#maybe on more than tumblr who knows!!
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hey friends! 🤗 out of curiosity, where else are you online?
(don't worry, im not leaving! just wanna know what alternatives people are trying)
#text post#poll#im feeling lots of ways about the data scraping situation and i just. idk#i dont spend a lot of time online anymore and its like. if im gonna make a whole new account i wanna choose wisely#so yeah let me know where ur all at! its okay if none too lol tumblr is 100% my main social rn#neocities is appealing bc i can get creative with it but the thing i worry about is ease of interaction...#lots to consider and think about#anyway yeah let me know! i hope youre all doing well in the wake of seemingly endless bullshit#its all very Rough rn but im here to be a gay little ray of sunshine and hopefully lift some spirits 🧡#maybe on more than tumblr who knows!!
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wip X2
#i never post them but maybe it wouldn't be all that bad idk#still having some weird mental hurtles to traverse >_>#and explore#and learn from#kicking my perfectionism to the other edge of the universe would be step no 1#i used to be way less scared and going through my oooold stuff there's a sense of freedom i kind of like#and now i visibly lack it#SO MAYBE I WONT FIX THOSE WONKY SHOES WHEN RENDERING#WHO KNOWS#anyway#hello tumblr#I'll try not to be a coward and post something sometime#thanks for sticking around#sky 星を紡ぐ子どもたち#thatskygame#wip#skyblr#are these too many hashtags am i going to face THE CONSQUENCES is this instagram if you post more than x you PERISH ohnoohno
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#my art#trans#side note: following tags are a pretty long thought dump#ugh okay i'm going to be honest#i didn't know anything about predstrogen until she was banned and many people started talking about her#also looked through photomatt's blog very briefly#to me he sounds callous- if that's the right word. he just didn't seem to care about what happened to predstrogen prior to her being banned#also? car with hammers that explodes multiple times feels far from being a serious death threat to me#yes predstrogen explicitly mentioned death wishes#but i don't know. what she said is more cartoonish than serious#also something i noticed from photomatt: where is the evidence that predstrogen threatened other users?#i haven't been looking into all this that deeply#but that photomatt stating that as part of the reason for predstrogen's ban and then not elaborating is. weird. for lack of better words#on a slightly different note: i love tumblr and how i can be my silly queer self and nobody cares#but if we don't stand up for each other — especially those who are constant targets for harrassment and other crappy things#tumblr will eventually die or bear no resemblance to the site i enjoy so much#maybe i'm privileged! being a trans masc guy#or maybe i'm ignorant#but i guess i have a tendency to say a lot. and i hate staying silent when i have the opportunity to speak out#so i'm going to scream#and i hope y'all are going to speak in support of trans women too
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I know that only like five of you care about these but here’s some more diary doodles for my oc Cashmere
♡ if you like my art please consider buying me a kofi ♡
#deity’s doodles#artists on tumblr#in order it’s her mom Cake her father Conquest her eldest sibling Cassiopeia her second oldest sister Cassiopeia her brother Cardamom#and then her but like in the past!#posting this as if I haven’t already shown the people who care about these already#but like who knows maybe more of y’all r interested in seeing these#dnd#d&d#dungeons & dragons#dungeons and dragons#dnd oc#d&d oc#tiefling#tieflings#tiefling oc#support me on kofi so I have more than $5
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cringe culture is dead. i wrote legend of zelda fanfiction
#theres two in this series and theyre both short as fuck but i like the first one better#ones abt zelda during botw/totk and the other is abt link.#also all of you looking at this who didnt previously know i had an ao3 account: ...dont look at the fics that are more than a few years old.#im too sentimental to take them down but they arent good.#not that THESE are especially great BUT i had fun#breath of the wild#tears of the kingdom#botw#totk#zelda#link#fanfiction#fanfic#m text#iiiiiiiiiii dont think ive ever posted fic on tumblr before? maybe on my old taz sideblog?
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forgot to post abt this panel but god it absolutely breaks my heart. I love when kaworu's 'ethereal easy-going' composure is broken through and we get scarce bits of the lonely boy unacclimate to being treated like a person underneath.
#his expression in the bottom left panel 😭#can't believe there was such a goldmine of kaworu context right under our noses since 2007 and I didn't know#been re-reading the ep24 drafts like an animal instead :')#CA is sooo good#also just wanna clarify. I don't think his etheral poetry talk thing is a false persona persay. it's just how he as an extremely isolated#individual who is aware of how alien his existence is compared to his peers- has learned to communicate#but despite how attuned he is to the universe and others he is also a very hurt individual who doesn't see the purpose of hurting about it#in the first place. choosing rather to fixate on the hurt/general lives of the people around him#as a coping mechanism perhaps but moreso curiosity. a source of catharsis even? self recognition through other?#idk#either way I know he will be remembering that xp#psii.txt#campus apocalypse#kaworu nagisa#maybe kaworu is more like us Tumblr girlies than I realised. shinji is his blorbo who he is also in love w X)c
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uhhh the scrunkliess!!!!!!!
#furry#furryart#furry art#furry artist#furry artwork#furry oc#wow i havent drawn comic stuff in ages. i might dump some of the old concept art here at some point. maybe itll motivate me to start drawin#it again. i still do love the golden pine theatre comic#i did revise some of the script though but that was a while ago. the beginning got a decent overhaul. plus some designs got punched up.#Theres more i wanna fix and change but im still waiting for motivation to hit me#and if i start posting the comic again itll be as i feel like drawing it rather than weekly. Also might switch from webtoon to tumblr for#posting it. but eh who knows im just rambling here
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so I'm seeing a lot of vitriol rn but mostly I'm also seeing a lot of followers and friends being unable to cope with the death threats and the anon hate so I'd just like to remind you that it's okay to turn off anons. Do it! It's quiet and peaceful on the other side and sure you lose those happy anons too but it's worth it, trust me. Another thing is if reading about other people getting hate or seeing people answer/reply to hateful shit stirrers is affecting you, unfollow! It's okay if it's a long time mutual, they'll understand. If you're friends, you'll still be friends. Or if the idea of unfollowing makes you sad, just put them in the filtered content list. It's inbuilt into tumblr (under the general settings tab) and you just take their url and copy paste it in there, and all their posts would be filtered until you're feeling open to seeing their stuff again. there is no shame in doing this honestly, it doesn't make you a shitty friend or a mutual or a blog, and I'd recommend this to big and small blogs who are finding it hard to not feel anxious anytime they visit their dash
#if you're like me and spend maybe an hour online#you deserve to have a dash that you want to see#you're not use to anyone if you're shaking like a leaf at the prospect of opening tumblr#I've been on this site for over a decade and this is the first time I've had anons off#and while it does piss me off truly#i know what I can and can't take#so yeah#meow speaks#hope this helps someone#I myself have unfollowed blocked more than ever this week#but I've also had to put a lot of mutuals into the filtered tab list because I just can't take reading some of the hateful stuff they get#and I know so many friends who have done the same
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hello... (and bye ig 👋)
#👋😭 hi...#i haven't come on in about a month and i didn't realize a month passed by like that... i've kinda stopped using any apps on my phone#i barely even talk to my friends anymore lol 😭#i just saw my follower count this morning and realized i hit 13k and i was like 🥸 huh...#uhhhhhhh 😭 idk i wanted to say thank you i guess 🫂#i'm done with stayblr and tumblr in general 😭 this much has been obvious for a while now... i tried to fit myself back in during 5star but#i think i realized i've outgrown the vibes here and in online spaces in general... i don't really enjoy it anymore 😭 which is weird cause#i've used tumblr since i was in middle school so 🫡 end of an era some would say...#i think it sucks because i don't have the same feelings about this place or skz or anything in my life right now... i tried to ignore it bu#it's so obvious now that the entirety of december passed without me really talking to a single person / without me using social media /#without me really doing much except for like homework and assignments lmao#i think genuinely i've stopped enjoying everything i used to like and i don't know why 😭 it hit me the other day bc i don't even enjoy#pc collecting anymore which is CRAZY considering how much time and money i've put into that hobby so 👋🥸 who knows what goes on#i haven't consumed any skz content since rockstar dropped 😭 and that also feels weird to me... idk... i would say maybe i'm going through a#depressive episode but i don't really feel how i do then... i think i'm just tired like i always am and that's just how i am now .. i think#i'm just not really interested in things anymore? weird but .. yeah idk😭 if i knew what was wrong i would Fix It sndjdndkd mostly i'm just#sad because i haven't been talking to friends... i keep ignoring everyone and not replying to any texts from anyone because ????#i tell myself i will do it later but i know i won't ... idk i genuinely don't know why i'm struggling to talk to ppl anymore 😭 i've become#even more of a reclusive hermit than i already was 💀 and the worst part is i feel normal abt it#i don't feel /bad/ i just feel guilty that i'm not replying to ppl bc i don't want to hurt ppls feelings... on my end i feel Normal abt it#like i ??? is it weird that i'm so detached from everything that not even a month ago made me so happy..? that's weird right 😭 like idgi#i don't feel (as) depressed (as i usually do) but clearly ?? smth is wrong ?? like ik i'm not a clingy sentimental person but ? it kinda#makes me sad wondering if i really don't care abt ppl anymore ... but i think 😭 it's also the object permanence issues that come with adhd#not seeing or talking to the ppl i love . not doing my hobbies or seeing the groups i care abt . makes it easy to not care or forget what#they make me feel etc etc ... i get it... but idk 😭 if that's what this is . well wow it sucks ASS.. cause i feel guilty for not feeling#anything at all ... 😭 idk how to explain that HENSKDNISJS anywayyyy 💀#i came on cause i wanted to say thank you for 13k followers 😭‼️ and that i probably will not be online anymore unless i really want to say#this was a really long winded way to say i feel bad but i'm done with stayblr fr 👋🥸 i tried so hard for the last 2 years to make it feel#like home again but it stopped ages ago so 🥹 that's ok.. i still cherish my memories here 🫂 anyway thanku and sjsjsksksks bye i guess 😭#who knows maybe i'll enjoy it one day again and come back :') never know what the future holds 🫡
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one of the worst feelings ever is wanting to write but your hands hurt too much or the words just don’t want to work so you just sit there staring at a half finished doc with tears in your eyes bc you want to write and you need to write but everything is telling you that you can’t
#and that you’re a terrible writer and that no one cares aaaaaaand imposter syndrome kicks in and you just feel like crap#bc all your friends have been wriying recejtky so why can’t you??? cause they’re bETTER THAN YOU#lol idk why my head is so bad today#the feelings of inferiority and emptiness and idk worthlessness are strong and i hate it but i can’t stop it#i just wanna write!!! and like what i write!!!#but i Can’t and i haven’t liked anything i’ve written in Months and ugh i hate not being able to d something i wanna do#oh and now i’m crying??? why the frick am i cRYING litetally why is typing this making me Worse#sorry guys needed to rant#the inadequacy was strong today#something something students keep telling me how much they dislike me or how i’m whiny for asking them to be respectful and like#i Know i shouldn’t compare myself to my friends but gosh it’s hard when they’re all like. so much better than me.#and i don’t have a lot of time to be on tumblr bc of work so i just feel like i’m watching everything from afar and it’s no one’s fault but#my brain’s like no one is Doing anything it’s just my brain being dumb and i can’t stand it and I want to stop feeling empty and like i’m#missing a part of myself and like the words i write don’t matter gOD why can’t i just feel happy with where i am and not care what the kids#who hate me say or realize that no one cares that i’m not on much like i’m still Here and trying to interact it’s not like everyone hates me#for being busy or for liking side characters more than the main characters and just—#sorry#that felt good actually#idk what came over me#imma just. imma shower. then maybe delete my tags#sorry if anyone got this far aT ALL grace is either asleep or trying to sleep so i don’t wanna bother them since they slept poorly last nigh#okay done now for real sorry delete tags later sorry if you saw this and how freaking messed up ky freaking brain is
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in a hilarious turn of events my flatmate didn't even know I use any pronouns....
#i thought when she was talking abt how her parents thought i was gonna come out as trans and kept checking my name/pronouns-#that the joke was that im ALREADY trans but in ways they dont know abt.... but nope she genuinely didnt know 🤭#to be fair. i dont rly let anyone in on my gender business unless we're close enough to be dating or its an anonymous online space#like im legally cis and thats fine. idc abt ppl using my name + she/her bc thats not my gender identity its just AN identity that i use-#to navigate the world without ppl being fucking nosy bc i pass as + am sociopolitically treated as a woman (if butch lol)#to ppl who are friends ill joke that my gender is dyke (true) and to friends whose gender falls on a similar spectrum-#or who are transmasc ill talk a little more honestly abt it bc theyre usually able to understand better than anyone else#other butch dykes w a weird gender going on are the only motherfuckers who actually Get It but theyre hard to come by tbh#to be frank i dont fucking know whats going on w my gender. and i dont rly care enough to do the introspection to figure it out rn#i have so many other problems in my life and im lucky that most of my beef w gender can be solved by presenting butch + binding#and using any pronouns around other queer ppl. its actually incredibly funny to me when ppl she/her me bc its like tch. this chump hasnt#unlocked my level of gender yet. pronouns and names in general are so far disconnected from the way i exist in the world...#its just smth thats fun for me to play around with + makes me feel weird sometimes but in ways i havent distilled yet yknow#and this has been my approach to gender for like?? 4-5 years now??? and likely will continue to be for a long while..#anyway. its not actually that surprising my flatmate doesnt know bc shes cis so ive never felt compelled to have a deeper conversation#abt gender with her. but also i could sweeaaar its been mentioned bc almost all our other friends are trans lol#and also ive been introducing myself at queer sports socials w any pronouns and i swear i talked abt that w her..... whatever#and my pronouns are on discord and shes def seen my tumblr before but maybe i didnt have them in my bio at the time... i digress#i kind of prefer cis ppl she/hering me tbh. theyre not able to they them or he him or whatever else me in a way that matters.....#altho i do find it fascinating when she or other ppl elect to use neutral or masculine terms for me. raising an eyebrow and taking notes#like when she got a job and joked abt me being her househusband.. pulling up the fem/masc tally chart and chalking a line up#a la nona the ninth.... ive been trying to figure out whos inhabiting this body my entire fucking life with no luck girl#ANYWAY just smth to think abt. im so tired i think my brain is gonna start seeping out my eyeballs#im gonna watch some more pluto and read and then -> 🛌#another 6:30 start tomorrow woohoo#.diaries#zzzzz
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live izaya reaction to chapter 29 (honey python) of a cheap imitation.
#durarara#izaya orihara#a cheap imitation#shitpost#i made a thing#tumblr wouldn't let me upload more than one video in the same post so this a stray from the 🥥 post#this one might be funnier on its own though so maybe it works out#i expect the notes on this one to not exceed the single digits hsgsds#but hey it is a thing i made so i'll leave it here for posterity#unlike the others in the 🥥 post this one was specifically made for marketing#which is a thing i started doing on twitter to try and entice my book club victims to read a new chapter of the fic#at a pace i thought would be more fun#so it's supposed to be very ??? since my intended response was meant to be like “??? wtf is going on in the next chapter”#“i've gotta read it”#“oh”#“no”#and it did work for one friend lol#so mission success#anyways maybe someone here will enjoy it too who knows#the sounds btw are just michael jackson noises it was supposed to be a reference to that one voiced meme of the shit bunny crying#and then placating themselves by imagining them railing their fav#y'know#the shit bunny by @battleguitar on twitter#https://twitter.com/battleguitar/status/1622025684670631936 if you want to see the comic#i tried my best to find whoever voiced it but i think that post must be gone :(#i have it saved though as a reference so if anyone wants it i guess dm me haha#ACTUALLY HOLD UP I JUST FOUND IT NOW#https://twitter.com/coalbones/status/1622112973102669829 :000#thank you for your service twitter user @coalbones
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I just realized USAdians on this website treat anti-capitalism the same way they treat voting.
As in: "I hate how this country is run, and I think both parties suck, so I won't vote." and when it's pointed out to them that treating both parties as "the same" when they're clearly NOT tends to lead to Republican victories and much worse public policies, they shrug and go "not my problem, I didn't vote" when it's like. Literally people not voting for Democrats because they'd prefer a Perfect Dream Candidate Who Is Much More Left is part of why Republicans win as often as they do, especially on a national level.
As in: "I hate capitalism and being advertised to, so fuck no, I won't give Tumblr/Mozilla/this small business/this independent creator my money, they advertised to me!" with zero recognition that as much as we all hate capitalism, we're fucking stuck with it, and the platforms you love won't exist without support, and small and individually owned business will cease to exist without customers, whereas their anti-capitalism "just don't buy things that are advertised to them" thinking doesn't hurt the big places at all and therefore their attitudes actually tend to further the most harmful aspects of capitalism instead of preventing them.
As it turns out, doing nothing is pretty much the exact opposite of virtuous in cases like this! Who'd have thunk!
(don't even get me started on the forms of privilege that go into saying, "the outcomes of this actually matter to me so little that I think it's better to do absolutely nothing than to compromise and support something that isn't perfect/exactly what I want." And definitely don't get me started when the platforms disappear, the business close, the bad laws are passed, and people go, "but I didn't vote for the Leopards Eating My Face party OR the Leopards Not Eating My Face party and it's not MY fault the Leopards Eating My Face party won so WHY ARE LEOPARDS EATING MY FACE?")
#unforth rambles#politics#brought to you in general by a tired small business owner who is so frustrated by this all advertising is bad crowd#but more immediately by my seeing thunderbird asking me for money and thinking maybe it's time i throw a few bucks toward mozilla#as i throw a few bucks toward tumblr and pillowfort and a few other services#that i want to be sure keeps existing#i can't do it alone but i can do my small part#which is way better than doing nothing#even if these efforts fail and the things i want ultimately go away#at least i know i tried#when you do nothing what comfort do you find?#fox this isn't targeted at you it's an absolutely coincidence that you reblogged an anticapitalism things minutes before#i didn't see your reblog until after cause i was already writing this#and i agree fuck uline catalogues#i could murder someone with those things#ideally the uline owners
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an idea of what Trinket would look like when he’s in between forms! it’ll probably change more in the future especially as I’ve been thinking more about him and his abilities and such but! behold, birb man
♡ if you like my art please consider buying me a kofi ♡
please note that this is a repost from my old account with a few changes made!
#dnd#d&d#dungeons and dragons#dungeons & dragons#dnd oc#artists on tumblr#my art#character design#deity’s doodles#trinket#rn I’m considering the reason the deity he worships can’t help him#I think maybe he and the diety struck some sort of deal that gives him more abilities similar to his werecorvid family#maybe for some reason the deity themself can’t intervene in the situation maybe they’re too weak to who knows#certainly not me#but yeah sometimes I try and put thought into my characters but more often than not they just exist and get drawn standing all pretty
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I should be giving out selfship agony aunt advice sometimes I feel a little too unserious and unbothered by it all and am very secure in and quite internally validated by my own selfships. however I am thankful for my biggest fans xxx like you do not have to follow my goofy silly fictional boy chronicles. But you do and hopefully part of this is you enjoy my vibe and personality even without the selfshipping. I'm just here to broadcast my massive crushes on guys and fantasise and virtually scrapbook in my e-shrine. me and my fictional boyfriend who loves me forever and ever cause I dreamt us up perfectly :)
#interested in life long selfshippers vs. people introduced via tumblr comm mindsets?#im defs the 1st one by nature and have selfshipped since I can remember I was imaginingggg baby#wonderful to now know people who engage in the things I do! my experience in the comm has been very positive#but I spent more years making and imaginging things for my own personal gratification than I did in public view#so I wonder if this changes how individuals approach the self ship community#for me it's like being in a reddit hobbyist group idk hahaha like cool we all like doing the same thing yaaay funtimes#and a REALLY niche reddit hobbyist group too.#1 thing about me is i feel zero guilt unfollowing or blocking if I feel 1 iota of something encroaching on me having fun#like promise me you will walk away from the internet and log tf off from time to time 😭#i have always had a strong but quiet idgaf im doing what i want to do and like attitude in life so... maybe that's helping 🫤😬
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ugly maths.
i hate maths, right. i don't usually like numbers, and if i do like numbers it's gotta be an 8 or a 48 and nothing else.
thing is, i've recently caught myself doing maths again. ugly maths. the kind of maths that, really, i've been trying to avoid as much as possible because, well, it's ugly!
you... wanna see?
okay, fine... but don't say i didn't warn you!
ugly, see? look at all those numbers! not a 48 in sight!
huh? what's that? you don't see what i'm on about? oh... oh! hang on, lemme just—
better? yes? no? no? okay, what if i—
mmh, yes. ugly numbers. see it now? can you see why they're ugly?
here, i can make it worse.
these numbers are ugly. the maths they make me do is ugly.
now i'll level with you: the worst ones by far are the yellow numbers. the maths they make me do it the ugliest.
why ugly?
because it makes me ugly.
those numbers turn me into not only a suddenly number-obsessed fool, but a fool who also cannot understand these numbers and what they mean and why i feel like they reflect on me and my ability.
87, 75.
the thoughts are as follows:
• the orange numbers are big, so why are you being ugly about the yellow ones? you should be happy with what you have. so many nice big numbers! not everyone receives that.
• is it that there are two different audiences for these two different fics? perhaps. they are quite different works, with different appeals, and different themes. maybe you are reading too much into it.
• why are you obsessing over numbers anyway? you don't like maths! you left maths behind when you were 16, put it down!
okay, okay, fine! i'll put the maths down. right here, in fact!:
that 87 was an 83 at the start of the year. the 6161 it is attached to was a 5453.
4, 708.
ugly maths.
the 75 is a nice number. in fact, compared to 87, it is beautiful, radiant, enchanting. at the start of the year, 75 was 48. wow. now that is one sexy number!
27.
mmmm.
6161, 1061.
5100.
87, 75.
12.
mmmm.
you know, my most favourite comment left recently on a fic of mine was 2 characters long: :(
it made me :)
well, actually, it made me >:) because it was left in response, presumably, to one of the key scenes in a new chapter which left the exact impression on someone that i hoped it would.
they must be the only one who reacted like that, though.
1.
have i mentioned that that 87 and 75 include author responses?
i won't try to do more maths, there. it might not end well for me. the maths is making me tired enough as it is, and i have an early start tomorrow.
oh! but, that being said, i have another set of ugly numbers to show you, so keep 87 and 75 in mind.
ready?
838, 245.
(want a hint? the green numbers!)
838, 87. 245, 75.
9.6, 3.3.
ugly maths. it's ugly again, see? i don't like it. i'm seeing numbers within numbers within numbers, and i can't seem to stop!
the numbers make me ask new questions:
• why is it not good enough?
• people seem to engage more with one fic over the other, so shouldn't you prioritise?
• is all this maths this really good for you?
no, it isn't.
i want to avoid ugly maths. ugly maths makes me want to tear my hair out. it makes me want to start from scratch. it makes me want to grab someone and scream. it makes me want to cry and press a button that has tempted me many times before when the numbers become too ugly to bear.
ugly maths turn me into an ugly person.
ugly maths make me obsessive, paranoid, anxious, regretful, vindictive, spiteful, alone.
i hate maths. i hate numbers, just like, it feels, the numbers hate me.
#helia rants#cw vent#i'm okay but i'm not#this has been playing on my mind over the last couple of weeks#it's aimed at the sky rather than anyone here#i know i'm not the best myself as commenting. i justify it to myself by affirming i don't read much. which i don't.#since the start of the year i have tried to comment on everything i have read#bearing in mind i may also dm someone rather than comment because i want to scream and ramble about their fic more personally#that being said. i know i'm not the only one who finds themselves doing ugly maths#and in turn starting to feel uglier too#i don't like looking at the numbers#i was doing well at the start of the year#but as i open my drafts and look to a new chapter and at the notes i wrote#i can't stop myself from opening the fic. from seeing where it's at. from seeing if it's changed. from checking my inbox to see if...#if only...#what it's meant is that i've come to a point where a fic i loved has become exactly that: a fic i loved. past tense#the other fic is still a fic i love. but i know deep down that that is tied to the numbers too#i hate that this is what i've become#because i have tiny fics. fics with 50 hits and maybe 1 comment. and i love them. i still love them#but when it comes to the big ones. the multi-chapters. the hefty fics. after a point all i see are numbers#and those numbers have come to determine both my happiness and fulfilment as a writer#and so i am ugly. i am sad. i am pathetic.#and i don't know how to stop.#helia's stuff#this was meant to save back into my drafts. i was editing tags. tumblr decided it should post. so... so be it.#also this is not an attention thing if anyone dares go 'oh but you're a good writer uwu' i might do something we'll all regret#this is also not a 'ffs comment on my fics will you 😒' hell no#it's just about me. and my issue. and my unhealthy relationship with these fucking numbers.#gotta get this shit out of my head somehow :)
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