please enjoy the event kalo has made for everyone!
have a blast ⋆♡˚!
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The End of Ascalon
The archbishop lay meekly on the ground, his body aglow as the aether composing his form flitted away. Moments before, the scene was quite different -- he had been a towering primal, a living facade of the ancient King Thordan -- but now, Oyuun thought, he was nothing more than a dying man.
He was mumbling words… something about a millennium of prayer. Oyuun wasn't listening; she didn't care. She numbly let her grimoire fall to the ground -- she didn't need it for the spell she was about to cast.
Her right hand curled into a cruel grip, as if to receive of a weapon. Her eyes closed, recalling… recalling that day. How she was pursuing that bastard archbishop; how she turned around and saw certain doom coming her way. How Haurchefant jumped in front of it to save her life.
Her eyes opened, her brow furrowed. In her grip aether began coalescing into a long, pointed shape. Her fingers were trembling, though whether it was because of fury or exhaustion, she could not say. The archbishop looked up at her, eyes darting around her form as if searching for something.
But Oyuun did not notice. She was remembering the sound of metal and wood buckling under pressure… the splash of red that gushed out of her friend's mouth when the lance pierced his armor. She remembered hovering over him, desperately studying the wound as Alphinaud tried to mend it. She remembered realizing how to undo the lance's magicks seconds too late.
A smile may better suit a hero, but Oyuun was not going to be a hero today. A near-perfect replica of Ser Zephirin's lance had formed in her grip. She stepped towards the archbishop in a broken cadence, lance in hand. He looked up at her, terror in his eyes, and pleaded,
"Who… what are you?!"
Oyuun's only response was to raise the lance and foist it between his eyes.
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