.

dead poets and pets headcanons! their childhood/family pets, favourite animals, and what pets i think they would actually 'end up' with

neil perry

have you seen thomas perry? have you heard him speak? neil did not have a childhood pet. i think he really wanted a dog as a kid, but after a while of his father refusing, he would resort to asking for a fish or a hamster. his father's answer did not change absolutely adores the welton dog and always tries to sneak him treats and headpats and hugs and kisses and- he's just full of love yk he also seems like a fan of rodents? like guinea pig, hamsters and such,, he absolutely gets a dog after welton [more in todd's section]

todd anderson

the andersons bought jeffrey a cat for his fourteenth birthday it's a korat, his name is benjamin and he's a huge jerk -to everyone but todd. so it's more of todd's cat than anyone else's. todd loves cats overall, he enjoys how they just are, and finds their presence calming. once he moves out he takes benjamin with him and literally no one tries to fight him on this. also i think later in life he and neil would get a therapy dog to help todd deal with his anxiety, and neil with his trauma/depression. every once in a while one of the poets might feel down too, and todd's more than happy to let them 'borrow' the dog i feel like he would find arachnids fun, but his parents find them gross, and neil's is afrad of them, so he wouldn't ever have one

knox overstreet

idk why, but overstreets just feel like a crusty white dog named coco family. also his younger sisters have a rabbit! also i think him and charlie both used to do horseback riding as kids, as some sort of summer extracurricular?? anyways, yes, his family bought him a horse,, which is a totally standard thing to buy your child. he's not all that into horseback riding anymore and would let his siblings have the horse knox definitely loves dogs, and would have a golden retriver methinks just has that vibe

charlie dalton

his family have a bengal cat which he loves. he manhandles the shit out of that bastard and the cat doesn't really mind. the cat's name is orion, but really? it's Bastard. also his family owns horses and there's at least one that charlie dumbass-proofed (basically got it used to tolerating him as he does increasingly dangerous things around it) (idk if that's actually possible, i don't know anything about horses other than they look kinda cool) (idk why but the visual of charlie riding a horse like a skateboard cannot escape my mind i simply had to share). definitely a dog person, though he doesn't strike me as a guy that would actually have a dog? at least just on his own, he could have one with someone (a bf maybe? a bf named steven meeks even?,) he loves dogs, but having a whole creature depending solely on him is not a good idea.

gerard pitts

dog person. obviously he just seems like a guy that would enjoy going on long runs it's bc he's tall with long legs and what can make a run better? a dog he had a childhood dog that was already pretty old when he was born.. anyways! they got a him a german shorthair to celebrate him graduating middle school totally not bc he was heartbroken he probably wouldn't try and relocate the dog once he moves out just to not stress him out he might get a turtle though, he looks like a turtle guy

steven meeks

meeks' family has a miniature poodle. she's very well trained and steven deff treats her very politely. like- 'hello, would you like a treat, ma'am? of course, just do a spin first please?,, there you go, thank you :)' <- no babytalk or anything like that, he seems like a guy who just talks to animals like they're human all the time overall, but he's extra polite to her he feels like a,, calm dog person. like he enjoys their energy and likes having an excitible furry friend, but doesn't run around them or like match their general chaoticness also i feel he might get a gecko <3 just a lil' guy to sit on his shoulder while he studies/works <3

richard cameron

my lifelong hc for cameron's family is that he has some grandparents and cousins living on a farm, that he spends half of every summer with, doing typical farm things,, like caring for farm animals,, like cows,, and with that comes 'cow person' cameron headcanon he has his favourite in the herd for sure that he's just best friends with :) she has huge eyes and she listens to him rant, she's the best obviously one cannot simply own a cow as a pet, and since they're his favs he would probably opt out to not have any pets. scratch that i just thought about him having a chicken as a pet and am endlessly amused by it. he has a pet chicken

Hey new friends! If you're here because of my recent ficlet, I have a longer steddie fic on ao3 you might be interested in! Here's a snippet:

PROJECT EASY-BAKE

ONE - WEDNESDAY, MARCH 26th, 1986

Max Mayfield was up to something. She’d popped over on Sunday to ask for flour. Then again on Tuesday. Now it was Wednesday and here she was on Eddie’s front porch again.

“I need to borrow 2 cups of flour,” she said flatly, holding the same red plastic mixing bowl she’d been holding the last two times.

“Wow, no ‘Hi Eddie, you’re such a great neighbour, how are you doing’? This is the third time this week you’ve asked for flour. What the hell are you baking and why are you baking it in such high quantities? ” Eddie crossed his arms, leaning on the door frame of his trailer.

“None of your business, Edward. If you don’t have any I can just go ask Mrs Murphy down the road,” Max started to turn away, moving exaggeratedly slowly, glancing sidelong back at Eddie to see if he would stop her. Of course he was going to stop her–Mrs Murphy would trap her in her trailer for the next six hours if she went over there.

“Fine–you can have the flour. But I do think I deserve some kind of explanation about what it’s all for and why you haven’t just gone to buy your own bag of flour by now,” Eddie stepped back into the trailer, beckoning Max in. The girl turned, her braids whipping Eddie’s chest lightly as she stalked past him to the kitchen.

“Yeah, because I can just carry a whole bag of flour home from the grocery store on my skateboard,” Max said, rolling her eyes as she set the bowl down on the counter. She made quick work of locating the bag of flour in the cupboard and grabbing the measuring cup off the counter where she had left it the day before.

“Couldn’t Harrington take you? I know he chauffeurs all you freshmen around for whatever reason. I saw his car here on Monday,” Eddie was on a fishing expedition. He’d been trying all year to figure out why his little sheep were all obsessed with Steve Harrington of all people–maybe Max was his way in.

Max grimaced slightly, measuring out the first cup of flour carefully into the bowl, “Normally, yeah I could ask him. But not for this.”

“What, does he have a vendetta against the grocery store or something?” Eddie hopped up on the counter next to her.

“Get your ass off the counter, that’s not sanitary,” Max lightly shoved his legs, getting flour on his black jeans.

“If you think anything in this kitchen is sanitary , Red, you’d be incorrect. Stop changing the subject–what is all of this for? And why on god’s green Earth do you not want Harrington to know about it?” Eddie scooted closer as Max carefully measured out the second cup of flour.

She paused, considering. “If I tell you, you have to promise not to tell anyone.”

Eddie perked up, of course , he should have thought of this earlier. “Oh, so that’s it. You have a crush on Harrington. I mean, he’s a bit old for you, but I can see the appeal–”

“What? No! Ew! He’s like my weird hybrid brother-mom.” Max looked at him like he had five heads. “It’s his birthday next Tuesday and I’m trying to bake him a cake but every time I try it turns out disgusting. Sunday it was burnt and yesterday it was raw in the middle! He does a lot for us and I know no one else even knows when his birthday even is and I wanted to do something…nice, for once. If you tell anyone I said that I’ll kill you.”

“How do you know when his birthday is, then?” Eddie hopped down off the counter, leaning against it instead.

“I stole his wallet, saw his driver’s license,” Max shrugged, as if it was obvious. She dusted off her hands and closed up the bag of flour, placing it back in the cupboard.

“Wait, do you mean to tell me that Harrington’s birthday is April Fool’s Day ?” Eddie said after a moment, calculating in his head Tuesday’s date.

“Yes, and you are not allowed to tell anyone ,” Max said, scooping up her bowl of flour and pointing a finger up at him.

“What are you gonna do if I do, fight me?” Eddie scoffed outwardly, but he was a little sure that Mayfield could take him if she wanted to. She was small but scrappy.

Max rolled her eyes, “Oh Edwin, I don’t need to fight you. I know where you sleep and I own scissors. I’ll just cut your hair off in the night.” She smiled up at him sweetly.

Eddie yelped, hands instinctively going to his hair, as if by holding onto it he could prevent it from being cut.

“Now let’s go–I need adult supervision,” Max grabbed Eddie’s arm and hauled him out of the trailer. “And don’t think I forgot about your ability to ‘see the appeal’ of Steve.” She waggled her eyebrows at his stunned silence as she dragged Eddie across the road to her trailer.

Walking into the Mayfield’s trailer, it became apparent to Eddie almost immediately that Max’s mom was drinking again–there were beer bottles and cans all over the coffee table, side tables and dining table. The only surface clear of empties was the kitchen counter, which currently was covered in an assortment of baking ingredients and utensils.

“Okay, so the recipe says we need sugar, butter, eggs, cocoa, milk, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Here–” Max thrust a whisk into Eddie’s hands, “You can be my human mixer.”

“So it’s not so much ‘adult supervision’ and more ‘you don’t want to mix the batter by hand yourself’?” Eddie raised an eyebrow, but got to work whisking together the dry ingredients as Max measured and dumped them into the bowl.

“Look, if you help me with this, I can help you with your extremely sad crush on Steve.” Max continued measuring ingredients.

“I do not under any circumstances have a crush on Steve. I just want to know why all of you seem to worship him. Henderson won’t shut up about him! It’s all ‘Steve this’ and ‘Steve that’! He is far too beefy and hairy and tall and covered in tiny moles and clean and OH NO.” Eddie dropped the whisk, staring off into the middle distance in horror as he realized that he did in fact, under all circumstances, have a crush on Steve Harrington. And he had just admitted it to his child neighbour. Who was friends with Steve.

“There it is,” Max patted him on the arm. “Now get back to whisking.”

read the rest of Project Easy Bake on ao3!

They See Right Through Me

I wrote this entire thing on my phone while waiting for my stupid flight that got delayed like three hours. I promised myself I’d post it before we took off bc I haven’t posted any like, original content in so fucking long so it’s unedited but I present to you: Everyone forgets Jenna’s birthday except it’s the archer by taylor swift coded

word count: 2.7k

tws: mention of suicide, kinda graphic but no one dies

For Michael’s first birthday after the SQUIP, Jake rented out an entire retro arcade that Jeremy had found four hours away from Middleborough. They skipped school that day, took the train, and spent six hours playing games everyone but Michael hated. They were smiling the entire time.

For Jeremy’s first birthday after the SQUIP,  they all pitched in to buy him a new computer and spent the evening watching movies on his kickass macbook. 

They took Christine to New York for six days to see three different shows on broadway. Rich got a new skateboard and spent the day at the skate park receiving lessons from some professional skater Jenna had never heard of. It was all far too extravagant, courtesy of their insanely rich King and Queen (handsome Jake, pretty Chloe), but it’d become a defining characteristic of their friend group—the ‘squip squad’, as Michael had dubbed it. They threw crazy fucking birthday parties.

Jenna didn’t exactly expect the same for herself. Though it was never explicitly stated that she still wandered in the outskirts of the group, fitting in only when it was convenient or there was an extra seat in the car, it remained an unspoken fact. She wasn’t even sure they were aware of it. They didn’t think about her long enough for it to even occur to them that she had no where else to sit, that she considered most of them to be her best and only friends.

Thinking about it realistically, she’d probably get a cake. Maybe a couple gifts, if she was lucky. A balloon.

She wouldn’t admit it out loud to a soul, but there was a spark of disappointment when she got to her locker that morning to be met with math textbooks and an uneaten granola bar from the day before rather than streamers and her friends singing to her. She glanced around, a pathetic show of hope, a last-ditch effort to believe she was more than the little bits of gossip she contributed to the group. Jake was walking briskly in the other direction, his hand on Rich’s back, dragging him away from the English class they were both supposed to be going to and towards the single-stall gender neutral bathrooms on the first floor only one person was supposed to be in at a time. Christine was standing by the stairwell with Jeremy, animatedly talking about a musical she’d discovered. 

No one was looking at her. 

Jenna walked to class without a good morning from a single one of her friends. Even worse, she didn’t get a happy birthday either. 

She held out until lunch. All morning she listened aptly to every word spoken, groping and striving to find enough gossip that she’d capture the attention of the entire lunch table just long enough for someone to say, ‘by the way, isn’t it your birthday today?’

Dustin apparently slept with Kylie. Barely interesting, considering his rep, but Kylie was claiming he only got off after licking her toes, and one of Jake’s favorite jokes was pretending he had a foot fetish. That was her in. 

She sat down, already buzzing with the anticipation of all eyes on her, their attention captivated. But before she could get a word out, Jake hopped up onto the table, clapping his hands twice to capture the undivided attention of everyone within a ten foot radius. 

“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.”

Jenna was torn between the hope building in her chest, distracting and loud, as bright and sporadic as a display of fireworks, and the instinctive, all-consuming urge to forget every opinion she’d ever held just to listen to Jake Dillinger speak. Though the squip had taught the group to value themselves and not societies ideals of normal, that did nothing to dismantle the hold Jake held on the stent body. 

“As many of you are aware,” he continued, flashing his crowd a winning smile, “Our dear friend, Christine, holds the talent of a million Anne Hathaways combined, and it seems a local director has finally acknowledged the full extent of her talent and cast her as Blanche in a showing of A Streetcar Named Desire!” At the grand announcement, a round of applause flitted throughout the cafeteria. Jenna was so caught up in it she almost missed the disappointment of Jake ignoring her birthday. 

It didn’t settle until he was sitting back down. Still smiling, he said, “Pinkberry tonight as a celebration, ladies? Then drinks at my place?”

Jenna frowned. She tried to find the flicker of hope she’d kept burning all day somewhere in her chest, nestled safely between the growing admiration for her friends as they went from ruthless bullies to kind, genuine actors and actresses and nerds and the ghostly confidence she still had in herself that she fought everyday to keep even vaguely alive. She found empty darkness and the daunting realization that there was no more time for them to pull in with a surprise. She understood forgetting in the morning—knowing her friends, they’d all probably stayed up too late the night before—but this was…

They’d forgotten. They’d all forgotten. They were throwing a party for goddamn Christine Canigula, the girl so pretty and talented Jeremy was willing to let himself be mind controlled just for her affection, on Jenna’s birthday.

She wanted to cry. She wanted to stay exactly where she was seated, on the edge of the table next to Michael, and just start crying. She wanted them to see her tears and ask if she was okay and she wanted to scream their mistakes in their faces and watch the realization. She wanted their pity, even if it was faux and layered with the knowledge that they should feel bad even if they didn’t, because she needed them to look at her. To see her. To convince her that she hadn’t already died, that she wasn’t just a ghost so unwanted she’d been turned away from heaven and damned to pine after the attention of people who didn’t want her. She was prepared to wander the halls of Middleborough as the outline of a girl until it burned or rotted away.

But she rose to her feet instead, slow and unassuming, and walked away, her bag over her shoulder. She was pretty sure Michael cast a second glance over his shoulder—a split second, could he see her?—but there was the ever growing possibility that it was out of curiosity rather than concern.

That theory was proved when she walked out of school without a text. When she drove herself home in her crappy-ass car that she could barely afford and no one bothered to check if she was okay. When the group chat (that she’d notably had to ask to be let into) kept texting like nothing was wrong, like there wasn’t supposed to be candles and cakes and balloons at every corner. 

She settled on the floor next to her bed, her vision blurred by tears she wasn’t prepared to let anyone see.

She didn’t know what she was doing wrong. She was better than Chloe at least, right? She was never ruthless like Chloe was. People didn’t quiver at the sight of her, didn’t flinch when she brushed up against their arm, so why were they so willing to take Chloe to a fashion show in Paris for her birthday while Jenna sat alone in her bedroom?

She considered killing herself just so they would mourn. She considered doing it in the ugliest way possible, with blood and guts and tragedy entwined in every vein of hers that laid exposed. She considered doing it on her birthday so they’d know it was their fault. You forgot, her funeral would scream, you fucking forgot. 

But to do that would be to admit defeat; to admit that her friends, whom she admired more than anything, were bad to her. Terrible. 

She’d tell them. It was that simple. She’d tell them it was her birthday, then they’d apologize and be good to her.

She got dressed up. She wore a long summer dress, a butterfly barrette in her hair, a silver necklace—she thought she looked like a princess. 

She left without looking in the mirror long enough to question if she was attractive, if the outfit wasn’t enough to hide her inherent ugliness that surely everyone constantly saw, and showed up to pinkberry an hour before they agreed to meet. 

She wasn’t going to be the first one there, she decided. That would be too far. Too obvious. She waited in her car until Christine, Brooke, and Chloe showed up, all in Brooke’s car. She slipped in before the boys had a chance to arrive as to not appear too late with a natural smile on her face. 

Conversation was already bubbling when she sat down next to Christine, far enough from the edge that someone would be forced to sit next to her and she’d be sandwiched between two people. When the boys arrived Michael plopped down next to her, the smell of weed clinging to his clothes.

“Sup,” he said, and it took her a moment to realize that it was directed at her.

“Hi?”

She and Michael weren’t friends. She didn’t want Michael to pay attention to her. She wanted Chloe. Brooke. Jake. Rich. The clique of popular kids who supposedly weren’t popular anymore but really were.

Michael squinted at her. 

“You’re eye shadow’s glittery,” he said while Christine summarized the plot of A Street Car Named Desire for everyone else. 

Jenna nodded briefly at him before turning to Jake and opening her mouth. The plan was the same. Enter with the foot fetish story, transition into her birthday. 

“Hey, did you hear—“

“I bet English teachers fuck that play in their free time,” Jake laughed, leaning back and draping his arm over Rich’s shoulder. Christine squawked and shot something about metaphors and unnecessary crude jokes back at him. Jake accepted her criticism but turned to Rich and whispered something else that had them both giggling.

Jenna tried again.

“Jake! Did you—“

His attention was stolen by Brooke blowing bubbles into her smoothie. He laughed. Jenna tried to keep her hurt masked by anger and determination. She’s tell them. They’d feel bad. She’d be okay. 

“Jake—“

She wasn’t even sure what Jeremy said, but Jake was listening attentively, completely unaware of Jenna.

She clenched her fists into her dress.

“Dude, I don’t think he can hear you.” 

She turned back to Michael, eyes narrowed.

“No fucking shit.”

“Aye, I’m being nice here.”

“Really?” she said, eyes widened and vowels drawn out to try and emphasize just how deep her sarcasm ran. 

Michael rolled his eyes before he gaze settled on her, daring her to continue speaking. To insult him further. To say something mean enough that it wouldn’t be out of proportion for him to snap back at her.

She didn’t want him. He was a loser. Beyond a loser, beyond the social hierarchy. He resided on a scale all of his own entitled ‘Liked Because He’s Friends With Jeremy and Gives Jake Free Weed.’ Even she didn’t have to talk to him. 

But he was looking at her. Cold and uncaring, his gaze remained pinned to her face, lazily examining her expression. He could see her. 

“Dustin has a foot fetish,” she sighed. 

Michael stared at her. He didn’t seem to understand. 

She decided it was simpler to say, “It’s my birthday,” than continue her stupid attempts to get someone to remember.

Michael’s stare remained blank. Then, slowly, he blinked awake and sat up a bit straighter.

“Like, your birthday-birthday? The day you were born?”

Jenna nodded. There was a lot she wanted to say, complaints she wanted to voice, but it felt like something was clawing at her vocal chords and whispering promises of sobs and cries so pitiful they’d be forced to ignore her out of discomfort rather than gather around to provide support.

“Why…uh, why aren’t we doin’ a party thingy?”

Jenna shrugged and crossed her arms. Michael frowned.

“Whaddya want to do?”

“Anything,” Jenna breathed, quiet and pained. She had to blink rapidly to keep tears from forming. Michael nodded seriously and rose clumsily from his seat. 

“K,” he said, then stuck out his hand for her to take, “Let’s go.”

Because it was Michael standing up and not her, Jeremy paused his conversation to ask, “Where’re you going?“

“Out,” Michael snapped back like a preteen just learning what the term independence meant. Without waiting for Jenna to look up from her lap (hiding her trembling lips), he grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her from the booth.

“You’re all bitches!” he called out behind him, so confidently yet so muddled by his determination to keep himself standing upright that Jenna couldn’t help but snort out a watery laugh. 

Michael dragged her to his rundown car, paused in front of the driver’s seat, and said, “You should probably drive.”

“Me?”

“I am like, way too high to be driving.”

Jenna scrabbled for the lingering bits of the mask she upheld. She straightened her posture, turned her hesitant smile into a condescending grimace and said, “God, you’re such a fucking loser.”

Michael didn’t dignify her with a response. He stumbled over to the passenger seat, sat down, and waited. Jenna didn’t have any choice but to get into the driver’s seat.

The second she was seated, Michael said, “We’re not gonna do the mean girl shit. I deal with enough of that shit sitting with fucking Brooke and Chloe. This is escaping, Jenna. Now drive us to Shop Rite and be fucking nice about it.”

Jenna was in no place to deny him. She drove them there in tense silence, questions sitting on her tongue, so heavy she couldn’t even speak them. 

Why do they like you? Why do they treat you better than me? You’re a loser. You’re worse. Why can they see you?

Michael bought her a cake and candles. They sat on the roof of his car in the darkness, Michael’s phone pinging with constant text messages from their friends asking what the fuck was going on (Jenna thought she glimpsed a text from Chloe asking if he and Jenna were having a secret affair). Jenna had her hands clasped politely in her lap, unable to look at him. She thought she finally understood why people didn’t like her.

She couldn’t talk. Michael had told her to drop the act, to be herself, and now she couldn’t talk. Everything she tried to say was an extension of someone else. A rerun of an insult Chloe had said weeks ago, a joke that vaguely resembled something Jake had said. 

“Do ya want me to sing, or do you just wanna blow out the candles?”

Jenna blinked back tears and shrugged. 

“I suck at singing,” Michael said. Jenna almost insulted him. She kept her mouth clamped shut. 

“…so,” he continued, hesitant now, “Maybe uh, just blow them out?”

I wish they could see me, she thought as she blew out all eighteen of the candles Michael had lit. She was only turning seventeen, but it was sweeter than what anyone else had done, so she didn’t bother commenting on it. 

As if reading her mind, Michael whispered, “Sorry they forgot.” 

Jenna shrugged. 

“Do you, uh, wanna eat?”

Jenna wasn’t sure she’d be able to swallow any cake he gave her. Still, he cut her a slice with a plastic fork he’d bought and passed it to her on a paper plate with the words ‘Happy Birthday!’ printed in bright pink letters across it. She accepted. 

“So…what do you like?”

“Hm?” 

“Well I gotta get you a gift now, right? Somethin’ nice as compensation for being a total dick all day.”

Jenna liked gossiping. She liked pinkberry. She could pretend to like Shakespeare if she tried, but she had the sinking feeling that wasn’t what Michael was asking. 

The last thing she remembered genuinely wanting to be was a princess, or maybe an explorer. 

“Uh, nature, I guess?” The words tasted like acid in her mouth, so painful she began to question if they were even true. Still, because Michael was looking at her, she pushed through. She’d lie until she was buried and dead if only he’d keep looking. “I wanted to be an explorer. I really liked snakes.”

“Snakes?!” Michael screeched, “Snakes! Fuck, I’m not getting you a snake. Jesus.”

Jenna forced out a small, sympathetic chuckle.

“I’ll take you to the zoo or something. You’re going into the reptile house alone, I don’t fucking care, but we can look at the zebras and stuff together, I guess.”

In her chest, nestled between her self confidence and her flickering admiration for her ‘friends’, she thought she felt something like hope spark.

“Really?” she whispered, pathetically desperate. Michael nodded determinedly.

“Fuck yeah.”

Jenna ducked her head to hide the glowing smile on her face. 

She decided, for the sake of the unfamiliar excitement growing inside of her, jumping and leaping in her lungs as it screamed for the first time in years, that didn’t need Jake’s shallow attention or Chloe’s condescending stares, just as long as this one person—this one nice person—could see her.

Vazhang hcs please!!

akshkekwndk YAY!

okay so like we agree that these two are, like, idiots in love

like fr these bitches istg. himbo energy to the mAX even tho neither of them actually are T_T it's just their vibe

anw leo loves tinkering and messing around with his toolbelt, right? it's a pretty popular headcanon atp that leo makes jewellery for whichever s/o he's being shipped with. and you know he does that for frank (frank had a complete breakdown one day—i hc my guy with severe anxiety don't mind me—and that anxiety attack was sort of the result of all the culminated stress of maintaining the image of the perfect praetor and leader and, in his head, grandson. i think grandma zhang, no matter how much good she did to him, still gave him a bit of a i-need-to-make-her-proud issue. so yeah, after that, he just let go and got a bunch ear piercings, a nose septum ring and tattoos. more on those later. its a minor rebellion, but its enough).

as i was saying, leo LOVES making earrings and rings for him, necklaces, bracelets, anklets and whatnot. frank loves every single one of em, but he's running out of space to put them all :/

frank lets leo try on his praetor's cape once. something about an enormous cape dwarfing his lil boyfie almost made him refuse to take it back, ever. leo now randomly steals it and sleeps on frank's bed with it. it makes frank melt.

frank calls leo "'nidas" and leo calls frank "fai"

frank's tattoos: he cuts himself sometimes when the anxiety gets too much, so hazel had drawn a butterfly on his left forearm, near his legion tattoo, and told him not to kill the butterfly. he knew the pen ink would fade and the butterfly would die anyways, so he got it tattooed, permanently, so that he can remember.

he also has a snake down his spine that moves whenever he does and leo just loves that.

leo ended up wanting tattoos too, so they got a matching one. for frank, it's the words "a love that moves the sun ..." across his collarbone and for leo it's the words "... and all the other stars" across his own collarbone.

leo also got a dragon on his hip and feathers on his heart ("hope is the things with feathers"—>hope is "esperanza"—>his mother).

their first date was at a mexican cuisine frank suggested, their second at a chinese restaurant leo came up with. they both think that's hilarious for some reason

frank has a skateboard leo can ride better than he can. frank complains about it often like "why can you ride that thing better than i can?!" "i can ride lotsa things pretty well you know 😏😉" cue frank smacking him

leo stealing frank's shirts >>>>>>>>

frank loves seeing him in his clothes so that works out fine

frank's favourite flower is the orchid so leo makes it a point to buy him some every valentine's day, birthday and christmas <3

leo's is roses because he's a sucker for clichés, so frank does the same to him <33

frank also loves jades, so when leo proposes to him (in a dramatic-ass way, you know it's true), frank's ring has a jade inset in the centre.

like i said, idiots in love <333

frank ends up quitting the legion at age 21 and they move in together in a flat in new rome. they have a dog (a king charles—oh, the irony...) leo insisted they name nacho. so they did.

they also have a parrot named deejay because the damn thing actually sings with the radio and leo finds that absolutely hilarious

frank just loves seeing him laugh, and it's so infectious that he just has to laugh, too

as i said, i hc frank with severe anxiety. it's clear that leo has depression, so they talk about their struggles and try to get through them together when therapy isn't enough

they're jus always there for each other, ya kno?

the first time they fight, frank sleeps on the couch that night, but neither of them actually get any sleep because they can't stand being apart and arguing. so the next morning, they just fall into each other's arms murmuring "sorry, sorry, i love you, i love you so much" and no matter how severe the arguments after that are, they never sleep apart

i think they adopt a son somewhere along the way. piper and shel have a daughter and don't want any more kids but her (they named her tara, which was what piper's grandpa tom would've suggested naming her had they not named her piper) so they suggest they name the lil guy jason, and after much deliberation, they do

because, did they want a daily reminder of who they'd lost? but eventually, they reasoned: we can name him jason, and he will live beyond sixteen. he will live a long, full life. we will let jason live a safe, happy life this time round, because he's ours

they also adopt a girl, whom they name emily hope

these are a complete mess with no particular order, they just came to me in a rush and a jumble. enjoy alsjskdjsmks

survey #071

Have you ever had a teacher you got really close with? Oh yes, many. I was honestly pretty much always the "teacher's pet," but not in the snobby/suck-up sorta way. I was genuinely just a good student. Why did you fall for the last person romantically? This fucker never, ever gave up on me. He has always, always believed in and wanted the best for me. Can you speak in a different language conversationally; if so, which language? I can speak very basic German. I'm a lot worse than I used to be, though; back in high school, I honestly think I could've gone to Germany and survived in all basic interactions, but now I would definitely struggle. I'm not awful, though. Do you ever fear of falling asleep? Yes, because of my nightmares. What kind of cookie is your favorite? Just basic gooey chocolate chip is perfect.

What type of underwear do you prefer your preferred sex to wear? No preference for guys really, but I'm not gonna bullshit NOBODY and fully confess I am an Ass bitch with women and thongs are fuckin fire lmao. Was your hair a different color when you were a baby than it is, now? Yes; I was dirty blonde as a baby/young kid. Do you plan on carving a pumpkin anytime soon? Yes! Girt and I are gonna do this super cute and simple cat face I found. You can have a milkshake right now. What flavor do you choose? I think I'm feelin' vanilla right now. Have you ever given someone flowers? My mom. I wanna get Girt some for his birthday since I couldn't on our anniversary. Are there any lamps on in the room that you’re currently in? Yeah. The little guitar lamp I have stays on, even though it's useless 'til it gets dark. Do you have any concerts coming up? CRIES it was apparently only a rumor that Rammstein were announcing more US tour dates this month so PROBABLY NOT Do you like group work? Absolutely not. I hated it so much and operated better alone so much that teachers that knew me well would occasionally just let me work alone. Do you listen to Nirvana? Nowhere near regularly. I do have like, four songs on my iPod, though. Have your friends ever not wanted you to be with someone? Yes. Ever suffer from amnesia? Yes, after I passed out and got my concussion. At first I barely remembered anything, and now even still today I don't remember hitting the floor, something I'm honestly grateful for. I just remember getting dizzy and trying to get out of the shower to sit down. Have you ever picked out a song to listen to on a juke box? I don't think so. When’s the last time you were genuinely freaked out? Last night; there was knocking and ringing of the doorbell past like, 9 PM. Thank god it was just my sister, I hadn't had a clue she was stopping by here. Does anyone in your house own a gun? No, that wouldn't be legal with me as a resident with my mental health history. Do you assign different ringtones to certain people? No. I never even have my phone off of vibrate. Favorite way to eat a potato? (i.e. french fries, mashed potatoes…) French fries. Are there any song covers that you think are better than the original? Three absolutely worth noting: Johnny Cash's "Hurt" cover (originally Nine Inch Nails), Disturbed's version of "The Sound of Silence" (originally Simon & Garfunkel), and Bad Wolves' rendition of "Zombie" (originally The Cranberries). Have you ever cried in a movie theater? Not sobbed, but yes. Have you ever had "a day at the spa?" Yeah, with Colleen. I don't like going though and only went to chill and chat as friends. I'd never go alone. Have you ever been told off for swearing at school/work? No. Has anyone let you down recently? Eh, yeah. Where was the last place you thought about having sex, other than your bed? I have no idea, I haven't thought about going that far not in a bed in an extremely long time. Do you own a skateboard? Nope. What are the initials of the last person you kissed? DM. What is something you want but can't afford to buy? A new, good phone is a big wish right now. Do you usually eat wheat bread or white bread, or are you gluten-free? Wheat. Was anyone rude to you today? No. Which lost friend do you most wish you could be friends with again? Megan. It's weird to say when she lied so much about herself that I barely know who she really is and what was a pity party disguise. What is your town known for? Crime, honestly. Its nickname literally has "Murder" in the name, for apt reasons. Literally recently an unhinged motherfucker stabbed an old woman he didn't even know with a machete close by here. Do you think you would be happier if you had more money? That is a motherfucking solid FACT. It wouldn't magically heal my depression I'm sure and I'd still deal with sadness, but I would ABSOLUTELY be in a better fucking position. What was the last thing you purchased off of Etsy? Girt's anniversary present template, called "Vitamin Me." It was a medicine container of adorable little pills that you open to reveal a little note you write yourself. He absolutely loved it and called it the nicest thing anyone's ever gotten him. ;_; <3 Is there a Target near you? Yeah, barely like two-ish minutes away. Where did your Christmas tree come from? Uh, good question. PROBABLY Wal-Mart. Have you ever been to Costco? No, I don't think they're around here. Do/did you have to wear a uniform to your high school? Nope; we only had uniforms in middle school. HATED it with a goddamn passion. How many video games do you own? Oh a whole lot, idk. We have a big ol' case of discs. Have you ever been to a casino? If so, which one(s)? Nope. Gambling is not something I ever plan on fucking with. Do you like the name Cindy for a girl? No, especially because I associate it with Colleen's bitch of a mother. How many sets of keys do you have for your house? Uh, I'm not sure. Mom obviously has one and so do I, my sisters have one... and probably Tobey, since she's the landlord. Maybe more. What brand is your laptop or computer? It's an Acer. Do you know anyone who has Parkinson’s disease? Not that I know of. Do you use Instagram? How often do you post there? Yeah, but I barely post anything. I'm THINKING of making a personal one, but idk. What’s your favourite place to get pizza? Domino's, IF it's not an absolute garlic fest. Sometimes it's just too much. How many times have you been to the beach? Idk, a lot, honestly. We used to go like, once a year or so for dance competitions at Myrtle Beach. Have you ever had a scary encounter with a wild animal? No. What’s the most expensive restaurant you’ve ever eaten at? To just be completely realistic considering the location and cuisine, it was probably the Italian place we went to for Sara's birthday when I was up there. My picky ass didn't like anything, ha ha, EXCEPT this lil lava cake-like dessert we had with a raspberry sauce, holy fuck that shit was incredible. Who will you be spending Christmas with this year? Same people as always: my family and my sister's in-laws. I definitely hope I get to see Girt and his family around that time, too. Did you go to high school with your current best friend? I sure did, even though it was only for one year because I was a freshman and he was a senior. Who is the person you dislike the most? Colleen, my sister's husband Nick, my disowned uncle, and I go back and forth with Sara... Do you take part in paying the bills for your household? No, because I don't have a source of income. Whenever I do though, I absolutely will. What is your favourite way to eat rice? I actually really like Mexican rice with the cheese sauce they use at the restaurants I've been to. I really enjoy pork fried rice, too. Do you watch YouTube videos often? Literally every day through most of the day. How do you usually celebrate New Years? Mom and I sometimes get some drinks, but not always. We didn't this year. Have you ever seen an emu in real life, whether in captivity or the wild? I don't believe I have, actually. What’s your father’s handwriting like? It looks very much like a man wrote it, ha ha. It's kinda like, blocky and all the letters are capitalized. Did you wash your hair last time you showered? I wash my hair every time I shower. It gets greasy too quickly not to. Have you ever waxed your eyebrows? Yeah, I used to get them waxed at my hairdresser's shop. I don't anymore. Do you listen to Guns 'N Roses? Not regularly, but I like a good chunk of songs. I think I want "Sweet Child O' Mine" by them to be my father/daughter dance. Have you ever been a bridesmaid? Yes, for my older sister. I was actually supposed to be one for my half-sister Misty's wedding too, but it wasn't something we could make it to because at that time my mother was receiving chemo. Do you think you have a “black sheep” in your family and who? Oh, that is absolutely me. What is your worst relationship quality? Probably that I'm too emotional. Do you like The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air? I watched and liked it as a kid. Are you always the banker when you play Monopoly? No, because I'm very bad with math and I can even make mistakes with very basic stuff. Who do you think is the most beautiful person in the world? Hm, idk. What’s the most expensive gift you’ve ever received? Probably when Jason got me a Sager gaming laptop. They're not fucking cheap. Would you ever want to be famous? I honestly wouldn't mind being a famous photographer, really just because I don't think SUPER famous photographers dealing with paparazzi and shit even exist. It'd be a subtle kind of fame, I think, which I could probably handle. When was the last time someone physically hurt you? It was just a super minor thing, but Oakley (my sister's chocolate lab) nicked my toe yesterday when Ryder got her riled up running back and forth through the house. She's a big dog and not even full grown. Do insects freak you out? Some do, yeah, but I want to put extreme emphasis on NONE of it is justified and insects are just as welcome on this earth as humans. They are vital. Do you like kiwi fruit? I love kiwi. Do you really hate losing? I really don't care. Everyone deserves their time in the limelight and I am just fine with my turn not being right then. Do you have a moustache? No. I get some dark hairs on my upper lip that I shave, but I definitely don't have a real moustache. Do you like going to museums? Yes, I love going! Well... not so much these days because all the walking would fuckin kill me, but otherwise yeah, art and science museums are especially bomb. Would you hate working in an office? No, an in-office job is one of the very few I could probably handle... if I didn't have to answer a phone. But you need fucking experience and a college education for anything like that. Can you run fast? I can't run. I was pretty average in speed as a child, though. Did you like Thomas the Tank Engine when you were a kid? I did, actually. When was the last time you were in a taxi? Never. What’s your vice? Soda. I don't drink much of it anymore thank god, but boy am I capable of drinking WAY too much. I also crave it a lot. Do you like the color yellow? Yellow is actually one of my least-favorite colors. You’re getting a custom-made hat. What do you want it to look like? Uhhhh probably a Silent Hill 2 dog ending reference; it's a running joke ending in the series that a shiba inu named Mira is sitting at a desk pushing levers and pushing buttons and shit controlling all that happens in the town, and James (the protagonist) finds her and exclaims in Japanese, "So it was all your work!" It's amazing, ha ha. It'd kinda just be a lil joke that she's controlling what's going on up there in my head, lol. I actually DO want a tattoo of her and the quote on the back of my neck one day, being just below my head. Who is the last person to call you "sweetheart?" Probably Girt. Are your eyebrows thick/thin/or basically nonexistent? I think they're pretty average, honestly. Are there any Disney celebrities that you actually don’t mind? Off the top of my head, Hilary Duff was always a well-behaved, good person. Ya nevrer heard a bad thing about her. The old, or the new Alice in Wonderland? Oh, absolutely Burton's version. What would you like on your taco? I hate tacos. Have you ever seen The Wizard of Oz? Oh, of course! My younger sister was obsessed. I didn't like it though because the witch scared me (I had a lot of nightmares about her), as did the tornado scene. What’s your mother’s favorite movie? Oh damn, I actually don't know. Why isn’t there any mentioning of dinosaurs in the Bible? Because the Bible is deranged bullshit written before dinosaurs were proven (emphasis on "proven") to exist. Where was the last place you worked? A Food Lion deli. When was the last time you crossed state lines? Where did you go and why did you go? Lake Gaston in Virginia to celebrate my niece's birthday a couple years ago. [TMI] When was the last time you had sex/did something sexual? How was it? "Stuff" happened like... a week ago? Whenever the last time Girt was here. I'm not going into graphic detail about my sex life but it was fine. What was the last color you dyed your hair? It's currently purple. It was supposed to be a light lilac, but my hair is a pain in the fucking ass to color. It SHOULD fade towards that, though. When did you last try something new (i.e., a new food, a new activity, picked up a new hobby, etc.)? I tried Pizza Hut's pan jalapeno pizza tonight. It was pretty good. Who was the last person you know to have something big happen to them (i.e., get engaged/married, have a baby, etc.)? A family I've taken pictures for since the couple were taking engagement shots is expecting another baby girl next year! I'm immensely thankful for them since they frequently had me take pictures for them for various events (even their wedding), so they were super supportive of my dreams. Do you ever do these surveys with your SO? No. What’s the most shocking thing you’ve ever found out about someone that you know personally? My dad did drugs pretty badly before he and Mom had kids. Something you were surprised to learn about your parent’s childhood? Ummm I don't know about "childhood." My mom was disowned and excommunicated from her church for getting pregnant out of wedlock, but she was an adult. Do you store any non-food items in the fridge? No. We do have rats in the freezer though for my snake; I am against live feeding of rodents to reptiles unless they LITERALLY just won't take it dead. Have you ever destroyed another person’s belongings out of anger? Absolutely not. Which pain killer do you use? Usually Ibuprofen. Have you ever borrowed underwear from a friend? What the fuck, no. That's disgusting, I don't care how many times they were washed. Have you ever really stayed up all night to do homework? Ugh, just about. Fucking ridiculous. Do any of your relatives not have home Internet? Yep, my sister. Everyone uses data. Something you taught yourself how to do? The first thing that came to mind was to edit videos in Sony Vegas pretty all right.

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sfw spencer reid masterlist

this masterlist holds all my safe for work pieces with spencer! if you're looking for nsfw spencer fics, please go here! or if you're looking for other mgg character works, go here! this is organized by category (fluff vs angst) and then in sub categories (gen-neutral vs female vs male vs non-binary)! let me know if there's any mistakes!

cliché- reader meets spencer reid in the most cliche way, running into him in a coffee shop.

hot cocoa & cuddles (part one)(part two)- reader is freezing while they’re working on a case in alaska. spencer has some fun facts about body temperatures and conserving body heat.

im dreaming of a white christmas- Spencer is away for a work trip and might not make it home in time for Christmas, leaving the reader alone for the holidays. Until Spencer comes home with a surprise.

make you mine- Spencer wants to ask Reader out, but is too nervous. So he goes to the one person he knows can help, Reader, who is too oblivious to know that they’re the one he wants to ask out.

raspberri blossoms- spencer comes out as bisexual to his best friend.

birthday kisses and butterfly kisses- Reader has some worries about their birthday. Spencer tries to make their day special.

dirty little secret-(sub!spencer) Reader gets Spencer a super meaningful, and private, gift. All is well… Until a member of the team finds out about it.

goldilocks- spencer recounts all his first kisses

spoonful of sugar- Spencer stays home from work to take care of his partner, who’s sick with the flu

falling flurries- Reader and Spencer have a snow fight.

top chef- Spencer’s partner makes sure he’s eating well and taking care of himself.

Blurbs:

forget-me-not- Spencer plans Reader a special Valentine’s Day, only for Reader to forget that it’s Love Day

you are my destiny (part one)(part two)- spencer reid doesn’t dance. reader is determined to change that.

hurry back, pretty boy-(punk-y!spencer reid) reader owns a bar and is a little bit punk. she and spencer are in a relationship. reader learns about the BAU teams out-side of work personalities.

short skirt, high heels- Spencer has had a crush on reader since she basically started working for the BAU. It doesn’t help that reader dresses to leave a little to the imagination and is constantly flirting with him.

handsome enough to tempt me- Reader meets Spencer Reid at a well-known estate ball. The pair learn to love each other, even when they hate each other.

look at my son- (dad!spencer) spencer has a heart to heart with his newborn son while his wife sleeps.

skater boy- (dad!spencer) spencer wants to spend more time with his daughter. so she teaches him how to skateboard.

fresh baked- spencer frequents a bakery and buys a loaf of bread every visit, just to make the cute baker happy.

Demented Deaths- Spencer is a fan of a cold case/unsolved crime commentary youtube channel and he finds out someone close to him is the creator.

Spencer Through The Looking Glass-spencer ran out of contacts and has to use his glasses.

The Perfect Man- the girls of the team try to get Reader in a relationship… Little do they know she’s been dating Spencer for the last 9 months.

you, me, and this lady-summary: ❤ (spencer reid/tara lewis/fem!reader) Spencer and Reader have a serious conversation about their relationship and their future.

frog prince-Reader takes Spencer frog hunting after a day of rain.

the buttercup bakery-summary: Spencer meets the woman of his dreams at JJ and Will’s wedding, but misses the chance to get her number by just a couple of minutes.

headcanons:

spencer going to pride for the first time w/ his bi girlfriend

sunflowers, daisies, lilacs, dahlias- reader comes out as non-binary to their best friend, Spencer, after they notice he changes the pronouns he uses to talk about them and after the team misgenders them.

growing in a garden- (dad!spencer) Spencer’s 12-year-old is confused about their gender identity and goes to their dad for help and advice. Later his child has some exciting news.

(a/n: a lot of my angst isn't TOTAL angst. its just what I think is angst. a lot of this consists of hurt/comfort.)

last christmas- last christmas: reader gets proposed to on christmas night. The very next day, they find out their fiance is cheating on them. So they go spend the night with their best friend, Spencer Reid. this year: Reader gets proposed to by someone special.

kiss them, or keep them- (spencer’s pov) Spencer loses his best friend, but has a secret gift to bring them back.

week from hell- (spencer’s pov) spencer has one hell of a week after he has nightmares about the ones he loves the most, and after a close call on a case.

series:

a different type of high: (spencer reid/gender-neutral!reader)-summary ☁ Reader has a drug addiction that they can’t kick. So, they attend Narcotics Anonymous to fix that situation. After going to several meetings, they meets quiet, shy Spencer Reid. The unlikely pair become infatuated with one another, but can’t date due to their individual addictions.

golden memories-(david rossi’s daughter!reader) reader reminces on her relationship with spencer while they’re having an argument and she’s getting the silent treatment.

and they said speak now...-spencer reid is getting married (to someone who is self-absorbed and not good for spencer) and reader is in love with him. reader shows up at his wedding, uninvited, to try and win him back before it’s too late.

i would get beat to smithereens...- spencer reid is in love with his best friend and would do anything for them… including getting into a fistfight with anyone who looks at Reader the wrong way

ethan- reader has some really important news to share with spencer, but he’s away on a case. that is until really important news is shared with her.

lonely moonlight- Spencer left his partner and ends up regretting it.

broken mug- spencer’s boyfriend is having a bad day.

Not sure if you’re still taking prompts but can you maybe write something about Billy and Steve and the 5 love languages please? Thank you!

1. Giving and Receiving Gifts

Steve just stared at the box.

He had found it in his mother’s closet, obviously placed in there by a maid.

His birthday was next week, and his parents were giving him a record player.

The same one they had given him last Christmas.

Steve figures his father’s assistant picked it out. He’s had four since Christmas.

He sighed at the box. Maybe he could sell the record player, maybe he could buy himself something with the money.

He knows he’ll end up giving it to Dustin, or maybe Will.

-

There was a carton of cigarettes on the kitchen table.

Unopened Marlboro reds. Next to a plate of pancakes. Susan’s yearly peace offering.

Billy slid into the table quietly.

“Thank you, Dad.”

Neil just hummed.

2. Physical Touch

Steve sighed as he sank into the crisp sheets.

His parents’ bed was huge, far larger than two people needed.

He had sprayed his mother’s perfume on one of the pillows, curled up in their silk sheets.

If he pretended hard enough, he could imagine being held.

Someone caring for him enough to touch him, run fingers through his hair, pet down his back.

He set up one of the down feather pillows behind him, felt like someone was there.

-

Billy spat into the sink.

His tooth had chipped, but hadn’t come out completely.

His lip was split and he could feel the bruises forming on his back.

He rinsed the blood out of his mouth, cataloging dark fingerprints on his wrist.

He should head to the quarry, be alone for a little bit.

He pushed out of the bathroom, nearly colliding into Max on his way to the door.

She reached for his wrist, the one already marked by another hand.

Billy dodged out of the way, kept going to his car.

3. Acts of Service

“Look, I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t an emergency-”

“Hey, don’t sweat it. You know I never mind driving him.”

Mrs. Henderson sighed in relief.

“Thank you, Sweetheart. You’re a life saver.”

It was true though, he really didn’t mind driving Dustin around. Gave him something to do. Helping felt good, made him forget about things for a little while.

-

He had only been in Max’s room once before.

It had been to yell at her about stealing his Walkman.

It hadn’t changed since then, still just as cluttered, still as California beachy as before.

He placed the skateboard on the unmade bed.

He noticed her wheels were getting torn up on the shitty roads, installed new ones for her.

It was as close to an apology as he could get.

4. Quality time

Steve’s house was empty.

And he hated it.

No matter how loud he turned on the television, no matter how much music he played, or how many lights he turned on, it was still an empty house, with no one but a sad lonely boy rattling away inside.

-

Billy doesn’t like sitting in silence.

He guesses Susan doesn’t either, as she shakily tries to fill the dinner table with a poor anecdote from her day.

Billy smiles where he should, and eats quickly, but not too wuickly, and compliments Susan’s cooking, and only leaves the table when his father dismisses him.

He retreats to his room, listening to music to drown out whatever game Neil’s watching in the next room.

5. Words of Affirmation

“You’re not stupid.”

Billy’s brows were furrowed.

“Yeah, I am. But it’s okay though I’m-”

“No, you’re not.” He said it with an air of finality. “Your mind just works different. But you’re really smart.” Steve smiled weakly. “I mean it. You’ve got this creative brain, always thinking outside the box. You have a knack for detail other people miss. You’re smart”

It was the first time anyone ever told him that.

Fitting, as he’d had a lot of firsts with Billy already.

-

“You’re not a monster.”

Steve’s voice had an air of authority. His eyes were wide.

“Steve, I, I hurt-I killed so many-”

“You weren’t you, though. You were, were possessed. You couldn’t have stood a chance against that thing.”

“I should’ve fought it sooner.”

“It took all your energy to fight it off. And you did, in the end. You saved us all. You’re not a monster. You’re a hero.” Billy’s nose twitched. “You’re selfless, and brave, and a fucking hero.”

4. Quality Time

Steve’s house wasn’t empty.

And he loved it.

Billy seemed to take up every room, fill the space with snide remarks about the decor in Steve’s house, or laugh loudly at family portraits.

He had put music on in the living room, and turned on lights as he looked through his house.

Steve felt warm, and for once, for fucking once, he didn’t feel lonely.

-

Billy likes the quarry, although he would never say that to another human being.

It’s quiet there, and if he closes his eyes, he can pretend the water lapping at the rocky shore is the ocean, that he never left California.

But then he looked to his left, and smiled at the sight.

Steve was always pretty, but something about moonlight made him ethereal.

He was quiet, looking out over the water.

Billy liked that Steve knows when to let the moment sit, when quiet is okay.

3. Acts of Service

“Noticed your breaks were starting to whine, so I changed your break pads. Ended up doing the oil and wiper fluid, too.”

Steve stared at the car.

“You didn’t have to do all that.”

“Good for pt.” Billy’s hands were working much better, he had more articulation these days.

And rebuilding things, fixing things, it made him feel better than any talk session ever had.

It was nice seeing Billy like this, a little closer to his new self.

It made Steve’s stomach flip over.

-

“I finished unpacking your stuff while you were out applying places. I don’t know how you like things organized, so you’ll probably want to redo it I just thought-” Steve was rambling away, all nervous.

“Thanks, Stevie. I appreciate it.” Steve’s face went red.

They had moved into a two-bedroom apartment in the shitty part of town. Billy’s window opened onto a dingy parking lot, while Steve’s showed the gas station below.

“I was just finished, thought I would move your along, too.”

He tamped down the way his gut rolled, the way his heart pounded against his ribs at Steve’s slight flush.

2. Physical Touch

“Do you, uh, do you think I could sleep in here?”

Steve felt like he was going to throw up his heart, hands still shaking from his nightmare.

“‘Course.” Billy’s voice was gruff in the darkness, but he held up the side of his blanket.

Steve slipped underneath it with him.

He was still breathing too fast, stiff as a board on Billy’s bed.

“It’s okay.” And then Billy’s arm was around him, and his back was against a warm, solid chest, and it was all too easy to melt into the touch, maybe let a few tears fall.

Billy was warm, and grounding.

And Steve felt a tiny bit better.

-

Billy tossed himself down onto the couch.

It was two small for how both of them sprawled across it at once, their bodies pressed together.

Steve wiggled his way out from under Billy, leaning against his side, legs tucked up under his hips.

“Long day?”

Billy never replied.

He turned his head to look at Steve, and he was so close, his breath fanning over Billy’s cheeks, dark eyes nearly going cross eyes as they dropped down to look at his lips.

His hair was soft as Billy sank a hand into it, guiding their kiss.

It was a long time coming, the soft brush of their lips.

Steve pressed his body closer to Billy, who let out a desperate whine.

Steve’s hands were soft and warm, one cupping his cheek, one gripping his wrist.

They took shaky breaths after parting, still close enough to feel the other’s breath, neither boy wanting to break their soft little bubble.

They kissed all night.

1. Giving and Receiving Gifts

“Happy birthday, you pain in my ass.”Steve laughed as he accepted the small box from Billy.

“You’re a terror.” He leaned forward to press a kiss to Billy’s cheek.

It was Steve’s first birthday since they moved to California.

He tore open the wrapping paper, tossing the lid of the box onto their bed.

He gasped.

“Bill, this is, thank you.”

It was Billy’s necklace. Steve didn’t even realize he wasn’t wearing it.

“Wanted you to have it. Since you’re my guy, and all that.” His smile was dazzling, lazy and warm.

Steve turned around, placed his palm over the pendant as Billy clasped it for him.

“I love you.” Billy pressed a kiss to the back of his neck, right over the clasp.

“Love you too, Pretty Boy.”

-

“Uh, here.”

Steve’s cheeks were flaming as he pushed the small box into Billy’s hands.

“Happy Birthday.”

Billy just smiled up at him, taking his time with the neat wrapping.

It was a ring, a simple gold band.

“You know, it’s been eight years since we got together. And I know we can’t get married, or whatever, but I thought, we could, we could have this.”

Billy was fucking speechless.

“Sorry, it’s dumb.” Steve reached for the ring, but Billy clutched it to his chest.

“Do you have one too?”

“Yeah. Matching set.”

“Go get it.” Steve looked nervous as he re-entered their living room with a matching gold band.

Billy took it from him. He took his left hand, slowly sliding the ring on his finger.

“With this ring, I thee wed.”

Steve barked a laugh, happy and bright. He slid Billy’s ring onto his finger in the same fashion.

“With this ring, I thee wed.” Billy’s smile was hurting his cheeks.

“Now with the power invested in me, by the great state of California, and the fact that no one can tell us fuck all, I pronounce us, husband and husband. Now gimme a fuckin’ kiss!”

They both laughed into the kiss, the sun setting outside their apartment, dousing the little makeshift wedding in gold.

hi  my  loves  !  i  just  got  out  of  work  so  i’m  sry  this  is  late  &  rushed  but  tbh  that’s  pretty  on  brand  for  me  so  (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞  .  anyways  i’m  nia  ,  she  /  her  pronouns  ,  and  this  is  luca  and  he’s  a  garbage  boi  so  here  we  go  !

luca cameron was spotted in the fashion district adorning vltn combat boots , with some airpod pros on . they’re most likely listening to daywalker! by machine gun kelly . you may know them as @lewcuh or as that dylan minnette lookalike . their twenty-third birthday just passed . while living in tribeca , they’ve gained a bit of a reputation . they’re known to be vagarious but on the other hand innovative . wonder if they’ll be the next person to hit the headlines . ( cismale / he / him )

NAME :  luca  anthony  cameron

AGE :  twenty - three

DATE  OF  BIRTH:  december 13th ,  1997

ZODIAC :   sagittarius  

PLACE  OF  BIRTH / HOMETOWN :  jersey  city  ,  new  jersey

GENDER :  cismale

PRONOUNS :  he  /  him

ORIENTATION :  pansexual 

PARENTS :  elliott  cameron  &  cassandra  scott

SIBLINGS :  xavier  cameron

CAREER :  musician  (  the  neighbourhood  career  claim  )

MUSE  PARALLELS  :  steve  -  o  (  slc  punk  ) ,  stu  (  scream  )  ,  patrick  verona  (  10  things  i  hate  about  you  )  ,  richie  tozier  (  it  )  ,  cliff  pantone  (  bring  it  on )  ,  jd  (  heathers  )

BACKSTORY

luca  was  born  in  jersey  city  on  a  cold  ass  ,  snowy  december  day 

his  parents  ,  at  the  time  ,  were  thrilled  to  add  another  member  to  their  small  family  after  trying  to  get  pregnant  for  years  after  giving  birth  to  their  first  son

from  what  luca  remembers  of  the  first  ten  years  of  his  life  ,  it  was  pretty  normal  ,  pretty  happy  aside  from  his  older  brother  doing  older  brother  things  to  make  his  life  hell

he  was  in  fifth  grade  was  when  he  started  to  notice  a  change  in  his  family  --  his  dad  seemed  to  work  a  lot  ,  slept  on  the  couch  often  ,  he  could  hear  arguing  coming  from  their  room  at  all  hours  of  the  day

his  brother  ,  about  fourteen  at  the  time  ,  would  distract  him  with  video  games  and  skateboarding  lessons  because  he  was  old  enough  to  know  what  was  going  on

the  next  year  was  when  his  parents  filed  for  divorce  ,  and  of  course  at  the  time  he  didn’t  know  it  was  because  his  dad  had  been  cheating  on  his  mom  but  he  did  get  remarried  awfully  quick  so  it  didn’t  take  a  genius  to  figure  it  out

his  mom  had  family  in  new  york  so  that’s  where  she  moved  them  ,  close  enough  that  they  could  spend  their  mandatory  weekends  with  their  dad  ,  although  once  his  new  wife  got  pregnant  those  visits  dwindled  down  to  nothing

and  when  he  was  fourteen  his  mom  got  remarried  too  ,  the  same  year  his  brother  left  for  college  ,  leaving  luca  to  deal  with  them  alone

so  high  school  was  rough  for  him  .  he  was  in  detention  a  lot  ,  one  of  those  kids  that  you  just  expected  to  get  in  trouble  on  any  day  ending  in  a  y

he’s  done  it  all  --  smoked  cigarettes  behind  the  bleachers  ,  spiked  the  punch  at  dances  ,  graffitied  any  available  surface  ,  argued  with  teachers  over  the  smallest  things

he’s  generally  not  a  dick  ,  so  the  therapists  his  stepdad  sent  him  to  said  he  did  it  for  attention  and  also  probably  because  he  has  add  (  he  just  sold  whatever  they  prescribed  him  so  joke’s  on  them  )

his  stepdad  wasn’t  terrible  ,  but  obviously  not  the  paternal  type  ,  always  acting  like  luca  was  some  cat  that  he  just  had  to  make  sure  to  leave  food  out  for

but  jeez  was  he  rich  ,  some  soulless  businessman  type  that  liked  to  make  money  but  liked  to  spend  it  even  more  ,  always  flying  his  mom  out  to  tropical  vacations  and  buying  luca  whatever  new  iphone  or  playstation  just  came  out  ,  probably  just  to  keep  him  from  bitching  too  much

his  mom  ,  though  he  loves  her  to  death  and  knows  she  was  just  trying  to  give  him  the  best  possible  life  ,  was  easily  won  over  by  the  money  ;  she  loved  the  nights  spent  at  expensive  restaurants  and  hotels  ,  loved  going  to  broadway  shows  and  spending  thousands  on  a  single  shopping  trip

so  she  wasn’t  around  much  either  ,  but  luca  kept  his  mouth  shut  because  he  figured  she  deserved  it  after  dealing  with  his  dad  for  all  those  years

and  luca  figured  he’d  make  the  best  out  of  the  situation  ,  asking  his  stepdad  for  music  lessons  and  drum  sets  and  guitars  because  he  had  always  been  interested  in  learning  to  play

he  met  his  best  friends  and  bandmates  through  school  --  at  first  they  were  just  fucking  around  and  jamming  in  one  of  their  garages  ,  and  when  the  idea  of  making  a  band  came  up  he  just  went  with  it  ,  never  having  been  all  that  interested  in  academics  anyways

one  of  them  had  a  family  member  in  the  music  business  which  is  how  their  first  ep  got  made  when  luca  was  eighteen  ,  and  unexpectedly  shot  them  into  the  spotlight  when  their  song  sweater  weather  blew  up  (  the  neighbourhood  is  his  career  claim  --  lead  vocals  anyways  --  and  as  of  rn  they’ve  put  out  the  albums  i  love  you  ,  wiped  out  ,  and  the  neighbourhood  )

PERSONALITY

luca  is  ...  for  sure  a  sagittarius  askdflj

he  loves  change  ,  loves  switching  things  up  constantly  because  he  gets  bored  faster  than  the  flash  can  run  a  mile

for  that  reason  ,  he’s  kind  of  a  terrible  boyfriend  .  not  that  he’d  cheat  or  anything  ,  but  it’s  hard  to  hold  his  attention  and  keep  him  in  one  place

he  does  try  because  he’s  a  very  loyal  person  ,  like  will  for  sure  go  to  jail  for  you  if  he  loves  you  ,  but  it  does  take  a  lot  of  dedication  to  become  someone  important  to  him

he’s  a  super  fun  person  to  be  around  ,  always  up  for  anything  ,  doesn’t  stay  in  a  bad  mood  for  too  long  (  partly  because  he  has  a  shit  memory  but  oh  well  )

but  he  does  have  his  mood  swings  here  and  there  ,  you  never  rly  know  what’s  gonna  set  him  off  ,  he  could  be  laughing  one  minute  and  then  throwing  things  at  a  wall  the  next

should  probably  go  to  therapy  again  but  he’d  sooner  eat  glass

might  have  a  partying  problem  but   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  he  got  super  famous  at  eighteen  what  else  can  you  expect

probably  high  99%  of  the  time

he  likes  to  think  he’s  a  bad  boy  but  he’s  a  fucking  sweetheart  ,  11/10  cries  at  tiktoks  of  dogs

speaking  of  which  ,  he  has  an  alaskian  malamute  named  squidward

idk  what  else  to  add  here  ,  the  backstory  was  pretty  long  so  i’ll  give  y’all  a  break  <3

so  that’s  it  !  if  u  wanna  plot  (  which  i  would  luv  )  u  can  like  this  &  i’ll  come  message  u  ,  or  u  can  dm  me  here  or  on  discord  𝔡𝔯. 𝔪𝔞𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔰 𝔱𝔬𝔟𝔬𝔤𝔤𝔞𝔫#9874  .  can’t  wait  to  rp  with  all  u  cuties   ❤️

Bring them to your home for the holidays {HCs}

Includes: Oikawa, Akaashi, Noya, Terushima, Kiyoko

THIS IS WRITTEN WITH A FEMALE READER! ALSO, ALL CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP!

Author’s note: In my family, thanksgiving means the Christmas stuff is put up after breakfast, so I got this idea ab the holidays and I got v happy. Enjoy!

Warnings: None, fluffy holidays for y’all!

Oikawa

okay mans HATES the cold confirmed

like snow comes he’ll probably hiss

(HISSING AT SNOW ME HONESTLY LMAO)

(Not me seeing a few feet of snow with my sisters and going “wow look at all that cocaine”)

ANYWAY

so y’all met when both of you happened to be in Brazil and he thought you were cute

long story short you had a few dinner dates, even hung out with Hinata!!

you guys hit it off very well :)

so you guys have been together for about 2 years and you’re like ya know what

“Come to my house for the holidays :)”

not only is this man a simp but he loves the warmth so ofc he says yes!!

so while you’ve lived here all your life, only really moving out of Tampa to Miami, you did have to take this tourist him to a basic spot

but you did want to take him to some of your favorite places

after him seeing your family again, you took him to one of your favorite carnivals!

then classic gotta go to the beach I mean

why not go to the ocean!!

issue with December weather in Florida is it changes every second so today was a bit C H I L L E D

(You did have to force him to eat something other than rice tho)

Picky eater kawa confirmed

what better way to spend December 25th than Disney

I mean

Mans whole went “wow 😍” when you told him

Kiyoko

BEST WOMAN I LOVE WOMEN

ahem

you were an exchange student during her whole high school career, turning into best friends and deciding to go to college together

college came along, and with the help of a few friends, parties, and a little too much twister, you realized

you were actually lesbian.

which you know what, we support!

it’s not like you’ve never liked a boy, it just happened to be that women were more your type

oh yeah another thing

Kiyoko is the prettiest thing in your eyes.

OH ANOTHER ANOTHER THING

HAVE I MENTIONED YOU REALIZED THAT YOU’VE ACTUALLY LIKED HER SINCE YOUR 1ST YEAR IN COLLEGE

NO?

OKAY.

so what you DONT know is that Kiyoko has realized she actually feels the same

during your third year in college, she had broken up with her boyfriend of a year, Tanaka, but never told you why

Huh

i wONdEr whY

But, after living in Japan for 7 years, Christmas time is rolling around once again

And you are going home for the holidays!

usually you would go home during summer break, but this time you really wanted to spend Christmas since your older brother had your niece!

and since Kiyo didn’t have any plans you were like

“hey, do you want to come home with me?”

home girl choked on her water 😳

“H-home?”

“Yeah! I’m going back to New Orleans for the holidays.”

cue brain calming down and like sLIGHT disappointment

but

it’s you

and she loves you.

HANGING OUT WITH YOU SORRY

so you guys did presents and stuff

your niece LOVES Kiyoko btw

your dad was like “👀”

I SEE YOU YOU SEE ME MAn

been knew you were 💅AND HE SUPPORTS

so around 4 you’re like let’s go do something!!

and she says okay!!

so one movie Kiyoko really loved was “Princess and the Frog”

Funny enough there’s actually a bakery you’ve gone too growing up

so you get New Orleans’ best beignets!

Ahh, fun times

next, you’ll always hear some type of caroling anywhere you are in the city

which means?

SMALL PARTIES

DANCING

FUN TIMES

you see random groups of people smiling around 7pm, the sun already down

and you’re thinking to yourself

Hey

I want to ask her to dance.

and you do :)

YALL BUST D O W N LIKE YES MAAMS

continuing

Finally at around 10pm you take her to this one street where each place has a bunch of Christmas wonderlands lit up

hile it doesn’t really snow in New Orleans, people used fake snow!!

gotta get that spirit somehow 😗

when I say Kiyoko is a goddess I mean it

the lights bouncing off her face while she’s smiling?

*chefs kiss*

Terushima

ah yes the city that everyone thinks is a state

IM SORRY J

BUT IM NOT EHDJFJHH

So

Chicago!! ✨

Terushima HAS visited Illinois before

However, surprisingly has never been to Chicago

So you were like

I’m born here!! 🥰

Come come!!🥺

And he said

Si si!! 🤪

so y’all flew out on the 20th

while your parents don’t live here, some old friends do

and why not have them meet your amazing boyfriend!

literally all of them were shocked I mean

(Y/N) likes a boy with a tongue piercing?

wack

the amount of BONKERS

but yes you love him very much

and he loves you!!

honestly your friends already fell in love with you two being in love it’s canon

afterwards you guys went too ZooLights

HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO THROW A SNOWBALL AT YOU

“YUJI MY PANTS ARE WET”

“IM SORRY PRINCESS IT WAS JUST A GOOD TIMING-“

you threw one at his face

Not y’all fighting like little kids-

n e wayz

best way to end the 24th?

ice skating-

nope.

It’s actually buying late presents because you two actually forgot to get some people presents and Christmas is literally in like 4 hours!!

YOU COULDNT CATCH YUJI IF YOU TRIED😳

MANS WAS ZOOMIN THROUGH EVERY STORE

GRANDMA? GOT IT

UNCLE? SURE

NEPHEW? YOU DONT EVEN GOT A NEPHEW

It was mega fun tho

surprisingly y’all didn’t get kicked out

you almost did when Terushima thought it would be a good idea to ride a skateboard into the electronics section at target 🤡

but we will ignore that for tonight ❤️

Akaashi

A NOTE:

this one will be the longest one with the most detail for certain reasons! also, for akaashi’s you do have a given birthday because Dec 30th is actually my birthday and I wanted to sprinkle in some of that ❤️

alright

best for last :)

So you got to be in an exchange program during college

and that’s when you met akaashi since you guys were in the same classes!

he also showed you around and was very sweet

so you offered to get him coffee

and after a while he confessed by giving you a copy of a book you both really loved

but

you semester was ending

which means home for the holidays

luckily, you guys would only have one more semester away from eachother before you guys graduated

but you did want to spend the holidays together

so you offered for him to come to New York with you

boy got excited so fast my heart-

wOOSH FOR THIS MAN

But like Christmas in New York with your loving boyfriend of 4 years?

Sign me up

So you know that during winter it’s a hit or miss with snow

is it still freezing cold?

Yes.

But can we guarantee 3 feet of snow every December?

No.

But we can guarantee it in like March JEJHRTJ

so

one thing you told him immediately was that you guys will be watching the ball drop from the roof

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to get mugged, shoved, or vomit on my shoes, Keiji.”

Yes ma’am indeed

so you guys had a pretty (quiet?) Christmas

your family?

LOUD AS CAN BE

but

Regarding to going places

You guys chilled all day in pajamas

Like the most y’all did was go to dunkin for hot chocolate

but the days leading to New Years?

GOTTA GO GO GO

Classic tree photo yes ma’am

nut crackers AND THOSE GIANT CHRISTMAS LIGHTS AND ORNAMENTS ACROSS FROM JIMMY FALLONS STUDIO?

Y’ALL KNOW THE STREET I FORGET THE STREET LMAO

bro side note their kabobs in that one corner

best thing I’ve ever had I stg

I haven’t been to the city since last Christmas wow now I miss it

OKAY NVM SORRY

you wanted to show Keiji so many things

but

You were used to walking like 10 blocks in any shoes as fast as you can

Akaashi was not 😂

So y’all had to take breaks sometimes

get him warmed and fed ya know

give the man smoochies 🥺

id be giving him smoochies 24/7 if I could

so you better for me 😠

His favorite place was the big Macy’s no lie

the perfumes and cologne section on the 2nd floor looked SO WELL PUT TOGETHER

okay nvm scratch that

FAO Schwartz was his favorite place

he loved the trains

you bought him a train as a late present SHH NO ONE SAY NOTHIN

So the 29th you decided to take him to where you were born

Brooklyn!

it was super fun showing him where you lived before you went to college

and before your siblings moved to different parts of the city

It was lovely

But the final thing you wanted to do was December 30th

your birthday :)

and one thing you absolutely love to do is ice skating

now usually you go ice skating at the public rink like a few minutes away from Rockefeller rink

not only was it cheaper, but there was a Panera like 2 blocks away so quick food!

but

you also wanted to give Keiji the experience

so you sucked it up and paid

you guys went at around 8 and had a blast

one of the best birthdays with him honestly

but, you realized people were starting to exit the rink at around 10

“Doesn’t the rink close at midnight?”

“Huh, weird.”

but Keiji kind of starts looking around while you realize you two are the only ones on the ice

So you’re like

I guess we have to get off 😔

But this sly fox

Pulls you to the center of the rink

Now, you were never one for the cliché act

Especially since so many proposals have happened on this rink that you’ve seen

But when you saw Keiji get to one knee

It didn’t even matter that this happened to so many other people

It was happening to you.

And it’s ESPECIALLY CLICHE

THAT IT WAS ON YOUR BIRTHDAY

however

I guess you can just suck it up, cuz at least you have a ring on your finger :)

- Lex 🖤🤍

End note: Let me know if you guys would like a part 2! Also if you have any ideas for a certain character or place, put it in asks!

Drawn Out, 4th: Spray Paint

It was Rayla’s 10th birthday tomorrow, and she broke her skateboard… somehow, last week. She was lucky that was all she broke, really.

It hadn’t been a very good skateboard, to be fair. Rayla had bought it from some kid at school for 3 dollars and a juicebox, because Runaan and Ethari did not have enough trust in her self-preservation skills to get her one, a sentiment Callum did understand, but Rayla would just buy another poopy secondhand one if no one else did.

And he had a better one, his great-uncle had given him for his birthday two weeks ago, because he had offhandedly mentioned meeting Rayla at the skate park, one time.

He had never used it, nor would he, because he fell over his own feet just walking, never mind trying to balance on some wobbly thing moving on its own beneath you. And it was technically an expensive gift, except it didn’t feel right, giving her something he hadn’t gotten for her but just had lying around. It wasn’t for her, it was meant for him or… not really that either, it was some ‘that’s what kids like, right?’ kinda present from someone who didn’t know him very well.

It had some kinda generic orange graffiti on it Rayla wouldn’t like. Rayla would want her dream skateboard to look like it belonged to a badass assassin, he knew, because she had told him exactly that. This skateboard looked like it belonged to a guy named Bob or Peter, who was definitely not an assassin, but possibly an accountant riding his skateboard on the way to the store to buy milk, because according to the school books, that’s how guys named Peter spent their time.

Maybe he could change that, though? He obviously couldn’t make her a skateboard, but maybe he could make this one hers.

First, the clothes’ wire he had used to drag Ez and Bait around the living room had to go.

Ez would understand. He had claimed Rayla as his much-cooler-than-Callum big sister ages ago, had started greeting her with toddler-tackle-hugs from around the third time she had come over after school, and had never stopped.

The skate park was just around the corner, and he was allowed to go there on his own, so he did. His step-dad was working, anyway, and Ez was busy pretending Bait was a magical color-changing toad with berry-scented burps. That last part was a real feat of imagination. Nothing that grumpy little pug expelled was berry-scented or anything close.

Callum was in luck, because Crowmaster was at the skate park, and he was the nicest of all the 9th graders. He had let him and Rayla pet his little grey finch named ‘Crow’ for some reason, and shown Callum all his paint cans and told him the names of all the colors he hadn’t known.

“Crowmaster?” Callum asked, walking up to him.

Crowmaster painted skateboards with skulls and creepy dead roses and things, he knew. Really more Claudia’s thing than Rayla’s, but maybe he would let him use his paints? He didn’t think his watercolors would stick.

“You called me Crowmaster!” Crowmaster looked like he might cry.

“Uh, yeah? You said that was your name?”

“It is!” Crowmaster said eagerly. “It is.”

“You’re lucky. It’s a really cool name. I like birds and flying. My name is just Callum though. I don’t think it means anything except… Soren says it means ‘dork alert’.”

“Your name means ‘sky’, or almost, anyway. That’s pretty cool. I write poetry in Latin, that’s how I know.”

Wow, Crowmaster was so cool.

And he helped him unscrew the wheels from Rayla’s skateboard-to-be, which Callum hadn’t known you were supposed to do, and he let him use his tape and spray-paint without even taking the 2 dollars he had brought.

It was a pretty cool assassin skateboard, at the end, Callum thought. Even Crowmaster thought so, even though he thought skulls would have fit better than the lines and gradients Callum made. Assassins couldn’t just advertise that they were assassins though, that wouldn’t make any sense. It had to be subtler than skulls, for sure.

Yeah, it was nice. The more he looked at it, the more he liked it, which was good, because Rayla always looked at his drawings for a really long time.

“Is Crow named after the movie?” Oh, that was Rayla. Callum quickly jumped in front of the disassembled skateboard, the varnish still drying.

But she was petting Crow, and not paying too much attention.

“No,” Crowmaster said nervously. Rayla was a bit straightforward for his temperament, Callum thought. “After the bird. It’s a good movie though, I have the VHS. You seen it?” He looked a bit dubious, at that. Rayla was wearing one of her sparklier Sailor Moon t-shirts today, you could be forgiven for thinking she wasn’t an aspiring assassin.

She was though, just a very nice and flamboyant assassin who wouldn’t kill anyone, just be really good at it if she was so inclined. Which she was not. So no skulls, Callum was sure. Crowmaster didn’t have any sparkly paint because it didn’t really go with his aesthetic, or Callum would have used it.

“I’m not allowed to see it,” Rayla grumbled. Wow, it had to be really violent then, because as strict as Runaan was in many ways, he did not do much in the way of restricting the movies Rayla was allowed to watch. She knew more about garroting than any almost-10-year-old should, according to his step-dad. His aunt approved of her garroting knowledge, at least. “It ended Bruce Lee’s legacy,” Rayla continued. “…and I’m not even allowed to watch it, just unfair-”

She cut off, looking over at Callum, smiling very sweetly for an assassin, but normally, for a Rayla.

“You look happy,” she grinned. “Enjoying the last day we’re both 9? You know, tomorrow, I’ll leave you behind, alone in the sad, sad single digits for almost a whole year.”

…she would.

He hadn’t thought of her birthday like that.

She was already way taller than him, and wasn’t afraid to go down the halfpipe or do presentations in class and… And… people would notice how cool she was and invite her to parties and on dates and whatever 10-year-olds did and-

“Pffft, not like that, dummy!” she laughed. “Ages are dumb, like the dumb ‘17’ on the back of the cover of ‘The Crow’ and-” She cocked her head at him, smiling very sweetly for an assassin, but normally, for a Rayla. “And you’re here… right? And I’m not going anywhere, I can be really immature, Runaan says so himself.”

Yeah… yeah.

When Rayla would inevitably borrow Crowmaster’s VHS and traumatize herself and need two hours of Pingu before she could sleep… yeah, he’d be there. With her.

———

Third installment of the tumblr illustrated drabble series, Drawn Out, following Callum’s drawings for Rayla in various mediums through grades 2nd through 7th. It’s set in the rayllum 90s grade school AU verse In the Middle which you can read more of on Ao3

Surprise!

Summary: Flynn wakes up on her birthday to Julie acting strange, and suspects she might be up to something.

AKA a Flynn nolastname birthday fic for her birthday!

Flynn always woke up early on her birthday. Usually it was due to the numerous texts and calls she would get from her friends wishing her a happy birthday, but, when she went to check her phone there were no notifications, not even from Julie.

“Huh,” Flynn said, wondering if Julie was still sleeping. However, this question was quickly answered when Flynn’s phone began ringing and displayed Julie’s contact.

“Hey. Jules,” Flynn said, answering the phone.

“Hey, Flynn,” Julie responded. 

“Guess what day it is!” Flynn said to Julie, expecting her to get the hint. 

“April Fools day?” Julie asked.

“What?” Flynn asked, confused. “No. I mean, yeah it is, but that’s not what I was talking about.”

“What el- oh, right, your birthday,” Julie said. “Happy birthday!”

“Thanks,” Flynn said, half-heartedly. “Did you seriously forget?”

“Sorry,” Julie apologized. “I’ve just had a lot on my mind with the band and everything.”

“Oh,” Flynn said, disappointed. “Are we still getting frozen yogurt?” 

It was a tradition for Flynn and Julie to get frozen yogurt on both of their birthdays.

“Of course,” Julie said. “We could come to my house after, maybe hang out and order some pizza?”

“Yeah,” Flynn agreed. “That sounds fun.”

“Okay,” Julie said, and Flynn could hear the smile in her voice. 

At noon, Julie and Flynn met up outside their favorite frozen yogurt shop on Sunset Boulevard. 

“What flavor are you going to get?” Julie asked Flynn.

“Birthday cake and gummy bears, duh,” Flynn responded, stepping into the shop. 

Julie laughed. “I’ll probably just get vanilla and cookie dough.”

“Boring,” Flynn responded, bumping into Julie’s shoulder and laughing.

Julie smiled and rolled her eyes. “I never got the appeal of putting gummy bears on frozen yogurt. They get hard and gross.”

“Hey, don’t you dare insult gummy bears on frozen yogurt,” Flynn told her.

Julie scrunched her nose, and began to fill up her bowl with frozen yogurt. Flynn followed her lead and began to put frozen yogurt in her own bowl. She then went over to the toppings counter and put sprinkles and gummy bears on her frozen yogurt. 

“Gross,” Julie joked.

“You’re gross,” Flynn joked back. It wasn’t really a good comeback, but it was the best she could come up with. 

Julie laughed, and motioned for Flynn to put her frozen yogurt on the scale. They knew the drill by now, whosoever birthday it wasn’t, had to pay for their frozen yogurt. Of course, neither of them minded, it was like buying the other a birthday present, even if they had already gotten them another. 

Another tradition of theirs was to always eat outside. It didn’t matter how hot or cold it was, and if there were any tables left, they’d find a place to just sit and talk. They would finish their yogurt within minutes, but they would normally sit and talk for hours about random things like crushes and music. Luckily, they were able to find a table outside. They both sat down and began to eat their yogurt. 

“So, how are you and Luke?” Flynn asked Julie, starting the conversation.

“We’re good,” Julie responded, her eyes twinkling. “We’ve written a lot of songs together, and I think we really click.”

Flynn smiled. “That’s great. I’m happy for you, Jules.”

Julie smiled even wider than before. “What about you and Carrie? Have you told her yet?”

“That I liked her?” Flynn asked. “Hell no. I mean I doubt she even likes me back. Besides, she just broke up with Nick.”

“Flynn that was months ago,” Julie told her. “And she told us she never really liked Nick anyways, she was just trying to hide her feelings for someone else.”

“I wish she had said who,” Flynn told Julie. “That would make this so much easier.”

Julie laughed. “You’ll figure it out, and, if you do tell her, just know you have my full support.”

Flynn smiled. “I already knew that, but thanks Jules.”

“Of course,” Julie said, then checked her phone. “Are you almost done. We need to get back to my house soon.”

“Why?” Flynn asked. “Is there something going on?”

“No,” Julie said, quickly. Too quickly, she was up to something.

“Okay,” Flynn said, suspicious.

Flynn finished her frozen yogurt then walked with Julie to her house. 

“What is it?” Flynn kept pestering Julie.

“I’m not telling you,” Julie kept repeating, but Flynn kept trying to get it out of her, knowing she’d break eventually. 

“C’mon Jules, please just tell me,” Flynn pestered.

“No,” Julie said, walking faster. Flynn knew it was to try and avoid her.

“C’mon, just give me a hint,” Flynn said.

“Nope,” Julie told her. 

Flynn rolled her eyes. “Fine. Is it for my birthday?”

“Flynn-” Julie started, then replied, “maybe.”

“It so is!” Flynn said, excitedly, and gasped, “is it a surprise party?”

“N- yeah,” Julie said.

“Yes!” Flynn said, happily.

“Just try and act surprised, okay?” Julie asked. 

“Fine,” Flynn said, then got more serious. “Did you invite Carrie?”

Julie laughed. “Of course I invited Carrie.”

Flynn smiled brightly. “Thanks, Jules.”

“Of course,” Julie responded.

When they got to Julie’s house, and everyone jumped out from their hiding places and yelled “surprise,” Flynn didn’t even have to pretend to be surprised. Almost everyone she knew was there including all of Dirty Candi, Nick, the Phantoms, Willie, and even Ray and Carlos.

“Wow,” Flynn had said. “Thanks guys.”

The crowd erupted into shouts of “you’re welcome,” “no problem,” and “of course.”

“Your presents are over on the couch if you want to open them,” Julie told her.

Flynn smiled, unlike Julie who insisted on eating cake before opening presents, Flynn was quite the opposite. 

“Okay,” Flynn said, happily making her way over to the presents. She picked up the one closest to her. It was from Nick. Inside contained a pair of wireless headphones. 

“For the next time you DJ,” Nick told her.

“Thanks,” Flynn thanked him, and set the box down. She then grabbed another one. This one was signed “from Dirty Candi.” 

Flynn opened the box and found many pairs of earrings and a new shirt. Sure, it was a Dirty Candi shirt, but Flynn didn’t mind. Like Nick, she smiled and thanked them.

The next gift was from Ray and Carlos. She opened it up to find a new polaroid camera. She smiled, thanking them, as her old one had broken a few months before. 

The next gift was from Willie and Alex. They had gotten her a skateboard and a helmet. She smiled. 

“Are you finally gonna teach me to skateboard?” Flynn asked Willie.

Willie smiled. “I mean I would hope so, I got you the skateboard.”

Flynn laughed, then turned to Alex. “Thanks, both of you.”

Alex nodded. “Just make sure you wear the helmet.”

Flynn smiled. “Okay.”

The next present she opened was from Luke and Reggie. Inside she found a Sunset Curve T-shirt and a teal beanie. 

“Thanks, guys!” Flynn exclaimed, getting on the beanie. 

Luke and Reggie nodded. 

The next gift Flynn grabbed was from Julie. She opened it to reveal a Julie and the Phantoms shirt that said “manager” on the back. 

“I better be your manager,” Flynn said, and laughed. She then dug deeper into the gift bag and found a CD labeled “Flying Solo.”

“You recorded this?” Flynn asked. 

Julie nodded. “Yeah, I figured it would be a good present.”

Flynn smiled. “You were right.”

Finally, Flynn opened the last present. It was from Carrie, which she didn’t expect since Dirty Candi had already given her a gift.

“You got me a present yourself?” Flynn asked Carrie, shocked.

Carrie nodded. “Yeah. Consider it the start of an apology for everything that I did.”

Flynn nodded, and opened the gift. In it, contained two front row VIP tickets to a Paramore concert, and the card simply said “date?”

“Really?” Flynn asked, happiness and adrenaline running through her body.

Carrie nodded. “If you want to.”

“Of course I want to!” Flynn exclaimed excitedly. “It’s a date.”

“A date?” Julie asked, excitedly, looking between the two of them, then smiled. “Okay, just have her home by midnight.”

Everyone laughed at Julie’s comment, but Flynn barely noticed. She couldn’t believe that Carrie had asked her out. She was so busy thinking about what she was going to wear that she almost missed Julie ask if she wanted cake.

“Yeah,” Flynn said. “That would be great.”

Flynn smiled. This was the best birthday she had ever had.

My So Called Rise Against Life

All lyrics written and owned by Rise Against

No band, not even AFI, sings the soundtrack of the last 20 years of my life like Rise Against has. I was dragged to my first Rise Against show by Emily. Emily, the suicide girl, quite possibly the hottest girl in Corpus Christi, barely 5'1 and 98 pounds soaking wet, covered in tattoos and with Angelina Jolie's lips. To this day I cannot imagine why a girl who looked like that wanted to hang with me. I had never been to a gig at that little club called The Underground where the disenfranchised youth of Corpus Christi congregated. This was the very cusp of my punk rock midlife crisis and I went in scared to death because I'd heard concerts of this nature were violent.

At this point I was already considering the decision to become straightedge. I was curious but knew little about it. The sum of my knowledge was this: two of the guys in AFI were, and the guy at the mall was. The memory of this guy never leaves me. Like a stray dog with a tennis ball, catching a welcoming scent on the air, then chasing after a passing stranger who never looked down, I chased after him and each year I spent in that fruitless pursuit felt like seven. His friendship I would never win, but he would remain on the outskirts of my life, like the brass ring I reached for again and again only to fall on my face. I would see him that night too, but I didn't know this when Em invited me out. It was billed as a hardcore show. I had no idea what hardcore was back then, I just assumed it meant a rough crowd of millitant straightedge vegans that would have a sixth sense that I wasn't one of them and chase me out the doors. Rise Against was headlining and an equally unknown band called Avenged Sevenfold was opening. I'd never heard of either. Emily wanted me to go and I wanted to get out of the house for the night so it wasn't that hard for her to twist my arm in the matter. I met her at her apartment which was filth ridden, with drug paraphernalia everywhere, a wall size Misfits poster that took up the entire SIDE of her apartment, and electric guitars propped next to skateboards. As she slipped out of her clothes and into something slinky much to my viewing pleasure, she pointed me to her freezer with a purloined bottle of tropical Schnapps from the liquor store she was working for. Toasting in miniature tea cups I downed the bright blue liquid. I remember it so well, the frost covered bottle, cold in my hand, the electric blueness pouring into what looked like a child's tea party set up. This wasn't the last drink I would take, that would come two months later, yet I remember every detail of the experience. Suited up in skimpiness, we were off to the races. We hauled ass in Emily's SUV and she sat behind the wheel, dwarfed by it's hugeness and her smallness, joint in hand, careening down the expressway and swerving around orange construction barrels. As we exited into the worst part of town I had ever seen I must have looked uneasy. She turned to me and proudly exclaimed "Don't worry, I know this place! I used to score crack here!" We walked in and the first person I saw was the straightedge boy, who was taking money at the door. It was a good sign of things to come. It would also mean I would completely ignore Avenged Sevenfold's set in s stupid quest to get his attention long enough to make conversation. But Em was a champ, she stayed with me through the whole thing. In fact, I don't remember having the guts to say a word. She talked to him, I watched him talking to her and twenty feet away M. Shadows was screaming his sexy, tattooed, egotistical lungs out but I was utterly oblivious. From there we went to the merch booth where Em bought me an Avenged Sevenfold poster that I kept for years on my wall before finally giving it away right on the cusp of actually starting to listen to them. She also bought me a Rise Against patch that is still on my Dickies bag today though it is nothing more than a mess of black thread. We wandered over to the PETA booth, watched some gruesome videos, signed up for mail and picked up a cookbook I would later use to make one of the mall kids a vegan birthday cake. Then Emily spied someone she knew and I followed her over, still looking suspiciously through the crowd sure someone was just going to come up and punch me for no apparent reason. Still following, I watched as she struck up a conversation with this cute guy in glasses. I politely listened in as they talked about how they haven't seen each other since Warped Tour. For the life of me I can't remember what they talked about. I was distracted by a guy that looked like Davey Havok. Their conversation muffled to a drone until the guy looked at his watch and said "Oh crap!! I need to be on

stage! I'll talk to after the show!" and it was at that moment I realized Emily had been talking to Joe Principe of Rise Against. This was our cue as well though there was already too much of a crowd to get near the front. There were maybe one hundred people there and Tim held every one in the palm of his hand. I was amazed. I had never heard them before in my life so I can't tell you the set list but I knew from that time on I wanted to hear more. At the end Emily and I waited at the stage to talk to Tim. I had no idea what to say so I just shook his hand and now I wish I had held on a little longer. Emily got a shirt signed and talked to him for a while. Again I was too preoccupied with the AFI look-alikes in the crowd that I wasn't paying much attention. To this day I wonder if the dude I thought looked like Davey was actually Zacky Vengeance. I'll never know for sure. Soon enough Joe was with us again and he and Emily were engaged in conversation when he turned to me and said "Did that hurt?" I had NO idea what he was talking about, I was too overwhelmed by his very presence. I actually thought he was pointing past me to the PETA booth and I stupidly sputtered "What KFC is doing to chickens?" I swear to god when I'm miserable and in need of cheering up sometimes all it takes to make me smile is thinking "Hey, Joe laughed at my joke." The night drew to an end, Emily went out with the band, and being married, I went home. Next to singing a line with Dave Peters of Throwdown, that first night with Rise Against was the best night of the last ten years of my life. The next time I would see Rise Against they would be back in Corpus, opening for Bad Religion. This happened during what I call "The Emo Dave Era". I met Dave because of Rise Against. He was a little emo boy wearing a Rise Against shirt, skipping school at the mall. I stopped him and asked him about it and well that was it, he just kept coming around. I would end up knowing him for five years and eventually hiring him to work for me. By the second time they came to town Siren Song of The Counterculture was out and I remember bragging to Dave that if it was any other band I would have just downloaded it, but for them I would actually spend my hard earned money. I remember DRINKING in the songs, trying so hard to memorize all of the tracks before the gig hit. I remember the second Rise Against gig for many reasons. It was the first gig I went to alone at a time I was in the grip of panic attacks whenever I had to be in wide open spaces by myself. Two of my "mall daughters" met me at the gates and stayed with me the whole night. I remember that. I remember Dave hitting the merch table before me and buying me Rise Against stickers that I regarded like they were jewels and kept them in some special place until I hid them so well I hid them from myself. Dave and I and the girls were in the front row together, and sadly none of them I am in contact with now. Not only that, but Dave and one of the girls I was up front with would end up working for me and stealing over $1300 from my business during their tenure as my employees. Years from knowing this though we happily stood side by side and sang along for the whole set. What I remember most about that second gig was standing in front of Joe and when he sang "Single file like soldiers on a mission." I saluted him and he saluted back. Tim was wearing the exact same shirt he wore at the first gig but I was probably the only one to notice it. And when Tim asked "Who was here at our first gig when only 20 people showed up?" I proudly raised my hand. All the memorizing I did was pretty much for naught because I was so excited to be in the front row I damn near forgot every word to every song, but for some reason I knew every word to 1,000 Good Intentions. The first Rise Against show was in August, I can't tell you the date of the second one. I made my commitment to becoming straightedge sometime between December and January. I don't know the exact date because I was so scared about the whole

thing I kept it to myself "You're the new revolution The angst filled adolescent You fit the stereotype well..."

.All I know for sure was that I'd been edge several months by the second Rise Against gig at Concrete Street in Corpus. he second Rise Against gig also brings to mind another phantom of my past: a girl I was close to named Amanda (not the Amanda I went to Warped Tour w/, that Amanda I've always called Di because her screen name was Dionysus). This was Amanda's first night aout after being kidnapped and raped. Her parents were druggies and didn't want the cops involved so the guys who did it just got away with it and I'd see them at the mall all the time afterward and I couldn't do shit. It was her and her big sister who met me at the gates and stayed with me all night. I loved those girls. . . . Again, digressing. From First To Last opened and we spent the whole set talking about how much they looked like AFI. I ended up leaving the gig early, going to the house of one of them who still lived with his folks, ringing the doorbell and leaving a note in the mail box that said 'YOUR SON RAPES LITTLE GIRLS----just thought you should know'. It didn't really help anything but it made me feel better. During this mindlessly courageous time I was blinded by my commitment. I jumped into being edge with a fervor reserved for things like joining the Hari Krishnas or Jehovah's Witnesses. It was a complete make over of every idea I'd ever held. I didn't know a great deal but once I found it, I knew it was all I had been looking for. The only other person I actually knew who was edge was the straightedge boy, who now had become god-like in my mind. He was the first face of straightedge for me, the ideal, the standard, the one thing I felt I had to live up to. Sadly, by this time he was long gone, moving away from the mall where we worked and on to better things. This fact only drove me forward in a Holy Grail level quest to find him. When he was there I was terrified of speaking to him and then when he wasn't I kicked myself for not having the courage. I was sure that if I did make my way to him, he could impart some knowledge, some advice that would make my whole solitary experience make sense. The soundtrack of that quest was Blood to Bleed: "Steps I take in your footsteps Aren't getting me closer to what is left of the dreams of what I once claimed to know Within my bones this resonates...." Within weeks of each other three amazing things happened: Ceci, my best friend Amanda(Dionysus) and I went to Warped Tour to see AFI and in the process saw Rise Against as well. Then The Sufferer and the Witness came out, and at the same time Jadey and Ceci came to visit me in Corpus for quite possibly the most idyllic summer of my life. It was that summer we saw Rise Against for the third time. At that Warped Tour again we were in front of Joe, and again when Tim sang "Single file like soldiers on a mission... " we saluted Joe and he saluted us back and it was like a little piece of heaven fell to earth, the moment was so perfect. The set was

short because it was Warped Tour but we didn't care. We were together, we loved each other and we sang along with every song we knew. Sufferer and Witness came out in July right in time for Warped Tour and the girls coming down for a visit. I remember this so well because I had a cd of the straightedge boy's band and it seemed so important for me to play it for Jadey and Ceci. Do you remember that line in The Lost Boys: "Now you know what we are, now you know what you are." ? That was how it felt for me, this romanticized notion that my edge was not my own and it was all owing and belonged to someone else. I wanted to be able to trace it like a family tree to say, if I had not met him I would not have found out about AFI, I would not have made my committment, we would have never met, so therefore the life and friendship we have shared has all traced back to THIS. Well, they weren't all that impressed. I have a very clear memory of us being outside the Sonic Drive In and Jadey asking me "Please turn that noise off and put in something else." That something else was the The Sufferer And The Witnessand it stayed in the player for the rest of the trip. Ready To Fall was the song that defined the next year, much later, that I made my edge my own. In my journey I had looked to so many others for advice or reassurance or validation. I did this because I didn't believe in myself. I thought I was weak and sought in others what would make me strong. Sometimes I received it, like messages sent back and forth the guys in Throwdown and the near religious experience of seeing them live all the times I have, of singing a line with Dave, shaking his hand. Most of the time though my search was in vain. I remember very clearly seeking out help online. One guy told me I would never know who I was until I went to a hardcore show. This wasn't exactly bad advice, hardcore shows had the most amazing energy flowing through them and it did feel good to be surrounded by like minded people. The only thing I really learned about myself through going to hardcore shows was that if God had wanted me to hardcore dance, He would not have given me boobs. There was another guy who told me only the most insecure person would EVER wear a straightedge shirt out in public and if you were sincere about it, you'd keep it to yourself. I thought that guy was nuts. The whole POINT of being edge to me was proving I was not like the idiots around me. "With your eyes Glazed and half-smiled Explain to me the details of your God-given right You point your finger In my face but You can't remember what you did last night" I asked another guy what to do if I was tempted to drink again and he told me if I was tempted I was never really straightedge to begin with and I should just do the scene a favor and kill myself already. Then there were the kids that thought I was just the bees knees and were coming to ME for advice. I had no idea what to tell these kids, but I wasn't about to tell them not to wear sXe gear or kill themselves. Because of my own search for answers I refused to turn any kid away. One day they were telling me I was their hero and begging for advice, the next they were telling me I was out of my mind and to get lost. It took a good four years before I learned not to believe them in either case. "This could be my great awakening But how would I know when it's all noise to me? Are these words falling on deaf ears?" Right in the middle of this I had the good fortune to meet a guy named Chris X from Philly. He neither worshipped nor ignored me. He was simply THERE. I have the most vivid memory of this one morning. I had the same dream about the straightedge boy only this time I stepped out and stopped him and asked him if the hormones levels in milk made people more aggressive the way steroids did and asked if I should stop drinking it. Why this popped into my head I will never know. As usual the alarm rang before the blurry form opened his mouth and imparted wisdom. I woke up at 5 am and suddenly HAD to know

the answer to the question. It happened that Chris X was up too. I contacted him and he took the time out of his morning to discuss this with me completely out of the blue. I don't know why this sticks out in my memory but it does: Him being up at five am and taking an hour out of his morning to answer some moronic question from a girl he didn't know and being so nice about it. He is still edge, we are still friends and he is still there when I need him. He is the exception to the rule. Friends fell away and I remained steadfast, yet alone. Slowly though there came the time when I realized I needed to look no further than in the mirror. It wasn't like this was a new thing. I was told this many times and yet I never believed it. Right about this time Rise Against released Ready To Fall: "But here in this moment like the eye of the storm It all came clear to me I found a shoulder to lean on An infallible reason to live all by itself I took one last look from the heights that I once loved And then I ran like hell" The heights I once loved were ego driven, the compulsion to wear a straightedge shirt every day and X's for every gig and dare anyone to tell me otherwise. It was that romanticized notion of my edge,--that it hadn't been mine and all I was, was owed to someone else. It was as if I believed someone had physically stood between me and a fridge full of alcohol that first year and kept me from it. Or that someone had been there to comfort me when my husband was drunk or in a bad mood and was calling me names or throwing me around because I dared come home with a book of Marxist writing or simply did not shut up and go along or renounce my beliefs. I healed myself, I comforted myself and I did almost all of it completely alone. It was slow in dawning but it finally came to me that I was the only one I had to inspire or impress, and my own approval was all I needed. This revelation was scored by every track on Sufferer and Witness. The fourth time I saw Rise Against, I met Ceci in Austin to see them at Stubb's. Stubb's BBQ is a grand place to see any band because if you get there early enough, you can have lunch on the balcony while watching the band's sound check. We found this out the first time we went there, seeing The Rollins Band open up for X. Going to the Rise Against show I told myself "It's not big deal, I've seen them three times before, I'm just going to kick back and eat and enjoy the sound check" but as soon as Tim and Joe took the stage I could barely consume a thing I was so overwhelmed. As we waited in line after lunch for the doors to reopen, I met Ceci's brother Jordan who is, wildly enough, still my friend. Jordan. He hovers on the edges of my life, always there with a kind word whether I actually deserved it or not. He is the only good thing to come out of my friendship with Ceci. Evergreen Terrace opened that show and we were right in front of the guy in the Straightedge Soldier tshirt and that and a brilliant cover of "Mad World" was all I remembered of their set. Circa Survive came on next and Ceci and I took turns booing them and flipping them off. Not that they were necessarily bad, but we were in no mood to entertain the mopey emo set at that point. Soon we were all piled together up front, again in front of Joe. I didn't get to salute him at that gig. Ceci's arms were too tightly around me. Ceci, her girlfriend Grace, Jordan and my husband were tangled in a sea of arms, so tightly that I wasn't sure of whose hand I was holding most of the night. Though by that time I was perfectly comfortable in my commitment, Blood to Bleed still only reminded me of one person and Ceci knew this. I felt she understood me then, I felt she was one of the very few who knew me best. Beside me was my husband, but in my heart was a dream of someone else, of someone who shared my commitment and my ideals, a dream of an idea more than a person, the perfect guy/relationship/life I would never have. Two months later I would find out my husband was seeing a girl from work

that had got him hooked on heroin. Two months later he would come to where I worked and attack me in front of multiple witnesses and when called, the police would do nothing. Two months later I would sit sobbing in the back of a police car because I was too afraid to go into my own apartment and get my things. When responding to my call the enormous officer would glare down at me and say "Why are you afraid to walk in your own home? Are you on drugs or are you just retarded?" Instead of accompanying me inside to get my things they would search me for drugs. Two months later I would realize why Henry Rollins hated cops so much. Two months later. after ten years together, I would leave my husband. I did not know any of this then. All I knew was that in that instant my heart was bleeding inside of me for want of some friendship I would never have, the one thing I believed would make my life complete. It was that friendship, that idea of a person, of perfection, of everything I wanted myself and my life to be, that seemed like the holy grail of the second part of my life. Looking back, maybe it held value only because it was unobtainable. I had not yet learned to find it in myself so I sought it so furiously in a stranger. So, with the ridiculously angelic vision of the first straightedge boy I ever met in my head, and my unfaithful husband beside me, in that crowd at Stubb's, Rise Against tore into Blood To Bleed. It was our first time to hear it live together as they had not played it at Warped Tour. Ceci looked down at me, wrapped her arms around me and held me tight because she knew exactly who I was thinking of and why. As she held on to me with one hand and ran a hand through my hair, we both screamed out those lyrics that had haunted me and driven me on for years. "This place rings with echos of lives once lived, but now are lost Times spent wondering about tomorrow I don't care if we lose it all tonight Up in flames, burning bright.... Within my bones this resonates Boiling blood will circulate Could you tell me again what you did this for?" And just like I was blind to what was about to erupt with my husband I was just as blind to time bomb ticking inside of Ceci that would turn her into a complete stranger the next time we met, at the very same place it would turn out. Had I known that this was the last time she would hold my hand and sing with me and look down on me with love and empathy in her eyes, I would not have wasted my sorrow in grieving for a friendship that never was and instead would have known to grieve for the real friendship I was losing. I should have grieved for hers, but in retrospect, it was no more real than the idea of the one I chased after so fruitlessly. "I don't love you anymore is all I remember you telling me never have I felt so cold But I've no more blood to bleed Cuz my heart has been draining into the sea...." And the strange footnote to that day, that time, that moment of hope and loss and all that was to come is this: Even though his friendship I never actually earned, in his status of a wise, polite stranger, that straightedge boy I never really knew was far more civil than Ceci. His responses, however short they were, however long it took to get them, were genuine. It is such a small thing, his honesty, yet it is more than I can say for ninety percent of the people I've known in the last several years. Another song we sang together that night was Prayer of the Refugee. I had no idea then but that song was about to describe my life. "We are the angry and desperate The hungry and the cold We are the ones who kept quiet and always did what we were told But we've been sweating while you slept so calm in the safety of your homes We've been pulling at the nails that hold up everything you own."

The split with my husband was brutal. First I had to deal with police that didn't care, who told me at one point "Well, if he tries to kill you, call us back, otherwise there's nothing we can do. He's your husband and he has the same right to live here as you do." Thanks to the police not doing anything, I was thrown out of the apartment I had paid for for ten years. The battered women's shelter was full and I would have found myself homeless had it not been for my friend Lilo. Suddenly I was having to start from scratch and then, upon finding a place, having to pack up ten years worth of my life and move it all by myself. "I hit the ground and I'm still running but I need a place to stay tonight I swear I'll be gone in the morning I just need some place warm to close my eyes." Every day I worked until the afternoon, went home and packed until 2 am, fell asleep until 5 am and then got up and did it all again. Then once I was packed I had to move it all. I can't remember why I didn't ask for help but I moved it all alone except for the bed, entertainment center and tv. "The drones all slave away They're working overtime They serve a faceless queen They never question why Disciples of a god That neither lives nor breathes But we've got bills to pay Yeah we've got mouths to feed I won't go back..." This was such a strange time. There was no way to hide what was going on: my husband came to where I worked and jumped me in front of everyone there, I had to tell my boss "My husband kicked me out and I'm homeless at the moment, could I possibly get my check a day or two early to put a deposit down on an apartment?" and I had to own up to the fact that I was straightedge and my husband was a heroin addict. "We're broken but still breathing We are wounded but we are healing We pick up right where we left off Breathe on the ashes that remain So that these coals may become fire To guide our way.." This made my life suddenly seem a really bad B movie. There was nothing to do but go on. I would have asked myself "What would that straightedge guy do in this situation?" if I'd had any idea. Instead I asked "What would Dave Peters of Throwdown do?" and of course the obvious answer was "punch something". As much as I wanted to, I couldn't do that. However, I knew for sure what he wouldn't do and that was curl up in a ball and cry. So I didn't do that either. It was a such horrible time and yet when I look back all I remember is my own strength and the exhilaration I felt when I finally left. "So give me the drug Keep me alive Give me what's left of my life Don't let me go... Pull this plug, let me breathe On my own, I'm finally free..."

Lilo and Di swore I looked great, like I had suddenly gotten 10 years younger. They said I was glowing, but unless I had come in contact with radium I certainly didn't see how. I remember thinking "Well hell, maybe the Socialists were right. Maybe 16 hour days are the way to salvation." "Wake me up inside Tell me there's a reason To take another step To get up off my knees and, Follow this path of most resistance. And where ever it takes us, Whatever it faces and wherever it leads" As I came into my own power, the straightedge boy who had loomed so god-like over the first years of my commitment shrank back down to human size. Deep down I still hoped that if he was to know of all I had gone through he would be a little proud of me for surviving with my integrity intact. But if he didn't, well that was okay too. Survive I did, survive I continue to. "Somewhere between happy, and total fucking wreck Feet sometimes on solid ground, sometimes at the edge To spend your waking moments, simply killing time Is to give up on your hopes and dreams, to give up on your... Life for you, has been less than kind So take a number, stand in line We've all been sorry, we've all been hurt But how we survive, is what makes us who we are" When I had my own place and my own life again, to celebrate I bought myself a Christmas present: a tattoo of a sparrow carrying brass knuckles in her beak. It reminded me of this lyric that had been echoing in my head the whole time: "And if strength was born from heartbreak Then mountains I could move If walls could speak I pray that they would tell me what to do." I enjoyed more than six months of solitude in my cozy little apartment on Airline. I filled my weekends with walks on the beach, solitary shopping excursions for meatless dinners, and nights were spent at the House of Rock and the Underground watching bands, enjoying the freedom of staying out without getting yelled at or called names. I spent Christmas alone on Lilo's floor stuffing myself with processed cheeseballs and watching movies. It was my first UnChristmas. The Jehovah's Witnesses would have been proud! "Warm yourself by the fire, son, And the morning will come soon. I’ll tell you stories of a better time, In a place that we once knew. Before we packed our bags And left all this behind us in the dust, We had a place that we could call home, And a life no one could touch."

But I am flawed and cowed and crippled by the Christian concept of forgiveness. And by the time I would be seeing Rise Against again, my husband would be back by my side. In West Texas his mom had ran him through the MHMR system, let them start him on 7 different drugs, ---including three different tranquilizers and pills for hallucinations and seizures, which he never once had,--- used him to get on welfare, disability, and Medicare. Once he's served the purpose, she called a friend in the sheriff's department and had him pulled from her house, drugged out of his mind on meds at the time, and stuck on a bus to Corpus Christi. The Glasscock County Sherriff's Department called me at work to TELL me "Your husband is on a bus to Corpus, he'll be there at two am. He's your responsibility now." On the bus, because of his state of stupor, he was robbed of everything but his clothes and as much as I wanted to just shove him into the closest homeless shelter, I couldn't. Had it been me, as unlikely as that would be, I would want someone to have compassion. "We are the children you reject and disregard These aching cries come from the bottom of our hearts You can't disown us now, we are your own flesh and blood And we don't disappear just because your eyes are shut" I took him in. At first it was easy. Thanks to the drugs he was sleeping 18 hours a day. Finally I started to investigate what they had him on, what he could do without and how to get him back to normal. I'm not sure how I did it, but I weened him off of every drug he was on. At first it was out of necessity since I was making too much money for him to stay on state sponsored help and he'd have run out eventually. Looking back though, had he sustained that amount of drug intake for long he would have probably died. So he was back for good and conversely Ceci and Jadey and nearly every other friend I had at the time would have turned their backs on me and flocked to other, cooler individuals. All those kids that convinced me they would have killed themselves, starved themselves, cut themselves to shreds, OD'ed, etc had they not met me, who all imposed their problems and lives on mine for five years or more and took up every spare moment of my time and every inch of my heart all turned 18 at once. In turning 18 they realized they knew it all and I was no longer worth their time. "And if you think your words will ever make a difference Think again and carry on..." My husband and I are still together, but all those friends are long gone. I wish I could say he gave up all his demons, but he didn't. He simply traded the big ones for a myriad of lesser evils. He will never be straightedge. And though he claims to be proud of me, to this day he is convinced, utterly falsely, I am hiding some secret affair with the straightedge boy from years ago. I sat him down one day and asked "Do you get that we are straightedge? Do you get that in being straightedge we could not possibly cheat on our significant others and remain straightedge? Do you get that no matter how much he influenced me I barely knew him and he barely gave me the time of day? Do you get that what you are accusing me of is utterly impossible?”

Despite his insistence on this, the idea doesn't bother him enough for him to give up his own addictions and become edge himself. He no longer asks me to change and he is no longer violent, thank god. I no longer ask him to change, though I pray every day he will. We have been together for twenty years now and I have never been with anyone else. This doesn't keep me from dreaming of some nice sXe man who shares my ideals. But I think of it much like I imagine racing on the autobahn, knowing it will never actually happen and knowing I’d never do it even if I could. "We live on front porches and swing life away We get by just fine here on minimum wage If love is a labor I'll slave til the end..." Things in my life settled down for a bit as we prepared to see the boys again at Stubb's BBQ. Through myspace I found my friend Linda that I had not spoken to in fifteen years. As we sat on the balcony at Stubb's I kept one eye on the stage and the other on the door waiting to see her again. When she walked through the doors it was like the last fifteen years never even happened and instantly we picked up right where we left off and again were tearing through Austin with her at the wheel like we had so many times in the past. Because of this joyful reunion I was not first in line when the doors opened, I was buying rainbow necklaces in the gay shops in town and snickering over whether the guy behind the counter was flirting with my husband or not. - That was a strange memory for me, being in the very back of the audience for once, singing alone as Aaron sat on a rock and read a Robert Jordan novel. I was happy to be there, the music was incredible, but the feeling was all wrong. I was isolated and alone, in the back row with my fist raised and Aaron tugging at my arm every other song asking "What song is this? Do I know this one?". I wondered if Ceci was there in the front row, holding on to someone else and convincing them she would have killed herself if they hadn't come into her life. I imagined others in the front row, in our place, saluting Joe, singing our songs while I was the interloper that did not belong anymore. We walked out of the sold out show before the encore, a long drive home facing us. Aaron never lets me stay for the encores. He always wants to hit the road. As we walked to the car, with Worth Dying For wafting through the air above us, I blew a kiss to the wind and told Ceci goodbye. "Feel me rise in the strength I've found inside the warm embracing air Like a glacier melting watch me dissipate I searched for love in an empty world but all I found was hate" It was the lyrics of Rise Against that echoed in my head when I sat down to read the words of Marx and Lenin for the first time as a whole other world opened up for me. It was Rise Against that drove me on as I worked sixty hour weeks. "We're losing daylight but I can't work any faster Under the veil of dust we go on..." Their lyrics saw me through every major event of the last several years of my life. Appeal to Reason was released in the Fall of 2008 and though the year found me miserably poor and unemployed, I still bought it the day it came out. It was on my mp3 player and as I sat in the welfare office applying for food stamps I would hear the lyrics "Despite these petty fortunes we still can't afford a life...." for the first time and I would pause a moment just for the whole zeitgeist effect of it. For Christmas of 2008 I received an email from Ceci after a year and a half of ignoring my every attempt at contacting her. I had tried everything, even terribly childish measures to get some kind of reaction but every letter---first polite, then angry, then groveling-- every call, email, and package was met with silence. A year and a half passed and then I got the email saying "I got the new Rise Against and it made me realize how much I loved and missed you and loved AFI and I want to be friends again. I know you can't forgive me but can we be friends again? There's this song on that new Rise Against that

reminds me of you." True to the bond we had once held there was certainly a song on the new Rise Against that reminded me of us too: "Identities assume us as nine and five add up Synchronizing watches To the seconds that we lost I looked up and saw you I know that you saw me We froze but for a moment In empathy I brought down the sky for you but all you did was shrug" This was exactly what happened the last time we saw each other when she turned up her nose and pretended not to know who I was, just a week after sending me a letter saying how much she loved me. This led to the year plus of her not speaking to and ignoring all attempts at contact I made, even the immature ones. "And if you see me please just walk on by Walk on by Forget my name and I'll forget it too Failed attempts at living simple lives Simple lives Always keep me coming back to you." But too much time had passed and although that Christian weakness crippled me so with my husband, for once I stood strong and had no trouble in keeping the door to my heart shut. I told her not to contact me again. "I count the times that I've been sorry Now my compassion slowly drowns If there's a time these walls could guard you Then let that time be right now."

That doesn't mean that my mind does not still light to her like a bee to a flower, the years we were friends, that feeling of love and camaraderie and the bond I imagined we had. The last three Rise Against albums play the soundtrack of our friendship whenever I turn them on. When I play Appeal to Reason I wonder if this song reminds her of me:

"It kills me not to know this but I've all but just forgotten what the color of her eyes were and her scars or how she got them" If I close my eyes I am there again in that Port Aransas condo, the night we met face to face after talking online for so long. We are huddled together in the bedroom sharing the earphones of a cd player listening to Placebo's Sleeping With Ghosts. I am pulling down the zipper of my boot and showing her three freshly razored X's cut into my ankle, the blood still stuck to a wad of tissue pressed between my sock and skin. She is crying and wrapping her arms around me and telling me she understands everything and that someday she will show me her scars too. "I'll show you mine If you'll show me yours first Let's compare scars I'll tell you whose is worse Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words..." She never did show me her scars. I wonder now if she even had any. There are lots of songs that transport me back then when she was my world. But now I know nothing about her nor anyone else I knew then was real and I wonder if that song ever reminds her of me and the way she led me to believe I was her lifeline, right up until the moment she cut me off and forgot me like a favorite toy after adolescence destroys the need for such playthings. "As the telling signs of age rain down a single tear is dropping through the valleys of an aging face that this world has forgotten ..." This is the music that accompanied my feet hitting the pavement of park sidewalks and treadmills, it is the melodies that buoyed me through endless work weeks and settled into the recesses of my heart in times of quiet contemplation. As I read words written years ago by writers we were never allowed to study in school, it is the soundtrack that played in my mind when those concepts began to make sense. When I read Ten Days that Shook the World by John Reed, what I was hearing in my head was

"but these ghosts come alive like water and wine walk through these streets singing songs and carrying signs, to them these streets belong.." As I struggled to understand the Communist Manifesto I was thinking to myself: "Unknowing, we lie and wait for the rain To wash away what they have made Face down in the dirt with your foot on my back In the distance I hear thunder crack C'mon Stand up! This system of power and privilege is about to come to an end Here come the clouds The first drop is falling down" I look back at many things and laugh. I remember when I was first looking for straightedge shirts I came upon one that said SUPPORT LEFTIST HARDCORE. I had no earthly idea what it meant and was way too scared to ask anyone. Now I can quote Trotsky. When I first turned edge I stopped eating meat for several months until my husband found out and started calling me a Communist. At the time it seemed like the worst thing in the world to be called. He still calls me a Communist but now with laughable results. I'll cock my head, say something to him in Russian, he'll mumble under his breath 'Yeah you only say that because you've had sex with the entire Communist party!", I'll roll my eyes and we go back to our common denominators of movie quotes, comic books, and making fun of people. I always loved the way the Russian alphabet looked and shortly after we were married I got a tramp stamp with his initials in Russian. He now claims it actually means "Welcome aboard, Comrade." I just laugh and we kid each other and life goes on. In the great Holy Grail of a search for wisdom that I thought could only come from the first straightedge boy I knew, I had one great fear: what if I found him again and he was no longer edge? I was terrified of this, sure that if he fell I would too, that if that touchstone was gone, all would be lost. This no longer worries me. I would be sad if it happened, but it would not affect my journey nor cause me to stumble because I have found my own way. It was hard way full of work, trial and error and pure blind luck. Maybe it would have been easier if things had gone differently and yet it is all mine and no one else's.

I have now seen Rise Against eight times each with its own small dramas, like when I was working for Job Corps, worked an 18 hour day, literally passed out in my car from low blood sugar and exhaustion—luckily before I had started the engine. I somehow made it home, downed two peanut butter sandwiches and went to the show where I had no energy to dance, but just stood there and sang.

The last show was the best in years for me. I was in the second row behind a little boy and his mom. His mom was my age and it was her son’s first concert. He was there to see NOFX. They put on an incredible show and I did my best to keep the crowd off the kid. As a reward, the mother gave me their spot and they went to the back when Rise Against came on. I had not been in the front row since that show with Ceci. I felt like I was twenty again. Rise Against is the music that scores ALL of this in my memory. It is the sound of hope and loss, of new directions and ideas, of the brass ring becoming just another small cog in the great, silent machinations of my soul. It is the music of discovering that the strength of the world lies inside my own heart. It is the sound of me walking away from what I loved, it is the joyous noise of friends you're certain is lost forever coming back to you. This is my so-called Rise Against life

ziggy strutting up to me like this gif as i hold up a crucifix n say begone begone vile beast BEGONE from my vicinity i will NOT buy u a happy meal wretched little boy...... some live action rp to start this off..... and SCENE. takes my bow. his pinterest is here n his playlist is here.

* dylan minnette, cis male + he/him  | you know ziggy benson, right? they’re twenty-four, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, all of his life? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to hand crushed by a mallet by 100 gecs like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole glitching televisions impaled by remotes, nonchalantly texting the babes as a stove fire ravages your kitchen & cartoons turned up so loud it fries your eardrums thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is november 24th, so they’re a sagittarius, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt she/her  )

HISTORY;

from the second ziggy ws born he didnt stop screaming. within the first hours of his life he gave his father an ear splitting headache tht prompted him to say “that uncooked chicken’s fucking demonic” n joke abt popping “it” in the oven to roast. when this understandably received disgusted glances frm the nursing staff he ws all like “jeez alright alright i’m kiddin i’m kiddin can’t a guy have a joke around here?” n i feel like that sets up their dynamic so nice n sweetly <3 (sarcasm) (lips pursed)

frm day one he ws just honestly a rly hyperactive child. when he laughed he’d shriek it out at the absolute top of his lungs bc he’d just get this huge giddy surge of energy all the way to the very tips of his toes n it’d hit him like a shock from a fork in a plug socket. their parenting style ws rly just lazy tbh.... they didn’t have much time for disciplining him. ziggy’s mum wld halfheartedly be like “ziggy quiet now....” n then go bk to nuking whatever vegetables she’d defrosted until they tasted like dinosaur bones..... this wld not make any difference in ziggy’s behaviour

his father rly just took the stance that it ws ziggy’s mum’s job to discipline him or raise him in general which is. 🔪 please enter the 20th century sir.... get ur noggin sorted..... needless to say he wsn’t much involved in ziggy’s life n honestly generally jst didn’t like him. ziggy was a responsibility he didn’t want (accidental prregnancy) n in his literal words once said (blatantly while ziggy ws watching cartoons on the sofa) tht ziggy just “harshes my fucking vibe a lil bit”. 

he wound up leaving when ziggy was six ish.... ziggy watched thru a crack in the blinds as his mum tried to grab at his jacket to make him stay as he lugged out his suitcase..... she even tried to physically cling onto him so he cldn’t get in his ride bt the door wound up slamming n she sat on her knees watching the lights pull out the drive n even long after they were gone. ziggy didn’t rly kno what to do abt this (emotions hd never been smthn he particularly understood, his own or how to handle other people’s) so after watching her fr 5 minutes he went out n gently shook her shoulder n was like. mom come inside u look weird out here. FKGHSFHGSFHKGFHKSGSFGHK. this was him trying to show love <3

ziggy’s mum is like.... rly relationship dependent. she gets all her self worth n validation frm whtever man she’s dating.... so she went on this like.... wild rampage of jst. dating a very large string of men. they ranged frm dreadfully boring to downright awful n were always below her standards. ziggy quite literally hated. all of them. every last one. even one that tried to b nice to him by offering to help him do his math homework when he ws 13 (bc ziggy was struggling a lot w this) n in response ziggy loudly barked until the man gt scared n stumbled backwards into a dining chair on his way out of the room. KGHFHKSJHFJGSHKFG

while him n his mum hv a kind of strained situation (there’s a great deal of resentment from her end n kind of. blaming him fr “driving his father away” n it’s never spoken abt bt it’s very much Present in their relationship n honestly ziggy kind of resents her too fr bringing some of the men into their lives tht she did) there is. love there...... sometimes she’ll like. reach out to cup the back of his head n he’ll duck his head away n be like wtf are u doing checking me for lice? n she’ll jst smile like :)...... knowing that’s how he loves. KHSFGKJGHKSFGFHKGSHF. ugh we love men who know how to process their emotions yesssss king give us nothing <3

(abuse n violence tw) idk i won’t go into it too much bt even tho ziggy’s constantly like 🙄 when his mum shows him affection he wld quite literally. kill fr her n almost did one time.......... narrowly avoided getting charged w assault when one of her bfs was drunk n evil n he went into protective mode.... idk he. has gone thru a lot n seen a lot n so has his mum. they look after each other the best they kno how despite the negatives in their relationship.... it’s complex <3

literally got in trouble so. often. at school. he ws always hyperactive (undiagnosed adhd n also probably not helped by the fact he ws jst allowed to eat sm junk food w 459729457952 sugar percentage all hours of the day) bt when his dad left n like. dealing w acting out so severely at home where his mum’s bfs were concerned it rly escalated..... i jst think he ws like. literally a terror. probably got suspended so many times. maybe even was permanently expelled before he cld get his diploma honestly. set off a firework in school hallway. smthn absolutely reckless n stupid.

hs hd a bunch of jobs mostly in the service industry...... usually ends up getting fired.... worked at mcdonald’s fr a while n then one day he went in rly high n ate three cheeseburgers in front of a weeping child who hd ordered one.... promptly gt fired bt he ws like yo fuck this place i’m quitting n threw off his apron n was like who’s with me??? who’s joining the union??????? to the rest of the staff n they were all mostly like >_> <_< before security approached to forcibly remove him n he grabbed a cookie n crammed it into his mouth in rebellion mid frantic n frankly possessed escape.....

in terms of wht’s going on to this day w his living situation i honestly think he still lives w his mum. i can just see this. KHGFSKGHSFGKSFGH. in like. a ramshackle bungalow in delphinus heights.... having said tht she probably isn’t. there tht often nw she’s dating her latest man (jonas, somehow always sweaty no matter the weather, wears too many gold rings n smells like shoe cleaner) who owns a car dealership n thinks he’s a kingpin for it. still home sometimes tho.

PERSONALITY:

ziggy spends his days working shifts at an ice cream parlour (one he got fired from once bc he broke in high n ate sm ice cream he was lay on the floor in the bk pants unbuttoned stomach bulging sm calling himself garfield saying he had too much lasagna. they hired him bk tho bc he has a harem of middle aged women who lust after him n it brings customers....) or like. cruising parties...... setting off fireworks.... skateboarding...... breaking into abandoned buildings.... filming stupid jackass type tricks....... playing guitar hero...... getting drunk at the arcade..... sometimes busking fr cash in a tossed dwn hat (very badly) (thinks he’s sick at it however)........ or alternatively...... fucking chicks aha...... fuck.......... not exclusive to chicks tho just had to sound despicable bt :smirk: he’s bi Baby.... 

i won’t lie he’s kind of an asshole................ never rly was taught properly how to empathise with ppl so like he struggles w that....... sometimes he’ll say smthn tht’s genuinely just quite mean n doesn’t need to be said but he doesn’t rly realise it’s like bad. n he’s like. what’s the deal haha why are u mad...... 

fuckboy. genuinely jst. rly summarises it well. insatiable. sleeps around wildly. will say he’ll call u back n then will not call u back. lies like oh babe i’m moving to france tomorrow fuckkkkkkkkk sucks so bad that we can only have one night but let’s make it special yeah? tits? n then they’ll see him casually skating past them on the street a week later n be like well clearly he’s not in france. ziggy doesn’t care.

calls himself a “genius inventor” bc he once gutted a vintage analog television n made it into a fish tank. it literally leaked water a bit. still convinced he is a literal visionary never seen before never done again. he’s like i’m on the brink of greatness. i’m the next einstein.

has a bit of a god complex where he thinks he’s the sexiest person in any given room n it’s kind of funny bc like dylan minnette’s sexy to me bt tht isn’t a widespread opinion n ur being a bit bold ziggy...... regardless has confidence thru the roof tht isn’t rly deterred by anything or anyone.....

dyes his hair 49729572459752 colours every colour under the sun. sometimes all at once jst different patches. wears lots of tie dye tshirts n basketball shorts even tho he doesn’t play basketball. rly colourful sneakers. just lots of loud colours tbh. often wears a paper clip in his ear as an earring. pierced it himself. someone probably recorded him doing it fr his insta story. probably was drunk.

drives a vespa around tht is baby blue with pastel yellow polka dots. it has lots of tin cans attached to the back by string like on those cars when u just got married. he did not just get married. u can hear him arriving frm over a street away.

almost never pays fr anything bt is always like “yo it’s my treat” n then either dine n dashes or u have to pay

his idea of romance is nuking a hot pocket as breakfast in bed n then complaining he’s hungry n eating half

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

fuckboy antics: he’s insatiable. rabid. notorious. mayb they fkd n he didn’t call........ jst completely ghosted........ mayb they were genuinely into him n he honestly built up kind of false pretences abt them having a connection n then jst dipped..... cld  b good fr angst n drama <3 someone please egg his house he deserves it <3

high skl heathens: locals tht were equally chaotic in hs..... just picture him having this group of misfits tht were like so loud n always getting up to no good doing god knows what god knows where.... probably gt arrested together breaking into an old abandoned hospital one time........... rly just doing the absolute most at all times............. probably so loud........... drinking n smoking far too much.....

an attempted teenage relationship: i’m like. tentative to even put this one bc i just feel like ziggy wld be a shit bf. KJHGFSHGFHGSFHGFKGHFKSG. but. maybe it ended in drama.....i’d say this wld probably be a girl bc in hs he probably ws less open w his sexuality... maybe ziggy cheated on her or she cheated on him................ angst........ strife.... we love it we love it........ i crash my car into the bridge... i don’t care... i love it... sudden icona pop moment me stood on stage singing karaoke.... it’s just gone 7am as i write this so i apologise if this is losing any. coherency. smiles so sexy....

last adolescent plot i swear: i picture when ziggy was expelled he somehow amassed a large group to protest w signs outside the school fr him to be accepted back. it didn’t work. he threw a party when he received news he hadn’t got back in anyway. maybe ur muse was involved or helped organise this or was violently opposed.

enemies: ppl who just. don’t like ziggy bc like honestly that’s so fair n valid. KJHGFKGHKSFGHSGKHSFHG..... mayb he like. exploded their mailbox one time when they were younger. mayb he skated over their toes. mayb he fucked their bitch aha fuck................. (joking btw) (don’t condone misogyny) (hashtag feminism). cld be fun to play around w

fwb: probably hs a few of these......... mayb they’re cool w things being no strings attached n lax n at ease w ziggy being the mess tht he is in general..... mayb they want more bt ziggy cannot provide...... mayb they literally don’t get on at all n this is their only mutual ground n they keep coming bk to each other.... :smirk:..... whatever u Farncy....

maybe ziggy’s mum dated ur muse’s dad at one point???? we can discuss this if u think it fits..... cld be fun to play around w............

coworkers: past or present r fun..... mayb they were like WTFFF is this guy fking ONNN at a past job (he’s had a few in the food service industry so pretty open in tht area)... mayb they work w him at the ice cream parlour now..... cn discuss the dynamic probably wld be dependent on the muse involved fr like. how he’d act n stuff.... :yum:

could i ask for mina, tsu, and momo w/ a female s/o who’s quirk is shapeshifting (she has to learn the anatomy of the animal/object she wants to shift into, and if she overuses her she will stay in that body until she gets enough energy to shift back), and one day overuses her quirk while she’s shifted in a dog’s body, so she’s basically a dog for the rest of the day/night; thanks! ❤️

Mina, Tsuyu, and Momo with a female!SO who got stuck after shapeshifting in dog form

⤑ requests open! | rules

First off, I want to say thank you so much for giving me my first ever request! I hope you like it! (•‾⌣‾•)و ̑̑♡

Mina Ashido

First of all, I think she would think it’s hilarious

“What, you can’t switch back?”

“No... not for a while at least”

*Queue her laughing maniacally for 15 minutes*

Once she got over the initial suprise it wouldn’t take long for her to start scheming

So there you are, doing tricks on the street which no animal should normally be able to

Mina is dressed up like a magician and breakdancing

Slowly a crowd gathers around the two of you. People are clapping and someone started playing music from a shop across the road

Essentially, you know have 50 people all grooving around a dog doing stunts on a skateboard and a hip hopping ‘alien’

What a vibe honestly

When the party dies down you have both exhausted yourselves thouroughly, but it’s okay because she buys you ice cream to share on the way back to the dorms

Freaks out about you eating chocolate lowkey

If you wanted to conserve energy, she probably wasn’t the gal to go to

But tbh you had a really fun day and passed out in her arms, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Tsuyu Asui

Tsuyu is kind of animal-like in her own right, so I don’t think she will think of it as ‘cute’ or as novel like Momo or Mina would

Rather, I feel like she’d look at the whole situation holistically

“You’re a dog now?”

“Yeah, for a while at least”

“Okay.”

She’s 100% the type of girlfriend who likes having weekly dates, so you guys will go to your sunday afternoon beach picnic as normal

Well, as normal as it could possibly be given the situation

You used to bring the snacks on these dates, but given your current lack of opposable thumbs she decides to pick some up from 7/11

It was probably a very odd sight seeing a her grabbing snacks with shiba inu trailing behind her holding a basket in it’s mouth

Wait till they see you get out your wallet to pay

She really likes Lofi hip hop and uses the speaker you got her for her birthday to play music

Once you finally get settled she’ll take great joy in feeding you her onigiri

What can I say? She likes helping people

She’d place kisses on your forehead and cuddle as you watch the waves

You chat about your lives and crack jokes until the sun sets

Overall you’ll have a very wholesome and relaxing day with her

Frog gf ftw!

Momo Yaoyorozu

TBH she would love this

Of course she’d be concerned for you but she would also think it’s the cutest thing in the world

“So you’re going to be a dog for the rest of the day?”

“Yes, until I regain my energy”

“Ah I see”, she says, becoming visibly excited

Momo is extremely loving and EXTREMELY rich

So she would absolutely take this opportunity to spoil and pamper you in ways she can’t when you’re in human form

Doggie day spa? Check!

Buying matching doggie/owner outfits? Check!

5-star food brought out on a literal golden platter? Check!

She would do everything in her power make sure you were able to relax and recharge to get back to normal although she may go overboard

She would use her concern for you as an excuse to let you to sleep over

From then on it’s baking, bath bombs, and cuddles!

You’d end the night watching movies in her personal theatre with her holding your paw you both fell asleep

Ahhhhh I’m having a cuteness overload

All in all you would have a great time with her