#its his funniest trait
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AU of Lost days where Jason blew up the Batmobile before Bruce got back to it, then left without explaining or revealing himself. Every few months he comes back to town and blows it up again just to really torment the man. When Batman stops using the batmobile at all, he spices things up by blowing up one of Bruce Wayne’s cars. Really make him sweat.
#jason todd#red hood#jason todd is a menace#its his funniest trait#there's no point to this#dc#batman#bruce wayne#batfam
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none of this flirty sassy gay villain shit anymore oswald cobblepot did it RIGHT he's a huge fucking loser you've never met a weirder man he's so awkward he's a huge virgin he has the worst taste in men you've ever seen
#gotham 2014#oswald cobblepot#the penguin#oswald copplepot#OBJECTIVELY the funniest trait u can give a gay villain is shit taste in men#its so fucking funny#whatever makes u happy bbg but he killed his girlfriend
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We can bring back Peacemaker disobeying orders but only the funny ones by having his arc in doom patrol end with like his random superior officer telling him he cant go fight the doom patrol on his own or something and then he immediately shoots the guy in the head and goes off to get beat up by Cliff
#Doom Patrol writer are you listening.#And Cliff like rips his head off or something because this run seems so fucking mean#I do think Peacemaker seeming like a good army boy who relies on authority until someone tells him not to kill people is#like his funniest trait it NEEDS to come back#Nobody realizes Peacemaker doesnt actually care that much until its too late and hes like#ripping the comms out of his helicopter and throwing it into the ocean so he can go shoot at the suicide squad
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Hii!! minghao + "oh really?" / "yes, really." / "lying doesn't suit you, sweetheart." from the prompts enemies to lovers? :D
— rush hour ⟢
pairing: minghao x reader
summary: you used to be good friends with the newest dancer in your agency, but your competitiveness gets the better of you when he overtakes your spot as the top performer of the month—for three straight months.
word count: 6.7k words
tags: enemies to lovers, dancer au? unresolved sexual tension, smut
warnings: promiscuous behavior in public, graphic sexual content (minors dni!!)
notes: this . got really REALLY long :D like long enough to have its own header and everything LOL it probably helps that hao has been clawing his way back into my bias line these days, so the brain rot kinda just spilled out,, anyway, thank you sm for sending this in!! i hope you like it :3c
smut tags: porn with some plot ig, public sex, vaginal fingering, exhibitionism, hao is kinky as fuck, dirty talk, degradation
svt taglist: @wonderfulshinee - @misssugarlips - @yourfavoritefreakyhan - @jeanjacketjesus - @just-here-to-read-01 - @hanihans - @venusrae - @taestrwbrry - @minnie-mouser22 - @dreamhannies - @thvhannie - @kkooongie - @gae-uls - @lenireads - @gaebestie - @ryusha-rose - @enhacolor - @ilyvern - @woo8hao - @spk93 - @tommolex
minghao taglist: @zeenanigans - @renjunphile - @pluviophile-xxx
Saying that you hate Xu Minghao is a bit of an overstatement.
After all, you were the one assigned to show him the ropes when he was accepted into the agency. While you’re no professional mentor, you like to think he was able to rely on you during those first few weeks. He’s been in Seoul for a better part of two years, and although his Korean can already pass as a native’s, you knew he still struggled every now and again. It’s a good thing that verbal communication isn’t direly needed in your line of work.
Minghao was an excellent dancer—one of the best you’ve seen with your own eyes. You once took pride in having a budding prodigy like him as an understudy. Whatever steps or routines you’d ask him to try out and make his own, not only will he deliver, but he’ll blow your expectations out of the water while he’s at it, too.
It doesn’t help that he knows his own body well enough to channel each movement with passion that makes him look alluring to everyone who dares to watch any of his performances. Minghao isn’t vain or conceited or anything like that, but he’s completely aware of how attractive he is, and that’s a trait that’s further amplified by his dancing.
You suppose the funniest part about this senior-junior relationship you have with him is how he always asks for your input about his routines. Even if Minghao has long proved that he doesn’t even need a pseudo-mentor like you, he still takes the time to hear out whatever you have to say—eager eyes always shining every time you indulge him with an answer.
Another thing that inevitably brought the two of you closer is the fact that you both take the same train and get off at the same station. Your apartment is in a different neighborhood from his, but you find comfort in the newfound company you’ve been given since Minghao’s arrival. Though he doesn’t talk much outside discussions about work and other dance-related topics, having someone familiar to sit right next to you on the train is more than enough to quell the day’s fatigue.
Your other colleagues sometimes voice out their envious comments jokingly—saying that you’re extremely lucky to have such a hot guy as constant company. Almost always, you respond with a vigorous shake of your head before insisting that things between you and Minghao aren’t at all like that. Besides, you know better than to nurse a romantic relationship between your colleagues. You wouldn’t even let yourself have a crush on any of them.
What they don’t know, however, is that on very rare occasions when your body feels just a little too heated, and your sheets a few threads too thick, it’s Minghao that flits into your mind as your hesitant fingers reach between your thighs.
You touch yourself to the thought of him taking you in one of the dance studios. Specifically, in front of the full-stretch mirrors as he fucks you from behind. You imagine him whispering how good you are for him, how you’re taking his cock so, so well.
Subverting the mere image of the kind man who constantly seeks your validation for his performance has you creaming on your own fingers within minutes, and if you weren’t such a terrible person, you would’ve felt bad for thinking about him in such an obscene light.
Then again, what Minghao doesn’t know won’t kill him.
His first month in the agency comes and goes like the changing seasons. Next thing you know, it’s time for monthly evaluations again.
While others would usually dread these assessments, you looked forward to them. You know that they’re less a measure of talent, and more a measure of hard work. Sure, talent could be one of the main driving factors of getting a high score, but you know better than anyone else that talent is nothing if you don’t work hard enough to cultivate it.
That’s the kind of mindset that always landed you in the top of the rankings for every monthly evaluation.
And it’s the same mindset that puts you immediately beneath Minghao.
The agency is always prompt with the release of the results. They’d post the typewritten scores next to the dancers’ names in the bulletin board at the ground floor cafeteria for everyone to see two days after the monthly evaluation.
It was a bit of a challenge to squeeze past the other dancers to get a good look at this month’s results—the crowd being more chatty than usual. Your closer friends insisted that you’d be number one as usual, and that you didn’t have to check at all.
Part of you wants to believe them, but the unsettling feeling that pools in the pit of your stomach doesn’t let you become complacent. It doesn’t help that everyone around you seems like they’re sneaking glances your way—only to look away when you try to catch their gaze.
When you finally make it to the front of the board, you notice that Minghao is already there—already dressed to kill for today’s sets and routines. His black hair is still damp like he just got out of the shower and rushed straight to work, eyes glued to the bulletin board. You would’ve let your gaze linger a bit longer on his gorgeous face, had it not been for the surprise that awaits you on that single sheet of paper plastered right in front of you.
1. Xu Minghao — 100 points
Your vision tunnels in, white noise ringing in your ears.
You could vaguely make out the characters of your name just below Minghao’s, and just a few points from a perfect score. But you didn’t care about that. All you could focus on was the fact that you’ve been kicked out of a spot that’s been yours for as long as you can remember.
No wonder the others were buzzing amongst themselves, flashing you brief looks before whispering their thoughts on the matter to the nearest willing ear. Not a single soul has ever garnered a hundred fucking points from monthly evaluations. The evaluators cut no corners when it came to assessing their dancers’ level of skill and technique, and seeing how they deigned to give Minghao, a complete newbie, a perfect goddamned score—
“Congratulations, bro!”
“Minghao, you’re a fucking beast! How long did you even practice?”
“That’s so cool. No one’s ever gotten a perfect hundred before.”
“You’ve gotta tell us the secret, please!”
Like a bunch of bees, the collective of dancers start to crowd Minghao—giving him congratulatory gestures and greetings alike. Your understudy simply gazes at them as if in a daze, but ever-so slowly, a smile cracks through his typically stoic demeanor.
“Uh, thank you…?”
He’s whisked away to the cafeteria before you can blink, and you can only watch in shocked desolation as they all usher themselves away from the board.
Away from you.
You don’t miss the way Minghao tries to catch your gaze in the midst of it all, the smile he showcased for everyone to see falling the moment he realized you’re still rooted in place. Yet he doesn’t try to break free from the crowd, nor does he attempt to call your name out loud.
Not that you have any plans on answering if he did.
It’s only after today’s session has concluded that Minghao manages to pull you to the side for a conversation. You’re already halfway out of the building when he catches you, and you can tell that the sheer euphoria of knowing you came out on top is still humming in his veins.
It pisses you off.
“Thank you,” he says simply.
“For what?” You try not to sound too gruff, but the pensiveness in your voice comes out anyway. “Letting you take my spot?”
Minghao’s grin dips into a grimace—mirroring his expression from earlier. “What? I meant to say thank you for showing me the ropes. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have—hey!”
You’re probably being immature. No, you’re definitely being immature. Instead of accepting Minghao’s gratitude like a normal fucking person, you continue brisk-walking to the building’s entrance without letting him finish. Of course, he chases after you, asking if he did anything wrong or if you’re simply in a bad mood or both.
You don’t answer him even when he continues pestering you on the way to the train station, and he doesn’t stop despite the lack of responses from your end. It’s beginning to get on your nerves, too, because he was never this goddamn pushy during all those times you went home together. What’s stopping him from being the quiet companion he’s always been?
“Can you just shut the fuck up, Hao?” you end up snapping at him when you finally get off at your shared station—earning yourself a bunch of questioning looks from nearby commuters. “You don’t have to fucking rub it in anymore than you have. I already know the results, okay?!”
“Rubbing what in?” he asks, exasperated. “I’m just asking you what’s wrong because you don’t normally act this way. Is it so bad for me to worry about my friend?”
“Friend?” you echo mirthlessly. “No fucking friend of mine takes away what belongs to me.”
This time, when you storm off, Minghao doesn’t follow you.
Fortunately, that all happened on a Friday. It takes you the entire weekend after that heated encounter at the train station to realize that maybe you went a little overboard with what you said to Minghao.
As you replay your conversation in your head, you’re filled with a crippling sense of embarrassment. The top spot for monthly evaluations belongs only to the best—you know this better than anyone else. The only reason that the evaluators deemed you as a second placer is because Minghao is that proficient in his dancing.
You’re one of the people who was able to watch him closest. You’ve seen the work he put into practice firsthand. You even called him a prodigy.
So why did you make a fool out of yourself by having a meltdown at the fact that you got beaten by someone who obviously worked harder than you did?
Hard work beats talent any day. But Minghao has both honed to perfection.
If you’re going to reclaim your rightful spot on the top, crying about it is the last thing you should do. You’re going to have to put in double the effort to call yourself worthy.
As expected, Minghao has started to distance himself from you after that spat. You don’t blame him. As much as you wanted to apologize for your behavior that night, you wouldn’t want to remain friends with a sore loser if you were in his shoes.
But as his second month in the agency breezes past, you notice that, not only has he distanced himself, but he’s become somewhat…hostile.
He treats everyone else the same way since he came in—stoically with a few words of affirmation here and there. You, though? It’s almost like he’s forgotten all about the time you were assigned to look after him. There’s always this cockiness lingering in his eyes that grates at your nerves more than you thought it would. He’d throw you haughty glances whenever he catches you flubbing some parts of the choreography from the corner of his eye.
The worst part is that Minghao is more vocal now compared to when he first came in—not seeing any problem with pointing out how you’re starting to slack off during practice.
“How are you expecting yourself to take back the crown when you’re already breathless after such a simple routine?” he gloats when he catches you lingering by the water fountain, lips curved into a smirk.
You glare at him while you take a sip from your water bottle. “Fuck you. I’ve been rehearsing all fucking day. Who wouldn’t be tired?”
“People who rank first in monthly evals,” he says boredly. “Oh, but you wouldn’t know about that, now would you? At least, not anymore.”
You’re so fucking close to tearing his face off with your own fingernails that you’re slightly grateful that Minghao gets called back onto the dancefloor to polish his group’s routine. Minghao’s constitution changes in a flash—that arrogant look he reserves for you alone making way for his usual aloof expression while he makes his way back.
He always looks cool and amicable to others, but when no one’s looking he makes sure you catch the patronizing tilt of his lips whenever he pulls off some high level choreography with zero mistakes. As if to remind you that you’re never going to take back what he stole from you. Not in a million years.
Okay. Maybe you do hate Xu Minghao.
You hate him a fucking lot.
…
Minghao proves that the results he reaped from his first month in the agency are no fluke.
For three consecutive months, you’re forced to stand in front of the cafeteria’s bulletin board with his name plastered on the very top. If you hadn’t known better, you would’ve thought that the evaluators were only editing the month indicated on top of the sheet with how stagnant the results always are.
The agency’s rising star consistently comes out on top with little to no effort, while you’re desperately clawing your way back to glory at second place.
You didn’t know what the fucking deal was. You worked your ass off twenty four-seven. Even if you weren’t in the studio, you made sure to study all sorts of routines and choreographies so your body would remember the movements deep into your bones.
But then you remember that even if hard work beats talent, you can never beat a man who has both at his disposal.
You’re at your wits’ end at this point—so close to giving up on the title you thought would always belong to you. Your evasive behavior did you no favors in maintaining a good reputation among your colleagues either. If you listened to their hushed conversations closely enough, you’d catch them saying how pathetic you’re being. Ostracizing yourself all because you’re insecure that your understudy became your adversary.
The only reason you hate what they’re saying about you behind your back is because all of it is true.
Your usual group of friends doesn’t sit with you at your usual table at the cafeteria anymore, but you don’t really mind that—learning this late into your career that silence can be more beneficial than it seems. But every time you see Minghao laughing at a joke told by one of your colleagues, you can’t help but feel that familiar bite of resentment you’ve come to associate with everything he does.
If only he didn’t overtake you during his first goddamn month here. If only he wasn’t the one assigned to be your understudy. Maybe the blow to your pride wouldn’t have been this bad. Maybe you wouldn’t be licking your wounds in your loneliness.
Maybe you wouldn’t have lost a friend you actually liked having around.
…
With an upcoming dance competition, it’s no surprise that the dancers at your agency often stay behind to polish their performances to perfection. Usually, practices would adjourn hours before the sun even sets, but these days, you find yourself exiting the building no earlier than nine PM.
The excessive practice time has been taking a toll on you—this much you know. Your muscles have been sore for days, and no amount of painkillers and Salonpas can easily cure your affliction right away. So for tonight, you decide to take it easy—packing up once the clock hits six o’clock. The last thing you want is to accidentally pull something you shouldn’t, thus rendering your participation in the competition null and void.
But as you walk towards the train station, you realize that perhaps staying later was a smarter move after all. All around you, commuters of all ages and walks of life brush past you in their haste—the need to arrive home as soon as possible like a cloud on everybody’s heads. The closer you got to the station, the more it dawned on you.
It’s fucking rush hour.
You’ve always avoided going home during this time for two reasons. The first is the influx of commuters that’s literally and figuratively too suffocating to deal with, especially when your physical constitution isn’t in the best shape.
The second is…because you noticed that, ever since your platonic breakup, Minghao has started leaving the studio at this hour. Later than your previous commutes home, but earlier than your new work-yourself-to-the-bone schedule. Sure, he’s still the biggest fucking prick to walk the earth whenever he feels like taunting you during practice, but he doesn’t seem interested in working overtime.
If you’re being completely honest, you’re over the monthly evaluation results. Honest! You’ve just come to accept that nothing is ever set in stone.
Things change all the time. Humans used to believe the earth was flat. The Athenians once thought of Plato’s bullshit as the gospel truth, and—
You dared to assume you’ll be on top of the world forever.
What happened months ago was a reality check, and slowly but surely, you’re relearning the difference between ambitious and obnoxious. It’s a humbling experience that you’re honestly grateful for happening because…if it weren’t for that harsh reminder that there’ll always be someone out there who’s better than you, then you wouldn’t strive to improve at all.
You let out a quaint sigh when you settle into the train. As expected, tonight’s commuters have filled it out to complete capacity, and you wouldn’t have caught the last available space near the doors if you hadn't sprinted like a madman. Though your aching muscles practically scream in complaint, you comfort yourself with the promise of a long soak in your bathtub the moment you get home.
The smooth tone of the announcer’s voice rings from the overhead speakers, telling all passengers to step away from the doors, as the train is about to leave. Not that any of you can help it. You’re all packed like sardines in what’s usually a pretty spacious train car if you came in just an hour earlier or later.
All of a sudden, you find yourself missing those days where you’d sit on the side where you could see the sunset breezing past the windows—listening to the stories of someone you can’t even hold a civilized conversation with anymore. But before that train of thought can progress any further, you shake your head as if the mere gesture alone can dispel your longing.
You try to press yourself back to avoid getting crushed by the automatic doors, muttering a quiet apology to the person behind you since you ended up subsequently squeezing him further into the crowd of cramped passengers. When the doors finally close, you hear him say a quick it’s okay, back at you, you’re forced to whip around in the limited space with your mouth agape.
Right behind you is Xu Minghao, looking just as distressed as you are.
He’s changed out of his usual practice clothes—having exchanged it for an oversized crewneck and sweats. His expensive headphones hang unused around his neck, and you wonder if you wouldn’t have noticed each other if only he was blasting music directly into his ears…
The urge to take back your courteous apology is strong, but you would much rather not give him any more of your energy than you already have. You’d take all his insults and badmouthing head-on in the studio, but it’s been a really long day, and you don’t have enough fire going to extend his hostility inside a crowded train in the middle of rush hour.
“Why’re you out so early?”
You can feel gooseflesh prickle the skin of your shoulders when you feel Minghao’s breath next to your ear. A glare settles between your eyes as you jolt away from him in the limited space that affords you to do so.
“Watch it, asshole. You’re way too close for comfort,” you hiss. “And the time I go home is none of your business.”
Minghao shrugs. “I dunno, you always stay late to practice. Is it so bad to be curious?”
“Yeah, because if it hasn’t occurred to you yet, I actually hate your guts, and I don’t appreciate you talking to me like we’re friends.”
He falls silent for a moment, and in the next moment the train lurches into motion—nearly catching you off balance. You’re quick to brace a hand against the door, but you startle again when you feel a large hand around your arm, touching you in a way that’s meant to steady. You spare Minghao another glance, but there’s less vitriol laced in your gaze and more confusion.
“Are we…” he whispers, gaze shied away from yours as he maintains a steady grip on your arm. Then, he gulps. “Are we not friends anymore?”
Again, you scowl.
Is he being real with you right now?
“Dude, I am completely over the monthly evaluations if you think that’s the reason I’m being the way I am with you,” you hiss. “I was going to apologize after I said all that hurtful stuff in the past. But then you went ahead and started writing your very own villain arc. So, ask yourself: were you even my friend at all, Hao?”
The sound of that nickname making its way past your lips is familiar yet foreign at the same time. During these past few months, you’ve never once called Minghao anything else but asshole, dick, jerk, self-centered punk, and other variations of those words. You don’t want to admit it, but calling him by something that’s close to an endearment makes you feel like there’s cotton sticking to the roof of your mouth.
Minghao doesn’t respond yet again, and you force yourself to face forward—leaning your head against the glass of the door so you wouldn’t have to look back at him anymore. You’re pretty sure the salaryman right next to you has been eavesdropping on your conversation this entire time, but it’s not like he has any other choice given the circumstances.
You let the constant whir of the train engine lull you into a calmer disposition, heartbeat finally equalizing after everything you just shot at Minghao. That’s probably the most you’ve said to him all month, and to say that you’re not the least bit embarrassed about how you admitted wanting to apologize for a past transgression is a blatant lie.
But what’s done is done. You’re just going to have to accept the fact that the man you once thought of as a good friend; the same man who’s now the main antagonist of your life and career, is standing behind you in your rush hour commute. Just twenty minutes more, and he’ll be out of your hair soon.
Much to your delight, Minghao keeps his mouth shut until the train pulls over at the next station. The doors open with a mechanical ding, accompanied by the announcer's voice yet again. You’ve heard the monologue thousands of times, but you don’t quite hear it over the throng of passengers rushing to get off the train.
You make way for them by scooting towards the back of the car, and Minghao does the same. But instead of shuffling away from you the moment there’s more room to move around like you thought he would, he lingers closely to your form.
However, the amount of people that got off on this station is quickly replenished by a new horde of passengers—quickly filling in the space you thought would last for at least a few more stations. Once again, you find yourself slowly being squeezed closer to the corner of the car, but for some reason, Minghao wedges himself between you and the unassuming college boy whose wireless earphones are plugged in as he scrolls through his phone.
When you realize what he’s trying to do, you say, “You don’t have to protect me or anything. I’m fine on my own.”
Minghao rolls his eyes. “You obviously didn’t see how you looked like you’re about to get crushed. Just thank me and we’re good.”
A biting retort is already resting on your tongue with how passive-aggressive that response of his sounds like. What the hell is his problem? It’s not like you asked for him to shield you from the other passengers.
And yet…
“Thanks, I guess.”
You watch him visibly stiffen at your words, and you feel your heart slamming into your ribcage the moment you utter them. Did you really just thank the same man who’s been making your life at work a living hell for months?
The train starts to pick up speed again before you can answer that yourself.
You practically glare at the corner you’ve been forced into the entire trip to the next station. Minghao is right behind you, but you can’t be assed to worry about that when you’re chewing your lip out of frustration. Part of you feels relieved that you swallowed your pride and thanked him, but the part that’s been receiving the brunt of his antagonism for the past half year hisses in disagreement.
He’s an asshole. He’s a self-centered prick that uses people as stepping stones. He’s—
“...Sorry.”
You refuse to turn around. You refuse to believe that he’s actually—
“I’m sorry for being a jerk to you,” Minghao murmurs, and you feel his fingers graze your shoulder as if to emphasize the words with the sincerity of his touch. “I just… I didn’t know how to act when you lashed out at me back then. Y-You were my only friend, and I thought you’d be proud that I achieved something after working so hard for an entire month.”
You’re at a loss for words, completely stunned by the honesty in his voice. You’ve only known Minghao for a short while—been on good terms with him for even shorter—but you can always tell whenever he’s lying.
This is not one of those times.
“A…friend of mine told me that I tend to act based on how I’m treated,” he continues. “I know that doesn’t excuse how I’ve been acting around you for so long, but… I guess when I got the hint that you hated me, the only way I could cope with that is to hate you right back. Even if I really didn’t.”
No. This isn't real. You’re dreaming. This is probably a side-effect from all those late hours you’ve spent in the studio—
You let out a soft squeak when you feel him rest his forehead against the back of your head, sighing so deeply, it makes you wonder how long he’s been thinking about apologizing properly. Minghao grips your arms again, not to help maintain your balance, but more to anchor himself onto his own.
“I don’t care if everyone else in the studio looks at me like I’m some sort of god on the dancefloor,” he admits, voice so quiet, you could barely hear him. “The only person I’d want to look at me is you.”
Your breath hitches, and you’re sure he hears it.
“Can we please go back to normal again?” Minghao pleads. “I miss hearing your comments about my dances. I miss going home together.
“I miss you.”
The sincerity in his voice singes through you like a red-hot iron poker. You don’t know what to say, what to feel. All you can focus on is the stuttering breaths Minghao takes from behind you.
If you’ve ever imagined reconciling with him, this certainly isn’t the most optimal venue. But now that he’s bared his defenses, you don’t see any benefit to keeping up your own.
“I’m…sorry and I missed you, too,” you admit somewhat sheepishly, thanking the higher deities up there that he can’t see the way your blood rushes to your cheeks. “But I don’t really know how to—”
Your sentence is cut off mid-way when the train abruptly runs into a bump on the tracks, forcing Minghao’s body against yours when he momentarily loses his footing. It’s an accident, and you wouldn’t have minded since some turbulence in this part of the city isn't rare at all. But that split second where Minghao got thrown against you from the impact made you all too cognizant of how thin the material of both your skirt and his sweatpants are.
“Sorry, sorry,” Minghao sighs before bracing an arm towards one of the walls to your left. The rustle of his clothes gives rise to the scent of his cologne wafting to your nostrils—a fresh, not-too-musky aroma that makes your head spin despite.
Just your luck, the train pitches to the side and you feel Minghao’s groin brush against your ass once again. This time, you’re not strong enough to hold down the soft whimper that tumbles out of your lips, and you don’t even feel ashamed about it.
Suddenly, you remember a time from back then where you’d spend your nights getting off to the same man who’s unknowingly sparking your arousal in the unlikeliest of places. You’ve once fucked yourself to the thought of him, so what’s the use with getting embarrassed now? As long as he doesn’t know, you should be fine.
Except Minghao isn’t deaf, and he definitely picked up on that suggestive little noise you just made.
Experimentally, he lets one of his hands dip lower and lower until his fingertips brush the hem of your skirt. That sinfully short skirt that keeps riding up your thighs every time you do a rather bold move during practice. His eyes are completely trained on you even if you’re still facing the corner, and when he feels you shiver, all the blood in his system rushes down south.
“You’re into this?” Minghao chuckles, bracing his hands on your hips before sliding his growing arousal against the ridge of your ass. “My… I didn’t think mending our friendship again would go this swimmingly. How about I take you out to dinner first?”
“Hao!” you chastise him with a poisonous look, but from the way you subtly rock your hips in time with his movements, Minghao can tell that dinner is the last thing on your mind right now.
He chuckles softly, keeping one hand steady on your hip while the other dips beneath your skirt again. When his fingers immediately press down against the gusset of your underwear, Minghao has to bite down a groan because of the wet patch that’s already accumulated at the center.
“Not only did you ditch your shorts, but you’re already this wet? From a little grinding?” he hisses into your ear. “Needy fucking slut.”
You can’t help the way your pussy clenches at the harsh name he just called you. It’s all so strange. You never once reacted this way whenever he called you a bitch or anything similar, but you suppose when you’ve made amends with a friend you’ve secretly been wanting to fuck since you first laid your eyes on him, there’s no use keeping up any charades.
“Your hatred was all just an act, isn’t it?” he laughs, nudging your underwear to the side so he can get a feel of just how wet you areas you spread your legs to accommodate him. “Do you rile me up on purpose because you can’t deal with the fact that you actually want me?”
"You're delusional," you bite back.
"Oh, really?"
"Yes, really."
Another low laugh rumbles in his chest and you swear you don't get wetter with each hum of it as he presses closer to your ear. "Lying doesn't suit you, sweetheart."
You’re about to answer him when the announcer’s voice rings from the speakers yet again, saying that the next station is approximately five minutes away. This promptly rips you out of your lustful haze as you realize you’re very much still in public, where dozens upon dozens of passengers still share the same car with the both of you. Minghao seems to pick up on your split-second realization, but doesn’t seem fazed by the idea of getting caught doing this in the presence of strangers.
“Lots of passengers are going to get off at the next station, but not a lot are going to get on like the last one,” he whispers before plunging two of his fingers into your sopping cunt without warning.
You have to physically cover your mouth with your hand to keep yourself from gasping out loud. When you turn to look at Minghao again, eyes ablaze with disbelief, he simply flashes you an evil smile.
“If you want to come on my fingers, do it in five minutes, whore.”
The sensation of his long, slender digits curling inside you forces you to brace yourself against your tiny little corner of that train car. Your skin prickles everywhere as Minghao grinds his half-hard cock against your backside, all while he works between your pussy lips as if he’s thought about it dozens of times before.
His digits dip in and out of your entrance like he doesn’t know what he wants to do first. Poke and prod at every inch of sensitive flesh there is or fuck you until you’re a moaning mess for everyone to see. Either way, you’re panting all while Minghao maps the expanse of your pussy with his touch alone, and every time those sinful fingers brush against your clit, you jolt in response.
“Shh,” he coos. “Don’t be too obvious, sweetheart. Wouldn’t want the entire train knowing how much of an impatient fucking slut you are—whoring all over my fingers ‘cause you can’t wait to get off the train.”
You involuntarily clench at his filthy words, begrudgingly unearthing a kink you didn’t even know you had. But at the mere mention of the other passengers, you let your eyes frantically pass over those nearby. You don’t know if they’re really preoccupied on their phones or pretending not to notice the act of indecency that’s happening right beneath their noses. The college boy that almost crushed you earlier is still banging his head to whatever song is playing on his phone, and you take that as a sign to let yourself go.
“Now that won’t do,” Minghao tuts before sliding his fingers back inside you, nudging your thighs even further apart before curling his digits just so. “How can you come in five minutes if you’re so distracted?”
“F-Fuck,” you whine as quietly as you can. “Hao, f-feels so good.”
“Yeah?” he laughs softly and your vision goes black for a moment when you feel his thumb graze your clit with just the right pressure. Just how dextrous can he be? “Then focus on my fingers, sweetheart. If you can’t come before the train arrives at the next station, maybe I’ll just go back to hating you tomorrow after all.”
You nearly choke on a moan when he starts to rub your sensitive nub in varying pressures and speeds, nearly robbing you of your ability to speak. “You’re a f-fucking asshole, you know that?”
“You’re a fucking bitch, but see where that got you now?”
It’s almost like you’re hard-wired to rebut everything he says, and you have all those months of shared antagonism to thank for it. But when Minghao crooks his fingers at a slightly different angle, your already sore legs nearly give out when his fingers hit you deep enough to make stars dance in the seams of your vision.
“Oh?” He sounds so smug, you actually want to hit him. “There it is.”
You can hardly believe it. You can barely find your own g-spot even on good days if you don’t put your back into using your toys right, yet Minghao got it in less than five minutes, inside a train full of passengers, no less?
Your brain has all but fizzled out when the pads of his fingers start to massage that sweet, sweet spot inside of you again—milking your body for all those lovely reactions you’re so willing to give to him. Minghao’s cock is an ever-present weight against your ass, but this isn’t about him. It’s about you, and how badly he wants to feel you come apart on his fingers right here, right now.
“You liked being fingered on the train, sweetheart?” Minghao rasps into your ear, relentless in his movements as tears start to line your lashes. “Like it when you supposedly hate the man that’s doing this to you? That’s made you this fucking wet?”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You’d let him stick his dick into you right now if he wanted, but you know that Minghao isn’t going to risk that just yet. So instead, you focus on the sensation of those skillful fingers—the same ones you’ve dreamt about a long time ago—coaxing out a high you never thought you’d achieve outside the four corners of your bedroom.
You can think about his stroke game later. Those powerful thighs as he thrusts into you. Not to mention how euphoric it would feel to come around his cock, milking him for that white-hot release until it dribbles down your thighs and he inevitably fucks it all back into you—
The stimulation of Minghao’s dexterous digits coupled with the thrill of being caught are the main players for today’s debauchery, but it’s that particular fantasy that pushes you over the edge.
One moment, you feel like you’re on top of the world again, and the next you can taste blood in your mouth with how hard you bite against your lip to muffle your moans. A gush of slick coats Minghao’s fingers as he helps you ride out of your orgasm, peppering the side of your face with butterfly kisses.
“Pretty little whore, coming in record time,” he chuckles.
You can barely just start taming your breathing when Minghao takes his fingers out of your panties—tugging your skirt down back to semi-decency before prodding those same fingers against your lips. Still dazed from the high he just let you experience, you open your mouth, lathering your tongue against each digit as the tangy taste of you fills your tastebuds.
“Good fucking girl.”
The train eases into the next station, and just as Minghao predicted, the car frees up just enough for you to get comfortably seated by the windows again. He sits right next to you the whole time—hand never straying from yours as he holds it firmly in his. For some reason, that gesture of his flusters you more than the stunt he just pulled five minutes ago.
When you both get off the vehicle, the awkwardness begins to settle in your system. You don’t know what you’re supposed to say to him after all of...that. Is there even a protocol to follow after getting finger-fucked on public transportation?
“Hey.”
You startle when Minghao breathes out while the two of you make your way out of the station. It’s the first time he’s broken the silence since arriving, and your heart pounds in anticipation of what he’s about to say next.
“I really am sorry for all the shit I said to you these past few months,” he sighs, rubbing the back of his head like he’s just as clueless about what to do as you are.
You blink up at him. “Um, yeah. You already told me, Hao.”
“I just figured it was worth repeating.”
“Giving me a mindblowing orgasm is a good enough apology on its own, you know.”
He stops walking for a moment, and you look back at him with brows raised.
“Really now?” he asks, and—there’s that smirk again. That no good smirk. “I don’t think I’ve received a ‘good enough apology’ from you yet, sweetheart.”
One glance at his sweats, and sure enough, the evidence of his own raging arousal is still up for grabs. You feel your pussy tingle at the mere thought of what’s to come once you voice out your agreement, even if your overworked muscles are begging for a break.
Oh, well. Might as well stock up on more painkillers on the way.
⟢ end notes: i really really REALLY went overboard on this one and there isn't even any piv sex in action holy fucking shit LMFAO TT to lovely user yourfavoritefreakyhan, i hope i didn't scare you off with the word count JSHFD I REALLY JUST GOT CARRIED AWAY AHAHS hao has been testing me for DAYS and it manifested in this . anyway, pls don't expect every request from my ask game to turn out this fucking long bc this rly was just a heat of the moment creation AJSDHSJHF
#svthub#seventeen smut#seventeen fanfic#the8 smut#minghao smut#seventeen x reader#minghao x reader#lovelyhan#🎲 ask games#yourfavoritefreakyhan#🐇 500#full length fic 📚#💭 request
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The funniest part about CV-8's map design for me is how terrified Clip Cliff is of Ebenholz.
Clip Cliff's skillset appears painstakingly designed to deal with just about every notorious S-tier boss-cheeser in Arknights. The 6x shot will instantly kill Mlynar (who has a taunt and so cannot hide behind a Defender), while its stun will handle Surtr (who will die on her own eventually). At 2500 DEF and 60 RES Yato and Texas can barely scratch him, while his DEF stats are far too high for a buffed Exusiai to gun him down. Typhon should be able to handle him with her S3, but the sheer amount of targets on stage and Cliff's tendency to walk down in the very middle dilutes the efficiency of her limited shots.
However, these traits alone don't solve a Random Ebenholz Event. Even if he were to target Ebenholz, Ebenholz would land his attack first. He has 60 RES, but as we've seen from the likes of Eblana, 60 RES can't save you from a full buff army Ebenholz strat.
So what does Cliff do? Hide.
4 out of 5 enemies, Cliff included, are Elites. Bosses very rarely hide behind Elite minions due to being the power unit that's supposed to push with the trash themselves, but Ebenholz's S3 has oneshot many a boss that's tried to charge forward without serious backup.
Cliff came prepared. He (Hypergryph) watched all the videos about how players have killed all the past bosses in order to be able to provide an actual challenge, including circumventing the one way Ebenholz singles out bosses by promoting all his dudes into elites.
Some of his guys may die in a sudden and painful blast of instantaneous 80k Arts damage, but that's a risk he's willing to take.
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digging into the little avatars that some riders have.... all of them are so cute and representative of their riders... im only gonna talk about a few here but i might add more later !
vale: cartoony turtle. the first to do this as far as i can tell! originated from a toy turtle (i think a teenage mutant ninja turtle lmao) that his mom gave him as a kid that he mounted on his helmet. classiccccc vale, very ironic and tongue-in-cheek, tattooed on his body in the funniest place possible, and of course the joke relies on the audience knowing that he's the fastest dude in the room ! very in-character choices all
marc: fire ant. he said i am tiny. he said i am SMALL. he said i am fierce and strong for my size... not a classically fierce choice but nonetheless makes a lot of sense to me ! also very funny that the intial design for the ant was made by vale's helmet guy, though i think he's moved towards the sharper design in recent years post-divorce and the legal stuff with its image rights... fun post about marc choosing it as his mascot by @frongsonabike here (also a very deeply catalan choice, according to @babynflames !)
bez: scorpion !!!!! this man is undeniably keyed into astrology lmao. hes a scorpio and he LOVESSSS IT. absolutely fascinating implications for his character on that, considering scorpios are a sign that catches a lot of flack. like. he looked at a list of scorpio traits and said omg me fr i need to convert this into a branding opportunity...
cele. the WAVEEE literally iconic to me. fits him SO well imo. serene. immutable. undeniably and probably unintentionally hilarious when used as punctuation. my favorite of these in the graphic design sense and i love that he changed FUCK ALL about it design-wise when he moved to KTM. also very cute that the 13 on his bike looks like the bottom of a pool!
fabio. el diablo !!! very fun considering i think hes the biggest lover boy on the grid but hes also FASTTT so i get it, its baddass etc. i DO think he would prefer the devil emoji on instagram to be red but that has been cruelly denied from him by apple.
#theres more... i think its fun that enea's is a more amorphous 'beast' character...#jorge lorenzo CLEARLY working through some masculinity issues with the spartan (gay ass...) and dani as a honda boy with the samurai...#i think its fun!#and also interesting when you consider who DOESNT have a mascot or like. really complicated helmet designs...#like luca or alex. or people who have developed the artistic stuff as theyve grown older like pecco.#his helmet is wayyy more complex this year its NEAT#motogp#callie speaks
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cyno x gn!reader
There are three unspoken rules every scholar in the Akademiya must know regarding Lord Cyno.
Firstly, no matter how bad it is, always laugh at his jokes. Do not, under any circumstances, ask him to explain the joke. Everyone will be forced to listen to an hour long analysis on what the joke is, why it’s funny, and how the sentences leading to the punchline were timed just right that it would—should—leave everyone in hysterics and gasping for breath.
Second, playing the trading card game with him will lead to varying results, usually ones that end up with the other party crying as they leave the table without their pride and dignity. Approach with caution when he has those cards in his hands.
And last, but the most important rule of all, never—and they mean never—speak of your name in a bad light. Anyone who does so can and will be found no matter the place and ears listening, and they will be forced to endure a twelve hour long lecture about the positive traits you possess and how amazing you are in general. It may seem innocuous, but throughout the entire lecture, Lord Cyno will be staring through the poor unfortunate soul and daring them to dispute his claims.
Should anyone be foolish enough as to openly mock you in front of him, they will be met with a polearm to the face and a lifetime’s worth of punishments in the form of only being allotted one hour to do every paper they will ever be assigned to make for the rest of their time as a scholar. If, under any circumstances, the scholar is unable to keep up with their deadlines, they will be kicked out of the Akademiya and labeled as a failure in society.
That one is, in fact, one of the lesser punishments Lord Cyno has met out when it comes to people insulting you with regards to your… less than average intelligence and social awareness. The harsher punishments are not for the faint of heart, and so most senior scholars resolve not to tell the new students what transpires when someone bullies you or—Archons forbid—makes you cry.
There’s a saying in the Akademiya: the fastest way to the Abyss is to make tears appear in your eyes.
It’s no exaggeration to say that the last person who did so was last seen without any light in their eyes. This is not to say that they died, no. They were, according to Lord Cyno’s words, justly and rightly punished for their transgressions against you. Perhaps he went a bit too far, but who are mere scholars to question the judgment of the General Mahamatra?
However cautious they have to be around you, there is one important thing you bring to the table: the secret fourth rule that’s more of an of advice than anything. A secret that’s passed through word of mouth, given to only those they deem worthy.
The easiest way to getting to Lord Cyno’s good graces—and, consequently, an easy path to graduating the Akademiya—is to make you laugh. An easy feat at first glance, but considering your strange humor (as proven by how you’re the only one who genuinely laughs at Cyno’s jokes), it takes a great many nights and brainstorming sessions to find the perfect joke.
But making you laugh poses its own risks. It is common fact among those in-the-know that making you laugh too hard would be a one way trip to marking them as enemy number one in the General Mahamatra’s eyes. He would see it as a challenge in usurping his place as number one funniest person in your eyes.
As of now, there is no clear way to ensure this doesn’t happen, which is why the last rule is a risk taken by only the bravest of souls.
Those are all the unspoken rules the Akademiya has that concerns Lord Cyno. This is now the end of this brief lesson. For more queries, go to Port Ormos and find an alumni named Kaveh. Best of luck.
Who in the abyss wrote my name in this stupid note? Damn scholars are name dropping every famous person they know. Be glad I’m sending this to you, Cyno, you owe me forty thousand mora and free lunch. Alhaitham locked up his pantry >:(
(Collei finds the note stashed in Cyno’s knapsack during their journey from Mondstadt to Sumeru. She resolves to never mess with whoever you are after reading its contents, sweating buckets after learning how terrifying her traveling companion truly is.)
#one day i will write a proper fic for this man#complete with a summary and title#for now have these little snippets i cooked up with the rat who lives in my hair#i should really make a tag for this au#serious x airhead#if you read the one where reader blows cyno a kiss imma let u know this is in the same au#also the one where they play cards#and also the reader who plagiarizes essays#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#cyno x reader#genshin cyno x reader#genshin shorts#gn reader
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Thoughts on Owen? I’ve been rewatching the og 3 seasons and seeing the change from finalist to gag character is weird
Owen is my Roman Empire.
He started off as an actual character in Island, which is a given since he was pre-determined to be a finalist from the get-go. Owen's always been a big personality of the series, with his (sometimes overbearing) friendliness and boisterous attitude, accompanied by his many many character flaws. But, at least in Island, he was realistically written- or as realistic as the show could do, given its parameters. He gets to have moments where he actually forms bonds and friendships with others on screen, and where his character flaws actually impact the challenge instead of being played off as jokes (like him luring in a bear with his hunting stories).
Owen's character traits were gradually reduced from being an optimistic and somewhat naïve, but otherwise standard teenage boy (of the time) to being a flanderisation of a golden retriever. In World Tour especially, he's rarely given any lines that don't somehow relate to his love of food, his flatulence or his fear of flying. For the span of an episode or two, he gets to focus on his feelings for Izzy (and he also gets some throwaway lines about his friendship with Noah and his trust-turned-distrust of Alejandro), but otherwise he's pretty self-contained as comedic relief.
He stops being a multi-faceted character and starts being a one-dimensional imitation of himself. And it's a shame, since Owen's one of the funniest characters to both watch and write for, so stripping him of a lot of his substance for the sake of delegating him to the role of background character, instead of just eliminating him early (since he didn't really have any use in World Tour outside of his aerophobia "plotline" and Izzy's elimination), seems like a waste of both his character potential and the potential of others.
And, one thing I noticed upon re-watching Island, even his voice becomes a sort-of mockery of what it started out as. No shade to Scott McCord, he does a fantastic job with his VA work- especially on Total Drama, where his characters are all distinctly different sounding. But really, go back and listen to Owen in early Island, and then listen to him in WT or RR- that's an entirely different cadence. He loses a lot of the scratchiness in his voice, and it raises a solid three or four semitones into something almost childish- once again playing into Owen's erosion from a fairly normal teenage boy into the caricature of naivety he eventually becomes.
We do get to see some of his original characterisation shine through in certain moments- there's a few lines he has in WT where Owen gets to be a little sassy or even somewhat confrontational, which is such a breath of fresh air from his usual airheaded happiness or aerophobia-fuelled terror. But he loses a lot of his season one charm with his delegation to the background; show me the Owen who's fun-loving, sure, but also a bit of a menace! Show me the Owen who's more than just the butt of a joke (pun intended)!
#in summary: owen very good 👍 needed LESS screen time to preserve his character#which could also apply to a lot of the other characters tbf#total drama#td owen#ophe rambling#replies
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There's been a lot of talk about bad or inaccurate fanon wrt Steve lately, but honestly the funniest bad fanon was me reading a fic where Eddie claimed that Steve carted the kids around "without complaint".
Like i firmly believe he likes hanging out with the kids and being the babysitter, though less so during life or death situations, but like one CONSISTENT trait of Steve's is that he complains literally all the time. He is the type to complain his way through something and when the other person is like "ugh fine I'll do it" he's like "NO NO NO ITS MY JOB I WILL DO IT i am just going to complain the whole time"
#steve harrington#the fic was pretty good otherwise and i got what they were going for but like#my dude never shuts up with his complaints#i love my dramativ mean girl with a heart of gold#stranger things#st meta
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Donatello's Green Flags and Positive Traits
I'm back!!!!!!!!!!!
Despite liking his alone time A LOT, he's a great listener when you need him
Also gives really good advice if you ask for it
ASKS for reassurance if it bothers him that much. Unlike overthinkers who let their thoughts consume them, Donatello Hamato has no time for that and will get a random burst of courage to ask you for reassurance about something
Lowkey likes it when you help him organize or clean his lab with him, as long as you situate his space the way he likes it
highlights lines in his books that remind him of you that he reads to you whenever he gets the chance
He's actually very sweet, and tbh he's probably the most selfless one out of all of them- he'll put you first for the little things.
As in, gives you the last slice of pizza even though he really wants it, and sleeps in the uncomfortable position so you can be comfy (just like Raph!)
helps you with any classwork you have
Best tutor xoxo
His love language is physical touch and materialistic things. He wants to be close to you and cuddle you, and he also wants to randomly make you something that you didn't even know that you wanted or needed
He's not so good with his words but would try and work on it if you asked him too
It takes A LOT to get Donnie mad, he's usually very mellow. It's rare that he's angry or stressed- may be irritated
Sassy- but funny sassy. You don't expect Donnie to sass back his brothers at times, but whenever he does its the funniest thing in the world
You, Donnie, and Raph are a little trio! Since I will forever HC that raph and donnie are the best duo, I can imagine you being great friends with raphael while dating Donnie!
Loves, LOVES learning new things about you, no matter what
Studies you- what makes you annoyed, what makes you happy, what makes you smile (it's him)
This one actually asks if it's okay to come over- I really think that Raph and Mikey are the only impulsive ones that go and see their S/O without any notice sometimes
Helps distract you when you’re feeling down- he’ll try and get you involved in a project he’s doing and you get to play Lab Assistant Simulator
Donnie is the best cuddler and nobody can tell me otherwise
Makes a mean coffee or tea for you- whichever you like!
//
Taglist: @bee-1n-space @ducky-died-inside @xnorthstar3x @miss-andromeda
Masterlist
D I S C O R D
#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#donatello#bayverse tmnt#tmnt 2012#tmnt 2007#tmnt headcanons#tmnt imagines#tmnt x reader#tmnt fanfiction#melancholysway
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its time i talk about the person who left a dent on me
the worst part of my trauma when it comes to it being connected to people i was once close with is that my perspective of what makes of them reminders of them (i do this to anyone im close with- whether it is a symbol or a certain appearance or trait or event)
little bit of serious talk here folks, so i apologize for the unexpected. hope you have the filters.
for most of my internet life, it was almost only me. completely unfiltered. came to deviantart first. became popular at an early age because of what i was doing in the fnaf fandom- it was not good for my mental health.
my groomer has a sona that never changes by design. he's always depicted as an orange fox with black long hair, black beanie and striped jacket. he likes fps games, especially the resident evil series- having associated me with Mia from resident evil 7. he likes fnaf (we met through fnaf... while i was like 14 i think- while he was 9 years older than me). he draws well... i guess. in pokemon form, he would be a jolteon. i would be a pansear. he would be the fox. i would be the rabbit.
as a child i was very impressionate, overly emotional, and cringe (ofc). i would be best friends with my groomer after finding out we shared many common interests and kept talking to each other about it- and then later fess up i have romantic feelings for him.
this would have been the opportunity for him to back up and say no.
but he didn't say no.
we continued off and became a couple. not many people batted an eye on how questionable it was for a 15 year old to be in a relationship with a 24 year old. almost nobody, save for a few concerned friends (and one stranger on Transformice) who i ignored unfortunately, talked it up with me to leave him. i held our relationship as a sort of defense mechanism. i relied on him to make me feel happy. i did a lot of things with him, and including those of the unsavory before i became of age. (i ever regret doing them- but how would i have known- i wasn't the adult here. he was.)
oh and have i mentioned he said the (un)iconic "you're pretty mature for your age." to me
you know whats one of the funniest weirdest shit about our relationship events was? he would show me this club penguin vid where there is a troll making crude remarks and harass someone (presumably a kid). that brotherman bill cp video. he would recite and memorize the song while blindfolded. ironic how he turns out to be in the end.
the wake up call was when he retweeted nsfw of an underage fictional character. seeing that purged my stomach.
yes. it was nsfw of a fictitious minor that was the nail to the coffin. nothing else. i was so delusioned. so troubled. i couldnt see anything else problematic until that happened.
it was so hard for me to let go of him. thankfully i had friends who comforted me and stuck with me through the whole way through. i was on my bed crying.
we've been in close contact for 5 years. i was convincing myself to stay on a doomed relationship because i didnt know what to do- i was already broken and unwell. i was very co-dependent (and i think some of those negative traits still follow me to this day- learning how to get out of that though). my groomer has left a large gap of my mind when we broke off- i revolved so much stuff around him.... and i forgot a lot of memories because of the trauma- taking even the happy unrelated to him ones with it.
i cared too much. and as someone who draws fast- you can imagine how much ive done.
my old files are infested with his likeness. i know i can just delete them but theres so much. so many. it is utterly revolting to see it all and the memories that come with it.
but as time went on, im starting to care less and less about what has happened between us. i am still traumatized of course and a lot of the negative things followed me, but i am healing somewhat and thats what matters i think. most of the things ive associated with him- the connection is fading. i have separated fnaf from him. i no longer associate orange foxes with him. i am comfortable drawing characters in black beanies.
if there is anything i should be grateful for, is that im no longer with him and im happier with someone else. im thankful for the friends who have helped me cope out of that shitfest.
if you know who this person is, i advise you not to witchhunt and harrass him. i dont know what hes doing and honestly i dont give a fuck on how he's doing. he should get help honestly. it is me, myself the victim, who has the say on the matter- and my say is to leave out of his sight.
if you are a minor and someone older than you does these similar things to you, please let your parents and friends know immediately. please be safe.
if my groomer ever reads this, somehow, then to him i say: i am not afraid of you and i do not care about you anymore.
thank you for reading.
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🔮Enhypen as Hogwarts Students🪄
Hope you enjoy! Just like the others, these will be the bases for the Hogwarts AUs I’m sure to write >:3
(I love these boys look at them 🥺)
Jungwon
☆ "You're a humble one, aren't you?" "Er, yes sir?" Jungwon smiles sheepishly at the possible compliment, answering the Sorting Hat with respect. "Hardworking, too," the talking garment continues, "and you don't seem to care about obstacles as long as you get the job done. You're a Hufflepuff!" Jungwon thanks the hat as he leaps off the stool, feeling a sense of joy and accomplishment that the hat saw those qualities in him.
☆ He’s a Muggleborn, or so he thinks until he’s taken in by his Squib grandmother, who reveals his parents were just hesitant about talking about magic to him. He grows up mostly in the non-magical world, but his grandma does teach him how to cultivate some of the magical plants she’s sneaked into her garden 👀
☆ Because of his time spent with his grandma, he goes to Hogwarts loving Herbology immediately, becoming a quick favorite of Professor Sprout 😌 It's not his best subject, but he also enjoys Potions because even if it's hard, it has the funniest mistakes!
☆ There isn't a subject he really hates, but History of Magic is notoriously the most exhausting subject for a lot of students, so it's not exactly Jungwon's favorite.
☆ Jungwon is an avid Frog Choir member, but he also tries out for Quidditch and becomes a Chaser! He's a swift boy, known for darting out of the way of Bludgers and other players just in time 😌
☆ He’s overjoyed as he imagines a time when he was happiest and how happy he’ll feel if he summons a guardian in the form of a corporeal Patronus charm. As Jungwon casts the spell, he can see it taking shape, his heart filling as the image of a tuxedo cat bursts forth and into his arms.
Heeseung
☆ "Oh, a clever one!" The Sorting Hat comments as it touches Heeseung's head. "You've got a unique mind. A thinker, this one. Likes to discuss things. Good with a puzzle too. Must be Ravenclaw!" Isn't Ravenclaw the smart house? Well, that's something for Heeseung to live up to! He's excited to do his house proud.
☆ Heeseung is a Half-Blood, coming from a magical family but just not entirely upholding all the full blooded wizard stuff over the years. He literally could not care less about all that stuff, though, like hey, we all have the same powers 🤷🏻♀️
☆ One of the weirdos who actually likes Arithmancy lol Heeseung is just good at it and solving sequences is so satisfying! He also enjoys Defense Against the Dark Arts because it's the perfect combo of active and intellectual, one of few classes where students can actually be allowed to run around a bit, but it still keeps the wits sharp.
☆ Divination isn't bad, but it lowkey feels like a waste of time to him 💀 rather than hate it, though, he uses it as goof-off time hehe
☆ Quidditch all-star right here! Eventually becomes captain, in fact, and leads Ravenclaw to victory many a time. He's a Chaser, in charge of scoring and swift flying, and he tends to be in the central position.
☆ He doesn’t have a certain animal in mind, really. Heeseung tells himself he’d be happy with anything…but what if it’s a tiny mouse? Or something silly like a monkey? Shaking his head, he snaps out of it before reciting the spell, focusing his greatest joy into the shape that emerged. As the beautiful Clydesdale horse stands before him, all the nerves fade away into elation.
Jay
☆ “Cunning? Check. Ambition? Check. Goals? Check. You care what others think, don’t you?” Jay just sheepishly, almost imperceptibly, nods. “I try not to, but-” “This one’s a Slytherin!” Jay nods, too, not entirely surprised to be sorted into his father’s house. He admires its traits, though, feeling like being a Slytherin can shape a cool go-getter.
☆ The Parks are an old wizarding family for sure. Jay doesn’t want that privilege to carry him through everything, trying to keep that down in favor of his own hard work. It’s nice being well off in life, but he wants to be known as a strong person, not just another strong name being thrown around. If he’s offered the easy way, he’ll never take it.
☆ Potions star! Jay’s the only one of his friends who’s really good at that class at all tbh 😅 so he’s the de facto tutor. He also really enjoys Defense Against the Dark Arts, a class where he can have duels, be a dashing hero, & really show what he’s made of! Facing down fears is right up his alley.
☆ Ever since his watch got taken to use as a demonstration and he wasn't sure what it was getting turned into, Transfiguration sort of became Jay's least favorite class, at least in jest.
☆ Ends up taking one of Slytherin's Beater positions, daring to face Bludgers and fly up close and personal with all of Quidditch's threats! It gives him a rush, even if he's had a lot of near-misses the others still talk about. It’s a tight scheduling fit what with him joining Ghoul Studies, but worth every moment of it!
☆ Elbows and jokes abound as Jay gears up to try his hand at a Patronus, jests on all sorts of ridiculous animals getting tossed out. Ignoring the mirth, Jay goes zen, honing in on a memory as he shouts “Expecto Patronum!” A massive wingspan emerges as the eagle soars from his wand, earning looks of awe from Jay’s classmates and pride from the caster himself. He can’t help but reach for his Patronus in wonder, amazed himself that he created such an awesome creature.
Jake
☆ “Can be a bit headstrong,” the Sorting Hat mutters. “Really?” “Don’t act so surprised,” it chuckles, “you’re smart, kid. Got a daring side, though. Use that. That and your curiosity.” So what does this all mean? Jake thinks. “Alright,” the hat responds to his thought, “that clinches it! Ravenclaw!” Surprise fills Jake’s face as he was trying to predict what the hat would say.
☆ The Sims are Pure-Bloods, but Jake literally doesn’t find that out until he’s at Hogwarts because his parents don’t want any kids of theirs to feel like they’re any different just because their whole family tree has magic.
☆ Jake quite enjoys Astronomy, taking in the beauty of nature and recording it, but what he really enjoys is Care of Magical Creatures because he’s a pet owner and even the odd creatures (or, well, most of them) have him soft 🥺
☆ Jake prefers more natural and straightforward subjects, and Divination doesn't really seem real to him. Even a lot of witches and wizards don't believe in it, and it puzzles Jake a bit that there's no clear answers or basis to anything. He's more along the maths and sciences side, so to speak.
☆ Loves Quidditch! Tries out and joins Gryffindor’s team as a Chaser, which he adores because he gets to be part of a little mini team and support the others with his actions. Plus scoring is such a rush!
☆ Jake can’t help but think of his family, think of Layla, as he is asked to embody happiness in his life. Those thoughts guide him as he holds his wand up in anticipation, grinning at the light sliding from his wand. A golden retriever runs out to greet Jake, and he can’t help but grin. Maybe he thought of Layla more than he realized!
Sunghoon
☆ “Hm, bravery isn’t your strongest suit…” “Hey!” “You are focused on your goals. You know what you want in life.” “Yes.” “And you want some recognition for it?” “Y-yes, sometimes it is nice to have a-” “That settles it! Slytherin!” Sunghoon’s still a little salty that the hat kinda roasted him, but intrigued by his house enough to let it go and just join the others.
☆ Like Jake, comes from a big fat “blood traitor” Pure-Blood family we love to see it 😌 thinks it’s all so stupid he plays a love for Muggles and their culture up just out of spite honestly.
☆ Takes Muggle Studies for the bit and actually enjoys remembering the names of all those appliances and things, even if it's difficult to remember so many new words. A lot of the Slytherins are shook because the Sunghoon is writing a paper on telephones??? Dork Sunghoon excels at Charms, quick but precise and elegant casting that requires specific motions. He sees the intricacies in charms more than the average student, and his casting always looks fluid and flawless.
☆ Flying is not his friend- being that high up and feeling out of control scares him. Sunghoon will take the ground, thanks!
☆ Quite obviously, he does not try out for Quidditch, just attending all the games he can and focusing on other extracurriculars like music!
☆ He has plenty of happy memories to go off of, but Sunghoon isn’t sure if he’ll really be able to pull of a corporeal Patronus. He wants to more than anything, though, so he puts his whole heart into it, calling out the spell… only to summon forth a beautiful swan that captures his attention immediately as it gracefully skates in the air around him.
Sunoo
☆ “Could be Gryffindor…” The Sorting Hat ponders. Not Hufflepuff? Sunoo thinks, considering how he wants to be in the nice house. “I can hear you, you know. You are quite innocent. Very loyal, too. Very well- Hufflepuff!” Grinning, Sunoo skips to his table.
☆ He has Squib parents, so he grew up an odd mix of living like a Muggleborn and yet having total awareness of the wizarding world from other family members. Both his sister and he inherited powers, so he also hears about Hogwarts a few years before he goes.
☆ Enjoys Divination because it’s a fun and creative class. They get to drink tea! They get to talk about dreams they have! They get to make stuff up sometimes, frankly. It feels more fanciful and less pressuring than other classes. He also likes Care of Magical Creatures because not only does he love living things, but the presentations are enjoyable too!
☆ He loves looking at the sky, but Astronomy is a bit of a tough one because Sunoo is more of a creative mind than scientific. Calculating the positions of the stars is hard, why can't he just take pictures and appreciate the constellations?
☆ Thinks Quidditch looks really fun, so he tries out and that’s where they discover that Kim Sunoo is basically the perfect Seeker. Boy is a pro at finding stuff so he sees that snitch well before anyone else does. Straight up wins Hufflepuff games by points alone.
☆ Happiness is easy for Sunoo to find; it’s a short mental distance to reach as he has a positive attitude and more importantly lots of loved ones. His friends, his sister, truly his happy place is with his people. Thoughts of his people spur on the little light emerging from his wand, fading in favor of cheering and laughter at the adorable glowing quokka that rolls out.
Ni-Ki
☆ “You’d do well in Slytherin,” the Sorting Hat muses upon Nishimura Riki’s head, “if you want something, you go get it. Brave, though, and quite a tease. You enjoy life. I’d say… this one had better go to Gryffindor!” Riki feels like the Hat gave him lowkey whiplash, but he feels proud to be joining the house of lionhearts! It suits his adventure-seeking side for sure.
☆ He’s a Half-Blood, both of his parents having magic, but his mom is a Muggleborn so he gets the best of both worlds! Adores spending time with his Muggle grandparents and sometimes envies their simpler life even though he wants to become an amazing wizard.
☆ Takes Ancient Runes so he can write secret codes with his friends, but actually gets really invested in solving and deciphering all the questions and scripts he's given. Flying is another favorite of his, just the feeling of freedom and the wind in his hair is the most magical thing of all for Riki!
☆ Don't sit with Riki in Potions though unless you want things to splash and explode on you 💀 he's a bit of a wreck trying to brew potions and it's not even from intentional mischief like a lot of other things are!
☆ Bro best flyer??? Of course he’s going for a position on Slytherin’s team! And he gets it, landing Seeker because his choreography skills lend well to flying in complicated patterns just like his lil gold friend 😌
☆ Riki is beyond determined to cast a Patronus, to have the strength of mind and magic combined to produce his guardian. Digging his heels in, he brings forth a memory, smiling and laughing into the spell despite his moments-prior seriousness. As he calls out “Expecto Patronum!”, a fox leaps around, every bit as cunning, mischievous, and charming as its caster.
#enhypen#enhypen imagines#enhypen reactions#enhypen x reader#enhypen scenarios#jungwon#heeseung#jay#jake#sunghoon#sunoo#ni-ki#hogwarts au#enhypen hogwarts au
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dps boy weedcanons because i make my being a stoner a personality trait. dps boy weedcanons because i am insufferable and not fun to talk to. dps boy weedcanons because it will be the most rebellious thing any of them do in their entire lives
neil
not listening to anything anyone is saying
must be sitting the whole time
greened out trying to impress todd with this tolerance he doesnt have
actually i take it back he's listening to (and laughing at) everything todd is saying
todd
fully convinced he will be found out, arrested, then promptly crucified
worst cottonmouth out of anyone
simultaneously the funniest and the giggliest which nobody expects
greened out trying to impress neil with this tolerance he doesnt have
charlie
supplier, wont tell anyone where he got it (doesnt remember where he got it)
high cryer, it's embarrassing, nobody mentions it but they all silently hold the knowledge and collectively agree that it Doesnt Fit the Charlie Agenda
touchy. like not for the sake of it but for the sake of remembering that there are other people around him
so loud. just so loud. so loud and so standing. why is he standing sit down. youre yelling charlie
cameron
retells the same story 15 times. actually he doesnt retell it fully any of those times because he goes on a bunch of different tangents
nearly pisses himself when charlie looks at him as earnestly as he can and goes "you're too high. we called your parents and theyre coming to get you"
totally didnt wanna smoke but is sooooo immune to peer pressure. the peers did not in fact pressure at all and even offered to just. not. but he was like guys its cringe to deny it i cant be cringe. (the cam agenda im pushing where he is so scared of authority but way more scared of embarrassing himself in front of his friends)
doesnt move at all. actually hes laying down the whole time. actually hes asleep nvm guys
knox
idk dude
i dont like knox im not the guy to ask
dont know this guy dont care to
knox fans reblog with whatever u like ill probably agree
pitts
eats everything. eats everything. eats everything. eats everything. eat
wants to do everything at once. time is moving WAY too slow and he just needs. he just needs to be busy
sensories are off the CHARTS! this guy is FEELING HIS SURROUNDINGS!!! HIS SKIN IS HIS SKIN AND BY GOD IF HE HAD A DOLLAR FOR EVERY TOE HE FELT HE WOULD HAVE A WHOLE $11 BABY
regrets everything. wakes up the next day just so filled with food and dread. his body is made of sandbags.
meeks
asthmatic but thinks this is the time he can beat said asthma and smokes anyway. so basically it is not the time
he is so sure of himself and his ability to say the most intellectual things possible. he is spewing so much nonsense thinking it is SO smart
is so excited to be doing something Bad that he almost tells keating earlier that day
like pitts, he can also feel everything. but oh. oh this is troubling. his SKIN is his SKIN. by GOD if he had a dollar for every toe he felt he would have way too many dollars.
#desire mona#hate this post hate feeling like weed is my only personality trait#but oh i just HAD to voice my thoughts#my weed smoking girlfriends#dead poets society#neil perry#todd anderson#charlie dalton#richard cameron#steven meeks#gerard pitts#banger
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hi I see your tales of vesperia posting. what is tales of vesperia those character designs look terrible (EXTREMELY POSITIVE)
THIS IS THE FUNNIEST ASK I'VE EVER GOTTEN BECAUSE I RECALL SHOWING SOMEONE TALES OF VESPERIA OFFICIAL ART BEFORE AND THEY SAID "those look So Anime" <- meant in a derogatory manner
Tales of Vesperia is part of a bigger series called "Tales", but each Tales is its own story, kinda like Pokemon, Persona, etc. Its a fantasy RPG series, and Vesperia in particular follows the story of Yuri Lowell, an ex-knight-turned-vigilante as he tries to help out the Lower Quarter, the place where he grew up in, since the empire tends to ignore the common folk.
And he gets the funniest found family in all of media which consists of;
Princess that the empire's knights mistakenly thinks he kidnapped
8-12 year old with a big bag and an even bigger hammer that looks up to him (and becomes his boss)
Prickly mage who is a child prodigy and is nice to only the princess and has tried to kill someone once in her sleep (movie-exclusive)
Most pathetic sopping wet old man who has zero to no charm and I think half his screentime is spent by other characters clowning on him
Elf girl who shares "flirtatious" banter with Yuri, except its just both of them just enabling each others worst habits and encouraging each other that crime is definitely okay
Pirate girl who is a PS3-exlusive and also she has a gun
Yuri's 5 times divorced ex childhood friend, a knight who is supposedly better at everything Yuri does, EXCEPT cooking
His fucking dog that he had since his time as a knight, which carries around a knife, and is listed as the worst cook in the whole party
Yuri Lowell was such a popular character that he had to be banned from popularity contests since he was admittedly the coolest main character that the Tales series ever had like. One of his defining characters traits is that he's okay with murder. Also the opening of Tales of Vesperia is set up to be like "song that the female lead would sing to the male lead", but no, the singer says its a song about Yuri and Flynn's (the childhood friend) relationship in the point of view of Estelle, the princess ..............................
One of the Yuri Lowell videos ever <3
#Ask#Tales of Vesperia#((Gayest game in the Xbox))#((There is a divorce ongoing in the found family))#((Estelle and Rita canonically have something going on too. Top 10 games of all time))#((Yuri's VA also says that he doesn't even ship Yuri w/ Estelle. Yuri and Flynn all the way baby <3))#((Yuri and Estelle are the siblings ever))
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Alright fuck it, s2e1 liveblog.
I'm watching this with people later so the goal is just to get through it enough to sate my impatience, so I'm back to ye olde standby of watching it at high speed with subtitles on. (...Only I guess I'm gonna be slowed down by making comments, huh?)
Spoilers and uncharitable opinions and unfunny jokes will follow.
Not going to talk about stuff in the episode opener until it comes back bc there's not enough to say anything about.
5 minutes in and we're already doing whatever this is huh?
6:30 - Alright okay, fuck, Vannak took his spine pellet out and gets to have one (1) personality trait and it's animal facts and I kind of don't hate that. TV Chief is very unlikable but characters like Kai and Vannak playing the angle of having very youthful quirks bc having emotions is new is cute.
~10:00 - I have nothing to say yet about spooky shapes in the fog but I think this shot of Chief back to back with a marine is fun. Also I wonder if Corporal Perez (this character) will still matter 5 minutes from now.
Also looks like the foggy sword fight from the trailer is here, too difficult to get any kind of cap that doesn't suck out loud. I'm thinking about how I heard someone making a big deal about how Season 2 feels "less like a video game" (whatever that means), meanwhile "fog full of stealth sword guys trying to kill you" feels very very video game level.
~13:00 - Man, and I really thought that sword fighting stuff in the trailer was a solid indicator they were dragging Thel 'Vadamee into this mess. Hey guys look, Arbiter's in this season. 4,000 of him!
Additionally, if a bunch of people decide this is a ship the fandom owes me twenty dollars.
~15:00 - Congrats to Perez for surviving five minutes. Also, we're still doing whatever this is:
16 minutes in we finally get the show's opener. (It has the Halo in it now, I don't think it was there before but let's be perfectly honest it's not like I cared a lot.)
~17:30 or something, reminded once again that a lot of people are attracted to this actor
Also guess what, Keyes is an Admiral now I guess????
Do we think he still gets to get eaten by the Flood eventually? Do we think the Flood will even be in here? Place ur bets at the counter.
Anyway, they're basically diving into a big timeskip here where a bunch of planets have been glassed since last season (including Madrigal). This whole AU is weird to the bone in terms of how its timeline is shaking out.
Anyway anyway, aww here we go
"I'm not here to replace Dr Halsey, I'm here because I believe in you!"
Ohhhhh he knows all the Spartans' names already, ohhhhh they want the audience to like this mf so bad, they want it to be such a tweest that he sucks shit-
Moving right along, at 22:30 we have the Rubble having a crowd decide whether various refugees should be spaced or taken into indentured servitude, because of course we do.
tl;dw the nebbish redhead knows where Catherine Halsey is and there's a big bounty out for her and he's trying to use it as a bargaining chip to not die and everyone thinks that's very funny, also Soren is here. I guarantee he decides to go after her, but first we have to have a scene cut back to whatever TV Chief is doing.
Man I'm really noticing they haven't shown the weird ridged rubber tech suit yet this episode, I wonder if they decided to replace it.
Anyway here's Perez, I still think they want people to start shipping:
Then Jimmy Rings has a meeting with tv show's new guy they want you to like so bad.
Also he says "The O-N-I" like a complete tool. (This is how you know he sucks.)
And while I'm talking trash about him: Ackerson stop flirting, didn't they tell you nobody's allowed to be gay in Halo? Get your shit together.
Thus ends the dream of the funniest possible universe where we just had Cortana: The Show forever. Someone get the penny whistle. My heart will not go on. 😢
Fuck, I was doing timestamps, right? I'm like half an hour in.
THEY STILL WANT YOU TO THINK ACKERSON CARES, BY THE WAY, IN CASE YOU DID NOT NOTICE
They're laying this on so thick so fast there's no way he's not a shitweasel in this AU, but also that would be the funniest possible thing to me.
(If anyone ships this, the fandom owes me forty dollars and therapy.)
ANYWAY... Action figure time. (Remember to boycott Jazwares!)
Soren's kid is playing with a MASTER CHIEF ACTION FIGURE and being weird, meanwhile Soren's wife is calling him out on shit and reminding him that refugees being turned away is, you know, bad.
Congrats to Soren's wife for continuing to be the most unexpectedly sympathetic supporting character I guess, but they made Soren so unlikable off the 1st season it's hard for me to feel investment of any kind here.
35 minutes in: the Spartans are watching a space TV broadcast. They have Ca-ADMIRAL. Admiral. Admiral Keyes presenting the Colonial Cross to Corporal Perez for blah blah blah you saw the start of the episode. The shape of the ceremony and the hovering tv drone thing are obvious H2 references.
(Does this mean Perez is our Sergeant Johnson now? Vote with your phones.)
Get your face out of here, Ackerson, I know what you are.
Oh god there's another team of Spartans (Cobalt) and having adult Spartan-IIs call each other names like children is fucking weird.
Aaaaand tumblr is capping the number of images I can post here and I'm still only about half way done. Fuck. I am not doing this this way for Episode 2 I can promise you that.
(Also hey look the tech suit is back, I guess Silver Team doesn't use it so much anymore to show you they're more human now or whatever?)
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marvel making matt murdock a libra is the funniest thing i think they could’ve ever done with his character.
because not only is the symbol A Scale (you know the literal symbol for lawyers as well), but one of their traits is that they are “known for their strong moral compass and natural ability to see both sides of every argument”.
also their ruling planet is venus aka the planet of love and beauty, they’re naturally super charming and are huge flirts. much like our boy matthew
anyway, his birthday is october 21st :) so its coming up really soon!
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