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#i'd have reblogged the post but i couldn't find it
incorrectvtuberquotes · 8 months
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Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman
part one | part two
#me when everybody is posting the maple leafs sad narratives and i am furiously generating this like HOLD ONNNN HOLD ONNNNNNN#honestly i could've been SOOOO MEAN about this because i saw this poem & alexandra got the preview on the poetry blog#where i just reblogged the first half of this poem point blank with the tags#kyle dubas#toronto maple leafs#& got yelled at aksdaksf & it literally only didn't go on this blog bc i usually write more & then it was percolating & i looked up the poe#& it was only the FIRST PART i'd reblogged i didn't know there was more & then brain immediately went brrrrr ok time for an edit.#this is a long one lol & i also have no idea if it makes sense to anybody but me but because y'all know me i will always overexplain so!!#my reasoning for the reasons obvi kyle. that's a given i hope he's doing well i hope he & his family r good but man is not coming in to wor#the second edit took me a stupid amount of time bc i am nitpicky but also i learned how to do the layers & transparency from the claude edi#that actually y'all don't know about lmao but i lost my mind when i saw how perfectly those pictures align i was scrolling getty & was like#ok december i'm gonna do a headline one (in my brain with the november/june quote about choosing to die again) w/ maple leafs playoff odds#how they say at winter break you know who's gonna be in the playoffs & who'll win & they thought they had a shot but it's mitchie overlaid#the 2003-04 team who'd last won a playoff round with the atlantic division stats from dec for 22-23 & how long it's been & dec headlines#i wanted breakup/recent/never loved to be a recent trade acquisition somebody who bounced around & somebody else so i almost had simmer#brodie & zar but then i wanted to make murray for breakup at any time &i forgot zar & him were on the pens together &it hit me like a truc#bc there's a photo of the two of them EXACTLY the same so close it's scary of this one but them as pens so they had to be it & i did always#know never loved again was mitchie. sorry. also mitchie in the penalty box the last game but i couldn't find footage of it & this one works#no i could not find a photo of tyler bertuzzi fighting a leaf for a dog looked at me yes i tried.#i almost made the bunting photo jt but instead it's 'bunting a rat etc' anyway the one i really feel unhinged about is dead pets bc at firs#i was gonna make it the handshake line & look to see if the leafs had drafted anybody on the panthers (dead pet former draft pick)#& they had & it was carter verhaeghe & i couldn't get a good pic of matthews & verhaeghe but it's fine bc i thought about the mo/luke schen#narrative (in which they are a perfect d pair long lost) & schenn was drafted by the leafs & that line fits jut trust me. also how i feel#about the kniesy luminous line that one possessed me it had to be kniesy idk why. i almost put gussy as girls are too pretty though ALSO#did u like my joke. daylight SAVINGS time on the goalie. thank u. also my photo magic on the jt (me very poorly editing in him as an isle)#OK ALSO HOLD ONNNNN there is a part two but i have to wait for the Content i want it will come out as soon as [redacted] or sooner#if i get bad at waiting &everyone will pretend like it is always the way it will be once i have the photos i want. speaking of did the leaf#simply not take a team photo this year?? it Does Not Exist for me i have tried very hard to look for it also i'm excited for part 2#one of them is named oh you're so unhinged for this one & the finished product is you're unhinged in ways you didn't even know u were sorry#liv in the replies
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lucy-ghoul · 5 months
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i think i finally found a semi-famous (?) blog that blocked me lmao
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03jyh23 · 1 month
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— starlight, guide light, and everything in between || jeong yunho
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In the quiet moments of parenthood, amidst the tears and the laughter, we find strength in each other's arms, and love that knows no bounds.
first-time dad!yunho x first-time mom!reader
genre: angst, fluff
trigger warnings: infant distress/crying; illegitimate child; parental anxiety/panic; emotional distress; breastfeeding; postpartum experiences
words: 3.8 k
reminder: what you're about to read is purely fiction, so let's keep it separate from reality.
!minors do not interact!
— hi there! the time has finally come, and im publishing my first Yunho fic 🥹 lately, some kind of maternal instinct seems to have awakened in me, and i had to get it out somehow 😭😭 i guess im getting old. just to clarify, i haven't given birth myself or have kids, so this fic is solely written based on my imagination of what it might feel like postpartum.
love, monika. ♡
if you enjoyed this post, i'd be so grateful for a little love – a like, reblog or comment would truly make my day!
You were dozing off wrapped in Yunho’s arms, your head in the crook of his neck, his smell calming your tired body. Your eyes were heavy, and it was getting harder to fight sleep. His hand was creasing your sides softly, lulling you to sleep. Being curled up on top of your boyfriend was your favorite place on earth. There was something incredibly comforting about being wrapped up in Yunho’s arms, feeling his warmth and steady heartbeat. It's like your own little sanctuary, a safe place where you can let go of all your worries and just be present in the moment. And falling asleep like that, with the gentle rhythm of Yunho's breathing and the soft touch of his hand, felt like drifting off into a dreamland.
It was a little over a month since your life was turned upside down when your little daughter was born. In that short period, every aspect of your world had shifted, reshaped by the arrival of this tiny, precious bundle of joy. The days had blurred together in a whirlwind of feedings, diaper changes, and sleepless nights. Yet amidst the chaos, there were moments of pure magic—how your daughter's eyes would light up with wonder at the world around her, the soft coos and gurgles that melted your heart, and the overwhelming sense of love that filled every corner of your home. But alongside the joy, there were also moments of doubt and uncertainty. Yunho, however, was deeply scared and anxious about becoming a father to a daughter. The mere thought of holding the fragile little being, feeding her, or changing her, filled him with a sense of fear and hesitation. It almost seemed like he was unable, or unwilling, to form an emotional bond with the newborn. This emotional disconnect was not just limited to the baby. Ever since you gave birth, a sense of apprehension and fear had gripped him. It was as if he was afraid to hold you, to touch you, and to confront the changes that your body had undergone postpartum.
The vulnerability that came with postpartum recovery was like nothing you had ever experienced before. Your body felt foreign, every movement was accompanied by a dull ache, a reminder of the physical toll that bringing your daughter into the world had exacted. But it wasn't just the physical changes that left you feeling vulnerable—it was the emotional upheaval as well. The hormonal fluctuations, the sleep deprivation, the overwhelming responsibility of caring for a newborn—all of it combined to create a perfect storm of doubt and insecurity. In those moments of vulnerability, you had expected Yunho to be your rock, your unwavering source of support and comfort. Yet, his actions—or rather, his lack of them—left you feeling more alone than ever. His hesitation to hold your daughter, and his reluctance to look at your postpartum body, all served as a painful reminder of your perceived shortcomings as a mother and a partner. You couldn't help but wonder if Yunho found you unlovable now if the changes wrought by childbirth had somehow diminished your worth in his eyes. It was a cruel thought, born out of fear and insecurity, but it lingered nonetheless, festering like an open wound in your heart. You couldn't help but feel a sense of helplessness wash over you. The distance between you and your boyfriend felt insurmountable, a gaping chasm that threatened to swallow you whole.
That's why today's little nap meant everything to you. For the first time since the birth of Yunmi, Yunho was holding you like this, providing you with the comfort and warmth you longed for.
"Wait, did you hear that?" Yunho’s soft voice disrupted your nap. Not in your right state of mind yet, you just hummed against his neck, your eyes not opening even for a second. With a gentle hand, Yunho shifted you slightly, allowing himself to slip out from beneath your embrace. As he rose from the bed, you blinked groggily, trying to shake off the remnants of sleep that clung to your senses.
"What is it?" you murmured, your voice thick with sleep. Yunho's expression was one of quiet concern as he motioned towards the crib.
"I think she's awake," he whispered, his tone barely audible in the dimly lit room. Your exhaustion weighed heavily on every limb, making even the simplest tasks seem daunting. With a weariness that seemed to seep into your bones, you clung to the pillows, seeking refuge in their soft embrace.
"Could you get her?" you whispered, your voice barely above a hoarse murmur, as you heard the soft cry emanating from the crib. You mustered all your strength to sit up and shake off the tiredness as you looked at Yunho standing still next to the crib, almost as if he was unable to move any closer. Each cry felt like a dagger to your heart, a reminder of your inability to provide the comfort that your daughter so desperately needed.
"I think it's better if you take her," he said, his voice devoid of emotion, his gaze fixed on the wall as if unwilling to meet your eyes. The words struck you like a slap in the face, igniting a firestorm of indignation deep within your chest. Yunho's refusal to take Yunmi stirred a storm of emotions within you. Anger, frustration, hurt—all of it boiled beneath the surface, threatening to spill over at any moment. How could he still refuse to take responsibility for his own daughter? How could he stand there, staring blankly ahead, while you bore the brunt of exhaustion and fatigue?
"Yunho, how can you—" you began as you stood up from the bed, your voice trembling with emotion, but the words caught in your throat, choked off by the weight of your anger and hurt. Tears welled in your eyes, hot and stinging, as you struggled to contain the torrent of emotions threatening to overwhelm you. As you approached the crib, your hands clenched into fists at your sides, your breath coming in ragged gasps as you fought to maintain control. You leaned over the crib to take Yunmi into your arms and care for her. With a shaky breath, you turned away from Yunho, cradling your daughter close to your chest as you retreated to the living room. You weren't surprised that Yunho stayed behind in the bedroom, his presence a silent reminder of the distance that had grown between you. With a heavy heart, you settled onto the couch, cradling Yunmi in your arms as you prepared to breastfeed her. Your daughter's eyelids drooped as she nursed, the weight of exhaustion finally catching up to her. With each gentle suckle, she grew more and more drowsy, her tiny fingers curling against your skin in a gesture of contentment. As you watched her drift off to sleep, a pang of guilt tugged at your heart. You had expected Yunho to be there for you, to support you through the challenges of motherhood, yet time and time again, he had fallen short of your expectations. Yunmi finally drifted off to sleep, her tiny chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. With a weary sigh, you leaned back against the pillows, holding your daughter close as you closed your eyes, allowing the exhaustion of the day to finally claim you.
You opened your eyes to see Yunho carefully lifting your daughter from your arms, his movements a mix of awkwardness and tenderness. Despite his initial hesitance, there was a determination in the way he cradled her against his chest as if he wanted to make up for any shortcomings. As he tiptoed back into the bedroom, you couldn't help but feel a surge of warmth in your heart. Despite the challenges you faced, seeing Yunho taking care of your daughter for what you believed was the first time, filled you with hope for the future. You listened as Yunho gently placed your daughter in her crib, his voice humming a soft lullaby as he tucked her in. Drifting back to sleep, you were roused once more by Yunho's quiet voice emanating from the bedroom.
"I have so much I want to say to you," he whispered, his voice barely above a hushed murmur. Yunho gazed down at Yunmi, her small form tucked snugly into her crib, her chest rising and falling in the steady rhythm of sleep. ''I'm so sorry for letting you, and your mommy down since day one...'' A sense of awe washed over him as he watched his daughter, the weight of his emotions threatening to overwhelm him. "You're my little starlight, and I'm sorry for not telling you sooner. Yunmi is Daddy's precious, shining light in the darkness." He reached out to gently brush a stray lock of hair from her forehead, his touch feather-light against her soft skin. "Daddy is really so sorry," he continued, his voice thick with emotion. "Sorry for all the times I've been afraid, for all the moments I've missed. I want you to know that I love you more than anything in this world, and I'll do whatever it takes to be the father you deserve." As he spoke, he felt a surge of love and determination welling up inside him, a newfound sense of purpose ignited by the presence of his daughter. In her innocent slumber, he saw the promise of a future filled with endless possibilities, a future that he vowed to protect and nurture with all his heart. "I may not have all the answers, and I will make mistakes along the way," he whispered, his voice trembling with sincerity. "But I promise to always be here for you, to love you unconditionally, and to cherish every moment we share." With a tender smile, he pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, his lips lingering against her skin for a moment longer. "I love you and Mommy so much. Sleep well, my little starlight," he whispered his voice a soft lullaby that filled the bedroom with warmth and love. "And know that Daddy will always be here, watching over you, every step of the way. From now on Daddy will do his best." As Yunho's words echoed in the quiet of the apartment, you felt a mix of emotions welling up inside you, threatening to overflow. Tears streamed down your face, unnoticed in the darkness, as a tumultuous storm of feelings raged within your heart. Anger simmered beneath the surface, directed not at Yunho, but at yourself. How could you have been so blind to his struggles, so oblivious to the pain he had been carrying? You berated yourself for not recognizing the signs sooner, for not being there for him when he needed you most. But amidst the anger, there was also a profound sense of relief—a weight lifting from your shoulders as you finally understood the depth of Yunho's feelings. For the first time since your daughter was born, you felt truly connected to him, bound together by the shared experience of parenthood and the raw vulnerability of exposing one's innermost fears. And beneath it all, there was love—a love that transcended words and actions, a love that bound you together despite the challenges you faced. Despite the tears and the turmoil, there was a sense of gratitude in knowing that you were not alone—that together, you could weather any storm that came your way.
A little while later, you heard Yunho returning to the living room, his footsteps soft against the floor. A pang of guilt tugged at your heart as you pretended to be asleep, not wanting him to know that you had overheard his heartfelt words to your daughter. You quickly wiped your tears, and kept your breathing slow and steady, willing yourself to remain still as Yunho approached the couch. Soon, his arms enveloped you in a gentle embrace, lifting you bridal-style and carrying you back to your shared bedroom. Settling you onto the bed, he tucked you in with care, ensuring you were comfortable before gently placing the duvet over you. His touch was tender, his actions speaking volumes of his love and devotion. Yunho pressed down a warm kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering for a moment against your skin.
"Y/N, I'm so sorry," he whispered, his voice trembling with emotion against your forehead. "I'm just so scared to be a father," he whispered, his voice barely audible in the stillness of the room. "Scared to hurt her, to make mistakes that she'll never forgive." You felt the weight of his fear pressing down on you, his vulnerability laying bare the depths of his insecurities. With each word, it was as if a window had been opened to his soul, revealing the raw, unfiltered truth of his innermost thoughts and feelings. "I want to be the best father I can be, but... but what if I'm not enough?" His voice cracked with the weight of his uncertainty, his words echoing in the stillness of the room. And then, you felt it—a single tear falling onto your temple, a silent testament to the depth of his pain and fear. In that moment, your heart broke for him, for the struggles he faced and the burdens he carried. "And you," Yunho continued, his voice trembling with emotion, "you've been amazing since day one. I've watched you, seen the way you care for her with such love and devotion. It's like you were born to be a mother, and... and I can't help but feel like I'm falling short." Yunho longed to be the pillar of support you needed, the rock upon which your family could lean in times of trouble. But with each passing day, the weight of his insecurities grew heavier, threatening to crush him beneath their burden. "I'm still so afraid," he admitted, his voice barely a whisper now. "Afraid of letting you down, of letting Yunmi down. But I promise, I'll keep trying. I'll do whatever it takes to be the father she deserves, even if... even if it scares me to my core." In the darkness of the bedroom, his words hung heavy in the air. "I love you so much, Y/N, and I will do better, I will be the support you need." Yunho's voice broke through the silence once again, his words filled with sincerity and remorse.
"And I love you," you finally whispered, your voice filled with tenderness and affection. With a gentle touch, you reached out to wipe away the tears that streaked Yunho's cheeks, your fingers tracing the contours of his face with utmost care.
"You've been awake the entire time?" Yunho's voice broke the silence, his words carrying a mixture of surprise and relief. A shy smile tugged at the corners of his lips, a hint of uncertainty in his gaze as he met your eyes. You returned his smile, the warmth of his presence washing over you like a gentle breeze.
"Yes," you admitted softly, your voice filled with understanding. "I heard everything." There was no judgment in your words, no recrimination for his vulnerability. Instead, there was only acceptance—a shared acknowledgment of the complexities of love and the struggles that came with it. Yunho's smile widened, a sense of gratitude shining in his eyes.
"Thank you for listening," he whispered, his lips placing yet another kiss on your forehead. "And for being here with me." You reached out to him, your hand finding his in the darkness, a silent reassurance of your love and support.
"Always," you whispered, your voice filled with unwavering devotion. "I'll always be here for you, Yunho. Through thick and thin." Yunho creased your cheek gently, his eyes never leaving yours. "And now get under the covers with me," you giggled mischievously, reaching out to pull Yunho close by his neck. With a playful tug, you caught him off guard, pulling him towards you until he landed on top of you with a soft thud. Yunho's eyes widened in surprise, a startled laugh escaping his lips as he found himself sprawled across the bed, his gaze locked with yours.
"You little trickster," he chuckled, his voice filled with amusement as he shifted to settle beside you under the covers. With a grin, you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him close until your bodies were pressed together in a warm embrace. The feel of his warmth against your skin sent a shiver of delight down your spine, a feeling of contentment settling over you like a soft blanket. "I haven't kissed you in forever," Yunho murmured, his voice laced with longing as he gazed into your eyes with a mixture of affection and desire. A soft smile tugged at the corners of your lips, your heart fluttering at the thought of his lips against yours.
"Then what are you waiting for?" you teased as you leaned in closer to him. With a tender touch, Yunho cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing lightly against your skin as he drew you closer to him. And then, with a gentle tilt of his head, his lips met yours in a sweet, lingering kiss. At that moment, as you melted into each other's embrace, time seemed to stand still. The world faded away, leaving only the two of you, lost in the warmth and intimacy of the moment. As you pulled away, breathless and flushed with emotion, you felt a sense of completeness wash over you—a reminder that no matter how long it had been since your last kiss, the love you shared was as strong and passionate as ever. A playful sparkle danced in your eyes as you posed the question, your curiosity piqued by Yunho's endearing nickname for your daughter.
"If she's your starlight, then what does it make me?" you asked, a teasing lilt to your voice as you awaited his response. Yunho's gaze softened as he looked at you, a tender smile gracing his lips.
"You," he said softly, his voice filled with warmth and affection, "you're my guiding light. The one that leads me home, no matter how lost I may feel." Your boyfriend's words washed over you like a gentle caress, filling you with a sense of warmth and love. With a smile of your own, you leaned in closer to him, your heart overflowing with love and gratitude.
"And you," you whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, "you're my everything." And as you melted into each other's embrace, surrounded by the quiet intimacy of the night, you knew that no matter what the future held, as long as you had each other, you could weather any storm that came your way.
The sound of Yunmi's cries pierced through the tranquility of the night, pulling you from the depths of sleep with a jolt. You moved to rise from the bed, instinctively driven to tend to your daughter's needs. But before you could fully untangle yourself from the sheets, Yunho's firm grip on your arm halted your movements.
"I'll get her," he murmured, his voice filled with determination as he gently pulled you back towards the bed. You hesitated for a moment, torn between the instinctual urge to rush to Yunmi's side and the desire to trust Yunho to handle the situation. But as you looked into his eyes, you saw a steely resolve there—a determination to prove himself as a capable dad, despite his fears and insecurities. With a silent nod, you allowed yourself to sink back onto the bed, the warmth of Yunho's presence comforting you as you watched him rise to tend to your daughter. As he crossed the room to Yunmi's crib, you couldn't help but feel a surge of pride welling up within you—a recognition of the strength and courage it took for him to step up and take on the role of caregiver. Yunho took her in his arms, gently and tenderly, almost as if he were afraid that his touch alone might hurt her. He held Yunmi close to his chest, rocking gently from side to side, he tried to calm his daughter, yet Yunho's panic escalated as Yunmi's cries persisted, his worry evident in the trembling of his hands and the furrow of his brow.
"Is she okay?" he asked, his voice tight with anxiety.
"She's probably just hungry," you reassured him gently as you stood up for the bed, understanding the depth of his concern. But before you could offer to nurse her yourself, Yunho's response caught you off guard.
"Oh..." he trailed off, his voice filled with uncertainty. "I can't breastfeed her," he murmured, the realization dawning on him as he grappled with the limitations of his role as a father. You reached out to him, placing a comforting hand on his arm.
"It's okay, baby," you assured him softly. "There are other ways you can help soothe her. We can prepare a bottle together, or you can hold her close while I feed her. What's important is that we're both here for her." Yunho nodded, his eyes reflecting a mixture of relief and gratitude.
"Thank you," Yunho whispered, his voice filled with emotion as he passed Yunmi gently into your arms, his eyes still big with worry. "Should I prepare a bottle for her?" You smiled softly at his eagerness to help, appreciating his willingness to step up despite his initial panic.
"I think I'll just breastfeed her for now," you replied, your voice gentle and reassuring. "But thank you for offering." Yunho nodded, a sense of relief washing over him as he watched you cradle Yunmi close, the familiarity of the bond between mother and daughter bringing him a sense of comfort. As you settled into the comfortable position, you nursed Yunmi, Yunho remained by your side, offering silent support and encouragement. As you nursed Yunmi, the gentle rhythm of her feeding lulled both her and Yunho into a peaceful slumber. The soft sounds of her contented suckling mixed with the steady beat of their breathing, creating a tranquil symphony that filled the room. With Yunmi cradled in your arms and Yunho nestled close beside you, you felt a profound sense of contentment wash over you. The warmth of their bodies against yours, the softness of their breath against your skin—it was a moment of pure serenity, a snapshot of the quiet joy that parenthood brought. You allowed yourself to bask in the tranquility of the moment, relishing the feeling of being surrounded by the ones you loved most in the world. In the soft glow of the morning light, you watched over them with a heart full of love, knowing that in this simple embrace, you had everything you ever needed.
"Be patient with him. He's trying," you whispered to your daughter, the words soft and tender as you gazed down at her sleeping form.
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thatonebabybat · 7 months
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Being Masc & Goth
This blog usually isn't fashion-focused, but I was thinking about alt fashion and how it's sometimes a struggle to figure out how to style things in a masc way if you're interested in darkalt fashion, but you don't want to go too casual or basic with it. So I thought I'd throw together some tips, link some DIYs, and maybe throw in a few moodboards. I want to preface this with one thing: You do NOT have to adhere to traditional gender roles. Fuck anyone who tells you that you do. If you're a guy and you want to get into alt fashion don't let anyone tell you that you can't pull off a skirt or a dress or a strappy top. Literally the whole point of being alt is Doing Whatever The Hell You Want Forever. However, not everyone feels comfortable in that (I made this post because I'm transmasc and sometimes the long gothic dresses make me dysphoric), and not everyone is safe to do that ( as much as it sucks ass, if you live in a conservative area sometimes it can be genuinely dangerous for guys to wear makeup and dresses in public, and your safety should always come first), so I thought I'd lay out some tips on how to dress alt and masc from my own experience. I'm still learning so feel free to leave your own advice in the replies or reblogs! General Styling Tips: - Jackets. Jackets, jackets, jackets. Something about a big jacket always seems to give an outfit a more masc energy, and adding a cool jacket to an outfit can be a great way to elevate it and add some extra visual interest. I like black blazers, leather jackets, and black denim jackets in particular, but vests (formal menswear ones or more casual denim or leather ones) can work well too, especially in hot weather. - Any basic black pair of jeans will look 100x more alt if you loosely attach some chains to the pockets or belt loops. Also, pants with wider legs tend to look more masc than tighter fits. not sure why. Slacks can also be a really good and underrated option. - If you want to find good headwear, cool sunglasses have never failed me. You may be able to take some inspiration from Ouji fashion as well, but that's just my personal taste. - If you have a basic piece around, you can add pins, patches, safety pins, etc for a more casual look, or if you're going for something more formal, trims and lace details and embroidery can really add interest and elegance to it. (if you can't sew, you can order iron-on embroidered patches online or find them in craft stores that'll do the trick just fine.) This can take your pair of slacks or plain black blazer and turn it into a piece of formal gothic menswear you can make a staple of your wardrobe. - Find inspiration in your favorite goth artists. There's a lot of really cool goth music out there and a lot of those bands get really innovative with their looks! Figure out what you like about their style and try incorporating a few things in, it's fun! - If you have an alt wardrobe already but it just seems like something's missing or it could use some interest, try switching up the silhouettes or adding an extra layer! Seriously, don't be scared of playing with textures and sleeve shapes! I see a lot of dudes who just wear a band tee and a pair of jeans all the time, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, that can be a great look! But I think a lot of dudes just genuinely think that that's their only option and that everything else just "wasn't made for them" and that makes me a little sad. shred up some shirts and layer them, wear some bell sleeves, throw some extra safety pins or studs on, have fun! No one said masc fashion couldn't be fun. Unisex/Masc DIY Videos I Found:
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... And Some Inspiration!
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[These are all goth music artists, I wrote the band/artist names in small text on the images that were not already watermarked for those who are curious]
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pastel-charm-14 · 4 days
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how to start and maintain a successful girlblog
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hey girlies!! here are a couple tips i wish i'd known when i was starting up my own girlblog :) enjoy!
FIND YOUR NICHE -
decide what you want your girlblog to focus on. it could be fashion, beauty, lifestyle, self-care, a combination of any of these, really anything that excites you!! having a clear niche will help you get a loyal audience.
CREATE A GOOD USERNAME -
your username should be memorable and reflect the vibe of your blog. try to keep it short and sweet, and personally try to avoid using too many numbers or special characters.
some username ideas
sugarplum
cupcake
glitter girl
dainty daisy
peachy
DESIGN A THEME -
choose a theme that matches your aesthetic/niche. spend some time customizing it with colors, fonts, and images that represent your style. a visually appealing blog will attract more followers and is just nice to look at :)
POST REGULARLY -
consistency is so important! try to post at least a few times a week to keep your audience engaged. i'm starting to use the scheduling tool to plan out my posts.
ENGAGE WITH YOUR FOLLOWERS -
respond to comments, messages, and reblogs. making a blog is about building a community, and your followers will appreciate the interaction!!
USE RELEVANT TAGS -
tag wisely to help people find your blog. research popular tags related to your niche and use them where relevant!
FEEL FREE TO REBLOG -
don't just post your own content – reblog posts from other girlblogs that inspire you. this helps you connect with other bloggers and keeps your blog diverse.
STAY INSPIRED -
follow other girlblogs, browse pinterest, and stay updated on the trends in your niche. keep yourself inspired!! it will reflect in your content and keep your blog fresh.
some of my favorites
@honeytonedhottie
@pinkpigtailsprincess
@girlbossagenda
@girljournal
@universalitgirlsblog2
DON'T BURN YOURSELF OUT -
if you feel burned out, please take a break!! i felt burnout for the last half of may, and it sucked because i felt like i couldn't produce any good content, and i was tired of posting!
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re-lmayer · 3 months
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i've found myself in a bad situation. the tl;dr is i have to move, but i can't afford to. i'm a disabled student and just do not have the funds required to rent a truck, hire movers, and cover deposits. so, i'm offering various services on my kofi, but if you don't need those you can also donate there or via paypal. my cashapp and venmo are both erinshelley91 if you'd like to donate on those platforms (i couldn't figure out how to link to those)
if you can't afford to commission me or to donate, reblogging this post and sharing my twitter thread is a free way to help me out and is so appreciated!
more context and stuff under the cut, i just don't want to make a long post on ppl's dashboards
my landlord has been cheating on his husband, and their relationship is rocky. he also has a massive spending addiction according to his husband. his spending addiction is making him not want to perform the actual duties of a landlord, because investment costs are cutting into his shopping spree funds
ex, he is illegally not fixing a leak in the shower of the upstairs tenants, and claims the costs are more than their rent. he told them to "figure it out, or get the fuck out." (verbatim.) he also told me it would be cheaper for him to not have tenants at all bc his utility bills would be smaller. he then left it to ME to inform another tenant to leave (then gaslit me and denied it in front of his husband when his husband questioned it)
in his words, we have 90 days to leave. i am disabled and a full time student and have been living on my fafsa returns, and the last job i had made one of my disabilities worse to the point i've had intensive physical therapy (several hours several times a week) and am likely going to have to undergo surgery
i'm also mi/nd, so even on a good day i'm not very well equipped to handle things, and the recent stress has also caused my therapist to see me several times a week in lieu of institutionalization
all that said, i'm not in a good spot physically or mentally, hence the best i can do right now is offer some of my skills on kofi
i'm currently working with my state's vocational rehab to try and find a suitable job until i can get my degree, but even then i simply would not be able to afford the costs of a sudden move in the timeframe i've got to work with
UPDATE MARCH 25, 2024: i want to invest in a scooter to do gig work like doordash. this will let me work at my own pace, and earn towards the move myself, then i'll have some more independence to continue doing that after as well
they require 50cc or under, which means i could get a scooter for under $1,000. i'd also need to cover fees to renew my license (i let it lapse since i haven't had a vehicle), get a helmet, and get insurance (roughly $100 annually)
i also made some amazon wishlists for folks who would like to help but prefer to know exactly where their money's going. i have one for housewarming stuff here, and one for necessities here
update as of april 5: my cat peed on my bed, and since it's a memory foam mattress it soaked all the way through and ruined it
update as of april 7: she did it again. this time there's blood in it
update as of april 14: i still haven't been able to take her to the vet, but i've been trying to do at home remedies
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jinnie-ret · 6 months
Text
FIC RECS
Ok so someone in my asks box asked me for some fic recommendations and I tried to add some gradually but my asks have been so weird recently so I've had to make a new post for them!
First of all ty anonnie you words were really sweet, I hope you stay healthy too!
Also just to preface I will list sfw and nsfw recs so pls if you are a minor, do not explore the nsfw recommendations, these blogs will most likely have a mdni statement so pls respect that and don't go against that :)
Now, enjoy!
SFW
Enough for you - @mixtape-racha (poly ot8 angst comfort)
We love an angst comfort fic and this is one of my faves. Take caution reading this one and read the content warnings at the top just in case! But this one is simply amazing and I wish I wrote it the end.
The Field Trip - @dreamescapeswriting (Seungmin X reader)
Seungmin and reader are teachers in this and if you follow me you may have seen me reblog this one before bc I love it and want this, also this blog has so many imagines you will be fed for days
Warm blankets - @jiniret-writings (3 parts, hurt comfort poly ot8 x reader)
I felt so emotionally invested in this story when I read it, like I felt readers pain 😭 gorgeous
jack-in-the-box -@junicai (angst, ninth member reader)
Set in kingdom. We hate mnet. Skz are very protective and reader gets the comfort she deserves in the end, love this sm!
@hyunjinsbelovedamericano - lots of headcanons and reaction type fics on their MASTERLIST, give it a look!!
Simptober 2023 - @skz-streamer
Fluff for days!!! pookie rly worked hard on this one so go and show some love because you've got so much to read here
Skz text aus - @channiesbakery
These are so so funny I cannot cope. Also explore the other fluff posts too bc they're really cute!
More text aus - @diddybok
Same goes for this blog too, explore their other stuff!
@hannahhbahng has some rly cute fluffy reads on their masterlist
@hanjiquokkaaa check out their skz reactions! My pookie slays every time
Skz fluff fics - @wooahaes
So much fluff to pick from! I fall in love every time!
Warm milk and honey - @horanghoe (poly skz x reader)
One of my fav skz comfort fics of all time, it's so so good, recommending again bc I should
In his arms, unexpectedly yours - @cheesemonky (Hyunjin x reader series)
This is a new series which I'm excited to see my pookie write !!!
@astraysimp for dad skz!!!
Nicholas Ross - @dean-a-mean-tae (skz ninth member male oc)
Love their ninth member writings so definitely check it out if you're looking for male!oc who is the ninth!
In my past, I find you and in the future, I still have you - @yangbbokari (Chan x reader)
Heartbreaking, like so angsty but it's gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous
Princess treatment with SKZ - @j-oneproduces
Each individual member x reader has a drabble and I love it so so much, very accurate imo
@skzoologist read their imagines on their ninth member oc Bae! They also have a fic called unfamiliarity using the same oc :)
I like the view - @mirisss (hybrid ot8 skz X reader)
I rly need to reread this one because I loved what I read so far on it!!!
NSFW
Rabbit hybrid reader - @authorofdanger (hybrid skz x hybrid reader)
I've linked a masterlist, I'd recommend the fic dominance and then the first few fics which are to do with reader as a rabbit hybrid! slight warning that woojin is mentioned
Red Moon - @lixiepeach (omegaverse series)
this is one of the first skz omegaverse fics I read and it is done so beautifully, as it says in the description of the series, it deals with more adult content than just smut, and the way it is explored is written so well, couldn't recommend highly enough!
Inked Petals and Message Tones - @leviackermanscleaningbuddy (poly smau with real life)
this is an ao3 skz fic which changed my life. I can't explain how much I love this, it had me on an emotional rollercoaster fr fr like it's amazing!
n.h.i.e mini series - @hyungszn (smut ot8 x reader)
damn this one really has me on my toes like the chapters are chefs kiss and it's such a good read!
Bold - @hyunsvngs (American footballer minsung x reader)
Wow wow wee wow. This one made my brain go brrr and evaporate and melt and wow the storyline in it is so so good too. Juno rly has such a good relationship with anonnies and moots and it's so lovely to see. A jupiter stan right here!!
Sanguis Limerence - @jl-micasea-fics (vampire skz x reader)
This is one of the first series I was fully committed to reading on this all and constantly checking. It's insanely amazing, I can't put it into words and now I wanna read it all back again 😭
waiting for us - @kkami-writes (smau poly ot8 X reader)
I'm in love with this!!! Perhaps my fav skz smau like the character development as well is really nice to see and it's an easy read if you find it easier to read it in text messages form
Anger management - @2chopsticks2eyes (minsung x reader)
This is so hot and the way the storyline progresses as well is beautiful
@1-800-shedevil I'm in awe of her and her blog. Gorgeous writer, gorgeous writing. Her posts about body positivity rly are so helpful and her words are so comforting
Sharing = caring - @cbini (ot8 X reader)
This is unbelievably good and if you haven't seen it yet? Do you even Tumblr? Love how ems has such a good relationship with moots and in answering asks too! cbinian for life
Better than revenge - @lixie-phoria (smau Jeongin x reader)
I'm so obsessed with this series so far, putting it here bc there's smut to be added in the future. But I'm in love with it so far wow!!!
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mixtape-racha · 6 months
Text
cw: unprotected sex, exhibitionism, mentioned seungmin, fem!reader
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getting pounded by minho while the other members are in the next room over, his hand clamped over your mouth so tight your head is spinning and you adore it
all you can hear is the slapping of skin and minho's grunts, accompanied by your muffled whimpers and the way he pressed kisses against your shoulder has your eyes rolling back
he's so deep you swear you can feel him in your pelvis and you've been going at it so long your bodies are practically glued together with the sweat dripping off of both of you
soon enough, the boys will get concerned that it's been quiet for so long and come looking - there's only so much a stupid movie playing in the background can cover up
you clench at the thought of one of the members catching you like this, and you pray that minho won't notice, or care enough to question it
of course, he's smarter than you give him credit for and he chuckled against your skin, the lines of his smirk practically imprinted on you
"thinking about them coming to find us, hmm? seeing you like this, all spread out for mine like you should be?"
god, you hate that he knows you so well
"wouldn't that be a shame? probably traumatise poor felix. jeongin would move out. but what about seungmin, huh?"
your eyes rolled again, and you're just glad he can't see your face right now or you know he'd tease you forever
"now, seungminnie... i bet he'd like it. maybe a little too much, if you know what i mean?"
of course you did, but you weren't going to stop him talking now - not with the way your stomach was twisting and your chest pounding
his hips almost seemed to speed up as he continued talking, and it was then that you knew you had something to use against him
"maybe i'd let him watch. let him jerk his pathetic cock at me fucking you... or maybe we'd switch. maybe i'd let him take my place, and you could put on a show for me."
your thighs shook as you pushed your ass back against him to meet his thrusts, orgasm so close that you could almost taste it
"i reckon you could ruin him. have him whining and whimpering the way you usually do while you ride him. make him a complete bitch, yeah?"
you cried out into his hand, knowing he was close to his release too and wanting to finish together, but holding back was so, so hard
"you wanna make seungminnie a messy slut, yeah? put on a show for me, show me how much of a good girl you really are-- oh fuck, c'mon, baby, cum for me-"
your knees buckled as you came, the feeling overwhelming as minho's load shot inside of you
he took his hand away from your mouth, peppering you with kisses as he pulled out, but the silence couldn't be kept for long
"i'm gonna clean you up, and then we're gonna talk more about this, yeah?"
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(a/n: scheduled post!)
-> don’t forget to reblog or comment if you like my works ♡ please refrain from modifying, translating, or copying my work. - © mixtape-racha
tags ✮⋆˙ : @pretty-racha @chubbyanarkiss @taeriffic @mits-vi @chanssmiles @5kayzee @queen-klarissa @torixx80 @fawnpeaks @bangtanmix73 @savluvsmingi @boi-bi-ahaha @skz-streamer @demetrisscarf @manj1ro @linocvpid @alextheweeb7 @chans-american-slave @unsweetenedpeatea @carpioassists @bangtancultsposts @reiheis @happilydeepestwonderland @leemidnightmoon @watariisbestboy @hwangrimi @weedforthoughtz @ivyisnotokay @yevene @puckmaidens @poody1608 @vampcharxter @ilcveyouu @yeetmehome @prettymiye0n @bratty-tingz @diorrxluvskz
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stil-lindigo · 6 months
Note
Hey, I just wanted to share something with you, as someone who's so invested in the Palestine conflict, I hope it might inspire hope, even a little.
I was born and live in Egypt, a very conservative and religious country. These days I deleted my Tiktok and rarely ever use Twitter, as I'm in my senior year, and seeing the constant deaths and torture was getting into me so much that I couldn't even eat or drink properly, nevertheless properly study. I honestly am not proud of myself for doing so, but there's comfort in the fact Egypt is so Pro-Palestine. There's a lot to be done, and even for people like me, we can help.
My school has been donating food, clothes and blankets to Palestine. The McDonald's in here have been trying to distance themselves, claiming they're "100% Egyptian", only to get mocked and insulted. I go by the local McDonald's, there's a lot of schools where I am, around 5 in two blocks, and where before they were constantly so full, these days they're so empty. I can only see maybe 3, 4 people in there. A lot of people in my school are on a complete strike, against every American product. We've resorted to buying and getting local products instead. Egypt is doing very poorly economically at the moment, but there's still a lot of effort into knocking out American products, even if not by the companies, by the youth and the children. I can't go a single class without one of my teachers openly supporting Palestine. My Arabic teacher constantly uses the people in Gaza to teach me grammar, calling them brave and courageous. My geography teacher denies Isreal, and has been in league with others to get more donations and aid. Egyptians believe so truly that Palestine will be free that it's hard not to think so too. I've had classmates openly agree that if they could, they'd join the army to help fight for Palestine, I've seen more people than ever mocking the current regime, I've seen more people than ever falling out of the American illusion and seeing it for what it is. I've spent a lot of religion classes being taught Arabic brotherhood and chivalry, when previously, the lessons were stereotypically conservative in nature and I used to despise them for it.
Yes, the government sucks like every other, but there's an air of open support in here. No one is losing their jobs for stating the truth, homes and shops are waving the Palestinian flag. Even the antisemitism, which was rampant, has seen a noticeable decline. People in here stand for Palestine.
I want to also let you know you've been an inspiration for people, or at least, to me. I want to be able to participate more, and I see your reposts and reblogs and I want to do even more than what I did at the start, which was retweeting and reposting and sharing what I can to my friends. Unfortunately due to my current living situation and my terrible memory, I missed being able to donate to the school, but they have stated to open up donations again soon, and I'm preparing in advance for that one. I was not raised Zionist, but I was raised warned against participating in political affairs, saying I'd be put in more trouble, and even could be killed. But I see you and I see so many Americans losing their jobs and being branded criminals and as moral failures for speaking out, and I find it harder and harder in me not to also speak out. And even if I'm not constantly retweeting and reposting, there is something I can do. You helped me realize that, and I'd like to thank you.
I hope this cheers you up even a little, I've noticed your posts these days expressing how much this has been upsetting you. It's been upsetting to all of us, and I want you to know that it's not fruitless, no matter how many western countries and how many bootlickers make you feel otherwise. This ordeal has taught me the world is a brotherhood, politics and money are never a reason for why we should not stand together, and why we shouldn't speak for those having their voice silenced.
Please excuse me if something comes off wrong or unnatural. Like I said, I was born and I live in Egypt, English is not my first language and I still have issues communicating my personal thoughts in it. Please never don't stand for Palestine. Please never lose hope for it, like the Egyptians never have and never will. Please never let people make you feel hopeless and insane.
Thank you for listening to me, thank you for caring about Palestine when it would've been easy not to. Thank you for using your platform, and if you found it in you to read this thing, thank you for giving time to a brown Arab, when the world so strongly encourages you not to. Please continue to inspire justice, and I hope the world one day continues to inspire hope for you.
😭 anon, I cant explain how much I appreciate you sending this message. I know there is hope for Palestinian liberation, I know that we will see freedom for Palestine. But god do I need the reminder sometimes that we aren’t all just shouting into the void. My country of Australia shamefully takes a cowardly stance on Palestine, always deferring to the US to guide our foreign policy, and yet always claims moral superiority over other countries such as yours. Thank you, really thank you so much for sending this message. I feel so so honoured to have earned an audience that includes you. I believe an audience does reflect an artist, and to know I have done you proud in any way makes me feel full.
And please don’t ever feel ashamed of your English, you are eloquent and have a wonderful, compassionate voice, and you have inspired hope in me for yet another day.
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sayuri-of-the-valley · 10 months
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On how Crowley and Aziraphale's dynamic shifted in s2:
Okay so I was inspired by this lovely post by @rebeccasteventaylor which I couldn't find the link to in order to reblog directly, but if anyone has a link to it pls I'd love to put it here:
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Anyway, while I absolutely 100% agree with @rebeccasteventaylor 's meta, I have to point out that s2 shifted it a little. Especially for Aziraphale.
We don't see him looking away trying to hide his heart eyes anymore as he used to do in s1 (we all remember the "smitten" scene, only to cite ONE). Compare the little breath of lust from the Bastille (when he looks away twice) to the "don't hesitate to ask me if you have any questions about love" one.
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In s2, he touches Crowley like crazy. He touches his chest, his hand, his back, asks him to dance, gives him a whole ass cotillion ball.
He was deliberately and explicitly pursuing Crowley this season. If s1 was all Crowley pursuing Aziraphale, s2 was all Aziraphale pursuing Crowley.
And Crowley seemed to either not notice or not acknowledge that Aziraphale was doing that (the way he said Aziraphale only has 3 reasons to call him still drives me crazy. Crowley ffs those were ALL the reasons there is to call someone. He's ALWAYS thinking of calling YOU).
I think Crowley was afraid. Probably for the same reason he never told Aziraphale he was homeless. Which is sad and kinda doesn't make sense at first bc this is all Crowley has ever wanted, right?
Until we remember the last time Crowley let himself love and be loved freely, he was cast away (yes, the Fall). He lost everything bc he wasn't worthy according to some crazy criteria. Apparently he doesn't even know what he DID exactly.
I wonder if Crowley thinks he's not worthy of Aziraphale. I wonder if that's why he refused to see their love for centuries until Nina threw it at his face (Nina LITERALLY doing the Lord's work). I wonder if he's afraid of loving and letting himself be loved and then losing it again. Afraid of daring to ASK and losing everything. Again.
And Crowley wasn't *happy* this season, even with their freedom. I wonder if Aziraphale was mistakenly arriving at the conclusion that he was not enough to make Crowley happy. That him alone would never make Crowley smile the way he did when creating nebulae.
These 4 years were breathing space between the two "wars", according to Crowley himself in s1. And I think Crowley doesn't deal well with their relationship in a calm environment. He only knows how to make grand gestures, and heroic rescues, and go fast and act on impulse because then he doesn't have to THINK. Once he needs to sit down and make a commitment (telling Aziraphale he's homeless for ex), he just STOPS, he can't.
Aziraphale was the opposite. The calmness without any danger was giving him all the space he needed to act on his feelings, while the sense of danger always made him enter denial mode (which ironically seemed to be Crowley's mode in s2).
Of course they still need to put a name on what they are and stop pretending, Nina was absolutely right (and Crowley did catch up on that faster in those last 15min), maybe Aziraphale was still lacking this bit even if he was pursuing Crowley, but we can't deny that until those last 15min the "us" was coming from Aziraphale.
It's sad to realise that unconsciously, without even noticing, Crowley was rejecting Aziraphale almost the whole season.
UNTIL suddenly there's a huge problem, a desperate situation and he wants to abandon everything, take Aziraphale and run away again! (his original plan wasn't even to run away, it was to go to the Ritz). And who can blame him after what happened when he Fell? The Fall was totally unexpected, nobody even knew that could HAPPEN.
Crowley doesn't think himself worthy of Aziraphale (he's UNFORGIVABLE!), and Aziraphale doesn't think he's enough to make Crowley TRULY unashamedly happy and carefree.
And they're BOTH immensely WRONG ofc, we can all see it. They're each other's WORLD.
But they just assume stuff and never ASK, never TALK (bc well, it was literally dangerous before, I get it, their communication issues don't come from nowhere). That's why they have different perspectives on how to fix their situation in the end.
And btw I have to add we can't ignore Crowley was opening himself more too, always taking off his glasses when he was at the Bookshop for example. Ironically he was just a bit slower than Aziraphale for once. All that ofc until those last 15min, when they both change back to their old behaviours (makes me want to bang my forehead onto a wall).
I do believe they'd get there if the Metatron hadn't intervened (interesting that he chose this *exact* moment), especially after that little push from Maggie and Nina (for Crowley) and ofc brielzebub (for Aziraphale) that was gonna make them BOTH confess their feelings.
Anyway, bottom line, fuck the Metatron.
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This is also a thread on Twitter :D
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flowerandblood · 3 months
Text
ONE YEAR OF FLOWER&BLOOD
✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙
Exactly one year ago I posted my first chapter of the My Best Friend series. Nowadays I think it's something awful and I don't even try to edit it because I'd have to write everything from scratch, but I've left it for people who feel attached to the story. I remember getting about six likes and one comment on the first day and that huuuuge interest made me eager to create chapter 2 and then all the others.
I remember the excitement with which I waited and then replied to comments, not believing that people were actually waiting for the next chapter. At the time I was literally not following anyone, which was good because I wasn't comparing myself to anyone.
Eventually I felt I was ready to try writing other series and a few were successful enough that I decided to stay here permanently and create because it made me happy. Up to that point, everyone had been very kind to me and I started following more and more blogs, wanting to feel part of the fandom, to make friends with everyone. Now I know that was the biggest mistake I made.
Seeing things that didn't interest me, fanfic's whose way of writing couldn't draw me in, I felt frustrated, while at the same time fearing that if I stopped following someone, that person would see it as an affront. At the same time, The Impossible Choice, my biggest project until The Fall from the Heavens (which I'm currently editing and re-editing, while inserting on AO3), began to be written.
Just when I thought I had reached the pinnacle of my abilities (which wasn't true), I also started to clash with anonymous hate messages, probably the worst of which were those vilifying me and my husband, and those regarding my one-shot with Micheal Gavey. I know now that taking it personally and getting involved was my big mistake, and the fandom was shaken by drama that got out of hand.
I was a few steps away from deleting my blog at the time, but my husband talked me out of the idea (thankfully, as my stories aren't saved anywhere else − I'm only now moving them to AO3).
That's when I first realised that some people here I don't even like, and they probably don't like me. I wondered, why are we following each other then? Why are we pretending to have any courtesy? It was only later that I realised that to be considered someone's friend, you have to reblog their work and preferably agree with them even when they write hurtful things.
Since I've depleted my circle of those I follow to about 20 people, since I've blocked dozens of people and tags, there's been blissful silence (with the exceptions of when I write about behaviour in the fandom that I find toxic and someone accuses me of causing drama, but I'm used to it now). I've also never written happier than I do now.
Ideas come to me on their own, I don't feel uptight about what other big people will think of me, whether they reblog it, approve of it or not. I don't give a shit and life is beautiful! Although I can be emotionally unstable, I'm only 70 people short of crossing the next milestone of 3,000 followers, and that's BIG for me. It amuses me that I keep getting messages that someone is going to block me or stop following me, and you guys keep coming. It's gratifying.
I'm going to keep writing for you guys, and I'm sure during season two you'll also see my posts describing my impressions after the episodes in which I hope to involve my husband. I'll also keep you updated here on how I'm doing with my book I'm creating in my private life.
Apreciation
@ewanmitchellcrumbs
Ange. I know that sometimes I'm fucked up, but I want you to know that you've made this place so much more bearable for me that I can't imagine it without you. What I appreciate most about you is that you can talk and discuss, that you always try to understand the other side, that you are empathetic, warm and kind. I feel that, like friends in everyday life, we can also tell each other about things we disagree about, and there are not many people like that here.
On top of that, you are very talented and your stories are always a pleasure to read, even when they are short, you are able to build the plot and atmosphere perfectly, something I have always admired. Thank you for every kind word and understanding.
I still remember your first message to me via ask, referring to the fact that I didn't want to write a pairing with a mermaid because someone else was writing about it at the same time. My heart melted then, it was so nice!
@targaryenrealnessdarling
Liz, Queen of Angst! Your calmness and composure puts me in awe. You're disgustingly talented when it comes to writing and you have a super-sweet personality. When you started following me I began to squirm with delight, and when you started reblogging my stuff? My goodness!!!
@persephonerinyes
You've been engaging and reblogging my stories for as long as I can remember. Always involved, your thoughts make me smile. Thank you for being with me for so long!
@zenka96
You've been here with me since the dawn of time. You know that I love you. Your support from the very beginning really makes me feel like I have a friend here.
@huramuna
I am so proud of you! I remember your asks when I wrote Glass Cuts Deepest, your illustrations for me and your uncertainty about whether you should start writing yourself. I'm so happy for you and that you are so successful! You deserved it.
@black-dread & @aegonx
You are my favourite gif makers. Your work always leaves me in awe, you are amazing! I know how much work you put into it and somehow you make even the worst lit scenes look wonderful!
@summerposie; @0eessirk8; @melsunshine; @immyowndefender; @bellaisasleep; @kckt88; @thedamewithabook; @happinessinthebeing; @queenofshinigamis; @travelingmypassion; @mefools; @fan-goddess; @toodlesxcuddles; @ammo23; @troublesomesnitch; @mariahossain; @out-of-life; @apothe-roses; @heavenhatesme; @whitearemydarkestnight; @liv-cole; @blackswxnn; @echos-muses; @watercolorskyy; @at-a-rax-ia; @tssf-imagines; @snh96; @hiatuswhore; @exitpursuedbyavulcan; @darylandbethfanforever9; @the-dendrophile-bookdragon; @opheliaas-stuff @zaldritzosrose
Your comments and reblogs make me want to keep writing. You make me laugh, you comfort me and you support me. I know I'm definitely forgetting someone, but I want you to know that I love everyone who comments on my stories and there is nothing better for me than responding to your reactions and questions! I have known some of you for so many months that I truly consider you my good friends!
lottie-blue-star; aveatquevale-; aemondtargaryenwifey marvelescvpe; alphard-hydraes-blog; herejusttostan; li0nn3stuff; alexandrawho; vilmakamunen; angelinap09; theloveablestargirl; rose-blue-19; xxxkat3xxx; flosaureum; mandiiblanche; librawh0re; jasminecosmic99; ivvypg; rojocarnation; killmanduh; tokkiiidoll; wolfdressedinlace; angelofvivianne; nina2697; starwarsgirlsimmer1; katsucker; ipostwhtifeel; aemondsdelight; ilswemoon; tigrigri; pasta-rask; roselibrary; lystargs; gemini-mama; nikstrange; tempo-rary-fix; coffeeobsessedtrencher; gwuinivyre; dreamerbythewayx; diiickbrainn; mothmankit
And everyone else I missed and whose icons I would recognize from afar. I know that you have been with me for many months, often in silence or communicating anonymously. Your silent support and presence is something wonderful for me, knowing that you have been with me for so long and read all my posts!
Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!!
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Dick Prime
Warnings: (18+ only minors DNI), NSFW, 5k word count, fem reader, self- insert OC character, daddy kink, p in v, rick prime with feelings, big dick Rick, degradation a bit, rough sex, praise kink, marking kink, choking, orgasms, cream-pie, fingering, nipple play, manhandling, calling him God, age gap I guess
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Hi guys, this is an excerpt chapter from a Rick Sanchez fan fic I have been working on - thought I'd share a little taste on here and see if I could get any feedback. This chapter in particular follows my self-insert, Aurora as she is kidnapped by Rick Prime - enjoy :) If y'all would like me to post and share my other chapters pls reblog or comment 💜
----------------
 I woke up in a unfamiliar place٫ my head pounding viscously as my eyes struggled to adjust to the room around me. This place kind of looked like some sort of space motel room٫ but I couldn't remember a thing from the last 12 drunken hours of my life - I clearly needed to dial back my drinking or just not let Rick bet he can out drink me. I’ve never won that challenge. He really does have the hardest working liver in the universe, that's for damn sure. I wondered if he was feeling the same٫ but I doubted he was even remotely feeling hungover since he was used to getting black-out drunk on the regular. 
I flicked my wrist out٫ wanting to portal into Rick’s shoddy bedroom where I could crawl into his sad excuse of a bed (which was really just a small sized cot) with him so that he could hold me tightly while we slept. That plan was quickly cut as I noticed my portal bracelet was no longer on my wrist and it was no where to be found anywhere near me - what the fuck was going on?
Then I realized where I was - the realization smacking me hard in the face like a fucking freight train. The elaborate sci-fi technical patterns covering every square inch of this room should have been a dead give away from the second I laid eyes on it٫ but I was obviously still too inebriated to use my cognitive functions correctly. I was in what I was 95% sure was Rick Prime’s lair - that fucking cocksucker. How had he managed to find me? Much less find a way to lure me back to where he's been hiding this whole time.
As I was taking in every inch of the room in search of any kind of weapon, maybe even some sort of weird sci-fi button on a wall that I could press and magically find a way out of here under Prime’s nose, I suddenly heard a voice behind me٫ the sound striking me so hard I jumped.
“Great you’re awake٫ care to join me for breakfast?” Prime’s voice asked as he nonchalantly yet menacingly stood in the doorway of the room٫ his shoulder leaning up against the doorframe.
“Oh fuck you!” I spit٫ words coming out of my mouth coated in venom like I was a snake ready to strike.
“Like you have a choice. It’s funny that you thought you did. Let's get something straight٫ you’re mine now٫ so it's best you learn early that you WILL do as I say or there will be consequences.”
“What do you even want from me? Wasn’t killing Diane enough for you?”
“Of course it wasn't٫ but you're not here so I can kill you unfortunately. You’re here because do you know how rare you are?” He paused٫ walking forward into the room causing me to back up back onto the bed like a frightened little mouse. Damn, his presence was so intense. He started pacing a bit٫ back and forth٫ arms crossed across his chest as he did so. He turned to me and looked me directly into my eyes before he started speaking again.
“Every conceivable Rick in the universe would happily serve their own balls on a platter for a little taste of what you have to offer - this makes you especially interesting to me. Not only are you one sexy piece of ass٫ you are a Rick’s gateway to so much unlocked potential.”
“Excuse me?” 
“If ‘wife guy’ was smart he would have stolen your research from you a long time ago. Do you know how long it took for me to find you? It makes me horny just thinking about all that untapped knowledge you have floating around in that brain of yours.”
 “Anything my Rick wanted from me he got because he asked for it. Sorry٫ but I don’t barter for things I created especially not to a sci-fi douchebag like you.”
“No one said anything about bartering. I’m simply going to take what I need via brain scan and then you’re going to put out like a good little girl because when in Rome.”
“My Rick is going to kill you ya know? You’ve taken enough from him and he isn’t going to let you take me too.”
“I’ve avoided him this long and clearly he hasn't learned his lesson yet. I’ve recreated the omega device and this time it can fire more than once٫ I’ll wipe out his entire family line he comes anywhere close to me. I’d kill you too if you weren't so valuable - you should be lucky that a guy like me finds any interest in anyone but himself.”
“You might think that you have me right where you want me٫ but I’m gonna enjoy watching my Rick kill you when he finds you and if you’re lucky maybe we’ll have sex next to your corpse.” I said٫ my words carrying through the air like poison coursing through my vascular system.
It probably wasn’t in my best interest to be taunting Prime the way I was٫ but I refused to let this son of a bitch have it easy especially when it was his dumb ass decision to kidnap me. He knew my Rick was looking for him and he knew he was getting close hence why he even bothered making such an elaborate take on his own already ‘overkill’ device. All that brain and this motherfucker couldn’t grasp the fact that killing peoples’ loved ones doesn’t really warrant being left alone. 
“You think I couldn’t just take you right here if I wanted to? I’d bend you over that table and destroy that tight little pussy of yours and I just might considering you have no idea when to shut that bitch mouth of yours.” He grabbed me by the throat as he said that٫ squeezing the sides of my neck hard as he pulled me up and close to him. If I didn’t hate this Rick - I would have thought this interaction was so hot٫ too bad it was Prime.
“I’d like to see you try.” I said before spitting in his face٫ which in hindsight might have been a mistake٫ but it was too late to take it back.
Prime still had me by the neck٫ but he sighed heavily before shoving me onto the floor - catching myself on my hands before I hit the ground. 
“Don’t even bother trying to use any of your cybernetics - I put a lock on all of your tech and good luck putting up much of a fight without it.” 
---------- 2 weeks later —--------
   Over the few weeks that I had been here٫ regardless of how much of an asshole Prime was٫ no matter what it was that I needed or asked (within reason) for he was quick to give it to me. He didn’t appreciate any of my back talk and if I overstepped too far he did with hold things from me as a punishment٫ but for the most part it seemed like his intentions with me weren’t entirely evil - something I not only found puzzling٫ but very difficult to believe was actually genuine.
I pushed the limits of what he would allow a little bit further everyday٫ hoping to gain his trust so that I would be able to either escape or find someway to get a message to my Rick. I still wasn't exactly sure where we even were in relation to the universe - the curve - or maybe we were outside it? It was hard to know with the very little freedom within this elaborate sci-fi base that I was allowed. The most I could do while here was think - run through multiple plans and assess the probability of success rate to each plan I thought of. Most٫ if not every٫ plan I had managed to conjure up was far from impervious to any snags or complete failure given then sheer innate ability of Rick Prime to always somehow be 10 steps ahead. 
Today felt different though٫ I couldn't explain it٫ but as I sat across from him eating the breakfast that he had prepared for me - I could feel a different kind of tension in the air.
“Do you want to know why exactly you’re so special٫ Aurora?”
“I’m sure you’re gonna tell me even if I say no, so why the hell not?”
I was pushing around my eggs with my fork now٫ waiting patiently for his response. He kept telling me how ‘rare’ and ‘special’ I was to his grand design٫ but no matter how often he brought this up (which felt like constantly)٫ he refused to tell me how and why. Until now that is٫ which also struck me as weird.
“In order for you to even exist at all٫ Diane had to die you know? You’re familiar with the big bang I assume?”
“Nah٫ I just have a PhD in Quantum Physics for absolutely no reason at all - in fact٫ I just printed it off the internet completely fabricated credentials.” I said٫ the sarcasm clear in my tone as I spoke - I ran the risk of him punishing me for doing so٫ but he was usually lenient with my sarcasm since it matched his overt cynicism. It was my sharp tongue for disrespect and foul insults that really got under his skin.
“Well when I created the omega device to wipe out Diane٫ I didn't think to solve for any kinds of ripple effect that it might cause.”
“Meaning what exactly?”
“Well not completely unlike the big bang - the destruction of Diane’s life across infinity somehow resulted in the cataclysm that created X-258.”
“You’re saying you're responsible for me even existing? How is that even possible? Rapid succession in an inflationary epoch?”
“Precisely - well said. This means that without my omega device٫ you wouldn’t exist. How do you think ‘'wife guy” is going to react when he finds out that I literally made his new slam piece?”
“If you’re even telling the truth٫ which I suppose it is possible therefore also equally not possible by association. I guess given the rightly distribution of a negligible density gradient in order to deter the collapse into just a black hole and taking into consideration cosmic acceleration - I can’t disprove your theory٫ but that doesn’t mean you aren’t just bullshitting me right now.”
“As much as I love bullshitting and torturing other Rick’s for my own amusement٫ this is as real as real gets Aurora. You are only here because Diane had to die. You’re welcome and I’ll be accepting all forms of payment as a thank you٫ especially sexual favors.” 
“Wow٫ so my whole life is a lie - imagine that.” 
“You don’t seem too deeply affected by this revelation?”
“Did you expect me to lose my mind over a random occurring cosmological event? There was no way you knew your elimination of Diane would result in the formation of a universe that randomly produced me - so you did something by accident which is literally how 80% of all scientific findings usually occur. You aren’t special or interesting just because you managed to create a random event in spacetime - I do appreciate your massive need to milk your ego about it though.” 
“Spoken like a true Rick - which you are as far as I’m concerned. The most intriguing out of any possible iteration.”
“So what exactly about that makes me so valuable to you?”
“Other than the fact that ‘'wife guy” loves you٫ according to my advanced research using your brain scans and blood and tissue samples٫ I should be able use both to develop the infinite Rick serum which would make me immortal. I’m not referencing no low grade cybernetic٫ tech bullshit either. I’m talking real٫ invincible immortality. An actual God with the power to create and destroy whatever and whoever I want - 100% unstoppable.”
“Wow٫ who could have possibly guessed that the power hungry evil٫ emo٫ sci-fi Rick with a nondescript haircut would want something so nuanced and lame? If you’re immortal that kind of takes away from the pay off does it not? Not that doing anything honorably is a concern of yours of course.”
“So what do you think about giving your input on something for me?”
“Once again - why bother even asking if you’re just going to make me do it anyways?”
“I guess to give you the illusion of free will or just maybe I kind of like you - don’t get a big head about it though I would still kill you without a second thought if I ever needed to.” 
“Okay what exactly am I giving my input on?”
“I feel it may be best to just show you - meet me in the lab after you’ve finished your breakfast. Don’t keep me waiting long, it won’t end well for you.”
I rolled my eyes at his threatening tone as he got up from the table and left the room, I don’t know why I was so attracted to Prime the way I was - especially after what he did to my Rick, but I came to the ultimate conclusion that it was because him and my Rick were indeed so similar. The two Rickest Ricks in all of the infinite number of Rick’s that existed - the only two Rick’s to actually invent portal travel. In a way, my Rick only existed the way he did because of Prime’s destruction of his simple, domestic life. Prime was literally just my Rick without any sense of moral obligation and no matter how much I tried to convince myself that this fucker was bad and that I needed to distance myself - I simply couldn’t. I felt like my dna was so entangled up in having love for Rick that despite Prime’s obvious evil, I still loved him for simply just being a version of Rick. How fucked was that? Jesus fucking Christ - I needed out of here and soon before I really fucked up.
I finished my breakfast and headed out of the kitchen and into Prime’s elaborate sci-fi laboratory - this guy never did anything subtle that was for fucking sure and his attention to detail was absolutely infallible. He had something pulled up on the screen above where he was sitting and the closer I got, the more my eyes focused on the image. It was an image of me with a younger Rick, my Rick and Birdperson when we were together as freedom fighters on Glap-Flaps Third Moon. The Battle of Blood Ridge - this image was obviously a snapshot taken from my mind when Prime brain scanned me, but I didn’t really understand its significance to him. But, I’m sure he was going to tell me even if I didn’t exactly care to know.
“Blood Ridge?” I questioned, my arms crossed across my chest as I approached his sitting form and stood beside him to wait for his response.
“Seems like Nietzsche wasn’t totally blowing smoke out of his ass when he said that whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster -”
“And if you gaze long enough into the abyss, the abyss will gaze back at you. What does Nietzsche have to do with Blood Ridge?” I cut him off by finishing the Friedrich Nietzsche quote he was referring to.
“Well I’m so glad you asked Aurora…” He started as he pulled up a replay of Rick and I’s interaction with Birdperson after the Battle had been won. I watched the playback intently, hoping to see something within my own memory that maybe I hadn’t noticed before in order to try to put together a theory of where exactly Prime was going with this. 
-Playback from ‘Aurora’s Memory’ initiated-
Memory Rick: “Damn that shit was cash.”
Bird Person: “It was extremely bad ass. The Battle of Blood Ridge is over. The Federation lost. I am in your debt.”
Memory Rick: “Come with us.”
Bird Person: “To somewhere…nearby?”
Memory Rick: “Anywhere. E-Everywhere.”
Bird Person: “Rick, Aurora, I don't expect you guys to keep fighting, but this war is…”
Aurora: “Far from over…we know.”
Memory Rick: “Dude, we share this with almost nobody, but we could take you right now to this same battlefield, in a universe where we lost, or another where we won, or another where the war never even happened. All equally real, all equally unreal. None of it matters.”
Bird Person: “Then why did you help?”
Memory Rick: “Because I respect you. And I wanted you to know you could respect me.”
Bird Person: “Even though nothing matters?”
Memory Rick: “Okay. You matter... to me.”
Bird Person: “Uh, the relationship that we have…”
Memory Rick: “I NEVER used that word!”
Bird Person: “... is not worth my integrity…”
Memory Rick: “Oh, my God. It's not a complicated transaction, my man. "Would you like to join me doing awesome shit that matters?" "No, I would not. I would rather be a judgmental dork." Case closed. Really no need to drag it out.”
Bird Person: “If you need me, use the beacon.”
Memory Rick: “Yeah, I'm gonna use that beacon a lot. I hope... hope I don't wear it out. Come on Aurora, lets get the fuck out of here.”
—- Playback Finalized —--
“Okay, so what exactly does my memory of Bird Person rejecting my Rick have anything to do with you?”
“Seems allegorical in relation to how Diane died don’t you think? His rejection of me, Bird Person’s rejection of him, you either die a hero or see yourself live long enough to become the villain.” 
“Are you trying to suggest to me that my Rick has essentially turned into you? I hope you’re not because that would be absolutely nonsensical.”
“You see Aurora, your Rick isn’t all he’s cracked up to be either. He’s murdered hundreds if not thousands of innocent Ricks, he’s manipulated a version of our adult daughter to get a divorce, he sells weapons to hit men and other criminals, he Cronenberged my original dimension and left my daughter, my granddaughter and my Jerry behind to rot in a world that he ruined, he exploited and threatened to destroy a microverse that he created to control his fucking car, and the worst possible one he trapped all the people in his original reality into an endless mental time loop while their bodies still grew old. Your Rick isn’t and never was the saint you believe him to be - so why hate me for something so small in the grand scheme of things?”
“You’re literally the reason why he did most of that. I don’t think my Rick is a saint, I think he’s a sad, broken man who is trying his best to continue on in his life after losing the very thing he used to live for. What makes my Rick so different from you is his capability to feel and connect to human emotion - his wild callousness is just a front so he doesn’t have to feel the pain his life radiates. He has surpassed you in so many ways, but he will NEVER be the monster you are because he is capable of changing. You know nothing about him and even sitting here under the guise that you do is ridiculous. You will never be him and he will NEVER be you.”
“You’d defend him even if he was the one who killed your husband wouldn’t you?”
“My husband died because you killed Diane - because you accidentally created X-258 where my husband was killed in a freak fucking accident. To even insinuate such an asinine thought is in bad taste even for you. If anything, you’d be indirectly responsible for the death of my husband, big fucking shocker there.” 
“How would your husband feel if he knew you gave up on him to be with Rick?”
“My husband has been gone for 25 years, Prime and I loved him dearly when he was alive, but Rick, my Rick, is the love of my life. I don’t have to explain ‘love’ to you especially because you are literally incapable of ever fucking getting it. Killing your wife across infinity because some alternate versions of yourself pissed you off? The mother of your daughter - you have some fucking nerve.”
I was angry now, my words slicing into Prime’s direction like a knife and he was clearly getting upset with my tone towards him. I don’t know exactly what his end goal with me was - he had my blood and tissue samples, he had my brain scans. Why not just let me go or kill me if he got what he had said he wanted? Then it hit me. Prime was in love with me. A man that I had labeled as so incapable of feeling had some sort of feelings for me - what a fucking mind fuck that was to take in. I had made myself speechless as I waited patiently for him to say something to either confirm or deny my theory, but he said nothing so I spoke once more.
“You love me, don’t you? You have feelings for me.”
His silence after I said that was deafening and he quickly stood up from his place in his chair to grab my face in his hands roughly and smash his lips to mine. I knew it. He kissed me so roughly that I barely even had time to react, but once I was finally able to comprehend what was happening, I deepened the kiss. I was actually enjoying this despite how fucking wrong my moral compass knew that it was. He pulled away from me gently, his blue eyes looking me dead in mine before he said in a very demanding, yet hot, tone;
“Strip for me.”
And I did exactly as I was told.
—----------
 His hand bent around the curvature of my neck brushing it softly as he continued to walk around me٫ his other hand finding my breasts and taking a nipple into his free hand subtly. He rubbed the nub between his thumb and forefinger as he continued to eye me up and down with an obvious hunger in his eyes٫ his other hand snaking down my body slowly till it found rest on my hip gently pulling me to him as he did so. 
“You are so beautiful.” He whispered٫ his eyes glued to my chest as he spoke eloquently.
He was still fully clothed٫ but I was determined to change that - I reached forward and begun unzipping his jacket٫ him allowing it to fall to the floor as I pushed it off his shoulders. I found the hem of his long sleeve next٫ my hands creeping slowly underneath to touch his warm skin and my god his skin felt like I was touching pure electricity the more my fingers danced over his adorable blue happy trail to find a home on his belt buckle. I began undoing it roughly٫ pulling his belt through the loops in his jeans and throwing it elsewhere. I unbuttoned his jeans with my hands٫ quickly slipping my fingers under the waistband of his boxers where I longed to have his dick pressed up against any part of me.
I smirked up at him as I pulled him even closer to my naked body٫ his hands wrapping around me in all the right ways as I felt his extremely hard member pressing into one my thighs now. The length and the girth simply drove me insane as I continued to work diligently to undress him. He suddenly grabbed the back of my head with enough force to crash my lips to his٫ our lips melding together perfectly and I couldn’t help٫ but let out a small moan in favor of his wicked foreplay. The more he touched and teased me٫ the more I desperately wanted to beg him to just destroy me right there. I was so fucked. Fucking Prime. What was I doing? At this point I was too far gone to care - I wanted him and I wanted him BAD.
  I pushed his black jeans down past his jutted hip-bones٫ them falling down his tall stature to pool at his feet before he stepped out of them and led me back up against the wall. His fingers left my breasts٫ trailing down until they reached the very top of my mound - him allowing a single digit to pass between my folds to feel the abundance of wetness that I had increasing with each moment between my legs. 
“So wet for me already٫ such a horny girl for any Rick aren’t you?” He licked his lips as he pulled away from mine to speak٫ him looking me dead in the eyes as he said that - the lust obvious in his gorgeous icy blue eyes. 
“You have no idea how much I long for you to absolutely destroy me.” I whispered back٫ my fingers grappling the side of his boxers before pushing them off of him in one swift motion that now left him vulnerable and naked in front of me like I had been this entire time and ugh was it so worth the wait. 
Prime had so many scars littering his whole body٫ adding a sense of mystery and a hot toughness to his already sexy body. I felt guilty that I was about to do this٫ but he was still a Rick whether he was evil or not and holy fuck did his extreme callousness and his “I don’t give a single fuck” attitude turn me on even more. I was like putty in Prime’s hands right now and he was loving it. 
“I think I have a pretty good concept٫ but you have no idea how fucking gorgeous you are. If I could٫ I would put you on display so that everyone could see me destroy a perfect little pussy like yours. Holy fuck.” 
“You want to fuck me in front of spectators?”
“I want them to revel in jealousy over how I get to be buried in a perfect little thing like you.”
“They should be jealous of me too٫ getting to be a good little cock sleeve for your perfect and massive cock. I love the way you feel pressed against my thigh right now٫ I almost can’t fucking take it.” I whispered in his ear٫ rolling my hips so that I brushed myself up against his rock hard penis - it almost jumping after me over the sudden sensation. 
“Mmm what a good girl٫ stroking daddy Prime’s ego. I think it's high time I reward you for such good and filthy behavior.” 
He grabbed me harshly by the hips and lifted me till I was straddling his waist with my back up against the wall as he placed himself at my entrance. He parted me gently with the head of his dick before slamming into me so aggressively that I cried out as I felt him ram into my cervix hard as he stroked my g-spot on the way there.
“Oh my god.” I panted٫ holding on to him with a death grip around his neck and my fingers tangling in his powder blue hair as he continued to thrust up into me skillfully. 
“That’s right darling٫ I am your god.” He said٫ his lips attacking my neck and jawline with an abundance of sloppy kisses - him using his teeth to mark me however he wanted. The sweet feeling of the slight pain driving me crazy as I held onto him tighter - slowly rocking my hips in tandem with his getting a small moan from him in return as I bounced on his cock dexterously.
“It’s like universe literally created you just for me٫ the way your pussy just grips the absolute fuck out of my dick. Fuuck Aurora٫ no fucking wonder why “wife guy” is so obsessed with you٫ you take dick like a fucking champ.” 
“It's not hard when Rick’s have such dynamite dick game - I’ve never ever been disappointed by a Rick sexually.” I purred٫ gripping tufts of his hair and pulling hard enough to hear him moan against my skin. 
“Is that so, mmm you were so worth the wait.”
“I want you to come in me so hard that you see fucking stars, baby.” I growled in his ear as he continued to fuck me hard up against the wall, one of arms on the side of me bracing himself and his other hand was wrapped around my neck holding me to the wall tightly. I hadn’t noticed before now, but his ‘6,5” frame had me up in the air so high, holy shit - I felt like I was practically floating off of the ground at this moment. Damn the sex was good. 
He soon moved his arm against the wall in order to place his long, lanky fingers on my clit, abusing the nub gently as he continued to go in and out of me. He was watching his dick as he pumped his hips, a smirk plastered on his handsome face as he was enjoying watching his dick disappear inside of me with each thrust. I was moaning loudly now, thankful that we were basically in the middle of nowhere in space because I could have probably awoken a whole cemetery.
“That’s it baby, come for me.”
I could feel that he was close and my eyesight was starting to get blurry the faster his fingers worked to bring me closer to my own climax. 
“Oh my god - Prime - I’m - ahhhhhh Rick.” I moaned out as he pushed me over the edge, my pussy pulsating around his dick as he also released into me, burying his face into my shoulder as we rode out the highs of our climaxes together. Both of us sweaty messes as we tried diligently to try and catch our breaths from that  absolutely intense workout we had just finished.
Fuck. I seriously just fucked Rick Prime. Fuck. 
What had I done?
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03jyh23 · 27 days
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— i'm not afraid anymore || choi jongho (part one of finding our way back series)
<series masterlist> <next part>
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ex-boyfriend!idol!jongho x ex-girlfriend!single-mom!reader
synopsis: reuniting after years of being apart, you reveal to Jongho that he is the father of your four-year-old daughter
genre: angst, a slice of life, a bit of fluff
trigger warnings: unplanned pregnancy, single parenthood, financial problems mentioned, emotional conflict, intense discussions about parenthood and relationships
words: 12.8 k
reminder: what you're about to read is purely fiction, so let's keep it separate from reality.
!minors do not interact!
— hi there! so it's finally out 😭😭😭 i kept you waiting long enough, didn't i? so, i once again wrote about parenthood... i'm sure some of you expected this story to go in a whole other direction, but i still hope this is a nice surprise! i wanted to dedicate this one to @jjongbearshoney, who's been waiting for it since the first part was posted. i know it's long and i've tried to make this part shorter, but i couldn't force myself to delete any of it. i'm hopeful some of you will still choose to read this.
love, monika. ♡
if you enjoyed this post, i'd be so grateful for a little love – a like, reblog or comment would truly make my day!
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you
"Mommy?" Your daughter tightened her grip on your hand as you walked home from preschool. You hummed in response, looking down at her. "Why is it just you and me?" she asked, furrowing her brow. 
"What do you mean, Nari?" your daughter paused; her big eyes filled with fear. "You know you can tell Mommy everything," you added when she hesitated.
"Why don't I have a dad like my friends?" she finally asked. Your heart dropped. You knew this day would come when Nari would start comparing her family to others, but you were unprepared for the moment. You had never discussed Jongho with Nari; the last thing you wanted was for her to hate him for his absence. She had never asked before, so you had hoped that the time would never come when she would become curious about her dad. But as she grew older and started to understand the world around her, you knew that this question was inevitable. 
What you did instead of talking about Jongho, you introduced Nari to ATEEZ. Since she was little, you would play their songs, and she grew up dancing in your arms to them. You two would spend time together, sitting in front of the television and watching their shows. With every episode, every song, and every interview, her admiration for the band continued to grow. It was a shared experience, one that brought you both closer together, and her love for the band grew right along with her. What made everything better was that Nari's favorite member of ATEEZ was Wooyoung. You couldn't help but think about how disappointed Jongho would be if he ever found out. His own daughter had chosen another member as her favorite. It was a thought that often brought a smile to your face.
You never once resented Jongho for choosing his music career over you. You understood that he was born to be on stage, to pour his soul into his music. Your heart was shattered when you two parted ways, but then you discovered you were pregnant with Nari. You knew then that you had to be strong and that you had to be the best mom possible for her. It was challenging, especially when she was born and bore such a striking resemblance to Jongho. It played with your emotions sometimes. 
You knelt to meet her gaze. Her round face, sweet cheeks, and hazel-brown eyes each time reminded you of the man you once loved. 
"Nari, your daddy is really busy," you began, unsure of how to continue the conversation. "But Mommy is sure he loves you very much," you reassured as you smoothed her hair, attempting to smile. "I know your friends' daddies are around." You tried to keep your voice steady, swallowing the lump in your throat. "Just because he's not here, doesn't mean he doesn't love you," you told her, seeking to comfort both her and you. 
With a certain sadness in her eyes, she expressed her wishes, "I'd really like it if he wasn’t so busy all the time," she complained. As she pouted, a wave of empathy washed over you, causing your heart to break for her. 
"I know, baby," you whispered, your voice barely audible as you fought to control the emotion threatening to overwhelm you. "Do you want me to tell you more about your daddy?" you asked softly, ready to share the stories of you two. Nari nodded, and a smile finally appeared on her pretty face. ‘’Alright so we will buy you your favorite ice cream and you can ask whatever you want, how does this sound?’’ Without uttering a word, Nari gently nodded and stretched out her hand towards you. Accepting her silent invitation, you felt the warmth of her delicate fingers in yours. As you walked hand in hand, you could see the excitement in her eyes as she pulled you in the direction of her most adored destination - her favorite local ice cream store. 
Entering the store, you ordered the ice cream and chose a seat next to the window. A sense of nervousness washed over you at the thought of speaking so openly about Jongho after all those years. But you knew deep down, it was time to face it. You took a deep breath, staring out the window as you waited for your order. The streets were busy with people going about their day. The ice cream arrived, a sweet distraction, but it did nothing to quell the anxiety churning in your stomach. You picked up your spoon and took the first bite, letting the familiar taste flood your senses. 
"Tell Mommy, what do you want to know?" you finally asked, breaking the silence that had fallen over the small store. You held your breath, waiting for her reply, bracing yourself for the questions that were bound to come from your curious four-year-old. Nari thought for a moment, her small brow furrowing in concentration. 
"Everything," she finally said, her voice soft, eyes sparkling with curiosity. "I want to know everything." You chuckled at her response; it was moments like these that made motherhood such an incredible journey. You took her small hand in yours, 
"I met your dad at a coffee shop," you started, your voice filled with nostalgia."It was a warm summer afternoon, just like today. He walked in, and when I saw him, it was as if time had stopped for that moment." 
Nari was thoroughly enjoying her lemon ice cream as she continued to savor her treat, she curiously glanced over at you. She wondered if her dad also shared her love for this dessert. With a playful smile still smeared on her ice cream-covered lips, she asked, "Did he order ice cream?" 
You giggled at her question, "No, I think he ordered an iced americano." You remember the day as if it was yesterday. Jongho had ordered and chose to sit at the furthest table possible. You were sitting close to the cash desk, stealing glances at him sometimes, admiring him. He was writing something in a big notebook, so engrossed that he didn't hear the barista calling him to pick up his order. So, you decided to test your luck and brought his coffee to him. As you approached him, your heart pounded in your chest. It was as though you could hear it echoing throughout the quiet café. You set the coffee down gently on his table, not wanting to disturb his concentration. Startled, he looked up and locked eyes with you. His eyes were warm and inviting, a soft 'thank you' escaping his lips. You returned the sentiment with a shy smile, not trusting yourself to say anything. 
"Why would he order coffee when he could have an ice cream?" Nari asked, finding it strange that someone would choose coffee over ice cream. 
"Your dad is a little bit different, Nari," you said, smiling gently. "He really loved his coffee. He said it helped him think and focus. But don't worry, he loved ice cream too. Just like you, he had a sweet tooth." 
"Will Daddy buy me ice cream next time?" she asked as she was finishing her dessert. 
"I'm sure he would love to," you replied, smiling at her. "One day, if he's not too busy, I'm sure he'll take you to get ice cream. Would you like that?" Nari nodded eagerly, her eyes lighting up at the prospect. Just the thought of spending a day with her dad made her heart flutter with joy. You knew what needed to happen next. You had to create an opportunity for her to meet Jongho. Even though it might hurt, Nari should meet her dad at least once. Her happiness was most important. You knew you needed to put your own feelings aside for her. This next step might be hard and painful, but as her mom, you knew it was what you should do. 
"Then Mommy will make sure Daddy will take you next time," you promised, your heart aching at the hopeful look in her eyes. You would do whatever it took to give her the happiness she deserved. 
On your way back home, you felt a sense of relief wash over you. This heartfelt conversation with Nari had helped clear your mind. Finally talking about the man, you loved brought you a strange sense of nostalgia, yet you also felt content. After all these years, you have finally been able to share your story, your feelings, and your past with your daughter. It was as if a burden you didn’t even know you were carrying had been lifted from your shoulders. The walk home was peaceful, the cool evening breeze brushing against your face as the last rays of the setting sun painted the sky in hues of pink and orange. 
In no time, you reached your apartment complex. Nari was running around the playground with the neighbor's puppy chasing after her. She was the sweetest creature. She was fascinated by the world, loved animals, and her soul was just so pure. You felt an immense amount of happiness to be her mom. 
"Grandma!" Nari exclaimed, her face lighting up with sheer joy the moment she spied her grandma approaching from a distance. Upon arrival, your mother warmly greeted Nari with a tender embrace. After a moment, they both made their way over to where you were standing. You were taken aback, surprised to see your mother in your presence without any prior notice. 
With a puzzled expression, you turned towards her and asked, "Mom, why didn't you tell me you were coming?" 
"I wanted to see you and Nari," your mother admitted, her voice warm. You could see the sincerity in her eyes. You could feel the lump forming in your throat as you listened to her. It was a comforting reassurance, knowing you weren't alone in this. "And I hoped I would be welcomed for dinner," she said with a playful tone in her voice while gently placing Nari on the ground. A glint of laughter shone in her eyes.
"Absolutely," you responded, your smile wide and welcoming. The sincerity in your voice was enough to assure her that the invitation was genuine. You reached down and took one of Nari's small hands in yours, feeling the softness of her tiny fingers against your palm. Your mom mirrored your action, reaching for Nari's other hand, her fingers wrapping around the little one's hand with a natural gentleness. For a moment, the three of you stood there, a small, connected chain, silent and content in each other's company. Then, with Nari's laughter filling the air around you, you all began to move, making your way to your small apartment. The moment was simple, yet filled with a warmth that spoke of familiarity, of home. 
You finally reached your floor and stepped into the comforting familiarity of your apartment. As the door closed behind you, a wave of relief washed over you. This was your sanctuary, your escape from the hustle and bustle of the outside world. Your apartment was small, with one room occupied by Nari, and a combined living room and kitchen where you also slept. The bathroom was big enough to fit a bathtub and a washing machine. It was far from perfect, but nobody truly knows how hard it is to be a single mom, barely making ends meet, especially when you were still so young. Sometimes, you felt ashamed of the way you lived your life, as you wanted Nari to grow up in a better place, a home with a beautiful garden and a seesaw. But you could barely afford this apartment, buying a new house was never an option. So, you took a lot of care to ensure that your apartment was always neat and clean. Every item had its own place, and there was a sense of order and tranquility that pervaded the space. 
You found Nari, tired yet excited from the day's activities, eagerly awaiting your attention. With gentle hands and a warm smile, you took her to her room and helped her change into more comfortable clothes. Nari’s room was everything she had ever dreamed of. It was her own little wonderland that mirrored her innocent dreams and youthful enthusiasm. All her favorite toys were thoughtfully displayed around the room, adding to its charm and making it a truly magical place for her. The toys ranged from dolls to action figures, to stuffed animals, each one with its own special place in Nari’s heart. The most striking feature of the room was her small bed, adorned with a beautiful canopy. This bed was more than just a place for her to rest; it was her castle, her secret hideout. It was here that Nari would sleep like a real princess, after a day full of adventures and playful activities. Guarding her while she slept were her loyal teddy bears. These soft and cuddly guardians were always there by her side, watching over her. They were not just toys, but her friends, and protectors. Nari even made you print out a picture of Wooyoung, which she lovingly framed and placed on her tiny desk. It became her most prized possession. Every detail in the room reflected Nari’s personality and vivid imagination, making it a perfect haven for her. 
As Nari settled down, you decided to play her favorite Disney movie. The familiar tunes filled the room, and Nari's eyes lit up at the sight of her beloved characters. While Nari was engrossed in her movie, you made your way to the kitchen. Your mom has already started preparing your meal. The sight of her working her magic in the kitchen, coupled with the tantalizing smells, made your stomach rumble in anticipation. 
"So, Nari asked about her dad today," you started, your voice barely above a whisper. As the words left your mouth, your mother froze in her place. Her eyes met yours, a mix of surprise and concern in her gaze. The room fell silent, the only sound being the sizzle from the pan on the stove. "Mom, I feel lost. I don't know what to do," you confessed, your voice trembling with uncertainty. 
"Do you want them to meet, honey?" your mom asked. Her gaze was steady, her eyes never leaving yours. She was searching for an answer, not just in your words, but also in your expression. There was a hint of concern in her voice which was understandable. After all, it was a significant moment, a decision that could change the dynamics of everything. You hesitated for a moment, weighing the possibilities in your mind. You could feel your mom's expectant gaze on you, and it somehow made the decision harder. 
After what felt like an eternity, you finally spoke. "Yes, mom. I want them to meet." Your voice was firm, but inside, you were bracing yourself for the changes that were about to come. Your worlds were about to collide, your secrets were about to unravel, and you could only hope that in the end, everything would fall into place. "But I don't want him to know that Nari is his," you admitted shyly. There was a moment of silence as you pondered over your words.
"Honey, I know you might be scared, but I believe it's high time he found out the truth," she said, her voice softer now, yet resolute and unwavering. She cast a glance down at her hands, her fingers intertwined, and when she looked up at you again, there was a raw determination in her eyes that you hadn't seen before. "He needs to know that he has a daughter. That he's a father. It's not just about you anymore, it's also about Nari. She will be 4 soon and deserves to know her father. It's time for you to step up and let him in on the reality of his situation." 
"I'm not going to tell him, Mom," you replied firmly, your resolve clear in your tone. "I wouldn't risk Jongho's career like that," you said, speaking more to yourself than your mother. "I was prepared to spend a lifetime without him knowing the truth." Despite the fear and uncertainty, a sense of resolve washed over you. Your mom sighed heavily; you know it wasn’t the response she wanted to hear. 
"Even if you somehow end up meeting him, do you think he's stupid?" she asked abruptly. Her question was unexpected, and it caught you off guard. 
"What do you mean?" you responded, taken aback by the sudden change in her tone and line of questioning. 
"One look at Nari, and he's going to know the truth!" she exclaimed, her voice filled with conviction. "Nari looks exactly like him!" your mom slightly raised her voice. "I have never seen Jongho with my own eyes, but even if my judgment is based only on how he looks on TV… Honey, her eyes, her smile... they are all his," she continued, the room fell silent, you were lost in your own thoughts. You knew that the resemblance was not just physical, Nari had also inherited his mannerisms and charisma. 
"I... I hadn't thought of that," you admitted, feeling a sudden knot tighten in your stomach. The realization that Jongho could easily figure out the truth was alarming. "I'll figure something out, Mom. I promise." You said, trying to reassure her despite the sinking feeling in your chest. 
"If you don't have his phone number, maybe you should contact his company?" your mother suggested, her voice filled with concern. You stared at her, aghast at her suggestion. 
"Mom, are you crazy? That's the last thing I'd want to do," you retorted, shaking your head at the absurdity of the idea. 
Your mother's eyebrows rose in surprise at your response. "Well, I was just trying to help," she said, a hint of hurt in her voice. 
You sighed, regretting your harsh words. "I know, Mom. I'm sorry. It's just... complicated," you admitted, rubbing your temples. The last thing you wanted was to involve his company in this matter. 
"Let's just try to find another way, okay?" you suggested, hoping to steer the conversation toward a more productive direction. You focused on the task at hand, the act of cooking providing a much-needed distraction from the whirlpool of thoughts threatening to consume you. Each chop and stir was mechanical, your mind elsewhere. You were desperate to find a way to let Nari meet Jongho but figuring out how to do that without jeopardizing his career or causing a scandal was proving to be more difficult than you had initially anticipated. 
After dinner, you helped Nari with her bedtime routine. Meanwhile, your mom was busy cleaning up after dinner. While assisting Nari, you could hear running water from the kitchen and clinking dishes being put away. With Nari finally tucked in, you joined your mom in the kitchen to lend a hand. The teamwork made the task lighter, and the kitchen was soon spotless. 
"Take her to his concert, you could buy a VIP ticket so you two could meet him." your mom suddenly broke the silence between you two. You looked up at her in surprise. A concert? The idea was so far-fetched that you couldn't help but laugh. But as you glanced at your mother, you realized she was serious. "Think about it. She gets to see her dad and you don’t have to say anything," she suggested, the idea not sounding as ridiculous now. It might work. And then, you could see how he reacts to Nari. If he shows any sign of recognition, you could consider telling him the truth. Yes, it might just work."Besides, we know how much she loves her 'Uncle' Wooyoung, and I'm sure she would be so happy to go and see him live," your mom added. 
"That idea isn't bad, Mom, but do you know how expensive the tickets are? There's no way I can afford two," you replied, worry evident in your voice. Concert tickets, especially for a band as popular as ATEEZ, could be incredibly pricey. You were doing your best to provide for Nari, but luxuries like concert tickets were simply out of your reach. 
"What if I will get you the tickets?" your mom asked. You stared at her, shocked by her proposition. Your mom rarely splurged on anything, always preferring to save for a rainy day. Seeing your surprise, she laughed. "I know it seems out of character for me, but I want to do this for you and Nari. I want her to have this experience, and maybe it will lead to something more." She gave you a hopeful smile, her eyes filled with love and determination. 
"Mom, I can't ask you for so much…" you protested, feeling a pang of guilt at the thought of your mother paying for the tickets. "It's too much." But your mom was already shaking her head, cutting off your protest. 
"This isn't about money, it's about Nari," she said firmly. "And if this gives her a chance to meet her father, then it's worth every penny." You could see the determination in her eyes, and you knew there was no point in arguing. She had made up her mind, and when she did, there was no changing it. 
"Okay," you finally agreed, knowing that this was the best chance Nari had to meet Jongho. "Thank you, Mom." She simply nodded, her eyes filled with a mix of relief and satisfaction. You realized then that despite everything, your mom was still looking out for you. She was still willing to do anything to make sure you and Nari were happy. Your heart pounded in your chest as you took your phone in your hands, searching for ATEEZ events. You scrolled through the results, your eyes skimming the details. Suddenly, one specific event caught your attention. It was a free event, happening in just two days. You gasped, your eyes widening in surprise. A free event? 
"Mom? I think we hit a jackpot," you smiled, as you showed your mom your phone. 
"A free event?" she exclaimed, happily clapping her hands. You were taken aback by her reaction but couldn't help but share in her excitement. You hugged her tightly, her happiness radiating onto you. You picked up your phone once again, and quickly booked the free tickets. With a deep sigh, you turned to your mother, gently taking her hands in yours.
"I'm going to see him, Mom," you whispered softly. The words hung heavy in the air, a mix of fear, anticipation, and longing. It was as if all the pent-up emotions you had been holding back came flooding out at that moment. Tears finally began to stream down your face, unabashed and unhindered. They traced wet tracks on your cheeks, a poignant testament to the heartfelt emotions you were experiencing. It was a cathartic release that revealed your true feelings. Your heart ached with a desperate longing, a yearning that had been simmering underneath the surface all this time. The lump in your throat eased, replaced with a strange sense of tranquility. All the nervousness, the apprehension that had been your constant companion, seemed to have evaporated. It was as if acknowledging your feelings had liberated you from their hold, allowing you to finally breathe. The realization hit you then, sudden and profound. You were going to see Jongho, the man you had loved with all your heart, once more. The thought brought a twinge of excitement, a dash of fear, and a whole lot of love. It was a second chance, a final goodbye, a moment you knew you would remember for the rest of your life. 
Two days have passed like two hours. It felt like you had just blinked and suddenly, you were standing with Nari, hand in hand, in a line buzzing with anticipation. You were nervous, your heart pounding in your chest. Nari, on the other hand, was brimming with excitement. She was bubbling with joy at the prospect of seeing her 'Uncle' Wooyoung, blissfully unaware of the real reason you were both there. The line moved forward gradually and with each step, your heart pounded harder. You glanced at Nari, who was chatting away excitedly about all the fun things she'd do with Wooyoung. Her innocence and cheerfulness were infectious, easing your nerves slightly. As you got closer to the front of the line, you could see ATEEZ up ahead, their warm smiles greeting each fan. 
And then you saw Jongho, being the second to last, signing an album and holding a fan's hand while he did so. His focus was entirely on the task at hand, his brows slightly furrowed in concentration. He would occasionally look up to make eye contact with the fan, offering them a warm smile. It was as though your world had stopped. Your breath caught in your throat, your heart pounding as if it were trying to escape from your chest. It had been almost five years since you last saw him. He had changed - his face was more mature, his eyes held a deeper wisdom, and the lines of his smile seemed to tell stories you weren't a part of. Yet, amidst all the changes, he was still the same Jongho you remembered, the same Jongho you had fallen for. The distance and the years that had passed had not made your heart forget. The sight of him brought back a flood of memories, some sweet, some bitter, but all precious. Standing there, seeing him after all this time, you realized – you were not afraid anymore. You were ready to face him, ready to face the past. 
When it was finally your turn, you gently nudged Nari forward. Her face lit up when she saw Wooyoung. She quickly seated herself in a chair across from the table where he was sitting. Then, she stood on the chair, stepped onto the table, and her hands swiftly found their way around Wooyoung's neck. Wooyoung was startled at first, taken aback by Nari's sudden, enthusiastic hug. You were shocked too, having no time to react to Nari's swift actions. But your breath hitched when Wooyoung recovered from his initial surprise and smiled, hugging Nari back. The atmosphere quickly filled with warmth as Wooyoung returned Nari's hug with equal affection. The surprise on his face was replaced by a soft smile, his arms wrapping around her in a comforting embrace. You watched this heartfelt moment unfold, your heart fluttering in your chest. The shock from earlier had completely dissipated, replaced by a sense of relief and happiness. It was clear to you that despite the abruptness of Nari's actions, Wooyoung was happy to hug her back. 
"Hi there, little one," he greeted with a warm smile on his face. 
"Uncle Wooyoung!" Nari responded kindly, her laughter tinkling in the air as she beamed back at him. The sight was enough to melt your heart. However, your moment of joy was short-lived as you noticed the stern look from the security guard. His gaze was fixed on your daughter, clearly annoyed with her actions. Although you understood his perspective, it was hard to stop a child from being excited in such moments. You quickly intervened, trying to maintain the peace. You gently took Nari from Wooyoung's warm embrace and brought her back to her chair. She pouted a little, clearly not happy about being moved away from her favorite person. 
"I'm sorry," you apologized, turning to face Wooyoung. Wooyoung simply shook his head and laughed, clearly not bothered by what had just happened.
"It's okay," he said, his voice filled with understanding. You handed him the album that you had brought along, as he took it from your hands to sign it, Nari put her small hand on top of Wooyoung’s. 
"My name is Nari," she said, a soft yet firm assertion that hung in the air between them. Her gaze was unwavering, locked onto his face as if searching for something within him, something perhaps only she could see. After signing the album, Wooyoung handed it back to you. 
"It was nice to meet you, Nari," he said, a genuine smile as he gently patted Nari's hair. 
"Nari, it's time to go," you softly announced, lifting the small girl into your arms, there were still other members of the band you had yet to meet. Nari, however, was not so ready to move on. She pouted adorably; her full attention still fixed on Wooyoung. 
"I love you, Uncle Wooyoung," she declared, her innocent eyes wide and shimmering with admiration. Every word she spoke was filled with the pure, unfiltered affection that only a child could muster. Wooyoung, for his part, responded with an equal measure of warmth. His eyes softened at her words, a tender smile playing at the corners of his lips. He cooed at her cuteness; his heart clearly touched by her innocent proclamation. 
"I love you too, Nari," he replied, his voice filled with genuine affection. He waved back at her, his smile never faltering even as the next fan made their approach. As you moved away, you felt a sense of anticipation bubbling up within you. You were ready to introduce Nari to the rest of the band, ready to create more beautiful memories. Nari was thrilled to meet the other band members. Perhaps not as much as she was when she met Wooyoung, but she still charmed each and every one of them with her delightful spirit. Seonghwa, Mingi, Yunho, Yeosang, and San were all absolutely enchanted by their little fan, their hearts melting at the sight of her infectious joy. 
Then, it was time to face Jongho. As you approached him, your heartbeat echoed loudly in your ears. A lump formed in your throat, making it difficult to breathe. The world seemed to come to a standstill as you stood before him. His familiar eyes met yours, and in that moment, everything else faded into insignificance. 
"Hi…" The word was barely more than an apprehensive whisper, escaping from Jonhgo's lips. His gaze was fixed on you, a whirlpool of emotions swirling within his eyes. It had been almost five years since he had last seen you. Yet, as he looked at you now, it was as if time had stood still. You were still as beautiful, if not more, as the last time he saw you. Your enchanting smile and the mesmerizing glint in your eyes had the power to make his heart stutter within his chest. 
"I'm sorry to be showing up like this," you said, your voice carrying the weight of your uncertainty. You had rehearsed this moment countless times in your head, and yet now, standing in front of him, the words seemed to escape you. You sat down on the chair, passing him the album. 
"It’s fine… it’s so good to see you," Jongho responded, each word punctuated with sincerity. At that moment, he felt as if the world around him had melted away. All that mattered was you. His eyes were lost in yours, completely oblivious to the world around him. It was as if an invisible thread was pulling him towards you, making him oblivious to everything else. 
"I just…" you started, the words hanging in the air. But before you could give them shape, a small voice chimed in. 
‘’Hi Uncle Jongho! You are my Mommy's favourite’’ Nari greeted him with a wide grin spreading across her face, she cautiously yet excitedly maneuvered herself into your lap. Her eyes sparkled with uncontained joy as she looked up, her gaze meeting Jongho's, who was across the table, her smile growing even wider, if that was possible, at the sight of him. 
"Hi, little one! Well, your mom has great taste!" Jongho responded, his words laced with surprise. He hadn't expected this. 
"I really like your songs," the little girl confessed with an earnest expression. "Mommy told me that you're a good person and that we could be friends." The words hit Jongho like a punch in the gut. The realization that you had a daughter began to dawn on him. He quickly glanced at your fingers, searching for a wedding ring, but found none. Jongho's heart sank as a lump formed in his throat, his mind racing to piece together the puzzle before him. You weren't married, nor engaged, and the little girl nestled on your lap couldn't have been more than four years old. It didn't take long for him to make the connection— you must have been pregnant five years ago, and five years ago you were his. 
"I’m sure we will be great friends," Jongho replied, trying to keep his voice steady. His gaze never left yours, even as he addressed Nari. Jongho's eyes slowly drifted away from yours, lingering for a moment before he turned to look at Nari. He took his time, observing her closely. There was something about her that caught his attention. He couldn't help but see the resemblance - something in the way her eyes sparkled, the curve of her smile. As you were sitting with Nari in your lap, you couldn't help but notice Jongho's gaze fixed on her. His eyes were filled with adoration and curiosity, something that you found endearing. Gently, you shifted Nari off your lap. You took her small hand in yours, 
"Nari," you started, your voice as soft as a whisper, careful not to disrupt the lively chatter around you. Her big, innocent eyes looked up at you, her attention completely focused on you. "Would you wait for me next to the last uncle's table?" you asked her. Your tone was gentle, Nari simply nodded, her trust in you evident. She didn't ask why, didn't protest, she trotted off, her steps small and careful. Jongho's gaze was still on her, his eyes filled with the same adoration as before. The sight warmed your heart, solidifying the beautiful moment in your memory. 
"Is she mine?" The question was out in the open before he could stop himself. Jongho’s heart was pounding against his ribcage, and his hands were trembling, but he couldn't ignore the uncanny resemblance. 
"Jongho I…" you started but were quickly interrupted by Jongho's direct question. 
"She's mine, isn't she?" you feel your cheeks flush as you investigate Jongho's eyes, unsure of how to respond. Your heart beats faster as you gather the courage to answer him. 
"She's yours, Jongho," you finally admitted, the truth coming out in a whisper. All the color drained from his face at your words. He was a father. He had a daughter. His mind was reeling, struggling to process the enormity of what he had just learned. "I found out a month after we broke up" you confessed, your words barely a whisper. The weight of your words was almost too much to bear, and you found it impossible to meet his intense gaze. 
"Y/N, you know I can’t..." Jongho began, his voice was heavy with unspoken emotions. His hand, almost as if guided by an unseen force, reached out for you in a gesture of comfort and longing. 
"I just wanted her... our little girl, to see her dad, to meet you, at least once in her lifetime," you admitted, your voice shaking with the effort of holding back the torrent of tears threatening to spill. "I don’t expect anything in return." Jongho simply stared at you in silence, his expression unreadable. His gaze was intense, almost as if he was trying to read your thoughts. 
"I'll need some time to process this," he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper. The silence that followed was deafening, the tension in the air palpable. But for the first time in years, you felt a sense of relief wash over you. The truth was finally out, and despite the complexity of the situation, you felt a strange sense of peace. 
"I understand, Jongho, I don't expect anything form you," you replied, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. You knew this was a lot for him to take in. It wasn't easy for you either, but you were glad that he now knew about Nari. 
"Hey Nari!" You heard Jongho's voice asking for your daughter's attention. "Wouldn't you give me a hug?" Nari, who had been watching the exchange from a distance, hesitated for a moment before making her way towards Jongho. His smile widened as he crouched down to her level, opening his arms wide for her. Nari ran into his embrace, wrapping her small arms around his neck. Jongho held her close, his heart swelling with an indescribable emotion. As the security guard began to usher you away, a pang of regret washed over Jongho. Seeing you hustled away, Jongho felt a surge of urgency. He yearned to reach out, to clasp your hand and never release it, but time was eluding him. 
"Wait!" Jongho's desperate voice echoed as he stepped forward, stretching a hand towards you. But it was too late, you were already moved to Hongjoong’s table. Jongho slumped back into his seat, engulfed by defeat. He had let you slip through his grasp again, and now he was worried that he might never rectify his mistake. As he sat, absorbed in his thoughts, the image of Nari's innocent face haunted him. She resembled him so much with her broad eyes and radiant smile, yet she was a stranger—a reminder of the life he missed and the family he never knew he had. Engrossed in his thoughts, Jongho barely registered the next fan asking for an autograph. His thoughts were occupied by you and the daughter he never knew existed. As he autographed the fan's album, Jongho wondered if there was still hope for you and him, if perhaps fate might reunite them one day. 
As you approached Hongjoong's table with Nar, your heart raced with a mix of apprehension and resentment. You couldn't shake the memories of your last encounter, the painful words he had spoken, and the role he had played in driving you and Jongho apart. Hongjoong looked up from signing autographs, his expression unreadable as he locked eyes with you. There was a flicker of recognition in his gaze, followed by a hint of guilt that he quickly masked with a polite smile. 
"Hello," Hongjoong greeted you, his voice carefully neutral. "It's been a while." you forced a tight smile, your hands trembling slightly as you returned his greeting. 
"Yes, it has," you replied, her voice strained with tension. There was a palpable awkwardness between you two, as Hongjoong catches sight of Nari standing beside you, his eyes widen in surprise. There's an unmistakable resemblance between Nari and Jongho—the same sparkling eyes, the same dimpled smile—that sends a pang of nostalgia coursing through Hongjoong's heart. Nari beams up at Hongjoong, her innocence and warmth melting away any lingering tension in the air. 
"Hi Uncle Hongjoong!" she chirps, reaching out to shake Hongjoong's hand with childlike enthusiasm. As Hongjoong exchanges a few more pleasantries with Nari, you can't shake the feeling of unease that gnaws at the back of your mind. With a quick 'thank you' to Hongjoong, you took Nari in your arms and quickly made your way towards the exit. You didn't dare to look back, your heart pounding in your chest. As you walked away, you couldn't help but wonder if Hongjoong had made the connection. But it didn't matter anymore. You had done what you had come here to do. Nari had finally met her dad, and Jongho now knew about her existence. What would happen next was out of your hands. 
As you exited the venue, you could feel a sense of relief washing over you. The heavy burden that had been weighing on your heart for years was now lifted. You glanced at Nari, her face filled with joy and excitement, her eyes sparkling with pure innocence. You couldn't help but feel a sense of love and pride. Despite everything, you knew in your heart that you had made the right decision.  
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After what felt like an eternity, the fan meeting ended. Jongho's mind still reeling from the shock. He found himself rushing backstage into the tranquility of the dressing room that he shared with Hongjoong. He withdrew to a corner, away from the others, needing to be alone with his tumultuous thoughts. Images of Nari's face swirled in his mind, her innocent smile seared into his memory. He wrestled with a whirlwind of questions, his brain struggling to process the reality of his newfound fatherhood. 
"Why didn't you try to contact me?" He asked the empty room, his voice barely a whisper. The question echoed off the walls, a haunting reminder of the years he had missed. "Didn't I have a right to know sooner?" His voice broke as he voiced the question, the hurt evident in his tone. He was a father, but he had been oblivious to that fact for years. The knowledge filled him with a potent mix of joy and anguish. Joy at the thought of being a father, and anguish at the years he had missed, the moments he would never get back. The room felt suffocating, the silence deafening as the reality of the situation slowly sank in. He missed out on so much. He missed seeing you pregnant, a sight he was sure would have been beautiful. He missed being there for you when you were feeling sick when you needed him the most. He missed the birth of Nari, missed holding your hand through the labor. He missed her first tooth, her first steps, her first words. He even missed her first day of school. All these milestones in Nari's life, and he wasn't there for any of them. A sense of loss washed over him, a regret for all the moments he had missed, moments he could never get back. Jongho was alone, filled with anger. He felt betrayed, kept in the dark about his own daughter all these years. He was furious at everyone, including himself. His hands clenched into fists as he grappled with the reality of missed opportunities to be a father. 
As Hongjoong entered the dressing room, he could sense the storm of emotions raging within Jongho. The usually lively and cheerful atmosphere of the room was replaced by a heavy silence. Jongho was seated alone, lost in his thoughts. The look on his face was one of confusion and shock, a stark contrast to his usual cheerful demeanor. 
"Jongho..." Hongjoong began, hoping to break the silence. His voice was gentle, not wanting to startle his friend. Jongho looked up, his eyes meeting Hongjoong's. There was a vulnerability in Jongho's eyes that tugged at Hongjoong's heart. He knew Jongho needed to talk, to let out all the emotions that were bottled up inside him. 
"I know you have a lot on your mind because of Y/N showing up," Hongjoong said, taking a seat next to Jongho. His voice was soft, understanding. "And I'm here to listen, whenever you're ready to talk about this." His words hung in the air, offering a sense of comfort and support to Jongho. 
"I'm surprised you even remember her," Jongho scoffed, the hurt evident in his voice. His mind was a whirlwind of emotions and memories, all coming back at once. Breaking the silence that hung heavily in the room, Hongjoong finally voiced the question that had been lingering in everyone's minds, 
"Y/N's a mom now, how does it make you feel?" Hongjoong's voice was gentle, and cautious, as if he was afraid of shattering the fragile peace that had momentarily settled over them. He was aware that he was treading on thin ice, yet he also knew this was a conversation that needed to be held. 
"I don’t know" Jongho's voice broke, the words he needed to confess stuck in his throat. He needed to admit that he was the father, but he couldn't find the words. The situation was too raw, too fresh. He was scared to say it out loud. 
"Her daughter, she looks a bit like you," Hongjoong said gently, his gaze falling on his friend. "She has your eyes... your smile." As he spoke, Hongjoong's hand found its way to Jongho's shoulder, offering a reassuring squeeze. It was his way of encouraging Jongho, of letting him know that he wasn't alone in this.
Jongho finally broke down. His voice was barely a whisper as he admitted, "Because she's mine." His hands covered his face, trying to hide the tears that were streaming down his cheeks. His body trembled with the intensity of his emotions, the reality of the situation finally sinking in. "That night... when you told me to break up with Y/N, I..." He paused, struggling to find the right words. "I thought I was doing the right thing, for both of us." The memory of that night came rushing back to him, the pain, the confusion, the regret. He felt as though he was reliving that moment all over again. 
Hongjoong remained silent, listening to Jongho's confession. He could see the pain etched on his friend's face, the regret in his eyes. "Jongho, I..." he began, but Jongho cut him off. 
"I trusted you," Jongho continued, his voice choked with emotion. "I trusted you, and I let her go. But now... now I have found out that I have a daughter. A daughter that I didn't even know existed because I wasn't there for her... because I wasn't there for Y/N." His voice cracked the guilt and regret overwhelming him. "I missed out on so much because of that decision... because of you." Tears kept streaming down Jongho's face as he sobbed, he had lost so much - his love, his child, years of being a father - all because of a decision made years ago. And now, he didn't know how to deal with this overwhelming wave of regret and loss. "I don't know what to do," Jongho whispered, his eyes welling up with unshed tears. The weight of the revelations and the depth of his emotions were too much to bear. His heart felt heavy in his chest, the pain nearly unbearable. He felt lost, unsure of how to navigate the storm of emotions within him. The anger, the hurt, the betrayal... it was all too much. And yet, amidst all of that, there was also a profound sense of love; love for a child he had never known, but already cared for deeply. "What do I do now?" he asked, looking up with pleading eyes, desperate for guidance and a roadmap to navigate this new reality. Hongjoong was at a loss for words. He could see the pain in Jongho's eyes and feel the regret that filled the air around them.
"Jongho, I... I didn't know. I thought I was doing what was best for you. For your career. I never meant for this to happen," he finally managed to say, his voice filled with regret. But words were just words, and no apology could erase the years Jongho had lost. 
"When I hugged Nari, it was like love just hit me with the power of a train," Jongho continued, his gaze fixed on Hongjoong. "I couldn't believe she's mine. The moment she was in my arms, I felt this overwhelming urge to break down, to cry and apologize for not being there from the start. Y/N's been doing that all alone, Hongjoong," Jongho cried out, his voice choked with emotion. "I wasn't there... I didn't know... The pregnancy, the birth, and then raising a daughter... She has been all alone." His voice broke in the last words, the heart-wrenching reality hitting him hard. 
"Jongho, don’t blame yourself, you didn't know," Hongjoong finally spoke up, his voice filled with understanding and sympathy. "You still have a chance to make it right." 
"How am I supposed to make it right?" Jongho asked, his voice filled with desperation and confusion. "Only you knew about Y/N. I've never told the rest of the boys, nor the managers, nothing... How am I supposed to make it work now?" His words hung heavy in the air for a moment, the weight of his predicament settling in. Jongho looked down, a mix of frustration and despair etched on his face. "Maybe it's too late... Maybe I've already lost my chance." He murmured, the hopelessness in his voice echoing through the room. His heart ached at the thought of missing out on his daughter's life, all the moments he could have been there for her. 
"We'll find a way," Hongjoong said firmly, his voice tinged with determination. "We'll talk to the managers, to the members... We'll figure it out together." 
"What if Y/N doesn't want me in her life again?" Jongho asked, the fear in his voice almost palpable. The thought of you rejecting him, of not wanting him in your life anymore, terrified him. The silence that followed was deafening, the tension in the air palpable. 
"Jongho, Nari is your daughter," Hongjoong finally said, his voice steady and determined. "And regardless of what happened between you and Y/N, from now on she will always be a part of your life. You need to talk to Y/N, to understand her perspective and express your feelings. This is not only about Nari, but it's also about you and Y/N, about the life you could have together." After wiping away the last of his tears, Jongho took a deep breath, steadying himself. He knew what he had to do next.
"I need to reach out to Y/N," he said to himself, determination filling his voice. 
"Do you still have her number?" Hongjoong asked. Jongho nodded, reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone. He scrolled through his contacts until he found your name. He hesitated for a moment before showing the screen to Hongjoong. 
"But it's been five years... She could have changed it," Jongho voiced out his concern, the uncertainty clear in his voice. 
"Well, it doesn't hurt to try?" Hongjoong asked, smiling at Jongho. Jongho looked back at Hongjoong, his expression unreadable. There was a long pause before he finally nodded, his gaze determined.
"You're right," he said, "It doesn't hurt to try." 
"Nari will not only get her dad, but she will also get seven uncles. I promise the boys will love her so much. She will be so loved," Hongjoong said encouragingly. "So don't be afraid and talk to Y/N." Hongjoong's words hung in the air for a moment, creating a hopeful silence. Jongho looked at him, his sadness visibly subsiding, replaced by a glimmer of longing and anticipation. 
"You really think they'll accept her? Accept us?" Jongho asked, his voice barely above a whisper. 
"I know so," Hongjoong replied confidently. "We're a family, Jongho. And family means no one gets left behind or forgotten." With that, Jongho seemed to find a new resolve. He nodded, taking a deep breath as he prepared himself to take the first step towards a future where he could be a father to his daughter, a future where he was no longer kept in the dark. 
The drive back to the dorms seemed to take an eternity. Jongho found himself lost in his thoughts, the car's quiet hum a stark contrast to the storm of emotions raging within him. The conversation with Hongjoong had eased his mind a bit, the weight of his newfound fatherhood feeling a little less heavy. He decided it was best to delay talking to the boys and the company about the situation until he had had time to process everything himself. It was a lot to take in, and he needed time to figure out his next steps. Once he entered his room, Jongho wasted no time. He locked the door behind him, seeking the privacy he needed for the call he was about to make. His heartbeat quickened as he dialed your number, each ring echoing in his ears until finally, the line connected. 
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you
After an exhausting day you found yourself sinking into the plush cushions of your couch, a glass of your favorite wine in hand. The TV screen in front of you was merely background noise, a mindless distraction from the day's events. Your phone suddenly lighted up, an incoming call from an unknown caller. You picked it up, eyeing the unfamiliar number with a slight frown. After a moment's hesitation, you finally answered, "Hello? Who is it?" 
"Hi, it's me, Jongho," he said, his voice sending a shiver down your spine. You swallowed hard, your heart starting to beat faster. ‘’Do you have time to talk right now?’’ 
"Yeah, Nari's at my mom's now…" you managed to reply, trying to keep your voice steady. You didn't expect that Jongho had your number, let alone that he would reach out so quickly. 
Jongho's heart beat harder at the mention of Nari's name. "If you're not busy, maybe we could meet up for a coffee?" Jongho offered. 
"Jongho, you don't have to be doing this. I don't expect you to do anything for Nari or me," you blurted out, the words tumbling from your lips before you could stop them. 
"Y/N, you took her away from me for four years. She's my daughter. And for years, I was oblivious to her existence. I missed out on so much because you chose to keep me in the dark," Jongho's voice was steady, but you could hear the underlying emotion. "Because of that, I think you owe me at least a conversation." There was a pause, and you could almost feel Jongho gathering his thoughts. "So, what you need to do now is send me the address of a coffee place near your location. I'll meet you there in an hour." 
"Alright, Jongho, let's meet. I'll send you an address," you sighed heavily, the weight of the situation pressing down on you. You knew deep down that you owed him this conversation, even if it was the last thing you wanted to do right now. The reality was that you weren't ready to face whatever consequences this meeting would bring about. You weren't ready to delve into the past, but for your daughter's sake, for Jongho's sake, and maybe a little bit for your own sake, you would do it. You would meet him, and you would have this conversation. 
"I'll see you there," Jongho said, ending the call and leaving you alone with your thoughts. You finished your glass of wine, texted Jongho the address of a coffee place near your apartment, and began to gather your belongings. Opening your wardrobe, you sighed loudly. You wanted to look your best for Jongho but didn't want to appear as if you were preparing for a date or trying too hard to impress him after all these years. Having chosen an outfit, put on your denim jacket, and headed to the coffee shop. 
Upon entering the coffee shop, your eyes immediately found Jongho, sitting alone in a corner. He was dressed casually in a beige coat, his face partially hidden behind glasses, and a mask. The sight of him caused a flutter in your heart and your hands started to tremble involuntarily. You straightened your clothes and ran a hand through your hair, trying to compose yourself. Taking a deep breath, you began to make your way towards his table, preparing yourself for the conversation to come. 
"Hi," you almost whispered as you found your seat opposite Jongho. You tried to maintain an air of confidence, but the reality was that your heart was pounding in your chest. You could feel a lump forming in your throat, and you quickly swallowed to clear it. The memories of your past with Jongho were flooding back, and you were suddenly overcome with a mix of nostalgia, regret, fear, and hope. Jongho looked at you intently, his eyes scanning your features. It was surreal, he thought, to have you sitting there across from him after all these years. He still couldn't quite believe, that you were here with him. His heart pounded in his chest, a mix of excitement and fear coursing through his veins. This was it - the start of a conversation that was years overdue. "Are you sure you want to talk here?" you asked, glancing around at the bustling café. "This place is still quite busy considering it's already evening," you continued. There was an uncertainty in your tone, a clear sign of your nervousness. You then looked back at Jongho, meeting his gaze. "I just think that considering your status now, it will be more comfortable to do it at my place," you added, offering an alternative. 
After a moment of silence, Jongho finally found the courage to ask, "Are you comfortable with me coming over to your place?" His voice was filled with a hint of apprehension as if he was worried about crossing any boundaries. 
"Yeah, it's alright," you responded, your tone casual and inviting. You quickly added, ‘’My place isn’t far from here, just about 5 minutes away. Besides, Nari won’t be home tonight. She's staying over with her grandparents, so we'll have the place to ourselves.’’ 
Jongho seemed to consider your words for a moment before he finally agreed, "Okay then, let's go," his tone steady, as if he was trying to mask his excitement or maybe it was anxiety. Together, you left the bustling café, heading towards the quiet comfort of your apartment. The walk was filled with palpable tension, both of you lost in your thoughts, silently anticipating the conversation that awaited. 
You let Jongho in and lead him to the living room. "I'm sorry, it's nothing fancy," you whispered, feeling suddenly self-conscious. You were aware that with the success Jongho had achieved, he was probably used to living in more amazing spaces. Jongho looked around your modest space, taking in the sights of a home that you had lovingly created for yourself and Nari. Her baby pictures were hanging on the wall, her toys scattered in every corner. His smile widened as he took in these intimate glimpses into her life. It filled him with a warm, tender feeling, a sense of connection to the daughter he was only just getting to know. 
''I don't know where to start'' you finally whispered anxiously as you sit down on the couch.
Jongho looked at you, his eyes softening. "How about we start from the beginning?''
"I found out about a month after we broke up," you started, your voice shaking. Jongho's presence felt so strange in your apartment. His eyes on yours added to the tension that was heavy on your shoulders. 
"Why didn't you tell me?" Jongho asked, his voice filled with a mixture of confusion and hurt. His eyes bore into yours, seeking answers to questions that had been plaguing him since he found out about Nari.
"I was scared," you confessed, your voice barely audible. "And I loved you too much to burden you with my pregnancy," you said, smiling sadly and averting your gaze as you felt tears welling up in your eyes. "And don't try to lie and tell me I wouldn't ruin your life with it," you chuckled, your finger wiping away the tears that escaped. "Because I would have," you continued, the words heavy with regret and unshed tears. "Your music, your dreams... I couldn't stand in the way of that." 
"I think I had the right to know," Jongho interrupted, his voice firm yet filled with emotion. His words brought a heavy silence between the two of you. His gaze was intent, the hurt and confusion clear in his eyes. 
"Jongho, I didn't mean to hurt you by keeping it a secret," you admitted, your voice trembling with emotion. "But at that time, I genuinely believed it was the best decision for the three of us." You gave him a pleading look, hoping he would understand. 
"I want to be Nari's father," Jongho confessed, his voice barely above a whisper but the conviction in his words was undeniable. You were taken aback by his confession, not expecting him to express such a strong desire to be a part of your daughter's life. You looked at him, your heart pounding in your chest as you tried to find the right words.
"Jongho... we are doing good, the two of us. You've chosen your career, and I want you to stick to that decision now. Nari doesn't change anything." 
"How can you say that? Of course, it changes everything! I am a father now!", Jongho's voice rose, his tone filled with a sense of urgency and frustration. His heart pounded in his chest, his gaze never leaving yours. "Nari exists because we loved each other," his voice choked with emotion as he continued, "She's a living proof of our love." His voice trailed off, the weight of his words hanging heavy in the room. He was desperate for you to understand. His life, his priorities, everything had shifted the moment he found out about Nari. And he was determined to do whatever it took to be a part of her life. Jongho's eyes flashed with determination as he refused to accept your words. "I am her dad, Y/N, and you can't change that!" he exclaimed, his voice filled with conviction. 
"I know you are, Jongho," you admitted, your voice softening."But I want you to focus on Ateez, you guys are already doing so well," you responded, your voice steady yet filled with a strange calmness. "Me and Nari... we'll be better off without you." The words hung heavily in the air, a painful reality neither of you wanted to face. 
"Stop lying to yourself!" Jongho suddenly stood up, glaring at you as his frustration boiled over. His voice echoed around the room, a clear indication of his disbelief and anger at your words. His outburst took you by surprise. You looked at him, taken aback by the intensity of his emotions. 
"Jongho, I made a mistake… I shouldn't have come to the fan sign, I shouldn't have let you meet Nari," you started, but he cut you off. 
"Enough, Y/N!" he exclaimed; his voice filled with raw emotion. "You don't get to decide what's best for me. She is my daughter too, do you understand?" You swallowed hard, feeling a lump forming in your throat. You knew he was right. "I want to be there for Nari." You looked at him, speechless. You hadn't expected this. You hadn't expected him to fight for his right to be a part of Nari's life. But here he was, standing in your living room, pouring his heart out to you. 
"This is a huge responsibility. Are you sure you're ready for it?" You took a deep breath, locking eyes with him. "Because once you're in, there's no going back." Jongho gaze softened, but the determination remained. 
"Yes, I'm sure," he said resolutely. "I want to be a part of her life. And I'm ready to take on the responsibility that comes with it." His voice was steady, his conviction clear. There was a pause, a momentary lapse in his speech before he finally found the courage to continue with his confession. "And...," he started his voice barely a whisper, so low and quiet that it was almost lost. You had to strain your ears to hear the rest of his sentence. "I want you back as well, if you will have me" he admitted his words carrying an emotional weight that you could feel hanging in the air between you. You were stunned, unable to form a coherent response. Jongho's words had taken you completely by surprise. You never expected him to confess his feelings, to say that he wanted you back. It felt like your heart was pounding out of your chest, your mind racing with thoughts. You looked at him, your emotions in turmoil. Tears welled up in your eyes, blurring your vision.
"Jongho, I..." you started, struggling to find the right words. You could see the hope in his eyes, the same hope that you felt blossoming in your own heart. "I need time to think about all of this," you finally admitted. "For now, we should focus on you getting to know Nari." 
His face fell slightly at your words, but he quickly composed himself. "Of course, I understand," Jongho responded, his voice gentle. "Take all the time you need. And I look forward to getting to know our daughter." After a moment, Jongho broke the silence, his voice soft as he asked, "Could I see her room, if that's not too much to ask?" His eyes were hopeful as he looked at you, his chest rising and falling steadily as he took a few calming breaths. It was clear that he was trying to keep his emotions in check, to respect your need for space and time. As much as he wanted to rush into your lives, he knew he had to tread carefully. After all, he was not just stepping into the life of his former lover, but also into the life of his daughter.
"Of course, you can but… You're not gonna like it," you chuckled softly, Jongho's heart softened at the sight of your genuine smile, a smile he had missed more than he cared to admit.
''Why?'' Jongho asked surprised, but you didn't answer. You wanted for him to see it himself. You led Jongho to Nari's room. The sight that greeted him was a mix of bright colors and cute decorations, a clear reflection of the little girl who called this place her sanctuary. And there, among all the toys and drawings, was a framed picture of… Wooyoung. 
"Is that... Wooyoung?" Jongho's voice was filled with surprise as his eyes widened at the sight. He quickly made his way into the room, picking up the framed picture in his hands. 
"Yes, it's Wooyoung," you confirmed a soft smile on your lips. "Nari adores him. She thinks he's the coolest in the world." You watched as Jongho's gaze lingered on the picture; his expression unreadable. Jongho looked at you, his eyes filled with a mix of emotions. 
"I can't believe that amongst all of us, she had to choose Wooyoung," Jongho muttered, his voice low and filled with a sense of disbelief and a hint of jealousy. His gaze remained fixed on the picture, his thoughts running wild. ''My own daughter?'' You giggled again, finding Jongho's disbelief and subtle jealousy amusing. 
"Well, she does have a good taste. After all, Wooyoung is pretty cool," you teased, watching as Jongho's face fell even more. You couldn't help but find the whole situation incredibly amusing. Here was Jongho, an idol who was adored by millions around the world, feeling jealous of his own bandmate. Jongho shook his head, chuckling softly at your comment. 
"I guess I have some catching up to do then," he said, placing the picture back on the little, pink desk. His tone was light, but you could sense the determination behind his words. He was ready to do whatever it took to build a relationship with his daughter. You watched him, your heart aching at the sight. Jongho, the man you once loved, standing in your daughter's room, expressing his desire to be a part of her life. It was a sight you never imagined you would witness. 
"Jongho, I think...I think it's a good start," you finally said, your voice soft but steady. "You wanting to get to know Nari, to be a part of her life...it means a lot." 
Jongho turned to you, his gaze softening. "I should've been there from the start," he admitted with a sigh. "But I promise you, I'll make up for the lost time." Those words, that promise, filled you with a sense of hope. You knew the journey ahead would be filled with challenges and uncertainties. But for the first time in a long time, you felt that you weren't alone in this. And maybe, just maybe, there was a possibility for a future where you, Jongho, and Nari could be a family. But for now, you decided to take things one step at a time, starting with Jongho getting to know his daughter. 
"She asked about you the other day," you started, your voice barely a whisper as you looked at Jongho. "She had never asked about her dad before, but when she did, it changed something inside me." You admitted, a lump forming in your throat as you recalled the moment. It was a memory that had been haunting you, a reminder of the reality that you had been trying to avoid. Jongho's eyes widened slightly, a mix of surprise and curiosity reflecting in his gaze as he awaited your next words. "I knew this day would come, but I wasn't prepared for it," you continued, your voice choked with emotion. At this, Jongho reached out, taking your hand in his. The warmth of his touch brought a small comfort. "I told her a few things about you, told her you were really busy," you confessed, your eyes meeting Jongho's. "I didn't know what else to say. She asked if her daddy would treat her to ice cream next time." 
Jongho's hand squeezed yours lightly as he stated, "Well, then Daddy will take her to get ice cream," he flashed you a smile and you swore you melted at the sight. You had buried your love for Jongho deep in your heart. But now, his hand on yours, his touch that you craved for so long, stirred something within you. You had to admit that those feelings were slightly knocking at your heart, reminding you of their existence. The silence that filled the room was comfortable, a stark contrast to the tension that had been present earlier. You could see the determination in Jongho's eyes, the promise of his words echoing in the quiet room. The reality of the situation was slowly sinking in, and you found yourself looking at Jongho with newfound hope. 
"I guess we still have a lot to talk about," you finally broke the silence, your gaze steady on Jongho. There was a soft smile on your face, a clear indication of your acceptance of the situation. "And a lot of ice cream to buy," you added, your tone light and teasing. 
Jongho chuckled, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "I guess we do," he agreed, his voice warm and gentle. He then looked at you, his gaze softening. "But first, we need to figure out how to tell Nari." You nodded, a sense of apprehension filling you. Telling Nari about her dad would be a challenge, a hurdle that both of you needed to cross together. But looking at Jongho, his determination, and his willingness to step up as a father, you felt a sense of comfort. 
"We'll figure it out, Jongho," you said, squeezing his hand in reassurance. "Together." 
Jongho looked at you, a serious expression on his face. "Y/N, I wanted to talk to you first about this, but tomorrow I'm going to talk with company representatives and the boys. I think I will choose to go on a hiatus to spend some time with Nari and you," he confessed, his voice steady and sincere. The honesty in his words and the determination in his eyes gave you a sense of reassurance. Jongho was indeed ready to take on the responsibility of being a father, and he was willing to make sacrifices for it. 
"Jongho, I want to be clear about something," you started, your eyes meeting his. "I'd still like it if you continued your career. I don't want Nari or me to be the reason you have to give up on your dreams." Your words were steady and sincere, echoing in the quiet room. Jongho looked at you, a wave of relief washing over him. He had been worried about the impact this situation would have on his career, but hearing your support eased his concerns. 
"Hearing you say that... it means a lot to me," he confessed, his voice filled with gratitude. He was glad to know that even in this complex situation, he still had your support. 
The two of you spent the rest of the evening talking about Nari, her likes and dislikes, her habits, and her dreams. You showed him her drawings, her favorite toys, and even her diary which was filled with her innocent thoughts and dreams. Jongho listened attentively, absorbing every detail. He knew he had a lot of catching up to do, but he was more than willing to make up for the lost time. The night grew late as you continued to talk, discussing the future, your shared past, and how everything would affect Nari. You made it clear to Jongho that his career was still significant, and that he could balance his responsibilities as a father without giving up his dreams. And as you spoke, Jongho felt a wave of relief wash over him. Your support meant the world to him, and he was grateful to hear your words of encouragement. 
As you finally said your goodbyes, Jongho promised to keep in touch and to start involving himself in Nari's life slowly. He understood that he had a lot of catching up to do and that it wouldn't be easy. But he was ready to face the challenges ahead, ready to be a father to Nari. 
"I'll see you soon, Y/N," Jongho said, his voice low but firm. Before he took a step outside of the door, he stepped closer and gently placed a kiss on your cheek. The action was unexpected. You felt your blood rush to your cheeks as he placed a gentle kiss. Where his lips had touched, a tingling sensation lingered, causing your heart to flutter. He turned back to give you a reassuring smile, a promise that he would be back soon. And as you watched him walk away, you felt a sense of hope blossoming in your heart. You knew that the road ahead would be rocky, but you also knew that you weren't alone on this journey. Jongho would be there, ready to face the challenges with you, for Nari's sake. 
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The Lady - 6
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Character: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader, Eddie Horniman x Female Reader
Summary: After fifteen years away, a step-daughter returns for her Duke step-father's funeral, only to inherit a staggering 8 million pound debt and strike a risky deal with a criminal underworld figure.
Main Masterlist || support: Ko-fi
Chap 1, Chap 2, Chap 3 , Chap 4 , Chap 5 , Chap 6 ,-
I'd really appreciate it if anyone who likes this series could leave a comment or reblog with a GIF.
Could you let me know what your thoughts are? Reblogs and comments are the main things that keep me posting new stories. ❤️❤️❤️
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You shot a glare at Bucky, who only chuckled in response.
Linking his arm with yours, Bucky suggested, "Let's go meet them together."
Rosie was taken aback when she spotted Bucky.
"I woke up today and still don't see the other half, Princess," Bucky quipped.
Maintaining her composure, Rosie replied, "You're too impatient. My assistant just delivered it to your club."
"Ooh, then I hope you like the service," Bucky retorted with a smirk.
"Impeccable," Rosie replied smoothly, before turning her gaze to you. She tilted her head slightly and added, "I always sensed that you're an adventurous person. I admire your work. I felt comfortable when I found out you're part of this."
You hadn't expected such a compliment from her. While you had met Rosie a few times before, you always felt a sense of superiority from her.
Surrounded by Eddie and Freddie, you never felt out of place. But when Rosie, with her royal blood as a princess, joined the group, the dynamic shifted, and the boys seemed to adopt a more regal demeanor.
Despite your ability to keep up with them, there were times during the summer when you preferred to retreat to Rupert's empty mansion.
You leaned in closer to Rosie and whispered, "Why did you do it?"
Rosie leaned in, her voice barely audible as she replied, "That man doesn't fit to be the future King. It wasn't me who wants him dead. I only lent a hand."
As Rosie spoke, you realized that the relationships within the royal family were even more intricate than you had imagined.
"Some people like your work," Rosie continued. "And I think you will get another client."
Bucky puffed out his chest proudly upon hearing this, nudging your shoulder. "You hear that? Encore."
However, you didn't share Bucky's excitement. While the client may have admired your work, you couldn't find any pride in the situation.
Excusing yourself, you stated, "I need to see my mom and Charlotte."
Once you were at a distance, you pulled out your phone and dialed the family lawyer, Cedric. "Cedric, we need to meet."
#########
Back at the Evergreen Estate.
Cedric informed you, "The debt you have to pay is 3 million." You requested him to find out everything about the debt, unwilling to rely solely on Bucky, as you suspected he wasn't giving you the complete picture.
Lighting a cigar, you took a few puffs in silence as Cedric continued. "The first 4 million already got paid with the building that Bucky used as his club."
Your eyebrows shot up in surprise. "That place used to be Rupert's?" Bucky's mention of Rupert profiting suddenly made sense.
Cedric confirmed with a nod. "With 5 jobs done with Barnes, you have completed 2. That means only 3 are left."
Leaning back in your leather chair, you tapped your fingers thoughtfully. "I don't want to finish the rest. I'll just give him the money. But I also don't want to use the money from savings."
Understanding your dilemma, Cedric pondered briefly before suggesting, "Selling the assets will take a while since the deadline to pay the debts is near. What about selling an artwork?"
His suggestion lightened your burden slightly. Exhaling a cloud of smoke, you inquired, "What artwork does Rupert have?"
Cedric's response was impressive. "One of a kind. One original artworks by DaVinci, Monet, and Van Gogh. One painting is worth more than 1 million pounds."
You nodded in agreement. "Good. Sell those. But will the transaction be quick?"
Confidently, Cedric nodded. "I know some people."
"Then, get all you need. You can have 10% from each artwork," you decided, showing trust in his abilities.
Cedric hesitated, "Your Grace, are you sure you want to let go of the paintings?"
You shrugged, unaffected. "I do explosions for a living, Cedric. I don't have the sentiment to admire a painting."
With a bow of his head, Cedric accepted your decision and left.
As you watched him depart, you felt a weight lift from your shoulders. At least tonight, you could block any calls from Bucky.
##########
For two days, you relished in the tranquility of the countryside, finally having the chance to appreciate the simple joys of life. Breakfast with tea, a luxury you never had time for in your military days, now became a cherished routine as the head of the household.
But your peace was shattered when your mother, Susan, entered with a gloomy expression. “I saw some paintings taken down from the wall. Do you know the reason why, my dear?”
You remained focused on your newspaper, not bothering to look up. “I sold them.”
Susan’s eyes widened in disbelief. “What? Why would you do that? Those masterpieces have adorned this house for years.”
Without lifting your gaze, you replied curtly, “So you’re more concerned about the paintings than paying off our debt?”
A heavy silence filled the room.
Flipping the newspaper page, you continued, “I’m the head of this household now, and I have full rights to do as I please, Mother. I refuse to be burdened by debts while you stand idly by.”
You added, a hint of frustration in your tone, “It’s better to sell the paintings than to risk losing the house, don’t you think?”
Susan gasped, taken aback by your audacity. She turned on her heels and stormed out of the room.
The tension lingered in the air, but you remained resolute in your decision, knowing it was necessary for your family's survival.
While the butler of the house remained stoic, devoid of any emotion like you, he asked, “Do you want a cup of coffee, Your Grace?”
You replied, “Yes, please. That would be great.”
The bitterness of the coffee offered a temporary escape from the turmoil caused by your childish mother.
But it seemed the universe had other plans, denying you the chance to find peace. You heard a familiar voice, the harbinger of your nightmares. “Make it two, please.”
Bucky entered with his usual high energy, greeting, “Good morning.”
Without awaiting your permission, he took a seat beside you. “So, last night someone came to my club and brought a briefcase with 3 million pounds inside. It's to pay off Rupert’s debt.”
You took a sip of the coffee. “Yes, that means our association has ended.”
Bucky's expression softened. “First of all, thank you for settling the debt on time. But it pains me to lose a friend.”
You retorted, “Find another one.”
Bucky sighed. “Don't want to. You're one of a kind.”
You acknowledged his compliment but remained firm. “I appreciate your words, but I have no desire to utilize my expertise in such a manner again.”
Bucky nodded understandingly. “Alright, I understand. But I don't want our friendship to end. And we're also business partners.”
He raised his coffee cup, proposing a toast. “To our new beginning.”
You pushed aside your coffee cup, the porcelain clinking against the saucer, echoing the heavy tension in the room. Every visit from Bucky seemed to herald trouble, and today was no exception. "Every time you come here, you bring bad news."
Bucky shrugged nonchalantly, but there was an underlying tension in his posture, a sense of unease that matched your own. "Not this time," he insisted, but his words did little to assuage the growing apprehension in the air.
"Hmm." Your response was clipped, your mind already racing with dread-filled possibilities.
'Ring.' It was Eddie.
The sudden intrusion of the ringing phone shattered the fragile calm, jolting you and Bucky out of your uneasy silence. You answered, your hand trembling ever so slightly. "Hello?"
"I've got bad news."
The words from Eddie on the other end of the line felt like a confirmation of your worst fears. The room seemed to constrict around you, the air growing heavy with tension.
"What is it?" Your voice wavered slightly, betraying the anxiety that clenched at your chest.
"Charles. He got into a problem with the wrong people."
Your heart sank. The implications of Eddie's words hit you like a physical blow, sending a shiver of fear down your spine.
"How bad is it?" You struggled to maintain composure, but the panic threatened to overwhelm you.
"He's tangled up with a cocaine syndicate."
"Oh no." The words escaped your lips in a hushed whisper, laden with fear and dread.
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hello gorgeous! if you don't mind modern au, i have an idea. if you don't feel like writing anything it'd be great to hear your thoughts abt it. daemon x wife!reader (who's somehow connected with magic but not targaryen) who are devoted to each other like madly in love. before daemon has to go to war they're saying goodbyes kissing, crying and not being able to let the other go. feeling like something's off he says smth like "i'll find you in another life. i'll find you in any time we'll be existing. i will love you any time i am alive" (in high valyrian or calling her some name in it) kissing her knuckles and going away. unfortunately, he was right. reader died some way while he was away and he remains faithful to her for the rest of his life (oc but whatever) and in the modern world he does find her. maybe targaryens are some sort of royal family, maybe they keep a family business or an ordinary family with lots of relatives. but he fins the reader and they somehow just feel. sorry if it's too much. i'd really like to read something about it but it absolutely ok if you don't feel like it. thank u in advance! take care!
Waiting For A Lifetime
Part 1 2 3 ?
Daemon Targaryen x Reader + Aegon Targaryen x Reader cos it just sorta happened
Summary: Overcome by grief, Daemon turned to black magic to revive you. Moved by pity, the witch who casted the spell promised you would live until you met your love again in his next life.
Word Count: 3k+
Warnings: Modern AU, fem!reader, mentions/depictions of death/still birth/war, my pretty boy aegon whom i would die for, angst, fluff, typos, etc.
A/N: i saw this last night when i woke up in the middle of my sleep and couldn't stop thinking about it. I changed a lot about your req nonnie. I do hope you still like it though. I absolutely could not help myself with this one and I got so carried away T_T also a lot of facts about the Targaryens have distorted so just just just roll with it ok ok ok thank you And yes i know this is a gif from the crown but i love it so much the hat falling off the kiss ITS EVERYTHING I WANT TO BE HERRRRRRRRRRRRR also i do acknowledge the fact that this anon came to me with this idea after i reblogged this amazing moodboard sooooo yeah i think this post sparked this fic idea lol ALSO ALSO ALSO 2022 MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!! LOVE YA ALL imagine seeing this post in like 2032 or smth shit thats like 35 years from now Tagging: @pinksirensong @deniixlovezelda @targaryenmoony pssst i made p2 "Never Before"
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Daemon's face was streaked with tears and sorrow. His eyes were bloodshot and his voice was as sure as it was grave as he repeated the word he uttered to the shaman, "anything."
She looked at him, able to taste the desperation in the air, "even if it costs your life, prince?"
Daemon looks at his love before him, his love that was carrying his child. He places his bloody palm on the gaping wound on her stomach.
"Your child will not live even if she does."
Daemon screws his eyes shut tightly. He begins to quiver in anger, in grief, in pure sorrow. He mutters, "anything," he slowly opens his eyes to gaze upon her lifeless face, "better it me than her. There is no world worth living without her."
The woman narrows her eyes at the prince. She knew he was the Targaryen, once heir, known to be rugged and harsh. The Rouge Prince. Yet, there was no trace of malice within his being, only what she would describe as true devotion, true love.
"So, may it be done by the gods old and new," she says, drawing the prince's attention to her, "I will plead for her soul that she may live."
Daemon watches the witch, as she stands to her feet from the ground they were both sprawled on, in front of the body of the dead woman.
"I will plead that she may live long enough to meet you again in another life, so that you may have the love you have now once more."
"Another life?"
"Yes," she says, "the gods recreate humans they are pleased with to grace the earth again. I am certain they will let you be reborn to be with her again. I will make it certain."
Daemon grabs the cold hand that was beginning to stiffen.
"Although, I am unsure if they will allow you to remember her."
"I will remember her," Daemon retorts, kissing the hand of his love, "I will remember her no matter form I take... I will, I must."
"So it remains to be seen," she says before speaking out her incantation.
And it would not be seen until nearly 2000 years later.
The times have changed drastically. Women wore pants and voted. Men where made to take more responsibility for their actions, though still got away with things.
And yet...
... my love for him never faded.
Every prince that was born and named Daemon, I hoped would finally be him. It went about like this century after century, war after war, plague after plague, rise after fall. I had feared the Targaryens would die out, but they proved to be as strong as the very foundations of the earth.
And it took the televised of the marriage of Viserys XXIX to Duchess Aemma of Eyrie for me to see the face of my love: Daemon, the Wild Child, the Knight of Knickers, as penned by the press. Ultimately, the prince of my heart.
I burst into tears when I saw his cheeky face as he nudged his brother at the isle. I pressed my hands on the screen, thinking to myself, the wait was finally over, he was finally here.
All that was left was for me to meet the Prince of Valyria.
Yes. That would be no problem at all.
Except it was, because Daemon was just as mad as he was in this life as he was in the last.
After all, he did not get those nicknames from the press for nothing.
I used up so many of my resources to even just get a glimpse of him. It was hard to catch him in one place. I mostly caught him with a scandalous headline in the cover of magazines and newspapers.
Tonight, it was a newspaper.
"You know," the bartender taps his finger on my newspaper that was sprawled out on his bar, "he's a frequent here."
I turn to the blonde, in his white dress shirt, black waist apron, and black slacks. I raise a brow as he purses his lips as though the information was ground breaking. He wipes on a glass with his blue towel.
"Gee, Aegon," I lean on the surface before me, "I would have never guessed that from the picture on the wall."
I nod at the said picture. It's one of Daemon and the current owner of the bar, Tywin Lannister, who also happened to own Lannister Land Corp, shaking hands. Oh, Lannisters.
"Hey," Aegon shrugs, pulling his lips down in a nuff-said manner, "it had to be said, since you're literally the only patron here that has not interrogated me with questions about the Knight of Knickers."
I snort, "then allow me to change that," I rest my head on my hand, "is he truly so dashing that his looks practically steal the knickers of the ladies around him?"
Aegon finishes buffing his glass and puts it down, looking up in thought, "mmm, I think it's mostly cause he's a prince that he's got the effect he's got. I've got no idea what possessed the first girl to throw her panties at him."
I giggle, "are you saying the prince is ugly?"
"Bit harsh, innit," Aegon pulls back, getting another glass, rubbing it down with his towel, "your words, not mine."
I roll my eyes, shaking my head, as I laugh at the light haired boy's muses, "you know, if we had been living at the height of the Targaryen rule, Daemon would have had your head for that, pretty boy."
"Gods, to be beheaded," he sighed, "a dream, rather than working here, taking about some monarch who lives off the money of the people."
I snort once more. Aegon's face softens as he breaks into a laugh himself.
"No, but honestly," he says putting down the glass and the towel, "you, my dear, are my saving grace. The highlight of my begrudgingly stretched out day," he stretches out a hand to me.
I chuckle at him as I take his hand. He presses a kiss on the back of it, making me grin at him in amusement.
"You're the only sane person here," he releases my hand, "everyone else is so desperate to brush shoulders with the prince, or simply even catch a of whiff of his flatulence."
I break out into a fit of chuckles, slamming firmly at the wood between us.
"No, I'm serious! I heard the fittest gal, a total bombshell, boasting with pride about how she managed a sniff of the bloke's fart."
I'm wheezing with laughter, unable to believe what I'm hearing.
Aegon releases a deep and dramatic sigh, "what has the world come to?"
I wipe a tear as Aegon watches me empty myself of laughter. His face crinkles in a pleased expression, Adam's apple bobbing as he chuckles airily.
I sigh, catching my breath, "well, if I ever become that desperate, I ask that you pray for my soul."
Aegon presses his palms together, "praying for that girl as we speak."
I chuckle, folding the newspaper before me, "I must say, I am actually desperate to meet the wild child myself."
Aegon drops his hands along with his humored expression.
I cannot help but laugh at him as I continue to fold the paper, "though, I would say I am the desperate kind that is so desperate..." I eye him as I press the grey material together, "that I, somehow, dread to meet him at all."
Aegon snorts, screwing his eyes shut as he wipes his face, "the Stranger. Don't say things like that! I nearly had a heart attack believing you."
"No, but it's true, Aegon!" I say with a faux wounded pout, "prince Daemon is my great love, we have been destined to meet for millennia!"
Aegon leans on the table, humming as he nodds his head, "yes, and I suppose I am Aegon the Conqueror."
I lean towards him and grab his jaw, "no, you look more like Aegon II. The spitting image, I dare say."
He scoffs, swatting me off, "I'm hotter than him."
I pull away, "yes. That I can agree with, pretty boy. Personal hygiene does wonders."
Aegon snorts and plays off the blush on his cheeks by wiping his nose with his thumb, "you speak as though you met him."
I straighten up, "that's because I have. He was once my nephew."
He narrows his eyes and crosses his arms. His face contorts at the thought.
I raise my brows at him, "have I not told you I am not only a Targaryen historian, an expert at that, but I am also a patron of the Museum of Ice and Fire? I'm married into their family."
"Okay," he raises a finger, "ew."
I snort.
Aegon lifts his jaw and hums, "well, now that you mentioned it, I always knew you were one of those insanely rich blokes who frequent here. I was thinking you were a mafia boss or something though."
I scoff in amusement, raising my brows at him.
He pushes his white sleeves up then raises his hand in defense, "you have a very intense aura about you."
"That's because you trigger my fight mode," I retort.
He huffs, "do I? I'm scared to know what you'll do to me when I've seen what you do to men who hit on you."
"Aww, don't worry," I coo, "I wouldn't hurt my pretty, baby boy."
Aegon doesn't get to reply when a customer calls his attention. With this, he pulls away and leaves me to my own devices.
We don't get to continue our conversation at all, for it was clear that the rush hour had begun.
I eventually pulled back and decided to entertain myself while my favorite bartender was busy. I swiveled on my stool, looking out to the room, spotting the jukebox collecting dust in the corner. I smile at the sight of it, thinking about how it was still here after all these years, in spite of being older than Aegon.
I stand from my seat and walk over to it.
Aegon, finding one patron missing, frantically looks around then calms, raising a brow.
I place my hands on the jukebox, bending over to check if it was plugged in.
Aegon snorts as he hands a man a beer, eyes not at all fixed on him, "that doesn't work, love."
"Mmm, ye of little faith."
Aegon is annoyed by the man that sits on the vacated stool, blocking his vision. In retaliation, he blocks out the sound of his voice. Aegon calls out, "if you can make that hunkajunk work, I'll clear your tab for you."
I chuckle as I pull the machine forward, checking its wiring, "I wouldn't want to make a kid working on minimum wage to pay for me at all."
"I only said I would clear your tab, doll face," is all he replies before he goes back to tending to drinks again.
I break into chuckles as I fiddle with the wires on the back. I admit, it took me quite a while to go through everything, which was why Aegon warned that he would not call an ambulance for me if I got electrocuted.
The sight of the jukebox coming to life was enough to shut him up.
I get to my feet with a huff, brushing my hands off with each other. I turn to Aegon, who was already looking at me in astonishment, along with a few other people in the room.
I smirk, "my tab then?"
"Good as gone," Aegon shakes his head in disbelief, cutting his hand across his neck.
I release a satisfied sigh as I punch at the hardened buttons and play whatever it was that was available to be played.
When the music starts, I close my eyes and allow myself to drift off with the music. The sound brings back some memories I had in the 1940's. If I recall correctly, it was around this time Daemon's father, King Baelon, was crowned.
I slowly moved to the rhythm of the song, swaying my hips, waving my extended arms out as I made my way to the center of the room.
Aegon stilled in his spot upon seeing this. His breath caught in his throat and he was only brought back to reality when someone demanded a gin. He looked around the room as he poured that idjit his drink and clenched his jaw tightly when he saw the onlooking crowd.
He snorts loudly, grabbing his towel, throwing it over his shoulder roughly, clearing his throat with more noise than necessary.
I smile to myself when I hear Aegon's familiar coughing. He had a tendency to do this whenever men around me started to be a bother. And I loved him dearly for it. He was a sweet boy.
With my eyes still closed, I continue dancing to the soothing song. My smile grows bigger when a section comes that tickles my musical senses. I chuckle as I twirl in my spot.
When I felt a hand come to my waist, I didn't have to open my eyes to know it was Aegon. He wouldn't have let anyone come near me at all without barking up a storm.
I hummed at the scent of him, familiar yet foreign to me at once. He must have changed his cologne. I prefer this one better. He pulls me close when I reach out to him, grabbing one of his hands and placing a palm on his shoulder. His dress shirt is softer than what I imagined it to be.
I am surprised when he leads us into a ballroom dance. In fact, I am so shocked, I open my eyes and see a blur of his white shirt and blonde hair as he spins me around.
I break into a fit of chuckles, screwing my eyes shut in pure bliss when he dips me, "I had no idea you were a dancer, pretty boy."
"Yes, well, journalists don't find it interesting enough to write about."
My eyes burst open at the sound of the deep voice.
My heart is pounding at the sight of the smirking man with silver hair. I nearly faint at the violet irises so close to mine.
"I do say," his hot breath fans on my face, "if we were spotted by one now, they'd have a field day."
I jolt upright and shove the man away. He doesn't seem to be offended by my harsh actions, and, in fact, chuckles as he reels back from my action, "not what I had expected and not the reaction I usually get, but there's a first for everything."
My breath hitches when he smiles at me. I turn from him, to Aegon, who was staring coldly from his place behind the bar. It seems the rest of the people here were doing the same as well, gobsmacked by the presence of the man in the middle of the room
I roll my shoulders back, turning to my dance partner, "Prince Daemon," I mutter, bowing my head slowly, "pardon my rudeness."
He chuckles, waving me off as he stuffs a hand in his pocket, "oh, no need to be so formal, my dear. I can understand the shock," he tilts his head at me, lips still curved, "you surely weren't expecting to be dancing with the prince and thought me to be someone else, no?"
I look at him and stare in silence. For the first time in my life, I was at a loss for words.
Everything was suddenly so real, and it was making my mind and my heart race.
Aegon watches this and clears his throat loudly.
It does not help anyone.
Daemon raises his brows at me in expectation, placing his other hand in his pocket as he leans on one leg.
I open my mouth. A second passes before I mutter, "I thought you were my pretty boy."
His lips spread into a toothy grin. Airy chuckles leave him, "I can be your pretty boy."
When he extends his hand out to me, it was like the heavens opened and I could hear the angels sing.
This was the moment I have been waiting for since that day that I came back to life and kissed him goodbye with a promise of finding him in his next one.
My breath was heavily taxed when I lifted my hand.
My soul nearly leaves me when I jolt in shock over the sound of a record scratching and jumping, repeating over and over again.
In that moment, I am hit by an epiphany. I am so overwhelmed with emotions that I could barely breathe. The sight of Daemon before me brought tears to my eyes. This was all I ever wanted, and yet-- and yet-- I was drowning. I could not breathe properly.
"I..." I shudder, making Daemon's face fall, "I have to go," I mutter through a strained breath.
Daemon knits his brows, shifting in his spot with his hand still out, "what?"
Aegon watched with tightly knit brows as I ran out of the room.
The prince drops his hand and spins on his heels, eyes locked on the runaway. His nostrils flare as his face contorts in confusion, "wait! Stop! Where are you going?!"
I heave heavily as I push past people on my way out. I am absolutely winded when I exit the establishment, hands shivering from both the cold and the nerves that were getting to me in this moment.
I walk aimlessly farther out, down to the lawn that was now dark, since it was gods-know-what hour.
"Wait!"
My heart drops.
I spin around when someone grabs my wrist. My heart is still quick in my chest when I see Daemon, heaving. His short, light hair was slightly tousled in its place. He knits his brows at me, tilting his head, "you dare leave your prince, Cinderella?"
My jaw hangs low.
He releases a sigh, shaking his head, "I forbid it."
Seeing him here and now made everything feel more Real with a capital R.
Daemon adjusts his grip on my wrist, pulling his hand back, so that he was now holding my hand.
I look at him, blinking the glassiness of my eyes away, still in shock of his presence. A million questions were running through my head, and I was glad to be able to even have the mind to ask one in this moment, "do you know me, Daemon?"
He tilts his head upon hearing this, brows knitting, lips curving. He releases a chuckle at the lack of formality and how haphazard the question was, but finds himself further drawn because of it, "no," he shakes his head, "but I would love to know you."
Hearing the words come out of his mouth shatters something in me.
He did not know me.
I turn away from him as I try to even my breath. I retreat my hand and step back as a shiver runs down my spine.
And yet here he was, chasing after me.
Daemon steps forward to make up for the space between us, "don't leave. Come back inside with me. I'll give you my coat, then you can boast that the prince of Valyria gave it to you."
I continue stepping back as I shake my head, "you don't understand," I mutter under my breath in High Valyrian.
"Then make me understand," he retorts in the same tongue with a chuckle as he shakes his head and takes a wide stride over to me, grabbing my hand again.
I gasp at the warmth of his touch. When I turn back to him, tears have finally fallen from my eyes.
Daemon's face hardens at the sight of it. His hand reaches out to my face, wiping the wetness away. The sight of his torn expression tears at me, bringing me more tears.
"Why are you crying?" he asks in High Valyrian.
I do not get to reply, as suddenly there is a loud burst from behind us, commanding both our attentions.
It's Aegon. He busted through the door with my things in his hand. Upon catching the sight of the two of us, he freezes, breathing heavily as the looks out.
Daemon's expression hardens; his grip on me tightens. He turns to me, jealousy coating his mouth when he catches I where I am looking, "is that your pretty boy?"
I do not reply to him as Aegon walks over.
Daemon pulls me close to him. I look up at him with teary eyes. Aegon looks between us, jaw tense as he hands me my bag, coat, and newspaper.
"Thank you, bartender," Daemon dismisses, patting Aegon on the shoulder, before turning from him to face me again.
When I catch Aegon's face, I finally have the wits to move.
I pull away from Daemon to put my coat on. I swallow a heavy lump in my throat at feel of the stares of the two men.
Once I have my coat on, I pull a card from my bag, handing it to Daemon. He wastes no time in taking it from me, immediately scrutinizing it.
"I'd..." I start, taking a deep breath, "like to see you again."
Daemon's eyes dart to me, breaking into a smile.
Butterflies explode in my stomach at the sight of him.
Aegon's face tenses.
I release a breath before asking, "when are you fr-"
"Whenever," Daemon blurts. He places the card in the breast pocket of his white shirt, "I'm free whenever."
I nod slowly at his words, "I have work tomorrow, but I do have a long lunch at 12-
"I'll call you a 11:55."
I purse my lips at his words, trying to hold back my chuckle, but failing, "11:55?"
Daemon grins, nodding once, "on the dot."
I chuckle, turning to my feet as I nod at his words, "11:55 then."
"On the dot," he nods, extending a hand out to rub his thumb on my cheek.
I turn to him just as Daemon pulls away and stuffs his hands back in his pockets, "I'll walk you."
I shake my head, turning to Aegon, who was still standing there, watching the whole interaction between us, "you don't have to. I have a car parked nearby."
"Then I'll walk you to your car."
I turn back to Daemon, who then offers his arm out to me. I smile, unable to deny him, or myself, of the offer. I take his arm, and the next moment, he leads us off.
I turn over my shoulder, raising a hand at Aegon while I offer him a smile, "see you, Aegon."
Aegon watches as I turn back.
There is a twisted feeling inside him that grows. He mutters softly. It is too soft for anyone but himself to hear, "see you."
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