kill your darling, it's just that easy!

uuuugh i keep procrastinating cuz i wanna make new refs n' arts n' all for us all but art slow so fuggit placeholder pinned abt the system better pinned with comm details, other accs, etc later :3 will reopen for commissions once arty verifies me! as a whole we're legally deaf and disabled! we can all draw but have diff styles/preferences :3 body is 30 (eugh i don't like admitting that) so am adult BUT we don't wanna be involved in nsfw art so pls respect that⭐ We can't get a formal diagnosis due to various real life issues, so we're not going to claim any particular diagnosis, but we can't exactly ignore the symptoms and stay masked forever. We're going to stay out of syscourse as much as possible, of course. 🌙 each alter has an assigned emoji so ppl can tell us apart easier if needed, use em as our tags too (when we remember) note- using they/them for any of us fine too!⭐

(doesn't include alters that rarely or never front) ⭐star emoji = Blue! she/her pls~ guess i'm the honorary host cuz i front most. uhhh... nothing rly too fancy i can say abt myself, i'm p affectionate and love y2k art and hanging out, i try to be as nice as i can >w< my art's usually sketchbooky, with thin lines and soft colors/shading!

💠this blue gem/flower emoji is Azure! she/her, she's kinda new to the system. looks n' acts a lot like me but uh... more childish i guess? very silly, very 'cringe culture is dead'. loves to rp, say silly things, n' cling to people. hyperfixates on Dot Hack (RIP) her art looks like mspaint x3 🌙 (Writing for myself since I'm available.) The name's Lune, hence moon emoji, and I use she/her pronouns as well. Formerly "Starry" but people kept confusing me with Blue due to her star symbolism. Used to be the designated mask, I'm glad I don't have to do that anymore... Sometimes I re-mask out of habit so if something sounds like me but wasn't marked as an alter, it probably is me. I have a flat tone and chronic paranoid anxiety so uh... Let me know if I come across as rude, I usually don't mean to. I enjoy doing research and organizing information, so I'm often the one to fact-check things or find guides and how-to's for the system. My art's very bold and colorful, and friends describe it as 'angular'. Clashes with my personality, huh? 🗝️key emoji = Sylverwynd! he uses he/him! he's super laid back and chill, i've never seen him upset or anything, but he's rly long-winded talks... kinda poet-y? he loves reading and talking abt lore and myths so he'll pop in if ur talking abt something he likes or if he has trivia 2 share! fave genres r horror n' fantasy he's still experimenting w/ style but likes drawing rly soft

❌cross emoji= Laceburner! it/its or they/them pronouns! tbh i'm not used to it/its pronouns but Lace wanted em; it's very uh... emotionally empty i guess? aroace, agender, can't socialize or empathize v well. it usually fronts when the rest of us are tired or in pain cuz it just ignores all that. likes 2000's scenemo aesthetics though which is surprising but ye idk how to describe its style, but it's trying to mimic emo art n' likes bright colored lines with dark bg/colors 🗡️the dagger is Kal! he/him pronouns, he gets angry and stressed abt things really easy but he gets too hostile abt it so he tries to not front too much; need to find him a way to de-stress n' chill out... when he's not mad at smth he's a good sympathetic listener imo, still swears and talks all rough tho hasn't drawn much yet but does rly harsh lines and fast/messy sketches when he does (and gets riled up by mistakes =w=;)

❤️heart is Weiss! genderfluid, goes by any pronouns, usually uses whatever they like at the time x3 has a hard time fronting but tries to. flirty, loves dumb jokes, overly confident... (we worry they'd get us in trouble sometimes cuz the shit they want to say) loves demon and monster-related stuff! still experimental style but uses bold colors and thick rough lines a lot, may get suggestive (forbidden from outright nsfw, don't ask >:c) btw ur always welcome to direct asks @ someone specific >w< we just might take a while to respond

Survey #385

“I am a human being, capable of doing terrible things”

Who in your family has been married the longest? (and how long?) Uhhhh. I don't know. Do you take your shoes off when you come inside? Yes. What’s your favorite movie series? I think Shrek when you consider all the movies' (well, I haven't seen the last one, but...) quality. No memeage here, I just genuinely love Shrek, haha. I would say The Lion King, but miraculously when you consider the focus on meerkats, I actually don't like 1 1/2 much. What was the first color you ever dyed your hair? Hm... I think I got purple highlights? Do you want to move anytime soon? Even though we haven't even lived here a year, yes. I don't like living in an urban area, and I also reeeeaaaally don't like our family friend being our landlord. I know that sounds very weird, but she's just a very controlling person who forcefully inserts herself into my family's lives now more than ever, and I have a pretty deep fear that a potential argument finally erupting will lead to us being kicked out. I genuinely don't think Tobey would ever do that, but the fear is still there. How good/bad was the quality of education you received in high school? Average, I guess? What was the most interesting year of your life, and why? "Interesting," maybe... 2017 or 2018? I learned a lot about myself in that time range. But at the same time, my life was (and still is) VERY uneventful. Just a lot of mental stuff went on. What was the first social media site you ever used? Myspace. Do you have any exes you really regret dating? REALLY regret? No. I wish I'd never dated Tyler, but it's not a massive regret or anything. He was still a cool guy that I have a few nice memories with. Have you ever lied on a resume? Or even in a job interview? Ha, I'd definitely stretch the truth about being more of a people-person than I am. I couldn't go too far with lying, though; I'm just not comfortable doing that, 'cuz like, they're gonna find out eventually that it's not true. Of all your friends & family, who has the most nicely-decorated home? Maybe my friend Summer. Her room has always been super cool. What brought about the end of the worst relationship you’ve been in? Apparently, not talking to him every second of every day two weeks into a relationship was a no-no. Where was the last place you spent the night other than your own home? The sleep study building or whatever it's considered in the medical plaza. Do you have any step- or half-siblings? I have both. What do people always seem to think is weird about you? The fact I don't watch TV. Do you ever braid your hair? It's way too short for that. Even when it was long, I didn't do it frequently at all. Is there any certain style of architecture you really enjoy? Roman, in particular. What was the last thing you gave up on? uhhhhhhhhhhh If you watch Parks and Recreation, who is your favorite character? I don't. What’s the last DIY project you did, if any? If you can’t remember, what’s something you’d be interested in doing? I'm not really into DIY stuff, honestly. I'd rather just buy products that were made better than I could, or commission someone who can. What's a song that makes you feel happy? I dunno. It's rare a song alone makes me happy. What is your favorite clothing store? Rebel's Market. How did you meet your best friend? YouTube, back when it was a more social platform. What is something you do well? Catastrophize any situation. Assume the worst of everything. What's a good idea you've had recently? Probably to re-engage with a calorie-counting app I used to use. I'm back to trying to use it consistently. Do you like to wear high heels? Does ANY person LIKE to? How many slices of pizza do you usually eat? Two or three depending on my appetite and the size of the pizza. Do you play any instruments? Not anymore. Do you always smile for pictures? Not always. What are you most excited about right now? To see the results of my TMS therapy. What's the last song you listened to? "Ex’s and Oh’s” by Elle King. What's the last YouTube video you watched? I'm watching an Erosium livestream rn. Newest channel binge, haha. Do you know anyone who's died in childbirth? No. Would you ever consider moving to another country for your career? No. I don't want to leave my family. Do you wear foundation? No, I hate the feeling of that crap. Do you know anyone who has run for public office? No. Do you have a cartilage piercing? I used to, but the hole closed when I had to take it out for the hospital. :/ I plan on getting it repierced. Have you ever been taken to the emergency room or urgent care? If so, why? Yes; for being suicidal, a suicide attempt, and when I had a horribly infected cyst and just existing made me want to sob with pain. Have you ever had to visit anyone in the hospital? Yeah, a few times. What is the most pain (physical, mental, emotional) you've ever felt? Physical: having the aforementioned cyst drained when I was not nearly numbed enough. Mental and emotional (what's really the difference?): my breakup with my first real boyfriend. What is the longest time you've spent crying? Oh, hours on end, fluctuating with intensity. Have you ever been stolen from? Yes. Have you ever been to a ghost town? No, but I would FUCKING LOVE to. Let me bring my camera and it's a field day. Has anything in your house ever caught on fire? Not in this current house. Have you ever been inside of a vacant house? No. Have you ever been attacked by a dog? No. What is the most disgusting thing you've ever seen? The massive cyst my late dog Teddy developed on his lower belly. That fucking thing hung on by a THREAD and was absolutely nauseating to look at. How old were you when you learned how to read? I don't recall, I just know it was earlier than most children. Do you prefer cats or dogs? Cats. Which book series was the first you read? I want to say Hank the Cowdog. I was hooked on it. Would you rather write a book or direct a movie? Haha, what a question, as I've considered both of these as potential careers. I think write a book. What dream that you’ve had has stuck in your head the most? Describe: A nightmare about my dad that I'm not going into. What emotion do you find yourself trying to hide from others? I'm very uncomfortable revealing jealousy or envy. How emotional/sentimental would you say you are? Extremely. What is the most fun game to play? Shadow of the Colossus, probably. What is your sense of humor like (dry, dark, sarcastic, etc.)? I don't know, maybe dry. How many languages can you say "hello my name is…" in? Two. What language do you think sounds the nicest? I don't know, it's not like I've heard every language be spoken. What language do you want to learn more of? German. Do you have any form of OCD? I'm diagnosed with OCD. Do you make promises often? No. I take promises VERY seriously and am not about to make one unless I'm certain I can keep it. What is it that you are responsible for? My pets, keeping my room clean, stuff like that. Do you have a lot of secrets? Not "a lot," no. Are you more likely to be verbally aggressive or physically? Verbally. I'm only physically aggressive in my nightmares. What warning has someone given you that you wish you’d have listened to? Hm. What warning has someone given you you are glad you didn’t take? I also don't know. What is your favourite video of on YouTube? I can't pick just one. Name one creature that freaks you out/scares you? Maggots. Just the word makes me squirm. What was the last thing you wrote down on paper? My signature. Have you ever watched Breaking Bad? No. Are your fingernails always painted? They never are. What color is your bed frame? A rich brown. Did any of your neighbors come over to welcome you when you moved into your current house? No. What's something you didn't realize how bad it was until it happened to you? Heartbreak. Do you like Taylor Swift's singing voice? No. It's squeaky and annoying to me. Does it bother you when people get super emotional? Why the fuck would it bother me? Let people be in touch with their emotions. Have you ever worked in a restaurant? No. What was the last drive-thru you went through? Ummm I want to say Starbuck's w/ Mom after my TMS appointment. Do you know anyone who claims they can see/feel spirits or other supernatural "things?" No. Does your house have any unoccupied bedrooms? Yes. Do either of your parents have a mental illness? My mom has depression, and she personally suspects something's up with Dad, but idk. He's never seen a doctor about that kinda stuff. What fun things are there to do where you live? Ha! Do you know anyone with a really poorly-trained dog? I know many like that. When you were growing up, did your family rent or own your home? My parents owned it. Can you see the stars at night where you live? I actually haven't paid attention at this house. I'm certain it'd be harder now living in an urban area, though. What job do you know you'd be terrible at? Like, everything? I'd probably be worst at promoting stuff to people and trying to push them into buying something. No being a salesperson for me. Do you do meal-prepping? No. Do you know anyone who got preggo less than a year into their relationship? Who doesn't? And now, for the greatest question of all time! Toilet paper- should it go over or under? I literally couldn't care less about this. Fun fact though to "end" the argument, the original concept art of the idea (the word for that is evading me...) has it designed to go over. Are you afraid of mice? Not at all, they're adorable. What type of souvenir do you usually purchase when on vacation? I don't have a specific "type" of thing I get, really. It depends. Do you vacation often? Not at all. Are you comfortable wearing your pajamas in public places? It depends on the place, really. Generally, I really don't care, so long as I put a bra on. What’s your favorite candy bar? That one that's a bunch of Reese's squares composed into a rectangle. It. Is so. Fucking. Good. Do you own more than one copy or edition of a book? No. If you could see any musical on Broadway right now, what would it be? I don't like musicals. Do you own a helmet of any sorts? No. Does your family generally decorate for most holidays? Just for Christmas, really. Do you eat soup when you’re sick? I'm not a soup person. Have you ever watched Doctor Who? I saw one or two episodes with Sara. If so, what do you think is the scariest creature yet? N/A Do you read tour guide type books before you visit places? No.

Mike Fortune /m ./

Hops on ft n instantly starts bouncing ideas about new clothing wit me

Talking about the technical aspects of waistbands 

(10 mins in no questions asked)

Best year on earth: 2011. 11 is my number. Crazy year. First year off probation. Could actually party. Gramps died. Lived life to fullest. Met first gf. Life changed this year. It’s 11 years later. 

I live off 11’s. mike fortune is 11 letters. born at 11:11. year I graduated.

Year I told myself ima b artist if people like it or not.

Dream planet 2 live on: earth. I’m already here but I’m not living yet. I’m tryin to concur this planet b4 the next.

How many chains: depending on how u style it at least 2. Choker necklace wit a chain, layers r the key. Simple is clean but I'm all bout being extra.

if in the case of fire: grab family first or anyone that is in need of being rescued cause fuck that ppl need saving

proceeds to tell me about this time he helped a lady out of a freeway accident. his take away is to act on instincts. 

don’t hesitate.

Most interesting color: green. resembles everything I want money, life, trees, land, wealth, good vibes everything good in life g

New motto: everything’s green

(Leveling up this year)

Very GQ of you. Suave.

1st Genre of music that comes 2 head: rap

Most influential genre: Pink Floyd (y) v inspired wanna play guitar like David Gilmore don’t care bout no1 else. his guitar hits the soul.

/Emotional factor of life

//Goes back 2 hippy vibe n reminds him of freedom and expression

Calls his dog, Baby, a little yorkie. nickname dababy

(5 min discussion on darting vs pleating)

R wings efficient? for the most part, life isn’t always fair shit happens

Splatt: its da spallllllttt (tiktok) dont worry it sweetheart 

Ur credit card #: splatt!

Oldest pair of shoes (that u still own): hi top canvas doc Martens. don’t ever wear em still brand new all blacked out everything black wanna paint the sole n put another type of laces. 6 years old.

what inanimate object is your muse? Guitar or industrial sewing machine or my chick. I cant pin it down to one oh wait or my 1969 VW bug 

Geopolitical: geometric symbols wait geometric patterns wait yeah no no no sacred geometry 

Most interesting word: flabbergasted (y) ion kno it’s English but it’s just funky but it makes sense. U kno what it means w/o knowing the definition. just sounds like something. 

Thoughts People eating pancakes: I love pancakes. I condone. Extra butter I want it sweet. I like French toast 2 but I like pancakes more

Do u sleep? Yea but I have a hard time sleeping by myself. My mind wanders. I stay up late researching and thinking of my next move. I look for inspo all night. 

Creative juices get flowing at night. Every1 minding own biz with no distractions. 

Damn it kinda late I gotta go 2 sleep

I shoulda done this during the day but here we are

How did u get the steeze: inspired by my uncle. Skating, tattoos and overall lifestyle. He was very punk and into raw edgy shit. Wore all black / punk patchwork grungy shit. Silver chains. Learned 2 sew from his mom. Dad is an airbrusher. His family taught him his way.  

Last meal on earth wut is it: I want 5 lobsters or so. Never ending lobster 

1 project at a time or all over? scatterbrained. I’m always juggling. I should b in a circus man. I stop sewing midway and start painting. I would b a fool to stop whatever I’m doing. 2 creative 2 stop.

Gonna b in this industry regardless. Or art. Something. 

Some1 u look up 2: Basquiat

You can define crazy in 2 diff ways how messy it is or how perfect it is.

Never liked 2 take order and direction 

Candy from ur childhood u miss: Twix. not a sweet tooth anymore. I like sour candy now. I miss loving chocolate.

When is it time 2 stop: when its becoming a problem

Achievement ur most proud of: having a sense of what he wanna do with his life. Regardless if it works out or not

Big project rt now: myself

Happy 16th birthday: 2 time felon on probation. halfway through my probation. nothing special spent it at home. Felonies at 15 getting outta sophomore year. Spent 2 1/2 yrs on probation.

Biggest impacts on his life.

Would rather risk chasing dreams than be on probation.

Rlly affected his time in high school 

I couldn't go 2 parties had 2 be home. Missed out on a lot.

Everything he missed out on was made up for after that next summer

Patience is a virtue but karma is a bitch

I don’t regret any of it. Learned a lot. Made me who I am.

Promo: this is the Truman show

I wake up with that lets get it attitude

or I needa brush my teeth

or like ugghhhhh

or Where’s my vape

Ima b here doing my thing

Real g’s move in silence like lasagna 

Marc Appreciation Week 2019| Day 1: Writing| “The First Session”

So this is literally the first fanfiction I’ve ever published, done for @wearemiraculous / @seasonofthegeek ‘s Miraculous Ladybug event, celebrating everyone’s adopted son, Marc Anciel.  I planned this overarching story back when it was first announced, so before the actual prompts were given, so I don’t know if the days will actually match up very well.  Disclaimers (PLEASE READ) and chapter are under the cut.

(~c. 1500 words, for those of you who care about that kind of thing.)

Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Disclaimers before the actual content: I am not affiliated with anyone involved with creating Miraculous Ladybug.  I’m just a fan, this is just fanfiction.  This is a seven-part fic, one chapter for each day (if I can finish them on time), and it features heavy LGBTQ+ themes and mentions gender dysphoria (Not in this chapter but in later chapters).  I am not dysphoric, nor have I ever been, and I identify as a straight male.  As such, I may get something wrong.  Please, tell me if I do get something wrong so I can fix it.  The last thing I want is to hurt anyone with this.

Also, mild language warning.

Okay, I think that’s everything.

Sunday… by the blue, purple, yellow, red water… on the green, purple, yellow, red grass…

           Well, no, actually.  He was in a public library, not a park, and the closest thing to a river was a drinking fountain a few shelves to his left.  Still, it was Sunday, and this was the song that was piping in through Nathaniel’s earbuds.

           ‘You’ll love it,’ Rose had said.  ‘It’s inspired by that painting, the famous one with all the dots.’

           ‘Un dimanche après-midi à l’Île de la Grande Jatte,’ he had guessed.  ‘By Georges Seurat?’

           ‘Yeah, that one.  It’s about all the people in the painting, and all their troubles getting masked by the artist creating one fictional, perfect afternoon.  And then Act II is his grandson having to deal with creating the same things over and over.  And it’s just…’  There, Rose wiped a few tears from her still-red eyes.  ‘It’s some of the most beautiful music I’ve ever heard.  The same composer wrote Into the Woods.’

           ‘And Sweeney Todd,’ Juleka had mumbled from close by.

           Well, he couldn’t argue with Rose.  There were some incredible melodies, and watching the filmed version (at Rose’s insistence) had brought some tears to his eyes.

           It was about art.

           It was about himself, too, in a way.

           In the play, Georges invests himself so far into the fictional world in his painting that he neglects his lover, his family, and even his own life in the end.

           In real life, Nathaniel had gotten so wrapped up in his art that he had started to see everyone else as an obstacle to the creative spirit.

           “Hey,” a voice mumbled.  “Sorry I’m late.”

           Which is how he found himself here, in this mess.

           “It’s no problem.”  Nathaniel glanced at his phone.  “You’re actually early.”

           “I know,” Marc said tensely, quietly slipping into a chair across from him.  “But I still got here after you, so…”

           “Like I said, no problem.  I wasn’t bored.”

           “Oh?”  Marc looked at Nathan’s sketchbook, which was open on the table.  “What are you drawing?”

           Nathaniel regarded his creation.  It wasn’t anything too special: a tree, a river, a bench, all in a park scene done in swooping, curved lines.  The shading was done with a bunch of little tick marks instead of the smooth gradient style he sometimes did.

           “Just a scene,” he answered.  “From this musical I’ve been listening to.”

           “Sunday in the Park with George?”

           Nathaniel nodded.  “Yeah, how’d you know?”

           “Uh, Rose – that’s her name, right? – she told me about it.  She said her friend and her dad were in it together.”

           “Yeah, Mylène?”

           “That was it.”

           “Yeah.  She’s been forcing everyone in the art club to listen to the soundtrack for weeks.”  Nath flipped to a different page in the sketchbook.  “You’re the newest member, so naturally you’re her latest victim.”

           Marc gave a weak laugh, but his expression stayed sober.  “So how is it?”

           “Hm?”

           “The play.  Is it any good?”

           “Oh.”  He mulled over this.  “I like it,” he decided, even if he felt that didn’t answer the question.  “It’s a… perspective on the art piece.  Definitely unconventional.”

           “Yeah.”  Marc fingered the hem of his hoodie and bit his lip.  “It is a bit weird, isn’t it?  Writing something that big inspired by one piece of visual art.”

           “Yep.  And I’m now drawing something inspired by that.  Comes back around, doesn’t it?”  Nathaniel cringed, like he always did when he tried to be profound.  Profundity didn’t suit his verbal abilities.

           To his surprise, Marc nodded in agreement. “The cyclical, cannibalistic nature of art.”

           “Cannibalistic,” Nathan repeated, amused.  “That’s good. I like that word.  It’s very… blunt.”

           “It’s a strong choice,” Marc agreed. “Connoting something brutish or barbaric.”

           “Works perfectly for art, then.”

           Marc smiled this time.  “Guess it does,” he said.  His voice, to Nathaniel’s perception, seemed to take on some quality, giving it a lighter… texture?

            ‘No that isn’t right.  What’s that called?’ he pondered.  Whatever it was, it was a welcome change from Marc’s usual moody demeanor.  The small smile on his face was uniquely refreshing, emotionally speaking.

           “Kinda like this, huh?” he noted.  “I mean, I was doodling, you wrote stuff for it, and now I’m drawing based off what you wrote.  I’m cannibalizing myself via you.”

           Marc lost his smile.  Nathan suddenly felt bad, like all the weight in the air had fallen in around him.

           “Sorry,” he apologized.  “Forget I… I was trying to be clever, never mind.”

           The heaviness in the room was making it difficult for him to breathe.

           “So…” Marc tried to break the silence.  Nathan winced inwardly at the shift in social dynamic. Apparently, he also winced outwardly, because Marc suddenly started to backtrack.  “I mean, you, um…”  His voice dropped to a timid whisper.  “Oh, shit.”

           Marc made to get up, grabbing the bag that was hung on his chair.  “Wait, no, I’m sorry,” Nath pleaded.

           “This isn’t going to work.”  The writer shook his head.  “I’m sorry for taking up your time.”

           “Look, it’s my fault.”  Marc stopped moving.  “I’m sorry, I’m just not used to… working with people.”  At the deflated look this received, Nath amended himself.  “I want to, though.  Let’s just give this a chance, okay?”

           “Oh.”  Marc set down his bag and withdrew his journal.  “Uh… okay.”

           “Yeah.  I don’t exactly know how to… do…”  He stopped talking, not knowing what word he could finish with.

           “Collaborations?”

           “Yeah.  I’m not sure… What’s the, um, protocol here?”

           Marc shifted in his seat, playing with the cover of his book.  “I don’t really think there is a set protocol.”

           “Oh.  Sorry, my bad, I just—”

           “No, you’re fine, I’m the one who should—”

           They both stopped talking over each other. Once again, they merely looked down at their own papers in silence.

           After a minute of this, Nathaniel decided, against his better judgement, to address the elephant at the table.

           “So… Yesterday, huh?”

           Marc continued to hunch over.

           “You got akumatized.”  Not like the superfan was going to judge.  “You really wanted in on this project, huh?”

           Marc shut his eyes tight.   He whispered, “It wasn’t that.”

           Nath was surprised.  “Oh?  Then…”

           “I just wanted to…”  For the first time in the meeting, Marc momentarily lost his tongue. “I don’t know how it got to that. I just wanted to say that you were… and then Marinette just made it about us working together…”  He shrugged, defeated.  “It just sort of escalated.”

           “Oh,” Nathaniel nodded.  “Then we agree.”

           “Huh?”

           “Marinette is terrible at mediating people.”

           “Oh.”  Another smile, much smaller than the first, graced his lips, which his collaborator was grateful for.  “Heh. She really is, huh?”

           ‘Levity,’ Nathan realized, looking at Marc’s smile.  ‘That’s the word I was looking for earlier.’

            He wanted to keep the conversation going.  “So… what were going to say about me?  So you can get that out of the way.”

           It took a while for him to answer.  “It’s just… I really like… your art.  There’s just something in it.”  He looked away, blushing with what Nathaniel assumed was embarrassment.  “You seem to really care about it.  Not really in any way I’ve ever seen before.  I-It’s so well-constructed, too, plot-wise.”

           “You think so?”

           “Yeah.”  The scriptwriter rubbed his arm.  “I mean… I’m not an expert, but I like stories that… you know.”

           The cartoonist didn’t know, but he kept that to himself.

           “Why do you, um…”  Marc gulped.  “What led you to… drawing?  And doing stories like this?”        

           “Why do I do this?”  Nath thought about this for a moment.  “I can’t really say.”

           “Okay.”  Marc didn’t push further.

           They continued to sit silently, until Nath once again spoke up.

           “Do you ever feel like there’s something that’s just…”

           His accomplice tried guessing.  “Wrong?”

           “Exactly.”  Nathaniel crossed his arms.  “Something that’s just wrong with you.”

           “Yeah,” Marc nodded.  “I think that’s normal.”

           “It really isn’t.  Or it shouldn’t be.”

           “I’ll agree on that.”

           “It’s part of why I do this.”  Nath shrugged pensively.  “It just feels right.”

           Marc smiled.  “That’s how I feel about writing.”  He tried to clarify.  “You know, like, constructing words, into sentences and paragraphs and stories. And then you come up with that great sentence, that play on ideas, and it’s just…”  Seeing that his point didn’t really get across, he elaborated.  “I am to words as you are to… let’s say, colors.”

           “I can tell.”  Nath motioned to Marc’s journal.  “From what I’ve read, you’re really an artist with them.”

           Marc blushed again, though Nath couldn’t tell from what.  “You really think so?”

           “Yeah.  Even just talking to you is… well, kind of exhilarating.”  Wondering if that was the right word to use, he backtracked. “Something like that, I guess.  Anyway…”  He closed his sketchbook.  “What do you say we finally start working?”

           Marc’s expression shifted to surprise.  “W-working?”

           “Yeah.”  He got out of his seat and walked around to Marc’s side.  “Show me what you’ve been writing.”

            “O-okay.”  He reluctantly opened his journal.  “Well, it’s not really, um, much, but there’s this thing you did after Copycat that I sort of expanded on…”

So, yeah, that was Day 1.  Sorry if it sucked, I’m really new to this and I’ve never posted anything before.  That’s my excuse.  Please don’t send hate, but I will take constructive criticism.  Therefore, if you do send hate, pretend it’s that instead.

The whole thing is actually not fully finished, but I’ll try to get everything up here eventually regardless of whether or not I can do it all in time.

11 questions tag

I was tagged by a lot of people, I kept this in the drafts for weeks and just kept adding questions since they’re always different, so thank you for tagging me and sorry if this post is long (I’ll just put it under keep reading).

Also it might be that I forgot or missed someone who tagged me so if that’s the case I’m sorry I’m not ignoring you I promise!

Rules: 1. Always post the rules 2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you 3. Write 11 questions of your own 4. Tag 11 people

Questions by @severeminx

You are hosting a dinner party and can invite 5 historical figures. Who would they be? Mozart, Da Ponte, Aristotle, Lucretius, Marie Skłodowska

What was your favorite cartoon as a kid? probably Pokémon!

What’s your signature drink when going out? Japanese ice tea

Do you have any tattoos? If not, would you like to? i don’t have any and i also don’t think i’ll ever find something that i want on my skin permanently, but we’ll see if we get there i guess

Who was your favourite classmate when you were 16? oh god...thank god this didn’t ask when i was 17 lmao...anyway my fav classmate was my then-BFF. there were also a couple of girls i really found interesting but i guess it wasn’t reciprocated so they always only hung out with a bigger group and being the shy person i am i couldn’t let myself try to be friends with them

How did you meet your best friend? we were in kindergarten together lol, but we didn’t talk (play??) much. then we were in different classes during elementary school but we got in the same class again in middle school and that’s where we became friends

Do you like going to museums? What is the art style you want to check out the most? okay i’m going to admit this here. i like museums, okay? but i’d rather see something like a natural history museum or something like that, honestly i’m a big science nerd and i don’t get as excited about art i guess. but i do go to art museums when visiting cities and i actually find them really interesting, but if i’m just in my town and there’s some temporary art exhibition i just don’t really care about going unless it’s something suuuuper famous :/// i feel like a lot of people will hate me for this buT LISTEN SCIENCE IS IMPORTANT GUYS

What feature or quality do you get complimented on the most? are we talking physically?? people like my hair and my nails I guess. If we’re talking personality-wise then idk, they tell me I’m good at listening (which I admit) and my bff told me he thinks I’m brave and I guess I understand why he said it but honestly I still don’t believe it

What is the most romantic place you have ever visited? I’m not sure because since watching YOI the only romantic place on earth for me is Barcelona and I haven’t been there yet lmao. The places I’ve been to aren’t exactly romantic so I don’t know

What would you define as ‘magical’? That thing that your mind does after 1 or 2am when it becomes more loose without needing drugs but it just gets high on lack of sleep and you’re suddenly really talkative and funny and you can have really deep conversations with people and your jokes are honestly on fucking point and you wish you were like that during the day

What is the most expensive item of clothing you have ever bought and was it worth it? I honestly don’t know oh my god. Probably the suit (pants + blazer) I bought a few years ago and that’s still good and whenever I have to be dressed in a “serious and elegant” way that’s what I go for. So yeah it was worth it.

Questions by @yakoucchu

 The piece of makeup that you always wear. i don’t always wear it but if i wanna put on a bit of something then it’s definitely gonna be mascara + lipstick (or colored lip balm) because I think they both make a ton of difference. Actually now in summer I almost always have colored lip balm from Lush because it’s too humid to be wearing mascara and I don’t feel like wearing a waterproof one lol

If you’re gonna be the author of your favorite series, what are you gonna change in it? well that would be a spoiler lmao but i guess i’d make someone who died in it live

There’s a fact that is happened to you and it makes you heart warming a lil bit when you think about it? you mean besides YOI and captive prince? cuz that’s all i can think about lol (there’s more but i’m being lazy with my answer sorry)

 Someone have ever done something that we can define crazy for you? yeah when my bf first came to visit me and we met for the first time (because we met online)

Do you like your current occupation? i’m unemployed but i’m “working” on being able to find a job soon but tbh i have food and a roof on my head and i’m needing this time of doing nothing but trying to take care of myself so i wouldn’t say i like this but it’s all i can do now

Smoothies, or Milkshakes? smoothies

What’s the thing that you love the most about yourself? hsrghsghshgshgsh most difficult question ever tbh. i like that i’m...rational? yeah rational 

The most strange thing that you ever tried to eat grossed you out? ummmmmmmmmm watch me get a lot of hate for this but....................................................sushi grosses me out and i almost puked when i tried it

Are you ever tried to write something, and after a while giving it up? Why? i did, a lot of things actually. i had an idea for a fic that i realized was going to do me more harm than good so i had to ditch the idea. there are things i know i could write but they’re too personal and still too raw so idk if i ever will write them. other WIPs are just there in my folder for no other reason that I either lost inspiration or that they’re honestly fucking hard to write and I still don’t have all the plot 

How do you feel right not? If I said to you “you’re doing great” it can change something? i’m struggling to keep my shit together. and yes, it changes something so thank you a lot for telling me that :) <3

What’s your favorite movie? idkkkkkk i rarely watch movies but of the latest ones i guess interstellar

Questions by @crescendotayuri 

1. what’s one thing you could never live without? my phone lmaoooooo so cliche

2. what’s your favorite part of your daily routine? probably right after managing to get out of bed, the moment i finally sit down for breakfast with a croissant and a cappuccino (typical italian breakfastTM)

3. what are you most passionate about? ...yuri on ice and captive prince and lgbt+ rights and the environment

4. what’s the best dream you’ve ever had? I don’t really know but sometimes I dream that I become internet-famous and it’s really sad that this is literally one of the best dreams I have lmao

5. happiest memory? I have a few but one of them is seeing Florence and the Machine live (i have others but they’re a bit too personal so idk)

6. are there any videos/jokes/etc that never fail to make you laugh? oh god yes........i’m so lame but like any meme will have me laugh tbh. kermit meme? i laugh. dude blinking meme? i laugh. spongebob meme? i laugh. i could go on lmao but i’ll stop embarrassing myself. there’s also a few comics that I have saved on my phone and they never fail to make me laugh but it’d be hard to explain them here

7. one talent you with you had/could perfect? it’s never been my wish to be able to draw but now that i’m into fandom i guess i would like to be able to do it at least a little. and i wish i could perfect my writing (or at least perfect my English at a native speaker level so it’d be easier)

8. a song you relate to the most? Help I’m alive - Metric

9. how do you take your coffee/tea? i only have cappuccino or latte macchiato and only rarely espresso. get american coffee out of my sight. tea is earl grey usually without milk bc i mostly use tea (without sugar) to stop me from wanting dessert lmao but if i’m feeling like it i’ll take it with milk bc it’s too good

10. what do you do to make yourself feel better when you’re sad or upset? i rewatch yoi or go on twitter and hope there’s some good memes but i trust my squad so yeah usually there’s something

11. what makes you proud of yourself? being a decent person despite everything

Questions by @pllsetskyonice:

1. What’s a song you can’t get enough of at the moment? AAAA it’s too hard to choose one! Just one yesterday by Fall Out Boy and literally every song from Lorde’s Melodrama

2. If someone asked you for a book recommendation, what’s the one book you would recommend? The question is trickyyyy because obviously not all books are for everyone especially if we’re talking about stuff with major trigger warnings etc etc but if I have to say I’ll just go with my fav trilogy Captive Prince (granted I’m talking to an adult) but I’ll leave it to them to decide if they’re up to reading it or not

3. Do you play any musical instruments? Nope :( used to play the piano and then stopped like the idiot I am, but I sing

4. Book or movie? Book

5. Do you ever wish you could turn back time? Eh. I guess.

6. Favourite subject in school? Science in whatever form it came (it was different things every school year but it doesn’t matter if it’s geology chemistry or w/e I’m just a huge science kid)

7. You’ve been given tickets to a concert for an artist you’ve always wanted to see live but never had the chance to. Who are you seeing? Maybe Marina and the Diamonds but there’s so many oh my god I also wouldn’t mind seeing Florence again but I’ve already seen her.......oh wait LORDE YES LORDE probably if I had to choose right at this very moment

8. Is there an accessory you don’t feel dressed without? Not really

9. Have you ever been to a festival? I’m not sure what kinda festival you mean but I think not

10. Have you read all of the original seven Harry Potter books? Yeah but still not in English oops

11. What’s the last film/TV show you watched? Last film was Beauty and the Beast when it came out lmao I’m not a huge movie person, last TV show mmmh let’s say that YOI counts for this yes? because it’s always YOI and I don’t feel like watching anything else rip

My questions:

If you were a character in the last book you’ve read, what would be your role? Protagonist, side kick, villain...?

What’s your biggest pet peeve when reading a book or watching a show/anime/movie? (if you can’t only name one feel free to name a few)

Do you consider yourself to be a creative person?

Describe one person in your life you admire without mentioning the type of relationship you have with them

What’s one personality trait you’d give up immediately if you could?

Think of the farthest place you’ve traveled to and describe one culture shock you had while there (even something small)

What’s the one thing that always manages to motivate you?

What would you tell your 10 year old self?

What’s your favorite trope?

If your BFF tells you (lovingly) “why are you like this?” what are they referring to?

Are you scared of something right now? If you are, what’s one sentence you wish someone would tell you about the thing that scares you?

I tag: @betelxeuse @ilgattopatata @ehsocietypretendstoomuch @otayurl @argentoheart @nerily @janiedean @robb-greyjoy @laurent-rose @dotingdamen @venenix but obviously feel free not to do it (but if you do tag me bc I love reading your answers) fdklahrgag I hope I don’t get annoying with all these tags

ALL 50 QUESTIONS BITCH

HECK

1: Age Group   For fic tbh whatever, I know a lot of people in fandom are underage and are exploring and figuring out what they like, etc. Plus not all my stuff is explicit, and some of the stuff that is still isn’t porn so. As for original stuff that will likely all be explicit as well, so an adult market audience.

2: Genre   Usually fantasy, sometimes science fiction.

3: Big Idea or Detail Oriented Outlining   binch i cant outline for absolute shit. I guess big picture but like…. ?? the biggest possible picture, almost to the point of being useless lmfao. someone help me.

4: Line Editing or Plot Revision   I prefer line editing for fics because I’m lazy and it’s for free, but overhaul type revision results in a better finished product so I use that for original stuff (and commissions).

5: With or Without Deadlines    With deadlines, definitely. I can crank out 1k in an hour if I have a deadline, but without one it can take me 2 years to write just as much (see: Zwangsneurose, started the second I got home from seeing The Winter Soldier, still not finished, word count at ~800 lmfao).

6: The Biggest Compliment   I love it when people mention details that they noticed! Or if god forbid I was funny once.

7: Current WIP Length   I have 12 fic WIPs right now and the longest one is 7.7k. I have 4 original WIPs right now, but they are all in development stages, with no word count yet.

8: Author Comparison Goal   @neil-gaiman 110%. He is my ultimate goals and a huge inspiration, not to mention just a plain cool guy. I also would love to be compared to Rick Riordan or Gillian Flynn.

9: Biggest Struggle   Foreshadowing probably. I sort of wing it as I’m writing, and I can’t do a very good outline like I said, so it’s tough to get good hints and clues as to what’s coming. That’s part of the reason my originals are taking so much development (not just because I have to fill in all the worldbuilding that is already mostly done for fic).

10: Brainstorming With Others or Alone     I like to do a bit of both. I really appreciate input, plus talking things out can really get the creative ball rolling. But I like to get into Deep Shit on my own too, especially with worldbuilding. I’ll always share with others though, even the stuff I wanted to come up with all on my lonesome.

11: Characters Based on Real People     I’m sure there are aspects of people I know, and of myself, in every character I create, and likely even in characters that have already been created. What you know will always leak into your writing. However, I don’t usually base a character fully (or purposefully) around one real person. I do namesakes though, but they’re almost never modeled after that person, it’s just a shoutout to someone I find inspiring in some way.

12: Writing Space Clean or Cluttered     cluttered af binch u been here & seen it smh make me drag myself in front of everyone……

13: Character Driven or Plot Driven     Always character driven!! what kinda question

14: Favorite Writing Related Quote     “Stories may well be lies, but they are good lies that say true things, and which sometimes pay the rent.” - guess who lmao

15: My Characters in Someone Else’s World     I would transport my characters into (brace yourselves for a shock lol jk) American Gods, primarily so that they could get some good old fashioned “help” from the Big Guys.

16: Movie or TV Show     Well two of them have pretty finite endings. The romance legend could be a tv show but with a limited amount of renewal, ala A:TLA (but I’d like it better as a graphic novel). The vampire tragedy has a very finite ending so that would make a better movie. And the witch noir and girl gang are both a bit neverending-WIP-ish so they’d make pretty good shows.

17: Soundtracks     Yes! They help keep me focused and writing in a cohesive tone when I have to leave and come back. Y’all can listen to the playlist I have for witch noir here. Eventually I’ll split it up for character and/or scene mood, and I might add some scene suitable ambient noise tracks too.

18: One Song to Sum It Up    witch noir - Temptress, S.J. Tucker    romance legend - Take Me to Church, Neon Jungle    vampire tragedy - Bodies, Celia Pavey    girl gang - Weapon, Bastille & Angel Haze & FUGZ & Braque

19: Me There or Characters Here     …me there, I guess? In the romance legend, vampire tragedy, and girl gang not anything would really be different, but in the witch noir I’d probably have inherited some sweet powers. Not many of my characters are very friendly tho lmao.

20: Most Wanted Adaptation     Probably (a piece of) the witch noir. It’d be neat to actually see all those neat film noir lighting tricks.

21: Finish     Uh. I finish one shot porn a lot? lmao. Other than that, damn… no.

22: Made Myself Cry     lol yah

23: Proud or Anxious     usually I’m more proud, but sometimes when it’s something that’s very deeply personal or controversial I can get anxious.

24: When Did I Become a Writer     tbh sometimes I think I came out the womb that way. I don’t remember not being a writer, and I know I had legit novel ideas as early as like 3rd grade, and was making shit up with pretty words even earlier.

25: Must Reads in My Genre     three guesses what i’m bout to say y’all. Literally anything by Gaiman. Cornelia Funke’s Inkheart series. Any Pratchett. Donna Gillespe fucked me up with The Light Bearer. Bear Daughter by Judith Berman (although that is kind of a tough read, so I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it for everyone).

26: My Genre Needs More…     Diversity in general, specifically more people of color, queer people, and people with disabilities (that aren’t magically erased). Also in my opinion there needs to be more things in between grimdark and go-lucky fairytale.

27: Inspiration Source     History, anthropology, and pseudoscience.

28: Character Naming Stress from 1-10     Probably about a 2 or a 3. I use behindthename.com which can be searched for meanings, sound patterns, usage, and origin, and has a handy “name themes” search algorithm. I also recently found the legit U.S. census thanks to @peppersandcats helping me out with search terms, and that can be sorted by ethnicity, gender, time period, and geographical location. So I’ve got names pretty well covered!

29: Underwrite or Overwrite First Drafts     It could go either way, but generally speaking unless I have a word limit I usually like to add more during editing. Except when something is confusing or too complicated, then I’ll cut it.

30: Calming or Stressing      Not really either tbh. I enjoy it a lot, but it’s mostly exciting! Not calming or stressful, but either a fun adventure or a challenging puzzle.

31: Favorite Trope     Tough to pick just one tbh. I love tropes when they are done “right”. Even tropes done classically can be great (as long as they’re not -phobic of some sort), but I especially love when they are done satirically or inverted.

32: Backstories for Side Characters     Guilty af. Even characters that might not even make it into the finished book have backstories, personalities, and quirks.

33: Characterize Before Writing or Develop with The Story     A little bit of both. I like to have a solid character to work with at the beginning, but for in-text character development I like to let that unfold with the plot and the other characters.

34: Old Writing in One Word     Prolific

35: Villains or Heroes     I like them both pretty well, but my favorite characters of all time are always a little ambiguous so if I had to pick just one kind that’s what I’d go with.

36: B&W Morality     No way! I live in the gray area.

37: Advice     Have fun! Be proud of yourself for what you come up with and celebrate your creativity even if you think it doesn’t compare with other writers. The happier you are to create, the more creative you’ll get. Also, like with any other kind of art, pick a couple role models to emulate and that will help you develop your own solid style.

38: Advice I Fail At     The first draft doesn’t have to be perfect. I spend too long line editing while I’m writing my first draft and that makes it a lot harder to finish anything.

39: Importance of Positive Reinforcement     I’d say reasonably important. Definitely helpful. But I know I’ll keep writing even without it.

40: Question for Favorite Author     How much difference is there between how his creation is in his head versus how it came out in the words, and does he ever think about rewriting things that are long finished?

41: Distracting to Read While Writing     Actually, no. Reading other comparable works helps keep me motivated, inspired, and focused.

42: Motivated or Discouraged by Critiques     Tbh I don’t think I have ever received a real in-depth critique so I’m not certain? I’ve had idle “I liked this, but I didn’t like/understand that” type of feedback, and that has usually been pretty helpful and appreciated. If nothing else it lets me know what parts of the story might not be as accessible to an audience.

43: Protagonists in My Likeness     Yes, there’s a little of me in very many of my protagonists, and often even in fic characters that I write. But, like with other real people, they’re not usually modeled after me, we just have some stuff in common because I leak over into them (and sometimes they leak over into me) when I’m writing them.

44: Choosing An Idea      This is something I struggle with, really. My process is usually to try writing a bit of it, and if I hate it it’s probably not viable.

45: Harder or Easier While Stressed      It’s usually a harder to write when I’m stressed, and what I do manage to write doesn’t have as much quality.

46: Sort Protagonists      !!! There are too many!! these are just the Big Ones (so far) in witch noir      Gryffindor - toots, eddie, maddie, anca, seth      Hufflepuff - lily, charisma, s.j., angel, iris      Ravenclaw - fred, ariel, dido, father piero      Slytherin - evelyn, jessica, sloan, clara-claudia, aixa

47: Five Year Goal     Hopefully I will have fucking finished something. Maybe published? Or maybe getting my manuscript looked at. (I have a humble-ish time frame, I think. Writing is a lot of work, and five years is a lot less time than it sounds like.)

48: Co-Writing     I’m a huge control freak, so probably not. At least not with original characters. Maybe for fic tho, because that can be much lower stakes lmao.

49: Fast or Slow     When I’m in The Zone I speed thru, but it can take me a while to get started and I come up on blocks pretty often so I’m a slow finisher.

50: Worldbuilding or Characters     Shit man, that’s a tough choice. I guess characters? I don’t know.