can't believe a show based on a videogame (usually games adaptations are notoriously bad, which isn't the case here tho) gave me the beauty and the beast/twisted mirrors/enemies to traveling companions/ruthless antihero+optmistic but still badass heroine who takes none of his shit/age gap but make it sexy dynamic of my dreams. as much as i love maximus and i think he deserves the best writing ever because 1. he's a clever deconstruction of the aspiring Knight bro who's actually a bit of a loser and, as much as lucy, sees the world in black&white at first and then doesn't get what he thought he wanted but what he needs (or at least i hope he'll eventually get it), and 2. he's a cutie and i want an epic love story for him too, it's very funny how they tried to give us a puppy kind of romance and the tumblr girlies still fixated on the "toxic ~she bites his finger off and he cuts hers off and sews it on his hand in what we'll pretend it's a symbolic marriage rings exchange or whatever~ asshole who used to be a nice guy/good girl™ with a lot of spunk and hidden anger but unshakeable morals" kind of relationship.
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love that we were all theorizing that the smfs was gonna be some serious mv where p2 killed each other again, or something to do with andy and meredith’s wedding but they were like. yeah no pete and jimmy butler go cowboy mode and vibe to smfs for four minutes <3
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I'm so proud of myself about finances in the past couple months. I still struggle with money but I did enough meditation and journaling and practicing about it to make myself able to actually face my loans and credit cards and savings and bills and start really truly organizing and addressing them for the first time in years instead of just flying by the seat of my pants.
Like. This is a huge deal for me. I've felt like I'm in deadly danger every time I've tried to think about money for years and years. I'm finally able to look it in the face and stare it down and start to organize and plan on purpose instead of just keeping up with the minimum to stay afloat. I'm so proud of myself.
It's still a refrain of "GUILT (funny link)" every time I think about money but I'm able to actually make spreadsheets and face the numbers and monthly tracking again, and even make a new full budget which I haven't been able to do in ages.
still feel guilt, overwhelm, and helplessness, but no longer feel as much deep elemental shame and terror. that's progress baby
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it boggles my mind that I still see reminder type posts about not consuming Harry Potter content, not because I expected everyone to agree to stop engaging but because I did sort of expect that the people engaging with hp in 2024 would at least have the decency to not grovel on the internet for random transgender bloggers to validate that they're still a good person and not transphobic for liking hp still. like these posts are not redundant they are FILLED with defensive responses and excuses for why actually its fine and its like not only can you not stop engaging with Harry Potter but you also want to be able to post about doing so non-stop and you never ever want to even see a transgender person point out that JKR is actively funding and directly influencing transphobic organizations and legislation. to the point that when someone does you are incapable of simply scrolling by because you need so badly to be reassured that this internet rando doesn't think you specifically are a bad person for doing the thing they said is bad. unreal main character syndrome. if you have committed to being an hp fan fine i am not a cop or your mom and I cannot make you do anything at all. but I am not, nor is any other trans person, going to give you 'permission' or absolve you of your own guilt for doing so. that is your problem to reconcile yourself and is not the job of random trans people. like jesus christ enough already
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I've been seeing more and more this idea that there are "simple" mental illnesses, like MDD, and it's really alarming the way people engage with those who they deem have "simple" illnesses.
Like, take for instance, how I saw somebody post how depression isn't "an excuse to be lazy" as though depression is as simple as "meh, I don't feel like doing things".
The thing about these "simple" disorders is that they are disorders. My depression has, to put it plainly, robbed me of much of my life. Depression isn't "laziness", it is the actual inability to do important things. Depressed people? We know that we have lives to attend to, but we aren't able to attend to them because we have a disorder. The inability to do the things we need or want to is, in fact, usually a major sign that we are depressed or have a depressive disorder in the first place.
Not to mention that depression is comorbid with other disorders such as panic disorders, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and other trauma disorders, body image disorders, and so, so many other disorders that makes our depression that much harder to address in many cases.
I really need people to stop sticking their nose up at people they feel superior to. These disorders - even in their own - are already complex enough. We don't need to know that you think we're awful people because we display the literal symptoms of our disabilities.
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