Summary: Paige takes you on a date for your two year anniversary.
wc: 1,971
Contains: fluff, suggestive if you squint
kinda lost it towards the end, but I hope you like it
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โCan I open my eyes now?โ You ask for the 100th time, and for the 100th time, Paige responded the same: โNo.โ
โAw, come on! Youโre killing me!โ You sigh comically loud. Paige laughs and shakes her head. โBaby, that ruins the surprise. Tha-โ
You cut her off with a whine. โI hate surprises.โ You and Paige both know you were just being dramatic, and that you were just excited.
Paige was your third relationship and your first girlfriend, and today is your second anniversary, so it was a big day for the both of you. All your other relationships ended with him cheating on you, which led to you having an abundant amount of trust issues. So itโs safe to say learning to trust Paige at the beginning of your relationship was one of the many pebbles you had to shake out of your shoe.
Paige never gave you a reason to not trust her. Never. You knew her passwords to everything, as well as most of her contacts. She was impossibly patient with you, from when youโd yell at her because you were too in your head, to when youโd give her the silent treatment when she pissed you off.
Itโs not like Paige was perfect, she had her fair share of flaws. For example, at the start of your relationship, she was extremely jealous. If you guys were out, if you were even looking in another personโs direction, sheโd shut down. Since she was in the eye of the public at all times, sheโd hold onto that anger until you guys were in a more private setting. This led to screaming matches and honestly, it wasnโt looking the best for you guys.
But after exhausting nights, painfully long conversations, and you two learning how to love each other, you made it work. Paige began to trust that you could stand up for yourself, and you began to trust that she was just head over heels for you as you were for her.
Which is how you got here, to your second year with the love of your life.
โJust a couple more minutes, ma, weโre almost there.โ Her hand squeezed your thigh in reassurance. You shake your head and put your hand over hers.
โThis better be worth it, Bueckers.โ
โIsnโt it always?โ She spoke softly, and you can hear the smile on her face.
After what felt like forever (it was 15 minutes), you feel your girlfriendโs hand leave your thigh, and the car jerk into the parking position. โWeโre here.โ She said, taking the key out of the ignition.
โCan I open my eyes now?โ you reply excitedly.
โYes, you can open your eyes now.โ Paige chuckles at your antics as you open your eyes.
You look around, processing your surroundings momentarily, before recognizing it as the local beach. You turn to your girlfriend whoโs already looking at you, eyes sparkling with what someone can only describe as undying love. โWhatโre we doing here?โ
She smiles brightly. โNow thatโs another surprise.โ You groan loudly as Paige chuckles and makes her way to open the door for you.
You walk hand in hand with Paige down to the shoreline of the beach. It was moments like these that you both cherished, the quiet moments, with just the two of you. The moments the world goes silent, and the only thing you have your attention on is the love of your life.
After walking for about 5 minutes, you two come across a blanket, strategically placed on the sand with all a bunch of treats and delights neatly organized. โHuh, I wonder what thatโs doing there.โ Paige spoke with fake surprise, and you caught the hint.
โYouโre so stupid.โ You say jokingly, looking at her, as she squeezes your hand. โI know, but you love it.โ She smiles like a kid in a candy shop. You laugh and pull her into a passionate kiss.
She sighs as your lips interlock, pulling you in by your waist. You smile into the kiss, before pulling away. โCโmon, letโs eat.โ
โI just was.โ She groaned as you pulled her onto the blanket, sitting criss-crossed as Paige lay on her side, propped up on her elbow.
โYouโre such a teenager.โ You say before Paige began opening the food.
By the time you guys had finished eating, the sky had been painted a beautiful mix of pink and orange. Itโs been about 10 minutes since one of you spoke, which was okay. The silence was comfortable as you both were just enjoying each others company, looking at the beautiful movie-like sunset. At this point, you were laying in her lap, her arms over your shoulders.
The darker it got, the colder it got, and you both decided to go back to the car. On the way back, Paige revealed she had another surprise, but this time, she didnโt make you cover your eyes to see it. You shuffled into the car, but not before you heard Paige rant about all the sand you had stuck to your body.
You both piled into the car, and Paige pulled off, leaving the beach and the first part of your date behind. You held Paigeโs hand the entire time, as her playlist played in the background of your conversations.
Itโs dark by the time you get there, but that doesnโt stop you from recognizing where you were. You gasp as the realization comes over you.
โNo fucking way.โ You look at Paige, then back outside the window.
โYou said youโd never been to a carnival, I thought Iโd be the first one to take you.โ she shrugged as if it was no big deal.
And to some, it might not seem like it, but to you, this meant more than anything. When you were younger, your dad had promised to take you to the carnival for your 14th birthday. But when you turned 13, your dad got really sick, and you never got the chance to go. You held onto the desire to go but never had the time, especially as you got older.
You look at Paige as tears roll down your face. Youโve never felt luckier to have her. โOh, baby, no, donโt cry.โ Her head glances at the road every once in a while, but her attention is on you. Her hands have left yours and have migrated to your thigh.
You laugh and wipe your tears. โI love you so much. Thank you.โ You say through your sobs.
Paige swiftly parks the car, gets out, and opens your door. She cups your face, wiping your tears as you unbuckle your seatbelt. You fall into her arms, and she makes sure you donโt hit your head as she lifts you to stand. โShhh, I love you, too, baby.โ She finally answers as you're both standing.
She holds you as you cry, her arms around your waist, your wrapped around her neck, pulling her face to the crook of your neck. After a couple of minutes, you pull away, and lean in for a short, sweet, kiss.
โAre you done?โ Paige whispered as she pulled away. You giggle as you nod, unwrapping your arms to wipe your face. Paige looks down at her shirt, groaning when she sees the big tear stain youโd left.
โWha- Oh. Sorry, love.โ You smile apologetically, before bending down and grabbing your purse. As your half in the car, you feel Paigeโs hands on your waist, followed by her hips on yours. You turn around quickly, smacking her chest as she bursts out in loud laughter.
โYouโre an idiot.โ You roll your eyes, before grabbing her hand and dragging her to the carnival grounds.
The night was one of the best youโd had in a while. You walked around for a while before deciding to get on a couple roller coasters, and Paige claimed she didnโt scream once (the jury is still out on that one).
After that, Paige insisted on winning you a stuffed toy at one of the carnival games. Of course, she chose basketball and easily won you a giant stuffed teddy bear. Then she paid for ice cream as you guys decided to go on one last hurrah.
The Ferris Wheel.
You were not excited. Heights were not your things, so it took a little convincing on Paigeโs end. But youโve never once been able to say no to this girl, so thatโs why you were now holding onto her bicep for dear life.
Your anxiety peaked as you started moving, and Paige held your thigh to stop you from shaking the passenger cars. โBaby, itโs fine. Look how pretty it is.โ she says.
You shake your head, and bury your face deeper into her arm. โPlease, itโs so pretty.โ You sigh as you reluctantly look around. You feel your stomach drop, but as you take in all the colors, thatโs quickly forgotten.
You canโt believe this is what youโve been missing out on. The view is astonishing, all the colors from the food stands and rides lighting up the night sky. You smile as you see all the people littered around the carnival grounds, minding their business. You detach yourself from Paigeโs arm, as you sit up to get a better look around.
โItโs peaceful, right?โ Paige asks rhetorically. You hum and nod, before turning to her. โIt is.โ
Paige smiles softly, before reaching into her pocket and pulling out a little velvet box. You watch her curiously as she fumbles with the box nervously.
โWhatโs that, P?โ You ask to give her the push she needed. She looked at you before looking back at the box. Youโve never seen her so nervous, but it was kinda cute, that after all this time, you still have that effect on her.
โIโve been meaning to give this to you for a while. I-Iโve never been happier in my entire life. A-and I know weโre far too young to get married, but I never want to live life without you.โ She tears up as she opens the box, shifting her body towards you.
โFuck. Iโm so in love with you, and I never want to know what itโs like to not be. I know weโve been through shit, but I wouldnโt trade it for the world. I promise Iโll do whatever it takes to keep you here. I promise that one day, Iโll be able to do this in front of our friends and family. If you let me, I promise to love you forever.โ Both of you are in tears now, and you can see her hands shake as she awaits your answer.
You wipe her tears and giggle. โI canโt wait to marry you.โ You say through your own tears. Paige lets out a sigh of relief before attaching her lips to yours. You both laugh into the kiss. It looked like a scene out of a movie, as you both reached the peak of the Ferris Wheel, before it stops at the top.
You pull away and giggle as Paigeโs shaky hands put the promise ring on your finger. โFuck, Iโve never been more scared in my entire fucking life.โ she mutters when she finally slides the ring on.
You raise your eyebrows. โNot even when KK put that big, fake spider on your bed?โ
โNo spider should be that fucking big, ever.โ
You laugh as you interlock your hand with hers, squeezing it lovingly. The giggles die down, leaving you both in a comforting silence.
โI love you so much, P.โ
โI love you so much more.โ
Not once in your relationship did you question whether you two were meant to be. And it seems neither did she.
Little did you know that to her, you had always been her end game.
you stand in the gym idle, bouncing the volleyball against the gym floor. your teammates all stand gathered around you, chatting and laughing. you let out a huff, holding the volleyball between your hip and forearm.
โy/n. did you hear anything i just said?โ one of your teammates laughs, shaking your shoulder. โhuh? no.. no sorry.โ you shake your head, looking into the audience for any sight of your girlfriend, paige. she told you sheโd be coming to your game today, where is she? you ponder.
suddenly, you feel a hand on your hip, โwhatcha looking for, ma?โ a voice rasps in your ear. you turn your head around, smiling widely as you see paige. โpaige!โ you squeal, hugging into her. โwaitโwhy are you back here.. you should be sitting downโโ paige cuts you off with a kiss to your lips. โjust wanted to see you, baby.โ she whispers, kissing your temple.
you smile softly, your cheeks flushing a soft, rosy pink. you hear your coach call you and your team out, the crowd roaring. โiโll see you after the game?โ paige smiles, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. you nod, โbye baby,โ you whisper, smiling widely as you run out onto the court.
you and a few other teammates set into your positions. you watch as your teammate serves the ball, a bounce from her hands hitting the ball pings through your ear. the crowd watches as the ball flies over the net, quick to make its way back and fly towards you. you make a quick attack, digging the ball as your teammate spikes it to the other side of the net, the ball hitting the floor.
an applause erupts, along with a few screams and cheers. suddenly, you hear a shout of your name, snapping your head towards the direction of the oh so familiar voice. โyeah y/n!!โ paigeโs voice echos through your ears as you smile widely, quickly being drowned out by your surrounding teammates on the court โahhhhh ace,โ they all grunt in unison, you join in, clapping twice as your teams chant echos throughout the gym.
the halftime buzzer erupts throughout the gym, you glance at the scoreboard 13-10, your team up by 3 points. you slump in your chair, downing half of your water, groaning as you throw your head back. you wipe the sweat off your forehead, not listening to anything your coach is telling you, โy/l/n! are you listening to me?โ your coach shouts, you roll your eyes getting up and making your way back to the court, waiting for the rest of your team.
once youโre all back on the court, the games quick to start up again. the other team serves, youโre quick to jump up, smacking the ball as someone on the other team hits it back.
the crowd falls silent on the last few seconds of the game, everyone pondering who would win. you clench your jaw, spiking the ball to the other side, the crowd erupting in cheers as your teammates all huddle together, congratulating one another. you stand off to the side, grabbing your belongings and quickly making your way through everyone, looking for your girlfriend. โy/n! baby, over here!!โ you hear her voice call out. you turn your head, making your way towards her. you wrap your arms around her middle, hugging her tightly. โyou did so well, baby.โ she whispers to you, kissing your forehead. โuh huh..โ you nod, smiling softly.
โhey y/n! you and paige wanna go grab a bite from Rickyโs?โ one of your teammates calls over to you, you glance at paige, watching as she nods. โyeah weโre coming.โ you smile.
She got that same type of smirk/smile in both pics
All Iโm saying is that I feel like Paigeโs vibe is different now like in a good way. Sheโs got like this unexplainable glow about her ever since after the cruise I donโt wanna assume but I think itโs cuz of Azzi.
All I can explain about Paigeโs vibe is that she is giddy and I think thatโs great! Iโm glad Azzi makes her happy and vice versa
Side note: Sorry for not updating the story in awhile I have writersblock and I also needed to take a mental break from social media
Goodnight women's basketball, wnba, women's college basketball, Paige bueckers, caitlin clark, Kate martin, nika muhl, kk arnold, angel reese, emily englster, uconn wcbb, las vegas aces, basketball in general, nba, Taylor swift.
You work your ass off to make sure the girls have everything they need on game day and every other day
Geno is always helping you plan media events for the team
The girls got you a jersey that says #1 Manger on the back
THE GIRLS ARE SO PROTECTIVE
Most of the girls are sitting in the living room of the dorms watching some basketball game on TV. You walk in pouting and fall onto the couch next to KK. Ice looks over at you and furrows her brows โ Whatโs wrong tiny? โ she asks you. You lift your head โ This stupid boy โ you turn over and groan into KKโs shoulder while she pets your head, running her fingers through your hair massaging your scalp.
Paigeโs head snaps towards you โ What boy? When? What did he do? โ she asks you. Aubrey walks in and sits on the floor between your legs โ That boy from her English class the curly haired one I saw them leave together โ she tells Paige. Lifting your head from KK you kick Aubrey โ Iโm right here dummy โ you roll your eyes getting up and walking away.
Ice grabs your foot pulling you down on to the floor between her and Paige โ What happened? โ she asks you. You groan again and start playing with your hands โ He said I talk to much and Iโm annoying so I left our date โ you admit dropping your head.
Paige nods and gets up her and Aubrey leave the dorm without a word. You sigh and lean into Ice โ Heโs so mean โ you pout. Ice plays with your hair โ Screw him youโre gonna find a better person anyways โ Ice comforts you.
You end up making chocolate chip cookies to try and distract your self from what happened earlier. Around an hour later Paige and Aubrey walk in with smiles on their faces. You turn to them and squint your eyes at them โ What did you both do? โ you ask putting your hands on your hips. Aubrey laughs and pats your head a few times, before grabbing a cookie and going to her dorm. You raise your brows at Paige and she rolls her eyes โ Told that dumb boy how much of great person you are and that if he ever talks to you again we will crush him donโt worry Y/N โ Paige says smiling before hugging you rocking back and forth.
Some of the girls have no sense of style so your always dressing them for events and just normal outings
Your babysitting KK when the team goes out for drinks since sheโs too young
They claim that your a good luck charm and they need you watching all their games
Your always cuddling with the girls and being touchy but they donโt mind they love it
Your always in the background of livestreams trying to help one of the girls with something
Helping Azzi with her knee injury and sitting on the sidelines with her so she didnโt feel alone
Cooking for the girls so they eat healthy instead of fast food all the time
YOUR ALWAYS BEING MADE FUN OF FOR BEING SHORT
itโs not your fault your short itโs just that you work with 6 foot tall woman
Forcing you in their TikToks against your will
Randomly carrying your around and throwing you because they think itโs funny
Sitting in your dorm room scrolling through venues for UConnโs next event. You have been cooped up in your room for the past three hours trying to plan everything out and make sure itโs all perfect. To say you were stressed was an understatement all the work has piled up for school and the team. You groan dropping your head on the table pulling your hair. You take a deep breath and go back on your computer again.
Azzi walks by your room and opens the door looking at you for a moment, she watches you and sighs knowing how stressed you were. You look up and smile at Azzi โ Hey honey whatโs up? โ you ask her. She smiles at you before walking towards you and grabbing you by the waist throwing you over her shoulder. You squeal and grab onto her shirt โ PUT ME DOWN AZZI โ you scream as she runs into the living room before throwing you down onto the couch on top of Ines. You move your hair from your face and slap her leg โ Not funny โ you whisper.
Ines laughs and pushes you down onto the floor, you scoff and look at her shocked putting your hand on your heart โ Wow and here I thought we were friends โ Ines shrugs at you laughing. You roll your eyes and make grabby hands at Azzi so she can help you up. Paige comes over and grabs your hands pulling you up laughing at you โ Look at the video I got of Azzi running around with you on her shoulder โ she says laughing shoving her phone in your face. Grabbing the phone from her, you run away trying to delete the video before Paigeโs comes from behind wrapping her arms around you waist while Azzi grabs the phone.
You struggle and thrash around in her arms before tickling her stomach and she drops you. You flip them both off and go back to your room to finish your work. Azzi follows you and gives you some water โ Can you please pace yourself, you work too hard and I donโt want you to be so stressed โ she asks. You nod smiling at her before kissing her cheek in thank you and turning your focus back on your work.
THEY HAVE SO MANY NICKNAMES FOR YOUR OMG
Caroline and you both have little shopping sprees together where you buy clothes for everyone
The girls use you to prove to Geno how strong they are by doing pushups with you on their back or benching you
Planning little movie nights for the team to help everyone relax
Fans love you so much and are always making cute little edits of you
DOING THE GIRLS HAIR FOR GAMES
You and Nika doing skincare nights
Geno and you having long conversations about life when the girls are working out
Helping everyone decorate their dorms
Laying down with your head inside there hoodie when your tired and donโt want people bothering you
Going to Azzi when you need help with school work
Getting protective of them durning games and arguing with refs
Warnings: Angst, Friends to enemies to lovers (but the reader doesnโt know why theyโre enemies), reader is actually so incredibly in the wrong, slow burn
A/N: One step forward, ten steps back! :)
Even though youโd been stuck in a shoot today you had heard that it had been a beautiful day for February in Connecticut, a time when the skies are usually grey, and the streets are usually blanketed in a heavy layer of snow. The unexpected warmth, you decide, likely explained why the local ice cream parlor was bustling with people, their laughter and chatter spilling out onto the streets.
People were out in droves, couples, families, and groups of friends taking advantage of the unseasonable warmth.ย You sit in the car next to Paige, the both of you watching the scene unfold with matching expressions of confusion.ย
โNow probably isnโt the best time for Paige Bueckers to show up, huh?โ
Paige shrugs, a small smile playing at her lips. "I mean, itโll probably be fine. Itโs not like Iโm with the whole team or anything. I might get stopped once, but I doubt it." She sounds confident, but you notice the slight tension in her shoulders, the way her fingers tap restlessly on the steering wheel.
You glance nervously forward, watching as a group of girls enter the store, shedding off their coats to reveal that at least 3 of them had t-shirts emblazoned with the 'UConn WBB' logo just as Paige finished speaking. Almost as if theyโd been summoned by the sound of her voice, and you let out a dry chuckle and tried to suppress immediate feelings of dรฉjร vu from the conversation you had at the cafรฉ a few months ago. When everything hadย trulyย fallen apart.
"Well, there goes that plan," your eyes flicking between the group and Paige. You silently prayed that none of them would glance over and discover the star player sitting right outside.
With a resigned sigh, the blonde leans back against the driver's seat. Her shoulder brushing against yours in the cramped space, she reaches into the pocket of her jeans and pulls out her wallet, fishing out her credit card and handing it to you, disappointment written all over her face. โWe can still get ice cream if you want to run in for us. We might just be stuck eating it in the car.โย
You accepted the card (despite having no intention of using it), taking it from Paige's extended hand with a small nod. "The usual for you?" Paige rolls her eyes in response, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Duh.โ
The moment you return to the car, clutching two plastic cups filled with two generous scoops of ice cream, Paige quickly springs out to open the passenger door for you. Taking her order and the unused credit card from your outstretched hand, settling back into the car with a smile.
Without even thinking about it, she automatically digs her spoon into your cup before taking a bite of her own. As the spoon left her mouth, her brow furrows in confusion.ย
"Wait, I think they gave you two strawberryโs by mistake," she said, reaching for your cup. "It's okay, though. I can go back in and ask them to fix it."
Your hand gently grabbed at hers to stop it, taking the ice-cream bowl back. "No, it's fine. I requested that they put a scoop of cherry and a scoop of strawberry in each cup," you explain, starting to mix the two flavors together and taking a mouthful.ย
"Oh. Why did you do that?" Paige asked with a slight strain to her voice, brow furrowing further as she fixated on the spoon stuck between your lips.ย
Noticing her sudden change in behavior you tried to explain what you thought had been remarkably clever, panicking slightly as you spoke. "I thought it was a good idea," you began, your voice filled with slight confusion. "You know, this way we each have our own, and we donโt have to keep reaching for each other's ice cream all the time and we wonโt make a mess of your car. And donโt worry, you can still have my extra if thatโs what youโre worried about. Plus," you forced out a nervous chuckle, "there will be even more now since we each have a full-sized scoop."
Her expression dropped suddenly, and she quickly abandoned her barely touched ice cream on the center console.ย
You called out her name, your voice laced with concern, and carefully placed your ice cream next to hers before placing a tentative hand on her shoulder. "Paige, what's wrong? Did I do something?โย
Paige shook her head, hands going to briefly cover her face. "It's okay, you didn't do anything," she muttered, her voice muffled, "I just... fuck, I'm sorry, itโs nothing Iโm just being stupid." She dropped her hands from her face as she turned to look at you, her expression briefly meeting yours before turning away to focus on the console. "Which one's mine, again?" she asked, her tone still tense.ย
You withdrew the hand that had been resting on her shoulder as you leaned down to examine the two cups on the center console. "Uh, this one I think," you nodded, pushing one of them to towards her. The temperature of the ice cream sent a chill through you, its coolness in sharp contrast to the warmth that had coursed through you when you touched her.
She reaches for it wordlessly, hastily grabbing another bite, refusing to meet your gaze.
Youโve never seen someone eat ice cream angrily you think.ย
"Paige?" you asked again, softer this time, your concern growing as you watched her ignore you. "Hey, talk to me. What's going on?"
She let out a shaky breath, her spoon stilling in the cup of ice cream. "It's just... it's been a lot, you know?" she said, finally looking up at you, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.ย
"I mean โ I thought I'd lost you for good. And I know now we're trying to fix things, but every little thing makes me worry that it's all going to fall apart again. Like, every time weโve been near each other Iโm so afraid of messing it up and then whenever weโre apart I feel like thatโs part of the problem too, but I scare myself to bad and I never reach out or anything and itโs all just so stupid." her voice strained. "It's just... I donโt know. This was supposed to be simple. "
Feeling like your heart is going to give out on you every time you hear her speak is beginning to become all too familiar.ย
โHey, weโre gonna be okay. Itโs just gonna take some time clearly,โ you say, your attempts to be reassuring as much for you as they are for her.ย
She bit her lip, trying to hold back tears. "I just... I wanted today to be good. And when you changed the order, it felt like maybe things werenโt okay between us after all.โ She takes a deep breath, turning to you. โI know itโs so stupid, but I feel like I have to constantly over analyze everything between us now."
โOh P, no, thatโs not what I meant to do at all.โ You murmur, your eyes filing up with tears of your own. Reaching over to grab her bowl from her now shaking hands, you place it on the dashboard, grabbing yours next so you can reach over to her without the obstruction.ย
Her hands grip your forearm as you wrap yourself around her shoulders, leaning your head back to kiss the side of her head. โThis has been hard, and Iโve been so scared to mess up too and Iโm sorry that I just did.โ you choke out.ย
โYou didnโt mess up Iโm just being dramatic, itโs just I feel like it isnโt supposed to be this hard thoughโ Paige letโs out a sob, โI donโt know why I thought that, but I really thought everything would be back to normal, I just, I donโt get whatโs happening with us at all and I donโt get why I donโt get it.โย
The tears that had flooded your eyes are now making their way down your cheeks. โI hurt you, I hurt you in ways that arenโt forgivable, and I wonโt be mad at you if it takes you a while to get there, or if you never do.โย
This was supposed to be light, this was supposed to be easy, a step in the right direction, but all you can feel is yourself being dragged down, deeper and deeper when you thought you were already on the ground.
She vehemently shakes her head, โno, no, just stop. Stop being so shitty to yourself, Iโve already forgiven you.โ Her fingers tighten around your arms to the point that itโs painful but you stay still, โI'm the one who's been awful. Iโve been avoiding you like the damn plague, youโve been trying so hard and I didnโt mean to.ย ย Iโve been making your life so much harder for so long and I didnโt realize until I kicked you out of my room that night, I still donโt know why I did that but Iโm so sorry. Iโm so sorry. Iโm so sorry.โ She repeats the apology, praying you understand it as she becomes almost completely incoherent, the words and sobs falling out of her mouth simultaneously.ย
You pull her closer, holding her as tightly as you can, sitting awkwardly on your side in the passenger seat. โWeโre gonna figure this out,โ you whisper, your voice thick with emotion. โThis is on both of us, and we are both going to fix it, alright love?โ
Paige nodded against your shoulder, her sobs slowly subsiding. โI want that,โ she whispered back. โI really want that.โย
The two of you stay intertwined, listening to the quiet hum of the radio, both too afraid to speak up and say something else potentially ruinous when youโve just started making progress again. Eventually, however, you have to move. The ice cream has melted, leaving a sticky mess all over Paigeโs dashboard and the lights shut off in the ice cream parlor, the employee giving the two of you a strange glance as she locks up.ย
You must be feeling unusually brave, or maybe just desperate to keep her near you, probably the latter you decide as the words seem to tumble out of your mouth before you can think twice. โDo you want to come back to mine?โย You can't help but thank god when she nods. ย
The silence continues as you drive back to your place. The streetlights flash by, casting fleeting shadows inside the car, the light occasionally falling on your hand, intertwined tightly with Paigeโs. You both let yourself cling to the other until she has to park the car, reluctantly letting you go.
"Wanna head in?" you say, breaking the silence once the cars settled to a stop. She nods, reaching for the handle the second you say it, like sheโd been waiting for your permission.
The two of you step out of the car, and the crisp night air hits your skin. You walk side by side to the front door, and for a moment, everything feels like it used toโeasy, natural. Once inside, you flick on the lights, casting a warm glow over the familiar surroundings. "Make yourself at home," you say, gesturing towards the living room.
She sits, looking around your place as if seeing it for the first time. "It's been a while since I've been here," she says softly. "Yeah," you agree, the words are left hanging in the air as she fails to come up with a response that wouldnโt bring up any of the laundry list of things youโre both still avoiding. Paige's fingers fidget with the pillow she had moved to rest on her lap, her eyes focused on the floor.
"How about we watch a movie?" you suggest, unsure what to do in this uncharted territory.
She gives you a slight nod, reaching for the remote, opening Netflix and pressing play on some action movie that could not interest you less but for her, youโll tolerate it.ย
The movie flickers on the screen, but your attention is fixed on Paige. Her head rests gently on your shoulder, her breathing slow and steady as she drifts into sleep. The soft glow from the TV casts a gentle light across her face, highlighting her delicate features. You marvel at the way her eyelashes create shadows on her cheeks, the slight part of her lips as she breathes. She looks so peaceful, and youโre absolutely positive that no one could ever be more beautiful than she is in this moment, the thought both captivates and torments you.
You swallow hard, feeling a lump forming in your throat. โWhy does she think I deserve her?โย The question echoes in your mind, each repetition tightening the knot in your stomach. Sheโs perfect, and here she is, trusting you enough to fall asleep in your arms. But the gentle sound of her breathing is drowned out by the echos of your cameras shutter and her cries pounding in your ears, each one a piercing through you, a guilt filled arrow. You shift slightly, trying to ease the discomfort, but it only intensifies.
You glance at the TV, trying to distract yourself, but the images blur together, meaningless against the backdrop of your spiraling thoughts. Your hand moves to stroke her hair, a gentle, almost involuntary motion. Her hair is soft, slipping through your fingers like silk. You want to focus on that sensation, to ground yourself, but the flood of insecurities keeps rising. โWhat if I hurt her again? What if I canโt be the person she needs?โ Each question is a weight pressing down on your chest, making it hard to breathe.
When the credits finally roll, Paige stirs slightly, her eyes fluttering open. She looks up at you with a sleepy, tender smile. "I'm too tired to drive home. Can I stay here tonight?" Her voice is a soft whisper.
"Of course," you say, but the words feel thick, stuck in your throat. A part of you longs to hold her close, to find comfort in her presence. But another part of you recoils, terrified of the thoughts that come with her nearness.ย
โI canโt do this.โ
She shifts again, laying her head on your chest and curling up against you. Her warmth practically seeps into you, a soothing balm against the cold dread that has filled you to the brim. "I love you," she mutters, half-asleep, and her words are like a knife twisting in your heart.ย
โShe shouldn't love me.'
You lie there, your heart pounding in your chest. The panic is a living thing, clawing at your insides, making it impossible to relax. You replay every mistake, every hurtful word, each one a confirmation of your unworthiness. Sheโs so peaceful, so trusting, and it only heightens your anxiety.ย
Youโve changed a lot over the course of the past year, hell, the past months. Maybe, just maybe, the reason itโs been so hard to go back to how you were is because now youโre too different, youโre not the same as you were, itโs not the same as it was.ย
โMaybe sheโs in love with a version of you that doesnโt exist anymore.โ
Oh boy oh boy where do I even begin?!!? My dearest Paige, with every dribble, you enchant the court, weaving tales of glory and triumph, your prowess on the hardwood resonates with the beating of my heart!!!๐ค๐ค๐ค