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angelicliima · 4 days

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California Dreamin' [Backseat Bingo, part i]

masterlist

summary In 2077, Cooper Howard's efforts in the Sino-American war and his achievements on stage and screen have made him a household name across the globe. After his divorce, Cooper decides to throw himself back into his work on screen. Abandoning his dreams of becoming a real cowboy, he supposes acting as one will suffice. That's until he meets you, a rising starlet that's been pinned as the next big thing, that just so happens to be playing his love interest in his new movie... and Cooper can't seem to remember his lines anymore.

cooper howard / the ghoul x f!actress!reader

tags au (pre-war era/vault tec doesn't drop any bombs), older man/younger woman, age gap, reader is early to mid 20s, cooper is mid to late 40s, mentions of sa (nothing too graphic), reader has gender envy kinda, cooper is a tiny bit condescending but only if you squint.

a/n it's finally here!!! this is part one, not sure how many parts there will be just yet, but i'm just so excited to get this out here!💕

word count 1967

The persistent heat of Los Angeles had burned a star shaped hole straight into your heart. For years you had longed to go, to be someone. To create your own life, to live your passion. To be someone other then what you were.

Los Angeles had a reputation, the shining stars of Hollywood congregated there, it was where they worked and where they played. It was mysterious and oh, so enticing to a young girl who watched holotapes everyday after school.

You craved the feeling of the warm sun and the blistering heat, the smell of delicious coffee permeating the air and the dull sound of the crashing waves.

To be a star in Hollywood's constellation was anyone's dream. It was a life of luxury and fun, you'd wager most people would give an arm or leg, or both, to become a household name.

Years of longing and praying to God had payed off, you had bitten the bullet and once again, you prayed. Begged, even. You needed this to work. You couldn't face the shame of moving back home as a failed actress.

It worked. The praying to God had worked.

Or maybe you were just really pretty, and had worked your ass off for months. Waitressing, auditioning and waitressing again until finally you had gotten a part.

A part that you knocked out of the park, one that had changed you life.

In a matter of weeks you had went from a waitress in Sammy's Diner, to America's new sweetheart. Your rundown, one bedroom studio apartment that was severely overpriced considering the mold and the peeling wallpaper had morphed into a lavish villa in Bel-Air.

You had went from scowering for open casting calls to having an agent that was finding you parts, most of which were being offered to you.

Life had taken a turn for the better, and it stayed that way for the following two years.

Now, the glamour of Los Angeles was a part of your daily life, you were used to the heat by now, though never tired of feeling the sun on your smooth, pampered skin.

You had grown accustomed to your fans, your wonderful, ever growing crowd of fanatics that helped grow your confidence more than you would like to admit.

Though, you also had your fair share of negativity, so much so, your management had decided to assign you a bodyguard to accompany you during press and parties.

Most criticism drawn towards you was based on your more... provocative roles, although you had joked that your critics are simply jealous of your appeal.

Now, you could afford to be selective with your roles. You could choose how the public viewed you.

Were you gonna be the femme fatale, the dumb blonde or the screwball heroine?

You had decided to mix the three, who wants to be typecast, anyway?

Now, though, you had landed the female lead in a Solomon Barnes flick, 'Under the Covers', starring the Cooper Howard.

Originally, the part was meant for Vera Keyes, however, the studio (and Barnes, but he'd never admit that), had come to the decision that Keyes' acting was flat, and she wasn't sultry enough for the role.

In other words, you were prettier. And, more willing to take off your clothes.

So, here you were, being driven along to Global Pictures Studios on your first day.

It would be an easy enough gig, all you had to do was be a damsel in distress, bat your eyelashes and smile sweetly. Barnes hadn't exactly written your character with layers.

Seemed like a sweet deal to you.

Only problem was, you were nervous. As you always were, even on jobs that required more of you. You were always able to handle it, of course, it was your job and not only that, you were good at your job, obviously.

Stepping out of the car sent for you by Global, you hurriedly made your way to the makeup trailer, which you found with ease, it wasn't your first time on this lot.

Opening the door to the large trailer, you make sure not to turn around when closing the door, your mother had always told you it was rude.

"Look who it is!" a voice squealed.

Your head snaps in the direction and you can't help the cheeky smile that creeps onto you bare face.

It's Madelyn, the makeup girl, well... your makeup girl.

She had been an assistant makeup artist on your first ever movie, and had quickly became one of your closest friends, so you had no choice but to request her presence on every other set since.

"Scale of one to ten, how excited are you-" she began with burgeoning excitement, quickly embracing you before ushering you to the makeup chair.

"To be working with Cooper Howard?" you interrupt, mocking her tone with a giggle. She must've asked you that question at least 50 times in the past week.

Her head jerks towards you, looking at you sideways through the mirror, a poorly concealed laugh escaping her lips.

"Seriously," she says, eyes squinted, tone stern.

"Meh."

You had never seen the appeal. Sure, you admired him because of his talent and ability, but westerns had never been your thing.

"You are unbelievable," Madelyn shakes her head, giggling, "you're seriously trying to tell me you don't care that you're going to be working with him?"

"It's not that I don't care, I just don't understand all the fuss," you sigh, amusement lacing your tone, "he's just like every other leading man I've worked with. Nothin' special."

Madelyn hums at that, turning to face her makeup palette.

You look straight into the mirror, watching her as she does. You entwine your fingers into eachother and rest your elbows on the armrests of the chair.

What made Cooper Howard so special? He was all anybody ever talked about. Makeup artists, producers, directors, fellow actors... why did everyone adore him so much?

Most leading men you've worked with tended to be a bit egotistical on a good day, but never seriously vicious. Some were nicer than others and some were more prone to snaking their hands just an inch too low on your backside than others.

So, what made Cooper Howard any different? You had heard rumours of his recent divorce, how he'd had to split custody of his daughter with his ex-wife. You felt sorry for him, but more worried for yourself, would his recent shortcomings make him harder to work with?

Honestly, you were surprised you had never met him, you travelled in somewhat of the same social circles due to your profession.

It would be a lie if you said you weren't slightly jealous of him. The adoration he received from practically everyone made your skin crawl, you wondered had you been a man would you be loved unconditionally by the public like he was.

A tinge of anxiety bolted through you like a strike of white, hot lightening.

Before you knew it, you were dressed and ready.

These costumes provided to you always made you feel like a little girl playing dress up again.

You strut towards the indoor set, making pleasantries along the way with PA's and other crew members, you felt ready to face your first day. How could you not be?

It wasn't until you finally arrived inside did your slight panic fully subside. A feeling of ease washed over you. No matter where you were filming, you felt at home on sets, always.

Surveying the set, your gaze locked onto Barnes.

He was short, shorter than you anyway and had a glistening, bald head and his browline glasses amways seemed to make him look like some form of a cartoon. He was in the process of chewing out some poor, unfortunate intern.

He had always been nice to you when you'd seen him at social events, but you didn't think he liked you so much as to offer you a lead role in his movie.

Stalking over to him, he jolted when you spoke up behind him.

"I can't thank you enough for this, Mr. Barnes," you smiled sweetly.

Barnes turned to face you, his own sideways smirk plastered on his face. He looked you up and down, his eyes scanning your outfit. The intern took your distraction as a chance to scurry away like a mouse.

"Please, I should be the one thanking you for signing on on such late notice," he breathed, "you saved this movie from being scrapped by the studio."

"Don't be ridiculous," you shyed away, eyes flickering towards the motel room set that was being built up with final touches, "how could I ever say no to being in a Soloman Barnes picture?"

He laughs gleefully at that.

"I'll have you know flattery doesn't work on me, young lady," he sighs deeply, tone dripping with sarcasm, "but seriously, can we talk about this dress? The ladies in the costume department really took care of you."

"They're the best in the business," you state, "you're lucky to have such talented people working for you."

Barnes begins to speak, some sticky remark on the tip of his tongue, amused by your apparent flattery, but is interrupted by another deep voice, coated in a thick southern drawl.

"I would have to agree."

You spin quickly, following the sound.

Cooper Howard stands directly infront of you, his annoyingly handsome face has a toothy grin spread across it, it looks almost earnest. Maybe it's the lighting. And, of course, a cigarette in hand.

Definitely playing the part of leading man, and the camera isn't even rolling.

He's in costume too, though you notice his isn't nearly as constrictive.

Asshole.

He extends his free hand towards you, which you take. His hands are large and calloused and you almost jump when he clasps his other over yours.

"Mr. Howard-" you start, your voice is a pitch higher than it was a moment ago.

"It’s Cooper, dolly. No need for niceties 'round me," he offers.

Your mouth hangs open slightly, before you nod dumbly.

Jesus Christ, girl, wake up.

You repeat his name sheepishly, almost shyly. Almost.

“There we go,” Cooper tilts hid head slightly, cigarette hanging limply from his lips.

You huff, you feel like a schoolgirl being scolded by a teacher at the top of the class.

"Well, I am honoured," he begins, "I have to admit I am a huge fan of yours."

"Oh, well thank you," you breathe, smoothing you dress out with you jewellery laced hands, head tilted high, chin up.

Barnes chuckles, his head bent sideways, his blue grey eyes meeting your own.

"Not a fan of Mr. Howard?" he teases, very obviously trying to contain his amusement.

You roll your eyes between the pair of men. Seriously?

Cooper raises an expectant eyebrow.

"Not exactly a fan of shitty westerns," you state simply.

Cooper chokes, suddenly finds the vinyl floor very interesting, a pink hue cast over his cheeks.

Barnes gapes at that, not expecting such brassy tones from his young leading lady. And he certainly wasn't expecting her to call his some of his previous work 'shitty'.

"Now, gentlemen, if you could excuse me, I need to acquaint myself with the crew," you proclaim, sauntering away towards the sound technicians.

"She's quite something, isn't she?" Barnes chuckles widly.

Cooper turns to him quickly and nods hesitantly, clicking his tongue.

"Sure is."

He follows Barnes' gaze and watches intently, his lips pulled into a tight line as you smile with glossed lips at the sound guys, all of whom are watching you speak adoringly, bashful smiles and scrunched noses as they bathe in sunshine of your presence, a harsh contrast to what Cooper had just received.

Cooper sighs.

He's fucked.

tagged people @whatiswrongwithpeople @sarasxe @htchnr @lilivanilli @eykismyfav @spookyspecterino @sillysimping @anonymous-creep @chainsawangel @harveysgirl101 @lovziy @b00tycheeks @ss108 @babyinatrench-coat1 @auroranodyssey @ghcstvibess @looneylooomis @valhallavalkyrie9 @ineffablebean @gobsalad @ddarling-ddearest-ddead @sitkafay

#cooper howard fic #backseat bingo #walton goggins #the ghoul x reader #cooper howard x reader #cooper howard x fem!reader

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sourholland · 1 year

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WELCOME TO THE STYLE MASTERLIST

series based off of taylor swift’s song style

Summary → He’s the Quarterback of the Cincinnati Bengals, a worldwide heartthrob with an ego the size of Lake Erie—but does he have the heart to match it? You’re the Bengals newest cheerleader, desperate to prove how much you deserve your spot on the team. It doesn’t take much to catch the eye of Joe Burrow, however that isn’t necessarily a good thing when you’re told that any romantic relations between cheerleaders and players is strictly prohibited.

AN → Honestly this idea came to me pretty suddenly, it wasn’t very premeditated. I’m not sure anyone will be interested in reading it, this is me kinda testing the waters. I’m just going through a crazy sad breakup so I’m kinda just trying to get back into the things I love to do, writing being one of them. Also, I kinda just want to get my mind off stuff and who doesn’t love Joe Burrow haha. As always, let me know to be added to the tag list :)

Pairing(s) → Joe Burrow x Fem!Reader

Warnings → Strong Language, Alcohol Use, Mature Themes/NSFW Themes, Angst, Injury, Forbidden Love, More to Come

PLAYLIST

PART ONE - No Headlights

PART TWO - Good Girl

PART THREE - James Dean

PART FOUR - His Wild Eyes

PART FIVE - Taking Off His Coat

PART SIX - Tell You To Leave

Teaser →

After a rigorous auditioning process with over a thousand girls trying to earn their spot on the Bengal’s Cheerleading Squad, only forty made the cut. Most returners, some new like yourself. You’d watched girls break bones, continuing to audition on them to have a shot on the squad. Many left in tears, cut and sent home with hardly any reason why.

There was a little bit of metaphorical survivor’s guilt after you’d made the team, knowing this wasn’t your dream like it was for some others. This was only a season or two commitment for you while you finished up your last year of college. Then you’d become a teacher, something you’d had a passion for over the years. Cheerleading was more so a hobby, you’d danced all of your life and had cheered in high school. This wasn’t going to be your livelihood, nor did it offer you the funds to live off of for more than a short while.

There were plenty of rules to follow, many of which had you questioning if this was truly what you wanted. The handbook they’d given you was thick, although some of the girls had told you that they’d lessened up on the requirements over the years after a lawsuit had been filed. In the end, it wasn’t so bad. Tedious, but still a very surreal experience.

From about April to the middle of July, it was practice twice a week from 7:30 at night to about 11. There was a separate facility used to work and condition through the colder months, just following the Super Bowl. Once pre-season truly began, the whole team moved practice facilities. This put you in the same place as the Bengals practiced, giving you more field time than gym time to get acclimated. It was different, especially due to the fact that players and cheerleaders were placed at an arms length most of the time.

The afternoon of the first practice at the new stadium, you’d all been given the talk. This was basically your coaches and executives way of saying that if anyone found out that anyone off the squad had anything more than a friendly, professional relationship with one of the players—they’d be either cut or sanctioned. It was bad for the image of the team, making it bad for those in charge.

It shouldn’t have been a problem.

That first night practice in August was tough, you were coming off of a sprained ankle and the heat was blistering even at 8 at night. Amanda, your head coach, sent you inside to grab some ice from the athletic trainer to bring back out to the field. There was a stigma around the coaching and treatment of NFL cheerleaders, but you’d mostly had a decent experience so far. Your coaches did care that you were healthy and equipped to cheer.

Adorned in a slightly baggy Bengals T-shirt and spandex, you walked through the empty halls of the mostly deserted facility. The players had just ended their practice about an hour earlier, you watched them all exit into the locker room. That meant that mostly everyone had called it a night, heading home. The cheerleaders stayed late because practice was meant to be after work or class, it wasn’t a full-time job.

The door to the athletic trainers office was slightly ajar, the light on. Pushing it open slightly, you stepped in with furrowed eyebrows and a curious look. On the large medical table, ice in hand, sat Joe Borrow still in his practice jersey and shorts. The office was empty besides him, trainer nowhere to be seen.

He was a good looking guy, you’d give him that. Maybe it was the fact that he was 6’4 or maybe it was the fact that he was really fucking good at his sport. He looked up at you and gave a friendly grin, laying the ice on his knee.

“Emily said she was heading home about a half hour ago, her kid was sick or something so she had to pick him up from the babysitter,” Joe told you politely. “I came in just as she was like walking out, she just told me to lock up the office when I was done.”

Someone was clearly a rambler.

“Yeah,” you nodded. “I was just going to grab some ice.”

He nodded and went silent while you walked over to the ice maker, taking the plastic scooper and putting some of it into a plastic bag. He was still looking at you, making it obvious as you saw him from your peripheral. Twisting the bag, you felt slightly awkward just standing there in silence.

“I’m Joe,” he spoke again.

“Y/N,” you turned back towards him. “It’s nice to meet you.”

He extended a hand towards you, smiling as you took it and shook it softly. When you broke from his grip, he remained looking at you. He was definitely one of those people who looked you right in the eyes through the entire conversation. You didn’t know if this made you particularly uncomfortable or slightly excited.

“You’re a cheerleader.”

“Was that a question?” You chuckled, “I think that’s pretty obvious.”

“No, no. I was kind of just thinking out loud.”

He was easily flustered, that much was obvious. He repositioned the bag of ice and looked back up at you with slightly pink cheeks. This made you want to crack a grin, feeling like you were talking to a boy for the first time ever or something.

“I should head back to practice,” you told him, watching him slowly nod in understanding.

“Yeah, of course,” Joe smiled. “It was nice meeting you, Y/N.”

Let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list :)

#joe burrow smut #joe burrow imagines #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow x yn #joe burrow series #joe sheisty #joe burrow blurb #joe burrow fluff #joe burrow fan fic #joe burrow fic

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ruwriteshours · 11 months

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HIT THE BLOCK! SERIES

status: ongoing

summary: It seems as if the group can't catch a break; from having those five seconds of fame, to illegal money lendings to financial issues and now... they're studio is destroyed! Someone is out to get them and they're going to make sure that they'll get those bastards, along with making a name for themselves again... by signing a contract to become ballet teachers? Oh boy, how they've officially lost it.

or in other words..

a group of unprofessional dancers tries to manage a ballet class... who would've thought that it will somehow backfires?

➢ pairing: nct 127! x fem! reader(s)

(each member would have their own love interest so it's not poly)

➢ genre: street dance AU, crack, fluff, cheating, slight angst, toxic friendships, alcohol, swearing, smut (MINORS DNI)

inspired from the movie 'street dance' but VERY loosely based on it.

THE OPENING:

Life always had its ups and downs. It took Lee Taeyong through hell for him to understand. He was reckless and frankly, impulsive. He often thought things ideally, not thinking of the consequences. Afterall, he was only a teenage boy looking for a dream. Moving out when he was barely the legal age, ready to make those dreams come through. Little did he know, that he would make one of the most life-changing decision when he decided to audition to one of the most shittiest companies known to man-kind. Partly an exaggeration, but he would be lying if he said he liked being there.

Moon Taeil had dealt with hard decisions in his life. Leaving university to pursue his passion, not knowing if it would backfire on him.

Newsflash: It totally did!

But he was no quitter, an obstacle perhaps. Taeil tries to be a positive thinker. Practically having his life fall apart, from catching his cheating girlfriend, to blindly following Taeyong in a path to their new journey; consist of illegal gambling, unnecessary fights and late night smoking sessions. But hey, it was better than that shithole. Those nights where he would drink away into total abyss, forgetting about his shitty ex. Indeed, he is no quitter!

Years and years had passed by, Johnny Suh watched people come and go. Those eight years of experience taught him a valueable lesson. People are only temporary and he was not gonna take the chance to warm up to anyone anymore. He was officially done with that shit. You'd think those eight years would've given him some patience but Johnny is having none of it. Of course, it's no suprise for the hot-headed man to not hesitate to curse out his instructor before walking off, following suit with a group of people who share the same frustation: FUCK THIS!

In contrary, Kim Doyoung was the complete opposite. A little too patient for his liking, he hated that he held in most of his emotions. His pride was stronger though, more determined to prove those fuckers that he can take their mistreatment. Even when Johnny had practically forced him to stand up to himself, he refused to stoop low. Well, guess we'll see how tolerable he can get before it all blows up. And it's gonna be hell when it gets to that point.

Did I mention that he was a patient man?

Yuta Nakamoto has always had a flirty exterior. That was when he wanted something he knew he could get. Deep down, he was a master manipulator (of course, for a good cause). He knows his charms and it doesn't hurt to have a little fun with it. It becomes a little too tiring when it becomes easy, Yuta wasn't one to favour something being handed to him in a silver spoon. He wants to fight for it. He wants to have that taste of glory and satisfaction to a challenge. He is a hardworker, if you'd ask me.

Studying abroad, Jung Jaehyun wonders if he had made the right choice. He is a handsome man and a handsome man can make someone disregard their intelligence. He really did wonder if becoming a dancer would strip away his self-worth. The company practically set him up to be this hunky dude with no brains. Girls fawning and drooling on the floor over him. He hated that his job scope included fan service: AND HE'S NOT EVEN AN IDOL. Maybe one day, he'll show them that he is way more than his looks.

Dong Sicheng is hated by all. It's funny considering that it's not like he wanted to be here in the first place. In fact, that thought never crossed his mind until his friend encouraged him to, telling him he needed to let loose for once. He was semi-glad that his friend had pushed him into this path, but he wasn't so sure if he actually wanted it. Barely given the chance for the try-outs and yet was accepted pretty quickly. Maybe that's why he had so many issues with his steps, maybe then, he wouldn't have to deal with the constant insults thrown his way. Oh well, guess he'll have to try harder next time!

Kim Jungwoo was set up to fail. Or so he thinks. He's quite a pessimistic though, it might come as a shock considering his bubbly personality. A replacement, is what he felt. That small chance of recognition is purely by luck and it was very evident from the way everyone seemed to have these look of envy in their eyes. Even when he felt that shred of success, everyone seems to claw it all up and tear it down, giving him nothing but disappointment. Maybe he is a failure, afterall.

Fame comes in easy for some people, Mark Lee is one of those people. The people where other people think that they don't work hard for their position. When in reality, people like Mark are pouring their blood, sweat and tears for it. But in human's selfish nature, they always assume the worst of others. Mark Lee was never an exception and he had to live down to it. Fuck the fact he moved all across states to come here, fuck the fact that he spent nine hours training which, mind you: when he was only sixteen and fuck the fact that he had been hospitalised for weeks because of it. Who cares?

And last but not least, Lee Donghyuck—though would recommend to call him Haechan, youngest of them all. The mood-maker, they say. The jokester is what people think of him. It's not like he minded, until it became too much. He hated that people never took him seriously because of that. Even when he shifted his entire personality, everyone would crack a smile and told him to stop being a wimp. He was more than that too, you know. Well, at least his friends took him seriously and that was enough for him.

No thanks to the company, the group managed to uphold a greater offer for themselves than that shithole ever will. But they couldn't take the full credit, at least the shitty building did something right by bringing them together in the first place. The only thing they did right.

chapter i.

more chapters coming soon...

©ruwriteshours

#nct 127 #nct 127 fanfic #nct 127 x reader #taeyong imagine #johnny suh imagine #jaehyun imagine #winwin imagines #mark lee imagines #haechan imagine #jungwoo imagines #doyoung imagines #taeil imagine #yuta nakamoto imagine #nct fanfic #nct fanfiction #nct series

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reimeichan · 2 months

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God it's so weird to look back through my life and be able to pinpoint exact moments that a specific alter was fronting. Back then we didn't even know we had DID (for the most part) yet this disorder has colored my life for almost as long as I've been alive.

When I was in high school, one of the elective classes I took was orchestra. I was super passionate about it; I would regularly stay after school to help the other orchestras in my school during rehearsal, which was basically unheard of at my school. I was known for loving not just playing the viola but also caring a lot about the group as a whole, taking time to help anyone struggling with specific parts of a piece or even to help set up the room for practice or the stage for performances. I took viola and orchestra very seriously.

But also.... I had a silly, playful side to me. Most anyone who knew me outside of orchestra knew this about me, but my director sure did not. So when it came time for the annual region-wide audition for the "top orchestra of the region" (region being a collection of several school districts), I was expected to audition like I had all the previous years. And, well, I suppose the me that was there on the day of the audition had other plans. Instead of playing the excerpts like she was asked to, she instead, in order: played a C major scale (the easiest scale to play on a viola), played a singular D major chord (but like, REALLY BADLY out of tune), and, the kicker: instead if playing the excerpt from Tchaikovsky's Symphony No. 5 Movement 4, she played a part from *Movement 2* of the same symphony, AKA a piece our high school had played in front of every music educator in the state. So, yknow, it was obvious which school I'd come from.

When word got around to our director what had occurred, he was pissed beyond belief. He brought me into his office, and I could tell he was just absolutely dumbfounded and perplexed. He stated how I was "the last person [he] expected to pull something like that". I remember shrugging and kinda bluntly saying something rude back while feeling like he was making a big deal out of nothing, which would have been incredibly out of character for me as well as I adored that director- and I'm realizing now that the version of me who was in his office that day was neither the version of me who usually played in the orchestra, nor was that the version of me who pranked the audition process.

And like... it's wild to me that I can so clearly tell which parts of me were present for each of those moments. The one who's usually in orchestra? That's Gray (aka me), the goody two-shoes. The prankster was obviously Purple. And the one who had to deal with a disappointed director was Green. But at the time none of us were even consciously fronting or switching for any of that, it all happened so quickly and suddenly that it felt really disjointed. Hell, for years afterwards I'd still ask myself what possessed me to be an obvious prankster, or to snap back at my director like that. Well, I guess now I know I probably was possessed in some way (heh).

Just, yeah. Some rambling thoughts of the now I guess.

#by gray #personal #actually did #actuallydid #about green #about purple

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blainesebastian · 1 year

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milestones

words: 1,381 ship: austin butler x reader summary: (anon request): “can you do one where reader decorates her and Austin’s apartment to celebrate his Oscar nomination? maybe something like baking a cake, or setting up balloons bc celebrating milestones is important“ notes: thanks for the sweet request :) warnings: none tag list: @killerqueenfan, @karamelcoveredolicity, @elizabethrosecresswell, @gigisworldsstuff, @stylesmendeshearted, @rairaielv,

You and Austin are perfectly aware of how busy life can get—both of you dove into acting at a young age and it’s been a passion and commitment ever since. If you’re not currently on a film set, you’re preparing for a role, or investing your time and energy into research, going to auditions, meeting with directors or producers, having your publicist and agent line you up for interviews, events, the works. It’s constant and all-consuming and you’ve learned that you have to take time to breathe, to slow down, to check in with yourself and loved ones because if you don’t, things are capable of flying right by you.

It's important to celebrate milestones.

Which is why you’re attempting to bake a cake for Austin.

As you’ve told practically anyone who will listen, your boyfriend is one of the most hard working people you know. And yes, you definitely like to humble-brag about it. The thing is, Austin deserves to be recognized—not just for Elvis, but for every single project he touches. He puts his entire heart and soul into what he does and it comes through on screen and not only that, he’s incredibly kind and thoughtful to anyone he works with, any interviews he might give, or any fan he runs into on the street.

You really can’t say enough.

So when he calls you about that Oscar nomination? You practically scream right in the middle of the grocery store. You’re unbelievably happy and proud of him, can hear the tears in his eyes coming through the roughness of his voice as he speaks to you on the phone about how he can’t quite believe it.

Regardless that it’s taking some time to settle in for him, you know exactly what to do and make it your mission to make sure he knows how much he deserves this upon coming home. He’s out for drinks with Baz, his publicist, something he invited to you but you had originally declined because you were busy with work. Unknowingly, things with your agent wrapped up sooner than you expected so you were getting some much needed grocery shopping done. Hearing this news though? The perfect segway into getting the apartment decorated as a surprise for when Austin comes home.

You should have about a two hour window, he was just meeting Baz when he called you in the store. And in theory? It’s plenty of time for what you’re trying to do. You know it’s probably really corny but you got these gold streamers to hang on the fireplace in the living room along with the golden speckled sparkle balloons floating against the ceiling down the hallway until you reach the kitchen. There’s a banner, too, a simple congrats! hanging across the expansive windows behind and above the couch.

Probably too much but you can’t be worried about that right now—you’re concerned about this cake and the time you’re losing, trying to make sure this is as close to perfect as you can get. Except…

“The cake is flat.”

Your mom kinda hovers over the phone, definite confusion in the silence, “Flat?”

Lord, this is why you don’t bake, “Yeah, it’s—I dunno. I followed all the directions to a T.”

She hums, “Did you preheat the oven?”

You crinkle your nose because no, you…you swore that was a thing you could totally do without. Isn’t that optional? “I didn’t think that was like…something you had to do,” And ugh, now you feel like an idiot because the cake batter has essentially cooked at a half-ass temperature for a half-ass length of time. “My friend Suzanne never preheats her oven and her baked goods come out perfect.”

“That’s because she pretends her store-bought cupcakes are right from her kitchen, dear.”

You crinkle your nose but then can’t help but laugh…actually, that would explain a lot.

Leaning against the counter, you switch your phone from one ear to the other, listening for a moment to make sure your boyfriend isn’t home yet, “I dunno what I’m going to do—Austin will be home soon and this was supposed to be a surprise, not a letdown.”

“I’d say a half-baked cake is definitely a surprise.”

“Mom,” You whine and her soft laugh filters through the speaker before she tells you how to adjust the oven to fix and finish the cake.

You feel…kinda confident? When all is said and done and the oven beeps. You’re able to take it out and let it cool for a little as you whip icing together. At least you can taste that throughout to make sure it’s not an utter disaster and, well, at the end of the day it’s the thought that counts right? Telling yourself that a few times, you begin to icing the cake and hum a bit to yourself…you’re pretty sure the bottom is a little burnt. You shake your head, setting it back on the counter once you’re done with the icing. At this point, you’re just hoping it’s edible.

“Yikes,” You mutter to yourself and then hear the front door open.

Eyes widening, you scurry out from around the counter and into the hallway, grinning when Austin has the door all the way open.

“Surprise!”

And your boyfriend blinks because he’s barely come inside, toeing off his shoes and taking his jacket off as the door closes, “What?” He laughs lightly and then looks up, the balloons against the ceiling, leading down to the streamers and signs and admittedly you’re smiling the entire time, watching as he takes it all in.

Following him into the living room, you curl your hair around your ear, “Congrats.”

There’s this moment where Austin shakes his head, emotion playing with the blue of his eyes and he runs his hand along his lower jaw before he turns to look at you. In one swift motion he picks you up, a laugh startling from your lips as you slide down his body and you’re standing in front of him.

“Thank you baby,” He whispers, leaning down to kiss you.

You wrap your arms around his shoulders, keeping him close, smiling against his lips as the kiss sends unending butterflies into your chest and stomach.

It’s a small gesture, you know, something that’ll probably pale in comparison to the recognition he’s bound to get from all over in the next few months. But you couldn’t not do it either, all of this translates into how proud of him you are, how much you love him—even if it’s just streamers, balloon and a cake.

“You baked?” He asks, motioning to the kitchen with a tip of his chin.

A soft laugh leaves your lips, cheeks kissing pink before you nod. Wandering into the space with him, your rub the back of your neck and pick up the cake off the counter, setting it down in front of him on the island table.

“Yeah—or well, I tried.”

Austin shakes his head and you already know what he’s thinking—that you didn’t have to go so out of your way to do any of this for him over a nomination. But it’s not just that, right? It’s celebrating all the steps he took to get here, all the hard work and long hours, passion and frustration, sweat and tears. It’s about recognition, about seeing him.

You grab two forks and hand him one, sitting down at the counter. Austin moves to stand around you, leaning down to press a kiss to your shoulder as he digs his fork in and takes a bite. There’s a bit of icing on the corner of his mouth and you grin before wiping it away with your thumb. Humming, you take a forkful as well in anticipation and—

It’s not that bad!

The cake is moist, the icing is pleasant but not overdoing it on sugar and you triumphantly have another bite because baking this thing and not ruining it feels like a milestone within itself.

“Sorry the bottom is a bit crispy.”

Austin chuckles warmly, “Wasn’t even gonna say anythin’.” He tilts your chin with his thumb so that you’re looking at him and he leans down for a slow kiss. It’s just as sweet as the icing.

#austin butler #austin butler x reader #austin butler imagine #austin butler fic #elvis 2022 #mccall writes things

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perfectsunlight · 1 year

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(𝟑𝟓) - 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥

𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌: 𝗇𝗈𝗇𝖾

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬: 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮

“i don’t think i can do this, y/n.”

today had been particularly harsh for her. your girlfriend had been singled out for messing up some of the choreography. that was only this morning, too. once you had vocal lessons, jimin missed her cue by accident because she was trying to read too far ahead on the sheet music, but that ended up with your vocal instructor scolding her. everything that could have gone wrong, kept going wrong, which was why the moment she was free from her classes, jimin practically ran to you and ningning’s dorm room.

your fingers ran through jimin’s dark hair as she curled into your chest, burying her face into your neck in search of comfort. “one bad day does not mean a bad life, my love.” you tried to reason, making sure to keep your voice soft enough for her to hear.

you noticed her fingernails were inflamed, and you immediately tsked. “baby, you know that’s bad for you.”

you opened your mouth to say something else, but the sudden dampness on your shoulder immediately caught your attention.

“oh jimin,” you whispered before running a hand down her back. the taller girl’s body wracked with silent sobs, the damp spot on your shirt only growing as she cried. “let it out, it’s okay.”

you had seen your girlfriend frustrated before, it wasn’t like you all were free from the stress. however, you had rarely seen her cry because of it.

truth be told, you were the only person who had ever seen it.

“i can’t do it, this is impossible.” jimin sniffled and wiped her nose with the sleeve of her sweater. the weeks of pent up frustration finally got to her, and she felt truly inadequate compared to the other girls there.

all of the other trainees, including yourself, had been casted through auditions. jimin was the only one who was casted by an instagram DM. it was this mere difference that caused her to be very insecure in her abilities, despite being referred to as the next visual of SM entertainment.

this insecurity was something she only ever confided in you, because she refused to let the others see her as anything but strong. jimin was never one to break down like this, but she only ever felt comfortable enough to do so around you.

your thumb caressed the side of her cheek, wiping away some of the stray tears that kept falling from her eyes. your heart ached for your girlfriend, because you knew how hard it was for her to put on a brave face for the others.

“jimin-ah,”

your soft words were the most soothing sound to her ears. jimin’s racing doubts halted in an instant at the sound of your voice. she could only whimper in response, still somewhat overcome with the plagues of doubt and memories from earlier.

your lips pressed against hers gently and you could taste the salty tears in the kiss. it was a soft, but passionate kiss, where jimin could feel the burning love you held for her. your pulled away and she chased your lips, relishing in the comfort you radiated.

once the both of your lungs had an overwhelming desire to breathe, you simply rested your foreheads against each others. your chests rose and fell, and for a fleeting moment, jimin felt as if all her problems had disappeared.

“if anyone can do this, it’s you.” you whispered against her lips. “nobody has the work ethic you do, nobody has your visuals, and most importantly,” you paused to give her a reassuring smile.

the raven haired girl caressed your cheek with her free hand, nuzzling her nose with yours. yu jimin knew she would never find this sort of comfort in anyone else. nobody would be able to give you this amount of peace, this feeling of true alleviation from all her pain could only come from the girl who put the stars in her sky.

“nobody has what you bring to the table, jimin. don’t ever forget that, no matter what.”

your lips brushed against hers once more, but it was jimin who closed the distance between you two this time. the kiss was short and sweet, and if anything it could have qualified as just a peck.

jimin pulled away after a moment, glossy eyes and tear stained cheeks still present, but the storm raging in her mind went silent. in that moment, jimin realized that no one else would be able to calm the raging seas in her heart and mind. your midas touch would forever paint her bluest shades golden, like the light of her life you were.

“you know me too well.” jimin whispered as she stared into your eyes. you only smiled, and pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose. “you’ll always have me here, jimin. always.”

“what happened with you and minjeong? if you don’t mind me asking.”

jimin’s head turned to face you, caught slightly off guard by the sudden timid question. she knew you would eventually ask about it, but part of her thought you maybe wouldn’t considering the other party involved was not someone you were associated with anymore.

her hand set her phone down so she could give you her full attention. “well,” a sigh escaped her lips. “honestly, after talking with you about what happened, i didn’t want to look at her.”

your gaze softened at her vulnerability, and you couldn’t help but feel an all too familiar sense of tingling in your chest at the sight of jimin seeming so internally conflicted. it reminded you of the many times you held her in your arms while she vented.

it felt like an entire lifetime ago, but you remembered it all like it was yesterday.

“i started thinking about everything that went down before we broke up, and nothing was making sense anymore. honestly, it hurt my head to think about it too much,” karina chuckled and rubbed the back of her neck. “i just don’t know how to describe it.”

“like you were running in circles?” you implied, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips. karina’s lips mirrored yours, recalling just how easily you could understand her.

“you know me too well.”

she immediately followed up, trying to continue the conversation as naturally as possible. “plus, talking to min about anything relating to you isn’t something that happens.”

you nodded, understanding and being fully aware why it would be such a sensitive conversation. you hadn’t spoken to minjeong since the night you and jimin broke it off, and neither of you had attempted to rekindle the former friendship since.

to make matters more complicated, jimin was dating her ex’s best friend, so it was not exactly appropriate at any time to mention anything regarding either of the former relationships.

“i mean, you are dating your ex’s best friend.” you joked, trying your best to mask the sarcasm in your tone with a chuckle. it was subtly hidden, but jimin knew you well enough to see through your feeble attempt. she knew that it hurt you to see her with your former best friend.

she bit the inside of her cheek before looking down at her hands. truth be told, jimin felt guilty about her decision to “date” minjeong just out of pure pettiness. it seemed like a good idea at the time, as any ex lover may think, but the asepa member knew better than to think so now.

“y/n,” she looked up, feeling hesitant about what she was about to say, but knowing full well that she needed to get this off of her chest. she had to tell you the truth, because if she didn’t, she wouldn’t be able to live with herself knowing that she continued to cause you pain regarding this.

“i need to tell you something.”

you scooted closer to her, clearly worried about whatever it was plaguing her mind. seeing jimin with such an internal conflict, right in front of you, was definitely not something that you found a happy sight to see.

“jimin,” you spoke gently, concern laced in your features. karina’s eyes met yours, and she didn’t realize she had been picking at her cuticles until you had gently placed a hand on top of hers.

“you know that’s bad for you.” you chastised lightly, also recalling how many times you had to stop her from ripping the skin because of her anxiousness.

the contact felt like electricity coursing through her body. for the first time in years, you were touching her. jimin’s train of thought almost immediately derailed at the small action, but she tried to keep it together so you wouldn't think she was short circuiting in front of you.

“it’s about minjeong.” karina finally said slowly, “it’s about minjeong and i’s relationship.”

from the mention of the infamous relationship between your ex and ex best friend, you naturally tensed up, and she felt it too. you instantly removed your hands when you realized what you had done out of pure muscle memory.

“i’m sorry.” you quickly rambled out, but before you could apologize again, your ex lover interrupted you. “it’s okay.” she blurted out, probably a little too quickly to be considered anything but friendly.

“sorry, continue.” you motioned for her to continue, shooting her a tight lipped smile. you could feel the looming tension, but you didn’t know what else to expect at the moment. all you knew was that whatever it was, it was enough to cause the older girl physical discomfort that manifested onto her guilt stricken face.

the aespa leader’s midnight hues met yours, the eye contact intense and the silence looming being almost deafening. you swallowed the lump in your throat, feeling suddenly worried for what jimin was about to say.

jimin’s eyes never wavered from yours, and you could feel the hairs on the back of your neck standing up from the intensity swirling in them. you knew you didn’t trust jimin entirely, but for some reason you felt like you could trust her in moments like this.

“it’s all fake. i only did it out of spite after i saw you and yunjin at the store.”

your world felt like it stopped spinning in that moment, it was as if the walls to your bedroom were caving in.

however, what you didn’t know, was the from the other side of the bedroom door, yunjin’s world was also caving in. she had heard every single word.

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ✫ ˚♡ ⋆｡ ❀ ┊ ☪︎⋆ ⊹ ┊ . ˚ ✧

you and jimin met as trainees before she debuted, and you two never felt more in love. however, once she breaks up with you before her debut, you completely leave SM entertainment under the notion of needing a fresh start. you eventually debuted a few years later in le sserafim, where you met huh yunjin and have slowly started developing feelings for the idol. much to karina's dismay, she hates to see you have moved on, but deep in your own heart, you still can't help but feel as if maybe she has forgotten about you.

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @captivq , @wonyoluvr , @yunalvrrr , @spritin , @babycubchae , @vnschldd , @sserafimez , @chaersly , @rosiehrs , @baldd , @bwljules , @jenaissantesworld , @jennasluma , @dream-chasers-things , @lcv3lies , @elyds , @archerheejin , @vnschldd , @skisk1 , @cfvgbhndun-new-blog , @silantryoo , @phamminji , @bzeus28 , @writingficsblog , @strangegirlcode , @uzumakioden , @noiacha , @sserabey , @archerheejin , @pindoris , @yourstrulytrissmerigold , @jisooftme , @yacii , @ddrummie , @justalittledissociation

[ 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 ]

#smau #kpop smau #aespa #le sserafim #huh yunjin #yu jimin #kpop crack #fiction #winrina #aespa x reader #lesserafim x reader #original work #about you masterlist #perfectsunlight

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vogelmeister · 22 days

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Eurovision 2024: my experience as a fan

One thing about me is that I love Eurovision. I have all the winners plastered on my door at home, I can beat anyone and everyone at European geography. Each year for a week in May, I am people’s go to for anything and everything Eurovision, from explaining the big five to promoting my favourite songs. I willingly get up at 5am to tune in live, I have written two academic essays on Eurovision, and both essays have a sense of passion running through them where you can tell I love the topic- may or may not have been called out once on that. I knew so much about the topic that neither essay required much research. When I lived in the Netherlands, I attended Het Grote Songfestivalfeest, probably killing my seat neighbours with my singing and poorly articulated Dutch when De Diepte came on. As well as that, my friends and I took a trip to Rotterdam and visited where the contest was held in 2021. Having me, an Australian, alongside a Dutch person and a Greek, exploring Rotterdam highlighted to me exactly what Eurovision should be about. Unity.

Being in a room of Eurofans gave me joy that is unexplainable. I just remember realising, ‘hey I found my people’

However, I always knew ESC 2024 was going to be a hard watch for me, even before the boycotts begun. About a year ago I went through a massive friendship breakup with one of my closest Eurovision friends, and their villianisation of me meant that watching with them wasnt an option. I didn’t want to watch alone. That’s all I will say on that. I had a year to deal with that, anyway, and even when people were boycotting the event after October 7th, I thought, theres actually no way that Israel is actually competing this year. They surely will send something too political and get dq'd, right? Most of the knowledge I have of Palestine and Israel comes from my year 12 modern history class, which as my friend and I discussed today, was taught neutrally- and it’s not in Israel’s favour. I was there when Hatari spoke out in 2019 and did the banners, and I remember the shock and understanding what a big deal this was.

I toyed with the idea of boycotting myself. I had my reasons. I auditioned for a play, which didnt work out for me, as I was too distracted by Eurovision week to care. I was less invested in Eurovision as a whole, and I would get sleep. But in the end, I decided not to. My friend (who found out I liked Eurovision after I bitched about my ex friends not enjoying that I had other interests asides from Taylor Swift) was already coming around to watch. I decided my mental health came first, before boycotting and before being an activist. If I could save this one piece of my mental health, I would be fine. Stupid delusional me, well she had hope. I wanted to support Joost, and the other artists who were stuck in this shitshow of a year. I staunchly boycotted Isreal’s song, I have only heard it in full once, and that was against my will. I even blocked her on Spotify.

I looked at it all positively- this all meant I was going in more blind than ever. I bought my 2024 CD, but I also broke a lot of traditions- I didnt do my predictions like I do every year on my whiteboard, I didnt film the first semi qualifications with the caption ‘im in spain’ and put it on my story, and I hardly watched the NFs. I liked Eurovision, but this year, with all going on, I felt guilty and ashamed. I have been ashamed of being a eurofan before, but not on this level. I felt like I was trapped in a glass box, kicking and screaming at the ebu but they had airpods in. The answer was so obvious. Ban Isreal, like you did with Russia. People were harassing artists for competing, especially Olly, who I realised had no choice in the matter anyways. I ended up thinking “just get through the week, soon it will be over, and you’ll have fun with your friend.” I have never wanted Eurovision week over in my life. I just wasnt excited. Europapa basically became my ride or die, built upon my love for the Netherlands, and the genuine good vibes of the song. Joost was charismatic, and the song had a nice story. Another one of my friends, who realised I was eurofan after I posted a video on my story where you could see my Dowue Bob poster (I have my reasons for keeping it), found a watch party and it was free. She had her drivers license so she could get us there, and my other friend and I agreed. It would be fun, I would bring my Dutch flag and my orange beanie and wear my Sam Ryder shirt.

The first semi happened. My friend came over, we slept on the couch. I enjoyed myself, the qualifiers werent shocking though and I guessed 9/10 of them. It was pretty mid, but it was fun. The only issue was Poland being robbed and the Australian commentary on SBS being dicks to Portugal, which they backtracked in the final. It was insufferable, but the worst was yet to come.

The second semi. I was so excited to see Joost perform and bonded with my Dutch coworker over him and his song, which honestly was beautiful. If she didnt know how much I love the Netherlands before, she does now. I did notice that when Israel qualified, all the sickness in my stomach just exited the room, as the worst that could happen, happened. But sadly, I knew it would happen. Seeing the videos, however, of Palestine protesters and the booing and shouting, despite attempts to silence us, was beautiful. It showed exactly where the fandom stood, what we thought. And my mum was even happy about Israel being treated like bullshit.

And then shit started to go down.

The second semi press conference. The kaarija video. Joost being followed around for propaganda content by Israel. Joost’s “why not” and throwing the Dutch flag over his head. Marina falling asleep (queen). Bambi being dehumanised by Israel’s delegation and asshole of a commentator. Zionists kept making excuses and I got a few threats on TikTok of all places for supporting a bully manchild. Well, fuck you, at least I am not suporting genocide. It was a mess. My friend asked me for my opinions on the qualification while at work and i basically told her I didn’t want to talk about it. I looked so sad on break my coworker offered me a banana.

“Treat Eden Golan as human! She’s only 20” I wondered, how could I? How could I treat someone as human when they were basically a puppet, a face for a genocidal nation. How could I do that when that same genocidal nation was tearing apart the one thing I loved? Her delegation certainly didn’t treat Joost Klein as human; certainly just as another tool they could use to promote their propaganda machine. I felt sick. He wasn’t the only one. I was so proud of Joost, and I will always be proud of him, I think. What he did during the press conference after semi 2 took guts. Normally I would be pissed at a delegation getting mistreated like this, but not today. As far as I was concerned, this was good riddance. Get the fuck out, you’re not wanted here.

On Saturday, I started to realise I had this heavy feeling in my chest and it wasn’t leaving. I felt on edge, and yet I was a world away in Australia. I listened to “I can do it with a broken heart” fifty times on my way to work that day, confident that maybe I could power through this matinee shift without cracking. My favourite thing in the whole world was falling apart before my eyes, and it was easily avoided. I felt sick at work, there were points when I was thinking “I can’t do this.” But I could. I would. I would get through this shift. I messaged one of my friends in NL asking her how she was and she said she also wasnt having a good time, to which I confessed not wanting to get out of bed that morning because I was so sick with discomfort.

People were continually asking my thoughts, if I enjoyed the shows, the memes were sent and I had to put on a brave face because crying over a song contest is stupid and im a coward and hate being an outspoken activist.

The final straw for me was Joost Klein getting disqualified. This would have been a devastating blow for me no matter which nation it was, but it being the Netherlands, the one country I love more than anything else, the one song that was basically my ride or die in this shitshow of a year: well it felt personal. It showed the double standards of the EBU- how could an incident, hardly worth a fine, get Joost kicked out of ESC when Israel waltzed in with a smugass grin and a kill count. If it was about Joost's parents, I hope he hit them hard. the misleading information, the lack of transparency, and AVROTROS's discomfort over the whole ordeal was the cherry on the cake and really, actually showed me in full colour who the EBU were and that they didn't give two shits, bending the rules for Eden and using everyone else as scapegoats. That Joost, or any of the other artists were not allowed to have boundaries. Instantly I messaged my friend, and went “I am not fucking going to this watch party.” She agreed with me, the vibes would be off and probably zionist. My other friend, who was staying the night, was still keen to watch ESC. Instead of going to the livestream in Hurstville, we all came to mine at 5am and we elected to watch together. To finish what we started. As my friend said, “it could be the last one.”

I saw myself witnessing the death of Eurovision. All because someone wouldnt fucking kick out a country. When I woke up in the morning, I saw that Bambi had posted a statement saying they had issues with Israel and the delegation, and even the EBU fully admitted that Israel had broken rules. Yet where was the punishment?

I will confess the 5am start time hurt more this time around. Normally I would be bounding down the stairs, box of chips in hand, and excited to see the memes. Today, it just hurt. Dancing around to Europapa didn’t hide the emptiness in my soul about the disqualification, about the double standards enacted by the EBU this year. The interval acts were mid. Petra talking about the rules, saying shit like “it’s apolitical” stung with irony I had never felt before. I put on a brave face and I had as much fun as I could but in reality, I was sad and angry. Wishing I had gotten into that play. That I had the guts to boycott and explain to people why. That Joost wasnt disqualified for shit Eden Golan would have gotten away with.

After the show, I felt empty. Switzerland won, and congrats to them obviously, I like The Code. But after the shitshow of this week, all I felt was free and relieved. Israel still came top 5 and it confirmed what was sickeningly true. People still support Israel. People were still pulling the “Croatia robbed” game, unaware how tone deaf that feels in the current circumstances. It didn’t matter who won, as long as it wasn’t Israel, but it never felt like Israel lost. All I wanted to do was cry. My friend was showing me Eurovision memes probably unaware that I had been through the worst Eurovision of my life, and just wanted to cry and be left alone. No hate to her obviously but I was fucking trying to hold it together all morning, but I couldn't express my emotions on the matter. I hope AVROTROS sue the shit out of the EBU. I hope Joost gets a hero’s welcome home in the Netherlands. I hope past artists speak out. I hope Isreal gets banned.

I will be celebrating the small wins this year. I will be streaming the artists that stood up to the ebu, streaming the ones that spoke out, and of course, continuing to support Joost Klein. I will never forget watching Ukraine sail past Israel in the televote, a win of itself. I am thankful to those in the arena that spoke out against the EBU and booed both Israel and Osterdahl. To those who smuggled in flags, to those who refused to be silent. I will get over this, I will, but seeing the outcome of this week leaves little joy. I hope this isnt the end of Eurovision, but wherever we go now, I think a part of me did die this week.

#this ended up being 2000 words but i needed it out and off my chest. i needed to share it. i felt betrayal as a eurofan #i have just had such a brave face all week and i can't with this thing i used to love #at least i have therapy content #honestly #i just want to talk about how awful this year was from the perspective of a fan and trust me most of the fandom is wanting the ebu's demise #i hope they learn but they wont #if you are fucking rude about this ill block you on sight #and if you are a zionist #well fuck you too #fuck eurovision #eurovision 2024 #eurovision #fuck the ebu

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peoples-problem · 2 months

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Little fic idea that I had yesterday

Idk how people do this but I have seen a lot of people sharing their fics and I wanted to post this idea somewhere bc it might end in nothing

Chimney is a small director that starts from the bottom: some little movies that get as much attention as a family video of a vacation and some that maybe get played on an unknown channel at the worst rating times, but he takes it all as learning and slowly ascending towards something bigger. He isn't expecting to get to the big screen or get an academy award but every time he catches a project of his on tv he can feel like he did something and that's enough for him. This changes, somehow, and it's neither more nor less than thanks to a elderly woman that enjoys her time doing sapping on between channels and finds his tv show and gets so passionate about it that starts recommending it to her friends, another group of elderly women that, statistically, shouldn't do much, until one of the ears that this show lands on is the mother of a very well known online platform for cinema, who, for some reason, decides to give the small little show a shot and ends up as caught up as the rest of the chain that took the rumor of a good program to him. A week later, he contracts the director and offers to upload the entirety of the show in his platform and things escalate from there

Buck is no big actor, he isn't even sure if he wanted to be one before his friend told him he was a natural while reading out loud the new script of his new idea ("I just feel like something is missing, I need a new perspective, read it for me please" he had asked demanded and Buck, like the good friend he was, helped him to get out of this "art block". Apparently, what was missing was himself) but humored him by attending to some auditions with other people and suddenly he was placed as the star of this TV show. It's easy, for him, to get into his character's skin, most of the things he comes through and the stuff that isn't he can figure it out, until, after a whole season of no-love-interest for his character, Chimney decides that it's time to give him exactly that (the renewal for the second season comes with the big platform and a new and expanding viewership that is begging to get the character in love with someone and so they are willing to comply) and there the slight problem that Buck has never been in love with anyone. He doesn't know how it feels, he can't relate to what other people say it feels and every time he tries to imitate what he does see Chimney cuts him out telling him that a plant could have better chemistry with his costar (And, honestly, Abby is great and everything but she's definitely not his type and even if she is good in her acting her tips aren't working for him) than him. Or, at least, that's how it goes until he meets Eddie and starts thinking of him while acting and somehow Chimney complains a lot less about his falling-in-love interpretation

Eddie is a normal guy (maybe I can maintain Eddie's cannon story) who has a son with a dream that he is going to be damned if he can't help come true. Fame wasn't anything that he ever pursued, not even thought about paying attention to, but then he is telling his son that even with his disability he is going to be able to get to be whatever he wants to be, because it might be harder but never impossible, and his son looks at him in the eyes and says that he wants to be an actor and who is him to stop him? He would never ever think about it. So, he does what he supposes is the only thing he can do: support him. First, he takes him to some acting classes, try out if he really likes it and improve himself; after their first little show (a small thing in the local theater to show their progress at the end of their course) Christopher looks at him with stars in his eyes and tells him with all the conviction in the world "Dad, I really want to do this for a living" and, again, Eddie couldn't even think in telling him no. He takes him to every audition he can find and, even though they get very few callbacks, he ends up in some small ads and shorts. It's in one of those that he meets Chimney. It was probably the worst audition they ever had gone to, it wasn't even a big production and they were really specific with the kid they were looking for: Curly blond, 8 to 12 years old, male. Christopher met all the requirements so, maybe, the problem started with his predisposition and high hopes about getting the role but the real punch in the gut was the straightforward disregard he got the second he entered the audition room, one of the auditioners telling him that they were looking for "normal kids" and asking them to retreat immediately, and Eddie kind of lost it. He asked Christopher to wait outside, praying to all gods that he could be able to cheer him up later with the promise that this people didn't know what they were missing or something, and then proceeded to rant all over the auditioners team, getting even close to punch one of them when they kept insisting that his kid's CP was a telling sign that they should be looking elsewhere for a career, when he managed to barely contain himself and leave the room before security was called (this place was one of the most common places for auditions and he would never forgive himself if they get banned and miss any opportunity they can get because of his anger issues) when he come across this Asian man that was trying to calm his son down ("Are you waiting for your dad to come out of an audition? He sounds really passionate, that's usually really good for an actor, it's hard to pretend to be this infuriated" he was saying. "Nah, dad can't act to save his life, he is really bad at lying, I think he is actually really mad because they didn't let me audition" Christopher answered with a small laugh. "Wait, you are the star here? That's great! I'm actually looking for auditions for a kid for my show right now, would you like to give it a shot?")

Christopher gets the role as Buck's character's son. He is adopted on the first episode of the second season of the show, when Buck's character had ended in good terms for the first season (Chimney wanted to end it with a happy ending, just in case it didn't get renewed) and this new acquisition is so game changing that there's a lot to explore there. It helps that Christopher is still a little shy with Buck because both their characters and themselves can grow together as the filming goes on just like their fictional bond does, but by the time they are comfortable with each other they still have a few more episodes of the season and Chimney really wants Buck to get at least a love interest, someone that he can start trying to fit in his new family dynamic of being a single father and leave it a little open to see if it gets the public attention and be able to expand it in another season (and the possibilities of having another renewal are way higher now, with all the popularity they are gaining) but then they have this scene that Buck should "fall in love at first sight" (or at least start getting some interest in a romantic life) with someone and they get stuck. They do so many takes that the sun goes down and, before they notice, Eddie arrives to take Christopher home for the night (he started leaving his son there after the first few weeks of filming, needing to go to work and the team having won his trust with his kid) when they still needed to finish a scene with him ("Sorry, that's on me" Buck jumped even before Eddie could ask for the reason, not wanting him to be mad at Chimney for something that was definitely his fault). At the next day, the story repeats itself a little and when Buck loses count of how many takes they were on, he starts thinking about how Eddie would be upset about not being able to take his son with him because it ended up being too late for them again and, for some reason, Chim says that there's some improvement for the first time after that though. He then starts spending time with Eddie, offering to take Christopher home after recording so he doesn't have to get out of his way to pick him up ("Your house is just a step away from mine anyway, I have to pass close there already, it's not that big of a deal" Buck insisted although he never even know where they lived. Turns out that it was not, in fact, even close to his apartment, but he didn't mind taking the kid there anyway) or because it worked as character study (it was probably the dumbest excuse Buck has ever said but Eddie smiled at him and accepted the invite to take Buck and Christopher's day off playing videogames on him apartment anyway ("it would be weird to invite just Chris so of course you can tag on" Buck joked, knowing full well that he also wanted to spend time with Eddie, Christopher just cheered at the idea). Turns out, his "character study" did work because, not only he learned from Eddie himself how to act like a better fictional dad but he also explored his feelings towards the guy. Admitting that he fell in love with him so fast was a little bit humiliating but adding up to the fact that he was using him to become better at acting was even worse so he kept it all as a secret, especially if one truth came with the other.

Before anyone can notice, Buck is acting like an actual dad for Christopher (mainly when Eddie is not there, like informing the team that Chris had exams and to let him take a few days off to study, keeping snacks around all the time and checking up on him whenever he is free; but also off set, like helping with a school project that apparently covers something he investigated about, going to movie nights and cooking dinner for them in the most domestic thing he has ever experienced, getting groceries and taking or picking him up from school sometimes) and Eddie can't even be mad at him when he just fits so perfectly there, with them, and he is the first person that doesn't make him feel bad when asking for help. When the season is done recording and the excuse of "character study" gets paused until they get (or not, and that actually sound more like a breakup than it should) their renewal, Eddie realizes that he doesn't want Buck away and, suddenly, the thing between them feels too much like love ("Look, I don't know what you did here but I can't even imagine my life without you anymore and it's scary because you are the first person that I feel actually terrified of losing, like you are it for me, like I need you to have house arrest in my house" He said, still not realizing how much of a love confession that sound like "I think I wouldn't mind to be house arrested in your house" Buck said, smiling brightly, and kissing him to seal the deal. A kiss that just sounds too much like "oh, that makes sense" into Eddie's head, like a "It looks like I'm in love with you")

"So, this show has a lot of new actors, your star is on his first acting job even, where do you even get them from?" An interviewer asked Chimney in the premier of the first episode of the second season. "Well, it's a running joke that I just find actors at the side of the road and adopt them to work for me, I met Buck because he is my girlfriend's brother and he was just visiting while I was in the middle of an art block, Chris I found him in a random hallway auditioning for another show and asked him to audition for me instead, then Abby was on one of this fast food places that I can't mention the brand of reading some scripts when I approached her like 'Hey, you an actress? Do you mind if I give you a script and a contact card?' and then she called me back to get an audition; basically everyone I contacted was in a non fashion way but I just followed my instincts and so far it worked my way" Chimney answered (Chim met Maddie when she was with Dough, he was screaming at her on the street and he decided to intervene, he got stabbed for his problem but Dough ended up in jail and she visited him every day until they escalated to boyfriend's at some point after him being released from the hospital)

Idk what to say after this, it was mostly inspired on Ryan and Gavin's relationship and that comment of "that's my son" from Ryan but inside the show and some actors aus I read

If someone likes the idea feel free to use it too! Just send it to me if you do bc I'll love to read if this becomes a thing for someone

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thepalmofyourfreezinghand · 9 months

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Joe loves acting and success and fame just like every working actor out there, but his idea of success isn't really realistic imo. He can book any role out there but he doesn't take any risks, because he's so careful with his picks, poor receptions always hit him too hard.

as an actor is coming up, they eventually learn the ebb and flow of the industry, but he never had that, he immediately got a fantastic agent and the best connections.

Normally he'd end up with an obnoxious ego like every other handsome tall man with a british accent, but it was the opposite, with Ang Lee and later Taylor, I'd say he just got the Imposter Syndrome of the century.

Paul Mescal at least had some works out before making it, but signing someone that has ZERO roles to their name? I don't blame joe one second for lacking the confidence. It's lowkey lunacy.

Maybe Joe is too afraid of not living up to expectations? I'm not sure if I'm giving him too much grace, but it's how I read the situation

Okay, so, I mostly agree, but I’d say that he’s actually gotten plenty of rejection (just based on the few projects we know he auditioned for and didn’t get and his comments about rejection), and that it’s probably hurt him more than it’d hurt an actor who’s had a “normal” rise to fame.

When you get specifically picked out of hundreds of applicants by a two-time best-director Oscar winner before you even finish drama school, but then none of your performances are ever unanimously loved by the critics, you’re bound to have impostor syndrome. Honestly Joe’s case is so peculiar and I struggle to think of anyone in Hollywood who’s had his trajectory: there’s really no-one he can compare himself to and no-one who can understand his specific history. I’m not trying to be dramatic, because every actor’s history is different and he’d have trouble understanding what most others actors feel too, obviously. But I really can’t think of anyone (famous) who has to face his specific struggles in Hollywood (though plenty of actors face WAY worse struggles).

He’s loved and cherished and complimented left and right by some of the best directors alive (I’m thinking about Ang Lee basically falling in love with him and trusting him endlessly, Yorgos who keeps going back to him, Claire saying that meeting him was the best thing about filming SAN…), BUT he struggles to get good reviews and, although he’s smart about the roles he picks, he’s also unlucky about how they turn out (I mean, The Favourite is really the only universally loved project he’s been in).

I don’t know, I’ve always appreciated how much thought he puts into his roles and the fact that - bar few exceptions - he doesn’t “work just to work” but he picks his roles carefully. And this is NOT me being elitist or whatever (I ABSOLUTELY understand that most actors have to pay their dues and they have to accept whatever role comes in, because most actors don’t have his luck and just can’t afford to be picky - and the strike is further proof of that), but since he (luckily) can afford to be picky, I honestly appreciate that he is and that he only chooses roles he’s passionate about. The ONE time we know almost for sure he accepted a role just to work (LLFYL), it ended up being his worst performance to date hahah.

I also think this is not appreciated enough about him, but 6 of his 15 projects so far have been directed by women. That’s a 40% rate, and it’s a fucking lot. And when he was asked which directors he wanted to work with in the future, quite a few of them were women, and he was very specific about their names, it wasn’t just a “I’d like to work with a female director because they’re awesome and they need more representation!” (an answer you often hear and we even heard from some of his co-stars). And you can say that the bar is on the floor or whatever, I don’t care, FAR from me to applaud men for the bare minimum, but the truth is that most actors in the industry (men AND women) simply do not have the track record that he has of working with women directors.

Returning to your point, I mostly agree, and I absolutely think that he’s afraid and he suffers from major impostor syndrome and he questions himself too much and he doesn’t seem to have Taylor’s ability to turn his anxiety and his self-doubts into better performances or a will to prove others wrong. I think when he’s in a pit he’s in a pit and it takes him a bit to climb back up, and that surely doesn’t help.

I CAN’T WAIT for his first work interview after the split (unfortunately it might be a bit with the FUNDAMENTAL strike), because I think that being separated from Taylor is actually gonna make him open up a bit more about certain topics, but we’ll see.

(This turned into a long ass rant but I’m sorry, Joe is just too interesting of a character not to discuss, I don’t get people who think he’s boring ahskshsksjdh).

#joe alwyn

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babybluebex · 1 year

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okay so modern!enjolras. absolutely a grad student.

you see him for the first time while he's putting up one of those "'tutor available for latin/polisci/french studies' with the little tabs on it so you can take the number/email" flyers onto a bulletin board in the commons. and he's so gorgeous that of course you take one of the papers with his contact info, not even realizing what he's tutoring for. but it's cool, you're taking one of those courses. (he's the sort of student to have a leather messenger bag and never use a laptop, just a pen and notebook, but somehow his notes are flawless??? and dresses like he's auditioning for henry from the secret history? there is ABSOLUTELY room for academic rivals to lovers but i digress...)

he's happy to help you with midterm prep, so you meet up once a week maybe after class just to review and help take notes. he's professional, but when you take a break he talks about how he's head of the student union, or how he's helping plan a protest, or that his friend who works for the school newspaper is helping uncover some social justice scandal or other and he's so proud and excited. and one day you see him outside a commons area handing out flyers from a cause close to him, and you jokingly ask if he actually goes to class or not.

you start to attend protests and meetings and joining clubs. you really do care about the causes he fights for; spending time with him is just a bonus. it's amazing how someone can take hold of a conversation and steer it so confidently, so passionately, yet somehow sit comfortably on the other end of the spectrum and listen deeply to you when you have something to say. enjolras is a true gentleman as well; always guiding you to the inside of the sidewalk, always keeping touches light and necessary, always holding doors open for you. after you finish your midterm, he takes you to a pub to celebrate. (passing is neither here nor there; you made it through the term, and that deserves praise.) most of the students in your program have the same idea. you spend time with him at the pub, sure, but by this time you have mutual friends. and there's something about meeting his eyes from across the room -- looking for him, and knowing he's looking for you -- that makes that night different.

he insists on walking you home. you hate to go back to your dull, drafty dorm (the cost of living in a building raised in the 1800s), so he invites you to stay with him in his little apartment. you know it's just a dance. an excuse. but he's an expert at it, and you're just learning the steps -- a teacher, a student -- so you let him take the lead. he knows you're putty in his hands. knows he can ask anything of you and you'd do it. (god knows there are plenty of other students he tutors or works with in unions/clubs that could say the same.) so enjolras leaves things open for you, and though you're in his arms by the end of the night it's because you entered his embrace, not because he crowded into your space and trapped you there.

you knew he was morally passionate, intellectually skilled. you'd dreamt about how that passion and skill might translate to the bedroom -- but you never realized how true that was. by the expert way he handles your body, you know you're not his first. but by the way he looks into your eyes, the fire behind his gaze, the way he whispers your name and slips back into french when he enters you because he's so flustered, so taken with you, betrays something. yes, he's had others; but none of them were you. he's overwhelmed by it. consumed by it. he takes it slow, not just because he's being gentle with you but because he wants to savour it. but that familiar ferocity you've seen in him rears up when he's chasing his own end, fingers knotting the sheets by your head, face tucked against your neck as you come down from the high he held you through.

god help him if anyone hurts you after that, if anyone touches you without your permission, if you're in trouble. you quickly learn that when he's around, you do not carry your books. yes, he's all about equality, but he will still treat you like royalty.

my brain is still caught on the night you first sleep with each other, so i'm ending it here but. i have feelings about modern!student!enjolras.

me with this ask

yes yes yes to all of this. the sweet tenderness of your first night together, the playfulness that you have that is a through line in your relationship, the FRENCH…. whew. oh my GOD.

#bex answers #hard-candy-writing #bbc!enjolras x reader

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glitterslittleuniverse · 1 year

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SVT Girls Profile: HAERIM

Stage Name: HAERIM (해림)

Birth Name: Jeon Hae Rim (전해림)

Position: Co-Leader, Main Dancer, Vocalist

Sub-Unit: Performance Team, SVT Leaders, DIAMOND DREAM

Birthday: May 17, 1995

Birthplace: Incheon, South Korea

Nationality: Korean

Height: 168cm (5'6ft)

Zodiac: Taurus

MBTI: ESFJ

Facts

Haerim grew up in an apartment in Incheon with her Mother, Father and younger sister.

Growing up, dancing was her greatest passion and although her parents didn't think it was a good career choice at first they supported her nonetheless.

Great things come in small packages, that's what she believed when she auditioned for Pledis Entertainment. Her parents were confused as to why she would audition for a small, struggling agency instead of a bigger one but Haerim always has faith in the smallest things. She was accepted by Pledis in 2010.

She studied at Hanlim Arts High School. She was class mates with ONF's Wyatt and former Wanna One member Ong Seongwu. She graduated in 2014.

Seventeen has two leaders, Haerim and S.Coups. They are both the oldest members and they have also trained the longest.

In Seventeen's trainee days she was the performance leader. However she convinced the company to make Hoshi the performance leader instead because she thought he suited the role better.

Loves sports and can be super competitive. She isn't afraid to get ruff, especially with the boys.

Personality

Outgoing, loyal, organized and tender-hearted, Haerim is the care-taker of Seventeen.

Always encourages others to be their best, she never gives up on anyone.

Sensitive to the needs and feelings of the members, she would drop everything in an instant and rush to their side if they ever need her. They are the heart of everything she does. She always thinks of them how her decisions effect the group.

Haerim is kind and generous but she can easily be hurt by rude or unkind behavior, especially if it's towards her team. She also doesn't take criticism very well and she worries about what other people think about her.

Strong will to be in control. She loves organizing, planning and scheduling. She sometimes can be a bit too controlling and strict but she's learned to take a step back and trust the members.

She's insecure in situations when things are uncertain or out of her control. She can easily feel helpless in times like these. She's grateful for her co-leader Seungchol for being by her side. They lead the team together and are always supporting and encouraging each other.

Affectionate and understanding. Haerim is a careful observer of others, she knows the moment something is wrong. She's quick to comfort and encourage, she wont let someone be sad for too long.

Loves nothing more then spending time with the members. She makes sure to spend one on one time with each of them regularly. She genuinely cares for them and their well-being. They're the most important people in her life, they're her family.

Described by the members as a warm-hearted, empathetic leader who always puts the needs of others before her own.

#kpop oc #kpop fanfiction #kpop fictional idol #kpop added member #kpop additional member #seventeen addition #seventeen added member #seventeen 14th member #seventeen 15th member #seventeen 16th member #seventeen 17th member #glitterhart svtgirls #illusion!ocnet

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tmwwriting · 5 months

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Inspired by the outrageous costs of both classical and jazz concerts near me. And because you can never have enough crackfic AU - Orchestra ideas:

Diana Burnwood and 47 as the concert mistress and pianist for the most prestigious philharmonic in the world.

Diana, who enters the industry bloody and with a little chip on her shoulder from her name and her money and her tragic, dead family—hiding it (poorly) behind ruthless competence. Unassuming and polite but so, so hungry. Watches. Learns. Claws her way to 1st chair at a perfectly respectable orchestra.

Recruited to the ICA when Erich Soders attends one of her concerts and poaches her from the organization who can't match the ICA's offer. The only seat available is with the second violins, but Diana trusts Soders when he tells her to be patient.

She's the one who finds 47 and has him audition for the ICA residency program. There will never be any soloist better, the board knows that before he's ten measures into the concerto she picked out for him, and they lock him into a hefty contract to keep him at ICA.

Diana eventually replaces Soders a few years later as 1st chair, though he claims his retirement was voluntary and he's very happy on the board now, thank you very much.

vs.

Lucas Grey and Olivia Hall in a wildly popular jazz ensemble that's blowing people away with their sheer passion and skill and they've gone viral over the past few years with their stunts aimed at criticizing the music industry as a whole.

The music translates better when it's democratized the way they're so careful to do, when it's played in subway stations and cheap bars and street corners. (They never get the proper permits, but they're gone by the time anyone comes along to check.)

They don't offer tickets for sale—they cover their own overhead at the places they play—nor give any kind of advance notice of where they'll be playing next. There's only a website with a single page with no useful information, and a massive cult following on social media.

It's a little creepy how their drummer seems to be wearing a rubber mask meant to look like a face, but it's very dark in a lot of these clubs, so who knows for sure.

They particularly bother Soders, who spends more time than he should bitching about this group to anyone who will listen, and who takes their criticism of gatekeeping and snobbery a bit too personally. Olivia leaks an audio recording of an ICA board meeting to the media, then reposts a report of it on a burner account with the caption "kicked dogs yelp".

#hitman #agent 47 #diana burnwood #olivia hall #lucas grey #my boy rolf owns a popular jazz club in berlin obvs

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upside-down-sock-drawer · 7 months

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Dear All Shook Up,

It is 8:36, on Sunday, November 12th, 2023. I just got out of the shower after the closing night of our show.

When I walked into that building for auditions, I was terrified. I mean, would they even want me? Sure, I'd done a production with this director before, but it was just a silly highschool one. Why would they want me?

When I walked into that building for our first dance rehearsal, I was terrified. Dance isn't my strong suit. Sure I love it, but I'm just not that good.

When I walked into music rehearsal for the first time, I was terrified. I had two friends, neither of which I was terribly close to. I didn't know what to do.

That was 3 months ago. A lot happens in three months.

We weren't ready. We were running so short on time, the leads didn't know their lines, the chorus hardly knew our music. We were running out of time.

When I first stepped on that stage, with my hair done, in my pretty blue dress, I felt it.

The thing they don't tell you about theater, is that there's magic involved. From an outside standpoint, I sound crazy. But when you get everything together, with a cast who's been working their asses off for three months, something magical happens. Shows blend together, and they make sense.

All Shook Up, you have given me things I will never be able to replace. I've made friends that I'm going to have for life. I'm a part of something so much greater than myself. A family.

All Shook Up, you've given me people I will love for the rest of my life. You've given me best friends, a girlfriend, a mother, sisters, brothers. A family. You've given me my first theater dance break, my first lift, my first shot at real acting, and even my first kiss.

We laughed, we cried, we held hands, we held eachother. We put lipstick marks on a door, we snuck candy in between numbers, we screamed random lines before shows, we put glitter on our ears. We danced backstage, we serenaded eachother, we memorized lines that weren't even ours to memorize. We even put ridiculous amounts of hairspray in our hair to the point where I'm pretty sure some of it infected our brains. We made jokes that will never be understood by anyone but us.

There's magic in a theater. Especially an old one, that's been used by hundreds of great people before us. Everyone leaves a little bit of themselves behind in that theater, and they create a magic that makes shows the amazing things that they are.

I am so incredibly grateful to have been able to perform this amazing show ith amazing people in an amazing historic theater. It's changed me. I'm different now, than I was before this.

All Shook Up, you have taken 3 months of my life, my devotion, my focus, my passion, and most importantly my free time. And I don't regret a single moment of it.

All Shook Up, you have changed my life for the better. You have made me a different person.

Now, you're over. The curtain fell on us one last time. Our props and costumes have all been moved out. We will never again perform that same show with those same people. It's sad.

But as I watched the water swirl down the drain, carrying away the last of the show from my body, I didn't cry. I smiled.

This is one more step on my theater journey that I will love and treasure forever. I have so many new adventures waiting for me right around the corner. I'm not crying tears of sadness anymore, they're tears of joy.

This show is all about love. Everyone is all falling in love in ways they never knew they could. And I did too. With the theater, with a girl, with this family.

I love you, All Shook Up

Sincerely, your devoted chorus member, Florence.

#letter to my show #i can hardly believe it's over #i've been crying all day #i love this show #thanks to everyone who has been so supportive of me throughout this #it's been such an adventure #i love everyone and everything #theater is amazing #theater kid #musical theater #end of a show #end of an era

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cornfields-td-nonsense · 5 months

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i kinda wanna know more of esther as a character, how her personality differs from zeeks, how her farmgirl brain works, etc. it would also be cute to see if the siblings have any quirks they share

Yesss an excuse to talk about the character that kicked this whole thing off! You will (probably) not regret this.

Alright y'all might have seen that character ref sheet I made of her a little while back. It was made back when I was first creating her (before most of the nautilus cast even existed) and I'm thinking of redoing it, just to keep it up to date. There haven't been any super drastic changes but I wanna make sure it's all accurate. Anyway, Esther time!

(This turned into a life story recap so im putting it under a readmore so it doesn't clog ur feed :P)

Like her older brother Ezekiel, Esther was born and raised on a farm far from the alien world of the suburbs, by Mary and Patrick Miller (bonus points to anyone who can guess who the parents are named after). And, like Zeke, Esther was taught some... regressive values by her father. She was described as a 'free spirit' as a child - she couldn't sit still, she'd hurt herself while climbing trees or playing with the animals and brush it off like it was nothing, and she seemed to have an endless well of energy and enthusiasm for pretty much anything. But as time went by, Patrick decided that these traits had stopped being cute or endearing, as he viewed her free-spirited nature as something to grow out of. And quickly.

When Esther and Zeke were still young, but old enough to work with food without injuring themselves, Mary would allow them to help her in the kitchen, preparing meals and baked goods. It was some great and valuable bonding time for the siblings, and for them and their mother. But then Zeke turned thirteen and Patrick decided that just like that, it was time for him to become a man - and as he saw it, men certainly should not waste their time in the kitchen. The more the siblings grew older, the more it felt to both of them - Esther especially - that they were being raised individually by their parents. Patrick taught Zeke to toughen up and act more like the future 'man of the house' should, and Esther was taught domestic chores by Mary. Both of them had to 'know their place', but Esther always felt like her mother's heart wasn't in it. She didn't show nearly the same passion in teaching Esther to sit still, smile, and speak when spoken to, as Patrick showed when teaching Zeke how to hunt. (He never talked about what happened on these hunting trips, and Esther never asked. She got the feeling he didnt want to talk about them.) Neither Mary nor Esther were happy with their place, and though they never spoke about it, there was a sort of camaraderie between them, an unspoken understanding that they were in the same boat.

Then Zeke found out from his permitted 10 minutes of television per day that there was going to be this new show called Total Drama. And everything changed.

Esther actually helped her brother audition - they both worked together to make their father extra happy so he'd be more likely to say yes. Esther tried extra hard to do all her chores to perfection, didn't complain once, and almost forgot what the sound of her own voice was like. Patrick said it was the most well-behaved he'd ever seen her. (She had to accidentally-on-purpose burn the food and knock over the milk jug the week after to make herself feel better.) And she even held the camera to record Zeke's audition tape.

They... probably should have taken the fact that Zeke accidentally shot Mary with a fake arrow as a bad omen, and not sent in the tape. That's what Esther thought later, anyway.

The episodes air and Zeke is the first boot. Patrick is not happy about this. What followed was Patrick spending the rest of the day at the nearest available phone, making a series of long angry phone calls to the producers of the show, while Mary and Esther go about their day wearing earplugs.

I should mention that Esther was twelve at this time, soon to turn thirteen, and she was kind of dreading her birthday. Given how much had changed when Zeke hit this milestone, she didn't want to think about what would happen if the same was in store for her.

Turns out not much was different, to her relief. She was sent on more errands out of the house, but that was pretty much it.

This marked the point of Esther spending more and more time outside of the house, always returning home late and having some excuse in her back pocket. Being at home was just... too complicated. With Zeke gone, tensions were rising, and she did not want to be there when they boiled over.

Spending more time out of the house also gave Esther ample opportunity to snag more time watching TD. She managed to watch the first two full seasons while sitting in a 70s themed diner with a tiny little TV set that happened to play a lot of Total Drama. And, like literally every other preteen/early teen girl watching TDI, she had a crush on Gwen. Watching the show was the starting point for her figuring out she was bisexual, which was a whole journey in of itself.

Not only that, but watching the girls on the show helped Esther question what Patrick had instilled in her. These girls were strong, and cool, and skilled, and smart. The final four were two boys, two girls. The final two was a boy and a girl. They were equals, something that wouldn't have been revolutionary to your average viewer, but was utterly earth-shattering to Esther.

Then after TDA, Zeke returned for a little while and he seemed... different? But he was still Zeke and Esther was just happy to see him.

And then he got called back.

And then World Tour happened.

And Esther watched the whole thing unfold in that 70s-style diner, watching everything her brother went through on that tiny little television set while surrounded by people who had no idea who she was.

...

Okay that was a downer so have a few light hearted Esther facts to wrap this thing up

- She had a pet horseshoe when she was five. She tied twine around it like a leash and dragged it along the ground behind her. She named it Harry.

- Her favourite colour is green.

- She used to go digging for buried treasure out in the fields when she was young. It got so bad that her parents thought there was a mole infestation. She did find a few old coins, a bottle and a handful of animal bones, so that was pretty cool.

- She and Zeke used to play 'the corn chip game'. The idea was that you would take it in turns to eat from a plate of corn chips, only taking a small handful at most each turn, and the person who ate the last chip was the loser. It would get very competitive, and made a single plate of chips last hours. No joke. You were technically allowed to break the chips to create more, but you had to do a forfeit if they broke (usually stuff like: kiss the ground, say the ABCs while standing on your head, drink pond water).

#total drama #total drama nautilus #tdn esther #the zeke archives #total drama oc

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hologramcowboy · 1 year

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I do believe Jensen is trying but it may not be enough. It’s obvious that he’s struggling to get the roles and work that I think he THOUGHT he would have. He changed agents in 2019 and used the Bacchus King, Nascar and Vancouver soccer events as PR to elevate his image before spn ended.

Jared bowed out of that soccer tourney to give Jensen the solo PR.

He auditioned for the voice of Batman in an open casting process in 2018 and landed a series of three animation movies which he recorded bt 2018 and 2021.

Jensen seemed to panic a bit during s15 hiatus when he had nothing lined up. He worked his connnections as anyone seeking work should. He had meetings with CW execs, WB execs — probably asking for a holding deal (jared got one so I am sure he believed he should too). He reached out to Kripke to see if he had anything. (Which he did with SB). WB gave him the production company in lieu of a holding deal or a series to star in. So he was pretty booked in 2021 bt The Boys, Batman voice, Rust, and his EP duties of CMP (as limited as they were).

Fast forward to post Rust (Nov 2021). He admitted he had nothing lined up going into 2022 and again he panicked a bit a asked his agent to schedule introductions meetings along with him contacting his network on his own. Jared lines him up for a Walker directing gig, and he secures a guest role on Big Sky for the s2 finale.

Going into 2022, he hired a new PR team (Narrative) and had to change agents again (bc his previous one committed suicide in January 2022).

Narrative and/or his agent secured him the Hawaii pro am in January to play with one of the stars from Cobra Kai and Sony’s CEO (the one that claims The Boys and Cobra Kai as it’s two biggest wins).

Narrative secured the Man About Town placement and extended photoshoot that they’ve used in their media pitches.

He went all out on The Boys PR.

And in the spring also secured regular role on BS.

Now it’s end of 2022. What’s lined up for 2023?

TW is a bust. And doesn’t seem like Narrative is managing anything to do with Chaos projects and it shows.

IF Big Sky gets another season, will Beau be a part of it? My guess is yes.

Kripke has eluded that SB will be in s5 (if they get picked up) so it’s very likely SB may make an appearance in one of the last episodes in s4 to show him getting “off ice”. But nothing is definite. Kripke also eluded that he was thinking of a SB spin-off. But nothing definite.

Jared will allow him to direct Walker and/or Windy again — and give him a part - if Jensen wants it.

Jensen is working the network as I am sure his agent is too. It’s a tough business and Jensen looks like 80% of the white male actors out there and he’s more average. While he is very hot and handsome, he’s average. Many others work on their body a lot more and doing way more artistic editorial “thirst trap” style shoots, or are into a social cause or a hobby. Some use their social to entertain. I agree with you that he needs to do something more to stand out, define who he is among the sea of actors. He has a brewery, his music, his production company and his daddy/family time. Yet he rarely talks about any of it in the public, except at cons when he’s specifically asked a question. Whereas others actors at his peer levels promote their identity — maybe its showcasing their workouts or their writing process or bts of being a producer or some cook or show their kitchen skills or some show their off time of being a dad or others post funny TikTok’s with comments and use their sm to entertain. All seem to do it consistently and that is the key secret, and where jensen lacks the most.

Is this why he is doing a Radio Co concert? This may be a fallback to keep him busy and away from family if he doesn’t have acting/directing gigs lined up. Just like most things with Jensen, music, FBBC, wife/family, CMP all seem to be side projects to support others in his life and are not true passionate projects for him. That’s what he’s projecting and the image he has created.

I get the same impression, that his Radio Company concerts are a way to have something lined up and he may not truly be passionate about any of it. Same with all the rest you mentioned, it truly seems like he is unfulfilled because he missed the mark on something. I hope he finds what is ideal for him. It's never too late and it doesn't have to match anyone's expectation of him.

"That’s what he’s projecting and the image he has created." Absolutely, people perceive his lack of commitment for all of those things.

#jensen critical

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