hey sorry your boyfriend entered the public domain. yeah no exclusive intellectual property rights apply to him anymore. no, no one needs permission to use him in their published works. people are publishing books about him being in love with his best friend now. sorry. i'm so sorry.

hey sorry your boyfriend was of extraordinary value to my employers so he's- yeah hes gonna be put into stasis. no yeah he's just awaiting his assigment. yeah hes gonna be there for a while. sorry

hey sorry but we kinda stabbed your boyfriend. yeah like 23-27 times? idk. no no we loved him too, it's just his vibes were getting uhh... kinda ambitious? and like we've got that whole "no kings in rome" thing going so... oh you wanna speak at his funeral? yeah man sure i'm sure that's fine

sorry about your boyfriend. something horrible happened to you in another history, and he's been stuck in some sort of time loop for a while. so- oh you knew that already. oh, you- you're the one that put him in the time loop in the first place. ok.

hey sorry your boyfriend’s name was pulled in the october 1982 labor lottery. yeah he’s been assigned to the grestin border checkpoint. we’ll provide a class 8 dwelling in east grestin. glory to arstotzka

Hey sorry your boyfriend exploded in the kiln. No the other pieces were fine, he was the only one. Yeah no I dunno, sorry

sorry but i ate your boyfriend that was in the ice box. i hate to tell you this i know you were probably saving him for breakfast. he was delicious (and sweet) (and cold) . sorry about that

hey uh i’m really sorry but they turned your boyfriend into a marketable plush. yeah he’s eight inches tall now. um yeah his hair is made of felt and all his facial features are machine embroidered on. sorry

hey girl so uh bad news your boyfriend's on the trolley tracks. yeah he's really tied down there. no i don't think you can grab him before the trolley gets here. but there's a lever you can pull to redirect the trolley to another track! bad news about the other track

Hey sorry, it turns out your boyfriend from the woods is immortal, yeah all of his family are. Mhm no they have to skip town because a guy, yeah a guy in a yellow suit is after them. He can’t be your partner in crime anymore, yeah, sorry

Sorry your boyfriend rode the Cyclone on September 14th, 6:17 pm. Yeah no he’s hanging out with Saint Chassian Chamber Choir now

hey sorry your boyfriend met the boys. yeah they're back in town. they're demons btw and they're asking where you are but dw I told them I don't know. ur boyfriend slapped the boy's face and he's dead now sorry. yeah they're back in town to kill you I'd get away idk. sorry :/

hey um sorry but i saw your boyfriend at the devil's sacrament. i saw him dancing with the devil. yeah, i saw him sign the devil's book too. :( now he's sending his spirit forth to oof ouch biting me biting me biting me i'm sorry!!

Hey sorry your boyfriend got absolutely wrecked by me and my adventuring party. Yeah my Wizard destroyed his grenade launchers, crippled his resistance shield, and counterspelled his insane death magic shit. My girlfriend and I pummeled his shit after that raging and smiting him. Yeah my Cleric even summoned a Deva to help but it ended up being a waste of a 6th level spell slot. It honestly felt more like bullying than a boss fight I almost feel bad about it. I'd give you his severed hand but my girlfriend wanted to keep it. You can have his cunty little outfit tho the stats are terrible

yeah sorry your boyfriend is scrolling through a ship tag and forgetting that he has a public blog. yeah sorry the tag for the ship might go up in activity thanks to him. yeah he might annoy his followers that don't like the ship. yeah he's sorry but also thinks you should let him enjoy things. yeeahhhhh.

hey girl :/ I'm sorry but your boyfriend got stabbed by his best friend.... yeah he was too excited and annoying about the infamous ceaser stabbing party on tumblr so his best friend just couldn't take it anymore and brutally murdered him :// yeah sorry